Original subtitles

(woman) Ema Hesire, I know you're in there.

The wedding has been all arranged.

Oh, please, gods. Please get me out of this.

You turned down the jeweller, the grain merchant.

You turned down the Pharaoh's food taster.

There's only one man left who'll have you. You are going to marry Hazzi-ra.

So what does he do?

He's a fuel merchant.

- Mother. - All right, so he sells camel dung.

- Forget it. - You forget it!

Mother, I don't want to settle down. I want to do things, invent things.

I want to try things that nobody's ever tried before. I want to fly.

And I want to smoke and tell your father to go to hell.

Oh, Emmy, Emmy!

If I thought we women could in any way change anything,

don't you think I'd encourage you?

No, no, no, no. These are the times we live in.

Mother, there's got to be a better way.

Please, gods. Please help me find it.

The Nile is overflowing. There is a wheat shortage.

The Pharaoh has haemorrhoids.

The gods have bigger things to worry about than you.

Whoa!

Emmy! Oh!

Emmy? Emmy?

Oh, Emmy.

Oh.

(♪ "In My Wildest Dreams" by Belinda Carlisle)

- ♪ In my wildest dreams - ♪ In my wildest

- ♪ In my wildest dreams - ♪ In my wildest dreams

♪ I'm out of focus, have a twisted picture

♪ Of the wonderland where I was goin'

♪ Kept regrettin' all my glib sidesteppin'

♪ Until you were sent to me

♪ In my wildest dreams

- ♪ I never knew - ♪ In my wildest dreams

♪ Anyone who could move me like you

♪ And do what you do to me

♪ Oh, baby

♪ The sweet collision, unexpected moment

♪ When our eyes connected with each other

♪ Once I'd felt your touch

♪ The magic meant so much

♪ I gave my heart to you

♪ In my wildest dreams

- ♪ I never knew - ♪ In my wildest dreams

♪ Anyone who could move me like you

♪ And do what you do to me

What would you say if I told you you get more beautiful every day?

Huh? What was that?

Arms and legs? Oh, God, how thoughtless. I'm sorry.

(♪ "My Girl" by The Temptations)

- ♪ I've got sunshine - ♪ I got sunshine

- ♪ On a cloudy day - ♪ On a cloudy day

- ♪ When it's cold... Oh, she needs a tan. - ♪ When it's cold outside

What do you think? Speak up. Don't be shy.

♪ I got the month of May

- Wrong sex! - ♪ I guess you'd say

- ♪ You say - ♪ What can make me feel this way?

Now, that's the ticket! Nothing beats a great pair of legs, huh?

- ♪ You'd say - ♪ What can make me feel this way?

- Popeye look. - ♪ My girl

- ♪ My girl - ♪ My girl

- ♪ Talkin' 'bout my girl - ♪ My girl

- ♪ I got so much honey the bees envy me - ♪ I got so much honey

♪ Oh, the bees envy me

- ♪ I got a sweeter song - ♪ I got a sweeter song than...

Boss! Oh, great. I was just comin' to see you.

You know, you could get the Dummy of the Week award, Switcher.

- She turned out pretty real, didn't she? - I wasn't talking about her.

Oh. Well, what do you think? It only took me six days.

I could turn out three, four of these a month.

You're supposed to knock off three or four a day, Switcher! Get back to work!

What about quality, boss? Style and grace? These things take time.

That's it. You're fired!

Fired?

OK, but can I finish her? You see, I'm a sculptor, trying to be a sculptor, and she...

Beat it! Now!

Here you go. Have fun.

You guys having a good time? Having fun at the party?

That's my boy!

Here you go.

Just one second. Here you go. Bye-bye.

Hey! Want a giraffe for the birthday boy? Huh?

Monkey? A pony? A tiger?

- How about a hint? - I want the big one, stupid.

Sorry. That's the official Flights of Fancy balloon. A poodle?

Listen, biscuit brain. My old man's paying for this party.

One giant balloon coming up.

There you go. Have fun. Now... what do you want?

Daddy!

Daddy!

Hey, biscuit brain! What the hell are you doing?

Take your hands off my kid!

My balloon! You're fired.

(boy) Whoa!

- Trimmin' hedges long, Switcher? - Oh, actually, no.

I'm really a sculptor. But, uh, there's not too much work for us these days.

No reason why hedges can't become art, though, huh?

You're fired! Get your paycheck and get outta here!

- What do you think? - What do I think?

I'm fired! Pick up my paycheck. Get out. No severance. Never come back.

- Oh, look. The Road Warrior. - Hi, Roxie.

His Jag's in the shop.

Hi.

- Be nice if you had something with doors. - Oh, come on.

- Where are we going to dinner? - I'm not that hungry.

I thought we'd grab a hot dog, go for a walk, look at the moon?

- You lost your job again. - I didn't lose it, I know where it is.

- It's just somebody else has got it. - Oh, jeez. Can we go?

- Good night, Mr Wert. - Nice work, children.

- Who's that? - BJ Wert, the regional manager.

He is Illustra. Now can this bucket of junk go?

Yeah, I'm trying.

- Oh, good night, Roxie. - Good night!

Must be nice havin' your own limo. You can go from any funeral right to dinner.

- (engine starts) - Ah!

This job at Illustra's destroying your sense of humour. Get a grip!

I'm not the one that can't deal with reality.

Reality is very disappointing.

Jonathan, I care about you, but if we sleep together tonight it will confuse things.

- I think you should see a professional. - You mean a hooker?

- No, a psychiatrist. - I can't afford a psychiatrist, Roxie.

Well, then, call one of those shrinks on the radio.

They're only good for little problems that fit between commercials.

Good night, Jonathan.

Roxie, what... Roxie!

