All language subtitles for The.Wayans.Bros.S04E21_English

[instrumental music]

Good morning, guys.

Hey, what's up, Dee?

Where'd you get
that little ugly dog?

Look like that dog
from that commercial

"Yo quiero

Like a little
cracked-out hamster.

Do not talk that way
in front of little Bosco.

Bosco?

You named that little rat..

...after a chocolatey
drink?
Ha-ha!

This is my boyfriend's dog,
I'm looking after him

while Kenny's away.

Isn't he cute?

Cute? He like
somethin'
Burt Reynolds

wore on his top of his head.

[laughs]

Oh, they say..

...that dogs
take after their
masters.

And he does remind me
a lot of Kenny.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

Does Kenny rub
up and down your leg

like that too?

Bosco, not at work!

(Shawn)
'Hey, look, Dee, I know
you're tryin' to look out'

for Kenny, but,
I'm allergic to dogs.

So you're gonna have to take
that little ugly thing
outside.

Bosco is a house dog

he'll cry if he's outside.

- Uh, Dee?
- What?

Is Bosco trained
to do his business outside?

Or...on newspapers?

On newspapers. Why?

- Oh!
- Oh, man!

Girl, look like you just
bought yourself 20 issues

of "The New York Times."

Shawn, he's peeing
on "Vibe" magazine!

Good, now maybe that magazine
will have some flavor.

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singing
and we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male #1)
'Alright, cut and print.'

'Beautiful, guys. Dynamite.'

[theme music]

Pops, you have any scraps
for Bosco

like leftovers?

Too late, he already sold it

to the last customer.

Ha-ha-ha-haa.

And get that thing
outta here, Dee.

You know I don't allow animals
in the diner

other than the boy's
grandmamma.

It's against regulations.

Since when do you care
about regulations?

About the same time I called
in
all of my outstanding debts.

Mrs. Dee, triple-digit
doughnut-tab Baxter!

Well, excuse me.

Damn, pop,
you's pretty rough on Dee.

What's the matter?
You in a bad mood?

Look at this son.

They've ranked
the ten best places

to get chili in Manhattan.

I've been on this list
20 years in a row.

This year,
I'm not even mentioned.

Ah, well, pop,
those restaurants
probably

probably paid those critics off.

Well, I did too.

Who am I fooling?

The man's right.

You know, there was a time
I used to put a lot of energy

and care in cookin' my food.

But now, these people come in
here day in and day out

and just wolf it down.

I don't even think
they taste the food.

That's probably the only
reason
why they come back.

[laughing]

They come back 'cause
the..
They can't..

Anyway, pop, you know what
I think your problem is?

His eyes too big for his head?

No.

His head too small for his eyes?

No, Marlon, will you shut up?

Look, pop,
I think your problem is

I think you lost your passion
for cookin'.

You know when Michael Jordan

broke every last
record
in basketball, right?

And then he went
to go play
baseball

just so he could get
a new challenge for
hisself?

Baseball?

Shawn..

...now you know Pops is way
too old to play some
baseball.

'Stupid.'

Besides, where is he
gonna wear his cup?

On his knees?

[laughs]

And another thing,
those tight pants make me
itch.

Ey, ey, ey! Who's dumber..

...young or old?

Look, what I'm trying to say
is,
pop, basically..

...I think you need to..

You need to set
new goals for yourself.

So you could force yourself
to rise to the occasion.

Well, how do I do it, son?

Well, I read a
article
in this paper

this morning
that might help
you.

What is this? What is this?

"Frostbite Frozen Food
is sponsoring a festival

"for food critics of New York.

"All interested restaurateurs

must hand in
an application by.."

But, Shawn,
this thing is due today!

Well, then, you better
hurry up on down there.

I'm telling you, pop,
I think this is exactly

what you need
to get your passion back.

That's right, pop.

This way,
next time you in the papers

it ain't gonna be
for health code violations.

Dress code violations.

[laughs]

Shawn, you are a genius.

- Thank you.
- And Marlon?

Yeah?

Your brother's a genius.

Oh, yeah, get on
outta those tight pants.

Okay, Bosco.

Here's your breakfast.

