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Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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00:01:23,968 --> 00:01:25,870
I have a theory:
4
00:01:25,903 --> 00:01:28,738
hating someone feels
disturbingly like falling in
5
00:01:28,773 --> 00:01:30,507
love with them.
6
00:01:31,175 --> 00:01:34,846
Your stomach twists and flips,
your appetite and sleep are
7
00:01:34,879 --> 00:01:37,815
shredded, your heart
beats heavy and bright,
8
00:01:37,849 --> 00:01:40,117
nearly visible through
your flesh and clothes.
9
00:01:40,151 --> 00:01:41,919
Can you please
hold the elevator?
10
00:01:41,953 --> 00:01:43,120
- Sorry.
- Ooh!
11
00:01:43,154 --> 00:01:44,922
Already in motion.
12
00:01:44,956 --> 00:01:46,090
But...
13
00:01:46,123 --> 00:01:47,792
Every interaction
spikes your blood with
14
00:01:47,825 --> 00:01:48,658
adrenaline...
15
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:49,861
Ugh!
16
00:01:49,894 --> 00:01:52,395
And your body is
barely under your control.
17
00:01:53,496 --> 00:01:56,067
This used to be the
home of Gamin Publishing,
18
00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:59,904
known for its insistence
on literature as art...
19
00:01:59,937 --> 00:02:02,073
until a year ago,
faced with bankruptcy,
20
00:02:02,106 --> 00:02:04,942
it was forced to
merge with Bexley Books,
21
00:02:04,976 --> 00:02:08,012
an evil empire known for
ghostwritten autobiographies of
22
00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:10,547
brain-damaged sports stars.
23
00:02:11,215 --> 00:02:15,719
Make no mistake: the
Bexleys and Gamins are at war.
24
00:02:22,193 --> 00:02:25,196
As for American Psycho over
there playing the copycat game
25
00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:28,498
for no reason but
to piss me off...
26
00:02:28,531 --> 00:02:31,936
yeah, hate him with a passion.
27
00:02:34,038 --> 00:02:36,207
I mean, sure, he's
easy on the eyes,
28
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,575
but don't let that fool you.
29
00:02:38,608 --> 00:02:39,877
As Shakespeare would say:
30
00:02:39,911 --> 00:02:42,880
Sometimes, fair is foul.
31
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:27,058
My reasons for hating
Joshua Templeman are several.
32
00:03:27,091 --> 00:03:28,893
One: I have never
seen him smile.
33
00:03:28,926 --> 00:03:30,094
Oh, hi!
34
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:30,928
You must be Josh.
35
00:03:30,962 --> 00:03:33,097
I hear we'll be
working together.
36
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:33,798
Oh!
37
00:03:33,831 --> 00:03:35,967
I got you a plan for your desk.
38
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:47,744
Two: he's
a total control freak.
39
00:03:47,778 --> 00:03:49,246
Just look at his desk.
40
00:04:01,959 --> 00:04:05,129
I mean, the guy wears the same
shirts in the same order every
41
00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,263
week.
42
00:04:06,297 --> 00:04:08,132
Monday: dove gray.
43
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,834
Tuesday: white.
44
00:04:09,867 --> 00:04:11,235
Wednesday: powder blue.
45
00:04:11,268 --> 00:04:13,603
Thursday: window pane blue.
46
00:04:13,636 --> 00:04:16,007
And Friday: true blue.
47
00:04:16,606 --> 00:04:20,211
Reason number three: he always
corrects any tiny mistake I
48
00:04:20,244 --> 00:04:21,711
make.
49
00:04:22,913 --> 00:04:26,117
Four, and perhaps most
importantly: after the merger,
50
00:04:26,150 --> 00:04:29,286
he waltzed in with a list of
people to fire and it included
51
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:31,088
all my work friends...
52
00:04:31,122 --> 00:04:33,556
which were all my friends.
53
00:04:35,026 --> 00:04:39,063
So now, I'm trapped
here, day after endless day,
54
00:04:39,096 --> 00:04:43,134
all alone with my
one maniacal nemesis.
55
00:05:03,020 --> 00:05:04,155
Hi, good morning.
56
00:05:04,188 --> 00:05:05,990
Good morning.
57
00:05:06,023 --> 00:05:06,891
Has Bexley seen this?
58
00:05:06,924 --> 00:05:08,993
I emailed it to
Josh, so I'm assuming.
59
00:05:09,026 --> 00:05:10,627
We're adding something
at the top of the agenda.
60
00:05:10,660 --> 00:05:11,829
Okay, do you want
me to adjust it?
61
00:05:11,862 --> 00:05:13,197
No, this is fine.
62
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:15,166
I'd rather it be a surprise.
63
00:05:15,199 --> 00:05:15,698
Quarterlies?
64
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:16,834
On your desk.
65
00:05:16,867 --> 00:05:17,734
How do they look?
66
00:05:17,768 --> 00:05:19,003
Eh, lower than projected.
67
00:05:19,036 --> 00:05:20,237
But they are better than Q2.
68
00:05:20,271 --> 00:05:23,007
And I talked to the marketing
team about alternative print
69
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,376
strategies, which I really
think could help moving forward.
70
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:28,012
And I sent you a memo about a
company-wide team-building event
71
00:05:28,045 --> 00:05:29,246
that I'm planning.
72
00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:31,048
But workers would rather eat
rat skeletons than participate
73
00:05:31,082 --> 00:05:32,183
in group activities.
74
00:05:32,216 --> 00:05:35,052
Agreed, but HR has been
overwhelmed with complaints
75
00:05:35,086 --> 00:05:35,953
since the merger.
76
00:05:35,986 --> 00:05:38,655
Half of which are
about you and Josh.
77
00:05:38,688 --> 00:05:39,857
Don't mind her.
78
00:05:39,890 --> 00:05:41,025
I don't know what
I'd do without you.
79
00:05:41,058 --> 00:05:45,262
Well, you'd be all alone
with Satan and his hell hound.
80
00:05:45,496 --> 00:05:47,164
- See you inside.
- Okay.
81
00:05:47,198 --> 00:05:48,165
Lucy!
82
00:05:48,199 --> 00:05:49,366
I am so glad that I caught you.
83
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,937
I was hoping that I can ask
you for, like, a tiny favor?
84
00:05:52,970 --> 00:05:54,405
I need an extension
on the monthly report.
85
00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:56,739
My new puppy ate peanut butter
last night and she's totally
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00:05:56,774 --> 00:05:57,875
allergic.
87
00:05:57,908 --> 00:06:00,878
She put the "poo" in "Cockapoo,"
if you know what I mean.
88
00:06:00,911 --> 00:06:01,879
Sure.
89
00:06:01,912 --> 00:06:03,047
Of course.
90
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:03,981
You're the best.
91
00:06:04,014 --> 00:06:06,283
I'll have it Monday,
Wednesday at the latest.
92
00:06:08,252 --> 00:06:09,920
That was pathetic.
93
00:06:09,954 --> 00:06:10,720
Brrt.
94
00:06:10,754 --> 00:06:12,256
Who is Joshua Templeman?
95
00:06:13,491 --> 00:06:15,793
You know, Lucinda, you could
just tell her to do her job,
96
00:06:15,826 --> 00:06:18,796
but no, you have
to be the good guy.
97
00:06:18,829 --> 00:06:21,031
It's a lot better
than being the asshole.
98
00:06:21,065 --> 00:06:23,067
Happy Thanksgiving!
99
00:06:23,434 --> 00:06:24,201
'Kay.
100
00:06:24,235 --> 00:06:26,370
- Cupcake?
- Oh.
101
00:06:26,403 --> 00:06:28,105
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
102
00:06:28,139 --> 00:06:29,840
You want one?
103
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:32,943
You remembered my birthday!
104
00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:35,745
Of course!
105
00:06:35,779 --> 00:06:36,881
Our...
106
00:06:36,914 --> 00:06:38,748
little birthday turkey.
107
00:06:38,782 --> 00:06:39,749
Yay!
108
00:06:39,783 --> 00:06:40,818
Happy birthday.
109
00:06:40,851 --> 00:06:42,019
Ooh...
110
00:06:42,052 --> 00:06:43,454
You know, I watched
this insane documentary last
111
00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:44,555
night.
112
00:06:44,588 --> 00:06:47,424
Three AM, YouTube rabbit
hole, "History of Baking."
113
00:06:47,458 --> 00:06:50,094
Did you know that
DaVinci invented the blender?
114
00:06:50,127 --> 00:06:52,062
I invented pizza plate.
115
00:06:53,063 --> 00:06:55,199
It's a second pizza you put
under your first pizza to catch
116
00:06:55,232 --> 00:06:56,100
the crumbs.
117
00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:57,067
All right, can we
please get started?
118
00:06:57,101 --> 00:06:59,403
Or do you need another
minute to chit-chat?
119
00:06:59,436 --> 00:07:00,971
No, we're good to go.
120
00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:02,206
Oh, your tie's crooked.
121
00:07:02,239 --> 00:07:05,109
Okay, thank you all
for being here the day before
122
00:07:05,142 --> 00:07:06,076
Thanksgiving.
123
00:07:06,110 --> 00:07:07,144
I know some of you are
traveling so we'll...
124
00:07:07,178 --> 00:07:08,745
Check this out.
125
00:07:08,779 --> 00:07:09,780
Richard!
126
00:07:09,813 --> 00:07:11,282
So we'll try to keep this short.
127
00:07:11,315 --> 00:07:14,218
Yes, and Friday after
Thanksgiving will not be a paid
128
00:07:14,251 --> 00:07:16,287
holiday, FYI.
129
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:18,422
Okay, Richard and I have
an announcement to make:
130
00:07:18,455 --> 00:07:20,291
we're adding a new
position to the team.
131
00:07:20,324 --> 00:07:23,260
Yes, we're going to be hiring
a managing director who will
132
00:07:23,294 --> 00:07:26,130
oversee each department
and he will report to me.
133
00:07:26,163 --> 00:07:28,299
He or she will
report to both of us.
134
00:07:28,332 --> 00:07:32,403
The job is open to external
applicants, naturally, but...
135
00:07:32,436 --> 00:07:35,105
I'd very much like
to hire from within.
136
00:07:35,139 --> 00:07:37,508
Yeah, we will be putting
together an independent panel
137
00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:39,877
since we don't
always see eye-to-eye.
138
00:07:39,910 --> 00:07:42,179
The final candidates will make
their presentations to the board
139
00:07:42,213 --> 00:07:44,148
after the New Year.
140
00:07:44,481 --> 00:07:47,017
May the best man win.
141
00:07:58,162 --> 00:07:59,430
That job is mine, Shortcake.
142
00:07:59,463 --> 00:08:01,131
Oh, your
confidence is compelling,
143
00:08:01,165 --> 00:08:02,299
but you forget one thing.
144
00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:04,034
- Hm?
- Everyone hates you.
145
00:08:04,068 --> 00:08:05,336
Oh, they don't
hate me, they fear me,
146
00:08:05,369 --> 00:08:06,237
which makes me effective.
147
00:08:06,270 --> 00:08:07,404
You know,
when I'm your boss,
148
00:08:07,438 --> 00:08:10,341
I will require you to do
everything I say with a smile.
149
00:08:10,374 --> 00:08:12,843
When I'm your boss, I'm gonna
work you so hard that you start
150
00:08:12,876 --> 00:08:14,211
using the office as
your home address.
151
00:08:14,245 --> 00:08:17,214
When I'm your boss, I
will enforce casual Fridays.
152
00:08:17,248 --> 00:08:18,382
Hawaiian shirts mandatory.
153
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,884
When I'm your boss, I'm
implementing a new dress code.
154
00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:24,054
No more looking like an
elementary school librarian.
155
00:08:25,256 --> 00:08:28,325
If you get
the job, I'll resign.
156
00:08:28,359 --> 00:08:30,094
- Really?
- Just like you will if I do.
157
00:08:30,127 --> 00:08:31,996
- I don't quit.
- Then I'll fire you.
158
00:08:32,029 --> 00:08:34,164
Ah, but I'm incapable of
giving you that pleasure.
159
00:08:34,198 --> 00:08:35,899
Aw, it's not the first time
you've said that to a woman,
160
00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:37,334
is it?
161
00:08:37,368 --> 00:08:39,303
Then we agree: if
one of us gets the job,
162
00:08:39,336 --> 00:08:40,304
the other has to quit.
163
00:08:40,337 --> 00:08:42,172
Fine, agreed.
164
00:08:45,409 --> 00:08:46,343
Oh, hey, Danny.
165
00:08:46,377 --> 00:08:47,378
I come bearing gifts.
166
00:08:47,411 --> 00:08:49,346
- Oh!
- Oh, sorry.
167
00:08:49,380 --> 00:08:51,348
Shoulda... waited
for some eye contact.
168
00:08:51,382 --> 00:08:52,549
The new book!
169
00:08:52,583 --> 00:08:55,085
That's so
nice of you, thank you.
170
00:08:55,119 --> 00:08:56,520
Designers got
some advanced copies,
171
00:08:56,553 --> 00:08:58,255
so... no big deal.
172
00:08:58,289 --> 00:08:59,556
Oh, no.
173
00:09:00,024 --> 00:09:01,225
This is the cover?
174
00:09:01,258 --> 00:09:03,427
Sorry, Bexley made us do it.
175
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,963
The book's about an
archaeologist with autism.
176
00:09:05,996 --> 00:09:08,299
I mean, does he
even read the jackets?
177
00:09:08,332 --> 00:09:09,400
Doubtful.
178
00:09:09,433 --> 00:09:10,301
Oh!
179
00:09:10,334 --> 00:09:10,968
And, uh, this came
for you in the mail,
180
00:09:11,001 --> 00:09:12,903
so I took the liberty to...
181
00:09:12,936 --> 00:09:14,138
Oh!
182
00:09:14,171 --> 00:09:15,572
0 for two.
183
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,309
Are you ordering your
tiny clothes online again?
184
00:09:18,342 --> 00:09:20,277
Just a box small enough
for your withered heart.
185
00:09:20,311 --> 00:09:22,246
- Ah...
- Bet it's another Smurf.
186
00:09:22,279 --> 00:09:23,580
Another Smurf?
187
00:09:23,614 --> 00:09:25,249
As in multiple Smurfs?
188
00:09:25,282 --> 00:09:28,218
So is this like a Smurf village
that you're putting together?
189
00:09:28,252 --> 00:09:29,420
- Are you doing little, like...
- Okay, just...
190
00:09:29,453 --> 00:09:31,322
Smurf Army Civil
War reenactments?
191
00:09:31,355 --> 00:09:34,091
Oh, she's got the
whole collection.
192
00:09:34,124 --> 00:09:35,592
How adorable.
193
00:09:35,626 --> 00:09:37,394
Will you shut up?
194
00:09:37,428 --> 00:09:38,996
Thank you for the
delivery, Danny.
195
00:09:39,029 --> 00:09:39,697
Anytime.
196
00:09:39,730 --> 00:09:41,265
Yes, Danny, thank you so much.
197
00:09:41,298 --> 00:09:43,000
You got it, JT.
198
00:09:47,604 --> 00:09:49,273
Well...
199
00:09:49,306 --> 00:09:50,941
catch you
dreamboats on the flip.
200
00:09:50,974 --> 00:09:52,009
- Hit it.
- No.
201
00:09:52,042 --> 00:09:53,277
Okay.
202
00:09:53,477 --> 00:09:54,978
Bye.
203
00:09:57,381 --> 00:09:59,650
That poor sap thinks
you're flirting with him.
204
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,418
The same way people think
you're flirting with me?
205
00:10:01,452 --> 00:10:03,554
Shortcake, if I was
flirting with you,
206
00:10:03,587 --> 00:10:04,455
you would know it.
207
00:10:04,488 --> 00:10:06,490
I didn't know frat
boys knew how to flirt.
208
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:09,360
I thought they just
roofied girls' drinks.
209
00:10:21,205 --> 00:10:22,406
Mm-hm.
210
00:10:22,439 --> 00:10:26,577
Yeah, no, I understand but we're
doing smaller hardcover runs.
211
00:10:26,610 --> 00:10:31,181
No, no, no, same print run,
just distributed differently.
212
00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:34,385
Sure, I will put you
through to accounting.
213
00:10:34,685 --> 00:10:36,220
Ugh!
214
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,401
What?
215
00:10:52,169 --> 00:10:53,036
Richard!
216
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:54,037
I have a copy of
the new book for you.
217
00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:55,038
Ah!
218
00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:56,440
Hey!
219
00:10:56,473 --> 00:10:59,510
Dr. Josh, you didn't
tell me it was in.
220
00:10:59,543 --> 00:11:01,345
'Stripping Time.'
221
00:11:01,378 --> 00:11:02,379
Cover's all me, you know.
222
00:11:02,413 --> 00:11:03,313
It really grabs ya, right?
223
00:11:03,347 --> 00:11:07,484
Mm, yes, it's... it's
definitely eye-catching.
224
00:11:07,518 --> 00:11:08,452
Yeah.
225
00:11:08,485 --> 00:11:10,354
You got my tee time set
up for tomorrow, Josh?
226
00:11:10,387 --> 00:11:11,321
8:30.
227
00:11:11,355 --> 00:11:12,923
Good man.
228
00:11:14,391 --> 00:11:17,361
I gotta go work on my stroke.
229
00:11:18,028 --> 00:11:18,562
See you kids in the morning.
230
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,431
All right, goodnight!
231
00:11:20,464 --> 00:11:21,498
Out.
232
00:11:22,533 --> 00:11:23,934
Dick.
233
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:28,439
It's not 'Stripping Time, '
it's 'Stripping Time!'
234
00:11:28,472 --> 00:11:29,606
This has nothing
to do with strippers.
235
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:31,241
I swear, that guy's like the
worst version of the worst
236
00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:32,443
version of himself.
237
00:11:32,476 --> 00:11:36,113
Did you seriously just refer
to the cover as "eye-catching?"
238
00:11:36,146 --> 00:11:38,549
Looks like it was designed
by a horny fifth grader.
239
00:11:38,582 --> 00:11:40,717
Not exactly consistent
with the tone of the novel.
240
00:11:40,752 --> 00:11:42,486
Since when do you read
the books we publish?
241
00:11:42,519 --> 00:11:44,688
I was just trying to
fill my Good Reads quota.
242
00:11:44,721 --> 00:11:45,689
Oh, your one book of the year?
243
00:11:45,722 --> 00:11:48,559
You do know comic
books don't count, right?
244
00:11:48,592 --> 00:11:50,494
I fell asleep three
times reading the first page.
245
00:11:50,527 --> 00:11:53,430
Well, it is exhausting to
read above your grade level.
246
00:11:53,464 --> 00:11:55,532
Maybe you're not ready
for chapter books yet.
247
00:11:55,566 --> 00:11:56,733
It was boring.
248
00:11:56,768 --> 00:11:59,771
It was a masterpiece before
Bexley cut 200 pages to make it
249
00:11:59,804 --> 00:12:01,738
more of an airport read.
250
00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:04,441
At least he kept in some of
the landscape descriptions.
251
00:12:04,475 --> 00:12:07,411
Oh, yeah, it was thrilling
reading about the topography of
252
00:12:07,444 --> 00:12:08,579
Fort Ticonderoga.
253
00:12:08,612 --> 00:12:10,514
Whatever, I loved it.
254
00:12:10,547 --> 00:12:11,715
So, big Thanksgiving plans?
255
00:12:11,748 --> 00:12:14,384
You gonna be posting some Smurf
fanfic and eating cranberry
256
00:12:14,418 --> 00:12:15,252
sauce out of a can?
257
00:12:15,285 --> 00:12:16,520
And what about the
Templeman family?
258
00:12:16,553 --> 00:12:19,156
Drinking the blood of a virgin
and then staring at each other
259
00:12:19,189 --> 00:12:19,723
in silence?
260
00:12:19,757 --> 00:12:20,390
Oh, how'd you know?
261
00:12:20,424 --> 00:12:22,159
We're looking for donations.
262
00:12:22,192 --> 00:12:23,293
Oh, hi, Jeanette!
263
00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:25,295
Oh, I
love those earrings.
264
00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:26,463
Don't even try.
265
00:12:26,497 --> 00:12:28,599
Four complaints this week, four!
266
00:12:28,632 --> 00:12:31,101
Three about the break
room incident on Monday.
267
00:12:31,134 --> 00:12:31,970
Here we go.
268
00:12:32,035 --> 00:12:32,302
Are we
ready for our lesson?
269
00:12:32,336 --> 00:12:33,203
Okay?
270
00:12:33,237 --> 00:12:35,472
This is a comma,
and this is a period.
271
00:12:35,506 --> 00:12:36,673
When you take a period and...
272
00:12:36,707 --> 00:12:38,542
You better put that doughnut
hole away or I'm gonna shove it
273
00:12:38,575 --> 00:12:39,743
up your semicolon!
274
00:12:39,777 --> 00:12:42,379
You'd like that,
wouldn't you, Shrimp?
275
00:12:42,613 --> 00:12:44,114
Mommy and Daddy fight sometimes.
