Original subtitles

Yeah, boy, yeah!

Come on! Hurry up.

- Come on. Come on. - Open the door.

Ha ha ha! Yeah, boy.

Yo! Let's see who can go the highest.

Alright, bet. Watch me, boy.

You gonna mess with me, boy?

You're messing with the wrong man!

Hip-hop. Hip-hop.

You don't stop.

Hip-hop. Hip-hop.

Boy, you ain't saying nothin'.

Let me show you how to get down, boy.

Go, bugger!

Nice doggie. Nice doggie.

You win.

[screams]

Hi, Mrs. Bowser!

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singin' and we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male #1) 'Alright. Cut and print. Beautiful, guys.'

'Dynamite. That is..'

♪ Girl what you got goin' on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Girl what you got going on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪♪

Mm-mm. Don't do it.

Don't open that door.

Don't open that door!

(female on the TV) 'Aah!'

See, I told you not to open that door.

Shawn, I hate these movies.

Don't worry, girl.

You know if anything jumps off, I got your back.

But, they're so scary, they always make me think

there's somebody under the bed.

Yeah. Me, too.

- Aah! Aah! - Aah!

- Aah! Aah! - Aah! Aah!

[laughs]

By the way..

...this popcorn is stale.

That's not popcorn. Those are mothballs.

What were you doing under there?

Watching the same movie as y'all.

I can't believe that dude opened the door

after you told him not to. Stupid!

Have you been under there the whole time?

Mm-hmm.

Thewhole

You know what? I have had it.

I am sick and tired of him.

He's always ruinin' everything.

We never get any privacy, Shawn, night after night after night.

I can't take it. I'm outta here.

You act like it's the first time.

Marlon, I'm gonna kill you.

What? I didn't even do nothin'.

- I'm out of here, Shawn. - Wait! Please, Lisa! Wait.

Come on! Please don't be mad. Are you mad?

I love you, too!

Call you tomorrow?

Y'all sure do like it rough, huh?

Five seventy two.

Five seventy three.

Five seventy four.

Five seventy damn five.

The third time you comin' in here paying me with pennies..

Notice, I'm gonna put these pennies in this sock.

Next time you come here pay me with pennies..

...I'mma take this sock and beat the crap outta you.

Have a nice day.

I promise you, Lisa

I will never let Marlon bother us again.

- He's history. - Well, he better be.

Because he's everywhere we go, Shawn. I'm sick of him.

You.. You've only known him for six months.

Imagine how I must feel.

- He he he! - Ha ha!

Alright, I'm gonna touch up my lipstick, and then we can go.

You do that.

Yo, Pops.

Check it out.

Look, what I bought for Lisa.

I'mma give it to her tonight to make up for what Marlon did.

Buying expensive gifts?

Son, you're setting a dangerous precedent.

Yeah, but, Lisa is special.

You got to take care of a girl that's special.

Not true.

Not true.

Your mother's very special. I never give her nothing.

On our last anniversary, I didn't even come home.

That's right.

Next morning, I moseyed in

she was so happy I was alive, took me to the bedroom

and you know me first thing in the morning..

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Come on, Pops. People are eatin'.

Hey, what's up, Shawn?

How you doing, man?

Hey, look here. I'm sorry, about last night, man.

But, we don't need Lisa.

We did the right thing.

- You just don't get it, do you? - No, I get it.

And you're gonna get it, too.

See, I made a couple of calls.

Found out that Shaniqua and her cousin are free tonight.

Now, her cousin's a little cockeyed.

After a couple of drinks, you won't notice.

- Yo, man, I ain't-- - And rumor has it.

At the height of passion

then cross-eyes, turn straight. Yeah!

Give you somethin' to shoot for a little tiger, you..

Shawn, I have always wanted to meet you.

Marlon has told me so much about you.

Mmm.

Oh, this is nice!

This is really nice.

Oh, Lisa, come on, this-this.. This ain't what it looks like.

Yeah, Lisa, you got it all wrong.

This one's mine. He got the cockeyed one.

You know what? That is it!

As long as he is your brother

I never want to see you again, Shawn.

Hey, this works out great!

Now you're free for the cousin.

Hey, go, get Kakeesha on the phone.

Marlon, you're an idiot, okay?

I love Lisa, and you're ruinin' it for me.

From now on, you know what? Stay away from her.

Matter of fact, you know what? Stay away from me, too.

Kakeesha..

Well, Pop, I guess, he's really mad at me, huh?

How do I make it up to him, man?

The hell with him.

Tell me more about that cockeyed girl.

Ho ho.

I can't believe you did this for me and Lisa.

- Yeah. - A moonlight jazz cruise.

It must have cost you a fortune.

Where'd you get the money for this?

I figured Gary Coleman could live with one kidney

so could I.

I'll tell you, man, you really outdid yourself this time, kid.

- Thanks a lot. I appreciate it. - Got it kid, enough love.

Word up, man. Yo!

