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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:18,163 Brad! 2 00:01:18,663 --> 00:01:19,998 - Bye, Daddy! - Bye, sweetie. 3 00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:22,250 Bye-bye, guys. I'll pick you up on Monday! 4 00:01:22,751 --> 00:01:24,919 - Brad! - What's up? 5 00:01:25,003 --> 00:01:27,005 Hey, Brad! Looking good, buddy! 6 00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:32,594 - Dylan, where's your retainer? - I left it at Dad's. 7 00:01:32,844 --> 00:01:34,137 Hey, where's your math workbook? 8 00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:35,764 At Mom's house. 9 00:01:36,598 --> 00:01:38,266 - Where are all your undies? - I don't know. 10 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,268 How do we got so many undies? 11 00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:43,438 Happy Birthday, buddy! 12 00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:46,608 Brad already got me one. 13 00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:48,067 It was my idea! 14 00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:49,444 It was my idea! 15 00:01:50,904 --> 00:01:52,280 Hey, look at that. 16 00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:53,531 Guys! 17 00:01:53,782 --> 00:01:54,866 Daddy! 18 00:01:58,745 --> 00:02:00,246 Oh! 19 00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:02,707 Megan, hold up! 20 00:02:04,542 --> 00:02:05,543 Whoa! 21 00:02:07,003 --> 00:02:08,046 Ahh! 22 00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:09,422 - Are you all right? - I'm okay. 23 00:02:14,093 --> 00:02:16,429 Right here! Don't... Don't leave without it. 24 00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:23,269 Come on! Keep it moving! 25 00:02:23,603 --> 00:02:25,522 Inside the cones! 26 00:02:25,605 --> 00:02:28,441 Inside the cones like an ice cream. Let's go! 27 00:02:28,608 --> 00:02:29,692 Braddie! 28 00:02:30,109 --> 00:02:31,611 Here you go, buddy. 29 00:02:31,694 --> 00:02:33,196 Oh. Thanks, Braddie. 30 00:02:33,279 --> 00:02:34,531 - Hot cocoa? - Yeah. 31 00:02:34,614 --> 00:02:36,491 Nice! Little marshmallows floating around there 32 00:02:36,574 --> 00:02:38,451 all in formation. You are the greatest! 33 00:02:38,618 --> 00:02:40,036 I put a little licorice root in there, too. 34 00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:41,287 - Oh! - Tell me what you think. 35 00:02:41,496 --> 00:02:42,914 - Hey, guys! - Daddies! 36 00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:45,750 - Hey! Hi, how was your day? - Good. 37 00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:47,752 All right, guys, hop in. 38 00:02:47,836 --> 00:02:49,921 I'll get them ready and I'll meet you at Tae Kwon Do. 39 00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:52,090 - See you in 30. - Great. Looking forward to it. 40 00:02:52,257 --> 00:02:53,591 - Bye. - Bye, Dad! 41 00:02:53,675 --> 00:02:55,009 Oh! 42 00:02:55,093 --> 00:02:56,427 - Dusty! - Yeah? 43 00:02:56,678 --> 00:02:58,346 Sorry. You made treats for tonight, right? 44 00:02:58,429 --> 00:02:59,472 No, I got the gift card. 45 00:02:59,556 --> 00:03:00,557 I thought you were on treats tonight. 46 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,350 No. I did gift card and the treats for 47 00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:03,852 the Halloween Spooktacular. 48 00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,645 Oh, okay. Well, I guess I'll hit the bakery 49 00:03:05,728 --> 00:03:06,771 - on the way to the pageant. - Bakery? 50 00:03:06,938 --> 00:03:08,106 Unless you don't want me to go to the bakery. 51 00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:09,649 Usually, when you repeat what I said 52 00:03:09,732 --> 00:03:10,775 and you shake your head up and down, 53 00:03:10,859 --> 00:03:11,943 it really means you don't want me to do it. 54 00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:13,194 - I'm just thinking... - What? 55 00:03:13,278 --> 00:03:14,612 Maybe homemade? 56 00:03:14,696 --> 00:03:17,115 Yeah. Hey! Honk at him again, you better count your teeth! 57 00:03:17,448 --> 00:03:19,534 No problem, Braddie. Homemade snickerdoodles 58 00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:20,702 coming right up. One for you, too. 59 00:03:20,952 --> 00:03:23,371 Should we fist bump again or would it be awkward? 60 00:03:23,580 --> 00:03:25,790 I don't mind a second bump. All right. 61 00:03:25,999 --> 00:03:27,125 Thanks, buddy. See you tonight. 62 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,293 Bye, mate. Thanks so much for the cocoa. 63 00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:29,460 Bye, Daddy! 64 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,171 Sorry. 65 00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:37,927 These look great. Thank you. 66 00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:39,470 - Look at that. - Oh... 67 00:03:39,637 --> 00:03:42,348 - Daddy! Karen! - Hey! Hey, guys. 68 00:03:42,432 --> 00:03:45,101 Wow, look how sexy Karen looks. 69 00:03:45,435 --> 00:03:47,186 Leather pants and side boob. 70 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:48,688 That's perfect for a school function. 71 00:03:48,855 --> 00:03:50,315 Honey, let's expect good things, okay? 72 00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:51,441 I know, you're right. Right. 73 00:03:51,649 --> 00:03:53,943 - Hey! How's it going? - Hey. 74 00:03:54,319 --> 00:03:55,361 - Hi. - Hi. 75 00:03:56,112 --> 00:03:57,780 Wow, look at you guys! 76 00:03:58,114 --> 00:03:59,782 You and Mommy are so sassy all the time. 77 00:03:59,866 --> 00:04:00,909 - Hi. - Hi. 78 00:04:00,992 --> 00:04:02,952 Oh, hey! I got your novel. 79 00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:05,455 - It's amazing! - Oh, I'm glad you like it. 80 00:04:05,622 --> 00:04:06,706 I don't know how you write 81 00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:07,999 such powerful dialogue. 82 00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:09,208 I mean, it must just come naturally, right? 83 00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,293 Aww. 84 00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:11,961 - Like everything else. - You're so sweet. 85 00:04:12,045 --> 00:04:13,046 - Are you guys ready? - Let's go. 86 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:15,965 I want my shirt like Adrianna's. 87 00:04:16,049 --> 00:04:18,343 Uh, no. No, no, no, honey. We're not doing that, okay? 88 00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:20,386 Put that back in. Look like a nice kid. 89 00:04:23,139 --> 00:04:25,475 Welcome to the One Horse Open Sing! 90 00:04:25,808 --> 00:04:27,977 Before we get started, notice we have 91 00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:31,648 several professional video and still photographers 92 00:04:31,856 --> 00:04:33,691 to cover all your kids for free. 93 00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:36,152 So you can all put your phones in your pockets, 94 00:04:36,486 --> 00:04:38,738 relax, and just be in the moment. 95 00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:41,783 You don't care. 96 00:04:42,659 --> 00:04:43,993 Dashing through the snow 97 00:04:44,077 --> 00:04:46,162 In a one-horse open sleigh 98 00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:49,958 O'er the fields we go Laughing all the way, hahaha 99 00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:53,962 Bells on bobtail ring Making spirits bright 100 00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:55,588 What fun it is to laugh and sing 101 00:04:55,672 --> 00:04:57,966 A sleighing song tonight 102 00:04:58,132 --> 00:05:00,134 ...eat candy Santas and smashed potatoes 103 00:05:00,218 --> 00:05:01,302 and dressing up my dog 104 00:05:01,636 --> 00:05:02,804 like a reindeer. 105 00:05:02,887 --> 00:05:04,138 That's what Christmas means to me. 106 00:05:04,389 --> 00:05:06,182 Thank you. 107 00:05:06,808 --> 00:05:09,310 And now we have Megan Mayron. 108 00:05:10,687 --> 00:05:12,188 My name is Megan Mayron, 109 00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:14,190 and I like Christmas presents a lot. 110 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:18,152 But I don't really like Christmas. 111 00:05:18,987 --> 00:05:20,822 My daddy was at my first Christmases, 112 00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:23,324 but I don't remember those ones. 113 00:05:23,658 --> 00:05:25,994 Then we had some with no daddy at all. 114 00:05:26,619 --> 00:05:27,829 Then Brad came, 115 00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:30,289 but he was always trying way too hard 116 00:05:30,623 --> 00:05:32,792 and making everyone feel uncomfortable. 117 00:05:33,126 --> 00:05:34,252 Then Daddy came back, 118 00:05:34,419 --> 00:05:36,004 and Brad did a pretend Christmas 119 00:05:36,087 --> 00:05:37,964 to show Daddy that Brad was better than him. 120 00:05:38,464 --> 00:05:40,591 So now we have to go to different houses 121 00:05:40,675 --> 00:05:42,051 to have different Christmases. 122 00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:43,928 Me and my brother wish we were like other families 123 00:05:44,012 --> 00:05:45,388 and we had normal Christmases. 124 00:05:45,555 --> 00:05:47,140 But we still like our Christmas presents. 125 00:05:47,473 --> 00:05:49,559 I want to be very clear about that. 126 00:05:49,642 --> 00:05:50,810 Thank you very much. 127 00:05:55,023 --> 00:05:57,025 Enjoy paying for therapy, boys! 128 00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:58,818 You better shut your mouth, Jerry! 129 00:05:58,901 --> 00:05:59,944 Absolutely, Dusty. 130 00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:04,157 We're messing up our kids, Brad, and it's on you. 131 00:06:04,657 --> 00:06:06,159 On me? Why is it on me? 132 00:06:06,325 --> 00:06:08,661 Because before you came around we only had one Christmas. 133 00:06:08,745 --> 00:06:10,246 So it's on you. 134 00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:11,372 Hold on, hold on. 135 00:06:11,456 --> 00:06:12,540 We don't have to circle the wagons 136 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:14,417 every time one of the kids expresses a negative emotion. 137 00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:15,710 They're fine. 138 00:06:15,877 --> 00:06:17,045 Kids that get up in front of whole schools 139 00:06:17,128 --> 00:06:19,088 and say they don't like Christmas aren't fine, Sara. 140 00:06:19,297 --> 00:06:21,716 Well, she said she didn't like having two Christmases. 141 00:06:21,883 --> 00:06:23,217 Which is on you. 142 00:06:23,384 --> 00:06:26,054 So what if we all spend a Christmas together? 143 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,972 A Together Christmas. That's good. 144 00:06:28,056 --> 00:06:29,640 Now you fixed it. See, that... 145 00:06:29,724 --> 00:06:31,059 Now it's off of you. 146 00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,560 Let's invite Adrianna's dad, too. 147 00:06:32,727 --> 00:06:33,728 - What? - Yes. 148 00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:34,979 Are you being serious right now? No! 149 00:06:35,146 --> 00:06:36,230 Put that hand down. 150 00:06:36,314 --> 00:06:37,607 I've been nothing but nice to that guy, 151 00:06:37,690 --> 00:06:39,067 and he treats me like I abducted his kid. 152 00:06:39,150 --> 00:06:40,151 I'm not doing that. 153 00:06:40,318 --> 00:06:41,569 Why are you messing up the mood now, all right? 154 00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:43,196 We wanna go tell the kids my great idea 155 00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:44,405 about the Together Christmas. 156 00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:46,074 Wait, how did it become your idea? 157 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,743 It was your idea, but I named it Together Christmas. 158 00:06:49,035 --> 00:06:50,870 People of Bikini Bottom... 159 00:06:51,329 --> 00:06:52,914 Hey, guys? 160 00:06:53,706 --> 00:06:56,209 Guys. Listen up, I got a surprise. 161 00:06:56,626 --> 00:06:57,794 Hello? 162 00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:03,466 - Guys. We got a big surprise! - A surprise? 163 00:07:03,633 --> 00:07:05,051 - Another pony? - A trampoline? 164 00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:06,135 You leaving? 165 00:07:06,219 --> 00:07:07,512 Not quite, okay? But, no, 166 00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:08,763 we got something better than that, okay? 167 00:07:08,930 --> 00:07:10,223 So much better. It's gonna be great. 168 00:07:10,306 --> 00:07:12,058 Guys, this year, no more back and forth at Christmas. 169 00:07:12,141 --> 00:07:13,810 - No back and forth. - Nope. I just said that. 170 00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:15,561 No more back and forth at Christmas. 171 00:07:15,645 --> 00:07:17,105 This year, we're gonna spend one Christmas 172 00:07:17,188 --> 00:07:18,731 - all together, all of us! - Yay! 173 00:07:18,815 --> 00:07:19,899 All of us. A Together Christmas! 174 00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:21,067 A Together Christmas! 175 00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:22,235 Can you be quiet? 176 00:07:22,318 --> 00:07:23,444 A Together Christmas like a normal family! 177 00:07:23,528 --> 00:07:24,570 Yay! 178 00:07:24,654 --> 00:07:25,696 I'll get it. 179 00:07:26,656 --> 00:07:27,907 Hello? 180 00:07:28,241 --> 00:07:29,575 Grandpa Kurt? 181 00:07:31,953 --> 00:07:33,579 Daddy, Grandpa Kurt wants to talk to you. 182 00:07:33,830 --> 00:07:35,373 No, no, no. Dusty, I'll just tell him... 183 00:07:35,456 --> 00:07:37,416 No. It's okay, Sara. 184 00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:39,001 Thank you. 185 00:07:39,836 --> 00:07:40,837 Thanks, buddy. 186 00:07:44,257 --> 00:07:45,591 What, Dad? 187 00:07:46,676 --> 00:07:48,010 Yeah, long time. 188 00:07:48,344 --> 00:07:49,679 No, I'm fine. 189 00:07:49,846 --> 00:07:51,597 - Tomorrow? - No. 190 00:07:51,764 --> 00:07:54,016 I could probably pick you up, I guess, but... 191 00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:55,852 Hey! Psst! Guess what? My folks are coming tomorrow. 192 00:07:55,935 --> 00:07:56,936 I don't care. 193 00:07:57,019 --> 00:07:59,105 - We can go together. - You shut up. 194 00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:03,526 Dad, do you want to just text... Hello? 195 00:08:08,406 --> 00:08:11,075 Dusty, listen to me, I think you're approaching this 196 00:08:11,159 --> 00:08:12,743 with way too much negative energy. 197 00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:13,995 Brad, you don't know what you're talking about, 198 00:08:14,078 --> 00:08:15,746 so shut your fat hole! 199 00:08:15,830 --> 00:08:17,665 Dusty. 200 00:08:17,874 --> 00:08:19,876 I'm sorry, Braddie. I'm sorry. 201 00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:21,544 You see what he does to me? 202 00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:22,712 He's not even here yet, 203 00:08:22,795 --> 00:08:23,963 and he's already ruining Christmas. 204 00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:26,132 - Okay, okay, relax. Relax. - I can't! 205 00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:29,385 Look, your father hasn't met the new evolved Dusty. 206 00:08:29,719 --> 00:08:32,555 You're a progressive, sensitive, child-first parent. 207 00:08:32,722 --> 00:08:33,806 That's exactly the stuff he's gonna 208 00:08:33,890 --> 00:08:34,974 make fun of us for. You'll see. 209 00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:37,560 He's gonna scoff at everything we do. He's a scoffer, Brad. 210 00:08:37,894 --> 00:08:39,520 Pepe, you have a grown son, right? 211 00:08:39,604 --> 00:08:40,646 Sí. 212 00:08:40,730 --> 00:08:43,399 Why don't you tell Dusty here how much your son means to you 213 00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:45,234 in this season of good cheer? 214 00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:49,906 My son is an abysmal disappointment whose birth I regret more each day. 215 00:08:49,989 --> 00:08:51,324 - You see? - He didn't say nice things 216 00:08:51,407 --> 00:08:52,491 like you think he did, Brad. 217 00:08:52,742 --> 00:08:54,035 Dusty, you're being silly. 218 00:08:54,118 --> 00:08:55,828 I mean, who wouldn't be impressed with you? 219 00:08:56,078 --> 00:08:57,788 Come on. 220 00:08:57,872 --> 00:08:58,998 Dear God! 221 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:04,921 He looks as if he's been chiseled 222 00:09:05,004 --> 00:09:06,339 from Gibraltar itself. 223 00:09:11,219 --> 00:09:14,055 This is gonna come off weird, Dusty, but he's beautiful! 224 00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:19,227 I want to be his friend so bad. 225 00:09:27,777 --> 00:09:29,445 - Dusty. - Hey, Pop. 226 00:09:29,695 --> 00:09:31,822 - How was your flight? - Not bad. 227 00:09:31,906 --> 00:09:34,200 Took 20 minutes to get to the gate though. 228 00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:36,244 What's with that bottleneck you got out there, huh? 229 00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:39,330 I'm sorry our local airport tarmac's 230 00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:40,539 not up to your standards, huh? 231 00:09:40,873 --> 00:09:43,584 I'm sorry. I didn't realize you designed this airport, 232 00:09:43,668 --> 00:09:45,044 or I'd have been more sensitive. 233 00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:47,296 Oh, I guess I'll move to a new town with a better airport 234 00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:48,506 that way you won't be inconvenienced 235 00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:49,966 when you show up every five years or so. 236 00:09:50,049 --> 00:09:52,551 Same old Mr. Touchy. I love it. 237 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,595 Here you go, Pancho. Why don't you bring the car around, 238 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:55,721 we'll meet you at the curb. 239 00:09:55,930 --> 00:09:57,014 Right away, sir. 240 00:09:57,223 --> 00:09:59,976 I mean, no, I'm sorry, I'm not the driver. 241 00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:01,394 No, I'm Brad. 242 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:02,561 The stepdad. 243 00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:04,647 - This is Sara's husband. - Why is he with you? 244 00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:07,066 Dad! 245 00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:12,363 That sweater! He wears the red sweater, 246 00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:13,489 so I can see him in a crowd. 247 00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:17,952 Dad! 248 00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:20,204 That's him, that's Dad. 249 00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:27,461 Dad! Dad! 250 00:10:37,138 --> 00:10:38,139 I made a sign! 251 00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:39,640 There's my big man! 252 00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:45,730 And this guy's raising your kids half the time? 253 00:10:45,938 --> 00:10:48,024 He hasn't seen his dad in a really long time. 254 00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:49,650 It's only been since Thanksgiving, 255 00:10:49,734 --> 00:10:51,068 but it feels like forever! 256 00:10:51,235 --> 00:10:52,611 - It does! - Oh! 257 00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:56,073 Four weeks? It's been a few years for us. 258 00:10:56,324 --> 00:10:58,826 What should we do? Want me to take my pants off? 259 00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:00,077 Hey, where's Mom? 260 00:11:00,328 --> 00:11:01,704 You didn't get her text? 261 00:11:01,787 --> 00:11:04,373 Uncle Arny came down with a bad case of the shingles. 