Original subtitles

[Film reel humming]

♪♪

[Cars passing]

Am I alive?

No.

Am I a man?

Yes.

Am I fictional? No.

Am I Dan?

[Candy Says' "Dead On Arrival" plays]

Do you think?

♪ Down into my lungs ♪

♪ Young face in alcohol flames ♪

♪ I was dead on arrival ♪

♪ I wish I had your voice at the end of the line ♪

♪ I'm a postcard waiting in forgotten time ♪

♪ I shiver on the floor of broken glass ♪

♪ I was dead on arrival ♪

♪ Took off my shirt, kicked off my shoes ♪

♪ I was twisting in a movie that I'd left for you ♪

♪ I said, "Throw me a cigarette" ♪

♪ I was king of the world ♪

♪ But I was dead on arrival ♪

♪ I'm blocking out the pain again ♪

♪ Don't know how to start again ♪

♪ Life on the road holds nothing but lost sleep ♪

♪ When a woman can be alone ♪

♪ With her weakness or sin ♪

♪ How does she write the sickness out of her heart? ♪

♪ Hooked and sick, now we're dust and done ♪

♪ So I said my good-byes, good luck and so on ♪

♪ Trembling hands, I must be insane ♪

[Camera shutter clicks]♪ But I was dead on arrival ♪

♪ I just don't know ♪

♪ Where I can be found ♪

♪ You don't remember ♪

♪ You don't remember ♪

♪ You said it's plain to see ♪

♪ I'm stuck on you ♪

♪ You don't remember ♪

♪ You don't remember ♪

♪ You don't remember ♪

♪ I just don't know ♪♪ I was dead on arrival ♪

♪ Where I can be found ♪♪ I was dead on arrival ♪

♪ I was dead on arrival ♪

[Sighs] A bit literal.

♪♪

Alex: How many mini Scotch eggs is too many?

Seph: How many have you had?20.

Maybe more.

Yeah, that's too many.

Come on.

We should go back inside.

It's only temporary. I do it in between acting jobs.

Yeah, I mean, it's advertising,

so [Inhales sharply] I guess that's always pretty well-paid?

And actually, the skills do feed in.

Yeah, no, I'm -- I'm really lucky.

Improvisation.

Mime.

Oh, no, no. That wasn't one of our clients.

To be honest, the thing I don't like about it is the name.

Nanny.

Stupid name for a job.

I think "hypocrisy" is quite a strong word.

Nanny.

Nanny!

I'm just gonna ask.

Is this the day to be asking me this?

Is this the day?

His mum's made me read loads of books about cot death.

All of death, actually.

There are loads of ways they can die.

Loads.

I hate people.

Babe, did you tell Dan's cousin I was a homeopathist?

No, I didn't.

I said you were a homeopath.

"Homeopathist" is not a word.

[Laughs] What are you talking about?

I don't tell people I first meet he works in the city.

People blame him for stuff.Seph!

I'm protecting him!

I wish I'd lied about my own job, to be honest.

I thought today was the one day I wouldn't feel like a failure.

You know, compared to dying, I'm doing all right.

Seph!What?

Sorry, could you, for one second, not make this

about your fucking self?

The guy's dead.

Alex: Should we go?

Just give me five minutes.

Hey, it's Pandora. Sorry, I can't take your call.

Leave a message and I'll ring you back.

Um, hi, Pan. It's me.

Um, Alex.

I'm so sorry to bother you.

I know you're working all day.

Um, I just...

I don't know. [Sighs]

I just -- I just really wish you were here.

It's really hard.

Um... [Sniffles]

I'm sorry. I'm not having a go.

I know -- I know you can't be here.

Anyway, um...

Sorry. Of course I'll lend you that money.

I'm -- I'm sorry I've been a twat.

Anyway, I love you.

I-I'll see you later.

♪♪

[Exhales sharply]

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

It's okay.

I'm not trying to make it about myself, but just...

No, I know.

I'm sorry.

[Sobs]

[Gruff voice] I love ya, mouse.

[Chuckles]

[High-pitched voice] I love you, too.

And you've gotta stop telling people you're a failure.

It's not failure like normal failure.

What?

Well, it's acting.

It's a lottery, isn't it?

It's, like, failure like...

"Oh, I didn't win the lottery."

You keep ploughing on, baba.

So brave.

♪♪

Are you sure that we could just...

What? Just leave.

Is that allowed?

No, no. Uh, hang on a second.

Wait there. Amelia!

Darling.

Alex: Sorry, we weren't sneaking out.

We have to show you something.

Henry.

Come on.

I've been calling this Dan's dongle.

[Chuckles]

♪♪

Right.

Let's leave them to it, shall we?

Darling?

♪♪

Go on.

Open it.

[Mouse clicks]

Hey-oh!

Is that...

Is that my bathroom?

So...

Okay, so, I'm gonna die.

Yeah.

And, um, you have no idea.

And I start fucking [Chuckles] chemotherapy tomorrow.

I mean, it's just --

It's just palliative.

The doctors took great pains to explain

that it's not gonna save my life.

Thank you, David. Yeah. [Laughs]

You know it's serious when they say, "Call me David."

[Laughs]

Okay. Right.

Yeah, I, uh...

I don't know when you're watching this.

How long I've been, you know --

♪ Ahh! ♪

Halo.

But I love you.

I love you both a lot.

And I am sorry that I'm not gonna tell you that I'm ill.

But I'm not!

I reckon one day -- one day, you'll get it.

Or not. I don't know.

Anyway, I've had a fucking --

I've had a fucking brilliant idea just now.

I'm gonna give you --

I bequeath you...

my ashes.

[Imitates explosion] Whaaat?

What? Yeah.

I've told my missus what I want,

and she's not happy about it, but fuck it!

Mum, if you are watching this, you fucking shouldn't be.

I told you --

Amelia, I'm really sorry.

You know, I didn't realize he hated me.

Really hated me.

But he does.

Did.

He really did.

Of course he didn't.No, he did.

You'll see.

What the fuck is wrong with him?

Seph: Well, you know...

probably the cancer.

I told you --Alex: Dan!

Dan, I think I'm actually gonna wet myself!

Oh, fuck off! All right, all right!

Oh, awkward time jump.

Ruined it for yourself there, Al.

[Chuckles]

[Exhales]

Okay, so, there are four places I wanna go back to.

And I want you to scatter a bit of me in each one.

Um, there's a list of the places -- I've written down

the exact post codes for your sat-nav or whatever.

And so you just take a laptop and a USB stick,

and I've made a video for each place,

so it will sort of be like I'm really there.

Oh, and Henry's agreed to lend you the car.

I asked him this afternoon, so...

sorted.

Road trip!

Whoo!

Yeah, essentially this is

"Thelma & Louise" plus "Casper the Friendly Ghost."

You are welcome.

[Doors opening]

♪♪

What the fuck's going on?

Henry: It belonged to his dad, this car.

Ancient.

And, uh, that's...

where he wanted to be stowed on the journey.

He put some thought into it.

Alex: Right. Fuck, sorry.

