Original subtitles

- You got any grout?

I need grout.

- Don't give it to him.

He wants to destroy robbie's room.

- Why?

- I'm building myself a lounge--

A big lounge.

I'm going to call it frank's lounge.

- Lounge, he wants to make

A giant bathroom for himself.

We're leaving robbie's room just the way it is

For when he comes back.

- He's not coming back. He's happy where he is.

- Bite your tongue. With any luck,

Right now he's miserable.

- Then I'll turn ray's room into the lounge.

He's not coming back.

- You never know.

- Just say the word, marie.

- Raymond, have you called robbie?

- Talk to her. She's the wife.

She's the one who's supposed to call people.

- Come on. You're his brother.

You've never even seen his place,

And he and amy broke up.

You know, you should go over there.

- Yeah, well, I've been busy with--

With ally's shoes

And golf balls in the toilet.

- You have to go over and see his new place, raymond,

And report back.

- What, do you want me to wear a wire?

- That's up to you.

- Ma, look, why don't you just go there?

- We're waiting for an invitation.

It would be rude for us to just barge in.

- Oh, c-could you hold the elevator, please?

- Ow, ow.

- Thanks so much.

Eight, please.

Hi, I'm michelle.

- Oh.

Like the beatles.

That was kind of their french song--

Michelle. Yeah.

You probably get that a lot.

- Yeah. [laughs]

But I like it.

- [giggles]

- What floor are you going to?

- I don't know.

[knock at door]

- Hey, ray. Come on in.

- I need some water.

- Oh, yeah, yeah. Kitchen.

So you finally made it over.

What do you think?

- Nice elevator.

Met your neighbor michelle.

- Yeah, michelle. 8-d.

She's always coming over here wanting to borrow detergent.

- You're kidding me.

- I'm gonna cut her off.

It's the only way she'll learn to buy her own.

- That girl's been here?

With dirty clothes?

- Oh, yeah.

[knock at door]

- Hi, robert.

- Hey, sandy.

- Can I use your phone?

I'm locked out of my apartment.

- Again?

- Sorry.

I should just give you a spare key.

- Yes.

- All right. You know where the phone is.

- Hi.

- That's my brother ray.

- What's shakin'?

This is a fantastic apartment.

- Eh, the parking's bad,

The place is kind of dark, and I got to tell you,

This carpet, it's a little rough on the flippers.

- Oh, really?

I didn't notice 'cause I was too busy

Looking at all the women.

There's women everywhere.

- Thanks, robert.

It was nice to meet you, ray.

- Ditto.

What--

Are you the only man in this building?

- No, there's some male nurses and flight attendants.

- So then this is, like, your kingdom.

Oh, my god. The castle has a hot tub.

- Yeah, good luck getting in there.

The girls are always hogging it.

- Look at 'em.

Hey, y-you haven't actually gone out

With any of these women, have you?

And if you have, please, talk slow.

- Come on, ray. You've seen pretty girls before.

- Yeah, before. Way before.

What the hell is wrong with you, robert?

This is a very nice place to live.

- So you--you really like it, huh?

I've never been more jealous of you in my life.

Hey, krispy kreme.

- Hey.

How's robert's apartment coming?

- Ah, a lot to do there still.

- Really?

How much work does the place need?

You've been over there a couple of times

This week already.

- Yeah.

Listen, you know, it's not really about the work.

- Yeah, I know.

It's about robert feeling lonely, huh?

- That's right.

He's really vulnerable right now, you know?

It's, uh, it's touch-and-go,

Emotionally speaking.

- You know what I think?

- What?

- I think it's great. It's just great.

You're really being a brother to him.

- Yeah, well, he's a great guy, robert.

You know, I-I just want what's breast for him.

- What?

- What?

- You just said, "breast."

"I just--I just want what's breast for him."

- I did not.

Why would I say that?

I have no reason to say it.

You must've heard me wrong.

- No, it's okay, ray.

It was just funny. You said breast.

