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1
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,212
- * ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR
2
00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:13,114
* ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX *
3
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:15,249
* TAKE IT, DUDE
4
00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:18,252
[Greek Buck's Spunk]
5
00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:26,227
*
6
00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:29,730
* ONE, TWO, THREE
7
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:32,133
*
8
00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:34,135
* ONE, TWO, THREE
9
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:38,439
*
10
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:42,676
- OKAY.
11
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:45,113
SO I'M A GAY MAN
WITH A SUPERHERO FETISH.
12
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,247
YES, WE'RE OUT THERE.
13
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,317
AND, NO, IT DOESN'T HAVE
ANYTHING TO DO WITH IMMATURITY.
14
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:51,419
I THINK WE GAY BOYS LEARN
IMPORTANT LESSONS
15
00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:53,221
FROM COMIC BOOKS.
16
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,189
ONE--THERE ARE A LOT
OF VILLAINS OUT THERE,
17
00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:57,258
SO YOU BETTER DEVELOP
SOME SECRET POWERS.
18
00:00:57,291 --> 00:01:00,561
TWO--IF YOU HAVE A GOOD BODY,
YOU CAN WEAR TIGHT CLOTHES.
19
00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:04,698
AND THREE--IT'S ALWAYS GOOD
TO BE PART OF A DYNAMIC DUO.
20
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,170
I TOTALLY BLEW IT.
- DON'T WORRY.
21
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,838
THERE'S STILL PLENTY
OF CREEPY OLD MEN OUT THERE
22
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,240
WHO'D LOVE TO GET
IN YOUR PANTS.
23
00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:13,574
- HE WASN'T THAT OLD.
24
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:15,409
HE WASN'T CREEPY.
HE WAS NICE.
25
00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:16,577
MY FIRST DOCTOR.
26
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:17,611
- CHIROPRACTOR.
27
00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:18,846
- THAT COUNTS...
28
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:19,747
I THINK.
29
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:22,183
- UH, WE GOT IN
THE NEW CATWOMAN.
30
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:23,817
- COOL.
31
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,823
HE TAKES ME
TO THIS REALLY NICE RESTAURANT.
32
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:31,825
I BEHAVE
LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT--
33
00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:34,395
DRESSED UP LIKE
SOME SLICK ASSHOLE.
34
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,597
- HEY, THAT WAS
MY $1,200 LEATHER JACKET.
35
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:39,500
- IT WASN'T ME.
36
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:40,801
YOU KNOW WHY?
'CAUSE I'M NOBODY.
37
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:42,903
THAT'S MY PROBLEM.
38
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,472
ARE YOU EVEN
LISTENING TO ME?
39
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:48,509
- I TUNE OUT SELF-PITY.
IT MAKES MY DICK SOFT.
40
00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:51,745
AND WE WOULDN'T WANT THAT...
41
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,914
WOULD WE?
42
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,449
- JUST FORGET I SAID ANYTHING.
43
00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:56,484
- [clears throat]
44
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:58,486
- OH, WOW.
LOOK.
45
00:01:58,519 --> 00:01:59,820
IT'S THE NEW
ELECTRA WOMAN DOLL.
46
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,489
I'M GOING TO BUY THIS
FOR GUS.
47
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:02,523
- DON'T.
48
00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:04,392
I DON'T WANT A GAY KID.
49
00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:06,260
- HE'S BEING RAISED
BY TWO LESBIANS.
50
00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:08,229
HE'S GOING TO NEED
A FEMININE INFLUENCE.
51
00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:13,201
BESIDES, IT'LL BE
A COLLECTOR'S ITEM.
52
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:14,368
- WELL, I'LL TAKE IT.
53
00:02:14,402 --> 00:02:15,903
I'M GOING OVER THERE.
54
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:17,238
- I'LL GO TOO.
55
00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:19,407
- NO.
56
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:22,843
YOU'RE GOING BACK
TO THE DOCTOR.
57
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:25,713
TELL HIM YOU WANT TO GIVE IT
ANOTHER TRY.
58
00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:43,864
- DOES YOUR MOM KNOW
YOU'RE OUT BUYING JEWELRY?
59
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:45,666
- SHE'S TOTALLY COOL
WITH EVERYTHING,
60
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,668
OR AT LEAST SHE'S PRETENDING
TO BE BECAUSE SHE'S SCARED
61
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,603
I'LL RUN AWAY
AND BECOME A HAIRDRESSER.
62
00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:50,604
- I HATE YOU.
63
00:02:50,638 --> 00:02:51,805
MY MOM'S SUCH A BITCH,
64
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,407
AND I HAVEN'T EVEN GIVEN HER
A REASON YET.
65
00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:54,775
- HOW ABOUT THESE?
66
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:57,311
- THEY'RE TOTALLY QUEER.
- SHUT UP.
67
00:02:57,345 --> 00:03:02,383
THEY'RE A SYMBOL
OF OUR FRIENDSHIP.
68
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:05,553
- OKAY. THANKS.
69
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:08,389
- ACTUALLY,
I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.
70
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:10,758
I HAD TO BUY
A NEW FAKE I.D.
71
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:16,497
LOOK!
THAT'S THEM--
72
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,367
BRIAN'S LESBIANS.
73
00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:24,405
HEY!
74
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:25,706
HEY.
75
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:26,774
HOW'S IT GOING?
76
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,309
- I'M SORRY.
DO WE KNOW YOU?
77
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,511
- I'M JUSTIN...
78
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,679
BRIAN'S FRIEND.
79
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,514
I WAS THERE THE NIGHT
GUS WAS BORN.
80
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:34,515
I NAMED HIM.
81
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,450
- YEAH.
- OH, RIGHT.
82
00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:38,386
SO, WHEN GUS ENDS UP
PUMPING GAS,
83
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:39,453
WE'LL HAVE YOU TO THANK.
84
00:03:39,487 --> 00:03:40,954
- [laughs]
85
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:42,990
- THIS IS DAPHNE.
- HI.
86
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,693
I'M NOT A LESBIAN,
BUT I-I'M A BIG FAN.
87
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,595
- [chuckles]
88
00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:48,862
- HE'S GOTTEN SO BIG ALREADY.
89
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:49,730
- OH, WELL, YOU WOULD TOO
90
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,565
IF ALL YOU DID WAS SLEEP
AND EAT ALL DAY.
91
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:52,966
- HE DOES.
92
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,602
- HE'S, LIKE, THE CUTEST BABY
I'VE EVER SEEN.
93
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,036
IF YOU EVER NEED
A BABYSITTER--
94
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,838
- DON'T SAY THAT
UNLESS YOU MEAN IT.
95
00:03:57,871 --> 00:04:00,341
- AND IF YOU NEED ANY HELP
CARRYING STUFF TO THE CAR,
96
00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:02,443
I'D BE GLAD TO BE
OF ASSISTANCE.
97
00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:06,914
- WOW, YOU'RE GOOD
FOR 1,001 USES.
98
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,349
- I'LL SEE YOU LATER?
99
00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:09,950
- I DON'T KNOW.
100
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:11,385
- I'M OUT.
101
00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:12,620
- AT WORK?
102
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:14,021
THAT'S FABULOUS.
103
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:17,758
- OUT OF THE SCENE, I MEAN.
104
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,327
I MADE UP MY MIND--
105
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,962
NO MORE BARS, NO MORE BATHS,
NO MORE CLUBS.
106
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,964
YOU'LL NEVER SEE MY FACE
AT BABYLON AGAIN.
107
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:25,499
- OH, PLEASE.
108
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:27,067
YOU CAN'T LET
ONE LITTLE DRUG-INDUCED COMA
109
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,402
GET YOU DOWN.
110
00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:29,637
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
111
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:31,839
- YOU LOOK
UNBELIEVABLY TRASHY.
112
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,441
- TALKED ME INTO IT.
113
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:34,608
I'LL BUY IT.
114
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,644
- YOU MISSED
MY POINT ENTIRELY.
115
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,779
EVERYTHING WE DO,
EVEN THE CLOTHES WE WEAR,
116
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:40,814
IS A CONSCIOUS,
OR WORSE YET,
117
00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:42,550
UNCONSCIOUS ATTEMPT
TO GET LAID.
118
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:43,551
- YES, IT'S TRUE.
119
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:45,519
THERE IS
AN OVEREMPHASIS ON SEX.
120
00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:47,988
BUT WHY NOT BUY TWO SIZES
TOO SMALL AND GO WITH IT?
121
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,923
- BECAUSE, TRAGICALLY,
122
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,925
SOME OF US WERE NOT BORN
TO WEAR LYCRA.
123
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,994
- HERE,
CHECK OUT THE PERSONALS.
124
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:57,365
PERHAPS YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE
TO NOT GO OUT WITH.
125
00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:59,567
- YOU KNOW, ONE THING I NEVER
UNDERSTOOD ABOUT THESE ADS--
126
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,536
WHY IS IT ALWAYS "TIT WORK"
AND "ASS PLAY"?
127
00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:04,037
IF YOU ASK ME,
IT'S A LOT HARDER TO--
128
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,807
HEY, LOOK AT THIS,
AT THE CENTER.
129
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,342
"DATE BAIT--
130
00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:09,710
"MEET OTHER SINGLE GAY MEN
131
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,745
"IN A CIVILIZED EVENING
OF CONVERSATION.
132
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:14,682
NO PICKUPS,
NO FACE-TO-FACE REJECTION."
133
00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:16,684
THEY HAVE AN OVER-30 NIGHT.
134
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,085
- WHERE,
AT THE MORGUE?
135
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:20,020
- JUST FOR THAT,
YOU'RE GOING WITH ME.
136
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:22,756
- I AM NOT OVER 30.
137
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:26,694
- AND I AM NOT GOING ALONE.
138
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:29,897
[telephone rings]
139
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:35,703
- I DIDN'T REALIZE WE HAD
SCHEDULED A FOLLOW-UP VISIT.
140
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:37,705
- WE DIDN'T. I TOLD THEM
IT WAS AN EMERGENCY.
141
00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:40,508
- WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
- I'M A JERK.
