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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:13,679 [ slow middle eastern music plays ] 2 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:45,294 [ indistinct conversations, laughter ] 3 00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:11,520 Where is my bride? 4 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:20,896 [ wind whistling, chimes tinkling ] 5 00:01:27,403 --> 00:01:29,838 My wedding dress. Quickly, put it on. 6 00:01:33,376 --> 00:01:37,913 Soon you'll live your life in jewels and not chains. 7 00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:39,565 [ woman chanting ] 8 00:01:54,096 --> 00:01:55,898 Come, child. 9 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,816 Your groom awaits you. 10 00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:14,082 [ rock music plays ] 11 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,801 All: Honeybees, all right, all right! 12 00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,619 Honeybees, all right! 13 00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:19,638 Whoo! Honeybees, all right, all right! 14 00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:22,224 Honeybees, all right! Whoo! 15 00:02:22,291 --> 00:02:24,125 Go... Go... Go... Go... 16 00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:25,227 Honeybees! Honeybees! Honeybees! Honeybees! 17 00:02:25,294 --> 00:02:27,596 [ all cheering ] 18 00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,515 You ready, hildenburg? 19 00:02:29,599 --> 00:02:30,566 Yes. 20 00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:31,600 Great. 21 00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,569 I have one question. 22 00:02:33,636 --> 00:02:35,938 Why am I dressed like one of the fenmore foxes? 23 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,806 Aren't they our hated crosstown rivals? 24 00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:39,658 Yes...But... 25 00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:42,110 This year's theme is unity... For all cheerleaders. 26 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,795 Oh. 27 00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:46,081 Have fun. 28 00:02:46,148 --> 00:02:48,784 [ jeering and catcalling ] 29 00:02:52,288 --> 00:02:54,823 Cheerleaders: Wipe out the foxes! 30 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,830 Ugh! 31 00:03:01,881 --> 00:03:05,434 [ crowd cheering ] 32 00:03:05,501 --> 00:03:07,335 Both: Boys are cheats and liars. 33 00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:09,605 They're such a big disgrace. 34 00:03:09,672 --> 00:03:12,941 They will tell you anything to get to second... 35 00:03:13,009 --> 00:03:16,061 Baseball, baseball, he thinks he's gonna score. 36 00:03:16,145 --> 00:03:18,864 If you let him go all the way, then you are a... 37 00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:20,348 Hor...Ticulture studies flowers -- 38 00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:22,534 [ laughter ] 39 00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:26,371 Oh, no, she didn't. 40 00:03:26,439 --> 00:03:28,189 Oh, yes, she did. 41 00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:30,859 Girlfriend's booty be all wrapped up in licious. 42 00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:32,360 All wrapped up. 43 00:03:32,412 --> 00:03:34,880 You're pretty dope and phat yourselves. 44 00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:39,167 Ling-ling! You forgot lunch, baby pie! 45 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,869 Chicken with fried vegetable, 46 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,388 Bulgogi, and kimchi. 47 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:44,723 Thanks, mom. 48 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:48,543 Okay. You all learn real good now. 49 00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:50,012 Ling-ling? Ling-ling? 50 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,313 Can somebody answer the phone? 51 00:03:51,380 --> 00:03:52,998 Oh, dang, that's messed up. 52 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,766 [ laughs ] [ laughs ] 53 00:03:54,851 --> 00:03:56,602 Out of all the korean liquor stores, 54 00:03:56,686 --> 00:03:58,887 Why did my dad have to walk into that one? 55 00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:01,990 I'm returning your papers on the salem witch trials. 56 00:04:02,058 --> 00:04:06,528 I'm sad to report that eden, here, got the only "a." 57 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:08,196 Well, that's not fair. 58 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:11,583 I mean, she was the only one who was actually there. 59 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,118 [ laughter ] 60 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,371 [ giggles ] 61 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:20,759 [ speaks angrily in foreign language ] 62 00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:23,929 [ giggles ] 63 00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:25,597 Vice-principal bernard. 64 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:28,383 Oh, miss spencer, wonderful job this morning. 65 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:31,103 You certainly know how to whip up a crowd. 66 00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:34,189 As pretty as you are, I bet you really whipped them up 67 00:04:34,256 --> 00:04:36,608 Back when you were cheerleading captain, hmm? 68 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,259 Me? Oh, no, no, no. 69 00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:40,862 I was much more of a band chick, actually -- tuba -- 70 00:04:40,930 --> 00:04:43,565 Lead tuba -- honor band. 71 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,485 [ laughs ] well, then you wouldn't mind writing us some passes 72 00:04:46,552 --> 00:04:48,453 So we could, uh, practice some new moves? 73 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:51,456 Oh, jessica, I-I-I don't know about that. 74 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:54,242 You know, that trophy is gonna look so good 75 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,410 In your office. 76 00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:56,444 Oh... 77 00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,130 All right. 78 00:04:58,214 --> 00:04:59,915 [ chuckles ] 79 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:03,835 ♪ that's what girls do ♪ 80 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:07,773 ♪ they keep you guessing the whole day through ♪ [ all cheering ] 81 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:11,343 ♪ play your emotions, push all your buttons ♪ 82 00:05:11,427 --> 00:05:13,845 ♪ it's true ♪ 83 00:05:13,930 --> 00:05:15,964 ♪ that's what girls do ♪ 84 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,300 ♪ that's what we do ♪ 85 00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:21,570 [ giggling ] 86 00:05:21,637 --> 00:05:23,855 Whoo! 87 00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:29,027 ♪ you ask me why I gotta play so hard to get ♪ 88 00:05:29,112 --> 00:05:31,747 Ohh! Ugh! Oh! 89 00:05:31,814 --> 00:05:36,535 ♪ you ask me do I play it cool just to make you sweat ♪ 90 00:05:36,619 --> 00:05:39,287 Mmm! That's really good. 91 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:42,040 Um... How much do I owe you? 92 00:05:43,459 --> 00:05:46,128 It's okay. It's on the house. 93 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,379 [ smacks lips ] 94 00:05:47,463 --> 00:05:48,296 Really?! 95 00:05:49,832 --> 00:05:50,932 Thanks. 96 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,001 ♪ ...Through to you-u-u-u-u ♪ 97 00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:56,471 ♪ that's what girls do ♪ [ girls giggling ] 98 00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:58,173 ♪ they keep you guessing... ♪ 99 00:05:58,224 --> 00:06:00,726 Who's gonna pay for that, asshole? 100 00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:06,648 You are not gonna make it in this business. 101 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:10,035 [ gasps ] you total binger! 102 00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:13,372 April, this is gonna go straight to your ass. 103 00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:17,175 "itchbay" alert. 104 00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:19,411 Bianca. 105 00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:23,382 [ sighs ] 106 00:06:25,001 --> 00:06:27,753 Jessica, you look great! 107 00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:29,537 Are you doing something different 108 00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:31,556 Or just hanging out with skankier friends? 109 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:32,758 [ laughter ] 110 00:06:32,842 --> 00:06:34,176 [ exhales sharply ] 111 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,561 Wow, bianca, you look really good, too. 112 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,731 Um...Are you eating less or just barfing more? 113 00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,716 [ laughter ] 114 00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:43,151 Barfing more. 115 00:06:46,022 --> 00:06:47,856 Good luck at the cheer competition. 116 00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:48,573 Yeah. 117 00:06:49,942 --> 00:06:50,892 You too. 118 00:06:50,943 --> 00:06:52,828 [ chuckles softly ] 119 00:06:54,947 --> 00:06:56,581 Hmm... 120 00:06:58,367 --> 00:06:59,284 [ alarm ringing ] 121 00:06:59,368 --> 00:07:00,919 [ all laughing ] 122 00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:02,921 Bye-bye. 123 00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:06,041 Agh! 124 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,427 Oh! Oh, my god! Oh! Oh! 125 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,679 Let's go, winona. 126 00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,636 [ indistinct conversation, giggling ] 127 00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:23,024 April: Jess, what are you doing? 128 00:07:23,092 --> 00:07:25,527 Hang on a sec. 129 00:07:25,594 --> 00:07:27,779 [ up-tempo music plays ] 130 00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:39,374 Whoa. 131 00:07:39,441 --> 00:07:41,159 This is kind of cool. 132 00:07:41,244 --> 00:07:43,628 [ foreign accent ] can I help you ladies? 133 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,213 Oh, yeah. What is this? 134 00:07:45,281 --> 00:07:46,965 Oh, yeah, I like that, too. 135 00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:49,551 It's actually a senegalese lute 136 00:07:49,618 --> 00:07:51,553 Carved from deerwood, 137 00:07:51,620 --> 00:07:54,723 Used for fertility rituals and... 138 00:07:54,790 --> 00:07:56,508 Sure. Yeah. Cool. 139 00:07:56,592 --> 00:07:59,627 Oh, and you can put your weed in there. 140 00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:01,563 [ chuckles ] 141 00:08:01,630 --> 00:08:02,981 Oh. 142 00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:04,232 Check this out. 143 00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:06,434 Oh, yeah. That's beautiful. 144 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:10,021 It's actually a model of the prison on robben island 145 00:08:10,106 --> 00:08:13,308 Where nelson mandela was held 27 years. 146 00:08:13,359 --> 00:08:17,078 Oh. Oh. And before the collapse of apartheid, of course. 147 00:08:17,146 --> 00:08:19,364 Yeah, he came out pretty hate-free, though, 148 00:08:19,448 --> 00:08:21,500 You know, ready to heal -- 149 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:24,152 Went on to become the president of south africa 150 00:08:24,203 --> 00:08:26,988 After that -- after they freed him, of course, sure. 151 00:08:27,039 --> 00:08:28,256 Wow. Yeah. 152 00:08:28,324 --> 00:08:29,991 A lot of people don't realize this, 153 00:08:30,042 --> 00:08:32,928 But you can put your weed in there. 154 00:08:32,995 --> 00:08:34,095 Oh. [ chuckles ] [ chuckles ] 155 00:08:34,163 --> 00:08:36,381 This is great. Sure. 156 00:08:36,465 --> 00:08:38,884 Well, if you have any more questions, 157 00:08:38,968 --> 00:08:41,186 I'll be in the back sleeping, so... 158 00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:42,503 Great. 159 00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:45,357 Okay. Thanks. 160 00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:47,943 Oh, actually, this is the back. Sorry. 161 00:08:48,010 --> 00:08:49,978 Oh. Oh. 162 00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:53,365 This stuff makes me feel so proud to be african-american. 163 00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:57,352 Ling-ling! 164 00:08:57,403 --> 00:08:58,737 You walk right by crazy nail, 165 00:08:58,821 --> 00:09:00,855 No say "hi" me. 166 00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,457 Hi, mom. 167 00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:07,045 Bye, girls! 168 00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:08,964 Fake pearls! 169 00:09:09,031 --> 00:09:11,883 [ girls giggling ] 170 00:09:15,371 --> 00:09:18,423 [ up-tempo drum music plays ] 171 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:25,981 [ music swells ] 172 00:09:26,048 --> 00:09:30,435 [ wind whistling, chimes tinkling ] 173 00:09:30,519 --> 00:09:33,655 [ foreign accent ] stop banging those drums! 174 00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:36,157 I'm sorry. 175 00:09:36,225 --> 00:09:38,059 I didn't even know you could hear that. 176 00:09:40,396 --> 00:09:43,731 Oh, my god. Look at those earrings. 177 00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:46,034 I'd be the envy of every girl at prom. 178 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,752 [ gasps ] 179 00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:50,038 Not like that was in jeopardy or anything. 180 00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:51,572 [ girls laugh ] 181 00:09:51,624 --> 00:09:54,292 Um, excuse me. How much are these? 182 00:09:54,377 --> 00:09:57,462 Not for sale. That's a genuine artifact. 183 00:09:57,546 --> 00:09:59,247 Oh. 184 00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,088 No! 185 00:10:07,139 --> 00:10:08,607 No! 186 00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:24,406 Okay, I'm all set. 187 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:33,748 Is that all you got -- $18?! 188 00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:35,450 It's a gas station. 189 00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:37,752 Everybody pays with credit cards nowadays. 190 00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,387 Help yourself to some nachos. 191 00:10:53,436 --> 00:10:55,487 [ all giggling ] 192 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:56,738 [ bell dings ] 193 00:10:58,474 --> 00:11:01,242 Hey, that's for doug flutie's kids! 194 00:11:07,649 --> 00:11:08,333 Aah! [ bell dings ] 195 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,586 [ tires squeal, bell dings ] 196 00:11:11,653 --> 00:11:12,537 Aah! Aah! Oh! 197 00:11:12,621 --> 00:11:13,588 [ laughter ] 198 00:11:13,655 --> 00:11:14,489 [ bell dings ] 199 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:17,959 [ tires squeal, bell dings ] 200 00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:20,095 [ bell dings ] 201 00:11:20,162 --> 00:11:21,596 [ tires squeal, bell dings ] 202 00:11:21,663 --> 00:11:22,797 [ tires squeal ] I'm in here! 203 00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:23,598 [ bell dings ] help! 204 00:11:23,665 --> 00:11:24,966 Whoo! 205 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,184 [ tires squeal, bell dings ] 206 00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:27,835 [ horn honks ] 207 00:11:32,224 --> 00:11:33,558 Agh! 208 00:11:33,642 --> 00:11:34,859 Agh! 209 00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:39,030 [ girls giggling ] 210 00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:45,186 You look really good. [ laughs ] 211 00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:47,188 Really good. 212 00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:51,710 Um, excuse me... 213 00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,795 [ gasping ] 214 00:11:53,862 --> 00:11:55,914 The gas cap's on that side. 215 00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:02,537 Mm-hmm. Oh, I'm sorry. 