Please, fuck away. I do understand.

And this...

seemed like a more practical receptacle.

I thought you had to wait a bit...

for ashes.

I play squash with Colin.

Man from the crem.Right.

Nice guy.

Alex: I don't think we should do it. Seph: What?

Leave it a week. A couple. I-I don't know.

And then just take him back to them.

But it's what he wanted.It doesn't matter.

It's fucked up. It's really fucked up.

Even for Dan.

[Soft music playing on radio]I'll call you tomorrow.

Al, could we talk about this? Oh, please.

Pandora, turn that fucking radio off.

Oh, my God!

[Screams]

[Music stops]

Seph, Pandora.

Obviously, you know each other.

That's...

I have literally no idea who that is.

Rachel.

Rachel? Right.Alex --

Seph: Oh, my God.

Our friend just died.

Her friend just died.

Your girlfriend's friend just died.

Who refuses to go to a funeral?

Who refuses because they'd rather be doing...

I mean, what the fuck is wrong with you?!

Okay, I think this is between me and Alex.

Alex?

[Retches]Oh, my God, Alex!

I will cut you, Pandora.

I swear to God. Oh, God.

You were right.What?

20 Scotch eggs is too many.

James: Jesus Christ. [Sighs] What a day.

Seph: I'm gonna kill her. Seriously.

I'm gonna go 'round there tomorrow and I'm gonna

skin her alive and wear her as a coat to a fucking party.

Seph!Dan would want to sickle her.

He would! He'd probably come back and help.

Just calm down.

[Horn blares in distance]

Al...

Al.

Alex.

Can I please not talk about it?

James: All right.

Good night.

Night.

Are you okay? What?

I just...

Nothing.

Sleep well.

You, too.

I'll just be in there.

Obviously.

See you.

Okay.

[Candy Says' "Hit Me" plays]

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

[Exhales]

♪ Hit me with your time ♪

♪♪

♪ Hit me with your eyes ♪

♪ In these times ♪

[Sighs]

Al? Alex: Hmm?

Tea.

Mm-hmm.

I love you.

Mm, I can't breathe.

[Cellphone vibrating]Man: Yogurt is so on-trend right now.

You've got fro-yo. I grow my own yogurt.

Man: What? Bacteria?Yeah. Bacteria.

Anyway, uh, Alex is gonna tell you about the copy.

[Echoing] Alex?

-Oh, my God! -[Retches]

Alex.

-Alex... -My ashes!

-Alex. -Yes!

Sorry.

Yogurt.

Uh...

[Marker scribbling]

Ingrid: But Madan, this is what I'm saying. [Man sobbing]

I don't think you are depressed. -Well, I --

If you'll let me finish, please. -Sorry.

I think you are lonely and a little bit tired.

And Madan, I've just seen the clock.

I'm afraid we're out of time.

But if you just let what I've said...

marinate.

Okay?

And... -Okay.

...keep filling out the mood sheets.

Namaste.

[Exhales sharply] Divorce.

I don't think he's very bright.

He's --

Shh.

Into REM?

Lovely.

Coffee? Uh, yeah.

Thank you. Decaf for me.

Madan's left me slightly wired.

Sure.

Ingrid: [Gasps] Oh, talk to me.

Seph: What? Your friend. Your dead friend?

Oh.

Oh, you need to talk about it.

You must talk about it.Yeah.

Words are a paddle.

They're like a rudder through pain, you know?

Mm-hmm.Am I making any sense?

Yeah, I think so.

Don't think of me as your boss.

Thanks.

Don't think of me as James' boss's wife.

No. No, I'm...

I'm a human being, just like you,

and I'm here for you.

Anything you want, anything at all.

You're in the right place, actually.

I totally get it.

Well, actually I was --

Are there any Jaffa Cakes, by the way?

No. Fuck!

Sorry. I don't need them.

I don't need them. It's Pavlov's dogs, actually.

It's the smell of the coffee. [Laughs]

Sorry. [Sighs deeply]

Carry on.

Uh, well...

Actually, I was gonna ask you if I could take a week off.

♪♪

What?

I mean, it's simple, it's minimalist.

This generation YouTube have no attention span.

[Sighs] At the end of the day, it's yogurt.

It's not, I don't know, atomic fusion, is it?

Does Johannes mean nothing to you?

What? No! He's a baby.

You are proposing leaving a baby on his own for a week.

Well, to be fair --A week!

What's that thing that Bono did, when he clicked his fingers?

Yeah, a child dies every time I do that --

the time it takes someone to eat yogurt.

15 dead kids.

At least, because some people eat slowly.

This is actually classic Seph. This is textbook.

What I need to tell you is that your friend is dead.

There's nothing you can do about it.

It's a truth that we never want to acknowledge

that there is a skull at the banquet,

there is a worm at the core,

that death is the final answer.

[Dialing]

[Line ringing]

[Door closes, cellphone rings]

I've just been fired.

Let's do it.

Let's scatter Dan.

♪ Ba-ba-ba-da ♪

♪ Ba-ba-ba-da ♪

♪ Ba-ba-ba-da ♪

Oh, she really said that? Yep.

Fuck. Wow.

She didn't actually fire me until I pointed out

that she's there, you know, all the time,

and I am, therefore, somewhat surplus to requirements.

You know what she bought the other day?What?

An almond milker.What?

I shit you not.

She was shouting at me,

telling me I had no sense of responsibility,

and I had this beautiful moment of clarity.

I thought, "This woman milks nuts.

She milks them.

I mean, what am I doing?

What am I doing with my life?"

So I told her to go fuck herself.

Very strong choice.Thank you.

Were your lot not sympathetic?

What? About the funeral.

Oh. Yeah, I didn't tell them.

What?

Nothing.

I don't know. We just decided.

Alex: Thank you.

What?

No, not a whim.

Oh, for God's sake! We're driving across Britain.

It's not fucking Mexico!

I-I don't give a shit what you say, James.

I really don't.

But I'm not sorry, am I?

Oh, for God's sake! Look, I-I --

I don't expect you to understand.

Okay? Because you never liked him.

Did you?

Anyway, I-I'll...

I'll call you tomorrow, possibly.

Bye.

Dick head!

How's that working out for you?

Delicious.

I still can't believe Dan didn't tell us.

I can.

'Cause then you can just sort of get on with it, can't you?

Oh, my God, that's what you'd do, isn't it?

Yeah, probably.

[Cellphone vibrates]

Seph: Have you spoken to her yet?Nope.

Not at all? No.

You will have to, you know?

No.

But I mean, what about all your stuff?

It's just stuff.

Went out and bought more clothes this morning.

[Laughs]

But I mean, what about your laptop and your passport?

She's literally got all your stuff, Al.

Look, it's just stuff. Seriously, I don't care.

If there'd been a fire, right?

If there'd been a massive fire in the flat...

then I'd have lost it all anyway.

So that's what it's like. That's how I'm seeing it.

There was a massive fire or a bomb,

and all my stuff was lost and she died.

I mean, yes, the literal facts are that she's not dead

and that she's got all my stuff.

But it's how you look at it.

