Original subtitles

[dramatic music]

♪

- We're going to have to pull you

for medical reasons.

- [bleep], man.

Man!

At least I can say I gave it hell.

It hurts to know it's over.

- Yes!

Whoa.

Mm. Good fat.

I just have too [bleep] much on the line out here.

I don't think I can tap out. I just don't have it in me.

- Oh, my God.

I just got another squirrel!

It's so time for a woman to win this.

♪

male narrator: In "Alone's" coldest location ever...

ten participants fight to survive the Arctic.

- The Arctic is one of the most

physically demanding places on earth.

- So freaking cold right now.

narrator: Battling subzero temperatures...

- This climate's harsh, it's extreme,

it's mean. It's got teeth.

- Get caught out here in a whiteout,

you're in trouble.

narrator: Vicious predators...

- Heard something big moving back there.

- It's me against the wolverine right now.

narrator: And isolation.

- There's nothing to fill that void.

It's just you left alone with your thoughts.

narrator: How long will they endure?

- House is on fire!

- I'm scared, but I don't want to tap.

- This is the most unforgiving landscape I've ever seen.

narrator: The last one standing wins.

- This environment will strip away everything and anything

you thought you had.

♪

- Hey, buddy.

What's up, little guy?

He's trying to steal a rabbit hide.

There he goes.

Oh, no.

He's getting too comfortable.

We'll see. He might be back tonight.

Wouldn't be surprised.

Stupid little marten.

♪

Hmm...

Inside it feels pretty nice and then I come out and, "Ahh!"

It's colder than I thought it was.

♪

I don't dislike the cold, but...

it's real tough.

The hardest thing has been feeling like I could

survive out here but not really being able to.

My weight loss is a problem.

I'm gonna go get a piece of meat

to cut up.

I have a protein overload here

but about out of fat.

I just have that one fish I caught.

I have to just eat it slowly

and stretch it out.

Oh, my gosh.

Look what happened.

Ahh!

♪

I left the ladder up. Ah!

What an idiot.

Shoot.

These are the mistakes you can't make

when you're the skinniest person out here.

The wolverine is back.

How much food have they stolen?

How many weeks have they taken from me?

♪

Ah, man.

Stupid wolverine.

All my defense systems don't work very well

when the ladder's up.

♪

Oh, my gosh. Just scraping the fat

off of everything.

So annoying. I can't believe I did that.

♪

Golly, this one they really pillaged.

They took all the food value out of it.

Look at all--they stripped all the skin off of it.

That's all I need is the skin.

Ugh. Can you believe it?

♪

- Okay, I've decided I need to put

my belt on...

my pants that I'm wearing underneath my bibs

because my pants keep falling down.

But I wanted to see how many holes I have...

um...

shrunk.

And, um, it looks like...

from there...

to there I have gone down...

um...

Let's see. One, two, three,

four, five, six...

Potentially seven holes in my belt...

since I got here.

♪

I feel like I almost have, like,

multiple personalities inside me right now.

One that wants to go home, be home,

and is just over it, and then one who is kind of

the voice of reason just saying,

"Hey, you just got to be here for a bit longer.

Promise we'll get home and everything will be

just the way we want it.

♪

Yeah, I think I'm going to hang out for a minute

and then go out and check the gill net.

The weather sounds like it's trying to act up

a little bit out there.

[tense music]

♪

[winds blowing harshly]

- So as you can see,

conditions got a little bit rugged last night

and, uh...

still are.

We got a few inches of ice probably

on the end of my gillnet.

Still don't know how--

how easy it's going to be to get out of here

and, uh...

Hope--hope for the best.

♪

In a survival situation,

when you're flustered in a bad way,

when you have not eaten,

that's the most important time to eat.

When you are cold, that's the most important time

it is to get warm.

When you are distracted

by a storm or by whatever,

that's when you have to be most focused.

And that's survival.

The harder it gets, the harder you have to get.

♪

That is, um...

utterly disappointing.

