Original subtitles

♪ Listen to me, baby, there's something you must see

♪ I wanna be with you, girl, if you wanna be with me

♪ But, if you've gotta go, it's all right

♪ But if you've got to go, go now,

♪ Or else you've got to stay all night. ♪

Sorry, sir, can I ask you to remove your hood?

And your glasses.

Where have you travelled from?

Nowhere to nowhere.

Really, it's never ending.

Right.

Today - where have you come from today?

Today?

Today. That's a good question.

It's been such a long flight, ma'am,

I think today might have been yesterday.

Yesterday is just a memory.

Malibu.

I've come from Malibu. Is that where you live?

When I'm there, yeah.

What's the purpose of your visit? I was invited over by my friend.

-Dave. -That was nice of Dave. Yeah, that's what I thought.

-How do you know Dave? -Same way most people know him know him.

He's a Eurythmic.

A what? A song and dance man.

Like me.

Right.

Zimmerman. Yes, ma'am.

Robert Zimmerman. Yes, ma'am.

Isn't there somebody famous called Robert Zimmerman?

Well, if there is, I guess we would have heard of him.

Enjoy your stay.

Say hello to Dave.

I'll be sure to give him your regards.

He's a nice man.

-Where to, mate? -Oh, I got the address here somewhere.

It's not that.

I think I can remember it - Crouch End Hill.

Crouch Hill Road...

..End.

Some of those words in all of that order,

or all of those words in some of that order,

or none of those words, but let's keep some kind of order here.

I'll tell you what, boss, let's get you up that way,

and then we can work out exactly where you want to be dropped.

Hey, don't I know...? Hey, don't I know you?

That's what I was going to ask. I got there first.

You look familiar. -What's your name? -A L Lloyd.

Oh, right. I was thinking of someone else.

You're him, ain't you? I get that a lot.

You're thinking of someone else too.

Maybe the same someone else.

Or maybe someone else.

♪ It ain't that I'm questioning you to take part in any kind of quiz

♪ It's just that I haven't got no watch,

♪ And you keep asking me what time it is. ♪

This is Crouch End.

Wasn't your mate any more specific?

Being specific isn't his strongest suit.

Well, what about here? Here's better than nowhere.

And I should know - I've been nowhere.

Look, here or not? "Here or not?"

Here - WHY not?

Well, you're definitely him. That's good to know.

♪ Well, I wake up in the morning, there's frogs inside my socks

♪ Your mama, she's a-hidin inside the icebox

♪ Your daddy walks in wearing a Napoleon Bonaparte mask

♪ Then you ask why I don't live here

♪ Honey, do you have to ask?

♪ Well, I go to pet your monkey, I get a face full of claws

♪ I ask who's in the fireplace, and you tell me Santa Claus

♪ The milkman comes in, he's wearing a derby hat

♪ And you ask why I don't live here

♪ Honey, how come you have to ask me that? ♪

Hi. Hi, can I help you?

I'm hoping you can.

I'm sorry, I'm not interested in whatever it is you're selling.

What are you selling? Oh, I'm not sure I can remember.

-Sorry? -Whatever it is I'm selling, I think I sold it a long time ago.

OK, thank you.

DOORBELL RINGS

What? Reviewing the situation,

I think I could have been clearer in my intention.

I'm really not interested in... I'm looking for Dave.

Oh, he's just popped out. You should have said you were after Dave.

Well, excuse me, ma'am, but I believe I just did.

Right. And you're...?

Yes, I am.

I'm Bob.

You are...? Yes, I am.

I'm Ange.

It's very nice to make your -acquaintance, Ange. -Likewise, Bob.

He shouldn't be long. Do you want to come in and wait in the front room?

I don't want to be any trouble. Well, don't be any trouble, then.

I won't be any trouble.

Oh, and, er, shoes off.

Make yourself at home. Make myself a what?

Make yourself at home.

Well, that's very kind.

I would, but at home, I like to weld.

Weld? Weld.

Ornate iron gates out of junk metal.

Mainly. Right.

But, here, I guess I'll just...

..catch up with some TV. Yeah, you do that.

Why, thank you. I will.

Take a seat.

-Cup of tea? -Only if it's no trouble. It's no trouble. I'll do a pot.

Thank you, Ange. Welcome, Bob.

Where's the remote control for the -TV? -Oh, Dave will have hidden it.