262 00:11:04,457 --> 00:11:06,917 - Oh, no. - So Mom's staying back 263 00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:08,419 - to take care of him. - Okay. 264 00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:10,046 But, hey, you still got me. 265 00:11:10,546 --> 00:11:12,423 I sure do. I sure do! 266 00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:13,716 Oh! 267 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,218 We're gonna have the best time. 268 00:11:16,635 --> 00:11:18,220 Oh! Dusty! 269 00:11:18,763 --> 00:11:21,140 - Hey, Don. - Hey, Muscles, come here! 270 00:11:21,307 --> 00:11:23,893 I've got a cold. Stay away. Don, Don! 271 00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:27,063 Say, Dusty, Brad told me about this 272 00:11:27,146 --> 00:11:28,689 Together Christmas we're doing. 273 00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:32,735 You two are such wonderful, progressive co-dads. 274 00:11:32,902 --> 00:11:33,903 Co-dads? 275 00:11:34,070 --> 00:11:35,571 Oh, I'm so sorry. Mr. Mayron, 276 00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:36,822 this is my father, Don Whitaker. 277 00:11:36,906 --> 00:11:39,408 The pleasure is all mine, Captain! 278 00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:41,744 You piloted the Space Shuttle Atlantis 279 00:11:42,036 --> 00:11:44,747 in 1992 and commanded the Endeavour 280 00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:46,290 on three missions in 1994! 281 00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:48,292 All right, come on, we're out this way. 282 00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:50,002 Thanks, Dusty. 283 00:11:50,211 --> 00:11:51,754 Say, Kurt, did you meet 284 00:11:51,837 --> 00:11:53,547 any interesting folks on your flight? 285 00:11:53,798 --> 00:11:56,467 I met a Scotch and a pillow. 286 00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,844 You know, actually, I always pick the flights 287 00:11:58,928 --> 00:12:00,888 that have the most connections so that 288 00:12:01,222 --> 00:12:04,600 I get to chat with as many new people as possible. 289 00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:06,894 Oh, so you're a lunatic. Good to know. 290 00:12:07,144 --> 00:12:08,896 That's me! 291 00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:18,739 Looks like one of your neighbors 292 00:12:18,823 --> 00:12:20,491 is getting an oversized parcel. 293 00:12:21,117 --> 00:12:22,451 Hello! 294 00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:25,246 Don Whitaker, United States Postal Service! 295 00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:26,705 Retired, but never too old 296 00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:28,457 to lend a hand to a fellow carrier. 297 00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:30,334 Brad, I gotta tell you, 298 00:12:30,418 --> 00:12:32,128 this baby sure gives you a smooth ride. 299 00:12:32,378 --> 00:12:33,462 Oh, thank you, Kurt. 300 00:12:33,546 --> 00:12:35,756 Yeah, it is surprisingly responsive. 301 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:36,882 Brad, he's not... 302 00:12:36,966 --> 00:12:38,634 So do they take your balls right there at the dealership, 303 00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:40,052 or do you send them in with the registration? 304 00:12:40,136 --> 00:12:41,220 How does it work exactly? 305 00:12:41,387 --> 00:12:42,596 No, no, they didn't take my balls. 306 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:43,722 Just $2,000 down. 307 00:12:43,889 --> 00:12:46,058 This your place, Dusty? I pictured it nicer. 308 00:12:46,392 --> 00:12:47,685 Yeah, Dusty's house is nicer. 309 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:48,894 This is my house. Just thought 310 00:12:49,145 --> 00:12:51,105 you'd like to step in and see the kids. 311 00:12:51,272 --> 00:12:52,273 Only if it's okay. 312 00:12:52,356 --> 00:12:53,649 Look, we don't want to infringe on your days. 313 00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:55,734 Of course, don't be silly. Come on, guys. 314 00:12:56,068 --> 00:12:57,528 You got to ask another man's permission 315 00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:58,821 to see your own kids? 316 00:12:58,904 --> 00:13:01,073 Unbelievable. 317 00:13:02,241 --> 00:13:05,244 We're back! With more daddies! 318 00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:08,122 Hey! Look how big you two got! 319 00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:10,458 Come on. Don't I get a hug? Come on! 320 00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:13,544 And who's this barroom brawler? 321 00:13:13,711 --> 00:13:15,212 He's our brother, Griffy, silly. 322 00:13:15,463 --> 00:13:17,715 Hey, come here, pardner. Dusty, you never told me. 323 00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:20,384 - Why, he looks just like you. - Yeah, not my kid. 324 00:13:20,551 --> 00:13:22,136 Oh, no, no, no. I fathered that one. 325 00:13:22,553 --> 00:13:24,221 Oh. Ah, then how does he relate to me then? 326 00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:27,057 Well, he is the brother of your grandkids, Kurt. 327 00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:29,226 - Oh. Here, here. - Oh. Okay. 328 00:13:29,393 --> 00:13:31,061 Hey, looking good, Buttercup. 329 00:13:31,228 --> 00:13:32,563 Good to see you. 330 00:13:33,481 --> 00:13:35,900 - Look who's here! - Pop-Pop! 331 00:13:37,109 --> 00:13:38,819 - Tell us a Pop-Pop joke! - Ooh, ooh. 332 00:13:38,903 --> 00:13:40,821 What's a good one? Uh, why does a duck have feathers? 333 00:13:40,905 --> 00:13:41,906 Why? 334 00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:45,409 To cover up his butt quack. 335 00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:48,037 Hey, kids, I got a good one for you. 336 00:13:48,245 --> 00:13:49,330 Two dead hookers 337 00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:50,456 - wash up on the shore... - Hey, hey! 338 00:13:50,539 --> 00:13:52,208 - Whoa, whoa, shut up. - No way. No way. 339 00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:55,377 - Sara. How's my girl? - Hi! 340 00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:57,880 What, Ginny couldn't make it? 341 00:13:58,130 --> 00:13:59,256 Oh, she feels terrible. 342 00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:01,634 But she sent a batch of her special cookies! 343 00:14:02,051 --> 00:14:04,053 Is there milk in that kitchen? 344 00:14:04,136 --> 00:14:06,096 - Yay! - I want the first one. 345 00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:08,057 I get the first one! 346 00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:11,727 So he gets to be Pop-Pop and I'm just Grandpa Kurt? 347 00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,021 What? I'm in charge of the cutesy grandpa names now? 348 00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:15,189 Look, if you want a better name, 349 00:14:15,272 --> 00:14:16,357 maybe try showing up a little more often. 350 00:14:16,565 --> 00:14:19,485 Tell the kids, from now on, it's El Padre. 351 00:14:21,487 --> 00:14:22,905 No more hooker jokes. 352 00:14:25,241 --> 00:14:26,867 These don't taste like La-La's cookies. 353 00:14:26,951 --> 00:14:28,160 They taste like Chips Ahoys. 354 00:14:28,369 --> 00:14:30,704 No, no. I sat right there in the kitchen 355 00:14:30,788 --> 00:14:32,873 and watched Grandma bake them just yesterday. 356 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,041 I like them. 357 00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:37,044 So, this co-dads thing, is that what you call it? 358 00:14:37,545 --> 00:14:39,380 Yeah, that's what we call it. 359 00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:41,799 So, on his watch, he disciplines your kids, 360 00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,551 gives them advice, tucks them in, so forth 361 00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:44,718 and that bothers you not a bit? 362 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,053 Doesn't bother me at all. 363 00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:47,972 And his total lack of masculinity... 364 00:14:48,222 --> 00:14:49,431 I mean, his weak chin 365 00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:51,725 and soft underbelly influencing your son, 366 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,394 you're good there, too? Yeah? 367 00:14:53,561 --> 00:14:54,770 You know what? I'm just feeling like 368 00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,146 maybe you guys want a little privacy. 369 00:14:56,564 --> 00:14:57,898 Stay right there, Brad, all right? 370 00:14:57,982 --> 00:14:59,650 He's just trying to stir the turd. 371 00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,318 You can scoff all you want. 372 00:15:01,402 --> 00:15:02,570 Everything is rock solid 373 00:15:02,653 --> 00:15:04,321 between me and Brad here. In fact, 374 00:15:04,655 --> 00:15:07,366 - best friends. - Really? 375 00:15:07,575 --> 00:15:08,909 - Thank you. - Brad. Stop it. 376 00:15:09,243 --> 00:15:10,869 - I'm good. - Now. He gets 377 00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:12,121 really emotional. Brad. 378 00:15:12,538 --> 00:15:14,790 - Hey. Brother. - Did you call me "brother"? 379 00:15:15,124 --> 00:15:16,542 B-Dawg. Chill out, man. Relax. 380 00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:18,168 All right? Cut it out. 381 00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:20,296 - Brad, don't. - I know. 382 00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:22,798 Stop. All right, look. Hey. Brad, stop! 383 00:15:23,132 --> 00:15:25,968 Looks like you two guys have a real solid arrangement. 384 00:15:26,302 --> 00:15:28,304 You're spending Christmas together and everything. 385 00:15:28,387 --> 00:15:30,639 Speaking of which, whose place are we doing that at? 386 00:15:30,806 --> 00:15:32,808 We're totally happy to host if it makes it easier. 387 00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:34,476 Yeah, we could do it at my place. I got more room. 388 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,562 We can do presents at our place, dinner at yours. 389 00:15:36,729 --> 00:15:38,480 Nah, all that back and forth, who needs that? 390 00:15:38,564 --> 00:15:39,773 This place, that place. 391 00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:43,068 Why don't I book us a great vacation spot 392 00:15:43,402 --> 00:15:44,987 for all of us, and we can all spend 393 00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:46,322 the holiday week together? 394 00:15:46,572 --> 00:15:47,573 - Yay! Cool! - Thanks, El Padre. 395 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,701 I love this idea! 396 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:52,077 It's something extra Christmasy, 397 00:15:52,161 --> 00:15:55,289 with lots of snow and family activities for all of us. 398 00:15:55,539 --> 00:15:56,957 Dad, I'm just worried about finding a place, 399 00:15:57,041 --> 00:15:58,292 you know, this close to the holiday. 400 00:15:58,459 --> 00:16:01,128 Booked it! Airbnb. All done. 401 00:16:01,295 --> 00:16:02,963 Yay, El Padre! 402 00:16:03,297 --> 00:16:05,257 It's gonna be so fun, 403 00:16:05,341 --> 00:16:07,635 since we're all such great friends, huh? 404 00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:12,640 Off to the mountains. Here we go, Griffy. 405 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,475 - Here we go. - Big fun trip! 406 00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,310 Let me get that for you, Sara. 407 00:16:16,393 --> 00:16:17,728 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 408 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:19,480 You know, Dusty, I think you and Kurt 409 00:16:19,563 --> 00:16:21,482 spending some time around me and my dad might do 410 00:16:21,774 --> 00:16:23,150 you both some good. 411 00:16:23,317 --> 00:16:24,443 Hey, don't you see what he's up to here? 412 00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:25,694 He thinks you and me are harboring 413 00:16:25,778 --> 00:16:26,987 bad feelings for one another 414 00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:28,197 and sticking us together in some cabin 415 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:29,823 is gonna bring out whatever we're harboring. 416 00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:31,492 But you're not, are you, Brad? 417 00:16:31,659 --> 00:16:32,826 - I'm not what? - Harboring! 418 00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:33,911 No, I'm not harboring anything. 419 00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:35,037 Good, 'cause I'm not harboring anything either. 420 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,413 Okay, well, let's use this as an opportunity 421 00:16:36,497 --> 00:16:37,665 to show him that we're not harboring. 422 00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:38,791 'Cause we're not harboring. 423 00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:40,084 You're looking at one safe harbor right here. 424 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,210 All right, good. 425 00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:42,378 You sure you want to pack it like that? 426 00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:43,504 Is that how you're gonna do it? 427 00:16:43,587 --> 00:16:44,922 Look, me and Brad got everything under control 428 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,382 as a team, okay? Right, Brad? 429 00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:47,466 That's right. 430 00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:48,842 Yeah, what would I know about travel? 431 00:16:48,926 --> 00:16:50,219 I've only been to frickin' space. 432 00:16:50,469 --> 00:16:51,595 What, did you pack the space shuttle yourself? 433 00:16:51,679 --> 00:16:52,888 You pop the trunk, arrange all the bags 434 00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:54,056 for you and your little space friends? 435 00:16:54,223 --> 00:16:56,308 I did, as a matter of fact. Yes, I packed the shuttle. 436 00:16:58,143 --> 00:16:59,645 That's so cool! 437 00:16:59,937 --> 00:17:01,814 I love how you're always jotting down ideas 438 00:17:01,897 --> 00:17:03,691 for your book in your little notepad. 439 00:17:03,982 --> 00:17:05,275 People ever get crazy and think 440 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:06,902 you might be writing something bad about them? 441 00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:12,032 Say, uh, Brad, would you mind doing some 442 00:17:12,116 --> 00:17:14,451 "Yes, And" drills with me on the way? 443 00:17:14,618 --> 00:17:17,121 "Yes, And" thank you for asking me. 444 00:17:17,371 --> 00:17:20,124 I recently joined an improv comedy workshop. 445 00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:22,042 Brad's been pushing me to do it for years. 446 00:17:22,126 --> 00:17:23,627 Because you're so funny. 447 00:17:23,961 --> 00:17:25,003 Yeah, I enjoy it. 448 00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:26,130 You should look into it, too, Kurt. 449 00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:27,923 I'd rather look into a loaded gun. 450 00:17:28,132 --> 00:17:29,967 - Did you hear that? - Did you just make that up? 451 00:17:30,134 --> 00:17:31,885 - Zinger! - That's provocative, too. 452 00:17:32,136 --> 00:17:33,721 You ready to let me do that, Mr. Stubborn? 453 00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:35,472 - I got it. - It's never gonna fit. 454 00:17:35,723 --> 00:17:37,182 Hey, kids, no, no, no, no, 455 00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:39,977 why don't you jump into my car with Adrianna, all right? 456 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,437 So Grandpa Kurt here 457 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:44,481 can enjoy Pop-Pop's company on the way up. 458 00:17:44,648 --> 00:17:45,691 Already warmed up a spot 459 00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:47,067 in the capsule for you, Captain! 460 00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:49,236 Still never gonna fit. Ever. 461 00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:54,366 No, I got it. It's fitting fine. 462 00:17:54,450 --> 00:17:56,452 I just had to put it wheels-in. 463 00:18:00,205 --> 00:18:03,292 Perfect fit! All right, let's go. 464 00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:05,294 Hey, Adrianna, you know, when we're up there, 465 00:18:05,377 --> 00:18:06,462 I can teach you how to snowboard. 466 00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:08,005 You're not my dad. 467 00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,299 All right. It's gonna be a fun trip. 468 00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:17,473 It's time for One-Word Story. 469 00:18:17,639 --> 00:18:18,724 Anyone can join in, 470 00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:19,892 doesn't have to be just Dad and I. 471 00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:21,977 You always give us the best start. 472 00:18:22,144 --> 00:18:24,480 - Uncle... - ...Thomas... 473 00:18:24,688 --> 00:18:26,023 - ...went... - ...tiptoeing... 474 00:18:26,190 --> 00:18:27,316 ...into the... 475 00:18:27,483 --> 00:18:28,942 ...Empire State Building. 476 00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:31,820 Where were you going with that one? 477 00:18:31,987 --> 00:18:35,324 This all took place at the pancake breakfast! 478 00:18:35,616 --> 00:18:37,117 Fifty-six bottles of beer on the wall 479 00:18:37,201 --> 00:18:38,619 Fifty-six bottles of beer 480 00:18:39,036 --> 00:18:40,871 "G." Georgia, Georgia license plate! 481 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:42,790 Ready, and... Quiet Game. 482 00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:47,294 - I'm terrible at this game! - I can't do it! 483 00:18:47,628 --> 00:18:48,962 - I just can't do it. - I hate the Quiet Game! 484 00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:09,483 We always liked the Shimpahs. 485 00:19:09,817 --> 00:19:11,151 The movers thought the Shimpahs' house 486 00:19:11,235 --> 00:19:14,029 was our house and almost moved us in there! 487 00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:15,614 The wrong family! We would've been 488 00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:16,824 living with the Shimpahs! 489 00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,617 Which I wouldn't have minded, 490 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:21,453 'cause I had a huge crush on Vicky Shimpah. 491 00:19:22,663 --> 00:19:24,039 Oh, Dad, thank you. 492 00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:26,083 You make a five-hour trip go by like that! 493 00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:27,960 I just wanted everybody to have a good time. 494 00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:29,670 Nothing like a nice, relaxing road trip, huh, Dad? 495 00:19:29,837 --> 00:19:31,046 Ah, it was nothing. 496 00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:33,340 I've been in a confined space with a chimp. 497 00:19:50,858 --> 00:19:53,902 Dylan's got a girlfriend! 498 00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,487 No, I don't! Be quiet! 499 00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:56,738 Yeah, you love her. 500 00:19:56,822 --> 00:19:58,657 You want to buy her flowers and kiss her on the lips. 501 00:19:58,824 --> 00:20:00,492 Stop it! It's not funny! 502 00:20:00,659 --> 00:20:02,286 Megan! What did I say 503 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:03,579 about teasing your brother about girls? 504 00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:05,330 She's still doing it. And she drilled him 505 00:20:05,414 --> 00:20:06,707 in the head with a snowball too. 506 00:20:06,874 --> 00:20:08,667 Well, I'm not her mother. 507 00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:10,168 Now, go take your brother inside, 508 00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:11,336 please. Go on, sweetie. 509 00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:12,504 Come on, Griffy. 