Original subtitles

Do you know where Rue St. Honor�, is?

Yes, I do...

I'm constantly getting lost in my own neighborhood!

Take the first street on your left

then the first or second...

second on your right, then...

Unless... There are four squares...

First left and second right? I understand.

Thanks very much. Goodbye.

It could be her.

You've reached Albert Jeanjean. Leave a message after the beep.

It won't be long now. Here it comes, with its little satchel.

It puts it down and let's out a squeal...

I'm the director of Monday's shoot in Toulouse.

Otto has the train tickets.

Remember to do wild-tracks of ostrich sounds

Saturday at the zoo.

Your contact is Mr. Loingeboeuil.

Record something powerful and full-bodied.

So long... See you on Monday.

It's Fran�ois. I'll give you back your boom...

Who's this girl with a Pekinese

who you hope to find by volunteering at the polls?

I don't get it. Fill me in later. So long.

Sunday's "Humanity"?

Come in.

Come in!

Thank you... Help yourself.

Has voted.

329. Mr. Ducot de Saint Gely. Xavier.

16-12-1962.

Has voted. It's a slow start.

- How are you, Mayor? - Fine.

102.

Mr. Beaubien. Bruno.

Born the 4-4-1947.

Has voted.

Hello, Mayor.

- How are you? - Fine, thank you. Sign here.

The Mayor's an old pro.

I guess you could say that.

Has voted.

Sir! Please state your name.

R�mi Cruquet.

Cast your vote.

Mr. Cruquet. R�mi. Born the 25-11-1963.

Has voted.

Sign here.

What is Albert Jeanjean up to?

- Hi there, Cruquet. - Hi, Albert.

- My daughter, Indira. - Your daughter?

My big baby!

Come over here... Excuse us, sir.

Seen any of the old gang? Perotte? Sporovitch?

Remember Forain? The clown with those chubby cheeks...

He's dead.

Forain's dead?

Tough luck...

Let's try once more to meet for dinner.

I'd like that.

And for one of my political meetings.

- Good idea. - Friday at 10.

Okay. Friday at 10. That should be...

I'll call you.

Give me a call. Have a safe trip...

I have a long way to go. So long, Albert...

- It'll get busy after mass. - Really?

That pin of yours... is it political?

Not at all.

It's purely decorative.

Because we are forced to dismiss

anyone whose words or dress suggest adherence to a political party.

Make our lives easier.

Your timing's not great.

- You said you needed it. - Not here.

- Did Miss Pekinese come? - Not yet.

- Aren't you voting? - Yes, I am.

I won't waste paper. Beaubien is all I need.

- Your registration card. - Of course...

- One for each candidate. - Ljust need Beaubien.

Keep your opinions to yourself!

The voting booth is mandatory.

Get out of my sight.

Hide yourself! Pull the curtain!

My friend's a little...

That's no reason to bypass the booth!

Jesus! There was no rush.

At least I remembered. Your boom's here?

Fran�ois returned it. He used it to pick up a journalist.

He says it comes in handy.

Here. Legibly.

- My normal signature. - Mr. Godet, please hurry.

I'm happy to hurry...

Hi, Otto.

Who'd you vote for?

- Why are you acting stupid? - They're the stupid ones!

Guess who came to vote a little while ago?

- Lumi�re. - Worse.

- Worse? Buchard! - Worse than Buchard.

- Forain. - No... Forain's dead.

- Oh yeah... - No way!

- You didn't know? - Forain died?

How did he die?

Doing trampoline. At a Mickey Mouse Club.

He was teaching his kids and miscalculated his jump.

Just his luck, he landed on an umbrella spike.

I've got it! Cruquet!

Gloomy old Cruquet...

Genevieve Kennel de Longlicks.

Kennelle de Longeliques.

26-05-1954.

Has voted.

Sign here.

- 67. - Thanks. See you later.

- Who's she? - No idea.

- Give me your boom. - I need it for tomorrow.

- How did you vote? - Blank.

- How brainless! - No, blank.

Your head's a blank!

Mr. Jeanjean, would your friend like to supervise the count tonight?

We have an early train tomorrow for Toulouse.

It's her! Miss Pekinese!

What a pretty baby boy!

Shit.

She's nice-Iooking.

I'll leave you two.

Miss Odile de I'Abuze.

Years ago, Mr. Cr�mieux and I would stare at the booths

and play ''The Leg Game.''

We'd bet on how pretty the girl inside was.

459.

Festival. Anna... 10-12-1968.

Has voted.

If you'd just sign here...

Your passport...

FIRST ROUND WINNERS

As we can see,

it's very close indeed.

Now let's turn to Toulouse...

Toulouse and its environs.

To modernize the city in view of all-out expansion,

we've created an interdisciplinary multi-media complex.

By virtue of the powers conferred on me,

I'II blab on and on.

One, two, one, two...

Should I keep talking?

- Hello? - It's fine for sound.

Sound's fine. Lucille, I love what I see.

I think we can shoot.

Everyone in position... Rolling...

Aren't we too tight? He doesn't look great in close-up.

- Can you cut? - I did already.

Smart thinking.

Lucille, I think it'd be nicer if we pulled back a little.

All you have to do is ask.

Let's see...

Thumbs up! It's great.

- There's a problem. - The dome?

It's reflecting off his head.

Are you happy yet?

We're fine-tuning things.

A good frame takes time. It won't be long now.

One last thing.

It'd be nice if you panned right a bit.

Lose that reflection.

Perfect... Rolling!

It's not like the poster. It's what they wanted.

That doesn't matter.

- What's the problem now? - There is none.

I think we can shoot now.

I'm ready.

It's a frame. It may suck, but it's our frame.