He's always hiding it. You know what he's like.

Typical Dave.

STATIC

♪ Yeah, my gal is red hot, your gal ain't doodly-squat

♪ Well, she ain't got no money, but man, she's a-really got a lot

♪ Well, I got a gal, six feet four... ♪

All right, Bob?

Dave really knows how to hide a remote control.

I couldn't turn the TV on, so I thought I'd play some records.

Man, this is a great collection.

Yeah. I'm not sure he'd be happy with you playing them.

Nah, that's fine.

When he invited me over, he said he had some great music to play me.

Although he didn't tell me he had an original Billy Lee Riley.

This record teas out your backbone and kind of makes you

feel grateful that it did, all at the same time.

Don't you think?

It is a great record, yeah, although I prefer No Name Girl.

♪ Well, she walks all night, talks all day, she's the kinda... ♪

♪ The girl I love ain't got no name

♪ But I love her just the same

♪ She's a little peculiar, but it ain't no sin

♪ She never knows where she's going...

♪ But she knows where she's been. ♪

Oh, man, he was the real deal.

Your tea's... I'm still a bit nervy about you touching Dave's records.

Please be careful with them. You know what he's like.

Oh, I thought I did, but judging by these,

he's a cooler cat than I'd imagined.

Judas.

FRONT DOOR OPENS, CLOSES

That you? Eh?

Who else is it going to be?

Have you bought another pair of shoes?

Bob's here.

Who? Your mate.

Who? Your mate, Bob.

The welder.

I haven't got a welder mate called Bob.

Well, you have, cos he's in the front room.

Definitely Bob? Definitely Bob.

Hey.

Where's Dave?

♪ Leave me alone with you. ♪

I'm Dave.

Hi, Dave.

It is rapidly becoming apparent to me that you may be a different Dave.

Different?

Well, I guess what I'm saying is that you're not the only Dave,

are you?

No, I'm not. I didn't think so.

Are you...

Bob? Some say I am, some say I'm not.

I prefer not to get involved.

-Right. -But if I am Bob, I'm not the only Bob.

Just like you.

B... That's...

..you though, right?

That guy?

I was just looking at that guy. You know I used to know that guy?

Great guy. Folk singer.

Tea?

Er... Yes, please.

Where you been?

Me? When? Just now.

Ange said you'd "popped out".

-I was on a call. -I had a calling -once. -It was a false alarm.

Mine too. Yeah, I'm a plumber.

I'm a song and dance man. Nice to meet you.

I know who you are! You do?

I wouldn't be so sure.

But you are him, though, aren't you?

Him? Yes, but then, so are you, sugar.

But... Eh? Sorry, let me say that again.

Yes, but then, so are you.

Sugar?

Er, two, please.

Take a seat.

Make yourself at home. Oh, ta, yeah.

I've got so many questions I want to -ask you. -I don't think you have.

I definitely have!

No, you don't want to speak to me, you want to speak to him,

and he didn't want to be spoken to. That's why I'm here.

There are no questions you can ask that I can give answers to.

There are no questions you can ask that I haven't been asked before.

And I don't think I ever really answered a single one.

People don't really want to ask me questions,

they just want to be friends with him.

And I can see why - he seems pretty cool, most of the time.

But he's not here. I'm here,

in your front room, drinking your tea, so hey...

..we're already friends.

Yep. Good point.

Hey, Dave, I got an idea. What's that?

How would you feel if I asked the questions?

If you like. Don't think I can tell you anything you'd want to know.

Oh, you'd be surprised.

Let's try, shall we?

-OK.Are you ready? -Yep.

Dave...

..where'd you hide the remote control?

What? For the TV.

Ange said you'd hidden it. I couldn't find it anywhere.

Well, you promise you won't tell her?

Hey, I'm the one asking the questions, remember?

Oh, yeah, sorry. Erm...

It's in the plantpot.

And there it is.

That is a great hiding place.

I'm going to remember that for when I get home.

FOOTBALL COMMENTARY ON TV

BLOCKBUSTERS THEME ON TV

Right, what C is the name of the diminutive,

brash waitress in the Cheers bar?

-Carla.Yes, Lenora. -Carla. It's Carla, you're right. Well done.

Oh, I see, so you'll answer HIS questions.

He's called Bob, right?

-Bob Holness. -It would be remiss of me not to answer another Bob.

