Original subtitles

[HYDRAULIC BRAKES HISS]

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

MAN: Like we\Ndiscussed yesterday,

I really want you all to focus\Non topic sentences more.

Too many of you\Nare rushing into examples

in your body paragraphs.

It'd be good for everyone\Nto review

the paragraph structure PDF\NI sent you

a few weeks ago.

I know these rules\Ncan feel constraining.

But remember,\Nthe point of this course

is to learn how to write\Nclearly and persuasively.

That's how you can\Neffectively communicate\Nyour ideas.

[MESSAGE ALERT PINGS]

[MAN CHUCKLES]

Chris, I imagine\Nthat was supposed to be\Na private chat

that you sent\Nto the whole class.\NWell done.

And, yes, the camera\Non my laptop\Nstill doesn't work.

Believe me,\Nyou're not missing much.

Oh, and for those of you\Nwho still haven't\Ngiven me paper three,

I need it by Wednesday,\Nno exceptions.

And remember,

- the more you revise\Nthese essays, the better.\N- [WAVES CRASHING]

The more you change,

chances are you'll express\Nyour thoughts and ideas

more clearly\Nand persuasively.

All right?

[WAVE CRASHED LOUDLY]

[MAN GRUNTS]

[RAIN PATTERING]

[GROANS]

[HEAVY BREATHING][CONTINUES GRUNTING]

[MEN ON VIDEO\NBREATHING HEAVILY]

[MAN GRUNTS][STROKING RAPIDLY]

Oh!

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING IN PAIN]

[GRUNTING LABORIOUSLY]

[COUGHS, BREATHES HEAVILY]

[GASPING AND COUGHING]

"Moby Dick...[WHEEZES]\NIn the amazing book,\NMoby..."[GROANS]

[KNOCK AT DOOR]Liz?

[PANTS][KNOCKING CONTINUES]

Just use your key,\N[WHEEZES] open the door!

[GASPS]Oh, my God.

Who are you?\N[GROANS IN PAIN]

Gosh, are you okay?\NShould I call an ambulance?\NI should call an am...

[MEN PANTING][CONTINUES GROANING]

Read this to me.Do you have a phone?

My phone's dead,\NI need to...

Please just read it!Okay!

[GRUNTS]Okay.

[GROANS]

"In the amazing book,\NMoby Dick,by the author,\NHerman Melville,

"the author recounts his story\Nof being at sea.

"In the first part\Nof his book, the author,\Ncalling himself Ishmael,

"is in a small seaside town,

"and he is sharing a bed\Nwith a man named Queequeg."

What is this?\NWhy am I reading this?

I need to...Just read any of it!

"And I felt saddest of all\Nwhen I read\Nthe boring chapters

"that were only\Ndescriptions of whales,

"because I knew\Nthat the author\Nwas just trying to save us

"from his own sad story..."

[GASPING] Sad story."...just for a little while."

Just for a little while.

"This book made me think\Nabout my own life...[WHEEZES]

"...and then it made me\Nfeel glad for my..."

[PANTING]

Did that help?[SIGHS]

Look, do you have a phone?\NMy phone is dead.

I need to call an ambulance.

You need help.I don't go to hospitals.

I can't help you, I don't...I don't go to hospitals.

I am sorry, um...\NYou can go.

Thank you\Nfor reading that to me.

Are you sure you're okay?

I'm sorry, who are you?

Are you acquainted\Nwith the Gospel\Nof Jesus Christ?

What?I'm sharing\NChrist's message of love,

and I'm showing people...[SIGHING] Oh.

Think I should call my friend.

She's a nurse,\Nshe takes care of me.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll go.\NSorry to bother you.Wait.

My phone fell under there,\Ncan you...

Yeah, sure.

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]Here it is.

[GROANS IN PAIN]

[MAN GRUNTS]

Hey, listen, I don't know\Nwhat's gonna happen

in the next few minutes.

If you don't mind,\Ncould you... [GRUNTS]

Yeah. Yeah, of course.Thank you.

[PHONE LINE RINGING]

[AUTOMATED VOICE SPEAKING]\NIt's Liz. I'm not around.\NLeave a message.

What was that thing\Nthat you had me read to you?

It's an essay.

It's my job.

I teach online\Ncollege courses.

But why did you have me\Nread it to you?

Because I thought\NI was dying.

And I wanted to hear it\None last time.

[VELCRO RIPS]

You should have called\Nan ambulance.

With no health insurance?

Being in debt\Nis better than being dead.

What's wrong with you?

Why is there\Na missionary here?

Someone left\Nthe door unlocked.

I left after\Nyou fell asleep earlier,

I must've forgotten.

Good thing, too.\NIf I hadn't, you might have...

Liz, I don't like it when you...

Okay, okay.\NI just hate the thought

of you being sealed up\Nin this place\Nwhen I'm not here.

[PUMPING SPHYGMOMANOMETER\NBULB]\NNow shut up, I'm trying to...

[RELEASES PRESSURE][AIR HISSING]

What?Hush.

Tell me what you felt.

Pain, in my chest.

Hard to breathe.

I couldn't intake air.

[RIPS VELCRO]

How are you sleeping?I'm not, really.

Lean forward.

[SIGHS]

[MAN WHEEZES]

You're wheezing.

I always wheeze, Liz.

You're wheezing more.

Deep breath.

[BREATHES DEEPLY\NWITH DIFFICULTY]

That hurt?

What was my blood pressure?

Two-hundred and thirty-eight\Nover 134.

[CHUCKLING] Oh.

Yeah. "Oh."

[SIGHS]

Hey, could you...

I haven't been\Nto the bathroom all day,\NI'm ready to explode.

[GRUNTS]

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

[DRAWS CURTAIN][LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS]

[TRASH CAN LID CLOSES]

[SIGHS]

[MAN GRUNTS]LIZ: You need help in there?

MAN: No, I'm fine. Sorry.

What are you sorry about?

I'm sorry. I don't know.\NJust sorry.

MISSIONARY: I should go.LIZ: Thank you.

You must be from New Life.

You know Doug,\Nfrom the church council?

Yeah, I think so?

I'm not entirely sure.

I'm sort of new here, so...

He's my dad.

Doug and Cindy adopted me\Nwhen I was a baby.

Oh, that's great.

I've never seen you there\Nbefore, but,

again I'm sort of new, so...

[SIGHS] Fucking hate New Life.Oh.

My dad forced me to go\Nwhen I was a kid.

It was awful,\Ngrowing up with all\Nthat "end times" bullshit.

[SIGHS] You're young.

Why the hell\Nwould you want to believe

that the world\Nis about to end?

I believe that\Nwhen Christ returns,

it's gonna be beautiful.

Look, you can go.

I know Charlie appreciates\Nthe help,

but if you're here\Nto convert him...

Oh, we don't convert,

our message\Nis a message of hope

for people of all...LIZ: People of all faiths.

I know. You're sweet.\N[CLICKS LIGHTER] But...

[SIGHS]

Believe me, he doesn't want\Nto hear about New Life.

Why?

Because it's caused him\Na lot of pain.

How?

It killed his boyfriend.

[TOILET FLUSHES]

You're saying the church...[SIGHS]

Killed Charlie's\Nboyfriend, yes.

And I should add that New Life

has caused me a lot of pain\Nin my life.

So, we don't need you\Ncoming over here,

especially not now,\Nnot this week.

Why?

Because he probably\Nwon't be here next week.

Where's he going?

I'm sorry\Nyou had to come over, Liz.

No, it's okay.

I'm sorry\Nthat I always think\NI'm dying.

Charlie, your blood pressure\Nis 238 over 134.

I'm sorry.Go to the hospital.

I'm sorry.Stop saying you're sorry.

Go to the hospital.

You have congestive\Nheart failure.

If you don't go\Nto the hospital,

you'll be dead by the weekend.

[STERNLY] You will die.

CHARLIE: Well, then,\NI better get to work

because I have a lot\Nof essays this week.

God damn it!

I know. I'm sorry,\NI'm an awful person. I know.

I'm sorry.

[GRUNTS, PANTS]

Did you still want to hear\Nabout Christ's message\Nof love and salvation?

No, he does not!

MISSIONARY: Okay. Okay.

I'll go.

I still don't understand

why you had me read\Nthat essay to you.

