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[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[MOBILE VIBRATES]
There you go, sunshine.
I'm all ears.
Okay, first, I need to know that me and my brother won't get in any trouble.
He's a bit of a dickhead but he's my dickhead, know what I mean?
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hey, Thompson.
Can I get one of those immunity forms please?
-Excuse me, sir? -The code 274 document.
-Oh, an immunity form? -That's the badger.
So. Rest assured, you and your brother will receive
full immunity if you provide me with information
that leads to the real criminals.
Okay. Cool, because we had no idea what the hell she was going to do, bro.
-She? -Yeah, yeah, yeah this girl, man,
and her mental mum. But they're not psychos.
-They just wanted revenge. -Revenge you think?
That's what they said. So, how old is this girl exactly?
I ain't saying another word till I get my immunity, innit.
Isn't it.
[DOOR OPENS]
There you are. Come on. Pack your stuff.
I want to get back to the cabin before dark.
I thought we agreed about this?
I know. I just thought maybe if I could have one day...
You know what annoys me? Is if we'd killed Jimmy together,
-none of this would have happened. -Mum, it was my revenge.
I could do whatever I wanted with it!
Yes, I know, I just think it might have been nice.
We could have made a trip out of it.
Who's Jo?
When he was dying. Jimmy said, "Tell Jo."
Mum?
I didn't know whether you wanted toast or cereal, so, I made both.
Let's give it up for the man who knows how to work a toaster.
Looks nice, thanks, Nicky.
There's also a selection of spreads. Whatever tickles your pickle.
This is exactly what I'm talking about, Kim! Toast that comes out of a machine.
A single portion of jam wrapped in so much plastic, it could kill a small whale.
Oh, and this.
Save water, drink Prosecco. What the fuck does this even mean?
Back at home, everything means something.
What were you hoping to achieve with all of this?
This, Mum! My list!
All the things you've never let me do. Killing Jimmy was only one thing on it.
I'm not sure I would have done that if it wasn't for the whole...
Again. So sorry about that.
Okay, how about this?
You pick one thing. At random.
We go and do it and then we go home.
-Deal? -What, like anything?
Yeah. From your book. Go on!
[EXHALES]
-What is it? -I have to spend the day with Dad.
At the fair. Because that's my last happy memory of him.
Ugh, a whole day?
I thought you might have picked something a bit smaller.
How much pollution medicine have you got left?
-I'm sorry, can I just... -Okay, okay. Forget it. I...
[SCREAMING]
This is the best day ever!
And then, it was like...
arrow in the chest, like some kind of Katniss Everdeen shit.
It was actually quite impressive.
But Tina is quite like that.
But bro, I thought you said that this was a 274 doc? This says 374.
So, this Tina woman, she's got, like, a crazed look
about her which is at once both terrifying, yet oddly alluring?
Yes! But she only killed Ian because he was going to kill us.
-It was self-defence, really. -Sure.
Take anything from the house?
-Like what? -I dunno, valuables...
Money maybe?
Nope. No, no... money.
Give us a second.
Shouldn't I get, like, a copy of that or something?
So, apparently, Ian didn't kill Jimmy.
I did think at the time, actually, that his wife was telling the truth.
So, why didn't you say something before we killed her, then?
It looked like you had it under control.
I did have it under control actually...
I was just discombobulated,
what with your chat with your new best friend, Terri, before we went in.
Shit, we killed that hiker as well, didn't we?
-Oh, yeah. -[MOBILE VIBRATING]
-It's Terri. -Shit. Just, tell her
we made a mistake and we'll get it sorted.
What a penarse.
Terri.
Creep.
Just trying to give her something to remember this day by.
Please, I know exactly what you're up to.
-I'm trying to be a friend, actually. -Oh, my God, that's worse.
I'm not scared of you, you know?
Okay, I'm a bit scared of you.
You can tell her I lied about the pills if you want.
