All language subtitles for Queer.as.Folk.US.S03E04.Brat-Sitting.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.x264-NTb_track3_eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,078 --> 00:00:11,412 - * ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR 2 00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:13,247 * ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX * 3 00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:14,515 * SHAKE IT, DUDE 4 00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:22,456 * 5 00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,797 * ONE, TWO, DO IT 6 00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:32,166 * 7 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,601 * ONE, TWO, THREE 8 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,403 - * FOUR, FOUR 9 00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:38,439 * 10 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:44,078 - AND OUR NEXT CONTESTANT, MICHAEL NOVOTNY! 11 00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:45,279 [cheers and applause] 12 00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:49,417 AND HERE COMES TED SCHMIDT! 13 00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:53,487 A NEW ENTRY... JUSTIN TAYLOR! 14 00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:56,724 ALWAYS A FAVORITE, BRIAN KINNEY! 15 00:00:56,757 --> 00:01:02,230 A REAL CROWD-PLEASER... EMMETT HONEYCUTT! 16 00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:06,167 AND LET'S HEAR IT FOR BEN BRUCKNER! 17 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:07,435 [cheers and applause] 18 00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:13,707 AND THE WINNER IS... 19 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,709 BRIAN KINNEY! 20 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:22,082 [cheers and applause] 21 00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,591 - AAH! NO! 22 00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,760 - WHAT IS IT? 23 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:36,397 - OH, I HAD THAT DREAM-- AGAIN. 24 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:40,668 - THE MR. SPERM-DONOR PAGEANT? WHO WON THIS TIME? 25 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:42,136 - GUESS. 26 00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:44,272 - MAYBE IT'S SOME KIND OF SIGN. 27 00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:47,808 - FUCK. 28 00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:51,345 I ALREADY TOLD YOU, I WANT SOMEONE ELSE. 29 00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:52,513 - BUT WE AGREED IT'S IMPORTANT 30 00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:54,248 OUR KIDS SHOULD HAVE THE SAME PARENT. 31 00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:56,150 - WE DIDN'T AGREE IT SHOULD BE THE SAME ASSHOLE. 32 00:01:56,184 --> 00:01:58,619 - FINE. WE'LL PULL A NAME OUT OF A HAT. 33 00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:03,257 LET'S GET SOME SLEEP, BEFORE THE ALARM GOES OFF. 34 00:02:03,291 --> 00:02:06,527 - LOOK, I KNOW HOW MUCH HE MEANS TO YOU. 35 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:10,764 HE ALWAYS HAS, AND HE ALWAYS WILL. 36 00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:14,802 BUT HE DOESN'T MEAN THE SAME TO ME. 37 00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:21,809 - TO EAT, OR NOT TO EAT? 38 00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,444 - TRY ONE. 39 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:24,545 - YOU KNOW I'M TRYING TO WATCH MY WEIGHT. 40 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:27,815 - ONE'S NOT GOING TO KILL YOU. 41 00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:31,852 - ALL RIGHT. 42 00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:34,188 [gasps] 43 00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:35,323 [panting] 44 00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:37,391 WATER... 45 00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:39,693 WATER. 46 00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:40,794 WATER! 47 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:43,797 OOH, GOD. 48 00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,699 MMM... 49 00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,801 JESUS! YOU SAID IT WASN'T GOING TO KILL ME. 50 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,203 WHAT THE HELL'S IN THOSE THINGS? 51 00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:51,805 - CHILI POWDER, TABASCO, PEPPERS... 52 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:55,676 SOUPCON OF SULFURIC ACID FOR THAT EXTRA LITTLE KICK. 53 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:58,812 MEET OUR NEWEST ACCOUNT, HOT P'TATERS. 54 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,649 - I DEFY YOU TO MAKE THESE SEXY. 55 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,589 [chuckles] THAT'S ACTUALLY... 56 00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,991 "HOTTER THAN YOUR DATE LAST SATURDAY NIGHT." 57 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,560 YEAH, GENIUS. 58 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:13,894 - I DON'T CARE WHAT HE'S DOING. 59 00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:16,230 I HAVE TO SEE HIM. - I'M SORRY, BRIAN. 60 00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:17,231 UH, SHE INSISTED. 61 00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:18,432 - BRIAN, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. 62 00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:19,733 THE SCHOOL JUST CALLED. 63 00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:21,569 PETER BROKE HIS ARM AT SOCCER PRACTICE. 64 00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:24,738 - GARDNER... MY SISTER, CLAIRE. 65 00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:27,308 - IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE HAVING A FAMILY CRISIS. 66 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,310 I'M GOING TO LET YOU SORT IT OUT. 67 00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:31,312 PLEASURE. - THANK YOU. 68 00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:34,315 I HAVE TO GET TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM RIGHT AWAY. 69 00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:35,616 - THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? - CAN YOU HELP ME? 70 00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,318 - CAN YOU LOOK AFTER JOHN? 71 00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:39,253 - IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, I'M WORKING. 72 00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:41,522 - WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO WITH HIM. 73 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,657 - STICK HIM IN A LOCKER AT THE BUS STATION. 74 00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:45,659 YOU EVER HEARD OF A SITTER? 75 00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:47,528 - YOU EXPECT ME TO FIND SOMEONE ON A MOMENT'S NOTICE 76 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:48,529 IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY? 77 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:49,797 - LEAVE HIM WITH MOM. 78 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:52,266 - MOM'S INDISPOSED. 79 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,934 - IS SHE PASSED OUT DRUNK ON THE FLOOR AGAIN? 80 00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:56,337 - BRIAN, PLEASE, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. 81 00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,939 - [sighs] [video game beeps] 82 00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:01,375 HOW LONG WILL YOU BE? - I DON'T KNOW, 83 00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:02,676 BUT I'LL CALL AS SOON AS I HEAR. 84 00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:04,345 OKAY, YOU BEHAVE YOURSELF, DO YOU HEAR ME? 85 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:09,583 [game beeping] 86 00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:16,824 - YOU STILL A FAG? 87 00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:20,894 - HERE. 88 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,396 HAVE ONE. 89 00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:24,532 HAVE TWO. 90 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:33,541 [chuckles] 91 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:34,975 - LOOK AT THAT BONE STRUCTURE, 92 00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:37,445 THOSE ADORABLE SEASHELL EARS. 93 00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,947 AND HE'S INCREDIBLY TALENTED. 94 00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:42,916 - HE'S ONLY 19. - WELL, ISN'T THAT A PLUS? 95 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,518 FRESH, YOUNG SPERM? 96 00:04:44,552 --> 00:04:46,320 - TO ME, HE'S STILL A BABY. 97 00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:48,656 IT JUST DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT HAVING A BABY WITH A BABY. 98 00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,824 - OKAY. 99 00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:53,461 - BEN'S BRAINY AND BRAWNY. 