142
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,410
CAN YOU ADJUST THAT?
143
00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:45,946
- PROVIDED IT'S NOT
A PERMANENT CONDITION.
144
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:49,049
- SEE, THE THING IS,
I DON'T DATE VERY OFTEN.
145
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,619
YOU KNOW,
REAL "EAT A MEAL, TALK,
146
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:54,788
"STARE INTO EACH OTHER'S EYES"
KIND OF DATES.
147
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:58,492
SO I-I KIND OF FREAKED.
148
00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:02,062
AND I'M SORRY
I WAS SUCH AN ASSHOLE.
149
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,865
- YOU WEREN'T AN ASSHOLE.
150
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:08,101
- BELIEVE ME,
I'VE SEEN ASSHOLES AND--
151
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:11,038
I MEAN, UH...
152
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:13,474
I FEEL SHITTY ABOUT IT.
153
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:14,842
AND...
154
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,610
I REALLY LIKE YOU.
155
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:19,547
AND I THINK YOU MIGHT
ACTUALLY HAVE LIKED ME.
156
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:20,914
- I DO LIKE YOU.
157
00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:22,416
- YOU DO?
158
00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:24,151
WELL...
159
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:27,387
DO YOU THINK
WE COULD START OVER?
160
00:06:28,656 --> 00:06:31,525
- SIT DOWN.
161
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:48,742
YOU'RE ADORABLE,
YOU KNOW THAT?
162
00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:51,712
[knocking on door]
163
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:56,149
- I GOT SOMETHING FOR GUS.
164
00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:59,086
- [chuckles]
165
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,455
THAT'S SO SWEET.
166
00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:04,992
WE'LL CALL MICHAEL LATER
TO THANK HIM.
167
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,660
[Gus fussing]
168
00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:07,895
- HOW LONG
HAVE YOU BEEN DRAWING?
169
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,997
- MY MOM BROUGHT ME CRAYONS
WHEN I WAS STILL IN THE CRIB.
170
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,865
- HMM.
- I NEVER STOPPED.
171
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,133
- WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?
172
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:16,169
- WE RAN INTO EACH OTHER
ON THE STREET.
173
00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:18,706
- IT WAS, LIKE,
THIS WEIRD COINCIDENCE.
174
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:21,141
- I BET.
175
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:25,012
- YOU KNOW, THESE ARE GOOD.
176
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,514
- THAT'S WHAT MY MOM SAYS.
177
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,148
- LINDSAY'S AN ART TEACHER.
178
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,116
- FOR SOMEONE YOUR AGE,
179
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,585
YOU HAVE AN AMAZING FEEL
FOR THE HUMAN FORM.
180
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:34,087
- I'VE NOTICED THAT MYSELF.
181
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,823
- LOOK AT THIS.
182
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:37,591
- OH, DON'T SHOW HIM.
183
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,259
- OH.
184
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,562
MMM.
185
00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:44,097
- WHEN DID YOU DRAW THAT?
186
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:45,699
- WHEN YOU WERE ASLEEP.
187
00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,701
- AH, CIRCUMCISED...
188
00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:49,537
JUST LIKE I THOUGHT.
189
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,872
- YOU KNOW, THERE'S GOING TO BE
AN ART SHOW AT THE GLC.
190
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:52,906
- WHAT'S THAT?
191
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:55,843
- THE GAY AND LESBIAN CENTER--
192
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:58,979
SAFE HAVEN FOR FAGS
WHO CAN'T GET LAID.
193
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:00,914
- YOU KNOW, IT MIGHT BE GOOD
TO GET OUT
194
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:03,717
AND MEET SOME NICE YOUNG MEN
FOR A CHANGE.
195
00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:04,818
- IT'S THE ANNUAL FUND-RAISER.
196
00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:06,587
MELANIE AND I
ARE ON THE BOARD.
197
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,622
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE
YOUR WORK IN THE SHOW?
198
00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:10,658
- YOU MEAN
PEOPLE SEEING MY STUFF?
199
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:13,761
- YEAH.
- THAT'D BE INTENSE.
200
00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:15,228
BUT, YEAH.
201
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:16,363
- GOOD.
202
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:20,534
GIVE HIM SOME ACTIVITIES,
SO HE'LL STOP STALKING ME.
203
00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:22,870
- DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF.
204
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,638
[Gus babbles]
- [laughs]
205
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:26,740
WE LIKE JUSTIN.
206
00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:28,275
JUSTIN CAN STAY.
207
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,310
- WE'LL MAKE SURE
EVERYONE COMES,
208
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,179
INCLUDING YOU.
209
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:33,614
- [mouths word]
210
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:34,848
- WRITE DOWN THE NUMBERS
211
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,283
OF THE MEN
YOU'RE INTERESTED IN.
212
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:38,686
AND IF THE COMPUTER
MATCHES YOU UP,
213
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,287
YOU HAVE TO GO OUT
ON A DATE.
214
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,789
THOSE ARE THE RULES.
215
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:44,758
- HI.
UH, MY NAME IS BRUCE.
216
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,326
I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.
217
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,161
I ONLY CAME OUT
ABOUT A YEAR AGO.
218
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:50,998
- I LIKE, UH,
BEN & JERRY'S CHUBBY HUBBY...
219
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:54,101
- I TEACH PIANO AND VOICE
AT CARNEGIE MELLON.
220
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,169
- AND WATCHING FRASIER.
221
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,005
- MY FRIEND MADE ME COME.
222
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:01,909
- I'M LOOKING FOR A NICE GUY
WHO LIKES CHIHUAHUAS.
223
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:03,143
I HAVE THREE.
224
00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:06,780
- MY BOYFRIEND WOULD KILL ME
IF HE KNEW.
225
00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:09,650
- AND I HAVE
A SPEEDO FETISH...
226
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,652
ESPECIALLY RED AND TEAL.
227
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:15,789
- I RECENTLY WENT HOME
WITH THIS VERY CUTE BOY
228
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:17,357
THAT I MET AT BABYLON.
229
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,092
UH, HE HAD SOME DRUGS.
230
00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:21,595
- I ALSO CONDUCT
THE LOCAL GAY MEN'S CHORUS.
231
00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:24,197
I HOPE YOU'LL ALL COME
TO OUR UPCOMING CONCERT.
232
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:27,801
- I WANTED TO SEEM YOUNG
AND SEXY, SO I TOOK SOME,
233
00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:30,103
AND I ENDED UP IN A COMA.
234
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:31,304
[clears throat]
AND, UH...
235
00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:36,009
- AND I WOULD LOVE SOMEONE
TO COME HOME TO AFTER REHEARSAL.
236
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:39,346
- NOW I'M LOOKING
FOR A RELATIONSHIP
237
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,381
BASED ON SOMETHING REAL.
238
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,116
AND I THOUGHT MAYBE
THERE MIGHT BE SOMEONE HERE
239
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,718
WHO'S LOOKING
FOR THE SAME THING.
240
00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:47,287
AND, UH, THAT'S ALL.
241
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,827
- FAGGOTS, FAGGOTS EVERYWHERE
AND NOT A DROP TO DRINK.
242
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:55,763
I CAN HONESTLY SAY I HAVE
NO DESIRE TO HAVE SEX
243
00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:58,098
WITH ANY OF THESE PEOPLE.
244
00:09:58,131 --> 00:10:00,367
- ME NEITHER.
245
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,135
[exhales deeply]
246
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:05,172
IT'S A START.
247
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,413
- I'VE NEVER SEEN
SO MANY COMIC BOOKS.
248
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,248
- THAT'S WHAT EVERYBODY
I BRING HOME S--
249
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,985
I MEAN,
PEOPLE HAVE TOLD ME THAT.
250
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:20,387
- MM-HMM.
- [clears throat]
251
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:23,123
- WHO'S THE BIG FELLA?
252
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,893
- CAPTAIN ASTRO.
253
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:28,328
UM, MY FRIEND EMMETT--
HE'S STAYING WITH ME.
254
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,797
IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
A TEMPORARY THING,
255
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,264
BUT HE'S BECOME
SORT OF A SQUATTER.
256
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:34,735
HE MAY COME HOME AT ANY TIME.
SO, SORRY ABOUT THAT.
257
00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:38,839
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE
FOR EVERYTHING.
258
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:39,840
- I KNOW.
259
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:42,275
I DO THAT.
I'M SORRY.
260
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,411
UM...
261
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:45,913
DO YOU WANT ANYTHING--
262
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:49,282
UM, JUICE, BEER?
263
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,218
I DON'T HAVE ANY WINE.
264
00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:15,943
- SLOW.
265
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:05,826
- HI, GUYS.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'D LIKE?
266
00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:06,994
- UM...
267
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:10,831
I'LL HAVE
THE BACON CHEESEBURGER,
268
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:11,832
MEDIUM FRIES,
269
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:14,902
AND, UH, A PEPSI.
270
00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:16,970
- OKAY.
271
00:12:17,004 --> 00:12:20,440
- UH, I'LL HAVE THE, UH--
THE GRILLED TUNA
272
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:24,044
AND UM--I, UH--
273
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:27,147
JUST--I'LL HA--I'LL HAVE WATER.
- OH, COME ON, LIVE A LITTLE.
274
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,982
I CAN TELL YOU'VE BEEN
DENYING YOURSELF
275
00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:31,284
FOR WAY TOO LONG.
276
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:34,988
- ALL RIGHT, GIVE ME
WHAT HE'S HAVING.
277
00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:36,990
- OKAY, COMING RIGHT UP.
278
00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:40,994
[indistinct background chatter]
279
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:45,498
- HE HAS A NICE SMILE.
280
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,300
- AMONG OTHER ATTRIBUTES.
281
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,102
- I'M SURE
HE'S A FINE PERSON.
282
00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:52,505
- RHODES SCHOLAR
WOULD BE MY GUESS.
283
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:54,541
- YOU KNOW, ORDINARILY,
I'D BE WRACKING MY BRAIN
284
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:56,043
TO COME UP
WITH SOME PATHETIC LINE
285
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:57,344
FOR WHEN HE COMES BACK,
LIKE, UH,
286
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,046
"I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU HERE BEFORE.