♪♪

So, rather excitingly, we seem to have got beyond Wirral

and are now in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere!

"Where possible, do a U-turn.

Do a U-turn."

Maybe just do a U-turn.Just shut up!

It'll come back in a minute.

Look, we are here, okay?

Glastonbury is here.

We are driving in the opposite fucking direction.

Are you sure?Yes! I'm s...

Hang on. Are you holding it the right way 'round?

Please, just get in the car before I punch you in the mouth.

♪♪

Seph: Okay.

Oh, hello!

Ah, Glastonbury Abbey.

Beautiful. Always wanted to come back here.

Could you just turn me around so I can see it?

Oh, it's beautiful.

Yeah, you can turn me back now.

Ah.

Um, okay, so...

I came here once, when I was a toddler, with Dad.

It was his favorite place.

And apparently, I took down my pants and peed

against one of the ruins like a dog.

Cocked my leg.

Very embarrassing.

Anyway, this place is meant to be, um, pff --

you know, important.

King Arthur's buried here, supposedly.

It's pretty glam.

And three unnamed Saxon kings.

Less glam, sure, but Dad loved it.

Came here all the time when he was at university.

"Spiritual."

That's what he said -- spiritual.

And, yeah, he wasn't, you know, like that.

So I believed him...

more.

Yeah. I mean, I don't know -- I don't know about that stuff.

But I don't want it to be that all I could say about the place

is that I once did a piss on it.

And Dad wanted to be cremated -- scattered here.

But no one listened to him.

They buried him. Did I ever tell you that?

His fucking sister!

Yeah!

Good one, Mandy!

Twat.

[Groans]

So...

I want a bit of me here.

'Cause a bit of me means a bit of him.

[Blows raspberry]

Ah. [Clears throat]

Oh!

Well, someone made you a lovely dinner.

[Laughs]

And hang on. Fuck.

Al has been talked into lending Pandora 500 quid?

Um...

Yeah, I think you should probably dump her, mate.

Life is too short, even if you're not me.

It's fucking nothing. It just goes.

We waste so much time.

And look, I know you.

I know that neither of you are very happy.

Not really. Not at the moment.

So, look, this trip is not just about me.

I want you both to have time,

to get some space, to just work out...

oh, I don't know, just work out some stuff,

whatever that means.

I mean, I can help you because --

Well, you have to listen to me.

You can't ignore me, because I'm dying.

I'm dead.

Ha.

Yeah, I'm dead.

[Exhales sharply]

Yeah, and I'm telling you, this is the worst thing,

feeling like you haven't made

the most of every tiny little second you've breathed.

Okay, so...

Um, this...

is for you two.

This is appropriate because

it's Kerouac, though you'll probably be

frequenting more Little Chefs than he did.

"The only people for me are the mad ones.

The ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved,

desirous of everything at the same time.

The ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing,

but burn, burn, burn

like fabulous yellow Roman candles,

exploding like spiders across the stars."

What?Not allowed.

We've never allowed scattering.

No way, José.

But why? I mean, it's just ash.

He's just ash.

Let me stop you right there.

It's not just ash.

That contains human bones and other parts of human.

We're a significant archaeological site.

And we've got badgers.

I can give you a guided tour.

Alex: Okay.

Six pounds each.

I won't charge you for him.

And you'll notice that a lot of these tombs are quite small

because people in Medieval times were very short of stature.

But I don't believe King Arthur

would have been short of stature.

I think he would have been a strapping man.

Handsome, with flowing hair, probably quite muscular.

Of course, his wife, Guinevere, cheated on him

with a knight -- um, Sir Lancelot --

um, because in those days, women could also be cheating,

lying whores, as they are now.

This.

Said to be the final resting place of King Arthur.

Right, so it's all right for him.

Different times.

It's different times.

It's better times.

Quickly, whilst her back's turned.

What?

It's never fully turned.

I can't believe we fucked up already.

It's the first place, and we can't do it!

Seph.

I mean, all that stuff about his dad, Al.

I mean, his poor dad.It's not our fault.

Come on, Seph, it's -- it's --

You know, it's the badgers.

[Exhales deeply]

I might...

have a solution.

[Container clicking shut]

Thank you so much.Thank you.

There he is.

It's better this way, isn't it?

Because he can stay here, and he won't be floating about all...

loose.

Yeah.

He'll be between here and the gift shop.

And I'll take him out at lunch times.

Thank you.

And on fag breaks, if I start smoking again.

I might do. Might -- Might not.

Right.

Don't worry. I won't use it as an ashtray.

I-I'm gonna look after him.

I promise.

[Seph sobbing]

Sorry.

It's okay.

People are just so...

weird and kind.

Yeah, I know.

Take him outside at lunchtimes.

God!

Hi.Jesus!

Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.

I just heard...

I just heard you -- heard sobbing.

Sorry, I was just having a...

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Here.

Oh, my God. Thank you.

They've got a, um, protective balm.

It's quite -- It's quite soothing if you've got,

you know, sensitive skin or something.

I do have sensitive skin.Yeah.

What you girls doing tonight?

Oh.

I'm Adam, by the way.

Hi, Adam.

Hey, this is Seph's phone.

Wait for the beep, and then say something fascinating

or offer me money.

Thanks. Bye.

[Beep]

Hey, babe, it's me.

Um, yeah, I'm sorry about earlier.

I-I guess I was just worried. Um, that's all.

But you're right. I was being a dick.

But the good part of it is I've got your job back.

So, yeah, I just -- I hope you don't mind.

I spoke to Tim, and I just explained to him that,

you know, it's been a bit of a...

You know, you're not...

Yeah. So, anyway, it's all fine.

All's forgiven.

So you don't need to sign on...

or go on the game.

Bad spot, either of those decisions.

Obviously.

Right. Okay. Love you.

Bye.

Yeah, it's just a small kind of gathering.

Friends, not foes.

We don't let the foes in here.

They can't dance, and they piss in the cider.

[Dance music playing]

♪♪

How -- How long are we going to be here for?

What?An hour? Two hours?

What? I don't know.

Can't we just see? See what happens?

Yeah, okay. I'm just -- I'm just checking.

Look, you need to chill out, okay?

Just relax.

Use tonight to listen to yourself.

Right. I can take that shit from Dan.

He's dead. You? No.

Listen, Sparky.

Have a drink, chat with some new people,

and chill the fuck out.

Hey, don't leave me on my...

♪ My skin crawls ♪

♪ Chewing on a mattress, screaming at the wall ♪

♪ Shallow life ♪

♪ Shallow life ♪

♪ Shallow life ♪♪ Hands and knees ♪

♪ Crawling on the floor ♪

♪ Cigarette burning on a cockroach wall ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Oh, my God! -Alex.

-Ashes. -[Retches]

You all right? Oh.

You okay?

Sorry. I just zoned out.

Ah. [Chuckles]

[Sighs]

Your mate...Yeah?

She seeing anyone?Yes.

Yeah, I thought so.

How about you?Me?

Yeah.I'm a massive bender, sorry.

Oh. Fair dues.