Besides, I'm a big fan of Rhea Perlman, who plays Carla.

Did you know she's married to Danny DeVito?

And a bit of incidental information - did you know that

Rhea Perlman, who plays Carla, is married to Danny "DeVita"?

Great Bobs think alike.

Yeah. That Bob called him Danny "DeVita".

He did. You win.

What, are you off, Bob? Nope.

Too much tea.

Oh, right, er, upstairs, first on the left.

Thanking you kindly.

Two blues so far. Mark hasn't made a move yet.

He's saving himself a little...

..making a little pattern in the middle, if you can.

What A, everybody, is a state of the...?

Dave.

Are you and your mate going to be long?

Erm... I've honestly no idea.

It's just we did say we were going to nip to Wickes before it shuts.

Right, yeah. Erm...

Would you mind if we did that tomorrow?

Your sister's coming over tomorrow, -dummy. -Right, yeah. Erm...

It's just that he's, erm...

Yeah?

He's, erm... He's what, Dave?

Never mind. No, go on.

It's just that he's come quite a long way to visit.

Well, I guessed you hadn't seen him for a while,

cos you couldn't even remember who he was when you got in.

I wasn't really expecting him.

All right, fair enough. You boys catch up.

But we'll definitely go to Wickes -on Saturday. Deal? -Deal, yeah.

Any more tea, Bob?

As good as your tea is, Ange, I think I had my fill.

Well, let me know if you change your -mind.I will. -I can do another pot.

OK. Thank you.

So, how long you and Ange been married?

No, we're not married. -You're not? -No.

Why not, Dave?

Never got round to it.

Well, how well do you know her, Dave?

Pretty well. OK.

What's her favourite Billy Lee Riley record?

Easy - No Name Girl.

That's a great record. Great record.

I don't know much, but I know a good woman when I see one, Dave.

You should make an honest woman of the no name girl.

I'll keep that in mind. You do that.

Right, Bob, you keep asking all the questions,

so I think it's only fair I should get one back.

-We struck a deal, Dave. -I know, but you have drunk us out of tea.

It's good tea.

Ange knows how to make a brew. She sure does. You're a lucky man.

I am.

OK, before I go, you can have one question, on account of Ange's tea.

But it better be good.

-It is. -And I can't have been asked it before.

No, you haven't.

OK, Dave.

Hit me.

Bob...

..what the hell are you doing in my living room?

That's a good question. Thank you.

I was invited over to visit by my friend, Dave.

He's a Eurythmic, you know?

Dave Stewart? Yeah, Dave Stewart.

He lives here. Well, not HERE, as it turns out,

but you know that.

Yeah, I can confirm that Dave Stewart doesn't live in my house.

So Dave invites me to drop in. He lives somewhere round these parts.

As it turns out, I got the wrong parts. I asked for Dave,

and Ange said he'd "popped out".

So, here I was, waiting for Dave.

And then I got home. Then you got home.

I can help you track down Dave Stewart, if you like.

There's no need. I came to see Dave,

and Dave I saw.

Just like you, he's not the only Dave.

No, he isn't.

Does that answer your question?

It does. Thank you. Right.

I'm going to put an egg in my shoe...

..and beat it. Oh, I get you. Yeah.

Erm, Bob... Yeah?

Would you, er, sign this for me before you go?

You already had your question, Dave.

Yeah, I know... I could sign it, but...

I don't think he'd be too happy about it.

I don't think he'd mind. He was quite a serious young buck.

But, hey, he was so much older then.

You got me there.

It was great to meet you.

Yeah, you too, Dave.

And I got a good feeling we're going -to meet again. -On the avenue.

You bet.

You off, Bob? Yes, I am.

Farewell, Angelina. Thank you for your hospitality.

I hope I wasn't any trouble. You weren't any trouble.

Good. Because I know you don't -want any trouble. -No, I don't.

Take care, Dave. And you, Bob.

I always do.

See you soon, Bob. Yes, Ange, I hope so.

Oh, Ange... Yes, love?

He hides the remote in the plantpot.

Oh, he seems like a nice man.

Bit odd. But nice.

How do you know him again?

Ange, er...

There's something I've been meaning to ask you.

ANGE SHRIEKS

Oh, at last!

MUSIC: Like A Rolling Stone, by Bob Dylan

Where to, man? Back to Malibu, I guess.

Airport, please.

Subtitles by Ericsson