It's a really good essay.

LIZ: Goodbye. [CLOSES DOOR]

Charlie, you have to go\Nto the hospital.\NThis has gone way too far.

And rack up tens of thousands\Nof dollars in hospital bills

I'll never be able\Nto pay back, ever.

This affects me too, you know?

You're my friend.

I know.

I'm sorry.

You say you're sorry\None more time,

I will shove a knife\Nright into you,\NI swear to God!

Go ahead, what's it gonna do?

My internal organs\Nare two feet in, at least.

[LAUGHING]

[COUGHS]

[WHIMPERS PLAYFULLY]

I've been telling you\Nthis would happen.

[SIGHS] I know.

Haven't I been telling you?You have.

NEWSCASTER 1: ...a new \NGOP presidential primary.

However, they say \Nabsentee ballots

are the lowest they've seen\Nin recent history.NEWSCASTER 2: That's not good.

NEWSCASTER 3: No, it's not. \NGet out and vote tomorrow.

if you want to vote \Nin the Republican primary.

Our current polls do show,\Namong Republicans,,

30% favor Trump...Liz.

NEWSCASTER 3:\N...senator Ted Cruz,

17% would vote\Nfor Florida senator\NMarco Rubio,

and 5% for Ohio governor\NJohn Kasich.

Liz.

NEWSCASTER 3:\N...for someone else,\Nif they could.

Below a percent\Nthat just don't know.

NEWSCASTER 1:\NMeanwhile, Vermont senator\NBernie Sanders

is expected to win\Nthe Gem State\Non the Democratic side...

Please.

[NEWSCASTER 1 CONTINUES\NINDISTINCTLY]

Thank you.

[CRUNCHING]

[LAUGHTER ON TV]

Oh, I've seen this one,\Nit's good.

[INDISTINCT TV CHATTER]

[RAIN PATTERING]

[INDISTINCT TV CHATTER]

[CHARLIE CHOKES, COUGHS]

[COUGHING]

[REMOTE CLICKS][TV SWITCHES OFF]

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]

CHARLIE: In the first part\Nof his book, the author,

calling himself Ishmael,

is in a small seaside town

and he is

sharing a bed with a man

named Queequeg.

The author and Queequeg\Ngo to church,

and later,\Nthey set out on a ship

captained\Nby the pirate named

Ahab,

who is missing a leg,

and very much wants\Nto kill the whale

which is named Moby Dick,

and which is white.

In the course of the book,

the pirate Ahab encounters\Nmany hardships.

His entire life is set around

trying to kill\Na certain whale.

I think this is sad

[GRUNTS]

because the whale\Ndoesn't have any emotions.

[GRUNTS]

He's just

a poor, big animal.

And I feel bad\Nfor Ahab as well

[GRUNTS]

...because he thinks\Nthat his life will be better

if he can just kill this whale.

But in reality,

[GRUNTS]

it won't help him at all.

This book made me think

about my own life.

This book made me think\Nabout my own life.

[OCEAN WAVES CRASHING]

[SOFTLY] This book\Nmade me think\Nabout my own life.

[SIGHS]

[EXHALES]

[TYPING]

[TYPING]

[SIGHS]

[TYPING]

[EXHALES]

[WRAPPER CRINKLING]

[BIRD CHIRPS]

[CHIRPS]

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

[LINE RINGS]

[CLEARS THROAT][LINE CONNECTS]

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

[CHUCKLES QUIETLY]

Does this mean\Nnow I'm gonna get fat?

[GRUNTS] No, it doesn't.

I was always big.

I just...

I let it get out of control.

[CHARLIE EXHALES]

So, was your mom okay\Nwith you coming over here?

I didn't tell her.

CHARLIE: It's really good\Nto see you.

You look beautiful.

So, how's school?

You're a senior, right?

You actually care?

Well, of course I care.

I pester your mom\Nfor information

as often as\Nshe'll give it to me.

[CHARLIE EXHALES]

Um...

So... [GRUNTS]

Why are you...\NI mean, don't you have school?

Got suspended\Nthis morning.

Oh.

Why?

I posted something\Nabout my stupid bitch\Nlab partner

that the vice principal said\Nwas "Vaguely threatening."

[GRUNTS]

You don't like school?

Only idiots like high school.

But you're on track\Nto graduate, right?

Counselor says I might not.

I'm not worried.

I'm a smart person.

I never forget anything.

High school is just bullshit.

But, Ellie, it's important.

If you don't graduate, then...

Are you actually trying\Nto parent me right now?

No, I'm... Sorry.

I just...

I just thought that maybe\Nwe could spend some time\Nwith each other.

I'm not spending time\Nwith you.

You're disgusting.

Well, I'm a lot bigger\Nthan I was

since last time you saw me.

ELLIE: No, I'm not talking\Nabout what you look like.

You'd be disgusting\Neven if you weren't this fat.

You'd still be\Nthat piece-of-shit dad

who walked out on me\Nwhen I was eight.

All because he wanted to fuck\None of his students.

Can I have one of these?

Yeah.

Look, it's...\Nit's been a long time.

I just thought that maybe

we can get to know each other.

I don't even know\Nwhy I'm here.

I can pay you.

You want to pay me\Nto spend time with you?

And I can help you\Nwith your work.

It's what I do for my job.

I can help you pass\Nyour classes.

You teach online?Yes.

Your students know\Nwhat you look like?

I keep the camera shut off.

Yeah, that's probably\Na good idea.

My counselor says\Nthat if I show\Na lot of improvement

in one subject,

I might be able\Nto graduate.

You can rewrite these essays\Nfor English.

They have to be\Nreally good, though.

Well, look, um...

I don't know\Nif I should write them\Nfor you,

but I can work with you\Non them.

How much can you pay me?

Everything I have.

All the money\NI have in the bank.How much?

$120,000?\NSomething like that.\NI'd have to check.

I never go out.

All I pay for is food,\Nrent, Internet.

And I work all the time.

And you'd give\Nall of it to me?

Not to my mom, to me?

Yes. Just...

don't tell your mom,

all right?

And maybe you could do\Nsome writing just for me.

Why?

Because you're a smart person.

And I bet you'd make\Na strong writer.

Plus, I'm a teacher.\NI want to make sure

you're getting something\Nout of this.

[ZIPS BAG] I don't even\Nunderstand you.

Stand up and walk over to me.

What?

Come over here.\NWalk toward me.

No. No. Without this thing.

Stand up and walk over here.

Ellie, I can't really...Shut up!

Come over here.

[CHARLIE SIGHS]

[EXHALES HEAVILY]

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

[GRUNTS WITH EXERTION]

[GRUNTS, GROANS]

[PANTING]

[HUFFING]

[GRUNTS]

[CHARLIE YELLS]

[GROANING LOUDLY]

[GROANING IN PAIN]

[PANTING]

[DOG BARKS OUTSIDE]

[WHISPERING]\N"...celebrate my soul.

"Sell my soul."

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

MAN: Gambino's!

Yeah, you can, um...

I put a $20 in the mailbox.

MAN: Sure.

You can just leave it\Non the...

MAN: Yeah, I, uh...\NI remember.

Everything okay in there?

Yeah.

MAN: You sure?

Yeah.

I'm fine.

Thank you.

[METAL CLACKS]

[FOOTSTEPS]

[CHUCKLES LIGHTLY]

[CAR ENGINE STARTS]

Breathe slowly.[DEVICE BEEPS]

[INHALES]

Relax.

[EXHALES][DEVICE BEEPS]

It measures perspiration.\NIt's an indicator of stress.

It's about establishing\Na relationship

between your brain\Nand your body.

If you know\Nhow to make yourself calm,

then your blood\Npressure will...

[DEVICE BEEPS]Here.

I don't need a little machine\Nto tell me

to take a few deep breaths\Nand stop sweating.

Well, apparently,\Nyou fucking do.

[DEVICE BEEPS]Take another deep breath.

[BREATHES DEEPLY][DEVICE BEEPS]

Thank you.

[CHARLIE EXHALES DEEPLY]

[LIZ SIGHS]

We're just gonna try\Nsome different methods,\Nor whatever.

If you refuse to go\Nto the hospital,\Nthen you'll...

I don't know.

Where'd this come from?