(thunder)

Rox!

Oh, my God. It's you!

I wanted to take you home, but they didn't let me.

You are the first thing I've created in a long time that made me feel like an artist.

Oh, no.

Whoo!

See you tomorrow!

Good morning. What a gentleman.

They're putting up the sign!

How fun! Yoo-hoo!

It's a scoshe crooked!

Isn't this exciting? A customer lined up to get into our store.

- Tell me, do you like our new sign? - It's very nice.

- You really been here a hundred years? - Not personally, but the store, yes.

It was built by my grandfather, Tough Teddy Prince.

My father ran it until he passed away recently.

- Oh, I'm sorry. - Well, he was very old.

And he died the way he wanted to, in women's lingerie.

- Pardon me? - Heart attack in the women's department.

Excuse me. They don't have that sign quite right yet.

- Oh, look out! - Hey, sorry, man.

Watch yourself, ma'am.

I got it!

Maybe.

- Young man, I'm sorry! - No, that's... Oh! No problem.

Aah! Oh!

- If I can make it up to you in any way... - Yeah! I could use a job!

- What do you do? - Anything.

- When can you start? - Uh... As soon as I finish this.

Yoo-hoo, young man! What's your name?

- My name? Uh, Jonathan Switcher. - You're hired!

Thank you. My lucky day.

Every time I walk through these doors, I feel like I'm home.

I practically grew up here.

Greta Garbo used to get her make-up right over there.

Of course, you probably don't know who Greta Garbo is.

Sure I do. Ninotchka, Grand Hotel.

I don't sleep much at night.

Neither do I. At least, not in the two weeks since I've been in charge here.

I don't know how we're going to make this store great again!

Looks fine to me. What time do we open?

We are open.

Oh.

Well, I... I'm sure things'll pick up by lunch.

Yes. Uh... BJ, it's all going according to plan.

I mean, it's like a ghost ship around here.

They're gonna be beggin' to sell this place within a month.

No. No, Timkin is no threat.

Well... BJ. Beej. She's here.

Mr Richards, do you know what this young man just did?

- Uh... Shoplifting? - He saved my life.

Those incompetents you hired nearly got me killed.

If I were paranoid, I'd swear this was sabotage.

Claire, it's not as if I was turning away Harvard graduates.

If you know someone you feel is qualified to work here...

Yes! Jonathan Switcher! Let's show him our gratitude.

- Well, five dollars should do it. - No, no. I want you to give him a job.

Take good care of him.

Well, uh... Switcher?

What kind of work experience have you had?

Oh, I've had just about every job there is. Briefly.

I'd like to do something creative. Maybe with, say, mannequins.

Please. Uh, listen. I pride myself on being able to size up a job applicant

and see just what kind of executive potential he has.

I have just the job for you.

(Roxie) So you got a new job. That's terrific. What is it?

Let's just say that thousands of dollars of merchandise

go through my hands every day.

- I'm takin' you for a celebration dinner. - Those panties, up to Lingerie.

- Panties. Right. I'm into it. - Did you say "panties"?

- Panties? - I can't talk now. Pick you up at eight.

- See you then. - Bye.

I've seen him pick you up. That little... pissant!

You can't tell me that he's satisfying you sexually.

- That's none of your business. - I would like to make it my business.

I would love to sink my teeth into your... little bottom.

What? What, what?

Did Armand say something bad? Forgive me!

English and me, it's new. My tongue, it slides.

Look, our relationship is strictly business. You got that?

Yes. Of course. I have some reports to get out by noon o'clock.

Agh!

- See anything you like? - Just lookin' for panties.

You found them. However, you missed the lingerie department by four floors.

- Well, get going. - Right.

Asshole.

What was that?

Oh, nice hall.

I must be losin' my mind.

I guess all artists fall in love with their creations, but you just seem so... special.

Oh! Well, roll over Bill Shakespeare!

That is the sweetest sentiment I ever heard.

- Uh, no, no. I was rehearsing a play. - I always find it best not to explain.

It adds a certain mystique to one's reputation.

No, no. No. I'm... I'm a regular kind of guy, OK?

Don't disappoint me. When you finish your conversation,

please bring her to window three.

Sure. You got it. I'm Jonathan Switcher.

Hollywood. Hollywood Montrose.

Whoo! Doesn't it just sing?

Oh, it sings, yeah.

I'm a window-dresser here. We're going to have fun, fun, fun!

I am so glad you're working here!

- You are? - Why, of course I am, honey.

I never thought they'd hire anyone stranger than me.

(hums)

- (dog growls) - Oh!

Halt!

- Identify yourself. - Jonathan Switcher. New stock boy.

Yeah. Mr Richards told me all about you.

I am Captain Felix Maxwell, night security commander.

It is my responsibility to secure the perimeter here at... Prince and Company.

I didn't know there was danger of invasion.

There's no danger of nothing as long as me and Rambo are on patrol.

- Rambo? - Yeah.

I call him that because he likes to draw... first blood.

Just what is your assignment here tonight, boy?

- I'm helping Hollywood with the window. - Oh, the little Mary has an assistant, huh?

- Where do you people come from? - Ohio.

- Ohio? - Yeah.

You mean they got 'em in Ohio?

So, you like your new assignment?

Could have been worse. Could have put me on with a bigoted jerk.

Hold it there, boy! Did you have anybody particular in mind?

Do you think he meant anybody in particular, Rambo?

Oh, don't let Felix get to you. He just has a bad case of Miami Vice.

Listen, I gotta go, OK? I promised my girlfriend I was gonna take her out, OK?

- (screams) - What? What happened? What did I say?

Albert left me, the bitch. He said my thighs are too fat.

