Original subtitles

- Give me some of this, Shawn. - Get outta here, man.

I gotta go across the street and get this jacket.

I'll be right back.

Well, I'll meet you right here

I'm gonna get some cash.

You're still tryin' to get that $2

outta the machine?

I'm gonna get the whole thing, 25 cent at a time, bro.

[gunshots]

[screams]

What you lookin' at?

Who me? Uh, I was just checkin' for my mail.

Shut up! Now, get on your knees!

Hey, man, look, you're cute and all

but I don't swing that way.

Guess I'll be swingin' today.

You better keep your mouth shut!

In this position, no problem.

And close your eyes. Close 'em!

[siren wailing]

Don't kill me.

Don't kill me.

[sobbing]

Please, Mr. Killer, don't kill me.

I got five kids, man.

Please, please.

What you doin' on the ground lookin' like an old slave for?

Please.. Don't make me hurt you!

You want some of this, boy?

What you want? You want some of this?

You want some of that? Where you at?

You better run, punk!

You want some? What? I'm from Brooklyn, boy!

Brooklyn! Whatcha want? You don't know me!

Crazy, man. Crazy!

[screams]

Looking good, Ms. Butterworth?

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singin' ♪

♪ And we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male #1) 'Alright, cut and print! Beautiful guys!'

'Dynamite!'

[theme music]

Hey, hey, cats and kittens.

What it look like?

It look like some hip hop gourmet cheese.

And you look like you're wearing

one of you little brother's shirts, again.

I just washed it in hot water by accident.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Hey, hey, did you all hear about that

bank heist yesterday morning?

I heard that dude got away with over 30 grand.

I think it was an inside job.

To tell you the truth, I think it was one of 'em guards.

I mean, think about it, they're all underpaid losers

that live with their momma.

Oh, except you, Dee, uh, you make good money.

Pop, what are you doin' with that big, old

Herman Munster shoe?

I'm makin' mashed potatoes.

Well, I'd hate to see how you put holes in the doughnut.

What's poppin' y'all?

- Hey, what's up, Marl? - What's up, B?

- What's goin' on? - Just chillin', man.

Yo, man, we were just talkin' about that bank robbery.

- Oh, word? - What bank robbery?

Oh, they robbed the bank on the corner yesterday.

Hey, Dee, I was there too.

- What? - 'Yeah.'

Matter of fact..

...I was the one that scared the dude off!

How? By wetting yourself?

I was just markin' my territory like lions do.

Well, the-the-then, what'd you do next?

Oh, well, then, you know, he pu..

He had his gun on me, so what I did was, I flipped..

...into one of my boys club karate moves.

You know, ku-u-sak!

Kusaka! Kusak!

And then he threw somethin' in my eyes, so I was blind.

I was doin' the drunken monkey.

Kusak! Kusak! Kusak!

So then, he just ran off.

Ooh, so, Marly, you weren't scared, huh?

Dee..

...let me tell y'all something..

Stop!

Girl, I had no time to be scared.

- Wow! - 'Marlon?'

You were shaking more than Rick James in rehab.

Marlon, let me tell you somethin'

that was downright ignorant.

You could've been killed by that gun-tottin' bandit.

I know, but, pop--

Promise me you'll never do that again.

I don't wanna lose a son.

Don't you tell anybody else what you saw.

Alright.

(Pops and Marlon) Don't tell nobody.

But, pop, wasn't you the one that always told us

to stand up for what's right.

No, I'm the one that said

"It is better to be a live chicken than a dead duck."

Excuse me, folks? I'm Detective Fine.

Oops. Gotta go.

I'm investigating the robbery that took place yesterday.

Does anyone here know anything? See anything?

Why don't you ask the lying king over here?

Uh, what exactly did you see?

[Pops clears throat] Well, what happened was..

Uh, see? I-I didn't, uh..

I didn't see anything.

Well, I can't see a thing

with these bad Cadillacs of mine.

Will you stop wastin' this beautiful woman's time?

I'm sorry we could not help you, uh..

...but if we find out anythin', we'll give you a call.

Uh, here's my card. Please do.

Thank you, kindly. Fine, thank you.

Marlon, that ain't right, man.

You should have told that lady what you saw.

No, Marlon, you did the right thing.

Let the police handle it.

But, pop, man, how you gonna encourage

your own son to be a coward?

I'm tired of hearin' these people being killed

tryin' to be heroes.