216 00:12:02,588 --> 00:12:04,255 [ girls laugh ] 217 00:12:08,511 --> 00:12:11,062 Uh, hello... 218 00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,014 Full service. 219 00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,383 And, um, could you, like, check the oil 220 00:12:15,434 --> 00:12:17,652 And all that other junk under the hood? 221 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,661 Like his job is that hard. 222 00:12:26,728 --> 00:12:28,279 [ all laugh ] 223 00:12:28,364 --> 00:12:31,750 Minimum wage for a maximum loser. 224 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,535 Oh, good one. 225 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,503 Hey...Check this out. 226 00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:37,839 [ horn honks ] 227 00:12:37,906 --> 00:12:38,706 Ow! 228 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,592 [ all laughing ] 229 00:12:40,676 --> 00:12:42,710 [ grunting ] 230 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,013 Sorry. Accident. 231 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:47,132 You're so bad! 232 00:12:47,216 --> 00:12:48,933 [ laughter ] I'm okay. 233 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,469 It's okay. I'm okay. 234 00:12:51,554 --> 00:12:53,921 Hey, how much you bet I can get him again? 235 00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:56,191 [ horn honks ] 236 00:12:56,258 --> 00:12:57,525 [ grunts ] [ all laughing ] 237 00:12:57,593 --> 00:12:59,594 Oh. Uhh. 238 00:13:02,314 --> 00:13:05,283 [ sizzling ] ow! Oh! 239 00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:06,568 [ all giggling ] 240 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,069 Oops. 241 00:13:10,906 --> 00:13:13,291 [ bell dings, horn honks ] whoo! 242 00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:35,296 ♪ it's the summer, the summer ♪ 243 00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:38,316 ♪ yo, my cats are trippin', it's the summer ♪ 244 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,518 ♪ I'll get my swerve on, fight evil villains gone ♪ 245 00:13:40,603 --> 00:13:40,735 ♪ so come on now ♪ 246 00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:46,241 ♪ I've been locked in a room not waiting for long ♪ 247 00:13:46,308 --> 00:13:48,109 ♪ and to tell you the truth ♪ 248 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,977 ♪ I don't even want to sing this song ♪ 249 00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:52,413 ♪ the sun is up, that's what my crew is all about... ♪ 250 00:13:52,481 --> 00:13:53,698 I'm so pretty. 251 00:13:53,782 --> 00:13:55,033 Booger. 252 00:13:55,117 --> 00:13:56,868 [ giggling ] 253 00:13:56,952 --> 00:13:58,786 Booger! [ sighs ] 254 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,206 I told you not to go through my stuff. 255 00:14:01,290 --> 00:14:03,091 What are you doing wearing my bra?! 256 00:14:03,158 --> 00:14:05,043 I'm not wearing your bra. 257 00:14:05,127 --> 00:14:07,795 I was simply holding it against myself. 258 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,681 Get out of my room, you little turd! 259 00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:11,999 Wait a minute. 260 00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:14,001 What happened to you? 261 00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:15,053 Nothing. 262 00:14:17,389 --> 00:14:18,723 [ gasps ] 263 00:14:18,807 --> 00:14:21,008 Did that cavanaugh kid do this to you? 264 00:14:23,229 --> 00:14:25,280 [ sighs ] 265 00:14:25,347 --> 00:14:28,116 All right. Come here. 266 00:14:28,183 --> 00:14:30,201 He is such a punk. 267 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,537 You know, one of these days, 268 00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:34,021 He's gonna get it. 269 00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:35,290 There you go. 270 00:14:35,357 --> 00:14:36,824 Better. 271 00:14:38,527 --> 00:14:40,628 Is that my lipstick?! 272 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:44,799 [ smooches ] 273 00:14:44,866 --> 00:14:46,334 [ scoffs ] 274 00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:48,503 Ohhhhh! 275 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:51,389 [ horn honks ] 276 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,558 [ introduction to butch walker's "take tomorrow" plays ] 277 00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:03,651 ♪ give me all your fear ♪ 278 00:15:03,719 --> 00:15:06,604 ♪ throw it all away ♪ 279 00:15:06,689 --> 00:15:10,024 ♪ and think about the good things ♪ 280 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:13,411 ♪ no matter what they say ♪ 281 00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:16,698 ♪ we'll take tomorrow, baby ♪ 282 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,566 ♪ yeah ♪ 283 00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:22,370 ♪ one day at a time ♪ 284 00:15:27,075 --> 00:15:28,593 Hey. 285 00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:29,928 Hi. 286 00:15:35,050 --> 00:15:37,936 [ sighs softly ] 287 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:41,055 [ sighs ] 288 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:43,641 Oh, jess, when you do that... 289 00:15:43,726 --> 00:15:46,561 My whole leg tingles and shakes. 290 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,029 Really? 291 00:15:48,096 --> 00:15:51,265 Well, what happens if I kiss you... 292 00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:52,600 There? 293 00:15:52,651 --> 00:15:54,435 [ grunts ] 294 00:15:54,486 --> 00:15:55,954 [ laughs ] 295 00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:59,440 You have to come snowboarding with me this weekend. 296 00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:01,876 Oh, silly billy nilly, 297 00:16:01,943 --> 00:16:04,945 I told you I'm not having sex with you. 298 00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:06,113 No. 299 00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:07,799 We could sip hot chocolate 300 00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:09,300 And play scrabble with my little brother. 301 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:10,551 [ laughs ] 302 00:16:10,619 --> 00:16:12,637 You call it whatever you want. 303 00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:15,106 I'm still not having sex with you. 304 00:16:15,174 --> 00:16:16,123 [ sighs ] 305 00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:17,291 Billy... 306 00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:19,794 Look... 307 00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:22,263 You know how important this is to me. 308 00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:24,799 And when that special moment happens, 309 00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:28,636 I just...I want it to be perfect. 310 00:16:28,687 --> 00:16:32,440 I would never dream of rushing you. 311 00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:34,359 [ gasps ] 312 00:16:34,443 --> 00:16:36,277 Thank you, billy. 313 00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:38,246 Oh... 314 00:16:38,313 --> 00:16:41,582 If you change your mind, we could drive up together. 315 00:16:41,650 --> 00:16:43,584 I'll wait behind for you. 316 00:16:43,652 --> 00:16:45,536 [ laughs ] front...Behind... 317 00:16:45,621 --> 00:16:47,071 I'm still not doing it. 318 00:16:51,159 --> 00:16:52,260 Good night, billy. 319 00:16:54,546 --> 00:16:55,880 [ sighs ] 320 00:16:57,466 --> 00:17:02,220 [ b.T. Express' "do it ('til you're satisfied)" plays ] 321 00:17:08,427 --> 00:17:10,361 [ laughs ] 322 00:17:13,732 --> 00:17:16,784 [ laughs ] 323 00:17:16,852 --> 00:17:19,070 Oh, your life is like a fairytale. 324 00:17:19,138 --> 00:17:21,739 You and billy are, like, totally disney. 325 00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:23,708 You know, it's scary sometimes. 326 00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:26,828 I just... I don't know what I'd do 327 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:30,164 If things weren't so...Perfect. 328 00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:34,218 I'm so glad you're my best friend. 329 00:17:34,286 --> 00:17:36,671 ♪ oooh ♪ [ chuckles ] 330 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,172 ♪ go on and do it ♪ 331 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,507 ♪ do it ♪ [ laughing ] 332 00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,309 ♪ do it 'til you're satisfied ♪ 333 00:17:41,376 --> 00:17:43,177 ♪ whatever it is ♪ 334 00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:45,129 I'll see you tomorrow. 335 00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:47,031 Okay. Good night. 336 00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:48,683 Bye. 337 00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,234 [ beep ] 338 00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:52,103 [ sighs ] 339 00:17:52,187 --> 00:17:55,656 [ wind whistling, chimes tinkling ] 340 00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:00,695 [ suspenseful music plays ] 341 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,666 [ exhaling deeply ] 342 00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:22,467 [ sighs ] 343 00:18:36,482 --> 00:18:38,816 [ urinating ] 344 00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:45,623 Aaaaaaah! 345 00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:48,543 [ gasping, whimpering ] 346 00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:54,081 Aaaaaaaah! 347 00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:57,835 Aah! 348 00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,620 [ thud ] 349 00:19:02,457 --> 00:19:03,474 [ gasps ] 350 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:06,310 Aah! Aah! 351 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,346 Aah! [ knock on door ] 352 00:19:08,430 --> 00:19:10,598 Jessica, honey, is everything all right? 353 00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:11,899 [ high-pitched ] yes, mother. 354 00:19:11,967 --> 00:19:15,486 It's just a spider. 355 00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:18,739 A really big, disgusting spider. 356 00:19:18,807 --> 00:19:20,024 [ whimpering ] 357 00:19:22,694 --> 00:19:24,445 [ dial tone ] 358 00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,164 [ dialing ] 359 00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:28,616 Hi. It's April. Leave me a message. 360 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:31,335 This isn't happening. This isn't happening! 361 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,004 [ panting, muttering ] 362 00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:35,339 Oh, it's sick! 363 00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:38,092 Sick! 364 00:19:38,159 --> 00:19:39,994 Oh! Oh! 365 00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:41,712 [ panting ] 366 00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,349 Oh! 367 00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:55,860 Ow! Oh! 368 00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:57,528 Ow! Ow! Ooh! 369 00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,197 [ dog barks ] 370 00:20:04,236 --> 00:20:05,453 [ gasps ] 371 00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:26,540 Hey, dad! Can I have this cake for breakfast? 372 00:20:26,592 --> 00:20:29,894 [ deep voice ] uh, yeah. Whatever. Go for it. 373 00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:34,899 Booger, what the hell are you doing 374 00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:37,401 Eating my boss's cake? 375 00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:42,773 I-I thought you just said I could eat it. 376 00:20:45,944 --> 00:20:49,080 [ snorts ] [ car alarm beeping ] 377 00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:51,249 [ beeping stops ] 378 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:54,368 [ b.T. Express' "do it ('til you're satisfied)" plays ] 379 00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:55,920 Ooh-ah. 380 00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:57,421 God... 381 00:21:01,376 --> 00:21:03,261 Where's my...?! 382 00:21:03,328 --> 00:21:05,379 [ bell rings ] 383 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:08,766 [ cellular phone ringing ] 384 00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:10,434 Hello? 385 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,887 [ deep voice ] April, it's me -- jessica. 386 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,922 I need you to meet me right after class out by the track. 387 00:21:14,973 --> 00:21:17,191 Is this really jessica? 388 00:21:17,258 --> 00:21:18,276 Yes! 389 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,611 Oh, my god, are you getting a cold? 390 00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,947 The competition's only a week away. 391 00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:25,032 We may have bigger problems. 392 00:21:34,576 --> 00:21:36,377 Jessica: [ high-pitched ] April... 393 00:21:40,115 --> 00:21:42,416 April... 394 00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:44,635 [ deep, gruff voice ] April! 395 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,804 Agh! 396 00:21:46,888 --> 00:21:48,172 Ah! 397 00:21:48,256 --> 00:21:49,623 Whoa! [ gasps ] 398 00:21:51,176 --> 00:21:52,259 Ugh! 399 00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:53,961 You stay away from me! 400 00:21:54,012 --> 00:21:56,397 I have pepper spray on my key chain! 401 00:21:59,685 --> 00:22:04,021 [ high-pitched ] April, I need you so bad right now. 402 00:22:04,106 --> 00:22:05,472 You have no idea. 403 00:22:05,524 --> 00:22:07,158 How do you know my name? 404 00:22:09,611 --> 00:22:12,646 It's me... 405 00:22:12,698 --> 00:22:14,498 Jessica! 406 00:22:18,203 --> 00:22:20,654 [ crying ] I'm in here. 407 00:22:20,706 --> 00:22:23,323 [ whining ] 408 00:22:23,375 --> 00:22:25,009 What did you do with her? 409 00:22:26,511 --> 00:22:29,213 I don't know what happened. 410 00:22:29,297 --> 00:22:32,332 [ breathing heavily ] I woke up this morning... 411 00:22:32,384 --> 00:22:35,102 Like this. 412 00:22:35,170 --> 00:22:36,336 Aah! 413 00:22:36,388 --> 00:22:38,139 [ gasping ] 414 00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,841 And what did I tell you about these things?! Aah! Aah! 415 00:22:40,892 --> 00:22:43,060 They go straight to your ass! 416 00:22:43,145 --> 00:22:44,795 People are gonna be looking for me! 417 00:22:44,863 --> 00:22:46,731 You gotta believe me! I'm warning you! 418 00:22:46,815 --> 00:22:49,033 Please, I'm jessica! Aah! 419 00:22:49,117 --> 00:22:51,235 Aah! Aaah! Aaaaaaah! 420 00:22:51,319 --> 00:22:53,788 Agh! Agh! Ohh! 421 00:22:53,855 --> 00:22:56,240 Aaah! Oh! Oh! Oh! 422 00:22:56,324 --> 00:22:58,876 Ugh! Ohh! 423 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:00,828 [ breathing heavily ] 424 00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:02,747 [ groaning ] 425 00:23:10,472 --> 00:23:12,223 Aah! Ohh! 426 00:23:12,307 --> 00:23:15,092 Ugh! Oh! Aah! 427 00:23:15,177 --> 00:23:17,428 Aah! Agh! Oh! Ugh! 428 00:23:17,512 --> 00:23:18,896 Agh! Ohh! 429 00:23:28,523 --> 00:23:30,324 [ crying ] oh, my god! 430 00:23:33,044 --> 00:23:35,395 I think I broke a rib! 431 00:23:35,447 --> 00:23:38,916 My eyes burn! 432 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,569 I can't breathe! 433 00:23:44,289 --> 00:23:48,542 This morning, I woke up a man! 434 00:23:48,593 --> 00:23:53,580 This is by far the worst day of my life! 435 00:23:53,632 --> 00:23:54,682 [ panting ] 436 00:23:55,917 --> 00:23:59,570 April! 437 00:23:59,638 --> 00:24:03,023 Do you remember in second grade 438 00:24:03,091 --> 00:24:06,593 [ sniffles ] when you moved here from arkansas? 439 00:24:06,645 --> 00:24:10,314 Everybody threw rocks at you... 440 00:24:10,382 --> 00:24:12,650 Because you talked funny 441 00:24:12,734 --> 00:24:15,936 And your front two teeth were brown! 442 00:24:15,987 --> 00:24:17,404 [ gasps ] 443 00:24:22,377 --> 00:24:25,779 I was your only friend. 