Original subtitles

( sighs )

So did you like\Nthe movie?

I think the movie\Nwas good. Yeah.

It was very entertaining.

What about you?

l liked it.

It wasn't what l expected.

Too many people\Nin this movie theater.

Yeah?

l don't do very well\Nwith crowds.

( laughs )\NI know.

It was great,\Nyou know,

very well done,\Nvery well done.

And the way he\Ndescribes, you know,

the different steps that\Nled him to do that--

that's what's interesting.

It's a documentary\Nkind of movie.

l thought it wasn't\Ngoing to happen.

They kept saying, "Oh, we're not gonna\Nget away with this."

And they did.\Nl was surprised.

Yeah, it was good.

Would you watch it again?

Yeah.

Sorry to interrupt.\NHave you decided on a wine this evening?

- Yes.\N- What would you like?

Can--

- red is good for you?\N- Yeah.

Can we get\Na bottle of--

The first time he asked for money\Nwas two years ago.

The second time--\Nsix months ago.

And now, two days ago,

he's asking\Nfor some more.

And he's a friend.

And, you know, l help him.

But it's a lot of money\Nwe're talking about.

And it never ends.

So what do l do?

What would you do?

It sounds like he's\Ntaking advantage of you.

It's good to see you.

It's always good\Nto see you.

Thank you.

Come here.

Man:\NAttaboy.

Get 'em. Get 'em.

Good.\N20, 19,

18, 17.\NFocus.

16, 15, 14...

Two.

Good stall here.\NGood stall.

Beautiful, Zizzo.\NDrop it down.

Attaboy.\NGood set.

Ow.

- I'm just kidding.\N- How're you feeling?

- All right.\N- Eat your Wheaties this morning?

- My Wheaties?\N- Yeah.

l had my Muscle Milk this morning,\NWheaties after.

So what's going down?\NWhat's new?

You want to hear everything\Nor just recent things?

Let's start at two or three\Nand work your way up.

Let me ask you\Na question.

Yeah.

What are you doing\Nthis weekend?

What am l doing\Nthis weekend?

No, the other trainer\NI'm working with.

- l don't know. l don't know.\N- l do.

Phillip:\NChelsea, I'm ordering breakfast.

Do you know\Nwhat you want?

I'll just have whatever you're having.\NThank you.

What about the bailout?\NHow do you think that's going to turn out?

That's not gonna work.

You need more money\Nin the system,

a lot more money than\Nwhat the government is putting in.

It's just\Nthe beginning.

So l don't know\Nwhat to tell you.

I think it's better\Nto stay cash and...

that's what l do anyway.

- So it's good for me.\N- No, it's not.

It's a different concept\Nof where the economy happens.

Obama is saying that, bottoms up,\Nwe have a consumer economy.

70% of this economy\Nis a consumer economy.

He's gonna stimulate\Nthe entire economy

by going after the 70%.

Yeah, by taking our money\Nand giving it to them.

"Let me take yours, give it to him\Nand he'll spend it."

That's true.\NThat's true.

If we're gonna talk\Nabout stimulus packages,

let's talk about the stimulus of our\Nown packages, okay?

$700 fucking billion.

ls what, you know--

we're gonna be paying for all of this shit\Nfor a long fucking time.

Man:\NUs? Not him? Us?

You guys are gonna be paying for it\Nfor a long time.

l am gonna be enjoying this\Nfor a very long time.

( speaking French )

I'm out of here.

Thank you very much.

- l hope I'll see you soon.\N- Me too.

- Take care.\N- You too.

Chelsea's voice:\Nl met with Phillip on October 5th and 6th.

l wore a Michael Kors\Ndress and shoes with La Perla--

l wore a Michael Kors\Ndress and shoes

with La Perla lingerie underneath

and diamond stud earrings.

We met at 7:30 at the hotel\Nand had a drink downstairs.

He liked my dress\Nbut didn't go into detail why

and didn't mention anything else\Nabout my appearance.

Man:\NSo how did it go?

It was fine.\NWe had a nice dinner.

You know, went back\Nto the hotel.

But he's very well endowed

and sometimes l just can't\Nhandle him that long.

Lucky for me, though,\Nhe's attractive,

so that helps and\Nl at least enjoy myself.

But it was weird\Nwhen l left.

He didn't even stand up

to hug me or say goodbye\Nor kiss me on the cheek.

It was a very\Nawkward departure.

He's never done\Nthat before.

Chelsea's voice:\NWe ate dinner at Blue Hill.

Phillip didn't ask for a menu

and had the chef serve us\Na five-course meal,

a different wine\Nwith each course.

We went to the 9:40 showing\Nof "Man On Wire"

at the Sunshine Cinema.\NAnd he liked the movie.

We went back to the hotel\Nand talked for half an hour,

mostly about\Na friend of his

that keeps borrowing money from him\Nand not paying it back.

Then we had sex for about an hour.\NAfter, we talked about--

after, we talked for about 15 minutes\Nand he fell asleep.

At breakfast he briefly told me\Nhis worries regarding the economy

and said l should invest\Nmy money in gold.

He also mentioned a book about how\Nthe federal reserve works.

He didn't make\Nanother appointment.

Sometimes clients think\Nthey want the real you,

but at the end\Nof the day they don't.

They want what they want you to be.\NThey want you to be

something else.\NThey don't want you to be yourself.

Suppose I'm that rare client\Nthat really wants to--

If they wanted\Nyou to be yourself,

they wouldn't be\Npaying you.

l know you've been buying\Nfive sessions at a time.

Right.

You realize you're losing money\Nby doing that, right?

But I'm taking it\Nas it goes, you know?

l know. l hear that.\NBut the whole thing is

if you buy more sessions, obviously\Nyou're gonna save a lot of money.

l think our relationship is good.\NYou're liking what we're doing.

- You do a great job.\N- You're looking good.

You've gained 5 lbs of muscle.

- You're on your way to a six-pack.\N- I'm trying.

l don't think our relationship\Nis going to end soon.