510 00:20:12,671 --> 00:20:15,007 So Dylan's started noticing the girls, huh? 511 00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:17,384 You know, I think it's gonna be time to give him the talk. 512 00:20:18,677 --> 00:20:21,346 The talk? You mean the talk about the nitty-gritty? 513 00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:23,181 - The "nitty-gritty"? - I'm on it, Sar-Bear. 514 00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,808 I've been looking forward to this for a long time. 515 00:20:24,892 --> 00:20:26,268 I got a whole speech prepared, all right? 516 00:20:26,435 --> 00:20:27,769 It's all heartwarming stuff. 517 00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:30,147 I'm sure you and Brad will do a bang-up job with that. 518 00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:33,233 Unless, uh, this isn't a co-dadding moment? 519 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,985 - No. - No. 520 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,738 - I mean, no, of course it is. - It is. 521 00:20:37,905 --> 00:20:39,156 - Yeah, it is. It's gonna be. - Okay, yeah. 522 00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:40,324 Yeah, we're gonna talk to him together. 523 00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:43,410 Oh, Dusty! I read about some gender-neutral flashcards. 524 00:20:43,911 --> 00:20:45,245 - Flashcards. - Uh-huh. 525 00:20:45,329 --> 00:20:47,497 He's got flashcards to teach your son how to score. 526 00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:48,874 No, of course not. 527 00:20:48,957 --> 00:20:51,501 They cover human reproduction, puberty, and hygiene. 528 00:20:51,668 --> 00:20:53,670 Okay, great. You tee it up with the flashcards, 529 00:20:54,171 --> 00:20:55,631 and I'll knock it home with the heartwarming speech. 530 00:20:55,714 --> 00:20:56,840 All right? We got this. 531 00:20:57,007 --> 00:20:58,008 You're all set. 532 00:20:58,175 --> 00:20:59,384 I'll never forget when 533 00:20:59,468 --> 00:21:02,429 Brad first started asking questions about girls. 534 00:21:02,596 --> 00:21:04,890 I took him out for "the talk." 535 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:08,101 He was so inquisitive and attentive. 536 00:21:08,769 --> 00:21:11,313 Then I dropped him back off at his dorm. 537 00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:12,397 Yeah... 538 00:21:13,065 --> 00:21:14,399 Well, come on in. 539 00:21:19,321 --> 00:21:20,405 Hey, look, there's a game room! 540 00:21:20,489 --> 00:21:22,324 - Wow. Adrianna, look. - And a pool table! 541 00:21:23,158 --> 00:21:24,159 This is what I'm talking about. 542 00:21:24,242 --> 00:21:25,327 Look at that view! 543 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,288 Look at all the mortise and tenon joinery! 544 00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:29,665 Sittin' fat. 545 00:21:29,831 --> 00:21:31,458 Your old man sure pulled the right rein 546 00:21:31,541 --> 00:21:32,668 getting this place. 547 00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:34,878 Oh, wow. I know. Better throw you a parade, huh? 548 00:21:34,962 --> 00:21:37,464 Oh, I am really looking forward to that. 549 00:21:37,547 --> 00:21:39,007 Well, you want the thank yous printed on the bass drums 550 00:21:39,091 --> 00:21:40,467 or the sousaphone covers? 551 00:21:40,634 --> 00:21:42,803 Hey, did anyone bring my bag in? 552 00:21:46,056 --> 00:21:48,058 My supervisor Clyde Unix... 553 00:21:48,225 --> 00:21:51,228 He took over after Kirby Keller retired in '86. 554 00:21:51,395 --> 00:21:54,064 Horse farm, upper peninsula of Michigan. 555 00:21:54,231 --> 00:21:56,316 Gorgeous country, if you ever get the chance. 556 00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:01,321 Wow. 557 00:22:01,989 --> 00:22:03,323 Nice shower. 558 00:22:04,992 --> 00:22:06,410 That's weird. 559 00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:08,912 No controls. 560 00:22:09,997 --> 00:22:11,999 Hey, honey, how do you turn the shower on? 561 00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:13,834 Shower on. 562 00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:15,669 Off! Shower off! 563 00:22:15,836 --> 00:22:17,337 Shower off. 564 00:22:17,713 --> 00:22:19,840 Gosh! Ooh! 565 00:22:20,507 --> 00:22:22,592 Voice-activated water. Cool. 566 00:22:22,801 --> 00:22:24,761 Water cool. 567 00:22:24,845 --> 00:22:27,014 - Off! Shower off! - Shower off. 568 00:22:27,431 --> 00:22:29,099 - Water... Cool... - Water. Shower cool. 569 00:22:29,266 --> 00:22:30,934 - Cool the water. - Water cool. 570 00:22:31,727 --> 00:22:33,895 Water off! Turn off! 571 00:22:34,980 --> 00:22:36,231 Off. 572 00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:37,691 Oh, my God! 573 00:22:39,317 --> 00:22:40,360 Oh! 574 00:22:40,444 --> 00:22:42,612 You scored on yourself. Friendly fire. 575 00:22:42,779 --> 00:22:44,197 Eight ball, corner pocket. 576 00:22:44,281 --> 00:22:45,782 - Ooh! No slashing. - Yeah. 577 00:22:45,949 --> 00:22:47,701 - Good job, babe. - Thank you, babe. 578 00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:50,954 Come on, Sara! 579 00:22:51,288 --> 00:22:52,873 No, that is holding. 580 00:22:56,918 --> 00:22:58,295 It's too loud, Dylan! Turn it down! 581 00:22:58,378 --> 00:22:59,421 I don't know how! 582 00:22:59,504 --> 00:23:01,131 Hey, hey, hey, turn that down! 583 00:23:01,465 --> 00:23:03,050 Griffy's asleep. 584 00:23:06,303 --> 00:23:08,138 Why are you dressed like a woman, Brad? 585 00:23:08,305 --> 00:23:09,347 Oh, I can't find my stuff. 586 00:23:09,431 --> 00:23:11,141 Are you sure you got my bag to fit in the car? 587 00:23:11,308 --> 00:23:12,642 Yeah, of course. It fit perfect. 588 00:23:12,809 --> 00:23:14,811 Look, can we skip this one? I can't stand this song. 589 00:23:15,020 --> 00:23:17,939 - Skip it. Skip it, guys. - Oh, no, no, no! No, Sara. 590 00:23:18,106 --> 00:23:19,608 This is a great song. 591 00:23:20,108 --> 00:23:22,194 This is my real dad's favorite Christmas song. 592 00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:24,071 Yeah, well, I'm glad it makes him happy. 593 00:23:24,446 --> 00:23:25,864 You think I don't want to like this song? 594 00:23:25,947 --> 00:23:27,032 Of course I want to, 595 00:23:27,115 --> 00:23:28,450 - it's a super uplifting song. - Yeah. 596 00:23:28,658 --> 00:23:29,993 But he ruined it for me. 597 00:23:30,452 --> 00:23:31,787 What are you talking about? 598 00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:33,288 All right, so I'm 12 years old, 599 00:23:33,371 --> 00:23:34,456 and I join the Glee Club. 600 00:23:34,706 --> 00:23:35,707 Glee Club. 601 00:23:35,874 --> 00:23:37,000 All my buddies in the neighborhood, 602 00:23:37,084 --> 00:23:38,293 they gave me crap over it, 603 00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:39,836 but I don't care, because for the holiday pageant 604 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,296 we're doing Do They Know It's Christmas?, 605 00:23:41,463 --> 00:23:43,882 and I was determined to land that Bono part. 606 00:23:44,132 --> 00:23:48,470 There's a world outside your window 607 00:23:48,804 --> 00:23:52,641 And it's a world of dread and fear 608 00:23:52,974 --> 00:23:56,478 Where the only water flowing is... 609 00:23:56,728 --> 00:23:57,979 So my buddy Derrick Lindmeyer 610 00:23:58,063 --> 00:23:59,564 is laying into the Sting part, 611 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,275 when out in the audience, what do I see? 612 00:24:02,776 --> 00:24:05,195 My dad giving Scotty Kimball's mom a foot rub, 613 00:24:05,278 --> 00:24:06,488 not even paying attention! 614 00:24:11,243 --> 00:24:12,744 I totally missed the Bono part, 615 00:24:12,828 --> 00:24:14,371 and everybody made fun of me. 616 00:24:18,291 --> 00:24:21,920 And there won't be snow in Africa 617 00:24:22,003 --> 00:24:23,296 this Christmastime... 618 00:24:24,381 --> 00:24:26,091 I got no recollection of that. 619 00:24:26,174 --> 00:24:27,175 Yeah, well, I do, all right? 620 00:24:27,259 --> 00:24:28,718 And I got a lot of other stories just like it. 621 00:24:28,885 --> 00:24:29,886 Science Fair, you left with 622 00:24:29,970 --> 00:24:31,096 Brian Higby's mom. 623 00:24:31,179 --> 00:24:32,681 Little League regionals, you left with Mark Fitzgerald's 624 00:24:32,764 --> 00:24:33,932 mom and his aunt! 625 00:24:34,099 --> 00:24:35,934 Oh, yeah, now that I remember. 626 00:24:36,184 --> 00:24:37,602 Yeah, yeah. That went into extra innings. 627 00:24:37,686 --> 00:24:38,854 Know what I mean, kid? 628 00:24:39,020 --> 00:24:40,355 - No. - Ah. 629 00:24:40,814 --> 00:24:41,898 Nice. 630 00:24:45,902 --> 00:24:48,071 Dusty! Dusty! Come on. 631 00:24:48,238 --> 00:24:50,574 He's gonna ruin Christmas, Brad, I'm telling you. 632 00:24:50,740 --> 00:24:52,826 Look, I hate to hit you with the tough love, 633 00:24:52,993 --> 00:24:55,245 but the only person who can ruin your Christmas 634 00:24:55,912 --> 00:24:58,582 is looking back at you from that mirror. 635 00:25:00,333 --> 00:25:02,002 - All I see is you, Brad. - Oh. 636 00:25:02,252 --> 00:25:04,087 Okay. Well, sorry. Here. Here. 637 00:25:05,338 --> 00:25:06,339 There. There we go. 638 00:25:06,965 --> 00:25:08,466 - Still you, Brad. - Is it? 639 00:25:08,633 --> 00:25:09,718 - Yeah, it's still you. - Oh. 640 00:25:10,010 --> 00:25:12,679 Okay, well, look, I'm looking at you, so I meant you. 641 00:25:12,846 --> 00:25:14,222 Well, I'm looking at you, so I see you. 642 00:25:14,306 --> 00:25:15,348 Forget the mirror. 643 00:25:15,432 --> 00:25:17,350 You're the only one who can ruin your Christmas. 644 00:25:17,517 --> 00:25:18,518 Don't look at the mirror! 645 00:25:18,602 --> 00:25:20,020 I'm still looking at you if I look in the mirror. 646 00:25:20,187 --> 00:25:22,314 Don't worry about the mirror. That was bad. 647 00:25:22,397 --> 00:25:23,690 - Forget the mirror exists. - Okay. 648 00:25:23,982 --> 00:25:25,734 Let's just focus on those kids 649 00:25:25,817 --> 00:25:27,652 and giving them a better childhood than you had. 650 00:25:29,571 --> 00:25:30,655 - You're right. - Yeah? 651 00:25:30,739 --> 00:25:31,740 It's about them. 652 00:25:31,823 --> 00:25:32,908 It's about giving them a better Christmas. 653 00:25:32,991 --> 00:25:34,034 There you go. 654 00:25:34,117 --> 00:25:35,118 Yeah, and then we jam that amazing Christmas 655 00:25:35,202 --> 00:25:36,203 right in his butthole! 656 00:25:36,369 --> 00:25:38,330 Yes, we do. Wait! Whoa, whoa! No. 657 00:25:38,496 --> 00:25:39,497 Yes! 658 00:25:39,998 --> 00:25:42,000 You know, Dusty, I'm, uh, just gonna take the mirror down. 659 00:25:42,083 --> 00:25:43,710 Then we don't have to worry about it. 660 00:25:46,379 --> 00:25:47,380 Yeah! 661 00:25:48,173 --> 00:25:49,674 - Here we go. - Here we go. 662 00:25:49,925 --> 00:25:51,676 Hey, where's your glove? 663 00:25:53,386 --> 00:25:55,222 No! Griffy! 664 00:25:56,681 --> 00:25:57,682 Excuse me. 665 00:26:00,393 --> 00:26:01,478 Griffy! 666 00:26:03,104 --> 00:26:04,397 Griffy! Hey! 667 00:26:05,232 --> 00:26:06,566 Griffy! 668 00:26:07,067 --> 00:26:08,568 Griffy! 669 00:26:09,236 --> 00:26:10,904 Watch out, honey! 670 00:26:16,701 --> 00:26:18,995 Is that Brad? 671 00:26:21,831 --> 00:26:23,583 - That's Brad! - That's Brad. 672 00:26:25,502 --> 00:26:27,754 That boy never... 673 00:26:27,837 --> 00:26:29,506 Hey, come here. Look at this. 674 00:26:35,553 --> 00:26:37,847 Mmm. Honey. 675 00:26:37,931 --> 00:26:40,433 - Oh. - Ow! 676 00:26:42,936 --> 00:26:44,354 Dusty, you like that, huh? 677 00:26:47,107 --> 00:26:49,150 Let me capture this for posterity. 678 00:26:53,321 --> 00:26:55,490 The Nativity is a big deal in Terre Haute. 679 00:26:55,657 --> 00:26:58,410 This is the Redeemer, this is Abundant Life. 680 00:26:58,493 --> 00:26:59,494 Dad. 681 00:26:59,828 --> 00:27:02,289 Let's go, Pop-Pop. 682 00:27:07,168 --> 00:27:09,170 - It's real pretty. - We'll take the pretty gun. 683 00:27:09,379 --> 00:27:11,464 No. No, no, no, no. 684 00:27:12,007 --> 00:27:13,133 We're not gonna take that today 685 00:27:13,216 --> 00:27:15,176 'cause we are a gun-free family. 686 00:27:15,343 --> 00:27:18,346 Good Lord. What has he turned you into? 687 00:27:25,770 --> 00:27:27,355 - Ahh! - Ha-ha! 688 00:27:28,356 --> 00:27:29,858 All right, throw it down! 689 00:27:30,025 --> 00:27:32,027 All right, here it comes, Braddie! 690 00:27:38,742 --> 00:27:39,784 Brad! 691 00:27:46,166 --> 00:27:47,334 Hey, honey! 692 00:27:47,667 --> 00:27:49,002 Brad! Brad! 693 00:27:49,461 --> 00:27:51,546 You need a hat. You're gonna freeze, babe. 694 00:27:51,755 --> 00:27:53,131 Oh, thanks, sweetie. 695 00:27:53,214 --> 00:27:54,758 You look cute. 696 00:27:54,841 --> 00:27:57,594 Hey, I want to talk to you. I'm worried about your dad. 697 00:27:57,677 --> 00:27:59,554 Don't you think he seems 698 00:27:59,637 --> 00:28:01,097 slightly less chatty than normal? 699 00:28:01,264 --> 00:28:03,600 You got to be shitting me. 700 00:28:03,683 --> 00:28:05,685 I mean, he shows up here without your mom? 701 00:28:05,852 --> 00:28:08,021 Don't you think that's weird? There might be a problem? 702 00:28:08,188 --> 00:28:09,397 With my mom and dad's relationship? 703 00:28:09,481 --> 00:28:10,523 Yeah! 704 00:28:10,690 --> 00:28:13,276 What? They love each other more than we do! 705 00:28:13,610 --> 00:28:14,694 Yeah. 706 00:28:14,903 --> 00:28:16,237 I brought you your hat! 707 00:28:16,613 --> 00:28:18,365 No, honey, I didn't mean it that way. 708 00:28:18,448 --> 00:28:20,241 It's a huge compliment. Come on. 709 00:28:20,325 --> 00:28:21,368 You got to understand. 710 00:28:21,534 --> 00:28:23,286 Brad! The Christmas lights! 711 00:28:24,412 --> 00:28:26,581 No, no, no, no. 712 00:28:26,956 --> 00:28:28,708 All the light strands are connected. 713 00:28:28,792 --> 00:28:30,210 A terrible idea! 714 00:28:34,089 --> 00:28:35,548 None of these switches work! 715 00:28:37,759 --> 00:28:39,552 Heads up. 716 00:28:40,095 --> 00:28:42,263 Dad! What are these levers for? 717 00:28:42,514 --> 00:28:43,556 Ow! 718 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,266 - Sara! - Stand clear! 719 00:28:45,350 --> 00:28:47,018 Brad! 720 00:28:52,107 --> 00:28:53,483 Brad, let it go! 721 00:28:53,566 --> 00:28:55,026 I don't want it to hit your car. 722 00:28:55,193 --> 00:28:57,362 Let it go! 723 00:28:59,072 --> 00:29:00,907 - Tell him to let it go. - Let it go! 724 00:29:11,126 --> 00:29:12,460 Are you all right? 725 00:29:14,087 --> 00:29:16,673 Look what you did to the side of my car, man. 726 00:29:21,094 --> 00:29:23,012 Dusty, I'm so sorry. 727 00:29:23,388 --> 00:29:25,181 Honey! 728 00:29:30,437 --> 00:29:32,439 I'm not putting that Santy Claus back up there. 729 00:29:32,605 --> 00:29:34,941 I don't want to put it back on the roof, either. 730 00:29:35,567 --> 00:29:37,402 Why didn't he let go? 731 00:29:37,735 --> 00:29:39,904 Because he's an idiot! 732 00:29:52,375 --> 00:29:53,918 Son of a... 733 00:30:01,342 --> 00:30:02,343 Don. 734 00:30:03,178 --> 00:30:04,179 Don. 735 00:30:04,345 --> 00:30:06,181 Don, wake up. Don! 736 00:30:07,265 --> 00:30:09,058 Don, wake up! Don! Don! 737 00:30:11,686 --> 00:30:15,190 Kurt, are you okay? Did you have a bad dream? 738 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:16,774 Do you need to talk? 739 00:30:16,941 --> 00:30:19,277 Yeah, I need to be held. My heart hurts. No! 740 00:30:19,611 --> 00:30:21,946 Did you touch the thermostat? Did you turn it up? 741 00:30:22,113 --> 00:30:23,531 Well, of course not. 742 00:30:23,698 --> 00:30:25,241 Did somebody fiddle with the thermostat? 743 00:30:25,325 --> 00:30:26,367 Yes! It's 85 degrees. 744 00:30:26,534 --> 00:30:28,995 85! Do you have any idea how much 745 00:30:29,078 --> 00:30:31,039 even a few degrees can impact the gas bill? 746 00:30:31,206 --> 00:30:32,916 Of course I do! It's unthinkable. 747 00:30:33,082 --> 00:30:35,668 Dad? Kurt? What's going on in here? 748 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:37,086 Why is it so hot? 749 00:30:37,170 --> 00:30:38,796 Someone fiddled with the thermostat! 750 00:30:39,005 --> 00:30:41,132 What? Who would do that? 751 00:30:48,348 --> 00:30:50,183 What do you think you're doing? 752 00:30:50,391 --> 00:30:51,726 It's roasting in here! 753 00:30:51,935 --> 00:30:53,853 I like to sleep with my window open. 754 00:30:54,020 --> 00:30:55,021 Hey, kid. 755 00:30:55,230 --> 00:30:56,731 Are you allowed to touch the thermostat 756 00:30:56,814 --> 00:30:57,899 at your mom's house? 757 00:30:58,149 --> 00:30:59,859 Duh. 758 00:31:03,112 --> 00:31:04,364 What is going on? 759 00:31:04,864 --> 00:31:07,033 Adrianna! She turned up the thermostat! 760 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,077 Said she fiddles with the thermostat at your place 761 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:10,703 any time she damn well pleases. 762 00:31:10,995 --> 00:31:13,414 Dusty, is that true? Tell me that's not true. 763 00:31:14,791 --> 00:31:16,125 Oh, criminy, Dusty! 764 00:31:16,292 --> 00:31:17,627 You might as well give her your wallet 765 00:31:17,710 --> 00:31:19,045 and your 401 while you're at it! 766 00:31:19,128 --> 00:31:20,213 Brad, do you let the kids 767 00:31:20,296 --> 00:31:21,422 touch the thermostat at your house? 768 00:31:21,506 --> 00:31:24,842 What? No! The thermostat is a sacred covenant. 769 00:31:25,009 --> 00:31:27,387 I can't believe we're even talking about this! 770 00:31:27,470 --> 00:31:28,638 This is madness! 771 00:31:28,805 --> 00:31:30,765 Oh, God, even Brad's got his house in order. 772 00:31:30,932 --> 00:31:32,267 Hey, you got no right to talk, all right? 773 00:31:32,433 --> 00:31:34,060 It wasn't hard to keep me away from the thermostat 774 00:31:34,143 --> 00:31:35,353 once you shipped me off to military school. 775 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:36,521 Kurt, you didn't. 776 00:31:36,604 --> 00:31:37,689 He was out of control. He was a bedwetter. 777 00:31:37,855 --> 00:31:39,607 I was a bedwetter. Were you a bedwetter? 778 00:31:39,691 --> 00:31:40,942 I was four years old! 779 00:31:41,109 --> 00:31:42,735 Okay, everyone take it easy. 780 00:31:42,944 --> 00:31:44,404 It's not Dusty's fault 781 00:31:44,487 --> 00:31:45,947 that he lets Adrianna walk all over him. 782 00:31:46,114 --> 00:31:47,991 She does not walk all over me! 783 00:31:48,157 --> 00:31:49,909 I can see how being a stepdad, 784 00:31:50,076 --> 00:31:52,453 you might not feel empowered to discipline 785 00:31:52,537 --> 00:31:54,038 someone else's child. 786 00:31:54,122 --> 00:31:55,790 Hey, quit your scoffing, all right? 787 00:31:55,957 --> 00:31:57,625 And you two quit helping me. 788 00:31:57,792 --> 00:32:01,129 Look, Karen and Roger spoil her to no end. 789 00:32:01,421 --> 00:32:03,256 It's crazy! 790 00:32:03,464 --> 00:32:05,216 And there's nothing you can do. I get it! 791 00:32:05,300 --> 00:32:07,594 You're the stepdad. You're screwed. 792 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:09,429 That kid's never gonna respect you 793 00:32:09,512 --> 00:32:11,055 unless you bring the hammer down. 794 00:32:20,231 --> 00:32:22,275 What the hell was that, Brad? 795 00:32:22,358 --> 00:32:24,527 I know. He's old school. 796 00:32:24,694 --> 00:32:26,696 I think you handled this really well, Brad. 797 00:32:26,779 --> 00:32:28,615 I'm so proud of the way you express yourself. 798 00:32:29,532 --> 00:32:30,533 Come here. 799 00:32:31,451 --> 00:32:32,952 Again? Really? 800 00:32:34,787 --> 00:32:36,122 Good night, Dusty! 801 00:32:36,289 --> 00:32:38,666 - Good night, Dad. - Good night, Brad. 802 00:32:57,894 --> 00:32:59,729 - Jump! Jump! - Come on, Griff. 803 00:33:00,063 --> 00:33:01,564 Jumpy, jumpy, jumpy! 804 00:33:02,148 --> 00:33:03,232 Casey's here! 805 00:33:03,650 --> 00:33:04,651 Hey, guys. 806 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:06,361 Hey. 807 00:33:06,611 --> 00:33:08,404 Hey, Dylan, look. Casey's here. 808 00:33:08,488 --> 00:33:09,530 You want to come French her? 809 00:33:09,864 --> 00:33:12,617 Yeah, you want to go do French on your girlfriend, Dylan? 810 00:33:12,784 --> 00:33:14,786 Megan! Leave him alone. 811 00:33:15,119 --> 00:33:17,205 And where did you learn "do French"? 812 00:33:17,372 --> 00:33:18,706 I'll go talk to him. 813 00:33:21,584 --> 00:33:24,003 Dylan? You okay, buddy? 814 00:33:27,173 --> 00:33:29,759 I just... I don't get the whole girls thing. 