444 00:24:31,086 --> 00:24:34,722 I gave you that locket around your neck 445 00:24:34,789 --> 00:24:37,725 When your grandmother was sick. 446 00:24:37,792 --> 00:24:40,794 And you said... 447 00:24:40,846 --> 00:24:42,596 You said... 448 00:24:46,351 --> 00:24:49,270 We'd be bestest friends forever. 449 00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:51,856 [ coughs, sniffles ] 450 00:24:54,075 --> 00:24:56,476 [ gasps ] 451 00:25:02,584 --> 00:25:04,869 Boys are cheats and liars. 452 00:25:04,953 --> 00:25:07,755 They're such a big disgrace. 453 00:25:07,822 --> 00:25:11,592 Together: They will tell you anything to get to second... 454 00:25:11,659 --> 00:25:16,514 Baseball, baseball, he thinks he's gonna score. 455 00:25:16,598 --> 00:25:20,667 If you let him go all the way, then you are a... 456 00:25:20,719 --> 00:25:22,853 Hor...Ticulture studies flowers. 457 00:25:22,938 --> 00:25:25,222 Geologist studies rocks. 458 00:25:25,307 --> 00:25:27,191 The only thing a guy wants from you 459 00:25:27,275 --> 00:25:28,442 Is place to put his... 460 00:25:28,509 --> 00:25:30,144 Cock...Roaches, beetles, 461 00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:31,946 Butterflies, and bugs. 462 00:25:32,013 --> 00:25:34,565 Nothing makes him happier than a giant pair of... 463 00:25:34,649 --> 00:25:37,735 Jug...Glers and acrobats, a dancing bear named chuck. 464 00:25:37,819 --> 00:25:41,822 All guys really want to do is -- forget it, no such luck. 465 00:25:43,792 --> 00:25:46,377 [ gasps ] 466 00:25:46,444 --> 00:25:48,078 Oh, my god! 467 00:25:48,163 --> 00:25:50,864 Oh, my god! 468 00:25:50,916 --> 00:25:52,416 [ gasps ] 469 00:25:55,170 --> 00:25:56,887 How did this happen? 470 00:25:56,955 --> 00:25:58,538 [ whines ] 471 00:25:58,590 --> 00:26:00,808 I don't know what to do. 472 00:26:00,875 --> 00:26:02,326 Okay, okay. 473 00:26:02,394 --> 00:26:04,178 [ bell rings ] 474 00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:05,646 [ sighs ] 475 00:26:05,713 --> 00:26:07,047 Here. 476 00:26:07,098 --> 00:26:09,016 Go to my house and wait for me in my room. 477 00:26:09,067 --> 00:26:12,987 Don't worry. We're gonna figure this thing out. 478 00:26:13,054 --> 00:26:14,721 Here. 479 00:26:14,773 --> 00:26:16,774 [ groans softly ] 480 00:26:21,079 --> 00:26:24,748 You are my bestest, bestest friend. 481 00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:26,367 [ sniffles ] 482 00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:27,618 Ow! Ow! 483 00:26:27,702 --> 00:26:28,786 Ow. 484 00:26:28,870 --> 00:26:31,088 Watch the beard. 485 00:26:31,172 --> 00:26:33,173 Sorry. 486 00:26:33,241 --> 00:26:36,594 [ roxy saint's "firecracker" plays ] 487 00:26:38,046 --> 00:26:39,430 Oh! 488 00:26:43,535 --> 00:26:44,852 ♪ so, come on, baby, listen ♪ 489 00:26:44,919 --> 00:26:46,053 ♪ with 20/20 vision ♪ 490 00:26:46,104 --> 00:26:47,254 ♪ I knock out competition ♪ 491 00:26:51,893 --> 00:26:53,227 Hi. 492 00:26:53,278 --> 00:26:54,778 [ coughs ] 493 00:26:54,863 --> 00:26:57,264 Okay, so, listen, she bought it. 494 00:26:57,315 --> 00:27:00,401 I told your mom that you're going on that ski trip with billy's family, 495 00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:02,436 And that'll at least buy us the weekend. 496 00:27:02,487 --> 00:27:04,488 You think I'll be stuck like this all weekend?! 497 00:27:05,707 --> 00:27:08,208 [ cries ] 498 00:27:16,001 --> 00:27:17,267 [ buzzes ] 499 00:27:17,335 --> 00:27:18,302 Ow! 500 00:27:18,386 --> 00:27:21,088 Aah! 501 00:27:21,139 --> 00:27:24,141 [ grunting ] 502 00:27:24,225 --> 00:27:25,225 Oh! 503 00:27:25,293 --> 00:27:26,293 Gross. 504 00:27:26,344 --> 00:27:27,645 [ buzzing ] 505 00:27:27,712 --> 00:27:30,097 Agh! 506 00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:32,066 I've got hair everywhere -- 507 00:27:32,133 --> 00:27:35,686 In my nose, in my ears, on my chin. 508 00:27:35,770 --> 00:27:37,571 I'm afraid to look anywhere else. 509 00:27:37,638 --> 00:27:39,106 [ shudders ] 510 00:27:39,157 --> 00:27:40,908 It's like I'm an ad for hair. 511 00:27:40,975 --> 00:27:44,144 Okay, well, listen, maybe this will help. 512 00:27:44,195 --> 00:27:47,164 Okay. 513 00:27:47,248 --> 00:27:50,250 Ahh... 514 00:27:50,318 --> 00:27:52,286 Yeah. 515 00:27:52,337 --> 00:27:54,638 Okay. Against the grain. 516 00:27:54,706 --> 00:27:55,839 Okay, ready? Mm-hmm. 517 00:27:55,924 --> 00:27:57,591 Hold still. 518 00:27:57,658 --> 00:27:58,676 [ rip ] aaah! 519 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:02,129 Grrrah! Agh! 520 00:28:04,432 --> 00:28:05,716 Ow. 521 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,001 Uh... 522 00:28:08,053 --> 00:28:10,137 Ow. 523 00:28:10,188 --> 00:28:11,939 So... 524 00:28:12,006 --> 00:28:13,340 [ grunts ] 525 00:28:15,510 --> 00:28:18,178 So, uh... 526 00:28:20,565 --> 00:28:21,865 What? 527 00:28:21,950 --> 00:28:24,735 Do you really have a penis? 528 00:28:26,638 --> 00:28:27,988 April! 529 00:28:28,039 --> 00:28:30,324 Can I see it? 530 00:28:30,375 --> 00:28:32,292 What is the matter with you?! 531 00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:35,629 I don't think you get the gravity of the situation here. 532 00:28:35,696 --> 00:28:38,716 You're right. You're right. I'm sorry. 533 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:39,917 I'm sorry. 534 00:28:41,219 --> 00:28:42,369 Can I see it? 535 00:28:42,420 --> 00:28:44,871 W-- what is your problem? 536 00:28:44,923 --> 00:28:46,423 What? 537 00:28:46,508 --> 00:28:48,708 It's not every day that your best friend grows a penis. 538 00:28:49,894 --> 00:28:51,061 Do you want to see it? 539 00:28:52,814 --> 00:28:54,848 Okay, fine -- 540 00:28:54,899 --> 00:28:57,317 If it'll shut you up. 541 00:29:05,660 --> 00:29:07,411 [ laughs ] 542 00:29:07,495 --> 00:29:09,029 [ mutters ] 543 00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:10,914 Nice. 544 00:29:10,999 --> 00:29:13,450 Nice. 545 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,337 I mean, you know... 546 00:29:17,405 --> 00:29:21,091 I've only seen a couple, but that's definitely top 5. 547 00:29:21,176 --> 00:29:23,243 How many have you seen? 548 00:29:23,294 --> 00:29:24,678 Five. 549 00:29:24,745 --> 00:29:26,630 Not including my little brother's. 550 00:29:26,714 --> 00:29:27,631 [ laughs ] 551 00:29:27,715 --> 00:29:30,217 You little tramp! 552 00:29:30,268 --> 00:29:31,051 Aah! 553 00:29:31,102 --> 00:29:33,053 [ laughing ] aah! Aah! 554 00:29:33,104 --> 00:29:34,471 Aah! 555 00:29:35,523 --> 00:29:36,590 Aaah! 556 00:29:36,641 --> 00:29:38,108 Aah! Aah! 557 00:29:38,193 --> 00:29:39,393 Oh! Oh! Oh! 558 00:29:39,444 --> 00:29:43,230 Oh, motherfuck! Oh! 559 00:29:45,233 --> 00:29:46,717 Stan... 560 00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:49,036 I am beginning to worry about April. 561 00:29:49,103 --> 00:29:51,288 She has been acting rather strange. 562 00:29:51,372 --> 00:29:53,407 Is it drugs? No, no. 563 00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:57,077 I...I think it's her hormonal development. 564 00:29:57,128 --> 00:30:00,164 She just ate six peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches 565 00:30:00,248 --> 00:30:02,466 And an entire carton of ice cream. 566 00:30:05,303 --> 00:30:07,304 And what do you make of this, hmm? 567 00:30:07,388 --> 00:30:09,122 It's April's soap. 568 00:30:09,174 --> 00:30:10,808 Well? 569 00:30:10,892 --> 00:30:12,459 What do you think? 570 00:30:12,510 --> 00:30:16,063 I think you need more things to fill out your day. 571 00:30:18,516 --> 00:30:20,150 Okay? 572 00:30:20,235 --> 00:30:21,435 Are we done? 573 00:30:25,824 --> 00:30:26,857 [ laughs ] 574 00:30:26,941 --> 00:30:30,110 [ cellular phone rings ] 575 00:30:30,161 --> 00:30:31,245 [ beep ] 576 00:30:31,312 --> 00:30:32,362 Hello? 577 00:30:32,447 --> 00:30:34,765 [ jessica crying in deep voice ] 578 00:30:34,833 --> 00:30:36,450 All right, who is this? 579 00:30:38,369 --> 00:30:41,821 I should have made love to you when I had the chance. 580 00:30:41,873 --> 00:30:43,207 Ohhh... 581 00:30:45,410 --> 00:30:47,261 Father mulcahy? 582 00:30:48,463 --> 00:30:50,614 [ beep ] 583 00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:53,667 [ children shouting playfully ] 584 00:30:58,005 --> 00:30:59,306 [ gasps ] 585 00:30:59,357 --> 00:31:01,525 [ high-pitched ] tell me I'm beautiful. 586 00:31:03,311 --> 00:31:05,696 On the inside. 587 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,284 Look, uh... 588 00:31:10,351 --> 00:31:12,736 Jessica has a problem. 589 00:31:12,820 --> 00:31:15,205 She's only gonna make us wait an hour this time? 590 00:31:15,290 --> 00:31:17,708 What about the class trip to six flags? 591 00:31:17,792 --> 00:31:20,077 She took so long in the bathroom, we all missed the bus. 592 00:31:20,161 --> 00:31:22,880 Our parents had to drive three hours to pick us up. 593 00:31:22,964 --> 00:31:26,032 I had my period, okay?! 594 00:31:32,090 --> 00:31:33,757 [ gasps ] [ gasps ] [ gasps ] 595 00:31:33,841 --> 00:31:35,875 [ laughing ] [ laughing ] [ laughing ] 596 00:31:39,731 --> 00:31:42,015 Okay, now that everybody's up to speed, 597 00:31:42,066 --> 00:31:44,518 Can we start thinking about how I can get my life back? 598 00:31:44,569 --> 00:31:47,404 Um, that's definitely gonna cost you a few votes for prom queen. 599 00:31:47,488 --> 00:31:48,438 Yeah. 600 00:31:48,523 --> 00:31:49,723 [ laughter ] 601 00:31:51,192 --> 00:31:52,726 Okay. 602 00:31:52,777 --> 00:31:54,945 Come on, you guys, let's get serious. Stop dicking around. 603 00:31:55,029 --> 00:31:56,747 [ laughter ] 604 00:31:56,831 --> 00:31:59,116 Guys! 605 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:02,502 I've got cheerleading competition, the prom. 606 00:32:02,570 --> 00:32:05,422 None of my clothes fit. I think I'm going bald. 607 00:32:05,490 --> 00:32:07,424 And how am I gonna go to school? 608 00:32:07,508 --> 00:32:09,209 She's right. 609 00:32:09,260 --> 00:32:10,460 Okay... 610 00:32:10,545 --> 00:32:12,262 Let's think. 611 00:32:12,347 --> 00:32:14,765 What could have caused this? 612 00:32:20,638 --> 00:32:23,390 [ gasps ] maybe it wasn't an accident. 613 00:32:26,194 --> 00:32:28,395 It's gotta be one of the people who hates jessica that did this. 614 00:32:28,446 --> 00:32:29,529 Yeah. 615 00:32:29,597 --> 00:32:30,530 What are you talking about? 616 00:32:31,649 --> 00:32:33,099 People don't hate me. 617 00:32:37,038 --> 00:32:38,789 [ exhales deeply ] 618 00:32:38,873 --> 00:32:40,874 You see, jess... 619 00:32:40,941 --> 00:32:44,211 Because you are so beautiful and perfect... 620 00:32:44,278 --> 00:32:45,879 Uh-huh? 621 00:32:45,946 --> 00:32:47,881 ...Certain people might misconstrue 622 00:32:47,948 --> 00:32:51,218 Some of the mean and hurtful things you say and do to them. 623 00:32:51,285 --> 00:32:54,087 Although the things you say are funny... 624 00:32:54,138 --> 00:32:55,339 [ laughs ] 625 00:32:55,423 --> 00:32:57,457 ...People tend to focus more 626 00:32:57,508 --> 00:33:00,427 On their own public humiliation and shame. 627 00:33:00,478 --> 00:33:02,813 So you're saying... 628 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:04,765 People think... 629 00:33:04,816 --> 00:33:05,816 I'm perfect? 630 00:33:07,935 --> 00:33:10,604 Let's make a list of all the people who hate jessica. 631 00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:12,923 You know what would be a shorter list? 632 00:33:12,991 --> 00:33:15,475 All the people who don't hate jessica. 633 00:33:15,526 --> 00:33:16,360 [ laughter ] 634 00:33:16,444 --> 00:33:17,444 You bitch! 635 00:33:19,330 --> 00:33:22,666 [ all screaming and laughing ] 636 00:33:25,986 --> 00:33:28,088 [ screaming and laughter continue in distance ] 637 00:33:30,291 --> 00:33:33,210 Easy on the coffee. 638 00:33:33,294 --> 00:33:36,797 [ all laughing ] 639 00:33:36,848 --> 00:33:38,215 Ha ha ha ha! 640 00:33:38,299 --> 00:33:39,349 Ho ho ho! 641 00:33:40,435 --> 00:33:42,102 Ugh! Ohh! 642 00:33:42,169 --> 00:33:43,720 [ chuckles ] 643 00:33:43,805 --> 00:33:44,438 Ugh! 644 00:33:44,505 --> 00:33:45,672 [ gasps ] 645 00:33:45,723 --> 00:33:47,140 Ugh! Aah! 646 00:33:47,191 --> 00:33:48,141 Ha ha ha! 647 00:33:48,693 --> 00:33:50,176 Aah! 648 00:33:50,228 --> 00:33:51,478 Ha ha ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! 649 00:33:51,529 --> 00:33:52,129 [ gasps ] 650 00:33:53,781 --> 00:33:56,066 Ugh! Agh! 651 00:33:56,150 --> 00:33:58,485 [ laughing ] 652 00:34:03,958 --> 00:34:04,908 [ gulps ] 653 00:34:22,093 --> 00:34:23,760 Huh? 654 00:34:23,845 --> 00:34:25,062 Oh, hi. 655 00:34:25,146 --> 00:34:26,596 Good morning. 656 00:34:26,681 --> 00:34:27,814 [ groans ] 657 00:34:27,882 --> 00:34:29,816 Did you sleep well? 658 00:34:29,884 --> 00:34:32,736 Mmm. Surprisingly, yes. 659 00:34:35,006 --> 00:34:37,074 You have any... 660 00:34:37,158 --> 00:34:39,058 Special dreams? 661 00:34:40,445 --> 00:34:42,195 Not particularly. 662 00:34:42,246 --> 00:34:43,780 Hmm. 663 00:34:43,865 --> 00:34:44,898 You sure? 664 00:34:44,949 --> 00:34:47,417 Why? 665 00:34:52,623 --> 00:34:54,508 Oh, my god, my first boner! 666 00:34:54,575 --> 00:34:55,575 [ giggles ] 667 00:34:57,428 --> 00:34:59,796 [ brakes squeal ] 668 00:35:05,553 --> 00:35:07,086 Richie: There you are! Ah! 669 00:35:07,138 --> 00:35:08,421 You're the gardener from the service, right? 670 00:35:10,090 --> 00:35:11,558 [ mexican accent ] sí. 671 00:35:11,609 --> 00:35:13,860 Damn lawn's a mess. 672 00:35:13,928 --> 00:35:16,095 It's my daughter's responsibility to look after it, 673 00:35:16,147 --> 00:35:17,280 But you know teenage girls. 674 00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:18,648 Sí, sí. 675 00:35:18,733 --> 00:35:20,617 "teenageros." 676 00:35:20,701 --> 00:35:23,236 Sorry. Richie spencer. 677 00:35:23,287 --> 00:35:26,957 Ah, um... 678 00:35:27,041 --> 00:35:28,258 Taquito. 679 00:35:28,326 --> 00:35:30,160 Oh, taquito. 680 00:35:30,244 --> 00:35:32,078 There's the mower. 681 00:35:32,130 --> 00:35:34,297 There's your bag of fertilizer. 682 00:35:34,382 --> 00:35:36,216 Oh, ho! [ gasping ] I'll let you get to it. 683 00:35:36,283 --> 00:35:38,117 [ salsa music plays ] 684 00:35:52,433 --> 00:35:55,819 Damn, I love the smell of fresh-cut grass. 685 00:35:58,689 --> 00:36:00,907 [ air hisses ] 686 00:36:00,975 --> 00:36:04,143 Gracias, but...I'm not sure I'm old enough, señor. 687 00:36:04,195 --> 00:36:05,729 [ laughing ] yeah, right. 688 00:36:05,796 --> 00:36:08,532 What is the drinking age in mexico -- 40? 689 00:36:08,616 --> 00:36:11,201 Come on, take a load off. You can finish in a minute. 690 00:36:13,921 --> 00:36:15,172 [ sighs ] 691 00:36:15,256 --> 00:36:17,007 Hope you don't mind the light beer. 692 00:36:17,091 --> 00:36:18,675 I had to cut back on account of the bloating. 693 00:36:18,759 --> 00:36:20,594 Know what I mean? 694 00:36:20,661 --> 00:36:22,796 I also had to give up the spicy food on account of my asshole. 695 00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:23,797 [ farts ] 696 00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:25,164 Ah! 697 00:36:25,216 --> 00:36:27,667 We're amongst men, aren't we? 698 00:36:27,718 --> 00:36:29,669 [ breathes deeply ] 699 00:36:29,720 --> 00:36:31,838 "stinko de mayo." 700 00:36:31,889 --> 00:36:32,856 You like that car? 701 00:36:32,940 --> 00:36:34,391 That's my daughter's. 702 00:36:34,475 --> 00:36:35,809 Pretty nice, huh? 703 00:36:35,860 --> 00:36:37,594 It would have looked even better in red. 704 00:36:37,662 --> 00:36:40,063 That's what my daughter said. 705 00:36:41,949 --> 00:36:44,234 We used to go out back on sundays and toss a few baskets, 706 00:36:44,318 --> 00:36:45,735 Shoot the shit. 707 00:36:45,820 --> 00:36:47,787 But she's got her own stuff going on now. 708 00:36:47,855 --> 00:36:50,123 Who could blame her? Whole family's falling apart. 709 00:36:50,190 --> 00:36:52,409 What? 710 00:36:52,493 --> 00:36:54,911 Things with the wife -- forget about it. 711 00:36:54,996 --> 00:36:57,130 I mean, we sleep in the same bed. 712 00:36:57,197 --> 00:36:59,115 Might as well be separate countries. 713 00:36:59,166 --> 00:37:02,669 That is, like, so sad. 714 00:37:04,038 --> 00:37:05,839 Ay-yi-yi! 715 00:37:05,923 --> 00:37:08,124 Ay-yi...Yi. 716 00:37:08,175 --> 00:37:11,294 I tried everything. Nothing worked. 717 00:37:11,345 --> 00:37:13,713 I even got out the razor and gave myself a porn-star trim. 718 00:37:13,798 --> 00:37:15,765 Wanna see? Check it out. 719 00:37:15,833 --> 00:37:17,017 Aah! 720 00:37:18,469 --> 00:37:20,804 Boy, she used to be wild. 721 00:37:20,855 --> 00:37:22,806 The sex was great. 