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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:22,478 ♪ Here we sit ♪ 2 00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:23,975 ♪ And we chatter ♪ 3 00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:27,980 ♪ What are we thinking of ♪ 4 00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:30,027 ♪ Let's not make ♪ 5 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,775 ♪ With the patter ♪ 6 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,697 ♪ Baby ♪ 7 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:38,491 ♪ Let's make Io ve ♪ 8 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:45,122 ♪ If you roar like a lion ♪ 9 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:49,001 ♪ I could coo like a dove ♪ 10 00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:52,960 ♪ If you're sold, begin buyin' ♪ 11 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,636 ♪ Baby ♪ 12 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,765 ♪ Let's make Io ve ♪ 13 00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:03,724 ♪ No, don't turn TV ♪ 14 00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:04,850 ♪ On ♪ 15 00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:07,603 ♪ Instead just turn me ♪ 16 00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:08,683 ♪ On ♪ 17 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:12,862 ♪ I light up like neon ♪ 18 00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:15,782 ♪ Just a tiny section of your affection ♪ 19 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,984 ♪ In my direction will do ♪ 20 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,694 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh... You'll ♪ 21 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:22,747 ♪ Just love my embraces ♪ 22 00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:26,702 ♪ 'Cause they'll fit like a glove ♪ 23 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:33,463 ♪ We'll be off to the races maybe ♪ 24 00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:36,841 ♪ Kiss me, baby ♪ 25 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,633 ♪ Let's make love ♪♪ 26 00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:43,764 Don't just lay there. 27 00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:45,811 Honey, do something. 28 00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:53,236 One of the great fortunes of the world began here... 29 00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:57,316 on the outskirts of Tours in 17th-century France. 30 00:01:57,409 --> 00:02:01,323 Jean-Marc Clement was a farmer, but not a verygood one. 31 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:04,997 Contemporaries state that with fertile land and plenty of water, 32 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:08,417 he couldn't grow mud, but he didn't have to. 33 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:11,587 While hoeing for potatoes, he found a chest of gold. 34 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:15,758 This is thought to be the origin of the phrase, "Lots of potatoes." 35 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:19,463 From then on, Jean-Marc farmed money. 36 00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:22,264 In Paris, the second Jean-Marc was the kind of man... 37 00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:25,059 who could form a syndicate in an empty room. 38 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,432 Balloons were the rage of France. 39 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:31,186 Jean-Marc bought a balloon factory and prospered. 40 00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:33,768 He was a completely dedicated man, 41 00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:37,481 interested in balloons of every kind. 42 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:40,032 He died in 1777, 43 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:42,986 leaving well over 300, 000 francs. 44 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:47,199 The cause of death was listed as "excessive interest in balloons." 45 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:51,787 The third Jean-Marc Clement just happened to own a cannon factory. 46 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,372 He supplied munitions for the French army. 47 00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:58,301 He was so fair-minded, people say he supplied the enemy also. 48 00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:00,344 His interests grew and grew... 49 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:03,468 until the day the munitions factory blew up. 50 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:07,848 Unfortunately, it was one of the few mornings Jean-Marc reported to work. 51 00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:11,898 He left millions, and was the first Clement to die vertically. 52 00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:16,148 The fourth Clement carried on the basic traditions of the family, 53 00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:18,446 which is to say a prudent marriage... 54 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,821 plus the lively interest in balloons. 55 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:24,197 This lively interest led to a duel. 56 00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:26,995 The result was officially listed as a tie. 57 00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:32,043 But Jean-Marc took a short sabbatical in New York. 58 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:35,839 While there, he picked up 800 acres of property. 59 00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:39,258 It was in the low-rent district, then known as Wall Street. 60 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:42,678 He returned to the gay life of Paris and threw his life away. 61 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:47,930 His indiscretions with rich widows brought in less than a million francs a year. 62 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,386 The fifth Clement was a man who went first class. 63 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,767 He liked railroads... 64 00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:55,771 by 1855, he owned 43 of them... 65 00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:57,978 and steamships. 66 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,814 He owned a total of 19 different lines. 67 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,365 His dash forpower ended the next year... 68 00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:07,321 when negotiations for the purchase of the Atlantic Ocean broke down. 69 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:10,202 The sixth Clement was pure patriot. 70 00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:12,375 He pioneered the Statue of Liberty... 71 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:16,455 and talked a Mr. Eiffel into building some sort of sightseeing tower. 72 00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:19,416 At the time, Jean-Marc controlled all the steel in France. 73 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:23,002 He died in 1890, leaving 400 millions. 74 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,258 His son immediately set out to make money. 75 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:28,716 He ran across a man who had some old blueprints in the attic. 76 00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:33,054 The basic patent rights on this notion brought a good, steady income, 77 00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:36,858 more than enough to cover his losses on horses and women, 78 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:40,687 most of whom were quartered on a yacht called The Harem. 79 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:45,572 And, of course, there was the old family devotion to sightseeing towers. 80 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:49,028 Jean-Marc put up 700 of them near Waco, Texas. 81 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,830 He died mysteriously at the age of 91... 82 00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:54,910 aboard a yacht, Harem III. 83 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:57,120 After the usual deductions were made, 84 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,752 he left a fortune estimated on the foreign exchange mart... 85 00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:03,835 as one billion dollars. 86 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:07,718 As a guide to those in the audience who may not have a billion dollars, 87 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:12,018 let it be stated that the interest on the interest on a billion dollars... 88 00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:15,938 is $70, 000 a week. 89 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:20,439 This is the New York office of the worldwide Clement Enterprises. 90 00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:26,025 The current Jean-Marc Clement seems to embody all the traits of his forebears... 91 00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:28,700 good traits and, cynics point out, 92 00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:31,495 perhaps a few bad ones. 93 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,626 I also like the one I heard in Paris yesterday... 94 00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:40,705 about a man who taught his dog to play poker. 95 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:43,007 But the poor dog was a terrible gambler, 96 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:46,086 because every time he got a good hand, 97 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,466 he'd wag his tail. 98 00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:50,469 - That's funny. - That's marvelous. 99 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,429 - Good-bye. - Bye. 100 00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:03,310 Great storyteller. 101 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:06,819 - And the way he tells a story... - Certainly not dull. 102 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,820 I agree with you. 103 00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:12,620 Hi. I'm Coffman from Public Relations downstairs. 104 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,289 Oh, yes. The gentlemen with the emergency. 105 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,367 Mr. Wales expects you. 106 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,122 Thank you. 107 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,057 What emergency concerns Mr. Clement? 108 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:40,936 It's this item in the newspaper, sir. I thought you might like to see this. 109 00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:43,643 I read no item in this morning's newspaper concerning Mr. Clement. 110 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,694 This isn't a regular newspaper, Mr. Wales. 111 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,397 This is Variety, the theatrical paper. 112 00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:51,529 How could anything theatrical concern Mr. Clement? 113 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,782 Would you read that, please, sir? 114 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,919 - Come with me. - Right. 115 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,180 Good morning, George. Feast your eyes. 116 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,557 What, more? How much? 117 00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:22,732 - You don't measure art by money. - I do. 118 00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:24,809 Good heavens. This is the Meister collection... 119 00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,895 that the Louvre and the National Gallery were bidding for. 120 00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:30,572 - You outbid two governments? - Oh, it was a pleasure. 121 00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,572 The Renoir, I will hang in the Paris apartment. 122 00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:37,372 The Matisse, I think in the Hong Kong office. 123 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,494 And the van Gogh... 124 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:42,952 Oh, I think it will be perfect on the yacht. 125 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:44,457 - How do you do? - I beg your pardon. 126 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:45,958 This is Alexander Hoffman. 127 00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:48,291 Coffman. Public Relations. Ours. 128 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,546 How do you do, sir? 129 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,093 Jean-Marc. 130 00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:54,881 - It's something serious. - Hmm. 131 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,261 I can tell by the breathing. 132 00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:59,594 Somebody's putting on a show, and you're going to be portrayed in it. 133 00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:02,021 Really? I couldn't be more flattered. 134 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:03,097 Listen to this. 135 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:07,276 "Greenwich Village Revue to Caricature Celebrities in the Theateround. 136 00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:10,355 Some of the public figures up for laughs are Maria Callas, 137 00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:15,159 Elvis Presley, Van Cliburn and Jean-Marc Clement, amongst others." 138 00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,986 You're going to be made ridiculous. 139 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,446 Oh! 140 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:20,532 Do you mind if Coffman leaves us for a moment? 141 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:21,911 Of course not, George. 142 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,118 Yes. Coffman. 143 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:26,295 No, no, no. You'd better go in there. Thanks. 144 00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:29,795 I've known for a long time that something like this is bound to happen. 145 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:33,298 All those women you take out in public, this is the result. 146 00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,926 I'm not anxious to take them out in public, George. 147 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,973 They won't stay indoors. 148 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:43,100 Jean-Marc, your father's no longer here to uphold the dignity of your name. 149 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,681 Now then, I've put on this young man... 150 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:49,109 to do nothing but keep your name out of the newspapers. 151 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,936 I want you to take him seriously. 152 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,114 I want you to start at once. 153 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:56,738 Very well, George. And try not to worry so much about me. 154 00:08:56,828 --> 00:09:00,447 Oh, I've been worrying about you since your christening at Notre Dame. 155 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,078 I wouldn't mind a little change at all. 156 00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,534 - Coffman! - Yes, sir? 157 00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:07,119 What are you being paid for? You call this good public relations? 158 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,546 - No, sir, I do not. - Well, I want it stopped, you understand? 159 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,373 It's an invasion of privacy. 160 00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:13,801 If you can't stop it, I will. 161 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,799 Is that correct, Jean-Marc? 162 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,551 - Absolutely. - Thank you. 163 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,051 Run along. 164 00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,301 - Good-bye, sir. - Good-bye, Coffman. 165 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,512 I'll get on this right away. 166 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:27,144 "By reason that they should dissolve their partnership... 167 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,940 and to maintain the..." 168 00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:31,314 You may use the private elevator. 169 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,861 "By arrangement they have con..." 170 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,609 There. There. 171 00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:37,737 "Now, therefore, it is agreed to end this legally by the two parties"... 172 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,045 - Mr. Coffman? - Yes. 173 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:57,469 You'll please return to Mr. Clement's office. 174 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,931 Yes, sir? 175 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,102 Beautiful, isn't it? 176 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,563 Oh, yes. Mm-hmm. Very. 177 00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,615 Coffman, I'm not especially thin-skinned... 178 00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:21,990 about some jokes that might be made about me on the stage. 179 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:27,200 But if it's too embarrassing about girls, that can be serious. 180 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,285 Sit down. 181 00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:34,248 Will it help if I got the show closed up? 182 00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:38,882 Well, sir, then you run the danger of getting more bad publicity... 183 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,555 if you do something like that. 184 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,724 Yes, that's possible. 185 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,893 It's a very small theater, isn't it? 186 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,892 Not many people would really see an off-Broadway show. 187 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,314 Well, if they're successful, 188 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:54,269 people like Ed Sullivan often use parts of them on television. 189 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:59,153 Life, Look, Paris Match even, might pick it up. 190 00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:01,700 Especially since they're using your name. 191 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,743 Mm-hmm. 192 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,117 I may be more thin-skinned than I suspect. 