[DEVICE CONTINUES BEEPING]

Hey.

Was she here?

No, I don't like this.

This isn't a good idea.

You know you're not supposed\Nto be around her.

Does her mom know about this?

I just wanted to see her.

Mary has kept her from me\Nall this time.

Why do you suddenly need\Nto see her so bad, why now?

Liz.

[LIZ SIGHS]

Why the hell do you have\Nher homework, anyway?

Look, I didn't plan for this.

She needs some help at school,

so I'm gonna help her\Nwith a few essays.

[LIZ SCOFFS]

You haven't seen her\Nsince she was eight\Nyears old,

and you're gonna\Nreconnect with her

by doing her homework\Nfor her?

It's fine.It's not fine.

She shouldn't be around you\Nwhen you're like this.

What if something happens,\Nwhat if you need help?

[DEVICE BEEPING RAPIDLY]

Charlie, calm down.

Hey. No.[BEEPING STOPS]

Okay. Forget it, then.

I'm worried about her.Why?

Oh, you're spying on her now?

It doesn't look\Nlike she has any friends.

I don't think this is...

[CHARLIE SCOFFS]\NCome on, a dead dog?

I'm worried\Nthat she's forgotten

what an amazing person she is.

She's just a teenager.

Everyone is insane\Nwhen they're a teenager.

When I was her age,

when my dad\Nwould really piss me off...

I'm just lucky\NI didn't get arrested,\Nthat's all I'll say.

Point is,

bringing her over here\Nis a bad idea.

You have enough to deal with\Nright now, you hear me?

Do not bring her\Nover here again.

Okay.

Okay.

It's not like she's alone,\Nyou know. She has her mom.

LIZ: Ugh, shit.\NI have to go soon.

I hate these night shifts.[UTENSILS CLACKING]

It's just a steady parade\Nof dumb, drunk college kids.

[FAUCET RUNS]

[LAUGHING] Did I tell you\Nabout this girl

from a few nights ago?[GAGS]

The puke was bright purple,\NI swear.

[CHOKING][LIZ LAUGHING]

I mean, what is that?

Why can't these kids\Njust drink beer? You know.

Are you choking?[CONTINUES CHOKING]

Oh, God!\NOkay, lean on that arm.

Lean on that arm!

Okay, I need\Nyou to rock with me.

[GRUNTS][CHOKES]

[GRUNTS][CHARLIE GASPS]

[LIZ YELLS]

[COUGHS, WHEEZES]

[COUGHING, WHEEZING]

[GASPING]

I'm okay. [GASPS]

I'm okay. [GASPS]

[SHOUTS] God damn it, Charlie,\Nwhat is wrong with you?

[HITS]

Chew your food\Nlike a normal human being!

You could have just died\Nright in front of me!

I'm sorry.

[CHARLIE WHIMPERS AND SOBS]

I'm sorry, Liz.

[OBJECT CLACKS]

[LIZ EXHALES]

It's okay.

CHARLIE: I read through\Nsome of the posts

in the class discussion forum\Nthis morning.

In particular, a post

about crafting a good thesis,\Nand I quote,

"Just pick a sentence\Nfrom the reading

"and say, 'It's good,'\Nor some shit."

Listen, at this point\Nin the course,

I have given you\Nall that I can,

in terms of structure,\Nbuilding a thesis,

paragraph organization.

But if all of that isn't built

on your own original ideas\Nand truthful analysis,

it doesn't mean anything.

Think about that\Nas you write and revise.

Think about the truth\Nof your argument.

I know this may sound silly,\Nbut it's important.

Promise, it's important.

[BIRD CHIRPING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[STRAINING]

[KEY CLATTERS]

[GRUNTING SOFTLY]

[KEY CLACKS]

[CLAW CLICKS]

[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]

[SIGHS]

This is... [EXHALES]

You say that Walt Whitman\Nwrote Song for Myself.

Yeah?

It's called Song of Myself.

My title's better.

Yeah.

Well...

Okay, I'll just change it.

"The poem Song of Myself

"is in a book\Ncalled Leaves of Grass.

"It was written\Nby Walt Whitman

"and was published in 1855.

"He paid for the first\Npublication himself."

You don't have to read it\Nout loud. Just rewrite it.

You're supposed\Nto analyze the poem.

This is just a list of facts.

Yup. Thank you, Wikipedia.

[SMACKS LIPS]

You know, it's really\Nan amazing poem.

Whitman uses the metaphor\Nof "I" not to refer to himself,

but to explode\Nthe very definition of self

in favor of a more\Nall-encompassing...

I really, really don't care.

You know, I think\Nyou might like it\Nif you actually read it.

You're just like my teachers.

You think just because\NI'm not losing my shit\Nover the poem,

it's because I didn't read it.

I did read it.

It's overwritten, and dumb,\Nand repetitive.

And even though he thinks\Nhis metaphor of "I" is deep,

it's actually\Njust a bunch of bullshit.

And, in reality,

he's just some worthless\N19th century faggot.

That's an interesting\Nperspective.

It would make\Nfor an interesting essay.

Just write that thing\Nabout exploding\Nthe definition of self.

My English teacher\Nwill love it.

[CHARLIE SIGHS]

So, how's your mom doing?Oh, my God.

Look, if you're not\Ngonna write\Nthese essays for me, then...

CHARLIE: Ellie,\NI don't need you here\Nto write these essays for you.

If you want to go, you can go.

You can still have the money.

I thought you wanted\Nto get to know me.I do,

but I don't want\Nto force you to be here.

It's up to you.

[PUTS BAG DOWN]

She's fine.

Mom. I guess.

She happy?When she drinks.

You guys still live\Nin that duplex\Nover on Orchard?

You don't even know\Nwhere we live?

You don't stay in touch\Nwith Mom?

Yeah, I check in with her\Nas often as she lets me.

She really only tells me\Nthings about you.

Why?

Because that's all\NI want to know about.

When I was 11,

we moved\Nto the other side of town,

near the Walmart.

Is your mother

with anyone right now?No.

Why, you interested?

[CHUCKLES] No, of course not.

Why'd you gain\Nall that weight?

[INHALES DEEPLY] I don't...

If you're gonna\Ninterrogate me,\NI'm gonna do the same thing.

Why'd you gain\Nall that weight?

Someone close to me\Npassed away, and it...

It had an effect on me.

Your boyfriend.

My partner.Your student.

He wasn't that young.\NIt was a night school course.

ELLIE: Oh, I remember him.

You had him over\Nfor dinner once

when Mom was in Montana,\Nvisiting Grandma.

You made steaks.

The good kind.

Better meal\Nthan you ever made\Nfor me or Mom.

I remember hearing\Nyou two talk\Nafter I went to bed.

How do you remember all that?

I told you,\NI never forget anything.

How did he die?

I... I don't... I'm...

I really don't want\Nto talk about that right now,

if that's all right with you.

[CELL PHONE KEYS CLACKING]

I'll write these essays\Nfor you.

I want you to do some writing,\Njust for me.

I hate writing essays.

Just think about the poem\Nfor a while,

and write something.

Be honest.

Tell me what you really think.

You want me to write\Nwhat I really think?

I'll be right back.

Just write whatever you want.

[CHARLIE GROANING\NWITH EXERTION]

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

[CONTINUES GROANING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[WATER RUNNING]

[SUPPRESSED SOBBING]

[MUFFLED SOBBING]

[WATER CONTINUES RUNNING]

Are you okay?

Unless you're dying,\Nthere's no way\NI'm going in there.

[SNIFFLES]

[EXHALES] Oh, yeah.\NI'm fine. I'm fine.

[BRID WINGS FLAPPING]

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

[WATER RUNNING][KNOCKING CONTINUES]

Hi.

I was looking for Charlie?

He's in the bathroom.

Oh, I can come back.

Are you his friend, or...

I'm his daughter.

Oh.Are you surprised?

Yeah, I guess.

What's more surprising?\NThat a gay guy\Nhas a daughter,

or that someone\Nactually found his penis?

I'm kidding.

Jesus.

Um...

Charlie was interested\Nin hearing more\Nabout my church,

and I brought\Nsome literature...

Are you Mormon?No, I'm from New Life.

Oh. That end times cult thing.

[POURS JUICE]It's not a cult.

Tell you one thing\Nthat I like about religion.

