Original subtitles

NETFLIX PRESENTS

Elisa, are you okay?

It's the second time I've thrown up.

You need to eat something, sweetheart.

The surgery is scheduled for tomorrow at two.

The doctor says you have to be in good shape.

It's tomorrow?

Why? Do you wanna wait?

No.

You're on a trial at work, Elisa.

You can't afford to have a baby.

Yes, I know.

It's the best thing to do.

Come on. We'll get you a new wardrobe. How about that?

Huh?

Elisa?

Sound good?

Mm-hmm.

I love you, sweetie.

Very, very much.

Love you too, Mama.

I'll see you tonight.

A big kiss.

HI ELISA, IT'S TIME TO JOIN YOUR FRIENDS

One two, three. Action.

Hi to all of the friends of Fabrizio, and welcome to my newest video.

I've got a small riddle for you guys.

Where are we going on our trip if I sing this song to you?

Exactly. Off to my hometown Calabria.

And on the adventure, joining us, we have...

Just tell us your name and your destination.

Don't worry. I'll cut this part out.

Is your channel really called "Friends of Fabrizio"?

- Yeah, my little sister chose it. - Ah.

Hi, um, I'm Sofia, and I'm going to attend a wedding...

Hi. My name is Mark, and we're going to the, uh, "marriaggio."

- "Matrimonio." - Is it your wedding?

- No. - No. Not yet.

Guys, can you try not to overlap?

Otherwise, it will be impossible to edit the video later. You know?

Uh, I'm Riccardo, a doctor.

Can you tell us more about you? For instance, where are you going?

I'm... I'm gonna see my family. That's enough. Just... just stop.

I'm sorry, but, you know, you have a great look.

You look awesome on camera. You could totally be an actor.

- Hi. - Ciao. Hi.

Don't worry.

It's for his Instagram or something like that.

- It's a travel blog. - Oh, a travel blog.

What am I supposed to do?

Okay, you can state your name and where you're going.

Um, I'm Elisa, and I'm going to spend time with my parents.

- Hi, Elisa. - Hi.

Guys, could you actually tell us a bit more about yourselves?

I need the viewers to really grow to like you.

No? Okay. Can you at least give a little wave with your hand?

Let's get going!

Our friends have to warm up. The time is 4:37, and we're just about...

- Ten minutes late. - True. As the doctor said, we are late.

So, goodbye to you, dear friends of Fabrizio,

and always remember, "We'll be friends till the end of time."

And cut. That's a wrap.

- Who was the god of time? - Zeus.

No, it's time. It's Chronos.

Which male animal has to live inside the female in order to mate?

I know it. Sea devil.

God, that turns me on.

Oh God.

- Are you thirsty? - Yeah.

Look in the fridge.

Hell yes, man. Whoo!

It's "beer o'clock."

Hey, you just got yourself five stars.

- Another word for grains? - Wheat.

What does the clown from It feed upon? Children.

Fear.

What did you say?

Children are just a means to an end. Pennywise feeds on their fear.

Elisa. This is good.

- No, I'm fine. Thank you. - Come on. You only live once.

Really, I'm fine.

You're gonna be old the rest of your life. So, enjoy now.

Mark, come on.

Just take a sip. Be part of the tribe.

Cheers.

The apostle who betrayed Jesus?

I had a friend that said around here

there is the most beautiful mile of Italy.

- You told me about that guy. - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

- "Drangheta." - 'Ndrangheta.

MOTHER AND DAUGHTER DISAPPEAR IN THE SHADOW OF 'NDRANGHETA

- "Endranguetta." - 'Ndràngheta.

- 'Ndrangheta. - 'Ndrangheta.

'Ndrangheta!

- Yes! - Yeah!

Like this. Yes!

What's it about?

Um, this is the Mafia of queste zone.

The Mafia over here.

- Do you have more than one? - Yes.

Oh, like pasta!

- Trenette, tagliatelle. - Fusilli.

I like fusilli.

Oh. Oh shit. Look at this.

MAYOR AGAINST MAFIA

Who's her stylist?

- Looks like a period. - Mark, please.

Okay. Sorry. She looks like a lasagna.

No, that's the mayor. She's got balls.

She took half of the people off the streets.

Elisa, doesn't she look like a lasagna?