100 00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,796 - I'D SAY HE'S JUST ABOUT PERFECT, 101 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,398 EXCEPT FOR ONE THING. 102 00:04:57,431 --> 00:05:00,834 - RIGHT. 103 00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,704 THERE'S ALWAYS TED. 104 00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:06,540 - AH, GOOD OLD RELIABLE TEDDY. 105 00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:08,976 - EMMETT? - YOU TRY IT. 106 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,878 - TEDDY! 107 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,886 - WHAT IS THIS PLACE? - IT'S CALLED A DINER. 108 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,689 - HEY, BRI. GET YOURSELF A NEW BOYFRIEND? 109 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:23,957 - YEAH, HE'S EVEN YOUNGER THAN THE LAST ONE! 110 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,693 [laughter] 111 00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,428 - GOD, I HOPE NOBODY SEES ME. 112 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:31,432 - SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP. - WHO'S THE CUTIE? 113 00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:33,367 - HE'S THE SPAWN OF SATAN AND MY SISTER. 114 00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:36,036 - THOUGHT I RECOGNIZED A FAMILY RESEMBLANCE. 115 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:37,838 - BOTH SIDES. 116 00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:42,976 - IS SHE A DRAG QUEEN? 117 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,012 - SO, WHAT CAN I GET YA, HONEY? 118 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,847 - I'M NOT EATING ANYTHING IN HERE. 119 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,349 - BRING HIM A BURGER WITH EXTRA GROUND GLASS. 120 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,986 - HEY. - HEY. 121 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,722 - I WANT TO GO TO THE ARCADE IN THE MALL. 122 00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:56,624 I GO THERE EVERY DAY AFTER SCHOOL. 123 00:05:56,657 --> 00:05:58,459 - DOES YOUR MAMA KNOW? - SHE THINKS I'M 124 00:05:58,492 --> 00:05:59,493 AT CHOIR PRACTICE. 125 00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:02,463 BET YOU'D LIKE THAT. 126 00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:05,466 - WHAT'RE YOU DOING WITH YOUR NEPHEW? 127 00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:06,900 - I'M BRAT-SITTING. 128 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:08,469 - HI, JOHN. I'M MICHAEL. 129 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,070 I'M BRIAN'S FRIEND. YOU REMEMBER ME? 130 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,039 - NO. 131 00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:14,041 - WHY DON'T YOU BRING HIM BY THE STORE? 132 00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:15,876 I HAVE A COMIC BOOK STORE, IF YOU WANT TO COME BY. 133 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:18,512 IT'S JUST DOWN THE STREET. 134 00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:21,615 - YOU GOT THE NEW AVENGERS? - I GOT EVERYTHING. 135 00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:23,484 - WHY DON'T YOU DROP BY AND CHECK IT OUT? 136 00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,653 I GIVE FREE SAMPLES. 137 00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:27,488 - CAN WE, UNCLE BRI? 138 00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:31,692 - ALL OF A SUDDEN, WE'RE RELATED. 139 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:35,796 - WASN'T THAT SWEET OF MICHAEL? - YEAH, HE'S A REAL MENSCH. 140 00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:41,535 AND WOULDN'T GIVE US ANY TROUBLE. 141 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,042 - DO YOU WANT TO HAND ME THAT LIGHT BULB, BABE? 142 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:50,644 - CAN I HAVE THIS SPIDER-MAN TOO? 143 00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:53,080 - MM-HMM. - DON'T BE SO FUCKING GREEDY. 144 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,948 HE'S ALREADY GIVEN YOU A SHITLOAD. 145 00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:56,116 - IT'S YOURS. 146 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:59,052 - WHAT DO YOU SAY? 147 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,822 - THANKS, MIKE. 148 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,524 - YOU TWO WANT A KID? 149 00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:06,126 - ACTUALLY, I HAVE GIVEN THAT SERIOUS THOUGHT... 150 00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:08,829 BECAUSE THE STUDIES SHOW THAT TWO MEN 151 00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,698 ARE EVERY BIT AS CAPABLE OF RAISING A CHILD-- 152 00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:13,100 - PSST. I MEAN THIS ONE. 153 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,569 COME ON. - AW...I DON'T WANNA GO. 154 00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:16,837 - WE ALL HAVE TO GO SOMETIME. 155 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,806 - STOP PULLING ME, ASSHOLE. 156 00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,708 GODDAMN FAG. 157 00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:23,243 - YOU WERE GREAT WITH HIM, YOU KNOW THAT? 158 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,613 - KIDS LOVE ME. DON'T ASK ME WHY. 159 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:28,682 - I DON'T HAVE TO. - GOD, YOU'RE HARD! 160 00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:29,750 - YEAH, YOU TOO. 161 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,118 - [clears throat] 162 00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:34,154 DO YOU HAVE THE NEW SUPERMAN? 163 00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:37,124 - YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM. 164 00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:40,828 IT'S, UH, RIGHT OVER THERE. 165 00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:44,131 THOSE WORKOUTS HAVE REALLY BEEN PAYING OFF. 166 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,999 SO I'LL SEE YOU AT DINNER? 167 00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:49,770 - UH, I THOUGHT WOULD, UH, HIT THE GYM TONIGHT... 168 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,973 PUT IN SOME EXTRA TIME ON MY CHEST AND STOMACH. 169 00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,775 - BUT I THOUGHT WE MADE PLANS. 170 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:57,244 - SO WE'LL CHANGE THEM. IT'S NOT A PROBLEM, IS IT? 171 00:07:57,277 --> 00:08:01,849 - NO. 172 00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:04,184 NOT A PROBLEM. 173 00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,623 [opera music playing] 174 00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:12,726 - YOU'RE A WONDER. 175 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:13,994 - I AM? 176 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,128 - I'VE KNOWN YOU... HOW LONG? 177 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,263 FIVE, SIX YEARS? 178 00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:17,998 I HAD NO IDEA YOU COULD COOK. 179 00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:20,601 - MMM, THAT'S BECAUSE I NEVER HAD ANYONE TO COOK FOR. 180 00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:24,004 NOW THAT I DO, YOU WON'T BELIEVE THE DELIGHTS 181 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:26,640 I PLAN TO WHIP UP. 182 00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:30,611 - WELL, I CAN HARDLY WAIT... FOR DESSERT. 183 00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,312 - HMM. MMM. 184 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,047 JUST A MINUTE. I JUST-- I WANT TO CLEAN UP. 185 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:36,183 - EVERYTHING'S ALREADY CLEAN. 186 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,051 THE KITCHEN'S PRACTICALLY SPOTLESS. 187 00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:39,820 - WELL, YOU KNOW ME. 188 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:43,290 CAN'T RELAX UNTIL EVERYTHING'S IN ORDER. 189 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:45,158 - GOD, WHEN I COOK, 190 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,294 THE KITCHEN LOOKS LIKE A HURRICANE HIT. 191 00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:49,830 - SORRY. - OH. 192 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,199 - WELL, THIS'LL JUST TAKE A SECOND. 193 00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:02,943 THIS IS SO NICE. 194 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,211 - MMM. 195 00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:06,113 - I WISH YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GO. 196 00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,048 - WHO'S GOING ANYWHERE? 197 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:11,852 - I MEAN...IT'S SO... 198 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,587 INCONVENIENT, YOU ALWAYS HAVING TO RUN 199 00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,656 BACK AND FORTH TO YOUR PLACE. 