- Can we shoot? - Let's shoot.

Butt out! It's none of your business!

He's an idiot!

- Don't nitpick. Just drop it. - Shut up.

- Happy yet? - Let's shoot.

Concentrate!

Rolling.

- Should we mark it? - Otto, mark it.

Mayor Bussy...

"Ostrich Politics". Take 1.

That wasn't hard, was it?

Good day, Mayor.

Good day!

Your head isn't buried in the sand, because behind you

is your superb "Montgiscard Mediascope''.

You've crapped out, I mean mapped out,

a program entitled: ''Mediascopy of the Future".

An ambitious undertaking!

Ambitious? No, I'd rather consider it...

realistically enthusiastic.

What are we witnessing here in Haute-Garonne and elsewhere?

The multi-polarization of culture.

Be it the ever-expanding, global spider's web

or the information highway...

What else?

We have to cut. There's a band playing.

This is a real pain in the neck. I'm not an actor!

I can't say this over and over!

- How was I? - Pretty good.

Kill the band!

Sorry to nip your crescendo in the bud...

We're filming something nearby

and we were hoping it might be possible

for the next 10 minutes

to have some quiet...

Total silence... No noise.

- You're making a movie? - That's right.

They want you to star in it!

I'm all set.

Rolling!

Mayor Bussy, that sounds ambitious!

Ambitious? No, I'd rather consider it...

realistically enthusiastic.

We have to cut.

Come give blood!

Come one, come all!

Give blood. It's important.

All day today,

from 9 to 5. Come give blood.

Hey you guys, don't just hang around.

Come to the Blood-mobile, any time today from 9 to 5.

After all that's happened, it's important.

It's deserted.

Yeah, but I like it. It's relaxing.

It's sort of charming.

Let's do it. Let's take the plunge.

- It's not my thing. - Giving blood is important.

- I don't know if I can. - You took risks?

I've been using rubbers ever since I was little.

Since you were little? It figures.

You never get involved. You're the most neutral guy I know.

They take gallons.

We're here to give blood.

Do you have donor cards?

- I do. - No, this is my first time.

If you could each fill out a form...

They'II remain confidential.

Some pens...

Two strapping youths!

- Not that flute music... - It'll relax them.

Meet Sophie and Aline. Welcome aboard...

They're all yours.

Have a seat, guys.

Give me your jacket.

Comfortable?

Make yourself comfortable. Give me your arm.

- You're not from around here? - No, from Versailles.

Me too.

- It's tight. - That's the idea.

Make a fist.

You have nice veins.

Breathe...

- What a great city! - Relax.

You have nice veins.

Take a deep breath...

I expected the needles to be smaller.

Take a deep breath.

Open your fist...

Keep opening it and closing it...

It helps the blood circulate.

Patrick? Can you turn off this music?

Good idea, Aline. Sing...

- Have you seen my mouthwash? - No, I haven't.

Are you okay? You were out of it...

300 milliliters. Good job!

You forgot this. You're O negative, like me.

There aren't many of us.

O negs can only receive 0 neg blood. It can be serious.

Just think pos.

I better get going.

Thanks for the snack.

What a dumb pun.

- What pun? - You didn't get it? ''Think pos."

It's not bad.

She's still working?

That boy in red runs like you.

Were you a cute baby?

I forget... No, I was a cute kid.

I was awful. Truly hideous.

Seriously ugly.

But over the next two years, I made great progress.

At the age of 5, I was...

Gorgeous.

Really handsome. People stopped and stared.

I kept getting better until the age of 10.

Starting around 10, 12, 13...

it was downhill.

War!

So long, lover boys!

They're leaving.

War!

"Sophie. 61110909."

That's incredible!

Cut it out!

She left you her number!

- Call her! - Don't rush me.

Let's finish the interview first.

As for her,

let's wait till nightfall.

I transferred my number here.

It's Albert... ''0 neg."

Maybe we can get together tonight.

Hold on...

Can I invite a friend tonight?

Do you like soccer?

Sort of... yeah.

See you later then.

Here's the address.

12 Rue des Roses... How fitting!

You want directions?

I'll figure it out myself. It's more fun.

See you soon.

What a laugh.

It's at some guy's house and they'll be watching soccer.

- The doctor? - I don't know. He had a deep voice.

Her boyfriend?

No, she'd never do that. She seemed happy and optimistic.

No problem. I'll go for dinner.

Dinner for 3?

It's not ideal, but you can't be too demanding.

Either he'll leave on his own, or we'll get rid of him.

You have to accept life's handicaps.

They prove your strength, your determination, they prove...

I must really want her badly.

Will you be full of hope at her wedding?

Don't be a pain.

Watching soccer on TV with a guy you don't know...

He could be her boyfriend. Or her ex. Why should I go?

Just go. You'll find out.

- I can call back and find out. - You can't just ask.

- How can I find out? - We know they don't live together.

Did she really transfer her number?

If his name is on the machine...

Exactly! He says his name on it.

- What if he answers? - I'll put you on.

Say you dialed wrong. That way, you can ask his number.

I'm lousy at this kind of thing.

I'd like to speak to... the owner.

- Of what? - The house.

- Who are you? - A friend. And you?

- I'm a friend too. - Whose friend?

- Same as you. - Sophie's?

You want Sophie? I'll put her on.

- What now? - Ask where I am.

Where's Albert?

I don't know. Is it important?

Yeah, your husband didn't know where he was.

He's a friend.

- You have a lot of friends like that? - Who are you?

Otto, Albert's friend. Just kidding.

I'm worried. He went out and hasn't come back yet.

Relax. He's coming for dinner. I can take a message.