What I like about religion

is that it assumes\Nthat everyone is an idiot

and that they're all incapable\Nof saving themselves.

I think they got\Nsomething right with that.

I don't think like that...

What I don't like\Nabout religion

is that when people\Naccept Jesus or whatever,

they suddenly think\Nthat they're better

than everyone else.[CHARLIE GRUNTING]

By accepting the fact\Nthat they're stupid sinners,

somehow they've become better,\Nand they turn into assholes.

I don't really know\Nwhat to say.

I have some pamphlets\Nthat I think would...

[CAMERA CLICKS]Why did you just do that?

Are you coming back tomorrow?

I'm not sure...Come back tomorrow.

I'll be here\Naround the same time.

I'm sorry, what's happening?

[CAMERA CLICKS]

Oh!

Hi. I was just coming over

to share these pamphlets\Nwith you.

You'll have those done\Nby tomorrow?

Sure.

Five-page minimum.

It'll be good, I promise.

I'm Ellie.Thomas.

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

[SLAMS DOOR SHUT]

So...

Christ's return\Nhas been promised\Nfor centuries.

But there are a lot\Nof clues in Scripture

that suggest it's imminent.

So, that means\Nwe don't have time\Nto deny the Gospel,

we don't have...Do you really think

that the world's\Ngonna end soon?

Well, the Bible says\Nthat no one shall know the day

or the hour, but,

yeah, I think we're probably\Nliving in end times.

And that doesn't bother you?

No. It's the idea

that a better world is coming\Nto replace this one.

That everything terrible\Nabout this country,

this planet,\Nis gonna be wiped clean,

and replaced with something\Npure and holy, and...

I'm sorry.\NI don't mean to be rude,

but I know all this.

What do you mean?

I have probably\Nread everything

New Life Church\Nhas ever written.

Probably every pamphlet\Nthey've ever published.

Wow, that's great\Nand everything,

but these tracts\Nare just the beginning.

There's so much more\Nin the Bible that we can...I read the Bible.

Really?

Sure. Couple times.

Did you like it?

I thought it was devastating.

God creates us,\Nexpels us from paradise.

We wander around\Nfor thousands of years\Nkilling each other,

before He comes back\Nand saves 144,000 of us.

Meanwhile, seven-\Nand-a-half billion of us\Nfall into hell.

Yeah.

That's not really\Nhow I interpret it, but...

Charlie, you have\Nto understand,

God hasn't turned\NHis back on you.

If you accept Him,\NHe'll release you from this.

[SIPPING]He'll take your soul

out of this body\Nand give you\Na brand-new body.

One made of pure light.\NI mean, don't you want that?

I'm not interested\Nin being saved.

[SIGHS]I appreciate what you did

the other day,\Nbut you can go.

This doesn't sound\Nlike something that I...

Look, I really think\Nthat God brought me here\Nfor a reason.

There's a reason\Nwhy I knocked on your door

right when you needed\Nsomeone the most.

Isn't there any way\NI can help?

I mean,\Nthat's the entire reason

why I became a missionary\Nin the first place, right?

There's something\Nyou can do for me.

What?Um, nothing I just...

I hope you know\NI wasn't talking about, um...

What?I'm not...

Oh, my God.I'm... I'm sorry.\NI just...

No.With what\Nyou were watching

the first time\NI came in here, I just...

[CHUCKLES] I am not\Nattracted to you.

Please, you gotta believe me\Nwhen I say\NI'm not attracted to you.

You're a fetus.

I'm sorry.

[SIGHS]

Thomas, tell me the truth.

You find me disgusting?

No.

I just want to help.

Please, just let me help.

[GRUNTS SOFTLY]

Thank you.\NThat's very helpful.

What happened to your...\NSorry. Your friend, Liz,

she said\Nthat your boyfriend,

he used to go to New Life?[DOOR OPENS]

LIZ: Charlie?Yeah.

I got you this.

I did some\Nasking around, and...

What the fuck\Nis he doing here?

He's just helping me\Nwith something.

Take it easy, Liz.

Okay, well, you can go now.

Liz.

Go home!

Sorry. I'm sorry.Leave it.

[CHARLIE GRUNTS]I said, leave it!

CHARLIE:\NLiz, would you stop?

Actually, stay.\NWe'll have a little chat.

What's this?

The fuck does it look like?

It's a fat-guy wheelchair.

And why do I need\Na wheelchair?

I was talking to one\Nof the ER doctors,

He said moderate activity\Nwould be a good idea.

Sense of independence\Nmight help you out.

And what did you pay\Nfor this thing?

Nothing. We ordered it\Nfor a patient\Na few months ago.

It's just been sitting around.

What happened to the patient?

Just try it out.

Please.

[SIGHS]

[GRUNTING]

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Beep. Beep. Beep.

[LAUGHING]

CHARLIE: Can I sit?I gotcha.

[CHARLIE GROANING]

[CHUCKLES]

Good?Yeah, actually,\Nthis is really nice.

Yeah.

Let me clear\Nsome space for you.

CHARLIE: Whee.

Hello?

CHARLIE: Look, no hands.

Thank you, Liz.\NThis is great, so great.

[CHUCKLES] See? I told you.CHARLIE: I know.

I should go.Ah-pap-pap.

Not until we have\Nour little chat.

What?LIZ: Come on.

Liz.

Just gimme a minute with him.

[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE]

Where are you from?

What?

You said you've only been here\Nfor a little while.

Where you from?

Uh, Iowa.\NA town called Waterloo?

You asking me?

No. I'm from Waterloo.

Okay.

Your whole family\Nmove out here for New Life?

No, it's just me.

I wanted to do\Nsome missionary work\Nbefore school.

[CHUCKLES]

You're from Iowa,

and you came to Idaho\Nto do missionary work?

Why aren't you\Nin Africa or something?

Idaho needs the Word\Nas much as anywhere else.

Okay, listen.

I know this is fun for you.

You get to travel around,

act superior than\Neveryone else,

and eventually, you go home,

get some boring job,\Nhave too many kids.

It's God's plan.

But there are\Nother types of people.

People like Charlie,

for whom this amazing plan\Ndoesn't fit.

So, just stay away from him.

He doesn't need this\Nright now.

I disagree.

[EXHALES] Excuse me?Sorry, I just, uh...

He's dying.

He's refusing\Nto go to the hospital.

What he needs\Nis spiritual guidance.

And you're gonna\Ngive him that?

No. God will.

I see.

My big brother\Ndid some missionary work\Nfor New Life.

Went to South America.

Oh.Yeah.

I was the black sheep.

I refused to go to church\Never since I was 12.

Dad knew\NI was a lost cause,

but not my brother,\Nhe loved New Life.

He wrote me a letter\Na few months after he left,

told me he was tired,

and lonely, but he didn't\Nwant to come home

because he didn't want\Nto get married.

He didn't want to get married?

Dad had set it all up.

Pushed him\Ninto getting married

to this girl from the church\Nhe barely knew.

But when he came back,\Nhe met someone else.

Fell in love,\Nstarted a whole new life.

And Dad kicked him out\Nof the church.

And the family.

I thought he was gonna be able

to get over\Nall that religious stuff,

but it was like a cancer.

He couldn't shake it.

He just caved in on himself,

stopped sleeping,\Nstopped eating.

Lost a ton of weight.

One night,\Nhe doesn't come home.

Couple weeks later,\Nthis guy is out jogging

on a bike path\Nnear the river in Lewiston,

sees something washed up\Non shore,

and that was Alan.

The love of Charlie's life,\Nand my brother.

Oh.Yeah. "Oh."

To this day,\Nmy dad won't admit it.

Told the whole congregation\NAlan's death was...

just an unfortunate accident.

Denying him to the end.

Look, I know\Nthat you don't trust me.

And I know\Nthat I haven't known him\Nfor very long,

but I really think\Nthat God brought me here,

right when Charlie\Nneeds it the most.

I just want him to be saved,\Nthat's all...You listen to me!

He doesn't need saving!

In a few days, he's probably\Ngoing to be dead,

so what he needs\Nis for you to leave him alone.

I'm the only one\Nwho can help him.

You understand me?CHARLIE: Liz.