200 00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:18,592 - WELL, SOMETIMES ONE DOES NEED A FRESH PAIR OF UNDIES. 201 00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:19,993 - YEAH, BUT WOULDN'T IT BE MORE PRACTICAL 202 00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:21,261 IF THE UNDIES CAME TO YOU, 203 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:25,666 RATHER THAN YOU GOING TO THE UNDIES? 204 00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:27,601 - TEDDY, ARE-- ARE YOU SAYING... 205 00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:30,203 - WHY NOT MOVE IN? 206 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,606 - YOU--YOU MEAN... - LIVE TOGETHER. 207 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:33,874 SHACK UP. 208 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,342 - "SHACK UP." 209 00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:38,712 I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO HEAR THOSE WORDS. 210 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,616 BUT DON'T YOU THINK IT'S TOO SOON? 211 00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:46,386 - YEAH. PROBABLY RIGHT. 212 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:47,955 I MEAN, WE'VE ONLY KNOWN EACH OTHER HOW LONG? 213 00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:49,222 FIVE, SIX YEARS? 214 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,091 WE SHOULD WAIT AT LEAST ANOTHER FIVE MORE. 215 00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:52,993 - YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 216 00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:54,361 LOVING SOMEONE AND LIVING TOGETHER 217 00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:55,763 ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS. 218 00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:57,230 WHAT IF WE DRIVE EACH OTHER CRAZY? 219 00:09:57,264 --> 00:10:01,869 - WELL...WON'T KNOW UNLESS WE TRY. 220 00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:05,238 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 221 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:08,041 - WELL, AS... 222 00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:10,711 LONG AS I WON'T BE IN THE WAY. 223 00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:14,281 - HOW COULD YOU EVER BE IN THE WAY? 224 00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:20,921 PUT THAT THERE. - [laughs] 225 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,223 - WON'T LEAVE A SPOT. 226 00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:29,763 - OKAY, GUS, GIMME YOUR HAPPY FACE. 227 00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:33,934 NOW LET ME SEE YOUR... SAD FACE? 228 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,069 OOH, SAD FACE. MMM. 229 00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:39,406 - YOU KNOW, YOU'RE REALLY GOOD WITH KIDS. 230 00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:42,743 - YEAH, GUS ADORES YOU. 231 00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:45,345 - THAT'S 'CAUSE I'M A PUSHOVER. [grunts] 232 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,280 - IT'S BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT A GOOD HEART. 233 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,216 - THAT'S WHAT MY MOM ALWAYS TELLS ME. 234 00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,151 SHE SAYS, "MICHAEL, YOU HAVE A GOOD HEART. 235 00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:53,053 "AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO A GOOD HEART? 236 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,422 IT GETS THE S-H-I-T KICKED OUT OF IT." 237 00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,825 - [chuckles] SHE'S JUST KIDDING. 238 00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,927 - I THINK SHE SECRETLY WISHES THAT I WAS MORE LIKE BRIAN. 239 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,229 - NO HEART? 240 00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:04,698 ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT QUALITIES A PERSON CAN HAVE 241 00:11:04,732 --> 00:11:06,700 IS A KIND AND LOVING NATURE. 242 00:11:06,734 --> 00:11:08,802 - I AGREE. 243 00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:12,205 IT'S DEFINITELY SOMETHING WE INTEND TO INSTILL IN GUS. 244 00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,041 - AND SOMETHING WE WANT OUR... 245 00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,710 SECOND CHILD TO HAVE AS WELL. 246 00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:19,346 - YOU'RE HAVING ANOTHER KID? - MM-HMM. 247 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,114 - HEY, GUS, MAKE ANOTHER HAPPY FACE! 248 00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:22,449 YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY BROTHER... 249 00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,785 OR A BABY SISTER. 250 00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:28,455 - AND THIS TIME... I'M GOING TO CARRY IT. 251 00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:29,723 - NO SHIT? 252 00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:30,991 - MAMA... - SORRY. 253 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,994 [laughter] UM, THAT'S GREAT. 254 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,129 - WHICH IS WHY WE ASKED YOU TO STOP BY. 255 00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:37,965 - WHY, YOU WANT ME TO BABY-SIT? 256 00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:40,834 - IT'S A LITTLE EARLY, ISN'T IT? 257 00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:47,975 - WE'D LIKE YOU TO BE THE FATHER. 258 00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:50,744 [baby babbles] 259 00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:53,513 - ME? 260 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,448 - YEAH. 261 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:02,355 - I THINK IT'S GREAT. 262 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:03,824 - YOU DO? 263 00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:05,525 - WHAT, FATHERING A CHILD? 264 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,261 HELPING MELANIE AND LINDSAY CREATE A FAMILY? 265 00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:11,031 - BUT IT'S A BIG RESPONSIBILITY, I MEAN, BRINGING A-- 266 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,033 A HUMAN BEING INTO THE WORLD, YOU KNOW. I-- 267 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,836 I DON'T KNOW IF I'M READY TO BE "THE OLD MAN," YOU KNOW? 268 00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:20,540 - UH...YOU ARE... 269 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:23,844 MORE READY THAN YOU THINK. 270 00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:27,114 YOU WANNA SHOWER? 271 00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:29,917 HUH? 272 00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:32,052 - STILL, IT IS EXCITING, THOUGH, ISN'T IT? 273 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,855 I BETTER NOT FUCK IT UP. - HOW COULD YOU FUCK IT UP? 274 00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:37,991 ALL YOU HAVE TO DO, MICHAEL, IS... 275 00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:41,428 SUPPLY THE SPERM. 276 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,471 - I WISH WE COULD HAVE ONE. 277 00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:55,075 - YEAH. THAT'D BE A FIRST. 278 00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,880 - YOU COULD CARRY IT. 279 00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,348 - AND LOSE MY FIGURE? 280 00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:03,884 - FINE, I'LL CARRY IT. 281 00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:06,353 - I THINK YOU HAVE BEEN WRITING TOO MANY 282 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:12,359 FANTASTICAL ADVENTURES, YOUNG MAN. 283 00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:16,529 - STILL, IT'S A NICE THOUGHT, THOUGH, ISN'T IT? 284 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:38,351 [video game beeping] 285 00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,652 - PUT IT BACK. 286 00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:48,521 I SAID, PUT IT BACK IN THE FUCKING WALLET--NOW. 287 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,123 - WHAT FOR? YOU'VE GOT MORE MONEY 288 00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:51,391 THAN YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH. 289 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,326 - WHO TOLD YOU THAT, YOUR MOMMY? 290 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,995 - SHE SAID YOU WERE A SELFISH SON OF A BITCH 291 00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,997 WHO NEVER GAVE ANYONE IN THIS FAMILY A RED CENT. 292 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,366 - YEAH, I WONDER WHY. NOW HAND IT OVER. 293 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,137 - YOU FUCKING GODDAMN FAGGOT! 294 00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:05,405 YOU AND YOUR FAGGOT FRIENDS ARE GOING TO HELL! 295 00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:07,941 - YEAH, REALLY? WHO TOLD YOU THAT, GRANNY? 