ARE YOU NEW?"
287
00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:01,281
- OR, UH, "DO I KNOW YOU
FROM SOMEWHERE?
288
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,150
NO?
MUST BE IN A DREAM."
289
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:06,086
- "SO WHEN DID THEY START HIRING
MODELS HERE?"
290
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,155
[both laugh]
- YOU'RE WORSE THAN I AM.
291
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:09,990
YOU WANT ME TO GO
TO THE MEN'S ROOM,
292
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:11,524
SO YOU CAN TAKE
A CRACK AT HIM OR...?
293
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:13,460
- OH, GOD, NO!
[groans]
294
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:15,295
IT NEVER WORKED ANYWAY--
295
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:16,596
ALL THAT USELESS FLIRTING.
296
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:20,167
- IT IS SUCH A RELIEF
TO BE OUT OF THAT WORLD.
297
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,435
- I HAVE
A CONFESSION TO MAKE.
298
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:25,072
I DIDN'T GO TO DATE BAIT
JUST TO DRUM UP AN AUDIENCE
299
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:27,207
FOR OUR 500TH SONDHEIM CONCERT.
300
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,141
- I HAD A FEELING.
301
00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:30,878
- I WAS HOPING
THAT I WOULD FIND SOMEONE
302
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:31,879
I COULD CONNECT TO.
303
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,313
- SOMEONE APPROPRIATE.
304
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:34,481
- EXACTLY.
305
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:37,284
SOMEONE APPROPRIATE.
306
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,452
- WELL...
307
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:44,057
I SAY LET'S GET TO KNOW
EACH OTHER AND...
308
00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:46,059
SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
309
00:13:46,093 --> 00:13:47,060
- TAKE IT SLOW.
310
00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:50,063
I ALWAYS PREFERRED
ANDANTE TO PRESTO ANYWAY.
311
00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:51,131
[chuckles]
312
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,966
- OKAY, BOYS...
313
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,036
THESE'LL HELP COOL YOU DOWN.
314
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,875
- 27 MINUTES ON MY NIPPLES--
315
00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:03,076
I CLOCKED IT.
316
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:06,313
I MEAN, I EXPECTED HIM TO KNOW
WHAT TO DO WITH HIS HANDS,
317
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,547
'CAUSE THAT'S HIS BUSINESS,
318
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:11,251
BUT HE HAS
THE MOST TALENTED TONGUE.
319
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:12,485
EVERY TIME I CAME--
320
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,354
all:
"EVERY TIME"?
321
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:18,225
- HE WOULD JUST
KEEP ON GOING...
322
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:21,028
LICKING ME EVERYWHERE.
323
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,896
- I ONCE KNEW A GUY
WHO COULD TIE A CHERRY STEM
324
00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:24,264
INTO A KNOT
WITH HIS TONGUE.
325
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,166
I WAS AFRAID TO LET HIM
BLOW ME.
326
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,300
- 27 MINUTES?
327
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:30,904
WAS THAT 13 1/2
ON EACH NIPPLE, OR--
328
00:14:30,938 --> 00:14:34,174
- 16 RIGHT, 11 LEFT.
329
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,977
- YEAH, THAT'S PROBABLY HOW LONG
IT TAKES HIM TO GET IT UP.
330
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:38,145
- I WOULDN'T KNOW.
331
00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:39,980
I NEVER SAW IT
WHEN IT WAS DOWN.
332
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:42,649
- ANOTHER VIAGRA SUCCESS STORY.
333
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,517
- SO ARE YOU BRINGING HIM
TO WOODY'S TONIGHT?
334
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,519
- HE'S NOT REALLY
INTO THE BAR SCENE.
335
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:47,654
[weights clanging]
336
00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:49,422
- WELL, WHAT IS HE INTO?
337
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:51,158
- HIS LIFE.
338
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:52,525
- LIKE THE GUY I MET.
339
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,661
- YOU MET SOMEONE?
340
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:56,529
- HE'S VERY NICE,
341
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,698
VERY INTELLIGENT,
VERY INTERESTING.
342
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,034
- IS HE A TOP OR A BOTTOM?
343
00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:03,236
- YOU KNOW,
NOT EVERYBODY JUDGES PEOPLE
344
00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:04,271
BY YOUR CRITERIA, OKAY?
345
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:05,973
ROGER AND I--
- [laughs]
346
00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:06,974
ROGER?
347
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,641
- ROGER AND I HAVE DECIDED
348
00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:11,244
TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER
BEFORE WE HAVE SEX.
349
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:14,647
- WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE--
LESBIANS?
350
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,616
- IT'S LIKE
THE MIRROR HAS TWO FACES.
351
00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:18,485
- NO. NO, IT IS,
BECAUSE BARBRA
352
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,553
PLAYS AN UNATTRACTIVE
PROFESSOR--NO OFFENSE--
353
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:21,521
WHO MARRIES JEFF BRIDGES
354
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:23,090
BECAUSE NEITHER ONE OF THEM
CAN HANDLE SEX.
355
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:25,158
BUT OF COURSE
BARBRA GETS HORNY BECAUSE,
356
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:27,294
HELLO, JEFF'S
SUCH A DREAMBOAT.
357
00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:29,096
SO SHE HOPS ON A STAIRMASTER
FOR, LIKE, TWO MINUTES,
358
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,163
EATS A CARROT STICK,
AND THEN, POOF!
359
00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:31,331
SHE'S GORGEOUS.
360
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:34,267
THEN SHE COMES IN DRESSED
LIKE THE HOOKER IN NUTS,
361
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,169
AND, OF COURSE,
JEFF'S WILLING TO FUCK HER.
362
00:15:36,203 --> 00:15:40,373
AND, UM,
THEY DANCE IN THE STREET.
363
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:42,175
- AND SHE STILL
WASN'T NOMINATED.
364
00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:44,311
- YOU KNOW,
YOU DO IT RIGHT AWAY,
365
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:47,180
OR YOU DON'T DO IT AT ALL.
366
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:51,584
I'M HAPPY FOR YOU, MIKEY.
367
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:54,321
- THE FUCK HE IS.
368
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:58,458
- JUSTIN, DAPHNE'S HERE.
369
00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:01,328
MOLLY...
- WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE.
370
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:03,530
HEY, LOOK...
371
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:06,399
JUSTIN TOLD ME HOW GREAT
YOU'RE BEING ABOUT EVERYTHING.
372
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:08,335
AND I JUST WANT TO SAY
I THINK HE'S REALLY LUCKY
373
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:10,003
TO HAVE SUCH
AN UNDERSTANDING MOM.
374
00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:11,638
- WELL, I'M TRYING.
375
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:13,206
- YEAH, WELL,
IT MUST BE HARD,
376
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,175
'CAUSE MY FAMILY--
I'M BLACK,
377
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:16,276
MY PARENTS ARE BLACK.
378
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,545
WE'RE ALL BLACK,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
379
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,747
- I THINK SO.
380
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:23,183
- OH.
DID YOU SEE THE FLYER?
381
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,452
- WHAT FLYER?
- FOR THE ART SHOW.
382
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,087
HIS NAME'S REALLY BIG.
383
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,122
WOULD YOU COME ON ALREADY?
384
00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:32,059
- GAY AND LESBIAN CENT--
WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?
385
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,793
- OH, MY GOD.
YOU MEAN HE DIDN'T--
386
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,795
- HE DOESN'T TELL ME MUCH
THESE DAYS.
387
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,398
- OH, PROMISE
YOU WON'T TELL HIM I TOLD YOU,
388
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:39,566
OR HE'LL STOP TELLING ME.
389
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,234
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL.
390
00:16:41,268 --> 00:16:43,636
I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME.
391
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,772
AND I DON'T KNOW
WHEN I'LL BE BACK.
392
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,240
- JUSTIN!
393
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:49,142
[door opens, closes]
394
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:50,810
BE CAREFUL.
395
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:54,614
- CHRIS, PASS ME THAT HAMMER.
396
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,116
- YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT THAT.
397
00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:57,550
- THANKS.
398
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,186
I LIKE YOU GUYS' BRACELETS.
399
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:00,387
- OH, THEY'RE FOR FRIENDSHIP.
400
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,255
I MEAN, HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND
OR ANYTHING.
401
00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:03,790
- I FIGURED.
402
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,525
- YOU CAN TELL I'M GAY?
403
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:08,428
- WELL, YOU'RE HERE,
AREN'T YOU?
404
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,797
I'M HEADING ON DOWN TO THE DINER
TO GET A SODA.
405
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:12,632
YOU WANT TO COME?
406
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:15,068
- SURE.
407
00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:17,437
- WHAT--
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
408
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:18,738
SHE THINKS YOU'RE A LESBIAN.
409
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:21,574
- WELL, CAN'T I BE ONE
OF THE COOL PEOPLE TOO?
410
00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:22,742
- YOU'RE A FREAK.
411
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:24,344
[chuckles]
412
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,648
- YOU KNOW,
YOU HAVE REAL TALENT.
413
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,683
- REALLY?
- YOU SHOULD DEVELOP IT--
414
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:31,818
MAYBE GO TO ART SCHOOL.
415
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:33,320
- I'VE BEEN THINKING
ABOUT THAT.
416
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:34,721
- WELL, IF YOU EVER NEED
A RECOMMENDATION...
417
00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:37,157
- THANKS.
418
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:40,860
- DO YOU THINK
BRIAN'S GOING TO COME?
419
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:43,563
- DON'T EXPECT TOO MUCH
FROM HIM, OKAY?
420
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:46,333
- WHAT'S TOO MUCH?
421
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:47,867
- ANYTHING AT ALL.
422
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,636
YOU'LL HAVE LOTS
OF RELATIONSHIPS, JUSTIN,
423
00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,804
WITH LOTS
OF INTERESTING PEOPLE.
424
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:55,708
I KNOW YOU DON'T BELIEVE THAT
RIGHT NOW, BUT YOU WILL.
425
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:57,810
- I JUST WANT HIM
TO SEE HIS PICTURE FRAMED,
426
00:17:57,844 --> 00:18:01,314
THAT'S ALL.