- Tell him I'm not mad anymore. - Okay.

- So how are you? - Fine thanks, and you?

Good. Where am I calling?

A friend's house.

You don't live there?

You live somewhere else?

Are rents high in Toulouse?

It depends.

In your area.

I pay a normal rent.

How much, if you don't mind my asking?

2,800 francs.

That's really reasonable.

I have to go. A friend's waiting to go buy dessert.

- The friend who lives there? - Another one.

You both transferred your lines there?

Let me explain: Eude went out to buy soup.

You can come too.

I have paperwork to do.

Okay. Just use a rubber. I'll give Albert the message.

You went way too far! You started off silly

and ended up like the Secret Service.

So who are the guys?

If you ask me, she's hot.

There are going to be 4 of you. Think it over.

I have to stand out. A present! To make me stand out!

It's a little late.

With that you'd look ridiculous.

Not being scared of looking ridiculous is a plus.

I better get ready now. I won't have time later.

I have to act like I'm going.

Give me that shirt.

- Why did you shower? - Thanks!

- For the camera girl? - Just in case.

For example, a balding woman would attract no man.

Did you hear that?

Sure I did.

You have a full head of hair.

Your father too?

- And your grandfathers? - No problem.

Lucky bastard.

Your bald spot can be the result of a trauma.

I never had a trauma. No nervous breakdowns, no great loves.

That's it!

It's hereditary! Bald fathers make bald sons!

Stop complaining. You still have tons of hair.

It's the beginning of the end.

If you wear your hair like this...

Look.

Just stay out of drafts.

Then get a hair implant!

Sometimes I forget about it, but...

in my dreams, my hair is wavy and frizzy...

Like Bob Dylan or the Jackson Five.

Fran�ois says those implants cost a fortune.

Imagine if you can buy only one tuft a year.

It's 8 o'clock.

What is it?

You feel sick?

Is it the eggs or that thing again?

Nothing ambiguous happened with her...

She gave you her number.

Quiet or I'll lose it...

Why do you say that?

She seems really great.

If you puke, you're in love?

It's much more complicated than that.

You can tell you're going to vomit.

When certain emotionally charged words are used on me...

What kind of words? "Fuck", "screw'', ''sex''?

I rarely hear that on a first date. Maybe you do, but not me.

No, but Fran�ois does: "I want to ball you!''

Fran�ois speaks his mind.

He has a solid stomach.

I mean words like "your face'', ''for you"...

When they're spoken too sensually...

Or the word "mouth"...

The guy on the phone wasn't funny.

The competition's going to be tough.

But if the others are all humorless...

A tiny voice. Very sweet, polite, terribly shy.

Almost mute.

I'll let myself go. I'll bring the house down.

What jokes do I have on hand?

I have the hippopotamus.

That's the best.

There's SOS lemon: "Help, I'm in a twist!" Not funny.

It's going to be a living hell.

Albert ''O neg". Right?

Been here long? Come in!

The soup!

Shit, the soup! I'll be right back.

A present?

Your friend left it here. I'II take it down.

Let him. Don't bother.

It's no bother.

It's for you.

Another present?

A kettle.

How thoughtful.

It was cheap. I got it in a supermarket.

It's really special.

Is this the whistle?

I'm a lucky girl.

Imagine you meet a really nice guy.

Sweet, polite, intelligent, great sense of humor.

But he is right-wing. What would you do?

Is that still an issue for you?

I'd dump him. Are you right-wing?

Put your mind at rest.

In my heart of hearts, my sympathies lie with the left.

Are everyone's hands clean?

Let's see...

Let's see your hands.

Cyril.

Go wash your hands.

Get going. Wash them.

Let's toast!

Eye to eye, or else it's no good.

I heard one. I was rolling on the floor.

Mr. And Mrs. Linbedder have a daughter. What's her name?

- Mr. And Mrs. What? - Linbedder.

Sophie.

You knew it?

So feelin' better?

What an idiot...

This'll go over like a lead balloon...

Two hippopotamuses are in the Limpopo River.

All you can see

are their two eyes. It's 120 degrees in the shade.

Nothing's happening. The river is dark brown.

A vulture is circling around.

Yeah? And?

One of the hippos is named Patrick.

He turns to his friend named...

Eude.

And Patrick says to Eude:

''Jesus, Eude... I still can't believe it's Friday."

- Funny. - Is that it?

- It's very funny. - I told it badly.

It's a little absurd. It's absurdist humor.

It's very funny. And I love hippopotamuses.

I should try avoiding them.

How do you get on with animals?

Very well.

You feel really worn down. Really exhausted.

Burnt out.

A society is strong when everyone chips in.

This afternoon, Albert, who is sitting here, gave blood.

He's healthy, strong, O negative,

and he proved it by giving blood.

Cuba has the lowest infant mortality rate in South America.

No child prostitution.

All kids go to school, which is free.

There is 1 doctor for every 5 inhabitants.

That's way off. Sophie, that's just propaganda.

For me, Cuba is a strong country.

Have you been to Cuba?

The game's about to start!

You like soccer?

Yes, yes, yes, yes...

but I don't understand it.

- I like watching TV. - What do you watch?

I like monkeys.

- Monkeys? - They make me laugh.

Monkeys scare me.

Big ones, maybe. I meant the small ones.

Them too.

Sometimes soccer...

It can be lots of fun.

They're all sitting there.

Move, Albert.

We'll get out of your way.

Who are you rooting for?

For the team who...

plays fairest.

Let's play ''Score-n-Smooch"!

- I call Loko. - No fair!

What's ''Score-n-Smooch''?

We each choose a player randomly.

The girls kiss you if your player scores.