Are you okay?

Hmm.

Something's up with her.

Yeah, it's called car sickness.

Hmm. Not sure if it's the car sickness.

Why aren't you answering?

Please pick up.

If we talk, we can find a solution that works for us and our girl.

I had a shitty day. Sorry. It won't happen again.

Be reasonable.

We're adults. Okay?

- Bye. - Hey.

What the fuck are you doing? You can't. Stop! You can't!

- Baby, get outta here. - You can't!

Like this, we'll get to the wedding,

and they'll be grandparents.

- Mark. - Look.

This camper is my mother's, okay? She never lets anyone drive it.

If something happens, she'll smash my head.

- What are you doing? - Taking over.

- You're drunk. - I drive better when I'm drinking.

What a dickhead.

You can take the wheel if you don't feel safe. It's no problem.

I don't have my driver's license with me.

Problem solved, then.

No. My ass "problem solved." Problem not solved! Is that clear?

Are you from here?

- You live here? - Yes, yes.

But, um, I live in Rome for school. Studying film. I'm in film school.

So, go make movies.

Enough of this Instagram shit.

Um, it's complicato in Italy.

Are you okay? How... how did this happen?

Huh?

- Yeah. Uh, what happened? - Ah.

An asshole once grabbed me from the back of my head

and smashed it into the wall, like, three times.

Ah shit.

Me too. I was, uh... I was, uh...

- Assholes. - Stronzo.

In school.

But then I hurt someone.

When you're a teenager, you think violence is cool.

Like in some bad movie.

Hey.

To good movies.

- Yeah. - Yeah. Cheers.

Mark!

Fuck!

- Fuck! - Watch the table and don't trip.

- No! - Go to the sofa. Put him down.

Rotate. Okay.

Yeah.

Stop, stop!

- We need to splint his leg. - I've got a tent in my luggage.

- Can the sticks work for that? - I think so.

- Sticks, frames, anything like that. - Okay.

Try not to move. You'll make things worse.

Slow, slow, slow!

This is gonna hurt, okay?

Oh, fuck!

I... I'm back. Okay.

- Hold the sticks. Like that. - Yes, yes, yes.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - I'm here. I'm here.

- I'm sorry. - It's good. It's good. Okay?

- Almost done. - Almost done.

Done. Elisa, call 118.

It's okay. It's okay.

It's gonna be good. You're gonna be good.

It doesn't work.

There's no signal.

Fabrizio.

Fabrizio! Fuck! Call 118!

- I tried. It's the same thing. - How can there be no signal?

Do you wanna try?

Sure, I'll try. I'll try.

Nothing.

Mine doesn't work either.

We need some help. Try and stop someone on the road.

There is no road.

- Nobody saw anything? - I passed out.

So did I.

- Well, how did we get here? - Ask Mark.

What? You think Mark took the camper out here?

Maybe. Why don't you ask him?

Guys.

Is anyone at home?

We had a car accident.

Hello?

No one is in. Let's go.

- Let's break in. - What if the owner returns?

We're not breaking in. Let's go to the camper.

It was a goat. It was something like that.

It just appeared in the middle of the road.

I tried to steer away from it,

but Fabrizio took the wheel from me, so I couldn't...

It's my fault now.

Hey, man. If you hadn't taken the wheel, we would've never driven off the road.

He was falling asleep. That's why he didn't see it.

If I hadn't steered, we would've hit it.

- What did you say? - That you were asleep at the wheel.

What? Bullshit!

Okay, maybe I was asleep for, like, a split second,

but we... we would've never hit the tree if Chiara Ferragni didn't panic.

- Okay, stop this. - Ridiculous. He's a shithead.

Mark, the tree we crashed into, how far was it from the road?

I don't know.

Like, a few meters.

There is no road in sight.

We're in the middle of the woods.

That's impossible.

Impossible?

Look at those trees.

Thousands of trees, and we passed straight through them.

Or maybe we've just fallen from the sky to this clearing.

That's what I call impossible.

- Where you going, Doctor? - Looking for the road.

- I'm coming with you. - No need.

Don't go that way.

- It all looks the same. - No, look at the sun.

We have to go south.

That is south.

Were you a Boy Scout or something?

No, but I grew up in a place like this.