That's the least I could do after messing everything up.

Let me fix this tie up. Alright.

- Cool. Cool! - Thanks, kid.

Hold on. Hold on.

- Yip! Do. - Alright.

Hold on. Wait a minute.

- Thanks. - Wait! Hold on.

Come on, man. We ain't got all day. Alright.

- Hold a minute. - Will you come on!

I gotta get outta here, man.

The boat's about to leave in a couple of minutes.

Alright. You guys enjoy yourself.

Send Lisa my regards, alright?

You crazy kids have fun.

- Thanks a lot, Marlon. - Six hours on the seas.

- You got it, man. - Thanks a lot, man.

Go head, you crazy kid, you.

♪ Love ♪

♪ Exciting and new ♪

♪ Come aboard ♪

♪ We're expecting you ♪

♪ At love ♪

♪ Welcome aboard it's ♪

♪ Lo ah ah ♪

♪ Ha ove ♪♪

Yeah!

[instrumental music]

A toast.

Here's to the incredible time we're gonna have on this cruise.

And here's to an even more incredible time

we're gonna have after the cruise.

I'll drink to that.

Ahh!

I love you, Shawn.

I love you, too, Lisa.

Hmm.

What a perfect night.

You know, I hate to say this.

But Marlon giving us this cruise

was a great way for him to make up for being a jerk.

Yeah, I guess, he's a good guy underneath.

Underneath what?

Underneath any place but my bed.

I'm just sorry, we had to go 20 miles offshore

to get away from him.

Oh, my God.

Oh God, what?

Oh, my God, I.. I'm...gettin' seasick.

Oh, is there anything I can do?

Um, no. No. No.

Uh, just sit there and look pretty. Uh..

It's a one-man job. I'll be right back.

Are you stupid, or are you deaf?

What?

What are you doing here? We're supposed to be alone.

You forgot your gift.

Give me that. Now get outta here.

Aren't you gonna say, thank you?

Thank you. Now get out of here.

That's all?

Come on, man. Give me a hug.

Look, Marlon, I don't have time to play Barney, okay.

The boat's leavin', and Lisa's gonna see you!

Come on, man! Just-just one hug?

It's such a beautiful night out.

[inhales]

It'd be a shame to waste the stars.

Okay. Come on. One hug. Hurry up.

- Ahh! - Shh!

It feels so right!

[horn blows]

Shawn, why are those midgets waving at us?

Those aren't midgets.

The ship is pullin' away from shore!

What? What are we gonna do now?

What am I gonna do if Lisa sees you?

I don't know, you'll figure out something. Now..

...I'mma have me some shrimp in the meantime.

Thank you.

Can I see your ticket, please?

Uh.. Yes. Is there a problem, Captain Cosby?

Yes, there is a problem.

There's a stowaway on board.

Don't worry about it.

We'll catch him if it takes all the night.

- Okay. - Enjoy the cruise.

Alright. Thanks a lot.

Shawn, did you hear that?

If they catch me, they're gonna make me

swab the deck or... or-or walk the plank or..

...or eat lemons or somethin'.

Look, for the rest of the cruise

stay out of sight from everybody. You got it?

Okay, don't worry about me. I'll be out of sight.

Just call me the ninja sailor.

Wutah!

Next time, watch where you're goin'!

- You miss me? - Yeah. Are you feeling better?

Oh, Yeah, uh.. I think I got rid of it all that time.

Don't worry baby, I'll take care of you.

What size are you, about a 38 regular?

Mm-hmm.

Let me talk to you a second.

You are the sweetest girl in the world.

And because you're so understanding, Lisa

I have a special gift for you.

I wanna give it you in a special place.

Shawn, I'm not doing that again!

I told you, that was just for your birthday.

No. Not that. I mean now. Here.

On the boat. Here.

Oh!

You, the waiter with the bad pants?

Yes, sir, ma'am.

Go over and help that couple at the bar.

And if you ever wear Capri pants to work again

you'll be polishing the head. Okay?

You don't scare me.

You know, I've done some things in my life.

- Go. - I'm going.

Lisa, switch places with me quick!

Why?

Because. Because..

Because, I wanna see the moonlight

shine in your eyes, girl.

Oh, Shawn, you are so romantic.

Ha ha. That's me. Good-lookin' and romantic.

Ahh!Excuse moi zeh.

I had tope-pe.

What can I help you rich Caucasoids with?

That sounds like Marlon.

Oh. That guy?

Oh! Baby, no. You know who that is?

That's-that's Isaac from the "Love Boat."

Poor guy, can't bring himself to leave the ship

even though the show was cancelled.

Well, here, open your present.

Where's my champagne, please?

Oh, here you go.

Aren't you gonna open it?

Aah! Aah!

I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

Oh! I'm sorry.. Hey, are those real?

- Oh, I'm sorry. - What is the meaning of this?

I'm in room 514.

Shawn, what's going on over there?