The, uh...

end of my gill net...

near the fat end of the pole was locked into the ice

when I was pulling it out

and, um...

I just ripped the heck out of that end of it.

Right down the line. I don't know the extent

of the damage yet, but, uh...

I might have just totally ruined my gill net.

♪

♪

- I started thinking about a biscuit.

Just a biscuit.

How excited I would be

just to eat a biscuit.

Which then brought me to thinking about butter,

and I remembered butter. [laughs]

And the taste of butter,

and I got so excited

about the idea of eating a biscuit with butter on it.

Oh, my God. The little things.

Just the little things.

♪

I got three squirrels yesterday.

But with the cold temperatures

I'm just really concerned about running out of food.

♪

I recognize that I'm at that point where I'm starting

to metabolize my muscle.

I don't have any fat left to give.

I'm holding out hope for ice fishing.

And I know that the land is going to continue

its trend of recognizing me and taking care of me,

and feeding me.

Certainly that means that the lake has some fish

it wants to offer up.

So I'm out here on the ice

and it is sunset.

Come winter, the things in the salmon family,

including lake trout become increasingly nocturnal.

So dusk is kind of a good time

for ice fishing.

And it's clearly...

like, over a foot thick.

Dang, it's really, really thick.

It's super, super thick ice.

Got my tackle, I got my rabbit's stomach...

for bait.

Well, guess the thing is just to pick a spot and go for it.

So I'm going to pick this spot.

[clanging]

♪

I don't know how good my chances

of getting through this ice are.

Yeah, it's impossible to say how thick it is,

'cause all I can judge by

is the closest crack.

If I can't get through to the fish...

I don't know what I can do.

All I have left is my snares.

♪

Please, please, please.

Oh, come on.

♪

Oh, man. It is getting super cold.

[bleep].

♪

It is getting dark.

Maybe if I had had a hatchet or an axe,

I could get through.

Please, please, please.

Oh, my God.My face is s

I think it's just not going to happen.

♪

Just don't think I'm going to make it with the tool I have

and how thick the ice is.

♪

The amount of work to get through this hole

versus the likely calories...

Not all that great an equation, really.

Really don't want to just, like, give up,

but it's just not worth the energy.

Gets you every time, the ol' Arctic.

♪

♪

- Completely iced in right now.

All that noise is crunchy ice on my parka and pants.

But...

got the lines in the water.

Hopefully it pays off.

Gill netting is out, so I decided to just go all in

with my hooks and ice fish.

I've baited up six lines with double hooks

and a chunk of intestine on each one.

And I'm still feeling pretty damn confident.

You know, I have cold soup that I got started last night

so it's not very well cooked right now.

And I have one last piece of smoked fish.

So what I think I'm going to do

is have the soup just before I go to bed.

♪

Before I came out here,

I had a conversation with my grandfather.

Him and Natalie are my two biggest fans

out here right now, and there's some words

ringing in my head that Grandpa said that just...

are heavy in my mind right now.

He said, "All you have to do is not quit."

And...

he's right. That's...

that's what it comes down to,

and, uh...

I gotta tell you, Grandpa, I love you very much, man.

You are...

you are a big part of the rean

of why I've been able to make it this far.

You're definitely a big part of the reason

of why I'm going to continue on.

♪

I want to do a lot of important things

with this money.

It would be awesome to be able to just take off

for a couple of weeks and go see family.

And I'd like to be able to do that

at least once a season 'cause I have all these nieces

and nephews that are growing up

and I don't really get to see them.

So, that's a goal of mine.

And winning this thing would make that happen.

♪

All right, soup is hot.

Tastes like fish.

[fire crackling]

Holy [bleep]. [bleep].

Ah! I can't--

[dramatic music]

♪

[bleep].

♪

Ugh! [bleep].

♪

Oh, God [bleep].

♪

Uh...

No...

♪

♪

[bleep]. There it is.

$1/2 million up in smoke.

♪

[tense music]

♪

Oh, man.

♪

My bedding caught on fire.