- Do my thighs look too fat to you? - No.

- You didn't look! - I don't know about men's thighs.

- They look fine to me. They really do. - Thank you.

Albert called me Cellulite City.

Maybe he's right. Maybe I should have my hips lifted.

- If you wanna lose weight, just... diet. - Oh, diets are no use.

It's those jelly doughnuts. They call to me in the night.

"Hollywood! Come and get me, Hollywood!" I can't stay away from them.

- Like you and women's dressing rooms. - No, no. That was a misunderstanding.

Have any of your friends been vacuumed out?

I heard those doctors in Beverly Hills just open you up

- and suck those fat cells outta there! - It... it sounds nice.

I wonder if there's any way you could do it yourself with a vacuum cleaner. Oh!

(sobs)

Albert's been off work for an hour. There's no telling what he's...

Hollywood, Hollywood. Hey, hey. Take it easy, OK?

Just go home and get yourself some rest. You'll be fine.

An artiste does not leave his work unfinished.

No, it looks fine to me.

In that case, I'm a dream that once was.

Look out, Albert, because Hollywood is on your case!

- Yeah! Go get 'im. - Oh!

Good grief.

What's the matter? Don't you like your new scarf?

Not especially.

- What a funny way to say hello. - What the hell's going on?

My name is Ema Hesire, but you can call me Emmy.

This is a joke, right? Some sort of Prince and Company initiation?

- Who hired you? Hollywood? - Nobody, Jonathan. You know who I am.

No, no. This can't be happening.

The sign! The electricity. My brain synapses were destroyed.

I felt so sorry for you last night. You looked so lost and lonely.

Last night you saw me? Oh, no. You can't be her.

While making me, didn't you feel inspiration,

like your hands were moved by a force not of this world?

You made this body so that I could come to life!

Tell me, am I in the twilight zone or just nuts?

- I'm so glad I picked you. - I'd create someone who doesn't like me?

Tell me your life story. It seems to have slipped my mind.

It's a long story. I was born in 2514 BC, in Edfu, Egypt.

- I'll be 4,501 next April. - I'll bake a cake.

I couldn't do anything. Know who my parents wanted me to marry?

- Who? - A camel-dung dealer.

That would have been my guess. It's stress.

I'm having a hallucination caused by stress.

Does this feel like a hallucination?

Come on. Let's go have some fun.

Food additives. It's food additives.

Jonathan! Come on!

(TV) Except for early morning clouds, the weather for the Philadelphia area...

Damn him.

Oh! Oh!

- What I could have done with these toys! - You like to work with your hands?

Oh, yes. I love to build and invent things. Back in Edfu I even made a pair of wings.

- And I'm sure you flew. - That's right!

Well, almost.

You still don't believe I'm real, do you?

Uh... I'm open for discussion.

(nails ricochet)

Why don't we stick to good old-fashioned hand tools for the time being, OK?

- You've got good hands. - Thank you.

I like the way they felt when you were putting me together.

Tonight we'll do something different,

something this store has never seen before.

- I wish you weren't so worried. - Easy for you. You're a mannequin.

You'll always have work. Me? I'm gonna wind up in the nuthouse after this.

Maybe insanity's covered in the employee health plan.

That's the dress I should wear in the window.

- Hey, don't do that. - You weren't shy when you created me.

You weren't so real.

Good God. Who are you?

(TV) Oh, good morning, boys and girls. I don't see Ziggy.

Oh, she's a big smiley elephant.

Hey, hey! Roxie, you look foxy! Can I ride you?

- I'll be walking to work, thank you. - Oh, no, no, no, no.

- Don't be silly. Don't be silly. - Roxie! Wait!

I thought our plans were for eight last night. My mistake.

I gotta talk to you.

- We have nothing to talk about. - Take a hike, wussy pants.

Roxie, I think I'm going crazy. I saw things I know couldn't happen.

Where were you? Did you sleep in the street?

- Prince and Company. - Prince and Company. Your big job!

You know the mannequin that I made?

She's there, and she came to life and she knew who I was, OK?

You could have told me you just decided to stand me up.

Instead, you come here lying with this ridiculous story!

I'm not lying, I'm insane.

Armand, let's just get out of here.

Mom? When I was growing up, did I ever do anything really strange?

Yeah, I know I was always different. Let me ask you this.

Is there any history of insanity in the family? I mean, Gran...

Grandma and Grandpa weren't half-brother and sister?

No, I'm fine, Ma. Well, you know, you're alone a lot.

You know, you start inventing things. Ow!

Women, you know, a beautiful woman.

Enough about me. How are you? You ever have hallucinations?

Roxie, this is America. You do not set the pace by redecorating.

- You demolish. - Of course. I'll remember that.

We'll build the best Illustra yet on that site. And when I move up,

someone will have to take my place here, huh? Huh?

- I'll be keeping my eye on you, Roxie. - BJ, BJ, BJ! You won't believe it.

Prince and Company has the most incredible window.

I'm talking fab. People were lined up outside to get a peek!

I passed through on my way from a tanning session.

It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen.

- Really? - Well, uh...

You know, it... it really wasn't that great. It was...

Um, it was interesting... in a jejune way at best.

I didn't care for it myself.

You know...

You should have seen it. It was beyond brilliant.

There were 20 mannequins, with tennis rackets coming out of...

Beej, he's just a twerpy stock boy. That window was a fluke.

Well, when I move up, somebody will have to take my place here, Richards.

But if you let that stock boy screw things up, it sure as hell won't be you.

I have worked on this deal too long to have it ruined by some snot-nosed punk.

I can handle him. I...

I meant you, Richards!

Of course you did, sir. But, you know, the board meeting is today.

I guarantee the sale will go through.