'What's the matter?
You're not hungry?'

Okay, well, then,
I'll save it for your
dinner.

Okay, then you stay there.

Something smell good.

Ooh, and everything
looks so fresh.

I know I'm not in Pops Diner.

I must have died
and gone to Denny's.

Look, that food festival
is a big opportunity for me.

Probably the biggest
I've ever had.

Well, not the biggest.

Like, when I was in
Atlantic City with Della
Reese.

I convinced her
I was Lou Rawls's brother.

Woo, talk about being
touched by angel.

I grabbed that big woman, boy,
kissed her and I said..

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Della, Della.

Della, give me another kiss,
Della, give me one more kiss

baby, come on,baby!

- Don't fight, give me ano--
- Pop!

Pops, come back.

[laughs]

I'm sorry, son. Look..

...I'mma go on down to the
hotel, and set up my booth.

Now, I have my..

...my-my chili's,
uh, simmering.

And I want you
to just add the meat.

- Gotcha.
- We got your back.

- Okay.
- Represent.

And I need a strong back to
help
me lift this heavy stuff here.

- Oh, cool, let's go--
- Come on, Dee.

I was...checking
my watch anyway.

Oo-o-oh..

Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

Hyaaah!

A'ight, now, come on!

That's enough.
Alright, now, check it out.

- You want some..
- Marlon, so help me.

I'll bust you over the head
with these jalapenos.

Alright, now check it out,
all we gotta do

is put the meat in the pot,
let it cook

for a couple of hours
and we straight.

Bam!

- Thank you.
- Alright.

This is it?
This is all the meat?

Yeah, that's two pounds.
That's all the recipe calls
for.

Come on, man,
this is Pops big chance

and you're gonna put
this little bit of meat in
here?

Pass me the other meat.

What?

S-Shawn, look, pop said,
just to put two pounds.

Why don't you
just follow the
recipe?

- Why don't you just hush,
okay?
- That's what pop said.

That's why pop
put me in charge

because he knew
I'd use my better judgment.

Now pass me the meat.

People love meat.

People love meat, Mervin.

See, people love meat.
You gotta put meat inside.

Don't you.. You don't know
nothin' about meat?

Meat is good for you.

Here it is.

Pop's famous chili.

There's a surprise
in every bowl.

Voila.

Uh, Marlon, did you taste it?

No.

Well, all chefs taste
what they make, man.

How else you supposed to know
if it came out right?

Squeeze me, my bag.

Don't wanna leave no germs
on the spoon.

Man, this is pretty good.
Here, have some of this.

See, I told you
it was the extra
meat.

Mm, taste some.

Oh, here, let me..

...put it on a spoon.

Taste it.

Mm.

Wow, this is better than
usual.
Give me some crackers.

Yeah, hold on a second,
give me some tap.

Word.

My bad,
lemme get that for you.

Booth's all set.
Chili ready?

Yep, and it came out great.

Well, I'll be the judge of that.

Ow!

Wait a minute.

It's all wrong.

What'd you do?

Perfect.

Yi-kit-dee,
I got my mojo
working.

Well, boys.

I gotta get goin'.
Y'all close up,
alright?

- Alright.
- Ah, yeah.

Good luck, dawg.

What's up, Shawn,
you think he'll win?

Well...tell you the
truth,
Marlon

it ain't about him winnin'.

It's about him finding the
joy
and having fun

in what he loves to do.

And then, if he does that well

then the critics will be
writing about him for weeks.

Hey, guys, did you happen to
see
where I put Bosco's dog food?

I could have
sworn
I bought it in
here.

Nope, haven't seen it.

Well, it's in a big red bowl

if you see it,
put it in the fridge
for me.

Bosco, I got your lunch.

O-o-oh.

To hell with Bosco.

Did she say
it was in a-a big red bowl?

Yeah.

Wasn't there, like, a big red
bowl somewhere on this counter?

- Extra meat!
- No, Shawn.

Oh, my God,
I put dog food in Pops
chili!

Shawn, how could you dump a
bowl
of dog food in Pops' chili?

Uh, I don't know, Marl,
Well, it ain't like it's
poison.

I mean, how bad could it be?
Dogs eat it.