296 00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:10,177 - [grunting] 297 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:12,445 YOU TOUCHED MY DICK! - AAH! 298 00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:16,583 YOU LITTLE SHIT! 299 00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:19,086 - OW...OW! AH! 300 00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:24,624 LET ME GO, BUTTFUCKER! 301 00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:28,461 YOU ASSHOLE, LET ME GO! 302 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:33,600 [toilet flushes] 303 00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:41,041 [panting] 304 00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:44,411 - THAT WILL TEACH YOU TO FUCK WITH FAGGOTS. 305 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:48,715 - YOU'RE GONNA BE SORRY! 306 00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:51,951 YOU'RE GONNA BE SO SORRY! 307 00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:57,724 [upbeat pop music] 308 00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:03,630 * 309 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:08,135 - * OH, SWEET, LITTLE DARLING * 310 00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:11,338 * TELL ME, WHAT CAN I DO? * 311 00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:13,373 * MAKE NO MISTAKE 312 00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,108 - WHERE'D YOU FIND THE HUNKY MOVING MEN? 313 00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:18,478 - UNDER "HUNKY MOVING MEN" IN THE GAY YELLOW PAGES. 314 00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:20,347 - ACTUALLY, THEY'RE PINK. 315 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:23,083 - THEY'RE LIBERTY AVENUE'S TOP MOVERS. 316 00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:25,352 - THAT ONE'S A BOTTOM. TRUST ME. 317 00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:27,754 - HE'S A WALKING WET DREAM. 318 00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:29,656 - WELL, DON'T GET TOO TURNED ON. 319 00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:32,692 YOU GOT TO SAVE YOUR CUM TO SQUIRT UP MELANIE'S TWAT. 320 00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:37,097 - OUR LITTLE MIKEY... SIRING AN OFFSPRING. 321 00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:39,132 - DOES THIS MEAN YOU TWO WILL BE RELATED? 322 00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:41,768 - YEAH, LESBIANS ONCE REMOVED. [laughter] 323 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:43,503 - WELL, I THINK IT'S EXCITING, 324 00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,105 BRINGING A KID INTO THE WORLD. 325 00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:46,706 - I KNOW ONE I'D LIKE TO HELP LEAVE. 326 00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:48,775 - YOUR NEPHEW'S JUST GOING THROUGH A PHASE. 327 00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:51,778 - THE SOCIOPATHIC YEARS? 328 00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:55,582 I CAUGHT HIM TRYING TO RIP ME OFF. 329 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,385 - [sighs] 330 00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:01,454 WHO SAYS MOVING'S SUCH A CHORE? 331 00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:03,156 - YOU TWO LOVEBIRDS SHOULD HOLD ON TO YOUR BOXES. 332 00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:06,059 I GIVE IT 24 HOURS. 333 00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:08,395 - * OH, MY PRECIOUS ONE 334 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:12,432 * WHEN I SAY MY PRAYERS AT NIGHT * 335 00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:16,403 * I ASK GOD TO KEEP YOU SAFE * 336 00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:17,737 - OH. OOPS. 337 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,407 - * WHEN YOU'RE OUTTA MY SIGHT * 338 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:24,411 - STUFFED TOMATO. I'M GONNA BE A GRANDMA! 339 00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:28,715 POT PIE. I'M GONNA BE A GRANDMA. 340 00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:30,550 GRILLED CHEESE. I'M GONNA BE A GRANDMA. 341 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,819 - WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE HER STOP? 342 00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,554 - LET HER GLOAT A LITTLE. - I'M GONNA BE A GRANDMA. 343 00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:35,722 - SHE NEVER IN HER WILDEST DREAMS 344 00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:37,357 THOUGHT SHE'D BE A GRANDMA. 345 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,460 - AND HERE HE IS... BIG DADDY! 346 00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:42,295 - YOU'RE BEING A LITTLE PREMATURE, AREN'T YOU? 347 00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:45,498 I MEAN, CAN'T YOU WAIT FOR AT LEAST, SAY, CONCEPTION? 348 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,702 - SO WHEN DO YOU MAKE YOUR FIRST DEPOSIT? 349 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,371 - WE HAVEN'T DISCUSSED IT. 350 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,173 - WELL, THESE THINGS DON'T HAPPEN BY MAGIC. 351 00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,175 THEY TAKE PLANNING AND PREPARATION. 352 00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:56,709 WHAT KIND OF SHORTS ARE YOU WEARING? 353 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,311 - NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 354 00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:00,113 - WELL, MAKE SURE THEY'RE NOT TOO TIGHT... 355 00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:01,848 'CAUSE TIGHTNESS CONSTRICTS YOUR BALLS. 356 00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:03,450 YOU GET A HEAT WAVE DOWN THERE, 357 00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:05,218 AND ALL YOUR LITTLE SOLDIERS'LL BE DECIMATED. 358 00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:07,187 GET YOURSELF SOME FRUIT OF THE LOOMS. 359 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:08,655 BIG, BAGGY BOXERS. 360 00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:11,191 VIC'LL LOAN YOU HIS. - THANKS A LOT. 361 00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:12,525 - AND CUT BACK ON THE SEX, HUH? 362 00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:15,128 YOU GOT TO SAVE UP YOUR PAYLOAD. 363 00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:16,729 - YOU KNOW, I THINK I'LL HIT THE GYM. 364 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,465 VIC, DEBBIE, SEE YOU LATER. 365 00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:20,633 - BYE, HONEY. 366 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,402 - LET ME OUT, SIS. 367 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,671 - WHERE YOU GOING? 368 00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:28,641 - TO GET MICHAEL A PAIR OF MY BIG, BAGGY FRUIT OF THE LOOMS. 369 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:37,150 - BEN! YOU MIND IF I WALK WITH YOU? 370 00:18:37,184 --> 00:18:39,786 - NO. - ALL THAT BABY TALK. 371 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,921 - I-I'M THRILLED FOR MICHAEL AND THE GIRLS. 372 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,823 - I NEVER WANTED KIDS, MYSELF. 373 00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:46,526 - I DID. OF COURSE, THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN NOW. 374 00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,528 - ONE OF THE WAYS WE'RE NOT LIKE "THEM" ANYMORE. 375 00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:52,299 - I TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT. SOME DAYS, I EVEN SUCCEED. 376 00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:53,766 - I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. 377 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,668 BUT THEN SOMETHING ALWAYS HAPPENS TO REMIND ME. 378 00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:58,238 A TOUCH OF THE FLU, SOMEONE DONATING SPERM, 379 00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:00,307 A LOVER WHO DIES... - VIC... 380 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,175 I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 381 00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:08,848 [driving rock music] 382 00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:16,423 * 383 00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:17,924 - TURN AROUND. 384 00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:19,526 SORRY. 385 00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:25,432 * 386 00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:28,468 [both moaning, groaning] 387 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,837 YEAH! OH, YEAH. 388 00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:40,413 - BRIAN KINNEY? 