And Illustra, under your inspired leadership, will reach new heights.

Richards! Where in the hell did you learn to kiss ass like that?

- Did you take a class? - Oh, no, sir, no. That's a God-given gift.

Beej? BJ, are you there?

Mrs Timkin, what possessed Switcher to create such a window display?

Did you see the crowds gaping on the sidewalk? It's an embarrassment.

Never you fear. Your Hollywood is here!

Rumour Control has it the board wants to fire your little behind.

Just let me at those so-and-sos. I will straighten them out.

- How can they fire you? - These are business people.

They won't appreciate an emotional appeal.

You're right. I was hoping to avoid this, but this is an hour of desperation.

This is not the way to approach this, OK...

You don't think so?

Don't tell anyone you saw me dressed like this. I have a reputation to uphold.

Buddy, I appreciate this demonstration...

Oh, that's it! A demonstration! I will create a media event.

Call the newspapers. The headline will read,

"If Jonathan is fired, Hollywood flies."

Excuse me while I step out onto the window ledge.

No. Hollywood!

- Hollywood! - Whoo! Ooh!

- Come on. Get off! - Ooh!

- I'm sorry. - It's OK.

- I get carried away sometimes. - Not you!

Oh, that Richards! He gives men a bad name.

- He said he would fix everything for me. - Mm-hm.

What arrogance! That worm of a stock boy has affronted the dignity of this store.

I'll have it taken down and make sure that lunatic never works in this town again.

Shall we move on to the sale to Illustra?

Just a minute, Mr Richards. I believe we're onto something here.

Maybe people will come to see our bold new window displays,

and if they come to look, they'll stay to buy.

With all due respect, it's a little late for that,

and we do have the firm offer from Illustra.

For one-tenth the value of the store.

Besides, I can't bear the thought of selling this place,

especially to that awful BJ Wert.

We know how much the store means to you, ma'am, but...

Well, ten per cent is better than bankruptcy.

I think Mrs Timkin is right.

I move we postpone the sale for six weeks.

- I second the motion. - All in favour?

All opposed?

This meeting is adjourned.

- Harris, would you bring Mr Switcher in? - What? No, wait. I think...

Jonathan, good news. We've not only decided to keep you on,

but I'm promoting you to visual merchandiser.

You're kidding! That's great! What is it?

Just keep doing what you did last night, and you'll be fine.

Uh, Mrs Timkin... I'm not sure I can do it again.

Last night may have been a one-time inspiration.

Oh, Jonathan, don't doubt yourself.

Go with it. Feel it. You're doing the job you were meant to do.

Well, you must lead a charmed life. It was all I could do to save your skin in here.

No thanks are necessary, Switcher.

Oh!

Good evening, Mr Richards, sir.

Felix, that new stock boy, Switcher, has been promoted.

He'll be doing windows at night. Keep an eye on him for me.

You suspect pilferage, sir? I'd be happy to strip-search him.

You people that work at night scare me.

I just want you to let me know what he's up to, how he works.

Yes, sir. His MO. Would you like that in a written report?

Oh, you write?

No. Rambo does.

- Just watch him. - Yes, sir.

Come on, Rambo.

We have got ourselves... a mission.

(sniffs)

Jesus Christ, Rambo!

Hi, it's me. Jonathan. Remember?

Well, I guess it was just temporary insanity.

- Oh, ye of little faith. - Emmy! You're back! I thought...

You remind me of my old boyfriend Chris. He had no confidence.

- Chris? Who's Chris? - Oh, just a sailor.

I told him that the world was round and I never saw him again.

Christopher Columbus? You knew Christopher Columbus?

Uh-huh.

So, you didn't come directly from Edfu?

Oh, no. Along the way I tried out different times and places.

None of them ever really seemed right.

Oh. You didn't happen to run into Michelangelo?

Michelangelo. Michelangelo. Oh, yes!

Oh, he wasn't very interested in me. He was involved with a guy named David.

- Come on! - Were you there?

Mrs Timkin loved what you did last night, but... they think I did it.

They want me to do more windows. You gotta help me.

Of course.

You are magic.

(♪ "Do You Dream About Me?" by Alisha)

Where do they hide all the musicians?

- Let's dance. - No, I can't.

♪ Sometimes I watch you while you're sleeping, baby

♪ Sometimes I see you hold your pillow tight

♪ Am I the one you're holding onto, honey?

♪ Am I the one who's in your dreams at night?

♪ You tell me there's no other, baby

♪ You tell me I'm the only one

♪ I wish I knew for certain, baby

♪ You say you love me, tell me, honey

♪ Do you dream about me, baby, when the night comes?

♪ When you close your eyes

♪ Oh, do you dream about me when you dream of someone?

♪ When you close your eyes, who do you see?

♪ Do you dream about me?

♪ Sometimes I know you really love me, baby

♪ It's so much clearer in the light of day

♪ Your touch is always reassuring, baby

♪ You say the words I need to hear you say

♪ You tell me there's no other, baby

♪ You tell me I'm the only one

♪ But I want to know for certain, baby

♪ You say you love me, tell me, honey

♪ Do you dream about me, baby, when the night comes?

♪ When you close your eyes

♪ Oh, do you dream about me when you dream of someone?

♪ When you close your eyes, who do you see?

♪ Yeah, do you dream about me?

♪ I wish I knew what's on your mind

♪ When will I see?

♪ You're in my dreams every night

♪ Do you dream, do you dream, do you dream

♪ Do you dream about me?

♪ Ooh, yeah

♪ Hey, do you dream about me?

♪ When the night comes, when you close your eyes

♪ Do you dream about me when you dream of someone?

♪ When you close your eyes, who do you see?