So my suggestion would be\Nlet's have you buy a bigger package--

- like 25 or 50.\N- What did l do last time? 10?

- You did five.\N- That went quick.

So if you did 25 or 50, you'd be saving,\Nlike, 20 bucks per session.

So you're looking\Nat saving $400.

And l know times are crazy,\Nbut that's my point.

I know what I pay for five.\NWhat's it go up to from there?

You pay $150 for five.

And you'll end up\Npaying $1 25

if you end up\Ngetting 25 sessions.

You are the beautiful,\Nyoung ingénue accompanying--

Let me ask you\Na question.

Not to pry,\Nbut you guys--

l mean, you guys\Nare hurting.

Everybody's hurting right now.\NHow do you--

you're gonna spend money?\NYou're going to do this?

Self-medicating.

Don't worry about that.

- Trainer: I'm good?\N- If l was hurting, l wouldn't go.

l can't afford\Nto go to Vegas.

You don't have to\Nafford to go to Vegas.

l can afford for you\Nto go to Vegas.

We all can afford for you\Nto go to Vegas.

In fact, we almost\Ncan't afford for you not to go.

You gotta come,\Ndude, seriously.

All right, let me see\Nwhat l can do.

( doorbell rings )

Hi, Chris.\Nl have a package for you.

Thank you very much.\NHave a good day.

Thanks.

I'm starving.

Chelsea:\NHow was work?

Work was good--\Na little crazy.

l trained Zizzo.

He was trying\Nto convince me to go

to some crazy\Ntrip in Vegas.

Vegas?

Yeah, boys' trip\Nto Vegas this weekend.

l told him l didn't think\Nyou'd approve of that.

You didn't think what?

l didn't think that you would\Napprove of that.

Not so much.\NNot if l can't go.

How many of these trips\Nhave there been?

One.\NIt's all one.

It just all\Nblends into one.

We amortize it\Nover a lifetime.

It's an investment\Nfor the lifetime.

But we have a two-week timeshare\Nin two-day slots.

It becomes\None big trip.

"Remember when we went?\NWasn't that the same?"

It's all one trip.\NIt just continues.

We wear these outfits\Nevery single time.

Yeah, like you can\Nstill fit into one.

( all laughing )

Do you get bored\Nof just talking to rich people?

It can get tedious.

- It can get tedious? Why?\N- It can.

You really have to adapt\Nand become something that they want.

Oh, God.

l mean, do you find\Nyourself caring at all?

l do.

l think you're getting\Na little worked up about it, though.

Because the economy\Nis fucked.

And my business is fucked.

I'm making 1/10\Nof what l made two years ago.

It's just getting\Nworse and worse.

And this is something\Nthat will fall by the wayside

if l can't get it together.

And I've aged out\Nof the business also.

So l show up on the set\Nand people ask me--

they think l worked\Non "McHale's Navy" or something.

Did that other show\Nget picked up?

Yeah, it might have\Ngotten picked up,

but it's not a sure thing.\NAnd it's not enough

to maintain what I'm\Nkind of used to.

You don't think so?

l can't tell. l don't know what\Nthe fuck's going on

in the business\Nanywhere anymore.

( exhales )

Well, anyway,\Nthanks for listening.

I've been in so many relationships\Nwhere nobody listens.

l definitely think relationships are about\Ncommunication, don't you?

God, totally.

Jesus, that's why we--\Nit's completely two-way.

We're constantly\Nexchanging kind of what we think.

l mean, that's how\Npeople relate.

It's just so fucking ridiculous

the way everybody wants\Nsomething completely one-sided,

want something for nothing.

Sorry, my hands are\Nreally cold.

It's okay.\NI'll warm them up.

Man:\NMy first thought is that l do like it.

l do like it.

It's just that, I'll tell you,\Nright now

it's a tough time for me to start\Npioneering a new line like this.

The economy right now\Nis really in the toilet.

And we got a store\Nfull of stuff.

And we have stuff\Nthat somewhat competes

with this type\Nof garment right now.

Chris:\NRight.

Man:\NI'd like to show it real quick

to Marvin, just to get an idea\Nof what he thinks.

I'm thinking\Nright now, no.

But I'm thinking\Nmaybe down the road we can try it.

Marv.

l would definitely be okay with it being\Non consignment.

Because at least it gets a chance\Nto be out on the floor

and we see how it does.\NYou have a very big store

and I'm sure we could find\Na little bit of space.

I know it's going to sell.\Nl know people are gonna buy it.

I'm okay with that.

If it doesn't sell,\Nthen I'll take it back.

But l would like to have it out there\Nfor the Christmas season

because that's when\Npeople are buying things.

Chelsea:\NOn October 18th l met with Dennis.

We had lunch at Nobu\Nand then went to a hotel room.

During lunch he talked about\Nthe financial crisis.

When we got back\Nto the room

he immediately\Ngot on the phone

and ordered some\NMacallan 25.

I put on\Na Kiki de Montparnasse corset,

panties, and gloves.

The shoes were\Nbasic Zara.

After he got off the phone\Nwe made out for a while.

Then he asked me\Nto masturbate, which l did.

Then he masturbated\Nwatching me.

He made another appointment\Nfor November 3rd.

Man: l think one element\Nthat could be improved on

is the photography.

It should have\Nbetter pictures.

l have pictures l can give you.\NThat's not a problem.

Are they really\Ntop-quality pictures?

They should look like\N"Playboy" pictures.

Yeah, they're perfect.

Yeah? Okay.\NThat's important.

And we could improve the logo\Nand general style of the site,

make it look\Nmuch more high-class.

Okay, l also wanted to--

l don't know exactly\Nhow you do this,

but l would really like it

if my site would come up\Nin the search engines.

You know, like--

l don't know exactly\Nhow you do that,

but when you Google\N"escorts," l come up.

It's a little tricky.\NIt'll take some time.

But one good idea is\Nto get yourself listed

in a lot of directories\Nand review sites.

The more links there are\Nto your site,

the better your rankings\Nin the search engines are gonna be.