276
00:12:44,147 --> 00:12:45,482
We have discussions.
277
00:12:45,516 --> 00:12:48,252
Like how Mommy constantly
forgets to CC Daddy on
278
00:12:48,285 --> 00:12:49,419
company-wide memos.
279
00:12:49,453 --> 00:12:51,756
Or how Daddy has a cork up
his ass about the format of
280
00:12:51,789 --> 00:12:53,123
quarterly reports.
281
00:12:53,156 --> 00:12:54,291
Mommy and Daddy?
282
00:12:54,324 --> 00:12:55,827
Are you serious?
283
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:57,494
You two are the
worst part of my job.
284
00:13:40,437 --> 00:13:42,472
There are
literally millions of guys in
285
00:13:42,506 --> 00:13:43,607
this city.
286
00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:44,608
Well, it's not
that easy to find a good one.
287
00:13:44,641 --> 00:13:46,376
What
about that guy from work?
288
00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:47,511
Who, Josh?
289
00:13:47,544 --> 00:13:49,479
Honey, you
talk about him all the time.
290
00:13:49,513 --> 00:13:50,514
I do not.
291
00:13:50,547 --> 00:13:52,850
I just
worry about you all alone.
292
00:13:52,884 --> 00:13:53,785
I know, Mom.
293
00:13:53,818 --> 00:13:54,718
I'm fine.
294
00:13:54,752 --> 00:13:55,887
Well,
we miss you, Sweetie.
295
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,220
Yeah, I do too.
296
00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:59,156
Hey, look, Mom, I gotta go.
297
00:13:59,189 --> 00:14:00,792
I'm walking out the door; I'm
gonna meet the girls for some
298
00:14:00,825 --> 00:14:01,625
drinks.
299
00:14:01,658 --> 00:14:02,526
But I'll call you
tomorrow, okay?
300
00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:04,361
All right,
love you, Pumpkin.
301
00:14:04,394 --> 00:14:05,162
I love you, too.
302
00:14:05,195 --> 00:14:06,196
Happy Thanksgiving.
303
00:14:06,229 --> 00:14:07,765
Happy Thanksgiving.
304
00:14:23,848 --> 00:14:27,384
Happy Smurfs are all alike.
305
00:14:27,584 --> 00:14:32,589
But Unhappy Smurfs are all
unhappy in their own ways.
306
00:14:33,557 --> 00:14:38,763
Smurfette pondered this as she
watched Grouchy Smurf squash a
307
00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:44,735
strawberry under his shiny boot,
308
00:14:44,769 --> 00:14:49,774
grumbling to himself about
the un-Smurfiness of the world.
309
00:15:10,828 --> 00:15:15,599
I'm gonna work
you so fucking hard.
310
00:15:35,619 --> 00:15:37,621
Son of a bitch.
311
00:15:51,668 --> 00:15:53,805
Wowzers, what's the occasion?
312
00:15:53,838 --> 00:15:55,472
Psychological warfare.
313
00:15:55,505 --> 00:15:57,340
Time to
get into his head.
314
00:16:17,862 --> 00:16:18,863
Ow.
315
00:16:18,896 --> 00:16:20,031
Smooth, Shortcake.
316
00:16:20,064 --> 00:16:21,498
Ugh, shut up.
317
00:16:21,531 --> 00:16:22,900
What is this?
318
00:16:24,334 --> 00:16:25,669
Travel shot glass?
319
00:16:25,702 --> 00:16:27,537
That...
320
00:16:28,039 --> 00:16:30,373
would be a menstrual cup.
321
00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:31,541
Right.
322
00:16:31,575 --> 00:16:32,342
My next guess.
323
00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:33,211
What?
324
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:33,845
These are better
for the environment,
325
00:16:33,878 --> 00:16:35,679
and tampons are dangerous.
326
00:16:35,712 --> 00:16:36,814
You know what?
327
00:16:36,848 --> 00:16:38,715
No, this is none
of your business.
328
00:16:41,886 --> 00:16:43,888
Hot date tonight?
329
00:16:45,455 --> 00:16:46,991
I might.
330
00:16:52,096 --> 00:16:53,831
Ugh.
331
00:16:57,101 --> 00:16:58,702
Ow!
332
00:16:58,735 --> 00:16:59,536
Fuck!
333
00:16:59,569 --> 00:17:00,737
Duck!
334
00:17:00,772 --> 00:17:03,373
You are weirder
than normal today.
335
00:17:03,406 --> 00:17:06,043
Pressure of the job
application getting to you?
336
00:17:07,577 --> 00:17:09,312
I...
337
00:17:09,613 --> 00:17:12,382
had some weird
dreams last night.
338
00:17:12,616 --> 00:17:14,718
You had a sex dream.
339
00:17:15,787 --> 00:17:17,454
No.
340
00:17:19,891 --> 00:17:21,793
Was I in it?-
341
00:17:21,826 --> 00:17:26,496
Only in your dreams would
you ever be in my dreams.
342
00:17:32,435 --> 00:17:33,771
Okay.
343
00:17:35,672 --> 00:17:39,509
It was a... little erotic.
344
00:17:40,111 --> 00:17:43,114
I was in bed...
345
00:17:43,147 --> 00:17:47,919
naked, and there was a man...
346
00:17:47,952 --> 00:17:50,453
pressing up against me.
347
00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:52,556
I could feel him...
348
00:17:52,589 --> 00:17:53,925
you know.
349
00:17:53,958 --> 00:17:57,327
I think you're gonna
have to spell it out for me.
350
00:17:58,428 --> 00:18:01,766
Well, I guess I just...
351
00:18:02,432 --> 00:18:06,037
feel weird because it
is a guy from work.
352
00:18:06,070 --> 00:18:07,839
Ooh!
353
00:18:07,872 --> 00:18:08,906
Hot date guy?
354
00:18:08,940 --> 00:18:10,473
As a matter of fact...
355
00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:13,343
Am I gonna have to notify HR?
356
00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:16,613
...because of what we did.
357
00:18:16,646 --> 00:18:17,882
We are drowning in remainders!
358
00:18:17,915 --> 00:18:20,650
We have more remainders of that
insipid sports memoir than we do
359
00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:21,853
of Jocelyn's book!
360
00:18:21,886 --> 00:18:24,055
Because we print more because
they actually make money.
361
00:18:24,088 --> 00:18:26,791
Because God forbid we actually
invest in something artistically
362
00:18:26,824 --> 00:18:27,657
worthwhile!
363
00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:28,926
You know what your
problem is, Helen?
364
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,761
You think it's below you to give
people what they actually want.
365
00:18:30,795 --> 00:18:31,295
Me?
366
00:18:31,329 --> 00:18:32,662
I don't give a shit!
367
00:18:32,696 --> 00:18:34,497
People want a book
on donkey farts,
368
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,666
I'll ride the donkey
all the way to the bank!
369
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,903
This is what I get for selling
my soul to Mephistopheles.
370
00:18:38,936 --> 00:18:39,804
Who?!
371
00:18:39,837 --> 00:18:42,405
Read a book, Bexley!
372
00:18:46,878 --> 00:18:48,378
Fuck!
373
00:18:49,013 --> 00:18:50,480
So...
374
00:18:51,048 --> 00:18:53,951
when are where is this
supposed date going to happen?
375
00:18:53,985 --> 00:18:56,553
You are very interested.
376
00:18:56,586 --> 00:18:57,755
Why is that?
377
00:18:57,788 --> 00:19:00,657
Well, studies show when a
manager feigns interest in his
378
00:19:00,690 --> 00:19:03,861
employees' personal
lives, it boosts morale.
379
00:19:04,061 --> 00:19:06,163
That, and I think you're lying.
380
00:19:06,663 --> 00:19:09,867
I am meeting him for
drinks at the AC at seven,
381
00:19:09,901 --> 00:19:12,569
and you will never be my boss.
382
00:19:12,602 --> 00:19:13,971
Well, what a coincidence?
383
00:19:14,005 --> 00:19:16,506
I'm going to the AC tonight...
384
00:19:16,539 --> 00:19:17,674
at seven.
385
00:19:17,707 --> 00:19:20,077
Fan-tastic.
386
00:19:20,878 --> 00:19:22,847
I will see you there.
387
00:19:33,190 --> 00:19:34,591
- Hey!
- Oh!
388
00:19:34,624 --> 00:19:36,227
Sorry, I should wear a bell.
389
00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:38,029
Like a cow.
390
00:19:38,062 --> 00:19:39,696
You're not like a cow.
391
00:19:39,729 --> 00:19:41,065
I'm gonna stop talking.
392
00:19:41,098 --> 00:19:42,699
- Hi.
- Wait...
393
00:19:42,732 --> 00:19:44,001
Are you moving offices?
394
00:19:44,035 --> 00:19:47,038
Um, just doing a little
pre-packing, you know?
395
00:19:47,071 --> 00:19:49,006
Organizing my ducks.
396
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:49,941
Boop!
397
00:19:49,974 --> 00:19:50,841
What?
398
00:19:50,875 --> 00:19:52,009
No, you're leaving?
399
00:19:52,043 --> 00:19:53,677
Starting my own company.
400
00:19:53,710 --> 00:19:55,780
I cannot believe we are
losing another designer.
401
00:19:55,813 --> 00:19:57,248
Bexley's killing us.
402
00:19:57,281 --> 00:20:00,051
Well, I... I still
have another week.
403
00:20:00,084 --> 00:20:02,019
Um...
404
00:20:02,053 --> 00:20:04,889
What... what brings you
to the... the Dan Cave?
405
00:20:04,922 --> 00:20:06,523
Actually...
406
00:20:06,556 --> 00:20:09,026
uh, I was wondering...
407
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:11,062
what you're doing tonight.
408
00:20:11,095 --> 00:20:12,263
Oh.
409
00:20:12,296 --> 00:20:15,900
Uh, well, uh, couple of guys
are taking me out on the town to
410
00:20:15,933 --> 00:20:17,268
celebrate my old departure.
411
00:20:17,301 --> 00:20:19,602
But tomorrow, I'm
free as a beaver.
412
00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:21,072
- Mm...
- That's not an expression.
413
00:20:21,105 --> 00:20:23,573
Yeah, no, I... I'm gonna
be swamped this weekend,
414
00:20:23,606 --> 00:20:26,609
and actually, all of next week
and the next week with this...
415
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:28,645
this thing...
416
00:20:28,678 --> 00:20:30,881
for, uh, cats.
417
00:20:30,915 --> 00:20:33,084
Orphaned rescue cats.
418
00:20:33,117 --> 00:20:34,085
Orphaned?
419
00:20:34,118 --> 00:20:35,319
Yes, correct.
420
00:20:35,353 --> 00:20:36,586
It's kind of a big deal and I
don't really know when I'm gonna
421
00:20:36,619 --> 00:20:39,090
be available again, so tonight
is actually the only night I'm
422
00:20:39,123 --> 00:20:42,927
available for, like, a
really long time, so...
423
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:46,097
All right, I mean,
I'll... switch things around,
424
00:20:46,130 --> 00:20:47,131
you know?
425
00:20:47,932 --> 00:20:49,967
It's for the cats.
426
00:20:51,601 --> 00:20:52,837
Great.
427
00:20:52,870 --> 00:20:54,305
Awesome, you are the best.
428
00:20:54,338 --> 00:20:55,006
You're the best.
429
00:20:55,039 --> 00:20:55,572
Oh!
430
00:20:55,605 --> 00:20:57,074
The AC, seven o'clock.
431
00:20:57,108 --> 00:20:58,209
I'll see ya there.
432
00:20:58,242 --> 00:20:59,944
See ya there!
433
00:21:01,611 --> 00:21:03,014
Ow.
434
00:21:37,882 --> 00:21:40,017
I hate Lucy.
435
00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:43,954
Die, Lucy, die?
436
00:21:53,330 --> 00:21:54,899
What the hell?
437
00:21:56,100 --> 00:21:56,599
You too.
438
00:21:56,633 --> 00:21:58,335
Have a good weekend.
439
00:22:03,841 --> 00:22:05,843
Were you just at my desk?
440
00:22:05,876 --> 00:22:08,112
Thought I saw a spider.
441
00:22:08,345 --> 00:22:10,081
Hm.
442
00:22:15,219 --> 00:22:17,788
What were you
really doing at my desk?
443
00:22:18,289 --> 00:22:20,758
Like I said, spider.
444
00:22:20,791 --> 00:22:21,992
Hm.
445
00:22:30,067 --> 00:22:31,168
You know what, Joshua?
446
00:22:31,202 --> 00:22:32,303
You are so...
447
00:22:32,336 --> 00:22:33,070
Sharp?
448
00:22:33,104 --> 00:22:34,038
Intelligent?
449
00:22:34,071 --> 00:22:35,206
Superior in every way?
450
00:22:35,239 --> 00:22:36,739
Predictable.
451
00:22:38,275 --> 00:22:39,676
Still going on your date?
452
00:22:39,709 --> 00:22:41,412
Yup, and I should
probably get going.
453
00:22:41,445 --> 00:22:43,781
You know, you should start with
the virtues of the menstrual
454
00:22:43,814 --> 00:22:44,315
cup.
455
00:22:44,348 --> 00:22:45,549
Guys love that.
456
00:22:45,583 --> 00:22:48,819
Yeah, I just thought I'd tell
him I'm not wearing any panties.
457
00:22:49,253 --> 00:22:50,988
Do guys like that?
458
00:22:57,995 --> 00:22:59,430
Do you need a ride?
459
00:22:59,463 --> 00:23:01,731
No, I will walk.
460
00:23:01,765 --> 00:23:03,000
But it's pouring.
461
00:23:03,033 --> 00:23:05,369
I wouldn't want your makeup to
smear after you just spent 22
462
00:23:05,402 --> 00:23:07,905
minutes on it in the bathroom.
463
00:23:07,938 --> 00:23:10,107
Has anyone ever told you
that you have stalker-like
464
00:23:10,141 --> 00:23:11,175
tendencies?
465
00:23:11,208 --> 00:23:13,210
Oh, so says the girl
with the serial killer eyes?
466
00:23:13,244 --> 00:23:16,679
Yeah, only when I
imagine strangling you.
467
00:23:22,153 --> 00:23:23,787
What?
468
00:23:23,988 --> 00:23:26,157
Calm down, I'm not
actually gonna strangle you.
469
00:23:26,190 --> 00:23:28,125
What are we doing?
470
00:23:29,293 --> 00:23:31,162
What do you mean?
471
00:23:31,195 --> 00:23:32,763
This.
472
00:23:32,796 --> 00:23:35,766
This schoolyard game
that we play everyday.
473
00:23:37,301 --> 00:23:40,104
You mean the game
where we hate each other?
474
00:23:41,172 --> 00:23:43,774
Do you really hate me?
475
00:24:14,471 --> 00:24:16,473
Everything all right in there?
476
00:24:17,908 --> 00:24:19,310
Sorry.
477
00:24:19,709 --> 00:24:21,912
Just bumped the button.
478
00:24:43,334 --> 00:24:45,336
So am I just
taking you home, or...?
479
00:24:45,369 --> 00:24:46,770
No.
480
00:24:47,371 --> 00:24:49,073
I need to go meet Danny still.
481
00:24:49,106 --> 00:24:50,307
What are you talking about?
482
00:24:50,341 --> 00:24:53,911
My date that you
are driving me to.
483
00:24:53,944 --> 00:24:56,780
Well, I... I thought...
484
00:24:57,381 --> 00:24:58,482
But Danny?
485
00:24:58,515 --> 00:25:00,217
Look, will you just pull over?
486
00:25:00,251 --> 00:25:01,285
We're still a block
away from the bar.
487
00:25:01,318 --> 00:25:03,053
Yeah, I know, I really
wanna get out of the car.
488
00:25:03,087 --> 00:25:04,888
Oh...
489
00:25:06,223 --> 00:25:08,025
Hold on, just...
490
00:25:08,058 --> 00:25:09,026
Hey, just wait a second!
491
00:25:09,059 --> 00:25:10,961
Take my umbrell...!
492
00:25:13,364 --> 00:25:15,566
Thing is, Harris, if this
were an authentic log cabin,
493
00:25:15,599 --> 00:25:17,935
what you have to do is
notch it out up here,
494
00:25:17,968 --> 00:25:21,071
and then probably go with a
classic A-frame for aesthetic
495
00:25:21,105 --> 00:25:22,306
and stability.
496
00:25:22,339 --> 00:25:24,275
- Hi!
- Hey!
497
00:25:24,308 --> 00:25:25,175
I'm so sorry I'm late.
498
00:25:25,209 --> 00:25:28,078
It is biblically
torrential out there.
499
00:25:28,112 --> 00:25:29,346
Huh.
500
00:25:29,380 --> 00:25:31,348
I look like I tried
to fight off a tsunami.
501
00:25:31,382 --> 00:25:33,217
You look great wet.
502
00:25:33,417 --> 00:25:36,920
I... I mean you look
really beautiful.
503
00:25:36,954 --> 00:25:38,088
I'm really bad at this.
504
00:25:38,122 --> 00:25:40,357
I'll have a Johnny Black, neat.
505
00:25:40,391 --> 00:25:42,359
Bailey's, rocks.
506
00:25:44,295 --> 00:25:45,596
Rough day?
507
00:25:45,629 --> 00:25:47,364
Strange day.
508
00:25:47,731 --> 00:25:50,034
Oh, 'Stripping Time!'
509
00:25:50,067 --> 00:25:51,368
'Stripping Time, '
you're reading it.
510
00:25:51,402 --> 00:25:52,536
What do you think?
511
00:25:52,569 --> 00:25:54,872
You know, they say "Don't
judge a book by its cover,"
512
00:25:54,905 --> 00:25:58,275
but in this case,
they're both God-awful.
513
00:25:59,343 --> 00:26:00,944
Yeah, I know.
514
00:26:00,978 --> 00:26:02,212
I know!
515
00:26:02,246 --> 00:26:04,381
It's like who wants to read 10
pages about the topography of
516
00:26:04,415 --> 00:26:05,616
- Fort Ticonderoga?
- Ticonderoga?
517
00:26:05,649 --> 00:26:07,284
Exactly what I thought!
518
00:26:07,318 --> 00:26:09,453
It's genuinely really bad.
519
00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:13,324
Um, will you
just... excuse me one second?
520
00:26:13,357 --> 00:26:14,425
Yeah.
521
00:26:18,629 --> 00:26:19,997
Fuck!
522
00:26:20,030 --> 00:26:20,998
Hey, you all right?
523
00:26:21,031 --> 00:26:21,965
I'm fine.
524
00:26:21,999 --> 00:26:23,300
What are you doing here?
525
00:26:23,334 --> 00:26:25,135
You left your purse in my car.
526
00:26:25,169 --> 00:26:27,938
Whatever, you win.
527
00:26:28,539 --> 00:26:30,541
The "Get in the Other
Person's Head" game, okay?!
528
00:26:30,574 --> 00:26:33,277
I mean, you somehow Jedi mind
tricked me into kissing you when
529
00:26:33,310 --> 00:26:35,412
I should have just
slapped your smug face.
530
00:26:35,446 --> 00:26:36,547
It's been a really
good day for you.
531
00:26:36,580 --> 00:26:37,414
What?
532
00:26:37,448 --> 00:26:38,282
I made a mistake, okay?
533
00:26:38,315 --> 00:26:40,484
And if you wanna
report me to HR or...
534
00:26:40,517 --> 00:26:41,318
What?
535
00:26:41,352 --> 00:26:42,653
That's what
you're worried about?
536
00:26:42,686 --> 00:26:43,921
Josh!
537
00:26:43,954 --> 00:26:46,090
A man just called me "beautiful"
and my first thought is to think
538
00:26:46,123 --> 00:26:47,458
that he's messing with me.
539
00:26:47,491 --> 00:26:48,125
Okay?
540
00:26:48,158 --> 00:26:48,692
I feel like I'm going crazy.
541
00:26:48,726 --> 00:26:50,861
So just please go home.
542
00:26:54,465 --> 00:26:56,300
All right, what can I get you?
543
00:27:01,705 --> 00:27:03,040
Hey.
544
00:27:03,073 --> 00:27:04,341
Hey!
545
00:27:05,142 --> 00:27:06,276
Cheers.
546
00:27:07,611 --> 00:27:09,446
All right.
547
00:27:10,514 --> 00:27:13,117
Hey, did I just see Josh?
548
00:27:13,150 --> 00:27:14,218
Uh, oh!
549
00:27:14,251 --> 00:27:16,587
Yeah, I... I left work
with a file that he needed.
550
00:27:16,620 --> 00:27:19,323
But don't worry, he is gone.
551
00:27:19,656 --> 00:27:22,059
Hey, so are you and he, like...
552
00:27:22,092 --> 00:27:23,227
I don't know.
553
00:27:23,260 --> 00:27:25,529
I just can't help but feel
like there's like a vibe there.
554
00:27:25,562 --> 00:27:26,230
Uh-uh.
555
00:27:26,263 --> 00:27:27,598
- You two?