389 00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:43,283 - WHO'S THAT? 390 00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:45,852 OH, YOU CAUGHT ME. 391 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:49,822 - FUCK. [knocks on door] 392 00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:52,425 - WHERE'D WE MEET? 393 00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:54,561 UNIFORM NIGHT AT BABYLON? 394 00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:56,829 I HOPE YOU BROUGHT YOUR, UH... 395 00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,766 HANDCUFFS AND YOUR NIGHTSTICK. 396 00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:02,602 - I'M OFFICER HANDLEY, PITTSBURGH POLICE. 397 00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:06,439 - CHRIST. HUH. YOU'RE FOR REAL. 398 00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:07,974 JESUS. 399 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,410 - YOU NEED TO COME WITH ME TO HEADQUARTERS, MR. KINNEY. 400 00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,383 - NOW YOU'RE SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS? 401 00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:17,784 - THANKS. - BEN AND I WERE UP TALKING 402 00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:19,586 ABOUT IT HALF THE NIGHT. 403 00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,621 I THINK HE'S ALMOST AS EXCITED ABOUT IT AS I AM. 404 00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:24,624 - AND YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT'S REQUIRED? 405 00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:26,893 - YEAH, UNLESS THEY'RE MAKING BABIES A NEW WAY THESE DAYS, 406 00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:29,329 I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA. 407 00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:32,732 - OKAY, THEN ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SIGN THIS. 408 00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:35,868 - "THE DONOR AGREES... 409 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,638 "NO PARENTAL RIGHTS... 410 00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,473 VISITATION STRICTLY BY PERMISSION." 411 00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:41,541 WHAT'S ALL THIS? 412 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:42,775 - IT'S JUST A FORMALITY. 413 00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:44,477 - FOR YOUR PROTECTION AS WELL AS OURS. 414 00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:46,513 - PROTECTION FROM WHAT? 415 00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:47,914 - AS YOU CAN SEE... 416 00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:51,351 SECTION TWO, PARAGRAPH FOUR, 417 00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:53,653 IT RELIEVES YOU OF ANY FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES 418 00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:54,954 WHATSOEVER. 419 00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:56,623 - "ONCE THE PARTY OF THE SECOND PART 420 00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:58,057 "HAS PERFORMED HIS FUNCTION, 421 00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,627 "HE IS FREE OF ANY FURTHER OBLIGA-- 422 00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:03,496 OBLIGATION." 423 00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:04,831 THAT IS A RELIEF, KNOWING THAT I'LL NEVER HAVE 424 00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,499 TO SEE MY OWN KID. 425 00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:07,767 - WELL, YOU'LL KNOW THE BABY, MICHAEL, 426 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,369 AND THE BABY WILL KNOW YOU. 427 00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:10,770 - WELL, SURE, WHEN HE OR SHE IS OLD ENOUGH, 428 00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:12,772 YOU CAN EXPLAIN THAT I'M "THE DONOR." 429 00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:14,941 - THAT IS WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. 430 00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:17,444 - I MUST HAVE HEARD YOU WRONG, BECAUSE I SWEAR YOU SAID 431 00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:20,447 YOU WANTED ME TO BE THE FATHER. 432 00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:25,518 - AFTER WHAT HAPPENED WITH BRIAN 433 00:21:25,552 --> 00:21:26,919 NOT WANTING TO GIVE UP HIS PARENTAL RIGHTS, 434 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,821 I'M SURE YOU UNDERSTAND. 435 00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:33,693 - YEAH, AND I'M BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND HOW HE MUST'VE FELT. 436 00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:35,395 AND I SURE AS HELL UNDERSTAND 437 00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:37,964 HOW A KID FEELS WHO DOESN'T HAVE A DAD, 438 00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:39,466 'CAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE ONE. 439 00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:41,601 SO IF YOU NEED TO DO THIS, YOU KNOW, 440 00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,970 MAKE EVERYTHING LEGAL AND ALL, THEN GO AHEAD. 441 00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:45,838 I MEAN... 442 00:21:45,872 --> 00:21:49,542 YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU, BUT... 443 00:21:49,576 --> 00:21:51,578 SO DO I. 444 00:21:54,481 --> 00:21:55,682 - UHH. 445 00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:58,485 MICHAEL... 446 00:21:58,518 --> 00:22:01,020 - [sighs] 447 00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:04,391 - ALWAYS FINISH A MEAL WITH A SMILE. 448 00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:07,594 HUH? 449 00:22:07,627 --> 00:22:09,028 AND HERE... 450 00:22:09,061 --> 00:22:11,498 USEFUL AND DECORATIVE. 451 00:22:11,531 --> 00:22:13,633 I KNOW ETHAN'S JEWISH, 452 00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:16,736 SO JUST TELL HIM TO IGNORE JESUS ON THE CROSS. 453 00:22:16,769 --> 00:22:20,573 AND THIS IS MY FAVE. 454 00:22:20,607 --> 00:22:22,709 IT'S BEEN IN VIC'S ROOM ALL THESE YEARS. 455 00:22:22,742 --> 00:22:24,444 - BUT I'M WILLING TO PART WITH IT. 456 00:22:24,477 --> 00:22:26,012 - IT'S TO REMIND YOU THAT, WHEREVER YOU ARE, 457 00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:29,449 I'M ALWAYS THERE LOOKING OUT FOR YOU. 458 00:22:29,482 --> 00:22:32,585 - ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT THEM? 459 00:22:32,619 --> 00:22:35,021 - WELL, THEY'RE--THEY'RE FAMILY HEIRLOOMS, BUT, 460 00:22:35,054 --> 00:22:36,656 I MEAN, I KNOW YOU BOYS NEED THINGS, 461 00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:39,125 SO I'M PASSING THEM ON TO YOU AND ETHAN 462 00:22:39,158 --> 00:22:41,628 FOR SAFEKEEPING. 463 00:22:46,633 --> 00:22:49,168 - HI, VIC. - DETECTIVE HORVATH. 464 00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:52,939 SIS, YOUR DICK'S HERE. - HEY! 465 00:22:52,972 --> 00:22:55,808 - HI, HONEY. - HEYA, SWEETMEAT. 466 00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:58,878 - HETEROSEXUAL LOVE. 467 00:22:58,911 --> 00:23:01,714 YOU SEE, JUSTIN, THEY'RE NOT THAT DIFFERENT FROM US. 468 00:23:01,748 --> 00:23:02,782 - I THOUGHT WE WERE ON TOMORROW NIGHT. 469 00:23:02,815 --> 00:23:04,484 - WE ARE. 470 00:23:04,517 --> 00:23:07,487 BUT THERE'S SOMETHING I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW. 471 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,790 ONE OF YOUR LOST BOYS IS IN TROUBLE. 472 00:23:10,823 --> 00:23:13,192 - WHICH ONE? - KINNEY. 473 00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:14,193 - BRIAN? 474 00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,095 SOMETHING HAPPEN TO BRIAN? 475 00:23:16,128 --> 00:23:18,631 - IT SEEMS HIS 12-YEAR-OLD NEPHEW 476 00:23:18,665 --> 00:23:21,968 HAS ACCUSED HIM OF MOLESTING HIM. 477 00:23:22,001 --> 00:23:23,670 - HOLY SHIT. - THAT'S BULLSHIT. 478 00:23:23,703 --> 00:23:25,638 THERE'S NO WAY BRIAN WOULD EVER DO 479 00:23:25,672 --> 00:23:27,674 SOMETHING LIKE THAT. - HAS HE BEEN ARRESTED? 480 00:23:27,707 --> 00:23:29,576 - SO FAR THEY'RE JUST QUESTIONING HIM. 481 00:23:29,609 --> 00:23:31,444 - BRIAN MAY BE A LOT OF THINGS, 482 00:23:31,478 --> 00:23:33,045 AND I'M THE FIRST ONE TO SAY SO, 483 00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:36,649 BUT HE IS NO CHILD MOLESTER. 484 00:23:36,683 --> 00:23:38,084 [dance music] 485 00:23:38,117 --> 00:23:41,087 - [grunting rhythmically] 486 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,122 * 487 00:23:43,155 --> 00:23:46,793 - * ONE BY ONE, DEFENSES FALL * 488 00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:50,229 * ONE BY ONE, YOU'RE MINE * 489 00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:51,798 * ONE BY ONE 490 00:23:51,831 --> 00:23:55,001 - OW! 491 00:23:55,034 --> 00:24:00,540 - * ONE BY ONE, YOU'RE MINE * 492 00:24:00,573 --> 00:24:03,676 - WELCOME HOME, HONEY. HOW WAS WORK? 493 00:24:03,710 --> 00:24:05,578 - OH, THE USUAL. 494 00:24:05,612 --> 00:24:08,815 ORGY, GANG RAPE, ENEMA-THON. 495 00:24:08,848 --> 00:24:10,216 - YOU MUST BE EXHAUSTED. 496 00:24:10,249 --> 00:24:11,818 - YEAH, WELL... 497 00:24:11,851 --> 00:24:13,720 GOT TO KEEP GIVING THOSE WEBSITE MEMBERS 498 00:24:13,753 --> 00:24:16,756 THE KIND OF HIGH-QUALITY ENTERTAINMENT THEY DESERVE. 