427
00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:04,184
[overlapping chatter,
pulsing club music]
428
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:13,626
- ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT
TO DO THIS?
429
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,262
- YEAH, WHY NOT?
430
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:18,531
GET A TASTE OF YOUR WORLD,
SEE WHAT I'M SAVING YOU FROM.
431
00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:22,902
- * THIS IS WHAT I FEEL
432
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:26,573
* DO YOU THINK
THAT YOU CAN TAKE *
433
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,607
* EVERYTHING...
434
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,377
- JUST THE SAME
AS I REMEMBER IT.
435
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:33,146
EVEN THE GUYS LOOK THE SAME.
436
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,614
- WHY'D YOU STOP?
437
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:37,884
- IT WASN'T FOR ME.
AND I MET SOMEONE.
438
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,319
- OH.
439
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:41,821
- YEAH, WE WERE TOGETHER
ALMOST SIX YEARS.
440
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:43,690
- WOW.
441
00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:46,893
SO WHO LEFT WHO?
442
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:49,796
- HE DIED.
443
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,264
- I'M SORRY.
444
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:53,366
- NOBODY'S FAULT.
445
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,502
- HI.
[giggles]
446
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:58,538
SO IS, UH--IS THIS
THE FAMOUS CHIROPRACTOR?
447
00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,640
- DAVID, THIS IS EMMETT.
448
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:03,410
- HI, EMMETT.
- HELLO, GORGEOUS.
449
00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:06,479
SO, UM--
SO I'VE, UH--
450
00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:07,780
I'VE GOT A LITTLE TIGHTNESS
RIGHT IN HERE--
451
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:08,781
ONE PLACE I DON'T NEED IT.
452
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:09,882
[chuckles]
WOULD YOU MIND?
453
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:12,285
- I WOULDN'T MIND AT ALL
IF YOU MADE AN APPOINTMENT.
454
00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:14,721
- WELL, IT'S WORTH A SHOT.
455
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,223
- WHERE'S TED?
456
00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:18,625
- OUT WITH
THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY.
457
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,926
OH, MY GOD.
458
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,494
THAT GUY OVER THERE LOOKS
EXACTLY
459
00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:23,530
LIKE MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY.
460
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:27,534
MAYBE HE SMOKES POT NAKED.
EXCUSE ME.
461
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:28,635
- [laughs]
462
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,403
HE DOESN'T HOLD
ANYTHING BACK, HUH?
463
00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:34,874
- HE WAS TONING IT DOWN
FOR YOU.
464
00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:41,414
- WHERE THE FUCK
HAVE YOU BEEN?
465
00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:43,383
- BRIAN, THIS IS DAVID.
466
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,285
- OH, FUCK ME,
THE NEW BEAU.
467
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:46,819
- I'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT YOU.
468
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,588
- AND I'VE HEARD
A LOT ABOUT YOU TOO.
469
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:52,759
- 16 RIGHT, 11 LEFT.
470
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:54,561
- EXCUSE ME?
- NOTHING.
471
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:56,763
YOU'RE TWEAKED,
WHAT ARE YOU ON?
472
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,765
- OH, "E," "K," GHB--
473
00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:00,767
MOST OF THE LETTERS
ON SESAME STREET.
474
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,469
- YOU'RE GOING TO GET DEHYDRATED
TAKING ALL THAT SHIT.
475
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:03,870
I'M GOING TO GET YOU
SOME WATER.
476
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:06,406
WANT A BEER?
- SURE.
477
00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:11,711
WELL, YOU'VE GOT HIM
WELL TRAINED.
478
00:20:11,744 --> 00:20:15,715
- WELL, HE TAKES CARE OF ME,
AND I TAKE CARE OF HIM.
479
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:18,818
SO, DOC...
480
00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:22,455
DO YOU FUCK
ALL OF YOUR PATIENTS?
481
00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:24,491
- WELL, IF YOU'RE REFERRING
TO MICHAEL,
482
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:29,296
I RELEASED HIM FROM MY CARE
BEFORE WE WENT OUT TOGETHER.
483
00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:30,430
[clears throat]
484
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:32,732
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
WHAT DO YOU DO?
485
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:34,401
- ADVERTISING.
486
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,536
- WELL, YOU MUST KNOW
A THING OR TWO
487
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,638
ABOUT SCREWING PEOPLE
YOURSELF.
488
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,607
- YEAH, I COULD DO IT
IN MY SLEEP.
489
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,675
- I BET YOU COULD.
490
00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:45,011
- YOU KNOW, DAVE,
491
00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:47,880
WHAT'S WEIRD ABOUT YOU
MEETING MIKEY...
492
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:48,815
- "MIKEY"?
493
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:51,984
- IS THAT WE USUALLY MEET GUYS
TOGETHER.
494
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:55,455
- AND THEY USUALLY END UP
WITH YOU.
495
00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:57,557
- THE LUCKY ONES.
496
00:20:57,590 --> 00:21:00,493
- DEBATABLE.
497
00:21:00,527 --> 00:21:05,432
- SO WHAT'D I MISS?
- NOTHING SPECIAL.
498
00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:14,341
*
499
00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:15,642
- OKAY.
500
00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:18,811
IDENTIFY MY FAVORITE ARIA
OF ALL TIME,
501
00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:21,080
AND YOU INSTANTLY BECOME
MY NEW FAVORITE PERSON.
502
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,883
- OH, WELL, THANKS FOR NOT
PUTTING ANY PRESSURE ON ME.
503
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:27,920
[laughs]
504
00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:30,423
[La Clemenza di Tito
playing on CD player]
505
00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:31,924
CLEMENZA DI TITO,
506
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:34,661
SESTO'S ARIA, ACT TWO.
507
00:21:34,694 --> 00:21:36,329
COME ON, GIVE ME A TOUGH ONE.
508
00:21:36,363 --> 00:21:38,931
- OKAY, STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME
FALL FOR YOU.
509
00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:40,667
[both laugh]
- WHO'S TRYING?
510
00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:42,001
- YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON
511
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:44,537
I'VE MET IN PITTSBURGH
WHO KNOWS SESTO'S ARIA.
512
00:21:44,571 --> 00:21:46,806
- I'M THE ONLY OTHER PERSON
WHO KNOWS.
513
00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:49,576
- YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A KID,
514
00:21:49,609 --> 00:21:52,912
I USED TO PRETEND I WAS SICK
ON SATURDAY AFTERNOONS
515
00:21:52,945 --> 00:21:54,013
SO I COULD SKIP LITTLE LEAGUE
516
00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:56,616
AND LISTEN TO THE MET OPERA
BROADCASTS ON THE RADIO.
517
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:57,884
- I WISH I'D KNOWN YOU.
518
00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:02,121
WE COULD'VE LISTENED TOGETHER.
519
00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:07,860
*
520
00:22:07,894 --> 00:22:10,563
IS, UH--
IS THIS ALLOWED?
521
00:22:10,597 --> 00:22:13,065
- [softly]
YEAH.
522
00:22:13,099 --> 00:22:16,102
ONLY, UH...
523
00:22:16,135 --> 00:22:19,572
I'M NOT QUITE READY YET.
524
00:22:19,606 --> 00:22:21,107
- IT'S OKAY.
525
00:22:21,140 --> 00:22:23,042
- BUT I WILL BE SOON.
526
00:22:23,075 --> 00:22:25,912
AND, UH...
527
00:22:25,945 --> 00:22:28,047
I HAVE A FEELING
IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT.
528
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:36,022
*
529
00:22:41,628 --> 00:22:43,596
- YOU HAD A HIDEOUS TIME,
I CAN TELL.
530
00:22:43,630 --> 00:22:44,997
- [laughs]
531
00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:47,667
AH, I DON'T MIND GOING OUT
ONCE IN A WHILE.
532
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:49,736
- ARE YOU IMPLYING
THAT I'M A SCENE QUEEN?
533
00:22:49,769 --> 00:22:51,738
- YOU ARE A SCENE QUEEN.
534
00:22:51,771 --> 00:22:53,873
- WE'RE IN PITTSBURGH.
THERE IS NO SCENE.
535
00:22:53,906 --> 00:22:55,875
- YEAH, SO WHAT'S
THE BIG ATTRACTION?
536
00:22:55,908 --> 00:22:57,744
- WELL, IF YOU DON'T GO OUT,
YOU DON'T MEET PEOPLE.
537
00:22:57,777 --> 00:23:00,179
- YOU MET ME.
- RARE EXCEPTION.
538
00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:02,014
BESIDES, MY FRIENDS ARE HERE.
- YOUR FRIENDS?
539
00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:03,182
SOME FRIENDS.
540
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,017
YOUR FRIEND BRIAN
TRIED TO HIT ON ME.
541
00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:06,152
- HE DID NOT.
542
00:23:06,185 --> 00:23:07,954
- I'VE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK.
543
00:23:07,987 --> 00:23:10,890
- HE'S ALWAYS LIKE THAT.
BESIDES, HE WAS HIGH.
544
00:23:10,923 --> 00:23:13,025
- I'M JUST TELLING YOU.
- HE WOULDN'T.
545
00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:15,061
- HE DID.
546
00:23:17,464 --> 00:23:19,632
- SHIT.
547
00:23:19,666 --> 00:23:21,200
WELL, HE CAN'T HAVE YOU.
548
00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:23,603
YOU'RE MINE.
549
00:23:32,512 --> 00:23:34,447
- WHOO!
550
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:45,592
- I TOLD YOU,
I'M NOT GOING.
551
00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:47,527
- I PROMISED HIM
YOU'D BE THERE.
552
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,062
- WELL, YOU SHOULD STOP MAKING
PROMISES THAT I CAN'T KEEP.
553
00:23:50,096 --> 00:23:51,664
- HEY, DON'T BE A SHIT.
554
00:23:51,698 --> 00:23:53,633
I'M TRYING TO CLEAN UP
SOME OF YOUR MESS.
555
00:23:53,666 --> 00:23:56,603
- LOOK, HE'S THE ONE
THAT THREW HIMSELF AT ME.