- Is that Nouma? - No, it's Leguen.

Point Nouma out to me.

He's on the bench.

- Not on the field. - He may never play.

- Who scored? - Loko!

Who called Loko?

Let's smooch.

What's the problem with Leguen?

I can't even see him.

There he is.

I'll kiss you anyway.

Maybe Nouma will take his place.

There I am!

- That's me. - Welcome.

Number 15.

Look at him kick that ball.

Why was he on the bench?

He's full of piss and vinegar!

It's Nouma!

Your turn.

The living room, the dining room...

We can skip the bathroom.

My little kitchenette.

And this is my bedroom.

- Very nice. - Home sweet home. Listen...

It's a group from Toulouse. I love them.

It'II wake us up.

My father.

He's a great guy. You should meet him.

Did you make that?

When I was a kid. I was into painting.

What an unusual face.

It's a potato.

- Are you a potato specialist? - Why?

There are 5 more.

That's my family.

Who's that?

- It's Albert. - Hi, Albert.

You're losing your hair!

- You noticed. - It's cute.

- Cute? - Yeah.

- It's him! - Who?

- My ex. - Your ex?

I thought he gave me the key back.

It could be a plumbing problem.

You better go check.

If I go...

No, I better not.

Someone has to.

- It could be someone else. - Another ex?

Someone else. A burglar.

Would he flush with us here?

Maybe he didn't hear us.

You mean he fell asleep on the can?

- He's a friend. Go! - You go. He won't bother you.

Won't you tell me who it is?

Patrick?

- He's your only ex with a key? - No, and stop saying ''ex"!

How many are there?

All the guys at dinner tonight. Get going!

Hey, Albert. Don't faint. It's me, Patrick.

Hello, doctor.

Are you okay?

I'm fine. I'm just fine.

- How about you? - I'm fine too.

The soup was good. It was a great meal.

And we won. That's what counts most.

Patrick, get out of here!

Get out!

- I'm going... - No, you stay and he goes.

Sure I'll go, Sophie.

Just flush for me.

Give me my key and get on your scooter.

I want you out of here!

Throw him out.

I said to get him out of here!

Wait till the song's over.

I'll have the cops haul you both out of here!

Let's have a smoke.

What did I do to deserve this?

Don't start acting buddy-buddy with me.

Don't bother.

She grabs me by the collar and throws me out...

Get on your scooter... and beat it!

Come on, forget this loser.

Stay with me, Albert.

I liked this garden.

This grass was a pain in the ass.

I sprayed it against bugs...

Earwigs!

The parsley and chives...

Shut up!

I planted them both... in the vegetable garden.

I invented the system with a bucket for watering.

Shut up down there!

The bourgeoisie invented jackshit!

I'll take my scooter to bed. We'll sleep here.

It's serious. He's too drunk to drive.

Screw my neighbors, screw him. It's you I want.

Cool.

What a jerk! His scarf is caught.

We'll have to cut it.

I have a Swiss Army knife.

Hurry!

Turn off the engine.

On the right!

Sorry, Patrick.

Call the cops.

He's a doctor. It'll ruin his reputation.

We'll take him home. Can you ride a scooter?

Not yet.

Anotherjerk.

She's a great girl. She knows how to love.

She sees the best in everyone.

In life, everything goes to pot.

Look at your hair.

Your face is a wreck.

You're falling apart...

and she runs off with you!

We're here, aren't we?

I'll go to Africa... and so long, suckers!

Speeding little bald guys,

hypocrites, cowardly businessmen phony baloney politicians,

happy-go-lucky nerds like you!

Are you losing your pubic hair too?

That's enough!

Look!

That dumb bitch! She never returned my drill.

That Lolita got me to put in shelves for her.

In concrete walls!

- Is it charged? - Put it down!

Shut up, asshole!

You're crazy!

Scream and I'II pierce your spine.

And I know where to find it!

Go faster and kill that bitch for me.

Floor it!

Bitch!

Come in.

Good morning.

Have a nice day.

Shit! The train!

Faster! Faster!

Do you want these violets?

Christ Almighty!

Otto, give me a reason to leave.

I don't know... To hear what Fran�ois did on the film.

To water your bonsai.

I threw it away months ago.

- It was nice but... - Delicate.

You're all out of clean clothes.

Sophie will want to watch soccer again.

We can watch it together. Give me a reason to stay.

When you're in love, you're impetuous.

If you don't act now, when will you?

- Staying would make her happy. - Would it?

You love her, right?

She's off in the Blood-mobile. I said I was leaving early.

I'm such an ass! What would you do?

I don't know.

Strike while the iron's hot.

You can stay too... for the camera girl.

- She's too... - Too what?

Too masculine.

Give me an order.

I order you to come home!

Look me in the eyes!

An order is an order!

Thanks.

What are you doing? Get in!

Hello, Sophie? It's Albert. Can you call me back?

Which means: I'm in Paris. I decided to go back.

Let's make a long story short. First, I was happy to meet you.

I hope to see you again soon. Why not today?

I'm dying to say I'm on my way.

And second, I'm sorry about all the trouble.

I couldn't help it.

And third, I'd like to kiss you...

Three minutes and you get cut off!

It used up an entire card!

You dropped this.

- Who is she? - A girl I met in Toulouse.

- Is that her boyfriend? - Her ex.

They look dumb. Were they drunk?

I'm in a rush.

Will you pick me up tonight?

Is that your office?

I have a customer. See you tonight.

Take a questionnaire...

It's Cruquet. For tonight's meeting, don't forget your cheese grill.

Jean made a flan.

Screw him and his cheese grill. I hate grilled cheese.

That's not true. I like grilling cheese.

It's convivial...