193 00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:08,199 I don't seem to relish being laughed at. 194 00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:10,834 Um... 195 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,663 Go on. You've thought of something. Say it. 196 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,749 Well, I don't know if you... if you'd care for this, 197 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:21,258 but, um, would you consider attending a rehearsal of the show, sir? 198 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,259 Why? What would that accomplish? 199 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:26,683 It would take the sting out of anything they're doing. It would be disarming. 200 00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:30,137 If you show them that you have a sense of humor and that you can laugh at yourself, 201 00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:33,065 then all the rest of the laughter is good-natured. 202 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:35,143 That's my opinion. 203 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,319 Would they think it odd for me to attend a rehearsal? 204 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:38,987 It's perfectly natural. 205 00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:41,110 You've read that you're being depicted in the show, 206 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:44,160 and you've come down to see what you're like. 207 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:46,157 They'd only be flattered. 208 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:49,411 I've been a press agent in the theater, Mr. Clement. I know I'm right. 209 00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:54,002 Let's go. 210 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,499 Now? 211 00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:57,001 They're rehearsing, aren't they? 212 00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,548 Yes, sir. 213 00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:02,424 Time is money, and I don't like to waste either. 214 00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:04,797 Hmm? 215 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:07,842 Come on. 216 00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,880 - Is this a theater? - Theater-in-the-round, sir. 217 00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:39,377 It's very informal. 218 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:40,958 Excuse me. 219 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,878 This is the stage door. 220 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,989 Joe, these light cues are sure tricky. 221 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:06,317 We gotta hit 'em just right. 222 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,620 Hit the blue. 223 00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:36,722 Boys! 224 00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:55,575 My name is... Lolita. 225 00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,960 And, uh, 226 00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:01,039 I'm not supposed to... 227 00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:04,670 play... 228 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,170 with boys. 229 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:15,348 Moi! 230 00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:16,929 Uh-uh! 231 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,398 Mon coeur est à Papa. 232 00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:24,102 You know. 233 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,063 Le propriétaire. 234 00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:46,083 No! 235 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:52,514 ♪ While tearing off ♪ 236 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,717 ♪ A game of golf ♪ 237 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:59,272 ♪ I may make a play for the caddie ♪ 238 00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:01,815 ♪ But when I do ♪ 239 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,767 ♪ I don't follow through ♪ 240 00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:05,523 ♪ 'Cause my heart ♪ 241 00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,855 ♪ Belongs to Daddy ♪ 242 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,192 ♪ If I invite ♪ 243 00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,777 ♪ A boy some night ♪ 244 00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:18,536 ♪ To dine on my fine finnan haddie ♪ 245 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,993 ♪ I just adore ♪ 246 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,794 ♪ His asking for more ♪ 247 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:23,961 ♪ But ♪ 248 00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:27,462 ♪ My heart belongs to Daddy ♪ 249 00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:32,422 ♪ Yes, my heart belongs to Daddy ♪ 250 00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:34,757 ♪ So I simply ♪ 251 00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:36,934 ♪ Couldn't be bad ♪ 252 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:42,139 ♪ Yes, my heart belongs to Daddy ♪ 253 00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:46,728 ♪ Da, da, da, da da, da, da, da ♪ 254 00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:51,691 ♪ So I want to warn you, laddie ♪ 255 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:56,575 ♪ Though I know that you're perfectly swell ♪ 256 00:15:56,664 --> 00:16:01,329 ♪ That my heart belongs to Daddy ♪ 257 00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:04,666 ♪ 'Cause my Daddy ♪ 258 00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:09,591 ♪ He treats it ♪ 259 00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,503 ♪ So ♪ 260 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,372 ♪ While tearing off ♪ 261 00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:43,121 ♪ A game of golf ♪ 262 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:46,579 ♪ I may make a play for the caddie ♪ 263 00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,709 ♪ But when I do ♪ 264 00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:50,756 ♪ I don't follow through ♪ 265 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,469 ♪ Ooh, Daddy ♪ 266 00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:58,094 ♪ If I invite a boy some night ♪ 267 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:01,473 ♪ To cook up a fine enchilada ♪ 268 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:05,647 ♪ Though Spanish rice is all very nice ♪ 269 00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:08,646 ♪ Ba-da, ba-da, ba-da ba-da, ba-da, da-da ♪ 270 00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:09,817 Yes! 271 00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:12,897 ♪ My heart belongs to my daddy ♪ 272 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,777 ♪ So I simply ♪ 273 00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,155 ♪ Couldn't be bad ♪ 274 00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:22,081 ♪ Yes, my heart belongs to my daddy ♪ 275 00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:25,000 ♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da da, da, da ♪ 276 00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:30,669 ♪ So I want to warn you, laddie ♪ 277 00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:34,718 ♪ Though I know you're perfectly swell ♪ 278 00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:39,299 ♪ That my heart belongs to my daddy ♪ 279 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,975 ♪ 'Cause Daddy ♪ 280 00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:45,596 ♪ My daddy ♪ 281 00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:48,648 ♪ My little old daddy ♪ 282 00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:51,147 ♪ He treats it so ♪ 283 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:06,033 ♪ That little old man He just treats it so good ♪♪ 284 00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:21,715 Lights! All right, kids! 285 00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:24,597 All right, kids, up you get! Terrific! Really good. 286 00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:26,474 Up you get! 287 00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:35,146 All you people trying out as doubles, on stage. 288 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,447 Elvis Presleys, Van Cliburns, 289 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:40,742 Maria Callases, Jean-Marc Clements, step up. 290 00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,569 Maria Callases, over here. 291 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:46,623 Jean-Marc Clements, Elvis Presleys... 292 00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:48,701 Coffman. 293 00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,706 Yes, sir? 294 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:52,788 Ask her to dinner. 295 00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:54,339 Dinner? 296 00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:56,917 Bring her to my place, 8:00. 297 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,932 You're trying out for Clement, aren't you? 298 00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:06,135 Hey, that's very good. Just what you're doing. 299 00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:08,971 - That's just his stupid look. - Say, now. Now, now... 300 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:11,148 You don't look like anybody. You might as well go home. 301 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:14,817 Come on onstage, fella. You got something. 302 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,941 Come on, Presleys. How about it? Let's go. 303 00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:20,900 Sort of form groups in three. And you girls... Maria Callases. Yeah. 304 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,076 - Hey, Coffman. - Hello. 305 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,279 - Miller. - Yeah. What are you doing down here? 306 00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:27,956 You Broadway big shots aren't allowed below 14th Street. 307 00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:29,499 I'm not on Broadway anymore. 308 00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:31,497 I moved into, um, 309 00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:34,455 industrial public relations. 310 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:37,586 Clements, please. You guys all get together. 311 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,794 That's it. Move in. 312 00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:42,425 All right. Yeah. Uh-huh. 313 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,131 Now Presleys. Hit it, Elvis. 314 00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:47,468 ♪ Well, keep on rock and roll, Mama We're rockin' all the time ♪ 315 00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:49,268 - ♪ She can be... ♪ - Thank you. 316 00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:51,472 - ♪ See that chick with the red dress on ♪ - Thank you. 317 00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:54,774 ♪ Well, I love her eyes I love her lips ♪ 318 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,477 ♪ They taste even better than potato chips ♪ 319 00:19:57,571 --> 00:19:58,778 ♪ Ooh-wee, baby ♪ 320 00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,653 That's enough. 321 00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:05,110 Excuse me. I am Jean-Marc Clement. 322 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,696 - I wonder if I... - Say something else. 323 00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,326 Go ahead. 324 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,283 I beg your pardon, sir. I'm afraid you are mis... 325 00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:12,493 Listen to him. 326 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:13,872 It's amazing. 327 00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:17,297 I saw Clement in a newsreel. Hey, you really got him down. 328 00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:19,921 Come over here. I want to see something. 329 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:22,969 I want you to stand next to this man here. 330 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,638 That's it. No, you go in the middle. 331 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:29,264 Like... Like that. That's right. That's not bad, hey? 332 00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:31,345 No doubt about it. 333 00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:32,930 Okay. Take him, Kerry. 334 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:35,231 You in the middle, don't go away. You two, dismissed. 335 00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,650 Now I want to see the Van Cliburns. 336 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:49,579 You're really French, aren't you? 337 00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,122 Yes. 338 00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:55,460 Very much so. 339 00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:59,714 - Been here long? - I go back and forth. 340 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,133 My family is rather transatlantic. 341 00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:04,506 That's good for the part. 342 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:07,465 Hey, they're really gonna make an idiot out of him. 343 00:21:07,558 --> 00:21:09,470 - Who? - Clement. 344 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,519 I can't get over the resemblance. 345 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,767 Oh, you're much nicer, of course. 346 00:21:14,857 --> 00:21:15,973 Thank you. 347 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:18,023 Why do you think so? 348 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,067 Well, all you ever see him doing... 349 00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:23,818 is getting in and out of sports cars, some girl suing him again. 350 00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:25,240 You don't like that. 351 00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:26,407 Well, it's all right, 352 00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:29,237 but think of what he could do in this world with all that money. 353 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:31,447 Oh, I wish I was taking French... 354 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,532 now that you're going to be with the company. 355 00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,037 I could practice on you. 356 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,368 Oh, you're a college girl? 357 00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:37,748 No. Night school. 358 00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:39,795 I'm getting my high school diploma. 359 00:21:39,882 --> 00:21:42,374 What do you want to do that for? 360 00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:45,677 I got tired of being ignorant. I never knew what people were referring to. 361 00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:50,053 I suppose you want to play Shakespeare and Greek tragedy and... 362 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:54,011 Oh, no. This is my favorite kind of show. 363 00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:56,596 Um, have you been out of work long? 364 00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:59,182 Out of... No, I'm... 365 00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:00,812 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get personal. 366 00:22:00,903 --> 00:22:02,769 But I noticed how you acted before, 367 00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:05,025 pretending you didn't want the job. 368 00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:07,949 I figured you were pretty desperate. 369 00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:09,947 You are very observant. 370 00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:11,699 I am, uh... 371 00:22:14,416 --> 00:22:15,657 What are you knitting? 372 00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:17,287 I haven't decided yet. 373 00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:19,290 It keeps my hands busy. 374 00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:22,998 Hey, fella. I have to have your Equity card. 375 00:22:23,092 --> 00:22:24,424 My what? 376 00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:26,217 Oh, you don't have to join Actors' Equity. 377 00:22:26,303 --> 00:22:27,919 They could list you as a nonprofessional. 378 00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:30,471 - Fine. - Why don't you do that, Jimmy? 379 00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:32,595 All right, what's your name? 380 00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,722 My name is Jean... 381 00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:42,938 Oddly enough, my name often startles people. 382 00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:44,610 Why? What is it? 383 00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:53,782 Alexander. 384 00:22:54,999 --> 00:22:57,082 Not Alexander Dumas. 385 00:22:57,167 --> 00:22:58,328 You know Alexander Dumas? 386 00:22:58,419 --> 00:22:59,580 We had him last term. 387 00:22:59,670 --> 00:23:01,127 He wrote The Three Musketeers. 388 00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:02,294 It's a lovely name. 389 00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:03,997 It happens to be my name. 390 00:23:04,091 --> 00:23:06,003 Okay, Al. 391 00:23:06,927 --> 00:23:08,919 Alexander Dumas? 392 00:23:10,264 --> 00:23:11,721 What a small world. 393 00:23:11,807 --> 00:23:14,424 Oh, it's a very common name in France. 394 00:23:15,978 --> 00:23:19,187 I hope you'll help me. I've never been on a stage before. 395 00:23:19,273 --> 00:23:22,311 I knew. You can always tell an outsider. 396 00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:23,642 How? 397 00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:26,854 Mostly the way they look at girls in rehearsal clothes. 398 00:23:27,865 --> 00:23:29,777 How do people in show business look? 399 00:23:29,867 --> 00:23:32,484 They don't. A girl can walk around backstage... 400 00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:34,535 with nothing on except her goodwill, 401 00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:36,534 and nobody will even turn his head. 402 00:23:36,624 --> 00:23:40,584 The same girl, fully dressed, walks down an aisle of clerks in an office, 403 00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:42,786 pinched black and blue. 404 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,213 What's the matter with you people anyway? 405 00:23:45,299 --> 00:23:48,758 I think we are normal. You're the ones in trouble. 