722 00:37:22,857 --> 00:37:25,025 We'd be going at it, and she could still find a way 723 00:37:25,109 --> 00:37:26,726 To twist around and kiss me on the mouth. 724 00:37:26,811 --> 00:37:29,863 Señor, information too mucho. 725 00:37:29,947 --> 00:37:32,649 Emotional "scarro" -- disgusting. 726 00:37:32,700 --> 00:37:34,150 It's good talking to you, taquito. 727 00:37:34,201 --> 00:37:35,986 Oh! 728 00:37:36,037 --> 00:37:40,356 [ introduction to jimmy eat world's "authority song" plays ] 729 00:37:40,408 --> 00:37:42,358 ♪ it's how the hustle goes ♪ 730 00:37:42,410 --> 00:37:45,078 ♪ see what the jukebox knows ♪ 731 00:37:47,715 --> 00:37:50,033 ♪ put my last quarter on ♪ 732 00:37:50,084 --> 00:37:52,385 ♪ I play "authority song" ♪ 733 00:37:56,140 --> 00:37:59,208 ♪ honesty or mystery? ♪ 734 00:37:59,260 --> 00:38:01,878 ♪ tell me, I'm not scared anymore ♪ 735 00:38:01,929 --> 00:38:03,647 ♪ aha, aha ♪ 736 00:38:03,714 --> 00:38:05,599 ♪ I got no secret purpose ♪ 737 00:38:05,683 --> 00:38:07,067 ♪ I don't seem obvious, do I? ♪ 738 00:38:07,151 --> 00:38:09,486 Hey, jessica! Jessica! 739 00:38:09,553 --> 00:38:10,820 Come here! 740 00:38:10,888 --> 00:38:12,188 [ panting ] 741 00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:14,407 We've got a suspect. 742 00:38:14,492 --> 00:38:16,076 Oh, yes! 743 00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:17,661 Come on. 744 00:38:20,397 --> 00:38:22,899 Something smells like dog pooh. 745 00:38:22,950 --> 00:38:25,452 I think I'm sitting next to it. 746 00:38:25,536 --> 00:38:28,371 Ew! [ laughter ] 747 00:38:28,422 --> 00:38:30,907 April: Come on, hildenburg, don't play dumb. 748 00:38:30,958 --> 00:38:33,927 You hate jessica, you're good at this science crap. 749 00:38:34,011 --> 00:38:36,212 Now, just confess and give us the antidote. 750 00:38:36,263 --> 00:38:38,048 April, it's physically impossible 751 00:38:38,099 --> 00:38:40,367 For a woman to transform into a man overnight. 752 00:38:40,434 --> 00:38:43,753 So you're saying that you had nothing to do with this. 753 00:38:43,804 --> 00:38:45,572 Look... 754 00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,642 Let's just pretend this was an alternate universe 755 00:38:48,726 --> 00:38:51,277 Where I actually believed you. 756 00:38:51,362 --> 00:38:54,263 Why would I want to help jessica out, anyway? 757 00:38:55,616 --> 00:38:57,450 [ scoffs, sniffs ] 758 00:38:57,535 --> 00:38:58,768 Jessica! 759 00:38:58,819 --> 00:39:00,654 [ sighs ] 760 00:39:05,275 --> 00:39:06,710 Hildenburg... [ sighs ] 761 00:39:08,946 --> 00:39:11,447 I'm sorry that I humiliated you 762 00:39:11,499 --> 00:39:14,050 In front of the entire school... 763 00:39:14,118 --> 00:39:16,302 And the visiting 8th-graders. 764 00:39:18,455 --> 00:39:23,643 [ voice breaking ] but you have no idea what it's like 765 00:39:23,728 --> 00:39:28,765 To wake up every morning and have to shave your chin. 766 00:39:28,816 --> 00:39:30,100 [ sniffles ] 767 00:39:30,151 --> 00:39:31,634 [ snorting ] 768 00:39:33,971 --> 00:39:36,656 [ exhales sharply ] 769 00:39:36,741 --> 00:39:38,474 [ voice breaking ] yes, I do. 770 00:39:40,077 --> 00:39:42,529 [ sobs ] 771 00:39:45,116 --> 00:39:46,282 [ sighs deeply ] 772 00:39:46,333 --> 00:39:48,501 Who's next on the list? 773 00:39:48,586 --> 00:39:50,170 [ laughs ] whoa. 774 00:39:50,254 --> 00:39:53,339 Well, it is cold in here. 775 00:39:53,424 --> 00:39:54,908 [ laughs ] 776 00:39:54,975 --> 00:39:56,509 So you never put a hex on me? 777 00:39:56,594 --> 00:39:58,428 Oh, I put plenty of hexes on you -- 778 00:39:58,495 --> 00:40:01,548 To give you dandruff, make your hair fall out, 779 00:40:01,632 --> 00:40:04,267 Make one of your boobs bigger than the other. 780 00:40:04,334 --> 00:40:06,553 [ laughing ] oh, I think you got me with that one. 781 00:40:06,637 --> 00:40:08,722 Heh hee hee! Ah hee hee! 782 00:40:10,558 --> 00:40:12,842 [ light laughter ] 783 00:40:12,893 --> 00:40:16,896 There's some powerful cult magic at work here... 784 00:40:16,981 --> 00:40:18,815 Like an ancient spell... 785 00:40:18,866 --> 00:40:20,400 Or voodoo... 786 00:40:20,484 --> 00:40:22,869 Or santeria. 787 00:40:22,953 --> 00:40:24,954 What's santeria? 788 00:40:25,022 --> 00:40:27,457 It's a latin-based form of witchcraft. 789 00:40:27,524 --> 00:40:29,209 It originated in africa 790 00:40:29,293 --> 00:40:32,445 And then eventually made its way to cuba and brazil. 791 00:40:32,513 --> 00:40:34,047 Bianca! 792 00:40:34,131 --> 00:40:35,465 I knew it. 793 00:40:35,532 --> 00:40:36,750 Most of its rituals involve a chicken. 794 00:40:36,834 --> 00:40:39,035 That sounds delicious. 795 00:40:40,471 --> 00:40:42,639 I mean, interesting. 796 00:40:42,706 --> 00:40:44,207 Eden: There's a way to tell. 797 00:40:44,258 --> 00:40:46,375 A true practitioner of santeria 798 00:40:46,427 --> 00:40:50,046 Bears the mark of the scorpion tattooed on their back. 799 00:40:50,097 --> 00:40:51,765 Bianca's always hanging out 800 00:40:51,849 --> 00:40:54,050 At that dance club -- instant tang. 801 00:40:54,101 --> 00:40:56,686 Yeah, tonight's ladies' night, and we all get in for free! 802 00:40:56,737 --> 00:41:00,223 [ all cheering ] 803 00:41:00,274 --> 00:41:02,575 [ cheering stops ] 804 00:41:02,660 --> 00:41:05,245 Well, most of us. 805 00:41:05,329 --> 00:41:07,247 Trust me -- 806 00:41:07,331 --> 00:41:10,116 You'll never get bianca to dance with you looking like this. 807 00:41:10,201 --> 00:41:13,920 ♪ oh, yeah, you're pretty good-looking for a girl ♪ 808 00:41:14,004 --> 00:41:16,756 [ girls gasping ] ♪ but your back is so broken ♪ 809 00:41:16,841 --> 00:41:20,126 ♪ and this feeling's still gonna linger on ♪ 810 00:41:20,211 --> 00:41:22,411 No... No... 811 00:41:22,463 --> 00:41:26,766 [ girls gasping ] ♪ until the year 2525 now ♪ 812 00:41:26,851 --> 00:41:30,470 No. Mnh-mnh. ♪ yeah, you're pretty good-looking for a girl ♪ 813 00:41:30,554 --> 00:41:32,255 [ gasps ] ♪ your eyes are wide open ♪ 814 00:41:32,306 --> 00:41:34,924 Ugh! What is that? 815 00:41:34,975 --> 00:41:37,426 ♪ and your thoughts have been stolen by the boys ♪ 816 00:41:37,478 --> 00:41:39,529 No... No... No... 817 00:41:39,596 --> 00:41:42,282 ♪ who took you out and bought you everything you want, now ♪ 818 00:41:42,366 --> 00:41:45,869 ♪ yeah, you're pretty good-looking, oh, yeah ♪ 819 00:41:45,936 --> 00:41:47,603 [ girls screaming ] 820 00:41:47,655 --> 00:41:51,324 ♪ you're pretty good-looking, oh, yeah ♪ 821 00:41:51,408 --> 00:41:53,326 ♪ for a girl ♪ 822 00:42:00,784 --> 00:42:02,085 What? 823 00:42:02,136 --> 00:42:04,921 Nothing. [ giggles ] 824 00:42:04,972 --> 00:42:06,622 You just look good. 825 00:42:06,674 --> 00:42:08,124 [ chuckles ] 826 00:42:08,175 --> 00:42:09,125 Really? 827 00:42:09,176 --> 00:42:10,793 Yeah. 828 00:42:10,845 --> 00:42:12,312 [ both giggle ] 829 00:42:12,396 --> 00:42:14,397 Okay. Thanks. 830 00:42:14,464 --> 00:42:16,432 [ laughs ] 831 00:42:16,483 --> 00:42:19,102 No, she's not gonna... No, he -- she's not gonna do it. 832 00:42:21,689 --> 00:42:22,939 Yes, she is. 833 00:42:22,990 --> 00:42:24,741 Mmm... 834 00:42:24,808 --> 00:42:26,576 Mmm, mmm... 835 00:42:26,643 --> 00:42:27,810 [ smacks lips ] 836 00:42:27,862 --> 00:42:29,078 Mmm... 837 00:42:29,146 --> 00:42:30,947 [ slurping ] 838 00:42:30,998 --> 00:42:32,315 Wow! 839 00:42:32,366 --> 00:42:34,334 That is so good. 840 00:42:35,502 --> 00:42:37,003 T-that's $8.95. 841 00:42:39,823 --> 00:42:40,673 What? 842 00:42:42,343 --> 00:42:44,594 Aren't you just gonna take it out of your tip jar? 843 00:42:44,661 --> 00:42:46,012 Aah! 844 00:42:46,096 --> 00:42:48,164 [ choking ] $8.95? Yeah. 845 00:42:48,215 --> 00:42:49,766 I got that. 846 00:42:49,833 --> 00:42:52,135 [ rock music plays, indistinct conversations ] 847 00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:58,674 ♪ when I rock like this ♪ 848 00:42:58,726 --> 00:43:00,526 ♪ rock like this, rock like this ♪ 849 00:43:00,611 --> 00:43:02,645 ♪ when I rock like this ♪ 850 00:43:02,696 --> 00:43:04,347 ♪ when I rock like this, it's rhythm ♪ 851 00:43:04,398 --> 00:43:06,115 ♪ when I rock like this ♪ 852 00:43:06,183 --> 00:43:08,034 ♪ rock like this, rock like this ♪ 853 00:43:08,118 --> 00:43:10,153 ♪ when I rock like this ♪ 854 00:43:10,204 --> 00:43:11,854 ♪ when I rock like this, it's rhythm ♪ 855 00:43:27,388 --> 00:43:29,839 I'll take two banana daiquiris, 856 00:43:29,890 --> 00:43:31,975 One mango, a sloe-gin fizz, 857 00:43:32,042 --> 00:43:33,559 One slippery nipple, 858 00:43:33,644 --> 00:43:35,345 And for me, 859 00:43:35,396 --> 00:43:38,147 A screaming orgasm on the beach with extra sugar on the rim. 860 00:43:38,215 --> 00:43:39,816 Yum! 861 00:43:48,575 --> 00:43:51,861 [ deep voice ] uh...Better make that last one a brewski. 862 00:43:51,912 --> 00:43:53,830 ♪ when I rock like this ♪ 863 00:43:53,897 --> 00:43:55,031 ♪ rock like this ♪ 864 00:43:55,082 --> 00:43:56,416 Double brewski. 865 00:43:56,500 --> 00:43:58,067 [ lyric's "young & sexy" plays ] 866 00:44:01,455 --> 00:44:04,207 ♪ young, sexy ♪ 867 00:44:04,258 --> 00:44:06,259 [ high-pitched ] they didn't even card me. 868 00:44:06,343 --> 00:44:08,211 It's just like cabo. 869 00:44:08,262 --> 00:44:09,796 [ laughter ] 870 00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:11,397 ♪ you know I'll change for you ♪ 871 00:44:11,465 --> 00:44:15,584 ♪ with your black durag ♪ 872 00:44:15,636 --> 00:44:18,354 How does a butt plug like that get all those hot chicks? 873 00:44:18,422 --> 00:44:20,106 I got dibs on the dots. 874 00:44:20,190 --> 00:44:21,474 ♪ ...Got plans for you ♪ 875 00:44:21,558 --> 00:44:23,759 God damn! 876 00:44:23,811 --> 00:44:26,029 Ooh, he's cute. 877 00:44:26,096 --> 00:44:28,815 Check out the sweet buns on that guy. 878 00:44:28,899 --> 00:44:31,818 I'd like to get my hands on those and... 879 00:44:31,902 --> 00:44:34,570 [ deep voice ] wish they were women's breasts 880 00:44:34,621 --> 00:44:37,623 And...Squeeze the hell out of 'em. 881 00:44:37,708 --> 00:44:40,293 Maybe put a steak on 'em... 882 00:44:40,377 --> 00:44:42,778 'cause I'm a guy. 883 00:44:42,830 --> 00:44:45,581 That's what guys like me like to do. 884 00:44:45,632 --> 00:44:48,568 But I don't need to tell you that. 885 00:44:48,635 --> 00:44:51,287 [ inhales sharply ] 886 00:44:54,341 --> 00:44:56,309 Bianca. 887 00:44:56,393 --> 00:44:57,727 ♪ yeah ♪ 888 00:44:57,794 --> 00:44:59,312 ♪ ohh ♪ 889 00:44:59,396 --> 00:45:00,813 I'll show her. 890 00:45:00,898 --> 00:45:02,348 This is my song. 891 00:45:02,433 --> 00:45:03,983 ♪ ohh ♪ 892 00:45:04,068 --> 00:45:07,487 Remember, the scorpion on her back. 893 00:45:07,571 --> 00:45:09,188 I'll find it. 894 00:45:09,273 --> 00:45:12,492 ♪ 24 a day, 7 days a week ♪ 895 00:45:12,576 --> 00:45:14,643 ♪ now, when you're driving in your 4x4 ♪ 896 00:45:14,695 --> 00:45:17,196 ♪ and you turn this up on your stereo ♪ 897 00:45:17,281 --> 00:45:19,665 ♪ whether night or day, nonstop, you'll play ♪ 898 00:45:19,750 --> 00:45:21,817 ♪ and you know you still want more ♪ 899 00:45:21,869 --> 00:45:24,203 ♪ so find a honey that's standing on the wall ♪ 900 00:45:24,288 --> 00:45:26,489 ♪ all the girls get the guys on the floor ♪ 901 00:45:26,540 --> 00:45:28,257 Ah! 902 00:45:28,325 --> 00:45:29,926 ♪ from the front to the back, let's go ♪ 903 00:45:29,993 --> 00:45:30,826 ♪ hear this ♪ 904 00:45:30,878 --> 00:45:32,661 Ew! 905 00:45:32,713 --> 00:45:34,380 ♪ somebody hit the lights ♪ 906 00:45:34,465 --> 00:45:36,382 ♪ so we can rock it day and night ♪ 907 00:45:36,467 --> 00:45:38,101 April: The tattoo! 908 00:45:38,168 --> 00:45:39,635 I don't see it! 909 00:45:39,686 --> 00:45:41,337 ♪ from a.M. To p.M. ♪ 910 00:45:41,388 --> 00:45:43,556 ♪ everybody lookin' like stars ♪ 911 00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:45,775 ♪ all the chicks and the fellas in the bars ♪ 912 00:45:45,842 --> 00:45:47,110 ♪ all of y'all bumpin' this in your cars ♪ 913 00:45:47,177 --> 00:45:48,478 Right hand, red. 914 00:45:48,529 --> 00:45:49,979 Ooh...Left hand, blue. 915 00:45:53,734 --> 00:45:54,450 Ooh! 916 00:45:57,354 --> 00:45:58,371 Huh! Ha! 917 00:46:00,290 --> 00:46:01,357 Aaaaaah! 918 00:46:01,408 --> 00:46:03,276 ♪ yeah ♪ 919 00:46:07,331 --> 00:46:10,750 [ cheers and applause ] 920 00:46:10,834 --> 00:46:12,635 [ introduction to mystikal's "shake it fast" plays ] 921 00:46:12,702 --> 00:46:15,371 [ all cheering ] 922 00:46:15,422 --> 00:46:18,374 ♪ shake it fast, watch yourself ♪ whoa! 923 00:46:18,425 --> 00:46:20,760 ♪ shake it fast, show me what you're working with ♪ whoa! 924 00:46:20,844 --> 00:46:22,979 ♪ shake it fast, watch yourself ♪ 925 00:46:23,046 --> 00:46:25,565 ♪ shake it fast, show me what you're working with ♪ 926 00:46:25,649 --> 00:46:28,317 [ all cheering ] ♪ shake it fast, watch yourself ♪ 927 00:46:28,385 --> 00:46:31,404 Aah! ♪ shake it fast, show me what you're working with ♪ 928 00:46:31,488 --> 00:46:33,689 [ cheers and applause ] 929 00:46:33,740 --> 00:46:37,393 [ laughs ] 930 00:46:37,444 --> 00:46:39,028 It's definitely not her. 931 00:46:39,079 --> 00:46:41,247 Don't worry. We'll figure this out. 932 00:46:41,331 --> 00:46:42,898 You're a great dancer. 933 00:46:42,950 --> 00:46:44,867 You're just noticing that now? 934 00:46:44,918 --> 00:46:46,452 [ laughter ] 935 00:46:46,537 --> 00:46:48,571 I gotta hit the little girls' room 936 00:46:48,622 --> 00:46:50,123 Before I soak my panties. 937 00:46:50,207 --> 00:46:51,491 [ slurping ] 938 00:46:53,093 --> 00:46:55,845 Um... 939 00:46:55,912 --> 00:46:57,513 [ deep voice ] by that, I mean... 940 00:46:57,581 --> 00:47:00,583 My girlfriend's panties... 941 00:47:00,634 --> 00:47:02,468 Which I carry with me... 942 00:47:02,553 --> 00:47:04,270 To pee in... 943 00:47:04,354 --> 00:47:05,938 If I don't make it in time... 944 00:47:06,023 --> 00:47:07,923 To the bathroom. 945 00:47:07,975 --> 00:47:09,525 What? 946 00:47:09,593 --> 00:47:11,927 You don't pee in your girlfriend's panties? 947 00:47:11,979 --> 00:47:14,197 What kind of gay club is this? 948 00:47:14,264 --> 00:47:18,267 Hey, everybody, check out this guy -- 949 00:47:18,318 --> 00:47:21,954 Not peeing in his chick's panties. 950 00:47:34,301 --> 00:47:36,219 [ high-pitched ] excuse me... 951 00:47:36,286 --> 00:47:38,787 Do you have to be in here for this? 952 00:47:38,839 --> 00:47:40,890 Well, it's part of my job description, 953 00:47:40,957 --> 00:47:43,092 But if you're one of those shy guys, 954 00:47:43,143 --> 00:47:44,944 You try that stall there. 955 00:47:45,012 --> 00:47:48,014 [ fart ] 956 00:47:48,098 --> 00:47:51,017 Uh...There's someone in there. 957 00:47:51,101 --> 00:47:53,402 And they're gonna be in there for a long time, too. 958 00:47:53,470 --> 00:47:55,421 I told him to stay away from the calamari. 959 00:47:55,489 --> 00:47:58,274 [ farting continues ] 960 00:47:58,325 --> 00:48:01,577 Some folks think they can eat anything that crawls. 961 00:48:11,438 --> 00:48:12,705 Would you mind? 962 00:48:16,426 --> 00:48:19,178 [ sighs ] 963 00:48:30,607 --> 00:48:31,691 Ooh! Ah! 964 00:48:31,775 --> 00:48:32,858 Ooh, hoo! 965 00:48:34,144 --> 00:48:37,179 [ gasping ] 966 00:48:37,231 --> 00:48:40,316 Excuse me? 967 00:48:40,367 --> 00:48:42,318 Why is there ice in there? 968 00:48:42,369 --> 00:48:44,654 Ooh! I wouldn't have done that. 969 00:48:44,705 --> 00:48:47,856 [ door hinges squeak ] 970 00:48:49,076 --> 00:48:50,192 Oh! 971 00:48:53,797 --> 00:48:55,381 [ urinating ] 972 00:48:58,385 --> 00:49:00,836 You're good at that. 973 00:49:00,887 --> 00:49:03,673 You make it look so easy. 974 00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:14,767 Why don't you just take a picture? 975 00:49:19,906 --> 00:49:22,224 [ sighs ] all right. 976 00:49:22,276 --> 00:49:23,693 Here goes. 977 00:49:23,744 --> 00:49:28,364 Disgusting! Wrinkly! Gross! 978 00:49:28,415 --> 00:49:29,749 Ew! 979 00:49:29,833 --> 00:49:31,400 [ urinating ] oh! 980 00:49:31,451 --> 00:49:34,587 Oh! I've never done this before. 981 00:49:34,671 --> 00:49:36,038 It's going all over. 982 00:49:36,089 --> 00:49:38,407 It's always good to aim at something, 983 00:49:38,458 --> 00:49:41,127 Like that cigarette there... Or the big mint. 984 00:49:41,211 --> 00:49:42,911 It's going everywhere! 985 00:49:42,963 --> 00:49:45,047 You got to hold on to it. 986 00:49:45,098 --> 00:49:48,434 Oh! Not too tight, but enough to let it know you're the boss. 987 00:49:48,518 --> 00:49:50,936 [ breathing heavily ] 988 00:49:51,021 --> 00:49:51,920 Oh! 989 00:49:51,972 --> 00:49:53,756 See that fly? 990 00:49:53,807 --> 00:49:55,474 Aim for it. 991 00:49:55,559 --> 00:49:57,643 That's -- that's helping. 