It's a nice, simple meal.

First...

cheese grill for that idiot, who's an old friend.

Second, go out with Fran�ois.

Or third, go back to Toulouse and to Sophie.

Fourth...

Tomorrow's the day. I'II kick ass.

Cold shower!

Hello! Frothy streams! Bubbling extravaganza! Joy!

Bucolic glee! Bim-bada-bim! I'm not in! Bim-badam!

This beep is a sign of reverence.

The word "election'' is ambiguous and mysterious.

We can all ask ourselves

if we elected our fate or if fate elected us.

One, two, one, two... Is the sound okay?

Perfect.

We'll shoot now. You were right on.

It's Cruquet. We waited for you.

We grilled cheese without your grill.

Jean's flan was a flop. It was sad.

I hope you'II be

at Saturday's demonstration for "excluding exclusion".

It's important.

It's Fran�ois. Thanks for standing me up.

Don't forget tonight.

It'll be fancy: Anna Festival, Michel Butel...

So dress appropriately.

Ugly, hideous, fit for the trash...

Nothing, nothing, nothing!

Nothing unique.

Maybe this. Why not?

God, is it bright!

But it's not ugly. Bright doesn't mean ugly.

Maybe for the middle classes.

Aren't you middle class?

"Hello...

''I found the film fascinating.

"And you... this shirt..."

This!

Maybe.

It's witty, extravagant...

With this!

If the shoe fits... wear it!

"Hello.

"I have a tiny problem with the film..."

Very hard to wear. It's no good at all...

A sweater. I'll wear a sweater. "Hello.

"The movie's not bad.

''I don't give a fuck but it's not bad at all!"

What the hell...

"Good evening...

"I have something to say, but not now."

You lost more hair.

You can tell?

Minoxidile made me anxious.

Me too. It gave me tufts in my nose.

No more Gerbiol, Allostile...

I'm starting with SM44. Organic silicium...

In high concentrations.

They say the results are incredible. In just a few months.

Instead of trying to save a few strands of dying hair,

it re-fertilizes the dermis.

Tonight you'll meet a dangerous girl. Don't fall in love.

You'II speak to her. She'll flatter you.

She'll give you her number, suggest you meet alone.

Don't listen. Avoid her gaze.

She's intelligent, beautiful, from a family of artists.

She's excellent company.

Don't expect anything more. Forget her.

Michel Butel, who's coming tonight, went crazy over her. Literally.

She's driven men to suicide.

You think it's funny?

In her apartment, all she wears is a linen T-shirt.

If you glimpse her breasts, say it was a dream.

When she uncrosses her...

Okay, okay. I get it.

Do you have a hard-on?

With her, you need pants with big pleats.

You're in trouble tonight.

- What's this? - A souvenir.

It's here, right?

Stop...

Open the window.

Corinne!

- Go inside. - I don't know anyone.

We'II just be a second.

- She's the dangerous one? - No, she's just a friend.

Girlfriend?

Sort of... I met her at the polls. We get along well.

She thinks you're a boom operator?

You really did the boom on this film?

Sorry, but it's not that hard.

Just park here!

Hey assholes, learn to drive!

Who are you calling ''assholes"? Maybe you'd like to fight this out!

- Park the car! - Not on a crosswalk!

He's right. You drive like an old lady.

We've been around the block three times now.

Are you aiming for fifteen?

This is incredible!

Stop here.

Go to Paris. They have tons of parking lots.

Pain in the ass!

What's that?

A cooler. I lent it to Albert.

Is this movie worth getting towed?

You're holding up traffic, mister!

Hey asshole, who are you calling "mister"?

What a nut!

Look at that! Goddamned assholes!

Bastards!

Become invisible via metamorphosis.

Let us not be one, but many.

We can only love one person who is multifold,

moved by the movement...

It's just started.

How can they be so numerous, so multifold...

The boom!

Fran�ois said it was easy. No one noticed.

They think it's a bird.

Maybe.

From childhood, none of us likes our bodies, voices,

our faces, gestures and movements.

How do you get on with animals?

Very well.

A flock of birds in flight.

Let's join the flock, let's join the flight.

Do I like the film?

Yes.

Would I fight to defend it?

No.

Anyone in there?

- I'm almost done. - Is that you, Anna?

Yes...

Bravo for the film! It's you!

You film birds so shamelessly!

Hello again...

Am I in the ladies' room?

So you're Fran�ois' girlfriend.

And you're his best friend.

I'm a friend, yeah.

Did you work on the film?

I wish I had. It's beautiful. Very powerful.

I didn't believe in those coughing birds.

I bet she doesn't like birds.

At one point, one bird trips another and the second one slaps the first.

It's ridiculous.

Birds are more spontaneous than that.

See you later.

You must have worked hard. It's very good.

Nothing haphazard. It all flows without ever overflowing.

I won't do an in-depth analysis.

It's all in there. Even in the weak parts.

- What's in there? - In the subject...

This is the ladies' room.

What are the weak parts?

The weak parts. I love them.

It's your arrogance, your insolence, the way you thumb your nose...

Can you explain that?

First of all, I love the beginning.

But it takes 15 minutes to take off, so we're a little lost.

All those birds...

But I like the way it's so confused.

Second,

you have a power of persuasion, which is...

And third... the ending.

Hi, Foufie!

I'm really proud of you.

It's...

What's so wonderful in your film is...

the nervousness of the birds.

It's sort of like...

a metaphor...

of poverty... world poverty.

Michel, let's have some champagne.

I'd like some too. Or some lemonade.

Was that really dumb?

It is a sort of metaphor.

Have you been to Cuba?

The infant mortality rate is low, schools are free,

and they have one doctor for every fifteen inhabitants...