499 00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:20,560 - * ONE BY ONE, YOU'RE MINE * 500 00:24:20,593 --> 00:24:22,829 - HEY. 501 00:24:22,862 --> 00:24:24,897 SO WHAT'S ALL THIS? 502 00:24:24,931 --> 00:24:27,500 - MY AUNT LULAH'S BILOXI-BATTERED CHICKEN. 503 00:24:27,534 --> 00:24:29,769 SHE USED TO SAY SHE COULD DEEP-FAT-FRY A HORSE APPLE, 504 00:24:29,802 --> 00:24:31,638 AND THEY'D COME RUNNING. 505 00:24:31,671 --> 00:24:35,775 - [chuckles] 506 00:24:35,808 --> 00:24:37,844 AH, WELL, I GUESS I'M JUST GOING TO GO 507 00:24:37,877 --> 00:24:41,581 WASH MY HANDS. 508 00:24:41,614 --> 00:24:44,517 - OH, BY THE WAY, I HUNG A FEW THINGS UP IN THERE TO DRY. 509 00:24:48,020 --> 00:24:49,922 - I SEE. 510 00:24:49,956 --> 00:24:52,024 - WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN AND PUT YOUR FEET UP, HONEY? 511 00:24:52,058 --> 00:24:54,293 DIN-DIN BE READY IN A MIN-MIN! 512 00:24:54,326 --> 00:24:59,031 - RIGHT. 513 00:24:59,065 --> 00:25:01,634 - WHAT--WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LIVING ROOM? 514 00:25:01,668 --> 00:25:05,171 - OH, I-I FENG SHUI-ED IT. 515 00:25:05,204 --> 00:25:08,541 DO YOU LIKE IT? 516 00:25:08,575 --> 00:25:11,911 - WELL, IT REALLY GIVES THE ROOM A FLOW. 517 00:25:27,994 --> 00:25:30,797 UH, MY NAIL. 518 00:25:30,830 --> 00:25:32,031 - WHAT, TEDDY? 519 00:25:32,064 --> 00:25:34,667 - THERE WAS A BENT NAIL RIGHT THERE. 520 00:25:34,701 --> 00:25:37,303 - WHAT, THAT RUSTY, OLD THING? 521 00:25:37,336 --> 00:25:39,972 - YEAH, YEAH, THAT RUSTY, OLD THING, WHERE IS IT? 522 00:25:40,006 --> 00:25:42,842 - WELL, WHILE I WAS FENG SHUI-ING, 523 00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:44,110 IT FELL ON THE FLOOR. 524 00:25:44,143 --> 00:25:45,678 YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT WOULD BE 525 00:25:45,712 --> 00:25:47,079 IF YOU STEPPED ON THAT IN YOUR BARE FEET? 526 00:25:47,113 --> 00:25:48,347 YOU'D NEED A TETANUS SHOT. 527 00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:49,982 - YEAH, WHAT DID YOU DO WITH IT? 528 00:25:50,016 --> 00:25:54,053 - I THREW IT OUT. 529 00:25:54,086 --> 00:25:55,988 IT'S JUST AN OLD NAIL. 530 00:25:56,022 --> 00:25:57,824 - IT'S NOT JUST AN OLD NAIL. 531 00:25:57,857 --> 00:26:00,860 IT'S PAVAROTTI'S OLD NAIL. 532 00:26:00,893 --> 00:26:02,328 BEFORE EVERY PERFORMANCE, 533 00:26:02,361 --> 00:26:03,663 HE HAS TO FIND A BENT NAIL BACKSTAGE FOR GOOD LUCK. 534 00:26:03,696 --> 00:26:05,064 EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. 535 00:26:05,097 --> 00:26:07,066 THE NIGHT HE WAS IN TOWN PERFORMING TURANDOT 536 00:26:07,099 --> 00:26:09,268 AT THE PITTSBURGH OPERA, HE FOUND THAT NAIL, 537 00:26:09,301 --> 00:26:11,704 PICKED IT UP, KISSED IT, THREW IT OVER HIS SHOULDER, 538 00:26:11,738 --> 00:26:13,205 AND I PICKED IT UP. 539 00:26:13,239 --> 00:26:15,007 IT'S BEEN MY GOOD LUCK CHARM EVER SINCE. 540 00:26:15,041 --> 00:26:18,678 NOW IT'S JUST GONE? 541 00:26:18,711 --> 00:26:20,847 - I DIDN'T KNOW. 542 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,381 [music clicks off] 543 00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:23,883 I'M SORRY. 544 00:26:23,916 --> 00:26:25,818 - WELL, YOU HAD NO RIGHT TOUCHING IT. 545 00:26:25,852 --> 00:26:27,353 YOU HAD NO RIGHT TOUCHING ANYTHING! 546 00:26:27,386 --> 00:26:28,821 YOU KNOW, I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU JUST PUT 547 00:26:28,855 --> 00:26:30,289 EVERYTHING BACK THE WAY YOU FOUND IT, 548 00:26:30,322 --> 00:26:31,824 AND THAT INCLUDES REMOVING 549 00:26:31,858 --> 00:26:33,626 YOUR DRIPPING SHORTS FROM MY BATHROOM. 550 00:26:33,660 --> 00:26:36,395 - YOUR BATHROOM? 551 00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:40,099 I'M SORRY, I THOUGHT IT WAS OUR BATHROOM. 552 00:26:40,132 --> 00:26:44,971 IN FACT, I THOUGHT THIS WAS OUR PLACE. 553 00:26:45,004 --> 00:26:50,276 APPARENTLY NOT. 554 00:26:50,309 --> 00:26:55,181 WELL, LIKE YOU SAID, HAVE TO FIND OUT SOONER OR LATER 555 00:26:55,214 --> 00:26:58,417 WHETHER OR NOT WE COULD LIVE TOGETHER. 556 00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:00,653 BETTER TO HAVE FOUND OUT SOONER. 557 00:27:03,890 --> 00:27:05,391 [door shuts] 558 00:27:05,424 --> 00:27:08,127 - HE TOLD THEM YOU MADE HIM SUCK YOUR COCK? 559 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,997 - THAT'S WHAT HE TOLD MY CUNT-SISTER. 560 00:27:11,030 --> 00:27:12,765 THAT'S WHAT MY CUNT-SISTER TOLD THE COPS. 561 00:27:12,799 --> 00:27:14,934 - I GAVE THAT LITTLE ASSHOLE FREE COMICS. 562 00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:17,136 THEY DON'T BELIEVE HIM, DO THEY? 563 00:27:17,169 --> 00:27:19,271 - LISTEN UP, MICHAEL. ARE YOU LISTENING? 564 00:27:19,305 --> 00:27:21,140 - I'M LISTENING. - THEY'RE HETEROSEXUALS. 565 00:27:21,173 --> 00:27:23,409 THEY THINK ALL US PERVERTS ARE AFTER ONLY ONE THING: 566 00:27:23,442 --> 00:27:27,146 TO GET OUR HANDS ON SOME SWEET PIECE OF LITTLE BOY MEAT. 567 00:27:27,179 --> 00:27:28,447 - SO ALL HE HAS TO DO IS ACCUSE YOU, 568 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,016 AND THEY AUTOMATICALLY BELIEVE HIM? 569 00:27:30,049 --> 00:27:31,350 - I DUNNO, BUT NOW I HAVE TO USE THE MONEY 570 00:27:31,383 --> 00:27:33,019 I WAS GOING TO SPEND ON MY BOTOX TREATMENTS 571 00:27:33,052 --> 00:27:35,922 ON SOME GODDAMN $300-AN-HOUR LAWYER. 572 00:27:35,955 --> 00:27:37,924 - THEY'RE NOT GOING TO ARREST YOU, ARE THEY? 573 00:27:37,957 --> 00:27:39,926 - HOW DO I KNOW? GIVE ME... 574 00:27:39,959 --> 00:27:43,195 - SHIT, YOU COULD GO TO PRISON! [keys jingling] 575 00:27:43,229 --> 00:27:45,197 - DON'T GET YOURSELF ALL WORKED UP. 576 00:27:45,231 --> 00:27:46,465 - I'M HALF ITALIAN AND HALF DRAG-QUEEN. 577 00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:48,167 I'M ALLOWED TO GET WORKED UP. 578 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,236 WELL, YOU CAN'T JUST WAIT AROUND 579 00:27:50,269 --> 00:27:53,940 FOR THEM TO COME AND TAKE YOU AWAY. 580 00:27:53,973 --> 00:27:57,910 - I DON'T INTEND TO. [tires squealing] 581 00:27:57,944 --> 00:28:00,880 [doorbell rings] 582 00:28:04,984 --> 00:28:07,053 - OH, SHIT. - OPEN THE DOOR. 583 00:28:07,086 --> 00:28:08,921 - GO AWAY OR I'LL CALL THE POLICE, YOU SON OF A BITCH. 584 00:28:08,955 --> 00:28:12,792 - I SAID OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR! 585 00:28:12,825 --> 00:28:16,228 WHERE IS HE? - GET OUT OF HERE, BRIAN! 586 00:28:16,262 --> 00:28:19,265 - [laughs] 587 00:28:19,298 --> 00:28:20,466 JOHN! 588 00:28:20,499 --> 00:28:22,735 GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE, YOU LITTLE FUCK. 589 00:28:22,769 --> 00:28:23,936 - WHAT, YOU THINK I'M GOING TO LET YOU 590 00:28:23,970 --> 00:28:25,938 GO NEAR HIM, YOU SICK PERVERT? 591 00:28:25,972 --> 00:28:28,207 [sirens wailing] 592 00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:32,511 - YOU THINK I ACTUALLY MOLESTED YOUR SON? 593 00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:35,748 YOU KNOW, MAYBE IF YOU HAD ASKED ME 594 00:28:35,782 --> 00:28:38,017 BEFORE YOU CALLED THE COPS... - WHY SHOULD I? 595 00:28:38,050 --> 00:28:39,819 AND WHY WOULD HE MAKE IT UP? 596 00:28:39,852 --> 00:28:42,955 - BECAUSE YOUR KID IS A TWISTED, FAG-HATING LIAR, CLAIRE. 597 00:28:42,989 --> 00:28:48,527 THAT'S WHY. WHO'D HE LEARN THAT FROM? 598 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:49,862 OH. 599 00:28:49,896 --> 00:28:51,964 ENTER MOM, STAGE LEFT. 600 00:28:51,998 --> 00:28:54,967 - YOU HAVE A HELL OF A NERVE, SHOWING YOUR FACE. 601 00:28:55,001 --> 00:28:56,836 - AH. NICE TO SEE YOU TOO. 602 00:28:56,869 --> 00:28:58,270 WHAT? DON'T I GET A KISS? 603 00:28:58,304 --> 00:29:00,306 - STAY AWAY FROM ME. - DON'T WORRY. 604 00:29:00,339 --> 00:29:02,041 YOU'RE NOT MY TYPE. - GOD ONLY KNOWS 605 00:29:02,074 --> 00:29:03,509 WHAT PERMANENT DAMAGE YOU'VE DONE TO HIM. 606 00:29:03,542 --> 00:29:05,044 - WHAT? THAT YOU HAVEN'T DONE ALREADY? 607 00:29:05,077 --> 00:29:06,278 - YOU OUGHT TO BE LOCKED UP. PUT AWAY. 608 00:29:06,312 --> 00:29:08,848 - THANKS, OLD SPORT. [glass clinks] 609 00:29:08,881 --> 00:29:10,382 HAVE ANOTHER. 610 00:29:10,416 --> 00:29:12,451 - AND IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT, YOU WILL BE. 611 00:29:12,484 --> 00:29:15,521 - HOW COULD YOU? - HOW COULD I WHAT? 612 00:29:15,554 --> 00:29:20,126 MAKE LITTLE JOHNNY SUCK MY DICK? 613 00:29:20,159 --> 00:29:23,262 I'M GOING TO FIND YOU, YOU LITTLE SACK OF SHIT! 614 00:29:23,295 --> 00:29:25,898 AND THIS TIME, YOU WON'T BE COMING UP FOR AIR! 615 00:29:25,932 --> 00:29:27,166 - DID YOU HEAR THAT, MOTHER? 616 00:29:27,199 --> 00:29:29,035 HE JUST THREATENED HIM! 617 00:29:29,068 --> 00:29:30,036 I'M CALLING THE POLICE. 618 00:29:30,069 --> 00:29:31,270 - GO AHEAD, SIS. 619 00:29:31,303 --> 00:29:34,540 TELL 'EM I'M A DEPRAVED MONSTER. 620 00:29:34,573 --> 00:29:36,442 A GODLESS FAG, RIGHT, MOM? 621 00:29:36,475 --> 00:29:37,877 - IF YOU THINK YOU'RE GETTING A REACTION 622 00:29:37,910 --> 00:29:39,545 FROM ME, YOU'RE NOT. 623 00:29:39,578 --> 00:29:43,449 HOWEVER, I WILL SAY, KNOWING THE KIND OF LIFE YOU LIVE, 624 00:29:43,482 --> 00:29:47,286 THE TYPE OF PEOPLE YOU ASSOCIATE WITH, 625 00:29:47,319 --> 00:29:50,056 I'M NOT SURPRISED. 626 00:29:50,089 --> 00:29:55,427 IT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON THE LORD. 627 00:29:55,461 --> 00:29:58,330 - FUCK THE LORD. 628 00:30:02,334 --> 00:30:05,972 AND FUCK YOU. 629 00:30:17,884 --> 00:30:20,386 - I TOLD MY MOM NOT TO GET HER HOPES UP, 630 00:30:20,419 --> 00:30:23,956 AND THEN SHE HAS TO GO AND TELL EVERYBODY. 