815 00:33:30,093 --> 00:33:31,094 Oh. 816 00:33:31,302 --> 00:33:33,638 Girls, yeah. Yeah, that can be tricky. 817 00:33:34,013 --> 00:33:35,390 But you know who'd be really good 818 00:33:35,473 --> 00:33:36,683 in explaining that department? 819 00:33:36,849 --> 00:33:38,601 Your dad. Let me go grab him. 820 00:33:38,768 --> 00:33:40,645 No, Brad! I just want to talk to you about this. 821 00:33:40,728 --> 00:33:41,729 Just you, Brad, please? 822 00:33:41,896 --> 00:33:43,898 Me? You sure you don't want to talk to your dad? 823 00:33:45,191 --> 00:33:47,276 Oh, well, girls. Okay. 824 00:33:47,610 --> 00:33:49,445 Huh. Um... 825 00:33:49,779 --> 00:33:51,864 All right, the girl talk. Um... 826 00:33:52,198 --> 00:33:54,367 You know, boys have a... 827 00:33:54,867 --> 00:33:56,494 A dingle, right? 828 00:33:56,577 --> 00:33:57,829 And girls have a hoo-hoo or a whim-wham. 829 00:33:57,912 --> 00:33:58,955 Brad, I already know about that stuff. 830 00:33:59,038 --> 00:34:00,039 You do? 831 00:34:00,123 --> 00:34:01,124 Yes. From school, and it's gross. 832 00:34:01,207 --> 00:34:02,208 Perfect! 833 00:34:02,291 --> 00:34:04,585 I just want to know what to do if I, you know, 834 00:34:04,752 --> 00:34:06,087 I like somebody. 835 00:34:06,254 --> 00:34:07,296 Oh. Right, well... 836 00:34:08,256 --> 00:34:10,007 You want to become her friend first. 837 00:34:10,174 --> 00:34:12,343 You want to be that one that she confides in, 838 00:34:12,510 --> 00:34:14,220 that she tells you about all of her problems 839 00:34:14,303 --> 00:34:15,596 with the guys she's actually dating. 840 00:34:15,763 --> 00:34:16,889 Got it. 841 00:34:16,973 --> 00:34:18,433 It's called the Friend Zone. 842 00:34:18,516 --> 00:34:21,644 And it's where we Whitaker men thrive. 843 00:34:22,186 --> 00:34:25,022 We're the best in the biz. Yeah. 844 00:34:25,189 --> 00:34:27,358 Here we are in a wild frontier, 845 00:34:27,442 --> 00:34:28,943 full of majestic pines, 846 00:34:29,152 --> 00:34:30,945 and you two numbnuts are sorting through 847 00:34:31,028 --> 00:34:33,489 a bunch of dried twigs on a Rite Aid parking lot. 848 00:34:33,573 --> 00:34:34,657 You just can't go out on public land 849 00:34:34,741 --> 00:34:35,783 and cut down a tree, Dad. 850 00:34:35,867 --> 00:34:38,494 Dusty, we are the public. We own those trees. 851 00:34:40,788 --> 00:34:43,458 Oh, I get it. You need to ask co-dad for permission. 852 00:34:43,624 --> 00:34:45,376 Oh, shut up. I know what you're trying to do. 853 00:34:45,543 --> 00:34:46,627 What am I doing? 854 00:34:46,794 --> 00:34:47,879 Make it look like I can't make a move 855 00:34:47,962 --> 00:34:49,088 without checking in with Brad first. 856 00:34:49,255 --> 00:34:51,799 Yeah, that's what I'm doing. Am I right about that, huh? 857 00:34:52,008 --> 00:34:53,843 Oh, God. 858 00:34:57,513 --> 00:35:00,183 And we own the paint in the Friend Zone. 859 00:35:00,516 --> 00:35:02,685 And sure we're gonna lose some. Doesn't matter. 860 00:35:02,852 --> 00:35:04,520 We're gonna lose a lot, I'll be frank with you. 861 00:35:04,687 --> 00:35:06,105 Well, what do you know? 862 00:35:06,189 --> 00:35:08,858 Brad's having that nitty-gritty talk for you. 863 00:35:09,358 --> 00:35:10,651 Must be nice to have someone 864 00:35:10,735 --> 00:35:12,195 to handle the tough stuff, huh? 865 00:35:12,528 --> 00:35:14,530 And eventually you'll keep in touch. 866 00:35:14,697 --> 00:35:16,699 You might even be invited to their wedding! 867 00:35:17,116 --> 00:35:19,243 And their dad's like, "Brad, what are you doing here? 868 00:35:19,327 --> 00:35:21,454 "Teresa never talks about you!" 869 00:35:21,704 --> 00:35:23,414 And you're like, "I'm invited." 870 00:35:23,498 --> 00:35:25,625 And he's like, "I wonder about that." 871 00:35:25,792 --> 00:35:27,460 And you show them the proof! 872 00:35:27,543 --> 00:35:29,212 Always bring the wedding invite with you. 873 00:35:29,504 --> 00:35:31,506 - Then they can't kick you out. - Okay. 874 00:35:31,672 --> 00:35:32,757 But you'll be sad ultimately 875 00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,092 knowing that she's not with you, and 876 00:35:35,384 --> 00:35:36,552 you want to prepare yourself 877 00:35:36,636 --> 00:35:38,554 with, like, a mixtape of sad songs. 878 00:35:38,763 --> 00:35:41,599 Anything from Chicago is usually pretty good. 879 00:35:42,099 --> 00:35:44,310 If you leave me now 880 00:35:44,769 --> 00:35:48,773 You take away the biggest part of me 881 00:35:49,106 --> 00:35:50,316 I don't really know that song. 882 00:35:50,900 --> 00:35:54,737 Ooh-wee, no, baby, please don't go 883 00:35:55,530 --> 00:35:57,698 Wait! No, no, no! Dylan, 884 00:35:58,449 --> 00:36:00,076 that is the worst advice anyone could give you. 885 00:36:00,159 --> 00:36:01,452 Listen to your dad, please. 886 00:36:01,786 --> 00:36:02,829 It's okay, Dad. 887 00:36:02,912 --> 00:36:04,205 We don't have to talk about it. 888 00:36:04,372 --> 00:36:06,207 No, no, buddy, buddy, wait, wait, look! 889 00:36:06,374 --> 00:36:07,792 Hey, this stuff is all about confidence. 890 00:36:07,875 --> 00:36:09,043 You just got to believe you're the best 891 00:36:09,126 --> 00:36:10,211 she's ever gonna find. 892 00:36:10,294 --> 00:36:11,504 You believe that to your core, 893 00:36:11,587 --> 00:36:13,047 and she will, too, I promise you. 894 00:36:13,256 --> 00:36:14,298 But what if she doesn't? 895 00:36:14,382 --> 00:36:16,509 Whoa, buddy, you can't be afraid of rejection. 896 00:36:16,676 --> 00:36:18,135 You'll never find love if you're too scared 897 00:36:18,219 --> 00:36:19,512 to put yourself out there. 898 00:36:19,846 --> 00:36:21,013 Hey, Goggles? 899 00:36:21,180 --> 00:36:22,306 Mistletoe is your ticket. 900 00:36:22,390 --> 00:36:23,474 You walk right up to her, 901 00:36:23,558 --> 00:36:24,851 you dangle this over her head, 902 00:36:25,017 --> 00:36:26,060 and then you slap 903 00:36:26,143 --> 00:36:27,436 your spaghetti suckers right on her. 904 00:36:27,603 --> 00:36:28,855 I don't know if that's appropriate. 905 00:36:29,021 --> 00:36:30,439 It's a time-honored holiday tradition, 906 00:36:30,523 --> 00:36:31,649 Mr. War-On-Christmas. 907 00:36:32,108 --> 00:36:34,068 Then you give her a nice smack on the caboose 908 00:36:34,151 --> 00:36:35,778 and tell her what a lucky girl she is. 909 00:36:35,862 --> 00:36:36,863 Don't listen to that part, all right? 910 00:36:36,946 --> 00:36:38,030 Yeah, don't listen to that part. 911 00:36:38,197 --> 00:36:39,198 Look at me. Look at me. 912 00:36:39,365 --> 00:36:40,658 You want to be like Brad and be in the Friend Zone, 913 00:36:40,741 --> 00:36:42,034 or you wanna be like Dad and get in the end zone? 914 00:36:42,201 --> 00:36:43,744 This worked for me when I was your age. 915 00:36:43,828 --> 00:36:44,871 You want to go for it, buddy? 916 00:36:46,706 --> 00:36:48,165 Come on, you can do this. 917 00:36:48,499 --> 00:36:53,504 A love like ours is love that's hard to find 918 00:36:56,757 --> 00:36:59,760 How could we let it slip away? 919 00:37:00,261 --> 00:37:02,346 No! I like Brad's way more. 920 00:37:02,513 --> 00:37:05,516 I just want to be her friend and listen to her problems! 921 00:37:13,232 --> 00:37:15,568 My tree, my tree, my tree, my tree. 922 00:37:16,110 --> 00:37:17,236 My tree, my tree. 923 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:18,321 Can I yell "Timber"? 924 00:37:18,404 --> 00:37:20,281 - Sure can, sweetheart. - Yay! 925 00:37:20,364 --> 00:37:21,532 Is this okay? 926 00:37:21,616 --> 00:37:24,035 Are any of these trees even gonna fit in the cabin? 927 00:37:24,201 --> 00:37:25,828 We're gonna cut off the top 25 feet 928 00:37:25,912 --> 00:37:27,914 and chop the rest up for firewood, Don. 929 00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:29,123 Oh. 930 00:37:29,206 --> 00:37:31,167 Now, this is the Duster Buster I remember. 931 00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:34,629 A certified badass that makes his own rules! Whoa. 932 00:37:35,129 --> 00:37:37,131 Go find a good tree, would you? 933 00:37:38,466 --> 00:37:40,718 Boy, I don't know about this, Kurt. 934 00:37:40,801 --> 00:37:43,137 Isn't it illegal to harvest a tree from public lands? 935 00:37:43,304 --> 00:37:45,431 Oh, hell, yeah. It's a federal crime. 936 00:37:45,598 --> 00:37:46,766 I tried to talk him out of it, 937 00:37:46,849 --> 00:37:48,768 but you know how stubborn that kid can be. 938 00:37:48,851 --> 00:37:49,852 Okay. 939 00:37:50,436 --> 00:37:52,563 Dusty, look, I know you're upset about Dylan, 940 00:37:52,647 --> 00:37:53,689 but I just... 941 00:37:53,940 --> 00:37:55,566 I told you, Brad, I'm not upset, all right? 942 00:37:55,650 --> 00:37:56,859 We're co-dads! 943 00:37:57,026 --> 00:37:58,444 If he prefers your terrible advice, 944 00:37:58,527 --> 00:37:59,612 fine, I'm cool with that. 945 00:37:59,779 --> 00:38:00,821 I just want to find the perfect 946 00:38:00,905 --> 00:38:01,948 Together Christmas tree. 947 00:38:02,031 --> 00:38:03,032 Well, I just don't know if 948 00:38:03,115 --> 00:38:04,158 it's the best choice, you know? 949 00:38:04,325 --> 00:38:05,493 Well, maybe we're not always gonna do 950 00:38:05,576 --> 00:38:07,411 everything your way every time. 951 00:38:07,703 --> 00:38:09,038 Trouble in paradise, fellas? 952 00:38:09,205 --> 00:38:11,207 - No, we're picking a tree. - Just having a conversation. 953 00:38:11,707 --> 00:38:14,043 El Padre! 954 00:38:14,460 --> 00:38:15,461 Lookit! 955 00:38:15,628 --> 00:38:17,630 Hey, what, kids? What, you find a dead squirrel? 956 00:38:18,047 --> 00:38:19,840 We don't have to do things my way. 957 00:38:19,924 --> 00:38:20,967 - Really? - Yeah. 958 00:38:21,050 --> 00:38:22,051 What about baseball snack? 959 00:38:22,134 --> 00:38:23,511 I just wanted to give out Fruit Roll-Ups, 960 00:38:23,594 --> 00:38:24,637 and what's the big deal? 961 00:38:24,804 --> 00:38:26,973 No, I just feel like organic fruit is much more nutritious 962 00:38:27,056 --> 00:38:28,432 than its rolled-up counterpart. 963 00:38:28,599 --> 00:38:29,600 - Yeah? - Yeah. 964 00:38:29,684 --> 00:38:30,768 And what about Megan's diorama? 965 00:38:30,851 --> 00:38:31,852 You didn't want to use any of my ideas. 966 00:38:32,061 --> 00:38:33,729 Your only idea was the Bay of Pigs! 967 00:38:33,896 --> 00:38:34,897 But it's an important event 968 00:38:34,981 --> 00:38:36,065 - in our nation's history! - It was bloody. 969 00:38:36,232 --> 00:38:37,525 You wanted her to do green energy 970 00:38:37,608 --> 00:38:39,151 so you could look like Mr. Perfect Dad. 971 00:38:39,318 --> 00:38:41,570 - I'm not Mr. Perfect Dad. - You act like Mr. Perfect Dad. 972 00:38:41,737 --> 00:38:42,822 I'm not Mr. Perfect Dad. 973 00:38:42,905 --> 00:38:44,073 And we don't have to do things my way. 974 00:38:44,240 --> 00:38:45,658 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 975 00:38:47,410 --> 00:38:49,745 Okay. You don't think I can operate a chainsaw, do you? 976 00:38:50,246 --> 00:38:53,582 Guess who got his woodlands management badge in Webelos. 977 00:38:53,916 --> 00:38:55,918 I did! Brad Whitaker. 978 00:38:57,503 --> 00:38:58,504 Ah! 979 00:38:59,255 --> 00:39:02,675 Dusty, look at this one. Perfectly symmetrical. 980 00:39:03,134 --> 00:39:04,135 Okay. 981 00:39:07,513 --> 00:39:08,848 Oh, yeah. 982 00:39:09,098 --> 00:39:11,017 Keep an eye out for rangers! 983 00:39:11,308 --> 00:39:14,562 I've got to pinpoint a 60 degree angle top cut. 984 00:39:15,479 --> 00:39:17,481 That's what I'm gonna do first. 985 00:39:18,983 --> 00:39:21,152 Oh, yeah! She's cutting like butter! 986 00:39:22,528 --> 00:39:24,113 Hey, Brad, isn't that a... 987 00:39:34,248 --> 00:39:35,499 Hold it, hold it! 988 00:39:36,542 --> 00:39:38,044 Timber! 989 00:39:39,712 --> 00:39:42,048 Wow! 990 00:39:42,381 --> 00:39:44,175 Brad, you cut down a cell phone tower. 991 00:39:44,258 --> 00:39:46,719 Why'd you cut down a cell phone tower? 992 00:39:46,802 --> 00:39:48,512 No bars? No bars? 993 00:39:51,807 --> 00:39:53,225 - That was excellent! - Get up. 994 00:39:53,392 --> 00:39:54,393 You really stuck that landing, man. 995 00:39:54,477 --> 00:39:55,478 Would you get up? 996 00:39:55,561 --> 00:39:57,063 I'd give you a 9.2 on my card. 997 00:39:57,146 --> 00:39:58,147 Brad, get up. 998 00:39:58,314 --> 00:39:59,315 I think Brad's dead again. 999 00:39:59,398 --> 00:40:01,108 Oh, man, you killed the poor bastard! 1000 00:40:01,525 --> 00:40:03,194 Brad, don't go into the light! 1001 00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:05,529 It's okay, sweetheart. El Padre will bring him back. 1002 00:40:05,613 --> 00:40:07,031 - Stand clear. - I got it, all right? 1003 00:40:07,114 --> 00:40:08,407 It's your fault we're even out here. 1004 00:40:08,491 --> 00:40:09,575 You're getting in our heads 1005 00:40:09,658 --> 00:40:10,659 and starting static between me and Brad. 1006 00:40:10,743 --> 00:40:12,119 There's plenty of static 1007 00:40:12,203 --> 00:40:13,662 between you and Brad already. 1008 00:40:13,829 --> 00:40:14,830 And you know what? Deep down, 1009 00:40:14,914 --> 00:40:16,415 you want him dead, don't you? 1010 00:40:16,582 --> 00:40:17,583 You can say it. 1011 00:40:17,666 --> 00:40:18,918 We all want him dead. I want him dead. 1012 00:40:19,001 --> 00:40:20,252 - Everybody does. - What? 1013 00:40:20,503 --> 00:40:21,504 Come on, admit it. 1014 00:40:21,670 --> 00:40:23,714 Why don't you admit why you invited yourself to Christmas? 1015 00:40:23,881 --> 00:40:25,341 Oh, well, why don't you tell me, smart guy? 1016 00:40:25,508 --> 00:40:27,051 'Cause you knew I was back here trying to be a good dad, 1017 00:40:27,134 --> 00:40:28,844 be around for my kids the way you never were for me. 1018 00:40:28,928 --> 00:40:30,721 That's why you want to crap all over it. 1019 00:40:30,888 --> 00:40:32,014 Get up, Brad! 1020 00:40:33,682 --> 00:40:35,184 Oh, my God, what happened? 1021 00:40:35,351 --> 00:40:37,019 You cut down a cell phone tower, Brad. 1022 00:40:37,186 --> 00:40:38,687 You know, you're right. 1023 00:40:38,771 --> 00:40:40,106 I did invite myself to Christmas. 1024 00:40:40,898 --> 00:40:42,566 But that's because you never do. 1025 00:40:45,277 --> 00:40:47,530 I feel like I died again. Did I die again? 1026 00:40:47,696 --> 00:40:49,031 A little bit. Come on. 1027 00:40:52,576 --> 00:40:54,578 Okay. Our report's all squared away. 1028 00:40:54,745 --> 00:40:56,455 Yimmy, Bill, thank you guys so much 1029 00:40:56,539 --> 00:40:57,748 for the understanding. We really appreciate it. 1030 00:40:57,915 --> 00:41:00,084 I'm so sorry. I'm truly embarrassed. 1031 00:41:00,251 --> 00:41:02,378 No, hey. It was an honest mistake. 1032 00:41:02,461 --> 00:41:03,504 Okay, you're all set. 1033 00:41:03,754 --> 00:41:05,381 Okay, we'd better get back to the site 1034 00:41:05,464 --> 00:41:06,507 and lock it down. 1035 00:41:06,674 --> 00:41:09,009 Hold on one second. 1036 00:41:09,468 --> 00:41:12,304 Is there any way we could do better than $20,000? 1037 00:41:12,471 --> 00:41:14,807 Can't you reuse some of the antenna equipment? 1038 00:41:15,141 --> 00:41:18,686 Sorry, no. These old 4G units are obsolete already. 1039 00:41:18,853 --> 00:41:20,521 That's why you're getting this one so cheap! 1040 00:41:20,604 --> 00:41:21,772 It looks really nice, though. 1041 00:41:21,939 --> 00:41:23,357 It sure does. Hey, guys, keep it up, 1042 00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:25,025 it looks great. Happy Holidays. 1043 00:41:25,192 --> 00:41:26,694 Happy Christmas, guys. Thanks. 1044 00:41:26,861 --> 00:41:28,195 Please tell me you did not just spend 1045 00:41:28,279 --> 00:41:29,947 $20,000 on a Christmas tree? 1046 00:41:30,281 --> 00:41:32,867 $20,000. "Can you hear me now?" 1047 00:41:33,742 --> 00:41:35,327 You want some eggnog? 1048 00:41:38,414 --> 00:41:39,748 - Mmm, yummy. - Hey! 1049 00:41:39,999 --> 00:41:41,750 - I want some! - Me, too! 1050 00:41:41,917 --> 00:41:43,419 Now, girls, that's a grown-up drink. 1051 00:41:43,669 --> 00:41:45,337 Yes. Thank you, Karen. 1052 00:41:45,588 --> 00:41:47,214 So we're only gonna have one. 1053 00:41:47,339 --> 00:41:48,340 What? No, no, no! 1054 00:41:48,507 --> 00:41:50,509 There's rum in there, so not any. 1055 00:41:50,718 --> 00:41:52,052 Aw! 1056 00:41:53,470 --> 00:41:54,972 Are you writing about me? 1057 00:41:55,431 --> 00:41:56,515 All right. Somebody want to plug her in? 1058 00:41:56,599 --> 00:41:58,267 Yeah, I got it. 1059 00:41:59,894 --> 00:42:00,895 Cool! 1060 00:42:02,146 --> 00:42:03,480 That's weird. 1061 00:42:06,609 --> 00:42:07,943 Wow! 1062 00:42:23,292 --> 00:42:24,376 What do you think? 1063 00:42:25,794 --> 00:42:27,129 It's so pretty. 1064 00:42:27,296 --> 00:42:29,882 Well, it ought to be at 1,200 bucks a foot. 1065 00:42:30,049 --> 00:42:32,051 Dad, we're lighting the tree! 1066 00:42:32,301 --> 00:42:33,719 - Where's my dad? - Yeah, I thought it was 1067 00:42:33,802 --> 00:42:35,012 a little quiet around here. 1068 00:42:35,387 --> 00:42:37,389 - Pop-Pop? Pop-Pop? - Don? 1069 00:42:39,058 --> 00:42:40,976 Is he still outside? 1070 00:42:43,729 --> 00:42:45,231 Dad! 1071 00:42:46,482 --> 00:42:47,816 Dad? 1072 00:42:48,859 --> 00:42:49,944 Dad? 1073 00:42:50,653 --> 00:42:51,987 Brad! 1074 00:42:52,154 --> 00:42:53,989 Dad! Where are you? 1075 00:42:54,156 --> 00:42:56,283 - I found him! Where are you? - I don't know. 1076 00:42:56,492 --> 00:42:58,160 - Are you hurt? - Oh, no, no! 1077 00:42:58,369 --> 00:43:00,955 No, I just can't quite get up. 1078 00:43:01,538 --> 00:43:02,623 Oh! 1079 00:43:02,873 --> 00:43:04,250 Dad, don't move. 1080 00:43:04,333 --> 00:43:05,542 There's a pack of wolves on you. 1081 00:43:06,085 --> 00:43:07,920 - Oh, is that what it is? - Yeah. 1082 00:43:08,254 --> 00:43:10,422 I can feel something tugging at my trousers. 1083 00:43:10,589 --> 00:43:13,133 - What color are they, Brad? - They're gray wolves. 1084 00:43:13,300 --> 00:43:15,386 That'll be Canis lupus. They're dangerous. 1085 00:43:15,552 --> 00:43:16,720 Really? They look like you could 1086 00:43:16,804 --> 00:43:17,846 just reach out and pet them. 1087 00:43:18,013 --> 00:43:19,348 I kind of want to pet them, Dad. 1088 00:43:19,515 --> 00:43:22,059 Now, Brad. Don't make eye contact with the alpha wolf. 1089 00:43:22,226 --> 00:43:24,353 I already did! Right in the eyes. 1090 00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,021 Don't show any fear. 1091 00:43:26,188 --> 00:43:28,148 I don't want to watch the wolves eat you! 1092 00:43:28,315 --> 00:43:30,150 Breathe deep and pull yourself together. 1093 00:43:30,317 --> 00:43:31,568 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 1094 00:43:31,735 --> 00:43:32,736 Hut! 1095 00:43:34,989 --> 00:43:36,657 Hut! Hurt! 1096 00:43:36,991 --> 00:43:38,659 Are you saying "hut" or "hurt"? 1097 00:43:38,826 --> 00:43:39,827 Dad, what happened? 1098 00:43:39,994 --> 00:43:42,371 Oh, you know, I saw the nicest tree 1099 00:43:42,454 --> 00:43:43,664 a ways off, and 1100 00:43:43,831 --> 00:43:45,666 I got a little off course. 1101 00:43:45,833 --> 00:43:47,459 I tried to call you, but all of a sudden 1102 00:43:47,543 --> 00:43:48,585 my signal dropped! 1103 00:43:48,669 --> 00:43:49,670 Really? 1104 00:43:49,753 --> 00:43:51,755 I tried to find my way back, but 1105 00:43:52,047 --> 00:43:53,799 at some point I lost consciousness. 1106 00:43:53,882 --> 00:43:57,052 That's about when the wolves must have come across me. 1107 00:43:57,386 --> 00:43:58,387 It's all right, fellas. 1108 00:43:58,470 --> 00:44:00,889 You didn't have to go to any trouble. It's all good. 1109 00:44:06,562 --> 00:44:08,981 I'm sorry for all the hugs. 1110 00:44:09,315 --> 00:44:11,025 I kind of don't want to let go. 1111 00:44:11,108 --> 00:44:13,027 I almost thought I'd lost you out there 1112 00:44:13,110 --> 00:44:14,320 to those nasty wolves. 1113 00:44:14,486 --> 00:44:16,488 Do you have any idea how much I love you? 1114 00:44:16,655 --> 00:44:19,825 Well, of course I do. You tweet about it every day. 1115 00:44:19,992 --> 00:44:22,161 You know how much I love you, too, don't you? 1116 00:44:22,578 --> 00:44:25,080 Your answer is right in here. 1117 00:44:25,914 --> 00:44:27,249 I can see it! 1118 00:44:28,459 --> 00:44:30,961 Okay, now that everyone is accounted for, 1119 00:44:31,295 --> 00:44:33,213 can we please talk about who is paying 1120 00:44:33,297 --> 00:44:34,631 for that monstrosity? 