Original subtitles

- Don't you miss Italy, ray?

Look, I took that right from aunt colletta's balcony.

- Man, look at that lake. - Mm.

- Next time we go, let's swim naked.

- You know, there's fish in there.

- Okay, then just you.

- Oh, I just loved it so much there.

Everybody got along so well.

I just wish we could hold on to that feeling,

You know, of just enjoying every day.

- How about we go upstairs

And enjoy the rest of today?

- Okay.

[car approaching]

You hear that?

- Hey.

- This is your father's fault.

- What are you talking about?

I was saying "stop."

- I was stomping on the brakes,

But nothing happened.

- Oh, my god.

[stuttering]

Our house. Look at our house.

- I know. I know.

Ma, what the hell?

- He knew about the brakes.

What did the mechanic say about the brakes?

Tell them.

- Ah!

Aw, look at this.

- The mechanic said that the brakes were bad.

- Of course he's going to say that.

Every time I bring the car in, he says the brakes are bad.

- Well, I think the brakes are bad, frank.

- Okay, fine.

I'll have the brakes checked

When I get the taillight fixed.

- The taillight?

Frank, look at the house!

- I saw it.

Look at this.

This drywall, it's like paper,

Probably foreign-made.

On the other hand,

Say what you want about american cars...

Beats a house.

- [laughs]

What, did they drive into the house?

- Yeah. Yeah.

- What happened?

- Grandma and grandpa stopped by.

- Robert, what do we do?

- Well, I'll fill out a report.

You should call your insurance companies.

- Oh, here we go.

Why the hell did I let you drive?

- Because you can't see anymore.

- I can see a house!

- Oh, my god.

- All right, look, don't worry, deb.

I'm sure that dad's car insurance

Will cover this.

- I'm not sure it's current.

[all gasp]

What? We never go anywhere.

- I can't believe this!

- All right, look, do you guys have homeowner's insurance?

- Okay, our insurance. Good. Right.

Okay, where did I put that?

Hopefully, it's not over there.

- Hey, hey, dog. Get out of here, dog.

No, go away.

- Oh, look at him.

Look at him. Can we keep him?

- No, sweetie. No.

- We never get anything.

- Ally, we can't keep a dog.

He'll just run away, okay?

Just--come on.

Get him out. Go out the back.

- Oh, you shouldn't let them take the dog

Through the kitchen.

He'll make a mess in there.

- Okay, good. Looks like we're covered.

- Oh, wonderful.

- You'll just have to pay the deductible.

- 1,000 bucks? Stinking crooks.

All right, here's what you do.

You get your contractor

To add an extra grand to the bill,

Then when your insurance company

Cuts you your check, I get it back.

- All right, dad, look, I don't want to hear this.

- Hey, dudley do-right, wake up.

This is the way the world works.

It's built into the insurance system.

- Oh, yeah?

Well, it's also built into the criminal justice system.

Category: Fraud.

- Nerd!

- Nerd? - Nerd.

- Calling me a nerd, huh?

You drive into the house, and now I'm a nerd?

You're calling me a nerd?

- Ray, do something.

- What?

- Tell your father

We're doing this the right way.

- Hey, me not having to pay anything

Is the right way.

Aw, holy crap. Look at this scratch.

- Okay, see, here's the thing.

Um, when a person drives their car

Into someone's home,

I think that person should be sympathetic

And apologetic and try to help

The person whose home has been demolished

Try to make it better!

- Hey, I'm trying, but you won't listen.

- I won't listen?

- I must say, debra,

That tone doesn't help the situation.

- My tone? My tone?

You just drove a car into my house!

- I told the kids to leave the back door open,

So you get that nice cross-ventilation going.

- Okay, ray, what are we going to do?

Will you talk to them? You talk to them.

- What do I say? - What do you say?

Aren't you upset about this?

- Watch this. He's going to take her side now.

- Would you say something?

- One thing I will say about your father

Is that he's very good with insurance matters.

I mean, over the years,

We've had our share of incidents,

And we've always done very well.

- It's true.

It is true.

I have seen some incredible things.

- Frank, you're going to pay for this.

That's all there is to it.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- No, frank, you're paying the deductible.

That's how it's going to be.

- Oh, really?

- Why are you just standing there?

- What am I supposed to do?

- Oh, all right. Thanks.

- Frank, I want a check for $1,000 by tomorrow.

- Don't hold your breath.

- Frank, I'm not kidding.

- Fine.

Fine!

I'll pay the damn deductible!

Apparently,

All you people care about is money!

I'll see you at home, marie.

[engine turns over]

- Oh, wait, frank, wait.

I need to go to the supermarket!

- Hey, crabby.

- Hey!

Come here, come here.