631 00:30:23,990 --> 00:30:25,925 NOW SHE'LL PROBABLY BE ALL DISAPPOINTED 632 00:30:25,958 --> 00:30:28,360 AND MOPE AROUND FOR DAYS. 633 00:30:30,997 --> 00:30:33,332 - GOOD THING YOU'RE NOT LIKE HER. 634 00:30:33,365 --> 00:30:36,068 - YEAH. 635 00:30:36,102 --> 00:30:37,937 - [chuckles] 636 00:30:37,970 --> 00:30:40,206 OH, IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION, 637 00:30:40,239 --> 00:30:41,640 I'M DISAPPOINTED TOO. 638 00:30:41,673 --> 00:30:45,411 I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO BEING UNCLE BEN. 639 00:30:45,444 --> 00:30:48,080 - LIKE THE RICE. 640 00:30:48,114 --> 00:30:50,883 - PROBABLY THE CLOSEST I'LL EVER COME TO BEING A DAD. 641 00:30:55,654 --> 00:30:58,224 - I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WANTED TO BE ONE. 642 00:30:58,257 --> 00:30:59,391 - IT WAS ALWAYS A THOUGHT, BUT I NEVER KNEW 643 00:30:59,425 --> 00:31:01,928 HOW MUCH I WANTED IT 644 00:31:01,961 --> 00:31:02,962 UNTIL I COULDN'T. 645 00:31:02,995 --> 00:31:06,098 [door opens] 646 00:31:06,132 --> 00:31:08,534 - SHIT. 647 00:31:08,567 --> 00:31:12,538 THERE'S SOMEBODY IN THE APARTMENT. 648 00:31:12,571 --> 00:31:18,177 [shuffling] 649 00:31:18,210 --> 00:31:20,446 JESUS, EM. WHAT'S GOING ON? 650 00:31:20,479 --> 00:31:23,015 WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK? 651 00:31:24,450 --> 00:31:26,685 - BRIAN WAS RIGHT. 652 00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:30,289 GOOD THING I SAVED THE BOXES. 653 00:31:36,562 --> 00:31:39,465 [dance music] 654 00:31:39,498 --> 00:31:47,439 * 655 00:31:52,211 --> 00:31:55,681 [laughter] 656 00:31:55,714 --> 00:31:59,285 * 657 00:31:59,318 --> 00:32:04,290 - * DO YOU THINK YOU CAN RESCUE ME ? 658 00:32:04,323 --> 00:32:07,026 * RESCUE ME, RESCUE ME * 659 00:32:07,059 --> 00:32:08,227 - HEY, WHERE'S YOUR WIFE? 660 00:32:08,260 --> 00:32:11,163 - SHE WENT HOME TO HER MOTHER. 661 00:32:11,197 --> 00:32:12,698 - LESS THAN 24 HOURS? 662 00:32:12,731 --> 00:32:15,334 WOW, IT SURPASSED EVEN MY OWN PREDICTIONS. 663 00:32:15,367 --> 00:32:16,735 - CONGRATULATIONS, YOU MUST FEEL 664 00:32:16,768 --> 00:32:19,205 AN OVERWHELMING SENSE OF SATISFACTION. 665 00:32:19,238 --> 00:32:20,973 - NAH, WHAT I FEEL IS 666 00:32:21,007 --> 00:32:23,175 AN OVERWHELMING SENSE OF DISGUST, 667 00:32:23,209 --> 00:32:26,045 SEEING TWO PATHETIC FAGS TRYING TO TURN THEMSELVES 668 00:32:26,078 --> 00:32:27,479 INTO SOMETHING EVEN MORE PATHETIC: 669 00:32:27,513 --> 00:32:30,716 TWO HAPPILY MARRIED HETEROSEXUALS. 670 00:32:30,749 --> 00:32:34,486 - IT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. 671 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:36,255 YOU KNOW, IT'S GOT TO DO WITH SOMETHING 672 00:32:36,288 --> 00:32:39,525 US LOWER LIFE FORMS GENERALLY REFER TO AS "LOVE." 673 00:32:39,558 --> 00:32:41,327 JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T COMPREHEND THAT 674 00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:43,195 DOESN'T MEAN THE REST OF US SHOULD BE CONDEMNED 675 00:32:43,229 --> 00:32:46,498 TO LIVE OUT OUR LIVES IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT, 676 00:32:46,532 --> 00:32:50,069 OUR HEARTS BANISHED TO ONE OF JUPITER'S ICE MOONS. 677 00:32:50,102 --> 00:32:53,272 - WHOA, THAT WAS VERY POETIC 678 00:32:53,305 --> 00:32:55,541 FOR A FORMER ACCOUNTANT. 679 00:32:55,574 --> 00:32:57,276 I SINCERELY HOPE YOU FIND THE DREAM 680 00:32:57,309 --> 00:32:59,078 THAT SATISFIES YOUR EXISTENCE. 681 00:32:59,111 --> 00:33:02,281 BUT UNTIL THEN, WHY DON'T YOU LET ME BUY YOU A DRINK? 682 00:33:02,314 --> 00:33:06,218 - FUCK OFF. 683 00:33:06,252 --> 00:33:07,553 - THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 684 00:33:07,586 --> 00:33:13,125 * 685 00:33:13,159 --> 00:33:15,094 - YEAH. YEAH. 686 00:33:15,127 --> 00:33:18,664 YEAH. 687 00:33:21,567 --> 00:33:23,535 - HEY. - HEY. 688 00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,449 YOU'RE A LITTLE YOUNG FOR ME. 689 00:33:37,483 --> 00:33:40,152 - THAT'S NOT WHAT I HEARD. 690 00:33:42,488 --> 00:33:45,424 [arcade hubbub] 691 00:34:01,173 --> 00:34:03,342 - YEAH, MOTHERFUCKERS, DIE. 692 00:34:03,375 --> 00:34:04,743 [gunfire] 693 00:34:04,776 --> 00:34:06,578 - HOW'S CHOIR PRACTICE? 694 00:34:06,612 --> 00:34:09,415 - WHO ARE YOU? - I'M A FRIEND OF YOUR UNCLE'S. 695 00:34:09,448 --> 00:34:11,417 - ANOTHER FAG? 696 00:34:11,450 --> 00:34:14,153 GET AWAY FROM ME OR I'LL CALL THE POLICE. 697 00:34:14,186 --> 00:34:16,322 - WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TELL 'EM? 698 00:34:16,355 --> 00:34:18,357 THAT I MADE YOU SUCK ME OFF TOO? 699 00:34:18,390 --> 00:34:20,692 - WHAT DO YOU WANT? - I WANT THE TRUTH. 700 00:34:20,726 --> 00:34:22,561 - I ALREADY TOLD THE TRUTH. 701 00:34:22,594 --> 00:34:25,097 HE OFFERED ME MONEY, BUT I WOULDN'T DO IT. 702 00:34:25,131 --> 00:34:26,465 DID HE OFFER YOU MONEY TOO? 703 00:34:26,498 --> 00:34:28,700 - HA. HE DIDN'T HAVE TO. 704 00:34:28,734 --> 00:34:30,436 I WOULD'VE PAID HIM. 705 00:34:30,469 --> 00:34:32,871 IF YOU DON'T ADMIT THAT YOU'RE LYING, 706 00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:35,307 THAT YOU MADE ALL OF THIS UP, BRIAN COULD GO TO JAIL. 707 00:34:35,341 --> 00:34:39,378 - GOOD, THEN HE'D GET RAPED BY A GANG OF BLACK GUYS. 708 00:34:39,411 --> 00:34:43,449 - YOUR MOTHER MUST SUBSCRIBE TO HBO. 709 00:34:43,482 --> 00:34:46,718 - WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! 710 00:34:46,752 --> 00:34:49,621 - THAT'S A COOL BRACELET. 711 00:34:53,692 --> 00:34:56,462 - MAYBE THE TERMS OF THE AGREEMENT WERE A BIT HARSH. 712 00:34:56,495 --> 00:34:58,464 - I WAS ONLY TRYING TO PROTECT US. 713 00:34:58,497 --> 00:35:00,199 - BUT MICHAEL'S NOT BRIAN. 714 00:35:00,232 --> 00:35:01,767 THAT'S WHY WE CHOSE HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE. 715 00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:03,902 - I SAY WE GET A GENIUS FROM THE SPERM BANK. 716 00:35:03,935 --> 00:35:06,605 IT'S EASIER. - FOR WHO, MEL? OUR KID? 717 00:35:06,638 --> 00:35:09,208 NEVER KNOWING ITS DAD, EXCEPT BY A NUMBER? 718 00:35:09,241 --> 00:35:11,810 - I'M NOT HAVING A REPEAT OF WHAT WE WENT THROUGH WITH BRIAN. 719 00:35:11,843 --> 00:35:14,146 - I JUST SAID MICHAEL'S NOT BRIAN. 720 00:35:14,180 --> 00:35:15,647 ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME? 721 00:35:15,681 --> 00:35:17,883 - BABY, THE ENTIRE STREET'S LISTENING TO YOU. 722 00:35:17,916 --> 00:35:21,620 - IT'S NOT ABOUT MICHAEL OR WHO THE FATHER WILL BE. 723 00:35:21,653 --> 00:35:24,356 IT'S ABOUT TRUST-- TRUSTING TO FATE, 724 00:35:24,390 --> 00:35:26,558 TRUSTING TO GOD, 725 00:35:26,592 --> 00:35:29,561 TO THE OB-GYN, THAT SOMEHOW EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT. 726 00:35:29,595 --> 00:35:31,363 NOW, IF YOU CAN'T ACCEPT THAT, 727 00:35:31,397 --> 00:35:33,299 MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE A BABY. 728 00:35:33,332 --> 00:35:35,667 MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP RIGHT NOW. 729 00:35:35,701 --> 00:35:38,637 - KEEP COMING. KEEP COMING. 730 00:35:38,670 --> 00:35:40,672 LITTLE MORE. A LITTLE BIT. 731 00:35:40,706 --> 00:35:44,510 - [sighs] 732 00:35:44,543 --> 00:35:47,513 [CD player playing music] 733 00:35:47,546 --> 00:35:53,419 * 734 00:35:53,452 --> 00:35:57,256 [CD player shuts off] 735 00:35:57,289 --> 00:35:58,390 - WHAT'S UP? 736 00:35:58,424 --> 00:35:59,725 - HOW ABOUT YOU TELLING US? 737 00:35:59,758 --> 00:36:01,527 - LET ME HANDLE THIS, DEBBIE. 738 00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:03,962 DETECTIVE CARL HORVATH, 739 00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:05,664 PITTSBURGH P.D. 740 00:36:05,697 --> 00:36:07,466 I UNDERSTAND YOU'VE MADE SOME ALLEGATIONS 741 00:36:07,499 --> 00:36:10,869 RECENTLY REGARDING YOUR UNCLE, BRIAN KINNEY. 742 00:36:10,902 --> 00:36:13,205 - HE MADE ME DO THINGS TO HIM. 743 00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:15,941 - THAT'S A PRETTY SERIOUS CHARGE, SON, IF IT'S TRUE. 744 00:36:15,974 --> 00:36:17,543 - I'M NOT LYING. 745 00:36:17,576 --> 00:36:19,545 - HE SAID YOU MADE IT UP BECAUSE HE FOUND YOU 746 00:36:19,578 --> 00:36:21,280 STEALING MONEY FROM HIS WALLET. 747 00:36:21,313 --> 00:36:24,216 - HE'S THE LIAR. 748 00:36:24,250 --> 00:36:26,985 - YOU ALSO TOOK SOME KIND OF BRACELET WITH SHELLS. 749 00:36:27,018 --> 00:36:29,688 - I DON'T HAVE ANY STUPID BRACELET. 750 00:36:29,721 --> 00:36:31,590 - I SAW YOU WEARING IT TODAY AT THE ARCADE. 751 00:36:31,623 --> 00:36:33,825 - WHY SHOULD ANYONE BELIEVE YOU? 752 00:36:33,859 --> 00:36:35,227 - JOHN, IS THAT THE BRACELET 753 00:36:35,261 --> 00:36:36,828 YOU HAD ON THIS MORNING AT BREAKFAST? 754 00:36:36,862 --> 00:36:38,330 - MOM, WOULD YOU SHUT UP? 755 00:36:38,364 --> 00:36:39,898 - WELL, YOU SAID YOU GOT IT AT THE MALL. 756 00:36:39,931 --> 00:36:42,768 - I BOUGHT IT WITH MY ALLOWANCE 757 00:36:42,801 --> 00:36:45,571 AT THAT STORE ACROSS FROM THE PET SHOP. 758 00:36:45,604 --> 00:36:47,873 - LET'S SEE THE BRACELET, SON. 759 00:36:47,906 --> 00:36:49,508 - I DON'T HAVE IT. I LOST IT. 760 00:36:49,541 --> 00:36:52,911 - [sighs] SHOW IT TO HIM. 761 00:37:07,693 --> 00:37:10,596 - BRIAN GOT IT IN MEXICO. 762 00:37:10,629 --> 00:37:12,631 HIS INITIALS ARE CARVED ON ONE OF THE SHELLS. 