1121 00:44:34,965 --> 00:44:37,634 Well, you know, it was Dusty's idea to cut down the tree. 1122 00:44:37,801 --> 00:44:38,802 Yeah, and it was your idea 1123 00:44:38,886 --> 00:44:40,220 to cut down the cell phone tower, Brad. 1124 00:44:40,387 --> 00:44:42,556 Great, so as per usual we get stuck paying. 1125 00:44:42,723 --> 00:44:44,975 - Wait, what does that mean? - I think it's a nice tree. 1126 00:44:45,142 --> 00:44:46,894 I don't know. Dylan's retainer? Megan's flute? 1127 00:44:47,061 --> 00:44:48,937 What about Tae Kwon Do that you signed them up for 1128 00:44:49,021 --> 00:44:50,230 and didn't even ask us about? 1129 00:44:50,397 --> 00:44:52,733 Yes, and who paid for the trip to the aquarium last week? 1130 00:44:52,816 --> 00:44:54,109 It's a really nice tree. 1131 00:44:54,193 --> 00:44:55,194 So now we're keeping score, huh? 1132 00:44:55,277 --> 00:44:56,278 Well, who paid for the parking 1133 00:44:56,362 --> 00:44:57,946 and bought each one of them a blowup orca? 1134 00:44:58,113 --> 00:45:00,074 After we told them they couldn't have a blowup orca! 1135 00:45:00,199 --> 00:45:01,200 Yeah, because you were too cheap 1136 00:45:01,283 --> 00:45:02,284 to buy them a blowup orca! 1137 00:45:02,368 --> 00:45:04,453 Who crushed my car with a snow blower? You did, Brad. 1138 00:45:04,620 --> 00:45:05,871 Who crushed my car with a motorcycle? 1139 00:45:05,954 --> 00:45:06,997 Hello! You again! 1140 00:45:07,081 --> 00:45:08,082 Hey! 1141 00:45:08,165 --> 00:45:09,500 It's a beautiful tree! 1142 00:45:09,833 --> 00:45:11,627 It's beautiful, all right? 1143 00:45:11,710 --> 00:45:13,003 Okay, yeah. 1144 00:45:13,087 --> 00:45:14,296 Dad's right. 1145 00:45:15,297 --> 00:45:16,799 It's a beautiful tree. 1146 00:45:19,051 --> 00:45:20,052 Whoa! 1147 00:45:20,761 --> 00:45:22,179 Don, I'm sorry, I don't think 1148 00:45:22,262 --> 00:45:23,347 I'm gonna be able to save the foot. 1149 00:45:23,514 --> 00:45:24,515 Yeah, that baby's coming off. 1150 00:45:24,598 --> 00:45:26,350 I'll need some morphine and a bread knife. 1151 00:45:26,517 --> 00:45:27,851 Brad, hold him down. 1152 00:45:28,018 --> 00:45:30,145 Oh, no. That's just my feet. 1153 00:45:30,312 --> 00:45:32,231 It's the mail carrier's curse. 1154 00:45:32,398 --> 00:45:34,650 Back when I used to sleep with your mom, 1155 00:45:34,817 --> 00:45:37,027 I once scratched her leg so bad 1156 00:45:37,111 --> 00:45:38,779 with a piece of rogue heel skin, 1157 00:45:38,946 --> 00:45:40,614 it actually drew blood. 1158 00:45:40,781 --> 00:45:43,033 What do you mean, used to sleep with Ginny? 1159 00:45:43,325 --> 00:45:44,326 What? 1160 00:45:45,536 --> 00:45:48,205 Oh. We sleep in separate bedrooms. 1161 00:45:48,372 --> 00:45:50,791 You know how badly I snore, Brad. 1162 00:45:51,291 --> 00:45:53,210 Boy, that is inspiring! 1163 00:45:53,502 --> 00:45:55,003 You know? The way you're always 1164 00:45:55,087 --> 00:45:57,423 so considerate to the other person. 1165 00:45:58,173 --> 00:45:59,174 Ugh. 1166 00:45:59,758 --> 00:46:01,844 I really want to take this foot off. 1167 00:46:11,228 --> 00:46:12,229 Hey, sweetie. 1168 00:46:12,563 --> 00:46:14,064 You know, you might want to close your window. 1169 00:46:14,148 --> 00:46:15,315 You know, since it's winter? 1170 00:46:15,482 --> 00:46:16,483 You're not my dad. 1171 00:46:16,650 --> 00:46:17,901 You know, I appreciate you reminding me of that 1172 00:46:17,985 --> 00:46:19,236 every few hours. 1173 00:46:19,403 --> 00:46:20,654 But, you know, we're not the only people here, 1174 00:46:20,737 --> 00:46:23,323 so maybe we set the thermostat to like 75? 1175 00:46:23,449 --> 00:46:25,242 I mean, that's still really toasty, right? 1176 00:46:25,325 --> 00:46:26,326 85. 1177 00:46:26,660 --> 00:46:27,744 Okay, well, 1178 00:46:27,911 --> 00:46:29,913 what if I counter you at like 78? 1179 00:46:30,038 --> 00:46:31,206 And then you negotiate with me, you come back 1180 00:46:31,290 --> 00:46:33,792 at like 83, and then maybe we settle at like 80. 1181 00:46:33,876 --> 00:46:35,335 - What do you say to that? - 81. 1182 00:46:35,419 --> 00:46:36,420 Deal! 1183 00:46:36,587 --> 00:46:38,172 Look at that. The two of us are starting to see 1184 00:46:38,255 --> 00:46:39,256 eye to eye. 1185 00:46:39,506 --> 00:46:40,674 Thank you, sweetie. 1186 00:46:40,966 --> 00:46:42,050 Oh, thank God. 1187 00:46:42,342 --> 00:46:44,386 Oh, there's Brad with some makeup cocoa 1188 00:46:44,470 --> 00:46:46,472 for being such a jerk. Thank you. 1189 00:46:47,139 --> 00:46:49,141 - Brad! What are you doing? - Oh, God. 1190 00:46:50,934 --> 00:46:51,977 Why would you do that? 1191 00:46:52,060 --> 00:46:53,061 Look what you made me do! 1192 00:46:53,228 --> 00:46:54,229 - I didn't do anything. - I didn't make you do it! 1193 00:46:54,313 --> 00:46:55,647 I thought you were bringing me hot makeup cocoa 1194 00:46:55,731 --> 00:46:56,899 and you just, like, threw it all over yourself. 1195 00:46:57,065 --> 00:46:58,275 You almost burned me, Brad! 1196 00:46:58,358 --> 00:46:59,735 I wasn't bringing you makeup cocoa. 1197 00:46:59,902 --> 00:47:00,986 Why not? 1198 00:47:01,069 --> 00:47:02,237 I would've said, "Here, bud, some makeup cocoa." 1199 00:47:02,362 --> 00:47:03,363 I've been waiting for my makeup cocoa. 1200 00:47:03,447 --> 00:47:04,448 I didn't know that! 1201 00:47:04,615 --> 00:47:06,909 If I knew you wanted makeup cocoa, I would've... 1202 00:47:07,242 --> 00:47:08,243 81! 1203 00:47:08,410 --> 00:47:09,495 No, no, don't touch that! 1204 00:47:09,578 --> 00:47:10,579 I talked her down from the high 80s. 1205 00:47:10,662 --> 00:47:12,331 I'm making progress with her. This is good. 1206 00:47:12,498 --> 00:47:13,665 Oh, I thought you had your house in order. 1207 00:47:13,749 --> 00:47:15,000 Look, don't you see? 1208 00:47:15,167 --> 00:47:16,502 We're doing exactly what he wants. 1209 00:47:16,585 --> 00:47:17,836 We're letting things out of the harbor! 1210 00:47:17,961 --> 00:47:18,962 - So you are harboring. - Of course I'm harboring! 1211 00:47:19,046 --> 00:47:20,047 And so are you. 1212 00:47:20,214 --> 00:47:21,215 Harboring was working just fine 1213 00:47:21,298 --> 00:47:22,508 before he showed up. 1214 00:47:22,674 --> 00:47:24,051 Let's get everything back in the harbor 1215 00:47:24,134 --> 00:47:26,428 and let's harbor it all back in and close up the harbor. 1216 00:47:26,595 --> 00:47:27,930 I don't know if I can! 1217 00:47:28,096 --> 00:47:29,598 Remember you said let's put the focus back on the kids? 1218 00:47:29,681 --> 00:47:31,475 That was a great idea! 1219 00:47:32,309 --> 00:47:34,561 Fine. Harbor's closed. 1220 00:47:34,645 --> 00:47:35,646 Good. 1221 00:47:35,729 --> 00:47:37,481 But we're going halfsies on the cell tower. 1222 00:47:37,564 --> 00:47:39,149 Fine, halfsies on the cell tower. 1223 00:47:39,316 --> 00:47:41,318 Brad, are you okay? 1224 00:47:42,319 --> 00:47:43,320 Yeah. 1225 00:47:43,487 --> 00:47:46,031 - Did you make tee-tee in bed? - No, it's cocoa. 1226 00:47:46,198 --> 00:47:48,033 Did your cocoa make you tee-tee in bed? 1227 00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:49,743 You're sleepwalking. Go back to sleep. 1228 00:47:49,826 --> 00:47:52,287 The big boy doesn't have to be embarrassed. 1229 00:47:54,915 --> 00:47:56,750 How would I pee upwards? 1230 00:48:01,380 --> 00:48:02,714 72. 13. 1/ 1231 00:48:11,098 --> 00:48:12,099 - Pretty good. - Yeah. 1232 00:48:12,266 --> 00:48:13,475 Better than before. 1233 00:48:13,559 --> 00:48:14,935 Yeah, the skip was really cool. 1234 00:48:16,645 --> 00:48:19,064 Hey. Do you mind? Bowler's etiquette. 1235 00:48:19,231 --> 00:48:21,233 - What do you mean? - It means you're crowding me. 1236 00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:23,068 What? You can't bowl with me here? 1237 00:48:26,780 --> 00:48:28,031 That sounded like a strike. 1238 00:48:34,580 --> 00:48:35,914 How's your hearing? 1239 00:48:37,416 --> 00:48:39,251 - Dylan, come on, you're up! - All right. 1240 00:48:39,418 --> 00:48:41,253 Let's go. Hey, come on. You can do this, okay? 1241 00:48:42,212 --> 00:48:44,631 Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's with the kiddie stuff? 1242 00:48:44,798 --> 00:48:46,008 - What? The rails? - Yeah. 1243 00:48:46,091 --> 00:48:47,801 It's how the kids learn how to bowl, Dad. 1244 00:48:47,968 --> 00:48:49,678 You learn by fearing the gutter. 1245 00:48:49,761 --> 00:48:50,887 Like in life, Dusty. 1246 00:48:51,054 --> 00:48:53,265 Now, Kurt. The rails help a young bowler 1247 00:48:53,348 --> 00:48:54,891 build a positive self-image. 1248 00:48:55,225 --> 00:48:57,144 Dylan, come here. 1249 00:48:58,186 --> 00:48:59,730 Do you want to bowl with those sissy rails up, 1250 00:48:59,813 --> 00:49:02,357 or do you want to stand and bowl like a man? 1251 00:49:03,734 --> 00:49:04,901 I don't need the rails, I guess. 1252 00:49:04,985 --> 00:49:06,153 Attaboy! I'm proud of you, kid. 1253 00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:08,155 Hey, I'm proud of you too, big guy, all right? 1254 00:49:08,322 --> 00:49:10,073 Dylan's going without the rails. 1255 00:49:10,240 --> 00:49:12,659 No rails? Whoo! All right, Dylan! 1256 00:49:12,826 --> 00:49:14,828 Don't be afraid to release it high. 1257 00:49:14,911 --> 00:49:15,912 Here we go. 1258 00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:18,415 Good try. 1259 00:49:18,665 --> 00:49:19,875 When he's up there with the tears 1260 00:49:19,958 --> 00:49:21,209 and "I suck at everything" business, 1261 00:49:21,293 --> 00:49:23,045 that's on you, Mr. School of Hard Knocks. 1262 00:49:23,211 --> 00:49:24,630 Hey, better than him living in your basement 1263 00:49:24,713 --> 00:49:26,214 in 20 years, Mr. Sissy Rails. 1264 00:49:30,510 --> 00:49:31,887 Come on, buddy. Give it another shot. 1265 00:49:32,220 --> 00:49:33,805 Okay. New start, new beginning. Here we go. 1266 00:49:38,935 --> 00:49:39,936 Yay! 1267 00:49:41,605 --> 00:49:42,606 Oh, yeah. 1268 00:49:53,992 --> 00:49:56,495 Are we certain he understands the game? 1269 00:49:56,578 --> 00:49:58,830 He seems to almost be trying to put it in the gutter. 1270 00:49:58,997 --> 00:50:01,083 I know. He needs to get more height on the ball. 1271 00:50:16,765 --> 00:50:19,434 I hate this frickin' game! It's so frickin' stupid! 1272 00:50:21,103 --> 00:50:22,646 Hey, everybody, check it out! 1273 00:50:22,813 --> 00:50:24,564 This kid's about to bowl a perfect zero. 1274 00:50:24,690 --> 00:50:25,982 Hey, mind your business! 1275 00:50:27,859 --> 00:50:28,902 Hey, how do you think this is gonna make him 1276 00:50:28,985 --> 00:50:29,986 feel about himself? 1277 00:50:30,153 --> 00:50:31,822 Well, this is character building. 1278 00:50:31,988 --> 00:50:33,490 Even the ridicule. 1279 00:50:33,949 --> 00:50:35,701 - Come on, bud. - Come on, Dylan! 1280 00:50:36,118 --> 00:50:37,619 It's okay. 1281 00:50:37,869 --> 00:50:39,538 I suck at everything! 1282 00:50:39,705 --> 00:50:41,790 I quit, I quit! 1283 00:50:44,167 --> 00:50:45,502 Hey. Hey, kid, listen. 1284 00:50:47,087 --> 00:50:49,923 We Mayron men might not always show up. 1285 00:50:50,257 --> 00:50:52,259 I mean, we want to show up, we intend to, but 1286 00:50:52,426 --> 00:50:54,177 sometimes we get trashed the night before, 1287 00:50:54,261 --> 00:50:55,762 or we wreck a speedboat, or 1288 00:50:55,929 --> 00:50:58,432 hook up with some Emirates flight attendants and 1289 00:50:58,598 --> 00:51:01,351 somehow end up on a redeye to Dubai. 1290 00:51:02,060 --> 00:51:03,562 You know what I mean. 1291 00:51:03,812 --> 00:51:05,647 The point is, we may not always show up, 1292 00:51:05,814 --> 00:51:08,483 but when we do, we finish what we start. 1293 00:51:08,775 --> 00:51:10,861 Now you get up there and grab those balls. 1294 00:51:16,825 --> 00:51:18,326 Come on, you got this. 1295 00:51:26,334 --> 00:51:27,544 Go, bro! 1296 00:51:28,003 --> 00:51:29,838 I'll take that. 1297 00:51:30,172 --> 00:51:31,673 I'll cover that. 1298 00:51:34,342 --> 00:51:35,677 Come on, honey! 1299 00:51:37,012 --> 00:51:38,764 - Come on, buddy. - You can do it, kid. 1300 00:51:51,526 --> 00:51:53,028 Please. Please. 1301 00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:10,295 Whoo! I did it! 1302 00:52:13,131 --> 00:52:15,050 Thanks for believing in me, El Padre! 1303 00:52:15,217 --> 00:52:17,886 You bet, buddy! I knew you had it in you! 1304 00:52:20,055 --> 00:52:22,474 You're a winner! You're a winner! 1305 00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:34,653 Hey, where were you guys? 1306 00:52:34,736 --> 00:52:35,946 We're almost at the front of the line here. 1307 00:52:36,112 --> 00:52:38,657 We were at the Starbucks checking out the local talent. 1308 00:52:38,824 --> 00:52:40,116 Cute little number at the next table 1309 00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:41,368 was giving this one the eye. 1310 00:52:41,535 --> 00:52:43,119 And El Padre got a phone number from the lady 1311 00:52:43,203 --> 00:52:45,956 who made the coffees. We got free ones! 1312 00:52:47,958 --> 00:52:50,293 - I drink coffee now. - What? Get in here. 1313 00:52:50,502 --> 00:52:51,837 Big jump! 1314 00:52:57,175 --> 00:52:58,468 Hey, honey, are you sure you don't want 1315 00:52:58,552 --> 00:52:59,678 to go see Santa with the boys? 1316 00:52:59,761 --> 00:53:01,263 You were so excited. 1317 00:53:03,181 --> 00:53:05,767 Mom, Santa is so lame. 1318 00:53:06,434 --> 00:53:08,436 - Come on. - He can hear you, you know! 1319 00:53:10,355 --> 00:53:12,274 You know, I'm sorry, um... 1320 00:53:12,941 --> 00:53:16,361 My daughter thinks that your daughter is amazing. 1321 00:53:16,778 --> 00:53:18,113 Oh, that's sweet. 1322 00:53:19,281 --> 00:53:21,283 Which is cute, you're right, but 1323 00:53:21,449 --> 00:53:23,869 sometimes when Adrianna does certain things, 1324 00:53:24,035 --> 00:53:25,453 then Megan thinks that it's okay to do it 1325 00:53:25,537 --> 00:53:26,788 because you said that... 1326 00:53:32,127 --> 00:53:33,128 Oh, my God. 1327 00:53:33,837 --> 00:53:35,505 Are you really stealing right now? 1328 00:53:35,672 --> 00:53:37,382 Sometimes I shoplift a little bit. 1329 00:53:37,465 --> 00:53:38,675 It's exciting! 1330 00:53:39,843 --> 00:53:42,512 No! I mean... Okay, yeah, it's a little exciting. 1331 00:53:42,596 --> 00:53:44,180 My heart's really beating out of my chest. 1332 00:53:44,347 --> 00:53:46,433 What if we get caught? You got to put it back! 1333 00:53:46,600 --> 00:53:47,642 You're so obedient. 1334 00:53:47,726 --> 00:53:49,352 You're always following the rules, you know. 1335 00:53:49,519 --> 00:53:50,604 Come on, Sara. 1336 00:53:50,687 --> 00:53:52,188 Have a little fun with me. Relax. 1337 00:53:52,355 --> 00:53:54,190 I mean, I would love to have a little fun with you, 1338 00:53:54,274 --> 00:53:56,693 but I just want you to know, I am not obedient, okay? 1339 00:53:56,860 --> 00:53:59,321 - Then put this in your pants. - Uh, no. No, thank you. 1340 00:53:59,487 --> 00:54:01,489 And don't touch my boobs. It's weird. 1341 00:54:01,656 --> 00:54:04,075 Stop it! I'm not going to shoplift! 1342 00:54:04,242 --> 00:54:05,660 - Why not? - Because... 1343 00:54:06,119 --> 00:54:08,121 Because you're about to see why. 1344 00:54:08,288 --> 00:54:09,789 - Pardon me, miss? - Yes? 1345 00:54:09,998 --> 00:54:12,083 - Is this woman bothering you? - What? 1346 00:54:12,375 --> 00:54:15,545 She's a little judgmental, but she's fine. Thank you. 1347 00:54:15,837 --> 00:54:17,255 No worries. 1348 00:54:24,971 --> 00:54:26,640 Welcome to the North Pole! 1349 00:54:26,806 --> 00:54:28,600 And what do you want for Christmas? 1350 00:54:34,814 --> 00:54:36,483 Oh, I didn't miss it. Hi! 1351 00:54:36,650 --> 00:54:38,652 Right there. This is a great shot. 1352 00:54:38,985 --> 00:54:41,237 - Are you getting it, honey? - Yeah, I got a good one. 1353 00:54:41,404 --> 00:54:42,572 That's a great shot. 1354 00:54:43,323 --> 00:54:44,324 Thank you, Santa. 1355 00:54:44,407 --> 00:54:45,492 - Oh, you're welcome! - Hi, honey. 1356 00:54:45,825 --> 00:54:47,410 What about you, big brother? 1357 00:54:47,494 --> 00:54:49,621 I'm sure you've been good. What's on your list? 1358 00:54:49,913 --> 00:54:51,665 I kind of want 1359 00:54:51,957 --> 00:54:53,375 a 20-gauge shotgun, 1360 00:54:53,458 --> 00:54:55,210 so I can go turkey hunting with my El Padre! 1361 00:54:55,377 --> 00:54:56,878 What the heck? Where'd he come up with that? 1362 00:54:56,962 --> 00:54:58,046 Did he just ask for a firearm? 1363 00:54:58,213 --> 00:55:00,298 Sure did! 20-gauge. Kid knows his guns. 1364 00:55:00,465 --> 00:55:02,175 Kurt, we've already been through this. Dusty and I... 1365 00:55:02,258 --> 00:55:03,885 Yeah, it is final. That's it. It's not happening. 1366 00:55:04,052 --> 00:55:05,178 Really? Because I don't remember 1367 00:55:05,261 --> 00:55:06,388 being part of that discussion. 1368 00:55:06,638 --> 00:55:08,431 Or am I just some little obedient wife 1369 00:55:08,515 --> 00:55:09,724 who does whatever the men folk say? 1370 00:55:10,141 --> 00:55:11,726 Yeah, that doesn't seem quite fair to me. 1371 00:55:11,810 --> 00:55:12,811 Oh, piss off, Kurt. 1372 00:55:12,978 --> 00:55:14,479 Honey, he's talking about a gun. 1373 00:55:14,813 --> 00:55:17,315 If I may, can I just 1374 00:55:17,649 --> 00:55:20,318 have a word with my grandson? 1375 00:55:21,152 --> 00:55:23,196 I just want you to fully understand 1376 00:55:23,279 --> 00:55:24,656 what you're asking for. 1377 00:55:24,990 --> 00:55:27,909 To take a gun into the wilderness, 1378 00:55:28,243 --> 00:55:30,787 find an animal living free, 1379 00:55:30,954 --> 00:55:32,914 and take away its life. 1380 00:55:33,081 --> 00:55:35,000 So that it can never breathe or run 1381 00:55:35,917 --> 00:55:38,420 or play ever again. Now, 1382 00:55:38,753 --> 00:55:40,755 is that what you really want? 1383 00:55:40,922 --> 00:55:42,132 Yes. 1384 00:55:42,674 --> 00:55:45,135 - No. I don't want to do that. - Ah. 1385 00:55:45,218 --> 00:55:47,053 You have a good heart, Dylan. 1386 00:55:47,303 --> 00:55:48,972 I'll do it! I'll kill a turkey! 1387 00:55:49,139 --> 00:55:50,807 Can I shoot one? Please? 1388 00:55:52,100 --> 00:55:54,102 I'll have one shotgun, please, Santa. 1389 00:55:54,185 --> 00:55:55,854 And gobs and gobs of bullets. 1390 00:55:56,146 --> 00:55:58,231 No, no, no, cupcake. No, I'm sorry. 1391 00:55:58,398 --> 00:56:02,068 No, the men do the hunting. You ladies cook what we kill. 1392 00:56:02,527 --> 00:56:03,528 Excuse me? 1393 00:56:05,238 --> 00:56:06,906 Yeah, excuse you? 1394 00:56:07,240 --> 00:56:09,159 Here, turkey, turkey, turkey! 1395 00:56:09,325 --> 00:56:10,452 Be patient, sweetheart. 1396 00:56:10,535 --> 00:56:11,745 The decoys are right around the corner. 1397 00:56:11,911 --> 00:56:13,121 This is nice, huh, Dust? 1398 00:56:13,204 --> 00:56:15,832 You and me, the fresh air. Just like old times. 1399 00:56:15,999 --> 00:56:17,167 What do you mean "just like old times"? 1400 00:56:17,250 --> 00:56:18,334 You only took me once, Dad. 1401 00:56:18,626 --> 00:56:19,627 Aw, jeez, I don't know. Are you sure 1402 00:56:19,711 --> 00:56:21,463 this is a good idea, Sara? 1403 00:56:21,629 --> 00:56:23,715 Megan is a strong independent woman. 1404 00:56:23,882 --> 00:56:25,925 If she wants to help thin the wild turkey population 1405 00:56:26,092 --> 00:56:27,969 so that they don't starve to death in the winter, 1406 00:56:28,136 --> 00:56:29,721 that is her right by the Second Amendment. 1407 00:56:29,804 --> 00:56:31,723 Boy, you bought into that real quick. 1408 00:56:31,890 --> 00:56:32,932 I mean, I think for Megan 1409 00:56:33,016 --> 00:56:34,434 this is less about wildlife conservation 1410 00:56:34,517 --> 00:56:35,643 and more about bloodlust. 1411 00:56:35,810 --> 00:56:38,480 Looks like somebody picked the wrong day to be a turkey. 1412 00:56:38,897 --> 00:56:41,316 Keep your elbow down and cradle the stock, okay. 1413 00:56:41,483 --> 00:56:42,484 Yeah, I get it. 1414 00:56:42,567 --> 00:56:44,069 Can I shoot the damn thing or not? 1415 00:56:44,235 --> 00:56:45,570 Yeah, that's the spirit. 