992 00:49:57,728 --> 00:49:58,894 That's it. 993 00:50:00,764 --> 00:50:03,065 Remember, if you shake it more than twice, 994 00:50:03,116 --> 00:50:04,450 You're playing with it. 995 00:50:04,534 --> 00:50:06,035 [ belt buckle jingles ] 996 00:50:15,796 --> 00:50:17,380 [ sighs deeply ] 997 00:50:17,447 --> 00:50:19,699 I don't know how I could ever thank you. 998 00:50:25,389 --> 00:50:28,123 [ dance music plays, indistinct conversations ] 999 00:50:30,444 --> 00:50:32,011 Hi! 1000 00:50:32,095 --> 00:50:33,346 That was an experience. 1001 00:50:33,430 --> 00:50:34,480 Here's your drink. 1002 00:50:34,564 --> 00:50:35,981 Is there any ice in here? 1003 00:50:36,066 --> 00:50:36,982 No. 1004 00:50:37,067 --> 00:50:38,351 Thank god! 1005 00:50:38,435 --> 00:50:40,519 Hey... Aren't you that chick 1006 00:50:40,604 --> 00:50:43,272 Who's having sex with that college guy? 1007 00:50:43,323 --> 00:50:44,407 No! 1008 00:50:44,474 --> 00:50:45,491 Wanna be? 1009 00:50:45,575 --> 00:50:46,692 [ laughter ] 1010 00:50:51,948 --> 00:50:54,533 She's not interested, okay? 1011 00:50:54,618 --> 00:50:56,585 So why don't you just back off? 1012 00:50:57,838 --> 00:50:59,372 Okay, grandpa. 1013 00:50:59,456 --> 00:51:02,475 What are you, their pimp, and these are your skank hoes? 1014 00:51:02,542 --> 00:51:04,543 [ both gasping ] 1015 00:51:10,467 --> 00:51:13,769 You and me, right now -- let's go. 1016 00:51:15,389 --> 00:51:16,639 Where we going? 1017 00:51:16,690 --> 00:51:17,723 [ moans ] 1018 00:51:17,808 --> 00:51:19,341 Aah! No! 1019 00:51:19,393 --> 00:51:21,193 [ indistinct conversations continue, rock music plays ] 1020 00:51:27,284 --> 00:51:28,934 Jess! 1021 00:51:29,002 --> 00:51:31,186 [ knuckles cracking ] 1022 00:51:31,238 --> 00:51:33,372 Come on, jess. Come on! You can do it. 1023 00:51:33,457 --> 00:51:34,957 What do you got, geezer? Come on! 1024 00:51:35,876 --> 00:51:37,626 [ indistinct shouting ] 1025 00:51:37,694 --> 00:51:38,661 You can do it! Come on! 1026 00:51:38,712 --> 00:51:40,045 Show me what you got! 1027 00:51:40,130 --> 00:51:41,714 Come on! 1028 00:51:41,798 --> 00:51:43,031 [ air whistling ] 1029 00:51:45,669 --> 00:51:47,086 What the... 1030 00:51:47,170 --> 00:51:48,203 What's he doing? 1031 00:51:48,255 --> 00:51:49,872 Some kind of tae-queer-do. 1032 00:51:49,923 --> 00:51:51,090 [ girls screaming ] 1033 00:51:51,174 --> 00:51:52,224 That's it! 1034 00:51:52,309 --> 00:51:53,008 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 1035 00:51:53,059 --> 00:51:55,094 No! Aaah! 1036 00:51:55,178 --> 00:51:57,229 Ohh! 1037 00:51:57,314 --> 00:51:58,264 Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! 1038 00:51:58,348 --> 00:51:59,432 Ohh! 1039 00:51:59,516 --> 00:52:01,317 Ohh! 1040 00:52:01,384 --> 00:52:03,519 [ indistinct shouting continues ] 1041 00:52:03,570 --> 00:52:05,104 Aah! 1042 00:52:06,306 --> 00:52:07,890 Ohh! 1043 00:52:07,941 --> 00:52:09,224 Ha ha! 1044 00:52:09,276 --> 00:52:10,392 Yeah! 1045 00:52:12,279 --> 00:52:13,696 Yeah! 1046 00:52:13,747 --> 00:52:15,080 Jess! 1047 00:52:15,165 --> 00:52:16,365 Oh! 1048 00:52:16,416 --> 00:52:17,700 Ooh, yeah! Yeah! Yes! 1049 00:52:17,751 --> 00:52:19,902 [ guys cheering ] 1050 00:52:19,953 --> 00:52:23,405 That really does hurt. 1051 00:52:23,457 --> 00:52:26,258 Thanks for sticking up for me. 1052 00:52:26,343 --> 00:52:28,794 Now go kick some ass. 1053 00:52:28,879 --> 00:52:30,095 [ rock music continues ] 1054 00:52:34,100 --> 00:52:35,885 Aah! Oh! 1055 00:52:35,936 --> 00:52:37,920 [ indistinct shouting continues ] 1056 00:52:37,971 --> 00:52:39,355 Ohhh! 1057 00:52:39,422 --> 00:52:40,773 Ohhh! 1058 00:52:40,857 --> 00:52:41,757 [ rip ] 1059 00:52:41,808 --> 00:52:42,858 Aah! 1060 00:52:45,028 --> 00:52:47,095 Oh! 1061 00:52:47,147 --> 00:52:49,982 You think you're so cool 'cause you can pee with your penis. 1062 00:52:50,066 --> 00:52:51,534 Get a new conditioner. 1063 00:52:51,601 --> 00:52:53,402 Your ends are totally split. 1064 00:52:55,872 --> 00:52:56,789 [ whimpers ] 1065 00:52:56,873 --> 00:53:00,125 [ all laughing ] 1066 00:53:00,210 --> 00:53:01,744 You rock! 1067 00:53:04,414 --> 00:53:06,131 April, I don't know. 1068 00:53:06,216 --> 00:53:08,751 Oh, come on. This is the only way you can be in school. 1069 00:53:08,802 --> 00:53:11,637 [ inhales sharply ] here comes jake. 1070 00:53:11,721 --> 00:53:13,005 Hi! Hey, baby. 1071 00:53:13,089 --> 00:53:14,122 [ giggles ] 1072 00:53:14,174 --> 00:53:15,758 So, skiing sucked. 1073 00:53:15,809 --> 00:53:18,293 I mean, you didn't miss a thing. It was all mushed out. 1074 00:53:18,345 --> 00:53:19,261 Oh... 1075 00:53:19,312 --> 00:53:20,312 [ giggles ] 1076 00:53:20,397 --> 00:53:22,064 What's with the scarf? 1077 00:53:22,131 --> 00:53:23,732 It's kinda chilly in here. 1078 00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:25,401 [ shivers ] 1079 00:53:25,468 --> 00:53:27,135 [ clears throat ] 1080 00:53:31,074 --> 00:53:32,608 [ gasps ] 1081 00:53:32,659 --> 00:53:34,643 Ski rash. 1082 00:53:36,780 --> 00:53:38,531 So, I'm gonna -- [ clears throat ] 1083 00:53:38,615 --> 00:53:41,500 I better -- I'm gonna go to class, so...All right. 1084 00:53:41,585 --> 00:53:42,918 [ laughs ] 1085 00:53:44,921 --> 00:53:47,006 April, I am so sorry. 1086 00:53:47,090 --> 00:53:49,625 [ voice breaking ] he didn't even ask me to the prom. 1087 00:53:51,711 --> 00:53:53,462 Jake and I are so over. 1088 00:53:55,164 --> 00:53:57,216 Okay...[ chuckles ] 1089 00:53:57,300 --> 00:53:59,718 Now, you get in there. 1090 00:53:59,803 --> 00:54:01,169 [ inhales sharply ] 1091 00:54:01,221 --> 00:54:03,439 And remember -- your name is spence. 1092 00:54:03,506 --> 00:54:07,026 I must tell you...Spence, uh, there are applicants 1093 00:54:07,110 --> 00:54:10,145 Who actually have prior janitorial experience. 1094 00:54:10,196 --> 00:54:11,363 Your hair -- 1095 00:54:11,448 --> 00:54:13,816 It has such bounce. 1096 00:54:13,867 --> 00:54:15,985 Oh, it's this new cream ri-- 1097 00:54:16,036 --> 00:54:17,820 Um, anyway, a-as I was saying, 1098 00:54:17,871 --> 00:54:20,005 You haven't really provided me with -- 1099 00:54:20,073 --> 00:54:24,526 Look, uh... [ exhales sharply ] 1100 00:54:24,578 --> 00:54:26,879 Uh, I'll be honest with you. 1101 00:54:26,963 --> 00:54:28,747 I'm a struggling musician. 1102 00:54:28,832 --> 00:54:31,133 Ever since my days playing the tuba 1103 00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:32,835 In the high-school marching band -- 1104 00:54:32,886 --> 00:54:35,671 Y-you -- you -- you play the tuba? 1105 00:54:35,722 --> 00:54:37,039 Yes... 1106 00:54:37,090 --> 00:54:38,874 In the honor band. 1107 00:54:38,925 --> 00:54:40,375 Oh! 1108 00:54:40,427 --> 00:54:41,844 [ imitating tuba ] 1109 00:54:41,895 --> 00:54:43,312 [ laughs ] 1110 00:54:43,379 --> 00:54:46,599 Well, spence, I'd be going out on a limb here, but -- 1111 00:54:46,666 --> 00:54:48,216 You won't regret it, I promise. 1112 00:54:48,268 --> 00:54:49,985 Thank you, miss bernard. Thank you. 1113 00:54:50,053 --> 00:54:52,271 [ laughing ] please, call me marjorie. 1114 00:54:52,355 --> 00:54:54,023 [ deep voice ] marjorie. 1115 00:54:54,074 --> 00:54:57,059 Now, if you'll just fill out the security portion here 1116 00:54:57,110 --> 00:54:58,393 Of the form... 1117 00:54:58,445 --> 00:54:59,578 [ high-pitched ] all right. 1118 00:54:59,663 --> 00:55:01,330 [ laughing ] 1119 00:55:08,905 --> 00:55:09,872 Billy... 1120 00:55:09,923 --> 00:55:11,373 Aah! 1121 00:55:11,424 --> 00:55:12,925 We need to talk. 1122 00:55:13,009 --> 00:55:14,259 About what?! 1123 00:55:17,931 --> 00:55:19,431 I called you on your ski trip to -- 1124 00:55:19,516 --> 00:55:20,766 That was you?! 1125 00:55:20,850 --> 00:55:22,384 Yeah. 1126 00:55:22,435 --> 00:55:23,552 Oh, god! 1127 00:55:24,771 --> 00:55:26,889 I can explain. 1128 00:55:26,940 --> 00:55:28,941 Billy, wait! [ door closes ] 1129 00:55:29,025 --> 00:55:30,893 [ rock music plays ] 1130 00:55:35,782 --> 00:55:38,484 [ panting ] 1131 00:55:38,568 --> 00:55:40,452 I gotta do what? 1132 00:55:44,124 --> 00:55:45,624 [ salsa music plays ] [ barking ] 1133 00:55:45,709 --> 00:55:47,292 ♪ boom de rico mambo ♪ 1134 00:55:47,377 --> 00:55:49,545 Hi, there. I miss you. 1135 00:55:49,612 --> 00:55:50,746 Hi, sam. 1136 00:55:50,797 --> 00:55:51,947 [ barks ] 1137 00:55:53,917 --> 00:55:55,801 Hey, taquito, think fast. 1138 00:55:55,869 --> 00:55:56,468 Oh! 1139 00:55:59,005 --> 00:56:00,455 [ mexican accent ] you got me, señor. 1140 00:56:00,507 --> 00:56:02,307 Taquito, pick up that ball. 1141 00:56:02,392 --> 00:56:03,225 You and me are gonna shoot some hoops. 1142 00:56:05,178 --> 00:56:06,562 ♪ boom de rico mambo ♪ 1143 00:56:06,629 --> 00:56:08,013 Gotcha! 1144 00:56:08,098 --> 00:56:09,631 Back to tijuana! 1145 00:56:09,683 --> 00:56:11,767 [ laughs ] 1146 00:56:11,818 --> 00:56:13,802 [ basketball bouncing ] 1147 00:56:13,853 --> 00:56:15,487 ♪ este rico mambo ♪ 1148 00:56:20,110 --> 00:56:20,993 Oh! 1149 00:56:21,077 --> 00:56:22,528 Oh! 1150 00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:26,365 [ groans painfully ] 1151 00:56:26,449 --> 00:56:28,483 ♪ aah ♪ let me make you feel a little bit more at home. 1152 00:56:29,819 --> 00:56:35,624 Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-al! 1153 00:56:37,093 --> 00:56:38,343 ♪ huh ♪ 1154 00:56:38,428 --> 00:56:40,295 How are things with the missus, señor? 1155 00:56:40,346 --> 00:56:42,181 Eh, still not getting any. 1156 00:56:42,265 --> 00:56:43,682 [ sighs ] 1157 00:56:45,552 --> 00:56:47,886 When was the last time you kissed her? 1158 00:56:47,971 --> 00:56:50,606 You mean, kiss her, or kiss her kiss her? 1159 00:56:50,673 --> 00:56:51,506 [ laughs ] 1160 00:56:53,226 --> 00:56:54,977 Eugggh! 1161 00:56:55,028 --> 00:56:58,113 Señor, sometimes when a woman is ignoring you, 1162 00:56:58,181 --> 00:57:00,149 That's when she wants you the most. 1163 00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:03,185 She's only waiting for you to open up her passion, 1164 00:57:03,236 --> 00:57:08,574 Which is like a waterfall waiting to explode. 1165 00:57:10,543 --> 00:57:13,328 You must get a lot of enchilada, taquito. 1166 00:57:13,379 --> 00:57:14,546 Come on, bring it! 1167 00:57:20,470 --> 00:57:21,837 Tres points, señor. 1168 00:57:21,888 --> 00:57:23,055 Lucky shot. 1169 00:57:25,041 --> 00:57:25,891 Ah! 1170 00:57:28,812 --> 00:57:29,928 My outs again, señor. 1171 00:57:37,103 --> 00:57:39,021 [ net swishes ] 1172 00:57:39,072 --> 00:57:40,072 Oh! 1173 00:57:41,941 --> 00:57:43,692 Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. 1174 00:57:43,743 --> 00:57:47,229 How did you know I don't move so well to my right? 1175 00:57:53,953 --> 00:57:54,920 Carol: Booger? 1176 00:57:56,405 --> 00:57:58,006 Oh, have you seen your sister? 1177 00:57:58,074 --> 00:57:59,541 I feel like I haven't talked to her in days. 1178 00:58:02,345 --> 00:58:04,296 She was here a minute ago. You just missed her. 1179 00:58:04,380 --> 00:58:05,430 Oh. 1180 00:58:10,053 --> 00:58:11,419 Good game. 1181 00:58:14,774 --> 00:58:15,858 [ sighs ] 1182 00:58:18,528 --> 00:58:19,444 [ high-pitched ] señor richie? 1183 00:58:20,980 --> 00:58:23,598 I need to tell you something... 1184 00:58:23,650 --> 00:58:25,584 [ voice breaking ] but I can't. 1185 00:58:25,652 --> 00:58:27,152 What do you got going on, taquito? 1186 00:58:30,990 --> 00:58:33,608 I'm not really a gardener. 1187 00:58:35,278 --> 00:58:38,247 I agree with that. The roses look like shit. 1188 00:58:38,298 --> 00:58:40,048 [ sniffles ] 1189 00:58:40,116 --> 00:58:41,884 I'm sorry. 1190 00:58:41,951 --> 00:58:43,886 Come on, now, easy there, big fella. 1191 00:58:43,953 --> 00:58:46,121 They're just roses. [ chuckles ] 1192 00:58:46,172 --> 00:58:49,291 I want to tell you... 1193 00:58:49,342 --> 00:58:54,229 I think you're the greatest dad in the world. 1194 00:58:54,297 --> 00:58:58,133 Any kid would be lucky to have you as their father. 1195 00:58:58,184 --> 00:58:59,318 [ sniffles ] 1196 00:59:01,137 --> 00:59:02,521 Thanks, taquito. 1197 00:59:02,605 --> 00:59:04,323 [ sobbing ] 1198 00:59:04,407 --> 00:59:06,241 I'd hate to see you after you lose a game. 1199 00:59:18,288 --> 00:59:20,422 Eden: Okay, did you eat any wolfsbane? 1200 00:59:20,473 --> 00:59:23,225 Uh, no. 1201 00:59:23,292 --> 00:59:25,811 Any sex with a leprechaun? 1202 00:59:25,895 --> 00:59:27,312 Not recently. 1203 00:59:27,397 --> 00:59:28,981 [ beeps ] 1204 00:59:32,936 --> 00:59:34,236 Oh, my god. 1205 00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:39,992 You know, they should come with a warning -- 1206 00:59:40,076 --> 00:59:41,693 "earrings may come with penis." 1207 00:59:43,913 --> 00:59:46,331 [ foreign accent ] this be some serious shit. 1208 00:59:46,416 --> 00:59:49,651 Those belonged to princess nawa. 1209 00:59:49,702 --> 00:59:51,286 There's a myth 1210 00:59:51,337 --> 00:59:55,540 Of her using the earrings to escape a bad marriage. 1211 00:59:55,625 --> 00:59:57,542 [ up-tempo drum music playing ] 1212 00:59:57,627 --> 00:59:59,294 But she didn't know 1213 00:59:59,345 --> 01:00:02,664 That she had to bring the earrings back together, 1214 01:00:02,715 --> 01:00:07,052 And she lived out her life as a slave girl. 1215 01:00:07,136 --> 01:00:10,138 Now, it appears that this myth is anything but. 1216 01:00:10,189 --> 01:00:11,506 [ music swells ] 1217 01:00:11,557 --> 01:00:12,808 [ sighs ] 1218 01:00:12,859 --> 01:00:14,359 Would you stop with the damn drumming? 1219 01:00:17,647 --> 01:00:19,064 Oh, I'm sorry. 1220 01:00:19,148 --> 01:00:22,684 I...Just was really getting into your story. 1221 01:00:25,354 --> 01:00:28,523 You've got to find that other earring 1222 01:00:28,574 --> 01:00:31,827 And unite them before the full moon end. 1223 01:00:35,965 --> 01:00:40,385 [ introduction to custom's "mess" plays ] 1224 01:00:40,470 --> 01:00:42,554 ♪ I'm a messed-up kid ♪ 1225 01:00:42,639 --> 01:00:44,673 ♪ with a messed-up head ♪ 1226 01:00:44,724 --> 01:00:47,342 ♪ driving this wreck of a life ♪ 1227 01:00:47,393 --> 01:00:49,561 I got you, babe. Don't worry about it. 1228 01:00:49,646 --> 01:00:53,381 ♪ 'cause my messed-up parents ♪ 1229 01:00:53,433 --> 01:00:54,883 [ tapping on window ] keecia's mother: Hey, ling-ling! 1230 01:00:54,934 --> 01:00:56,735 Ling-ling! 1231 01:00:56,819 --> 01:00:59,104 Ling-ling, look! 1232 01:00:59,188 --> 01:01:02,223 Look, I help! I help you! 1233 01:01:02,275 --> 01:01:03,825 ♪ they're all a mess just like me ♪ 1234 01:01:03,893 --> 01:01:06,778 ♪ if you put us all together ♪ 1235 01:01:06,863 --> 01:01:08,196 ♪ it gets really ugly ♪ 1236 01:01:08,247 --> 01:01:09,498 [ cheering ] 1237 01:01:09,565 --> 01:01:10,899 ♪ I'm a mess ♪ 1238 01:01:13,402 --> 01:01:15,704 ♪ I'm a mess ♪ 1239 01:01:15,755 --> 01:01:16,922 [ indistinct shouting ] 1240 01:01:17,006 --> 01:01:17,923 Hey, billy. 1241 01:01:20,259 --> 01:01:21,209 Oh! 1242 01:01:21,260 --> 01:01:22,127 Yeah! 1243 01:01:22,211 --> 01:01:23,929 Is he okay? 1244 01:01:24,013 --> 01:01:25,597 Whoo! 1245 01:01:25,682 --> 01:01:28,717 [ water running ] 1246 01:01:30,419 --> 01:01:32,254 Jake: What's the matter, man? 1247 01:01:32,321 --> 01:01:34,106 You afraid the janitor's gonna see your dingdong? 1248 01:01:34,190 --> 01:01:35,607 [ chuckles ] 1249 01:01:39,729 --> 01:01:41,763 So, what's up with you and the prom queen? 1250 01:01:41,814 --> 01:01:44,432 I don't know. [ sighs ] 1251 01:01:44,484 --> 01:01:47,486 I thought everything was fine, but I guess I was wrong. 1252 01:01:47,570 --> 01:01:49,938 See, that's why you gotta have a spare, man. 1253 01:01:49,989 --> 01:01:51,957 That's what April is. She's my spare. 1254 01:01:52,041 --> 01:01:52,941 Spare? 1255 01:01:52,992 --> 01:01:54,609 Yeah, she's my backup. 1256 01:01:54,660 --> 01:01:56,795 I mean, she was a fun ride -- no doubt about this -- 1257 01:01:56,879 --> 01:01:58,330 But she is a previously owned vehicle. 1258 01:01:58,414 --> 01:02:00,281 I'm into that new-car smell. 1259 01:02:00,333 --> 01:02:01,967 Jessica: You asshole! 1260 01:02:04,787 --> 01:02:07,122 W-whoever left these towels over here... 1261 01:02:07,173 --> 01:02:08,724 Is an asshole. 1262 01:02:13,295 --> 01:02:16,631 Now, this new chick I got -- [ whistles ] 1263 01:02:16,682 --> 01:02:18,817 Dude, she is gonna be the hottest chick at the prom. 1264 01:02:18,901 --> 01:02:20,602 I bet one of her little hottie friends 1265 01:02:20,653 --> 01:02:22,187 Would love to go out with the quarterback. 1266 01:02:22,271 --> 01:02:24,940 Oh, I don't know, man. Come on, man. 1267 01:02:24,991 --> 01:02:27,142 Maybe this one will put out, unlike that cold fish, jessica. 