763 00:37:12,664 --> 00:37:13,999 - MM-HMM. 764 00:37:14,032 --> 00:37:16,668 - I WANT THE TRUTH, JOHN. 765 00:37:16,702 --> 00:37:18,504 NOW YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH. 766 00:37:18,537 --> 00:37:23,675 NOW DID BRIAN REALLY DO WHAT YOU SAID HE DID? 767 00:37:23,709 --> 00:37:25,511 - HE'S A FAG, LIKE YOU SAID. 768 00:37:25,544 --> 00:37:28,314 A GODDAMN FAG. 769 00:37:29,648 --> 00:37:32,784 - SHAME ON YOU. 770 00:37:39,558 --> 00:37:43,529 [door shuts] BUT MOST OF ALL, SHAME ON YOU. 771 00:37:48,967 --> 00:37:50,702 - AND THIS HULK FROM 1988 772 00:37:50,736 --> 00:37:52,671 HAS A REALLY COOL BATTLE WITH WOLVERINE 773 00:37:52,704 --> 00:37:55,574 AND SOME GREAT ART BY TODD MACFARLANE. 774 00:38:00,879 --> 00:38:02,348 HI. - HOPE WE DIDN'T COME 775 00:38:02,381 --> 00:38:03,649 AT A BAD TIME. 776 00:38:03,682 --> 00:38:05,651 - NO, I WAS JUST ADVISING A COLLECTOR. 777 00:38:05,684 --> 00:38:08,654 HE'S ACTUALLY ONE OF MY BEST CUSTOMERS. 778 00:38:08,687 --> 00:38:10,456 - THEN WE WON'T STAY TOO LONG. 779 00:38:10,489 --> 00:38:12,057 MICHAEL, ABOUT THE AGREEMENT-- 780 00:38:12,090 --> 00:38:13,392 - LOOK, I ALREADY TOLD YOU, I-- 781 00:38:13,425 --> 00:38:15,394 - WE KNOW. 782 00:38:15,427 --> 00:38:17,463 THAT'S WHY WE DECIDED TO AMEND 783 00:38:17,496 --> 00:38:22,434 SOME OF THE FINE POINTS. 784 00:38:22,468 --> 00:38:25,003 - PROVIDED YOU FULFILL YOUR FUNCTION, 785 00:38:25,036 --> 00:38:29,441 YOU WILL HEREWITH BE REFERRED TO AS THE FATHER. 786 00:38:33,979 --> 00:38:36,848 - SO WHAT DO YOU SAY, DAD? 787 00:38:41,587 --> 00:38:43,088 [laughter] 788 00:38:43,121 --> 00:38:47,993 - OH! [laughter] 789 00:38:57,503 --> 00:39:00,606 - MIND IF I HAVE A DRINK? 790 00:39:00,639 --> 00:39:02,974 - NAME ON THE DOOR'S "WOODY'S," NOT "EMMETT'S." 791 00:39:03,008 --> 00:39:08,046 - GREY GOOSE AND TONIC. 792 00:39:08,079 --> 00:39:09,848 EM-- - SAVE YOUR BREATH. 793 00:39:09,881 --> 00:39:11,016 IT'S QUITE OBVIOUS YOU AND I 794 00:39:11,049 --> 00:39:12,584 WERE NOT MEANT TO LIVE TOGETHER. 795 00:39:12,618 --> 00:39:14,653 - LOOK, I'M SORRY THAT I GOT UPSET. 796 00:39:14,686 --> 00:39:16,522 - UPSET? TRY "WENT BALLISTIC." 797 00:39:16,555 --> 00:39:18,457 - JUST, I'M KIND OF FINICKY... 798 00:39:18,490 --> 00:39:20,726 - FINICKY IS WHEN YOU TURN YOUR NOSE UP AT FRISKIES. 799 00:39:20,759 --> 00:39:22,728 - WHEN IT COMES TO MY THINGS. 800 00:39:22,761 --> 00:39:24,463 - AND WHY SHOULDN'T YOU BE, HONEY? 801 00:39:24,496 --> 00:39:25,864 IT'S YOUR PLACE. 802 00:39:25,897 --> 00:39:27,466 SO, IN THE FUTURE, 803 00:39:27,499 --> 00:39:31,169 DON'T ASK SOMEONE TO MOVE IN WITH YOU. 804 00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:32,938 - LOOK, AFTER YOU LEFT, 805 00:39:32,971 --> 00:39:35,140 I WALKED UP AND DOWN LIBERTY AVENUE. 806 00:39:35,173 --> 00:39:36,475 I FINALLY ENDED UP AT THE DINER 807 00:39:36,508 --> 00:39:37,909 WITH A STALE LEMON BAR 808 00:39:37,943 --> 00:39:39,611 AND A COPY OF LAST WEEK'S PITTSBURGH OUT. 809 00:39:39,645 --> 00:39:41,079 HAVE YOU SEEN IT? 810 00:39:41,112 --> 00:39:42,881 - IS THE HEADLINE, "FINICKY BOYFRIEND GOES BERSERK"? 811 00:39:42,914 --> 00:39:44,483 - ACTUALLY, THERE'S AN INTERESTING LETTER 812 00:39:44,516 --> 00:39:46,752 TO "DEAR ABS" IN HERE. 813 00:39:46,785 --> 00:39:48,520 - DON'T TELL ME YOU READ THAT SILLY QUEEN. 814 00:39:48,554 --> 00:39:50,822 - GO ON. 815 00:39:55,694 --> 00:39:58,497 - "DEAR ABS, MY BOYFRIEND JUST MOVED IN WITH ME, 816 00:39:58,530 --> 00:40:00,899 "AND HE'S TAKEN OVER. 817 00:40:00,932 --> 00:40:04,770 "HE EVEN MOVED THE LUBE TO THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE BED. 818 00:40:04,803 --> 00:40:09,641 HELP. ATTA LOSS." 819 00:40:09,675 --> 00:40:12,143 SO? - NOW HIS ANSWER. 820 00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,115 - "DEAR ATTA, 821 00:40:17,148 --> 00:40:20,051 "GET A NEW PLACE THAT'S BOTH OF YOURS, 822 00:40:20,085 --> 00:40:23,922 "UNLESS YOU WANT TO JACK OFF ALONE. 823 00:40:23,955 --> 00:40:26,725 "AND AS FOR THE LUBE, I SUGGEST YOU LET 824 00:40:26,758 --> 00:40:29,461 YOUR BOYFRIEND PUT IT WHEREVER HE WANTS." 825 00:40:32,598 --> 00:40:34,566 - NOW THERE MUST HAVE BEEN A REASON I WAS READING THAT 826 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:36,735 AT 2:00 IN THE MORNING. 827 00:40:36,768 --> 00:40:38,937 I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU, EM, 828 00:40:38,970 --> 00:40:41,540 BUT THERE'S NO WAY WE CAN LIVE TOGETHER AT MY PLACE. 829 00:40:41,573 --> 00:40:42,841 - YESTERDAY'S NEWS. 830 00:40:42,874 --> 00:40:46,678 - SO I SUGGEST WE TAKE DEAR ABS' ADVICE 831 00:40:46,712 --> 00:40:48,747 AND GET OUR PLACE-- 832 00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:52,083 A SPACE BIG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO FENG SHUI YOUR HEART OUT 833 00:40:52,117 --> 00:40:55,721 AND FOR ME TO CLOSE THE DOOR AND TRY AND HIT A HIGH "C" 834 00:40:55,754 --> 00:40:59,024 ALONG WITH PAVAROTTI IF I WANT TO. 835 00:40:59,057 --> 00:41:04,095 IN FACT, I WAS THINKING OF A HOUSE. 836 00:41:04,129 --> 00:41:06,097 - A HOUSE? 837 00:41:06,131 --> 00:41:08,834 - WITH A BACKYARD AND ROOMS FOR YOU TO DECORATE. 838 00:41:08,867 --> 00:41:10,569 - DECORATE? 839 00:41:10,602 --> 00:41:12,838 - IT'S THE BEST INVESTMENT ONE CAN MAKE. 840 00:41:12,871 --> 00:41:14,239 I MEAN, BESIDES BEING A GREAT DEDUCTION, 841 00:41:14,272 --> 00:41:16,007 IT'S A PROVEN HEDGE AGAINST INFLATION 842 00:41:16,041 --> 00:41:18,510 AND AN UNSTABLE ECONOMY. 843 00:41:20,278 --> 00:41:22,714 SO... 844 00:41:22,748 --> 00:41:24,650 WHAT DO YOU SAY? 845 00:41:24,683 --> 00:41:29,621 - I SAY THOSE ARE THE MOST ROMANTIC WORDS I EVER HEARD. 846 00:41:29,655 --> 00:41:31,823 - YEAH? 847 00:41:42,100 --> 00:41:43,802 - ARE YOU COUNTING OFF HOW MANY SHOPPING DAYS LEFT 848 00:41:43,835 --> 00:41:45,036 TILL CHRISTMAS? 849 00:41:45,070 --> 00:41:47,939 - IT'S MELANIE'S OVULATION CYCLE. 850 00:41:47,973 --> 00:41:51,677 - AND WHAT A PERFECT SPOT FOR IT, RIGHT BESIDE OUR BED. 851 00:41:51,710 --> 00:41:54,880 - WELL, IT'S TO REMIND ME WHEN WE CAN DO IT 852 00:41:54,913 --> 00:41:56,648 AND WHEN WE CAN'T. 853 00:41:56,682 --> 00:41:58,016 - WHOEVER THOUGHT OUR SEX LIFE 854 00:41:58,049 --> 00:42:00,619 WOULD BE RULED BY A FERTILITY CHART? 855 00:42:00,652 --> 00:42:02,020 - WELL, NOW THAT I'M GOING TO BE A FATHER, 856 00:42:02,053 --> 00:42:03,321 WITH FULL CREDIT AND EVERYTHING, 857 00:42:03,354 --> 00:42:05,090 I GOTTA BE EXTRA-SPECIAL RESPONSIBLE. 858 00:42:05,123 --> 00:42:08,159 TONIGHT LOOKS GOOD, THOUGH. YOU UP FOR IT? 859 00:42:08,193 --> 00:42:09,928 - YEAH, SOON AS I GET BACK FROM THE GYM. 860 00:42:09,961 --> 00:42:13,164 - WAIT, YOU'RE GOING TO THE GYM AGAIN? 861 00:42:13,198 --> 00:42:15,166 WELL, DON'T BE LATE. 862 00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,636 - MISS MY WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY? 863 00:42:17,669 --> 00:42:19,605 - [hums] 864 00:42:22,874 --> 00:42:25,677 - HMM...BYE. 865 00:43:00,779 --> 00:43:05,583 - I BELIEVE THIS BELONGS TO YOU. 866 00:43:08,787 --> 00:43:11,222 - THANKS. 867 00:43:11,256 --> 00:43:14,993 - ANY TIME. 868 00:43:16,327 --> 00:43:20,031 HERE. 869 00:43:22,033 --> 00:43:24,636 - [clears throat] 870 00:43:38,016 --> 00:43:41,787 SHOULDN'T YOU BE GETTING BACK TO YOUR BOYFRIEND? 871 00:43:44,455 --> 00:43:48,126 - YEAH. 872 00:43:48,159 --> 00:43:51,129 [funk music] 873 00:43:51,162 --> 00:43:59,070 * 874 00:44:16,788 --> 00:44:21,226 - * NEVER BEEN KISSED, SOMETHING I MISSED * 875 00:44:21,259 --> 00:44:24,763 * OR I CAN'T REMEMBER WHEN 876 00:44:24,796 --> 00:44:28,233 * MAYBE I FORGOT ALL YOU TAUGHT * 877 00:44:28,266 --> 00:44:32,070 * NOW IT'S THE FIRST TIME AGAIN * 878 00:44:32,103 --> 00:44:36,808 * DIFFERENT STORIES, SEPARATE COUNTRIES * 879 00:44:36,842 --> 00:44:40,779 * BORDERS DISAPPEAR, DON'T BE MISLED * 880 00:44:40,812 --> 00:44:42,914 * BY WHAT I SAID 881 00:44:42,948 --> 00:44:47,786 * YOU KNOW THE ONLY PLACE I WANT TO BE IS HERE * 882 00:44:47,819 --> 00:44:52,390 * IF WE SHARED A BODY, WE COULD BE ONE * 883 00:44:52,423 --> 00:44:56,061 * THE FIRST TIME AGAIN 884 00:44:56,094 --> 00:45:00,365 * IF WE SHARED A BODY, WE COULD BE ONE * 885 00:45:00,398 --> 00:45:03,034 * THE FIRST TIME AGAIN 886 00:45:03,068 --> 00:45:10,976 * 887 00:45:12,911 --> 00:45:16,848 * CAN IT BE TRUE? PASSING TIME * 888 00:45:16,882 --> 00:45:20,852 * OR IS IT JUST INSIDE MY MIND? * 889 00:45:20,886 --> 00:45:22,888 * THE ONLY GOVERNMENT 890 00:45:22,921 --> 00:45:28,226 * I'D OVERTHROW IS THE TYRANNY OF TIME * 891 00:45:28,259 --> 00:45:31,763 * VOWS WE MAKE IN SORROW AND PAIN * 892 00:45:31,797 --> 00:45:34,399 * ETCHED ON SOULS LIKE SIN 893 00:45:34,432 --> 00:45:36,101 * 894 00:45:36,134 --> 00:45:39,437 * TATTOOS OF PAST LOVERS' NAMES * 895 00:45:39,470 --> 00:45:43,975 * EASIER TO GET OFF YOUR SKIN * 896 00:45:44,009 --> 00:45:48,847 * IF WE SHARED A BODY, WE COULD BE ONE * 897 00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:51,850 * THE FIRST TIME AGAIN 898 00:45:51,883 --> 00:45:57,255 * IF WE SHARED A BODY, WE COULD BE ONE * 899 00:45:57,288 --> 00:46:00,158 * THE FIRST TIME AGAIN 900 00:46:00,191 --> 00:46:05,030 * IF WE SHARED A BODY, WE COULD BE ONE * 901 00:46:05,063 --> 00:46:08,066 * THE FIRST TIME AGAIN 902 00:46:08,099 --> 00:46:13,038 * IF WE SHARED A BODY, WE COULD BE ONE * 903 00:46:13,071 --> 00:46:16,374 * THE FIRST TIME AGAIN 63586

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.