1416 00:56:45,904 --> 00:56:47,405 Take a deep breath, 1417 00:56:47,655 --> 00:56:48,698 and then squeeze that trigger 1418 00:56:48,782 --> 00:56:50,742 as you're letting it out. 1419 00:56:51,868 --> 00:56:53,828 Megan, are you sure this is what you want to do? 1420 00:56:54,996 --> 00:56:55,997 Let's name it. 1421 00:56:56,081 --> 00:56:57,499 She's not gonna kill it if it has a name. 1422 00:56:57,665 --> 00:56:59,834 - Yes! Uh... Gertrude. - Sam? Tom? 1423 00:57:00,293 --> 00:57:01,628 Billie Holiday! No. 1424 00:57:01,795 --> 00:57:02,879 - Elijah. - Elijah! 1425 00:57:02,962 --> 00:57:04,839 - Elijah, run home! - Stand your ground, kid. 1426 00:57:04,923 --> 00:57:05,924 Save yourself, Elijah! 1427 00:57:06,049 --> 00:57:07,050 Take the shot, kid. Take the shot. 1428 00:57:07,133 --> 00:57:08,343 No, Elijah has feelings! 1429 00:57:08,426 --> 00:57:09,636 Take the shot! 1430 00:57:11,262 --> 00:57:12,639 Oh, God! 1431 00:57:13,098 --> 00:57:14,099 Dad! 1432 00:57:14,307 --> 00:57:16,392 Oh, my God. Honey, are you okay? 1433 00:57:16,643 --> 00:57:17,644 - Kurt! - Dad, Dad, are you all right? 1434 00:57:17,727 --> 00:57:18,978 I'm okay. She just winged me. 1435 00:57:19,145 --> 00:57:20,480 I'm sorry, El Padre! I'm sorry. 1436 00:57:20,647 --> 00:57:21,648 That's okay, kid. I've been shot 1437 00:57:21,731 --> 00:57:23,149 worse than this plenty of times. 1438 00:57:23,316 --> 00:57:24,651 Make your scarf into a tourniquet. 1439 00:57:24,734 --> 00:57:26,402 Wrap it around his shoulder. 1440 00:57:26,736 --> 00:57:28,238 Lift his legs! 1441 00:57:28,404 --> 00:57:30,323 - You'll be fine, sweetheart. - I'm gonna bleed out. 1442 00:57:37,956 --> 00:57:38,957 Wow. 1443 00:57:39,249 --> 00:57:41,751 Two for two. Makes getting shot worth it. 1444 00:57:41,918 --> 00:57:43,253 Get the birds, Brad. 1445 00:57:43,419 --> 00:57:45,588 God! I don't know who this child is. 1446 00:57:45,755 --> 00:57:47,090 You get that one. 1447 00:57:55,306 --> 00:57:56,975 What? I know, okay? 1448 00:57:57,267 --> 00:57:59,435 It's on me. I'm the worst mom in the world. 1449 00:57:59,686 --> 00:58:01,020 I put a gun in my daughter's hand, 1450 00:58:01,104 --> 00:58:03,106 and then she nearly killed somebody. 1451 00:58:03,439 --> 00:58:05,525 She's gonna be scarred for life. 1452 00:58:06,109 --> 00:58:07,193 Hi! 1453 00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:08,653 I just shot a turkey and a man. 1454 00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:10,989 Guess which one's dead. 1455 00:58:15,910 --> 00:58:18,663 Okay, fine, maybe she's a little too unscarred. 1456 00:58:18,746 --> 00:58:19,789 Jeez. 1457 00:58:24,669 --> 00:58:26,337 - You all right? - Yeah, good. 1458 00:58:26,671 --> 00:58:27,672 All right. So, listen, 1459 00:58:27,755 --> 00:58:28,840 the doctor said everything is gonna be all right. 1460 00:58:29,007 --> 00:58:30,633 He just wants to keep you for a couple of hours 1461 00:58:30,717 --> 00:58:31,843 to watch your blood pressure. 1462 00:58:32,010 --> 00:58:33,678 I'm fine. Where's my pants? 1463 00:58:33,845 --> 00:58:35,680 Hey. Oh, I forgot. Nothing ever hurts you. 1464 00:58:35,847 --> 00:58:37,098 Why don't we just round up all the nurses? 1465 00:58:37,182 --> 00:58:38,183 We can bring them in here. 1466 00:58:38,266 --> 00:58:39,309 You could do some pushups for them, 1467 00:58:39,475 --> 00:58:40,476 maybe bench press the couch a little bit, 1468 00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:41,728 prove you're still a tough guy. 1469 00:58:41,853 --> 00:58:43,271 Still tough enough to lick you, Junior. 1470 00:58:43,354 --> 00:58:44,355 Was that a scoff? 1471 00:58:44,480 --> 00:58:45,481 I didn't scoff. 1472 00:58:45,565 --> 00:58:46,649 Yeah, I heard you scoff just then. 1473 00:58:46,733 --> 00:58:47,775 All right, I scoffed. So what? 1474 00:58:47,942 --> 00:58:49,277 Why, because you think you can lick me, right? 1475 00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:50,361 Oh, I never said I could lick you, 1476 00:58:50,445 --> 00:58:51,446 but I could whoop you for sure. 1477 00:58:51,613 --> 00:58:52,614 Oh, now we're talking! 1478 00:58:52,697 --> 00:58:53,865 Come on. Best out of three falls, come on. 1479 00:58:54,032 --> 00:58:55,533 Hey, cut it out, okay? I'm not gonna wrestle an old man 1480 00:58:55,617 --> 00:58:57,076 whose ass is hanging out of his hospital gown. 1481 00:58:57,243 --> 00:58:58,745 Greco-Roman style. Best way. Come on. 1482 00:58:58,912 --> 00:59:00,914 Hey, Great Santini, I'm not gonna do this, all right? 1483 00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:02,707 - Cut it out. Get some rest. - All right. 1484 00:59:02,957 --> 00:59:04,459 Hey! 1485 00:59:04,709 --> 00:59:06,544 That's one, candy-ass. 1486 00:59:06,711 --> 00:59:08,213 Oh, now you're gonna get whipped, old man. 1487 00:59:08,296 --> 00:59:09,380 Come on. Bring it on. 1488 00:59:14,594 --> 00:59:15,637 Tap out! 1489 00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:17,263 Nah. I can keep going all night, kid. 1490 00:59:17,347 --> 00:59:19,057 You hear that heart rate? You can set your watch to it. 1491 00:59:19,224 --> 00:59:21,142 Oh, yeah. 'Cause ice water only flows at one speed, huh? 1492 00:59:21,309 --> 00:59:23,311 That's right, pal. Now go to sleep. 1493 00:59:23,478 --> 00:59:24,562 You know I came in to say something nice, 1494 00:59:24,646 --> 00:59:25,688 but now you can forget it. 1495 00:59:25,855 --> 00:59:27,440 Huh. What nice thing? 1496 00:59:27,607 --> 00:59:28,942 No. Forget it. 1497 00:59:29,108 --> 00:59:31,152 You know, when that gun went off, 1498 00:59:31,236 --> 00:59:32,278 I thought you were a goner. 1499 00:59:32,445 --> 00:59:33,529 There's something that we never say that 1500 00:59:33,613 --> 00:59:35,823 one of us should say before it's too late. 1501 00:59:37,784 --> 00:59:39,118 Yeah? Like... Like what? 1502 00:59:39,285 --> 00:59:40,328 No, I'm not gonna say it now, 1503 00:59:40,411 --> 00:59:41,996 but maybe you want to say something. 1504 00:59:42,080 --> 00:59:43,081 I don't know what you're talking about. 1505 00:59:43,164 --> 00:59:44,207 Oh, yeah? 1506 00:59:44,290 --> 00:59:46,542 Seems like you might want to get something off your chest. 1507 00:59:46,709 --> 00:59:47,710 No. Nothing comes to mind. 1508 00:59:47,794 --> 00:59:49,045 But if you want to say something, 1509 00:59:49,128 --> 00:59:50,296 I'm not gonna stop you or anything. 1510 00:59:50,463 --> 00:59:51,506 No, I'm good. 1511 00:59:51,589 --> 00:59:52,715 But you might wanna unburden yourself 1512 00:59:52,799 --> 00:59:54,592 before you bust that frickin' machine. 1513 00:59:54,926 --> 00:59:57,262 Yeah. Well, if I was gonna say something, and I'm not... 1514 00:59:57,428 --> 00:59:58,429 What are you gonna say? 1515 00:59:58,513 --> 01:00:00,056 But if I was, I might want to tell you that I... 1516 01:00:00,223 --> 01:00:01,266 Hello? 1517 01:00:01,349 --> 01:00:02,433 Wait, it's Brad! Don't, don't say it! Don't say it. 1518 01:00:02,517 --> 01:00:03,518 Knock, knock! 1519 01:00:03,601 --> 01:00:04,602 Time out on three, okay? One, two, three. 1520 01:00:04,686 --> 01:00:05,937 Hey, Brad. 1521 01:00:06,521 --> 01:00:07,605 What's going on? 1522 01:00:07,772 --> 01:00:09,357 Hey. Am I interrupting something? 1523 01:00:09,524 --> 01:00:10,942 - What? No, nothing. - No, we're fine. 1524 01:00:11,109 --> 01:00:12,277 Why are you being so weird, Brad? 1525 01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:13,444 Just seems a little awkward in here. 1526 01:00:14,821 --> 01:00:16,572 Oh, gosh. It smells like a bullfight. 1527 01:00:16,990 --> 01:00:18,408 So, look, guys, 1528 01:00:18,741 --> 01:00:20,618 I'm not here to tell you I told you so, 1529 01:00:20,702 --> 01:00:21,744 even though I did. 1530 01:00:22,704 --> 01:00:23,997 I've just been thinking that 1531 01:00:24,080 --> 01:00:26,374 we've had a lot of tensions as of late, and I thought 1532 01:00:26,541 --> 01:00:29,043 maybe we could use a Dads' Night Out. Right? 1533 01:00:29,210 --> 01:00:31,462 Yeah. So what are we thinking, Brad? 1534 01:00:31,546 --> 01:00:32,588 Strip club? 1535 01:00:32,922 --> 01:00:34,924 Even better. 1536 01:00:35,258 --> 01:00:38,761 Oh, look, it's a cute tiny monkey on your back. 1537 01:00:43,099 --> 01:00:44,309 Give us all the money in the drawers 1538 01:00:44,392 --> 01:00:45,893 and all the lollipops. 1539 01:00:49,897 --> 01:00:51,482 Guys, I can't keep up. 1540 01:01:01,117 --> 01:01:02,118 I'm gonna hit the head. 1541 01:01:02,201 --> 01:01:03,244 I'll get us a couple more drinks. 1542 01:01:03,328 --> 01:01:04,329 Sure. 1543 01:01:04,412 --> 01:01:06,748 Hey, am I crazy or are you guys having a good time? 1544 01:01:06,914 --> 01:01:08,374 I don't know. I think we kind of are. 1545 01:01:08,750 --> 01:01:10,501 - That's wonderful, Dusty! - Thanks, Don. 1546 01:01:11,377 --> 01:01:13,171 I told you we'd rub off on you two. 1547 01:01:13,338 --> 01:01:14,881 In this room right now, 1548 01:01:14,964 --> 01:01:18,176 uh, there's a man who, despite his advancing years, 1549 01:01:18,343 --> 01:01:20,511 is apparently an improv ninja. 1550 01:01:21,262 --> 01:01:22,597 Brad, you didn't. 1551 01:01:22,764 --> 01:01:25,433 I did. I so did! 1552 01:01:25,683 --> 01:01:27,602 Don Whitaker, ladies and gentlemen! 1553 01:01:27,935 --> 01:01:30,104 All right. All right. 1554 01:01:32,857 --> 01:01:34,275 You are the greatest. 1555 01:01:36,694 --> 01:01:38,446 Don! Let's hear it for Don! 1556 01:01:39,280 --> 01:01:40,656 We're gonna play a little "Arms Akimbo." 1557 01:01:40,740 --> 01:01:41,783 Do you know that one? 1558 01:01:41,949 --> 01:01:43,034 - Oh! Of course I do! - Awesome. 1559 01:01:43,117 --> 01:01:44,160 They're gonna love this. 1560 01:01:44,535 --> 01:01:47,121 - Can somebody do my Velcro? - Yes. 1561 01:01:47,455 --> 01:01:49,290 He's got tiny little girl arms! 1562 01:01:51,167 --> 01:01:52,627 Okay. We're gonna do a scene, 1563 01:01:52,710 --> 01:01:54,629 and we need some suggestions. 1564 01:01:54,712 --> 01:01:56,172 Can you suggest an animal? 1565 01:01:56,339 --> 01:01:57,673 - Raccoon! - A panda! 1566 01:01:57,840 --> 01:01:59,592 Raccoon, good! All right. 1567 01:01:59,675 --> 01:02:01,511 And, sir, what is your profession? 1568 01:02:01,677 --> 01:02:03,012 I'm a dermatologist. 1569 01:02:03,179 --> 01:02:06,015 And finally we need a human relationship. 1570 01:02:06,182 --> 01:02:07,266 Oh! Father and son! 1571 01:02:07,350 --> 01:02:08,935 A healthy father and son relationship. 1572 01:02:09,143 --> 01:02:10,645 Or how about a divorce? 1573 01:02:12,146 --> 01:02:13,898 Oh. Now you're getting in the spirit, Dusty. 1574 01:02:14,107 --> 01:02:15,191 Yes. Okay. We're taking "divorce." 1575 01:02:15,274 --> 01:02:16,442 That's all we need. Give it up! 1576 01:02:16,609 --> 01:02:18,236 That's really dark. 1577 01:02:18,986 --> 01:02:20,029 Oh, come on, babe. 1578 01:02:20,113 --> 01:02:21,656 Just a little fun before he gets here. 1579 01:02:21,823 --> 01:02:23,032 No. Stop it. I told you, okay? 1580 01:02:23,116 --> 01:02:25,576 No canoodling until the divorce is finalized. 1581 01:02:25,743 --> 01:02:27,328 - It's not right. - Oh, come on. 1582 01:02:27,578 --> 01:02:28,955 Knock, knock. 1583 01:02:29,247 --> 01:02:32,083 He has no idea what he's walking into! 1584 01:02:33,167 --> 01:02:34,669 Oh, you're home! 1585 01:02:34,836 --> 01:02:36,003 Yes. 1586 01:02:37,046 --> 01:02:38,214 Where were you? 1587 01:02:39,841 --> 01:02:42,844 Uh... I took our raccoon to the dermatologist. 1588 01:02:43,010 --> 01:02:44,303 He got two of the suggestions already. 1589 01:02:44,387 --> 01:02:45,430 He's on fire! 1590 01:02:45,596 --> 01:02:48,266 Aren't you even gonna address the strange man in your home? 1591 01:02:48,433 --> 01:02:50,935 Yeah, bro, don't you even want to know who I am? 1592 01:02:51,519 --> 01:02:53,020 I know who you are. 1593 01:02:53,187 --> 01:02:54,939 Don, if you'll excuse me, 1594 01:02:55,106 --> 01:02:56,858 I think I'm gonna start giving it to your wife. 1595 01:02:57,358 --> 01:02:58,359 Shut up! 1596 01:02:58,526 --> 01:03:00,486 Just shut up with that kind of talk! 1597 01:03:01,446 --> 01:03:04,282 When we met on that flight, I was really nice to you. 1598 01:03:04,449 --> 01:03:06,409 I listened to you tell your stupid story 1599 01:03:06,492 --> 01:03:08,453 over and over again, and 1600 01:03:08,703 --> 01:03:10,788 I complimented your hat! 1601 01:03:14,041 --> 01:03:16,419 - Brad, we have to stop this. - He's killing! 1602 01:03:16,502 --> 01:03:17,712 Don't you see what's happening? 1603 01:03:17,879 --> 01:03:19,881 I do. I see a room of people laughing at my father. 1604 01:03:19,964 --> 01:03:20,965 - It's amazing. - Okay. 1605 01:03:21,257 --> 01:03:24,260 - Have some water. - No, I don't want water. 1606 01:03:27,138 --> 01:03:28,139 Oh! 1607 01:03:28,514 --> 01:03:31,434 I don't want water! I want my wife back. 1608 01:03:31,726 --> 01:03:35,438 And I want our Sunday brunches at the Cracker Barrel. 1609 01:03:35,521 --> 01:03:36,564 Braddie, we've got to get him off the stage. 1610 01:03:37,773 --> 01:03:40,610 All you needed was somebody to listen to you, and 1611 01:03:41,777 --> 01:03:43,446 all I do is talk. 1612 01:03:43,779 --> 01:03:44,864 On and on and on. 1613 01:03:44,947 --> 01:03:46,866 When am I ever gonna learn to shut my 1614 01:03:47,033 --> 01:03:48,743 big fat mouth? 1615 01:03:48,826 --> 01:03:49,827 Ooh. 1616 01:03:50,369 --> 01:03:51,787 Oh, Ginny. 1617 01:03:53,623 --> 01:03:54,624 Ginny. 1618 01:03:55,416 --> 01:03:57,084 My sweet Ginny. 1619 01:03:57,418 --> 01:03:59,754 Why is he using my mom's real name? 1620 01:04:02,173 --> 01:04:03,508 Hey, Dad? 1621 01:04:04,342 --> 01:04:05,927 Is this true? 1622 01:04:07,637 --> 01:04:09,472 Are you and Mom divorced? 1623 01:04:11,557 --> 01:04:13,476 I wanted to tell you, Brad. 1624 01:04:17,230 --> 01:04:20,107 Son, you're home from summer camp! 1625 01:04:21,609 --> 01:04:24,612 I don't go to summer camp, I'm a grown man. Okay? 1626 01:04:29,408 --> 01:04:31,827 Why are you laughing? I'm not part of this! Okay? 1627 01:04:31,994 --> 01:04:33,621 You are a part of this family, 1628 01:04:33,704 --> 01:04:35,039 and you will respect your parents. 1629 01:04:35,122 --> 01:04:36,207 - Yeah. - Shut up! 1630 01:04:36,290 --> 01:04:37,333 - Brad. - Just shut up. 1631 01:04:37,416 --> 01:04:38,459 Let me out of this bit! 1632 01:04:38,793 --> 01:04:40,711 What about him? Is he still around? 1633 01:04:40,878 --> 01:04:42,672 Do I have a stepdad? 1634 01:04:44,382 --> 01:04:47,552 Stop doing that to me! I'm a paying customer! 1635 01:04:48,219 --> 01:04:49,720 Brad, let's go. 1636 01:04:50,721 --> 01:04:52,431 Come on. 1637 01:05:01,691 --> 01:05:03,859 Will you please just go out there and talk to him? 1638 01:05:04,318 --> 01:05:06,904 He won't talk to me, and I don't blame him. 1639 01:05:08,030 --> 01:05:10,199 You know, it's not really all your fault. 1640 01:05:11,409 --> 01:05:12,910 You can't blame Dusty. 1641 01:05:13,077 --> 01:05:14,829 He couldn't have known about Ginny and me 1642 01:05:14,912 --> 01:05:16,747 when he made that improv suggestion. 1643 01:05:19,041 --> 01:05:21,544 - You did know! - It was pretty obvious, Don. 1644 01:05:21,711 --> 01:05:23,212 A guy your age either joins an improv group 1645 01:05:23,296 --> 01:05:24,422 because his wife left him, 1646 01:05:24,505 --> 01:05:25,506 or his wife left him 1647 01:05:25,590 --> 01:05:26,632 because he joined an improv group. 1648 01:05:26,716 --> 01:05:29,218 - So you did it on purpose? - No! Well... 1649 01:05:29,635 --> 01:05:31,137 Well, yeah. All right? I did. 1650 01:05:31,304 --> 01:05:32,346 You and Brad are all lovey-dovey 1651 01:05:32,430 --> 01:05:33,472 and smug about your relationship. 1652 01:05:33,556 --> 01:05:34,974 I mean, you make out every chance you get. 1653 01:05:35,141 --> 01:05:36,475 Meanwhile, my dad's ditching out on me. 1654 01:05:36,684 --> 01:05:38,311 Maybe I got a little jealous, all right? 1655 01:05:38,477 --> 01:05:39,520 Look, I didn't think you'd freak out 1656 01:05:39,604 --> 01:05:42,148 and spill your guts to a room full of drunken skiers! 1657 01:05:42,315 --> 01:05:44,191 - Hey. What is wrong with you? - What? I didn't... 1658 01:05:44,358 --> 01:05:45,693 Go out there and fix this right now. 1659 01:05:45,776 --> 01:05:46,777 - Go! - All right. 1660 01:05:51,824 --> 01:05:53,242 Are you serious? 1661 01:05:53,409 --> 01:05:54,827 I'm keeping this. 1662 01:06:17,099 --> 01:06:18,351 Are you okay? 1663 01:06:19,810 --> 01:06:20,811 Uh... 1664 01:06:21,562 --> 01:06:23,230 My parents are divorced. 1665 01:06:23,397 --> 01:06:25,024 Oh. Mine, too. 1666 01:06:25,399 --> 01:06:26,400 Sucks. 1667 01:06:26,984 --> 01:06:29,320 - Yeah. - I think it was my fault. 1668 01:06:29,945 --> 01:06:33,366 - Was yours your fault, too? - I don't know. I hope not. 1669 01:06:33,532 --> 01:06:35,618 I just found out last night. When did you find out? 1670 01:06:35,785 --> 01:06:38,204 - I was a baby. - Oh, when you were a baby? 1671 01:06:38,704 --> 01:06:41,207 Maybe it was your fault. Were you a difficult baby? 1672 01:06:41,374 --> 01:06:43,042 Um, I don't know. 1673 01:06:43,209 --> 01:06:44,543 You know what? Your lack of specifics 1674 01:06:44,627 --> 01:06:46,379 leads me to believe it was your fault. 1675 01:06:46,545 --> 01:06:48,714 No, no, no! You were not a difficult baby, sweetheart. 1676 01:06:48,881 --> 01:06:50,633 Brad, dude, what are you telling the kid? 1677 01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:53,052 Come on, man. I know you're upset about last night. 1678 01:06:53,219 --> 01:06:54,720 All right? I'm sorry about what happened, okay? 1679 01:06:54,887 --> 01:06:56,097 I didn't mean to give that improv suggestion. 1680 01:06:56,180 --> 01:06:58,015 It just... It just kind of slipped out. 1681 01:06:59,392 --> 01:07:01,310 Know what, Dusty? It's okay. 1682 01:07:01,394 --> 01:07:02,395 - Really? - Mmm-hmm. Yeah. 1683 01:07:02,561 --> 01:07:03,562 Oh. Thanks, Brad. 1684 01:07:03,646 --> 01:07:04,730 Look, why don't you come in and talk to Don? 1685 01:07:04,814 --> 01:07:05,856 He's feeling a little... 1686 01:07:05,940 --> 01:07:07,817 Oh, my gosh. I wonder who that could be? 1687 01:07:08,234 --> 01:07:10,152 Ooh, what a nice truck! 1688 01:07:18,119 --> 01:07:19,120 Daddy! 1689 01:07:19,620 --> 01:07:23,082 - What are you doing here? - Come on. What am I doing? 1690 01:07:23,249 --> 01:07:25,584 I want to celebrate Christmas with my perfect little girl. 1691 01:07:25,751 --> 01:07:26,961 Don't you want to spend the holidays 1692 01:07:27,044 --> 01:07:28,838 with your one true real dad? 1693 01:07:29,004 --> 01:07:30,339 Yeah, come on! 1694 01:07:30,506 --> 01:07:31,799 - Let's come see the cabin. - Hey, Roger. 1695 01:07:31,882 --> 01:07:33,759 It's so cool! 1696 01:07:35,678 --> 01:07:36,762 Come on, hurry. You're going too slow. 1697 01:07:36,846 --> 01:07:37,847 I'm coming, sweetheart. 1698 01:07:38,389 --> 01:07:40,641 You invite him all the way up here just to get back at me? 1699 01:07:40,808 --> 01:07:41,934 Yeah, I did. 1700 01:07:43,936 --> 01:07:46,689 - Bye, Kurt! Call me! - Yeah, next time I'm in. 1701 01:07:46,939 --> 01:07:48,607 That's her dad, yeah? 1702 01:07:48,691 --> 01:07:50,192 Uh-huh. 1703 01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:52,737 And you invited him, too, didn't you? 1704 01:07:52,820 --> 01:07:54,155 I sure did, yep. 1705 01:07:54,321 --> 01:07:55,573 I don't know what I missed, 1706 01:07:55,656 --> 01:07:58,325 but this is getting good, boys. 1707 01:07:59,452 --> 01:08:01,120 - I like your style, Brad. - Hey, hey, hey. 1708 01:08:04,248 --> 01:08:05,708 You're opening up the harbor, Brad. 1709 01:08:05,916 --> 01:08:08,252 Oh. The harbor is wide open, and it's Fleet Week! 1710 01:08:08,335 --> 01:08:09,378 All right, good. 'Cause I got a few boats 1711 01:08:09,462 --> 01:08:10,463 that want to set sail. 1712 01:08:10,546 --> 01:08:11,589 Yeah, good. So do I. 1713 01:08:11,797 --> 01:08:13,132 You favor little Griffy over my kids. 1714 01:08:13,215 --> 01:08:14,300 What? I do not! 1715 01:08:14,467 --> 01:08:15,593 He gets to sleep in your bed all the time. 1716 01:08:15,676 --> 01:08:17,219 Megan and Dylan never get to. 1717 01:08:17,386 --> 01:08:18,763 You want them to sleep in my bed with me? 1718 01:08:18,846 --> 01:08:20,723 God, no! Don't ever think about it! 1719 01:08:20,890 --> 01:08:22,141 I'm not thinking about it! You brought it up. 1720 01:08:22,224 --> 01:08:23,267 Good! You better not. 1721 01:08:23,434 --> 01:08:24,435 - Shut up! - Hey, you shut up. 1722 01:08:24,602 --> 01:08:26,187 - You shut up! - No, you shut up! 1723 01:08:26,395 --> 01:08:27,480 Okay. Well, he's not gonna be part of that 1724 01:08:27,563 --> 01:08:28,647 special thing we got planned tonight, 1725 01:08:28,814 --> 01:08:30,399 if that's what you're thinking. 