1268 01:02:27,193 --> 01:02:29,611 You go to hell! 1269 01:02:32,165 --> 01:02:36,284 Whoever left these showers on... 1270 01:02:36,335 --> 01:02:37,836 Go to...Hell. 1271 01:02:39,539 --> 01:02:42,040 Hey... 1272 01:02:42,125 --> 01:02:45,710 Jessica's anything but a cold fish, all right? 1273 01:02:48,014 --> 01:02:51,383 She's the most amazing girl in the whole world. 1274 01:02:51,467 --> 01:02:55,554 Dude, you've never even been out of california. 1275 01:02:55,638 --> 01:02:57,672 I don't care. 1276 01:02:57,723 --> 01:02:59,524 I love her. 1277 01:02:59,609 --> 01:03:01,176 I mean, I know she thinks 1278 01:03:01,227 --> 01:03:03,178 I only want to have sex with her, 1279 01:03:03,229 --> 01:03:05,030 But that's not what it's about. 1280 01:03:05,114 --> 01:03:08,867 I mean, when that moment comes... 1281 01:03:08,951 --> 01:03:11,019 I want it to be perfect. 1282 01:03:13,873 --> 01:03:15,356 Wow. 1283 01:03:15,408 --> 01:03:17,542 That is the gayest thing I have ever heard. 1284 01:03:21,798 --> 01:03:24,132 She's the only girl that makes my heart 1285 01:03:24,200 --> 01:03:26,384 Beat faster and slower at the same time. 1286 01:03:29,255 --> 01:03:31,673 When I'm not with her... 1287 01:03:31,724 --> 01:03:33,225 I'm not living. 1288 01:03:35,895 --> 01:03:40,148 I'm only existing until I can hold her in my arms again. 1289 01:03:40,216 --> 01:03:41,867 [ sighs ] 1290 01:03:43,119 --> 01:03:45,537 Gay, gay, gay, gay. 1291 01:03:45,621 --> 01:03:48,123 [ sobs ] 1292 01:03:48,190 --> 01:03:50,292 [ sniffles, sighs ] 1293 01:03:53,462 --> 01:03:57,048 Somebody shit in the locker. 1294 01:03:57,133 --> 01:03:58,216 [ sniffles ] 1295 01:04:09,345 --> 01:04:11,546 [ salsa music plays ] 1296 01:04:13,382 --> 01:04:16,017 Can I help you find something? 1297 01:04:16,068 --> 01:04:19,404 [ mexican accent ] I-I was looking for my... 1298 01:04:19,488 --> 01:04:20,722 Earring. 1299 01:04:20,773 --> 01:04:23,108 It, uh, accidentally fell... 1300 01:04:23,192 --> 01:04:25,327 Into the lawn mower... 1301 01:04:25,394 --> 01:04:28,897 And, uh...Ricocheted into the window. 1302 01:04:28,948 --> 01:04:30,615 [ laughing nervously ] 1303 01:04:32,618 --> 01:04:34,753 I've always liked earrings on men. 1304 01:04:34,837 --> 01:04:36,571 Would you like some lemonade? 1305 01:04:39,258 --> 01:04:40,675 Here you go, taquito. 1306 01:04:40,743 --> 01:04:42,627 It's got a mexican flavor to it. 1307 01:04:47,133 --> 01:04:49,885 [ coughing, choking ] 1308 01:04:51,304 --> 01:04:52,520 [ coughing ] 1309 01:04:52,588 --> 01:04:54,222 What the hell is that?! 1310 01:04:54,273 --> 01:04:57,225 Quesadilla and spicy menudo with jalapeños -- 1311 01:04:57,276 --> 01:04:58,593 Your national dish. 1312 01:04:58,644 --> 01:05:01,363 [ laughing ] 1313 01:05:01,430 --> 01:05:04,032 I'm sorry. 1314 01:05:04,099 --> 01:05:05,784 [ sighs, chuckles ] 1315 01:05:05,868 --> 01:05:08,954 [ deep voice ] it's been so long since I heard you laugh. 1316 01:05:10,940 --> 01:05:12,490 [ mexican accent ] I mean... 1317 01:05:12,575 --> 01:05:14,826 Since I started working here. 1318 01:05:16,462 --> 01:05:17,629 [ moaning ] oh! Oh! 1319 01:05:17,713 --> 01:05:18,830 [ smooching ] 1320 01:05:18,915 --> 01:05:19,781 Back! 1321 01:05:21,450 --> 01:05:22,834 [ gasps ] 1322 01:05:22,919 --> 01:05:25,553 Oh, I -- I am so sorry. 1323 01:05:25,621 --> 01:05:27,339 [ sighs ] no problemo. 1324 01:05:27,423 --> 01:05:30,291 [ sighs ] 1325 01:05:30,343 --> 01:05:33,178 No problemo. 1326 01:05:33,262 --> 01:05:34,429 Oh! 1327 01:05:34,480 --> 01:05:36,932 [ deep voice ] aah! Carol! Carol! Please! 1328 01:05:36,983 --> 01:05:39,133 This would be very unnatural for me 1329 01:05:39,185 --> 01:05:41,135 In at least five different ways! 1330 01:05:41,187 --> 01:05:42,136 Ah! Oh! 1331 01:05:42,188 --> 01:05:43,188 [ gasps ] 1332 01:05:45,024 --> 01:05:48,610 So...You like men? 1333 01:05:48,661 --> 01:05:50,245 Of course I do. 1334 01:05:50,312 --> 01:05:52,080 What do you think? 1335 01:05:52,147 --> 01:05:54,866 Oh... 1336 01:05:56,369 --> 01:05:57,652 Oh... 1337 01:05:57,703 --> 01:05:59,621 [ laughs ] 1338 01:05:59,672 --> 01:06:01,089 [ sighing ] oh... 1339 01:06:03,042 --> 01:06:05,377 [ sighs ] 1340 01:06:07,013 --> 01:06:09,214 Carol... 1341 01:06:14,053 --> 01:06:18,189 You are a beautiful and very desirable woman. 1342 01:06:19,942 --> 01:06:23,194 And you have a husband who's dying to be with you. 1343 01:06:23,279 --> 01:06:24,846 H-he said that? 1344 01:06:24,897 --> 01:06:26,180 Yes. 1345 01:06:27,733 --> 01:06:30,869 I cleaned up the language a bit, but...Yes. 1346 01:06:34,690 --> 01:06:36,041 I know! 1347 01:06:38,544 --> 01:06:41,362 Let's go paint your toenails. 1348 01:06:42,999 --> 01:06:45,383 Then we'll wash your hair! 1349 01:06:45,468 --> 01:06:46,868 [ laughs ] 1350 01:06:46,919 --> 01:06:49,087 My daughter, jessie, used to do those things for me. 1351 01:06:49,171 --> 01:06:52,757 I'll make up for that right now. 1352 01:06:52,842 --> 01:06:54,225 Come on... 1353 01:06:54,310 --> 01:06:57,095 Let's show that man of yours what he's been missing. 1354 01:06:57,179 --> 01:06:58,546 [ laughs ] come on! 1355 01:06:58,597 --> 01:07:00,565 [ laughing ] okay! 1356 01:07:05,071 --> 01:07:06,054 [ sighs ] 1357 01:07:06,105 --> 01:07:07,605 [ carol giggling ] 1358 01:07:07,690 --> 01:07:09,157 [ mexican accent ] uh-huh, uh-huh. 1359 01:07:09,224 --> 01:07:11,993 Sí, yeah, sí, sí. 1360 01:07:12,061 --> 01:07:13,328 Uh-huh. Okay. 1361 01:07:13,395 --> 01:07:14,913 Sí, uh-huh, sí, sí. 1362 01:07:14,997 --> 01:07:16,698 Sí, sí. [ moaning ] 1363 01:07:16,749 --> 01:07:18,900 To the left -- ooh, right, right, right, right! 1364 01:07:18,951 --> 01:07:20,902 Oh, yes! Oh! 1365 01:07:20,953 --> 01:07:22,370 Sí. I love that. Oh, yes! 1366 01:07:22,421 --> 01:07:24,672 Carol! [ gasps ] 1367 01:07:24,740 --> 01:07:27,208 How could you?! In my own house?! 1368 01:07:27,259 --> 01:07:28,877 Señor -- 1369 01:07:28,928 --> 01:07:32,013 And you, taquito -- we were supposed to be amigos! 1370 01:07:32,081 --> 01:07:34,516 The loofah for the scrubbing. The sc-- get out! 1371 01:07:34,583 --> 01:07:36,434 Señor, is for the -- the bath. I was -- 1372 01:07:36,519 --> 01:07:38,520 Shut up-o. I was scrubbing. 1373 01:07:38,587 --> 01:07:40,088 Out! Señor... 1374 01:07:40,139 --> 01:07:41,806 Richie, richie... 1375 01:07:41,891 --> 01:07:44,192 [ sighs ] really, I-it's -- it's not what you think. 1376 01:07:44,259 --> 01:07:45,760 [ sighs ] 1377 01:07:45,811 --> 01:07:47,395 It's my own fault. 1378 01:07:53,069 --> 01:07:55,453 Oh, daddy! 1379 01:07:55,538 --> 01:07:56,788 Mmm! Oh! 1380 01:07:56,872 --> 01:07:59,407 [ water splashes ] oh! Oh, daddy! 1381 01:08:04,630 --> 01:08:06,581 Look at all these earrings. 1382 01:08:06,632 --> 01:08:07,832 It's hopeless. 1383 01:08:07,917 --> 01:08:09,000 I'm sorry. 1384 01:08:09,085 --> 01:08:10,585 [ sighs ] 1385 01:08:10,636 --> 01:08:12,420 The prom's in three days. 1386 01:08:12,471 --> 01:08:14,889 Forget about the cheer competition. 1387 01:08:18,094 --> 01:08:19,477 [ sighs deeply ] 1388 01:08:19,562 --> 01:08:20,962 I had it all. 1389 01:08:23,149 --> 01:08:25,800 And I never really appreciated it. 1390 01:08:25,851 --> 01:08:28,153 I took everybody for granted. 1391 01:08:29,572 --> 01:08:33,525 Oh, and today, my dad walked in on me and my mom in the tub. 1392 01:08:34,777 --> 01:08:38,079 I think I may have lost my job as gardener. 1393 01:08:38,147 --> 01:08:39,497 [ sighs ] 1394 01:08:39,582 --> 01:08:42,316 You know, I'm kinda sorry to say this, 1395 01:08:42,368 --> 01:08:45,370 But...This has been really fun. 1396 01:08:45,454 --> 01:08:46,921 [ giggling ] 1397 01:08:46,989 --> 01:08:48,423 [ laughing ] 1398 01:08:48,490 --> 01:08:50,041 Yeah, right. 1399 01:08:50,126 --> 01:08:51,960 [ telephone rings, answering machine beeps ] 1400 01:08:52,011 --> 01:08:54,328 Jake: Hey, babe, it's jake. 1401 01:08:54,380 --> 01:08:56,347 Listen, I got a half-hour after wrestling. 1402 01:08:56,432 --> 01:08:59,384 I can either take a shower or I can come on over. 1403 01:09:06,108 --> 01:09:07,976 [ deep voice ] too late, dude. 1404 01:09:08,027 --> 01:09:10,011 She's with me right now. 1405 01:09:10,062 --> 01:09:12,864 She says that my peepee's way bigger than yours. 1406 01:09:14,650 --> 01:09:16,734 And that's if I fold it in half. 1407 01:09:16,819 --> 01:09:17,869 [ gasps ] 1408 01:09:17,953 --> 01:09:19,237 Wha-- 1409 01:09:20,539 --> 01:09:22,624 No way! [ laughs ] 1410 01:09:22,691 --> 01:09:25,243 Oh, my god, that was awesome, spence. 1411 01:09:25,327 --> 01:09:26,578 [ high-pitched ] anytime. 1412 01:09:26,662 --> 01:09:28,696 [ laughs ] 1413 01:09:28,747 --> 01:09:30,081 [ both sigh ] 1414 01:09:30,166 --> 01:09:31,799 [ sighs ] 1415 01:09:31,867 --> 01:09:35,369 You know, I really thought I was in love. 1416 01:09:37,372 --> 01:09:39,257 How do you know for sure, anyway? 1417 01:09:40,926 --> 01:09:43,428 I think it's when you find someone 1418 01:09:43,512 --> 01:09:46,548 That you can really be yourself with... 1419 01:09:46,615 --> 01:09:49,184 Share anything... You know? 1420 01:09:49,235 --> 01:09:51,236 You mean like best friends? 1421 01:09:51,320 --> 01:09:52,403 Yeah. 1422 01:09:55,357 --> 01:09:57,725 Love's when you can't even imagine 1423 01:09:57,776 --> 01:10:01,029 What your life would be like without that other person, 1424 01:10:01,080 --> 01:10:05,166 When words don't come close to how your heart really feels. 1425 01:10:05,234 --> 01:10:08,703 And even though it doesn't make sense to other people, 1426 01:10:08,754 --> 01:10:10,738 You know you're meant to be together. 1427 01:10:10,789 --> 01:10:12,006 Yeah. 1428 01:10:12,074 --> 01:10:14,459 And you spend all night thinking about him. 1429 01:10:14,543 --> 01:10:17,411 And in the morning, you've never felt more rested. 1430 01:10:17,463 --> 01:10:19,714 Oh, it's like you have to grab on to something, 1431 01:10:19,765 --> 01:10:22,217 'cause it seems like your whole body's about to float away. 1432 01:10:22,268 --> 01:10:23,551 [ gasps excitedly ] 1433 01:10:23,602 --> 01:10:24,802 [ exhales deeply ] 1434 01:10:24,887 --> 01:10:26,420 Okay... 1435 01:10:26,472 --> 01:10:28,273 [ exhales sharply ] what? 1436 01:10:28,357 --> 01:10:29,440 I have an idea. 1437 01:10:29,525 --> 01:10:30,975 What? What, what? 1438 01:10:31,060 --> 01:10:32,977 Tell -- it might sound kind of crazy. 1439 01:10:33,062 --> 01:10:34,612 Tell me. Tell me. What? 1440 01:10:34,697 --> 01:10:38,199 Why don't you and I go to the prom together? 1441 01:10:40,703 --> 01:10:42,287 That would be awesome! 1442 01:10:42,371 --> 01:10:44,372 Yeah! [ laughs ] yeah! 1443 01:10:44,439 --> 01:10:46,107 So cool! [ both laughing ] 1444 01:10:46,158 --> 01:10:47,242 Aaah! 1445 01:10:47,293 --> 01:10:48,409 Yeah! 1446 01:10:48,460 --> 01:10:50,545 We'd make jake so jealous. 1447 01:10:50,612 --> 01:10:53,298 Yeah. 1448 01:10:53,382 --> 01:10:54,632 Ahhhh. 1449 01:10:54,717 --> 01:10:55,883 [ laughs ] 1450 01:10:55,951 --> 01:10:57,618 I got to pee. Ooh, I got to pee. 1451 01:10:57,670 --> 01:10:58,786 Ooh. 1452 01:10:58,837 --> 01:11:00,004 [ exhales sharply ] 1453 01:11:00,089 --> 01:11:02,173 Hmm-hoo! 1454 01:11:02,258 --> 01:11:04,926 [ urinating ] 1455 01:11:04,977 --> 01:11:06,644 [ farting ] oh. 1456 01:11:06,729 --> 01:11:08,429 [ exhales sharply ] 1457 01:11:08,480 --> 01:11:10,848 [ urinating, farting ] oh! 1458 01:11:10,933 --> 01:11:12,800 Oh, jeez! [ splattering ] 1459 01:11:12,851 --> 01:11:14,102 Sorry, I'll get that. 1460 01:11:14,153 --> 01:11:15,403 Are you okay? 1461 01:11:15,470 --> 01:11:16,671 I'll get it. 1462 01:11:16,739 --> 01:11:19,073 Sorry. 1463 01:11:19,141 --> 01:11:22,243 ♪ ash to ash ♪ 1464 01:11:22,311 --> 01:11:26,197 ♪ and dust to dust ♪ 1465 01:11:26,282 --> 01:11:28,316 ♪ we dream of... ♪ 1466 01:11:28,367 --> 01:11:29,701 Jessica? 1467 01:11:29,785 --> 01:11:31,169 ♪ we sold you... ♪ 1468 01:11:31,253 --> 01:11:32,754 Jessica?! 1469 01:11:32,821 --> 01:11:34,172 ♪ our trust ♪ 1470 01:11:34,256 --> 01:11:37,542 [ tires squealing ] 1471 01:11:37,626 --> 01:11:39,127 Jessica! 1472 01:11:39,178 --> 01:11:41,045 Oh, jessica. 1473 01:11:41,130 --> 01:11:44,098 Oh. Oh, thank god. [ chuckles ] 1474 01:11:44,166 --> 01:11:45,933 [ sighs ] I love you, baby. 1475 01:11:46,001 --> 01:11:47,218 [ sighs deeply ] 1476 01:11:47,303 --> 01:11:49,003 I would do anything for you. 1477 01:11:49,054 --> 01:11:50,338 [ scoffs ] yeah? 1478 01:11:50,389 --> 01:11:53,057 [ sighs deeply ] 1479 01:11:53,142 --> 01:11:55,476 Uh... How much money you got? 1480 01:11:55,527 --> 01:11:56,844 What? 1481 01:11:56,895 --> 01:11:58,229 How much money you got? 1482 01:11:58,314 --> 01:11:59,814 Um... 1483 01:11:59,865 --> 01:12:01,532 Uh... 1484 01:12:01,617 --> 01:12:02,533 About $40. 1485 01:12:04,703 --> 01:12:05,987 That your car? 1486 01:12:08,540 --> 01:12:10,158 It's my dad's. 1487 01:12:10,209 --> 01:12:11,793 You know that. 1488 01:12:11,860 --> 01:12:14,462 Oh, yeah. Cool. 1489 01:12:14,529 --> 01:12:15,863 Give me the keys. 1490 01:12:18,200 --> 01:12:19,467 [ keys jingling ] 1491 01:12:19,534 --> 01:12:20,802 Oh. Thanks. 1492 01:12:20,869 --> 01:12:22,253 [ sniffs ] 1493 01:12:22,338 --> 01:12:25,256 Hey, uh, so, uh, w-what'd you say your name was? 1494 01:12:26,508 --> 01:12:27,508 Billy. 1495 01:12:27,559 --> 01:12:29,210 Oh, yeah. Ooh. 1496 01:12:31,880 --> 01:12:34,182 Take it easy, bobby. 1497 01:12:35,550 --> 01:12:37,151 [ door creaks, closes ] it's "billy." 1498 01:12:37,219 --> 01:12:38,736 [ engine turns over ] 1499 01:12:38,821 --> 01:12:40,321 [ tires squealing ] 1500 01:12:42,724 --> 01:12:46,160 [ tires squealing ] 1501 01:12:46,228 --> 01:12:47,695 [ chuckles ] 1502 01:12:47,746 --> 01:12:49,197 [ rock music plays, tires squealing ] 1503 01:12:51,750 --> 01:12:52,917 Aaah! 1504 01:12:55,537 --> 01:12:57,004 [ music stops ] 1505 01:12:57,072 --> 01:12:58,673 [ panting ] 1506 01:13:01,710 --> 01:13:03,878 [ crying softly ] 1507 01:13:03,929 --> 01:13:05,713 [ crowd cheering, dance music plays ] 1508 01:13:12,187 --> 01:13:13,471 Yeah. 1509 01:13:18,093 --> 01:13:19,760 [ whistle blows, music stops ] 1510 01:13:19,812 --> 01:13:22,647 [ salsa music plays ] 1511 01:13:27,369 --> 01:13:28,870 Where's jessica? 1512 01:13:28,937 --> 01:13:31,906 [ sighs ] don't worry, miss bernard. 1513 01:13:31,957 --> 01:13:33,291 She'll be here. 1514 01:13:33,375 --> 01:13:35,076 [ music continues ] 1515 01:13:35,127 --> 01:13:37,445 [ men singing in spanish ] 1516 01:13:44,052 --> 01:13:45,837 [ cheers and applause ] 1517 01:13:48,173 --> 01:13:49,891 Hey. 1518 01:13:49,958 --> 01:13:52,894 [ exhales sharply ] I really hope this works, jessica. 1519 01:13:52,961 --> 01:13:55,096 Come on, let's go kick some ass. 1520 01:13:55,147 --> 01:13:56,964 Okay. 1521 01:13:57,015 --> 01:13:58,483 Aah. Oh! 1522 01:13:58,567 --> 01:14:00,801 Dude, there's jessica. 1523 01:14:00,853 --> 01:14:02,270 Whatever. 1524 01:14:02,321 --> 01:14:04,138 Dude! 1525 01:14:04,189 --> 01:14:06,140 [ whistles, cheers ] 1526 01:14:06,191 --> 01:14:07,408 Number one! 1527 01:14:21,656 --> 01:14:23,791 She does love me. 1528 01:14:23,842 --> 01:14:25,676 [ dance music plays, whip cracks ] 1529 01:14:25,761 --> 01:14:28,095 ♪ are you feeling fierce? ♪ 1530 01:14:33,635 --> 01:14:35,720 [ introduction to run-d.M.C.'s "it's tricky" plays ] 1531 01:14:35,804 --> 01:14:37,638 ♪ it's tricky to rock a rhyme ♪ 1532 01:14:37,689 --> 01:14:39,023 ♪ to rock a rhyme that's right on time ♪ 1533 01:14:39,107 --> 01:14:40,841 ♪ it's tricky ♪ 1534 01:14:40,893 --> 01:14:43,227 ♪ it's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky ♪ 1535 01:14:43,312 --> 01:14:45,146 [ dance music plays ] 1536 01:14:50,319 --> 01:14:52,069 Whoo-hoo! 1537 01:14:52,154 --> 01:14:54,789 [ hip-hop music plays ] 1538 01:15:01,580 --> 01:15:03,697 All: The bees are coming! The bees are coming! 1539 01:15:03,749 --> 01:15:04,966 Sting this! 1540 01:15:05,033 --> 01:15:06,700 That's you! That's you! I see you! 1541 01:15:06,752 --> 01:15:08,803 [ hip-hop music plays ] 1542 01:15:08,870 --> 01:15:09,921 Yeah! 1543 01:15:11,507 --> 01:15:12,757 [ music stops ] 1544 01:15:12,841 --> 01:15:15,343 [ cheers and applause ] 1545 01:15:16,812 --> 01:15:18,596 Whoa! Oh! Girl: Aaah! 1546 01:15:18,680 --> 01:15:20,097 [ all gasping ] 1547 01:15:20,182 --> 01:15:21,232 Aaah! 1548 01:15:21,316 --> 01:15:23,150 [ panting ] 1549 01:15:23,218 --> 01:15:24,735 [ girls screaming ] 1550 01:15:26,605 --> 01:15:27,939 [ vomiting ] oh! Je-- 1551 01:15:28,023 --> 01:15:29,223 [ retching ] 1552 01:15:29,274 --> 01:15:30,691 Oh, come on, man. 1553 01:15:39,868 --> 01:15:41,118 [ feedback ] 1554 01:15:41,203 --> 01:15:42,870 Ladies and gentlemen, 1555 01:15:42,921 --> 01:15:45,540 It appears the older gentleman in the bee outfit 1556 01:15:45,591 --> 01:15:48,709 With the fake boobs is the school janitor. 