- You can do that?\N- l can help with that.

But that takes\Nmonthly work,

if you want to work out a monthly\Nmaintenance contract...

How much?

You have to continually\Nupdate it every month.

How much would you charge\Njust to design it?

About 1500 bucks.

And how soon could you\Nget it done?

l could only work\Nafter hours here, so...

- Man: Nine to one.\N- Man #2: Nine to one?

- Man #3: 2 1/2 to one.\N- l can do two to one.

Man #1 : He supposedly has 400\Nelectoral votes against 100.

Two to one, Obama.\N$1 00-- two to one.

- Man #2: I'm in.\N- $100, two to one.

What do you got?\NI'm taking action right now.

- I'm taking Obama.\N- I took McCain.

- Well, then stay in touch.\N- Exactly.

He's not going anywhere.

Man #1 :\NWhy? You getting fired tomorrow?

Man over phone:\NCan we sort of start over here?

l am not trying\Nto tell you

how to run your business.

I'm trying to help you\Nenhance your business.

And l think l can do that.

If I didn't think\Nl could do that,

l wouldn't have taken\Nan interest in you.

You seem like\Na pretty smart girl.

Are you familiar\Nwith an escort named Tara?

I'm not.

Okay, well, you might\Nwant to check out

some of the stuff\Nthat's been posted about this Tara

on the Erotic Connoisseur.

l don't usually like\Nchecking out reviews.

Well, let me tell you\Na little story

about what happened\Nto Tara.

Tara is 20 years old,\Nkind of came in here

just falling off the turnip truck,\Ndoing her own thing.

And when l put up\Nthe reviews,

her rate started going up.\NDo you understand?

This is making you\Nmore upscale than you've ever been.

You think you know\Nan idea of upscale,

but what I'm offering you\Nis upscale beyond.

So...

so anyhow,

do you have to develop\Nbusiness skills?

Who does your books?

That's something\NI'd rather not answer, actually.

Well, I'm not gonna--\Nlet's just say, do you keep books?

l do. Let's just say\Nl have a few people that help me out.

Let's keep it at that.

Man:\Nl think you want to look at this time

as a time to actually\Nget more invested.

Personally, my wife and I\Nhave gotten more aggressive.

We set up a 529\Nfor our young son.

We wanted to get\Nmore involved

because you don't see these levels,\Nthese opportunities very often.

If you sit back\Nlike everyone else and sell,

you're actually going\Nagainst the grain

of what you should be doing-- investing.\NIt's important.

How's your wife?\NHow's Rachel?

She's better.\NThanks for asking.

Yeah, of course.\NHow's your son?

He's good too.\NEveryone's well.

Every family right now feels stress.\NWe watch the news.

We watch this\Npresidential election

and this campaign.\NAnd it's stressful

to wonder where\Nour country's going.

Definitely.

I think sometimes\Nyou gotta turn it off.

l can't even listen to it.

I think, more importantly,\Nyou have to look at your career, really.

I see your numbers.\NYou're good at what you do.

You could possibly be\Nthe best at what you do. You're amazing.

But let's not rest\Non our laurels here.

There's more things\Nyou could be doing.

Like what?

It just seems like\Neverything changes.

A reflection point like this\Nallows you to see what's changed.

l asked you to meet with Michael\Nfor that exact reason.

l think he has\Na really good view

of what's going on\Nin your market

and could take you\Nto the next level.

What exactly does he want?\NWhat exactly does he do?

Michael: What differentiates you\Nfrom those other women

will make these other\Nbusinesses grow for you.

So l do understand it,\Nbut l just wanted to say that.

Besides that,\Nthere's other things.

There's so many things\Nthat you can do

that will allow you\Nto continue having your anonymity,

but you can continue\Nto grow your business.

Here's an example--\Ndo you really think

some woman would take her\N16-17-year-old daughter

to my boutique if they knew\NI was an escort?

If it was a sex boutique\Nand it was a couple,

that'd be a different story,\Nbut that's not what I'm interested in.

I'm not trying to be insensitive to that.\Nl get that.

I'm just trying to make sure\Nyou understand

there's an opportunity lost\Nif you don't take advantage of that.

In what other ways\Ncould l do that where I'm safe?

Well, like, you could\Nwrite a book.

We could do a movie\Nabout your life.

Right now\Nthat's really hot.

People are making\Nmovies like that.

There's Tara right there.\NTara.

Sugar!

- How are you?\N- How are you?

- This is Chelsea.\N- Hi. Nice to meet you.

l have to get out of here.\NThanks for lunch.

- It was nice to see you.\N- You too.

We have 20 minutes.\NWant to grab a drink?

I'd love a drink\Nright now.

- How was your flight?\N- It was good.

- Where are you staying?\N- I'm staying at the "W."

Zizzo:\NThat's why we brought you.

He wants someone\Nto like him for him.

Absolutely.\NAt least for an hour.

Exactly.

I fall in love\Nevery time l go to Vegas.

So you're trying to meet\Nthe girl of your dreams in Vegas?

No.

l haven't seen you\Nin almost two weeks now.

Yeah, it's a long time.

l know. God.

It's good to see you.

It's good\Nto see you too.

How long have l been\Ncoming here?

Two and a half years.

God, two and a half years.

It's not that long.

- Not that long?\N- No.

It feels like--

it doesn't feel\Nlike a long time.

It's been fun.

But it just feels\Nlike you're a big part of my life.

l look up and suddenly\Nyou're a big part of my life.

I'd like to think so.

- Yeah?\N- Yeah.

You have a lot\Nof makeup on today.

- Do I?\N- Yeah.

l like it. It's just--

did someone else\Nhave you do that

or did you just\Ndo it on your own?

I did it myself.\NThis is how it usually is.

Chelsea's voice:\NOn October 25th l met with Dan.

l wore a vintage black\Ncashmere sweater,

Earnest Sewn jeans

and Pour la Victoire boots.

Dan talked\Nthe entire time.

We didn't have sex.

He was very upset\Nabout a contract

his firm lost to l.M. Pei.