406 00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:52,383 I could give you a tip on how to play Clement if you're interested. 407 00:23:52,473 --> 00:23:53,964 Oh, yes. I'm here to learn. 408 00:23:54,058 --> 00:23:56,095 Try acting with more assurance. 409 00:23:56,185 --> 00:23:58,427 By that I mean, he doesn't have your sensitivity. 410 00:24:00,064 --> 00:24:01,555 Really? 411 00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:04,608 But I've always felt that Clement is a rather sensitive man. 412 00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:06,104 Of course I don't really know, but... 413 00:24:06,195 --> 00:24:08,778 Oh, no. I've met those types. 414 00:24:08,864 --> 00:24:11,527 You got to be a lot cruder, you know? 415 00:24:11,617 --> 00:24:14,610 I never heard anybody call Jean-Marc Clement crude. 416 00:24:14,703 --> 00:24:17,411 For instance, a man like you... 417 00:24:17,498 --> 00:24:21,458 You come over to me. You're unsure of yourself, yes? 418 00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:23,910 - Well, yes, I suppose... - I mean, it's normal. 419 00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:25,916 I'm a girl. You wonder whether I like you. 420 00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:29,420 You're a little uncertain. You even look a little nervous. 421 00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:31,593 I wouldn't say I was nervous. 422 00:24:31,679 --> 00:24:34,422 That's okay. I kind of like that in a man. 423 00:24:34,515 --> 00:24:36,973 But when Jean-Marc Clement comes up to a girl, 424 00:24:37,059 --> 00:24:40,803 as soon as he tells her his name, he expects her to drop dead with the honor. 425 00:24:42,231 --> 00:24:44,393 Well, they do. I mean, I imagine that, uh... 426 00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:45,644 Sure, but why? 427 00:24:45,734 --> 00:24:47,817 Money. Right? 428 00:24:49,279 --> 00:24:52,443 I don't know. I imagine women would find him rather charming. 429 00:24:52,533 --> 00:24:56,994 Charming. He drops them after two dates, has five others the same week. 430 00:24:57,079 --> 00:25:01,289 Boy, you haven't had much experience with women, have you? 431 00:25:01,375 --> 00:25:03,537 Well, I like to think I have, but... 432 00:25:03,627 --> 00:25:06,711 If you want to be this kind of person you characterize... 433 00:25:06,797 --> 00:25:10,131 Clement is nothing but a rich louse. Now, keep that in mind. 434 00:25:10,217 --> 00:25:13,335 When you get up on the stage, first relax... 435 00:25:13,429 --> 00:25:16,638 and keep telling yourself, "I'm a louse. 436 00:25:16,724 --> 00:25:21,014 I'm a louse. I'm a louse." Try. 437 00:25:24,273 --> 00:25:26,390 I'm... 438 00:25:26,483 --> 00:25:28,850 I think you're making a big mistake, young lady. 439 00:25:28,944 --> 00:25:30,856 That's it. That's very good. 440 00:25:30,946 --> 00:25:31,936 What's very good? 441 00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:33,943 The way you looked down with "young lady." 442 00:25:34,033 --> 00:25:35,945 You looked like you had $50 million. 443 00:25:36,035 --> 00:25:37,571 I did? 444 00:25:37,661 --> 00:25:39,493 For a second, you looked like a spoiled brat. 445 00:25:39,580 --> 00:25:42,038 I'm glad to hear you say that. 446 00:25:42,124 --> 00:25:44,241 How about having dinner with me? 447 00:25:44,334 --> 00:25:47,168 You are teaching me so much. I'd like to learn more. 448 00:25:47,254 --> 00:25:50,213 - Can't. I only have time for a bite tonight. -00. 449 00:25:50,299 --> 00:25:54,794 ♪ Oh, give me a home ♪ 450 00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:56,844 - Don't tell me he's drunk. - If he is, he's fired. 451 00:25:56,930 --> 00:25:58,546 ♪ Roam ♪♪ 452 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,472 Hello, sweetheart. 453 00:26:04,063 --> 00:26:05,929 Tony Danton. 454 00:26:06,023 --> 00:26:08,060 That's the kiddie. 455 00:26:08,150 --> 00:26:10,016 Tony Danton. 456 00:26:12,112 --> 00:26:14,069 Tony! 457 00:26:15,032 --> 00:26:17,024 Tony? Are you all right? 458 00:26:19,953 --> 00:26:23,697 ♪ Love is a many splintered thing ♪ 459 00:26:23,791 --> 00:26:25,373 You meshuggener! 460 00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:26,495 I'm sorry, Mandy. 461 00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:27,746 I was just putting you on. 462 00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:32,005 Very funny. I just aged 10 years. 463 00:26:32,091 --> 00:26:35,334 Well, that's as funny as I can get cold sober. 464 00:26:35,427 --> 00:26:37,384 Have you got some sort of a parody? 465 00:26:37,471 --> 00:26:39,713 We need a short one to cover a costume change. 466 00:26:39,807 --> 00:26:41,799 One of the songwriters at Lindy's knocked out a good one. 467 00:26:41,892 --> 00:26:43,349 Okay, let's hear it. 468 00:26:46,188 --> 00:26:49,306 Well, this is the "Lament of the... 469 00:26:49,399 --> 00:26:51,311 Pop Singer." 470 00:26:51,401 --> 00:26:53,734 ♪ Records with gimmicks ♪ 471 00:26:53,821 --> 00:26:57,235 ♪ Chipmunks and mimics ♪ 472 00:26:57,324 --> 00:27:00,943 ♪ That's what the future spells ♪ 473 00:27:01,036 --> 00:27:05,076 ♪ I said to my bosses Look at my losses ♪ 474 00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:08,033 ♪ Give me a song that sells ♪ 475 00:27:08,127 --> 00:27:09,993 ♪ Music is dyin' ♪ 476 00:27:10,087 --> 00:27:11,828 ♪ Nobody's buyin' ♪ 477 00:27:11,922 --> 00:27:15,211 ♪ Mule trains or Jezebels ♪ 478 00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:19,294 ♪ So how can a fella sing "Dardanella" ♪ 479 00:27:19,388 --> 00:27:22,381 ♪ Give me a song that sells ♪ 480 00:27:22,474 --> 00:27:25,387 ♪ Aw, come on Stop hiding that tune ♪ 481 00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:29,016 ♪ Don't save all those hits for Pat Boone ♪ 482 00:27:29,106 --> 00:27:32,474 ♪ Yeah, gimme Gimme, gimme, gimme ♪ 483 00:27:32,568 --> 00:27:36,278 ♪ A song that sells ♪ 484 00:27:36,363 --> 00:27:38,446 ♪ I've got a father to support ♪ 485 00:27:38,532 --> 00:27:40,273 ♪ A mother to support ♪ 486 00:27:40,367 --> 00:27:44,236 ♪ A lazy, loafin' good-for-nothin' brother to support ♪ 487 00:27:44,329 --> 00:27:47,447 ♪ Yeah, gimme Gimme, gimme, gimme ♪ 488 00:27:47,541 --> 00:27:53,833 ♪ A song that sells ♪♪ 489 00:28:01,722 --> 00:28:03,964 That's-a funny, but how much does the writer want for it? 490 00:28:04,057 --> 00:28:05,047 Seventy-five dollars. 491 00:28:05,142 --> 00:28:06,758 Well, try and pay less. We'll take it. 492 00:28:06,852 --> 00:28:10,562 Kids, if you come across any other parodies, jokes or bits, bring 'em around. 493 00:28:10,647 --> 00:28:12,559 We can use three or four between the scene changes. 494 00:28:12,649 --> 00:28:16,233 Okay, kids, that's all today. Tomorrow morning, 11:00, on time. 495 00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:19,361 Excuse me. 496 00:28:21,617 --> 00:28:24,280 I have a rather amusing story you may like. 497 00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:26,361 Let's hear it. 498 00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:32,121 It's, uh, about a man who taught his dog to play poker. 499 00:28:33,629 --> 00:28:36,497 But the poor dog was a terrible gambler, 500 00:28:36,590 --> 00:28:42,177 because every time he got a good hand... 501 00:28:42,262 --> 00:28:44,629 - He'd wag his tail! - He'd wag his tail. 502 00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:47,511 Don't let that discourage you, kids. New jokes. 503 00:28:47,601 --> 00:28:50,514 - Tomorrow morning, 11:00, on time. - Kill the work lights. 504 00:28:50,604 --> 00:28:51,970 New jokes! 505 00:28:52,064 --> 00:28:55,774 See you tomorrow. Rehearsal at 11:00 sharp. 506 00:28:59,613 --> 00:29:02,151 They do that to everyone when they know the joke. 507 00:29:02,241 --> 00:29:03,777 - Don't be discouraged. - Mandy! 508 00:29:03,867 --> 00:29:05,529 - Thank you. - Coming? 509 00:29:05,619 --> 00:29:07,827 Coming. 510 00:29:07,913 --> 00:29:10,246 I'll take that. Okay. 511 00:29:11,208 --> 00:29:13,291 - You got everything? - Yeah. 512 00:29:35,983 --> 00:29:38,817 How would they all have known that joke? 513 00:29:38,902 --> 00:29:42,316 People in show business know the popular jokes, Mr. Clement. 514 00:29:42,406 --> 00:29:44,648 That's why they buy new ones. 515 00:29:53,542 --> 00:29:56,831 I got the girl's telephone number from the stage manager. 516 00:29:59,047 --> 00:30:00,959 Sir? 517 00:30:01,049 --> 00:30:03,416 I'll try to have her at your place by 8:00. 518 00:30:03,510 --> 00:30:05,422 - Hmm? - I'll try to have the girl... 519 00:30:05,512 --> 00:30:07,970 No, no. She's got geography. 520 00:30:08,056 --> 00:30:11,015 Oh, yes. Oh, yes. 521 00:30:11,101 --> 00:30:14,936 How many hours a day do these rehearsals usually go on? 522 00:30:15,022 --> 00:30:17,935 All day long, sir. All night too sometimes. 523 00:30:18,025 --> 00:30:20,267 Well, when do they have time for, uh... 524 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,602 They make time. No, thank you, sir. 525 00:30:22,696 --> 00:30:24,608 Of course there's always Sunday. 526 00:30:24,698 --> 00:30:27,315 Sunday? This is only Tuesday. 527 00:30:27,409 --> 00:30:29,401 Well, perhaps she'd be willing to skip a class... 528 00:30:29,494 --> 00:30:32,578 if I told her that you were Jean-Marc Clement, sir. 529 00:30:32,664 --> 00:30:35,031 I'm not so sure. 530 00:30:35,125 --> 00:30:37,742 She doesn't think very highly of Jean-Marc Clement. 531 00:30:37,836 --> 00:30:40,795 I never ran into that before. 532 00:30:40,881 --> 00:30:42,417 Odd. 533 00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:47,256 I want you to buy me a joke. 534 00:30:47,346 --> 00:30:48,382 Beg your pardon, sir? 535 00:30:48,472 --> 00:30:52,682 I want an original joke, something superb. 536 00:30:52,768 --> 00:30:57,138 Well, I do know one very good comedy writer, Charlie Lamont. 537 00:30:57,230 --> 00:30:59,517 - He's rather expensive. - Good. 538 00:30:59,608 --> 00:31:01,691 Go to the Investors National Bank. 539 00:31:01,777 --> 00:31:04,611 They'll give you a thousand dollars. 540 00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:07,814 Be at my office tomorrow morning with a new joke. 541 00:31:07,908 --> 00:31:10,491 And be sure it's brand-new. 542 00:31:10,577 --> 00:31:12,534 I never buy anything used. 543 00:31:12,621 --> 00:31:14,783 Excuse me, sir. Just so I'll know. 544 00:31:14,873 --> 00:31:17,490 Are you thinking of joining the cast of this show? 545 00:31:17,584 --> 00:31:20,497 Oh, for a few hours, perhaps. 546 00:31:20,587 --> 00:31:22,624 There is no other way. 547 00:31:22,714 --> 00:31:24,831 I certainly couldn't wait till Sunday. 548 00:31:31,014 --> 00:31:33,552 Are you sure you can think in here, Mr. Lamont? 549 00:31:33,642 --> 00:31:36,100 For a thousand bucks, I can think in a coal mine. 550 00:31:36,186 --> 00:31:39,520 I do my best work here. At home, I got five kids. 551 00:31:39,606 --> 00:31:41,848 What's the situation, and who is the guy? 552 00:31:41,942 --> 00:31:44,685 A big dress manufacturer. He's going to make a speech in Miami. 553 00:31:44,778 --> 00:31:47,111 It's got to be definitely a new joke. 554 00:31:47,197 --> 00:31:49,689 New is easy. Funny is hard. 555 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:54,281 Could you hurry it up, please? 556 00:31:54,371 --> 00:31:56,829 I don't know if I'll have the strength to deliver it to him. 557 00:31:56,915 --> 00:31:59,123 I'm strictly a ski-and-toboggan man myself. 558 00:31:59,209 --> 00:32:01,121 Now don't go away. I'm the best. 559 00:32:02,295 --> 00:32:05,288 Even the ghostwriters come to me. I ghost for the ghost. 560 00:32:05,382 --> 00:32:06,998 Now, let's see. 561 00:32:12,556 --> 00:32:14,718 Oh, I'm so glad you like it, sir. 562 00:32:14,808 --> 00:32:16,720 Quite funny, yes. 563 00:32:16,810 --> 00:32:18,426 Here is Wilson with his report. 564 00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:20,512 - Good morning, Wilson. - Good morning, sir. 565 00:32:20,605 --> 00:32:22,346 Begin, Wilson. 566 00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:26,060 "Miss Amanda Dell. Dell is her stage name. Family name Delson. 567 00:32:26,153 --> 00:32:28,236 Non-married, American citizen by birth. 568 00:32:28,321 --> 00:32:30,734 She has occasion... 569 00:32:30,824 --> 00:32:32,736 She has occasional escorts, 570 00:32:32,826 --> 00:32:35,284 but is mostly seen with Tony Danton, her costar in her present show." 571 00:32:35,370 --> 00:32:38,579 I never imagined people made up jokes for money. 572 00:32:38,665 --> 00:32:40,622 But I guess they have to come from someplace. 573 00:32:40,709 --> 00:32:44,043 Am I to understand you're buying jokes? 574 00:32:44,129 --> 00:32:46,416 Oh, just one, George, for the rehearsal today. 575 00:32:46,506 --> 00:32:48,748 Proceed, Wilson. 576 00:32:48,842 --> 00:32:50,708 "Miss Dell is meeting another man in private. 577 00:32:50,802 --> 00:32:52,384 He is not Tony Danton." 578 00:32:52,471 --> 00:32:54,087 Oho! What did I tell you? 579 00:32:54,181 --> 00:32:56,594 "He's evidently married and avoiding being seen publicly with her. 580 00:32:56,683 --> 00:32:58,640 Their meeting place is St. Timothy's Church." 581 00:32:58,727 --> 00:32:59,934 Very ingenious. 582 00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:02,307 "Miss Dell enters the church when the service is almost over, 583 00:33:02,397 --> 00:33:04,514 and the two spend a good deal of time together." 584 00:33:04,608 --> 00:33:07,601 This time I smell gunplay. 585 00:33:07,694 --> 00:33:09,185 Good day, Wilson. 586 00:33:09,279 --> 00:33:11,316 Shall we continue to keep her under surveillance? 587 00:33:11,406 --> 00:33:13,398 No. I'll tend to that myself, thank you. 588 00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:14,528 Good day, sir. 589 00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:18,952 Are you feeling well? 590 00:33:19,039 --> 00:33:20,120 I feel fine. 591 00:33:20,207 --> 00:33:23,245 Just lost a little weight getting that joke, that's all. 592 00:33:23,335 --> 00:33:24,325 Good day, sir. 593 00:33:24,419 --> 00:33:25,409 Good day, Coffman. 594 00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:31,465 The mail, Miss Manners, 595 00:33:31,551 --> 00:33:34,510 and cancel all my appointments for... 596 00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:37,839 24 hours. 597 00:33:39,351 --> 00:33:42,515 She's meeting another man secretly. 598 00:33:42,604 --> 00:33:44,766 Jean-Marc, you're walking right into a scandal. 599 00:33:44,856 --> 00:33:48,315 George, you must see her. 600 00:33:48,401 --> 00:33:52,190 She comes down, you see. Absolutely unbelievable. 601 00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,818 Then she comes forward. 602 00:33:54,908 --> 00:33:58,322 What will she do? You don't know. 603 00:33:58,411 --> 00:34:02,325 All of a sudden, "My name is Lolita, 604 00:34:02,415 --> 00:34:06,625 and, uh, I'm not supposed to play with boys." 605 00:34:14,094 --> 00:34:17,428 I'll speak to San Francisco. 606 00:34:17,514 --> 00:34:20,222 Yes to number two. No to number three. 607 00:34:20,308 --> 00:34:22,265 George, will you take care of this London business? 608 00:34:22,352 --> 00:34:23,342 Uh-huh. 609 00:34:23,436 --> 00:34:24,643 Anything else? 610 00:34:24,729 --> 00:34:27,597 - I had Cartier send this around. - Oh, very nice. 611 00:34:27,691 --> 00:34:29,853 For $10,000, it ought to be nice. 612 00:34:29,943 --> 00:34:32,026 Who is it for? Miss Emerson? 613 00:34:32,112 --> 00:34:34,104 You asked me to pick up something for Miss Philips. 614 00:34:34,197 --> 00:34:38,032 Of course. Uh, I'll drop it off myself. 615 00:34:38,118 --> 00:34:40,280 Send flowers and a note to Miss Emerson. 616 00:34:40,370 --> 00:34:42,362 I'll do the mail now. 617 00:34:48,670 --> 00:34:50,536 - Good morning. - Bonjour, monsieur. 618 00:34:50,630 --> 00:34:52,496 To the Cairo office, please. 619 00:34:58,972 --> 00:35:01,385 Please, George. Please. 620 00:35:01,474 --> 00:35:03,386 I hate to see you worry. 621 00:35:03,476 --> 00:35:04,933 I'm much more than worried. 622 00:35:05,020 --> 00:35:06,477 Oh, don't. 623 00:35:06,563 --> 00:35:07,553 To the Paris office. 624 00:35:07,647 --> 00:35:08,637 Oui, monsieur. 625 00:35:15,697 --> 00:35:18,531 Tell Captain Swanson I want the yacht ready. 626 00:35:18,617 --> 00:35:20,700 There will be one guest. 627 00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:24,950 Jean-Marc, I have some important business to see to. 628 00:35:27,667 --> 00:35:29,659 Miss Manners. 629 00:35:29,753 --> 00:35:34,088 Miss Manners, I want you to buy me a pair of old trousers. 630 00:35:34,174 --> 00:35:36,416 Old trousers? 631 00:35:36,509 --> 00:35:38,341 Yes. 632 00:35:38,428 --> 00:35:40,920 - To the Berlin office. - Jawohl, mein herr. 633 00:35:43,767 --> 00:35:46,350 And an old jacket too. And a sweater. 634 00:35:46,436 --> 00:35:48,428 Uh, something an actor might wear. 635 00:35:48,521 --> 00:35:52,606 And tell Captain Swanson to have plenty of paper and pencils on board. 636 00:35:52,692 --> 00:35:55,309 She might want to do some homework. 637 00:36:18,176 --> 00:36:19,792 What do you say, Al? 638 00:36:31,690 --> 00:36:32,897 Hello. 639 00:36:32,982 --> 00:36:34,348 Hi! 640 00:36:36,152 --> 00:36:38,144 Oh, you didn't get any sleep last night. 641 00:36:38,238 --> 00:36:40,821 I couldn't sleep. That new song kept me awake. 642 00:36:40,907 --> 00:36:42,648 - Oh, hi. - Hi. 643 00:36:42,742 --> 00:36:44,449 You look tired. 644 00:36:46,246 --> 00:36:48,238 ♪ Hey, you ♪ 645 00:36:48,331 --> 00:36:50,664 ♪ With the crazy eyes ♪ 646 00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:52,662 ♪ When you turn them on ♪ 647 00:36:52,752 --> 00:36:56,120 ♪ I'm gone right up to the skies ♪ 648 00:36:56,214 --> 00:36:58,831 ♪ Hey, you ♪ 649 00:36:58,925 --> 00:37:01,633 ♪ With the glowing glimmers ♪ 650 00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:04,838 ♪ Do they come with dimmers ♪ 651 00:37:04,931 --> 00:37:06,342 ♪ Tonight ♪ 652 00:37:06,433 --> 00:37:09,801 ♪ They're as bright as lightning, you ♪ 653 00:37:09,894 --> 00:37:12,352 ♪ With the crazy lips ♪ 654 00:37:12,439 --> 00:37:15,182 ♪ When we start to kiss like this ♪ 655 00:37:15,275 --> 00:37:18,188 ♪ My heart simply flips ♪ 656 00:37:18,278 --> 00:37:20,520 ♪ Guess I ♪ 657 00:37:20,613 --> 00:37:23,230 ♪ Might as well propose ♪ 658 00:37:23,324 --> 00:37:28,490 ♪ 'Cause heaven knows I'm in love with those crazy eyes ♪ 659 00:37:29,789 --> 00:37:31,451 ♪ You, you, you ♪ 660 00:37:31,541 --> 00:37:33,828 ♪ With the crazy lips ♪ 661 00:37:33,918 --> 00:37:36,706 ♪ When we start to kiss like this ♪ 662 00:37:36,796 --> 00:37:39,755 ♪ My heart simply flips ♪ 663 00:37:39,841 --> 00:37:42,083 ♪ Guess I ♪ 664 00:37:42,177 --> 00:37:44,840 ♪ Might as well propose ♪ 665 00:37:44,929 --> 00:37:50,470 ♪ 'Cause heaven knows I'm in love with those crazy eyes ♪ 666 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,223 ♪ Knocked-out eyes ♪ 667 00:37:53,313 --> 00:37:56,021 ♪ Kooky eyes ♪ 668 00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:59,726 ♪ Fractured eyes ♪ 669 00:37:59,819 --> 00:38:04,689 ♪ Crazy eyes ♪♪ 670 00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:06,240 Yeah! 671 00:38:06,326 --> 00:38:09,239 Tony, it's marvelous. 672 00:38:09,329 --> 00:38:11,366 You're doing great, Tony. 673 00:38:11,456 --> 00:38:13,038 Okay, let's go. Clear the stage. 674 00:38:16,503 --> 00:38:17,994 How's the geography? 675 00:38:18,087 --> 00:38:20,500 Oh! Heartbreaking. 676 00:38:20,590 --> 00:38:22,923 Did you know there's four million people in Haiti, 677 00:38:23,009 --> 00:38:25,752 and the average wage is $25 a year? 678 00:38:25,845 --> 00:38:29,589 Imagine. I mean, two tens and a five for a whole year. 679 00:38:29,682 --> 00:38:33,096 Oh. You, uh... 680 00:38:33,186 --> 00:38:35,223 You have relatives in Haiti or something? 