And that was the end of it. I couldn't put it out.

I didn't have water.

The tarp caught on fire, and that was that.

It's too much dry grass and bedding in there.

♪

I'm [bleep].

Oh, man. I'm out of here.

♪

[radio beeping]

Hey, this is Nathan.

My shelter caught fire in a big way.

I'm not hurt, but my shelter

is in 15 foot flames right now.

♪

And I'm in exposed situation.

♪

That was probably the bear can--the bear--

I don't know what that was.

But I gotta move more [bleep] away from this fire.

♪

It's nighttime, and they can't fly the helicopter at night,

and there's no way to get here by boat or any other way.

So I have to survive the night out here

and basically use the blaze as a heat source.

♪

This really sucks.

I'm gonna go stand near the fire.

♪

Ahh.

I don't think sunrise is till around 8:00 a.m. or...

or so these days. Could be later.

So I've got at least a seven hour wait.

And this isn't going to burn for seven hours.

And it's only going to get colder.

♪

I have my axe. I have my boots.

And I have this big fire,

but a lot of my required safety equipment is gone.

What do you do?

♪

Okay, so I am beginning construction

of a shelter.

So I am in the process

of putting together some tripods.

I'll put a ridge pole across the top of those.

And then hopefully there's enough trusses

in this fire left to salvage as the back of a lean-to.

♪

Hey, this should be good. [sniffles]

Ah, my feet are getting cold.

Super sad.

God, I lost some precious items in that fire.

Including a pretty sweet future...

that I'm going to have to work for

in a different way now.

♪

72 days.

Burns up in half an hour.

♪

It's so cold.

♪

[helicopter whirring]

♪

I knew it was an emergency situation and I needed--

I needed to alert you guys.

It was a no brainer.

Um...

That's just...

just the nature of the beast when you're standing inside

of a shelter that's burning down around you.

Um, it needed to happen.

♪

I did not see myself leaving like this.

Only one person wins a prize big enough

to change the rest of their life.

And I'm having a real difficult time realizing that

I am going home with nothing.

I made some pretty massive plans

that would have been very well helped with that money.

♪

But going into this,

I very much wanted to have

an experience out here of engagement.

Whatever it is you're doing, if it makes you present

and gives you something to care about,

then that's what's important.

Happiness is not circumstantial.

It's your attitude and what

you're going to decide to do with it.

And the only currency that we have is gratitude.

♪

And if you don't have gratitude in your life

you better figure out how to get it

'cause this is as good as it gets.

♪

[dramatic music]

♪

- When I go back,

I'm going to make those...

bone marrow--I'm going to get bone marrow...

and I think 80%

cacao chocolate,

cut it into nice little slices and melt--

put some melted chocolate around the outside.

Oh, man, that's going to be good.

That's going to be my signature treat.

Nobody's going to know how I did it.

It's going to be so good.

Don't steal my idea.

Uhh...

Mm, I thought about that this morning.

Couldn't stop thinking about it.

Almost had to hit the red button

just to go try it out.

♪

A few days ago, a wolverine came back

and ate a big side out of that fish,

which really sucks.

Predators are bad here. It's really tough for me.

I can't do anything about 'em.

I thought I had enough food to be out here a long time.

That was my dietary knowledge lacking.

It's looking pretty grim. Like, I don't know

what options I have.

But what can I do?

Quit?

Here we are. Another unproductive day

ice fishing is our prediction, but...

you never know.

It's worth a shot.

I'm gonna try another trick today.

[grunting]

I'm just making it up. I don't know if it works.

But I'm gonna...

shine my flashlight into the hole.

Now that it's dark all around, shine it right on my bait.

And maybe...

it'll draw a fish over, huh?

Yeah...

Glow...

Glow...

Then...

I don't know if this will provide any light

into the depths, but we're going to try.

Just drop it in there.

Plink.

I feel like I have the skill to continue.

And I have the will to continue.