He set a date\Nfor Tuesday.

Man:\NThey gave us a booth

and started doing\Nthe bottle service,

bringing all this shit.

We were totally hammered.\NAs we're leaving,

some other manager\Ncomes in and decides not to comp it.

It was, like, 10 grand.

10 grand was\Nour bar bill.

- Are you fucking kidding me?\N- Isn't that sick?

That's a big bar bill.\N( laughs )

Oh, I'm sure it was a lot of\Nchampagne, wine.

l don't even know.\NThere was a little ring of us.

Then it grew.\NAnd by the time there was that outer ring,

l think strangers were just ordering\Nbuckets of beer

- and champagne and shit.\N- Oh my God.

It was so fun, though.\Nl think he charged the movie.

She needs to get\None of those--

what do they call those things?\NIt's like a vaporizer.

She did.\NIt didn't last long.

Didn't get her\Nhigh enough?

l don't know\Nwhat it was.

My buddy tried one,\Nbut he didn't like it.

He's been smoking\Na long time

and he missed the burn\Nand the coughing in the lungs.

He needed it. The clean thing\Nwasn't enough for him.

Chelsea?

- Hi.\N- Hello.

l thought\Nthat was you.

Hi. I'm Ken.

- How are you? David.\N- Hi, David.

I'm just taking off,\Nbut l thought I'd say hi.

David:\NSee you.

And how's Sheila?

She's doing good.\NShe's doing good.

There's always gonna be\Nold people too,

no matter what's going on\Nwith the economy.

She's doing okay,\Nstill at the center,

even though she's a little afraid\Nthat, you know--

cutbacks, recession,\Ndepression--

they might lose their funding.\NBut that's a long way off.

We should\Nget together soon.

Yeah, we should\Nget together.

l think she'd like that again.\NThat'd be nice.

How could you believe\Nthat a girl is into you

if you're paying her to be with you?\NOn a certain level

you feel like it's bullshit.\NThat would be so present in my mind.

Because you want her to,\Nand she's showing you!

On a certain level\Na lot of guys would think

"There's no way this girl\Ncan be really into me

if l have to pay her\Nto be with me."

- Chris.\N- Jess, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.\NCome into my office.

- How're you doing?\N- Great. This place is beautiful.

Chris's voice:\NAre you looking at expansion?

It looks like\Nyou're well-funded.

You already have\Nfour locations.

How aggressive\Nare you about finding other locations?

We do not want\Nto take over the world.

But we do want\Nto expand our facilities.

We want about 10 clubs\Nin the area,

but we certainly don't want\Nto take over the world.

We want to maintain\Na boutiquelike operating style

so that we can cater\Nto each member.

So many of the corporate\Nmonsters out there

are very rigid\Nin their policies,

and that's the last thing\Nthat we want to do.

The problem is,\Nwith gyms it's hard for the--

A: I have to take\Ncare of my client,

but B: l need the facility\Nto take care of my client.

They're with me\Nfor one hour,

but in the gym\Nfor the whole year.

l think l hear that that's very important\Nto you guys. Yes?

Absolutely.\NAbsolutely.

If you look at the club alone,\Nit's a $15-million facility.

So we have to maintain\Nretention with our members.

So if we're not getting results,\Nguess what-- they're gone.

I was wondering\Nif we could do something

where I could start\Nworking with you more--

not just doing my sessions,\Nwhere I'm getting a piece of them,

but something where\Nl could help you train the trainers

or manage the place,\Nand you could cut me a base salary.

l have to start\Ndoing more for myself, you know.

I've gone out and checked\Nsome other places out

and felt some\Npeople out and--

You've looked\Nat other places?

After all the times\NI've helped you out,

you've looked\Nat other places?

l mean, again,\Nl just looked,

just to feel out\Nwhat l was gonna say to you.

And I'm here\Nto you first, obviously.

How do you feel\Nabout the other places?

l mean, look, I've been working\Nwith you a long time.

I don't want\Nto leave here.

But at the same time\Nl need to do something now.

l need to step it up.\NI've been doing this for too long, man.

Right now is not exactly\Nthe best time

to start hitting people up\Nfor more money.

l know that.\Nl know that.

But that's exactly\Nalmost why l have to.

Because I don't know\Nhow much worse things are gonna get.

Or hopefully they turn around\Nand get better. I don't know.

But all l do know is\NI've been doing this long enough

and l need a change. If it's gonna be\Nwith you guys, I would love that.

And if it's not, l understand,\Nbut then l have to move on.

You're talking about\Nmore of a management role,

taking a piece of the profits,\Nstuff like that.

I've been trying for weeks\Njust to get you to wear the shirts.

And you can't even pass along\Nwith me on that.

l got to be honest with you, Bill,\NI'm not a uniform guy.

l mean, l love the gym.\Nl just don't love the t-shirts.

But if l have\Nto wear a t-shirt

to be on the team,\NI'll do that.

That's what l mean--\Nmore of a team role.

l don't see you\Nin that role.

I don't get that\Nfeeling from you.

You're more of an outsider,\Nmore of an independent

fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants\Nkind of guy.

- Hi, how can l help you?\N- What's your cheapest prepaid phone?

Cheapest prepaid?\NLet me show you.

This is $1 10. You get 200 minutes\Nand nights and weekends free.

$1 10 and l only get\N200 minutes?

- Yeah.\N- I'll give you $80 for it.

No, our cost is $95.\Nl can't give it to you for $80.

Then I'll take $95,\Nand I'll buy two.

No, l can give it to you\Nfor $100 if you want.

Okay, that's fine.\NI'll take two then.

Hi, David.\NThis is Chelsea.

Hi. You're real. You can never tell\Nwith these websites.

( chuckles )\NSo l checked out your information

and l see\Nthat you're a writer

and your company is in LA.\Nls that where you live as well?

Yeah, l live in LA.\NI'm just in for a couple days.

Do you travel a lot?

I do, you know,\Nproject to project.

l just go wherever\Nthey're shooting.

I'm in New York, like,\Nfive times a year.