Fifty. But that's just propaganda.

They're dirt poor. What's public transportation in Cuba?

The bicycle.

Come on, Castro has become an old Ioner.

He has no more friends. He's a criminal.

How do you know he's a criminal? Aren't you a criminal?

Start by quelling the monster within yourself!

Relax.

How can you understand the organization of our society

if you're not aware of the beast in yourself?

Right, Michel?

He says don't get worked up.

I agree.

What else?

That's all.

Really? Am I talking nonsense?

I'm speaking. Nonsense is better than silence.

You didn't let her speak.

Why don't you react to what I'm saying?

The beast is your idea. I'm repeating it.

Badly.

Michel spoke marvelously

in Anna's film.

Marvelously...

It's nice to say ''Let's be multifold! Let's join the flock!"

What do we do concretely?

One bird leads the flock. The chief.

- Not a chief, a leader. - Shut up!

Stop playing that schmaltz!

That film is a catastrophe.

It's total bullshit! And it's immoral.

Anna, you may be stunning,

but you're a shitty director.

I'm sorry, but it's for your own good.

Fran�ois, what's your problem?

You've got it all: Charm,

intelligence, talent, bullshit connections.

We saw that crap up on the screen!

I mostly saw your mike. That hairy thing, bobbing up and down.

The screen was hairier than your head.

That's totally...

You're cruising for a bruising!

You better shut up!

You talk about poverty and drive a Peugeot 406!

Trade it in and feed an African village!

- How are you getting home? - By foot.

I understand your point of view.

Me too.

You're really courageous.

Handsome too...

So kiss me.

- If I had your sarcasm... - It would show!

Remember what I said about Anna. Be firm. Resistant.

Keep a clear head.

Who the hell did this?

- Your loud-mouth friend? - No way.

How do you know?

I was just with him. He went that way.

He's not the kind of coward who does this.

It's the guy whose spot you stole.

The blue Twingo! I'll kill that asshole!

Albert, don't you have a car?

- More or less. - Meaning?

My car's in bad shape. It's totally unreliable.

Does it work or doesn't it?

What make is it?

It's nothing. Don't expect anything...

Can we all fit in?

Yeah...

I knifed this guy's tires. Give me your keys.

- It's my uncle's! - Take mine. It's down the street.

This is for the automatic door lock.

We're almost there.

Here it is.

This one? It's not that small.

All aboard!

The ignition...

Who wanted a light?

I guess I heard wrong.

Now comes the hard part.

She's full of pep.

A real powerhouse.

How about some music?

The windshield wipers are hypersensitive.

- A bottle. - Help yourself.

Of air, for scuba diving.

It's my vice.

- Vice or grand passion? - A very grand passion.

You go parachuting too?

- How do you know? - There's a magazine here.

I'm less of a dare-devil now, but I keep up to date.

I'm fascinated by the jump itself.

That decisive fraction of a second.

If you think too hard, you don't jump.

Are these yours?

Yes.

Prescription?

You're right. I better wear them.

It's safer.

You can'tjudge a book by its cover.

It's Fran�ois' girlfriend.

Corinne! Where is "Puss in Boots"?

Follow me.

Red light.

- I have no papers whatsoever. - Come with us.

We were happily on our way...

We'll take a cab.

No, we can'tjust leave Albert.

Go on.

Really?

I'm used to this stuff.

Meet one happy boy.

Your ticket.

Ask the precinct if we should bring him in.

- Let's split. - Let's what?

Split!

Where are they?

I give up!

I won't run!

Just get on!

- I need a helmet! I'm on the lam! - Get on!

I found my friend.

You're lucky. Ours got loose.

What about my boyfriend?

Take a guess... He's all yours.

He should have told us he was with you.

I won't let him out of my sight now.

Are they your friends?

No. I'm a cop too.

I get it. You're a police woman?

I get it. What kind?

- Internal affairs. - I get it.

- I saw you at the polls. - I get it...

You want to eat with Little Miss Pigeon Lover?

Yeah...

You do? What's the name of the restaurant?

"Puss'' something...

''Puss in heat"...

Here I am! I won't lose her!

Everything's fine! Everything's Jim Dandy!

You're all clear for landing!

Roger. Here I come.

- Park your aircraft. - Roger. Here I go.

- My phone makes beeps. - So?

- We can establish contact. - Why not?

One, two, one, two... How's that for sound? I feel far away.

It's fine. What do you say, Albert?

Perfect.

The history of politics, like that of people,

requires a guiding force.

This force gives us

a view of the future and, simultaneously,

it doesn't exclude chance mishaps and twists of fate.

- How's that? - Perfect.

It's not the right speech.

It was absolutely perfect.

Hi, Fran�ois.

How are you?

You don't look too great. Money problems?

Let me explain...

She's a whore.

Who?

Corinne. We were going to live together.

You met her last Sunday!

She's... How can I describe her?

Wonderful. Crazy.

- What did she do? - She paid me back.

How much?

Stop it. She sleeps with guys, like me.

- You sleep with guys? - Stop clowning around.

She slept with a clown like you.

- How do you know? - Masculine intuition.

What does that mean?

It means I have proof she cheated on me. I was blind before.

It's staring me in the face. It's so obvious I can't believe it.

What are you talking about?

I got a phone call Tuesday night.

I thought it was a prank.

I heard rubbing and jerking and hooting.

I kept listening and I heard telephone beeps.

Like on a touch-tone phone.

What is this?

Then I heard Corinne saying:

Hello, control tower?

Someone's on the other end.

What did you do?

I guess I pushed ''redial''.

Redial?

"Hello? Control tower? ''

That's what she was saying.