681 00:38:35,313 --> 00:38:37,930 No. I just found about it, but... 682 00:38:38,024 --> 00:38:41,358 Well... Well, why don't they do something about it? 683 00:38:43,530 --> 00:38:45,738 Why are you smiling? 684 00:38:45,824 --> 00:38:47,986 I just don't know what else to do. 685 00:38:48,076 --> 00:38:50,363 I-I'm smiling because I'm... 686 00:38:51,412 --> 00:38:52,653 Oh. 687 00:38:53,623 --> 00:38:55,956 Four-Square Pawnshop. 688 00:38:56,042 --> 00:38:57,158 Ouch. 689 00:38:57,252 --> 00:38:59,369 Don't be embarrassed. 690 00:38:59,462 --> 00:39:02,079 - Well... - No false pride. Come on now. 691 00:39:02,173 --> 00:39:03,664 Chin up. 692 00:39:04,843 --> 00:39:06,960 Oh, I wonder if you would have a little time... 693 00:39:07,053 --> 00:39:09,636 to give me some acting pointers. 694 00:39:09,722 --> 00:39:12,135 I know you could really help me. 695 00:39:12,225 --> 00:39:14,592 Couldn't we have a little dinner tonight? 696 00:39:14,686 --> 00:39:17,144 Oh, I can't tonight because I've got a history exam tomorrow. 697 00:39:17,230 --> 00:39:20,223 I gotta study. I'm very weak in history. 698 00:39:20,316 --> 00:39:22,899 History happens to be one of my strong points. 699 00:39:22,986 --> 00:39:24,978 I help you with your history, 700 00:39:25,071 --> 00:39:27,233 and you help me with my acting. 701 00:39:27,323 --> 00:39:29,656 But first, we'll have a quiet little dinner and... 702 00:39:29,742 --> 00:39:32,485 New is easy. Funny is hard. But remember, I'm not promising anything. 703 00:39:32,579 --> 00:39:34,366 Golly, Charlie, do me a favor. 704 00:39:34,455 --> 00:39:36,742 The show needs jokes, Charlie. I just want you to listen. 705 00:39:36,833 --> 00:39:38,995 If you think of something good, do me a favor. 706 00:39:39,085 --> 00:39:41,168 The show needs jokes, Charlie. I'd appreciate it. 707 00:39:41,254 --> 00:39:43,997 Like I said, I'll take a look. 708 00:39:44,090 --> 00:39:46,127 All right! Hold it! 709 00:39:46,217 --> 00:39:48,960 Let's take it from the opening for Mr. Lamont. 710 00:39:52,974 --> 00:39:55,842 Mr. Burton. Oh, Mr. Burton. 711 00:39:55,935 --> 00:39:57,847 I'd like to offer another joke. 712 00:39:57,937 --> 00:40:00,429 Well, let it wait until after rehearsal. Mr. Lamont is a busy man. 713 00:40:00,523 --> 00:40:02,731 I promise you never heard this one. 714 00:40:02,817 --> 00:40:04,729 Okay, but make it snappy. 715 00:40:04,819 --> 00:40:06,936 All right, clear the stage. 716 00:40:12,243 --> 00:40:14,451 A man went to a psychiatrist. 717 00:40:14,537 --> 00:40:17,325 Over each ear he had a piece of bacon, 718 00:40:17,415 --> 00:40:21,955 and around his neck, an eight-foot snake for a necktie. 719 00:40:22,045 --> 00:40:26,756 And he had a large television antenna strapped to his head. 720 00:40:26,841 --> 00:40:29,208 "Doctor," he said, 721 00:40:29,302 --> 00:40:31,885 "I want to talk to you about my brother." 722 00:40:31,971 --> 00:40:34,964 Not bad. 723 00:40:35,058 --> 00:40:37,141 - I never heard it. - But I did! 724 00:40:37,226 --> 00:40:39,218 You dirty crook. 725 00:40:39,312 --> 00:40:43,022 Oh, let me get my hands on him. I'll break... 726 00:40:43,107 --> 00:40:44,848 - Mr. Lamont, take it easy. - What's the problem? 727 00:40:44,943 --> 00:40:47,560 That crook stole a joke that I wrote yesterday for $1,000. 728 00:40:47,654 --> 00:40:50,317 - Thousand dollars? - For a dress manufacturer in Miami. 729 00:40:50,406 --> 00:40:52,272 I don't double-cross my clients. 730 00:40:52,367 --> 00:40:55,235 I'm suing you for damaging my professional integrity. 731 00:40:55,328 --> 00:40:57,991 Wait now. We can get to the bottom of this in no time. 732 00:40:58,081 --> 00:40:59,071 Well, you better. 733 00:40:59,165 --> 00:41:00,747 Where did you get the joke? 734 00:41:00,833 --> 00:41:01,914 I bought it. 735 00:41:02,001 --> 00:41:03,333 For how much? 736 00:41:04,587 --> 00:41:06,624 - Ten dollars. - Ten dollars? 737 00:41:07,090 --> 00:41:08,297 From whom? 738 00:41:11,594 --> 00:41:14,758 I'll have to ask you to tell me from whom you bought this joke, 739 00:41:14,847 --> 00:41:16,179 or you're out of this show. 740 00:41:16,265 --> 00:41:19,008 He couldn't have bought it. I just wrote it yesterday in a Turkish bath. 741 00:41:19,102 --> 00:41:20,809 He's a liar. 742 00:41:22,188 --> 00:41:24,805 I wouldn't throw that word "liar" around so easily. 743 00:41:24,899 --> 00:41:26,106 You're a liar. 744 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,728 - He bought the joke. I saw him. - You saw him? 745 00:41:30,822 --> 00:41:33,690 I had dinner at Lindy's last night, 746 00:41:33,783 --> 00:41:35,740 and, uh, he was sitting in the next booth, 747 00:41:35,827 --> 00:41:38,069 and I heard him buy it from a man. 748 00:41:38,162 --> 00:41:40,154 Someone stole it and stuck him. It's happened before. 749 00:41:40,248 --> 00:41:42,410 I promise we won't use it. 750 00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:45,493 I'll say you won't use it. I lost eight pounds on that joke. 751 00:41:45,586 --> 00:41:48,044 Take a break outside, everybody. 752 00:42:11,446 --> 00:42:13,733 I seem to be following you. 753 00:42:14,782 --> 00:42:16,774 Buttermilk, please. 754 00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:18,779 You, Mac? 755 00:42:18,870 --> 00:42:20,361 Coffee. Black. 756 00:42:24,625 --> 00:42:27,959 I want to thank you, Amanda, for doing that for me. 757 00:42:28,046 --> 00:42:30,038 It's all right. It's nothing. 758 00:42:30,131 --> 00:42:32,088 Oh, I think it was a great deal. 759 00:42:32,175 --> 00:42:34,212 Matter of fact, it's the most touching thing... 760 00:42:34,302 --> 00:42:36,259 that's happened to me in a long time. 761 00:42:38,389 --> 00:42:39,675 Why did you do it? 762 00:42:39,766 --> 00:42:41,507 Does there have to be a motive? 763 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,552 I rarely see anything done without a motive. 764 00:42:44,645 --> 00:42:47,183 Almost never, Miss Dell. 765 00:42:47,273 --> 00:42:48,855 Thank you. 766 00:42:48,941 --> 00:42:52,810 I feel sorry for you. You must have had a sad life. 767 00:42:52,904 --> 00:42:56,068 - What do you do ordinarily? - Do? 768 00:42:56,157 --> 00:42:59,525 When you're not imitating Jean-Marc Clement. 769 00:42:59,619 --> 00:43:02,032 You can't make a living doing just that. 770 00:43:02,121 --> 00:43:05,785 I, uh... I represent a French company. 771 00:43:05,875 --> 00:43:07,787 I am a salesman. 772 00:43:07,877 --> 00:43:10,665 I have a sample of my company's product. 773 00:43:12,465 --> 00:43:13,876 Would you care to look at it? 774 00:43:13,966 --> 00:43:16,754 It's very nice. 775 00:43:16,844 --> 00:43:19,461 It's almost impossible to tell from the real thing. 776 00:43:19,555 --> 00:43:21,512 Oh, that's because we're indoors. 777 00:43:21,599 --> 00:43:23,511 I've got some earrings like that. 778 00:43:23,601 --> 00:43:26,389 In the outside light, though, you can tell they're fake. 779 00:43:26,479 --> 00:43:28,471 How much you get for them? 780 00:43:29,273 --> 00:43:30,855 Five dollars. 781 00:43:31,818 --> 00:43:34,561 The box looks like it's worth more than that. 782 00:43:34,654 --> 00:43:35,690 Yes, it is. 783 00:43:35,780 --> 00:43:38,022 But I wish you'd buy it. 784 00:43:38,116 --> 00:43:40,824 It's an introductory offer to advertise the product. 785 00:43:40,910 --> 00:43:43,744 All right. I'll take one to help you out. 786 00:43:43,830 --> 00:43:47,244 Good. You're my first sale today. 787 00:43:47,917 --> 00:43:49,533 May I? 788 00:43:54,382 --> 00:43:56,624 It does shine... indoors anyway. 789 00:43:56,717 --> 00:44:00,256 It will shine at night too. It's a special process. 790 00:44:00,346 --> 00:44:01,427 What is it? 791 00:44:01,514 --> 00:44:02,675 Lily, only $5.00. 792 00:44:02,765 --> 00:44:04,757 His company's selling them for advertising. 793 00:44:04,851 --> 00:44:07,559 That's just what I need. You got a necklace? 794 00:44:07,645 --> 00:44:10,433 We don't carry necklaces. We may later. 795 00:44:10,523 --> 00:44:13,311 Okay. I'll take a bracelet. 796 00:44:13,401 --> 00:44:15,609 That's the only sample I had. I'm sorry. 797 00:44:15,695 --> 00:44:19,439 Aw. Tonight's my mother's birthday, 798 00:44:19,532 --> 00:44:22,616 and we'll never be through early enough for me to get her anything. 799 00:44:22,702 --> 00:44:23,988 She's still in the hospital. 800 00:44:24,078 --> 00:44:27,116 Oh, Lily, take mine. I'll get another one later. 801 00:44:27,206 --> 00:44:29,573 No, no. I don't know when we're going to get another. 802 00:44:29,667 --> 00:44:31,659 There's been a strike at the factory, you see. 803 00:44:31,752 --> 00:44:32,868 I can wait for mine. 804 00:44:32,962 --> 00:44:34,749 Oh, you owe him $5.00. 805 00:44:34,839 --> 00:44:36,580 Okay, kids, let's go. 806 00:44:38,217 --> 00:44:39,458 Sorry. Gotta go. 807 00:44:41,304 --> 00:44:43,341 Your 10 minutes is up. Come on, kids. 808 00:44:43,431 --> 00:44:45,172 - There's your $5.00. - Let's go. 809 00:44:45,266 --> 00:44:46,723 I hope your mother likes it. 810 00:44:46,809 --> 00:44:49,517 My old lady's been dead for 10 years. 811 00:44:49,604 --> 00:44:51,266 I'm just nuts about this stuff. 812 00:44:51,355 --> 00:44:54,189 When you get a necklace, show it to me. I may buy it. 813 00:44:54,275 --> 00:44:56,642 I don't think the company'll ever make necklaces. 814 00:44:56,736 --> 00:44:58,193 They'd be too dangerous. 815 00:44:58,279 --> 00:44:59,815 - Dangerous? - Mm-hmm. 816 00:44:59,906 --> 00:45:01,272 Too much radioactivity. 817 00:45:01,365 --> 00:45:02,901 Radio what? 818 00:45:02,992 --> 00:45:05,405 These stones have been exposed to atomic rays. 819 00:45:05,494 --> 00:45:06,905 That's why they shine. 820 00:45:06,996 --> 00:45:09,329 A necklace would be too strong. 821 00:45:09,415 --> 00:45:13,079 All those radioactive stones bunched up around your neck like that. 822 00:45:14,587 --> 00:45:17,000 You don't have to worry about a bracelet though. 823 00:45:17,089 --> 00:45:20,332 Just put Vaseline on your wrist every night. 824 00:45:20,426 --> 00:45:23,669 Don't skimp. A thick layer of Vaseline. 825 00:45:23,763 --> 00:45:26,005 Vaseline. Why? 826 00:45:26,098 --> 00:45:28,511 It'll keep your wrist from peeling. 827 00:45:29,518 --> 00:45:32,761 Hey! What kind of jewelry you selling? 828 00:45:32,855 --> 00:45:36,098 Atomic-ray jewelry. It's a new French company. 829 00:45:36,192 --> 00:45:39,526 Well, they're not gonna be in business long making people peel. 830 00:45:39,612 --> 00:45:42,025 You must be crazy. 831 00:45:42,114 --> 00:45:46,449 Yes. We're going to have to iron that bug out. 832 00:45:50,790 --> 00:45:52,702 Hey, Mac. 833 00:45:52,792 --> 00:45:54,784 Aren't you forgetting something? 834 00:45:54,877 --> 00:45:56,869 Oh, I beg your pardon. 835 00:46:00,341 --> 00:46:01,331 He'll pay you. 836 00:46:01,425 --> 00:46:02,415 Hold it. 837 00:46:02,510 --> 00:46:05,719 Is he all right for 20 cents on your check? 838 00:46:05,805 --> 00:46:07,171 Yeah, I'll pay it. 839 00:46:07,265 --> 00:46:08,506 Okay. 840 00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:10,135 Thank you. 841 00:46:15,356 --> 00:46:18,815 Harvey, bring me down a list of all the real estate we own downtown. 842 00:46:18,901 --> 00:46:20,187 I'm interested specifically... 843 00:46:20,278 --> 00:46:23,612 in whether there might be any of those off-Broadway theaters 844 00:46:23,698 --> 00:46:24,905 in one of the parcels. 845 00:46:24,991 --> 00:46:26,903 Right away, please. 846 00:46:37,586 --> 00:46:39,202 May I? 847 00:46:41,549 --> 00:46:42,790 You must be pretty tired. 848 00:46:42,883 --> 00:46:44,875 How many times did you go through that dance today? 849 00:46:44,969 --> 00:46:46,881 Oh, I lost count. 850 00:46:46,971 --> 00:46:49,634 Matter of fact, sometimes I even trot home afterwards. 851 00:46:49,724 --> 00:46:51,386 You sleep better. You ever trot? 852 00:46:51,475 --> 00:46:52,636 You mean, in the street? 853 00:46:52,727 --> 00:46:55,720 Sure. Nobody minds. Come on. It keeps you in shape. 854 00:46:55,813 --> 00:46:57,805 Don't you think it will seem a little odd? 855 00:46:57,898 --> 00:47:00,857 - Come on. - Uh... Uh... Amanda. 856 00:47:04,780 --> 00:47:06,362 Amanda. 857 00:47:14,832 --> 00:47:16,949 Let's get a taxi. Don't argue. 858 00:47:17,043 --> 00:47:20,582 Please, will you call me a taxi? 859 00:47:20,671 --> 00:47:22,378 Sure. You're a taxi. 860 00:47:23,549 --> 00:47:27,088 The guy who calls the taxis will be back in 10 minutes. I only park the cars. 861 00:47:27,178 --> 00:47:29,761 I want to see the manager. 862 00:47:29,847 --> 00:47:33,136 Come back in three months. Maybe he'll be out by then... with good behavior. 863 00:47:33,225 --> 00:47:35,308 Come on. 864 00:47:35,394 --> 00:47:37,727 He's only kidding. 865 00:47:39,857 --> 00:47:41,940 I'm sorry. I don't like to be spoken to that way. 866 00:47:42,026 --> 00:47:45,064 - Something the matter? - No, no. I'm just thinking. 867 00:47:45,154 --> 00:47:48,397 - About what? - About how happy you are. 868 00:47:48,491 --> 00:47:50,448 - Me happy? - Mm-hmm. 869 00:47:50,534 --> 00:47:53,743 You seem able to forget yourself. 870 00:47:54,580 --> 00:47:58,449 That's the way you dance, and you walk in the street that way too. 871 00:47:58,542 --> 00:48:01,831 You seem at home wherever you are. 872 00:48:03,422 --> 00:48:05,914 It must be a great feeling. Taxi! 873 00:48:09,595 --> 00:48:10,927 Get in. 874 00:48:11,013 --> 00:48:13,346 - Oh, but where are we going? - Uptown. Come on. 875 00:48:13,432 --> 00:48:16,675 Oh, can you lend me a couple of dollars? I'm short. 876 00:48:19,188 --> 00:48:21,851 I don't usually borrow money. 877 00:48:24,527 --> 00:48:25,859 Thank you. 878 00:48:25,945 --> 00:48:28,653 But why don't we take a subway? It's only 15 cents. 879 00:48:28,739 --> 00:48:31,356 The subway's too full of people. Here we go. 880 00:48:31,450 --> 00:48:33,112 - Is this definite? - Uptown. 881 00:48:34,703 --> 00:48:36,990 Seventy-fourth off Columbus Avenue. 882 00:48:58,269 --> 00:49:00,602 Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. 883 00:49:00,688 --> 00:49:03,931 - Amanda, you mustn't throw yourself away. - What? 884 00:49:04,024 --> 00:49:06,607 A girl like you could have everything in the world. 885 00:49:06,694 --> 00:49:07,684 You sound like those men 886 00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:10,486 who send invitations to my dressing room with their chauffeurs. 887 00:49:10,573 --> 00:49:12,610 Coming from you, it's kind of sweet. 888 00:49:12,700 --> 00:49:14,862 Amanda, you shouldn't work this hard. 889 00:49:14,952 --> 00:49:17,239 Dear man, 890 00:49:17,329 --> 00:49:19,616 you've got a whole wrong idea. 891 00:49:19,707 --> 00:49:22,199 You'll never get anywhere in the theater unless you work. 892 00:49:22,293 --> 00:49:25,206 Right now, when you walk home, work. 893 00:49:25,296 --> 00:49:29,210 Imagine. What would it be like to lift your finger... 894 00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:32,464 and be able to have anything your heart desires? 895 00:49:32,553 --> 00:49:34,465 What would that be like? 896 00:49:35,598 --> 00:49:37,055 I can't imagine. 897 00:49:37,141 --> 00:49:38,928 Well, think. 898 00:49:39,018 --> 00:49:42,887 Let's say you want a limousine. You have it. 899 00:49:42,980 --> 00:49:45,188 Uh, a whole building. 900 00:49:45,274 --> 00:49:46,640 A girl. 901 00:49:46,734 --> 00:49:48,020 Not all girls. 902 00:49:48,110 --> 00:49:49,817 Well, an awful lot though. 903 00:49:49,904 --> 00:49:52,237 He wouldn't know the difference anyway. 904 00:49:52,323 --> 00:49:56,067 How do you know? Maybe he would... one time. 905 00:49:56,160 --> 00:49:59,324 That's a good idea. You're thinking. 906 00:49:59,413 --> 00:50:03,748 A man like that madly in love, with all that power. 907 00:50:03,834 --> 00:50:06,622 You see? You're working. 908 00:50:06,712 --> 00:50:07,702 Oh, I am. 909 00:50:07,796 --> 00:50:09,628 But don't stop now. Keep it up. 910 00:50:09,715 --> 00:50:11,798 - He's with a girl. He's saying good night. - Hmm? 911 00:50:11,884 --> 00:50:13,716 She says "Good night." And... 912 00:50:13,802 --> 00:50:15,418 And what would he do? 913 00:50:16,055 --> 00:50:17,887 Probably grab for her. 914 00:50:20,601 --> 00:50:22,308 And what would she do? 915 00:50:22,394 --> 00:50:25,228 Well, there's your problem. 916 00:50:25,314 --> 00:50:27,931 - Good night. - Please. You make me feel full of talent. 917 00:50:28,025 --> 00:50:29,937 Couldn't we work more? 918 00:50:30,027 --> 00:50:32,394 I can't. Not now. 919 00:50:32,488 --> 00:50:33,399 Good night. 920 00:50:33,489 --> 00:50:34,696 Uh... Uh... 921 00:50:57,304 --> 00:50:58,715 Sorry I'm late. 922 00:50:58,806 --> 00:51:00,763 Mmm! 923 00:51:03,143 --> 00:51:06,602 - You had your supper yet, Papa? - Just waiting for you, my dear. 924 00:51:08,899 --> 00:51:11,812 Probably another one of those young hoodlums again. 925 00:51:26,333 --> 00:51:31,453 Heavens! They've even got chauffeurs now. 926 00:51:31,547 --> 00:51:33,755 Can I use the phone, Willie? 927 00:51:33,841 --> 00:51:34,877 Say, Miller? 928 00:51:34,967 --> 00:51:36,253 Hi. 929 00:51:36,343 --> 00:51:38,050 What's going on? 930 00:51:38,137 --> 00:51:40,925 That's what I wanna find out... what's going on. 931 00:51:46,353 --> 00:51:48,470 Freeway Realty? Mr. Osgood, please. 932 00:51:49,315 --> 00:51:52,433 Mr. Osgood, my name is Miller. I'm general manager for the Theateround. 933 00:51:52,526 --> 00:51:55,519 I just received your letter. There must be some mistake, sir. 934 00:51:56,655 --> 00:51:58,317 You're a real estate firm. 935 00:51:58,407 --> 00:52:01,491 Perhaps you don't realize this isn't the way theaters are rented. 936 00:52:03,662 --> 00:52:06,029 Well, can't I even see you, sir? 937 00:52:09,043 --> 00:52:10,955 Give me a scotch, Willie. 938 00:52:11,045 --> 00:52:14,379 They're crazy. They want a year's rent on the theater in advance. 939 00:52:14,465 --> 00:52:16,457 You ever heard of such a thing, Coffman? 940 00:52:17,134 --> 00:52:19,046 Can you get another theater? 941 00:52:19,136 --> 00:52:21,128 Where? We waited four months for this one. 942 00:52:21,221 --> 00:52:23,838 We're committed with contracts, costumes, scenery. 943 00:52:24,808 --> 00:52:26,470 What'll I tell Burton? 944 00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:28,973 He's mortgaged his car, his home. He's borrowed from everyone. 945 00:52:29,063 --> 00:52:30,349 It'll kill him. 946 00:52:32,358 --> 00:52:34,850 I just don't understand it. 947 00:52:44,870 --> 00:52:46,862 I found it, Mr. Coffman. 948 00:52:46,955 --> 00:52:50,369 Freeway Realty. Principal stockholder, Investors National, 949 00:52:50,459 --> 00:52:52,826 which is controlled by Clement Enterprises. 950 00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:56,539 - Anything else I can do? - No, thank you, Susie. 951 00:53:00,302 --> 00:53:01,918 Bourbon, please. 952 00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:05,888 Six... doubles. 953 00:53:08,102 --> 00:53:11,937 You know, somebody once said that rich people are only poor people with money. 954 00:53:12,022 --> 00:53:15,515 Well, he was lying. Rich people aren't people, my friend. 955 00:53:15,609 --> 00:53:18,522 Oh, they can be charming, democratic, polite. 956 00:53:18,612 --> 00:53:21,605 You can hardly tell them from the human beings sometimes. 957 00:53:22,491 --> 00:53:25,154 Just be good and sure you don't cross them. 958 00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:33,116 Sir. 959 00:53:39,633 --> 00:53:40,794 Aha! 960 00:53:42,761 --> 00:53:44,423 - Sit down. - I will not. 961 00:53:46,181 --> 00:53:47,012 You've been drinking. 