What kind of writer\Nare you?

Screenwriter.

So what are you\Nlooking forward to?

Do you have anything\Nspecific in mind?

Well, you know,

after looking at your site

I'd just really love\Nto get together with you.

I'm just feeling\Nkind of stressed out.

l should probably\Nsee a shrink,

but it seems more fun\Nto see you.

Why don't you tell me\Nabout yourself?

Are you married?\NDo you have kids?

Yes and yes\Nand no comment.

How many kids\Ndo you have?

l have two little girls.

Don't make me\Nfeel bad, though.

l won't.

Would you like\Nto meet tomorrow?

Yes, l would,

but tomorrow is my\Nscreening and my dinner.

That's what I'm in for.

So l can't do it tomorrow.

And l leave Friday morning.\NHow about tonight?

l can't do it tonight.

Really?

Have you ever even seen\Nan escort before?

No, this is my first time.\NIs it that clear?

Well, no, it's just that\NI have this policy

that I usually\Ndon't see a client

unless they've been\Nwith an escort.

You know--

Do you make\Nexceptions?

Actually, l was just\Ngoing to tell you

that l was looking\Nat your birthday

and it actually coincides\Nwith mine really well.

Let me see if I can\Npush some things around.

Chelsea's voice: We clicked.\NThere was something there.

- And l told him that--\N- Woman: You told him that?

I told him that I was\Ngoing out of town for the weekend.

And he didn't\Nlike that at all.

And what really\Nset it off was

when he insulted me\Nabout my, you know--

all my personology books.

Right.

l had a feeling\Nhe didn't support me in my belief.

And l found out\Nlast night for sure.

So you found out last night\Nthat he doesn't like your astrology?

It's not astrology.

Are you gonna\Ndo this to me too?

- It kind of is.\N- It's not.

20,000 people-- that's more\Nthan just reading star signs.

l definitely think\Nit's important.

It's critical to have\Nsomebody who supports you.

But it's important to,\Nyou know--

l don't want to be negative,\N'cause I think

that feeling when you\Nconnect with a client

is the best feeling\Nin the world.

l don't want to be\Ndown on that.

It's funny because l wanted\Nto get away from my parents.

l didn't want to depend on them.\Nl didn't want their money.

That's more than\Nhalf the reason

l started doing this\Nin the first place.

l have a lot of money\Nsaved up,

and l won't completely feel\Nlike I'm dependent on him,

monetarily at least.

But he made me\Nfeel happy.

And I wanted to know\Nif that's something that will continue

or if it won't.

Chris: Do you really believe what's\Ncoming out of your mouth?

You think--\Nwhat do you think?

Let me guess--\Nthis guy's married.

Does he have a family?\NWhat do you think's gonna happen?

You're gonna go away\Nthis weekend;

something magical is gonna happen?\NHe's gonna go to his wife

who he's cheating on\Nby the way, and say, "Hey, honey,

l spent three days with a hooker,\Nand guess what--"

l don't know what's going to happen.\NAnd that's the point.

I know what's gonna happen.\NYou know what's gonna happen?

You're gonna go on your\Nlittle trip, all right?

And when he's done\Nplaying with you,

because he's having\Na midlife crisis,

he's gonna leave you\Nand go back

to his normal, great life\Nwith his wife and family.

And he's gonna leave you high and dry.\NAnd guess what--

then you're gonna come back here,\Nand there's no here anymore.

And you'll be stuck\Nwith you and your books, alone.

l promise you that.

l wish l would've known\Nyou felt like that.

Man:\NSo that's it?

She just fucking blindsides you\Nout of nowhere?

Blindsides me out of nowhere,\Nwalks in and,

"I am going away with\Nsomebody and it's over.

That's the end of it."

Buddy, listen.

l feel for you. From everything you\Ntold me about this girl,

you loved her. You were happy.\NThis was the thing.

So for that\Nl feel for you.

But, honest to God,\Ngood fucking riddance.

- It's not good riddance.\N- It is good riddance.

It's the first girl\Nin as long as l can remember

that l really care about--\Ncared about.

Let me tell you,\Nall women ultimately are evil.

They're the worst species,\Nworse than fucking hyenas,

because they have\Nall the power.

- I'm sensing a little frustration from you.\N- They have all the power.

And they know this.

- Chelsea: Do you ever listen to Jim Rome?\N- David: Yeah, l love Rome.

He always talks\Nabout Charles Barkley,

and he had a bill\Nat some club in Vegas

for 15 grand in alcohol.

And he was like,\N"It was an accident. l forgot to pay it."

He walked out on it?

No, he said,\N"Put it on my tab,"

and never paid it,\Nhonestly just forgot to pay it.

- Sure, Charles.\N- ( laughing )

Sock down $15,000\Nworth of booze

and then waltz\Nout of the door.

Then he repeats it,\Nlike, five times.

You see that when they hand you\Nthat funnel cake

with the powdered sugar.\NIt's hot and crispy.

You think, "This is\Ngonna be great."

Interviewer:\NAnd guess what I'm building up to is

I'm trying to see the role that this guy\Nplays in your life--

not necessarily your\Nrelationship between him--

I'm not interested in the intimate details\Nbetween these two people--

you and your boyfriend.\NI'm interested in the kind of relationship

somebody in your business would have\Nwith somebody they actually love.

Let me speak with him\Nand see how he feels about it.

This journalist, Mark,

is actually really nice.\NHe's a little intrusive, but--

Intrusive?\NHow so?

He's a journalist,\Nso that's his job, right?

I'm just not used\Nto that really.

He wants to meet you.

He wants to meet me?

What does he want\Nto meet me for?

He's never met an escort

that is in a committed\Nrelationship.

Sorry to interrupt you, but have you ever\Nbeen in an open relationship?

- And what's the difference?\N- l couldn't be in an open relationship.

- Open on which end?\N- Here's the difference--

l couldn't be in a no-strings-attached\Nrelationship.

The way the relationship\Nis established--

if you get into a relationship\Nyou think is exclusive

and then they suggest it be open,\Nthat's not gonna fly.