1726 01:08:30,566 --> 01:08:31,609 Oh, yeah? So you're gonna tell Adrianna 1727 01:08:31,692 --> 01:08:33,235 that everyone's invited to that special thing 1728 01:08:33,319 --> 01:08:34,653 we have planned for tonight, 1729 01:08:34,820 --> 01:08:36,572 except her dad. 1730 01:09:12,983 --> 01:09:16,320 Hey. Five more minutes and I get to be Joseph. 1731 01:09:16,487 --> 01:09:19,031 You're not the right type to play Jesus' dad, Brad. 1732 01:09:19,240 --> 01:09:21,951 He wasn't Jesus' dad, he was Jesus' stepdad. 1733 01:09:22,243 --> 01:09:23,911 And I'm exactly the right type. 1734 01:09:24,954 --> 01:09:26,038 You'd better stop hitting me 1735 01:09:26,121 --> 01:09:27,456 with that shepherd stick, Brad. I'm warning you. 1736 01:09:27,623 --> 01:09:29,458 Brad's right. Let him be Joseph. 1737 01:09:29,625 --> 01:09:30,668 Thank you, Roger, I appreciate that. 1738 01:09:30,751 --> 01:09:32,294 It's Brad's turn, Dusty. 1739 01:09:32,461 --> 01:09:34,129 Dad, don't break character. 1740 01:09:34,213 --> 01:09:35,464 And stop trying to butter me up. 1741 01:09:35,631 --> 01:09:38,217 - Can we show some decorum? - I'm showing decorum. 1742 01:09:38,384 --> 01:09:40,511 Shh! You guys, zip it! You're gonna wake Baby Jesus. 1743 01:09:44,181 --> 01:09:45,349 That's it. Give me the beard. 1744 01:09:45,432 --> 01:09:46,684 Don't touch my Joseph beard, Brad! 1745 01:09:46,851 --> 01:09:48,352 - Give him the beard! - Dad, stay out of it! 1746 01:09:48,519 --> 01:09:49,645 Can we have some respect for the Nativity? 1747 01:09:49,728 --> 01:09:50,896 Cut it out! 1748 01:09:51,397 --> 01:09:53,983 This is stupid. I don't even get it. 1749 01:09:54,358 --> 01:09:57,027 Why go on a trip when Mary's about to have a baby? 1750 01:09:57,194 --> 01:09:58,445 What's so damn important 1751 01:09:58,529 --> 01:10:00,698 you got to go to Bethlehem in the middle of the night? 1752 01:10:00,781 --> 01:10:01,782 There was a census, okay? 1753 01:10:01,866 --> 01:10:02,992 We covered that in Sunday School. 1754 01:10:03,284 --> 01:10:04,994 Megan, what is going... 1755 01:10:05,953 --> 01:10:07,621 Did you get into the eggnog? 1756 01:10:07,788 --> 01:10:08,914 Hey. Who's up for some IHOP? 1757 01:10:08,998 --> 01:10:10,708 Oh, yeah, that kid's pickled all right. 1758 01:10:10,875 --> 01:10:12,835 Mom, you're pretty. Can we go to IHOP? 1759 01:10:13,544 --> 01:10:14,587 I'm sorry, folks. 1760 01:10:14,670 --> 01:10:16,547 Having some technical difficulties. 1761 01:10:16,714 --> 01:10:19,466 Great, Dad. Now you've broken the fourth wall! 1762 01:10:19,800 --> 01:10:21,302 None of it's real, folks. 1763 01:10:21,468 --> 01:10:24,805 I want to go wait in the car. Give me the keys, Braaad! 1764 01:10:25,014 --> 01:10:27,182 No, I am not giving you the keys to the car, 1765 01:10:27,266 --> 01:10:29,351 because you're drunk and you're a child. 1766 01:10:29,518 --> 01:10:33,856 Nobody likes your dumb, stupid Brad voice. 1767 01:10:34,106 --> 01:10:35,774 And you smell like pumpkins! 1768 01:10:35,941 --> 01:10:38,360 - And you're a mean drunk. - Kid's got an arm. 1769 01:10:38,527 --> 01:10:40,696 Drunk nine-year-old. Real nice parenting. 1770 01:10:41,155 --> 01:10:43,115 You better watch it, Roger. 1771 01:10:45,409 --> 01:10:46,785 Adrianna! Are you okay, sweetheart? 1772 01:10:46,869 --> 01:10:47,912 Is she okay? Is she... What is she... 1773 01:10:49,872 --> 01:10:51,165 Oh. What a shock. 1774 01:10:51,248 --> 01:10:52,875 Now we know where Megan got the eggnog. 1775 01:10:53,042 --> 01:10:54,835 You always assume she's the bad influence. 1776 01:10:54,919 --> 01:10:57,212 Maybe your daughter plied my daughter with alcohol. 1777 01:10:57,379 --> 01:10:58,380 Maybe your daughter's that way 1778 01:10:58,464 --> 01:11:00,132 because her mother is a shoplifter. 1779 01:11:00,299 --> 01:11:01,926 Shoplifterrr. 1780 01:11:02,635 --> 01:11:04,637 Sara, we've been working on the shoplifting thing, okay? 1781 01:11:04,803 --> 01:11:05,930 But that has nothing to do with Adrianna 1782 01:11:06,013 --> 01:11:07,222 being such a little nightmare all the time. 1783 01:11:07,389 --> 01:11:08,641 My daughter is not a nightmare! 1784 01:11:08,724 --> 01:11:09,725 Come on, Adrianna. 1785 01:11:09,892 --> 01:11:11,644 No, sweetheart, I didn't mean that. Honey! 1786 01:11:11,727 --> 01:11:12,728 Hey. 1787 01:11:13,145 --> 01:11:15,564 - What'd you call my daughter? - He called her a nightmare. 1788 01:11:15,731 --> 01:11:17,524 Hey. I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a heathen. 1789 01:11:17,608 --> 01:11:18,734 Let's take this outside. 1790 01:11:18,901 --> 01:11:20,277 Yeah, let's step outside the manger. 1791 01:11:20,361 --> 01:11:21,403 He called her a nightmare. 1792 01:11:21,570 --> 01:11:23,113 - Here we go. - Now, now, boys, 1793 01:11:23,489 --> 01:11:25,157 we can't just leave! 1794 01:11:25,324 --> 01:11:28,035 Joseph and the Innkeeper rumble outside the manger! 1795 01:11:28,202 --> 01:11:29,328 Make the first move, Innkeeper. 1796 01:11:29,411 --> 01:11:30,663 Kick his ass, Joseph! 1797 01:11:30,829 --> 01:11:32,915 We are not going to do this in front of the children! 1798 01:11:32,998 --> 01:11:35,167 Now, what kind of fathers are you, anyway? 1799 01:11:35,334 --> 01:11:36,627 Oh, that's rich! 1800 01:11:36,710 --> 01:11:39,630 Coming from a guy who lies to his son for six months. 1801 01:11:39,797 --> 01:11:41,048 Maybe that's why everyone thinks 1802 01:11:41,131 --> 01:11:42,466 your stories are so "delightful," 1803 01:11:42,549 --> 01:11:44,093 because they're all lies! 1804 01:11:44,593 --> 01:11:46,345 Sara, get the kids out of here, okay? 1805 01:11:46,553 --> 01:11:49,139 Happily. I don't want them watching this anyway. 1806 01:11:49,348 --> 01:11:50,933 Have fun, morons! 1807 01:11:51,475 --> 01:11:54,311 - Pancakes, bitches! - Do not say "bitches." 1808 01:11:54,478 --> 01:11:55,479 Kids are gone. Let's go. 1809 01:11:55,562 --> 01:11:56,939 I'm not hitting a guy dressed like Joseph. 1810 01:11:57,606 --> 01:11:58,941 The beard's off, Roger. 1811 01:11:59,108 --> 01:12:00,526 How many excuses you want to pull out, man? 1812 01:12:00,609 --> 01:12:01,610 Oh, now it's on. 1813 01:12:01,777 --> 01:12:03,112 - You know what, Brad? - Don! 1814 01:12:03,278 --> 01:12:04,488 Yes, I lied! 1815 01:12:04,571 --> 01:12:07,574 Because whenever there's anything wrong in your life, 1816 01:12:07,783 --> 01:12:09,743 if it isn't roses and rainbows, 1817 01:12:09,827 --> 01:12:11,370 you completely fall apart. 1818 01:12:11,537 --> 01:12:13,455 I thought we had an honest relationship! 1819 01:12:13,622 --> 01:12:15,040 Oh, yeah. Brad, I bet you never told him 1820 01:12:15,124 --> 01:12:16,959 about that procedure you had last year, did you? 1821 01:12:17,126 --> 01:12:18,127 Oh, my God. What procedure? 1822 01:12:18,210 --> 01:12:20,796 It was nothing, just some benign tissue. 1823 01:12:20,963 --> 01:12:23,716 How about that? You're both a couple of lying sacks. 1824 01:12:23,882 --> 01:12:24,883 And, you! 1825 01:12:25,050 --> 01:12:26,135 From the minute you got here, 1826 01:12:26,218 --> 01:12:28,554 you've been nothing but mean and sarcastic. 1827 01:12:28,721 --> 01:12:29,972 Well, you know what, Kurt? 1828 01:12:30,139 --> 01:12:31,640 - F you! - Dad! 1829 01:12:31,807 --> 01:12:33,475 That's right. Forget you! 1830 01:12:33,642 --> 01:12:35,978 Attaboy, swami. Throwing down F words. 1831 01:12:36,145 --> 01:12:38,022 Not the F word, but an F word, and that's a good start. 1832 01:12:38,105 --> 01:12:39,648 Now, come on, give me the finger, big boy. Come on. 1833 01:12:39,732 --> 01:12:41,400 - Come on. - Hey! Hey! 1834 01:12:41,483 --> 01:12:43,318 Are we gonna still fight or what? 1835 01:12:43,485 --> 01:12:45,696 Roger brings up a good point. Let's get the momentum back. 1836 01:12:45,863 --> 01:12:48,157 Come on, Roger. Get some! Let's get in there! 1837 01:12:48,323 --> 01:12:50,576 - Come on! - No, no, no, no, no! 1838 01:12:50,743 --> 01:12:52,953 If you lay one hand on each other, 1839 01:12:53,037 --> 01:12:54,413 whether the kids are here or not, 1840 01:12:54,580 --> 01:12:56,749 it will negatively impact them. 1841 01:12:57,332 --> 01:12:59,668 All right. I'm not gonna lay a hand on him. 1842 01:13:01,587 --> 01:13:02,921 What are you doing? 1843 01:13:03,088 --> 01:13:05,674 Oh. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah. Snowball fight. 1844 01:13:05,841 --> 01:13:08,218 I've got some Nerf guns in the back of my car. 1845 01:13:08,302 --> 01:13:09,595 Want me to get them? 1846 01:13:09,762 --> 01:13:11,930 I pitched triple-A for the Red Sox in their 1847 01:13:12,014 --> 01:13:13,265 farm system, Roger Don't say I didn't warn you. 1848 01:13:13,432 --> 01:13:15,184 Take your best shot. 1849 01:13:19,438 --> 01:13:20,522 Dad! 1850 01:13:20,856 --> 01:13:22,274 Don, I'm sorry! 1851 01:13:23,650 --> 01:13:24,985 That sucks. 1852 01:13:25,444 --> 01:13:28,113 - I'm so sorry. - Oh, no, no, it was all right. 1853 01:13:30,157 --> 01:13:31,825 Hey, no fair. That's an ice ball. 1854 01:13:31,992 --> 01:13:32,993 You bet it is. 1855 01:13:33,077 --> 01:13:34,953 You know, you throw that and we are no longer co-dads. 1856 01:13:35,079 --> 01:13:36,455 Oh, I'm way ahead of you, dickhead. 1857 01:13:36,538 --> 01:13:37,539 You know, from now on, 1858 01:13:37,623 --> 01:13:38,749 we'll just act like a normal blended family 1859 01:13:38,832 --> 01:13:40,000 with me hating your guts. 1860 01:13:40,084 --> 01:13:41,085 The kids will never know, 1861 01:13:41,168 --> 01:13:42,419 because I'm too good of a dad to 1862 01:13:42,503 --> 01:13:44,213 ever throw their stepfather under the bus. 1863 01:13:44,379 --> 01:13:45,756 But that's right where you're gonna be, Brad. 1864 01:13:45,839 --> 01:13:47,674 Under my bus. 1865 01:13:47,841 --> 01:13:49,259 Well, guess what, I'm gonna celebrate you 1866 01:13:49,343 --> 01:13:50,677 morning, noon and night 1867 01:13:50,844 --> 01:13:52,054 because it's the right thing to do 1868 01:13:52,137 --> 01:13:53,180 in front of the kids. 1869 01:13:53,347 --> 01:13:55,182 But just know the way I really feel about you 1870 01:13:55,265 --> 01:13:57,226 is you can suck a fart, Dusty. 1871 01:13:57,518 --> 01:14:00,187 A wet, greasy fart. 1872 01:14:02,773 --> 01:14:04,399 You gonna keep pump-faking that thing 1873 01:14:04,483 --> 01:14:05,609 or you gonna take a shot, Brad? 1874 01:14:05,692 --> 01:14:06,693 Huh? 1875 01:14:07,111 --> 01:14:10,114 What? What? Huh? 1876 01:14:10,447 --> 01:14:11,949 He's never played sports ever. 1877 01:14:12,032 --> 01:14:13,575 Maybe it's stuck to his hand. 1878 01:14:13,659 --> 01:14:15,077 Oh! Oh! 1879 01:14:16,078 --> 01:14:17,955 Huh? Huh? 1880 01:14:25,045 --> 01:14:26,463 That's what I thought. 1881 01:14:26,630 --> 01:14:28,006 You know what, Dusty, you're not worth it. 1882 01:14:28,090 --> 01:14:29,216 Come on, Dad. 1883 01:14:29,383 --> 01:14:30,509 Good. 1884 01:14:30,717 --> 01:14:32,302 Psych. You're totally worth it! 1885 01:14:33,720 --> 01:14:34,721 Dad! 1886 01:14:36,306 --> 01:14:38,976 - That was an ice ball. - Treating your dad like that! 1887 01:14:39,143 --> 01:14:40,144 Dad. 1888 01:14:40,561 --> 01:14:42,563 Look, it was an accident. 1889 01:14:45,357 --> 01:14:46,525 Go ahead, Roger. 1890 01:14:46,984 --> 01:14:48,986 Brad was right the first time. 1891 01:14:49,653 --> 01:14:51,155 You're not worth it. 1892 01:14:53,198 --> 01:14:55,200 Dang! Right down my neck! 1893 01:14:55,409 --> 01:14:56,577 Don! Sorry! Sorry! 1894 01:14:57,911 --> 01:14:59,913 That guy's like a snowball magnet. 1895 01:15:00,122 --> 01:15:02,457 You were right about everything. You happy now? 1896 01:15:02,791 --> 01:15:04,543 Ah, Dusty, 1897 01:15:05,210 --> 01:15:07,045 I do like being right. 1898 01:15:11,717 --> 01:15:12,885 Hey, is that your baby in there? 1899 01:15:12,968 --> 01:15:13,969 Griffy! 1900 01:15:15,345 --> 01:15:17,973 I know. I know, sweetie. It's okay, it's okay. 1901 01:15:18,140 --> 01:15:19,808 I know, I know. 1902 01:15:20,100 --> 01:15:22,769 This was Dusty's idea. I never wanted to do this. 1903 01:16:00,557 --> 01:16:02,559 Hey, Brad. That one's mine. 1904 01:16:03,644 --> 01:16:05,979 - Oh, is this bag yours? - Yeah. 1905 01:16:11,652 --> 01:16:13,362 Sara? Sara! 1906 01:16:35,342 --> 01:16:36,802 - Oh, my gosh. - Ew. 1907 01:16:36,885 --> 01:16:38,679 What is going on here? 1908 01:16:43,433 --> 01:16:44,434 What's happening, Officer? 1909 01:16:44,518 --> 01:16:46,687 Avalanche hit the highway up ahead. 1910 01:16:46,853 --> 01:16:48,522 It's gonna take a few hours to clear it, 1911 01:16:48,605 --> 01:16:50,274 so follow the traffic back into town, all right? 1912 01:16:51,108 --> 01:16:53,610 What caused the avalanche? Was it all the snow? 1913 01:16:53,777 --> 01:16:54,987 Yeah, I'm pretty sure 1914 01:16:55,070 --> 01:16:56,947 snow had something to do with the avalanche. 1915 01:16:57,114 --> 01:16:58,865 Keep it moving! 1916 01:17:03,203 --> 01:17:06,373 Well, I guess we could stop and have lunch to kill time. 1917 01:17:06,540 --> 01:17:08,208 On Christmas Day? 1918 01:17:08,625 --> 01:17:11,378 - What's gonna be open? - I don't know. 1919 01:17:17,676 --> 01:17:19,177 Oh, look at that! 1920 01:17:20,345 --> 01:17:21,888 Looks like everyone had the same idea. 1921 01:17:34,651 --> 01:17:37,195 Oh, no. Everything's sold out. 1922 01:17:37,487 --> 01:17:38,613 Well, I guess we could see Missile Tow. 1923 01:17:38,697 --> 01:17:39,740 What's that about? 1924 01:17:39,906 --> 01:17:40,991 It's Liam Neeson. 1925 01:17:41,158 --> 01:17:42,409 He's a tow truck driver 1926 01:17:42,492 --> 01:17:43,744 who's on his way home for Christmas 1927 01:17:43,827 --> 01:17:44,911 with his kids and 1928 01:17:45,078 --> 01:17:46,496 happens along some terrorists 1929 01:17:46,580 --> 01:17:48,290 who've hijacked a mobile ICBM. 1930 01:17:48,457 --> 01:17:49,541 So he hooks it to his rig 1931 01:17:49,624 --> 01:17:51,460 and has to get it to NORAD before Christmas morning. 1932 01:17:51,626 --> 01:17:53,128 I hear it's really good! 1933 01:17:53,295 --> 01:17:55,630 I don't know, Brad, it's PG-13. 1934 01:17:55,797 --> 01:17:58,592 I don't really care for the salty language. 1935 01:17:58,759 --> 01:17:59,968 Well, it has cute little kids in it. 1936 01:18:00,052 --> 01:18:01,053 I mean, how dirty can it be? 1937 01:18:01,261 --> 01:18:02,304 Besides, you love Liam Neeson. 1938 01:18:02,387 --> 01:18:03,388 I do. 1939 01:18:03,555 --> 01:18:05,057 - Let's just give it a shot. - Yes! 1940 01:18:05,223 --> 01:18:06,808 Looks very heroic. 1941 01:18:06,892 --> 01:18:09,019 - I'll say that much. - I mean, really. Man! 1942 01:18:11,355 --> 01:18:13,732 The front row? I don't know, Brad. 1943 01:18:13,899 --> 01:18:15,150 - What about the... - Dad, please stop! 1944 01:18:15,317 --> 01:18:16,526 It's gonna strain your eyes. 1945 01:18:16,610 --> 01:18:17,986 We don't have a choice, all right? 1946 01:18:19,821 --> 01:18:21,490 Look, it's Mom and Brad! 1947 01:18:23,742 --> 01:18:25,911 Santa's got a present for you bastards. 1948 01:18:35,253 --> 01:18:37,339 You're impounded, asshole. 1949 01:18:38,090 --> 01:18:40,175 - You did it, Daddy! - You killed them all. 1950 01:18:40,509 --> 01:18:43,261 No, kids. We did it. We killed them all. 1951 01:18:43,595 --> 01:18:44,930 Together. 1952 01:18:45,097 --> 01:18:46,515 We love you, Daddy. 1953 01:18:46,848 --> 01:18:48,433 I love you, too. 1954 01:18:48,892 --> 01:18:51,728 The only thing that matters to me in this crazy world 1955 01:18:52,145 --> 01:18:53,563 is you kids. 1956 01:18:54,564 --> 01:18:56,566 And I'm sorry your holiday was ruined 1957 01:18:56,650 --> 01:18:58,652 by those godless mother... 1958 01:19:05,409 --> 01:19:06,493 Sorry, folks. 1959 01:19:06,576 --> 01:19:08,245 Looks like we're having a bit of a power outage. 1960 01:19:08,537 --> 01:19:10,497 Uh, we don't know when the power's gonna come back on, 1961 01:19:10,664 --> 01:19:11,957 so you guys are all welcome 1962 01:19:12,040 --> 01:19:13,208 to stay in here or in the lobby. 1963 01:19:13,375 --> 01:19:14,584 The DOT wants everybody 1964 01:19:14,668 --> 01:19:16,044 to stay inside and off the roads, 1965 01:19:16,128 --> 01:19:17,379 so we might be in here for a while. 1966 01:19:20,048 --> 01:19:22,050 You know, I bet this is because of the snow, too. 1967 01:19:22,384 --> 01:19:24,219 Gee, Dad, you think so? 1968 01:19:50,370 --> 01:19:51,788 I need to use the gent's. 1969 01:19:51,872 --> 01:19:53,373 Brad, do you need to go tee-tee? 1970 01:19:53,540 --> 01:19:55,000 Dad, don't say that in public! 1971 01:19:55,083 --> 01:19:56,126 - Just go. - All right. 1972 01:19:58,628 --> 01:20:00,297 Is he still looking at me? 1973 01:20:01,298 --> 01:20:02,299 Yes. 1974 01:20:02,466 --> 01:20:05,135 Is he doing that one look that he does? You know, like... 1975 01:20:07,012 --> 01:20:08,889 - Is he doing that look? - Yeah. 1976 01:20:09,222 --> 01:20:11,349 Where he doesn't blink? Yeah. 1977 01:20:12,726 --> 01:20:13,727 Yep. 1978 01:20:14,478 --> 01:20:15,729 You know, 1979 01:20:15,979 --> 01:20:17,022 when I said that 1980 01:20:17,105 --> 01:20:18,773 Brad was turning you into something that you're not? 1981 01:20:19,858 --> 01:20:22,444 Maybe, you know, what I really meant to say 1982 01:20:22,777 --> 01:20:24,112 was that 1983 01:20:24,779 --> 01:20:27,199 Brad's turning you into something that I'm not, 1984 01:20:27,574 --> 01:20:28,825 a good dad. 1985 01:20:30,535 --> 01:20:32,245 No? No, that didn't do it for you? 1986 01:20:32,329 --> 01:20:33,371 Come on. I thought it was pretty good. 1987 01:20:33,538 --> 01:20:35,457 That whole speech was in the movie we just saw. 1988 01:20:35,624 --> 01:20:36,875 - Was it? - Yeah. Word for word. 1989 01:20:36,958 --> 01:20:38,043 Dramatic pauses and all. 1990 01:20:38,210 --> 01:20:39,586 Liam Neeson just said that. 1991 01:20:39,669 --> 01:20:41,713 Oh, it must've been in my subconscious. 1992 01:20:42,005 --> 01:20:43,089 I'm gonna go drain the lizard. 1993 01:20:43,173 --> 01:20:44,174 Yeah. Yeah. 1994 01:20:49,304 --> 01:20:51,806 Whoa! That is a very impressive 1995 01:20:51,973 --> 01:20:55,393 watch. Is that a Rolex? Mine's a Casio. 1996 01:21:04,361 --> 01:21:06,279 You know what, Kurt? 1997 01:21:06,446 --> 01:21:07,447 When we first met, 1998 01:21:07,531 --> 01:21:10,116 I was so excited about our being co-grandpas. 1999 01:21:10,450 --> 01:21:13,537 And now everybody's miserable! And my son won't forgive me. 2000 01:21:14,871 --> 01:21:17,040 You know what you and Brad really need? 2001 01:21:17,207 --> 01:21:18,542 Oh, no. 2002 01:21:18,959 --> 01:21:21,628 I'm not taking any advice from the likes of you. 2003 01:21:21,711 --> 01:21:22,796 No, thank you. 2004 01:21:26,383 --> 01:21:27,884 Okay, what do we need? 2005 01:21:31,221 --> 01:21:33,223 - Hey! Adrianna's here! - Megan! 2006 01:21:33,390 --> 01:21:34,432 Hi! 2007 01:21:34,516 --> 01:21:37,102 - I can't shake this guy. - I can't shake this guy. 2008 01:21:37,269 --> 01:21:38,853 - You guys got stuck here, too? - Yeah. 2009 01:21:39,020 --> 01:21:41,773 And, Dylan, look who else got stuck. Your girlfriend! 2010 01:21:42,607 --> 01:21:43,775 We should put her under the mistletoe. 2011 01:21:43,858 --> 01:21:44,859 Yeah! 2012 01:21:45,068 --> 01:21:46,903 - Come on, stay under. - Stay. 2013 01:21:50,031 --> 01:21:52,033 You like that girl, don't you? 2014 01:21:53,159 --> 01:21:54,202 Hmm. 2015 01:21:54,286 --> 01:21:55,287 Well, 2016 01:21:55,453 --> 01:21:57,872 who knocked down a pin all by himself? 2017 01:21:58,707 --> 01:22:00,709 - I did? - Damn right, you did. 2018 01:22:00,875 --> 01:22:02,877 Now go in there and pick up that spare. 2019 01:22:03,044 --> 01:22:05,213 Here she is, Dylan! 2020 01:22:05,880 --> 01:22:07,632 It just doesn't seem right. 2021 01:22:09,426 --> 01:22:10,427 Brad? 2022 01:22:10,677 --> 01:22:12,762 Dad, I really don't want to dis... 2023 01:22:12,971 --> 01:22:14,639 Jeez. 2024 01:22:14,723 --> 01:22:17,642 We're gonna settle this physically, like men! 2025 01:22:17,809 --> 01:22:19,978 And when it's all over, we're gonna feel a whole lot better. 2026 01:22:20,145 --> 01:22:22,147 At least somebody's taking my advice today. 