556
00:23:56,636 --> 00:23:57,704
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET
RID OF HIM.
557
00:23:57,737 --> 00:24:00,172
- TELL IT TO THE JUDGE.
558
00:24:00,206 --> 00:24:03,610
- WHEN DID YOU START SOUNDING
LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND?
559
00:24:03,643 --> 00:24:06,546
- IT'S TIME YOU BECAME PART
OF THE COMMUNITY.
560
00:24:06,579 --> 00:24:09,215
- LOOK,
JUST BECAUSE I FUCK GUYS
561
00:24:09,248 --> 00:24:11,484
DOES NOT MEAN I'M PART
OF SOME COMMUNITY.
562
00:24:11,518 --> 00:24:13,085
AND IT DOESN'T MEAN
I HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON
563
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:15,054
WITH SOMEONE ELSE WHO DOES.
564
00:24:15,087 --> 00:24:15,888
- YOU KNOW,
IT'S MORE THAN THAT.
565
00:24:15,922 --> 00:24:18,090
WE NEED TO TAKE CARE
OF EACH OTHER.
566
00:24:18,124 --> 00:24:20,092
- I DON'T NEED TO TAKE CARE
OF ANYONE.
567
00:24:20,126 --> 00:24:22,529
AND I DON'T NEED ANYONE
TO TAKE CARE OF ME.
568
00:24:22,562 --> 00:24:23,863
- ONE DAY YOU MIGHT.
569
00:24:23,896 --> 00:24:24,864
- [sighs]
570
00:24:24,897 --> 00:24:26,799
FUCK GROUPS.
571
00:24:26,833 --> 00:24:28,835
- I THOUGHT YOU DID.
572
00:24:28,868 --> 00:24:30,570
- OCCASIONALLY.
573
00:24:30,603 --> 00:24:34,774
BUT IT'S BY INVITATION ONLY.
574
00:24:36,208 --> 00:24:39,178
- [playing Canon in D]
575
00:24:39,211 --> 00:24:47,153
*
576
00:24:55,161 --> 00:24:56,529
- DID YOU SEE THIS?
577
00:24:56,563 --> 00:24:57,764
THEY'RE CHARGING $100
578
00:24:57,797 --> 00:24:59,165
FOR EVERY ONE
OF YOUR DRAWINGS.
579
00:24:59,198 --> 00:25:00,733
YOU COULD BE RICH.
580
00:25:00,767 --> 00:25:02,001
- IT'S A CHARITY.
581
00:25:02,034 --> 00:25:04,003
I DON'T GET TO KEEP IT.
582
00:25:04,036 --> 00:25:06,105
- STILL.
583
00:25:06,138 --> 00:25:09,776
AND WOULD YOU STOP WATCHING
THE DOOR?
584
00:25:09,809 --> 00:25:14,246
*
585
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,148
- HE PLAYS BEAUTIFULLY,
DOESN'T HE?
586
00:25:16,182 --> 00:25:17,917
- I'M ALL A-TINGLE.
587
00:25:17,950 --> 00:25:21,654
SO HAVE YOU TWO HAD SEX YET?
- NO!
588
00:25:21,688 --> 00:25:23,289
WOULD YOU KEEP
YOUR VOICE DOWN?
589
00:25:23,322 --> 00:25:25,091
- WELL, WHEN ARE YOU?
590
00:25:25,124 --> 00:25:26,559
- [sighs]
591
00:25:26,593 --> 00:25:28,260
WHEN WE BOTH KNOW
IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
592
00:25:28,294 --> 00:25:31,631
- SEX IS NEVER
THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
593
00:25:31,664 --> 00:25:33,900
FEEDING THE POOR
IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
594
00:25:33,933 --> 00:25:35,702
HIRING THE HANDICAPPED
IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
595
00:25:35,735 --> 00:25:37,169
DONATING BLOOD IS THE RIGHT--
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
596
00:25:37,203 --> 00:25:38,705
YOU MADE YOUR POINT.
597
00:25:38,738 --> 00:25:40,673
- EVERYONE LOVES
YOUR DRAWINGS.
598
00:25:40,707 --> 00:25:42,642
- YOU GUYS CHECK OUT THE FOOD?
- I'M NOT HUNGRY.
599
00:25:42,675 --> 00:25:43,743
- OKAY.
HOW ABOUT THE CUTE GUYS?
600
00:25:43,776 --> 00:25:47,146
THERE'S SOME RIGHT OVER THERE
JUST ABOUT YOUR AGE.
601
00:25:51,918 --> 00:25:53,886
- HE'S HERE.
602
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,623
- HMM. YIPPEE.
603
00:25:56,656 --> 00:25:59,759
- WELL, AREN'T YOU GOING
TO GO OVER THERE?
604
00:25:59,792 --> 00:26:02,128
- ARE YOU CRAZY?
605
00:26:02,161 --> 00:26:05,131
- THANKS FOR COMING.
606
00:26:05,164 --> 00:26:07,600
- WHATEVER.
607
00:26:10,336 --> 00:26:11,871
WHERE'S THE BACK ROOM?
608
00:26:15,708 --> 00:26:18,077
- LINDSAY, THIS IS DAVID.
609
00:26:18,110 --> 00:26:20,279
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
610
00:26:20,312 --> 00:26:22,682
- WHOO! MICHAEL.
611
00:26:22,715 --> 00:26:23,716
- [clears throat]
612
00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:25,885
LET'S GO CHECK OUT
THE VAGINA SCULPTURES FIRST,
613
00:26:25,918 --> 00:26:28,120
GET IT OVER WITH.
614
00:26:32,992 --> 00:26:35,762
- THE FAMOUS ARTISTE.
615
00:26:35,795 --> 00:26:36,963
- OH, DID YOU SEE MY STUFF?
616
00:26:36,996 --> 00:26:38,264
- NO, I HAD TO GET
A DRINK FIRST.
617
00:26:38,297 --> 00:26:40,967
- IT'S OVER THERE...
618
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,670
IN CASE YOU'RE INTERESTED.
619
00:27:00,352 --> 00:27:02,254
- PSST.
620
00:27:03,990 --> 00:27:07,393
- I THINK THE ARTIST
HAS TAKEN SOME LIBERTIES.
621
00:27:07,426 --> 00:27:09,395
- OH, THAT'S
A PERFECT LIKENESS.
622
00:27:09,428 --> 00:27:12,665
- COME ON,
IT WAS NEVER THAT BIG.
623
00:27:12,699 --> 00:27:15,334
- HEY, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT
IN A LONG TIME.
624
00:27:15,367 --> 00:27:16,402
- I HAVEN'T SEEN
GONE WITH THE WIND
625
00:27:16,435 --> 00:27:17,737
IN A LONG TIME EITHER,
626
00:27:17,770 --> 00:27:20,206
BUT I KNOW
IT'S STILL 3 1/2 HOURS.
627
00:27:20,239 --> 00:27:22,074
- THE BRIAN AND MICHAEL SHOW--
628
00:27:22,108 --> 00:27:23,976
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
629
00:27:24,010 --> 00:27:28,080
STUCK IN PERPETUAL RERUNS.
630
00:27:28,114 --> 00:27:31,818
- IS IT ALWAYS LIKE THAT--
MICHAEL RUNNING AFTER HIM?
631
00:27:31,851 --> 00:27:34,921
- IT'S THE GREATEST LOVE STORY
NEVER TOLD, TRUST ME.
632
00:27:34,954 --> 00:27:36,756
WHAT WAS YOUR NAME?
633
00:27:36,789 --> 00:27:37,757
- DAVID.
634
00:27:37,790 --> 00:27:38,758
- MELANIE.
635
00:27:38,791 --> 00:27:40,092
TRUST ME, DAVID,
636
00:27:40,126 --> 00:27:41,861
LONG AFTER YOU'RE GONE,
HE'LL STILL HAVE MICHAEL--
637
00:27:41,894 --> 00:27:44,130
BRIAN'S LITTLE ACOLYTE,
POOR GUY.
638
00:27:44,163 --> 00:27:45,798
OH, BUT DON'T WORRY.
MICHAEL CAN WAIT FOREVER.
639
00:27:45,832 --> 00:27:47,967
BRIAN'LL NEVER FUCK HIM.
PARDON MY FRENCH.
640
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,202
- BY THE WAY, I HEARD YOU
HIT ON DAVID LAST NIGHT.
641
00:27:50,236 --> 00:27:51,303
- [scoffs]
642
00:27:51,337 --> 00:27:52,905
I COULDN'T HAVE BEEN
THAT HIGH.
643
00:27:52,939 --> 00:27:55,875
- YOU WERE.
AND YOU DID.
644
00:27:55,908 --> 00:27:57,009
- I WAS TESTING HIM.
645
00:27:57,043 --> 00:27:59,311
I WANTED TO SEE IF HE'D DROP YOU
THE FIRST CHANCE HE GOT.
646
00:27:59,345 --> 00:28:02,214
- OH, YEAH, RIGHT.
647
00:28:02,248 --> 00:28:04,984
- AREN'T I ALWAYS LOOKING OUT
FOR YOU?
648
00:28:05,017 --> 00:28:07,286
- YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS
BECAUSE SOMEBODY FINALLY THINKS
649
00:28:07,319 --> 00:28:10,857
I'M HOT OR SOMETHING.
650
00:28:10,890 --> 00:28:12,792
- YOU ARE HOT OR SOMETHING.
651
00:28:12,825 --> 00:28:14,994
I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU THAT
SINCE YOU WERE 14.
652
00:28:15,027 --> 00:28:17,830
BUT YOU WON'T BELIEVE ME.
653
00:28:21,267 --> 00:28:24,971
- SO I SUPPOSE I JUST KEEP HIM
COMPANY WHILE MICHAEL WAITS.
654
00:28:25,004 --> 00:28:25,972
- OH--
655
00:28:26,005 --> 00:28:27,840
OH, SHIT!
656
00:28:27,874 --> 00:28:31,177
OH, YOU'RE WITH MICHAEL.
- YEAH.