Albert? It's Sophie. Too bad you're not in...

Don't hang up.

You're there? You filter your calls?

No, I didn't hear the phone... I was vacuuming.

I was vacuuming...

How are you? It's nice of you to call.

I can't hear you. I'm in a phone booth.

Give me the number. I'II call you right back.

It's not worth it. I'm downstairs. I need your door code.

You're downstairs? I see...

Dad and I came for the demonstration. I can see you now.

I'm staying with him. I thought I'd drop by.

Come on up.

''I was vacuuming." What an ass!

Excuse me.

My sock.

You're making it tough for me.

You don't like laughing?

Not during sex, no.

They go well together. I don't like it when things get serious.

I'll take your pulse.

Take mine.

Are you coming to the demonstration?

- You're busy? - Not really.

So you'll come?

I'II have to plan my day.

I have something at the zoo.

- Little monkeys? - No, ostriches.

Will you meet us there?

Albert, are you there?

I wanted to know how things went with the police.

I'd like to see you again.

Otto said you're busy doing wild-tracks of ostriches.

He'll record the sound

at the demonstration. Try to come.

But I'd like to see you alone. Are you free tonight?

Call me. Hugs and kisses.

God Almighty!

What's on for tonight?

- I'm seeing Anna. - Really?

- I'll keep cool. - Where are you meeting?

In a caf�, then...

If you go to her place, watch out.

All the food there is rancid. Yogurt, milk...

If you can, check the expiration dates.

You'll be surprised.

Tell her nicely. She's a snob about it.

She eats that stuff?

She must have an iron stomach by now. You should be careful.

He'll starve.

Or go with something fresh yet substantial.

He can't take a roast lamb.

Or ask to eat things that can't go bad.

Noodles, rice...

I won't be hungry anyway.

Otto, you're awfully quiet.

What are you doing?

There's a show on TV about cigarettes.

We really should be going...

So long, guys.

Choosing a restaurant is like deciding to have a baby.

You refuse one after another, then there's nothing left to chose from.

The longer you wait, the harder it is to decide.

So let's eat here.

So let's eat here.

Did you decide to be a journalist?

I decided everything.

It's crazy to say that.

I don't know what I'm pursuing.

Me.

You're pursuing me.

I'm not so sure. I almost didn't come.

Intentions provoke some things,

actions provoke others.

This is my choice.

Our actions rarely lead us where we want.

We should make a choice and stick to it.

I'll attack this spretch.

It's a slazek.

I mix them up. Slazek, spretch...

We provoke

by our actions, both negative and positive,

irreversible upheavals.

Our dinner will have consequences

long after the table is cleared and we are dead.

What do you mean?

Obviously,

I can't know what you want from me tonight.

Whatever you do will influence what follows.

Your intentions may be great: Love, friendship

charm, seduction, etc.

But one unfortunate gesture

and tonight will go to pot.

Just a second.

Do you have a restroom?

Of course. Like everyone else.

Down the hallway.

Nothing like a good pee.

What would you say

if I threw this in your face?

Do it.

Didn't you ever want

to throw your drink into the face of the nicest person there?

It's like vertigo.

It's the need to act against

our appearances.

A desire to be loved... absolutely.

If the person I throw water at

smiles back at me, then he really loves me.

Excuse me...

Don't excuse yourself.

Good move.

You wanted to alter the course of events.

Doing so provokes consequences we can't master.

Men see their most grandiose projects blow up in their faces.

The most obvious example is Fidel Castro.

Yes... or you.

It pains me not to know whether Cuba is good or not.

On the one hand,

human rights barely exist. People are starving.

Don't exaggerate.

Exactly. And on the other hand,

no child prostitution, everyone goes to free schools.

A doctor for every 15 inhabitants.

For every 100 inhabitants.

- Are you sure? - Positive.

I've been to Cuba. I've met Castro.

- I have a photo. - Here?

No, at home.

So he does exist.

That's what I thought when I met him.

His staff kept telling me: "He's very busy.

"He's in a bad mood. 5 minutes, no more.''

I was with him for 30 minutes.

He's totally charming.

Totally charming.

Charm is a lot more important than we think.

Lots of charm.

He's the kind of guy

who doesn't try to have the last word.

But he's strong. He devours you!

Devours?

Why 30 minutes?

Jealous?

We spoke about the American embargo.

Is he still in a position to decide?

So he can't decide anything?

America made Cuba go communist

so South America wouldn't follow.

His neighbors gave up on Cuba because he was ''communist".

Excuse me...

Are you okay?

A tiny nauseous spell.

Meaning?

I just upchucked.

You mean you just vomited?

Yes.

You're all pale. Do you feel sick? Do you want to leave?

Not at all...

Tell me what's going on.

It's over now.

- Not entirely. - It's starting again?

Drink something...

You can't talk?

Albert... look at me.

Go to the restroom!

Get it over with! Why are you punishing yourself?

Too bad. I almost managed to control myself.

- I can, if no one takes notice of me. - Are you better?

I feel great now. I could eat a horse.

What were you talking about, just before I left?

Your last words.

- About the Americans. - Before that.

That Castro's not alone.

No, you asked me if I was jealous. That's it.

That's the word that did it.

It's not about jealousy.

By assuming I could be jealous,

you implied we're an item.

I've been fighting it off since you started talking about us.

It's triggered by emotionally charged situations?

That's it... Exactly.

It comes on as soon as I feel things getting...

Emotionally wrought?

That's it. That's when I have to puke.

I'm scared to speak and send you back to the restroom.

But I'm flattered.

Are you? I'm glad to hear it.

Listen...

Just pay attention. And don't talk too much.

It's my turn to use the restroom.