- Uh-uh.
556
00:27:27,631 --> 00:27:28,532
No, no, no.
557
00:27:28,565 --> 00:27:29,600
No vibe.
558
00:27:29,633 --> 00:27:31,402
No vibe there.
559
00:27:31,435 --> 00:27:32,269
Cool, cool, cool.
560
00:27:32,302 --> 00:27:35,205
So, like, this is
a real date, then?
561
00:27:35,239 --> 00:27:36,640
I mean, it is, right?
562
00:27:36,673 --> 00:27:38,142
Yeah.
563
00:27:38,175 --> 00:27:39,710
It is definitely real.
564
00:27:39,743 --> 00:27:41,378
Awesome.
565
00:27:41,412 --> 00:27:43,213
So, where are you from?
566
00:27:43,247 --> 00:27:44,181
Vermont.
567
00:27:44,214 --> 00:27:46,517
Green
Mountain State, Ethan Allen.
568
00:27:46,550 --> 00:27:48,051
That's right.
569
00:27:48,085 --> 00:27:50,387
Yeah, my parents are
strawberry farmers.
570
00:27:50,421 --> 00:27:51,221
What?!
571
00:27:51,255 --> 00:27:53,624
My parents have a
hobby farm, too!
572
00:27:53,657 --> 00:27:55,459
I'm talkin' bees,
goats, chickens,
573
00:27:55,492 --> 00:27:56,527
the whole thing!
574
00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:57,394
Wait, are you serious?
575
00:27:57,428 --> 00:27:58,228
I am serious.
576
00:27:58,262 --> 00:27:59,663
How did I not
know this about you?
577
00:27:59,696 --> 00:28:00,564
I don't know.
578
00:28:00,597 --> 00:28:02,332
But we got Karen
and Sharon the sheep,
579
00:28:02,366 --> 00:28:05,335
we got Percy Pig, we
got Bonito the queen bee,
580
00:28:05,369 --> 00:28:06,403
and we got Phillip the goat.
581
00:28:06,437 --> 00:28:08,005
You know about goat parkour?
582
00:28:08,038 --> 00:28:09,273
Goat parkour?
583
00:28:09,306 --> 00:28:10,441
- That's correct.
- No.
584
00:28:10,474 --> 00:28:11,542
It's the greatest thing
you've ever seen in your life.
585
00:28:11,575 --> 00:28:14,178
So Phillip jumps off of
any surface pulling this,
586
00:28:14,211 --> 00:28:15,412
like, radical move
where he's like,
587
00:28:15,446 --> 00:28:16,613
"Psych, I'm a goat!"
588
00:28:16,647 --> 00:28:18,382
It's the best thing in the
w... I have to show it to you.
589
00:28:18,415 --> 00:28:20,350
Do you have pictures?
590
00:28:20,584 --> 00:28:23,220
I don't, actually.
591
00:28:24,455 --> 00:28:26,056
- Sorry.
- It's okay.
592
00:28:26,089 --> 00:28:27,524
Yeah, a third of all
our food actually comes from
593
00:28:27,558 --> 00:28:28,760
bee-pollinated plants.
594
00:28:28,793 --> 00:28:30,360
- Wow!
- Which is... yeah, it's shocking.
595
00:28:30,394 --> 00:28:31,595
- I didn't know that.
- Really, so...
596
00:28:31,628 --> 00:28:34,531
Okay, so wait, wait, do you
have to wear one of those bee
597
00:28:34,565 --> 00:28:35,699
suits?
598
00:28:35,732 --> 00:28:39,670
To me honest, I'm like Macaulay
Culkin in 'My Girl'-level
599
00:28:39,703 --> 00:28:42,506
allergic to bees, so
every time I go home,
600
00:28:42,539 --> 00:28:44,741
I have to carry,
like, an EpiPen.
601
00:28:44,776 --> 00:28:45,576
No!
602
00:28:45,609 --> 00:28:48,145
Oh, that's so
nerdy, I love that.
603
00:28:48,178 --> 00:28:51,114
Says the girl who read 'War
and Peace' in the sixth grade!
604
00:28:51,148 --> 00:28:52,549
No, I said I tried.
605
00:28:52,583 --> 00:28:54,418
And that doesn't
make me a nerd, okay?
606
00:28:54,451 --> 00:28:56,320
That just makes me precocious.
607
00:28:56,353 --> 00:28:59,089
No, see, that's just
nerd talk for bein' a nerd.
608
00:28:59,122 --> 00:29:00,424
No, it's not.
609
00:29:00,457 --> 00:29:01,458
Embrace it.
610
00:29:29,353 --> 00:29:30,654
Hi, who is it?
611
00:29:30,687 --> 00:29:32,289
Delivery for Lucy Hutton.
612
00:29:32,322 --> 00:29:33,357
Oh, okay.
613
00:29:33,390 --> 00:29:34,491
Come on in.
614
00:29:38,362 --> 00:29:39,730
- Thank you.
- Have a nice day.
615
00:29:39,764 --> 00:29:41,532
You too.
616
00:30:32,716 --> 00:30:34,585
Lucy?
617
00:30:35,586 --> 00:30:37,254
I'm very sorry.
618
00:30:37,287 --> 00:30:40,424
So sorry you forgot
to shower this morning?
619
00:30:41,258 --> 00:30:44,394
Can we please lay
down our weapons?
620
00:30:47,932 --> 00:30:50,367
Yeah, okay.
621
00:30:50,768 --> 00:30:52,603
Cease fire.
622
00:30:58,943 --> 00:31:00,677
- Packin' some heat?
- Yeah.
623
00:31:01,278 --> 00:31:02,847
I...
624
00:31:03,580 --> 00:31:05,382
come strapped.
625
00:31:06,383 --> 00:31:08,552
Okay, now let's just...
626
00:31:08,585 --> 00:31:11,622
never speak about
it again, okay?
627
00:31:17,728 --> 00:31:20,197
So, how was your date?
628
00:31:20,230 --> 00:31:21,598
It was fine.
629
00:31:22,100 --> 00:31:23,567
Yeah, he actually
sent me flowers,
630
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:26,737
which I thought was
a very classy move.
631
00:31:26,771 --> 00:31:28,806
Turns out we have
a lot in common.
632
00:31:29,239 --> 00:31:30,407
He's really nice.
633
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:34,578
Mm, yeah, the allure of the
nice guy: your white whale.
634
00:31:34,611 --> 00:31:35,512
What's wrong with nice?
635
00:31:35,545 --> 00:31:37,314
Nothing, if
that's what you want.
636
00:31:37,347 --> 00:31:38,682
Isn't that what
everybody wants?
637
00:31:38,715 --> 00:31:40,617
So it seems.
638
00:31:42,954 --> 00:31:45,757
So, what game
should we play now?
639
00:31:45,790 --> 00:31:47,591
I don't know.
640
00:31:47,624 --> 00:31:49,593
How about something where
we don't fight all the time?
641
00:31:49,626 --> 00:31:50,427
Oh!
642
00:31:50,460 --> 00:31:51,395
Like the "Normal
Colleagues" game.
643
00:31:51,428 --> 00:31:53,330
It would go like this:
Good morning, Josh.
644
00:31:53,363 --> 00:31:54,398
Why, good morning, Lucy.
645
00:31:54,431 --> 00:31:55,099
How was your weekend?
646
00:31:55,133 --> 00:31:56,299
Oh, it was lovely, thank you.
647
00:31:56,333 --> 00:31:58,602
Oh, I'll be working on the
Walker book today if you need
648
00:31:58,635 --> 00:31:59,436
any help.
649
00:31:59,469 --> 00:32:00,138
Oh, my gosh!
650
00:32:00,170 --> 00:32:01,939
That's so cooperative of you!
651
00:32:01,973 --> 00:32:04,274
You're very welcome, Lucy.
652
00:32:07,277 --> 00:32:08,079
Pfff.
653
00:32:08,112 --> 00:32:09,781
Okay, well, I'll
take that as a no.
654
00:32:09,814 --> 00:32:12,749
Lucy, can we talk about
your team-building proposal?
655
00:32:12,784 --> 00:32:14,018
Sure.
656
00:32:14,052 --> 00:32:15,419
I booked the conference center
and I'm organizing a scavenger
657
00:32:15,452 --> 00:32:16,420
hunt.
658
00:32:16,453 --> 00:32:18,722
I made these tiny books,
put little clues inside.
659
00:32:18,756 --> 00:32:20,323
I was kind of inspired
by 'Gulliver's Travels'...
660
00:32:20,357 --> 00:32:22,259
you know,
Lilliputian books and...
661
00:32:24,796 --> 00:32:26,630
I'm sorry, do you
have a better idea?
662
00:32:26,663 --> 00:32:29,366
Well, as a matter of fact, I
submitted a proposal of my own.
663
00:32:29,399 --> 00:32:30,267
You did what?
664
00:32:30,300 --> 00:32:31,002
Paintball.
665
00:32:31,035 --> 00:32:32,904
Physical activity, fresh air.
666
00:32:32,937 --> 00:32:34,806
And you come strapped, right?
667
00:32:34,839 --> 00:32:35,807
No.
668
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:36,740
That sounds like a
lawsuit waiting to happen.
669
00:32:36,774 --> 00:32:39,676
I felt the same way,
but Bexley loved it.
670
00:32:39,710 --> 00:32:40,912
Hell yeah, I love it.
671
00:32:40,945 --> 00:32:43,815
Let everyone work out their
issues with guns and ammo like
672
00:32:43,848 --> 00:32:45,783
God the Almighty intended.
673
00:32:45,817 --> 00:32:48,452
We flipped a coin and
we're going with paintball.
674
00:32:48,485 --> 00:32:51,488
I'm sorry, Lucy, I know
how hard you worked on this.
675
00:32:52,990 --> 00:32:55,559
Son of a bitch!
676
00:32:57,862 --> 00:32:59,764
You just couldn't let
me have this, could you?
677
00:32:59,797 --> 00:33:00,932
Could you?!
678
00:33:03,901 --> 00:33:04,701
No problem!
679
00:33:04,735 --> 00:33:06,536
I mean, put down
the books, nerds.
680
00:33:06,570 --> 00:33:08,405
Guns are the new...
681
00:33:09,573 --> 00:33:11,708
Whatever's best for B&G, so...
682
00:33:12,009 --> 00:33:14,344
Um, if you would just
excuse me a minute.
683
00:33:16,881 --> 00:33:18,582
Tinkerbell on the rag?
684
00:33:18,615 --> 00:33:19,683
Ugh!
685
00:33:19,716 --> 00:33:20,818
Bad date.
686
00:33:33,998 --> 00:33:36,399
Mack attack, ready for battle.
687
00:33:36,433 --> 00:33:37,701
Carl, don't look so scared.
688
00:33:37,734 --> 00:33:38,735
Annabelle!
689
00:33:38,770 --> 00:33:40,637
- Nice muffs.
- Thanks!
690
00:33:41,738 --> 00:33:43,875
What was that you were saying
about everybody hating me?
691
00:33:43,908 --> 00:33:46,978
And yet, here I am,
leading a day of team-building.
692
00:33:47,011 --> 00:33:49,046
Well, bully for you.
693
00:33:49,147 --> 00:33:49,847
Oh!
694
00:33:49,881 --> 00:33:50,882
Luce, cute outfit.
695
00:33:50,915 --> 00:33:51,849
Oh.
696
00:33:51,883 --> 00:33:53,450
Look, I need a tiny favor.
697
00:33:53,483 --> 00:33:54,384
Okay.
698
00:33:54,417 --> 00:33:55,887
My boyfriend's niece
is having a rough time:
699
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:57,889
drugs, illegal stuff,
there's an arson thing.
700
00:33:57,922 --> 00:33:59,791
But her mom thinks an
internship would do her good.
701
00:33:59,824 --> 00:34:01,859
No, I... I don't think
now's a good time for...
702
00:34:01,893 --> 00:34:03,761
Look, I don't wanna beg,
but I'm totally gonna beg.
703
00:34:03,795 --> 00:34:05,362
You're the only one
that can deal with her.
704
00:34:05,395 --> 00:34:06,030
Well...
705
00:34:06,063 --> 00:34:07,430
Just a couple months, okay?
706
00:34:07,464 --> 00:34:08,632
- Thank you so much!
- No...
707
00:34:08,665 --> 00:34:09,499
You know what?
708
00:34:09,533 --> 00:34:10,367
- I'm gonna text her right now.
- Oh...
709
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:11,701
- You are absolutely the best.
- No...
710
00:34:11,735 --> 00:34:13,037
Luce, the best.
711
00:34:13,070 --> 00:34:14,872
Oh, my God...
712
00:34:14,906 --> 00:34:16,774
Uh, hey, Luce, I've got this
friend and he's looking for a
713
00:34:16,808 --> 00:34:17,875
- new roommate.
- Will you shut up?
714
00:34:17,909 --> 00:34:19,543
You think you'd
wanna move in with him?
715
00:34:19,576 --> 00:34:20,710
Hey!
716
00:34:20,744 --> 00:34:21,946
Oh!
717
00:34:21,979 --> 00:34:23,613
Pretty fancy gun you got.
718
00:34:23,647 --> 00:34:25,917
JP Splatmaster 1000.
719
00:34:25,950 --> 00:34:27,885
This puppy goes 200 yards...
720
00:34:27,919 --> 00:34:29,653
no ball chop.
721
00:34:30,154 --> 00:34:31,388
Hey, you wanna be teammates?
722
00:34:31,421 --> 00:34:31,956
Yes.
723
00:34:31,989 --> 00:34:33,925
Teams are pre-selected.
724
00:34:33,958 --> 00:34:35,092
All right.
725
00:34:35,126 --> 00:34:37,494
You know, if
they're pre-selected.
726
00:34:37,962 --> 00:34:39,729
See ya out there.
727
00:34:39,764 --> 00:34:41,498
Oh, sorry.
728
00:34:42,599 --> 00:34:44,467
- Nice one, Danny.
- Helmet.
729
00:34:44,501 --> 00:34:46,137
Guy's a walking catastrophe.
730
00:34:46,170 --> 00:34:48,840
Okay, easy, Tiger,
it's his last day.
731
00:34:48,873 --> 00:34:50,473
You look pale.
732
00:34:50,942 --> 00:34:52,143
N... what are you doing?!
733
00:34:52,176 --> 00:34:53,743
You're burnin' up, Shortcake.
734
00:34:53,778 --> 00:34:56,047
I do not know
anyone by that name.
735
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:57,614
You sure you don't
wanna sit this one out?
736
00:34:57,647 --> 00:34:58,615
Oh, no.
737
00:34:58,648 --> 00:35:00,051
No, I am not going anywhere.
738
00:35:00,084 --> 00:35:03,420
I am gonna be right
here, all up in your grill,
739
00:35:03,453 --> 00:35:04,956
like a Fourth of July picnic.
740
00:35:04,989 --> 00:35:07,758
I am going to annihilate you.
741
00:35:08,159 --> 00:35:10,560
We're on the same team.
742
00:35:11,829 --> 00:35:12,997
Fuck.
743
00:35:15,099 --> 00:35:16,499
All right, listen up!
744
00:35:16,533 --> 00:35:18,836
It's gonna be two
teams, orange versus blue,
745
00:35:18,870 --> 00:35:20,670
capture the flag.
746
00:35:20,704 --> 00:35:21,538
Let's go!
747
00:35:21,571 --> 00:35:22,773
Lucy, move out!
748
00:35:22,807 --> 00:35:24,775
Go, go, go, go, go!
749
00:35:25,709 --> 00:35:26,344
Hey, move!
750
00:35:26,376 --> 00:35:28,045
Take down Templeman!
751
00:35:29,679 --> 00:35:30,815
Let's go!
752
00:35:30,848 --> 00:35:31,816
To the right!
753
00:35:31,849 --> 00:35:32,950
Go, go, go, go!
754
00:35:32,984 --> 00:35:34,018
Watch out!
755
00:35:34,218 --> 00:35:35,853
Parkour!
756
00:35:37,587 --> 00:35:38,189
What?!
757
00:35:38,222 --> 00:35:39,957
Don't you go dying on me!
758
00:35:39,991 --> 00:35:40,958
Hi, Danny.
759
00:35:40,992 --> 00:35:41,759
Fall back!
760
00:35:41,792 --> 00:35:42,626
Get the
hell out of here!
761
00:35:42,659 --> 00:35:44,962
You guys,
Templeman's in the camper!
762
00:35:44,996 --> 00:35:46,163
Ah, shit.
763
00:35:46,197 --> 00:35:47,798
Save yourselves!
764
00:35:47,832 --> 00:35:49,901
Come on, orange team!
765
00:35:49,934 --> 00:35:51,401
Move!
766
00:35:51,869 --> 00:35:53,503
Move up!
767
00:35:53,838 --> 00:35:54,638
Okay, team.
768
00:35:54,671 --> 00:35:56,007
What's the plan?
769
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:56,941
Wait for my signal.
770
00:35:56,974 --> 00:35:57,875
Wait, what?
771
00:35:57,909 --> 00:35:59,576
What's the signal?
772
00:36:03,513 --> 00:36:04,982
Okay, I'll cover you.
773
00:36:05,016 --> 00:36:06,851
Worry about yourself, GI Joe.
774
00:36:06,884 --> 00:36:08,753
The sniper's got us pinned down.
775
00:36:08,786 --> 00:36:09,987
I got this, Lucy!
776
00:36:10,021 --> 00:36:10,855
What is she doing?!
777
00:36:10,888 --> 00:36:12,823
I didn't signal!
778
00:36:12,857 --> 00:36:14,759
Here
comes the pain!
779
00:36:14,959 --> 00:36:16,593
You like that?!
780
00:36:17,028 --> 00:36:19,562
Ahh!
781
00:36:19,596 --> 00:36:22,499
Suck my paintballs, bitches!
782
00:36:22,532 --> 00:36:23,868
Lucy, I did it!
783
00:36:23,901 --> 00:36:25,069
Ow!
784
00:36:25,102 --> 00:36:26,971
Son of a bitch!
785
00:36:27,004 --> 00:36:29,606
Who shoots someone in the back?
786
00:36:29,639 --> 00:36:31,508
I knew I should've
gone with the Splatmaster.
787
00:36:31,541 --> 00:36:33,576
Aw, poor Danny.
788
00:36:34,477 --> 00:36:37,081
Mother of
dragons, that hurt!
789
00:36:37,114 --> 00:36:38,082
Seriously?!
790
00:36:38,115 --> 00:36:39,683
I'm already out!
791
00:36:39,716 --> 00:36:41,018
Sorry.
792
00:36:41,052 --> 00:36:42,253
Was that really necessary?
793
00:36:42,286 --> 00:36:44,822
All's fair in love and war.
794
00:36:45,056 --> 00:36:45,923
Okay.
795
00:36:45,957 --> 00:36:47,557
I'm gonna make a run for it.
796
00:36:47,590 --> 00:36:48,725
And let you get all the glory?
797
00:36:48,759 --> 00:36:49,626
Hell no, Templeman.
798
00:36:49,659 --> 00:36:51,996
Better act
quick, then, Shortcake.
799
00:36:57,734 --> 00:36:59,070
- Come here!
- What are you doing?!
800
00:36:59,103 --> 00:37:01,906
You
never bring cupcakes!
801
00:37:01,939 --> 00:37:03,707
We're on the same team!
802
00:37:03,740 --> 00:37:04,708
Get off!
803
00:37:04,741 --> 00:37:06,743
Go, Lucy, go!
804
00:37:18,688 --> 00:37:20,257
- Stay down.
- What are you doing?
805
00:37:20,291 --> 00:37:22,159
Get off me!
806
00:37:25,528 --> 00:37:27,898
Total domination!
807
00:37:27,932 --> 00:37:29,100
You hurt her!
808
00:37:29,133 --> 00:37:29,967
Oh, my God.
809
00:37:30,001 --> 00:37:31,135
Lucy, I'm sorry, I
got carried away.
810
00:37:31,168 --> 00:37:32,003
Stop.
811
00:37:32,036 --> 00:37:33,137
Stop it.
812
00:37:33,170 --> 00:37:34,305
Ugh, get this thing off me.
813
00:37:34,338 --> 00:37:35,605
It's like a million degrees.
814
00:37:35,638 --> 00:37:36,807
Luce, you're sweating.
815
00:37:36,841 --> 00:37:37,775
Oh, my God, is it
internal bleeding?
816
00:37:37,808 --> 00:37:38,876
Is she gonna die?
817
00:37:38,909 --> 00:37:40,643
No, she doesn't have a
fever because you shot her,
818
00:37:40,677 --> 00:37:41,278
you dick.
819
00:37:41,312 --> 00:37:42,213
Are you okay?
820
00:37:42,246 --> 00:37:43,080
She's fine.
821
00:37:43,114 --> 00:37:44,614
No, I'm fine,
don't worry...
822
00:37:44,647 --> 00:37:47,118
- Okay, all right.
- Oh, God.
823
00:37:47,151 --> 00:37:48,085
Let's get you up.