Fair dues.

[Exhales deeply]

Well, pretty hot.Yep. [Chuckles]

♪♪

Woman: Adam rescued me in London.

Seph: Really?

I'd been there for a couple of weeks or something.

It was a Sunday. Really busy.

And I was on my way to the fucking,

I don't know, Tate or something,

and this pigeon shat on me,

and then an old man flashed me.

Oh, God!

And I was eating this awful sandwich.

She told me it was halloumi, and it wasn't.

Uh-huh.

I just started crying.

Bawling, you know, like a little kid.

And then...

Adam just appeared.

I don't know. He was just there.

He gave me this hug.

And he told me everything was gonna be okay

and that he knew somewhere where I might be a bit happier.

He does seem pretty...

Pretty cool.He's amazing.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Adam: And they're dead.

And they're burnt out, but...

but in the future.

No, hang on.

Yeah, the past.

Yeah, the past. We -- We were looking at the past

'cause they're -- they're dead.

But to us, they're still burning.

That is -- That is life from -- from the past.

You know, that is life.

You know, the Tudors or something.

And we just waste all this time.

We waste our lives just...

worrying about things that don't even matter.

Like...

"Am I too fat?

Does she still love me?

Why did I get that tattoo or this satsuma?"

And we fight each other and kill each other and argue about

"My God is better than your God" and all that shit.

And all the while, we are...

we are looking out at death.

And it's really beautiful.

And that is actually, literally

lighting up the fucking sky at night, man.

Mm.

We should just -- We should just be calm

and say...

And say, "Oh, fuck it. It doesn't matter."

'Cause...

nothing matters.

'Cause it's okay.

God, Adam.

Adam: Sorry, I got a bit --

No!

Dan would have really liked you.

Yeah. Yeah, he would.

I'll take that as a profound compliment.

To Dan.

All: To Dan.

[Rooster crows]

[Birds chirping]

Huh?

Have you seen my shoe?

Uh, no.

Jesus.

Alex?

Alex!

Alex. [Gasps] Fuck.

What?

Alex, it's okay. It's me.

Oh, Jesus Christ. I know.

Where the fuck are we?

On a farm.

Oh, God.

It's fine. Come on. Let's just go.

It's -- It's fine.

We'll get some breakfast on the way.

Adam: Ahoy there!Oh.

Oh, hi. Hey, man.

Bit rough, yeah?

Oh. What time are we off?

What?

[Echoing] Come in the car with us. We'll take you.

-Really? -Yeah.

Yeah.

Adam: Cardiff, yeah.

Cardiff! [Laughs]

Girls are just getting their shit together, so...

I'll see you in a sec, yeah?

Road trip.

Adam: Music can be a distraction.

Sometimes -- Aah!

You know, sometimes it's better just to --

to listen to what's already there,

out there in the ether.

You know, you just listen.

You lis-- ♪ Ah! ♪

Listen and -- and see what you can hear.

See.

Now I can hear...

You know, I could hear the rain.

Pitter patter, pitter patter, pitter patter.

And I could hear, um...

hear the road beneath us.

You know, that's a constant -- [Gargles].

Sort of -- [Gargling].

It's quite a --

Yeah, it's quite a rough surface.

All part of the journey, though, isn't it?

And...[Cellphone vibrating]

Vibration. What's that vibration?

That's -- That's actually...

That's the vibration of my phone.

See? Who -- Who is it? Who's that?

Who's...

Yeah, probably.

Cool. We'll call him back later.

And then there's all of us together.

There's all our energy together.

Can you hear the buzz?

That's the buzz. The buzz of us.

Is this your car?

No, it's Dan's stepdad's.

Who's Dan?

Oh, shit. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry.

[Rock music playing on radio]

You guys want anything?Uh, no, we're all right.

Thanks. Cool.

See you in a second.

[Sighs]

Actually, I should probably go for a wee.

Wait. What?

I'm not driving up to Cardiff.What?

I know, I know. I'm a terrible person.

But I'm not doing it.

They're weird.

He's old, and they're weird.

They make me feel panicky. What if I end up like that?

I mean, is that what happens when you're arty

but essentially a bit shit?

Seph.

He has the charisma of a benign Charles Manson.

I don't like it. But...

I'll end up killing one of them. I swear to God.

I'll use one of them as a weapon to kill the other two.

Right, but, I mean, can we...

I mean, could we really just leave them?

Dan would have hated them.

He hates them.

[Tires squeal]

♪ Does the emptiness I feel ♪

♪ Does the emptiness I feel mean that I have not loved? ♪

♪ That I have not loved ♪

♪ That I have not loved ♪

♪ That I have not loved ♪

♪ Inside my head, I'm a ♪

♪ I'm a superhero ♪

♪ Inside my head, I'm a ♪

♪ I'm a superhero ♪

I feel really bad.Oh, shut up.

I think we should go back and get them.

No way!

But seriously, what if something happens to them?

Look, Alex, we've done a bad thing, okay?

Just...

try and enjoy it.

[Pop music plays on radio]

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Our eyes ♪

♪ Filled with last night's stars ♪

Oh. [Speaks Welsh]

What?

Welcome to Wales.

You are now in Wales.

Ooh.

Where does your mum live?

Why?

I don't know. I've never met her.

Well, why would you?

I've met most people's mums. You've met mine.

I don't know.

I've known you for nearly 10 years.

We're scattering the ashes of our newly dead friend.

Are you telling me that me meeting your mum would be --

what?

Taking this to an inappropriate level of intimacy?

♪♪

♪♪

Do I look like children's TV presenter in this scarf?

What? No. Shut up.

But different to your mum, so...

Don't be a dick.

Now, listen, I haven't told her what we're doing on the phone.

I haven't told her about Dan.

What? Why?

Just because. Please don't say anything.

She'll get upset.

[Dog barking in distance]

I've said we're scattering your granny.

What?

Oh! [Laughs]

Hello. Hello. Hi.

Oh. [Chuckles]

Come in.

What a lovely thing you're doing for your nan.

Oh, well, you know, it's what she wanted.

You'll stay tonight, won't you?

Mum, I told you, we...

We haven't got time to --Go on, Al.

We'd love to.

Brilliant!

I, uh -- I got the bedding out just in case.

Chicken Kiev's okay for your tea?

Lovely.

I'll -- I'll put the oven on.

What's wrong with you?

She's so nice.

Do you need a hand, Shelle?

It's a new carpet?

It is, yes.

Do you know Dai's lad down the hill?

No.

He lives down the hill.

This is our postman, Dai Persephone.

Oh, right.

Well, he's got a son, Dai does.

Evan, his name is, from his first marriage.

Didn't work out.

She ran off with a man from the Council.

Nasty piece of work.

Malcolm.

Smelled like bacon.

Anyway, Evan's a sweet lad, and he runs his own carpet shop.

He does it on the Internet,

as well as having a little shop you can go into.

Making a killing.

Actually, more like a genocide, in terms of numbers, apparently.

Anyway, he knew I needed a new carpet

because I've been going on about it for months.