657
00:28:31,210 --> 00:28:33,045
- UM, OH, JESUS,
658
00:28:33,079 --> 00:28:34,313
I, UM--
I'M--I'M SORRY.
659
00:28:34,346 --> 00:28:35,915
I-I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
I-I MEAN--
660
00:28:35,948 --> 00:28:37,917
WELL, I MEAN,
BRIAN'S THE ONE
661
00:28:37,950 --> 00:28:39,451
THAT'S ALWAYS SHOWING UP
WITH SOME NEW GUY,
662
00:28:39,485 --> 00:28:41,353
SO I JUST ASSUMED
THAT, UM...
663
00:28:41,387 --> 00:28:43,089
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
664
00:28:43,122 --> 00:28:44,791
- WELL, YOU KNOW THAT--
665
00:28:44,824 --> 00:28:46,926
THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AS FRIENDS,
BUT THAT'S IT.
666
00:28:46,959 --> 00:28:48,394
THAT'S REALLY--
THAT'S ALL IT IS.
667
00:28:48,427 --> 00:28:49,495
- REALLY?
668
00:28:49,528 --> 00:28:51,864
IT'S NOT LIKE I DIDN'T KNOW.
669
00:28:51,898 --> 00:28:54,433
- DO YOU WANT A SHRIMP BALL?
670
00:28:54,466 --> 00:28:56,502
- NO.
671
00:28:56,535 --> 00:28:58,437
THANKS.
672
00:29:03,442 --> 00:29:04,911
- [mouths word]
673
00:29:12,418 --> 00:29:16,856
- NOW, THAT'S
WHAT I CALL A PIECE...
674
00:29:16,889 --> 00:29:17,990
OF ART.
675
00:29:18,024 --> 00:29:19,391
- [snickers]
676
00:29:19,425 --> 00:29:21,527
I'VE ALWAYS ADMIRED
CREATIVE PEOPLE.
677
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:24,997
- YOU'RE PRETTY CREATIVE
YOURSELF THERE, MISSY.
678
00:29:25,031 --> 00:29:28,267
- [scoffs]
NOT ME.
679
00:29:28,300 --> 00:29:31,303
BUT MICHAEL--
HE'S GOT A GIFT.
680
00:29:31,337 --> 00:29:33,072
- I DIDN'T KNOW
HE COULD DRAW.
681
00:29:33,105 --> 00:29:34,841
- OH, HE CAN'T.
682
00:29:34,874 --> 00:29:36,976
I BOUGHT HIM TRACING PAPER
WHEN HE WAS A KID
683
00:29:37,009 --> 00:29:38,410
SO HE COULD COPY
HIS COMIC BOOKS.
684
00:29:38,444 --> 00:29:40,880
HIS SPIDER-MAN ALWAYS ENDED UP
685
00:29:40,913 --> 00:29:43,049
LOOKING MORE LIKE
LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE.
686
00:29:43,082 --> 00:29:45,484
- WELL, WHAT'S HIS TALENT?
687
00:29:45,517 --> 00:29:48,888
- WELL, IT'S NOTHING
HE'D BE FAMOUS FOR.
688
00:29:48,921 --> 00:29:51,423
YOU WON'T EVER SEE
HIS PAINTINGS
689
00:29:51,457 --> 00:29:52,859
HANGING IN AN ART GALLERY
690
00:29:52,892 --> 00:29:57,429
OR HEAR HIM PLAYING
AT CARNEGIE HALL.
691
00:29:57,463 --> 00:30:00,366
BUT WHEN IT COMES
TO TAKING CARE OF PEOPLE,
692
00:30:00,399 --> 00:30:04,303
KNOWING WHAT YOU NEED
BETTER EVEN THAN YOU DO,
693
00:30:04,336 --> 00:30:07,339
HE'S A FUCKING PICASSO.
694
00:30:40,206 --> 00:30:41,941
- BEAUTIFUL LIGHT AND SHADOW.
695
00:30:41,974 --> 00:30:43,876
- VERY...
696
00:30:43,910 --> 00:30:46,112
HAUNTING.
697
00:30:46,145 --> 00:30:48,614
- THE PHOTOGRAPHER
HAS A GREAT EYE.
698
00:30:48,647 --> 00:30:50,416
- STRONG...
699
00:30:50,449 --> 00:30:52,551
COMPOSITION.
700
00:30:52,584 --> 00:30:54,220
- YOU CAN'T STAY.
YOU HAVE TO LEAVE.
701
00:30:54,253 --> 00:30:55,955
- NOW, JUSTIN,
DON'T BE MEAN.
702
00:30:55,988 --> 00:30:57,456
I'VE KEPT MY END
OF THE BARGAIN.
703
00:30:57,489 --> 00:31:00,492
NOW, I WOULD LIKE TO SEE
MY SON'S WORK.
704
00:31:00,526 --> 00:31:02,628
I WON'T EMBARRASS YOU,
I PROMISE.
705
00:31:02,661 --> 00:31:04,931
- JUSTIN, IS THIS YOUR MOTHER?
706
00:31:04,964 --> 00:31:06,398
- HI, I'M JENNIFER.
707
00:31:06,432 --> 00:31:08,234
- MELANIE.
- LINDSAY.
708
00:31:08,267 --> 00:31:11,070
YOU KNOW,
YOUR SON'S REMARKABLY TALENTED.
709
00:31:11,103 --> 00:31:12,438
YOU SHOULD BE VERY PROUD.
710
00:31:12,471 --> 00:31:15,541
- WELL, THANK YOU.
I AM.
711
00:31:15,574 --> 00:31:18,444
AND WHAT A BEAUTIFUL BABY.
712
00:31:18,477 --> 00:31:19,645
- HIS NAME'S GUS.
713
00:31:19,678 --> 00:31:21,347
- ACTUALLY, JUSTIN'S
THE ONE WHO NAMED HIM.
714
00:31:21,380 --> 00:31:22,915
- REALLY?
715
00:31:22,949 --> 00:31:24,383
WELL, THAT WAS
HIS TEDDY BEAR'S NAME.
716
00:31:24,416 --> 00:31:27,453
- AW!
- AW, A TEDDY BEAR.
717
00:31:27,486 --> 00:31:28,520
- MOM.
718
00:31:28,554 --> 00:31:31,123
- UM, ARE YOU THE MOTHER?
719
00:31:31,157 --> 00:31:34,493
- UH, YES, BUT WE'RE RAISING
HIM TOGETHER.
720
00:31:34,526 --> 00:31:36,395
- WELL, THAT'S WONDERFUL.
721
00:31:36,428 --> 00:31:38,931
I'VE NEVER MET
LESBIAN MOTHERS BEFORE.
722
00:31:38,965 --> 00:31:41,700
I MEAN, I-I READ
ABOUT YOU--THEM
723
00:31:41,733 --> 00:31:43,535
IN THE PAPERS ALL THE TIME.
724
00:31:43,569 --> 00:31:46,005
- SEEMS LIKE THERE'S
ALWAYS SOME JUDGE IN ALABAMA
725
00:31:46,038 --> 00:31:47,073
TRYING TO TAKE OUR KIDS AWAY.
726
00:31:47,106 --> 00:31:48,574
- THAT'S WHY I MARRIED
A LAWYER.
727
00:31:48,607 --> 00:31:51,410
[laughter]
728
00:31:52,711 --> 00:31:54,513
- HAVE YOU SEEN THE ART?
729
00:31:54,546 --> 00:31:55,982
- NOT YET.
730
00:31:56,015 --> 00:31:59,118
WHERE'S YOUR STUFF, HONEY?
731
00:32:02,688 --> 00:32:05,691
- SHE CAME.
THAT'S HUGE.
732
00:32:09,461 --> 00:32:11,163
- TREMENDOUS ENERGY.
733
00:32:11,197 --> 00:32:14,700
- IT REALLY COMES
RIGHT OUT AT YOU.
734
00:32:16,502 --> 00:32:19,038
ROGER...
735
00:32:19,071 --> 00:32:21,974
I THINK I'M READY.
736
00:32:22,008 --> 00:32:25,311
- I PROMISED TO PLAY
THE PIANO.
737
00:32:25,344 --> 00:32:26,512
- YOU'RE JUST VOLUNTEERING.
738
00:32:26,545 --> 00:32:29,448
- YOU'RE RIGHT.
FUCK 'EM!
739
00:33:11,357 --> 00:33:14,326
- WHO'S THAT GUY YOU DREW?
740
00:33:26,272 --> 00:33:29,241
[edgy music]
741
00:33:29,275 --> 00:33:37,249
*
742
00:34:04,576 --> 00:34:07,346
[opera music]
743
00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:08,414
[headboard knocks]
744
00:34:08,447 --> 00:34:10,416
- OH, SORRY!
- THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
745
00:34:10,449 --> 00:34:18,424
*
746
00:34:19,825 --> 00:34:22,794
[clock ticking]
747
00:34:22,828 --> 00:34:30,769
*
748
00:34:41,247 --> 00:34:43,782
[ticking intensifies]
749
00:34:47,486 --> 00:34:49,455
- OUCH!
- I'M SORRY.
750
00:34:49,488 --> 00:34:51,657
- IT'S OKAY.
751
00:34:51,690 --> 00:34:54,726
[clocks ticking louder]
752
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:58,330
*
753
00:34:58,364 --> 00:35:00,232
I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
754
00:35:00,266 --> 00:35:01,767
- WHAT?
- NO, I-I CAN'T.
755
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,736
- WHAT IS IT?
IS SOMETHING WRONG?
756
00:35:04,770 --> 00:35:06,338
- IT JUST WON'T WORK.
757
00:35:06,372 --> 00:35:09,308
I THOUGHT I COULD DO THIS.
I REALLY DID.
758
00:35:09,341 --> 00:35:11,677
I MEAN, YOU ARE SO NICE
759
00:35:11,710 --> 00:35:14,646
AND SMART AND TALENTED.
760
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,748
AND YOU PLAY THE PIANO
BEAUTIFULLY.
761
00:35:16,782 --> 00:35:18,784
- BUT?