- I did not, and it's not funny.

How you jump down my throat over a silly mix-up.

- What is wrong with you?

- I'm very, very tired.

- Yeah. Well, listen, honey, give yourself a break.

You know, robert can manage.

- Oh, sure, I say one thing wrong,

And all of a sudden I can't go over there anymore, right?

- You just said that you were tired

From going over there.

- I am!

It's like when you were nursing and you got tired,

But you still continued to nurse

Because the children need you,

And this had nothing to do with breasts.

- So, ray, what do you do over there?

Ray?

Ray.

- What? What?

- You like it over at robert's apartment, don't you?

- I don't like it. It's just a dumb apartment.

- Yeah, I bet it's a lot more fun over there

Than it is here.

- How can it be more fun?

There's--there's no you over there.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's right,

And there's no responsibility,

And there's no kids.

- Hey, that's not my rule, all right?

That's in his lease.

- Oh, uh-huh.

- Listen, if it bothers you, I'd just as soon not go, okay?

I don't have to go. I don't like to go.

I don't need to go.

I mean, I don't need to be always cheering robert up, okay?

So, as a matter of fact, thank you.

Thank you very much,

'cause I'm just gonna tell robert,

"look, that's it for me, all right? That's it.

No if, ands, or buts, okay?"

And that's "but" with one "t", all right?

So just clean it up a little, all right?

[yawns]

Good night. Good night.

[buzzer]

Hey, how you doing?

Holy moly.

Aah!

- Raymond. Hi, honey.

Come on in, sweetie.

I'm just helping robbie.

- Hey, ray. How you doing?

- All right. What's she doing here?

- I hired her to clean.

- I brought those picture hooks that you wanted.

So when's mom leaving?

'cause, you know,

We got a lot of pictures to hang here.

- Hey, ray. - What are you doing here?

- I'm here for the broads.

- Dad, a little less obvious, please.

I have to live here.

At least crouch down behind the plant

The way ray does.

- You know, robbie,

I've never been in a hot tub.

I should bring my suit next time.

- I think the building might bring a suit--

Indecent exposure.

- All right, all right.

- Inciting to riot.

- Frank.

- Water pollution.

- Why don't you go down in the hot tub?

I'm sure the girls would love to watch a pot roast boil.

- Okay, hey, thanks for coming by.

- Okay, raymond.

- Yeah, yeah. I got to go home.

I got to do some work on my lounge.

- What lounge?

- Oh, your father's turning your bedroom

Into a bathroom.

Good-bye, dear.

- A bathroom?

- Yeah, and now I'm thinking of putting in

One of those hot tubs as part of phase two.

- What was phase one?

- Getting you out.

- I'm not holding the elevator, frank.

- On to phase three.

- Hey, look at that. You got a message there.

- Yeah.

- Hi, robert. It's me.

- Michelle. - I know.

- Just called to say hi.

Hi.

[beep]

- Play it again.

- Come on. What's wrong with you?

- Did you ask her out yet?

- What do you care if I ask her out?

- Somebody I know should ask her out.

[knock at door]

- Hey, sandy.

- Hi, robert.

Sorry to bother you.

- No, that's okay. Come on in.

- This is my roommate jessica.

- Hi, jessica. - Hi.

- That's my brother raymond.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi, ray. - Hi.

- Listen, robert, this Saturday

Is our big party for the ninth floor.

- Mm-hmm, last year the police had to come,

So this year we figured we'd save some time

And just invite one.

- So we're, uh, collecting money for food and snacks

And, you know, cocktails. - Yes.

- I'm in. [chuckles]

Let me get my checkbook.

- So, you two are brothers.

- I'm married.

- That's nice.

Hey, do you have anything to drink?

- I don't know.

I-I guess I could look.

Should I?

- You have any sparkling water?

- Sparkling water, yeah. Uh, all right.

Uh, let me look. Sparkling--

- Hey, you're, uh, losing your barrette here.

- Oh. Where? - On this side.