Shatter her perceptions of reality on the same day
she's remembering her dad, if you think that's a good idea.
Don't you think instead of lying to her, you should just let her live a little?
Or are you really just worried about being alone?
Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude.
I just think you might be surprised by how fine she'd be out here.
[KIM SCREAMING]
Kim!
-Ow, ow, ow. -You're bleeding.
Don't worry. This is from a knife fight a couple of days ago.
-TINA: What? -Oh, no, don't worry.
The guy who did it is dead
-anyway, so... -No, she's delirious,
-from losing all that blood. -Nothing to worry about.
-We need to get her out of here now. -Yeah, back home.
Lethal that ride. Look how fast it's going.
Your dad would be so proud of the woman you've become.
Independent, resilient. I mean, you're basically a badass.
-Which is super inspiring... -Do you remember when I ran
away from the cabin when I was 12 and you tracked me down
in the forest and shot me with a tranquiliser
because I was about to cross the border into Russia?
I'd heard rumours of an invasion. I couldn't take any risks.
-So, you weren't lying then? -No! Of course, not!
I was wrong, as it turned out, but, no, I wasn't lying.
Kim, there's something I need to tell you.
-What is it? -The thing is...
-Ow, Mum! -Sit still then.
I am sitting still. What is it, Nicky?
What? Oh, my God, that's your actual skin...
Are you hot? Is it hot? It's really hot.
Are you okay?
It's just really hot in here.
-Nicky? -Nothing happened. I'm, I'm just...
-There we go. All done. -Thanks.
-I'll just go and see what he wants. -Oh, yeah. I'll come with you.
We could do with some food for the journey home anyway.
Come on, you.
You okay?
There's just so much... stuff.
I've just never seen so much stuff...
I don't even understand half of it.
I mean, look...
Fish don't even have fingers! And this is the milk of a nut.
How do you milk a nut?
-Do you mind? -Oh, sorry.
How do you ever choose any one thing?
How do you make space for any of it?
-I know, it's depressing. -No, I mean, literally how?
My mum never told me about any of this stuff.
Yeah, about that...
What? What is it?
God, I've missed you.
Your mum lies to you about everything, okay?
There's no fish measles or killer pollution.
Okay, so, she bent the truth on a few things
but she's hardly gonna make up something as serious as that!
I mean why would she? To keep me trapped in my own home?
So we can grow old together, just the two of us in our own little bubble?
Away from everything and everyo...
Come on. Don't you think you're being a bit dramatic?
You said all those things, not me.
Then don't you think I'm being dramatic?
Sorry. Do I think you're being dramatic when you just agreed with...
Okay, it's fine. You're wrong. Can we just drop this?
First, let me show you something.
My pollution medicine...
โช Oh, as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive โช
โช I've got all my life to live and I've got all my love t give โช
โช And I'll survive I will survive โช
[BUTTONS CLICKING]
BROOKS: Oi.
Right. All you have to do is plant this on Tina and your job's done.
-Oh... What is it? -It's a tracker.
This is Men in Black, style. Guys, I love this shit. But...
Just! Please. Do your job. And don't tell another living soul, all right?
Otherwise, the 274 document goes in the bin. Capiche?
-You mean the 374? -That's what I said!
But why aren't we doing this in the office, guys?
It's a covert operation, yeah?
Yeah, it's big boy shit.
Now, do you understand the plan or not?
Yeah, yeah of course.
Soon as I've finished work, I'm on the case, believe.
When do you finish work?
-What time do you finish work? -Peace!
Whoops! All good, I've got it!
And she lied about all this shit for years
and I mean, years of my life which I have spent in a hut,
for what?
And don't even get me started, Dad, on that time
she made us spend two days in the Thinking Cave
just because I cheated on my weapons training homework.
I mean, talk about hypocritical.
Oh! Why won't you just fucking work!
If it makes you feel any better, no one really wins on these things.
It's basically just a trick.
My dad won.