And dogs also lick their own--

Hey! Hey, boy.

Marl, quit playin' around,
man,
this is serious.

And once those c-critics
get a taste of Pops' dog
food..

I mean, chili, and they find
out
there's dog food in it..

That'll spread all over town.

Yeah, and the old dude
was just getting

his confidence back, Shawn.

Come on, maybe we could catch
him. Come on.

We have to, Marlon.
His restaurant's at stake.

They'll close him down.
Let's get out of here.

Come on.

Shawn, where's Pops' booth?
I don't see it.

- I don't know.
- Hey, Urkel.

Let me use your glasses.

Thank you, man.

(Marlon)
There he goes, right there.

Hey, thanks, Urkel.

Hurry up. Let's go.

Uh, pop. Uh, okay, let's
break
it up. Let's break it up.

Uh, look at that,
Erykah, uh, bad-do.

Let's go in there.

Just go to the bathroom
and fix that nappy thing.

Ey, ey, ey!
Malcolm-Jamal Warner!

Put the chili down, your
cheeks are big enough, go on.

What's wrong with you boys?
I just got this crowd
together.

Pops, it's about your chili.

You bet it is.

Once they taste this, they start

howling for more.

They start off with the howlin'

and then they'll move on
to sniffin' each other's
asses.

I'm telling you, pop, there's
something wrong with your
chil--

Mr. Williams,
I'm Archibald
Frost

and this is our panel of judges

the top ten food
critics
in Manhattan.

Well, how'd you do? My name
is pop, from Pop's Diner.

Uh-huh.

It says here
your speciality is chili.

Yes, it is,
and there's a
nice

beautiful pot
of it
right there.

Um, sorry, uh, we all out.

- Well, I'll just take
this--
- Um-um-uh. Ha-ha!

I saw it first, it's all mine.

Mm, no more left now.

Get out of the way.

Ladies and gentleman,
please, help yourselves.

Come over here,
just help yourself.

Get over here.

What is the
meanin'
of all this?

Pop, I'm tellin' you
there's somethin' wrong

with your chili, man.
Don't let them eat it.

Nonsense, that's good chow.

Yeah, puppy chow.

- What?
- 'Mr. Williams.'

This is outrageous.

Oh, uh, I'm sorry, Mr. Archibald

my-my father's not
responsible
for his actions, see..

See, he has Al Timers.

Yeah, and he got,
uh, sickle cell,
too.

Well, he got the treatment.

Yeah, you see,
I-I don't care about that.

This is the best chili
I have ever tasted.

It isso

Should be.
He bakes his own
gravy.

I've got to speak
for everyone here

when I say
that this is the
most

unique blend of
flavors
at the show.

I'm awarding you first prize.

With that first prize
comes the opportunity

to cater the mayor's luncheon.

Here, tomorrow,
it pays $5000,
congratulations.

I don't believe
it.
Thank you
kindly.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[laughing]

Yi-tit-dee.

I told you people
recognize good taste.

Woo, boys, I'm back on top.

Now, what did you boys
want to tell me?

Uh, oh, oh, uh, uh,
just that, uh..

You make the best doggone
chili in Manhattan.

Thank you, right then.
Thank you.

Come on, boys,
take some good pictures.

Boys, I feel like I did
when I first started cooking.

Haven't felt this high, since
I was at a re-election party

at Marion Barry's house.

That's great, pop.

You see, I knew I had
the best recipe in the world.

But, now,
the whole city knows it.

♪ Yi-tit-dee yi-tit-dee ♪♪

Damn, black,
what are we gonna do, Shawn?

We can't let him serve his
original recipe to the mayor.

Come on, not without
the secret ingredients.

- Boy!
- What?

Put that away, man.

Pop finds out we put dog food
in his chili, he'll kill us.

Okay, well, what are we
supposed to do then?

I don't know
what we're supposed to
do

but, I'll tell you
what
we're not gonna do

we're not gonna put dog food

in the mayor's
chili
on purpose.

- Why?
- Marlon, you're crazy.

Okay.

Here it is, boys.
New York's finest.

Ah! Shawn, I wanna talk to you.