However, if you get into\Na fuck-buddy situation with someone

and you both want\Nto keep it that way-- that l can handle.

Like college, when you have that\Nfuck-buddy with a girl--

Pull these bones together\Nand relax.

Beautiful. Then you drop down\Nin a plank, position two.

A little bit more.\NWalk your hands forward.

Push forward.\NLet your hips come down.

Right there, hold that position\Nfor me.

Good.\NBreathing. Yes.

Drop down into a chaturanga.\NDrop to the mat.

Good. Hold that for a second.\NThen come to up dog.

I don't know what to do.\NI'm gonna keep training him

and continue\Nto blow him off nicely,

but I'm at a loss now.

That's like\Nthe worst situation.

I've been there before,\Nbut for girls it's so much worse.

Just kick the crap out of him\Nevery time you see him.

Make him throw up,\Nso he can't think about

asking you out,\Nand he'll start to hate you.

l hope so.

- Either that or get in really good shape.\N- That's true.

And then you might want\Nto go out with him.

l don't know about that.\NI'm not sure about that.

You can make him over,\Nlike a work in progress.

- Hi.\N- Hi. May l help you?

Glenn wouldn't happen\Nto be here, would he?

Yes, right this way.

( knocks on door )

Glenn, someone\Nto see you.

Miss Chelsea, l presume.

Thanks, Dad.

- What the fuck is up?\N- Hello.

How do you like what l haven't done\Nwith the place?

This is your place?

It's kind of\Na nice setup.

I've got a little deal\Nwith Pater there.

So you're supposed to be

a sophisticated escort, l read.

Would you like a little Schoenberg?\N( plays random notes )

l could improvise\Non it for hours.

( groans )

So what's on the menu?

What would you\Nlike to know?

Well, it's not so much\Nwhat I'd like to know.

It's what I'd like to feel.

But again,

l don't think you\Nreally understand

what l can do for you\Nif this goes well.

l trust you've looked\Nat my site again.

You've seen\Nsome of the girls

who are the stars of\Nthe Erotic Connoisseur.

I've got a very big\Nproject coming up

that l think, if this works out,\Nyou'd be perfect for.

I'm organizing a junket,\Nsuch as it is,

to Dubai.\NYou know Dubai?

Lots of money.\NVery tall buildings.

Arab people with cash\Nflowing out of their water faucets.

I'm gonna take a bunch\Nof girls to Dubai.

Everybody there says\Nthat the Russian hookers are the best.

l want to convince\Nthe Dubai elites

that it's best\Nto buy American.

It's all on the up and up.

The great thing\Nabout the project is

that it sounds like\Na white slavery ring,

but it's not.

And again, l think\Nthis could be something

that really ups your profile,\Ngets you more money.

l want to help you.\NAnd you can help me help you

by giving me a little bit\Nof a sense

of what you're like\Nto be with.

How does this trip to Dubai\Nexactly benefit you?

It benefits everybody.

I've got some people out there\Nwho set up the capital.

We go out there totally\Nfirst-class all the way--

private jet, champagne...

( sing-song voice )\Ncocaine--

all sorts of\Nyummy yummy things.

We're out there.\NWe spend a week.

On your off-hours\Nyou do whatever you like.

But on your on-hours\Nl bring you to men

who will pay $2500,\N$3500, $10,000

just for the pleasure\Nof shaking your hand.

And then it goes\Nfrom there.

If you want\Na piece of this,

it might be\Nin your interest

to give me some play.

We talked about\Na review copy, as it were.

I'd like to see\Nwhat it's like

to be with someone

as breathtaking

as you are.

Girlfriend:\NOh, God.

How'd it go?

Not so well.

But l don't really\Nwant to go into that.

l dealt with that\Nand l just want to leave it there.

When l came home,\Nl tried calling Chris,

'cause l really needed him,\Nand he wasn't there.

And meet you-- like,\Nmeet and talk to you Wednesday?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, what is that\Ngonna entail?

Hopefully more money.

He said he could help\Nincrease my rate.

That's what he said?

What did he say in relation to\Nthe other girl?

He said he reviewed her\Nand she did really well.

Interviewer: Do you ever get intimidated\Nby other women's bodies

that are in competition\Nwith you?

Not at all. I'm very happy\Nwith what l have.

You look great, but this is a high-stress\Nbusiness, right?

True.

l mean, there's always\Nsomebody else.

Yeah, so what did he\Nsay about that?

You know how Phillip\Nwas acting strange the other day?

Yeah.

Now l know why.

Why?

Or l think l know why.

l was shopping today.

And l saw him

and some girl outside\Nwho I've never seen.

l think it's that new girl,

the one the hobbyist\Nwas talking about.

Oh, that new girl.

You think it was her.

What'd she look like?

Similar to me.\NShe had long brown hair,

thin, pale skin.

She's taller, though.

And that upsets you, of course.\NListen to me.

l don't know how much\Nthis hobbyist

is playing this\Nto his own favor--

you guys against each other,\Nthe new girl in the street--

to help himself out and try to get\Na freebie off you.

And, honestly,\Ncan l tell you something?

You are the best\Nat everything you do, okay?

And just because\Nthere's some new girl--

there's always going to be new girls\Nthat come on the scene,

but nobody does\Nwhat you do, okay?

So please do me a favor\Nand do not let it stress you out.

l know you're competitive\Nand want to be the best,

but you are the best.

- Thank you.\N- You're welcome.

Will you get me\Nanother drink?

Yes, l will get you\Nanother drink.

Excuse me, guys.

I'll take a ginger ale and whatever looks\Nlike a vodka something.

- What's going on, brother?\N- Man: Nothing much.

- Nice to meet you.\N- Man: Heavy date?

I'm trying\Nto cheer my girl up.

Not my date.\NIt's my girlfriend.

That's all right.\NShe's having a bad day.

Man #2:\NHe's been checking her out.

Chelsea:\N"Buy me."

( Chris laughing )

We're having a conversation\Nwith this one here.