♪ Dream about me

♪ When the night comes

♪ When you close your eyes

- Oh! Shake that thing. - Hollywood, great.

I want you to meet somebody. This is Em... my.

Oh, very nice. Maybe I can get GI Joe and we can double sometime.

- No. You don't understand. - Don't say nothing. It's cool.

It's obvious to this country girl that you're an A No.1 creative freak.

Imagine pretending to be a stock boy when you're a major artiste!

I am so jealous!

Now, some people may find you strange, but not me.

I respect that. Create, honey. Create.

I'll leave you two alone and go and meet Albert for dinner. I hope he doesn't mind.

Mm-hm.

Just when I think you're real, you vanish. What is with you? What's with me?

Didn't I tell you? You're the only one who can see me like this.

- That's not exactly fair, is it? - Talk to them.

- (growls) - You hear something, boy?

- (Jonathan) Wait a minute! - (Emmy) What is that?

OK, Rambo. Get ready.

Attack!

(barks)

(whimpers)

Rambo. What?

- Stay there! - Easy, Felix.

I don't think she's armed.

You can fool Rambo, but it won't work with me, Switcher!

My brain is quicker than a...

- Well, I think we've outdone ourselves. - Yeah, this one's kinda fun.

- Ready? - Let her rip.

Very nice.

- Morning, Mrs T. - Oh, good morning, Jonathan.

What do you think? It's hot, huh? I mean, meltdown.

Oh, yes. Hot. Smoking. Burning, churning. Whatever. Oh, yes!

(phone rings)

- Hello. - Hi, Jonathan.

- It's me, Roxie. - I thought you weren't talking to me.

I wanted to see you, to know you're all right.

I gotta get some sleep. I work nights now, OK?

All right. But get up in time for lunch.

I'm taking you to Chez Jacques at one o'clock. You know where it is.

Yeah. I was fired from there once. I almost burned that joint down.

It'll be just like old times. And please, don't stand me up again.

- OK. - Bye.

He'll be there.

Love that gal.

Hi, Hans!

I see you're wearing the night-time hair at lunch now. Looks good.

It's you! The flambé terrorist!

Will you not be satisfied till you burn the place down?

It was an accident, Hans. Just trying to show the customer a little flair.

- Jonathan! - Hi, Roxie.

- You're here to dine? - That's right.

By the way, the eyebrows are growing back nice.

- Sorry I'm late. I overslept. - It's OK. You're only an hour late.

Just glad you made it.

I love this place. It's so romantic.

Yeah. Boy, they did a good job rebuilding the balcony.

It went up like a Roman candle.

Jonathan, it seems like I was all wrong about you,

and I have a way of making it up to you.

How would you like to be the chief window-dresser at Illustra?

- You're kidding. - Word is out, Jonathan. You're hot.

Can you imagine being at Illustra? Ooh, Illustra.

- They want me? - We want you.

Well, what if I told you I had a little help?

Oh, two of you? Whoever he is, you can bring him along.

And what if I told you it was a very beautiful woman?

- I... I wouldn't mind. Not in the least. - I can't do it.

- You'll start Monday. - You're not listening.

You can drive me to work every day. I miss that quirky little motorcycle.

- Roxie, I'm not taking the job. - What? Why not?

If I'm one thing, I'm loyal.

Jonathan, you're not seriously turning me down?

I'm not the same guy I used to be. I've found a place where I belong.

I'll see you around.

(screaming)

I'll get it! Don't panic! It's just a little one!

Bye, Roxie.

There's something strange going on in the store at night, Mr Richards.

Every time Rambo sees a mannequin, he gets so scared,

his little pug tail comes right out his little mouth.

- Felix, you were in the war, weren't you? - Airborne, yes, sir!

Did you jump from a plane and land on your face?

Yes, sir! I don't see what this has to do with little Rambo.

Isn't it obvious Switcher is behind all of this?

- That skunk! - I mean, a man who is an eternal failure

is putting together the best window displays in town.

The bum!

You say you hear voices. No one's there.

- Just him and his dummies. - Is someone helping him?

Is he a ventriloquist? Some kind of mad genius?

Good questions all, sir.

- Find out the answers! - Yes, sir!

- What about little Rambo? - Screw your dog!

(whimpers)

Let's go, people. Clear out. Clear out, lady!

Come on, Rambo. Tonight we nail that little fart blossom.

On behalf of Captain Clark and the crew,

thank you for flying with Eastern.

We hope you enjoy your fun-filled stay in the Caribbean.

(Emmy) Oh, we deserve this vacation.

The sun feels pretty strong.

I could use some suntan lotion,

if someone were willing to rub it on.

Well, it's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it.

We are alone.

OK.

So, listen. We find him, get a picture of whoever this woman is, and get out.

If we can't hire Jonathan, maybe at least we can buy her out.

I don't know about you, but I've always wanted to make love

in the ladies' shoe department. The smell of fine leather!

Aah!

Can I show you something in your size?

What? You mean you took me serious?

Oh, you're gonna pay for that!

(giggling)

Mayday! Mayday, Rambo.

OK, boy! Oh, baby! Now, show 'em what you're made of.

- Go get 'em! - (whimpers)

Rambo! This way!

This means a court martial!

- You hear that? That must be them. - I wish it was us.

Come on. We've got them.

- Give up? - Never.

Oh!

Ooh, Switcher.

You are one sick puppy.

So this is the young lady he dumped you for?

Nice.

Oh, beauteous.

I really should've listened when he asked me for help.

Ooh! Tell me, when you were making love to him,

did he ever scream "Don't stop, Woody"?

- Ooh! Aah! - (crash)

Oh, my camera.

No, this is how I... get my inspiration, I create.

I can tell by looking at you you're not the artistic type.

