Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

Hey. Hey, that's-that's my spot.

- Don't get yourself hurt. - Marlon, you know what?

I know you've heard this a lot of times before.

I think you are the funniest..

...the sexiest, most attractive man

I have ever...met.

- I am? - Hmm-mm. You're bomb.

Hold on, girl. Let me get you another glass of wine.

As a matter of fact, here, you take the bottle.

What-what do you mean you wanna take a break?

It's not permanent, I just think, you know..

...we need a little bit of space, you know.

Wait a minute, I-I put a lot

into this relationship, Shawn.

We both have, Natalie.

So-so-so, why is it that every time

I bring up the word "commitment"

you start backin' away from me.

Ain't nobody backin' away from you.

What are you talking about? You tripping.

Hey, oh! Whitney and Bobby!

Please.

Brother's trying to get his swerve on.

Now, uh, what did you say you wanna do with this cheese whip?

[indistinct chatter]

Girlfriend, are you okay?

Hell, no! I ain't okay. Wait a minute.

So you're trying to tell me that I done went out with you

in that broken down pimp mobile

got ate up by fleas by them rabbit fur seat covers

so that we could take a break?

That's what you're trying to tell me?

Huh?

So what you're trying to say

you ain't have a good time tonight?

You know, I thought that we had something, Shawn.

We had dinner.

God, you know what?

Don't even call me

until you ready to get serious, okay?

No, I ain't trying to hear this.

Come on, girl. It's time to go.

- 'Come on. It's time to go.' - Oh, I'm sorry, baby.

- Wait, wait. Where you going? - Marlon. I'm sorry.

I gotta leave. My girl needs me right now.

- Hey, I need you too. - I know, baby.

Hey, look. Girl. All I need is..

All I, all I need is two minutes.

- Okay. - Two minutes.

(Shawn) 'Hey, hey, hey.'

Don't you, don't you run on me

in front of my brother. Don't run..

Hey, get back here!

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singing and we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male #1) 'Alright. Cut and print.'

'Beautiful, guys. Dynamite.'

[music continues]

Shawn. Come on, man. What happened?

I was about to be digging out some backs, man.

What's wrong with you?

I don't know what the deal is, son.

Oh, God.

Man, everything was going good between me and Natalie.

She was pretty.

- She paid her own way. - What?

Yeah. And she had good breath.

I don't know why she had to go mess everything up.

What, she had to go mess everything..

What are you talking about, Shawn? You pissed her out.

I know, man. Why do I always do that?

I don't know.

Maybe..

...maybe, I'm just a player

deep down inside.

Look, it don't matter.

I was gonna break up with her anyway.

Her hands was all dry and ashy.

Her fingers felt like five beef jerkys.

Hey, why, you.. You know what? You always do this.

Every time you start diggin' a girl..

- Shawn, Every.. Shawn. - Don't even start.

Every time, a girl starts liking you, you do this.

You gotta find something wrong with her.

S-Shawn, it's like the time you broke up with Keisha

'cause you said her eyes was too far apart.

Marlon.

Alright, yes. She looked like this.

I'm saying she was still cute though.

It's like the time you broke up with Debra because you said

she had dandruff.

Marlon, come on, now.

Every time I ran my fingers through that girl's hair

I felt like I was making a snowball.

I'm saying, man. Yo, you, uh..

You know what? You gotta recognize, man.

A lot of guys would die to have your problems.

Me being one of them.

Hey, what are you complaining about?

I seen Amber all over you.

Come on, Shawn.

That rarely happens to me.

Last time a girl was all over me

she stole my wallet.

Oh, damn!

[instrumental music]

- Wassup, pop? - How you doing, son?

- Can I ask you a question? - Yeah.

When did you know that ma was the one

you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?

Immediately.

Immediately after she told me she was pregnant.

- Come on, pop. I am serious. - I'm serious too, son.

When the right woman comes along, you will know it.

Now, why are you asking a question like that?

Natalie giving you some pressure?

No. Well, not anymore.

We...kinda broke up last night.

Broke up? She paid her own way!

She was a good catch.

Well, it's none of my business, but that's too bad.

I thought you liked her, Shawn.

I did like her, but..

...she started trying to a brother on lockdown.

[grunting] Mm-mm. Mm, mm.

Well, now, Shawn.

See, it's not totally her fault.

It's part of the Williams' curse.

See, Williams men have been known

for their good looks and boyish charm

that leave women defenseless all over the world.

Hey, pop. I got that curse too?

No.

Shawn, I have an idea that might help you

with your relationships.

This is this week's issue of "Sister Girl."

It's a test written by Shafreaka Lovechild.

Shafreaka Lovechild?

Isn't that the girl that Marv Albert bit?

No. This is a doctor of loveology.

First question.

"What is your sign?"

I'm a Capricorn. We can't arise..

Alright.

Alright. Second question.