Okay, fine. Go back to the others.

MOM I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE

I'M SCARED WE NEED HELP

Are you okay?

Mm.

Look, he is such a dork.

Have you dated for a long time?

Ever since I moved to America.

Well, he's not American either.

He had just arrived from Bristol.

Where are you from?

Odessa.

But I lived here and there. Also in Italy.

So I'm like a hummingbird. Is that what it's called? Colibrì?

So what do you do?

I'm an intern at a consulting firm. A Bocconi graduate.

Wow!

And you say it like that?

I'm pretty much stuck at a computer all day.

I have a company. We make 3D-printed jewelry.

Your own company?

- Mm-hmm. - You're so young though.

It's only a start-up.

Look.

Pretty.

Do you think it's his fault?

No.

He'll be fine. You'll see.

Doctor, you have a daughter?

Sorry, I overheard your call before.

What's her name?

Alma.

Noble. Alma.

It's nice. What does it mean?

It means you should mind your own fucking business.

Focus. We should've found the road already.

One time, I saw this American movie, right,

about these people who end up in a sort of Limbo,

and they are not aware of it.

So they are, like, in a trap, you know?

And they are doomed to repeat the same things.

For example, they wake up, and it's always the same day.

Or they go downstairs, and it's always the same floor, you know?

Sofia.

What the fuck?

Is anyone there?

What is that?

Something satanic?

THE THREE KNIGHTS OF HONOR

More or less.

What do you mean by that?

It means we need to leave now.

Look at the heads. The blood's fresh.

The first has no eyes.

But even in the dark, he'll find you.

The second has no ears, but he will surely hear you.

The third has no mouth to speak, but if you see him, don't say a word.

A winged horse by his side is the song of death.

It's the legend of Osso, Mastrosso, and Carcagnosso.

My grandma always told me their story when I was little.

They are three brothers who came from another world.

A long, long time ago...

people were dying of starvation.

They promised to save them,

but with the condition that they receive a sacrifice in return.

So the villagers chose the victim,

and they prepared the ritual.

To start, they cut out her tongue...

then ears...

and eyes.

With her blood, they rid the village of hunger.

But everything comes at a price.

So, since then, the starving people

became...

like a flock.

Their flock.

Your grandmother told you some weird stories.

Okay. Enough with this bullshit.

The heads in the forest. Are you sure there were five?

Five.

Someone's trying to freak us out.

Let's sleep in the camper, and we'll leave tomorrow.

And Mark?

We can't move him in his condition.

Let's find help, and we'll come back for him.

Of course.

Sofia.

Nothing. Nada.

How's my baby?

I put you all in deep shit.

Rest now. Tomorrow will be a big day.

Fifì.

What are you doing with a loser like me?

What's so funny?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

We crash into a tree a few feet from the road,

and we wake up in front of the house of Sam Raimi.

There are severed animal heads,

pictures of crazy farmers...

We are isolated.

The phones don't work.

Why hasn't anyone said it yet?

This is the setup for a classic horror movie.

Go to sleep, man.

- Where you going? - Gotta drain the lizard.

That guy desperately needs a girlfriend.

MOM

Ta-da!

What about this? Show it to Mom. Show Mom how nice it is.

A kiss?

You're so beautiful! Give me a kiss. Give Daddy a kiss.

Mom, look. She's giving Daddy a kiss.

What is it?

Wait, where you going?

Stay with Mark.

Stay here.

Be careful.

Come out. Someone's in the woods. We need to get outta here.

What the fuck?

- What happened? Hey. - Come.

- Fabri, what's going on? - Quick! Go up!

- What the fuck is going on? - Go up! Up, up!

What is it?

They cut out her tongue.

What did they do to you?

Shh.

Hey, I don't think you should get any closer to her.

Yeah, he's right. Let's go.

Are you guys gonna help?

- No. We need to leave. - There's a little girl. Shh.

- It's an awful idea. - Leave her!

Sofia! Sofia, fuck, leave her alone! Move away!

Easy. I'll help you now.

Switch off the torch.

Mark. Mark!

- Shut up! Shh! - Fuck off, man! Mark! Mark!

- Shut up! - Please, they are carrying a rifle.

Close the hatch.

Shut up. Shut up. Be quiet.