824
00:37:48,119 --> 00:37:49,686
Come on, time to go home.
825
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:52,023
Yeah, paintball's over.
826
00:37:54,091 --> 00:37:56,060
I'm sorry.
827
00:37:58,162 --> 00:38:00,297
All right, here you go.
828
00:38:08,172 --> 00:38:10,107
What are you doing here?
829
00:38:10,141 --> 00:38:11,776
I drove you home.
830
00:38:11,809 --> 00:38:12,276
No, I know.
831
00:38:12,309 --> 00:38:13,344
Why are you...
832
00:38:13,377 --> 00:38:15,079
standing in my
apartment right now?
833
00:38:15,112 --> 00:38:16,213
What do you
think I was gonna do,
834
00:38:16,247 --> 00:38:18,282
just open the door and
kick you out of a moving car?
835
00:38:18,315 --> 00:38:20,017
I'm... fine.
836
00:38:20,051 --> 00:38:21,651
Yeah, okay.
837
00:38:21,684 --> 00:38:22,619
You gonna be sick?
838
00:38:22,652 --> 00:38:25,823
Okay, bathroom, go, go, go, go.
839
00:38:27,091 --> 00:38:28,292
There you go.
840
00:38:28,325 --> 00:38:30,761
Yeah.
841
00:38:31,028 --> 00:38:31,996
Ugh.
842
00:38:33,764 --> 00:38:37,001
Oh, the humanity.
843
00:38:37,034 --> 00:38:38,769
Okay.
844
00:39:37,828 --> 00:39:39,096
Ow.
845
00:39:39,130 --> 00:39:40,397
Sorry.
846
00:39:42,199 --> 00:39:43,834
Ugh.
847
00:39:48,305 --> 00:39:50,774
- Still alive in there?
- Yeah.
848
00:39:50,808 --> 00:39:52,376
All right, sit up.
849
00:39:52,877 --> 00:39:54,912
Time to take your temp.
850
00:40:00,251 --> 00:40:01,919
Open up, Rambo.
851
00:40:01,952 --> 00:40:03,754
There you go.
852
00:40:05,022 --> 00:40:07,224
You're in my bedroom.
853
00:40:09,293 --> 00:40:11,095
I'm wearing Sleepysaurus.
854
00:40:11,128 --> 00:40:12,830
Try not to
talk, Shortcake.
855
00:40:12,863 --> 00:40:15,132
I know that's hard for you.
856
00:40:17,768 --> 00:40:19,336
Here we go.
857
00:40:20,237 --> 00:40:21,172
102.8.
858
00:40:21,205 --> 00:40:24,808
Ooh, that's not very
nice, Mr. Thermometer.
859
00:40:27,278 --> 00:40:29,280
Are you laughing?
860
00:40:30,281 --> 00:40:33,017
Oh, I must be hallucinating.
861
00:40:33,284 --> 00:40:34,451
Sit tight.
862
00:40:34,485 --> 00:40:36,287
I'll be back.
863
00:40:42,326 --> 00:40:44,161
No, there's two of you.
864
00:40:44,195 --> 00:40:48,199
Josh must have
gotten wet after midnight.
865
00:40:49,833 --> 00:40:51,302
- Lucy?
- Mm.
866
00:40:51,335 --> 00:40:51,835
I'm a doctor.
867
00:40:51,869 --> 00:40:53,103
How are you feeling?
868
00:40:53,137 --> 00:40:54,138
Not so good.
869
00:40:54,171 --> 00:40:56,207
She's got a fever of 103.
870
00:40:56,607 --> 00:40:58,242
All right, let's sit you up.
871
00:40:58,275 --> 00:40:59,810
Okay.
872
00:41:07,251 --> 00:41:09,820
You are really handsome.
873
00:41:09,853 --> 00:41:11,822
Thank you.
874
00:41:11,855 --> 00:41:15,192
People always say Josh
is the good-looking one.
875
00:41:15,559 --> 00:41:18,162
Oh, you're his brother.
876
00:41:18,195 --> 00:41:21,198
Oh, you must've wanted to beat
him up so much when you were a
877
00:41:21,232 --> 00:41:23,234
kid.
878
00:41:23,267 --> 00:41:24,068
I like her.
879
00:41:24,101 --> 00:41:25,202
Oh, she's very special.
880
00:41:25,236 --> 00:41:27,004
Wait, can you tell me
embarrassing things about him?
881
00:41:27,037 --> 00:41:28,539
You must know all
the best stuff.
882
00:41:28,572 --> 00:41:30,341
Well, um...
883
00:41:30,374 --> 00:41:32,042
He used to dress
up like a dog...
884
00:41:32,076 --> 00:41:33,110
No...
885
00:41:33,143 --> 00:41:34,311
Make our mom walk him
around the block.
886
00:41:34,345 --> 00:41:36,914
Oh, my God, this
is the best day of my life.
887
00:41:36,947 --> 00:41:38,515
I was a kid, thank you.
888
00:41:38,549 --> 00:41:39,550
He was 12.
889
00:41:39,583 --> 00:41:40,184
No!
890
00:41:40,217 --> 00:41:41,418
Oh, Josh, that's too old.
891
00:41:41,452 --> 00:41:43,921
All right, thank you very much
for the house call, Doctor.
892
00:41:43,954 --> 00:41:45,256
Time to go.
893
00:41:45,289 --> 00:41:47,057
Laughter's the
best medicine, right?
894
00:41:51,362 --> 00:41:53,264
No...
895
00:41:53,731 --> 00:41:55,966
You did all the right things.
896
00:41:56,533 --> 00:41:58,235
You would've been good at this.
897
00:41:59,069 --> 00:42:02,106
I'm not trying to
be a dick, come on.
898
00:42:02,406 --> 00:42:04,408
I'm just saying, you did good.
899
00:42:07,244 --> 00:42:09,246
So...
900
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,415
you ever gonna RSVP?
901
00:42:11,448 --> 00:42:14,351
It's just that, you know, Mindy
and I need a final head count.
902
00:42:14,385 --> 00:42:16,420
Yeah, yeah, uh...
903
00:42:16,453 --> 00:42:18,188
I've just been slammed at work.
904
00:42:18,222 --> 00:42:19,390
Sorry.
905
00:42:19,790 --> 00:42:21,492
Look, man...
906
00:42:21,525 --> 00:42:23,961
it's awkward, I get it.
907
00:42:23,994 --> 00:42:27,131
But when your brother
gets married, you show up.
908
00:42:27,164 --> 00:42:28,232
Bring a plus one.
909
00:42:28,265 --> 00:42:30,234
Oh yeah, right,
'cause that's what we need:
910
00:42:30,267 --> 00:42:33,570
more witnesses to our
absurd family drama.
911
00:42:34,104 --> 00:42:36,173
Keep her fluids up.
912
00:42:37,241 --> 00:42:39,943
Call me if the fever gets worse.
913
00:42:40,277 --> 00:42:41,111
Thank you, Pat.
914
00:42:41,145 --> 00:42:43,113
Thank
you, little brother.
915
00:42:50,321 --> 00:42:52,856
- How are we doin'?
- Hey.
916
00:42:53,257 --> 00:42:55,359
I brought you a little water.
917
00:42:57,594 --> 00:42:59,296
N... I'm not a baby.
918
00:42:59,330 --> 00:43:00,631
You already broke
two glasses earlier,
919
00:43:00,664 --> 00:43:03,367
so better safe than sorry.
920
00:43:04,034 --> 00:43:06,036
There you go.
921
00:43:07,504 --> 00:43:09,573
My mom always gave me
strawberry juice when I was
922
00:43:09,606 --> 00:43:11,308
sick.
923
00:43:11,675 --> 00:43:12,777
What did yours do?
924
00:43:12,811 --> 00:43:15,946
Oh, they were always too
busy treating other people.
925
00:43:15,979 --> 00:43:17,247
If you weren't in
cardiac arrest,
926
00:43:17,281 --> 00:43:20,017
your ailment
didn't exactly rank.
927
00:43:20,050 --> 00:43:21,485
Is your whole family doctors?
928
00:43:21,518 --> 00:43:23,287
And surgeons.
929
00:43:23,654 --> 00:43:25,389
Except me.
930
00:43:27,458 --> 00:43:30,194
Has anyone ever told you that
you look like a young Dennis
931
00:43:30,227 --> 00:43:31,195
Quaid?
932
00:43:32,396 --> 00:43:34,365
I think it's time to take
your temp again, Shortcake.
933
00:43:34,398 --> 00:43:36,200
No, stop calling me that.
934
00:43:36,233 --> 00:43:37,668
Oh, not a chance.
935
00:43:37,701 --> 00:43:40,204
Watching you pretend to hate
that nickname is the best part
936
00:43:40,237 --> 00:43:41,872
of my day.
937
00:43:42,172 --> 00:43:44,174
You changed shirts.
938
00:43:44,408 --> 00:43:46,477
You look like an Old Navy model.
939
00:43:46,510 --> 00:43:48,045
My brother brought it for me.
940
00:43:48,078 --> 00:43:49,980
You puked on the
other one, remember?
941
00:43:50,013 --> 00:43:51,982
- Oh, yeah.
- Mm.
942
00:43:52,883 --> 00:43:57,988
Dove gray, white, powder
blue, window pane, true blue.
943
00:43:58,021 --> 00:44:00,290
- What's that?
- Your shirts.
944
00:44:00,324 --> 00:44:03,327
Always in the same order.
945
00:44:04,628 --> 00:44:07,131
I guess I am that predictable.
946
00:44:07,164 --> 00:44:09,700
Yeah, you only
surprised me once.
947
00:44:09,733 --> 00:44:12,436
- When was that?
- The elevator.
948
00:44:13,337 --> 00:44:15,172
And...
949
00:44:15,205 --> 00:44:17,241
what did you think about that?
950
00:44:20,411 --> 00:44:23,347
Yeah, I thought
it was really hot.
951
00:44:30,354 --> 00:44:32,389
Are we playing the staring game?
952
00:44:32,423 --> 00:44:34,391
It's my favorite.
953
00:44:35,526 --> 00:44:38,362
I like the way you look at me.
954
00:44:41,698 --> 00:44:43,967
Get some rest.
955
00:45:02,453 --> 00:45:03,554
Josh?
956
00:45:03,587 --> 00:45:06,457
Oh, she lives!
957
00:45:07,224 --> 00:45:09,460
Why are you
cleaning my apartment?
958
00:45:09,493 --> 00:45:10,694
Oh, actually, I
didn't clean it.
959
00:45:10,727 --> 00:45:12,729
I demoed the whole thing and
rebuilt it from the ground up
960
00:45:12,764 --> 00:45:14,031
with a team of elves.
961
00:45:14,064 --> 00:45:15,165
Figured it was easier.
962
00:45:15,199 --> 00:45:18,135
Okay, just 'cause I'm not
turned on by the smell of
963
00:45:18,168 --> 00:45:19,303
cleaning supplies...
964
00:45:19,336 --> 00:45:21,605
Weird, that doesn't
sound like "Thank you"...
965
00:45:21,638 --> 00:45:23,207
- No...
- But you're very welcome.
966
00:45:23,240 --> 00:45:24,074
Thank you.
967
00:45:24,107 --> 00:45:25,542
Seriously, thank
you for everything.
968
00:45:25,576 --> 00:45:27,544
But just... would
you... stop, stop.
969
00:45:27,578 --> 00:45:28,111
This is weird.
970
00:45:28,145 --> 00:45:30,013
This is way too weird.
971
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:32,784
Oh, and if you use any
of this against me...
972
00:45:32,817 --> 00:45:36,086
Oh, right, because knowing
the consistency of your vomit's
973
00:45:36,119 --> 00:45:37,588
really gonna give me
a competitive edge.
974
00:45:37,621 --> 00:45:38,622
No, Josh, stop.
975
00:45:38,655 --> 00:45:39,757
No, I get it, it's fine.
976
00:45:39,791 --> 00:45:42,559
My brother left a prescription
for you on the table.
977
00:45:42,593 --> 00:45:44,294
See you at the office.
978
00:45:51,803 --> 00:45:53,437
Shit.
979
00:45:57,641 --> 00:45:59,142
Did you know daisies
are found on every continent
980
00:45:59,176 --> 00:46:01,612
except Antartica-arctica?
981
00:46:01,645 --> 00:46:03,113
Oh, gotta go.
982
00:46:03,146 --> 00:46:04,147
Lucy!
983
00:46:04,181 --> 00:46:05,516
Hi!
984
00:46:05,549 --> 00:46:06,483
What are you doing here?
985
00:46:06,517 --> 00:46:08,519
I got you these.
986
00:46:08,820 --> 00:46:09,653
Always with the flowers.
987
00:46:09,686 --> 00:46:11,121
You're very sweet.
988
00:46:11,154 --> 00:46:12,356
How are you feeling?
989
00:46:12,389 --> 00:46:15,359
Like my body survived a
violent alien abduction.
990
00:46:15,392 --> 00:46:18,161
Fun fact about alien
abductions: not violent.
991
00:46:18,195 --> 00:46:20,631
They get a bad rep 'cause of all
the probe stuff but my personal
992
00:46:20,664 --> 00:46:22,800
feelings are that aliens
are actually people from,
993
00:46:22,834 --> 00:46:25,435
like, a million years from
now just checkin' in on their
994
00:46:25,469 --> 00:46:26,603
ancestors.
995
00:46:26,637 --> 00:46:27,839
I don't know if you've read
Nick Bostrom's 'Simulation
996
00:46:27,872 --> 00:46:30,607
Hypothesis, ' but if you build a
quantum computer the size of a
997
00:46:30,641 --> 00:46:31,508
planet...
998
00:46:33,878 --> 00:46:34,979
And after you.
999
00:46:35,013 --> 00:46:35,947
If you think about the
exponential rate of computing
1000
00:46:35,980 --> 00:46:39,149
power alone from, like,
40 years ago 'til now,
1001
00:46:39,182 --> 00:46:41,786
and then you do that from, like,
4,000 years or four million
1002
00:46:41,819 --> 00:46:44,555
years, there's basically
no way we're not aliens.
1003
00:46:45,589 --> 00:46:46,523
That's... that's cool.
1004
00:46:46,557 --> 00:46:47,759
- It's crazy, right?
- Yeah.
1005
00:46:49,994 --> 00:46:52,429
Hey, so you wanna
get dinner tonight?
1006
00:46:53,363 --> 00:46:54,264
Maybe.
1007
00:46:54,298 --> 00:46:56,533
I'll... I'll have to
see how I'm feeling.
1008
00:46:57,001 --> 00:46:58,803
Hey, JTT!
1009
00:46:58,836 --> 00:47:00,237
Temple-man.
1010
00:47:00,270 --> 00:47:01,806
What's up, dude bro?
1011
00:47:01,839 --> 00:47:03,640
You don't work here anymore.
1012
00:47:03,674 --> 00:47:04,776
Yeah.
1013
00:47:04,809 --> 00:47:06,577
Just checkin' in on my girl.
1014
00:47:06,610 --> 00:47:08,645
The old Lucy Goose.
1015
00:47:08,679 --> 00:47:11,248
Lucille Ball 'n' Chain.
1016
00:47:11,281 --> 00:47:14,518
Lucy in the Sky with Danny.
1017
00:47:16,353 --> 00:47:17,621
Wow.
1018
00:47:17,654 --> 00:47:18,790
Okay.
1019
00:47:18,823 --> 00:47:20,758
No vibe, huh?
1020
00:47:22,292 --> 00:47:23,226
Lucy?
1021
00:47:23,260 --> 00:47:24,896
Can you come see me
when you get settled?
1022
00:47:24,929 --> 00:47:26,697
Yeah, yeah, just one second.
1023
00:47:26,730 --> 00:47:29,099
- Um...
- Guess that's my cue.
1024
00:47:29,934 --> 00:47:31,201
Oh.
1025
00:47:31,234 --> 00:47:32,070
Thanks.
1026
00:47:32,102 --> 00:47:33,570
- Yeah, I'll email you.
- Okay.
1027
00:47:33,604 --> 00:47:35,439
Cool, cool, cool, cool.
1028
00:47:37,307 --> 00:47:38,475
Oh.
1029
00:47:42,780 --> 00:47:44,548
Strawberry juice.
1030
00:47:50,621 --> 00:47:53,290
You sent the roses.
1031
00:47:58,595 --> 00:48:00,664
Joshua Templeman.
1032
00:48:01,598 --> 00:48:02,934
Yes, I'll be right there.
1033
00:48:02,967 --> 00:48:04,501
Thank you.
1034
00:48:06,336 --> 00:48:08,505
Glad you're feeling better.
1035
00:48:10,741 --> 00:48:12,342
Crap.
1036
00:48:17,581 --> 00:48:18,448
Oh.
1037
00:48:18,482 --> 00:48:20,751
I saw you
submitted your application.
1038
00:48:20,785 --> 00:48:21,886
I know, it's a long-shot.
1039
00:48:21,919 --> 00:48:23,253
Are you kidding me?
1040
00:48:23,286 --> 00:48:25,322
I'm counting on you
getting this job.
1041
00:48:25,355 --> 00:48:27,624
We can't let Bexley turn
this place into some kind of...
1042
00:48:27,658 --> 00:48:28,960
Commercial shit house?
1043
00:48:28,993 --> 00:48:31,261
I was
gonna say "factory."
1044
00:48:31,294 --> 00:48:32,096
But yeah.
1045
00:48:32,130 --> 00:48:33,898
Josh submitted his
application too.
1046
00:48:33,931 --> 00:48:34,766
I know.
1047
00:48:34,799 --> 00:48:37,401
His Harvard MBA
won't hurt his chances.
1048
00:48:37,434 --> 00:48:39,871
I have a Master's
in Victorian Lit.
1049
00:48:39,904 --> 00:48:40,737
Does that count?
1050
00:48:40,772 --> 00:48:42,239
For me, it does.
1051
00:48:42,272 --> 00:48:44,508
Not so much for
the money people.
1052
00:48:44,541 --> 00:48:47,244
There are a lot of
good candidates, Lucy.
1053
00:48:47,277 --> 00:48:48,980
Will you be honest with me?
1054
00:48:49,013 --> 00:48:50,180
How much of a shot do I have?
1055
00:48:50,213 --> 00:48:52,582
Because I really want this
job and I... I need to prepare
1056
00:48:52,616 --> 00:48:53,283
myself...
1057
00:48:53,316 --> 00:48:55,285
Don't underestimate yourself.
1058
00:48:55,318 --> 00:48:58,622
You already coordinate
every department on my behalf.
1059
00:48:58,655 --> 00:49:00,657
You know this company
from the bottom up.
1060
00:49:00,691 --> 00:49:02,292
You have fantastic instincts.
1061
00:49:02,325 --> 00:49:03,795
Frankly...
1062
00:49:03,828 --> 00:49:07,364
I should have promoted
you to editorial years ago.
1063
00:49:07,664 --> 00:49:10,333
Why didn't you?
1064
00:49:10,968 --> 00:49:13,670
You never asked.
1065
00:49:13,905 --> 00:49:17,374
And I rely on you to do the
parts of my job that I hate
1066
00:49:17,407 --> 00:49:22,412
doing, which is why you'd
make a great managing director.
1067
00:49:31,989 --> 00:49:33,991
I'm trying to say thank you.
1068
00:49:34,025 --> 00:49:34,792
No need.
1069
00:49:34,826 --> 00:49:36,393
You helped me, okay?
1070
00:49:36,426 --> 00:49:37,294
And I owe you a favor.
1071
00:49:37,327 --> 00:49:38,228
What can I do for you?
1072
00:49:38,261 --> 00:49:39,362
I will clean your apartment.
1073
00:49:39,396 --> 00:49:40,597
I will bake you a cake.
1074
00:49:40,630 --> 00:49:42,532
I will... I will go with you to
your brother's wedding and I
1075
00:49:42,566 --> 00:49:43,734
will be your designated driver.
1076
00:49:43,768 --> 00:49:46,838
You can get shit-faced drunk
and I will clean up your vomit.
1077
00:49:46,871 --> 00:49:48,106
How do you know about that?
1078
00:49:48,139 --> 00:49:50,407
Because I overheard you in my
kitchen and I know you need a
1079
00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:50,942
plus one.
1080
00:49:50,975 --> 00:49:52,309
Are you mad at me?
1081
00:49:52,342 --> 00:49:54,344
I'm not mad at
you, I'm just busy.
1082
00:49:54,377 --> 00:49:56,747
My God, Lucinda, can I
please get a moment alone?
1083
00:49:56,781 --> 00:49:57,447
No.
1084
00:49:57,481 --> 00:49:58,582
Not until you say we're even.
1085
00:49:58,615 --> 00:50:00,617
What do you mean "even?"
1086
00:50:04,889 --> 00:50:05,790
This is cozy.
1087
00:50:05,823 --> 00:50:07,724
Just say that I can
take you to the wedding.
1088
00:50:07,759 --> 00:50:08,592
Is that what you want?
1089
00:50:08,625 --> 00:50:10,494
No, what I want is
to stop fighting.