962 00:53:47,099 --> 00:53:48,715 Well, that shouldn't surprise you. 963 00:53:48,809 --> 00:53:52,644 I'm sure your secret service department has given you a complete report on me. 964 00:53:52,730 --> 00:53:56,815 When totally disgusted with the human race, I become a social drinker. 965 00:53:56,900 --> 00:54:00,064 - Mr. Clement... - You don't hold your liquor very well. 966 00:54:00,154 --> 00:54:02,237 It's not leaking out any place. 967 00:54:02,322 --> 00:54:04,439 And stop trying to interrupt me! 968 00:54:04,533 --> 00:54:06,900 You're very talkative when you drink. 969 00:54:06,994 --> 00:54:08,110 What's this all about? 970 00:54:08,203 --> 00:54:10,866 Well, who's going to tell you the truth when he's sober? 971 00:54:10,956 --> 00:54:13,664 You're a very vain man, Your Majesty. 972 00:54:13,751 --> 00:54:17,244 All those little jokes that you just kill people around here with, 973 00:54:17,337 --> 00:54:20,125 they didn't go over so big down in that theater, did they? 974 00:54:20,215 --> 00:54:23,424 And how's it going with that girl? Not so hot, huh? 975 00:54:23,510 --> 00:54:26,093 When you haven't got the old green stuff going for you? 976 00:54:26,180 --> 00:54:29,673 Money, my lord... That's all they ever kissed when they kissed you. Money. 977 00:54:29,767 --> 00:54:33,135 - I believe you'd better go now, Coffman. - Go? I quit! 978 00:54:35,856 --> 00:54:37,563 Just one question though. 979 00:54:37,649 --> 00:54:40,608 How do you sleep nights when you close a show, 980 00:54:40,694 --> 00:54:43,482 put 40 people out of work and bankrupt a man, 981 00:54:43,572 --> 00:54:45,609 all because he had the colossal gall... 982 00:54:45,699 --> 00:54:47,691 to poke a little fun at the great Jean-Marc Clement? 983 00:54:47,785 --> 00:54:48,775 Close a show? 984 00:54:48,869 --> 00:54:51,737 Oh, they'll never prove in court that you closed the show, 985 00:54:51,830 --> 00:54:55,699 but what a coincidence that you're the biggest stockholder in Investors National, 986 00:54:55,793 --> 00:54:58,911 which is the biggest stockholder in Freeway Realty, 987 00:54:59,004 --> 00:55:02,714 which suddenly wants a year's rent in advance for the theater. 988 00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:06,214 Quite a "coincidince"! 989 00:55:06,303 --> 00:55:07,794 Dence. 990 00:55:07,888 --> 00:55:10,255 I see. George Wales. 991 00:55:11,266 --> 00:55:14,134 He raised me, you see. He was worried about me. 992 00:55:16,855 --> 00:55:19,313 I know nothing about this, Coffman. 993 00:55:20,651 --> 00:55:22,108 Come here. 994 00:55:24,696 --> 00:55:27,154 Oh, come now, I listened to you politely. 995 00:55:28,784 --> 00:55:30,275 Sit down. 996 00:55:35,874 --> 00:55:37,331 Sit down. 997 00:55:41,046 --> 00:55:44,505 You're making one mistake. Very important. 998 00:55:45,592 --> 00:55:49,757 It is true that people laugh too loudly at my jokes because I am rich. 999 00:55:50,848 --> 00:55:52,885 I know that. 1000 00:55:52,975 --> 00:55:56,059 But what can I do? I like to tell jokes. 1001 00:55:56,144 --> 00:55:58,807 Shall only poor people tell jokes? 1002 00:55:59,731 --> 00:56:03,145 It is also true I give out many bracelets. 1003 00:56:03,235 --> 00:56:04,897 But I must. 1004 00:56:04,987 --> 00:56:07,195 They expect bracelets. 1005 00:56:08,198 --> 00:56:10,690 You say I am vain. 1006 00:56:10,784 --> 00:56:12,491 No. 1007 00:56:12,578 --> 00:56:15,867 If I were vain, I would refuse to give bracelets. 1008 00:56:15,956 --> 00:56:19,540 I would say you must love me for my charming smile. 1009 00:56:21,044 --> 00:56:25,129 But is it ever possible to love a rich man for his smile? 1010 00:56:26,091 --> 00:56:29,334 Look. You. Yourself. 1011 00:56:29,428 --> 00:56:33,843 Whenever you speak to me, you say "sir." "Sir," "sir," "sir." 1012 00:56:35,017 --> 00:56:37,805 You respect me so much, Mr. Coffman? 1013 00:56:38,770 --> 00:56:42,354 Obviously not. It is my money you salute. 1014 00:56:42,441 --> 00:56:44,728 - That is true, isn't it? - Yes, it is. 1015 00:56:44,818 --> 00:56:48,152 But of course. It is always true. 1016 00:56:48,238 --> 00:56:50,821 Except in one person. 1017 00:56:51,575 --> 00:56:54,864 Only that girl has ever spoken to me... 1018 00:56:54,953 --> 00:56:57,240 Not to my money, not to my name... 1019 00:56:58,624 --> 00:57:00,035 but to me. 1020 00:57:01,126 --> 00:57:03,038 And I do not intend to lose her. 1021 00:57:03,128 --> 00:57:05,370 Oh, I hope you don't. 1022 00:57:05,464 --> 00:57:07,501 Oh, I deeply hope you don't. 1023 00:57:07,591 --> 00:57:11,801 There is a job here... for an honest man. 1024 00:57:12,471 --> 00:57:14,178 Thank you, sir. 1025 00:57:14,765 --> 00:57:16,927 I wasn't addressing your money that time. 1026 00:57:17,017 --> 00:57:18,758 I'll see you in the morning. 1027 00:57:18,852 --> 00:57:20,218 And... 1028 00:57:21,229 --> 00:57:22,720 for your wife. 1029 00:57:22,814 --> 00:57:25,557 - To forgive me for keeping you so late. - Oh! 1030 00:57:25,651 --> 00:57:28,143 Now, don't tell me I am buying your approval. 1031 00:57:28,236 --> 00:57:29,647 I am. 1032 00:57:29,738 --> 00:57:32,105 But one can only give what one has, 1033 00:57:32,699 --> 00:57:34,315 and I give you that. 1034 00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:37,823 Get in early. There will be a lot to do. 1035 00:57:37,913 --> 00:57:39,575 I want my wife to be wonderful. 1036 00:57:39,665 --> 00:57:43,375 I have to find a way to put a lot of money in that show. 1037 00:57:43,460 --> 00:57:45,372 Your wife? 1038 00:57:46,004 --> 00:57:48,166 Hey there, now! 1039 00:57:48,256 --> 00:57:51,749 So when Mr. Welch here mentioned that he'd like to invest in a show, 1040 00:57:51,843 --> 00:57:55,712 I said to myself, "I've seen part of Burton's show and I think it's very good." 1041 00:57:55,806 --> 00:57:58,344 So as long as he has the bug to take a flyer anyway, 1042 00:57:58,433 --> 00:58:00,595 why, I thought I'd bring you two together. 1043 00:58:00,686 --> 00:58:02,678 Well, I'm flattered you like the show well enough... 1044 00:58:02,771 --> 00:58:04,888 to recommend your friend putting money in it. 1045 00:58:04,982 --> 00:58:08,020 But I'm not sure we can use any additional money. 1046 00:58:08,110 --> 00:58:09,601 Is that so? 1047 00:58:09,695 --> 00:58:11,903 Yes. We're fully financed. 1048 00:58:11,989 --> 00:58:15,278 However, there may be... I'm just saying there may be... 1049 00:58:15,367 --> 00:58:17,654 some small share of backing still open. 1050 00:58:17,744 --> 00:58:19,781 I'll have to go over the books. 1051 00:58:19,871 --> 00:58:22,989 And if there is, well, you can have it. 1052 00:58:23,083 --> 00:58:24,324 That's very kind of you. 1053 00:58:24,418 --> 00:58:25,909 May I speak frankly? 1054 00:58:26,003 --> 00:58:28,871 - Yes, of course. Go right ahead. - I like you. 1055 00:58:28,964 --> 00:58:31,502 I like the notion of a retired merchant like you... 1056 00:58:31,591 --> 00:58:33,457 being interested in show business. 1057 00:58:33,969 --> 00:58:35,505 That's why I'm letting you in. 1058 00:58:35,595 --> 00:58:36,961 I see. 1059 00:58:37,055 --> 00:58:40,389 Now, um, may I speak frankly? 1060 00:58:40,475 --> 00:58:43,434 - Go right ahead. - Thank you. 1061 00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:47,981 I've been horse trading across a desk like this for the last 30 years, 1062 00:58:48,066 --> 00:58:50,228 and in all that time, I don't think I've ever come across anyone... 1063 00:58:50,318 --> 00:58:52,230 quite as bad at it as you. 1064 00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:53,777 You're just awful. 1065 00:58:53,864 --> 00:58:55,275 I beg your pardon? 1066 00:58:55,365 --> 00:58:58,153 Let me give you a sample of frankness. 1067 00:58:58,243 --> 00:59:00,701 Not only aren't you fully financed, Mr. Burton, 1068 00:59:00,787 --> 00:59:04,326 but you're faced with having to get together a year's theater rent in advance. 1069 00:59:04,416 --> 00:59:05,406 You foolishly... 1070 00:59:05,500 --> 00:59:07,992 You foolishly mortgaged your home and you can't raise any more money. 1071 00:59:08,086 --> 00:59:10,123 And if I were to wait another 10 days, 1072 00:59:10,213 --> 00:59:13,297 I could pick up your theater for nothing and probably your house as well. 1073 00:59:13,383 --> 00:59:17,093 That's frankness. Please close your mouth, young man. Now then... Thank you. 1074 00:59:17,179 --> 00:59:19,466 Now then, because I like you, 1075 00:59:19,556 --> 00:59:22,344 I am prepared to finance your show entirely... 1076 00:59:22,434 --> 00:59:24,096 and take only 51 percent. 1077 00:59:24,186 --> 00:59:26,769 Then you'll have control. 1078 00:59:26,855 --> 00:59:27,891 Of course I will. 1079 00:59:27,981 --> 00:59:31,019 I never dream of putting any money into anything unless I have complete control. 1080 00:59:31,109 --> 00:59:33,442 I urge you to accept this offer, Mr. Burton. 1081 00:59:33,528 --> 00:59:35,360 It's very generous. 1082 00:59:38,283 --> 00:59:40,570 You want to know something? It is. 1083 00:59:40,660 --> 00:59:43,073 You're smarter than I thought, Mr. Burton. 1084 00:59:43,163 --> 00:59:44,620 I'll read it after I sign it. 1085 00:59:49,086 --> 00:59:51,169 I've got 51 percent of the show. 1086 00:59:51,254 --> 00:59:53,041 Complete control. 1087 01:00:19,407 --> 01:00:20,693 Hold it, kids. 1088 01:00:20,784 --> 01:00:22,150 Hold it. 1089 01:00:22,577 --> 01:00:24,034 Hold it, kids. 1090 01:00:24,121 --> 01:00:26,283 Gather round. Everybody. Come on. Gather round. 1091 01:00:26,373 --> 01:00:27,864 Which one's the bride? 1092 01:00:27,958 --> 01:00:28,948 She's not around. 1093 01:00:29,042 --> 01:00:31,409 You know, I can't believe it. I didn't think he'd ever get married. 1094 01:00:31,503 --> 01:00:33,085 - I'd given up. - Hmm. 1095 01:00:33,171 --> 01:00:34,412 - What? - There. 1096 01:00:34,506 --> 01:00:37,715 Now, gather in. And you. Come on in. John, you. 1097 01:00:37,801 --> 01:00:41,636 Ooh. There'll be children. Lots of children. 1098 01:00:41,721 --> 01:00:44,338 Coffman, there's a bonus in this for you if they get married. 1099 01:00:44,432 --> 01:00:46,139 And double if there's a baby. 1100 01:00:46,226 --> 01:00:47,637 A boy. 1101 01:00:48,728 --> 01:00:50,344 I'll do whatever I can, sir. 1102 01:00:50,438 --> 01:00:54,307 I know you've heard the rumor that I've been having money troubles. 1103 01:00:54,401 --> 01:00:57,109 Well, it was true... Was true. 1104 01:00:57,195 --> 01:00:59,687 I have here a cashier's check... 1105 01:00:59,781 --> 01:01:02,990 for more than enough money to open this show. 1106 01:01:03,076 --> 01:01:06,319 I won't tell you how much, because you'll come around asking for raises. 1107 01:01:06,413 --> 01:01:08,746 And I would like to take this occasion... 1108 01:01:08,832 --> 01:01:11,040 to introduce my new partner, Mr. George Welch, 1109 01:01:11,126 --> 01:01:12,867 a retired merchant interested in show business. 1110 01:01:12,961 --> 01:01:16,329 Mr. Welch? Your grateful company. 1111 01:01:21,678 --> 01:01:23,294 All right, clear the stage. 1112 01:01:23,388 --> 01:01:25,050 That doesn't mean anything, sir. 1113 01:01:25,140 --> 01:01:27,632 People in show business are always throwing their arms around each other. 1114 01:01:27,726 --> 01:01:29,183 They're very exuberant. 1115 01:01:29,269 --> 01:01:31,727 Why can't she be exuberant with Jean-Marc, for heaven's sake? 1116 01:01:32,606 --> 01:01:34,097 "Specialization." 1117 01:01:34,191 --> 01:01:36,274 Let's take it from the bridge, boys. 1118 01:01:39,863 --> 01:01:41,980 ♪♪ This is the number he was hired for, sir. 1119 01:01:42,073 --> 01:01:43,735 Now we'll see it. 1120 01:01:46,161 --> 01:01:47,572 ♪ Marc Clemens ♪ 1121 01:01:49,039 --> 01:01:52,123 ♪ Gives the gals the tremens ♪ 1122 01:01:52,209 --> 01:01:54,075 ♪ This Casanovan ♪ 1123 01:01:54,169 --> 01:01:57,412 ♪ Sure has the roving-est eyes ♪ 1124 01:01:59,424 --> 01:02:02,007 ♪ Specialization ♪ 1125 01:02:02,844 --> 01:02:05,632 ♪ Specialization ♪ 1126 01:02:05,722 --> 01:02:08,931 ♪ You rule the barnyard if ♪ 1127 01:02:09,017 --> 01:02:11,555 Hold it! Hold it. 1128 01:02:11,645 --> 01:02:13,853 You know what might be cute if it didn't spoil the mood? 1129 01:02:13,939 --> 01:02:17,728 When she sings about him, let him go, "Cock-a-doodle-doo." 1130 01:02:18,693 --> 01:02:20,309 Yeah, that's very funny, Oliver. 1131 01:02:20,403 --> 01:02:22,315 Go on. Go "Cock-a-doodle-doo." 1132 01:02:22,948 --> 01:02:24,530 Go on. 1133 01:02:24,616 --> 01:02:26,152 Cock-a-doodle-doo. 1134 01:02:26,243 --> 01:02:28,485 No, no, no. Like a real rooster. You know... 1135 01:02:28,578 --> 01:02:30,410 Cock-a-doodle-doo! 1136 01:02:30,497 --> 01:02:31,988 Like that. 1137 01:02:32,999 --> 01:02:34,865 Cock-a-doodle-doo. 1138 01:02:35,460 --> 01:02:36,826 Again. 1139 01:02:38,088 --> 01:02:39,545 Cock-a-doodle-doo! 1140 01:02:39,631 --> 01:02:42,715 No, louder. Cock-a-doodle-doo! 1141 01:02:42,801 --> 01:02:43,917 Like that. 1142 01:02:44,010 --> 01:02:45,376 - Like that? - Yeah. 1143 01:02:47,055 --> 01:02:48,967 Cock-a-doodle-doo! 1144 01:02:49,057 --> 01:02:50,639 That's very good. We'll keep it in. 1145 01:02:50,725 --> 01:02:52,717 Practice that at home. All right, kids. 1146 01:02:52,811 --> 01:02:55,474 Get your costumes on, and we'll try the whole number from the top. 1147 01:02:55,563 --> 01:02:57,976 Dress rehearsal. All doubles on stage. 1148 01:02:58,066 --> 01:03:00,103 Dress rehearsal. Come on, kids. Let's go, huh? 1149 01:03:00,193 --> 01:03:02,185 Let's pick up on the cues faster, shall we? 1150 01:03:02,279 --> 01:03:04,862 "Specialization." 1151 01:03:08,576 --> 01:03:10,943 ♪ If you peruse the people in the news ♪ 1152 01:03:11,037 --> 01:03:13,370 ♪ The people that the magazines ♪ 1153 01:03:13,456 --> 01:03:15,072 ♪ Refer to ♪ 1154 01:03:15,166 --> 01:03:19,456 ♪ You'll find that they are naturally soigné ♪ 1155 01:03:19,546 --> 01:03:22,755 ♪ The special ones that all of us ♪ 1156 01:03:22,841 --> 01:03:24,503 ♪ Defer to ♪ 1157 01:03:24,592 --> 01:03:27,756 ♪ They've each a trait that seems to state ♪ 1158 01:03:27,846 --> 01:03:30,259 ♪ First-raters ♪ 1159 01:03:30,348 --> 01:03:34,934 ♪ Which separates them from the small per ♪ 1160 01:03:35,020 --> 01:03:37,182 ♪ Taters ♪ 1161 01:03:38,898 --> 01:03:40,935 ♪ Maria Callas ♪ 1162 01:03:42,444 --> 01:03:44,436 ♪ Is booked in Dallas ♪ 1163 01:03:46,239 --> 01:03:49,448 ♪ Red carpets rolled out and they're sold out ♪ 1164 01:03:49,534 --> 01:03:52,868 ♪ Clear to the sky ♪ 1165 01:03:52,954 --> 01:03:56,163 ♪ Specialization ♪ 1166 01:03:56,249 --> 01:03:59,208 ♪ Specialization ♪ 1167 01:03:59,294 --> 01:04:01,331 ♪ They love your high notes if ♪ 1168 01:04:04,549 --> 01:04:07,257 ♪ If you specialize ♪ 1169 01:04:08,345 --> 01:04:09,961 ♪ When Elvis rotates ♪ 1170 01:04:11,723 --> 01:04:13,510 ♪ Each critic notates ♪ 1171 01:04:15,268 --> 01:04:18,477 ♪ It may look funny But the money's ♪ 1172 01:04:18,563 --> 01:04:19,644 ♪ What it supplies ♪ 1173 01:04:22,025 --> 01:04:25,393 ♪ Specialization ♪ 1174 01:04:25,487 --> 01:04:28,275 ♪ Specialization ♪ 1175 01:04:28,365 --> 01:04:30,357 ♪ You'll meet the colonel if ♪ 1176 01:04:33,536 --> 01:04:36,779 ♪ If you specialize ♪ 1177 01:04:36,873 --> 01:04:38,910 ♪ Salome did it with ♪ 1178 01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:40,366 ♪ Veils ♪ 1179 01:04:40,460 --> 01:04:43,749 - ♪ Abe Lincoln did it with ♪ - ♪ Rails ♪ 1180 01:04:43,838 --> 01:04:46,626 - ♪ Toledo did it with ♪ - ♪ Scales ♪ 1181 01:04:47,217 --> 01:04:49,550 ♪ The Chinese built that wall ♪ 1182 01:04:49,636 --> 01:04:51,593 ♪ Ooh, specialists all ♪ 1183 01:04:51,679 --> 01:04:52,840 ♪ Marc Clemens ♪ 1184 01:04:54,349 --> 01:04:56,466 ♪ Gives the gals the tremens ♪ 1185 01:04:57,894 --> 01:04:59,556 ♪ This Casanovan ♪ 1186 01:04:59,646 --> 01:05:02,730 ♪ Sure has the roving-est eyes ♪ 1187 01:05:04,859 --> 01:05:07,476 ♪ Specialization ♪ 1188 01:05:08,196 --> 01:05:10,813 ♪ Specialization ♪ 1189 01:05:10,907 --> 01:05:13,399 ♪ You'll rule the barnyard if ♪ 1190 01:05:14,119 --> 01:05:17,908 Cock-a-doodle-doo! 1191 01:05:17,997 --> 01:05:20,489 ♪ If you specialize ♪ 1192 01:05:22,210 --> 01:05:23,542 ♪ Van Cliburn ♪ 1193 01:05:25,171 --> 01:05:28,505 ♪ Caused us a high burn ♪ 1194 01:05:28,591 --> 01:05:30,708 ♪ While we were blushin' ♪ 1195 01:05:30,802 --> 01:05:33,545 ♪ Some Russian gave him a prize ♪ 1196 01:05:35,473 --> 01:05:38,386 - ♪ Specialization ♪ - Da. Da. 1197 01:05:38,893 --> 01:05:41,601 - ♪ Specialization ♪ - Da. Da. 1198 01:05:41,688 --> 01:05:45,523 ♪ They'll give ya medals if ♪ 1199 01:05:45,608 --> 01:05:47,565 ♪ They'll love your high notes ♪ 1200 01:05:47,652 --> 01:05:50,190 ♪ If ♪ 1201 01:05:50,280 --> 01:05:52,363 - ♪ You'll meet the colonel ♪ - ♪ If ♪ 1202 01:05:55,535 --> 01:05:56,901 ♪ You'll rule the barnyard ♪ 1203 01:05:56,995 --> 01:05:58,952 ♪ If ♪ 1204 01:05:59,706 --> 01:06:01,948 Cock-a-doodle-doo! 1205 01:06:04,252 --> 01:06:09,668 ♪ If you specialize ♪♪ 1206 01:06:13,928 --> 01:06:17,342 I specialize. 1207 01:06:20,768 --> 01:06:25,308 Jean-Marc Clement a rooster. His father's turning in his grave. 1208 01:06:25,398 --> 01:06:28,015 You are damn right it's no good. 1209 01:06:28,109 --> 01:06:30,977 I didn't count on looking that ridiculous. 1210 01:06:31,571 --> 01:06:34,689 He's got all the jokes, and I'm going "Cock-a-doodle-doo." 1211 01:06:34,782 --> 01:06:37,775 You take his jokes and let him go cock-a-doodle-doo. 1212 01:06:38,411 --> 01:06:41,370 - How about firing him? - No, no. That would upset her. 1213 01:06:41,623 --> 01:06:43,785 You'll never impress her by being a rooster... 1214 01:06:43,875 --> 01:06:45,161 unless she's a chicken. 1215 01:06:46,336 --> 01:06:49,170 You know, there are definite ways to attract women. 1216 01:06:49,255 --> 01:06:52,999 When you're 10 years old, they like it if you walk on your hands for 'em. 1217 01:06:53,092 --> 01:06:54,833 When they're older, they like other things, 1218 01:06:54,928 --> 01:06:57,090 best of all if you're rich. 1219 01:06:57,180 --> 01:07:01,049 Jean-Marc, tell her who you are. You'll be engaged within 15 minutes. 1220 01:07:02,185 --> 01:07:05,178 Oh, perhaps that's just what you're afraid of. 1221 01:07:06,856 --> 01:07:09,394 Perhaps I am. A little. 1222 01:07:09,484 --> 01:07:11,817 My dear boy, nobody's loved for themselves alone. 1223 01:07:11,903 --> 01:07:15,522 You're loved for what you can do. If she could see you as I have... 1224 01:07:15,615 --> 01:07:18,824 holding the floor at a directors' meeting for an entire afternoon, 1225 01:07:18,910 --> 01:07:22,244 trying to persuade a nervous $10 million to invest in a project. 1226 01:07:22,330 --> 01:07:25,744 Then she'd be impressed. She might even fall in love with you. 1227 01:07:25,833 --> 01:07:27,825 That's you. 1228 01:07:27,919 --> 01:07:29,831 No, George, that's my power. 1229 01:07:29,921 --> 01:07:31,833 That is five generations of money. 1230 01:07:31,923 --> 01:07:33,755 That is a billionaire. 1231 01:07:34,759 --> 01:07:36,842 But it is not me. 1232 01:07:36,928 --> 01:07:40,262 And this girl, I want to fall in love with me. 1233 01:07:40,348 --> 01:07:42,385 At the moment, she's admiring Tony Danton. 1234 01:07:42,475 --> 01:07:44,307 She's kissing Tony Danton, and I'll tell you... 1235 01:07:44,394 --> 01:07:46,852 There's no big mystery about human attraction. 1236 01:07:46,938 --> 01:07:50,306 She'll go on admiring him, she'll go on kissing him, and they'll fall in love. 1237 01:07:50,400 --> 01:07:52,312 And you, with a billion dollars in your pocket, 1238 01:07:52,402 --> 01:07:55,861 can go cock your doodle-doo till you grow feathers. 1239 01:07:55,947 --> 01:07:59,111 Every man to his own battlefield, my boy. 1240 01:07:59,200 --> 01:08:01,908 On this one, you haven't got a prayer. 1241 01:08:02,996 --> 01:08:04,988 Unless... 1242 01:08:05,081 --> 01:08:06,788 Unless I get stronger ammunition. 