What do you want? What do you want?

What are you doing?

No, no, no...

No, no...

Please don't! Please don't! What are you doing?

No, please. No, no, no!

No, no, no! What are you doing?

Oh my God. What do you want? What do you want?

No, no! No!

We have to go. Hurry up.

- Wait. - Wait for what?

We can't leave her here.

Get away. Get away.

Come on.

She's your responsibility. Let's go. Now.

Elisa.

We're not the first people.

- What are you doing? - I might find something to eat.

Or something like this.

What are you doing there? Why the fuck are you just standing there?

I'm with a bunch of idiots.

Two little girls. A loser.

You're a hopeless case.

What did you say? What did you say?

A hopeless case?

Of course you're saying it. We have to believe it.

- 'Cause, of course, you're the expert. - Just say it.

Get it out.

Sure, I'll say it. I'll say it. I have no problem saying it.

- If we're stuck, it's because of Mark. - How can you say that?

- Have some respect, Doctor. - Respect?

Respect for what now? Because he's dead now?

What the fuck you think we'll all be tonight?

He's dead because you left him there to die.

You abandoned him and prevented me from helping him.

Who the fuck do you think we are, huh? The fucking Ninja Turtles? Come on!

They were just farmers.

Sick people.

I refuse to die because an idiot drove drunk and got us into this mess!

- Have I made that clear enough? - Stop it! It was an accident.

I'm a doctor.

I cure sick people.

I don't rescue them.

Yeah, right.

Can I ask you something, Riccardo?

What doctor uses carpooling?

As far as I know, doctors travel by plane, train, car rental.

Exactly what kind of doctor are you?

And what the fuck has that got to do with any of this shit?

- Let's stop fighting. - Shut up!

You didn't exactly do much to save him.

Why didn't you bite my hand?

Huh?

Why didn't you kick me in the balls?

Huh.

You just didn't fight hard enough to save the love of your life.

You could've fought harder than you did.

Can I see that?

Is this yours?

Chiara.

What a pretty name.

Do you know a way out of this forest?

THIS IS NOT A FOREST

What do you mean it's not a forest?

We need to go now.

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

Where's the camper?

They took the fucking camper!

I was certain we were walking in the right direction. Walking south.

- I don't understand how we're here. - Yeah? You're certain?

You're certain?

So how the fuck is it possible that we walked in a circle?

- I don't know! - You don't?

- We were walking south! - You don't know?

I want to save myself as much as you do. I don't understand why.

We were walking south.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck.

Look, it's okay.

Maybe I'm in a... a coma.

Maybe this is a nightmare.

And you don't exist.

Doctor, believe me. Right now, I'd rather not exist.

Well, at least they forgot this one.

Yesterday, they came after dark.

I don't really want to go back inside, but out here is worse.

He's right.

And if they return?

If they come back, we'll burn it down. These woods and that fucking house.

No, thanks. I gotta be on watch.

Disciplinary probation.

I made...

a mistake...

and my patient died.

My job was my whole life.

I lost all of it.

Then, things got even worse.

I went home to my wife.

I said something wrong at the wrong time, and I...

Now she doesn't even allow me to see my daughter.

Rightly so.

I was going to live with my mother.

She still treats me like a teen. She said, "Come home."

"Just come home."

That's the kind of doctor I am.

Once, I was camping,

and there was this guy from a region up north

who says, "You are a Southerner. You are in the Mafia."

So I told him,

"No, look. Not all Southerners are gangsters."

But he was insistent.

He said, "No, no. You are a Southerner. You are in the Mafia."

I tried to reason with him

by telling him that there are Southerners who don't actually eat pizza

and some Southerners who are not in the Mafia.

The day after, he's back telling me,

"No, you are a Southerner. You are in the Mafia."

So, I went and had him killed.

One day, I told my parents I wanted to quit uni.

I wanted to do something else.

Mom put me in the car and drove me to a seaside resort.

We stayed at a gorgeous mansion with a pool.

She said,

"Look at it."

She insisted, "Look at it better."

"This would've been ours if we hadn't paid for your school costs."

Two days later, I was back in class.

I do it for Mark.

You do it for your baby.

So you knew?

Sweetie, we all figured it out.

He was doomed anyway, even before ending up here.