1090
00:50:10,527 --> 00:50:12,596
I want just a tiny sliver
of peace in my daily life.
1091
00:50:12,629 --> 00:50:14,564
And to die
very slowly of boredom.
1092
00:50:14,598 --> 00:50:16,733
Oh, no, I won't be bored, I'll
have this fantastic new job to
1093
00:50:16,768 --> 00:50:17,769
keep me occupied.
1094
00:50:17,802 --> 00:50:18,702
You're not getting the job.
1095
00:50:18,735 --> 00:50:19,904
No!
1096
00:50:26,844 --> 00:50:29,279
Put your hands on me.
1097
00:50:30,882 --> 00:50:33,383
You can put them on yourself.
1098
00:50:41,025 --> 00:50:42,659
Kiss me.
1099
00:50:45,662 --> 00:50:47,697
Do me a favor?
1100
00:50:47,899 --> 00:50:49,566
What?
1101
00:50:50,734 --> 00:50:53,637
Go to dinner with
Danny and kiss him.
1102
00:50:54,638 --> 00:50:55,873
What?
1103
00:50:55,907 --> 00:50:56,974
Why?
1104
00:50:57,008 --> 00:50:59,643
If it's better than our
elevator kiss, then fine.
1105
00:50:59,676 --> 00:51:01,045
- But if it's not...
- What is with you?
1106
00:51:01,078 --> 00:51:03,881
I... I don't wanna be some
experiment before you settle
1107
00:51:03,915 --> 00:51:05,783
down with Mr. Right.
1108
00:51:06,516 --> 00:51:10,054
And I'm not gonna put my hands
on you again unless you tell me
1109
00:51:10,087 --> 00:51:13,356
that nobody
kisses you like I do.
1110
00:51:20,497 --> 00:51:23,134
Wow, this view
is... it's incredible!
1111
00:51:23,167 --> 00:51:24,936
This is very romantic.
1112
00:51:24,969 --> 00:51:26,670
Well, not just romantic...
1113
00:51:26,703 --> 00:51:27,839
historical.
1114
00:51:27,872 --> 00:51:29,807
Did you know that in
the American Revolution,
1115
00:51:29,841 --> 00:51:32,109
the British used to keep
prisoners of war on a boat in
1116
00:51:32,143 --> 00:51:33,476
the East River?
1117
00:51:33,510 --> 00:51:35,813
And like 12,000 of them died.
1118
00:51:35,847 --> 00:51:37,447
And they didn't know
what to do with the bodies,
1119
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:39,683
so they just
dumped them overboard.
1120
00:51:39,716 --> 00:51:41,685
I mean, literally
picture that in your mind.
1121
00:51:41,718 --> 00:51:43,486
Oh, I am.
1122
00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:45,923
So, anyway, how's
business going?
1123
00:51:45,957 --> 00:51:47,424
Yeah...
1124
00:51:47,457 --> 00:51:48,658
it's going all right.
1125
00:51:48,692 --> 00:51:51,595
I've got like four clients and
pitching two more this week.
1126
00:51:51,628 --> 00:51:53,496
And, you know, if you
get that promoshe...
1127
00:51:53,530 --> 00:51:55,532
Yes, I will
definitely keep you in mind.
1128
00:51:55,565 --> 00:51:57,101
I, uh, got something for you.
1129
00:51:57,134 --> 00:51:58,803
Danny, that's so thoughtful!
1130
00:51:58,836 --> 00:52:00,805
♪ Check this out! ♪
1131
00:52:01,873 --> 00:52:03,074
A business card!
1132
00:52:03,107 --> 00:52:05,709
For all your
graphic design needs.
1133
00:52:05,742 --> 00:52:06,543
Thank you.
1134
00:52:06,576 --> 00:52:08,678
Designed it myself.
1135
00:52:09,479 --> 00:52:11,816
Hey, have you ever
thought about kissing me?
1136
00:52:11,849 --> 00:52:14,451
Only every day since you
spilled coffee on my lap in my
1137
00:52:14,484 --> 00:52:16,486
first staff meeting.
1138
00:52:28,565 --> 00:52:29,532
Wow.
1139
00:52:30,902 --> 00:52:33,871
- Wow, wow.
- Yeah.
1140
00:53:00,765 --> 00:53:02,833
Do you think he's home?
1141
00:53:03,566 --> 00:53:04,969
What, are you
stalking me, Shortcake?
1142
00:53:05,002 --> 00:53:07,671
Yeah, just went through
your garbage, actually.
1143
00:53:07,704 --> 00:53:08,571
- Really?
- Mm-hm.
1144
00:53:08,605 --> 00:53:09,506
Find anything interesting?
1145
00:53:09,539 --> 00:53:12,209
You know, the usual
stuff: food scraps,
1146
00:53:12,243 --> 00:53:13,945
stiff Kleenex, adult diapers.
1147
00:53:16,113 --> 00:53:17,614
You should always laugh.
1148
00:53:17,647 --> 00:53:20,017
You should always be funny.
1149
00:53:20,051 --> 00:53:21,685
So, how was your date?
1150
00:53:21,718 --> 00:53:25,588
Did he roll the last meatball
over to you with his nose?
1151
00:53:26,223 --> 00:53:28,759
- Did you kiss him?
- Yeah.
1152
00:53:28,793 --> 00:53:30,593
And?
1153
00:53:30,828 --> 00:53:32,163
And...
1154
00:53:32,196 --> 00:53:36,033
I... am not going to
date him anymore.
1155
00:53:36,067 --> 00:53:37,902
Because?
1156
00:53:40,972 --> 00:53:43,941
Because nobody
kisses me like you do.
1157
00:53:48,745 --> 00:53:49,947
Mm.
1158
00:53:51,315 --> 00:53:53,750
Oh, my God.
1159
00:53:53,784 --> 00:53:55,052
What?
1160
00:53:55,086 --> 00:53:57,855
That sound you just made.
1161
00:54:03,995 --> 00:54:06,596
Hey, are you gonna
invite me inside?
1162
00:54:06,629 --> 00:54:07,264
I mean, it's only fair.
1163
00:54:07,298 --> 00:54:09,767
I showed you mine.
1164
00:54:14,105 --> 00:54:16,073
Wow.
1165
00:54:16,107 --> 00:54:18,075
I really like it.
1166
00:54:18,641 --> 00:54:21,946
I halfway expected you
to live underground,
1167
00:54:21,979 --> 00:54:24,048
near the Earth's core.
1168
00:54:24,081 --> 00:54:26,083
You wanna snoop?
1169
00:54:26,117 --> 00:54:27,318
No.
1170
00:54:27,351 --> 00:54:28,252
You wanna snoop.
1171
00:54:28,285 --> 00:54:29,353
I snooped at your place.
1172
00:54:29,387 --> 00:54:31,856
Yeah, that's 'cause my
place is like a flea market
1173
00:54:31,889 --> 00:54:33,758
compared to this.
1174
00:54:33,791 --> 00:54:35,226
Where's all your junk?
1175
00:54:35,259 --> 00:54:37,795
I like a clean space.
1176
00:54:38,396 --> 00:54:41,032
I... kinda thought
once you got me up here,
1177
00:54:41,065 --> 00:54:43,000
you were gonna ravish me.
1178
00:54:43,034 --> 00:54:45,336
I'm making you a tea instead.
1179
00:54:45,369 --> 00:54:47,972
How about something stronger?
1180
00:54:53,177 --> 00:54:56,013
I like your
matchbox car collection.
1181
00:54:56,047 --> 00:54:59,582
It's like you were
an actual child once.
1182
00:55:05,389 --> 00:55:06,824
Wait...
1183
00:55:06,857 --> 00:55:09,860
you don't have a
single Bexley book here.
1184
00:55:10,494 --> 00:55:13,696
Oh, my God, you are a Gamin.
1185
00:55:13,730 --> 00:55:17,001
I'm not a Gamin,
I just prefer Gamin books.
1186
00:55:17,034 --> 00:55:20,071
You are such a Gamin.
1187
00:55:24,041 --> 00:55:27,278
Oh, you really like
to read about dicks.
1188
00:55:27,311 --> 00:55:29,612
Well, knowledge is power.
1189
00:55:30,014 --> 00:55:33,250
No, actually, I went to
medical school for a year.
1190
00:55:33,750 --> 00:55:36,887
Oh, my God, that's why
Bexley calls you "Dr. Josh."
1191
00:55:36,921 --> 00:55:41,025
To remind me of my failure
to live up to my potential.
1192
00:55:46,430 --> 00:55:47,932
- Ooh.
- Hm.
1193
00:55:47,965 --> 00:55:49,166
You know...
1194
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:53,304
if you were a doctor, all of
your lady patients would have
1195
00:55:53,337 --> 00:55:55,072
astronomical heart rates.
1196
00:55:55,106 --> 00:55:55,906
Mm.
1197
00:55:55,940 --> 00:55:57,408
Well, let's test
that theory, huh?
1198
00:55:57,441 --> 00:55:58,576
Mm-hm.
1199
00:55:58,608 --> 00:56:01,879
Imagine I'm sliding a
stethoscope inside your shirt.
1200
00:56:01,912 --> 00:56:02,947
Ooh.
1201
00:56:02,980 --> 00:56:04,348
Giving me a new kink.
1202
00:56:04,381 --> 00:56:07,184
Pounding heart,
raging case of horny.
1203
00:56:07,218 --> 00:56:09,386
I... I think your
condition may be serious.
1204
00:56:09,420 --> 00:56:10,855
Will I die?
1205
00:56:10,888 --> 00:56:12,356
A few days in
bed should cure it.
1206
00:56:12,389 --> 00:56:15,126
Oh, my gosh, I
wanna see your bedroom.
1207
00:56:19,930 --> 00:56:22,933
Oh, I love the color.
1208
00:56:22,967 --> 00:56:25,803
It's Benjamin
Moore Calypso Green.
1209
00:56:25,836 --> 00:56:28,072
Very specific.-
1210
00:56:35,745 --> 00:56:37,148
C'mere.
1211
00:56:46,290 --> 00:56:47,791
The copycat game.
1212
00:56:47,825 --> 00:56:49,692
Classic.
1213
00:56:51,862 --> 00:56:53,964
Truth or dare.
1214
00:56:54,431 --> 00:56:55,266
Truth.
1215
00:56:55,299 --> 00:56:57,234
Aw, I was kinda
hoping you'd say "Dare."
1216
00:56:57,268 --> 00:56:59,770
I'm sorry to disappoint.
1217
00:57:00,404 --> 00:57:03,240
Why did you quit med school?
1218
00:57:03,274 --> 00:57:06,143
After two semesters, my dad
though it'd be a good idea for
1219
00:57:06,177 --> 00:57:08,245
me to spend a day in
the coroner's wing.
1220
00:57:08,279 --> 00:57:09,180
Mm.
1221
00:57:09,213 --> 00:57:10,747
Five minutes in...
1222
00:57:10,781 --> 00:57:12,983
I puked inside a
dead guy's stomach.
1223
00:57:13,017 --> 00:57:15,319
Oh, my God, I would
still be having nightmares.
1224
00:57:19,023 --> 00:57:21,458
Okay, so what's
this muscle called?
1225
00:57:21,492 --> 00:57:23,093
Brachioradialis.
1226
00:57:23,127 --> 00:57:24,295
Mm.
1227
00:57:24,328 --> 00:57:26,197
And this?
1228
00:57:26,230 --> 00:57:28,799
Anterior deltoid.
1229
00:57:28,832 --> 00:57:30,301
What about this one?
1230
00:57:30,334 --> 00:57:31,135
Biceps.
1231
00:57:31,168 --> 00:57:33,971
Oh, yeah, I knew that.
1232
00:57:34,004 --> 00:57:35,272
- Oh, but what about this one?
- Oh!
1233
00:57:42,213 --> 00:57:43,746
Hi.
1234
00:57:44,815 --> 00:57:46,150
Hi.
1235
00:57:54,491 --> 00:57:56,927
You taste like candy.
1236
00:58:01,265 --> 00:58:03,467
Oh, my God, please remind me to
write a thank you note to your
1237
00:58:03,500 --> 00:58:04,535
personal trainer.
1238
00:58:05,436 --> 00:58:07,538
I do spend a lot
of time in the gym.
1239
00:58:07,571 --> 00:58:10,975
Being forced to look at you for
eight hours a day leaves me with
1240
00:58:11,008 --> 00:58:13,477
a lot of excess
energy I have to work off.
1241
00:58:13,510 --> 00:58:15,312
Well, I...
1242
00:58:15,346 --> 00:58:17,181
can help you burn some calories.
1243
00:58:17,214 --> 00:58:18,182
- Oh, really?
- Mm-hm.
1244
00:58:18,215 --> 00:58:19,283
How would you do that?
1245
00:58:19,316 --> 00:58:22,353
Well, I'm thinking we
should play a very special game.
1246
00:58:22,386 --> 00:58:24,922
It's called "Who Can
Make the Other Come First?"
1247
00:58:26,190 --> 00:58:27,391
- Okay.
- Seriously, Josh.
1248
00:58:27,424 --> 00:58:29,326
I just think we should have
sex and just get it out of our
1249
00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:30,494
- system.
- Right.
1250
00:58:30,527 --> 00:58:32,930
And then, we can go back to
normal without all this...
1251
00:58:32,963 --> 00:58:34,898
crazy sexual tension.
1252
00:58:38,135 --> 00:58:39,903
All right, Shortcake.
1253
00:58:39,937 --> 00:58:41,972
I think it's getting late.
1254
00:58:44,575 --> 00:58:46,343
What?
1255
00:58:47,578 --> 00:58:50,281
Wh... but I just offered you sex.
1256
00:58:50,314 --> 00:58:52,283
And, like, very
enthusiastic sex.
1257
00:58:52,316 --> 00:58:53,217
And I appreciate it.
1258
00:58:53,250 --> 00:58:54,218
Maybe some other time.
1259
00:58:54,251 --> 00:58:56,353
Maybe some other time?
1260
00:58:56,387 --> 00:58:58,222
That's what you say when
you turn down a muffin,
1261
00:58:58,255 --> 00:58:59,923
not sex.
1262
00:59:00,124 --> 00:59:01,325
Is this about the job?
1263
00:59:01,358 --> 00:59:04,061
Yeah, it probably is unwise
to sleep with the competition.
1264
00:59:04,094 --> 00:59:06,196
Right, get me to beg for sex
and then kick me out of your
1265
00:59:06,230 --> 00:59:06,765
apartment.
1266
00:59:06,797 --> 00:59:07,631
Nice move, Templeman.
1267
00:59:07,665 --> 00:59:10,067
- You were begging?
- That's not funny.
1268
00:59:10,100 --> 00:59:11,135
Are you toying with me?
1269
00:59:11,168 --> 00:59:12,603
I think you're the one
playing games here, Luce.
1270
00:59:12,636 --> 00:59:13,971
All right, well,
whatever this is,
1271
00:59:14,004 --> 00:59:16,273
I don't wanna do it anymore.
1272
00:59:37,461 --> 00:59:38,395
Morning.
1273
00:59:38,429 --> 00:59:40,097
Morning.
1274
00:59:41,365 --> 00:59:43,100
How'd you sleep?
1275
00:59:43,133 --> 00:59:44,935
Not great.
1276
00:59:46,203 --> 00:59:47,304
- Period?
- What?
1277
00:59:47,338 --> 00:59:48,005
No!
1278
00:59:48,038 --> 00:59:49,106
I just...
1279
00:59:49,139 --> 00:59:49,606
Oh.
1280
00:59:49,640 --> 00:59:51,308
No, thanks.
1281
00:59:51,342 --> 00:59:53,210
I already ate.
1282
00:59:54,011 --> 00:59:55,479
This kid is
king, I'm telling you.
1283
00:59:55,512 --> 00:59:55,913
Josh!
1284
00:59:55,946 --> 00:59:56,781
There you are.
1285
00:59:56,815 --> 00:59:58,415
I've been looking
all over for you.
1286
00:59:58,449 --> 01:00:00,617
I'd like you to meet
my good friend Simon.
1287
01:00:00,651 --> 01:00:01,485
Simon Mitchell.
1288
01:00:01,518 --> 01:00:04,288
From Harper Collins.
1289
01:00:04,321 --> 01:00:05,155
I...
1290
01:00:05,189 --> 01:00:06,323
Josh is a Harvard
man too, you know.
1291
01:00:06,357 --> 01:00:08,192
Ah, a few decades after me,
but the crimson runs deep,
1292
01:00:08,225 --> 01:00:08,959
am I right?
1293
01:00:08,992 --> 01:00:09,660
Roll tide!
1294
01:00:09,693 --> 01:00:10,594
That's Alabama.
1295
01:00:10,627 --> 01:00:12,062
Oh.
1296
01:00:12,329 --> 01:00:14,498
Simon knows half the
hiring panel personally.
1297
01:00:14,531 --> 01:00:17,134
I'm sure that he'd be willing
to write you one hell of a
1298
01:00:17,167 --> 01:00:18,102
recommendation.
1299
01:00:18,135 --> 01:00:19,002
I'd appreciate that.
1300
01:00:19,036 --> 01:00:20,471
Let's talk
about it over lunch.
1301
01:00:20,504 --> 01:00:21,171
I'll clear my schedule.
1302
01:00:21,205 --> 01:00:24,308
Oh, hey, this is Lucy Hinton.
1303
01:00:24,341 --> 01:00:25,576
No, it's Hutton.
1304
01:00:25,609 --> 01:00:26,977
You sure?
1305
01:00:27,010 --> 01:00:29,246
Uh, yeah.
1306
01:00:33,150 --> 01:00:38,188
Yeah, so I thought maybe you
could write me a recommendation.
1307
01:00:38,222 --> 01:00:41,425
Yes, it was 10 years ago.
1308
01:00:41,458 --> 01:00:43,527
H-U-T-T-O-N.
1309
01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:47,030
Oh, you know the
color-coded filing system?
1310
01:00:47,064 --> 01:00:49,366
I did that.
1311
01:00:49,733 --> 01:00:53,003
No, of course it's digital now.
1312
01:00:53,036 --> 01:00:54,338
Sure.
1313
01:00:54,671 --> 01:00:58,409
Sure, okay, well, if you
can remember anything at all,
1314
01:00:58,442 --> 01:00:59,476
I...
1315
01:00:59,510 --> 01:01:00,711
Okay, thank you.
1316
01:01:00,744 --> 01:01:02,379
Bye.
1317
01:01:02,946 --> 01:01:06,049
So I really need
to nail this presentation.
1318
01:01:06,083 --> 01:01:08,051
I'm thinking I can
probably pay you...
1319
01:01:08,085 --> 01:01:09,319
$300 for the graphics?
1320
01:01:09,353 --> 01:01:10,621
I know that that's not much.
1321
01:01:10,654 --> 01:01:11,856
Sure.
1322
01:01:11,890 --> 01:01:14,491
I'll consider it an investment
in the future of our working
1323
01:01:14,525 --> 01:01:16,660
- relationship.
- Great.
1324
01:01:17,294 --> 01:01:18,462
Hey, so...
1325
01:01:18,495 --> 01:01:21,565
just to be totally clear,
there's no chance for anything
1326
01:01:21,598 --> 01:01:24,401
else, right?
1327
01:01:24,435 --> 01:01:25,536
Yeah.
1328
01:01:25,569 --> 01:01:27,438
Say no more.
1329
01:01:27,806 --> 01:01:29,239
Your loss.
1330
01:01:29,273 --> 01:01:30,707
I'm a world-class cuddler.
1331
01:01:30,741 --> 01:01:33,410
I believe that.
1332
01:01:34,411 --> 01:01:36,079
So, uh...
1333
01:01:36,113 --> 01:01:40,117
you and Dude Man,
what's-his-bucket, Josh?
1334
01:01:40,150 --> 01:01:41,718
Still mortal enemies.
1335
01:01:41,752 --> 01:01:42,619
Hm.
1336
01:01:42,653 --> 01:01:43,487
I mean, don't take
this the wrong way,
1337
01:01:43,520 --> 01:01:45,589
I just figured
y'all would be, like,
1338
01:01:45,622 --> 01:01:47,291
knockin' boots at this point.
1339
01:01:47,324 --> 01:01:50,327
Nope, pistols
and swords at dawn.
1340
01:01:50,627 --> 01:01:53,597
Given the choice, I go
pistol 100 percent of the time.
1341
01:01:54,565 --> 01:01:57,334
Significantly more effective.
1342
01:02:32,669 --> 01:02:34,571
Yo ho ho.
1343
01:02:34,939 --> 01:02:36,106
Who let you in the building?
1344
01:02:36,139 --> 01:02:39,811
Oh, I scaled the wall using
my elite Navy SEAL training.
1345
01:02:39,844 --> 01:02:41,078
The neighbor let me in.
1346
01:02:41,111 --> 01:02:42,079
What are you doing here?
1347
01:02:42,112 --> 01:02:43,580
Picking you up.
1348
01:02:43,781 --> 01:02:44,816
For my brother's wedding?