[LIZ SIGHS]

[CUTLERY CLACKING]

[CHARLIE WHEEZES SOFTLY]

[TV TURNS ON]

You wanna watch some Maury?

Sounds good, right?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV]

Actually, I got\Nanother night shift tonight.

I better, uh...

You good for the night?

[SMACKS LIPS]\NI'll leave the remote here.

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[LOCK CLICKS]

[GRUNTS SOFTLY]

[LIGHT SWITCH CLICKING]

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

[SNIFFING]

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

[DOOR SHUTS]

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

MAN: Gambino's!

Yeah. You can, uh...

MAN: Money in the mailbox,\Nleave it on the bench.

Yeah. Thanks.

MAN: I'm Dan.

What?

DAN: I just...\NMy name, it's Dan.

I've been coming here\Nfor a while now.

Just thought you'd wanna know\Nmy name.

Charlie.

DAN: Hey, Charlie.

[MAILBOX OPENS, CLOSES]

DAN: Have a good night, okay?

[FOOTSTEPS RECEDING]

...it sure did.

More Idaho Republicans\Nwant to see Senator Ted Cruz

in the White House\Nthan any other candidate.

Cruz will split\NIdaho's 32 delegates

with Donald Trump,

the only other candidate\Nto clear that 20% threshold.

It was a disappointing night\Nfor Senator Marco Rubio

who failed to win\Nany delegates

in the four states \Nthat held primaries, while...[SWITCHES TV OFF]

[WHEELCHAIR SQUEAKING]

"This apartment smells.

"This notebook is retarded.\NI hate everyone."

[SIGHS]

[SYLLABICALLY]\NThis apartment smells.

This notebook is retarded.

I hate everyone. [LAUGHING]

[COUGHING, WHEEZING]

[GRUNTING IN PAIN]

[COUGHS]

[BREATHING LABORIOUSLY]

And I felt saddest of all

when I read\Nthe boring chapters

that were only descriptions\Nof whales

because [EXHALES] I knew

that the author\Nwas just trying to save us

from his own sad story,

just for a little while.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

This apartment smells.

[INHALES DEEPLY]\NThis apartment smells.

The author\Nwas just trying to save us

from his own sad story.

I hate everyone.

I hate everyone.

Do you have it?

CHARLIE: I'm almost done.

You can wait\Nwhile I finish it up,

print it out.

Maybe while you're waiting,

you can write some more\Nin your notebook.Oh, my God.

You've only written\Na couple sentences so far.

Can you write more?

I kind of hate you.[CHUCKLING] Yeah.

Well, you hate everyone.

Listen, just keep going.

Forget about the poem.

Write whatever you want,\Nwhatever you're thinking.

[BAG THUDS]Okay. Be quiet, just...

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

You know, I was in\Na really strange place\Nin my life

when I married your mom.Did I fucking ask?

I just wish...

I'm sor... I'm sorry.

I understand\Nthat you're angry.

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

But...

you don't have to be angry\Nat the whole world.

You can just be angry at me.

[AGGRESSIVELY]\NOkay, you know what?

You can't throw me away\Nlike a piece of garbage,

and then suddenly\Njust want to be my dad\Neight years later.

You left me\Nfor your boyfriend.

[SIGHS]It's that simple.

And if you've been\Ntelling yourself\Nanything different,

then you're lying to yourself.

But you know what? I'm glad.

I'm glad,\Nbecause you taught me\Nsomething very important.

People are assholes.

Most people learn that\Nway too late.

You... You taught me that\Nwhen I was eight.

Thank you for that.

You know, you could've...

What?

ELLIE: You could've been\Nsending us money.

If you had\Nall that money saved up,

and wanted to be a part\Nof my life so bad,

you could've been\Nsending money to Mom.

I did.

ELLIE: Yeah, I mean more\Nthan just child support.

I did.

When I left your mom,\Nshe did not want me\Naround you.

I hoped

that she would change her mind\Neventually, but she...

You could have\Njust fucking called me.

All this time, you...

You could have been\Na part of my life.

Ellie.

Look at me.

Who would want me\Nto be a part of their life?

I'm hungry.

There's some stuff\Nfor sandwiches in the fridge.

I'll make you one,\Nbut it's going to be small.

And I'm only using turkey,

and no mayonnaise.

What?Nothing.

You're an amazing\Nperson, Ellie.

I hope you know\Nwhat an amazing person\Nyou are.

I couldn't ask\Nfor a more\Nincredible daughter.

I'll print that out\Nfor you now.

[BIRD WINGS FLAP]

[KEYBOARD CLACKING]

[GRATING]

[LIGHTER CLICKS]

[CHARLIE BREATHES HEAVILY]

[LIGHTER CLICKS]

[SNORES SOFTLY]

[PILLS RATTLE]

[DOOR CREAKS]

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

[KNOCK AT DOOR]ELLIE: Yeah?

THOMAS: Uh... Hello?

[KNOCKS] Hi.

ELLIE: Come on.

Is he...

Is he okay?I don't know.

I ground up some Ambien\Nand I put it in his sandwich.

What?

I only gave him a couple.\NHe's fine.

I can take, like,\Nthree at a time.

THOMAS: Where\Ndid you get Ambien?

I had sex with a pharmacist.

I'm kidding. Gross.

My mom pops them\Nlike Tic Tacs.

I don't know if he should\Nbe taking Ambien.

Does this make you nervous?\N'Cause it's just pot.

It's not like\NI'm smoking meth or anything.

I know. I...\NI know what pot is, okay?

No. You only think\Nyou know what pot is

because your parents told you\Na bunch of lies about it.

Don't. I know what drugs are.

I've smoked pot before.Ooh. Oh, I'm so impressed.

I wasn't trying\Nto impress you.

You've not smoked pot before.Yes, I have. It...

It was kind of a problem.

That is the stupidest\Nfucking thing

I've ever heard\Nin my entire life.

I was smoking every day.\NI had a problem.

You were a stoner.\NYou had a hobby.

All right, I'm gonna go.\NJust tell him I was here\Nand I'll...

If you leave, I'll feed him\Nthe rest of the pills\NI have in the bottle.

What?Yeah.

There's, like, 20,\N30 more in here.

I'll crush them up,

I'll put them in some water,\N[PUTS BOTTLE DOWN]

and I'll pour it\Ndown his throat.

You wouldn't actually do that,

would you?Sit down.

So, why do you keep\Ncoming back here?

He needs help.

He needs God in his life\Nright now.

That's a stupid reason.

Do you think he wants\Nto have sex with you?

That is so gross,\Noh, my God. Take a hit.

I don't want...If you don't take a hit,

I'm gonna call the police

and I'm gonna tell them\Nthat you tried to rape me.\NTake a hit.

I don't understand you at all.

Oh, my God.

Is there a carb on this?

Ooh, I'm impressed.

I wasn't trying\Nto impress you.

There isn't a carb.

[SIGHS]

[CAMERA CLICKS][COUGHS]

Calm down.

[COUGHING] What are you\Ngonna do with that picture?

I'm gonna masturbate to it.

Is that what\Nyou want me to say?

You're a pervert.\NTake another hit.

Look, I'm just fucking\Nwith you, all right?

I'm not gonna kill anyone,

I'm not gonna tell anyone\Nthat you tried to rape me.

You're not going to give him\Nany more Ambien?

ELLIE: No.[PILLS RATTLE]

[ZIPS BAG]

Why do you\Nkeep coming back here?

I don't know.

Seriously, if you hate him\Nso much, then why...

I'm done answering\Nquestions now.

Can I take another hit?

It goes against your religion,

and that makes you\Na hypocrite.

Go ahead.

[INHALES]

[CAMERA CLICKS]

I really wish\Nthat you wouldn't do that.

Yeah, I know.\NI heard you the first time.

Do you find me attractive?

[HESITATES]

Because I'm not attracted\Nto you at all,

just to let you know.

I'm not trying to be mean\Nor anything.

I just don't think\Nyou're very good-looking,

or interesting.

Or intelligent.

[SCOFFS]

Oh, my God, grow up.

Maybe someone else\Nfinds you attractive.

Maybe my dad\Nfinds you attractive.

I really wish you...You know, it is so easy

to make you uncomfortable.

It's honestly...\NIt's a little sad.

You can cash that out.

[SCOFFS] If my parents knew\NI was getting high,

getting high while out\Nwitnessing for the church...