And I was down his way about a fortnight ago,

and he said to me, "Oy, Shelle!

I am doing a certain kind of carpet

for half price this week."

And I said, "Oh, right, are you?"

And he said, "Yes!"

Oh, he fitted the whole thing.

Only took about an hour.

Oh, it's lovely.

It is lovely.

It's a lovely color.

Oh, thank you.

Do you like it?

Yeah. Yeah, it's quite nice.

[Chuckles]

She doesn't know about Dan.

What about Pandora?

[Rain pattering]

Does she even know about her?

Al, does she know you're gay?

[Sighs deeply]

♪♪

[Cellphone vibrates, chimes]

♪♪

Hey. It's me. Um...

Can you call me, please?

This feels weird.

I've been doing some very weird things

with you not being here.

Just ate a pack of crisps on the toilet.

And...

And, um...

I've been feeling bad about Dan.

I didn't hate him.

He could just...

He could be a bit of a twat sometimes, couldn't he?

But I didn't hate him.

[Sighs]

[Door opens]

Oh!

[Laughs]

All right. Bye.

Look after her, won't you?

Of course I will.

Thanks for having us.

Al...

I really do not want to talk about it, okay?

[Car door closes]

[Engine starts]

What?

This can't be right.

Oh, let's just watch the video.

And what is the significance of Livid Nightclub, you ask?

Well, traveling friends,

you are standing by the hallowed ground

upon which I lost my virginity on a geography field trip.

It was beautiful.

I mean, sure, it was in a toilet, but it was beautiful.

I was 13. She was a bit older.

We both had train tracks,

and I had a light smattering of acne on my top lip.

Hot.

And as a result of my love affair,

I remember very little about shale formation,

and there were fannies.

[Laughs]

Fuck.

Cheers.

So...

I was Googling this, um, thing today.

It's crazy. You should do it.

Apparently, it's a one-in-800,000 chance

of someone my age getting pancreatic cancer.

One in 800,000!

Lucky.

Yeah, I'm basically very special.

Okay. Right.

We're gonna play a game.

I want, uh --

I want each of you to tell the other one something

about yourself that they don't know.

Do it now. Pause the video.

Pause the video!

Oh, come on.

I don't think I'm in love with James anymore.

What?

Well, what are you gonna do?

I don't know.

You go. What?

No. I'm sorry.

Can we just...[Click]

Okay, here's a fun fact.

Uh. Fun?

Yeah, it's actually quite weird.

But you have both,

at some point in your lives,

given me a blow job.

[Laughs]

Awkward! [Laughs][Seph laughs]

Oh, fuck. I'm sorry.

I'm awful.

We're awful.

[Chuckles]

Yeah, I love you both very much.

But...

not in a sexy way.

I'm just glad we worked that out before I died.

[Laughs]

Hmm, not that it worked out much else.

Fuck, I always thought I would know eventually.

You know.

I mean, definitely before I fucking died,

I thought I'd settle.

And I'd have a husband or a wife, and we'd be 80,

living in charming artistic squalor.

Okay, Seph, you need to ask Al to tell you about Amy.

That one is serious, Al.

You need to do that, okay?

Just please.

Because I know I'm the only person you've told, Al,

and I'm not gonna be around anymore.

I won't be able to help you, so just tell someone else.

All right, Yoda!

Jesus.

[Container clicks]

Alex: Right, go on, then. When did you do it?

Years ago, that time we went to Corfu.

And you all became convinced I was an alcoholic.

Oh, yeah.

You took me to an AA meeting in a Taverna.

[Laughs]

When did youdo it?

Um, oh, at his mum's house.

One of his birthdays.

It was fancy dress, and I was wearing a crown.

I initiated the whole thing.

Did you? Yeah.

Brazen.[Laughs]

Did you keep your crown on?

Yes.

[Pop music playing on overhead speakers]

James?

Oh, God.

I mean, he's nice and he's kind and...

he's all the things.

All of them.

But...

it's got to the point where I can read his face so well.

I know his sex eyes.

You know, when someone's trying to initiate sex.

Right.

And my heart sinks.

I just think, "Go on, then.

It's probably less mind-numbing than talking to you

for another eight minutes."

I mean, I've had sex out of politeness before,

you know, with people,

when you think, "This is probably less awkward

and time-consuming than explaining to you why

I'm backing out."

But it shouldn't be happening with him --

with James, should it?

No. Probably not.

[Groans]

Who's Amy? No.

Let's get a hotel and get really pissed.

Fuck that. Let's take Dan back to Livid.

Mm. [Laughs]

[Dance music playing inside]

Fuck. It's fucking freezing.

You want my coat?

It comes at a price.Oh, fuck off.

Yeah, you're all right. Thanks.

No, he's just being a cock.

Serious.

Have it.

Are you sure?

Thanks.

♪ My love is chemical, chemical, chemical, chemical ♪

♪ Chemical, chemical, chemical, chemical ♪

♪ Chemical, chemical, chemical, chemical ♪

♪ My love is chemical, chemical, chemical, chemical ♪

♪ Chemical, chemical, chemical, chemical ♪

♪ Chemical, chemical, chemical, chemical ♪

♪ My love is chemical, chemical, chemical, chemical ♪

♪ Chem, chem, chem, chem, chem, chem ♪

♪ Chemical ♪

Excuse me.

Excuse me!

Fuck, for Christ's sake.

♪♪

♪ Play me like a record in your jukebox ♪

Oy! She's got a boyfriend.So?

So she's got a boyfriend! You've got a fucking boyfriend.

You do?

Maybe. She does.

His name's James.

Oh, piss off, Al.

♪ Play me like a record in your jukebox ♪

♪ Uh-oh, bad move ♪

♪ Uh-oh, bad move ♪

♪♪

[Indistinct chatter]

This is all your fault.

[Seph laughs]

Oh, shit.

What?

Uh, I need to talk to her.

Okay.

Alone.

Oh, all right. I'll -- I'll just stand over here.

No, you go back inside. I'll find you in a minute.

Can I get your number?

I'll find you back inside.

[Door opens, closes]

Did you just shag him?

It was a homage.

A what?

An homage to Dan.

We were in the toilet.

[Laughs]

Alex!

Hey, this is Seph's phone. Uh, I'm away for a bit.

But leave me a message and I'll call you when I get back.

Seph, call me back. Please, just...

Please.

I know you're pissed off, but this is starting

to make me feel pathetic.

[Gruff voice] Come on.

Little mouse.

I've been to your house.

And you're not there.

Where are ya?

[Normal voice] Where are you?

[Cash register beeping]

Alex, wait.Seph, please. Just stop talking.

All right? Yes.

Good night?Yeah. Sorry, we're just --

You two having a row?No, mate. We're just --

You having a lesbian row? Are you lesbians?No, no.

We're just -- Please.

Do you want me to give you a little kiss?

No, I'm all right.Thanks.Back off, mate.

Just a little kiss. That's all right, innit?

Are you trying to get him to snog you?

Jesus Christ.

You can touch my cock if you want.

[Laughs]I don't -- I don't mind.