1557 01:15:48,760 --> 01:15:52,630 As per section 31c of the rule book, 1558 01:15:52,714 --> 01:15:55,716 School employees are allowed to be mascots. 1559 01:15:55,767 --> 01:15:58,085 Say hello to your new champions -- 1560 01:15:58,136 --> 01:16:00,471 The bridgetown honeys! 1561 01:16:00,556 --> 01:16:02,089 [ cheers and applause ] aaah! Aaah! Aaah! 1562 01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:05,977 Aaah! 1563 01:16:06,061 --> 01:16:06,978 Yeah! 1564 01:16:07,062 --> 01:16:08,596 Yeah! 1565 01:16:08,647 --> 01:16:10,531 Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! 1566 01:16:10,599 --> 01:16:12,783 [ laughing wildly ] 1567 01:16:15,370 --> 01:16:16,871 Whoo-hoo! Oh! 1568 01:16:18,490 --> 01:16:20,107 Ugh! 1569 01:16:20,158 --> 01:16:22,076 ♪ give me all your fear ♪ 1570 01:16:22,127 --> 01:16:25,496 ♪ throw it all away ♪ 1571 01:16:25,581 --> 01:16:28,749 ♪ and think about the good things ♪ 1572 01:16:28,800 --> 01:16:31,886 ♪ no matter what they say ♪ 1573 01:16:31,953 --> 01:16:37,925 ♪ we'll take tomorrow, baby, yeah ♪ 1574 01:16:37,976 --> 01:16:41,479 ♪ one day at a time ♪ 1575 01:16:41,563 --> 01:16:43,731 Woman on tv: Here's a bizarre story for you -- 1576 01:16:43,798 --> 01:16:45,733 Police are now searching for the hot chick bandit -- 1577 01:16:45,800 --> 01:16:49,487 A beautiful young woman who lures men into dark alleyways, 1578 01:16:49,571 --> 01:16:52,490 Beats them senseless, and takes their wallets. 1579 01:16:52,574 --> 01:16:54,609 Well, we thought maybe she needed some help. 1580 01:16:54,660 --> 01:16:56,611 Yeah, we're helpful guys. 1581 01:16:56,662 --> 01:16:59,080 So we went into the alley, and then she starts wailing on me. 1582 01:16:59,147 --> 01:17:01,582 And let me tell you -- she didn't hit like a girl. 1583 01:17:01,650 --> 01:17:04,151 Luckily, fitzy, the good guy that he is -- 1584 01:17:04,202 --> 01:17:07,204 He was hiding behind a dumpster with a video camera. 1585 01:17:07,289 --> 01:17:09,423 Looks like she worked you over pretty good. 1586 01:17:09,491 --> 01:17:11,492 Yeah, well, don't get me wrong -- 1587 01:17:11,543 --> 01:17:14,011 I got some shots in. 1588 01:17:14,096 --> 01:17:15,329 Ow! 1589 01:17:15,380 --> 01:17:16,664 [ thud, thud, thud ] ow! Ow! Ow! 1590 01:17:16,715 --> 01:17:17,882 [ whimpering ] 1591 01:17:17,966 --> 01:17:19,934 Ow! 1592 01:17:20,001 --> 01:17:21,302 Ow! 1593 01:17:21,353 --> 01:17:22,353 [ thud ] owww! 1594 01:17:22,437 --> 01:17:23,354 [ thud ] 1595 01:17:23,438 --> 01:17:24,672 Owww! 1596 01:17:24,723 --> 01:17:26,807 Why? Oh, god. 1597 01:17:26,858 --> 01:17:29,226 Oh, god, that hurt. 1598 01:17:29,311 --> 01:17:30,778 Owww! 1599 01:17:30,845 --> 01:17:33,864 [ whimpering ] 1600 01:17:33,949 --> 01:17:36,283 Why?! [ whimpering ] [ telephone beeping ] 1601 01:17:36,351 --> 01:17:38,035 [ whimpering continues ] 1602 01:17:38,120 --> 01:17:39,487 [ ringing ] 1603 01:17:39,538 --> 01:17:41,405 Hi, it's April. Leave me a message. 1604 01:17:41,490 --> 01:17:43,574 [ beep ] April, it's hildenburg. 1605 01:17:43,659 --> 01:17:46,377 I think I found jessica's body. It's in an alley outside a bar. 1606 01:17:46,461 --> 01:17:48,529 But we got to move fast, because the police are already looking for it. 1607 01:17:48,580 --> 01:17:49,697 Call me back. Ohh! Oh! 1608 01:17:49,748 --> 01:17:51,165 Aaaahhh! 1609 01:17:51,216 --> 01:17:52,550 [ thud ] [ cat screeches ] 1610 01:17:59,174 --> 01:18:01,726 [ slow piano music plays ] 1611 01:18:09,651 --> 01:18:11,719 [ jessica sniffles, cries softly ] 1612 01:18:23,031 --> 01:18:24,231 Jessica? 1613 01:18:24,282 --> 01:18:26,667 [ crying softly ] 1614 01:18:26,735 --> 01:18:29,670 [ sighs deeply ] 1615 01:18:29,738 --> 01:18:31,172 [ sniffles ] 1616 01:18:31,239 --> 01:18:34,408 [ sniffles ] not now, booger. 1617 01:18:34,459 --> 01:18:36,043 I knew it! 1618 01:18:36,094 --> 01:18:37,928 Jessie, it is you! 1619 01:18:41,767 --> 01:18:43,634 How come you didn't snitch on me? 1620 01:18:43,719 --> 01:18:45,302 'cause you're my sister, 1621 01:18:45,387 --> 01:18:47,304 And I accept you for who you are. 1622 01:18:49,474 --> 01:18:51,892 Come here. [ sighs deeply ] 1623 01:18:54,062 --> 01:18:55,262 [ inhales sharply ] 1624 01:18:55,313 --> 01:18:57,264 You are such a little weirdo. 1625 01:18:57,315 --> 01:18:58,783 [ sniffles ] 1626 01:19:11,213 --> 01:19:14,331 ♪ that's right, don't be looking at me like that ♪ 1627 01:19:14,416 --> 01:19:16,667 ♪ see, my name is grandma funk, y'all ♪ 1628 01:19:16,752 --> 01:19:19,253 ♪ funk if you're nasty, darling ♪ 1629 01:19:19,304 --> 01:19:20,588 Ooh... 1630 01:19:20,639 --> 01:19:23,290 Sweet as cand-y! 1631 01:19:23,341 --> 01:19:24,975 Keecia's mother: Ling-ling! 1632 01:19:25,060 --> 01:19:26,594 ♪ I need a little more volume ♪ 1633 01:19:26,645 --> 01:19:30,014 "l" to the "I" to the "n" to the "g." 1634 01:19:30,098 --> 01:19:31,432 [ laughs ] 1635 01:19:31,483 --> 01:19:34,468 Ling-ling, you forgot your bling-bling. 1636 01:19:34,519 --> 01:19:37,738 Mom... You're ruining my life! 1637 01:19:39,274 --> 01:19:41,642 I just want to meet you halfway. 1638 01:19:41,693 --> 01:19:42,943 ♪ are you ready to get down, get funky? ♪ 1639 01:19:42,994 --> 01:19:45,246 Nigga, "prease"! 1640 01:19:45,313 --> 01:19:47,865 [ groove armada's "I see you, baby" plays ] 1641 01:19:55,173 --> 01:19:57,991 I wish my mama got me some bling-bling. 1642 01:19:58,043 --> 01:20:00,044 Honey, if you don't want her as your mama, 1643 01:20:00,128 --> 01:20:01,262 I'll take her. 1644 01:20:01,329 --> 01:20:03,013 Girl, please. Girl, please. 1645 01:20:03,098 --> 01:20:04,715 ♪ uh! ♪ 1646 01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:06,217 ♪ what? ♪ ♪ uh! ♪ 1647 01:20:06,301 --> 01:20:08,001 ♪ come on! ♪ ♪ uh! ♪ 1648 01:20:08,053 --> 01:20:10,688 [ eerie music plays, siren wailing ] 1649 01:20:23,401 --> 01:20:25,986 ♪ whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 1650 01:20:26,037 --> 01:20:28,572 ♪ whoa, pretty, pretty shy one ♪ 1651 01:20:28,657 --> 01:20:31,208 ♪ whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 1652 01:20:31,293 --> 01:20:33,043 ♪ whoa, pretty, pretty fly one ♪ 1653 01:20:33,128 --> 01:20:34,461 You still think I have a chance at prom queen? 1654 01:20:34,529 --> 01:20:35,913 No. 1655 01:20:35,997 --> 01:20:37,464 Okay. 1656 01:20:37,532 --> 01:20:40,501 [ music continues ] 1657 01:20:42,170 --> 01:20:43,203 Mom! 1658 01:20:44,873 --> 01:20:46,557 I'm sorry. 1659 01:20:46,641 --> 01:20:48,726 But why do you have to keep embarrassing me 1660 01:20:48,810 --> 01:20:50,010 In front of my friends? 1661 01:20:50,061 --> 01:20:52,263 [ sighs ] 1662 01:20:52,347 --> 01:20:54,431 You're not ashamed of me. 1663 01:20:56,401 --> 01:20:59,186 You're really ashamed of yourself. 1664 01:20:59,237 --> 01:21:01,488 [ breathing shakily ] 1665 01:21:01,556 --> 01:21:02,723 Tell lulu -- 1666 01:21:02,774 --> 01:21:05,109 Easy on the chronic. 1667 01:21:05,193 --> 01:21:07,111 [ engine turns over, buzzing ] 1668 01:21:07,195 --> 01:21:09,246 ♪ bow down ♪ ♪ when I come to your town ♪ 1669 01:21:09,331 --> 01:21:11,231 ♪ bow down ♪ ♪ when I'm westward bound ♪ 1670 01:21:11,283 --> 01:21:12,733 ♪ bow down ♪ 1671 01:21:12,784 --> 01:21:14,869 ♪ 'cause I ain't a hater like you ♪ 1672 01:21:14,920 --> 01:21:16,871 ♪ bow down to a dealer that's greater than you ♪ 1673 01:21:16,922 --> 01:21:19,757 ♪ I take ten steps, and I draw ♪ 1674 01:21:19,841 --> 01:21:20,908 [ telephone ringing ] 1675 01:21:20,959 --> 01:21:23,127 Ohhh! Oh! Oh! 1676 01:21:23,211 --> 01:21:25,512 [ ringing continues ] 1677 01:21:25,580 --> 01:21:27,798 [ beep ] 1678 01:21:27,883 --> 01:21:30,417 Oh, h-h-hi, carol. 1679 01:21:32,804 --> 01:21:34,555 Jessica didn't get ready here. 1680 01:21:36,808 --> 01:21:40,060 No. No, she hasn't been here all week. 1681 01:21:41,980 --> 01:21:43,781 [ beep ] 1682 01:21:43,865 --> 01:21:46,066 Oh! I knew it! 1683 01:21:46,117 --> 01:21:48,485 [ gasps ] something is going on with jessica and April. 1684 01:21:48,570 --> 01:21:51,155 Oh...Oh, I'm gonna get to the bottom of it. 1685 01:21:51,239 --> 01:21:54,742 If you ruin April's night, I will have you put away. 1686 01:21:54,809 --> 01:21:56,410 Wh-- 1687 01:21:56,461 --> 01:21:59,112 I-if you're not gonna help me, I-I'm gonna do it myself. 1688 01:21:59,164 --> 01:22:00,581 [ rustling ] 1689 01:22:04,920 --> 01:22:07,504 [ tires squealing ] 1690 01:22:09,507 --> 01:22:11,642 [ horn blaring ] 1691 01:22:14,596 --> 01:22:17,514 [ blaring continues ] 1692 01:22:17,599 --> 01:22:19,566 [ michelle branch's "you get me" plays ] 1693 01:22:19,634 --> 01:22:22,069 ♪ so I'm a little left of center ♪ 1694 01:22:22,136 --> 01:22:23,687 ♪ I'm a little out of tune ♪ 1695 01:22:23,772 --> 01:22:25,155 I think this is a good spot. 1696 01:22:25,240 --> 01:22:26,640 ♪ some say I'm paranormal ♪ 1697 01:22:26,691 --> 01:22:28,442 Jake's got to come right by here. 1698 01:22:28,493 --> 01:22:30,828 I don't really care about jake anymore. 1699 01:22:30,912 --> 01:22:33,580 You shouldn't. He's a jerk. 1700 01:22:33,648 --> 01:22:35,950 There's no one I'd rather be with here tonight. 1701 01:22:36,001 --> 01:22:37,334 ♪ I don't care what they're saying ♪ 1702 01:22:37,419 --> 01:22:38,619 Me either. 1703 01:22:38,670 --> 01:22:39,954 [ exhales sharply ] 1704 01:22:40,005 --> 01:22:41,522 ♪ as long as I'm your girl ♪ 1705 01:22:41,589 --> 01:22:44,992 April, you look so beautiful tonight. 1706 01:22:45,043 --> 01:22:47,511 No one has ever been there for me like you have. 1707 01:22:47,595 --> 01:22:49,546 You've always been there for me. 1708 01:22:49,631 --> 01:22:53,500 Any guy would be so lucky to have you as their girlfriend. 1709 01:22:53,551 --> 01:22:55,853 And I should know. 1710 01:22:55,937 --> 01:22:58,188 I've been a guy for almost a week now. 1711 01:22:58,273 --> 01:23:01,692 And in that time, you have been such a good friend to me. 1712 01:23:01,776 --> 01:23:04,361 I don't know how I could ever thank you. 1713 01:23:04,446 --> 01:23:06,981 Ehhhh... 1714 01:23:10,235 --> 01:23:11,318 Here he comes. 1715 01:23:11,369 --> 01:23:13,404 [ both chuckle ] 1716 01:23:15,857 --> 01:23:17,908 That dress looks great. 1717 01:23:17,993 --> 01:23:20,494 Is it easy to get out of? 1718 01:23:20,545 --> 01:23:21,545 [ slurps ] 1719 01:23:26,367 --> 01:23:28,752 [ inhales deeply ] 1720 01:23:31,056 --> 01:23:31,722 God. 1721 01:23:31,806 --> 01:23:33,257 Aaah! 1722 01:23:33,341 --> 01:23:35,259 Oh... 1723 01:23:39,564 --> 01:23:42,049 I am so lesbian right now. 1724 01:23:44,152 --> 01:23:45,903 [ scoffs ] 1725 01:23:45,987 --> 01:23:48,655 We totally nailed him. [ laughs ] 1726 01:23:48,723 --> 01:23:50,724 Jake is so jealous. 1727 01:23:50,775 --> 01:23:53,077 He spilled his drink all over his date. 1728 01:23:53,161 --> 01:23:55,362 You should've seen it. [ laughs ] 1729 01:23:59,250 --> 01:24:02,169 We already got him, honey. He can't see us anym-- 1730 01:24:07,709 --> 01:24:09,259 Spence, I love you. 1731 01:24:09,344 --> 01:24:12,012 I love you, too, April. 1732 01:24:12,080 --> 01:24:15,132 If you weren't holding on to me right now... 1733 01:24:15,216 --> 01:24:16,517 I'd float away. 1734 01:24:18,136 --> 01:24:20,637 You're my best friend, and now you're a guy. 1735 01:24:20,722 --> 01:24:23,423 It's meant to be. 1736 01:24:23,475 --> 01:24:25,943 [ sighs ] 1737 01:24:28,863 --> 01:24:31,065 April... 1738 01:24:31,116 --> 01:24:33,534 You don't need me or any guy 1739 01:24:33,601 --> 01:24:36,320 To make you feel beautiful and special... 1740 01:24:36,404 --> 01:24:38,789 Because you are. 1741 01:24:38,873 --> 01:24:42,442 You are the greatest girl in the whole world. 1742 01:24:44,212 --> 01:24:46,797 You are all you need. 1743 01:24:46,881 --> 01:24:50,884 I know it's crazy, but I can't help it. 1744 01:24:50,952 --> 01:24:52,719 I'm in love with you, spence. 1745 01:24:57,175 --> 01:24:59,059 [ sighs ] 1746 01:25:04,015 --> 01:25:05,899 [ sighs ] 1747 01:25:22,367 --> 01:25:23,500 April... 1748 01:25:25,870 --> 01:25:27,538 You gonna be okay? 1749 01:25:27,622 --> 01:25:29,489 I'm sorry. 1750 01:25:29,541 --> 01:25:31,091 Don't be. 1751 01:25:34,829 --> 01:25:37,047 We're not gonna let a little thing like... 1752 01:25:37,132 --> 01:25:39,850 Me turning into a man and you wanting to be with me 1753 01:25:39,934 --> 01:25:41,969 Get in the way of our friendship, are we? 1754 01:25:42,020 --> 01:25:43,520 [ chuckles ] 1755 01:25:50,695 --> 01:25:52,863 [ sighs ] I'm in love with billy. 1756 01:25:55,066 --> 01:25:57,184 And if I'm gonna be stuck like this forever, 1757 01:25:57,235 --> 01:26:01,655 He's just gonna have to accept me as I am -- 1758 01:26:01,706 --> 01:26:03,991 A man. 1759 01:26:08,196 --> 01:26:10,697 That's my man. 1760 01:26:10,748 --> 01:26:13,366 [ dance music plays ] 1761 01:26:13,418 --> 01:26:15,586 I think I know who's in jessica's body. 1762 01:26:15,670 --> 01:26:16,887 [ gasps ] 1763 01:26:16,971 --> 01:26:18,922 And I know where we can find him. 1764 01:26:19,007 --> 01:26:21,225 Let's find jessica and get out of here. 1765 01:26:21,309 --> 01:26:24,761 Hildenburg, you know what to do. 1766 01:26:24,846 --> 01:26:26,063 Come on. 1767 01:26:28,766 --> 01:26:31,551 [ music continues ] 1768 01:26:35,273 --> 01:26:36,240 Aah! 1769 01:26:41,529 --> 01:26:43,163 Come on. 1770 01:26:43,231 --> 01:26:45,232 [ whip cracking ] man: That's a huge bitch. 1771 01:26:45,283 --> 01:26:47,201 [ laughs ] I didn't see it coming. 1772 01:26:47,252 --> 01:26:49,870 No way, man. [ laughs ] 1773 01:26:49,921 --> 01:26:51,955 [ whistles ] scoot. He's mine. 1774 01:26:52,040 --> 01:26:53,507 Mmm, boy, I don't think so. 1775 01:26:53,574 --> 01:26:54,791 Aah! 1776 01:26:54,876 --> 01:26:56,343 [ sighs ] 1777 01:26:56,410 --> 01:26:58,629 [ exhales sharply ] get away! 1778 01:26:58,713 --> 01:27:00,080 Billy... 1779 01:27:00,131 --> 01:27:02,299 It's me -- jessica. 1780 01:27:04,919 --> 01:27:06,803 It's always been me. 1781 01:27:06,888 --> 01:27:08,272 Mister... 1782 01:27:08,356 --> 01:27:10,057 You're freaking me out. 1783 01:27:10,108 --> 01:27:12,609 You know how when I touch you there, 1784 01:27:12,694 --> 01:27:14,778 It makes your whole leg tingle? 1785 01:27:14,862 --> 01:27:16,613 And when I touch you here... 1786 01:27:20,952 --> 01:27:23,603 No. No. No, it can't be. 1787 01:27:23,655 --> 01:27:26,206 Do you remember after the homecoming game... 1788 01:27:26,274 --> 01:27:29,609 After you threw the winning pass to beat carlmont, 1789 01:27:29,661 --> 01:27:31,995 You and I went behind the scoreboard and... 1790 01:27:32,080 --> 01:27:34,498 [ exhales sharply ] 1791 01:27:36,084 --> 01:27:39,469 [ whispering ] 1792 01:27:39,554 --> 01:27:41,471 [ exhales sharply ] 1793 01:27:47,061 --> 01:27:49,313 [ exhales sharply ] 1794 01:27:49,397 --> 01:27:52,015 You got to believe me. 1795 01:27:54,352 --> 01:27:58,522 Silly...Billy...Nilly. 1796 01:28:00,308 --> 01:28:02,025 Just close your eyes. 1797 01:28:02,110 --> 01:28:05,112 You'll know it's me. 1798 01:28:08,866 --> 01:28:10,200 [ exhales sharply ] 1799 01:28:12,337 --> 01:28:14,204 [ romantic music plays ] 1800 01:28:25,166 --> 01:28:26,350 Oh! 1801 01:28:26,434 --> 01:28:28,518 Oh, I can't! I can't do it! 1802 01:28:28,603 --> 01:28:30,470 You always said you'd love me no matter what. 1803 01:28:30,521 --> 01:28:33,890 Bu-- I -- you're a 30-year-old dude! 1804 01:28:33,975 --> 01:28:35,192 Just on the outside! 1805 01:28:37,011 --> 01:28:38,695 Billy! 1806 01:28:38,780 --> 01:28:40,147 [ footsteps approaching ] bil-- 1807 01:28:40,198 --> 01:28:41,648 We found your body. 1808 01:28:41,699 --> 01:28:43,200 [ panting ] 1809 01:28:45,737 --> 01:28:47,871 It'll be fine. Are you sure she's all right? 1810 01:28:47,955 --> 01:28:48,655 I'm sure everything's gonna be fine. Booger! 1811 01:28:48,706 --> 01:28:50,040 Booger, hurry up! 1812 01:28:50,124 --> 01:28:51,958 Come on, buddy! 1813 01:28:52,026 --> 01:28:53,827 You got to learn to run in those heels if you're gonna wear them. 1814 01:28:53,878 --> 01:28:56,830 [ engine turns over ] 1815 01:28:56,881 --> 01:28:58,799 [ sister sledge's "he's the greatest dancer" plays ] 1816 01:28:58,866 --> 01:29:01,468 ♪ oh, what, wow ♪ 1817 01:29:01,535 --> 01:29:03,637 ♪ he's the greatest dancer ♪ there you go, sweetheart. 