2027 01:22:22,314 --> 01:22:23,857 Cut it out! This is child abuse! Honey, help me! 2028 01:22:23,940 --> 01:22:25,567 Don't be such a snowflake. Fight back! 2029 01:22:25,650 --> 01:22:26,651 Hey, guys, come on, knock it off. 2030 01:22:26,735 --> 01:22:27,736 You're making a scene, all right? 2031 01:22:27,902 --> 01:22:29,070 Yeah, Don, lean on him! 2032 01:22:29,237 --> 01:22:31,698 Engage me, son, for the sake of our male bond. 2033 01:22:34,075 --> 01:22:35,577 No, wait, wait, look. Look! 2034 01:22:40,457 --> 01:22:41,791 What's he doing? 2035 01:22:47,964 --> 01:22:49,799 Oh, my God. He's going in for his first kiss. 2036 01:22:49,966 --> 01:22:51,509 Look, she's standing under the mistletoe. 2037 01:22:51,593 --> 01:22:52,969 Oh, my God. Where's my phone? Where my phone? 2038 01:22:53,303 --> 01:22:54,638 Oh, my God, where's your phone? 2039 01:22:54,721 --> 01:22:55,972 Brad, where's your phone! 2040 01:22:56,139 --> 01:22:57,557 Okay, it's right here. Right here. Yeah. Yeah. 2041 01:22:59,517 --> 01:23:01,686 Look how brave he is. She's all yours, buddy. 2042 01:23:02,854 --> 01:23:03,855 Unless she's got a boyfriend. 2043 01:23:03,938 --> 01:23:05,023 In that case, there's always the Friend Zone. 2044 01:23:05,106 --> 01:23:06,316 No, there's nothing wrong with the Friend Zone. 2045 01:23:06,399 --> 01:23:07,567 Guys, he's not going in the Friend Zone, okay? 2046 01:23:07,734 --> 01:23:08,902 Look at that smile. She likes him. 2047 01:23:08,985 --> 01:23:10,570 Yeah, she wants a kiss. 2048 01:23:37,639 --> 01:23:39,140 My God, he kissed his sister! 2049 01:23:39,307 --> 01:23:41,476 Congratulations, you lucky gal. 2050 01:23:42,477 --> 01:23:44,896 I did it, El Padre! I kissed the girl I like! 2051 01:23:45,063 --> 01:23:47,732 Yeah! Attaboy! 2052 01:23:48,066 --> 01:23:51,152 Whoa! Did you just kiss your sister? You sick kid! 2053 01:23:51,319 --> 01:23:52,404 Stepsister. 2054 01:23:52,654 --> 01:23:54,364 I mean, still not okay, I know that. 2055 01:23:54,447 --> 01:23:56,074 What? No, no, wait, he's just a little confused, all right? 2056 01:23:56,157 --> 01:23:57,909 It's no surprise when you look at who raised him. 2057 01:23:58,076 --> 01:23:59,828 Adrianna, come on. We're going home. 2058 01:24:00,203 --> 01:24:02,205 Wait, wait, Roger, you can't go out in that storm. 2059 01:24:02,372 --> 01:24:03,498 I was an alternate for Season 3 2060 01:24:03,581 --> 01:24:04,624 Ice Road Truckers. 2061 01:24:04,791 --> 01:24:06,626 - I'll be fine. - Oh. 2062 01:24:07,293 --> 01:24:08,628 That was their best season. 2063 01:24:09,421 --> 01:24:10,755 I got this. 2064 01:24:11,089 --> 01:24:12,674 Wait a minute. Roger, hold up, man. 2065 01:24:12,841 --> 01:24:15,343 No. From now on, I don't want you anywhere near my daughter. 2066 01:24:15,510 --> 01:24:17,178 I don't want anything to do with any of you people! 2067 01:24:17,345 --> 01:24:18,346 Look, I never wanted to be 2068 01:24:18,430 --> 01:24:19,431 family with you, either, Roger. 2069 01:24:19,514 --> 01:24:20,765 Just like Brad never wanted to be family with me, 2070 01:24:20,849 --> 01:24:21,850 did you, Brad? 2071 01:24:22,016 --> 01:24:23,852 No. Not at all. I hated your guts. 2072 01:24:24,018 --> 01:24:25,770 In fact, I still kind of do right now. 2073 01:24:25,937 --> 01:24:27,188 Yeah. Me, too, Brad. 2074 01:24:27,355 --> 01:24:28,773 But we're all connected by these kids. 2075 01:24:28,857 --> 01:24:29,899 No one's going anywhere. 2076 01:24:30,316 --> 01:24:32,235 - You gonna stop me? - If I have to, yes. 2077 01:24:32,402 --> 01:24:34,446 Yeah, right. You couldn't stop a clock, you weak tit. 2078 01:24:35,655 --> 01:24:37,240 The hammer. 2079 01:24:40,201 --> 01:24:41,536 You know what, Adrianna? 2080 01:24:42,036 --> 01:24:43,204 You're not gonna like this, young lady, 2081 01:24:43,288 --> 01:24:45,039 but this is long overdue. 2082 01:24:48,543 --> 01:24:49,544 I love you. 2083 01:24:49,711 --> 01:24:50,712 Aww. 2084 01:24:51,379 --> 01:24:53,131 - That got me. - Got me, too. Right here. 2085 01:24:53,298 --> 01:24:54,340 What the hell did you just say? 2086 01:24:54,424 --> 01:24:55,967 You heard me. I said, I love my stepdaughter! 2087 01:24:56,134 --> 01:24:58,553 And I meant it. I should've said it a long time ago, 2088 01:24:58,720 --> 01:25:00,138 but I was afraid to put myself out there 2089 01:25:00,221 --> 01:25:02,056 - and risk getting rejected. - Aww. 2090 01:25:02,557 --> 01:25:03,600 Sweet. 2091 01:25:03,683 --> 01:25:05,018 You know what? 2092 01:25:05,643 --> 01:25:08,146 Adrianna, you're gonna spend Christmas with your mom, okay? 2093 01:25:10,315 --> 01:25:11,983 You're not leaving us, Roger. 2094 01:25:12,484 --> 01:25:13,985 'Cause I love you, too. 2095 01:25:16,404 --> 01:25:18,406 - You take that back! - Nope. I can't. 2096 01:25:18,573 --> 01:25:19,616 Can't take it back now. 2097 01:25:19,699 --> 01:25:21,493 Everybody heard it. It's out there. 2098 01:25:21,659 --> 01:25:23,536 - Everybody hear it? - Yeah. 2099 01:25:24,496 --> 01:25:26,122 You're her dad, you made her who she is, 2100 01:25:26,206 --> 01:25:27,373 and despite her currently harboring 2101 01:25:27,457 --> 01:25:29,000 a fair amount of resentment towards me, 2102 01:25:29,167 --> 01:25:31,252 I love her, so that means I love you, too. 2103 01:25:31,586 --> 01:25:33,379 And I've never been too good about saying it, 2104 01:25:33,463 --> 01:25:34,923 but I'm gonna follow Brad's example, 2105 01:25:35,089 --> 01:25:36,174 who I also love. 2106 01:25:36,341 --> 01:25:38,426 Now you're just saying things to choke me up. 2107 01:25:38,593 --> 01:25:39,761 Brad! Cut it out. 2108 01:25:39,886 --> 01:25:41,846 - I'm trying. - I'm a hot mess here. 2109 01:25:41,930 --> 01:25:42,931 Don, please! 2110 01:25:43,097 --> 01:25:44,182 You've got to understand, 2111 01:25:44,265 --> 01:25:45,517 when it comes out of nowhere like that, 2112 01:25:45,600 --> 01:25:46,601 what do you expect? 2113 01:25:46,768 --> 01:25:47,977 - Stop! - I'm stopping. 2114 01:25:48,061 --> 01:25:49,062 - I'm currently stopping. - We're... 2115 01:25:49,229 --> 01:25:51,397 Yeah, guys. Cut it out, you're embarrassing me. 2116 01:25:51,564 --> 01:25:52,690 I love you, Brad. 2117 01:25:53,066 --> 01:25:54,818 And I love Karen, I love Sara, 2118 01:25:55,735 --> 01:25:57,403 and I love my kids. 2119 01:26:00,323 --> 01:26:01,574 I, uh, 2120 01:26:05,203 --> 01:26:06,538 I might need a little more time with that one. 2121 01:26:06,621 --> 01:26:07,622 Sure, understood. 2122 01:26:07,789 --> 01:26:09,833 But we're making progress. Maybe for your birthday. 2123 01:26:09,999 --> 01:26:11,000 Yeah. 2124 01:26:11,084 --> 01:26:12,126 You know. Unless you want to say anything? 2125 01:26:12,877 --> 01:26:14,712 - Anything at all? - Say it, Kurt. 2126 01:26:14,879 --> 01:26:16,714 - Now's the time. - Just say it, Kurt. 2127 01:26:16,881 --> 01:26:17,882 You want to say anything? 2128 01:26:17,966 --> 01:26:19,217 It's not that bad. Just say it. 2129 01:26:19,384 --> 01:26:21,261 - You can do it. - Do it. 2130 01:26:22,303 --> 01:26:24,806 Nah, the birthday's a good target. Good target. 2131 01:26:25,181 --> 01:26:27,100 All right, Roger, what do you say? 2132 01:26:27,308 --> 01:26:29,811 It's not too late to spend Christmas with your family. 2133 01:26:48,913 --> 01:26:51,499 It's Christmastime 2134 01:26:52,834 --> 01:26:56,170 There's no need to be afraid, Roger 2135 01:26:57,380 --> 01:26:59,382 At Christmastime 2136 01:27:00,216 --> 01:27:03,219 We let in light and we banish shade 2137 01:27:03,428 --> 01:27:05,430 Damn, that's my favorite song of all time. 2138 01:27:05,597 --> 01:27:09,767 And in our world of plenty 2139 01:27:10,059 --> 01:27:13,563 We can spread a smile of joy 2140 01:27:14,230 --> 01:27:17,567 Throw your arms around the world 2141 01:27:17,901 --> 01:27:19,235 At Christmastime 2142 01:27:22,447 --> 01:27:24,157 But say a prayer 2143 01:27:26,492 --> 01:27:28,912 Pray for the other ones! 2144 01:27:29,078 --> 01:27:31,080 I'll play this in August, I don't even care. 2145 01:27:31,247 --> 01:27:32,916 At Christmastime 2146 01:27:33,249 --> 01:27:38,254 It's hard, but when you're having fun 2147 01:27:38,838 --> 01:27:43,176 There's a world outside your window 2148 01:27:43,760 --> 01:27:47,513 It's a world of dread and fear 2149 01:27:47,805 --> 01:27:51,976 Where the only water flowing is 2150 01:27:52,310 --> 01:27:55,146 The bitter sting of tears 2151 01:27:56,230 --> 01:27:59,984 And the Christmas bells that ring there 2152 01:28:00,318 --> 01:28:03,821 Are the clanging chimes of doom 2153 01:28:04,155 --> 01:28:07,158 Well, tonight thank God it's them 2154 01:28:07,992 --> 01:28:10,495 Instead of you 2155 01:28:11,287 --> 01:28:13,039 Yes! Fantastic! 2156 01:28:17,961 --> 01:28:19,545 He heard it! 2157 01:28:29,430 --> 01:28:30,765 Come on, Roger. 2158 01:28:31,975 --> 01:28:34,060 Look. Yes, we're all stuck here, 2159 01:28:34,394 --> 01:28:36,145 but we're with our loved ones. 2160 01:28:36,312 --> 01:28:38,314 I'm not. I came alone. 2161 01:28:38,481 --> 01:28:39,941 Oh. Okay, well, 2162 01:28:40,024 --> 01:28:41,275 he came to the movies alone on Christmas, 2163 01:28:41,359 --> 01:28:42,485 and that's a little sad. 2164 01:28:42,652 --> 01:28:44,612 That's a little sad! 2165 01:28:45,655 --> 01:28:47,156 But you're not alone, sir. 2166 01:28:47,323 --> 01:28:48,324 I mean, think about it. 2167 01:28:48,408 --> 01:28:49,909 We come to the movies all the time. 2168 01:28:50,493 --> 01:28:52,412 We sit with hundreds of people. 2169 01:28:52,745 --> 01:28:55,999 And we laugh together, we cry together, 2170 01:28:56,332 --> 01:28:58,501 but we never look at each other, do we? 2171 01:28:58,751 --> 01:29:01,421 Brad, it's not a microphone, it's a mallet. See? 2172 01:29:01,671 --> 01:29:03,673 - They can hear you. - You can still hear me, right? 2173 01:29:03,756 --> 01:29:05,008 - Yeah. - Yeah. 2174 01:29:05,174 --> 01:29:06,676 Take a look at each other. 2175 01:29:07,093 --> 01:29:08,177 - That's right. - Hi. 2176 01:29:08,928 --> 01:29:11,597 Give a hug. Give an embrace. 2177 01:29:11,931 --> 01:29:13,433 What we have here are the makings 2178 01:29:13,516 --> 01:29:15,435 of a really great Christmas party. 2179 01:29:15,727 --> 01:29:19,230 We have a Christmas tree. We have music and snacks. 2180 01:29:19,480 --> 01:29:22,442 We have Christmas spirit. We have mirth. 2181 01:29:22,650 --> 01:29:24,068 We have snow! 2182 01:29:24,152 --> 01:29:25,319 You know who doesn't have snow? 2183 01:29:26,195 --> 01:29:28,364 I'll bet he knows who doesn't have snow, don't you? 2184 01:29:30,992 --> 01:29:33,327 Yeah. Yeah, I know. 2185 01:29:33,953 --> 01:29:35,788 I know where there isn't snow. 2186 01:29:36,372 --> 01:29:39,876 And there won't be snow in Africa 2187 01:29:40,501 --> 01:29:43,171 This Christmastime! 2188 01:29:45,256 --> 01:29:50,261 Do they know it's Christmastime at all? 2189 01:29:53,222 --> 01:29:54,640 Merry Christmas! 2190 01:29:54,849 --> 01:29:56,267 Merry Christmas, folks! 2191 01:29:57,852 --> 01:30:01,647 Feed the world 2192 01:30:01,981 --> 01:30:05,735 Let them know it's Christmastime 2193 01:30:06,069 --> 01:30:08,154 Feed the world 2194 01:30:08,237 --> 01:30:09,280 What? 2195 01:30:10,239 --> 01:30:12,742 Let them know it's Christmastime 2196 01:30:12,909 --> 01:30:14,410 "Sara. 2197 01:30:15,078 --> 01:30:16,746 "Beautiful and smart. 2198 01:30:17,080 --> 01:30:19,415 "The mom that everyone loves"? 2199 01:30:20,041 --> 01:30:22,710 Oh, my God. She's basing a character on me! 2200 01:30:59,747 --> 01:31:00,748 All right, guys. 2201 01:31:00,915 --> 01:31:02,166 We're not gonna see them again till Easter, 2202 01:31:02,250 --> 01:31:03,835 so everybody say good-bye to El Padre and Pop-Pop. 2203 01:31:04,001 --> 01:31:05,503 - Bye, Dylan. - Good-bye, El Padre! 2204 01:31:05,795 --> 01:31:07,296 Hey, next time you want to shoot a guy, 2205 01:31:07,380 --> 01:31:09,799 don't just wing him, go for center mass, okay? 2206 01:31:10,133 --> 01:31:11,134 Good-bye, Adrianna. 2207 01:31:13,511 --> 01:31:15,346 I don't want you to go, Pop-Pop! 2208 01:31:15,513 --> 01:31:16,681 - Oh, really? - Yeah, really? 2209 01:31:16,848 --> 01:31:18,224 Oh, sure. Of course, he gets a hug. 2210 01:31:18,391 --> 01:31:19,517 Maybe you can call me 2211 01:31:19,600 --> 01:31:20,977 and tell me more Pop-Pop stories. 2212 01:31:21,144 --> 01:31:22,645 I would love to! 2213 01:31:22,812 --> 01:31:25,106 Oh. And I also signed you up for SeniorMatch.com. 2214 01:31:25,314 --> 01:31:27,441 It's a dating website for old people like you. 2215 01:31:27,608 --> 01:31:29,110 Thank you, sweetie. 2216 01:31:29,986 --> 01:31:31,779 Oh, honey, it's your mom texting. 2217 01:31:31,863 --> 01:31:33,406 They're just getting off the plane. 2218 01:31:33,573 --> 01:31:35,032 I'd better go before they get here. 2219 01:31:35,116 --> 01:31:36,909 I don't want to make anything awkward. 2220 01:31:37,160 --> 01:31:38,995 - Bye, Dad. - Bye, big man. 2221 01:31:39,328 --> 01:31:41,831 - Love you. - I love you, too, Brad. 2222 01:31:43,082 --> 01:31:45,084 Hey, well, yeah, you have a good flight. 2223 01:31:58,639 --> 01:32:00,433 Yeah, let's not get that going. 2224 01:32:00,600 --> 01:32:01,809 I agree. You've got to start that younger. 2225 01:32:01,893 --> 01:32:02,977 We missed that window. 2226 01:32:03,144 --> 01:32:04,145 I really appreciate the gesture. 2227 01:32:04,228 --> 01:32:05,479 You do? Oh, then okay. 2228 01:32:05,646 --> 01:32:07,481 - Hey. I'll see you, kid. - See you soon, yeah. 2229 01:32:07,648 --> 01:32:08,733 Yeah, bye, kid. 2230 01:32:09,150 --> 01:32:11,485 - Are you coming, Pop-Pop? - Come on, Captain! 2231 01:32:12,153 --> 01:32:13,154 Bye, Dad. 2232 01:32:14,113 --> 01:32:16,032 You know, Don, I've been thinking. 2233 01:32:16,115 --> 01:32:17,450 You don't need a dating app. 2234 01:32:17,617 --> 01:32:19,785 What you need is a wingman. 2235 01:32:20,077 --> 01:32:21,412 I switched our flights to Vegas. 2236 01:32:21,495 --> 01:32:23,497 New Year's at Caesar's, fix you right up. 2237 01:32:23,664 --> 01:32:25,416 Oh, that sounds wonderful! 2238 01:32:25,833 --> 01:32:27,752 Where are we connecting through? 2239 01:32:27,835 --> 01:32:29,170 Don't start with me, Pop-Pop. 2240 01:32:29,921 --> 01:32:31,923 Hey, Braddie. Don't be nervous now. 2241 01:32:32,173 --> 01:32:33,299 You are the kindest, 2242 01:32:33,382 --> 01:32:35,760 most gentle and honest guy I know. 2243 01:32:36,093 --> 01:32:38,512 And whoever your mother brings down that escalator, 2244 01:32:38,679 --> 01:32:39,972 he's gonna love you, you hear me? 2245 01:32:40,056 --> 01:32:41,349 Grandma! 2246 01:32:45,519 --> 01:32:47,021 Is that Sully? 2247 01:32:47,730 --> 01:32:48,898 Wait, wait, who? 2248 01:32:49,148 --> 01:32:50,566 Sully Sullenberger. 2249 01:32:50,650 --> 01:32:52,235 The guy who saved 155 passengers 2250 01:32:52,318 --> 01:32:53,486 on the miracle on the Hudson! 2251 01:32:53,653 --> 01:32:55,154 Clint Eastwood made a frickin' movie about it. 2252 01:32:55,238 --> 01:32:56,906 Wait. We watched it at your house, it was awesome! 2253 01:32:57,073 --> 01:32:58,241 Right. Tom Hanks and Aaron Eckhart. 2254 01:32:58,324 --> 01:32:59,408 I really enjoyed it. 2255 01:32:59,575 --> 01:33:00,785 That guy is a national hero, 2256 01:33:00,868 --> 01:33:02,495 and he's gonna be your stepdad. 2257 01:33:02,870 --> 01:33:03,955 Wow, amazing. 2258 01:33:04,121 --> 01:33:06,040 I bet you he gets free flight vouchers. 2259 01:33:06,207 --> 01:33:07,208 And maybe get us some vouchers! 2260 01:33:07,291 --> 01:33:08,292 Maybe. 2261 01:33:08,376 --> 01:33:11,462 Well, don't make him wait. Go say hi. Go! Go! 2262 01:33:11,754 --> 01:33:12,755 Grandma! 2263 01:33:14,340 --> 01:33:16,342 You must be Brad. 2264 01:33:16,425 --> 01:33:17,426 Nope. 2265 01:33:17,593 --> 01:33:19,303 - No, Brad. - You're not my dad! 2266 01:33:19,470 --> 01:33:20,638 Brad, no, that's a mistake! 2267 01:33:20,805 --> 01:33:22,640 I don't care how many lives you saved! 2268 01:33:22,723 --> 01:33:25,101 You'll never replace him, do you hear me? 2269 01:33:27,436 --> 01:33:29,313 Brad, he's so nice! Come back! 2270 01:33:29,480 --> 01:33:33,234 You only have one good story, my father has a million! 2271 01:35:12,833 --> 01:35:14,627 You're listening to Jason Sinclair at the Panda, 2272 01:35:14,710 --> 01:35:17,088 and I've got a little holiday recipe for you tonight. 2273 01:35:17,171 --> 01:35:20,216 Two cups of eggnog, one serving of silk pajamas, 2274 01:35:20,299 --> 01:35:22,718 and a heaping helping of a loved one. 2275 01:35:22,802 --> 01:35:25,388 And I'm gonna add a pinch of smooth jazz 2276 01:35:25,471 --> 01:35:26,806 on the Panda. 2277 01:35:26,972 --> 01:35:28,808 And I have one question for you. 2278 01:35:28,891 --> 01:35:30,142 Do you know what time it is? 2279 01:35:30,226 --> 01:35:32,269 It's Christmastime 2280 01:35:33,979 --> 01:35:38,192 There's no need to be afraid, Roger 2281 01:35:38,567 --> 01:35:44,907 At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade 2282 01:35:46,492 --> 01:35:51,247 And in our world of plenty 2283 01:35:51,330 --> 01:35:55,334 We can spread a smile of joy 2284 01:35:55,584 --> 01:35:58,838 Throw your arms around the world 2285 01:35:58,921 --> 01:36:01,340 At Christmastime 2286 01:36:03,509 --> 01:36:05,219 But say a prayer 2287 01:36:07,555 --> 01:36:09,974 Pray for the other ones! 2288 01:36:11,851 --> 01:36:13,519 At Christmastime 2289 01:36:13,853 --> 01:36:18,858 It's hard, but when you're having fun 2290 01:36:20,192 --> 01:36:24,530 There's a world outside your window 2291 01:36:25,114 --> 01:36:28,868 It's a world of dread and fear 2292 01:36:29,160 --> 01:36:33,330 Where the only water flowing is 2293 01:36:33,664 --> 01:36:36,500 The bitter sting of tears 2294 01:36:37,585 --> 01:36:39,128 And the Christmas bells 2295 01:36:39,211 --> 01:36:41,338 That ring there 2296 01:36:41,672 --> 01:36:45,176 Are the clanging chimes of doom 2297 01:36:45,509 --> 01:36:48,512 Well, tonight thank God it's them 2298 01:36:49,346 --> 01:36:51,849 Instead of you 2299 01:36:53,934 --> 01:36:57,438 And there won't be snow in Africa 2300 01:36:58,063 --> 01:37:00,733 This Christmastime! 2301 01:37:02,776 --> 01:37:07,740 The greatest gift they'll get this year is life 2302 01:37:08,199 --> 01:37:10,701 Life, life 2303 01:37:10,784 --> 01:37:14,872 Where nothing ever grows 2304 01:37:14,955 --> 01:37:18,626 No rain nor rivers flow 2305 01:37:19,668 --> 01:37:24,590 Do they know it's Christmastime at all? 2306 01:37:28,010 --> 01:37:29,678 Here's to you 2307 01:37:29,762 --> 01:37:32,223 Raise a glass for everyone 2308 01:37:32,306 --> 01:37:33,724 Here's to them 2309 01:37:33,807 --> 01:37:36,268 Underneath that burning sun 2310 01:37:36,352 --> 01:37:41,398 Do they know it's Christmastime at all? 2311 01:37:57,331 --> 01:38:01,126 Feed the world 2312 01:38:01,460 --> 01:38:05,214 Let them know it's Christmastime 2313 01:38:05,548 --> 01:38:09,718 Feed the world 2314 01:38:09,802 --> 01:38:13,847 Let them know it's Christmastime 2315 01:38:13,931 --> 01:38:17,726 Feed the world 2316 01:38:18,060 --> 01:38:21,814 Let them know it's Christmastime 2317 01:38:22,147 --> 01:38:26,402 Feed the world 2318 01:38:26,485 --> 01:38:30,531 Let them know it's Christmastime 2319 01:38:30,614 --> 01:38:34,410 Feed the world 2320 01:38:34,743 --> 01:38:38,497 Let them know it's Christmastime 2321 01:38:38,831 --> 01:38:42,960 Feed the world 2322 01:38:43,043 --> 01:38:47,840 Let them know it's Christmastime again 2323 01:38:52,761 --> 01:38:55,431 You know. Last year, the folks at St. Benedict's, they... 2324 01:38:55,681 --> 01:38:57,266 They had a... A modern-dress Nativity. 2325 01:38:57,600 --> 01:38:58,726 Everybody hated it at first, 2326 01:38:58,809 --> 01:39:00,728 but you know the folks at St. Benedict's, 2327 01:39:00,811 --> 01:39:02,271 they got back at 'em, all right. 2328 01:39:02,521 --> 01:39:05,107 They won the prize for most original. 2329 01:39:05,441 --> 01:39:08,611 Then, of course, you have the Maplewood Christians. 2330 01:39:08,944 --> 01:39:11,030 They had a kind of friendly competition 2331 01:39:11,113 --> 01:39:13,282 with the Nazarenes, 2332 01:39:14,283 --> 01:39:17,286 and took all their hay last year. 2333 01:39:17,620 --> 01:39:19,455 Yeah, you just try setting up 2334 01:39:20,623 --> 01:39:22,458 a Nativity without hay. 2335 01:39:22,791 --> 01:39:24,627 Merry Christmas, fellas! 159849

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