Now, if you excuse me, I have some more potatoes to mash.

Hey, Dee... what do you think?

I mean, if you was me, what would you do?

- Would you come forward? - Absolutely.

I took an oath to uphold the law.

At least until my shift is over.

I don't know, yo, that dude looked scary.

I don't know, Marl, if I was you, I'd think about it.

I mean, if you don't come forward

this guy could strike again.

You know what, guys? Y'all are right.

I'm gonna go in there and I'm gonna tell pops

that I'mma help the police. You know why?

'Cause I'm my own man and I make myown decisions!

(Shawn) 'Right.'

Shawn, come with me, please?

Get outta here, go.

Yo, man, wanna come with me?

Come on, dude. Come on.

[instrumental music]

Marlon, I respect your decision

but I still object to you getting involved.

Mr. Williams?

(all) Yes!

I appreciate you coming forward

and not a moment too soon, we apprehended a suspect

Jesse James Brown, he's a very well-known bank robber.

- Oh, so you caught him? - Uh-huh.

Well, congratulations. Come on, Marlon, let's get outta here.

Uh, no, no, no. Not so fast.

No, we still need him to ID the suspect.

You see, you're the only one who can place him

fleeing the scene of the crime.

Now, wait a minute, if he's a known bank robber

why isn't he in jail makin' license plates?

Well, you know, we've had a problem with our witnesses.

A couple of them have, uh, had untimely deaths

and, uh, well, some of them are just missing.

It's purely coincidental I'm sure. Yes.

Well, can't beat a confession outta them?

Just go upside his head, yeah.

Bom! Biff! Biff! Biff!

Bom! Bam!

Pop, pop, that only happens on TV.

- Huh? - Oh, and in LA.

Hey, look, detective, I'd like to help you out

but, uh, I don't wanna be no missing witness.

Now, you're talkin. Come on, let's get outta here.

Well, that's really too bad because you'll have to miss out

on the $10,000 reward.

(Pops and Shawn and Marlon) $10,000?

I saw him too. He's 5'5".

150 pounds, and he's got a gold tooth.

- Pop, that sounds like T.C. - Shh.

He'll get three square meals a day.

That ain't the only thing he gonna get three times a day.

[laughing]

- Yo, let's do this, yo. - Alright.

Yeah, well, I'll go turn on the lights.

Alright.

Shawn?

I think those dudes are staring at me.

Marl, that's impossible, man.

This is one of those trick two-way mirrors.

Like, you know, like, at the peep show?

- Oh, word? - Yeah.

That means they can't see this either, huh?

Hey, y'all. I'm Scottie Pippen.

Mike, pass me the ball.

I'm open, Mike. Pass me the ball.

Oh, my foot is hurtin'. Come on, Mike.

Pass me the ball!

Hey, Robbins, quit feeling on my ass. What's wrong with you?

Guys..

...we have a problem.

No, no. We ain't got no problem.

That's him right there dressed in the black.

That's him right there, black on black crime.

'That's him right there. That's right.'

Who do you think you're foolin'? You think you're cute.

Look at you with that Abraham Lincoln beard.

You ain't foolin' nobody.

'And that bad wave cap, you ain't cute.'

- He think he Baby Face. - I know.

He think he Baby Face.

You don't understand, Marlon.

No, you don't understand.

That's him right there, and you know what?

You're gonna make somebody a good girlfriend in--

What's up? What's up? Hey, yo! Yo, don't drop the soap.

♪ Don't drop the soap Don't drop the soap ♪

♪ Don't drop the soap ♪♪

Marlon, Marlon, listen to me.

I just found out the two-way mirror broke

and the window repairman

accidentally put in tinted glass.

[gasps]

- So that means they can see me? - Yes.

The-they couldn't see me, right?

'Cause I was standin' over here.

- They can see you. - A-a-and me?

- They can see me? - Yes.

- And you? - And me. They can see me.

You're dead meat, you little snitch.

My brother, Frank, gonna find you and make sure

you disappear like the rest of 'em..

You're dead! You're a dead man!

I swear to God you're dead! You're dead!

[instrumental music]

Hey, if Marlon does not testify, we have no case.

Too bad. Do what you New York cops normally do to brothers.

Give him the plunger.

Now, uh-uh, hold on.

Wha-what if I personally promise

to take care of all of you?

Hey, hey, look, detective.

Sex is the last thing

on any of our minds right now. Okay?