- I want to thank you, son.
- For what?

Not, not telling mom about that
condom I found in your wallet?

No, I want to thank you
for helping me

me rediscover
the one thing that I created.

That I'm still proud of.

Oh, you.. Talking about
me and Marlon, pop?

Hm, well, you're in the top 20.

Top ten?

Fifth?

- What's up with you, man?
- Rats, man, rats be
trippin'.

Alright, boys.

I gotta go.

- A'ight, pop.
- Hey, good luck, dawg.

Hey, where's pop goin'
all dressed up?

Oh, he went to go cater
the mayor's luncheon.

- Did he win the contest?
- Yep. "Did he win the
contest?"

Yeah, he won the contest,
thanks to you, little
Dee-Dee.

Me? What did I do?

- Well, uh..
- Acting shy.

Well, Dee, you remember that, uh

bowl of dog food
that you couldn't find?

Yeah.

Me and Marlon accidentally
put it in Pops' chili.

And, Dee, come to find out

it's the secret ingredient

in the city's
most famous
chili.

[laughing]

Please, Dee. Dee.

Please, whatever you do,
do not tell Pops.

- Word.
- Oh, no, wait a minute.

Kenny doesn't feed Bosco

that kind of dog food.

What does it matter?
Dog food's dog food.

It's all pretty much the same.

- Yeah.
- No.

I mean, he doesn't eat
canned dog food at all.

Kenny's spoiled that dog.

That dog eat
ground filet mignon.

- Ground filet mignon?
- 'Mm-hmm.'

No wonder it taste so good.

Oh, man,
boy am I glad, Marl

I told you not to put
that dog food inside that pot.

- Marlon?
- Huh?

Why is this can empty?

[mumbles]

Come on, Shawn. I had to, Shawn.

You've seen the look on his
face. He was looking all
happy.

I just didn't
want to spoil his
reputation.

Oh, you gonna
give him a reputation.

The mayor's reception
is for the Pope.

The Pope!

Oh, man.

We're going to hell,
first class.

Well, at least we'll get
some
frequent flier miles.

- Excuse me, sir.
- Yes?

- You are?
- In a hurry.

Now step aside, Howie long neck.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Only people on the list
get inside.

Oh, well, we are on the
list,
um...Uncle Ben?

And them.

No. No, Uncle Ben...and them.

Jefferson?

No.

How about all these guys, huh?

So, now, you see clearly?

Nope.

Aah..

I see it now.

Mr. Benjamin.

It's all about
the Benjamin, baby.

I think it was the
bicentennial
quarter that got him.

Your Holiness,
may I present the
man

who catered today's luncheon.

Mr. John Williams.

Just call me Pops, Your Majesty.

Uh, next time you talk
to the big fellow upstairs

could you get me
some lotto numbers?

I'll go halfsies with you.

- Cu--
- Ko-o-o-o-o!

Oh-ooh.

What are you two doin' here?

Uh, pop, pop.

- Uh, we've made a big
mistake.
- Yeah.

We accidentally put
dog food in your chili.

- Shh, Marlon.
- Dog food?

- What do you mean dog food?
- Shawn did it, pop.

Pop, let's just
put it this way..

He did it.

Let's just put it this way..

If the Pope
eats any of that chili

we're gonna have to replace his
rosary beads with a flea collar.

Your Holiness, may I present..

...the best chili in Manhattan.

Maybe I put enough
spice
to cover the taste.

Something's wrong.

There go my lotto ticket.

Perfect.

(Pops)
'What did he say?
What'd he say?'

His Holiness
would like you and

your sons to join him
for a bowl of chili.

- Uh..
- Uh, we-we-we..

I just came
from five o'clock mass

I'm full from
the little wafers..

We just ate some
sunflower seeds.

Shut up. Don't make me
take my belt off.

Excuse me, did you watch
"Seventh Heaven" last night?

No, I was
watching,
uh, "Jerry
Springer."

- Ah, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry.
- Jerry, Jerry, Jerry..

Hey, this Tommy Hilfiger?

This is dope.

That's a beanie, man?

You know you brothers
look a mite hungry.

(Shawn)
Look up, Marlon, say cheese.