You're not from New Life.

What?

There's a kid in the grade\Nbelow me who goes there.

He told me\Nthat they stopped doing

door-to-door stuff last year

when some woman\Nwas out preaching\Nor whatever,

and a guy answered the door\Nwith no clothes on.

I gotta go.Who are you, really?

Come on, just tell me!

THOMAS: Why do you care?Because I think we have

a blossoming friendship.

You're just messing with me.

ELLIE: No, I'm not.

You're not going\Nto tell anyone?

Who am I gonna tell?

I was on a mission.

With a group from my church,\Nback in Waterloo,

my hometown in Iowa.

When my dad\Ncaught me smoking pot,

he thought a mission\Nwould be a good idea.

I mean, the truth is,\Nhe's just embarrassed by me

and wanted me gone\Nfor a while.

Anyway, I just left.

I couldn't do it anymore.

Why?

The mission leader,

this guy, Jerry,

all he had us doing\Nwas standing on corners

and handing out pamphlets.

The end of each day,\Nhe'd be like,

"Look how many people\Nwe're helping," but...

I tried to talk to him

about different ways\Nwe can minister.

I mean, different ways\Nthat we could actually\Nhelp people. But...

You could just tell\Nthat he didn't need to earn

or prove his faith at all.

After a while,\NI was just, like,\N"Am I really helping?"

No. You were not.

Yeah, I started to feel\Nthat way, too.

I don't feel that way,

I know that you weren't\Nhelping people.

It doesn't help people\Nto tell them

that they should believe\Nin God.

Why would that help people?

THOMAS: I just thought...

I see all my family,\Nmy friends,

they're all just so happy.

I just want to be like that.

So, why'd you leave, then?

I was worried\NI was gonna get arrested.

For smoking pot?

For stealing from the mission.

One day,\NI ditched the pamphlets.

I went door-to-door.

I started actually\Nengaging with people.

Finally. I mean, it felt\Nlike I was doing something,

helping someone.

[SCOFFS]

And that night, I went back\Nto the mission meeting,

and I told everyone\Nwhat I did that day,

and Jerry was like,\N"That's not\Nwhat we do, buddy."

And I was like,\N"Well, why not?"

And we got\Nin this huge argument\Nin front of everyone, and...

[SIGHS]

And that night,\NI decided to leave.

And when everyone\Nwas asleep, I...

I took the petty cash.

ELLIE: How much?

$2,436.

Oh.

THOMAS: Yeah. "Oh."

I got on a bus.

Jerry and my parents\Nwere calling me

over and over again.

I just tossed my phone.

After a while,\NI wound up here.

THOMAS: I thought\NI could use this money

for my own mission.

You know, see my faith save\Njust one person.

But now I'm almost\Nout of money. I just...

I can't go home, and...

My parents probably\Nwanna disown me.

[SIGHS] I don't know\Nwhat to do.

You're more interesting\Nto me now.

Thanks.

So, that's why\Nyou wanna save my dad.

[DOOR OPENS]

[CAMERA CLICKS]

[MAIN DOOR LOCK CLICKS]

Mom?

Don't freak out.Shut up.

LIZ: You again?

Charlie?

Charlie?

Charlie?

[SOFTLY] Charlie.

[CHARLIE COUGHS]

[LIGHTER CLICKS]

Not with the oxygen tank.

I'll stand by the window.

[LIZ SIGHS]

Ellie told you\Nshe was coming over?

LIZ: No. I did.

And just in time, looks like.

You having any more pain?

[GRUNTS SOFTLY]

[SIGHS] How easy\Nis it to move?

Not very.

Any confusion?\NHave you felt disoriented,

forgotten where you are\Nor what you're doing?

Am I okay?No, you're not okay.

But as far\Nas the sleeping pills,\Nyou're fine.

I don't think\Nshe gave you much.

Yeah, that's what I told you.

You know, I was a very angry,

very stupid little girl\Nonce, too,

but if you would've given him\Nany more pills than that...

Yeah, but I didn't give him\Nmore pills than that,

I gave him two pills.Ellie?

How much money\Ndid he offer you?

All of it?How do you know\Nabout the money?

You think I'm an idiot?

You think I would believe\Nthat you were coming\Nover here

out of the kindness\Nof your heart?

[LAUGHS] Charlie\Ndoesn't have any money.

[LIZ CONTINUES LAUGHING]

She doesn't know?CHARLIE: Mary.

Where do you think\Nall the money

from his teaching\Nhas been going?

The account for Ellie?

By now, it has to be huge.

Over $100,000 at least, right?

[WHEEZES SOFTLY]

That's not true, is it?

Charlie.

We could have gotten you\Nanything you needed.

Special beds,\Nphysical therapists,

fucking health insurance!

Last winter,\Nwhen my pick-up broke down

and I had to walk\Nthrough the snow

to get your groceries\Nfor you...

I offered to get\Nyour truck fixed.

Yeah, and I refused\Nbecause I thought\Nyou had $700

in your bank account.The money is for Ellie.

It's always been for Ellie.

If there was ever\Nany kind of emergency,

I would have given you\Nthe money.Would you?

Wait.

[PANTING]

Wait.[DOOR SHUTS]

Mom, you're not getting\Nany of my money.

MARY: Oh, shut up, Ellie.

Leave, right now.

Wait.

Ellie, I know\Nyou didn't mean to hurt me.\NI know you didn't...

Okay, you know what?\NListen to me. Listen.

I don't care about you!

Get that through\Nyour fucking skull.

[CRYING] Ellie, please.Just fucking die already!

Enough!

Ellie, your... Your essay.

[OPENS DRAWER]

So... It's...

It's a really good essay!

[SOBS, WHEEZES]

[COUGHS]

[WHEEZES]Jesus, Charlie.

Do you have anything?

It's above the sink,

the kitchen counter\Non the left.

The other one.\N[SNIFFLES] Yup.

[COUGHING, WHEEZING]

MARY: Our deal was

to wait until she's out\Nof the house\Nto give her the money.

What's the difference?

The difference is she's 17\Nand still in high school.

She's gonna spend it\Non face tattoos\Nor ponies, or something.

I think that she's\Na lot smarter than that.

[MARY SCOFFS]

So...

How's it been?

Getting to know her.[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

She's amazing.[MARY CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS] You still do that.

What?

That positivity.

It's so annoying.

You're a complete cynic.

Just trying to balance us out.

Yeah. I guess I do miss that.

That one thing.

Just that?

That, and the cooking.

Last month, tried to make\Na stir-fry thing.CHARLIE: Yeah?

Almost set the entire\Napartment building on fire.

[LAUGHS]

[COUGHING]

[GASPS, COUGHS]

[GASPING]

[CONTINUES COUGHING]

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

I never knew\Nyou were doing this\Nto yourself.

Well, you never asked\Nhow I was doing.

You never asked\Nhow I was doing either.

Every month, it's just,

"How much money do you need?"\Nor, "How's Ellie?"

You didn't tell me\Nthat she's flunking\Nout of school.

I guess I just didn't need\Nthe lecture

about my involvement\Nin her education.

That is not what I...\N[EXHALES]

[EXHALES]

How're you doing, Mary?[SCOFFS]

I know I'm not supposed\Nto be around her.

You could probably call\Nthe police if you wanted to.Oh, Christ.

You really think I'd do that?

You fought me pretty hard\Nfor full custody.

And I don't blame you\Nfor keeping her from me.

Charlie, need I remind you\Nthat you left us.

I know.

And I was left raising our kid

and explaining to people\Nthat my husband\Nleft me for a man.

But you didn't\Nhave to cut me out\Nof her life like that.

Oh, please.

You were more than happy\Nto forget about us for a while.

You know that.

I know I made\Na lot of mistakes.

But I just wanted\Nto see her, Mary.

I've always just...\NJust wanted to see her.

It's all about you.

Even now, huh?

[CHARLIE SIGHS HEAVILY]

Now you know why\NI kept you from her.

What?

She's awful. Isn't she?

She's a terror.\NAnd you think it's my fault.

Wait, is that why\Nyou kept her from me\Nall this time?

Because you thought\Nthat I would think\Nthat you're a bad mother?

At first.

But later,\Nwhen she was 15, 16,

I was worried\Nshe would hurt you.