Oh yeah?

It's for the best.

Right?

How would I know?

Here. Have it.

It's a lie that it's pretty.

But it's the first one.

When I finished it, I knew I could succeed on my own.

Yeah.

Hey. Don't cry.

Don't look.

Please don't look.

We didn't even realize. It doesn't make sense.

Shh.

I'm so sorry.

Is it okay if I hug you?

We didn't wake up the whole time.

What was it?

What are you saying?

You never drank.

Why didn't you ever drink?

Are you crazy?

Please, Elisa, I can't take this.

It's just you and me.

I'm so scared, Elisa.

I'm so scared.

Fabrizio, can you hear me?

Take her under the deer.

If you can hear us, take the girl under the deer.

Who are you?

I'm Fabrizio. It's me.

Who's talking?

- Nobody. - Stay back!

I'm not getting anything useful.

- Hey. - Fabrizio, can you hear me?

- It's me, Fabrizio. - Fabrizio.

The misfit. The loser. You guys called me names behind my back.

Come on. Give it to me.

Give it to me.

I told you to give it back! What the hell?

Hello?

No.

No.

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No! No!

No, you fucking whore!

You're such a fucking slut! Total fucking slut!

You hear me? You've ruined it all!

You completely ruined it all! You ruined it all!

Fucking bitch!

Take her.

Help! Help me!

Dad, tell me something.

When Grandpa was heartbroken, he kept saying,

"There's no respect anymore!" Dad, what's respect?

♪ My son, respect is the virtue ♪

♪ That every Calabrian man Has in his heart ♪

♪ This feeling doesn't exist anymore ♪

♪ Respect is over, and so is honor ♪

♪ When your granddad Talked about his past ♪

♪ And his youth to his children ♪

♪ He ended up with a broken heart ♪

♪ Remembering everything That isn't here anymore ♪

Help me.

Please.

Dad.

Who were the three knights that Grandpa always talked about?

♪ The three wise knights he mentioned ♪

♪ Were three saints of the holy circles ♪

♪ They brought us the honorable laws ♪

♪ And we are all devoted to them ♪

A drink to the Three Knights of Honor.

To the great patron saints.

Osso, Mastrosso, and Carcagnosso. Cheers.

And now, enjoy your meal.

Stop it!

Do you see?

They're all content.

Because I look after them.

I am everybody's mother.

Is it true I'm everybody's mother?

They're not mean.

They're mocking you, yeah?

But they know you're the most precious out of everyone.

If you don't die, how can I take care of everyone here?

Huh?

You're so beautiful.

Such a pretty girl.

I'm sorry.

But the Mafia really isn't what it used to be.

We must all learn to adapt.

THREE KNIGHTS CAMPING

Help me.

Eat, everyone, or your food will be cold.

Help!

Help!

Help me!

Help!

Help me!

Help me!

Give us a smile, Mama.

You filmed everything.

There.

I have to be honest. Even if you occasionally screw things up,

the moment you figure it all out is, like...

Fuck, it's a real turn-on.

Where is Chiara?

What did you do to her?

No. No spoilers.

Is this what you do?

Record videos of people being tortured and killed?

They're horror movies.

What the fuck?

So I end up dying in a loser's fake movie.

And the villains are actually called Osso,

Mastrosso, and Ca...

Caranosso!

Carcagnosso. It's not complicated.

They are the three founding fathers of the Mafia,

and I turned them into the new Freddy, Jason, and Leatherface

'cause I'm a genius.

If we were in the States, they would already sign me for a sequel.

Your movie totally sucks.

It's just a carbon copy of other films.

People like you always criticize.

Then in Italy, all you get are crappy comedies and shitty YouTube videos.

In Italy, no one wants to be scared.

You go to the movies and are like, "Ew, that's so gross! No."

"Na, na, na, na, naa!"

Except, then, you turn on the TV, and there's nothing but death.

24/7. Dead people.

Because you enjoy it.

The student who massacres her flatmate, that's... that's what you like.

The mother who choked her son.

Wonderful.

The husband stabbing his wife. That's... that's worth more than cocaine.

And so you're asking me, why, exactly, am I doing all of this?

It's what you asked for.

These are the most requested forms of content.

It's the future.

Not mine.