But, uh, why don't you slip me your number

just in case I change my mind. 9111.

No, no, no, what I mean is, I'll put you all up..

...in a witness protection hotel

until the hearing on, uh, Monday morning.

Peace out, Gloria Estefan.

You ain't stickin' us in no welfare hotel.

- It's The Plaza. - Ooh.

- Si-diddy. - Really?

[instrumental music]

- Damn! - Wow!

This place is phat.

Yeah, remind me of the Huxtables.

- Does it have a bar? - Uh, yes, of course.

- It's right over there. - Yi-tee-tee.

Well, yes, brother. This place is very risquisite.

Oh, and [indistinct] too.

My question is, is it safe?

Oh, of course, perfectly.

And, uh, this is Officer Young. He's one of our very best men.

He will be in complete control.

He don't look like he could control his own bladder.

[chuckles]

I heard that.

I'll have you know that in 1987

I single-handedly captured the MacDougall twins.

I was on the front page of every paper.

Take a look at that.

"Kinky white female in search of freaky old man."

Give me that!

I must have...left it in my other pants.

[coughs] Believe me, he is one of our best men.

I'd, I'd have him as my partner any day.

Are you sure, uh, Rip Van Winkle over here can handle this?

Officer Young?

I got you now, MacDougall twins.

W-w-why don't you go take your pills now, hmm?

As long as I am here, you have nothing to fear.

All clear in there.

[instrumental music]

Pops, you know what, man? You was right.

I should have never gotten involved.

I should have minded my business.

Now, I got us all in danger.

Oh, don't worry 'bout it, son. Everything will be okay.

As long as we all stick together.

Yeah, kid, I mean, no matter what happens from this point on

I'm proud of you, man. You did a good thing.

- Thanks, man. - He's right.

If it weren't your snitchin'

we wouldn't have this beautiful fine liquor.

[knock on door]

Ah, that must be room service, I'm starvin'

and I'm sick of this stink cheese.

(Marlon) 'That ain't cheese, that's pop's feet.'

Hey, hey, baby, what do you think?

I think you look like a ghetto Chewbacca.

T.C., man, how did you know we're staying here?

What's up, man? 'Cause I called the pool hall and told him.

What's up, baby? That thing is making me itch.

Hey, man, what took you so long to get here?

I called you over two hours ago.

I had a little trouble findin' transportation.

I guess it's kinda hard stealin' a car with a club on it?

Right.

But I'm here now.

[chuckling]

Ooh, and I got good news.

I invited everyone

from the pool hall to come on down.

They're gonna be here midnight

after Lester's parole party.

T.C., what's wrong with you, man?

Do you realize how dangerous it is

lettin' people know where our location is?

Ah. You alright?

[panting]

Hey, Dee, what you doin' here?

I was home relaxin', listenin' to my police scanner

and I heard that Jesse's brother is in this vicinity.

You mean, he's on his way over here?

- I don't know. - Oh, God. Shawn--

I better call Detective Fine

and see what's goin' on.

Oh, my God. The phone is dead.

Oh, no.

This always happens in the movies right before

they kill the white boys.

[banging on door]

[shouting] It's the killer! It's the

Okay, everybody grab a weapon.

Grab a weapon!

[banging continues]

Negro, who do you think you are, Bruce Leroy?

Oh. It's alright. It's room service.

(T.C.) Mm-mm-mm.

When God made you, he broke the mold.

Well, he must have broke it over her face.

I'm glad she works the night shift.

[laughing]

Shh. Shh. Shh.

Look at 'em legs.

Look like a chicken wearing nurses shoes.

[laughing]

Hey, look, yo. Yo, pop, look.

She got that whole Florence and the Jefferson's weave.

Oh.

Hey, y'all.. Hey, y'all, look.

Hey, she got a gun.

[Marlon screams] Put your hands up!

[screaming]

Shut your mouth!

[muffled screaming]

Stop makin' that noise!

Didn't I see you in Lester's parole party?

Yeah, brah. Thanks for leading me here.

Back up.

Sorry, Mr. Murderer.

[sobbing]

I'm sorry.

Please don't kill me.

I just bought tickets to see the Riverdance.

He should shoot you for buyin' stupid tickets like that.

What you talking about Riverdance is fast?

Doing all this stupid stuff.

[blabbering]

Hold it there, big drawers.

Mm-hmm.

Now, I only came to kill the guy who ratted out my brother.