He's done very well,\Nas you can see.

- A lot of red dots in that book.\N- A lot of red dots.

Actually, that one\Nis available.

l love that one.

Kind of reminds me\Nof a crown.

Chelsea:\NWhen l went to meet him,

he listened.

He made me feel a way\Nl haven't felt with Chris

since the first couple months\Nof being with him,

and probably\Nmore so than that.

Yeah, l mean,\Nthat's great.

l love when it happens\Nwith a client--

you meet somebody\Nand it's like a real connection.

It is different.\NA client's different

from a boyfriend.\NIt's a different kind of relationship.

There's boundaries there

where it's just\Na little bit artificial,

whereas what you have\Nwith Chris is really--

it's a real relationship.

Man on TV: This is not the end.\NThis is not the worst.

l think it's going to get much worse\Nbefore it gets better.

If l hear one more thing\Nabout this debate, I'm gonna throw up.

If l hear "maverick" one more time,\NI'm gonna throw up.

Interviewer:\NThere could be somebody

who just really wants\Nthe real you, right?

l mean the real you.

In other words,\Nthat's a lot of money

for a short period\Nof time.

You don't want to get\Nthe fake diamond.

You want to get\Nthe real diamond.

What else\Ndo you want to know?

Another blind alley here.

It's the story of my life.

David: So listen, the idea\Nof going home this weekend

is really starting\Nto bum me out.

And I'm thinking\Na crazy thought.

I'm thinking\NI'm not going to.

You have any big plans\Nthis weekend?

Want to spend\Nthe weekend together?

Yeah.

Good. You want\Nto get out of town?

Okay, I'm gonna take\Ncare of some things

I need to do\Non Friday morning.

I'm gonna send a car for you,

take you to this place\Nin Hudson Valley l know.

It's called Monteverde.

And I'm gonna meet you up there\Nin the afternoon.

We'll spend the weekend together\Nand see where this thing goes.

Okay.

It's a plan?

Chelsea: About a year ago l found\Nthese books on personology.

So the first thing\NI ask a client--

or one of the first\Nthings at least--

is when is their birthday.\NAnd that helps me see

if this person\Nis going to put me in danger,

if they're gonna be\Na risky business decision.

Interviewer:\NSo you vet them out by seeing

if they have personal details\Non the top of their head?

That's right.

The guy you met--\Nyou mentioned him before--

the guy you met\Nbefore your boyfriend

that you were kind of\Ninterested in,

he was interested in you.

How did you handle\Nthat situation?

Let's just say\NI handled it.

- Yeah, but--\N- Or l am handling it.

You are handling it?\NIt's still going on?

What's next?

Where have you been?

- I've been out.\N- Out where?

I've been calling--\Nl haven't heard from you in hours.

l just had my phone\Nturned off.

I've been freaking out,\Ncalling you incessantly.

Get that for me.

It broke.

Where have you been?

l told you.\Nl was out.

It's freezing out there.

Doing what?

Seeing somebody.\NWhat do you think?

l think you've been gone\Nfor the entire day

without any contact.\NI thought--

l didn't know if you\Ngot attacked or what.

Are you still gonna take\Nthat trip to Vegas?

l have no idea. No.

I told them, no,\NI'm not going to Vegas

'cause you couldn't come.

l don't know--

( sighs )\NWhat is going on?

- Maybe you should.\N- What does that mean?

l met somebody today.

You met somebody?\NOkay, what does that mean?

l want to go away\Nfor the weekend.

( stuttering )\NI'm sorry, I'm not understanding.

You met somebody today--\Na client, right?

You know our rule is\Nyou don't go away with clients.

It's just something\Nl have to do, you know.

No, l don't know.

l don't even know\Nwhat you're talking about right now.

Who is this client?

I've actually never met him,

but there was\Nsomething there.

There was definitely\Nsomething there.

Today was the first day\Nyou met him?

l just said that, didn't l?

This is just hard\Nfor me to suddenly--

you're suddenly going away\Nwith someone you met today.

Does this have something to do\Nwith your books?

Yeah, it does.

But that's not\Nthe only reason.

There's just\Nsomething about him.

And there's something\Nl feel l can't miss--

l can't miss out on.

Okay, let's back up.

Did l do something?\NIs this about me?

It's just for two days, Chris.\NIt's for two days.

- Okay, l get it.\N- l don't know what's gonna happen.

ls this because of me\Ntalking about Vegas?

ls this something\Nto get back at me?

Not at all.

What's this guy's name?

Don't worry about his name.

What does this mean,\Ngoing away for the weekend?

I'm just going away\Nfor the weekend.

That's it, or are you\Nmaking other plans?

Look, we've been together\Nfor over a year and a half.

I'm gonna need more than a,\N"Hi, how are you doing?

I'm going away for the weekend."\NAll right?

You don't even know\Nthis guy.

Chris, you know\Nwhat this means to me.

You know what my books\Nmean to me.

Books.\NYou know, look,

l was cool with your books\N'cause it made you feel comfortable

and it made\Nyour work easier,

but at the end of the day\Nthey're books written by some guy

that probably has never been\Nin a relationship in his life

and doesn't know what the fuck\Nhe's talking about, okay?

- You think so?\N- Yeah, l think so.

l knew you felt that way.\NWhy didn't you just admit it?

Why didn't you admit it?

Because you weren't\Ntalking about leaving me

for a guy that you read\Nabout in a book, okay?

- l didn't say l was going to leave.\N- We're not living in a book.

- l said we're going away for a weekend.\N- You and l are real.

It's not just a guideline or a format\Nfor my business.

It's for my fucking life.

No, it's--

we are our lives.\NDo you understand that?

What you do for work--\Nyou met a client today.

You didn't meet\Nyour soulmate.

You didn't meet some guy\Nyou read about in a book, okay?

I don't know that\Nand you don't know that.

No, l do know that.\NYou don't spend one day with a guy

and destroy\Nover-a-year relationship.

l mean, we live together.