1243 01:08:06,874 --> 01:08:09,207 - What do you mean? - It's only bought for him. 1244 01:08:09,294 --> 01:08:10,956 People write his jokes, 1245 01:08:11,045 --> 01:08:14,413 and not the best, because that show can't afford the best. 1246 01:08:14,507 --> 01:08:17,341 But I can. 1247 01:08:17,427 --> 01:08:19,214 Do you have any ideas or suggestions? 1248 01:08:19,304 --> 01:08:20,761 Not offha... Oh. 1249 01:08:20,847 --> 01:08:25,012 Well, we do own a large block of stock in NBC, don't we? 1250 01:08:25,101 --> 01:08:29,220 Now let me think. Our... Our two men there are Comstock and Yale. 1251 01:08:29,314 --> 01:08:31,476 They both hold key positions on the board. 1252 01:08:31,566 --> 01:08:33,523 - Tell them I want a teacher. - What? 1253 01:08:33,610 --> 01:08:36,318 Tell them to get me the greatest comedian in the world. 1254 01:08:37,572 --> 01:08:41,236 That's very flattering, but I can think of many greater comedians than myself. 1255 01:08:41,326 --> 01:08:43,113 For instance, there's, uh... 1256 01:08:43,995 --> 01:08:45,531 There's, um... 1257 01:08:46,122 --> 01:08:47,533 Or... 1258 01:08:48,583 --> 01:08:50,165 You know, maybe you're right. 1259 01:08:50,251 --> 01:08:54,416 Mr. Berle, I want you to give serious consideration to my offer. 1260 01:08:54,505 --> 01:08:57,339 Oh, I have. This is a very, very generous offer, 1261 01:08:57,425 --> 01:08:59,041 but as Mr. Comstock and Mr. Yale will tell you, 1262 01:08:59,135 --> 01:09:01,627 I'm under a long-term contract to the network. 1263 01:09:01,721 --> 01:09:03,553 Oh, that's all right, Milton. 1264 01:09:03,640 --> 01:09:07,259 Clement Enterprises has a large block of shares in NBC. 1265 01:09:07,810 --> 01:09:09,142 Oh, I see. 1266 01:09:09,228 --> 01:09:12,517 Well, sir, this is a very, very fantastic figure. 1267 01:09:12,607 --> 01:09:15,566 The first time I read it I didn't know if this was what you were going to pay me, 1268 01:09:15,652 --> 01:09:17,518 or my Social Security number. 1269 01:09:22,950 --> 01:09:25,283 Well, Mr. Berle, can you do the job? 1270 01:09:28,998 --> 01:09:32,241 Sir, it's all according to how funny you're talking about. 1271 01:09:32,335 --> 01:09:34,418 Are you talking about ha-ha funny... 1272 01:09:34,504 --> 01:09:36,370 or ha-ha-ha-ha funny... 1273 01:09:36,464 --> 01:09:38,877 or hardy-har-har funny? 1274 01:09:38,966 --> 01:09:43,301 Now, let me show you first my, uh... my comedy walk. 1275 01:09:43,388 --> 01:09:45,345 It's a very big scream. My ankle bit. 1276 01:09:45,431 --> 01:09:47,423 See, I stand up, and I walk around on my ankles. 1277 01:09:54,649 --> 01:09:56,766 Now, stand up, sir, and let me show you how to do it. 1278 01:09:56,859 --> 01:09:59,272 - You gotta turn your ankle... - Mr. Berle. Mr. Berle! 1279 01:09:59,362 --> 01:10:01,354 I am not your pupil. 1280 01:10:07,704 --> 01:10:09,240 You're not the gentleman I'm going to teach? 1281 01:10:09,330 --> 01:10:10,537 No. 1282 01:10:10,915 --> 01:10:12,247 Well, then who is? 1283 01:10:12,333 --> 01:10:14,620 Jean-Marc Clement. 1284 01:10:21,509 --> 01:10:23,000 That's fine. That's better. 1285 01:10:23,094 --> 01:10:24,756 A little broader. A little broader. That's fine. 1286 01:10:24,846 --> 01:10:27,133 Now turn around the other way. You're doing great, sir. 1287 01:10:27,223 --> 01:10:30,011 That's it. Up there. Wonderful. Wonderful! 1288 01:10:30,101 --> 01:10:32,093 It's the worst thing I have ever seen. 1289 01:10:32,186 --> 01:10:33,768 - Am I doing something wrong? - Oh, no, no. 1290 01:10:33,855 --> 01:10:36,848 You're doing it swell, but you have to exaggerate a little more, sir. 1291 01:10:36,941 --> 01:10:38,432 Watch me again, will ya? 1292 01:10:38,526 --> 01:10:43,146 Dough, dough, dough, dough. 1293 01:10:43,239 --> 01:10:45,947 You understand? Look, you say those words as you do it. Go ahead. 1294 01:10:48,286 --> 01:10:53,077 Dough. Dough. Dough. Dough. 1295 01:10:53,166 --> 01:10:56,750 You sound as if dough doesn't mean anything to you. 1296 01:10:56,836 --> 01:10:57,872 And it probably doesn't. 1297 01:10:57,962 --> 01:11:01,797 Can you show me something a little more, uh, sophisticated? 1298 01:11:02,800 --> 01:11:04,883 - Sophisticated. - Yeah. 1299 01:11:04,969 --> 01:11:06,050 Let me see. 1300 01:11:06,137 --> 01:11:08,629 I have it, baby... Uh, pardon me, Mr. Clement. 1301 01:11:08,723 --> 01:11:10,385 I have it. I have a great, great idea. 1302 01:11:10,475 --> 01:11:11,966 - Sophistication you want? - Yes. 1303 01:11:12,059 --> 01:11:13,846 Oh, this is gonna be great. You walk out... 1304 01:11:13,936 --> 01:11:16,553 Walk out on the stage very sophisticated like. You see? 1305 01:11:16,647 --> 01:11:20,186 Very debonair. Suave. Classy. 1306 01:11:20,276 --> 01:11:22,859 With dignity and charm, and you stand there, 1307 01:11:22,945 --> 01:11:25,312 and you look at the audience for a brief second, 1308 01:11:25,406 --> 01:11:27,819 and then you walk around like this. 1309 01:11:28,951 --> 01:11:30,943 The audience will scream. They'll scream. 1310 01:11:31,037 --> 01:11:34,201 Mr. Berle, I'd rather not. This is more you than me. 1311 01:11:34,290 --> 01:11:35,872 I have... Oh, boy. 1312 01:11:35,958 --> 01:11:38,041 I have a gag that I always do. 1313 01:11:38,127 --> 01:11:40,119 It's dynamite. It's the best thing that I've ever done. 1314 01:11:40,213 --> 01:11:42,546 - Is this material original? - Original? 1315 01:11:42,632 --> 01:11:44,544 Mm-hmm. 1316 01:11:46,844 --> 01:11:48,756 Forget it. We'll try something else. 1317 01:11:48,846 --> 01:11:50,963 Um, let's see... 1318 01:11:51,057 --> 01:11:54,266 Oh. I have... I have a joke... 1319 01:11:54,352 --> 01:11:58,016 When I do it on television, 40 million Americans scream at this. 1320 01:11:58,105 --> 01:12:00,017 And here's the line. You... Listen. 1321 01:12:00,107 --> 01:12:01,973 I swear I'll "kew" you. 1322 01:12:02,068 --> 01:12:05,527 I'll "kew" you a million times. 1323 01:12:05,613 --> 01:12:06,603 - You like that, huh? - Yes. 1324 01:12:06,697 --> 01:12:07,687 He likes that. 1325 01:12:07,782 --> 01:12:09,865 Will you try it? "I swear I'll kew you. 1326 01:12:09,951 --> 01:12:11,943 I'll kew you a million times." Say it. Go ahead. 1327 01:12:13,621 --> 01:12:14,953 That's it. Now say it. 1328 01:12:15,039 --> 01:12:16,951 I swear I kill you. 1329 01:12:17,041 --> 01:12:19,078 I kill you a million times. 1330 01:12:21,504 --> 01:12:23,245 - I'm sick. - Sick? 1331 01:12:23,339 --> 01:12:26,332 Yeah, I'm sick from laughing at you, 'cause you're great. 1332 01:12:26,425 --> 01:12:27,632 - You're great. - No. 1333 01:12:27,718 --> 01:12:30,882 You're very kind, Mr. Berle, but I don't think I did it right. 1334 01:12:30,972 --> 01:12:33,305 Oh, come on, Mr. Clement. You're wonderful. 1335 01:12:33,391 --> 01:12:35,724 Are you gonna listen to your Uncle Miltie? You're great. 1336 01:12:35,810 --> 01:12:38,803 You're wonderful, but there's only one little thing. 1337 01:12:38,896 --> 01:12:42,606 It isn't the word "kill." It's "kew." 1338 01:12:42,692 --> 01:12:45,480 Kew. See? Let me hear you say it. 1339 01:12:45,570 --> 01:12:47,857 - Kill. - No, not ki... It's "kew." 1340 01:12:48,781 --> 01:12:50,738 - Kill. - No, you have to purse your lips. 1341 01:12:50,825 --> 01:12:52,407 - May I... - Please. 1342 01:12:52,952 --> 01:12:53,988 - Kew. - Kill. 1343 01:12:54,078 --> 01:12:55,694 Not kill. Relax. Relax. 1344 01:12:55,788 --> 01:12:57,074 - Kew. - Kill. 1345 01:12:57,164 --> 01:12:58,575 - Kew. - Kill. 1346 01:12:58,666 --> 01:13:00,658 No, ki... The "L" is silent. Say kew. 1347 01:13:00,751 --> 01:13:03,038 - Key-ee. - No, not "key-ee." No, just "kew." 1348 01:13:03,129 --> 01:13:04,290 - Kew. - Key. 1349 01:13:04,380 --> 01:13:05,587 - Kew. Kew. - Key. 1350 01:13:05,673 --> 01:13:06,663 - No, kew. - Key. 1351 01:13:06,757 --> 01:13:07,747 - Kew. - Kill. 1352 01:13:07,842 --> 01:13:09,834 Will you get the "L" out? Don't pronounce the "L." 1353 01:13:09,927 --> 01:13:10,963 - Kew. - Kill. 1354 01:13:11,053 --> 01:13:12,510 A little... You gotta go... 1355 01:13:12,597 --> 01:13:14,133 K... Kew. 1356 01:13:17,935 --> 01:13:19,426 Kill. 1357 01:13:22,398 --> 01:13:24,481 Forget it. We'll try something else. 1358 01:13:26,527 --> 01:13:28,109 This is murder. 1359 01:13:28,195 --> 01:13:31,063 What kind of a job did you get me I ask you? 1360 01:13:31,157 --> 01:13:32,819 I'm afraid it's useless. 1361 01:13:32,909 --> 01:13:34,650 What do you mean, it's useless? 1362 01:13:34,744 --> 01:13:36,701 I'll make you so funny your only problem... 1363 01:13:36,787 --> 01:13:39,450 will be to get her to stop laughing long enough to have babies. 1364 01:13:39,540 --> 01:13:43,159 No. Uh... 1365 01:13:43,252 --> 01:13:45,710 Show me what I can do with a woman. 1366 01:13:47,798 --> 01:13:50,381 After what I read about you, I'm sure that you can show me. 1367 01:13:50,468 --> 01:13:52,926 No, no. I mean something comical. 1368 01:13:53,012 --> 01:13:55,299 Something... Something funny. 1369 01:13:55,389 --> 01:13:57,972 Oh. I thought you meant... 1370 01:13:58,059 --> 01:13:59,721 What you can do with... I have it. 1371 01:13:59,810 --> 01:14:01,893 I have a great boy-and-girl bit. 1372 01:14:01,979 --> 01:14:03,436 Let's step down here. 1373 01:14:03,522 --> 01:14:05,980 Look, in this scene I'll be the b... I'll be the girl. 1374 01:14:06,067 --> 01:14:07,478 I'll be the girl, and you be the boy. 1375 01:14:07,568 --> 01:14:08,558 - Understand? - Yes. 1376 01:14:08,653 --> 01:14:10,645 You're standing on a corner and you're waiting for your girl, 1377 01:14:10,738 --> 01:14:12,730 and I want you to ad-lib a line, like you're impatient. 1378 01:14:12,823 --> 01:14:14,439 "Where is my girl? She's supposed to be here." 1379 01:14:14,533 --> 01:14:17,571 I'll be the girl, and I'll go off there by the door and do it. 1380 01:14:17,662 --> 01:14:19,574 - Okay. - All right. Let's try it. 1381 01:14:19,664 --> 01:14:21,326 No. Turn around. Face the audience. 1382 01:14:21,415 --> 01:14:23,156 That's the first thing you gotta learn, Mr. Clement. 1383 01:14:23,250 --> 01:14:24,832 Look at the audience. Go ahead. 1384 01:14:24,919 --> 01:14:26,581 Look... Look at your watch. 1385 01:14:26,671 --> 01:14:28,663 - Okay. - Go ahead. 1386 01:14:29,840 --> 01:14:34,130 Where is she? She's supposed to meet me here. 1387 01:14:34,804 --> 01:14:36,921 Oh. She's late again. 1388 01:14:38,683 --> 01:14:40,174 That's very good. 1389 01:14:40,267 --> 01:14:42,805 Remember now, I'm the girl. 1390 01:14:42,895 --> 01:14:44,386 I'm the girl. 1391 01:14:44,480 --> 01:14:46,597 Hi. 1392 01:14:46,691 --> 01:14:48,182 I'm coming on. 1393 01:15:07,169 --> 01:15:10,207 And 40 million Americans call you "uncle"? 1394 01:15:25,855 --> 01:15:27,391 Milton Berle's here. 1395 01:15:27,481 --> 01:15:28,972 Right this way, Mr. Berle. 1396 01:15:29,066 --> 01:15:30,523 - Uncle Miltie. - Milton Berle's here. 1397 01:15:30,609 --> 01:15:32,817 - Milton Berle's here. - Uncle Miltie. 1398 01:15:36,157 --> 01:15:37,898 Hold it. Hold it. 1399 01:15:37,992 --> 01:15:39,858 Mr. Berle to see you, Mr. Welch. 1400 01:15:39,952 --> 01:15:41,614 Thank you. 1401 01:15:41,704 --> 01:15:43,570 - Hi, Milton. - Hiya, Georgie. 1402 01:15:43,664 --> 01:15:45,621 - I didn't mean to stop the rehearsal. - Not at all. 1403 01:15:45,708 --> 01:15:47,165 Do you know Mr. Coffman? 1404 01:15:47,251 --> 01:15:48,742 How do you do, Mr. Coffman? 1405 01:15:48,836 --> 01:15:50,623 This is my producer, Oliver Burton. 1406 01:15:50,713 --> 01:15:51,544 Glad to meet you, sir. 1407 01:15:51,630 --> 01:15:52,837 Mr. Berle, I'm happy to meet you. 1408 01:15:52,923 --> 01:15:56,542 I had no idea Mr. Welch knew any prominent theatrical people. 1409 01:15:56,635 --> 01:15:59,594 Oh, Georgie? You must be kidding. One of my first sponsors. 1410 01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:01,296 On radio. 1411 01:16:01,390 --> 01:16:03,382 Why don't you hang around? Watch a bit of the rehearsal. 1412 01:16:03,476 --> 01:16:04,466 I'd be very glad to. 1413 01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:06,426 We rarely get free advice from people like you. 1414 01:16:06,520 --> 01:16:10,139 Oh, I just dropped by to pay my respects to old Welchy boy here. 1415 01:16:10,232 --> 01:16:12,474 By the way, as I was coming in just now, 1416 01:16:12,568 --> 01:16:15,106 I saw your comedian rehearsing. 1417 01:16:15,196 --> 01:16:16,858 Wonderful. I stopped to listen. 1418 01:16:16,947 --> 01:16:18,904 Professional curiosity, you know. 1419 01:16:18,991 --> 01:16:21,449 Boy, he was doing a funny routine. 1420 01:16:21,535 --> 01:16:24,152 Mr. Burton, I wanna tell you, you have a great comedian on your hands. 1421 01:16:24,246 --> 01:16:26,363 Mr. Berle, you don't know what that means to us... 1422 01:16:26,457 --> 01:16:29,120 to have someone like you compliment us. 1423 01:16:29,210 --> 01:16:32,078 Get Tony. He can use the encouragement. 1424 01:16:32,171 --> 01:16:34,083 Tony! Tony Danton. 1425 01:16:34,173 --> 01:16:36,790 Come on, fellas. Clear the stage. 1426 01:16:37,426 --> 01:16:38,837 Yeah, here I am. 1427 01:16:38,928 --> 01:16:41,386 - That's not him. - It's not? 1428 01:16:41,472 --> 01:16:44,965 Tony, I want you to say hello to Mr. Berle. 1429 01:16:45,059 --> 01:16:46,550 - Hi, Tony. - Hello, Mr. Berle. 1430 01:16:46,644 --> 01:16:49,011 I just wanted you to meet him. 1431 01:16:50,773 --> 01:16:52,514 There's the fellow. 1432 01:16:56,904 --> 01:16:57,860 Him? 1433 01:16:57,947 --> 01:16:59,233 That's the one, right there. 1434 01:17:03,702 --> 01:17:06,570 Oh, you... Come here, will ya? 1435 01:17:06,664 --> 01:17:08,121 No! I mean you. 1436 01:17:08,207 --> 01:17:09,664 Yes, you. 1437 01:17:14,755 --> 01:17:15,745 What's the matter? 1438 01:17:15,840 --> 01:17:17,456 Were you rehearsing out there? 1439 01:17:18,676 --> 01:17:21,259 Oh, that. Just a little skit I put together... 1440 01:17:21,345 --> 01:17:23,928 for a surprise party we're giving a friend. 1441 01:17:24,014 --> 01:17:27,132 - It's not very funny. - Milton Berle thinks it's funny. 1442 01:17:28,936 --> 01:17:31,098 Milton... 1443 01:17:31,188 --> 01:17:32,395 Why, really, Mr. Berle? 1444 01:17:32,481 --> 01:17:34,598 Yes. I think it was just wonderful. 1445 01:17:34,692 --> 01:17:36,900 You're underestimating yourself, kid. 1446 01:17:36,986 --> 01:17:39,649 Uh, why don't you do the routine for the gentlemen? 1447 01:17:39,738 --> 01:17:41,195 - Oh, no... - All right. 1448 01:17:41,282 --> 01:17:42,614 Clear the stage. 1449 01:17:42,700 --> 01:17:44,191 Clear the stage. 1450 01:17:44,285 --> 01:17:45,776 Clear the stage off, huh, fellas? 1451 01:17:45,870 --> 01:17:47,953 Do the subway routine that I taught you. 1452 01:17:48,038 --> 01:17:49,700 It's the best bit that you do. 1453 01:18:00,551 --> 01:18:02,042 May I? 1454 01:18:11,812 --> 01:18:13,974 I'd like to give my impression... 1455 01:18:14,064 --> 01:18:17,057 of a man going to work in the morning on the subway. 1456 01:18:19,528 --> 01:18:21,144 He's great. Great. Watch him. 1457 01:19:01,070 --> 01:19:02,936 He's beautiful! 1458 01:19:25,803 --> 01:19:28,011 Oh, he's great! 1459 01:19:34,061 --> 01:19:35,643 Beautiful! 1460 01:19:43,445 --> 01:19:44,435 Where is she? 1461 01:19:44,530 --> 01:19:46,613 She's supposed to meet me here. 1462 01:19:46,699 --> 01:19:48,907 Oh, she's late... again. 1463 01:20:28,365 --> 01:20:30,277 Oh, beautiful. 1464 01:20:30,367 --> 01:20:31,858 Beautiful! 1465 01:20:42,546 --> 01:20:45,835 It's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life! 1466 01:21:04,693 --> 01:21:07,276 They're gonna ask you to sign for the run of the play. 1467 01:21:07,363 --> 01:21:08,353 What's that? 1468 01:21:08,447 --> 01:21:11,110 To stay with the show as long as it runs. 1469 01:21:11,200 --> 01:21:13,908 But you're entitled to more money. 1470 01:21:15,371 --> 01:21:17,533 - Hey, you were good. - Really? 1471 01:21:17,623 --> 01:21:20,240 Well, I've got to run along. 1472 01:21:20,334 --> 01:21:22,041 Very good, son. Lots of luck. 1473 01:21:22,127 --> 01:21:23,538 Thank you, Mr. Berle. 1474 01:21:23,629 --> 01:21:25,666 - Welchy, old boy. Bye-bye. - Bye-bye. 1475 01:21:25,756 --> 01:21:27,122 - My regards to the family. - I will. 1476 01:21:27,216 --> 01:21:28,832 - Remember me at home. - Yes. Yes. 1477 01:21:28,926 --> 01:21:30,383 So long. 1478 01:21:30,469 --> 01:21:33,462 So long, kids. Happy show. 1479 01:21:33,555 --> 01:21:35,968 Thank you, Milton Berle. 1480 01:21:37,851 --> 01:21:39,433 We have to sign him right now. 1481 01:21:39,520 --> 01:21:40,510 Certainly. 1482 01:21:40,604 --> 01:21:41,640 What's his name? 1483 01:21:41,730 --> 01:21:43,437 Al... Alphonse, I think. 1484 01:21:43,524 --> 01:21:45,015 Oh, fella? 1485 01:21:45,109 --> 01:21:46,475 Step over here, will ya? 1486 01:21:47,111 --> 01:21:50,149 I'll ask for a hundred-dollar raise. 1487 01:21:50,239 --> 01:21:52,982 I wouldn't dare ask for more than 30. 1488 01:21:53,075 --> 01:21:55,692 But... go ahead. 1489 01:21:55,786 --> 01:21:57,277 Don't be shy. 1490 01:22:00,249 --> 01:22:02,787 Nobody talk. Let me handle this. 1491 01:22:03,877 --> 01:22:05,493 Yes, sir? 1492 01:22:05,587 --> 01:22:07,123 That wasn't bad. 1493 01:22:07,214 --> 01:22:10,503 - Thank you, sir. - Say, I'm sorry, but what is your name? 1494 01:22:10,592 --> 01:22:12,879 Dumas. Alex Dumas. 1495 01:22:12,970 --> 01:22:14,757 You don't say. 1496 01:22:14,847 --> 01:22:16,634 Alex, I think we can use your bit. 1497 01:22:16,723 --> 01:22:19,261 I'm not promising now. We may be over length. 1498 01:22:19,351 --> 01:22:21,843 Kerry, I wanna give Dumas here a $10 increase. 1499 01:22:21,937 --> 01:22:22,927 Very well, sir. 1500 01:22:23,021 --> 01:22:25,058 Have him sign the usual run-of-the-play contract. 1501 01:22:25,149 --> 01:22:26,139 Right. 1502 01:22:26,233 --> 01:22:27,974 Not bad, eh, Alex? 1503 01:22:29,278 --> 01:22:31,440 A $10 jump. 1504 01:22:31,530 --> 01:22:33,817 I don't think that's enough, Mr. Burton. 1505 01:22:36,201 --> 01:22:37,908 I wonder if I heard you right. 1506 01:22:37,995 --> 01:22:39,452 - I think so. - I don't. 1507 01:22:39,538 --> 01:22:41,951 Well, I'd like $50 more. 1508 01:22:43,792 --> 01:22:45,658 Where did you get that absurd idea? 1509 01:22:45,752 --> 01:22:47,493 Milton Berle was laughing. 1510 01:22:47,588 --> 01:22:49,500 He was just being polite. 1511 01:22:49,590 --> 01:22:52,799 Now look, Dumas, you're new in show business. 1512 01:22:52,885 --> 01:22:55,753 A $50 raise is unheard of. Ask anybody. 1513 01:22:55,846 --> 01:22:57,838 I would like $50 more. 1514 01:22:57,931 --> 01:22:59,923 It's out of the question! 1515 01:23:00,017 --> 01:23:03,055 Here, uh, Amanda. Tell him, will ya? 1516 01:23:03,145 --> 01:23:04,932 He wants a $50 raise. 1517 01:23:05,022 --> 01:23:06,479 Come over here, dear. 1518 01:23:10,694 --> 01:23:14,938 You don't realize, Dumas, this isn't a big business. You can't expect... 1519 01:23:15,032 --> 01:23:17,069 I'm offering him a $10 raise. 1520 01:23:17,159 --> 01:23:18,821 Isn't that fair? 1521 01:23:18,911 --> 01:23:21,403 Don't ask me. I'm not a... 1522 01:23:21,497 --> 01:23:23,580 Honey, the fella's just beginning. 1523 01:23:23,665 --> 01:23:26,624 This is his first big part. He's getting a terrific opportunity. 1524 01:23:27,711 --> 01:23:30,624 I-I know, but, well... 1525 01:23:30,714 --> 01:23:34,082 He only got the part because he happens to look like Clement. 1526 01:23:34,176 --> 01:23:36,793 That's not such an opportunity. 1527 01:23:36,887 --> 01:23:39,300 Did you tell him to ask for 50? 1528 01:23:39,389 --> 01:23:41,847 No. Uh... 1529 01:23:41,934 --> 01:23:43,516 But, 40's... 1530 01:23:43,602 --> 01:23:45,434 Have you lost your mind? Forty? 1531 01:23:45,521 --> 01:23:47,979 There is no need to shout at her. 1532 01:23:48,065 --> 01:23:50,808 Don't tell me how to run my company, will ya? 1533 01:23:50,901 --> 01:23:52,858 You've no right to talk to her that way. 1534 01:23:52,945 --> 01:23:54,777 Will you take $10, or won't you? 1535 01:23:54,863 --> 01:23:56,399 I certainly will not. 1536 01:23:56,490 --> 01:23:58,982 Then you're fired. Please leave this theater. 