Or, you know, you two could get off with each other,

and I could touch my own cock.

Could we just use the cashpoint?

Oh, why so sensitive, huh? It's just a fucking joke.

Yeah.You wanna touch his cock?

I've seen it. It's massive.

Gay.Thick as a baby's arm, love.

It's been really nice to meet you. Please.

I don't wanna touch you. I don't wanna have sex with you.

I'm really tired, and I just wanna use the cashpoint.

So can you please just let me do that?

You actually think I wanna fuck you?

You think I...

would wanna fuck you?

You arrogant little bitch.No, I'm --

I'm not --Well, you know what?

I would fuck you. I would.

But I wouldn't like it.

And neither would you.

But I'd do it to teach you a lesson, you fucking dike.

[Seph screams]

What the fuck's the matter with you?!

[Screaming]

[Door opens, closes]

[Panting]

What the fuck was that?

I got taught it in self-defense at school.

Helicopter arms.

Confuse the attacker.

Majority of people don't actually want to assault

someone who manifests genuine psychiatric problems.

Too much hassle.

I mean, technically that's the windmill, isn't it?

Sure.

Look, we can just go home if you're so fucking furious, Alex.

Dan wanted us to take him to York.

So we're taking him to York.

God, I miss him.

Me, too.

[Dance music playing on radio]

-My... -Alex?

...ashes.

[Cellphone vibrating]

Hi, James.

James says to call him.

What? Alex, what did you s--

Fuck off. As if I'd tell him.

Give me a bit of credit.

Sorry.

I just said we're on our way to York

and that your phone's been out.

Look, I'm sorry if what I did upset you.

That's not an apology.What?

If you put the onus on the person's reaction

rather than what you did, it's not an apology.

"Sorry for what I did" is being actually sorry.

"Sorry if what I did upset you" is not.

You're basically telling me I'm being overly sensitive.

Jesus Christ.

Look, Al. I just wanted--

We don't have to talk about it.

I want to. Well, I don't.

Why not?Why, do you think?

It's not the same.Stop talking about it!

Look, it's not like I think that what she did to you is okay, Al.

[Tires squeal]

What the fuck are you doing?!

If I say I don't wanna talk about something,

I fucking mean it, all right?

♪♪

[Horn blares]

Fuck!

Seph: Have you ever done an Airbnb before? No.

Weirdly, I still prefer hotels to complete strangers' houses.

Excellent. Uh...

So, our host's name is Doug.

25 reviews of people saying what a nice man he is.

You're gonna get a bonk on him, as well, are you?

[Kettle whistling]

My goodness.

How tragic!

Do you know why he chose York?

We tend to find out when we watch the videos.

I see.

Ah! Must be off. Rehearsals!

Look, I'll, um -- I'll leave you these keys.

Are you an actor?

Am-dram.

What are you rehearsing?

"The Passion."

"The Passion of the Christ."Oh, right.

Wow. Seph's an actress.

Sometimes.Ah! Chapeau, my friend.

Chapeau!

[Laughs]

[Door closes]

[Bell tolling in distance]

Woman: Excuse me.

Hi. Hi.

Seph: Hi. Hi.

Um...

Oh, sorry. Did you want to...

O-Oh, no.

After you.

Uh, okay. Um...

Woman: All done?Yeah. [Chuckles]

Go on, love.

His mum. Oh, right.

I'm sorry.

I'm not.

Oh, hey, guys!

I just got back from seeing your play, Seph.

"Little Women."

Jesus.

It is...

the first time I felt relatively okay

about facing imminent death.

It was fucking shit.

Yeah, and Alex was meant to meet me for dinner before,

but she was late, so I had a pizza on my own.

Mm, gonna feel pretty bad about that now, Al, aren't you?

Yeah.

You should.

So, York's pretty nice, huh?

[Sniffles] Mm-hmm.

It's where my dad was born

and where Mum and Henry decided to get married.

Good one.

Broke his fucking heart.

Mum.

You're probably watching all of these,

even though I've expressly told you not to.

You're a bitch.

He's dead.

I'm nearly dead.

And you're just there, pottering around, doing...

I don't know, whatever the fuck pointless things you do.

Tell me, how is that fair?

Huh?

I'm fucking...

I'm 29.

Whew.

So, I had my CT today.

And I'm fucked.

Totally.

It's not working.

And God...

You know, tonight, Al, you, um --

you actually complimented me on my beanie.

[Laughs] Yeah.

I mean -- I mean, sure.

I'm on trend, as usual.

But fuck.

And...

I'm sorry.

I am sorry I'm lying to you,

but, seriously, fuck you for believing me.

I thought I was gonna be good at dying.

Like, really good.

Like, um, they'd project me at TED Talks,

and I'd be appreciated after my time.

[Pours drink]

But no. Turns out...

I don't wanna die.

I love being alive.

Much more than you two.

You just fucking moan and feel sorry for yourselves.

You just go on and on and on and on and on, all the time.

It's so fucking tedious.

Seph.

You need to get your head out of your arse

and realize that you're not really good at acting.

No one will ever tell you that, so I'm doing it.

I don't give a fuck.

Do something else.

Alex is too polite to say anything,

but I bet she agrees with me.

James is too fucking supportive to say anything either.

He's an idiot.

He's a fucking patronizing idiot.

Yeah, and don't think you're getting off the hook, Alex.

No.

You say you're honest.

Yeah?

You say you pride yourself on that?

And then you keep all these secrets.

Amy.

Has she told you about Amy yet, Seph?

No, probably not, even though I asked you to.

So fuck you if you didn't.

Because you should be doing what I say.

And you're a liar.

You push people away.

I mean, what's the point of you?

Either of you. What's the point?

♪♪

[Sighs]

♪♪

[Cellphone ringing]

♪♪

Hey.

I'm in York.

Don't tell Seph.

Where are you?

♪♪

Right.

There's something you should know.

What?

Oh, my God, is that...Yeah.

Hi. Hi.

Sorry, Al, do you mind giving us a minute?

Yeah, absolutely.Thanks.

You good for a drink?Yeah. Yeah.

Cool.

Are you okay?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

You're unbelievable, Seph.

Unbelievable! Okay?

You lose your job, which --

pardon me for trying to be helpful -- I got you,

making me look like a fucking idiot in front of my boss

because you're supposed to be looking after his only child,

and he has to tell me that you've told his wife

to go fuck herself and thrown a baby monitor at her.

And then you just take off without even telling me.

I haven't got a clue where the fuck you are,

apart from the fact that you're with Al somewhere.

And -- And thank God for that,

because at least she picks up her fucking phone!

Sorry.

Look, I can't just write it off as grief,

to being upset, okay?

Other people are finding it hard, too, you know?

It's not just you.

It is possible to deal with things in a better...

in a less selfish way.

I've been so worried about you.

-James, I -- -No.

Listen, you don't need me.

And I don't need you.

But I want you.

Seph, I-I want you so much.

Will you marry me?

Jesus. Fuck.

Yes.

Yes. [Chuckles]

[Exhales]

Oh, my God.

James: Are you sure you don't mind?Of course not!