We're just gonna\Nthrow that all out?

l didn't say l was\Nthrowing it all out, Chris.

l said l need to find out,\Nfigure this out for myself.

Yeah, well, if you go\Non this trip,

you're throwing\Nit all out, okay?

- You understand that?\N- You're so selfish.

There is no going\Non this trip.

You're incredibly selfish.

- What did you say? I'm selfish?\N- You're selfish.

I'm selfish?\Nl bent over backwards for you

while you go out\Nand fuck guys for money!

Don't fucking yell at me.

And l don't do anything.\Nl sit here like a jerk-off all day.

Don't fucking yell at me.

( cell phone ringing )

- Hello.\N- Hi, it's David.

- Hi.\N- How are you?

A little cold.

Listen, Christine,

I've been thinking\Nabout you nonstop

since we said goodbye.

But l can't come.

What?

I'm sorry.\Nl can't come.

l have to go home.

I'm already here.

I'm really sorry.

The room's\Ntaken care of, but l just--

I was video-chatting\Nwith my kids this morning

and tears just started\Npouring out of me.

And l realized\Nl have to go home.

Chelsea:\NThat's it?

David:\NI'm sorry.

Hobbyist:\NWith her smoky eyes,

dark straight hair,\Nand perky little body,

Chelsea would appear\Nto have the potential

to satisfy in the Goth\Nor girl-next-door modes.

Alas, Chelsea seems intent\Non marketing herself

as a sophisticated escort.

With her flat affect,\Nlack of culture

and utter refusal to engage,\NChelsea couldn't even dazzle

the likes of\NForrest fucking Gump.

And that's just where\Nthe problems begin.

Just as her perky little tits\Nseemed to literally shrink at my touch,

so too did the Connoisseur's cock\Nfail to launch

at the clammy touch\Nof her hand

and the lukewarm\Nand loose embrace of her mouth.

To quote the great sage Jamie Gillis\Nin "Misty Beethoven,"

"This number is\Nthe nadir of passion."

A splendid time is\Nabsolutely not guaranteed for all.

♪ When they leave ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Everyone's a critic... ♪

( vocalizing )

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ You ask me ♪

♪ To pray\Nwith your beads... ♪

( knocks on door )

- Hi.\N- Hi.

Should l come out\Nor you want to come in?

How are you?

Good.

Can l get you anything?

I'm fine.

So how's your day\Ntreating you?

It's been all right.

You sure?

No.

Want to talk about it?

l really shouldn't.

But it's just been\Nreally bothering me.

Something happen?

There's this guy\Nwho runs a message board

and he's really nobody.

And he wanted to meet me

and have sex\Nfor the exchange

that in return he'll write a good\Nreview about me,

tell people\Nthat l gave him

the time of his life,

which l already know\NI do, but--

( laughs )

l shouldn't talk about this.\NI'm sorry.

You can if you want.

He took a q-tip

and he asked me\Nto put it on my vagina.

This guy probably didn't\Nshower for three days.

I'm sorry,\NI'm really hot.

This guy was\Njust disgusting

in every sense\Nof the word.

I'm sorry,\Nl feel really stupid.

I shouldn't be\Ntalking about this.

It's okay.

Look, you seem like\Nyou need some air.

Do you want\Nto go downstairs?

You want to take a walk,\Nget a cup of coffee or something?

Yeah. I'd like that.

Could you put us somewhere\Na little further away from everybody else?

l have something\Nright over here.

That's better.\NThank you so much.

When somebody-- we agreed\Nto do this, right?

We agreed to meet\Nand have this kind of situation,

which is a transactional\Nsituation like the one

you deal with all the time\Nin your business, right?

Now we're up to this part

where I'm asking you something\Nthat would actually be interesting to me,

and I feel you're\Nholding out on me.

l mean, the thing is that\Nthe inner you is really--

l mean, there's--

in this business it's all\Nabout appearance, right?

If you weren't beautiful,\Nnobody'd be paying to bang you, right?

To put it grossly, right?

So the thing is that\Nif you weren't beautiful,

you wouldn't be\Nin this business.

ls that right?

Do we agree on that?

So suppose\Nl like your looks,

but I'm really much more\Ninterested in the real you

because I get a sense\Nfrom looking at your picture--

I'm not talking about myself,\Nbut somebody else--

l got a feeling\Nlooking at your picture

and looking\Ninto your eyes right now

and the way you're doing\Nthat with your hair

and the way you're wearing\Nyour little outfit there

and all that kind of stuff--\Nand l like your earrings--

that here's somebody\NI'd like to get to know a little better.

So is that iron door\Nalways gonna be closed?

For most people, yes.

Most?

It's possible that\Nthere might be a crack

in that little door\Nyou could walk through?

This kind of thing that you\Ncould possibly get through?

l assume the armor in your situation\Nmust be very thick,

just because\Nit has to be, right?

So what kind of guy\Nwould it have to be?

( knocks )

- Hi, Naim.\N- Hey, Chelsea.

- How are you?\N- I'm well. How are you?

Good, thank you.

- You look lovely.\N- Thanks.

But it's very important\Nthat you vote for McCain-- very important.

I know.\NWe've had this discussion.

The state of Israel\Nmust continue.

He's the man.

Everybody's buying gold\N'cause they think

it's a good hedge\Nagainst the stock market.

A friend of mine\Ntold me that today,

actually said I should\Ninvest my money in gold.

People think that\Nyou should buy diamonds,

but diamonds don't really\Nhave a resale value.

Unfortunately, it's a myth.

Gold is the way to go.

( breathing heavily )

Here.

( breathing heavily )

( moans )

( breathing slows down )

Did you see McCain?

( chuckles )\NYeah.

My God. Poor guy.

Those faces\Nhe was making--

I feel bad for him.\Nl mean, you know,

he just wants to do\Nthe right thing,

but he is so\Non the wrong side.

He's on the wrong team.

He's on the team that\Nscrewed it all up.

Well,

I hope you're right.\Nl hope it gets better.

That feels so good.

Good.

- You're so tense.\N- l know.