Hurt me?

It's ridiculous.

I don't take any pleasure\Nin admitting it.

I'm her mother,\Nfor Christ's sake.

You know, I spent\Nway too much time\Ntelling myself,

you know,\N"She's just rebellious,

"she's just difficult."

Charlie, she's evil.

She's not evil.

What are you doing?

[MARY TYPING]\NYou think it's just me?

"There'll be\Na grease fire in hell\Nwhen he starts to burn."

Don't feel bad.

I've made\Nquite a few appearances\Non that thing.

She's a strong writer.

[RAISES VOICE]\NThat's your response?

This isn't evil.

This is honesty.

Do you know how much bullshit\NI've read in my life?

My God, I don't\Nunderstand you, Charlie!

Every time I call\Nand ask you how she's doing,

you say, "She's fine."

If she's so evil, then...

[MARY SHOUTING] What was I\Nsupposed to tell you?

Huh? That she was off\Nmaking her classmates cry

or slashing\Nher teachers' tires?

You didn't want\Nto hear that stuff!

I could have helped her!

She doesn't want your help!\NShe doesn't want anyone!

You think I didn't want her\Nto have a dad?

She adored you!

The only reason\Nyou married me\Nin the first place

was to have a kid,\NI know that!

Mary, please!

[MARY SIGHS]

Well, this brings back\Nmemories, doesn't it?

[SIGHS]

[WHEEZES, COUGHS]

Listen.

I never got to say\Nthat I was sorry.

What would you have\Nto be sorry about?

That's not what I mean.

I mean...

About your friend.

Oh.

His name was Alan.

I know\Nhis fucking name, Charlie.

I saw him once,

in the Walmart parking lot.

He wasn't looking too good,

and I don't think\Nit was long before he...

Anyway, I had\Nall these things that I...

I wanted to say to him,

you know, hurl at him\Nlike bricks. [SNIFFLES]

But I...

I asked if he wanted\Nsome help.

He let me carry\Na couple of bags to his car,

he said thank you,

and I left.

I never even told him\Nwho I was.

[WHEEZES SOFTLY]

[WHEEZING]

You're wheezing.

Yeah, it's gotten worse.

Should I call someone?

No. Um...

You'll let me hear?

[GRUNTS]

[HOARSELY] How do I sound?

That was the first time\Nwe've all been together

in almost nine years.\NDo you realize that?

[CHUCKLES DRYLY]

When Ellie was little,

when we took that trip\Nto the Oregon Coast together,

Ellie played\Nin the sand, and...

[SNIFFLES]

...we laid out on the beach.

I went swimming in the ocean.

That was the last time\NI ever went\Nswimming, actually.

I kept cutting my legs\Non the rocks.

The water was so cold.

[OCEAN WAVES SPLASHING]

And you were so mad\Nthat my legs bled

and stained the seats\Nin the minivan.

[CHUCKLES]

And you said,\Nfor days after that,\NI smelled like seawater.

[CHARLIE LAUGHS][SNIFFLES]

[WHEEZES] You remember that?

[COUGHING]

[SNIFFLES]

You sound awful.

[SIGHS] I'm dying, Mary.

Fuck you.

I'm sorry.

Fuck you.

[CRYING] For sure?

Yeah. For sure.

[CRIES, SIGHS]

CHARLIE: Listen to me.

I need to make certain\Nthat she's going to be okay.

We can't give up on her.

You already gave up on her!

You gave up on her\Nwhen she was eight years old!

I wish I could have been\Na part of her life, Mary,

a part of both of your lives.

Go to the hospital.

You have money,\Njust go to the hospital!

We both know that\Nthat money is for Ellie.

But beyond that,

I need to know\Nthat she's gonna have\Na decent life.

Where she cares about people

and other people\Ncare about her.

[CRYING] And she's\Ngonna be okay.

I need to go.Mary.

She doesn't have\Nanyone else!I have to go.

[CRYING] I need to know\Nthat I have done

one thing right with my life!

We both played our parts.

I raised her, and you're\Ngiving her the money.

It's the best we could do.

[SIGHS]

Do you need anything

before I leave?

Water, or something.

[COUGHS]

[SIGHS]

[COUGHS]

[PHONE BUTTON BEEPS]

[SNORING][THUNDER RUMBLES]

[RAIN POURING]

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[COUGHS]

[WATER TRICKLING]

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

DAN: Gambino's!

[CHARLIE COUGHING] Yeah.

DAN: Charlie?

You okay?

CHARLIE: Yeah. [CLEARS THROAT]

The money is in the, um...

DAN: Sure.

[MAILBOX OPENS]

DAN: You sure\Nyou're doing okay?

Yeah. Thanks, Dan.

DAN: Have a good night, okay?

[MAILBOX CLOSES]

[RAIN POURING HEAVILY]

[MUMBLES]

[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[TYPING]

[WHISPERING]\NFuck these essays.

Fuck these readings.

Just write something\Nfucking honest.\N[BANGING KEYBOARD]

[SLAMS LAPTOP SHUT]

[SIGHS]

[INTENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]

[RETCHES]

[SPITS]

[COUGHS, WHEEZES]

[GASPS]

[COUGHING]

[CONTINUES COUGHING]

[STIFLES SOB]

[SOBBING]

[COUGHS, SOBS]

[CONTINUES SOBBING]

[COUGHS]

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

[GASPS] Liz?

[KNOCKING CONTINUES]

THOMAS: Can I come inside?

It's not locked.

Hi.What's wrong?

Thank you.For what?

Look, I'm not exactly\Nwho I said I was.

I'm not from New Life.

What? I... I don't...

I've been in a pretty bad\Nplace recently.

I... I stole some money,

and I ran away from home\Na few months ago.

And your daughter,\Nshe took these pictures\Nof me smoking pot,

and a recording\Nor something like that,

and she found my church\Nin Waterloo somehow,

and then she sent it to them,

and they sent it\Nto my parents...Wait.

...and you know\Nwhat they said?

"It's just money."

And they forgive me.

And they love me,\Nand they want me\Nto come home.

How awful is that?

Ellie, she...\NShe did all that?

I can't tell if she was trying\Nto help me or hurt me or...

Do you ever get\Nthat feeling from her?[CHUCKLES]

How did she even... She...

She found your church,\Nshe tracked down your parents.

She really did all that?

Yeah. I mean,\NI'm going home tomorrow.

But, Charlie, before I go...[LAUGHS]

...I have to show you this.

[BREATHES UNCOMFORTABLY]

What... What's wrong?[GRUNTS HEAVILY]

Wait, are you okay?

It just hurts.Charlie,

I want to help you.\NI know I can help you.

I'm not going to the hospital.

No, I know.\NI'm not gonna make you go.

But I can help you.

"Therefore,\Nbrothers and sisters..."What are you doing?

"...we have an obligation,

"but it is not to the flesh,\Nto live according to it.

"For if you live\Naccording to the flesh,\Nyou will die.

"But if by the Spirit\Nyou put to death

"the misdeeds of the body,\Nthen you will live."

I... I don't understand.

Charlie, when I read this,\NI finally got it.

I finally understood\Nwhy God brought me here\Nto you.

So I could help you understand\Nwhat happened to Alan,

so it doesn't happen\Nto you, too.

How did you get this?

Charlie, Alan tried\Nto escape God's will.

He chose his life with you\Nover God.

But this is why\Nhe was so obsessed\Nwith this verse.

He knew that he was living\Nin the flesh,

and not in the Spirit.

He never prayed for salvation,\Nbut it's not too late for you.

Through the Spirit,\Nyou can put to death

the misdeeds of the body,\Nand you will live.

You think Alan died\Nbecause he chose\Nto be with me?

You think God\Nturned his back on him

because he and I were in love?

Yes.

[SIGHS]

You know something?\NI wasn't always this big.

Yeah, I know.

I mean, I wasn't\Nthe best-looking guy\Nin the room, but...

Alan loved me.

He thought I was beautiful.

Okay.

Halfway through the semester,

he started meeting me\Nduring my office hours.

And we were...\NWe were crazy\Nabout one another.

But we waited

until the class\Nwas over before...

This isn't, uh...

It was just after classes\Nhad ended for the year.

It was perfect\Ntemperature outside.