1349
01:02:46,149 --> 01:02:47,484
Yeah, not likely, Templeman.
1350
01:02:47,518 --> 01:02:48,585
Look, I'm sorry
about the other night.
1351
01:02:48,619 --> 01:02:49,453
You caught me off-guard.
1352
01:02:49,486 --> 01:02:52,322
This thing is
just too complicated.
1353
01:02:52,356 --> 01:02:53,257
All right?
1354
01:02:53,290 --> 01:02:55,492
We... we are
competing for the same job.
1355
01:02:55,526 --> 01:02:57,594
And we've turned mutual
sabotage into an art,
1356
01:02:57,628 --> 01:02:59,563
so it is impossible
to trust each other.
1357
01:02:59,596 --> 01:03:02,767
Also, you're like the
man version of Icy Hot.
1358
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:03,467
Are you cold?
1359
01:03:03,500 --> 01:03:04,701
Are you warm?
1360
01:03:04,735 --> 01:03:06,737
Is this tingling sensation nice
or is it deeply uncomfortable?
1361
01:03:06,771 --> 01:03:07,772
Tingling sensation.
1362
01:03:07,805 --> 01:03:10,240
Okay, you know what I mean.
1363
01:03:11,009 --> 01:03:13,210
Look, I can't go
to this thing alone,
1364
01:03:13,243 --> 01:03:15,612
and they're expecting
you to come with me.
1365
01:03:15,646 --> 01:03:19,249
And don't forget:
you still owe me.
1366
01:03:20,684 --> 01:03:21,786
Mm.
1367
01:03:21,819 --> 01:03:23,554
I'll be in the car.
1368
01:03:26,223 --> 01:03:27,691
Okay, fine.
1369
01:03:35,432 --> 01:03:39,202
Okay, so what do I need
to know about your family?
1370
01:03:39,703 --> 01:03:40,838
My mom's great.
1371
01:03:40,872 --> 01:03:43,875
She'll love you and tell you
that she wants to keep you
1372
01:03:43,908 --> 01:03:45,509
forever.
1373
01:03:45,542 --> 01:03:48,545
My dad is, uh...
1374
01:03:49,680 --> 01:03:51,381
complicated.
1375
01:03:51,415 --> 01:03:54,151
Last time I was
home, we had a fight.
1376
01:03:54,184 --> 01:03:55,319
What about?
1377
01:03:55,352 --> 01:03:56,687
A lot of things.
1378
01:03:56,720 --> 01:03:59,690
My leaving med school
...he won't let that go.
1379
01:03:59,723 --> 01:04:02,259
And my girlfriend had just
broken up with me and he and my
1380
01:04:02,292 --> 01:04:05,662
brother were just
being assholes about it.
1381
01:04:05,930 --> 01:04:08,532
It's so hard to imagine
you with a girlfriend.
1382
01:04:08,565 --> 01:04:11,803
I always pictured
you as a swipe right,
1383
01:04:11,836 --> 01:04:15,606
"Let's not put a label
on it, babe" kinda guy.
1384
01:04:15,639 --> 01:04:18,642
Well, sometimes you're wrong.
1385
01:04:24,448 --> 01:04:25,549
It's gonna snow.
1386
01:04:25,582 --> 01:04:26,383
How do you know that?
1387
01:04:26,416 --> 01:04:27,250
Because it's a thing.
1388
01:04:27,284 --> 01:04:28,318
I can smell weather.
1389
01:04:28,352 --> 01:04:31,188
Well, that would make
you the lamest X-Man ever.
1390
01:04:32,723 --> 01:04:34,524
- Whoa, hi!
- How can I help you?
1391
01:04:34,558 --> 01:04:35,292
Joshua Templeman.
1392
01:04:35,325 --> 01:04:36,560
I've got two rooms.
1393
01:04:36,593 --> 01:04:38,228
Templeman.
1394
01:04:38,662 --> 01:04:40,664
- With a T?
- Yeah.
1395
01:04:41,866 --> 01:04:43,768
Two Ts?
1396
01:04:43,801 --> 01:04:45,770
Just the one.
1397
01:04:48,605 --> 01:04:49,774
And....sent.
1398
01:04:49,807 --> 01:04:51,608
- Sorry, just sent an email.
- Mm-hm.
1399
01:04:51,642 --> 01:04:54,511
- Oh.
- Okay, and...
1400
01:04:55,679 --> 01:04:56,848
- I am so sorry.
- Hm?
1401
01:04:56,881 --> 01:05:00,250
I, um... I only have one room.
1402
01:05:00,283 --> 01:05:01,251
Now, Jaf?
1403
01:05:01,284 --> 01:05:02,252
Jaffrey.
1404
01:05:02,285 --> 01:05:03,955
My friends call me "Jaf" and...
1405
01:05:03,988 --> 01:05:05,422
- we're not there yet.
- Okay.
1406
01:05:05,455 --> 01:05:06,891
Jaffrey, I really
need two rooms.
1407
01:05:06,924 --> 01:05:08,625
Can you please help me out?
1408
01:05:08,659 --> 01:05:10,661
Sorry.
1409
01:05:10,694 --> 01:05:13,630
I mean, I need my
mom to move out but...
1410
01:05:13,664 --> 01:05:15,499
But I got two weddings
this weekend, right?
1411
01:05:15,532 --> 01:05:16,566
I know, we're in one of them.
1412
01:05:17,267 --> 01:05:18,335
Oh... oh, you're the couple?
1413
01:05:18,368 --> 01:05:19,269
Oh, congratulations!
1414
01:05:19,302 --> 01:05:20,404
Oh, no, no, no, no.
1415
01:05:20,437 --> 01:05:22,439
No, no, no, no, it's, uh...
it's my brother's wedding,
1416
01:05:22,472 --> 01:05:23,707
we're just here for it.
1417
01:05:23,740 --> 01:05:26,309
Oh, well, I wish I
could help you out,
1418
01:05:26,343 --> 01:05:28,679
but think about where
I'm coming from on this.
1419
01:05:28,712 --> 01:05:29,546
I've got a lot of people here.
1420
01:05:29,579 --> 01:05:30,213
Okay, just
stop, stop, stop.
1421
01:05:30,247 --> 01:05:31,381
- It's fine.
- It's not fine.
1422
01:05:31,415 --> 01:05:33,483
It's not worth ruining his
day when he clearly can't do
1423
01:05:33,517 --> 01:05:34,152
anything about it.
1424
01:05:34,184 --> 01:05:34,786
Jaffrey, thank you so much.
1425
01:05:34,819 --> 01:05:36,353
We will take the one room.
1426
01:05:36,386 --> 01:05:37,521
Thank you so much.
1427
01:05:37,554 --> 01:05:40,524
She's absolutely right; it
is not worth ruining my day.
1428
01:05:40,557 --> 01:05:43,795
Great, um, so you
are gonna be in room,
1429
01:05:43,828 --> 01:05:46,697
uh, 216 and, um, no keys.
1430
01:05:46,730 --> 01:05:48,298
Everything's unlocked.
1431
01:05:48,331 --> 01:05:49,700
Oh, boy.
1432
01:05:56,506 --> 01:05:57,975
Wow.
1433
01:05:59,010 --> 01:06:01,545
- It's not bad.
- Mm.
1434
01:06:02,113 --> 01:06:04,347
You will sleep there.
1435
01:06:04,381 --> 01:06:05,348
Hah!
1436
01:06:05,382 --> 01:06:07,751
Shoulda made you stay
with Jaf and his mom.
1437
01:06:07,785 --> 01:06:10,955
Okay, we've got a half an
hour until the rehearsal dinner.
1438
01:06:10,988 --> 01:06:12,355
You want the first shower?
1439
01:06:12,389 --> 01:06:13,791
Sure.
1440
01:06:13,825 --> 01:06:15,525
Great.
1441
01:06:30,074 --> 01:06:32,309
Took you long enough.
1442
01:06:32,342 --> 01:06:34,544
Oh, I was shaving my legs.
1443
01:06:34,578 --> 01:06:35,980
Oh.
1444
01:06:41,085 --> 01:06:43,420
Flamethrower?
1445
01:06:44,387 --> 01:06:46,758
I like red.
1446
01:06:47,624 --> 01:06:48,760
So do I.
1447
01:06:57,534 --> 01:06:59,003
This does not mean we're okay.
1448
01:06:59,036 --> 01:07:00,772
Mm-hm.
1449
01:07:09,412 --> 01:07:10,782
Come here.
1450
01:07:12,582 --> 01:07:14,852
- No, I wanna feel your weight.
- No, I'll crush you.
1451
01:07:14,886 --> 01:07:17,822
Well, I have lived
a really good life.
1452
01:07:17,855 --> 01:07:19,589
You sure you're okay with this?
1453
01:07:19,623 --> 01:07:20,892
Oh, yeah.
1454
01:07:20,925 --> 01:07:22,026
Let's do it.
1455
01:07:22,059 --> 01:07:24,762
You
should write sonnets.
1456
01:07:45,415 --> 01:07:49,020
Oh, best... game... ever.
1457
01:07:50,587 --> 01:07:52,056
Yeah.
1458
01:07:53,423 --> 01:07:54,457
Oh, shit!
1459
01:07:54,491 --> 01:07:55,193
What?
1460
01:07:55,226 --> 01:07:56,761
We are seriously
late for dinner.
1461
01:07:56,794 --> 01:07:58,129
Just... just stay here!
1462
01:07:58,162 --> 01:07:59,429
What will your parents think?
1463
01:07:59,462 --> 01:08:01,065
Oh, hi, Mr. and Mrs. Templeman.
1464
01:08:01,098 --> 01:08:02,900
I'm so sorry that we missed
your son's rehearsal dinner.
1465
01:08:02,934 --> 01:08:05,036
We were too busy giving
each other multiple orgasms.
1466
01:08:06,703 --> 01:08:08,672
I promise you, nobody will care.
1467
01:08:08,705 --> 01:08:11,474
I'll just text them that we
hit traffic and we'll see them
1468
01:08:11,508 --> 01:08:12,609
tomorrow at the wedding.
1469
01:08:12,642 --> 01:08:14,078
Yeah, but what if they
know we already checked in?
1470
01:08:14,111 --> 01:08:16,479
Why do you care so much
what my parents think?
1471
01:08:16,513 --> 01:08:18,983
Well, it's people-pleasing
101: they are people,
1472
01:08:19,016 --> 01:08:20,517
thus I want to please them.
1473
01:08:20,550 --> 01:08:21,685
But why?
1474
01:08:21,718 --> 01:08:23,821
Well, I already explained
the totality of that logic.
1475
01:08:23,855 --> 01:08:26,891
Also, why don't you
care what people think?
1476
01:08:27,191 --> 01:08:29,693
I learned a long time ago that
it's impossible to make people
1477
01:08:29,726 --> 01:08:31,361
like you.
1478
01:08:31,829 --> 01:08:33,130
Yeah.
1479
01:08:33,463 --> 01:08:35,166
I guess you're right, it's not
like I'm ever gonna see them
1480
01:08:35,199 --> 01:08:36,834
again.
1481
01:08:38,936 --> 01:08:40,704
God, what are you thinking?
1482
01:08:40,737 --> 01:08:42,706
I just wanna juice
your head like a lemon.
1483
01:08:43,975 --> 01:08:46,077
There's no need for
violence, Little One.
1484
01:08:46,110 --> 01:08:48,378
What do you wanna know?
1485
01:08:49,646 --> 01:08:52,817
Okay, the other day...
1486
01:08:52,850 --> 01:08:56,753
when you caught me
snooping at your desk...
1487
01:08:57,054 --> 01:08:59,957
uh, I saw your planner.
1488
01:08:59,991 --> 01:09:01,859
Questionable ethics, Shortcake.
1489
01:09:01,893 --> 01:09:02,827
Yeah, okay, I know.
1490
01:09:02,860 --> 01:09:06,964
But there was some red
marks in the margin.
1491
01:09:06,998 --> 01:09:08,199
Ds, Ss, some Xs.
1492
01:09:08,232 --> 01:09:10,167
What are those?
1493
01:09:11,168 --> 01:09:11,969
What?
1494
01:09:12,904 --> 01:09:13,971
No!
1495
01:09:14,005 --> 01:09:15,840
- Tell me!
- No...
1496
01:09:15,873 --> 01:09:18,075
Tell me, tell me,
tell me, tell me, tell me.
1497
01:09:21,979 --> 01:09:24,015
D is for "dress."
1498
01:09:24,514 --> 01:09:28,518
P is for "pants," S is for
"skirt," and I make a mark when
1499
01:09:28,551 --> 01:09:33,456
we have a fight and X
when I wanna kiss you.
1500
01:09:34,158 --> 01:09:36,593
Wow.
1501
01:09:38,628 --> 01:09:41,966
You're like an OCD stalker.
1502
01:09:41,999 --> 01:09:43,000
Your turn.
1503
01:09:43,034 --> 01:09:44,567
My turn what?
1504
01:09:44,601 --> 01:09:46,971
You gotta tell me something
I don't know about you.
1505
01:09:47,004 --> 01:09:48,839
Okay.
1506
01:09:50,540 --> 01:09:52,575
Oh...
1507
01:09:52,609 --> 01:09:55,012
When I wore that little black
dress to work the other day...
1508
01:09:55,046 --> 01:09:56,914
Mm-hm.
1509
01:09:57,214 --> 01:09:58,748
Well...
1510
01:10:00,117 --> 01:10:02,019
I lied about
having a date at the AC.
1511
01:10:02,053 --> 01:10:04,922
I asked Danny out
later that day.
1512
01:10:05,156 --> 01:10:06,223
What?
1513
01:10:06,257 --> 01:10:08,926
You were all smug and
skeptical and I had just...
1514
01:10:08,960 --> 01:10:11,095
had this super hot
sex dream about you.
1515
01:10:11,128 --> 01:10:12,696
I knew it!
1516
01:10:14,198 --> 01:10:15,399
Yeah, and then you said you
were going to the bar and I
1517
01:10:15,433 --> 01:10:18,235
didn't want you to think I was a
loser just... sitting there all
1518
01:10:18,269 --> 01:10:20,004
alone.
1519
01:10:20,304 --> 01:10:22,739
You wouldn't have been alone.
1520
01:10:22,940 --> 01:10:25,009
You would've been with me.
1521
01:11:00,945 --> 01:11:04,681
Did he make his
side of the bed?
1522
01:11:04,714 --> 01:11:06,784
What a freak.
1523
01:11:12,957 --> 01:11:14,557
Very nice.
1524
01:11:16,193 --> 01:11:17,928
Your tie's crooked.
1525
01:11:17,962 --> 01:11:19,130
No, I'm not
falling for that again.
1526
01:11:19,163 --> 01:11:20,998
Come here.
1527
01:11:21,032 --> 01:11:22,133
- Really?
- Yeah.
1528
01:11:22,166 --> 01:11:23,234
Oh.
1529
01:11:23,267 --> 01:11:24,935
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
1530
01:11:24,969 --> 01:11:25,602
There you go.
1531
01:11:25,635 --> 01:11:26,971
No attempt at strangulation.
1532
01:11:27,004 --> 01:11:29,273
Wow, you are really
developing as a person.
1533
01:11:29,306 --> 01:11:32,076
Yeah, well, I need you alive
for all the things I'm gonna do
1534
01:11:32,109 --> 01:11:34,145
- to you later.
- Hm.
1535
01:11:34,178 --> 01:11:35,645
You look gorgeous in this dress.
1536
01:11:35,678 --> 01:11:36,679
Thank you.
1537
01:11:36,713 --> 01:11:38,581
It matches your eyes.
1538
01:11:38,816 --> 01:11:40,017
Excuse me.
1539
01:11:40,051 --> 01:11:41,718
Josh?
1540
01:11:41,986 --> 01:11:44,889
- Oh, hi, Mom.
- You made it!
1541
01:11:44,922 --> 01:11:46,824
- Oh...
- Honey...
1542
01:11:46,857 --> 01:11:48,159
Mom, this is Lucy.
1543
01:11:48,192 --> 01:11:49,093
Hi.
1544
01:11:49,126 --> 01:11:50,995
Oh, it is so nice to
meet you, Dr. Templeman.
1545
01:11:51,028 --> 01:11:52,629
Oh, Elaine, please.
1546
01:11:52,662 --> 01:11:54,899
I'm so glad to finally meet you.
1547
01:11:54,932 --> 01:11:55,466
You too.
1548
01:11:55,499 --> 01:11:56,699
She is just adorable!
1549
01:11:57,401 --> 01:11:58,803
I'm gonna keep you forever.
1550
01:11:59,937 --> 01:12:00,971
Shall we?
1551
01:12:01,005 --> 01:12:02,273
- You just snorted.
- Yeah, I did.
1552
01:12:12,749 --> 01:12:15,052
Wasn't sure you
were gonna make it.
1553
01:12:15,086 --> 01:12:18,322
Anthony, this is
Josh's friend, Lucy.
1554
01:12:18,355 --> 01:12:19,890
Hi.
1555
01:12:19,924 --> 01:12:21,392
Good afternoon.
1556
01:12:21,425 --> 01:12:23,861
Oh, friendly.
1557
01:12:25,930 --> 01:12:27,798
Aww...
1558
01:12:39,944 --> 01:12:42,379
Aww, cute.
1559
01:12:52,056 --> 01:12:54,758
Wow, she is stunning.
1560
01:12:54,792 --> 01:12:57,194
- Mm.
- Nice work, Patrick.
1561
01:13:09,807 --> 01:13:11,142
Oh, my God.
1562
01:13:11,175 --> 01:13:13,277
Patrick's family is
driving me crazy.
1563
01:13:13,310 --> 01:13:15,980
And these heels are like a
Medieval torture device.
1564
01:13:16,013 --> 01:13:17,381
You wouldn't happen to
have a joint, would you?
1565
01:13:17,414 --> 01:13:18,282
Oh, I wish.
1566
01:13:18,315 --> 01:13:18,949
Meth?
1567
01:13:18,983 --> 01:13:19,483
Rat poison?
1568
01:13:19,517 --> 01:13:20,417
I'll take anything.
1569
01:13:20,451 --> 01:13:22,419
Sadly, I am
fresh out of rat poison.
1570
01:13:22,453 --> 01:13:24,155
But congratulations.
1571
01:13:24,188 --> 01:13:25,422
Thank you.
1572
01:13:25,456 --> 01:13:27,224
You're Lucy, right?
1573
01:13:27,258 --> 01:13:27,892
Yes.
1574
01:13:27,925 --> 01:13:29,726
I've been dying to meet you.
1575
01:13:29,760 --> 01:13:31,362
Patrick says you're the
reason Josh came today.
1576
01:13:31,395 --> 01:13:34,298
Oh, no, I'm sure
that's not true.
1577
01:13:34,331 --> 01:13:37,268
Oh, I'm sure it is.
1578
01:13:37,301 --> 01:13:39,837
It really did work out for
the best in the end, didn't it?
1579
01:13:39,870 --> 01:13:42,406
I mean, Josh and I
were never good together.
1580
01:13:44,275 --> 01:13:46,911
I'm sorry, you
were... you were with Josh?
1581
01:13:46,944 --> 01:13:49,980
Oh, my God, how
did he not tell you?
1582
01:13:50,014 --> 01:13:52,149
It really wasn't
anything serious.
1583
01:13:52,183 --> 01:13:53,417
The entire year
we were together,
1584
01:13:53,450 --> 01:13:55,786
I don't think we
ever really connected.
1585
01:13:55,819 --> 01:13:57,321
You were together a year?
1586
01:13:57,354 --> 01:13:59,156
Like, a calendar year?
1587
01:13:59,190 --> 01:14:01,392
Like, a full 12 months?
1588
01:14:01,425 --> 01:14:03,227
And then, you and Patrick...
1589
01:14:03,260 --> 01:14:06,764
Were a much better fit in,
like, every way.
1590
01:14:06,797 --> 01:14:10,733
I mean, it was a little
bit awkward at first, but...
1591
01:14:11,268 --> 01:14:14,271
Um, I'm sorry.
1592
01:14:14,305 --> 01:14:17,041
I should really go say
inappropriate things to my other
1593
01:14:17,074 --> 01:14:17,975
guests now.
1594
01:14:18,008 --> 01:14:21,245
No, no, it's... it's,
um... it's fine.
1595
01:14:40,464 --> 01:14:42,266
Well, that nose of
yours was right on.
1596
01:14:42,299 --> 01:14:44,168
I told you it was a thing.
1597
01:14:46,904 --> 01:14:48,005
Lucy, I hope...
1598
01:14:48,038 --> 01:14:49,173
Is she the reason
you brought me here?
1599
01:14:49,206 --> 01:14:50,740
No.
1600
01:14:51,842 --> 01:14:53,544
No, Lucy, it had
nothing to do with her.
1601
01:14:53,577 --> 01:14:54,912
But why didn't you tell me?
1602
01:14:54,945 --> 01:14:56,213
I don't know.
1603
01:14:57,014 --> 01:14:59,416
- I was embarrassed.
- Why?