"Do you believe in monogamy?"

Monogamy?

Wasn't Billy Dee Williams in that?

Ha ha ha.

I'm gonna take that as a yes.

Alright. Next question.

"Do you think chivalry is dead?"

Little Chivalry is dead?

Little Chivalry from 125th Street is dead.

Why?

Okay. Okay, okay. Okay.

Y'all keep joking.

I am not the one with relationship problems now.

We don't need some test to tell us Shawn's problem.

It's a clear case of commitment anxiety.

He's afraid to let anybody get close to him.

- 'Hmm-mm.' - You know what, pop?

Now that you say that, I think you're right.

- How did you get rid of that? - Find out what caused it.

How do you do that?

Sometimes you gotta look back..

...to see ahead.

Did you just spit on me, man?

Sometime you gotta spit to make a point.

Well, in that case, Pops.

You are genius, brother.

Marlon, come on. Let's go.

Peace, Pops.

Pops! That was so insightful.

Where did you get those words of wisdom?

From that Wu-Tang album.

♪ Zit zit te-kah ♪

♪ Zit zit te-kah ♪

Pop it up, everybody. Pump it up, pop it up.

Pop it up, pop it up, pop it up.

See? Pop it up.

♪ Zit zit te-kah ♪♪

[instrumental music]

What's all this old high school junk for?

This old-old junk is..

...is gonna help me remember my..

...past.

And hopefully, it will help me find out

why I got commitment anxiety.

What is this supposed to help you remember?

Never to bring a white girl to the Mean Man March.

[laughing]

You're crazy.

[coughing]

Oh, snap, kid!

Look at this. This is my old Letterman's jacket.

How do I look?

You look like a ghetto [indistinct] cut your hair.

Hey, Marlon. You remember this bow-tie?

Oh, yeah. I remember this.

Remember, I went to your prom.

I went with that senior from special ed.

- Yeah. - Hey.

She was dumb, but she was a freak.

Yo, I had so much fun, kid.

You know, I'm glad you had fun.

This is one of the worst nights of my life.

It's all coming back to me now.

[instrumental music]

Woo! Woo!

Say, bro!

Where's your, uh..

...tenderoni?

You know, you-you know how women are, man.

They-they are always late.

It's time to grab that special person

because we're gonna..

...kick it with a slow jam.

'So, let's get down with Lisa Lisa.'

[Lisa Lisa And The Cult Jam performing "All Cried Out"]

Hey!

Hey, you with the badass curl!

Who is that?

Oh, Shawn Williams. Oh, what's wrong, baby?

You couldn't get a date?

You are a loser!

[echoing] Loser! Loser! Loser! Loser!

Loser! Loser! Loser! Loser..

- 'Shawn.' - I ain't no loser.

Shawn. Shawn, snap out of it.

Shawn!

Man, I can't believe Kelly ditched me like that.

She was like the first girl I ever loved

and-and I ain't never heard from her ever again.

Yeah, that was pretty cold blooded the way she left

only leaving a stupid letter.

Man, that's probably the reason why you got commitment anxiety.

She didn't leave no letter.

Sure she did.

Shawn, I remember because I was in the cafeteria

buying a coffee cake and she gave me the letter

and I put it in this pocket.

Hey, look. My coffee cake.

It's a little hard, but it sure is tasty.

- Give me that. - No! Get your own.

- Get your own. - I just want the letter.

Give me the, give me the letter.

Give me.. I want the letter.

Alright. Alright.

I want the letter.

"Dear Shawn, I know we've been looking forward to our prom

"but I must leave town immediately.

"Here's a number where I could be reached.

"Please call.

Love, Kelly."

That's a beautiful letter.

Wow, Shawn! You know what? She didn't even stand you up.

- You know what that means. - Yeah.

She's not the reason I have commitment anxiety.

You are.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Why the long face, Marlon?

You look like you lost your best friend.

Best friend and a brother.

I think you're makin' alittle this.

I don't know, pop. I don't think Shawn's gonna forgive me.

Man, I wish I would've given him Kelly's letter.

Now, remember when he worked all summer long

to buy himself a new bike

and you robbed his piggy bank?

Yeah. Hey, wait a minute.

You robbed his piggy bank.

Well, I told him you did.

The point is he forgave you then

he'll forgive you now.

I don't think so, pop.

Man, I wish I could just go back to high school.

Why you wanna do that?

It took you six years to get out

the first time.

No, pop, I mean..

...go back to high school..

...and this time make things right.

Oh! Go back into the past.

I wish I can go back into the past.

I'll buy myself another pair of these pants.

Yeah, pop, because those are getting real tight.

You showing us stuff that we don't need to see.

[instrumental music]

Marlon!

Loser!

Say, bro!

[echoing] Say, bro, say, bro..

What's the emergency?

There is no emergency.

[echoing] ...cy, cy, cy..

Wow!