I mean, you two should, you know, have a night and...

I mean, congratulations.Thank you.

So great! What the fuck are you doing?

I've got to get back for a lunchtime meeting, so...

I'll see you in London, okay?Oh, yes.

Yeah. But hey!

Chief bridesmaid, so go ahead and start buying penis straws...

Mmm!...and booking strippers...

Yeah!...and all the classic stuff.

All right, then. Bye!

Bye! See ya.

Come on.

♪♪

Dan: I mean, what is the point of you?

Seriously. Either of you.

What's the point?

You're a liar.

You push people away.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Oh, hi, Doug. I was just --

Where's the other one?Who? Seph?

The actress! She's -- I-I don't know.

I just tried to call her, but --Damn!

What's wrong?Well, it's a disaster.

A fucking disaster! Excuse my language.

What's happened?

Can you spare me three hours?

I'm desperate. Please.

Legally, we can't put on a performance without a full dress

to test out all the harnesses and so on.

And he hasn't shown up!

Who hasn't turned up?

Woman: We're so grateful. Thank you.

Right. Back in a second.

Sorry, where are you going?

Hang tight, kid.What?

What have you...

Come back!

[Seph laughs]

What on Earth is going on?

Alex: Oh, what took you so long?

I mean, this is truly an extraordinarily

literal manifestation of your maso-complex, Al.

Fuck off.

I assume your version of the Son of God

is one where he's got all these weird secrets and he's been

secretly shagging someone called Amy, rather than Mary Magdalene.

Seph, seriously, you don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, go on, then.

Talk to me.

Talk to me!

Look, I'm an awful person, okay?

I'm awful.

I'm a cock.

I did a rude in a toilet with a man I don't know.

I'm a filthy slapper, whatever.

Are you -- Are you drinking wine?

Look...

I don't think telling James is a solution here.

I don't think that alleviating my guilt by telling him is --

Oh, right, yeah. Here we go.

I'm serious.

I mean, what good would it do him, actually, to know?

He'll know!

Knowing's...

It-- It's really important, Seph.

If you don't know stuff, then you don't know someone.

Bullshit.He's a nice guy!

He's not a nice guy.Oh, Seph, fuck off.

He isa nice guy. Okay.

So he isa nice guy. Yes.

I think you did a bad thing, okay?

You did a shit thing.

You're a shit.

But that's not the thing, okay? The sex isn't the thing.

But to not tell him and then agree to marry him!

I'm not actually gonna marry him!

Jesus!

I was just shocked about what Dan...

I was angry about what he said about James.

And I didn't want to humiliate him in the pub,

despite his fucking

Mr. Darcy "I love you in spite of yourself" proposal.

I'm not gonna actually go through with it.

Well, then that's really shit.

And I think Pandora did a shit thing to me

because she could have just told me she wasn't happy.

Could she? Yes, she could!

Of course she could!

But she didn't.

She lied. She fucking -- She fucking lied.

And you're doing exactly the same thing to James.

You're doing...

And you're gonna break his heart.

I just can't -- I can't -- I can' --

I can't deal with people! I can't deal with them.

Their thoughts and their feelings

and their lives being all mixed up with mine.

Just fuck off!

Alex, please!

I'm sorry I've been such a dick, okay?

I really am.

And I know you think I'm evil

and that I'm like Pandora, but I'm really not.

Okay?

And I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I'm not like you.

I wish I was. Honestly.

I really, really wish I was.

I wish that I had your morals. But I don't.

I killed my sister.

What?

Amy.

That's who Amy is.

♪♪

Amy got hit by a car.

All that stuff with Mum -- me and Mum -- why it's hard?

Well, it's that.

Amy got hit by a car, and she died.

Sort of because of me.

Well, definitely.

And I told Dan once, when we were really drunk.

And I made him promise not to tell you.

Not to tell anyone.

I was 5.

And she was 2 1/2.

She was really small.

Tiny.

And I was -- I was making a...

you know those daisy-chain crown things?

And I-I left her to go pick some more when I shouldn't,

and she ran out into the road.

[Sniffles]

Mum and Dad split up, mainly because of that.

It was just me and her.

And she was really nice most of the time,

but then she'd get drunk and she'd tell me

it was all my fault.

Though she feels bad about it now.

We just -- I just don't --

I just don't really like being around her.

[Sniffles]

People just -- they want stuff from you, you know?

And you can't give it to them, even if you try.

You just end up hurting them, so there's no point.

I don't think you're bad or evil

or whatever it is you think I think.

I just think you should just not be with James.

Al -- And fuck Dan!

I swear to God. Fuck him.

Fuck you!

[Sobs]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Man: Um...

And you and your mum never talk about it?

No.

What about Pandora?

God, no.

Al, you should talk to someone.

Yeah, I know.

It's just...

I worry about starting talking, you know?

What happens if you start...

and, I don't know, you can't stop?

You just become it.

You -- You just become all of your stuff?

I don't wanna talk about Amy again, okay?

Please.

Okay.

I'm not being a dick. I just...

I don't remember anything about it.

[Scoffs]

Just what I got told.

I don't have my own actual memory about it.

It's all right.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

I don't wanna scatter the last bit of Dan.

Me neither.

I don't wanna remember him like that.

Let's take him back to Amelia's.

Yeah.

Seph: Are you sure you don't mind driving?

Alex: No, it's fine.

I'm just sorry I drank, again.

It's okay.

Let's just go home.

Yeah.

At least we don't have to go to Scotland.

Yeah. Too cold.

Al. What?

That's a bit weird.

Do you think we should stop?

No. I don't--

I'm sure it's fine.No, I don't.

She looks quite vulnerable, actually.

Look, we can't have this conversation in front of her.

Just keep driving.

♪♪

What if it's a sign?

-What? -From Dan.

Never pick up hitchhikers. You know that.

Look, I really don't think Mary Poppins

is gonna be able to rip us, do you?

What if someone dodgy picks her up?

[Groans]

♪♪

Hello.

Hello.

You okay?

Yes.

I'm Seph.

Sorry?Seph.

Persephone. Oh.

Lovely name.

Thank you.

I'm Alex.

Alexandra?

Oh, just Alex.

Oh, sorry.

I'm Diana.

So, where is it you want to -- to get to?

Oxnam, where my son lives.

Okay.

Is that an iPhone?

Yeah. It is, yeah.

You got one? No.

I lost my phone.

I mean -- pah. I didn't have one.

Um, so...

Where is Oxnam? Which, um...

Which county is it?

Scotland.

Oh, uh...

I'm so sorry, Diana.

We're going south.

What?

We're headed south. I'm so sorry.

We can't take you to Scotland.What?

Oh! Hey, look.

It's okay. It's okay.

We need to get petrol, so just come with us.

We'll take you to a service station,

and we'll work out what to do.

Oh.

[Engine starts]

♪♪

Alex: It's a sign. What else does Dan have to do?

Come back from the dead wearing a fucking kilt?

So now you do want to go to Scotland?

She's -- Ugh, I don't know.

Yeah. Yes, I do.