1604
01:14:59,817 --> 01:15:01,452
Hey, you did nothing wrong.
1605
01:15:01,485 --> 01:15:04,321
They are the ones that
should be embarrassed.
1606
01:15:08,259 --> 01:15:11,362
You know, the
weekend that I got my MBA,
1607
01:15:11,395 --> 01:15:15,165
my dad took Patrick
fishing with two other surgeons.
1608
01:15:15,432 --> 01:15:17,568
He said that I wasn't
invited because I would've felt
1609
01:15:17,601 --> 01:15:19,837
out-of-place.
1610
01:15:19,870 --> 01:15:21,472
Patrick has always
been the golden child,
1611
01:15:21,505 --> 01:15:23,841
and so when Mindy
left me for him,
1612
01:15:23,874 --> 01:15:25,409
it just...
1613
01:15:27,444 --> 01:15:30,314
So today must really
suck for you, huh?
1614
01:15:30,347 --> 01:15:32,283
Well, it could be worse.
1615
01:15:33,417 --> 01:15:35,786
I could be here alone.
1616
01:15:37,288 --> 01:15:38,322
Well...
1617
01:15:38,355 --> 01:15:41,225
this situation most
definitely calls for some booze,
1618
01:15:41,258 --> 01:15:43,560
so let's go.
1619
01:15:44,395 --> 01:15:45,095
- I know, just...
- No.
1620
01:15:45,129 --> 01:15:45,963
- Yes!
- No!
1621
01:15:45,996 --> 01:15:46,797
- Yes.
- Darling...
1622
01:15:46,830 --> 01:15:47,464
Just in
case you need it.
1623
01:15:47,498 --> 01:15:51,068
You are the absolute worst.
1624
01:15:51,101 --> 01:15:51,635
Ah!
1625
01:15:51,669 --> 01:15:53,037
Where have you two been?
1626
01:15:53,070 --> 01:15:54,405
Outside getting some fresh air.
1627
01:15:54,438 --> 01:15:55,572
Oh.
1628
01:15:55,606 --> 01:15:58,876
Lucy, when you
first met Josh...
1629
01:15:58,909 --> 01:15:59,610
what'd you think?
1630
01:15:59,643 --> 01:16:01,245
Ah.
1631
01:16:01,278 --> 01:16:04,982
Well, I thought he
was very good-looking,
1632
01:16:05,015 --> 01:16:07,551
cold, domineering,
and freakishly uptight.
1633
01:16:07,584 --> 01:16:08,719
Oh.
1634
01:16:08,752 --> 01:16:10,421
I thought that you had to
have ambition to be domineering.
1635
01:16:10,454 --> 01:16:11,588
Anthony...
1636
01:16:11,622 --> 01:16:13,257
I'm kidding.
1637
01:16:13,724 --> 01:16:18,429
And I thought
Lucy was very smart,
1638
01:16:18,462 --> 01:16:21,398
but she was also a
spineless kiss-ass.
1639
01:16:21,432 --> 01:16:23,400
Yeah, it was
hate at first sight.
1640
01:16:23,434 --> 01:16:24,301
Mm.
1641
01:16:25,469 --> 01:16:27,304
- Oh.
- Dad?
1642
01:16:27,338 --> 01:16:29,106
That's your cue.
1643
01:16:29,139 --> 01:16:30,474
- That's my cue.
- Yeah.
1644
01:16:30,507 --> 01:16:32,309
Uh...
1645
01:16:32,343 --> 01:16:36,380
Elaine wrote down
a few ideas but...
1646
01:16:37,381 --> 01:16:39,016
I think I'll wing it.
1647
01:16:39,049 --> 01:16:40,417
Ugh...
1648
01:16:41,085 --> 01:16:44,355
I always expected a
great deal from my son,
1649
01:16:44,388 --> 01:16:46,924
and he's never disappointed me.
1650
01:16:46,957 --> 01:16:50,928
Excelled in med school and he's
become a very fine physician.
1651
01:16:50,961 --> 01:16:53,997
It's been a privilege to watch
him grow into the man he is
1652
01:16:54,031 --> 01:16:55,499
today, hm?
1653
01:16:55,532 --> 01:16:58,369
A son a father can be proud of.
1654
01:16:58,969 --> 01:17:01,505
But of all the
good decisions that Patrick has
1655
01:17:01,538 --> 01:17:05,409
made, marrying Mindy
is definitely his best.
1656
01:17:05,442 --> 01:17:07,444
Welcome to the family.
1657
01:17:07,478 --> 01:17:10,013
- Hear, hear!
- Cheers!
1658
01:17:10,047 --> 01:17:11,648
Cheers.
1659
01:17:23,460 --> 01:17:25,396
It's for Christmas.
1660
01:17:26,430 --> 01:17:27,631
The tree?
1661
01:17:27,664 --> 01:17:29,133
Oh, you don't say.
1662
01:17:29,166 --> 01:17:31,235
I brought it in from outside.
1663
01:17:31,502 --> 01:17:33,537
It looks like it
grew in here but...
1664
01:17:33,570 --> 01:17:35,906
that tree grew outside.
1665
01:17:37,107 --> 01:17:38,008
Elaine!
1666
01:17:38,041 --> 01:17:39,376
- Hi.
- Hi!
1667
01:17:39,410 --> 01:17:40,644
Have you seen Josh?
1668
01:17:40,677 --> 01:17:43,213
I think he went to
go find an Aspirin.
1669
01:17:43,247 --> 01:17:44,481
He said he had a
bit of a headache.
1670
01:17:44,515 --> 01:17:45,716
Ah.
1671
01:17:45,749 --> 01:17:48,452
Anthony probably should have
gone with my prepared remarks.
1672
01:17:48,485 --> 01:17:50,020
Mm.
1673
01:17:50,053 --> 01:17:51,455
I'm glad you're here.
1674
01:17:51,488 --> 01:17:53,323
Josh has been talking
about you for months.
1675
01:17:53,357 --> 01:17:54,291
Oh, God.
1676
01:17:54,324 --> 01:17:56,160
I cannot even imagine
what he's told you.
1677
01:17:56,193 --> 01:17:58,529
I swear I am not that bad.
1678
01:17:58,562 --> 01:18:03,367
He told me that you
drive him crazy...
1679
01:18:03,400 --> 01:18:06,503
and that you
challenge him and that...
1680
01:18:06,537 --> 01:18:09,139
you're as
strong-willed as he is.
1681
01:18:09,373 --> 01:18:12,109
You know, I thought when Mindy
left him and he took that job at
1682
01:18:12,142 --> 01:18:16,380
B&G that he had hit
rock bottom but...
1683
01:18:16,413 --> 01:18:18,649
now, I think it might be the
best thing that ever happened to
1684
01:18:18,682 --> 01:18:20,517
him.
1685
01:18:21,820 --> 01:18:24,756
And for what it's worth, I've
never seen him look at anyone
1686
01:18:24,789 --> 01:18:27,391
the way he looks at you.
1687
01:18:28,459 --> 01:18:29,226
- Ah!
- Hi!
1688
01:18:29,259 --> 01:18:32,062
There's my
beautiful groom, aww.
1689
01:18:32,095 --> 01:18:33,130
Have you already lost your wife?
1690
01:18:33,163 --> 01:18:34,431
No, not yet.
1691
01:18:34,465 --> 01:18:36,768
She's hiding in the
kitchen, eating in peace.
1692
01:18:36,801 --> 01:18:37,968
Mm.
1693
01:18:38,001 --> 01:18:40,537
Mom, you may need to head
back into the reception room.
1694
01:18:40,571 --> 01:18:43,307
I think Dad's maybe
had one too many.
1695
01:18:43,340 --> 01:18:44,241
Oh.
1696
01:18:44,274 --> 01:18:46,510
Once more, unto the breach.
1697
01:18:46,543 --> 01:18:48,445
If you ask me,
it's a Goddamn waste.
1698
01:18:48,479 --> 01:18:51,248
MBA from Harvard and you spend
your days running errands and
1699
01:18:51,281 --> 01:18:54,485
licking stamps so you can
flirt with some little intern.
1700
01:18:54,518 --> 01:18:55,419
Intern?
1701
01:18:55,452 --> 01:18:57,421
Maybe you should take a walk.
1702
01:18:57,454 --> 01:18:58,355
"I don't want to be a doctor."
1703
01:18:58,388 --> 01:19:00,557
At least do
something marginally noble.
1704
01:19:00,591 --> 01:19:02,593
- Anthony...
- Join the Peace Corps.
1705
01:19:02,626 --> 01:19:04,595
Go build wells in Nigeria.
1706
01:19:04,628 --> 01:19:07,064
You don't think that
publishing is noble?
1707
01:19:07,097 --> 01:19:08,232
Contributing to culture?
1708
01:19:08,265 --> 01:19:10,501
I... I don't think that he's
making books, Sweetheart.
1709
01:19:10,534 --> 01:19:13,504
I think he's making coffee for
somebody who's making books.
1710
01:19:13,537 --> 01:19:15,272
And by the way, it's
none of your business.
1711
01:19:15,305 --> 01:19:17,541
Don't speak to her that way.
1712
01:19:17,574 --> 01:19:20,143
Okay, well since you
know nothing about your son,
1713
01:19:20,177 --> 01:19:21,745
I'll just... I'll... I'll
fill you in real quick.
1714
01:19:21,779 --> 01:19:24,782
Josh is the person that our
sales and finance divisions
1715
01:19:24,816 --> 01:19:25,482
report to.
1716
01:19:25,516 --> 01:19:27,651
They are scared shitless of him.
1717
01:19:27,684 --> 01:19:30,487
I have seen grown men run around
like ants triple-checking their
1718
01:19:30,521 --> 01:19:33,123
numbers because Josh
always finds their mistakes.
1719
01:19:33,156 --> 01:19:34,191
Lucy, you don't have to.
1720
01:19:34,224 --> 01:19:35,425
It's fine.
1721
01:19:35,459 --> 01:19:37,194
I'm sorry, I know I'm making a
really big scene and I'm sorry.
1722
01:19:37,227 --> 01:19:38,729
I... I like all of you.
1723
01:19:38,763 --> 01:19:40,330
Um, except you.
1724
01:19:40,364 --> 01:19:42,499
But I... I can't listen to this.
1725
01:19:42,533 --> 01:19:43,768
Oh, and for the
record, Josh's boss,
1726
01:19:43,801 --> 01:19:47,371
who is CEO in title only, is a
sleazy toad who can barely tie
1727
01:19:47,404 --> 01:19:48,372
his own shoelaces.
1728
01:19:48,405 --> 01:19:50,340
Josh runs that place.
1729
01:19:50,641 --> 01:19:51,809
Actually, we both do.
1730
01:19:51,843 --> 01:19:54,545
And the only reason that B&G
didn't completely implode after
1731
01:19:54,578 --> 01:19:57,347
the merger is because Josh
oversaw a reduction of the
1732
01:19:57,381 --> 01:19:59,650
workforce by 35
percent, and because of him,
1733
01:19:59,683 --> 01:20:01,351
200 people kept their jobs.
1734
01:20:01,385 --> 01:20:02,486
And so he's not a doctor.
1735
01:20:02,519 --> 01:20:03,855
Who the fuck cares?
1736
01:20:03,888 --> 01:20:05,522
He's smart.
1737
01:20:05,556 --> 01:20:07,691
Your son is tough and he has
made me a lot better at my job
1738
01:20:07,724 --> 01:20:09,459
by having to compete with him.
1739
01:20:09,493 --> 01:20:11,461
Don't get me wrong, he
drives me absolutely insane,
1740
01:20:11,495 --> 01:20:12,864
which is apparently hereditary.
1741
01:20:12,897 --> 01:20:15,165
But your son is amazing.
1742
01:20:15,198 --> 01:20:16,133
And the fact that
you can't see that,
1743
01:20:16,166 --> 01:20:18,402
that is a goddamn shame.
1744
01:20:21,538 --> 01:20:24,575
In conclusion, uh,
congratulations to the bride and
1745
01:20:24,608 --> 01:20:25,676
groom!
1746
01:20:25,709 --> 01:20:27,845
Just amazing.
1747
01:20:27,879 --> 01:20:30,514
Um, let's go home.
1748
01:20:30,547 --> 01:20:32,784
Anthony, sir, it's
been a real treat.
1749
01:20:32,817 --> 01:20:35,652
Elaine, it was
lovely meeting you.
1750
01:20:36,687 --> 01:20:38,522
I'll call you.
1751
01:20:54,404 --> 01:20:55,639
So, what now?
1752
01:20:55,672 --> 01:20:57,674
Naked time?-
1753
01:20:57,708 --> 01:20:59,276
After naked time?
1754
01:20:59,309 --> 01:21:01,311
Rehydration.
1755
01:21:05,482 --> 01:21:07,551
Lucy, I've had a
lot of women...
1756
01:21:07,584 --> 01:21:10,654
I seriously hope there's
an end to that sentence.
1757
01:21:13,057 --> 01:21:15,860
I've had a lot of women tell me
that I'm... I'm not the kind of
1758
01:21:15,893 --> 01:21:18,161
guy you settle down with.
1759
01:21:18,595 --> 01:21:21,164
I'm the one-night-stand.
1760
01:21:21,933 --> 01:21:24,368
And you think
that's what I'm doing?
1761
01:21:24,401 --> 01:21:26,403
I hope not.
1762
01:21:29,573 --> 01:21:31,608
I don't understand you.
1763
01:21:31,642 --> 01:21:34,444
I seriously
thought you hated me.
1764
01:21:34,745 --> 01:21:36,246
Never.
1765
01:21:36,513 --> 01:21:39,282
Never, not for one second.
1766
01:21:39,917 --> 01:21:42,319
And I can prove it to you.
1767
01:21:43,754 --> 01:21:45,589
All right, you
have to come in here.
1768
01:21:45,622 --> 01:21:46,891
Okay.
1769
01:21:46,924 --> 01:21:49,593
And I'm gonna need to take this.
1770
01:21:49,626 --> 01:21:51,662
I thought you
weren't feeling naked time.
1771
01:21:52,830 --> 01:21:53,664
You're kinda giving me
mixed signals here, Templeman.
1772
01:21:53,697 --> 01:21:55,632
We're not
going to the bed.
1773
01:21:55,666 --> 01:21:59,269
You have to stand... right here.
1774
01:21:59,302 --> 01:22:01,505
- Okay.
- Now...
1775
01:22:02,807 --> 01:22:04,809
tell me what you see.
1776
01:22:04,842 --> 01:22:07,611
Um, well...
1777
01:22:07,644 --> 01:22:10,815
my hair's a little scraggly
and my lipstick's faded.
1778
01:22:10,848 --> 01:22:12,784
You're perfect.
1779
01:22:12,817 --> 01:22:14,618
Guess again.
1780
01:22:14,986 --> 01:22:16,954
Oh!
1781
01:22:17,688 --> 01:22:18,890
My dress!
1782
01:22:18,923 --> 01:22:20,691
Look.
1783
01:22:21,458 --> 01:22:22,927
Like a tree frog.
1784
01:22:24,728 --> 01:22:26,463
What exactly does that prove?
1785
01:22:26,496 --> 01:22:29,666
Your dress isn't the only
thing that matches your eyes.
1786
01:22:32,770 --> 01:22:34,705
Oh, my God.
1787
01:22:34,738 --> 01:22:35,639
Wait, did you...
1788
01:22:35,672 --> 01:22:36,841
How about this?
1789
01:22:36,874 --> 01:22:38,976
Let's play a different game.
1790
01:22:39,010 --> 01:22:40,945
The "Starting Over" game.
1791
01:22:41,712 --> 01:22:42,847
Hi.
1792
01:22:42,880 --> 01:22:45,016
I'm Joshua
Templeman, nice to meet you.
1793
01:22:45,049 --> 01:22:46,951
Hi.
1794
01:22:46,984 --> 01:22:48,652
Um...
1795
01:22:48,685 --> 01:22:50,520
I'm Lucy Hutton.
1796
01:22:50,554 --> 01:22:54,491
I'm from Charlotte, Vermont,
where they grow strawberries.
1797
01:22:54,524 --> 01:22:57,394
And because of that, I'm
gonna call you "Shortcake."
1798
01:22:57,427 --> 01:23:00,430
It'll be a dead
giveaway that I love you.
1799
01:23:02,733 --> 01:23:03,801
You're freaking out.
1800
01:23:03,835 --> 01:23:04,869
No.
1801
01:23:04,902 --> 01:23:07,839
- Don't freak out.
- No, I just...
1802
01:23:08,505 --> 01:23:10,407
I just...
1803
01:23:10,440 --> 01:23:12,476
I... I am not... I am
not prepared for this.
1804
01:23:12,509 --> 01:23:13,610
What do you mean?
1805
01:23:13,643 --> 01:23:15,545
After New Year's, one of
us is gonna be out of a job.
1806
01:23:15,579 --> 01:23:18,582
Any relationship we tried, it
would be over before it started.
1807
01:23:18,615 --> 01:23:19,683
Well, maybe not.
1808
01:23:19,716 --> 01:23:21,018
Maybe nobody has to quit.
1809
01:23:21,052 --> 01:23:22,586
No, this would never work.
1810
01:23:22,619 --> 01:23:23,687
You know that, okay?
1811
01:23:23,720 --> 01:23:24,889
We would kill each other.
1812
01:23:26,690 --> 01:23:28,725
Luce, I know you.
1813
01:23:29,026 --> 01:23:31,863
I know that you blot your
lips twice before you throw your
1814
01:23:31,896 --> 01:23:33,798
tissue away.
1815
01:23:34,364 --> 01:23:38,035
I know that your voice drops
an octave when you get upset.
1816
01:23:38,236 --> 01:23:40,537
I know you chew your lower lip
when you're doing something you
1817
01:23:40,570 --> 01:23:42,606
don't wanna do.
1818
01:23:42,874 --> 01:23:45,910
And I know that
you're scared right now.
1819
01:23:46,343 --> 01:23:48,780
But you don't have to be.
1820
01:23:50,580 --> 01:23:52,582
I'm in this.
1821
01:23:52,616 --> 01:23:54,718
And you can trust that.
1822
01:25:18,102 --> 01:25:21,605
It's a dangerous
time for men these days, Josh.
1823
01:25:21,638 --> 01:25:24,876
If we don't stick together,
manic pixie twits like Lucy
1824
01:25:24,909 --> 01:25:27,945
Hutton, they're gonna be running
this country on lipstick and
1825
01:25:27,979 --> 01:25:29,213
feelings.
1826
01:25:29,247 --> 01:25:31,715
I can tell you I didn't start
this company to have my balls
1827
01:25:31,748 --> 01:25:34,185
crushed by some
nitwit in a push-up bra.
1828
01:25:34,218 --> 01:25:35,452
Do you hear me?
1829
01:25:35,485 --> 01:25:36,287
Loud and clear.
1830
01:25:36,320 --> 01:25:38,022
I have a vision
for this company,
1831
01:25:38,055 --> 01:25:40,892
and I'm counting on
you to make it happen.
1832
01:25:40,925 --> 01:25:42,793
So, do you have a strategy?
1833
01:25:42,827 --> 01:25:43,995
- Do you have a plan?
- I do.
1834
01:25:44,028 --> 01:25:46,063
It's already underway.
1835
01:25:46,297 --> 01:25:48,665
I told her she'd back off if
you let her think that she could
1836
01:25:48,698 --> 01:25:50,567
pet the pony.
1837
01:25:50,600 --> 01:25:52,203
I'm glad you took my advice.
1838
01:25:52,236 --> 01:25:54,839
Is there anything else I can do
to help you cinch this thing?
1839
01:25:54,872 --> 01:25:55,940
No.
1840
01:25:55,973 --> 01:25:58,042
No, no, no, I... I don't
need any help beating her.
1841
01:25:58,075 --> 01:25:59,509
All right,
I'm sure you don't.
1842
01:25:59,542 --> 01:26:01,012
Get on it, then.
1843
01:26:03,580 --> 01:26:05,548
Hey, are you free?
1844
01:26:06,117 --> 01:26:08,786
I'm heading to the
coffeeshop right now.
1845
01:26:17,161 --> 01:26:19,063
So he's
sexually gaslighting you?
1846
01:26:19,096 --> 01:26:21,232
That is diabolical.
1847
01:26:21,265 --> 01:26:23,067
I guess it makes sense; you're
not gonna work as hard if you're
1848
01:26:23,100 --> 01:26:25,002
crushing on him.
1849
01:26:25,036 --> 01:26:27,872
I wonder what it's like to be
a dude who uses his raw animal
1850
01:26:27,905 --> 01:26:30,041
magnetism as a weapon.
1851
01:26:30,074 --> 01:26:32,043
Yeah, but it's
one thing to flirt.
1852
01:26:32,076 --> 01:26:34,511
It's a whole other thing to
pretend like you have actual
1853
01:26:34,544 --> 01:26:35,379
feelings.
1854
01:26:35,413 --> 01:26:37,949
I just... I feel
like such an idiot.