Um.. Nothin'. Don't look over there.

- Why? - Don't look over there.

Because.. Because.. Because.. Because..

Because.. I'm gonna sing you a song. Yeah.

Yeah. I'mma sing you a song.

Yeah.

[instrumental music]

Tell it.

♪ Girl I seen you in clubs ♪

♪ Just hangin' out and dancin' ♪

♪ You give your number to every man you see ♪

♪ I buy you champagne and roses ♪

♪ Put diamonds on your finger ♪

♪ Diamonds on your finger ♪

♪ I wish you'd bring some of your love ♪

♪ Home to me ♪

♪ 'Cause my girl wants to ♪

♪ Party all the time party all the time ♪

♪ Party all the time ♪

♪ My girl want to ♪

♪ Party all the time ♪

♪ Party all the time ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪

[cheering and applause]

- Feel better now? - Now that you stopped.

[chuckling]

But that was a nice try, baby.

Hey, man, what's wrong with you?

You're testing me, aren't you?

That lady needs help. Move!

Moving.

Excuse me, sir.

There's something wrong with my shrimp.

Let me see that..

...see here.

Seems alright to me.

Shawn, let's order some more champagne.

Waiter, can we please have some more champagne, please?

Certainly.

Get over there.

Move!

Moving.

Shawn, what's wrong with him?

- Um, he's from Kuwait. - A Kuwaiti waiter?

Yeah, they're not allowed to show their face

'cause they get hit in the head with rocks over there.

So, you know, they have real strict law.

So, he can't look at you.

[with Arabic accent] Do you need anything else?

Yes. You can take off these fake sideburns, Marlon.

Uh-oh. Shawn, I think she's on to me.

Marlon, why can't you leave us alone?

He tried, Lisa. He even bought us these tickets.

I know, Shawn, but look--

Look, Lisa, I'm sorry. Alright? I'm sorry.

I don't do this on purpose.

I can't help it if I'm a mess-up.

It's-it's my forte.

Look, Lisa, Shawn's all I got.

'You got him, and he got you.'

What does that leave me with?

Nothing!

See..

...all I want..

♪ Is a little light ♪

♪ To shine on me ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh whoo ooh ♪♪

Oh, Marlon, look at you.

You're.. You're..

...practically human.

Lisa, you noticed!

Oh, Lisa!

- Um, Lisa? - Yeah?

You're waking Mr. Happy.

Eww!

Stop fondling the guests!

I am so sorry.

I'm very sorry.

That man stole my clothes!

That's not a waiter! That's the stowaway!

Captain!

Let's get out of here!

Ooh! I'm gonna kill him!

1, 2, 3, 4!

[instrumental music]

♪ Party all the time yeah ♪

♪ She lets her hair down ♪

♪ That girl can boogie down ♪

♪ Whoo ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪

They must've snuck out the upper deck.

Spread out, men!

♪ Party all the time ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪

- Thank you! - Thank you!

[cheers and applause]

Come on, now, what are we gonna do now?

You guys know any Motown?

Will you cut it out!

There they are!

Damn. They got us surrounded, gee.

What are we gonna do?

Come on, Captain Cosby, let us go.

I'll give you a pudding pop, look, come on.

Let's jump to the lower deck!

- Nah! Aah! - Aah!

(together) 'There is no lower deck!'

[splash]

[instrumental music]

[thunder rumbling]

Here's your tea.

Thank you, Lisa.

Are you gonna be okay?

I'm fine. It's just a little chill, that's all.

Aah! Ha-aah!

I guess I'm all warmed up now, huh?

So, do you think today was a complete disaster?

Are you kidding?

I got to sing with the band

I got in a wild chase, we swam the Atlantic

and I met that nice Cuban boat family.

Yeah. They sure do cram them in there, don't they?

So, I guess today was an exciting evening.

But the best part is..

- We're finally alone. - Yeah.

[tap on window]

Hey, Shawn, how long I got to stay out here, man?

It's cold!

Do you hear something?

Must be the wind.

Hmm. I think I'll take care of it.

(Marlon) Oh, bless you. Thank you.

Oh, help me, man.

Hey, Shawn, come on, man!

Aw, see that's wrong.

You're dogging a brother.

Come on, let's go in the room.

- It's quieter. - Ha ha.

Oh, that's cold, y'all going to be nice and warm up there

and you're gonna leave me out here in the cold?

I'm a black man.

I'm gonna tell ma on you.

[instrumental music]

Here's your coffee.

- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.

Oh! It's too hot, baby.

Ahh! Much better.

[instrumental music]

♪ I buy you champagne and roses ♪

♪ Put diamonds on your finger ♪

♪ Diamonds on your finger ♪

♪ I wish you'd bring some of your love ♪

♪ Home to me ♪

♪ 'Cause my girl want to ♪

♪ Party all the time party all the time ♪

♪ Party all the time ♪

♪ My girl want to party all the time ♪

♪ Party all the time ♪♪