1818 01:29:03,704 --> 01:29:05,389 ♪ that I've ever seen ♪ 1819 01:29:05,473 --> 01:29:07,507 ♪ I've ever seen ♪ [ laughs ] 1820 01:29:07,558 --> 01:29:09,226 ♪ oh, what, wow ♪ [ grunts ] 1821 01:29:09,310 --> 01:29:11,395 ♪ he's the greatest dancer ♪ 1822 01:29:11,479 --> 01:29:13,063 ♪ oh, what, wow ♪ 1823 01:29:13,147 --> 01:29:14,014 ♪ that I've ever seen ♪ 1824 01:29:14,065 --> 01:29:15,548 Oh, shit! 1825 01:29:18,569 --> 01:29:19,719 [ exhales sharply ] 1826 01:29:21,823 --> 01:29:24,441 I knew it was gonna be a good night. 1827 01:29:24,525 --> 01:29:26,243 Ow! God. 1828 01:29:26,327 --> 01:29:28,061 Thanks, hildenburg. 1829 01:29:28,112 --> 01:29:30,330 I want my body back right now! 1830 01:29:30,398 --> 01:29:33,834 Well, finders keepers, sweetheart. 1831 01:29:33,901 --> 01:29:34,951 [ lighter clicks ] 1832 01:29:37,255 --> 01:29:40,006 How dare you?! Do you know what this could do to my lungs?! 1833 01:29:40,074 --> 01:29:41,574 [ scoffs ] 1834 01:29:41,626 --> 01:29:43,377 You give me that earring! Give me that earring! 1835 01:29:43,428 --> 01:29:45,011 You give me that earring. 1836 01:29:45,079 --> 01:29:47,080 Give it to me. Give it. Give it to me. 1837 01:29:47,131 --> 01:29:48,515 Okay. Okay, okay, okay. 1838 01:29:48,582 --> 01:29:51,051 Sit down. Calm down. Calm down. 1839 01:29:51,102 --> 01:29:52,803 I'll make you a deal, okay? 1840 01:29:52,887 --> 01:29:54,938 Now... 1841 01:29:55,022 --> 01:29:57,924 Just let me make another 500 bucks tonight, okay? 1842 01:29:57,975 --> 01:30:00,727 And then I'll give you your body back 1843 01:30:00,778 --> 01:30:02,813 'cause it's so important to you. 1844 01:30:02,897 --> 01:30:05,265 [ mockingly ] "I'm crying about my body." 1845 01:30:05,316 --> 01:30:07,367 And then... 1846 01:30:07,435 --> 01:30:09,486 You can just loan it to me every other weekend 1847 01:30:09,570 --> 01:30:12,072 And -- so I can pay off some gambling debts. 1848 01:30:12,123 --> 01:30:14,574 Weekends -- loan you my body. 1849 01:30:14,625 --> 01:30:16,076 [ chuckles ] 1850 01:30:16,127 --> 01:30:17,711 I want my body back! 1851 01:30:17,778 --> 01:30:20,163 Give me my body back! 1852 01:30:20,248 --> 01:30:21,047 Give -- [ choking ] 1853 01:30:22,216 --> 01:30:23,383 Hey... 1854 01:30:23,451 --> 01:30:25,618 Look at me. 1855 01:30:25,670 --> 01:30:27,554 I'm only gonna tell you this once -- 1856 01:30:27,621 --> 01:30:31,141 No strangling the dancers or you are out of here! 1857 01:30:31,225 --> 01:30:33,009 Now, can't you read? 1858 01:30:36,814 --> 01:30:39,900 [ dance music plays ] 1859 01:30:39,967 --> 01:30:41,351 ♪ what are you waiting for? ♪ 1860 01:30:41,436 --> 01:30:42,819 Now, this is more like it. 1861 01:30:45,156 --> 01:30:47,407 I got to hit the head. 1862 01:30:47,475 --> 01:30:49,493 ♪ give it to me ♪ 1863 01:30:49,577 --> 01:30:51,244 ♪ life is what you make it ♪ 1864 01:30:51,312 --> 01:30:52,612 ♪ and it can pass you by ♪ 1865 01:30:52,663 --> 01:30:54,414 Hey, don't worry. 1866 01:30:54,482 --> 01:30:56,166 We're gonna get him. 1867 01:30:58,035 --> 01:30:58,952 [ gasps ] 1868 01:31:00,004 --> 01:31:01,254 [ all laughing ] 1869 01:31:02,540 --> 01:31:03,707 Hey, babe. 1870 01:31:03,791 --> 01:31:05,342 [ whistles ] sweetheart. 1871 01:31:05,426 --> 01:31:06,826 Hey... 1872 01:31:08,012 --> 01:31:09,829 No way! 1873 01:31:09,881 --> 01:31:12,299 Jessica?! This is where you've been? 1874 01:31:12,350 --> 01:31:13,467 [ laughing ] 1875 01:31:13,518 --> 01:31:15,519 I want a dance from you! 1876 01:31:15,603 --> 01:31:16,853 Ye-e-e-ah! 1877 01:31:16,938 --> 01:31:17,837 Mar-- 1878 01:31:17,889 --> 01:31:18,838 Oh. 1879 01:31:19,724 --> 01:31:20,857 Ugh! Oh! 1880 01:31:20,942 --> 01:31:23,109 [ exhales rapidly ] 1881 01:31:23,177 --> 01:31:27,280 So, dancing naked must be fun, huh? 1882 01:31:27,348 --> 01:31:29,483 Yeah, sure... 1883 01:31:29,534 --> 01:31:31,184 Why wouldn't it be? 1884 01:31:31,235 --> 01:31:33,036 Where do you keep your weed, though? 1885 01:31:34,956 --> 01:31:37,324 ♪ give it to me, give it to me ♪ 1886 01:31:37,375 --> 01:31:39,576 Ohhhh. 1887 01:31:39,660 --> 01:31:42,295 That's good. 1888 01:31:42,363 --> 01:31:45,248 I don't have one of those. 1889 01:31:45,333 --> 01:31:47,050 Sure. 1890 01:31:49,870 --> 01:31:52,255 [ romantic music plays ] 1891 01:32:00,515 --> 01:32:02,148 [ sighs ] 1892 01:32:02,216 --> 01:32:03,850 Bye, spence. 1893 01:32:06,320 --> 01:32:08,905 You'll always be my best friend. 1894 01:32:08,990 --> 01:32:10,574 Forever. 1895 01:32:10,658 --> 01:32:12,559 [ sighs ] 1896 01:32:17,698 --> 01:32:19,282 [ exhales sharply ] 1897 01:32:19,367 --> 01:32:20,834 [ laughs ] 1898 01:32:23,421 --> 01:32:25,589 [ introduction to "more than a woman" plays ] 1899 01:32:25,673 --> 01:32:27,123 Billy? 1900 01:32:27,208 --> 01:32:28,575 Hi, mrs. Spencer. 1901 01:32:29,844 --> 01:32:31,911 Mr. Spencer. 1902 01:32:31,963 --> 01:32:33,630 How's it going, booger? 1903 01:32:35,049 --> 01:32:36,916 [ sighs ] 1904 01:32:36,968 --> 01:32:39,386 This isn't the prom. 1905 01:32:39,437 --> 01:32:40,937 Oh, my god. 1906 01:32:41,022 --> 01:32:42,422 [ sighs ] 1907 01:32:42,473 --> 01:32:43,690 ♪ more than a woman ♪ 1908 01:32:43,757 --> 01:32:44,608 ♪ aaaaahhh ♪ 1909 01:32:44,692 --> 01:32:45,892 Anything yet? 1910 01:32:45,943 --> 01:32:47,727 No. 1911 01:32:47,778 --> 01:32:49,362 Oh. 1912 01:32:50,898 --> 01:32:52,732 There you go! Come on, shake it! 1913 01:32:52,783 --> 01:32:54,167 Whoo! You naughty little honeybee. 1914 01:32:54,235 --> 01:32:55,118 Yes, you are! 1915 01:32:56,153 --> 01:32:58,455 Oh! Ho! Whoo! 1916 01:32:58,539 --> 01:33:00,206 [ inhales sharply ] 1917 01:33:00,274 --> 01:33:01,708 Anything yet? 1918 01:33:01,775 --> 01:33:02,775 No. 1919 01:33:02,827 --> 01:33:05,462 I'm all right. I'm o-- 1920 01:33:05,546 --> 01:33:07,464 ♪ hey, yeah, yeah ♪ 1921 01:33:07,548 --> 01:33:10,050 ♪ more than a woman, you'll see ♪ [ giggling ] 1922 01:33:10,117 --> 01:33:11,451 ♪ aah ♪ 1923 01:33:11,502 --> 01:33:13,003 ♪ more than a woman ♪ 1924 01:33:13,087 --> 01:33:14,170 ♪ ye-e-e-e-ah ♪ 1925 01:33:14,255 --> 01:33:15,639 [ boing! ] 1926 01:33:15,723 --> 01:33:17,557 Oh! Oh! Oh! 1927 01:33:17,625 --> 01:33:20,594 Uh-huh. 1928 01:33:20,645 --> 01:33:24,130 ♪ more than a woman ♪ 1929 01:33:24,181 --> 01:33:26,349 Hey, buddy? How about a lap dance? 1930 01:33:26,434 --> 01:33:27,684 ♪ ...You'll see ♪ 1931 01:33:27,768 --> 01:33:29,269 ♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1932 01:33:29,320 --> 01:33:30,970 [ gasps ] 1933 01:33:31,022 --> 01:33:32,739 [ chuckling ] 1934 01:33:32,806 --> 01:33:34,441 [ grunts ] 1935 01:33:34,492 --> 01:33:37,310 ♪ more than a woman, you'll see ♪ 1936 01:33:37,361 --> 01:33:38,445 [ choking ] 1937 01:33:38,496 --> 01:33:41,197 Hey! Can't you read?! 1938 01:33:41,282 --> 01:33:43,199 Monday night's gay night. 1939 01:33:43,284 --> 01:33:45,168 [ choking ] 1940 01:33:45,252 --> 01:33:47,671 [ exhales sharply ] 1941 01:33:49,590 --> 01:33:50,624 What? 1942 01:33:50,675 --> 01:33:53,159 Oh. [ exhales sharply ] 1943 01:33:53,210 --> 01:33:54,344 [ laughs ] 1944 01:33:54,428 --> 01:33:55,828 It's me? 1945 01:33:55,880 --> 01:33:57,597 [ laughing ] 1946 01:33:57,665 --> 01:33:58,765 Really? 1947 01:33:58,832 --> 01:34:00,467 [ uplifting music plays ] 1948 01:34:00,518 --> 01:34:01,851 Oh! 1949 01:34:01,936 --> 01:34:03,303 Oh! 1950 01:34:03,354 --> 01:34:04,721 It is! [ gasps ] 1951 01:34:04,805 --> 01:34:06,022 It really is! 1952 01:34:06,107 --> 01:34:07,857 [ laughing ] oh. 1953 01:34:10,027 --> 01:34:11,194 [ gasps ] 1954 01:34:13,564 --> 01:34:14,681 [ both squealing ] 1955 01:34:14,732 --> 01:34:15,949 [ inhales sharply ] 1956 01:34:16,016 --> 01:34:17,200 Aaah! 1957 01:34:17,284 --> 01:34:19,703 [ all laughing ] 1958 01:34:22,790 --> 01:34:25,375 [ crowd murmuring ] 1959 01:34:29,413 --> 01:34:30,697 Taquito? 1960 01:34:35,920 --> 01:34:37,053 It's really you. 1961 01:34:45,346 --> 01:34:47,480 Billy. 1962 01:34:47,548 --> 01:34:49,432 Mmm... 1963 01:34:49,517 --> 01:34:51,651 [ exhales sharply ] 1964 01:34:51,719 --> 01:34:54,154 Listen, I... I'm so so-- 1965 01:34:54,221 --> 01:34:55,689 Doesn't matter. 1966 01:34:55,740 --> 01:34:57,240 Nothing matters. 1967 01:34:57,324 --> 01:34:59,576 I don't care about the other girl I took to the prom. 1968 01:34:59,660 --> 01:35:01,111 I don't care what jake thinks. 1969 01:35:01,195 --> 01:35:03,062 I don't care that you took my money, 1970 01:35:03,114 --> 01:35:04,831 Stole my dad's car, 1971 01:35:04,898 --> 01:35:06,783 And...Tried to run me down with it. 1972 01:35:06,867 --> 01:35:07,751 No, I -- 1973 01:35:07,835 --> 01:35:09,502 None of that matters. 1974 01:35:09,570 --> 01:35:12,672 [ sighs ] 1975 01:35:12,740 --> 01:35:14,340 I'll even try to find a way 1976 01:35:14,408 --> 01:35:17,961 To get over your new job as an exotic dancer. 1977 01:35:18,045 --> 01:35:19,512 [ exhales sharply ] 1978 01:35:19,580 --> 01:35:20,597 [ chuckles ] 1979 01:35:20,681 --> 01:35:22,132 [ romantic music plays ] 1980 01:35:23,718 --> 01:35:24,968 Billy... 1981 01:35:25,052 --> 01:35:26,386 Do you feel that? 1982 01:35:28,773 --> 01:35:31,307 You are the only boy who makes my heart 1983 01:35:31,392 --> 01:35:34,477 Beat faster and slower at the same time. 1984 01:35:34,562 --> 01:35:36,613 [ sighs ] 1985 01:35:36,697 --> 01:35:38,948 [ music swells ] 1986 01:35:54,548 --> 01:35:56,115 [ sniffles ] 1987 01:35:56,167 --> 01:35:58,451 I'm not pressing charges. 1988 01:36:12,349 --> 01:36:15,268 Hey, you better get back onstage, little lady. 1989 01:36:15,319 --> 01:36:17,937 The only place this little lady is going 1990 01:36:17,988 --> 01:36:20,573 Is home with me and my wife. 1991 01:36:20,641 --> 01:36:23,693 Hey, what kind of a place do you think I'm running here, pal?! 1992 01:36:23,778 --> 01:36:25,662 Class valedictorian -- 1993 01:36:25,746 --> 01:36:28,248 Keecia "ling-ling" jackson. 1994 01:36:28,315 --> 01:36:30,416 [ cheering ] 1995 01:36:30,484 --> 01:36:32,252 Keecia: First of all, 1996 01:36:32,319 --> 01:36:35,755 I'd like to say I'm very proud to be half korean. 1997 01:36:35,823 --> 01:36:38,157 Thank you, honey! 1998 01:36:38,209 --> 01:36:39,592 But don't forget -- 1999 01:36:39,660 --> 01:36:42,679 You're also one-quarter jewish! 2000 01:36:42,763 --> 01:36:44,798 Mazel tov, baby! 2001 01:36:44,849 --> 01:36:46,382 Shalom! 2002 01:36:46,467 --> 01:36:48,635 ♪ I'd do anything ♪ 2003 01:36:48,686 --> 01:36:51,387 ♪ just to hold you in my arms ♪ 2004 01:36:51,472 --> 01:36:53,640 ♪ to try to make you laugh ♪ 2005 01:36:53,691 --> 01:36:55,475 Wait! Wait! 2006 01:36:55,526 --> 01:36:57,443 [ tires squeal ] 2007 01:37:01,315 --> 01:37:02,849 [ music stops ] 2008 01:37:02,900 --> 01:37:04,701 Hey, how's it going? [ inhales sharply ] 2009 01:37:04,785 --> 01:37:06,619 Hey, thanks for helping me out, man. 2010 01:37:06,687 --> 01:37:08,154 You're a good man. You're a good guy. 2011 01:37:08,205 --> 01:37:11,357 [ inhales sharply ] 2012 01:37:11,408 --> 01:37:14,160 [ lou rawls' "you'll never find another love like mine" plays ] 2013 01:37:14,211 --> 01:37:17,029 ♪ you'll never find ♪ 2014 01:37:17,081 --> 01:37:19,549 ♪ another love like mine ♪ 2015 01:37:19,633 --> 01:37:21,134 [ tires squealing ] 2016 01:37:21,201 --> 01:37:22,552 Aaaahhh! 2017 01:37:22,636 --> 01:37:25,889 ♪ it's all right, it's okay ♪ 2018 01:37:25,973 --> 01:37:29,492 ♪ I'll keep holding on today ♪ 2019 01:37:29,560 --> 01:37:36,533 ♪ 'cause I'm waiting for the starlight in your eyes ♪ 2020 01:37:36,600 --> 01:37:40,069 ♪ no more faith, no more hope ♪ 2021 01:37:40,137 --> 01:37:43,873 ♪ all that I can do is grope ♪ 2022 01:37:43,941 --> 01:37:51,531 ♪ for a shred of loving care from my girl ♪ 2023 01:37:51,582 --> 01:37:55,618 ♪ the pain you felt has burdened you ♪ 2024 01:37:55,686 --> 01:37:58,788 ♪ you can't feel love ♪ 2025 01:37:58,856 --> 01:38:02,892 ♪ I'm glad that I have been with you ♪ 2026 01:38:02,960 --> 01:38:05,328 ♪ but that's not enough ♪ 2027 01:38:05,396 --> 01:38:08,865 ♪ in your arms, I would be ♪ 2028 01:38:08,933 --> 01:38:12,535 ♪ overjoyed as any boy ♪ 2029 01:38:12,603 --> 01:38:16,039 ♪ holding on to what he loves ♪ 2030 01:38:16,106 --> 01:38:20,393 ♪ oh, so much ♪ 2031 01:38:20,444 --> 01:38:22,378 [ guitar solo ] 2032 01:38:34,758 --> 01:38:38,494 ♪ the pain you felt has burdened you ♪ 2033 01:38:38,562 --> 01:38:41,864 ♪ you can't feel love ♪ 2034 01:38:41,932 --> 01:38:45,735 ♪ I'm glad that I have been with you ♪ 2035 01:38:45,803 --> 01:38:48,238 ♪ but that's not enough ♪ 2036 01:38:48,305 --> 01:38:51,708 ♪ in your arms, I would be ♪ 2037 01:38:51,775 --> 01:38:55,178 ♪ overjoyed as any boy ♪ 2038 01:38:55,246 --> 01:38:58,681 ♪ holding on to what he loves ♪ 2039 01:38:58,749 --> 01:39:02,185 ♪ oh, so much ♪ 2040 01:39:02,253 --> 01:39:05,855 ♪ holding on to what he loves ♪ 2041 01:39:05,940 --> 01:39:09,359 ♪ oh, so much ♪ 2042 01:39:09,426 --> 01:39:13,029 ♪ holding on to what he loves ♪ 2043 01:39:13,097 --> 01:39:17,867 ♪ oh, so much ♪ 2044 01:39:25,926 --> 01:39:27,159 Man: Action! 2045 01:39:27,211 --> 01:39:29,929 April: Okay, let's think. 2046 01:39:29,997 --> 01:39:32,849 What could have caused this? 2047 01:39:35,853 --> 01:39:37,136 [ scoffs ] 2048 01:39:37,187 --> 01:39:39,305 No clue. 2049 01:39:39,356 --> 01:39:42,225 I mean, my house is built on an old indian burial ground -- 2050 01:39:42,309 --> 01:39:45,011 Sorry. Let's try again. 2051 01:39:45,062 --> 01:39:47,113 Okay, let's think. 2052 01:39:47,180 --> 01:39:49,515 What could have caused this? 2053 01:39:55,372 --> 01:39:56,656 [ laughs ] 2054 01:39:56,707 --> 01:39:58,041 Sorry. 2055 01:39:59,243 --> 01:40:01,627 Okay, let's think. 2056 01:40:01,695 --> 01:40:03,796 What could have caused this? 2057 01:40:03,864 --> 01:40:06,198 [ scoffs ] no clue. 2058 01:40:08,869 --> 01:40:10,470 [ scoffs ] 2059 01:40:10,537 --> 01:40:12,588 One more time. 2060 01:40:12,673 --> 01:40:14,707 What could have caused this? 2061 01:40:22,016 --> 01:40:25,518 [ laughing ] 2062 01:40:25,569 --> 01:40:27,487 [ laughing ] okay, one more time. 2063 01:40:27,554 --> 01:40:28,521 [ sighs ] 2064 01:40:28,572 --> 01:40:30,273 Okay, let's think. 2065 01:40:30,357 --> 01:40:32,275 What could have caused this? 2066 01:40:32,359 --> 01:40:34,193 [ laughing ] 2067 01:40:36,697 --> 01:40:38,031 [ laughing ] okay. 2068 01:40:38,082 --> 01:40:39,582 Okay, one more time. I'm ready. 2069 01:40:47,207 --> 01:40:48,708 [ laughs ] 2070 01:40:50,878 --> 01:40:53,880 [ laughs ] 2071 01:40:53,931 --> 01:40:55,631 [ laughing ] okay, I'll get it. 2072 01:40:55,716 --> 01:40:57,383 I'm used to it. 2073 01:41:04,808 --> 01:41:07,143 I've got cheerleading practice, the prom. 2074 01:41:07,227 --> 01:41:09,278 [ sighs deeply ] 2075 01:41:09,363 --> 01:41:11,614 [ laughing ] 2076 01:41:11,698 --> 01:41:13,649 Oh [bleep] h-hang on. 2077 01:41:13,734 --> 01:41:14,934 Action! 2078 01:41:16,203 --> 01:41:18,538 [ scoffs ] no clue. 2079 01:41:21,608 --> 01:41:22,775 [ laughing ] 2080 01:41:22,826 --> 01:41:23,910 Woman: Cut! 2081 01:41:23,961 --> 01:41:24,944 [ bleep ] 2082 01:41:24,995 --> 01:41:26,462 Man: Action! 2083 01:41:26,547 --> 01:41:29,298 [ scoffs ] no clue. 2084 01:41:29,383 --> 01:41:32,451 I mean, my house is built on an old indian burial ground. 2085 01:41:32,503 --> 01:41:34,720 [ scoffs, laughing ] 2086 01:41:36,757 --> 01:41:37,974 Sorr-- 2087 01:41:38,058 --> 01:41:40,593 Aha! Here we go. 2088 01:41:40,644 --> 01:41:41,627 Sorry. 2089 01:41:43,230 --> 01:41:44,463 Man: Action! 2090 01:41:44,515 --> 01:41:46,298 No clue. 2091 01:41:46,350 --> 01:41:48,935 [ scoffs ] 2092 01:41:48,986 --> 01:41:50,653 I mean -- [ laughs ] 2093 01:41:50,737 --> 01:41:52,688 [ laughing ] sorry. I'll get through it. 2094 01:41:52,773 --> 01:41:55,141 Aaah! Here we go. I'm sorry. Give me that. 2095 01:41:55,192 --> 01:41:56,993 Aaah! [ bleep ] 2096 01:41:57,077 --> 01:42:00,813 Are you saying... 2097 01:42:00,864 --> 01:42:03,032 People think I'm perfect? 2098 01:42:06,503 --> 01:42:08,654 [ laughing ] 2099 01:42:08,705 --> 01:42:11,824 Are you saying... 2100 01:42:11,875 --> 01:42:13,709 People think I'm perfect? 2101 01:42:17,664 --> 01:42:19,799 [ laughing ] 2102 01:42:19,850 --> 01:42:20,716 Sorry. 2103 01:42:22,519 --> 01:42:25,805 Are you saying... 2104 01:42:25,856 --> 01:42:28,024 People think I'm perfect? 2105 01:42:32,679 --> 01:42:34,864 [ laughing ] 2106 01:42:34,948 --> 01:42:37,066 Okay. [ laughing ] okay. 2107 01:42:37,151 --> 01:42:38,784 Then we got it? 2108 01:42:38,852 --> 01:42:40,286 I think we got it. All right. 2109 01:42:40,353 --> 01:42:42,872 [ up-tempo music plays ] 2110 01:44:10,727 --> 01:44:12,228 [ music ends ] 140507

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