Alex! What?

There's something really not right about her.Exactly.

I'm not being a dick,

but do you think we should try and get her sectioned?

What?

I mean, for her own good.

You -- You can't just get someone sectioned.

Why not?Because just -- you can't!

They don't have a fucking roving rural team

of mental-health specialists boning around Yorkshire.

I'm serious. She's mad.

It's worrying me.She's not mad.

She's running away from someone.

Seph, I think she's really frightened.

Diana: Yes.

We're going to drive you to Scotland.

Are -- Are you sure?

Yes.

♪♪

Alex: Did you laminate that, Diana?

Oh, yes. I thought for the rain.

Yeah.

I'm sorry for what I said -- the mad business.

Oh, gosh.

Don't be.

I'm sorry you were frightened.

I'm just not quite...

myself.

Are either of you married?

No. No.

Don't you have a ring?

I saw it before.

Yeah.

I do.

I'm not sure.

Is he -- Is he nice?

Yeah, he's really nice.

But he might be nice for someone else.

Was yours not...

not nice?

Seph, for God's sake.

No, he isn't.

Alex: So you said your son's in Oxnam.

-Sorry? -Your son.

You said, um, that's where he lives.

Yes. He's a vet.

Right.

I haven't seen him for...

for years.

His father -- my...

He was...

He made him leave when he...

And, I didn't...

Daniel.

Both: What?

That's his name.

Daniel.

Dan.

I need a drink.

Seph: What would you like to drink, Diana?

Oh, let me, please.

No, no, it's my round. What would you like?

Oh, um -- [Laughs]

A whiskey, please.

Some coke.

I'm just gonna, um, go for a cigarette.

Can I come?

Yeah, of course.

Alex: Do you want one?

Oh, no. I don't, thank you.

All right. [Chuckles]

[Lighter clicks]

Seph: Hey, have you got any cash?

What?

They don't take card.

Oh, here. Let me.

Uh, no. No.

I wanted to because of, you know, before.

No, please.

And I-I-I want to pay you for the petrol, as well.

I wrote it on my sign.

No, you don't have to...

I'll pay you back.

Alex: Is...

Is that all your money?

Do you not have a card?

You shouldn't be carrying around that much cash.

I don't have a bank account.Right.

I think he was gearing up to kill me, finally.

Maybe I do sound mad.

No.

We'll get you to your son's. I promise.

It's okay.

It's okay. Don't worry.

Alex: So we just thought, "Enough."

I mean, we don't want to remember him like that.

Seph: Yeah.

But...

What?

I'm sorry. Forgive me for saying this.

No, that's okay. What?

He's very ill, this boy -- your friend.

He's dying.

He's just...

angry.

Mad. Cruel.

But he's not angry with you.

You should take him.

Finish it.

Because if you don't, you might regret it.

You willregret it.

You'll feel bad,

and you'll alwaysfeel bad.

And you'll say you'll come back here and do it,

but you won't.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Oh.

♪♪

♪♪

You know, I don't think it's...

Actually, I-I don't think it's...

Because he looks so...

Yes. No, no, I-I don't think it's a good idea.

Yes, I think it's best if I...

Can you take me to the nearest train station, please?

♪♪

[Car door opens, closes]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

It's all right.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Car door opens]

[Sighs][Car door closes]

You okay? [Exhales]

Yeah.

Give me a sec, Al, yeah?

[Car door closes]

[Dialing]

Hi, James.

No, I'm fine.

Listen.

♪♪

♪♪

Dan: So, about the last time we, uh...

met.

Yeah, you probably wonder why I'm keeping that in.

Why not just make everything nice?

Well, 'cause that would be bullshit.

You know it. I know it.

And, uh, that's not what this is.

[Sniffles]

I can be a dick, as you know.

And you're both awful...

sometimes.

Yeah, I mean, mostly not, but...

[Chuckles]

Anyways, in, uh...

for honesty...

for balance --

and that may not seem like the right thing to do,

but there you go.

♪♪

You, um...

You were just here.

Came to visit me.

♪♪

So...

Ben Lomond.

Um...

Yeah. I, uh -- I came here with Henry.

Um, I'd not been great.

I was 17, sad, self-indulgent.

[Laughs]

Just broken up with someone.

Okay, fair enough, she'd just broken up with me.

[Laughs] Um...

And Henry took me on a walking holiday.

Um...

Yeah, and it was

honestly one of the best things I've ever done.

We were out there for about a week.

Yeah, I hated it at first.

Hated him for taking me there.

We had these really long, awkward walks in silence.

[Chuckles]

But then...

I don't know.

Well, no, I do know. I just stopped being a dick.

And, uh, Ben Lomond was where we went on the last day.

And I think it's one of the most beautiful places

I've ever seen in my life.

Um, yeah, and when we got to the top,

I remember thinking very clearly to myself,

"I wanna come here again.

And I wanna come here with someone I really love."

And I love you.

♪♪

Oh, and please,

can you make sure you keep a bit of me...

for Mum and Henry?

For Mum.

Mum...

I'm really sorry.

I really, really am.

Um, you were here this morning with Henry and...

Oh, fuck. We can't do it, can we?

We just can't talk.

I can't, anyway.

And I tried just now. Like, I really did.

But I just can't put my heart in my mouth

and say all the stuff.

And now there's no time.

But, look.

Despite everything, just...

know that I love you.

Please, just know that...

because I don't know if I'm gonna be able to say it

live, as it were.

You two, please make sure my mum watches this.

She probably has, but just in case she found the last one

hard or whatever, just make sure she does.

[Exhales deeply]

♪♪

Okay.

Bye, Mum.

Bye, Henry.

Bye, you two.

Bye, everyone.

I love you.

♪♪

♪♪

Oh, and...

watch out for false summits.

There's a few.

Man: Hi.

Good morning.Hi.

♪♪

Does that look...

oh, higher to you?

Seph: Shit.

Shit.

Try not to fuck it up!

But don't worry if you do.

[Chuckles]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ I'm not myself, I feel less than anything ♪

♪ And what we have is not what it seems ♪

♪ We are the vices waiting for the virtues ♪

♪ We're not kings, we are not kings ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪♪

♪ We are the lost waiting for the sun ♪

♪ The beautiful things that we have done ♪

♪ I can feel the rough edge of your tongue ♪

♪ I'm on my knees, I'm on my knees ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Everybody wants you to be ♪

♪ Somebody else ♪

♪ Everybody wants you to be ♪

♪ Somebody else ♪

♪ If I could draw a diagram of our love ♪

♪ Then I would want a different kind of buzz ♪

♪ There's not enough love to weigh us down ♪

♪ But it's all I've got, it's all I've got ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ I crave ♪♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ A different kind of ♪♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ I crave ♪♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ A different kind of ♪♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ I crave ♪♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ A different kind of ♪♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ I crave ♪♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ A different kind of ♪

♪ Everybody wants you to be ♪

♪ Somebody else ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪ Everybody wants you to be ♪

♪ Somebody else ♪

♪ Gotta get out before my heart explodes ♪

♪♪

♪♪