1855
01:26:38,883 --> 01:26:41,052
Are you sure it's okay that
we're talking about all this?
1856
01:26:41,085 --> 01:26:42,153
Yeah.
1857
01:26:42,186 --> 01:26:44,922
I mean, I'm basically the
mayor of the Friendzone,
1858
01:26:44,956 --> 01:26:48,960
so I'm hip, safe
space, carry on.
1859
01:26:50,027 --> 01:26:53,898
I just cannot believe I let
myself get played like this.
1860
01:26:54,999 --> 01:26:57,802
I mean, he seemed so sincere.
1861
01:26:58,336 --> 01:27:00,905
Well, fear not,
my sweet friend.
1862
01:27:00,938 --> 01:27:02,639
You are going to
nail that interview,
1863
01:27:02,672 --> 01:27:06,110
get the job, and then order will
be restored to the universe.
1864
01:27:06,143 --> 01:27:07,278
Yes.
1865
01:27:07,311 --> 01:27:09,914
Well, justice demands that
Josh live a long life alone,
1866
01:27:09,947 --> 01:27:11,748
sucking on Bexley's nasty nuts.
1867
01:27:11,782 --> 01:27:13,516
So...
1868
01:27:14,919 --> 01:27:17,121
- Oh, hey, Josh.
- What are you doing here?
1869
01:27:17,154 --> 01:27:18,956
I was looking for you.
1870
01:27:18,990 --> 01:27:21,524
Thought I'd join
you for a coffee.
1871
01:27:21,792 --> 01:27:24,962
I don't like you enough
to get a coffee with you.
1872
01:27:26,864 --> 01:27:28,833
My mistake.
1873
01:27:31,601 --> 01:27:33,971
Solid burn.
1874
01:27:39,043 --> 01:27:41,745
Do we have confirmation that
the London Review is featuring
1875
01:27:41,779 --> 01:27:42,679
'Stripping Time?'
1876
01:27:42,712 --> 01:27:43,914
CC'd you on the email.
1877
01:27:43,948 --> 01:27:46,951
No, I'm looking at my inbox and
it's not here, you sociopath.
1878
01:27:46,984 --> 01:27:50,687
Well, then you're either
blind or just lying, as usual.
1879
01:27:50,720 --> 01:27:51,756
I don't lie.
1880
01:27:51,789 --> 01:27:52,990
You lie all the time.
1881
01:27:53,024 --> 01:27:55,292
You just don't see it as lying
because you tell people what
1882
01:27:55,326 --> 01:27:56,659
they wanna hear.
1883
01:27:56,693 --> 01:27:57,361
What?
1884
01:27:57,395 --> 01:27:58,863
Name one time I've done that.
1885
01:27:58,896 --> 01:28:01,999
You told me you
weren't interested in Danny.
1886
01:28:02,233 --> 01:28:03,834
Wow.
1887
01:28:04,335 --> 01:28:06,003
Wow.
1888
01:28:06,037 --> 01:28:07,204
That is amazing.
1889
01:28:07,238 --> 01:28:09,706
You are actually gonna play
this thing all the way through,
1890
01:28:09,739 --> 01:28:11,008
aren't you?
1891
01:28:11,042 --> 01:28:12,009
And see, that's
what I don't get.
1892
01:28:12,043 --> 01:28:13,643
Throw me off my game, fine.
1893
01:28:13,676 --> 01:28:14,912
Flirt with me, mess
with my head, whatever.
1894
01:28:14,945 --> 01:28:17,680
But why would you want to keep
me from dating someone else?
1895
01:28:17,714 --> 01:28:19,116
Danny is nice!
1896
01:28:19,150 --> 01:28:20,051
And I'm not.
1897
01:28:20,084 --> 01:28:22,119
I thought you were...
1898
01:28:22,153 --> 01:28:24,321
somewhere under the
layers of psychological damage.
1899
01:28:24,355 --> 01:28:27,825
But it turns out you would just
do whatever it takes to win and
1900
01:28:27,858 --> 01:28:28,993
make your daddy proud.
1901
01:28:29,026 --> 01:28:30,261
And you know what?
1902
01:28:30,294 --> 01:28:33,330
I am so glad that I threw up all
over you 'cause I am this close
1903
01:28:33,364 --> 01:28:34,165
to doing it again!
1904
01:28:34,198 --> 01:28:35,665
What is wrong with you?!
1905
01:28:35,698 --> 01:28:37,101
I
heard you with Bexley!
1906
01:28:37,134 --> 01:28:38,335
And?
1907
01:28:38,369 --> 01:28:40,271
And I bet if he knew you'd had
a hand all the way up my skirt,
1908
01:28:40,304 --> 01:28:42,039
he'd throw a
parade in your honor!
1909
01:28:42,073 --> 01:28:44,641
- That's not...
- Hey, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh!
1910
01:28:44,674 --> 01:28:46,743
I'm gonna need those projections
on my desk by Friday.
1911
01:28:46,777 --> 01:28:47,744
I don't have the time.
1912
01:28:47,778 --> 01:28:48,846
Lucy can do it.
1913
01:28:48,879 --> 01:28:49,914
Hutton!
1914
01:28:49,947 --> 01:28:52,083
Care to grow some hair
on your nuts and step up?
1915
01:28:52,116 --> 01:28:53,818
You know,
Richard, I would love to,
1916
01:28:53,851 --> 01:28:56,153
but I doubt a nitwit in a
push-up bra would be much help
1917
01:28:56,187 --> 01:28:57,788
to you.
1918
01:28:59,090 --> 01:29:03,094
Josh, projections,
on my desk Friday.
1919
01:29:03,861 --> 01:29:06,330
There is no way in hell I am
letting you and Bexley destroy
1920
01:29:06,363 --> 01:29:07,932
this place.
1921
01:30:12,296 --> 01:30:13,764
Lucy?
1922
01:30:13,797 --> 01:30:14,999
Hi.
1923
01:30:15,032 --> 01:30:16,967
You have a call at two with TLS,
unless you want me to take it.
1924
01:30:17,001 --> 01:30:18,269
I know the catalogue.
1925
01:30:18,302 --> 01:30:19,403
It's all yours.
1926
01:30:19,436 --> 01:30:21,205
Wait, do you
know where Josh is?
1927
01:30:21,238 --> 01:30:23,240
I haven't seen
him since yesterday.
1928
01:30:23,274 --> 01:30:24,942
That's weird, right?
1929
01:30:24,975 --> 01:30:26,110
The week of the presentation?
1930
01:30:26,143 --> 01:30:28,412
He's... he's up to something.
1931
01:30:28,445 --> 01:30:31,048
I wouldn't put it past him.
1932
01:30:31,515 --> 01:30:32,449
You ready for this?
1933
01:30:32,483 --> 01:30:34,018
Hell yes.
1934
01:30:34,051 --> 01:30:35,752
I will bring my A game.
1935
01:30:35,786 --> 01:30:38,022
That's what I like to hear.
1936
01:31:00,244 --> 01:31:01,879
Go get 'em, Tiger!
1937
01:31:06,050 --> 01:31:07,251
Lucy!
1938
01:31:07,284 --> 01:31:09,220
This is my boyfriend's niece,
Daisy... the one I told you
1939
01:31:09,253 --> 01:31:11,322
about for the internship.
1940
01:31:12,056 --> 01:31:13,290
This is Daisy?
1941
01:31:13,324 --> 01:31:15,292
Like the flower.
1942
01:31:23,234 --> 01:31:25,035
No.
1943
01:31:26,303 --> 01:31:27,371
Absolutely not.
1944
01:31:27,404 --> 01:31:28,205
No, but you said that...
1945
01:31:28,239 --> 01:31:30,441
I got steamrolled
and you know it.
1946
01:31:30,474 --> 01:31:32,977
I'm sorry, you seem
like a lovely girl,
1947
01:31:33,010 --> 01:31:34,845
but you actually couldn't
have picked a worse time.
1948
01:31:34,878 --> 01:31:37,248
And you still haven't
turned in your monthly report.
1949
01:31:37,281 --> 01:31:38,282
Oh, yes, I wanted to
talk to you about that...
1950
01:31:38,315 --> 01:31:39,216
No, don't
worry about it.
1951
01:31:39,250 --> 01:31:40,084
I already talked to
Alan, I got the numbers,
1952
01:31:40,117 --> 01:31:42,353
and I did the
report myself... again.
1953
01:31:42,386 --> 01:31:44,021
You're such an angel.
1954
01:31:44,054 --> 01:31:45,456
No, I'm not an angel.
1955
01:31:45,489 --> 01:31:47,891
I'm a patsy and I am done.
1956
01:31:47,925 --> 01:31:49,360
It's a migraine or
a sprained wrist.
1957
01:31:49,393 --> 01:31:51,895
I mean, three months ago, you
couldn't turn in the report
1958
01:31:51,929 --> 01:31:54,298
because a bird flew in your face
coming off the subway and you
1959
01:31:54,331 --> 01:31:56,100
were too
distraught to concentrate.
1960
01:31:56,133 --> 01:31:57,201
It was a big bird...
1961
01:31:57,234 --> 01:31:59,203
And while I sympathize
with your various plights...
1962
01:31:59,236 --> 01:32:01,005
You don't sound sympathetic.
1963
01:32:01,038 --> 01:32:02,239
She doesn't sound sympathetic.
1964
01:32:02,273 --> 01:32:04,942
I'm gonna have to
ask you to do your job.
1965
01:32:07,278 --> 01:32:09,580
I'm disappointed in you.
1966
01:32:09,613 --> 01:32:11,315
Well...
1967
01:32:14,084 --> 01:32:15,886
Impressive.
1968
01:32:15,919 --> 01:32:17,121
Thank you.
1969
01:32:17,154 --> 01:32:19,323
Not that I... need
your validation.
1970
01:32:19,356 --> 01:32:21,058
Thank you for coming.
1971
01:32:21,091 --> 01:32:22,059
Lucy Hutton?
1972
01:32:22,092 --> 01:32:23,294
You're up next.
1973
01:32:23,327 --> 01:32:25,062
Okay.
1974
01:32:28,565 --> 01:32:30,467
One thing...
1975
01:32:30,934 --> 01:32:34,271
If you get this job, are you
actually gonna let Bexley gut
1976
01:32:34,305 --> 01:32:36,407
the literary department?
1977
01:32:36,907 --> 01:32:38,575
It's his business.
1978
01:32:38,609 --> 01:32:40,277
He can do what he wants with it.
1979
01:32:41,645 --> 01:32:43,047
Okay.
1980
01:32:43,080 --> 01:32:45,249
That's all I needed to know.
1981
01:32:46,417 --> 01:32:50,054
This is the first chapter of
a new book from best-selling
1982
01:32:50,087 --> 01:32:52,523
author Emily Powery.
1983
01:32:52,556 --> 01:32:57,294
I propose creating a cross-media
platform so that people can
1984
01:32:57,328 --> 01:33:00,964
download e-books or audiobooks
and then have conversations with
1985
01:33:00,998 --> 01:33:03,300
other readers and the writer.
1986
01:33:03,334 --> 01:33:04,435
How would that work?
1987
01:33:04,468 --> 01:33:06,403
Well, once you
finished a chapter,
1988
01:33:06,437 --> 01:33:09,273
you are then directed to a
community group to discuss the
1989
01:33:09,306 --> 01:33:10,174
story.
1990
01:33:10,207 --> 01:33:12,643
And the writer is
part of that community.
1991
01:33:12,676 --> 01:33:14,611
They publish a
chapter at a time,
1992
01:33:14,645 --> 01:33:16,447
like the old 19th
century serials,
1993
01:33:16,480 --> 01:33:19,283
and then join the conversation
with the readers before they
1994
01:33:19,316 --> 01:33:21,285
write the next chapter.
1995
01:33:21,318 --> 01:33:22,553
Interesting.
1996
01:33:22,586 --> 01:33:24,988
If you turn to section two of
the document in front of you,
1997
01:33:25,022 --> 01:33:28,158
you will see the
budget that I'm proposing.
1998
01:33:30,694 --> 01:33:34,498
They seriously grilled
me on the numbers but...
1999
01:33:34,531 --> 01:33:36,100
I think I held my own.
2000
01:33:36,133 --> 01:33:37,401
I'm sure you blew them away.
2001
01:33:37,434 --> 01:33:39,370
And I have to say,
whether or not I get this job,
2002
01:33:39,403 --> 01:33:41,472
this whole thing, it...
2003
01:33:41,505 --> 01:33:44,074
it did kinda wake me up.
2004
01:33:45,309 --> 01:33:47,144
Well, here's a
little something.
2005
01:33:47,177 --> 01:33:48,445
Oh, my God.
2006
01:33:48,479 --> 01:33:49,480
A Peacock edition?
2007
01:33:49,513 --> 01:33:51,081
Helen!
2008
01:33:51,448 --> 01:33:54,184
Oh, it's beautiful.
2009
01:33:54,218 --> 01:33:58,322
Mr. Darcy was such a
great romantic hero:
2010
01:33:58,355 --> 01:34:00,457
inscrutable, misunderstood.
2011
01:34:00,491 --> 01:34:01,525
I don't know.
2012
01:34:01,558 --> 01:34:04,194
I think she might be
setting up a false expectation.
2013
01:34:04,228 --> 01:34:05,996
Sometimes...
2014
01:34:06,029 --> 01:34:07,197
guy's just an asshole.
2015
01:34:07,231 --> 01:34:09,500
That has
certainly been my experience.
2016
01:34:11,001 --> 01:34:13,904
And it's gonna look
nice in your library.
2017
01:34:19,510 --> 01:34:21,512
It's a great promotion for you.
2018
01:34:21,545 --> 01:34:23,247
Thank you.
2019
01:34:23,447 --> 01:34:24,281
Lucy!
2020
01:34:24,314 --> 01:34:26,417
We were just about
to come find you.
2021
01:34:29,253 --> 01:34:31,121
Congratulations.
2022
01:34:31,555 --> 01:34:33,357
You earned it.
2023
01:34:34,425 --> 01:34:35,993
Well...
2024
01:34:36,026 --> 01:34:39,163
we've all had a big
decision to make today.
2025
01:34:39,196 --> 01:34:41,665
I think it goes without saying
that this merger has been a
2026
01:34:41,698 --> 01:34:47,004
little bumpy, but I think that
B&G is positioned now to become
2027
01:34:47,037 --> 01:34:50,007
a major literary powerhouse.
2028
01:34:50,040 --> 01:34:54,211
I know first-hand that no one is
more savvy or tenacious than its
2029
01:34:54,244 --> 01:34:56,680
new managing director...
2030
01:34:58,715 --> 01:35:00,417
Lucy Hutton.
2031
01:35:00,451 --> 01:35:02,653
- Congratulations, Lucy.
- What?
2032
01:35:05,122 --> 01:35:07,291
Way to go, Luce.
2033
01:35:07,724 --> 01:35:09,059
What?
2034
01:35:09,092 --> 01:35:10,294
Wait, but she just said that...
2035
01:35:10,327 --> 01:35:12,529
I took a job as acquisitions
editor at Harper Collins last
2036
01:35:12,563 --> 01:35:13,230
week.
2037
01:35:13,263 --> 01:35:14,331
Son of a bitch.
2038
01:35:14,364 --> 01:35:16,567
So when you said you
didn't need help beating me...
2039
01:35:16,600 --> 01:35:19,369
It's because I had
decided to resign.
2040
01:35:19,403 --> 01:35:20,537
Why didn't you tell me?
2041
01:35:20,571 --> 01:35:22,706
That would be my fault.
2042
01:35:22,739 --> 01:35:24,441
I begged him not
to say anything.
2043
01:35:24,475 --> 01:35:25,777
I am sorry, Lucy.
2044
01:35:25,810 --> 01:35:29,379
Just fighting with Josh
lit such a fire under you,
2045
01:35:29,413 --> 01:35:32,583
I knew if you kept that drive,
you'd beat everyone else and get
2046
01:35:32,616 --> 01:35:33,684
the job.
2047
01:35:33,717 --> 01:35:35,085
She would've
kicked your ass too, Josh!
2048
01:35:36,186 --> 01:35:37,621
Fair enough.
2049
01:35:37,822 --> 01:35:42,125
Luce, you are the heart and
soul of this place and everybody
2050
01:35:42,159 --> 01:35:43,227
knows it.
2051
01:35:43,260 --> 01:35:46,129
Just what the company
needs: more heart and soul.
2052
01:35:46,163 --> 01:35:47,598
Richard...
2053
01:35:47,631 --> 01:35:48,565
shut up.
2054
01:35:48,599 --> 01:35:50,802
In fact, always just
keep your mouth shut,
2055
01:35:50,835 --> 01:35:52,269
as a general rule.
2056
01:35:53,303 --> 01:35:55,405
Hey...
2057
01:35:55,439 --> 01:35:56,573
You're fired!
2058
01:35:56,607 --> 01:35:58,408
Already quit, jackass.
2059
01:35:58,642 --> 01:36:01,044
Oh, shit...
2060
01:36:06,183 --> 01:36:08,585
You know what I just realized?
2061
01:36:08,619 --> 01:36:10,320
What's that?
2062
01:36:10,354 --> 01:36:12,757
You are the nice guy.
2063
01:36:12,790 --> 01:36:14,658
You take that back.
2064
01:36:14,691 --> 01:36:16,560
Nope.
2065
01:36:31,642 --> 01:36:32,476
Where are you off to?
2066
01:36:32,509 --> 01:36:34,378
Weekend at the Cape.
2067
01:36:34,411 --> 01:36:36,146
See you on Monday!
2068
01:36:36,179 --> 01:36:37,648
Or Thursday.
2069
01:36:37,681 --> 01:36:39,349
No, no, no, we have a
contract with O'Brien,
2070
01:36:39,383 --> 01:36:40,651
so if he wants to
switch publishers,
2071
01:36:40,684 --> 01:36:41,285
you're gonna have
to buy him out.
2072
01:36:41,318 --> 01:36:42,452
Will you hold on a second?
2073
01:36:42,486 --> 01:36:44,789
This has a year's worth of
sexual harassment claims against
2074
01:36:44,822 --> 01:36:45,656
Richard Bexley.
2075
01:36:45,689 --> 01:36:46,290
Give it to the board?
2076
01:36:46,323 --> 01:36:47,524
Thanks.
2077
01:36:48,392 --> 01:36:51,094
That is due Wednesday.
2078
01:36:51,395 --> 01:36:55,299
So, it turns out love
and hate aren't as similar as I
2079
01:36:55,332 --> 01:36:55,732
thought.
2080
01:36:55,767 --> 01:36:56,733
Son of a bitch!
2081
01:36:56,768 --> 01:36:58,669
Yeah, well, our legal
team would beg differ.
2082
01:36:58,702 --> 01:37:00,504
Sure, they both get
your blood pumping and make you
2083
01:37:00,537 --> 01:37:03,373
want to do crazy things
to someone else's body.
2084
01:37:03,407 --> 01:37:04,708
Shove it up your semicolon!
2085
01:37:04,741 --> 01:37:05,843
No, no, no, no.
2086
01:37:05,877 --> 01:37:07,544
Think 30 percent higher.
2087
01:37:07,578 --> 01:37:09,179
But when
you love someone,
2088
01:37:09,212 --> 01:37:13,183
and I mean really love
someone, even when you fight,
2089
01:37:13,216 --> 01:37:14,718
you're still on the same team.
2090
01:37:14,751 --> 01:37:17,187
Look, if you wanna
poach one of our writers,
2091
01:37:17,220 --> 01:37:19,189
you're gonna take a
bath while doing it.
2092
01:37:19,222 --> 01:37:20,691
Interesting.
2093
01:37:20,724 --> 01:37:23,694
You know, I think I'm gonna
need a few more details on that
2094
01:37:23,727 --> 01:37:24,896
particular proposal.
2095
01:37:24,929 --> 01:37:27,899
You should know that I never
mix business with pleasure.
2096
01:37:27,932 --> 01:37:29,433
Never?
2097
01:37:29,466 --> 01:37:30,667
- Hi.
- Hi.
2098
01:37:30,701 --> 01:37:31,602
How was your day?
2099
01:37:31,635 --> 01:37:33,704
Well, there's this
new exec over at B&G.
2100
01:37:33,737 --> 01:37:35,372
She's being a real hard-ass.
2101
01:37:35,405 --> 01:37:36,673
Ugh, bitch.
2102
01:37:36,707 --> 01:37:37,875
Yours?
2103
01:37:37,909 --> 01:37:40,344
Oh, there's this snake at
Harper Collins who's trying to
2104
01:37:40,377 --> 01:37:41,545
steal one of our best writers.
2105
01:37:41,578 --> 01:37:43,280
Aww, Shortcake.
2106
01:37:43,313 --> 01:37:44,648
You want me to
beat him up for you?
2107
01:37:44,681 --> 01:37:45,515
No.
2108
01:37:45,549 --> 01:37:48,385
I don't want you
fighting anyone but me.
2109
01:38:08,990 --> 01:38:10,670
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
2109
01:38:11,305 --> 01:39:11,860
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