762
00:35:18,817 --> 00:35:20,519
WELL...
763
00:35:20,552 --> 00:35:23,889
GO ON, SAY IT.
764
00:35:23,922 --> 00:35:25,657
- YOU'RE JUST NOT MY TYPE.
765
00:35:25,691 --> 00:35:29,361
- "TYPE"?
766
00:35:29,395 --> 00:35:32,498
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
767
00:35:32,531 --> 00:35:35,167
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
AFTER ALL THAT?
768
00:35:35,201 --> 00:35:38,237
I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T WANT SEX
TO BE EVERYTHING.
769
00:35:38,270 --> 00:35:40,172
- YEAH, BUT...
770
00:35:40,206 --> 00:35:43,575
I'D LIKE IT
TO BE SOMETHING.
771
00:35:46,712 --> 00:35:49,147
- YOU'RE JUST LIKE
ALL THE OTHERS.
772
00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:56,255
[muttering]
WHERE'S MY SOCK?
773
00:35:56,288 --> 00:35:59,325
- LOOK, IT'S MY FAULT.
I ADMIT IT.
774
00:35:59,358 --> 00:36:01,293
I MEAN, I-I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH ME.
775
00:36:01,327 --> 00:36:03,362
I MEAN, YOU'RE A CATCH.
776
00:36:03,395 --> 00:36:06,698
ANY STRAIGHT WOMAN WOULD FIND
YOU INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE.
777
00:36:06,732 --> 00:36:08,834
- OH, IS THAT SUPPOSED
TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?
778
00:36:08,867 --> 00:36:10,402
FUCK YOU.
779
00:36:10,436 --> 00:36:13,672
- LOOK, I KNOW WE SHARE
ALL THE IMPORTANT THINGS--
780
00:36:13,705 --> 00:36:16,408
MUSIC, A SENSE OF HUMOR.
781
00:36:16,442 --> 00:36:18,944
THIS WOULD BE A TOTALLY
APPROPRIATE RELATIONSHIP FOR ME.
782
00:36:18,977 --> 00:36:22,281
THE ONLY PROBLEM IS
IS THAT SEX ISN'T APPROPRIATE.
783
00:36:22,314 --> 00:36:25,317
- YOU KNOW,
I WAS WRONG.
784
00:36:25,351 --> 00:36:28,520
YOU'RE NOT LIKE ALL THE OTHERS.
YOU'RE WORSE...
785
00:36:28,554 --> 00:36:30,556
BECAUSE YOU THINK KNOWING
SESTO'S ARIA
786
00:36:30,589 --> 00:36:32,958
FROM CLEMENZA DI TITO
SOMEHOW MAKES YOU BETTER.
787
00:36:32,991 --> 00:36:34,560
WELL, LET ME TELL YOU,
788
00:36:34,593 --> 00:36:36,428
YOU'RE NOTHING
BUT A PRETENTIOUS,
789
00:36:36,462 --> 00:36:38,464
SELF-INVOLVED, BORING ASSHOLE
790
00:36:38,497 --> 00:36:40,299
WHO'S STILL HANGING AROUND
WITH YOUNGER GUYS
791
00:36:40,332 --> 00:36:43,435
WHO DON'T WANT YOU
AND NEVER WILL.
792
00:36:43,469 --> 00:36:45,871
YOU'RE PATHETIC.
793
00:36:45,904 --> 00:36:48,006
- AND WHAT ABOUT YOU?
794
00:36:48,039 --> 00:36:51,577
YOU KNOW, AFTER YOU CONDUCT
YOUR 501ST TRIBUTE
795
00:36:51,610 --> 00:36:54,346
TO SONDHEIM,
YOU MIGHT TRY GOING TO A GYM.
796
00:36:54,380 --> 00:36:55,847
YOU KNOW,
GET ON A TREADMILL
797
00:36:55,881 --> 00:36:57,583
FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE,
WOULD YOU?
798
00:36:57,616 --> 00:37:01,887
AND DO SOMETHING
ABOUT YOUR BREATH!
799
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:03,889
LISTEN...
800
00:37:08,460 --> 00:37:10,896
I DON'T SUPPOSE
WE COULD STILL BE FRIENDS.
801
00:37:17,303 --> 00:37:20,272
[opera music]
802
00:37:20,306 --> 00:37:28,246
*
803
00:37:30,549 --> 00:37:32,918
[dance music]
804
00:37:32,951 --> 00:37:35,487
- SO I THOUGHT,
OKAY, HE'S HAVING...
805
00:37:35,521 --> 00:37:37,423
EXPERIENCES.
806
00:37:37,456 --> 00:37:39,991
BUT WITH BOYS HIS OWN AGE.
807
00:37:40,025 --> 00:37:42,328
THIS MAN--
808
00:37:42,361 --> 00:37:43,662
HE MUST BE IN HIS 30s!
809
00:37:43,695 --> 00:37:45,397
- WELL, NOT YET,
BUT I'LL BE HAPPY
810
00:37:45,431 --> 00:37:46,765
TO TELL HIM YOU THOUGHT SO.
811
00:37:46,798 --> 00:37:48,600
- WELL, IT'S NOT RIGHT.
812
00:37:48,634 --> 00:37:49,901
- IT HAPPENS.
813
00:37:49,935 --> 00:37:53,038
- IF HIS FATHER FINDS OUT...
[scoffs]
814
00:37:54,706 --> 00:37:57,843
TELL ME ABOUT HIM--
THIS PERSON.
815
00:37:57,876 --> 00:37:58,877
I HAVE TO KNOW.
816
00:37:58,910 --> 00:38:02,881
- BRIAN KINNEY...
817
00:38:02,914 --> 00:38:05,751
GOD'S GIFT TO GAY P.A.
818
00:38:07,553 --> 00:38:09,521
THEY ALL WANT BRIAN.
819
00:38:09,555 --> 00:38:11,790
BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS
NO ONE CAN HAVE HIM.
820
00:38:11,823 --> 00:38:14,693
HE SCREWS THEM, BREAKS THEIR
HEART, AND THEY WISE UP--
821
00:38:14,726 --> 00:38:17,896
WELL, MOST OF THEM ANYWAY.
822
00:38:21,433 --> 00:38:24,603
- SO, THIS, UH...
823
00:38:24,636 --> 00:38:27,005
BRIAN KINNEY...
824
00:38:27,038 --> 00:38:29,641
HE'S GOING TO HURT MY SON.
825
00:38:29,675 --> 00:38:31,076
WHAT DO I DO?
826
00:38:31,109 --> 00:38:32,678
- NOTHING.
827
00:38:32,711 --> 00:38:35,681
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO
WITHOUT MAKING IT WORSE.
828
00:38:35,714 --> 00:38:37,416
- HE'S ONLY 17.
829
00:38:37,449 --> 00:38:41,052
- HOW OLD WERE YOU
THE FIRST TIME?
830
00:38:41,086 --> 00:38:43,355
- 16.
831
00:38:43,389 --> 00:38:46,324
- 15.
832
00:38:49,528 --> 00:38:52,364
ANYWAY, IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL
ANY BETTER,
833
00:38:52,398 --> 00:38:54,700
I'VE KNOWN BRIAN
SINCE HE WAS 14.
834
00:38:54,733 --> 00:38:56,568
HE HASN'T CHANGED MUCH.
835
00:38:56,602 --> 00:38:59,705
IN FACT, I'D SAY HE AND JUSTIN
ARE PRETTY EVENLY MATCHED.
836
00:38:59,738 --> 00:39:02,508
- [sighs]
837
00:39:02,541 --> 00:39:04,710
I DON'T KNOW
IF I CAN BE SO ACCEPTING.
838
00:39:04,743 --> 00:39:06,111
- HONEY...
839
00:39:06,144 --> 00:39:08,847
JENNIFER...
840
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,982
YOU DON'T HAVE
TOO MUCH CHOICE.
841
00:39:11,016 --> 00:39:13,719
ALL YOU CAN DO IS HOPE
THAT THEY'LL BE CAREFUL
842
00:39:13,752 --> 00:39:17,556
AND THAT THEY REMEMBER
YOUR PHONE NUMBER.
843
00:39:20,626 --> 00:39:22,160
- UGH.
844
00:39:22,193 --> 00:39:23,462
HERE.
845
00:39:23,495 --> 00:39:25,163
- DON'T YOU DARE.
846
00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:26,598
THIS IS ON ME.
847
00:39:26,632 --> 00:39:28,567
- THANKS.
848
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:31,136
- OH, HERE...
849
00:39:31,169 --> 00:39:33,639
GIVE HIM WHAT HE NEEDS.
850
00:39:41,913 --> 00:39:45,016
[dance music]
851
00:39:45,050 --> 00:39:49,821
*
852
00:39:49,855 --> 00:39:53,725
- * HE'S A HUNK OF LOVE
853
00:39:53,759 --> 00:39:55,160
- ADMIT IT--
854
00:39:55,193 --> 00:39:57,162
YOU MISSED ALL THIS.
855
00:39:57,195 --> 00:39:59,064
- THE RAMPANT NARCISSISM,
856
00:39:59,097 --> 00:40:01,733
THE SLEAZE, THE DRUG USE?
857
00:40:01,767 --> 00:40:03,569
I DON'T THINK SO.
858
00:40:03,602 --> 00:40:05,504
- SO WHY'D YOU COME BACK?
859
00:40:05,537 --> 00:40:08,474
- WHEN I FIGURE IT OUT,
I'LL LET YOU KNOW.
860
00:40:08,507 --> 00:40:11,209
- OH, LOOK,
IT'S THE CAST OF ZOOM.
861
00:40:11,242 --> 00:40:12,711
- WE'RE CELEBRATING.
862
00:40:12,744 --> 00:40:14,446
JUSTIN SOLD SOME
OF HIS ART TODAY.
863
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:16,448
- THE ONE OF YOU, NAKED.
864
00:40:16,482 --> 00:40:18,083
- WHO'D BUY THAT?
865
00:40:18,116 --> 00:40:21,119
- PROBABLY SOME DESPERATE QUEEN
WHO'S ALWAYS PINED FOR YOU.