But I don't have the body fat

because I didn't know the moose wasn't a sustainable

amount of food, and I don't know exactly

in what way that fish are better but I'm guessing

they're a better fat source because,

you know, there's, like, a lot of native tribes

and stuff living exclusively off fish.

♪

I think my flashlight's not going to do

any good I hate to say.

Not bright enough.

♪

Unbelievable.

Un-be-lieve-a-ble.

That is energy being wasted right there.

Maybe I should just go home.

[sighing] Ahh.

♪

- It is interesting what hunger does.

I have been boiling a lovely little mixed soup

of whatever I could find

that actually had some amount of edibility.

So I've got this pot going.

It's got several squirrel tails,

a bunch of...

rabbit front feet and a whole bunch of bones.

But I thought you might enjoy watching me eat

my weird ass soup.

I gotta get creative with edible things

I have on hand, 'cause not eating

is starting to become an issue for sure.

Here's a rabbit paw.

I assume I'm getting some amount of calorie from it.

Every single day I'm hungry,

but every single day I make it

is another amazing day.

♪

There's no part of me that wants to leave.

I freaking love this place.

I just don't want to starve any more in it.

All right, let's get out and check my rabbit snares.

♪

Striking out on fishing is affecting my confidence.

I'm committed to being here as long as possible

and that means making use of every food resource

I possibly can.

But there's just nothing to work with,

which is not good.

♪

Fingers crossed. I really need those traps

to have some rabbits in 'em.

So there's nothing here.

That is really frustrating.

♪

[bleep].

♪

[sighs] So I've been sitting

and thinking.

I know how freaking skinny I am.

I know it's not sustainable.

So I know I have

a really profound choice.

What do I want to give to myself

and what do I want to honor most.

The idea of staying longer because I might have a chance

at winning, and a chance at a pile of money.

Is that what I want?

$500,000 would change my life profoundly.

Growing up, we were always really poor and my mom

poured herself into being an amazing parent for me

and I know it was a struggle.

And I really wanna give back to my mama.

There's a big part of me that's thinking,

"I need to stay."

But, you know, I'm not going to lie,

it's getting harder.

I'm freaking starving,

and I have been asking so much of my body.

and it has been doing everything I ask of it.

My body has given its all.

And if it's getting to a point where it feels

there is going to be long term damage,

that's a point past which I don't want to push it.

♪

It's a lot of back-and-forthing.

It's a lot to think about, but that's where I'm at.

♪

- Last night my mind was very active.

Thinking about all the...

[yawning]

tough hand I was dealt.

I had a lot of weight to make up

on everybody else and then

I feel like I almost did.

Then the wolverine struck.

Stole...

who knows how many pounds of fat.

It's hard to estimate how much they ate,

but at least probably 15 pounds in total.

And that was just tough luck for me.

Then the fact that my fishing spot was tough.

♪

Tough hand.

♪

I feel a great urgency.

I don't have the body fat.

I can't protect my meat.

I'm helpless right now.

The fact that I was-- feel like I was so close

to making it work makes it that much tougher.

At this point, barring a miracle,

I'm just done.

♪

- [laughs]

[laughing and crying]

Hi, everyone.

It's a little emotional.

It's just so much...

mixed emotion of, like, joy and sorrow right now.

[sniffles]

I've loved being here with every fiber of my being.

And I don't really want to leave, but,

my body's done.

And I'm just more and more aware of that

as time goes on, like, all along.

[somber music]

And looking at my body, I can just see

how much it's given,

and know that it has given

all that I want to ask it to right now.

♪

Today's my birthday,

and it felt like the most amazing gift

I could give myself to put myself somewhere

where I have warmth and food

and the ability to care for myself.

It's hard to describe how sad I am.

I don't want to leave.

I could have done really beautiful things

that really helped the world, myself, and my loved ones

with the money.

But for me,

tapping out is an ending and a beginning

wrapped up in one.

It's an ending of what has been the most amazing

and enriching experience of my life.

I'm absolutely changed by my time here.

I've never felt so deeply connected

to any place on earth in my life.

