Original subtitles

(Kirby) For most people, the S and P

is a "Grade D" convenience store.

The kind of place where you know not to use the hot dog tongs.

Itch, I'm gonna get you, itch!

But for me, it's more than that.

It's where I hang out with my friends,

where I go for inspiration.

Frozen burrito, I heat thee!

(metal guitar riff)

Myself, I clean thee!

It's like our second home.

But you can't take a place like that for granted...

because one day, it might be gone.

(theme music playing)

(Man) ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

(giggling)

Like what you see?

How about now?

Mwah.

Get out of here, Harrison!

You know this is the people section!

The city's sending over the health inspector today

and trust me, that weasel is not healthy.

All it eats is garbage off my floor,

so don't spill anything.

He's a sucker for a free snack.

Got it, don't spill... something, something.

Whatcha working on?

Well, I'm trying to come up with some new characters

for my web channel. People lose interest if you don't keep things fresh.

-(dinging) -Whoa, businessmen.

See Kirby, I told you my ad

in Money and Watches Magazine would pay off.

Welcome to the S and P, gentlemen.

How may I help you?

Uh, Gil, it's us.

Eli and Fish.

-(dramatic music) -Whoa, it is you.

Those are some seriously adult-looking suits.

They're for Terry Schmidt's birthday. He's rich.

Wait. I thought you guys didn't like Terry?

Oh, we despise him.

But word on the street is they're gonna be serving shrimp cocktail.

(Both) Ah!

You guys are going to a party for a kid

you don't even like for shrimp cocktail?

Tell me a food classier than shrimp cocktail.

You can't!

It makes me feel like I'm on a fancy cruise ship.

(Both) Ah!

You wanna come?

I'm sure there's enough shrimp to go around.

Thanks, I've got a lot of work to do.

And things at home have been... distracting.

(off-key) ♪ Sunlight all over the place ♪

♪ Feel the sweet breeze on your face ♪

♪ Morning Breeze ♪

♪ Morning Breeze ♪

♪ Morning Breeze ♪

(dogs howling)

I'm just gonna shut those windows.

So, feedback?

Keep in mind, this is gonna be a huge

national commercial, so my audition needs to be perfect.

-Uh... -Well... uh...

something that I thought you did perfectly...

was, um, hit that high E for effort.

-Nice. -Yeah.

(Dad) Well, on that note,

I'd have to say, G... I can C...

you are going to B A star.

-Those are all musical notes. -Yeah.

Agh! You guys are no help at all!

(off-key) ♪ Sunlight all over the place ♪

(better sounding) ♪ Feel the sweet breeze on your face ♪

(off-key) ♪ Morning Breeze ♪

(better sounding) ♪ Morning Breeze ♪

(better sounding) ♪ Morning ♪

What?

♪ Sunlight all over the place ♪

(better sounding) ♪ Feel the sweet breeze on your face ♪

♪ Morning Breeze ♪

♪ Morning Breeze ♪

♪ Morning Breeze, yeah ♪

Mom, I can sing!

That's... great, honey.

I'm... proud of you.

I think a star's about to be born!

-You heard? -Heard what?

Out of the way, I need to use the bathroom.

Copy that.

I can't believe it!

What kind of rich kid's birthday

doesn't even have shrimp cocktail?

Well, at least he had a baked potato bar.

And the illusionist was compelling.

I know... not the same.

Johnson! Takahashi! There you guys are!

Come on, you're missing the buffet!

Eli, do you realize what's happening here?

He thinks we're adults. It must be the suits.

One question, my fellow adult:

this buffet, does it happen to have shrimp cocktail?

Oh, more than you can eat.

Challenge accepted. Shall we, Johnson?

After you, Takahashi.

Gentlemen...

-(Fish) Thank you. -(Eli) Thank you.

(hip-hop music playing)

So, how'd I do? I think these floors are so clean, you could eat off of 'em.

I wouldn't go to the bathroom on these floors.

Which is very considerate of you.

Oh, let's see, we have got...

dried vomit, wet mold,

uh, wet vomit, dried mold...

(plopping)

weeds growing through the floors...

(squeaking)

No! Shoo!

...and traces of Mad Bread Disease,

which to be honest,

I didn't believe was a real thing.

So let's see...

Wow.

Somehow you are still one violation short of being shut down.

(sighs)

You're lucky we live in a town with such lax health regulations.

Ooh. Almost forgot my keys.

Oh, no, wait! I'll get those for you.

(gasps) A marsupial!

Come on, please!

We can clean this place up, I swear!

Look at the bright side.

It's the 20th business I've closed this year,

which means I get a $50 gift card to the Pasta Garden.

No! Come...

(Gil) It's not fair!

I just wanted to bring convenience to the world!

(Fish) Kirby, Gil. We came as soon as we heard.