You know, Mr Richards told me to keep an eye on you.

But I think I'm gonna handle things my own way.

You wanna move your sweetheart?

That one was for Rambo.

Aah! Switcher!

This is for my mama!

Oh, Switcher.

Ow!

Oh! Switcher, I'm gonna knock you into the middle of next week!

- How'd you do that? - I was behind him. He didn't see me.

Teach him to mess with a man and his mannequin.

Hm. Huh. Hm-hm. Whoo!

Wow!

Hey! Where'd you go?

Emmy!

Emmy!

Emmy!

This is your last chance. We take him or we die tryin'!

I did it! I flew! I really flew!

- Are you all right? - Terrific! Incredible! I feel great!

Did you see how high I was?

- I just had a thought. - Hm?

You think we should name our first kid Pinocchio?

Jonathan, are you really sure this is right for you?

I'm positive.

What about you? You've waited a long time.

How do you know you're not missing something better 5,000 years from now?

There could never be anything better than being here with you.

This is one guy who's never gonna leave your side.

The window!

Come on, come on.

- It's almost sunrise. We can't finish. - Don't worry about a thing.

We'll never dress the mannequins in time.

That's right.

Absolutely scintillating. Beyond genius.

It sucks.

Fool.

(snoring)

Well, I don't believe it's lunch yet. Let's not dally.

Felix!

- What happened? - Well, why don't you tell me?

- Where's Rambo? - (whimpers)

It's that Switcher. I caught him doing awful things to a half-naked dummy.

Is this your idea of a security guard?

- Claire, I assure you, I had nothing... - You hired him, you fire him.

Well, what if he's telling the truth?

How can you think that?

The man is a lunatic, but I've never known him to lie.

He's right.

Mr Richards, this store has never been more successful

and it's all due to Jonathan Switcher.

He can put a rubber glove on his head and run naked through the store,

- yelling "Hi, I'm a squid!" - Hi. Morning, Mrs T.

Oh, hello, Jonathan.

This morning's window is your most brilliant yet.

- Thank you. What happened here? - God only knows.

Felix, did you try and take Omaha beach all by yourself again?

- I was doing what Mr Richards told me. - I never said...

Oh, is that right?

Well, Richards, when you take Felix to get his last paycheck,

get your own as well.

Uh, Mrs Timkin, you may be our grande dame,

but I've had serious doubts about a woman your age running this store.

- I'll appeal to the board. - I can't see you appealing to anybody.

Don't mess with this old chick, mister. Just pack it up!

Jonathan, let's go.

Get that dog outta the tree, huh?

Hey! You can't do this! We'll file a grievance with the union!

We're not in a union, you idiot.

Oh, hi there, Jonathan. I didn't know you were in there.

- Excuse me. - Oh, that's lovely.

Mm-hm.

(Wert) What the hell are you people doing, huh?

Have you seen the latest figures, children, huh? Huh? Have you?

89 per cent! Sales are down 89 per cent!

Prince and Company is going through the roof!

All right. Now, I want this to stop, children.

And if it doesn't, so help me, God,

you are all dead meat!

Jonathan, it is my honour to inform you that, starting Monday morning,

you will be the youngest vice president ever at Prince and Company.

- Congratulations. - (all) Hear, hear.

- I don't know what to say. - Say "Thank you."

- Thank you. Thank you! - Long live Prince and... Company.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Son of a gun.

So, Richards was telling the truth.

I've been in this business 20 years.

Hell, half the guys in this store probably wear lace underwear.

But this!

We're talking a Sunday drive into some serious dementia.

Well.

- It's our move now. - BJ, I would do anything for Illustra,

but these pictures, they could kind of ruin his life.

Roxie, I'd never ruin anyone's life.

Well, I would, but only if it were absolutely necessary.

Now, Roxie, you're not developing a conscience on me, are you?

No. I don't think so.

Good. Anyway, I don't wanna ruin his life.

I just wanna hire him, and, uh...

now I know how.

Hey, Gordon.

- Oh, Mrs Thomas. Hi. - Please, Jonathan. It's all yours.

- Thanks. Men's room's broken. - Of course, dear. Whatever you say.

- Oh, congratulations. - Thank you.

You won't believe what Mrs Timkin and the board just told me.

- Vice president. - Oh! Jonathan, that's wonderful!

Tina! Lupe! He's talking to the dummy again.

Nobody deserves it more. I knew something like this would happen.

Creative freedom, practically my own boss. Maybe some World Series tickets.

I'm sorry. I'm going on and on. You know I couldn't do this without you.

I won't take the job unless we can be together.

Jonathan, you can't worry about what will happen to us.

What does that mean?

Girls, please, let's not be catty.

I will not tolerate eavesdropping unless I'm a part of it.

I assume my Jonathan is in there.

You can't go in. He's got company, if you know what I mean.

And who do you think introduced them?

- She'll never say your hips are too fat. - Oh, Hollywood! Jeez! Listen...

You know I would never bother you when you're getting a piece of wood.

But this is muy importante. Your Hollywood needs help.

- Oh, what's up? - I need your creative muse.

I've always thought of myself as hot stuff. The very, very best at what I do.

But seeing you... Let's just say it. I am dirt.

Mould me. Shape me. I'm a fast learner.

Oh, please, Jonathan. Do not let them turn me out into that dark night, alone.

Hollywood, we can talk about designs and stuff,

but when I work, I gotta work alone.

Of course. I understand perfectly.

You're an artiste, and that's the way you work. I can respect that.

Jesus. Hollywood, listen. Don't worry.

You can work as long as you want here. I'm a vice president now.

- Who's crying? - It's either our new vice president,

the fairy, or the dummy.