What a thing to get to experience.

I've never been so aware

of how all humans up to a couple hundred years ago

and every wild animal lives.

We live in this culture that puts winning

and puts money on top of everything,

so to make a choice to let go of the idea of that

in favor of self care, that's the message

that I want to leave here with.

It's the beginning of a new chapter in my life.

And I'm so excited for what comes next.

♪

[triumphant music]

♪

- Okay, let's see about this.

♪

Holy cow.

Oh, my goodness.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Yeah! [laughs]

All right!

Whoo!

Look at that pike!

[wind whipping]

Selfie.

Selfie. Hey!

Oof.

It's cool. I didn't realize I had

a selfie stick until just now.

[laughs]

Whee!

I'm in the Arctic!

Probably the last contestant

to realize he had a selfie stick.

[tense music]

♪

Some fish soup for lunch.

What a difference a fish can make, eh?

[chuckles]

Should be good broth this time.

That guy had a lot of fat on him.

Which is pretty cool.

This is what we do while we wait for a med check.

The team's coming.

I think that they're concerned about me.

So I've been thinking all night about what I'm going to say

to them to try to convince them that I'm fine.

Really don't want to lose any more weight.

I'm gonna just eat as much of the fatty stuff as I can.

See where that gets me.

Not bad. Not bad at all.

Well, here they come.

Let's go to see.

[helicopter whirring]

♪

Need to eat a little more.

♪

- How are you feeling right now?

- I'm doing pretty good.

I'm, like, one of the tallest,

thinnest...

but also strong people that I know.

Like, I know other people that are my height

but they're pretty weak.

So it's like, I'm actually really fit

when I'm lean and all that.

I think I can-- I literally think

I'm gonna be-- I can healthily be lighter

than anyone else out here.

I feel as good as any day I've been--

you know, I feel mentally crisp.

I feel good.

Initially when I showed up here I was like,

"Man, I really think if I can make it to the end of January,

January 20th..." That was my goal.

You know, like, I think people will probably quit by then.

I don't know if I'll be able to physically make it, but...

Oh, my God! - [yelps]

Janahlee, what?

Oh, my goodness! - You won the game!

- Oh, wow!

- I love you. - Oh, hallelujah.

I can't believe it! I really can't believe it!

[laughter]

What? Ahh!

- You did it. - I can't believe it.

That's wild. - You taste like fish.

- I just was eating dinner ea--lunch.

What, man?

That's so crazy.

Wow. - You did it!

- I got more in the tank! I got... [laughs]

Oh, man, Janahlee. Wow!

I can't believe it. [laughs]

Oh, my goodness.

I don't even have to miss Christmas.

I'm so happy. - No!

- This is so nice.

Oh, man. That's so weird.

No, this is where I hung the hide.

The moose hide.

- You got a moose! - [laughs]

I got a moose. Look.

We could have mounted it.

- [gasps and laughs]

Jordan, that's wild.

You are a wild person.

- I killed a wolverine, too, with a hatchet.

- What? - [laughs]

Uh-huh. - You, like, threw it at it?

- It's all on video.

- Oh, my God. - My floor's got moose on it.

Look at these. - Do I have room?

We could. - Yeah, bring the kids.

I can't believe it. That's so weird.

That is...I did not expect-- Ahh!

[laughter]

- [muffled exclamation]

♪

- Winning is a life-changing experience

for obvious reasons.

It means that I have freedom financially.

This is enough of a boost to help me move

in a whole different direction.

One that's more positive and fulfilling.

I value my family.

This experience gives me opportunity

to be a better father.

It's very important for me

to stay connected to my time in the Arctic.

I'll always miss it. It's, like, a part of me.

♪

In the modern world we're so distracted.

You don't ever have to really think deeply

but being out here,

you're just so connected to real life.

You can delve into your soul.

It just makes you feel alive.

And I think if I could have that in the modern world,

that would be really positive.

It just feels like a more real way of life.

It's much simpler.

It's just how we're meant to be.

♪

[tense music]