- What? - The contractor finished.

Huh? Huh?

What do you think?

- Yeah, definitely better with a wall.

- Yeah, but, I mean,

Don't you think they did a great job?

- Yeah, looks great.

- Yeah, and your father's check didn't bounce.

- See? It all worked out.

You didn't have to get so upset.

- I'm just happy it's finished.

- Yeah, me too. You know why?

Because now that the wall is here,

Nobody can see me do this.

Wait a minute. What's up with the stripes?

- Oh, they're okay. They're okay.

- No, no, look, these stripes, are they the same as these?

Because these look like thinner stripes.

- Yeah, I know, but it's close enough.

You can't even tell.

- Hmm, yeah. Okay.

No, I can tell. I can tell.

I can tell. Look at the old wall.

These thin stripes... They're thicker.

It's not the same.

It's not the same wallpaper. What's going on?

- Well, nothing. No, the painter told me

That they don't make our wallpaper anymore,

And to reprint this one would have been really expensive.

- Yeah, but this isn't the same.

- Yeah, but, ray, we would have had to pay more.

- No, we wouldn't have.

My father would have had to pay more.

- No, we can't blame this on your father.

I told the wallpaper guy that this was okay.

- Well, why did you do that?

- Because I didn't want to deal with your parents anymore.

- Huh.

So my father gets away with it,

And you're okay with that.

- Yeah, I'm okay with this.

I wasn't okay when they drove the car through the house,

But you have to pick your battles.

- This wallpaper's incorrect. - All right, look.

Stand 3 feet back. You can hardly tell.

- But maybe I don't want to stand 3 feet back.

Maybe I want to stand right here

And look at my wallpaper, you know?

I mean, here, look, here's wallpaper,

And here is different wallpaper.

What world am I in?

- Ray, calm down.

- I will not calm down. Huh? We live in a funhouse here!

Cars are coming in, and wild dogs wandering around,

And crazy wallpaper!

- Why are you getting so upset about this now?

- My father is paying for it. - No, ray, we just can't--

- No, no, look, don't you get it?

Okay, somebody has to go over there and tell him,

Or they're just going to keep backing into the house.

- We can get used to the wallpaper.

- No, no, no, look, they're going to know I mean business

'cause business is what I mean! - No, no, no.

- Business. - No, ray, are you insane?

You're not going over there.

You're going to have a heart attack.

- I don't care.

- How come you didn't get this upset

When they drove the car through the house?

- Why are you siding with them?

- I'm not siding with them. I'm worried about you.

- Well, don't worry about me, sister girl, okay,

'cause my eyes are open for the first time.

- No, no, no, you're not going. - Yeah, to hell I'm not, okay?

They have to know. - All right, wait.

I'll go over there. - No!

- No, ray, let me go!

- [screams]

- [shushing]

Okay, I'll handle them. I'll handle them.

I got the wall up, didn't I?

- Yeah, look at it.

- Hello, dear.

Hi, raymond.

- Uh-huh. Hmm?

- I missed you, raymond.

I wanted to call. I wanted to come over.

But, you know, your father's impossible.

- I'm not here.

I just wanted to see the wall I bought.

- Oh...Good.

Good, because we wanted to show it to you.

- Oh, good. I'd like to see it too.

- I can't believe the money these humps get to do this.

- Go. Go. Go.

- That's actually funny because it turns out

That the new wallpaper doesn't exactly match,

So it might cost more money to fix it.

- Cost who more?

- Um, uh, we were thinking...

You.

- What are you talking about? I'm not going to pay anything.

The wallpaper's fine. - I want it the same!

Do you hear me?

Exactly, exactly the same, and I mean exactly the same!

You can only push a man so far.

- Ray, it's not that big of a deal--calm down.

- Traitor!

You can never talk to me about my parents again

Because, in this case, you are the backer-downer.

- This wallpaper looks just like the other wallpaper.

- Yeah, but it's not, mom. It's not, okay?

Here, come on. Let's see. Let's see. Come over here.

And look, see, over here, over here,

Thick, normal stripes.

Now look over here,

Thin, weird, disgusting stripes.

Okay? All right.

I'm not going to live like this,

So I think you and your husband

Should listen very carefully, all right?

You are going to have to pay the difference.

You understand?

- Suck rope, pal.

- That's it. Get out of the house.

- Raymond! - That--get out. Get out, huh?

Yeah, the both of you.

Take your damn cannolis with you.

- Oh, raymond! - Out. Out.

- This is how you talk to a father...And her?

- Yeah.

Start walking, all right, because I've had it.

- Ray, they didn't even know about the wallpaper.

- I don't care, all right? It's over. Good day.

- Raymond. - I said good day.