We took a walk\Nin the arboretum,

and we kissed.

Charlie, stop.

We would spend entire nights\Nlying together, naked.

We would make love.

We would make love.

Do you find that disgusting?

Charlie, God is ready\Nto help you.

Oh, I hope\Nthat there isn't a God,

because I hate to think\Nthat there's an afterlife,

and that Alan can see\Nwhat I have done to myself.

Charlie...That he can see\Nmy swollen feet

and the sores on my skin,

and the patches of mold

in between the flaps.Stop.

The infected ulcers\Non my ass,

and the sack of fat on my back\Nthat turned brown last year.

Okay, stop!This is disgusting?

Yes!I'm disgusting?

[SHOUTING] Yes,\Nyou're disgusting! You're...

[BREATH SHUDDERING,\NWHISPERING] I'm sorry.

What?

Go home to your family.

[CHARLIE COUGHS][DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES][CONTINUES COUGHING]

[COUGHS HEAVILY]

CHARLIE: Well,\Nyour complaints\Nhave been heard.

I've been replaced

by someone who will,\Nno doubt,

have you rewrite,\Nand rewrite, and rewrite,

be more objective,

less authentic,

less you, with every draft.

But some of you saw my post

about writing\Nsomething honest.

And...

[SIGHS]

...the things\Nthat some of you wrote...

Kristy, you wrote,

"My parents want me\Nto be a radiologist,

"but I don't even know\Nwhat that is."

Julian, you wrote,

"I'm sick of people telling me\Nthat I have promise."

Adam, you wrote,

"I think I need to accept\Nthat my life

"isn't going to be\Nvery exciting."

You all wrote these\Namazing, honest things, and...

you've been so honest\Nwith me that I... I...

[GRUNTS SOFTLY]

...I just want to be...

honest with you, too.

[EXHALES]

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

These assignments\Ndon't matter.

This course doesn't matter.

College doesn't matter.

These amazing, honest things\Nthat you wrote,

they matter.

[LAPTOP CRASHES]

[CHARLIE WHEEZES]

[CHARLIE COUGHS]

[WHEEZING CONTINUES]

I'm sorry.Don't.

[BREATHES ERRATICALLY]

[SUPPRESSES GRUNT]

I really hate you\Nfor putting me through\Nthis again, you know that?

Those last few months\Nbefore Alan...

I'd come over here,\Nshake him, scream at him,

just trying to get him\Nto fucking eat something.

God, that was awful!It was awful for me, too.

Yeah? Well,\Nyou weren't the one

who had to identify his body,

all bloated...They wouldn't let me.

I wasn't family.

[SIGHS]

[CHARLIE COUGHS AND WHEEZES]

I got you two meatball subs.\NExtra cheese.

[SIGHS, SNIFFLES]

I don't know what I'm doing.

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

I'm not going to the hospital.

I'm not asking you to.

I can't do this anymore.

I tried to save him, Liz.

I thought\Nthat if I just loved him,

that he wouldn't need\Nanyone else.

I told him he didn't need God,

he didn't need anyone but me.

Charlie,

all I know\Nis that you gave Alan

the best years of his life.

If it weren't for you,\Nhe would have jumped off

that bridge years earlier.[SHUDDERS]

Nobody could've saved him.

Believe me,\NI spent years trying.

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

I don't think I believe anyone\Ncan save anyone.

She saved him.

She wasn't trying to hurt him.\NShe was trying to help him.

Who are you talking about?

He's going home. She did that.

Charlie...She didn't do it to hurt him,

she did it to send him home.

Do you feel light-headed?\NCharlie, look at me.

She was trying to help him.Who?

Ellie. She was trying\Nto help him,

She just wanted\Nto send him home.

Do you ever get\Nthe feeling that...

people are incapable\Nof not caring?

People are amazing.

[DOOR OPENS]

What the fuck did you do?

What's wrong with him?

He's dying.

So, call someone.

[SOFTLY] No.Call a fucking ambulance!

Liz.

I need to talk to him.

I'm not leaving you\Nalone with him.

I need to talk to him alone.

[SOFTLY] Liz.

Please.

Okay.

[STIFLED SOBBING]

LIZ: I'll call someone.

Charlie.

I'll wait downstairs.

Why did you do that?[CHUCKLING] What?

I failed.

It's a really good essay.

Are you just trying\Nto screw me over\None last time?

I don't care about you!\NI don't care\Nthat you're dying.

Do you want me to fail\Nout of high school?

Is that why you did this?I didn't write it.

This is the essay\Nthat you gave me yesterday.

You didn't read it.I don't need to read it.

Read it.

[BREATHING LABORIOUSLY]

This is...

I know what this is.

[CHUCKLING] I knew you would.

I wrote this.

You never forget anything.

I wrote this in eighth grade\Nfor English. Why do you...

"And I felt saddest of all

"when I read\Nthe boring chapters

"that were only descriptions\Nof whales,

"because I knew that

"the author\Nwas just trying to save us

"from his own sad story,

"just for a little while."

[CHARLIE CHUCKLES][SNIFFLES]

How do you have this?Your mother,

she sent it to me\Nfour years ago.

I wanted to know\Nhow you were doing in school,

and she sent it.

And it's the best essay\NI've ever read.

[SOBBING] Why are you\Nfucking with me like this?

I'm not.

[SOBS] I'm sorry\Nfor leaving you.

I was in love, and...

[INHALES LABORIOUSLY]I left you behind.

You did not deserve that.I don't...

I don't know how\N[INHALES LABORIOUSLY]

I could have done such a thing.

You're so beautiful. [SOBS]

You're amazing.Stop.

You're amazing.[SOBS]

This essay is amazing.

This essay is you.

Stop saying that.

This essay is you.Stop saying that!

You're the best thing\NI have ever done.

[CRIES OUT IN PAIN]

[COUGHS]What's the matter?

Ellie!

No. Okay, I can't\Nbe here right now.

I have to go.You're perfect.

You'll be happy.

You care about people. [SOBS]

The ambulance is coming,\Nthey'll help you.

No. They won't.

You're going to the hospital.No.

You just need surgery,\Nor something!

Read it to me. [GRUNTS]What?

[STRUGGLING]\NIf you want to help,\Nread it to me.

You'll help if you read it.

You asshole.\NYou fat fucking asshole!

You'll help...Fuck you.

Please.Fuck you!

Ellie!

[SOBBING] Daddy, please.

[ELLIE SNIFFLING]

"In the amazing book, Moby Dick,\Nby the author Herman Melville,

"the author recounts his story\Nof being at sea.

"In the first part of his book,

"the author,\Ncalling himself Ishmael,

"is in a small seaside town

"and he is sharing a bed\Nwith a man named Queequeg.

"The author and Queequeg\Ngo to church

"and later set out on a ship

"captained by a pirate\Nnamed Ahab,

"who is missing a leg,

"and very much wants\Nto kill the whale

"which is named Moby Dick,\Nand which is white.

"In the course of the book,

"the pirate Ahab encounters\Nmany hardships."[GRUNTS]

"His entire life is set\Naround trying to kill\Na certain whale."

[PANTING]"I think this is sad

"because this whale\Ndoesn't have any emotions,

"and doesn't know how bad\NAhab wants to kill him.

"He's just a poor

"big animal."

[CHARLIE GASPS FOR BREATH]

"And I feel bad\Nfor Ahab as well,

"because he thinks\Nthat his life will be better

"if he can just kill this whale,

"but in reality,\Nit won't help him at all."

[CHARLIE BREATHING SHALLOWLY]

"I was very saddened\Nby this book,

"and I felt many emotions\Nfor the characters.

"And I felt saddest of all

"when I read\Nthe boring chapters

"that were only descriptions\Nof whales,

"because I knew\Nthat the author was just trying

"to save us\Nfrom his own sad story,

"just for a little while."

[GASPING]

[WAVES LAPPING]

[EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING]

"This book made me think\Nabout my own life,

"and then it made me\Nfeel glad for my..."

[BREATHING ERRATICALLY]

[LAUGHING]

[CHUCKLES]

[MUSIC SWELLS]

[GASPS]

[WAVES CRASHING]

[EMOTIONAL MUSIC CONTINUES]

[GRIM MUSIC PLAYING]

[WAVES CRASHING GENTLY]