We came here the day he died and he won me a penguin from this machine.
I thought this would be a good place to scatter his ashes.
But I'm just not sure if I can.
Immunity. Imunity. Imun...
-Hey babe, what are you... -What the hell is this?
Whoa... It's fine, it is nothing to worry about.
I am worried though, Jay, I come home to find
a bag of money on top of the wardrobe and an axe in the airing cupboard!
That is a... birthday present for my mum.
I thought we were getting her Nando's vouchers!
-Morning, handsome. -Well, hello there, Mrs Davidson,
Oh, I am loving the purple rinse today.
Specially for you, my love.
Stop it, you.
We'll talk about it later, babe.
It's just this thing Nicky's doing.
-It's all fine. -It doesn't look fine.
Look, I promise. I'll explain everything.
You heard the man, darling. Jog on.
We'll talk about this later.
-The usual then, Mrs D? -Yes, please, darling.
Ooh, that's a big un!
Here, Mrs D. You spell the word 'immunity' with two m's, right?
Yeah.
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
It's funny. The more time I spend in my dad's old hometown,
the more I realise I never actually knew him.
Like, what was his favourite biscuit?
Did he have a second favourite biscuit?
-Did he have a... -Are you about to say
third favourite biscuit?
Did he have a really great laugh or a really annoying one, you know?
What did he smell like?
I think all dad's smell a bit like gravy. And grass.
Tell you what, why don't we ask him?
Hi, Mr Noakes. Just wondering what your favourite biscuit is?
"Well, Nicky, I quite like a Jammy Dodger
"but I'm also quite partial to a chocolate Hobnob"
Sorry, was the voice too much?
What's a Jammy Dodger?
-I'll buy you some if you like. -Okay.
I guess what really counts is, you love him.
And he loves you.
Okay, Dad,
this is it, I'm saying goodbye.
I miss you.
I hope I've made you proud.
Oh, and I bet you had the most amazing laugh.
And I bet you smelled like gravy and grass.
What the fuck?
THOMPSON: I know you're angry Terri, we've found your dad's killer
and we think they've got the money. We just need a bit more time. Okay, bye.
-Doughnut? -You know I don't do carbs. Idiot.
Right. That was Terri on the phone.
-She says we've got two days to deliver. -Or what?
-What the fuck? -Sorry, I was trying to offer a visual.
Well, clean it up!
What did Terri actually say?
She said we've got two days to deliver or else.
"Or else"? She actually used the words "or else"?
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
That's the trouble with you millennials. No originality.
-[BEEPING] -Tracker's on the move.
Maybe it's a secret message from Dad.
Or no, maybe he made films of us when I was a little kid!
Maybe he...
So, this is cricket.
I'm sorry. How did you get in the house?
It was your dad's favourite sport.
No, seriously, though, did you have a spare key or...
Not now, Fucko.
We left, the night your dad died. We had to.
But when we stopped at a service station for food,
I saw this DVD on the shelf and...
and I broke down right there in the shop because, um...
Well, this particular match in this particular sport is called...
The Ashes.
And your dad loved it more than anything else.
I know it isn't perfect but it was the best I could do.
I'm really sorry.
The thing is, Mum. I have no idea what's true
and what's not any more. All you've done is lie to me.
And, some of it, I can understand but...
I have been speaking to a piece of plastic my whole life,
thinking it's my dad.
How do you expect me to forgive you for that?
[DOOR CLOSES]
Right, so, listen...
The thing is, I think I might have fucked up a little bit.
What have you done?
-Jay, what the fuck? -Who did you speak to?
-What was their name? -DI Brooks I think.
Oh. He's crooked. He's one of Jimmy's inside men.
-How do you know that? -He's one of the cops
who let Jimmy get away with your dad's murder.
And if he gets half a chance, he'll kill every single one of us.
And you've led him right to us.
-Good one, Jay. -Okay, then. So, let's go.
[BANGING ON DOOR]
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