866
00:40:21,152 --> 00:40:24,089
- OH, TED,
HOW THOUGHTFUL.
867
00:40:24,122 --> 00:40:25,891
[bottles clinking]
868
00:40:25,924 --> 00:40:31,863
- OH, MY GOD.
I USED TO LOVE THIS SONG.
869
00:40:31,897 --> 00:40:33,832
- * OOH, OOH
870
00:40:33,865 --> 00:40:35,634
- THEN LET'S DANCE.
871
00:40:35,667 --> 00:40:39,538
- * OOH, OOH
872
00:40:39,571 --> 00:40:43,609
- I GOT TO PEE.
873
00:40:43,642 --> 00:40:46,545
* OOH, OOH, OOH
874
00:40:46,578 --> 00:40:48,880
* YOU'RE THE STAR
875
00:40:48,914 --> 00:40:51,483
* IT'S WHO YOU ARE
876
00:40:51,517 --> 00:40:53,084
- OKAY, DR. FEELGOOD.
877
00:40:53,118 --> 00:40:55,621
LET ME SEE YOU SHAKE
YOUR GROOVE THANG.
878
00:40:55,654 --> 00:40:57,723
COME ON.
879
00:41:03,128 --> 00:41:04,830
OOH, HE CAN DANCE.
880
00:41:04,863 --> 00:41:06,698
HE'S GAY AFTER ALL.
881
00:41:06,732 --> 00:41:09,935
- * EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME
882
00:41:09,968 --> 00:41:13,204
* THEY WANT TO GET CLOSE
TO THAT FLAME *
883
00:41:13,238 --> 00:41:16,942
* YOU CAN SEE IT
ON EVERY FACE *
884
00:41:16,975 --> 00:41:19,611
- ANYBODY EVER TELL YOU
YOU'RE A BAD INFLUENCE?
885
00:41:19,645 --> 00:41:20,979
YOU ARE.
886
00:41:21,012 --> 00:41:25,717
- * THE DJ PLAYS
YOUR FAVORITE SONG *
887
00:41:25,751 --> 00:41:29,154
* EVERYONE WANTS TO SING ALONG
888
00:41:29,187 --> 00:41:32,658
* IT'S A FEELING
YOU CAN'T FIGHT *
889
00:41:32,691 --> 00:41:36,862
* 'CAUSE YOU'RE
THE STAR TONIGHT *
890
00:42:00,652 --> 00:42:02,153
- HI.
891
00:42:02,187 --> 00:42:04,122
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
892
00:42:04,155 --> 00:42:06,024
- BETTER...
893
00:42:06,057 --> 00:42:09,327
NO THANKS TO YOU.
894
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,763
- I NEVER REALLY KNEW FOR SURE
WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT.
895
00:42:11,797 --> 00:42:12,931
I FIGURED YOU CAME
OUT OF IT OKAY.
896
00:42:12,964 --> 00:42:14,633
I KEPT LOOKING IN THE PAPERS.
897
00:42:14,666 --> 00:42:17,703
- GEE, THAT'S
REALLY THOUGHTFUL.
898
00:42:17,736 --> 00:42:20,972
- I, UH...
899
00:42:21,006 --> 00:42:22,107
WAITED ON THE CORNER
900
00:42:22,140 --> 00:42:25,711
AFTER I CALLED THE PARAMEDICS,
TO MAKE SURE THEY CAME.
901
00:42:25,744 --> 00:42:29,748
- YOU MEAN YOU CALLED 911?
902
00:42:29,781 --> 00:42:32,050
- I DIDN'T WANT TO STICK AROUND.
903
00:42:32,083 --> 00:42:34,252
I WAS AFRAID--
YOU KNOW, THE DRUGS AND SHIT.
904
00:42:34,285 --> 00:42:35,754
- RIGHT.
905
00:42:35,787 --> 00:42:39,290
- I MEAN, YOU TOOK SO MUCH,
I WAS LIKE, "WHOA."
906
00:42:41,359 --> 00:42:45,030
ANYWAY,
I'M GLAD YOU'RE OKAY.
907
00:42:46,732 --> 00:42:49,334
- WELL, UH...
908
00:42:49,367 --> 00:42:52,237
MAYBE WE COULD GET TOGETHER
AGAIN SOME TIME--
909
00:42:52,270 --> 00:42:53,939
I MEAN,
WITHOUT THE PARAMEDICS.
910
00:42:53,972 --> 00:42:56,107
- [chuckles]
911
00:42:56,141 --> 00:42:57,375
- THERE YOU ARE.
912
00:42:57,408 --> 00:42:59,244
WHAT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG?
913
00:42:59,277 --> 00:43:02,047
- JUST TALKING TO SOME GUY.
914
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:05,283
WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN?
915
00:43:05,316 --> 00:43:06,351
- TED.
916
00:43:06,384 --> 00:43:09,220
- TED, RIGHT.
917
00:43:09,254 --> 00:43:11,857
YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
918
00:43:11,890 --> 00:43:15,961
- SEE YOU.
919
00:43:15,994 --> 00:43:23,802
*
920
00:43:25,203 --> 00:43:26,638
- HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?
921
00:43:26,672 --> 00:43:28,073
- NO!
- HI.
922
00:43:28,106 --> 00:43:30,375
HI, HOW ARE YOU?
923
00:43:30,408 --> 00:43:31,977
HI.
924
00:43:32,010 --> 00:43:33,945
HEY, HOW ARE...
925
00:43:33,979 --> 00:43:36,848
HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?
926
00:43:36,882 --> 00:43:37,916
IT'S A GREAT LITTLE...
927
00:43:37,949 --> 00:43:40,752
OW!
928
00:43:43,154 --> 00:43:44,723
- HOW'S IT GOING?
929
00:43:44,756 --> 00:43:47,292
YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER--
THAT'S TERRIFIC.
930
00:43:50,261 --> 00:43:53,732
- OH, MY GOD, YOU DID IT
IN THE LITTLE BOYS' ROOM.
931
00:43:53,765 --> 00:43:55,000
- NOPE.
932
00:43:55,033 --> 00:43:56,868
- YOU GOT SOMEBODY'S
PHONE NUMBER?
933
00:43:56,902 --> 00:44:00,906
- I WAS REJECTED BY EVERYBODY.
934
00:44:03,942 --> 00:44:05,877
IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK!
935
00:44:05,911 --> 00:44:07,879
[both laugh]
936
00:44:07,913 --> 00:44:09,681
- MWAH.
937
00:44:09,715 --> 00:44:10,782
- [laughs]
938
00:44:10,816 --> 00:44:13,919
- LET'S GET YOU A COCKTAIL.
- OKAY.
939
00:44:13,952 --> 00:44:18,289
*
940
00:44:18,323 --> 00:44:22,227
* JUST GIVE ME
ONE MORE CHANCE *
941
00:44:22,260 --> 00:44:25,931
* IF YOU'RE STILL IN DOUBT
942
00:44:25,964 --> 00:44:28,299
* BABY, WALK AWAY
943
00:44:28,333 --> 00:44:33,739
* ONE MORE DANCE
IF WE WORK IT OUT *
944
00:44:33,772 --> 00:44:37,108
* AND PROMISE
YOU'LL STAY WITH ME *
945
00:44:37,142 --> 00:44:41,747
*
946
00:44:41,780 --> 00:44:43,448
- HEY, HOT STUFF,
YOU WANT TO DANCE?
947
00:44:43,481 --> 00:44:45,283
- I DON'T THINK SO.
948
00:44:45,316 --> 00:44:47,986
- WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
949
00:44:48,019 --> 00:44:50,856
- TAKE YOU HOME.
950
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:58,463
- * JUST GIVE ME
ONE MORE CHANCE *
951
00:44:58,496 --> 00:45:02,200
* IF YOU'RE STILL IN DOUBT
952
00:45:02,233 --> 00:45:04,736
* BABY, WALK AWAY
953
00:45:04,770 --> 00:45:10,075
* ONE MORE DANCE
IF WE WORK IT OUT *
954
00:45:10,108 --> 00:45:11,276
* AND PROMISE YOU'LL STAY
955
00:45:11,309 --> 00:45:13,812
[glass shatters]
956
00:45:13,845 --> 00:45:15,881
- WHOA, WHOA.
WHOA, WHOA!
957
00:45:15,914 --> 00:45:20,752
- [laughs]
958
00:45:20,786 --> 00:45:23,989
- CAPTAIN ASTRO.
959
00:45:51,950 --> 00:45:55,053
- WHO ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?
960
00:45:55,086 --> 00:45:57,923
- WHAT?
961
00:45:57,956 --> 00:46:01,993
- WHEN YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES,
WHO ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?
962
00:46:05,096 --> 00:46:08,033
- [giggles]
963
00:47:06,624 --> 00:47:09,627
- * BE STILL
964
00:47:09,660 --> 00:47:13,598
* WILL YOU CARRY ME?
965
00:47:13,631 --> 00:47:16,935
* OR WILL
966
00:47:16,968 --> 00:47:20,071
* WILL I CARRY YOU?
967
00:47:20,105 --> 00:47:23,942
* BE STILL
968
00:47:23,975 --> 00:47:27,012
* WITHOUT SINKING
969
00:47:27,045 --> 00:47:30,215
* BE STILL
970
00:47:30,248 --> 00:47:33,985
* JUST BREATHE
971
00:47:34,019 --> 00:47:37,956
* BE STILL
972
00:47:37,989 --> 00:47:41,359
* WITHOUT DROWNING
973
00:47:41,392 --> 00:47:44,529
* BE STILL
974
00:47:44,562 --> 00:47:48,934
* JUST BE
975
00:47:48,967 --> 00:47:56,908
*
976
00:48:04,049 --> 00:48:07,018
[dance music]
977
00:48:07,052 --> 00:48:15,026
*
978
00:48:50,161 --> 00:48:52,230
- * COME ON!
979
00:48:56,001 --> 00:49:00,171
* I WANT TO HEAR IT
980
00:49:00,205 --> 00:49:02,640
* LET'S GET SOAKING WET
65988
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