- Let's go, marie.

One less funeral we got to go to.

- Frank, we're older than them.

- Fine, then don't come to my funeral.

- I'm coming. I'm coming.

I'll be the one doing this, huh? Yeah. Yeah?

Go. Get out. - No, ray, stop this.

- Why? - No.

- Hi.

Is this about me?

- Don't come to my funeral!

- But there are so few things I'm looking forward to.

All right, what's going on?

- Your brother's throwing us out.

- And you're really going?

- Yep. Yeah. It's a new day. Get out.

- No, stop. We're not doing this.

- What are you talking about? This is what you always wanted.

- I did--never wanted this. This is terrible.

Everybody, come on in. Come on in, and sit down.

- What are you doing? - I'm getting the car!

- No, frank, sit down.

Everybody, sit down. Marie, you too.

- I'm not sure I want to sit down.

I'm not sure I'm welcome in this house.

- Oh, yeah, you're picking up on that?

- All right, ray! Sit down.

- No. What are you doing? - Sit.

- I can't throw them out if they're sitting.

- All right. Sit down.

- Hey, the wall looks good.

- No, it doesn't, huh?

Can't you see? Look at the stripes, you idiot.

- All right, ray, that's enough.

Okay, listen.

This is really not about the wallpaper stripes.

- Yes, it is! - No, ray--

- What, I don't have the right to be angry?

- Yes, honey, everybody has the right to be angry,

But let's try something, okay?

Maybe it would help us,

For now and in the future,

For you to tell us

In a calm and adult manner

Why you're really upset.

Once and for all, ray, tell them why.

- It's the wallpaper. It's the wallpaper.

The stripes are too thin,

And they were just going to let it go

Like it doesn't matter.

- He doesn't like his wallpaper.

- No, no, the wallpaper was the last straw.

- Good, good. See? See, there's the problem.

You just said "last straw,"

Which means there's been a lot of other straws.

- Lot of straws? There's a lot of straws.

- Yeah, okay. Okay.

So--but you've just been keeping it all bottled up inside

Until just now, when you went bananas about wallpaper.

- Very unhealthy, cubby.

- Right. Right. So, hey, you know what?

Let's use this event

As an opportunity for all of us

To learn how to talk things out, you know,

So we don't let our feelings get all bottled up inside

To the point where they explode.

- You're absolutely right.

Frank, you're driving everybody crazy.

- It's you too.

- What? What did I ever do?

- You're intrusive.

- Interesting.

- How am I intrusive?

- Well, for example, there was that time

You drove a car through the wall.

- One time.

- Okay, so it's not always the car,

But it's always...You.

You just-- you never stop.

You're always barging in here.

- Oh, I do not barge in.

- You do. You do. You barge in here.

- All right, ray, ray, let's try to use nice words.

- You're always...

Coming over,

Sticking your-- - nice, nice.

- And staying...A long time.

- Well, why don't you just say something?

- I want to say something,

But sometimes I get the feeling

That you don't listen,

And then you do something like rear-end our couch.

And--and I want to say something then too,

But I know that you're not going to listen,

And dad is not going to want to pay,

And I know debra's going to get mad at me

Because I didn't say anything.

But you have to know

That I'm always this close to saying something,

This close.

And there it is.

So that's what happened today.

- Wow. Ray, that was really good.

- Oh, oh, honey, I understand.

- Good. Good. See? Now, this is progress.

- Yes, raymond, dear,

You just have to let us know when you want something,

That's all.

- Yeah, we're not mind readers.

- And that way, you never have to shout at us

Because that really is unpleasant.

- I'm sorry about the shouting.

- That's right, pal. No shouting.

- I got it.

- Good. Okay, so good. What did we learn here today?

- He shouldn't shout.

- Yes, but also that we should learn

To respect each other

And be considerate of each other, right?

- I guess so. - Yes. Oh, good.

Oh, isn't this nice?

- You know, if I may, I have some issues that--

- That's enough talk, robbie.

Have a cannoli, raymond.

- [clicks tongue]

Hey, here's the Italy tape. Is stefania on here?

- Hey, put it in. - Uh, you know what?

You're welcome to borrow that,

If you want to watch it at your house.

- No, it'd be such fun to watch it all together.

- Hey, look, there's the gelato place.

- I'm thirsty. Hey, sweetie,

How 'bout some iced tea?

- That would be lovely.

- Okay. I'll get it.

Ray, could I see you, please?

They are clueless. Absolutely clueless.

I-I mean, I don't know what else to do.

- Well, it's okay. Look, we talked it out.

It'll be fine-- they'll watch the tape,

And then they'll go.

- Iced tea!

- So are you going to get that for them?

'cause I could use one too.