[echoing] Wow! Wow! Wow!

- Hello-- - Come on, stupid!

What'd you have me come all the way down here for, man?

To play games with me? I'm out of here.

- Hey, I'm not playing games. - Get off me.

Wait. Shawn, wait. Hey, wait.

Hold on. I got a surprise for you.

Come on.

Here.

Put this on.

Just put it on.

Here.

I feel like a usher at a movie theatre.

What are you doing?

Getting you dressed.

You, my friend..

...are going back to your prom.

Voila!

Hell!

- You did all this? - Yup.

Look like a Puerto Rican Christmas up in here.

Why did you do all this, stupid?

'Cause,Mira..

Because I wanted everything to be exactly

the way it was your prom night.

Marlon.

Why in the world would I wanna relive

the worst night of my life?

Ah.

It was the worst night of your life.

But all that's about to change.

Cuckoo!

Soo-o-o-o.

Kelly?

'Is that really you?'

I must be tripping.

Well, it's nice to see you too, Shawn.

Oh, oh, oh. No, I didn't mean it like that.

It's just..

...I haven't seen you in, like, eight years.

You disappeared on me.

Well, if you would've called me you would've known

that I had a family emergency.

Family emergency?

I should have known better than to give Marlon that letter.

Hey, hey, sister. Let's not dwell on the past.

Look, I'm sorry the way it happened the first time.

But hey, I'm here for you now.

Whoo, and you sure are, girl. Hey, better late than never.

My God, I'm so embarrassed, I..

...have been waiting to see you all this time

and I don't even have a corsage for you.

Bam!

Thank you, Marlon.

Hey, uh..

...it's plastic..

...but I spread it with Lemon Pledge.

For the aroma.

- Play on, player. - Thank you.

Oh, don't be shy, y'all. Get up on the gristle.

Damn, Kelly.

You still fine as ever, girl.

And you still have the sexiest brown eyes.

They're alright.

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

Party people in the place to be.

You've got to clog your fucking Coleman Dean up in here.

We gonna kicked this party off.

[upbeat music]

♪ Drummin' up now ♪

♪ Say say say ♪

♪ Say oh-oh oh-oh ♪

♪ Say oh-oh oh-oh ♪

♪ Throw all your hands in the air ♪

♪ And wave them like you just don't care ♪

♪ If the girl you dancing with got a big ol' booty ♪

♪ Let me hear you say oh yeah oh yeah ♪♪

It's time to capture the moment of a lifetime

over by the picture booth.

Please don't forget to have five dollars ready.

Bring your ass here.

Alright.

Say "gum and cheese."

(both) Gum and cheese.

Alright.

That will be five dollars..

...a piece.

- You owe me. - Alright.

I'm so sorry the night has to end.

I've had such a wonderful time.

Well, there is one good thing about us

waiting so long for our prom.

- What's that? - We don't have a curfew.

Oh, damn.

Shawn.

Let me go call my babysitter.

Hey, oh, whoa, whoa!

- Babysitter? - Uh-huh.

- You got kids? - Oh, just four.

Four?

And where's all your baby daddies?

Well, I'm not with them anymore.

All three of them, they just no good.

But, you know, maybe, you know, maybe, it will be

a little different between you and me.

Hay, whoa, whoa! Slow down, Lil' Kim.

I wanna bumble with the bee

but, bzzz, I don't want a family.

Oh, I get it. Right, right.

Marlon told me how you run away from relationships.

I-I don't run away from relationships.

I just, you know, I like to take it slow.

Yeah, sometimes I wish I had taken it slow..

...like two husbands ago.

That's okay. I mean we all make mistakes.

It just so happens you made a few more than everybody else.

It's all good.

I just wanna tell you..

...by seeing you tonight, it really helped me.

Thank you for showin' up.

Thanks for giving me my prom.

Hey...I mean we can still stay in touch, right?

[indistinct]

You know, Shawn..

...you're a real cool brother.

Someday you gonna make someone real happy.

Alright, Shawn.

Wait up, I had no idea

the old lady in the shoe was so young.

Shawn, come on, man, I was just tryin' to help.

I was just tryin' to make a love connection.

Come on, Shawn, please don't hit me!

I ain't gonna hit you, kid.

I wanna thank you.

You just helped me close a really important chapter

of my life.

Now I could move on.

I love you.

I can't believe you ain't mad at me.

Of course I ain't mad at you.

The only thing that I'm mad at

is your whack-ass DJ skills.

- What! - I'mma show you how it's done.

Word up.

Y'all give it up for SW1.

This is the place to be.

We're gonna rock it like this now, y'all.

Word up.

Anyone out there [indistinct].

[upbeat music]

Hip, hip , hip, hip, hip-hop!

[upbeat music]

- [indistinct]. - Oh, you know it.

Hey, Shawn.

(Shawn) Look up, Marlon. Say cheese.