(wailing)

Emmy, please. You gotta help me.

I can't come alive in front of Hollywood. Besides, you can do it on your own.

But we're a team. We do everything together.

You can't hold yourself back because of me. Now come on. Hollywood's waiting.

You'll do a masterpiece tonight.

Emmy...

I'll be waiting in the window.

Jonathan, how about a picture. Mom will think I've switched.

- Hollywood, you're a genius. - I am? Well, yes!

- OK, we need to make a list. - Fire away.

- Uh, 30 feet of black nylon cord. - Ow! Sounds like my kinda list!

Easy, sugar. Uh... OK.

You personally vouch for this guy?

He's worked at Prince and Company for 15 years. I think he'll be just fine.

I mean, he's an imbecile, but...

Oh, this is him.

Felix, come in. This is Mr BJ Wert.

Well, Mr Wert, sir!

It's fine.

Felix, there are hundreds of mannequins at Prince and Company.

Could you identify the one Jonathan Switcher has a... romantic interest in?

Oh, absolutely, sir. I never forget a name or a face, Mr Nertz.

Good. Well, Felix, we need your help.

And if you succeed, you will have a cushy new job, right here at Illustra.

We want to get Switcher's mannequin out of the store and bring her here, secretly.

Oh! A covert operation.

I would be happy and proud to lead this mission, sir.

Good!

It's the most beautiful window I've ever seen.

- It's all you, you know. - Not this time.

Every time. You're part of me now. I've got you in here.

Come on. You ready to go?

- Are you really sure you wanna do this? - Absolutely.

You've been cooped up in the store too long. Who cares what people think?

Just put your arms around me and hold on tight.

With pleasure.

Jonathan!

Look, Jonathan, I...

- I know about your problem. - What problem?

You're riding around town with a mannequin on your motorcycle.

What is wrong with this picture?

Oh, right. You two haven't met. Roxie, this is Emmy. Emmy, Roxie.

Nice to meet... Oh, my God. What am I saying?

Jonathan, I wanna give you one last chance. Now, come to Illustra!

What is in this for you, Roxie? An office with a view?

I don't need Illustra. Or you. I got friends here, people who care.

And someone who makes me feel good about myself.

Bye, Roxie.

- Whoo-hoo-hoo! - You'll be sorry!

You're making a big mistake!

Roxie.

He's out of his mind! BJ was right.

When I get that dummy, I'm gonna tear her hair out!

Roxie, Roxie, Roxie. You know what you need to do right now?

You need to put him and this nasty affair out of your mind.

Now, how is the best way to do that? Huh? Huh?

By having a night of distasteable sex

with someone you care absolutely nothing about.

And proudly, I would like to be that person.

Fine. Let's just go to your place.

- Really? - Drive fast before I have second thoughts.

Armand is the wind.

Hey, Mr Richards. You better put some camouflage on, sir.

I am not going to put shoe polish on my face, thank you.

Now could we please get into the store, Felix?

Yes, sir.

- Oh! Look at him with the dummy. - Who are you to criticise?

It's him! It's her! Ooh, that little prevert! He's stealing her before we can!

Let's not do anything rash. We'll follow and find the right moment to grab her.

Don't worry. I'm an expert at surveillance.

Hang on!

- Where'd he go? - That way. That way.

That is it! No more of this surveillance crap.

Captain Felix Maxwell takes this from no mannequin.

Ah! Get us out of here before he gets out of the car!

- Hang on! - I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die.

You're finished, Switcher!

You may as well hang up your jockey strap!

No! No, Mr Richards! No!

- One-way street, you maniac! - I know!

This is for you, Rambo!

- We got him! - I want to get out.

- Geronimo! - I want to get out.

Oh!

I don't understand it. This never happened to Armand before, never!

It must be you. You're so cold.

You're so... so unfeeling.

Where can I get a mannequin too?

(door slams)

(sobs)

(giggling)

(sighs)

Jonathan.

What are you thinking about?

- The window. - Mm.

It turned out pretty well, didn't it?

It was breathtaking.

Emmy.

Ema Hesire, you inspire me.

I feel like I could do anything.

Windows are only the start.

I think we could design an entire city.

No one takes the time to build things that have character, dignity.

People need that.

We could give it to them.

I love you, Emmy.

I love you too, Jonathan.

I'd better get into the window.

That peckerhead doubled back on me. I saw his motorcycle out front.

That dummy of his has got to be here.

Oh!

- This is the one! This is the one! - You positive?

Abso-tively.

Wait a minute. This one kinda looks like her too.

I've put my future in the hands of a vegetable.

Just get the mannequin. Get... get the mannequin.

- (Felix) It's over there. - (Richards) No, this is the door.

This is not the door. Oh, this is the door.

Oh, wait. Mr Richards, did you ever notice how they all sorta look alike?

Would you just look at that one?

Maybe this is her.

It's really interesting.

- It's clever, all right. - This is art.

- It's like theatre. - I get it. I get it.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Good morning, starshine. I sleep alone too,

- but I don't advertise it. - Could you get my clothes?

Were you here all night? You musta slept through it.

- What? - (hums "Dragnet" theme)

All the girl mannequins disappeared from the windows last night.

Yes, my dear, your favourite, she is gone too.

Emmy.

Jonathan. Jonathan!

I'm sorry, baby. But us special people are destined for heartache sometime.

You know what works best for me? Crying shamelessly. Oh!

Don't do anything drastic. Oh me, oh my!

OK, now. Wait. Wait a minute.

Yes, I shall cover you.

Whoo!

Yes. This is... Whoa!

Yes, indeed, oh, yes, girl!

Mm-hm. Jonathan! Jonathan! Wait!

- Roxie? Roxie Shield? - Can I help you?