But now, y'all have seen my face. Now get on the couch!

- On the couch! - Okay, okay, okay.

I gotta figure out what to do!

Now, look.

Which one of y'all is Marvin?

The name is Marlon.

Hello-o-o.

Um, b-b-but Marvin is right there.

Marvin, come here, Marvin.

[indistinct chattering]

[instrumental music]

That boy ain't wrapped too tight.

He been pacin' like that for two hours.

I know.

Well, you should be happy that Malcolm X glasses

didn't shoot us yet.

Don't worry, I got a plan.

Frank?

You know, I noticed you

from the moment you walked through that door.

I just love a man

who can take control.

He ain't got no time for your sexual escapades.

You know...you remind me of a girl I was in love with.

[chuckles] Really?

(Frank) Mm-hmm.

She took me for everythin' I had

and I swore I'dkill

Oh, did I tell you I was a lesbian?

[blabbering]

Listen, if you let us go

I will give you..

...all these jewels.

Please, fool, that stuff ain't real.

You better sit down.

Look, man. No, don't shoot. Don't shoot, now.

I'm getting up slow.

Look, man, i-if you wanna shoot me

I promise, I won't tell nobody..

Look, man, I played The 5th Dimension.

I'm sorry, but I gotta do this for my brother.

And we're doin' this for Marlon.

Let me tell you something, young fella.

If you gonna kill him

you're gonna have to kill all of us.

Yo, man, come on, now.

You can't kill my little brother, man.

I mean, as stupid and hard-headed as he is..

...he means everything to us.

Yeah, man, my brother, he means everythin' to me

but that's why I gotta clean up his mess.

Man, I'm always cleanin' up Marlon's mess.

I mean, all the time, man.

He's hard-headed, he never listens to me.

Yeah, man, little brother's are so stupid.

- Dummy! - Retarded.

An-an-and that's why, man, as older brothers, man

we need to come together

an-an-and watch over our little brothers, man.

That's why me and Marlon, we do everythin' together.

That sounds like me and Jesse, we're the same way.

I know, uh, me and Marlon, we play basketball together.

- We rob banks together. - Oh.

I mean, uh, w-w-we go to clubs together.

We rob banks together.

Yeah, man. See, that's my boy, man.

He's my best friend.

Losing him would be like losing a part of myself.

Yeah.

I don't know, what I'd do..

...if somethin' happened to little Jesse.

- You know.. - Y-y-you rob banks.

You know..

...that was really..

...that was really movin', man.

Y'all are right.

Well, at...at least, you guys..

At least you get to die together.

[indistinct chattering]

Wait. Wait. Before you shoot, let me say one thing, man.

Let me just say one thing.

Go ahead, man.

The MacDougall twins are here!

It's the MacDougall twins!

I got you now, MacDougall twins.

(Marlon) 'Get him, Dee!'

Who you callin' big drawers? Put your hands up!

[Marlon shrieks]

This is my corner, toots.

Alright, you're goin' downtown, MacDougall twins.

And don't try anything. Either one of you.

Move!

Good lookin' out, Shawn.

- Wow. - Oh, man.

Kid, you saved my life.

- Thank you, man. - You saved all of our lives.

Hey, let me ask you somethin, did you mean all that stuff

about, you know, me being your best friend and..

...how I was a part of you and all that?

Hell no.

I'm just playin', of course, man.

Come on, man, let's be outta here.

Word up, man.

- Man, this was wild. - An experience that was, boy.

- I know. - Death.

Damn, I'm too young to die. Too pretty too.

- I'm gonna use the bathroom. - 'Alright. See you, pops.'

- Hey, pops! - What you doin'?

- Get on outta here, man! - Get outta here!

- Get outta here! - Head on south.

[indistinct chattering]

Get outta here, man. [indistinct].

Ghetto bunch of people.

- Will y'all come on? - Help me, pop.

Pop, help me..

[Marlon grunts]

Hang on. This ain't the riots, put that down.

[instrumental music]

Those dudes are staring at me.

Marlon, that's impossible, man.

This is one of those trick two-way mirrors.

Like, you know, like, at the peep show?

- Oh, word? - Yeah.

That means they can't see this either, huh?

Hey, y'all. I'm Scottie Pippen.

Mike, pass me the ball.

I'm open, Mike. Pass me the ball.

Oh, my foot is hurtin. Come on, Mike, pass me the ball!

(Shawn) Look up, Marlon, say cheese.