They closed the S and P? What happened?

I spilled some chips on the ground,

and that weasel came out right when the inspector was there.

Well, I should probably head to my new home.

Home sweet home.

-You lived at the S and P, too? -Yep.

Don't worry about me, I can fall asleep anywhere.

I will be just fine.

Unless it rains.

(plop)

Or that happens.

You know what?

No way.

Grab your stuff, Gil.

You're sleeping at my house.

Whoa. Kirby never said he lived in a mansion.

It's like Bucketham Palace in here.

(twinkling sound)

(sniffing)

(slurping)

Kirby, I know we said you should take responsibility

for your actions...

But somehow it feels like we're being punished.

Well, I guess he could go back to living in that box...

if that's what you feel he deserves.

A box life.

(sighs)

Fine.

Gil?

(Mom) Welcome.

Please make yourself at home.

Could I offer you a... a towel for a... bath, maybe?

Please?

You know what? It's been a long day.

(Gil) If you don't mind, I think I'm just gonna hit the hay.

(snoring)

Kirby! Can I see you downstairs? Now?

-Hey, Dad. You're up early. -Am I?

Am I up so early that I went back in time

to when our house was the S and P?

Thanks for coming. Have a great day.

Hey, Kirby!

Look what I can do when I'm animated!

(squeaking)

Okay, now for the grand finale!

(drum roll)

Hello?! This is not a public restroom!

This is my recording studio, and I have an audition in ten minutes!

(toilet flushes)

Bleach.

I'm gonna need a lot of bleach.

(sighs)

Gil, what are you doing?

Well, your parents told me to make myself at home.

Plus, I know how much you love the S and P.

I thought it was a win-win for both of us.

Thank you, sir.

Come again and tell your friends.

No! Don't tell your friends!

Half our groceries are gone!

(Gil) Not gone, sold.

Here's your half. There's almost $27 in there.

-(laughs nervously) -Hm...

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

(burbling musically)

♪ A, E, I, O ♪

-(tablet rings) -Okay.

(ringing continues)

Principal Mitchell?

Yes, the Morning Breeze people hired me

to help with casting because I'm plugged

into all the hot talent in Forest Hills.

Also, I allowed them use the cafeteria.

Well, thank you so much for letting me audition from home.

We normally wouldn't, because I assume

you're terrible, but the song you left on our voicemail was...

better than seemed possible.

You may audition now.

♪ Sunlight all over the place ♪

♪ Feel the sweet breeze on your face ♪

- ♪ Mor... ♪ -(gasps)

Use the upstairs bathroom!

Miss Buckets, are you...

are you in the toilet?

I'm not in the toilet.

(overlapping whispers)

The Ad Agency thinks that's gross.

You'll need to come in if you want to continue

the audition process. Goodbye.

No, but...

I'm sorry, Kirby.

I don't know what went wrong.

It probably started with you inviting strangers into my house.

Nah, that's not it... I don't know.

I guess I'm just not fit to live anywhere besides the S and P.

You know what, Gil? I think it's about time

you learned some basic skills to survive in the real world.

And I'm gonna teach 'em to ya.

Okay. Go over, under, around and through.

(shuffling)

(gagging)

(gasping)

I can't, Kirby. I just can't!

Sure you can.

Watch.

No.

You have to learn how to drink without a straw.

(slurping)

I'm doing it!

(slurping continues)

(laughs nervously)

(Mr. Sands) Well, Gil, I have to say,

when Buckets here recommended I meet you,

I was doubtful, but...

there's something about you that just speaks to me.

Yeah, I feel it too.

Hey, Mom, It's really nice of you guys to introduce Gil to Dad's boss.

(whispering) Nice has nothing to do with it.

Either Gil leaves the house or we do.

Gil, I want you to call in the morning.

We always have room for a guy like you.

Thanks so much.

So, uh, let's have a toast, right?

-To new beginnings. -And new addresses.

(awkward laughs)

(slurps)

Uh, excusez-moy.

May I please borrow your pen?

Sure.

(slurps loudly)

What are you doing?!

My grandfather gave me that pen!

(dramatic music playing)

No!

(Mr. Sands) No!

My grandfather gave me these pants!

Good news, I uninstalled the toilet so I can bring it to my audition...

-Ah! -(screams)

Buckets, if you think this guy has a place in our company,

I'm beginning to wonder if you do!

You have a lovely home.

(screaming)

-Who am I kidding? -(door slams)

Me and the real world aren't meant for each other.

If you need me, I'll be living in the wild.

(sobbing)

Gil, wait!

I've looked for him everywhere.

I don't know where he could be.

Poor Gil.

I can't imagine what it must be like

to lose everything like that.

But I guess I could try.

-(scary sound) -Oh, man.

It's so bad.

(belches)

So this is the new hangout, huh?