Okay. We'll see.

Chiara?

Chiara?

Fucking bitch!

What a fucking bitch!

I swear to God. I swear to God. If I could, I'd kill her twice.

If I could kill that cocktease twice, I would!

- But she hoodwinked you. - That scrawny girl!

Wait. I have an idea.

- You do? - Yes.

So, basically, we can insert that shot where everyone's in their masks.

Yeah? And we stay a little longer on the sacrifice of those two assholes.

Okay? Then cut.

And there she is, laying in the house.

And I hold her tight in my arms, and I say my beautiful line,

the one that goes like,

"Elisa. Elisa, I am so scared."

"I'm so scared. Elisa, I'm so scared."

It doesn't work.

How do you knock her out again? If you hit her one more time, she'll die.

- With the beer. - It doesn't work.

You too. I mean, all you can say is, "It doesn't work!"

Listen. Mom was clear about that. The client wants her to be aware.

Fuck Mom too! Fuck Mom too!

- Lower your voice. - No! The fuck I lower my voice!

- I'm not lowering my voice! - Lower your voice!

Look at the fucking mess I had to go through

to get the camper over here because the English guy wanted to drive!

You made this mess. You caused the accident.

- And Elisa! - I don't give a damn!

The only thing she figured out was the beer!

Do you think I care? Did I complain?

I was full of scratches, covered in sweat, and I couldn't speak.

- You're completely incompetent! - ...I cut your tongue out!

I'm going to tell Mom,

and she's going to kick your ass because you can't do anything.

You really don't understand anything!

- I'm the artist in this family! - Lower your voice!

Shut up, asshole!

You're so incompetent.

Stupid dwarf.

Two days with this thing in my mouth.

- Next time, I want to be the villain. - Mom doesn't know shit about horror.

Listen, she's the boss.

If she wants her to be aware when she dies, she'll be aware.

She doesn't understand that this thing doesn't make any sense.

It's like when Leonardo DiCaprio freezes.

Why the fuck doesn't he climb on top of the door?

Huh?

Actually, there was room for him too.

Ready to shoot in 15. Get the girl into the house.

There. Huh?

There. And now? What do I do now? No? Tell me what to do.

I don't know.

First of all, stop drinking, or you'll have to pee on set.

I know by experience.

Crap.

The girl escaped!

The girl escaped!

Okay.

Okay, so you kill me, huh? And then?

What the fuck are you going to do?

They'll be in the house waiting for you.

They'll cut you up, I swear, and they'll feed you to the pigs.

You understand? They are gonna feed you to the pigs.

Come on.

Put down the rifle.

Huh?

Let's find a solution, something.

If you want to survive, you need me.

- You can't make it on your own. - You fucking talk too much.

Please, don't do this.

I'm so scared.

I'm so scared.

Shh.

Don't worry. It's only a movie.

You bitch.

Fucking bitch.

You deserve to die on...

There you have your ending.

MILITARY AREA - NO TRESPASSING ARMED SURVEILLANCE

MOM THE SURGERY IS IN A FEW HOURS

WHY IS YOUR MOBILE OFF?

IF IT'S A PRANK, YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH IT

COMMENTS ON THE MOVIE?

I LASTED 2 MINUTES, BORING

I LIKED IT

ELISA SHOULD'VE CROAKED

RIPPED OFF OTHER MOVIES

THE LEGEND IS REAL!

OSSO, MASTROSSO, AND CARCAGNOSSO?

YES, GOOGLE IT.

US ITALIANS ARE NOT GOOD AT MAKING HORROR MOVIES.

MORE BLOOD OR NO MEMBERSHIP

AT LEAST ARE THEY UNDERSTANDABLE?

THE DIRECTOR IS ITALIAN, SHOW SUPPORT.

NO KITTY

SUPERLIKE FOR BLONDIE'S ASS

RIGHT. I'LL WATCH IT NOW.

LET ME KNOW

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BLOODFLIX PRESENTS

- Hi, Elisa. - Hi.

Guys, could you actually tell us a bit more about yourselves?

I need the viewers to really grow to like you.

No?

Okay. Can you at least give a little wave with your hand?

Fucking bitch.

You deserve to die on...

Dad, it's ready. Coming?

I'll be right there, sweetheart.