1537 01:23:59,076 --> 01:24:01,568 - Am I fired? - What? No. 1538 01:24:01,662 --> 01:24:05,246 - What? - He's a partner. He likes me. 1539 01:24:05,332 --> 01:24:06,789 - I like him. - See? 1540 01:24:06,875 --> 01:24:10,084 But I don't, and I want him out of the show. Now get outta here. 1541 01:24:10,170 --> 01:24:12,708 Your 49% wants him out of the show, 1542 01:24:12,798 --> 01:24:15,666 but my 51 wants him in, so he stays in, doesn't he? 1543 01:24:15,759 --> 01:24:17,842 I'll settle the money question. 1544 01:24:17,928 --> 01:24:19,760 Come with me, young man. 1545 01:24:25,018 --> 01:24:26,475 What do we do now? 1546 01:24:26,562 --> 01:24:27,928 I get $50 raise. 1547 01:24:28,021 --> 01:24:30,138 When you get excited, you're just like your father. 1548 01:24:30,232 --> 01:24:32,269 And she gets $50 raise. 1549 01:24:32,359 --> 01:24:34,692 What for? What's the purpose of that? 1550 01:24:34,778 --> 01:24:36,940 Écoutez. L'incident est clos. 1551 01:24:38,323 --> 01:24:40,565 Same sentence his father used to use. 1552 01:24:45,872 --> 01:24:49,036 He gets a $50 raise, and she gets a $50 raise. 1553 01:24:49,126 --> 01:24:51,584 What? What for? 1554 01:24:51,670 --> 01:24:54,128 Écoutez. L'incident est clos. 1555 01:24:54,214 --> 01:24:56,957 - Start the rehearsal. - Yes, sir. 1556 01:24:57,050 --> 01:24:59,463 Okay, Amanda, You wanna get to wardrobe for "Let's Make Love." 1557 01:24:59,553 --> 01:25:02,296 Dress rehearsal... "Let's Make Love." 1558 01:25:05,142 --> 01:25:06,633 May I help you? 1559 01:25:06,727 --> 01:25:10,186 Boy, you sure got a lot of different sides to your character. 1560 01:25:19,489 --> 01:25:21,572 ♪ Oh, the gentle art of conversation ♪ 1561 01:25:21,658 --> 01:25:25,572 ♪ Is deader than the Dead Sea Scrolls ♪ 1562 01:25:25,662 --> 01:25:28,325 ♪ We've become the mutest kind of nation ♪ 1563 01:25:28,415 --> 01:25:32,409 ♪ We're uncommunicating souls ♪ 1564 01:25:32,502 --> 01:25:36,587 ♪ No one talks No one talks ♪ 1565 01:25:36,673 --> 01:25:39,962 ♪ It's something we seldom ever do ♪ 1566 01:25:40,052 --> 01:25:44,262 ♪ No one talks No one talks ♪ 1567 01:25:48,185 --> 01:25:51,929 ♪ No one talks but ♪ 1568 01:25:52,022 --> 01:25:53,479 ♪ You ♪ 1569 01:26:08,497 --> 01:26:10,989 ♪ Here we sit ♪ 1570 01:26:11,083 --> 01:26:12,790 ♪ And we chatter ♪ 1571 01:26:12,876 --> 01:26:17,371 ♪ What are we thinking of ♪ 1572 01:26:17,464 --> 01:26:19,831 ♪ Let's not make ♪ 1573 01:26:19,925 --> 01:26:22,212 ♪ With the patter ♪ 1574 01:26:22,302 --> 01:26:24,385 ♪ Baby ♪ 1575 01:26:25,389 --> 01:26:27,005 ♪ Let's make love ♪ 1576 01:26:27,099 --> 01:26:29,261 ♪ My, oh, my ♪ 1577 01:26:29,351 --> 01:26:31,138 ♪ But it's stifling ♪ 1578 01:26:31,228 --> 01:26:34,016 ♪ If you roar ♪ 1579 01:26:34,106 --> 01:26:35,847 ♪ Like a lion ♪ 1580 01:26:35,941 --> 01:26:38,558 ♪ I could coo ♪ 1581 01:26:38,652 --> 01:26:40,484 ♪ Like a dove ♪ 1582 01:26:40,570 --> 01:26:42,903 ♪ If you're sold ♪ 1583 01:26:42,989 --> 01:26:44,855 ♪ Begin buyin' ♪ 1584 01:26:44,950 --> 01:26:46,441 ♪ Baby ♪ 1585 01:26:48,370 --> 01:26:49,656 ♪ Let's make love ♪ 1586 01:26:49,746 --> 01:26:51,863 ♪ Gosh, it's hot ♪ 1587 01:26:51,957 --> 01:26:55,496 ♪ No, don't turn TV ♪ 1588 01:26:55,585 --> 01:26:56,917 ♪ On ♪ 1589 01:26:57,003 --> 01:27:00,917 ♪ Instead just turn me on ♪ 1590 01:27:01,007 --> 01:27:03,590 ♪ I light up like ♪ 1591 01:27:04,803 --> 01:27:06,419 ♪ Neon ♪ 1592 01:27:06,513 --> 01:27:09,677 ♪ Just a tiny section of your affection ♪ 1593 01:27:09,766 --> 01:27:12,133 ♪ In my direction will do ♪ 1594 01:27:12,227 --> 01:27:13,217 Ooh! 1595 01:27:33,832 --> 01:27:36,540 ♪ You'll just love ♪ 1596 01:27:36,626 --> 01:27:38,492 ♪ My embraces ♪ 1597 01:27:38,587 --> 01:27:41,125 ♪ 'Cause they'll fit ♪ 1598 01:27:41,214 --> 01:27:43,001 ♪ Like a glove ♪ 1599 01:27:43,091 --> 01:27:45,583 ♪ We could get ♪ 1600 01:27:45,677 --> 01:27:47,384 ♪ Down to cases ♪ 1601 01:27:47,471 --> 01:27:49,713 ♪ Maybe ♪ 1602 01:27:50,891 --> 01:27:54,430 ♪ Kiss me, baby ♪ 1603 01:27:55,437 --> 01:27:58,020 ♪ Let's make love ♪ 1604 01:28:04,321 --> 01:28:07,814 ♪ Plan some moonlight trips with me ♪ 1605 01:28:07,908 --> 01:28:10,070 ♪ Come to grips with me ♪ 1606 01:28:10,160 --> 01:28:12,573 ♪ Lips to lips with me ♪ 1607 01:28:12,662 --> 01:28:14,403 ♪ Do Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 1608 01:28:14,498 --> 01:28:17,241 ♪ You'll just love ♪ 1609 01:28:17,334 --> 01:28:19,121 ♪ My embraces ♪ 1610 01:28:19,211 --> 01:28:21,749 ♪ 'Cause they'll fit ♪ 1611 01:28:21,838 --> 01:28:23,670 ♪ Like a glove ♪ 1612 01:28:23,757 --> 01:28:26,249 ♪ We could get ♪ 1613 01:28:26,343 --> 01:28:28,084 ♪ Down to cases ♪ 1614 01:28:28,178 --> 01:28:31,421 ♪ Maybe ♪ 1615 01:28:31,515 --> 01:28:35,885 ♪ Kiss me, baby ♪ 1616 01:28:35,977 --> 01:28:37,218 ♪ Let's make love ♪ 1617 01:28:37,312 --> 01:28:39,520 ♪ My, oh, my ♪ 1618 01:28:39,606 --> 01:28:42,223 - ♪ But it's warm here ♪ - ♪ Let's make love ♪ 1619 01:28:42,317 --> 01:28:46,436 - ♪ I sure wore a tight collar ♪ - ♪ Let's make love ♪ 1620 01:28:46,530 --> 01:28:48,772 - ♪ I may need ♪ - Mmm. 1621 01:28:48,865 --> 01:28:50,447 ♪ A salt tablet ♪ 1622 01:28:50,534 --> 01:28:52,992 ♪ Do you know ♪ 1623 01:28:53,078 --> 01:28:55,411 ♪ A good doctor ♪ 1624 01:28:56,998 --> 01:28:58,489 ♪ Let's ♪ 1625 01:29:01,753 --> 01:29:04,211 ♪ Make love ♪♪ 1626 01:29:09,636 --> 01:29:12,845 If you're getting anywhere, my boy, it's much too slow. 1627 01:29:12,931 --> 01:29:15,014 I feel it. 1628 01:29:15,100 --> 01:29:17,057 I know it. 1629 01:29:17,143 --> 01:29:21,012 I could learn to sing, and that will do it. 1630 01:29:21,106 --> 01:29:22,597 He could be right. 1631 01:29:22,691 --> 01:29:25,434 Between comedians and singers, women always go for singers. 1632 01:29:25,527 --> 01:29:28,486 I know. When I was younger, I appeared in a lot of Broadway shows. 1633 01:29:28,572 --> 01:29:30,438 Some romantic baritone would come along, 1634 01:29:30,532 --> 01:29:33,149 and the girls would start breathing hard. 1635 01:29:33,243 --> 01:29:36,202 Boy, if I had my life to live over again, I'd be a singer. 1636 01:29:36,288 --> 01:29:38,154 You want another teacher? 1637 01:29:38,248 --> 01:29:40,080 - I'll call one. - But the best. 1638 01:29:41,167 --> 01:29:43,284 The guy that I have in mind is the greatest. 1639 01:29:43,378 --> 01:29:44,835 Hello. Operator? 1640 01:29:49,926 --> 01:29:51,542 Oh, good morning, Mr. Crosby. 1641 01:29:51,636 --> 01:29:55,380 Mr. Clement's expecting you. Will you step this way, please? 1642 01:29:55,473 --> 01:29:57,840 Give me a little run on the piano there, Walter. 1643 01:29:59,185 --> 01:30:01,848 Écoutez. Commençons. 1644 01:30:01,938 --> 01:30:04,396 ♪ I'm susceptible to stars ♪ 1645 01:30:04,482 --> 01:30:07,099 ♪ In the skies ♪ 1646 01:30:07,193 --> 01:30:10,186 ♪ I'm susceptible to stars in the skies ♪ 1647 01:30:10,280 --> 01:30:12,693 No, you wanna take that dip down there. That's where the money is. 1648 01:30:12,782 --> 01:30:16,526 ♪ I'm susceptible to stars in the skies ♪ 1649 01:30:16,620 --> 01:30:18,077 Let me hear it. 1650 01:30:18,163 --> 01:30:21,247 ♪ I'm susceptible to stars in the skies ♪ 1651 01:30:21,333 --> 01:30:22,369 Good. 1652 01:30:22,459 --> 01:30:25,702 ♪ I'm incurably romantic ♪ 1653 01:30:27,005 --> 01:30:28,792 ♪ I'm incurably romantic ♪ 1654 01:30:28,882 --> 01:30:30,589 No, romantic's a very big word. 1655 01:30:30,675 --> 01:30:32,962 You want to lay on that. Baste it with a lot of schmaltz. 1656 01:30:33,053 --> 01:30:36,467 ♪ I'm incurably romantic ♪ 1657 01:30:37,515 --> 01:30:40,508 ♪ I'm incurably romantic ♪ 1658 01:30:40,602 --> 01:30:42,559 That's good. That's fine. 1659 01:30:42,646 --> 01:30:43,932 - ♪ Romantic ♪ - Yes. 1660 01:30:44,022 --> 01:30:45,934 - ♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba ♪ - Oh, no, no, no. 1661 01:30:46,024 --> 01:30:48,858 Don't do that around here. You'll get arrested now. 1662 01:30:48,944 --> 01:30:51,857 ♪ If they're told to me all covered with sighs ♪ 1663 01:30:51,947 --> 01:30:54,064 ♪ The wildest of lies seem true ♪ 1664 01:30:54,157 --> 01:30:56,524 You see, you run it all together like that. Keep it moving. 1665 01:30:56,618 --> 01:30:58,484 - All of it? - The whole thing. 1666 01:30:58,578 --> 01:31:00,695 - The breath. - You and I will know you're out of breath, 1667 01:31:00,789 --> 01:31:03,702 but she'll think it's very sexy, you see? 1668 01:31:03,792 --> 01:31:05,078 Let me hear it. 1669 01:31:06,044 --> 01:31:07,034 ♪ If they're ♪ 1670 01:31:07,128 --> 01:31:09,336 ♪ If they're told to me all covered with sighs ♪ 1671 01:31:09,422 --> 01:31:11,584 - ♪ The wildest of lies ♪ - Now a big breath. 1672 01:31:11,675 --> 01:31:14,042 ♪ Seem true ♪ 1673 01:31:14,135 --> 01:31:16,468 Oh, that's reeking with sex. Believe me. 1674 01:31:16,554 --> 01:31:19,092 ♪ Each time a lovebird sings ♪ 1675 01:31:19,182 --> 01:31:20,673 You see, that's showmanship. 1676 01:31:20,767 --> 01:31:22,133 Keeps her mind off your voice. 1677 01:31:22,227 --> 01:31:24,310 ♪ Each time a lovebird sings ♪ 1678 01:31:24,396 --> 01:31:26,137 ♪ Each time a lovebird sings ♪ 1679 01:31:27,691 --> 01:31:29,603 - Can you whistle? - Yes, but the... 1680 01:31:29,693 --> 01:31:32,686 It might be too tricky. It might summon a lot of wildfowl, I guess. 1681 01:31:32,779 --> 01:31:34,315 ♪ I have no defenses ♪ 1682 01:31:34,406 --> 01:31:35,942 ♪ I have no defenses ♪ 1683 01:31:36,032 --> 01:31:37,898 ♪ My heart is off on wings ♪ 1684 01:31:37,993 --> 01:31:39,109 ♪ My heart is... ♪ 1685 01:31:39,202 --> 01:31:42,445 ♪ Along with my senses ♪ 1686 01:31:42,539 --> 01:31:44,952 - ♪ I'm a setup for the moon ♪ - ♪ I'm a setup for the moon ♪ 1687 01:31:45,041 --> 01:31:46,953 ♪ When it's bright ♪ 1688 01:31:47,043 --> 01:31:49,956 ♪ I'm incurably romantic ♪ 1689 01:31:50,046 --> 01:31:52,038 - ♪ If they're told... ♪♪ - Wait, wait, wait, wait. 1690 01:31:52,132 --> 01:31:54,294 Better rest. Save your voice. 1691 01:31:56,469 --> 01:31:59,428 Gee, I hope you kiss better than you can sing, or you're out of business. 1692 01:31:59,514 --> 01:32:02,257 - No good, huh? - Now, if we get you to move a little... 1693 01:32:02,350 --> 01:32:05,434 Dance. Do you dance? 1694 01:32:05,520 --> 01:32:08,012 - No. - No dance, huh? 1695 01:32:08,106 --> 01:32:10,723 Wait a minute. I think I can swing it for you. 1696 01:32:16,948 --> 01:32:18,940 If I can catch this guy, boy, you're a cinch. 1697 01:32:28,543 --> 01:32:30,159 Right, Mr. Kelly? 1698 01:32:30,253 --> 01:32:34,167 Well, the feet are right, Mr. Clement, but we'll have to work on the style. 1699 01:32:34,257 --> 01:32:35,464 On the style? 1700 01:32:35,550 --> 01:32:38,463 Yeah. You-You'll have to, uh... to think... 1701 01:32:38,553 --> 01:32:43,093 I should say... Look, you must express yourself the way an actor does. 1702 01:32:43,183 --> 01:32:44,424 - Actor? - Yes. 1703 01:32:44,517 --> 01:32:48,181 You see, a dancer expresses with his body... 1704 01:32:48,271 --> 01:32:49,933 what an actor does with words. 1705 01:32:50,023 --> 01:32:51,559 - It's not just the feet. - Right. 1706 01:32:51,649 --> 01:32:53,311 You... This dance is what? 1707 01:32:53,401 --> 01:32:55,438 It's romance, it's a courtship, 1708 01:32:55,528 --> 01:32:57,770 and you have to say that with your body. 1709 01:32:57,864 --> 01:32:58,945 You have to... 1710 01:33:01,409 --> 01:33:04,902 You say, "Darling, I love you." 1711 01:33:05,997 --> 01:33:06,987 I see. 1712 01:33:07,082 --> 01:33:09,074 You see, you must think that as you dance. 1713 01:33:09,167 --> 01:33:11,204 Good. I'll try. 1714 01:33:11,961 --> 01:33:13,748 - Darling. - Yes? 1715 01:33:13,838 --> 01:33:16,171 - I love you. - Good. 1716 01:33:16,257 --> 01:33:17,623 Oh, darling... 1717 01:33:23,056 --> 01:33:24,672 I'll try again. 1718 01:33:26,226 --> 01:33:27,342 Darling, 1719 01:33:28,269 --> 01:33:29,635 I love you. 1720 01:33:30,271 --> 01:33:31,933 I love you, darling. 1721 01:33:44,077 --> 01:33:46,194 On the double, everyone. Come on. Over to the piano. 1722 01:33:46,287 --> 01:33:47,323 This is gonna be good news. 1723 01:33:47,413 --> 01:33:49,575 We're gonna run through a new number. 1724 01:33:51,668 --> 01:33:53,660 Come on, kids. Let's go. 1725 01:34:07,016 --> 01:34:10,930 ♪ I'm susceptible to stars ♪ 1726 01:34:11,020 --> 01:34:13,262 Wait a minute. I'm sorry. He's not going to sing it. 1727 01:34:13,356 --> 01:34:14,767 I brought this number for Dumas. 1728 01:34:14,858 --> 01:34:16,440 - Dumas? - Yes. Yes, of course. 1729 01:34:16,526 --> 01:34:21,237 I'm so sorry. Miss Dell, would you be so kind as to try it with Mr. Dumas? 1730 01:34:30,039 --> 01:34:32,122 Well, this is a surprise. 1731 01:34:32,208 --> 01:34:33,699 Let's go, kids. 1732 01:34:35,753 --> 01:34:38,336 - I hope I didn't ruin it for you. - It's not your fault. 1733 01:34:38,423 --> 01:34:40,255 Kids, this is a very expensive number. 1734 01:34:40,341 --> 01:34:43,800 Let's do it proud. 1735 01:34:46,556 --> 01:34:51,676 ♪ I'm susceptible to stars in the skies ♪ 1736 01:34:51,769 --> 01:34:55,308 ♪ I'm incurably romantic ♪ 1737 01:34:56,608 --> 01:35:00,227 ♪ If they're told to me all covered with sighs ♪ 1738 01:35:00,320 --> 01:35:02,437 ♪ The wildest of lies ♪ 1739 01:35:02,530 --> 01:35:04,738 ♪ Seem true ♪ 1740 01:35:05,909 --> 01:35:09,528 ♪ Each time a lovebird sings ♪ 1741 01:35:10,371 --> 01:35:13,660 ♪ I have no defenses ♪ 1742 01:35:13,750 --> 01:35:17,664 ♪ My heart is off on wings ♪ 1743 01:35:17,754 --> 01:35:19,336 ♪ Along with my... ♪ 1744 01:35:19,422 --> 01:35:22,586 The spirit of this song is intimacy. Real intimacy. 1745 01:35:22,675 --> 01:35:24,712 - ♪ I'm a setup for the moon ♪ - Put your arms around him. 1746 01:35:24,802 --> 01:35:26,464 - ♪ When it's bright ♪ - Closer to him. 1747 01:35:26,554 --> 01:35:29,342 - Drape yourself over him. - ♪ I'm incurably romantic ♪ 1748 01:35:29,432 --> 01:35:31,139 Melt together. 1749 01:35:31,226 --> 01:35:33,183 - ♪ And I shouldn't be allowed ♪ - Your mouth... Closer to his cheek. 1750 01:35:33,269 --> 01:35:35,306 - ♪ Out at night ♪ - Kiss him. Just a small one. 1751 01:35:35,396 --> 01:35:39,766 - ♪ With anyone quite like you ♪ - Now another. Good. 1752 01:35:39,859 --> 01:35:43,978 - ♪ But, oh, your arms are nice ♪ - Now nuzzle him. 1753 01:35:44,072 --> 01:35:48,612 ♪ And it would be awfully nice ♪ 1754 01:35:49,202 --> 01:35:50,693 Uh... 1755 01:35:51,537 --> 01:35:53,119 Hold it. 1756 01:35:53,206 --> 01:35:55,072 What's the matter? 1757 01:35:57,252 --> 01:35:59,118 - Matter? - You're freezing. 1758 01:36:00,255 --> 01:36:01,837 Just relax. 1759 01:36:03,132 --> 01:36:05,875 - I'm sorry. I... - You've met Miss Dell, haven't you? 1760 01:36:05,969 --> 01:36:08,586 - Yes, I have. - Well, let her get at you. 1761 01:36:10,473 --> 01:36:12,681 - All right. - Until your last line. 1762 01:36:12,767 --> 01:36:17,057 Then you kiss her... Strong. Mean it. 1763 01:36:17,146 --> 01:36:19,058 Make her know it. 1764 01:36:19,148 --> 01:36:21,140 You can do that, can't you? 1765 01:36:22,360 --> 01:36:23,976 I'll try my very best. 1766 01:36:25,822 --> 01:36:27,734 Well, let's start again. 1767 01:36:30,910 --> 01:36:35,746 ♪ But, oh Your arms are nice ♪ 1768 01:36:35,832 --> 01:36:39,872 ♪ And it would be awfully nice ♪ 1769 01:36:41,129 --> 01:36:46,249 ♪ If you turned out to be ♪ 1770 01:36:46,342 --> 01:36:52,134 ♪ Starry-eyed like me ♪ 1771 01:36:52,932 --> 01:36:55,015 ♪ And ♪ 1772 01:36:56,394 --> 01:36:59,057 ♪ Incurably ♪ 1773 01:37:00,356 --> 01:37:03,349 ♪ Romantic ♪ 1774 01:37:04,527 --> 01:37:07,691 ♪ Too ♪♪ 1775 01:37:10,700 --> 01:37:13,238 That's not bad. You've got the general idea. 1776 01:37:13,328 --> 01:37:15,365 We'll rehearse the rest again later. 1777 01:37:29,635 --> 01:37:31,672 Well, now we're getting somewhere. 1778 01:37:36,017 --> 01:37:38,350 May I take you to dinner tonight? 1779 01:37:38,436 --> 01:37:40,519 We're rehearsing tonight. 1780 01:37:40,605 --> 01:37:43,313 I've never met such a difficult girl to feed. 1781 01:37:48,404 --> 01:37:50,396 You know what this stuff does to you. 1782 01:37:50,490 --> 01:37:53,528 You tryin' to kill yourself? Is this what I sat up nights with you for? 1783 01:37:53,618 --> 01:37:55,405 With cold towels on your head? 1784 01:37:55,495 --> 01:37:58,408 Everybody said I was crazy to hire you, but I believed. I believed. 1785 01:37:58,498 --> 01:38:00,911 And look what you're trying to do to yourself! 1786 01:38:01,000 --> 01:38:02,787 Don't yell at him. 1787 01:38:03,795 --> 01:38:05,912 He's starting with this again. 1788 01:38:06,964 --> 01:38:09,798 - Don't! Give me that. - Tony, stop. 1789 01:38:09,884 --> 01:38:11,716 You don't need that stuff anymore. 1790 01:38:11,803 --> 01:38:14,341 Come on now. Just because you had a tough break... 1791 01:38:14,430 --> 01:38:18,014 No! No, kid. It's normal... for me. 1792 01:38:18,101 --> 01:38:20,218 I see it all now. 1793 01:38:20,311 --> 01:38:22,724 Three shows on the road before this, I had great numbers. 1794 01:38:22,814 --> 01:38:25,227 All three closed out of town. 1795 01:38:25,316 --> 01:38:27,353 I did my job. Everybody said I was great. 1796 01:38:27,443 --> 01:38:29,184 Nobody gets to see me. 1797 01:38:29,278 --> 01:38:31,645 Well, now, finally I got the message. I've had it. 1798 01:38:31,739 --> 01:38:34,152 - But it's not your fault. - That's just it. 1799 01:38:34,242 --> 01:38:36,529 Forget it, Mandy. I want out. 1800 01:38:37,412 --> 01:38:38,948 How do you get out? 1801 01:38:39,038 --> 01:38:40,654 You say "I quit"? That's not out. 1802 01:38:41,290 --> 01:38:44,078 Tony, you're an actor, so wherever you go, whatever you do... 1803 01:38:44,168 --> 01:38:45,704 Yeah, how do you leave it behind? 1804 01:38:46,712 --> 01:38:48,328 No. 1805 01:38:48,423 --> 01:38:50,380 I don't leave it behind. 1806 01:38:50,466 --> 01:38:53,004 Look, I know I can do the number better than he can. 1807 01:38:53,094 --> 01:38:54,710 All I'm asking for is a chance. 1808 01:38:54,804 --> 01:38:58,138 I'm entitled to show them what I can do with it, but they won't even give me that. 1809 01:38:59,642 --> 01:39:02,055 It's not fair. He should have had a chance at the number. 1810 01:39:02,145 --> 01:39:03,477 He's entitled to that. 1811 01:39:03,563 --> 01:39:05,179 That backer won't listen. What can I do? 1812 01:39:05,273 --> 01:39:07,105 What can you do? How about trying to make him listen? 1813 01:39:07,191 --> 01:39:09,353 - Look, I believe you deserve... - If you believe it, then do it! 1814 01:39:09,444 --> 01:39:12,107 How? He's got control now. 1815 01:39:13,448 --> 01:39:16,907 I'll go out to dinner with Alex. I'll keep him out for an extra half hour. 1816 01:39:16,993 --> 01:39:20,077 Meantime, Tony, you can show Mr. Welch what you can do. 1817 01:39:20,163 --> 01:39:22,906 Honey, how do I get the man to listen? 1818 01:39:22,999 --> 01:39:26,413 How? Put him on the stage as soon as I leave. 1819 01:39:26,502 --> 01:39:29,085 The man's not gonna walk out of the theater. He's gotta listen. 1820 01:39:29,172 --> 01:39:30,959 I can use Lily. She knows the song. 1821 01:39:31,048 --> 01:39:32,914 - Good. - All right. 1822 01:39:33,009 --> 01:39:34,625 We'll give it a try. 1823 01:39:34,719 --> 01:39:36,381 Come on, now. 1824 01:39:47,273 --> 01:39:50,186 An old Chinese toast would be appropriate. 1825 01:40:02,163 --> 01:40:04,871 "May our children like each other." 1826 01:40:04,957 --> 01:40:07,290 Is that all? The Chinese is longer. 1827 01:40:07,376 --> 01:40:09,959 "Or else we'll have a noisy home." 1828 01:40:14,300 --> 01:40:16,542 How many languages do you speak? 