I got it. - Thanks.

Just fix it a little bit there.

- You know, you should wear your hair up sometime.

- You think so?

- Oh, yeah. It'd look great.

- Okay, you really--you really like it better like this?

- Yeah. It shows off your neck.

- I never wear it up because I have a small forehead,

So I just don't. You should too, though.

[knock on door] oh, that looks pretty.

- Hello.

- Hi. - Hi.

- [burps]

- Here's your money, girls.

Hi, deb.

- Thanks.

- And we don't usually take checks.

[laughter]

- Well, we should get out of your way.

I see your housekeeper's here.

- Bye. Bye.

- Bye, now.

- Yeah, hey.

Honey, hi.

Hey, what's up? How are you?

- Oh, you know, just trying to make ends meet.

It's hard for a housekeeper.

- [laughs]

Yeah, that's obviously 'cause of the sheets and the towels,

You know what I'm saying?

They would've called you the statue of liberty--

Who, by the way, is a sexy, sexy lady.

- So, deb, is all that for me?

- Yes.

- Oh, that's sweet, honey. Thank you.

- Yeah, well, I brought robert some towels and linens

Because I wanted to, you know, spruce the place up

Since he's been so depressed.

- Depressed?

- Yeah, yeah, I told debra how you were depressed,

You know, and how I was helping you with that,

You know, and that's why I was over here so much.

Well, you know what? Debra's never been here.

So maybe she should take the grand tour of it.

- O-okay.

The grand tour.

Well, over here, as you can see,

We have the kitchen,

And there is the fireplace,

And back here is the bedroom,

A very big walk-in closet.

[shuts door]

- He's not coming back, is he?

Listen, you know, nothing was going on.

Nothing--nothing happened.

Nothing would happen. Nothing--

- I know.

- You do?

- Well, god, ray.

I mean, come on. I saw those women.

Like you had a shot.

- All right. Okay, you're hurt.

You're lashing out now.

- Listen, all I want to know is,

Why do you have to lie to me?

- I don't have to. It's...

Just my way.

- "robert's touch-and-go, emotionally speaking"?

I mean, why don't you just say,

"I'm going over to robert's to look at pretty girls"?

- I got to be honest with you.

It never occurred to me to say that.

- Yeah, that's right, because I would have said no.

And you would have to stop

Living vicariously through robert.

- That's right. Vicariously.

Vicariously. Just looking.

Not thinking, not moving,

Just thanking god for the blessing

That is my beautiful wife

While I hang pictures, vicariously.

- I'm going home now. - Me too, you know?

I was just thinking, "I wish I was home right now."

- We'll see you later, robert.

- Uh, wait, deb, look, before you go,

I was in there-- hiding,

But really thinking about what ray had said before,

And, um, believe it or not,

There's actually some truth to it.

- It's okay, robert. It's over.

It's all over.

- No, no, I--I'm serious, you know?

When I first moved in here,

I was kind of depressed.

I was away from my family.

I lost my girlfriend.

And then ray came over,

And he kind of liked the place.

And for once I had something

That he thought was something,

And it made the whole place better.

- For robert.

- It's true; you know, me and raymond,

We really don't get to hang out together that much,

And, uh, it's been--

It's been good.

- All right, all right, ray.

Ray, I see you patting him. I see you.

You know, I-I actually like

You guys spending time together.

- Robert was thinking we should

Spend time together Saturday nights.

- Well, you know, spend as much time together as you want.

- Really? - At our house.

- Fine by me.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- I tell you what, I'll come over Friday,

'cause Saturday night, I'm going to that party.

- Some lounge, huh?

108 degrees of fun.

- Yeah, how about, uh,

Six degrees of separation?

- I can't believe this.

My bed used to be right here.

- You can't tell me you miss it.

I mean, look at this.

You know, hef has the same model

In the playboy mansion.

- Here you go, boys. [chuckles]

Enjoy yourselves. [giggles]

- Somehow, it's not the same.