(groans)

Not very inspiring.

I guess we're never gonna find a place as nice as the S and P.

(Fish) Ah, no thanks.

We're putting it on the tab.

You know tabs are still things you have to pay, right?

(dramatic sound)

Whoa. That's a lot of money.

Yeah... we can't pay that.

(intense music playing)

Whoa, hey.

No need to get all burly here, do we?

Takahashi, Johnson, is there a problem with the bill?

After all, we're all adults, and adults pay their tabs.

Yep, totally.

Adults pay their tabs.

But, you see, Chuck, the thing is...

(dramatic music)

-We're not adults! -We just wanted shrimp!

You know what?

Put it on my tab.

Chuck, that was the nicest thing ever.

Why'd you do that?

Oh, I was like you once.

A naive kid just lookin' for some shrimp.

Then the tab came due and I couldn't pay for it.

It's so big now, adding yours to it doesn't make a difference.

I'm... pretty much trapped now. Forever.

Well, maybe we can help.

Yeah... we can get this place shut down.

Kirby's good at that, right, Kirb?

Won't work.

This is a "historically preserved" building.

The city can't shut it down...

no matter how many dirty shrimp tails you throw on the floor.

Wait, wait, what did you say?

About the dirty shrimp tails or about not being able

to close this place down because it's a historically preserved building?

Guys, I think I figured out how to save the S and P.

Do not quit your day job.

Unless your day job is singing, then you should totally quit your day job.

Oh, snap.

Next!

Hi, I'm Dawn Buckets,

and I have question for you guys:

Is anyone actually going to be seeing the singer in this commercial?

That's what I thought.

So, I'm going to ask you guys to close your eyes.

Just focus on my voice. I promise it'll be worth it.

Imagine it's the first spring sunrise.

The cool dew on the grass.

The robins, they're chirping.

You feel something on your face. Is that...

the morning breeze?

(jingle music playing)

♪ Sunlight all over the place ♪

♪ Feel the sweet breeze on your face ♪

♪ Morning Breeze ♪

♪ Morning Breeze ♪

♪ Morning Breeze, yeah ♪

I told you to keep your eyes closed.

And yet we opened them.

Turns out, I don't take orders from toilet singers.

Wait, I... I... I know it looks weird,

but this toilet makes me sound amazing.

And I promise you, if you take a chance on quality,

even if it seems really strange,

people will find it refreshing.

Like a morning breeze.

One moment.

(whispering)

Good news, Miss Buckets.

Morning Breeze has found its new star.

I knew it! Thank you!

When do I start?

Oh, no. No, not you.

The toilet.

My toilet?

Yes. If it can do that for you, imagine what it could do

for someone who could actually sing.

Right. Yes. Of course. Excuse me a moment.

-(shattering) -(gasping)

Ladies and gentlemen

of the Forest Hills Preservation Society,

welcome to The S and P Experience.

Come with me on a journey through culture, scientific value, and history.

Now, in these very seats, an animated classic was created.

50 foot dive into two inches of water!

I don't know, this seems pretty dangerous.

Not dangerous enough!

-(screaming) -(dramatic music playing)

(screaming)

I told you I could do it!

My pet parrot, Rodney, was electrocuted in a bird bath.

On his birthday.

It was a birthday bird birdbath bloodbath.

So, excuse me if I don't find anything funny about bird-related violence.

Here's a fun fact: The S and P is the home

of the world's longest cooking hot dog.

That's historical.

These are awful!

-(squeaking) -Ah! A marsupial!

-(screaming) -(thudding)

-(squeaking) -No, it can't be...

(majestic music playing)

In all my years teaching Forest Hills High science...

I never thought I'd see this.

(squeaking)

A Forest Hills Slightly Spotted Mongeasel.

It's supposedly been extinct for years!

Um... hooray?

Hooray indeed!

Somehow, the S and P with its mold and rotting food

and potty floors are this creature's natural habitat.

(squeaking)

We've got to keep it open.

Whoa! How did I get here?

Gil! You're back!

I can't explain it.

It's as if I was drawn here

by a force more powerful than myself.

Hey, a hot dog.

-(chews loudly) -(clapping)

I can't thank you boys enough for helping me re-open the store.

Hey, I'm just glad to have my favorite hang-out place back.

To the S and P!

(All) To the S and P!

So, what do you guys think of my new shrimp smoothies?

(retching)

(smooth jazz playing)

Stay smooth, Kirby.

(belches)

Now that felt smooth.

Shrimp Smoothie.

It's good to be back in the place that inspires you.

(chuckles)

-Oh! -That was a little too hard.

In all my years teaching Forest Hills High science...

I never thought I'd see this.

You're crashing at my house.

-Shut up! Really? -(thud)

Ah! Ah!

-(belches) -Ah! Ah!

-(belches) -Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

(belches)