1829 01:40:17,678 --> 01:40:19,214 Five or six. 1830 01:40:20,515 --> 01:40:23,553 Listen, don't worry about the check. We'll go halves, okay? 1831 01:40:24,727 --> 01:40:26,468 Thank you very much, 1832 01:40:26,562 --> 01:40:29,270 but I have quite enough to pay for this. 1833 01:40:30,650 --> 01:40:32,266 I am very happy, Amanda. 1834 01:40:32,360 --> 01:40:35,478 I understand tonight why I was born. 1835 01:40:35,571 --> 01:40:37,062 That's nice. 1836 01:40:38,074 --> 01:40:40,657 Um, couldn't you get a better job, 1837 01:40:40,743 --> 01:40:42,405 speaking all those languages? 1838 01:40:42,495 --> 01:40:44,908 Someday you must go to France. 1839 01:40:44,997 --> 01:40:46,829 This time of year the sky over Paris... 1840 01:40:46,916 --> 01:40:49,203 is exactly the color of your eyes. 1841 01:40:52,255 --> 01:40:54,247 Do you mind if I say something personal? 1842 01:40:54,340 --> 01:40:56,206 Not at all. 1843 01:40:56,300 --> 01:40:58,838 Maybe you're not ambitious enough. 1844 01:40:58,928 --> 01:41:01,636 Because now that I know you... 1845 01:41:02,682 --> 01:41:06,972 For instance, the United Nations, or, uh, the State Department. 1846 01:41:07,061 --> 01:41:08,677 They could use you, I bet. 1847 01:41:08,771 --> 01:41:12,264 Or some big business where you deal with people from all over. 1848 01:41:12,358 --> 01:41:14,441 You have a way about you, you know. 1849 01:41:14,527 --> 01:41:16,018 What way? 1850 01:41:16,112 --> 01:41:20,152 Well, not elegant, exactly, but kind of, um, 1851 01:41:20,241 --> 01:41:21,277 dignified. 1852 01:41:21,909 --> 01:41:25,823 I say it because every once in a while, I can't place you. 1853 01:41:26,706 --> 01:41:28,698 I think that's because you're in the wrong line of work. 1854 01:41:30,459 --> 01:41:32,416 Have you always been a jewelry salesman? 1855 01:41:33,045 --> 01:41:36,129 No. Not always. 1856 01:41:38,801 --> 01:41:40,633 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. 1857 01:41:40,720 --> 01:41:43,133 Please, don't be uneasy. 1858 01:41:44,390 --> 01:41:46,632 It's all right. Let's have some more wine. 1859 01:41:46,726 --> 01:41:48,092 Amanda, I'm in love with you. 1860 01:41:50,187 --> 01:41:51,268 Now, Alex... 1861 01:41:51,355 --> 01:41:53,722 I've never said this in my life. 1862 01:41:54,984 --> 01:41:56,771 Amanda, I want to marry you. 1863 01:41:58,696 --> 01:42:00,562 Alex... 1864 01:42:00,656 --> 01:42:02,272 What do you say to me? 1865 01:42:04,785 --> 01:42:06,492 Then you're not married? 1866 01:42:06,579 --> 01:42:09,697 Married? Why did you think... 1867 01:42:09,790 --> 01:42:13,283 You never said anything about yourself, so what was I to think? 1868 01:42:13,377 --> 01:42:16,711 I'm not married, and have never been married. 1869 01:42:16,797 --> 01:42:19,631 Darling, only your feeling is important. 1870 01:42:20,843 --> 01:42:22,709 What do you feel for me? 1871 01:42:22,803 --> 01:42:24,760 - I must know that. - Was it something terrible? 1872 01:42:25,514 --> 01:42:27,096 What are you imagining? 1873 01:42:27,183 --> 01:42:30,426 Well, I... I've done some things in my life... 1874 01:42:30,519 --> 01:42:33,182 it's very painful to talk about. 1875 01:42:33,272 --> 01:42:34,353 No. 1876 01:42:34,940 --> 01:42:36,181 No, darling. 1877 01:42:37,068 --> 01:42:39,025 But people have to trust each other. 1878 01:42:39,111 --> 01:42:42,070 Darling, I do trust you more than anyone in my life. 1879 01:42:42,823 --> 01:42:45,190 And now I will tell you everything. 1880 01:42:47,370 --> 01:42:49,282 What is it? 1881 01:42:49,372 --> 01:42:51,034 I have to apologize. 1882 01:42:51,123 --> 01:42:53,615 Here I am asking you to trust me, and all this time... 1883 01:42:53,709 --> 01:42:55,621 I'm playing an awful, dirty trick on you. 1884 01:42:55,711 --> 01:42:57,122 Me? 1885 01:42:57,963 --> 01:43:01,297 I brought you here to give Tony his chance at your number. 1886 01:43:04,303 --> 01:43:07,296 - I see. - He's doing it for Mr. Welch now. 1887 01:43:09,141 --> 01:43:12,009 - We can go if you like. - Of course, if you like. 1888 01:43:14,230 --> 01:43:17,223 I am very sorry that I came into your life too late. 1889 01:43:18,818 --> 01:43:20,434 I hope you'll be very happy. 1890 01:43:21,445 --> 01:43:23,562 Oh, I didn't mean that. 1891 01:43:23,656 --> 01:43:26,023 I only wanted Tony to have his chance. 1892 01:43:26,117 --> 01:43:30,157 Acting for you is just an extra job, but for him, it's his life. 1893 01:43:30,246 --> 01:43:32,078 Please, darling, sit down. 1894 01:43:32,915 --> 01:43:34,702 Sit down. 1895 01:43:34,792 --> 01:43:37,079 I hope you're not mad, because I like you, Alex. 1896 01:43:38,921 --> 01:43:40,412 You do? 1897 01:43:41,465 --> 01:43:43,297 Oh, my darling girl, marry me. 1898 01:43:43,884 --> 01:43:45,125 I adore you. 1899 01:43:45,219 --> 01:43:46,209 But... 1900 01:43:46,303 --> 01:43:49,137 Very well. I won't torture you any longer. 1901 01:43:50,015 --> 01:43:52,098 I am not a jewelry salesman at all. 1902 01:43:52,184 --> 01:43:53,800 I am a very wealthy man. 1903 01:43:54,729 --> 01:43:56,436 As a matter of fact... 1904 01:43:57,773 --> 01:43:59,389 I am Jean-Marc Clement. 1905 01:43:59,483 --> 01:44:00,940 Ha. 1906 01:44:01,026 --> 01:44:03,359 You don't believe it? 1907 01:44:03,446 --> 01:44:05,062 Come on. Let's get some air. 1908 01:44:05,156 --> 01:44:06,818 I'm not fooling you! 1909 01:44:07,408 --> 01:44:10,901 You see, the other day my public relations man came in my office... 1910 01:44:10,995 --> 01:44:13,738 - Your what? - Amanda, I am Jean-Marc Clement. 1911 01:44:14,707 --> 01:44:17,415 You see, I had just returned from the Hong Kong office the other day, 1912 01:44:17,501 --> 01:44:19,538 and my public relations man said to me, "I read in the... 1913 01:44:19,628 --> 01:44:20,664 I've got my... I left... 1914 01:44:20,755 --> 01:44:22,712 in the Variety"... 1915 01:44:22,798 --> 01:44:24,255 - I-I didn't even... - In the very... 1916 01:44:24,341 --> 01:44:25,457 Ooh! 1917 01:44:25,551 --> 01:44:26,541 Amanda! 1918 01:44:27,386 --> 01:44:28,877 Amanda! 1919 01:44:28,971 --> 01:44:32,055 Amanda! I'm a billionaire! 1920 01:44:32,141 --> 01:44:37,887 ♪♪ ♪ I'm incurably romantic ♪ 1921 01:44:37,980 --> 01:44:39,846 ♪ And I... ♪♪ 1922 01:44:44,487 --> 01:44:47,355 Mr. Welch, could we wait a minute so I can do it with Miss Dell? 1923 01:44:47,448 --> 01:44:48,905 It's really her number. 1924 01:44:48,991 --> 01:44:51,404 I don't see what difference it can possibly make. 1925 01:44:59,919 --> 01:45:01,626 Amanda. 1926 01:45:04,173 --> 01:45:06,460 - Amanda. - Go away. I'm getting into my costume. 1927 01:45:06,550 --> 01:45:08,041 Now, listen to me. 1928 01:45:08,135 --> 01:45:10,593 The other day I came here with my public relations... 1929 01:45:10,679 --> 01:45:13,592 Darling. I am Jean-Marc Clement. 1930 01:45:13,682 --> 01:45:16,220 Oh, don't say that again. You don't have to be Clement. 1931 01:45:16,310 --> 01:45:18,347 But I do have to be. I can't help it. 1932 01:45:18,437 --> 01:45:20,099 I saw you, I wanted you, 1933 01:45:20,189 --> 01:45:22,306 and before I knew it, I was Alexander Dumas. 1934 01:45:22,399 --> 01:45:24,140 You know what I did? 1935 01:45:24,235 --> 01:45:26,943 I got Bing Crosby to work with me on a song. 1936 01:45:27,029 --> 01:45:29,988 I paid Milton Berle, and Gene Kelly too and... 1937 01:45:30,074 --> 01:45:32,908 - Oh, darling. - Yes? 1938 01:45:32,993 --> 01:45:35,110 - It's all my fault. - Yes. 1939 01:45:35,204 --> 01:45:36,411 - Come in. - Yes. 1940 01:45:36,497 --> 01:45:37,658 - Lie down. - Yes. 1941 01:45:42,962 --> 01:45:46,455 I told you to get into the character and that's wonderful, 1942 01:45:46,549 --> 01:45:48,711 but now you've got to get out. 1943 01:45:48,801 --> 01:45:50,383 Amanda, you'll drive me crazy. 1944 01:45:50,469 --> 01:45:52,631 Don't say that. Relax. 1945 01:45:53,806 --> 01:45:56,093 It'll all go away. 1946 01:45:56,183 --> 01:45:59,142 Listen. There used to be an actor. 1947 01:45:59,228 --> 01:46:01,971 He played Abraham Lincoln for so many years... 1948 01:46:02,064 --> 01:46:03,646 This is true. 1949 01:46:03,732 --> 01:46:05,894 He grew his own beard. 1950 01:46:05,985 --> 01:46:08,102 He went around in a shawl. 1951 01:46:08,195 --> 01:46:10,107 And you know what they used to say? 1952 01:46:10,197 --> 01:46:13,315 "He looks like Lincoln, he talks like Lincoln, 1953 01:46:13,409 --> 01:46:15,901 but he won't be satisfied till he gets shot." 1954 01:46:16,537 --> 01:46:17,994 I'll prove it to you. 1955 01:46:18,080 --> 01:46:20,788 That doesn't matter. You don't have to be a rich man. 1956 01:46:22,167 --> 01:46:23,157 No? 1957 01:46:23,794 --> 01:46:25,831 If you mean what you say. 1958 01:46:26,797 --> 01:46:28,959 Money doesn't mean anything to me. 1959 01:46:29,049 --> 01:46:30,039 I get jobs. 1960 01:46:30,801 --> 01:46:32,793 Forget all that, will you? 1961 01:46:34,054 --> 01:46:36,216 Oh, my dear girl. 1962 01:46:36,765 --> 01:46:39,382 How long I have waited to hear that. 1963 01:46:40,394 --> 01:46:41,510 I'm so glad. 1964 01:46:48,527 --> 01:46:50,359 I'm so glad. 1965 01:46:51,780 --> 01:46:53,271 Now tell me. 1966 01:46:53,365 --> 01:46:54,822 Who are you? 1967 01:46:57,870 --> 01:47:00,988 Amanda, I am Jean-Marc Clement. 1968 01:47:01,081 --> 01:47:04,495 Now, look. Enough's enough, Alexander. 1969 01:47:04,585 --> 01:47:07,749 Okay, call Berle. Call Gene Kelly. Call Bing Crosby! Come on. 1970 01:47:07,838 --> 01:47:10,421 Sure. I'll go right out and get 'em on the phone. 1971 01:47:10,507 --> 01:47:13,124 You get a kick out of this, whoever you are. 1972 01:47:13,802 --> 01:47:17,216 I can't stand anyone who makes fun of me. 1973 01:47:17,306 --> 01:47:18,968 Can I be of any assistance? 1974 01:47:19,058 --> 01:47:20,390 - George. - What? 1975 01:47:20,476 --> 01:47:22,468 - Tell her who I am. - Who you are? Certainly. 1976 01:47:22,561 --> 01:47:24,644 - He's Alexander Dumas. - No, George! 1977 01:47:25,189 --> 01:47:26,771 Tell her the truth. 1978 01:47:26,857 --> 01:47:27,847 - The truth? - Yes. 1979 01:47:27,942 --> 01:47:29,558 Oh, I beg your pardon. That's different. 1980 01:47:29,652 --> 01:47:34,397 - Actually, he's Jean-Marc... - Marc Clement! 1981 01:47:34,490 --> 01:47:35,947 What? 1982 01:47:36,033 --> 01:47:39,117 Who are you? King Farouk, I suppose. 1983 01:47:39,995 --> 01:47:44,831 I hope you both enjoyed it. It's true what they say... There's no comedians left! 1984 01:47:45,334 --> 01:47:46,996 But... That... 1985 01:48:01,016 --> 01:48:05,010 ♪ I'm susceptible ♪ 1986 01:48:05,104 --> 01:48:10,725 ♪ To stars in the skies ♪ 1987 01:48:10,818 --> 01:48:17,065 ♪ I'm incurably romantic ♪ 1988 01:48:17,157 --> 01:48:20,741 ♪ If they're told to me ♪ 1989 01:48:20,828 --> 01:48:24,412 ♪ All covered with sighs ♪ 1990 01:48:24,498 --> 01:48:27,206 ♪ The wildest of lies ♪ 1991 01:48:27,292 --> 01:48:30,160 ♪ Seem true ♪ 1992 01:48:31,714 --> 01:48:36,926 ♪ Each time a lovebird sings ♪ 1993 01:48:37,011 --> 01:48:42,882 ♪ I have no defenses ♪ 1994 01:48:42,975 --> 01:48:48,437 ♪ My heart is off on wings ♪ 1995 01:48:48,522 --> 01:48:53,187 ♪ Along with my senses ♪ 1996 01:48:53,277 --> 01:48:59,239 ♪ I'm a setup for the moon when it's bright ♪ 1997 01:48:59,324 --> 01:49:04,786 ♪ I'm incurably romantic ♪ 1998 01:49:04,872 --> 01:49:09,708 ♪ And I shouldn't be allowed out at night ♪ 1999 01:49:09,793 --> 01:49:15,414 ♪ With anyone quite like you ♪ 2000 01:49:16,800 --> 01:49:23,513 ♪ But, oh, your arms are nice ♪ 2001 01:49:24,600 --> 01:49:27,434 ♪ And it would be awfully nice ♪ 2002 01:49:27,519 --> 01:49:30,557 Is it too much to ask whether I like his performance? 2003 01:49:30,647 --> 01:49:33,230 Of course you like it. That's not the problem. 2004 01:49:33,317 --> 01:49:37,357 ♪ Turned out to be ♪ 2005 01:49:37,446 --> 01:49:43,989 ♪ Starry-eyed like me ♪ 2006 01:49:44,787 --> 01:49:49,407 ♪ And incurably ♪ 2007 01:49:49,500 --> 01:49:56,498 ♪ Romantic ♪ 2008 01:49:57,800 --> 01:50:00,258 ♪ Too ♪♪ 2009 01:50:02,471 --> 01:50:03,837 Listen. 2010 01:50:03,931 --> 01:50:06,173 Get an injunction to close the show. 2011 01:50:07,518 --> 01:50:09,305 Invasion of privacy. 2012 01:50:16,735 --> 01:50:18,727 I don't know... 2013 01:50:19,905 --> 01:50:22,397 He can't do this. It's impossible. 2014 01:50:22,491 --> 01:50:24,904 Obviously he can, my dear. This is a very legal document. 2015 01:50:24,993 --> 01:50:27,406 Brother! This is the end. The story of my life. 2016 01:50:27,496 --> 01:50:29,658 I guess you'll have to cut the "Specialization" number. 2017 01:50:29,748 --> 01:50:32,832 You can't cut that. It's a wonderful number. 2018 01:50:32,918 --> 01:50:34,250 Oh, I love that number. 2019 01:50:34,336 --> 01:50:36,123 Yes, but he resents the ridicule. 2020 01:50:36,213 --> 01:50:39,047 We'll get a lawyer. Who is he? Hitler? 2021 01:50:39,133 --> 01:50:40,715 Excuse me. 2022 01:50:40,801 --> 01:50:42,588 I have a suggestion. 2023 01:50:42,678 --> 01:50:44,419 For every lawyer you get, 2024 01:50:44,513 --> 01:50:46,175 Mr. Clement will have five. 2025 01:50:46,265 --> 01:50:47,472 That's not good. 2026 01:50:47,558 --> 01:50:50,266 - You have a much better weapon. - What's that? 2027 01:50:50,352 --> 01:50:53,015 The one thing Clement cannot resist... 2028 01:50:53,105 --> 01:50:54,312 a beautiful woman. 2029 01:50:54,398 --> 01:50:55,559 Say now. 2030 01:50:55,649 --> 01:50:58,141 If Miss Dell would pay him a visit, 2031 01:50:58,235 --> 01:51:00,602 I feel sure she could charm him. 2032 01:51:00,696 --> 01:51:02,608 Charm him? I could murder him. 2033 01:51:02,698 --> 01:51:04,690 He'll adore you. I'm sure. 2034 01:51:04,783 --> 01:51:08,276 What about that, Amanda? Maybe if you told him what the show was really like... 2035 01:51:08,370 --> 01:51:11,454 I think it would be a good idea, young man, if you went along too. 2036 01:51:11,540 --> 01:51:13,247 After all, they're both French, you know. 2037 01:51:13,333 --> 01:51:14,995 That's right. They both of 'em are French. 2038 01:51:15,085 --> 01:51:17,168 I would be glad to help if I can. 2039 01:51:17,254 --> 01:51:18,790 Try it, will ya, Amanda? 2040 01:51:18,881 --> 01:51:21,624 There's no time to fight him in court if we're gonna open tonight. 2041 01:51:21,717 --> 01:51:23,879 But I'm not going alone with him or his friend here. 2042 01:51:23,969 --> 01:51:25,835 No, honey, we'll all go. 2043 01:51:25,929 --> 01:51:27,670 Come on. I'll try to make an appointment. 2044 01:51:27,764 --> 01:51:29,847 I think it might be better if I made the call. 2045 01:51:29,933 --> 01:51:32,016 Swell! You can tell him in French. 2046 01:52:02,758 --> 01:52:05,091 - Good morning, sir. - Good morning. 2047 01:52:07,429 --> 01:52:08,715 We want to see Mr. Clement. 2048 01:52:12,226 --> 01:52:14,639 We're from the Let's Make Love company. It's very important. 2049 01:52:23,654 --> 01:52:26,112 What's the matter with her? 2050 01:52:26,198 --> 01:52:28,281 Did I say something? 2051 01:52:29,910 --> 01:52:32,448 Hey, what's the matter with you? 2052 01:52:32,537 --> 01:52:34,199 Won't you come in? 2053 01:52:35,874 --> 01:52:38,036 She didn't say it's all right though, did she? 2054 01:52:38,126 --> 01:52:39,617 No. 2055 01:52:57,062 --> 01:52:59,054 - Good morning, sir. - Good morning. 2056 01:53:02,150 --> 01:53:03,982 We want to see Mr. Clement. Is he in? 2057 01:53:07,990 --> 01:53:09,276 Yes, miss. 2058 01:53:10,993 --> 01:53:13,360 I suppose we may as well go in. 2059 01:53:36,184 --> 01:53:39,222 What is this? A war of nerves? 2060 01:53:47,112 --> 01:53:48,319 Alex! 2061 01:53:49,114 --> 01:53:51,026 You can't sit there. 2062 01:53:52,993 --> 01:53:55,155 You can't look through his mail! 2063 01:53:56,455 --> 01:53:58,071 I'll do the mail now. 2064 01:54:00,542 --> 01:54:02,909 You've got to see a doctor. 2065 01:54:03,003 --> 01:54:05,996 Come. We gotta get outta here. 2066 01:54:06,089 --> 01:54:09,332 Come. Come quietly. Quietly. 2067 01:54:09,426 --> 01:54:11,338 We gotta get outta he... 2068 01:54:14,264 --> 01:54:16,347 - Good morning. - Bonjour, monsieur. 2069 01:54:22,189 --> 01:54:25,728 To Dottore Gina Martinelli, Milano. 2070 01:54:45,545 --> 01:54:47,332 Jean-Marc Clement. 2071 01:54:49,508 --> 01:54:51,795 Why don't you sit down? This won't take long. 2072 01:54:53,387 --> 01:54:56,755 No, sir. I won't. 2073 01:54:59,059 --> 01:55:00,220 That will be all. 2074 01:55:01,436 --> 01:55:04,019 Please, darling. Darling. 2075 01:55:04,106 --> 01:55:06,268 There was no other way. 2076 01:55:08,110 --> 01:55:09,601 You... 2077 01:55:11,238 --> 01:55:12,695 Shame on you! 2078 01:55:12,781 --> 01:55:13,942 Please understand. 2079 01:55:14,032 --> 01:55:16,866 Letting me go on and on like a fool... 2080 01:55:16,952 --> 01:55:19,069 when you knew how I felt about you. 2081 01:55:19,162 --> 01:55:20,824 I... I apologize. I beg you. 2082 01:55:20,914 --> 01:55:24,078 Darling! Forgive me, darling. I beg you. 2083 01:55:24,167 --> 01:55:28,582 But look... Look what happened the moment you knew who I was. 2084 01:55:28,672 --> 01:55:30,880 Even you were impressed. Admit it. 2085 01:55:30,966 --> 01:55:33,629 You no longer saw me. You saw only power. 2086 01:55:34,386 --> 01:55:37,550 Really, I've never been so humiliated in my life. 2087 01:55:38,557 --> 01:55:40,924 The least you could have done is tell me who you are. 2088 01:55:41,017 --> 01:55:42,098 I did tell you. 2089 01:55:42,185 --> 01:55:44,893 - How did you expect me to believe it? - Because it was true. 2090 01:55:44,980 --> 01:55:46,721 That's no excuse. 2091 01:55:47,774 --> 01:55:49,731 Listen, darling. Listen. 2092 01:55:49,818 --> 01:55:53,152 And I never want to see you again as long as I live! 2093 01:55:53,238 --> 01:55:55,025 Amanda. 2094 01:55:56,992 --> 01:55:58,483 Amanda! 2095 01:56:08,336 --> 01:56:13,798 Amanda... Amanda, darling, listen to me. 2096 01:56:15,302 --> 01:56:18,591 I ask you to stop the elevator and come back. 2097 01:56:18,680 --> 01:56:20,717 I will not. 2098 01:56:20,807 --> 01:56:23,174 I'm up here on the top of the world, Amanda, 2099 01:56:23,268 --> 01:56:26,602 but my soul is going down to the street with you, 2100 01:56:26,688 --> 01:56:30,602 so I beg you to understand that I must stop the elevator. 2101 01:56:30,692 --> 01:56:32,308 Brace yourself, darling. 2102 01:56:32,402 --> 01:56:34,439 You will not stop... 2103 01:56:47,042 --> 01:56:50,877 And don't think you're going to charm your way out of this... 2104 01:56:51,796 --> 01:56:53,332 What a life! 2105 01:56:53,423 --> 01:56:57,133 And all the time I'm trying to figure out how to buy you a square meal. 2106 01:56:57,219 --> 01:57:00,758 How could you bear watching me make a fool out of myself? 2107 01:57:00,847 --> 01:57:04,261 ♪ Here we stand ♪ 2108 01:57:04,351 --> 01:57:06,263 ♪ And we argue ♪ 2109 01:57:06,353 --> 01:57:09,471 - ♪ What are we ♪ - Alexander Dumas. 2110 01:57:09,564 --> 01:57:12,307 - ♪ Thinking of ♪ - The Three Musketeers. 2111 01:57:12,400 --> 01:57:14,392 ♪ Let's not make ♪ 2112 01:57:14,486 --> 01:57:16,569 ♪ With the pfft, pfft ♪ 2113 01:57:16,655 --> 01:57:18,942 ♪ Baby ♪ 2114 01:57:19,991 --> 01:57:22,779 - Faker. - ♪ Let's make love ♪ 2115 01:57:23,662 --> 01:57:26,405 Why do I like you? 2116 01:57:26,498 --> 01:57:29,582 ♪ You'll just love ♪ 2117 01:57:29,668 --> 01:57:31,751 ♪ My embraces ♪ 2118 01:57:31,836 --> 01:57:34,704 ♪ 'Cause they'll fit ♪ 2119 01:57:34,798 --> 01:57:36,915 ♪ Like a glove ♪ 2120 01:57:37,008 --> 01:57:39,671 ♪ We could get ♪ 2121 01:57:39,761 --> 01:57:41,593 ♪ Down to cases ♪ 2122 01:57:41,680 --> 01:57:44,423 ♪ Maybe ♪ 2123 01:57:45,809 --> 01:57:49,769 ♪ Kiss me, baby ♪ 2124 01:57:59,364 --> 01:58:03,654 My. Oh, my. It's warm here. 2125 01:58:03,743 --> 01:58:06,656 ♪ Let's make love ♪ 2126 01:58:06,746 --> 01:58:08,738 Should I still get my diploma? 2127 01:58:08,832 --> 01:58:10,323 ♪ Let's make love ♪ 2128 01:58:12,085 --> 01:58:13,075 Oh, darling. 2129 01:58:13,169 --> 01:58:16,207 Will they be surprised at night school. 2130 01:58:30,186 --> 01:58:32,178 Subtitled by Captions, Inc. 159831