Really?

How thoughtful. Thanks.

Would I vomit if I were with Sophie?

I don't think so.

No, I don't.

Let's go see my photo with Castro.

Now? At your place?

Why not?

Let's meet at the traffic light.

What do you think?

- Who did it? - Nathalie Capron.

Afriend of mine.

It's very...

tortured.

Yet full of... physicality.

Would you like a nice, cold yogurt?

Or a cigar.

I think I'll pass. I still feel queasy.

So, Fidel...

It's in there?

I can't wait.

It's unbelievable!

There he is... and there you are.

Keep the magazine. I have others.

I like his face. He looks courageous.

Did Castro have a girlfriend during the revolution?

I wouldn't know.

- And now? - I don't know.

Did he sweep you off your feet?

Are you really jealous of Fidel Castro?

He's a big decision-maker.

What would you like to decide?

To kiss you.

- You can't decide? - Yes.

So why not act on your decision?

What's that?

A little tickle.

Now it's as if gravity is pulling you towards me.

I want a man who shows me that he wants me.

Who acts, who doesn't give in.

- So it's hopeless. - No, it's not.

The other thing that bothers me

is this heavy silence. No one's talking.

It's unbearable.

But we can't keep talking forever.

Tell me what we're going to do.

- We're going to... - Go for it!

If you make yourself vomit too, we're in serious trouble.

Do you feel free?

Is Castro a free man?

When do we act freely?

I have no idea.

A free action is something absolutely new

something beyond us.

A free action breaks with temporality.

Throwing water at me, without cause or imagined effects,

is an original gesture.

- Sorry about my Chap Stick. - No big deal...

Are you dangerous?

No. Trust me.

Can one person be right and all others wrong?

Relax...

They must make sounds.

She's totally charming.

Anna.

I love that girl. That's it.

I love her.

I love her, God damn it!

When will I see you again?

I don't know. Meet me at the demonstration.

In Versailles, where the ministers met today,

the demonstration attracted

33,000 people according to militants, 750 according to police.

Although the crowd is breaking up,

some are still at the gates, where police are stationed.

Good evening.

Is this the demonstration?

- Does it look like a picnic? - Not really...

- Thank you, officer. - It's over anyway.

It's Cruquet!

Animals have rights too!

Give us housing! Give us jobs!

Don't move!

- It's snowing. - Great!

Forward march!

Here come the troops!

What's going on?

Take this!

Cruquet!

- They arrested Aline and Cyril. - Did you see? It was a massacre!

They beat up Cruquet.

Let's go find them.

If you hadn't stayed with me, you'd be arrested too.

Fucking cops!

Sophie's father.

Thanks for the kettle. It was nice.

Don't mention it.

See you around...

What kettle?

You gave that cop a kettle?

She's in Internal Affairs.

I'm floored.

He gave me a kettle too.

Do you know her?

More or less.

Anna, we'll wait in the car.

So long, Albert.

Let's get them released.

So long, Albert.

We'll meet at the train, Dad.

- Are you coming? - He'll stay. Where's the precinct?

- It's complicated... - I'll find it.

- I mean, this situation... - Save it. Where do I go?

I'm going.

So long, Anna...

You go straight, then diagonally, then you backtrack a little.

Take a left at the market...

- Can we talk? - Sure.

I'll be right back.

- Mrs. Vulgarville. - Bulger...

Did you get my message?

Cruquet was released quickly. He's in all our files.

Strong personality.

- He's a serious militant. - Is he in a group?

I don't know. He says two's enough to make a group.

Yeah, right!

I'm having a party... No, Fran�ois is coming.

You buried the hatchet?

Such weird expressions!

Buried the hatchet?

You sound like a boy scout.

Fran�ois knows you were the aircraft, the control tower,

everything...

How did he find out?

He saw a kettle at Otto's.

Otto said you gave one to him and one to the girl from Toulouse.

Then he saw one at my place. He figured it all out.

Otto is such an idiot!

Couldn't he shut up?

Otto never stops talking about his kettle!

Fran�ois can trash the whole place!

Otto won't let him out of his sight. And I'm hanging around.

- Otto Gazo. - Gazain.

- Born the 24-9-1962. - Has voted.

A signature, Mr. Gazoo.

- Godot, Fran�ois. - Godet.

- Born the 10-6-1962. - Has voted.

Could you supervise the count tonight?

Should I do your windows too?

My papers, please.

Give him his papers.

In the meantime, sign here, Mr. Godot.

You're losing your hair!

- You want to kill me? - Yes.

- I understand. - When is your break?

- After the count. - I'm busy tonight.

Or else a nice slap in the face in the booth now.

- Okay. - Now?

- Now. - Or else...

No, now.

Let's go.

Let's go.

We won't break any records today.

Have you heard this one?

Mr. And Mrs. Linbedder have a daughter. What's her name?

Anna. Sophie.

Festival, Anna. 10-12-1968.

Can you supervise the count tonight?

I'm busy tonight.

Sign here, please.

A secret ballot!

My second vote.

Happy?

Proud?

Calm?

I always thought I'd tell everything to the woman I love.

You're scaring me.

The jeep is Otto's uncle's, not mine.

Scuba-diving and parachuting were a lie.

I knew that. Otto told me.

What a loud-mouth!

Where's your boom?

There it is!

Cauli...

flower.

Cauli.

Flower.

What's wrong?

I dreamt a cop stepped on my toe.

Then the swing was full of them.

Should I leave the light on?

How wonderful.

What are you doing?

Checking to see if you're asleep.

Darn... I stopped them.

Should I start over?

Subtitles: Andrew Litvack

Sous-titrage TITRA FILM Paris