- Roxie Shield. - She's in the boardroom.

- Thank you! - You can't go in there! Security!

Jonathan! Well, we were hoping you might drop in.

- Can I get you something to drink? - Where is she, Roxie?

She's perfectly safe. Jonathan, let's talk about your future here at Illustra.

I think it'll be wonderful to have the whole team back together.

- What'd you do with her? - Relax. It's just a mannequin.

How does 55,000 a year sound to you?

- You... - Hey, hey, hey, hey! All right! 60,000.

Beej, I don't think this man is of Illustra fibre.

- Where is she? - You won't see her again.

- Where are you going? - We also have a profit-sharing...

Switcher, we have extremely incriminating photos of you and that...

Well, get up, Richards! Get him!

Hey!

Sorry. Gotta run.

Security alert! Man in leather jacket! Hey, come on! Get...

All units, code two. Perpetrator on main floor.

Roger. Over and out. Come on, Terminator.

Duty calls.

Excuse me.

Roxie!

- Call the police! - The SWAT team.

- Oh! Hey! - Go away.

- Felix! - Oh, Switcher.

Terminator, lunchtime.

Get him!

- Nice dog. - Shit!

Switcher! Switcher!

You're finished, Switcher!

Hey, Switcher!

Get me out of here! Get me out of here!

Watch it! Put me down! Put me down, you idiots!

Switcher! I'm gonna get you, Switcher!

You're finished, Switcher.

Yoo-hoo! Boys!

Way to go, buddy!

Two things I love to do. That's fight and kiss boys. Come on, honey!

Come and get me, Sister Maryella! What's the matter, honey?

What's the matter? Come on! Whoo-hoo!

Whoo! This is what being a man is all about, honey. Oh, yeah!

Hey! You can't come in here.

Emmy!

Mine's bigger than yours is!

When can we get that damned water turned off?

Oh, shit.

Go!

Just shoot him!

- Jonathan. You saved me. - Oh, it's nothing, really.

- I'm alive. - What?

He can see me and I'm still alive!

You are!

Thank you! Thank you.

- You're gonna have to love me forever. - Oh, I always have, I always will.

Get out of the way, doofus! Damn it!

It's a miracle. A miracle!

Ugh!

Stop it! Ugh!

Ugh! Little creep! Stop! Stop touching me!

Ugh! Get away from me!

Please don't touch me! Ugh!

Roxie.

- Jesus, it's the heat! - Hollywood.

Now, this is Emmy.

Mama, put the coins on my eyes, cos I sure don't believe what I am seeing.

There he is. Arrest that man.

- Who's she? - She's who I came for.

She's the dummy!

(Wert) I said, arrest that man!

- Keep your hands off him. - Claire, thank goodness you're here.

Oh, shut up.

BJ, you really screwed up.

- Claire, what are you talkin' about? - When I fired this idiot the other day,

I replaced him with a fancy camera surveillance system.

I have Richards and this moron on videotape.

I was sure you were behind this. You... you greedy snake!

Claire!

I want those two arrested for breaking and entering and grand theft.

- And I'll get you later for conspiracy. - And you can add kidnapping to that, too.

- Kidnapping? Who? - Me.

- Who are you? - She's the dummy!

This poor man is having a breakdown!

- Get him outta here! - No, no, she's the dummy!

- No! No! - I... Please.

- She's the dummy! - Please don't use force.

Mama! I want my mama!

Mrs Timkin, those video cameras. Did they pick up everything last night?

I only saw what I needed to see!

- Just where did you come from? - Uh, Roxie, you would never understand.

Mm-hm.

Uh, Claire, there must be some arrangement we can make, huh?

Cram it, clown.

- Come on. - Oh, no, boys. Please!

You know, I see executive potential here.

Roxie, you're fired! You'll never work in this town again.

(♪ "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" by Starship)

♪ Lookin' in your eyes

♪ I see a paradise

♪ This world that I found

♪ Is too good to be true

♪ Standing here beside you

♪ Want so much to give you

♪ This love in my heart

♪ That I'm feeling for you

♪ Let 'em say we're crazy

♪ I don't care about that

♪ Put your hand in my hand, baby

♪ Don't ever look back

♪ Let the world around us

♪ Just fall apart

♪ Baby, we can make it if we're heart to heart

♪ And we can build this dream together

♪ Standing strong for ever

♪ Nothing's gonna stop us now

♪ And if this world runs out of lovers

♪ We'll still have each other

♪ Nothing's gonna stop us

♪ Nothing's gonna stop us now

♪ I'm so glad I found you

♪ I'm not gonna lose you

♪ Whatever it takes, I will stay here with you

♪ Take it to the good times

♪ See it through the bad times

♪ Whatever it takes is what I'm gonna do

♪ Let 'em say we're crazy

♪ What do they know?

♪ Put your arms around me, baby

♪ Don't ever let go

♪ Let the world around us just fall apart

♪ Baby, we can make it if we're heart to heart

♪ And we can build this dream together

♪ Standing strong for ever

♪ Nothing's gonna stop us now

♪ And if this world runs out of lovers

♪ We'll still have each other

♪ Nothing's gonna stop us

♪ Nothing's gonna stop us

♪ Ooh, all that I need is you

♪ All that I ever need

♪ And all that I want to do

♪ Is hold you for ever

♪ Ever and ever

♪ And we can build this dream together

♪ Standing strong for ever

♪ Nothing's gonna stop us now

♪ And if this world runs out of lovers

♪ We'll still have each other

♪ Nothing's gonna stop us

- ♪ Nothing's gonna stop us - ♪ We can build this dream together

♪ Standing strong for ever

♪ Nothing's gonna stop us now

- ♪ Nothing's gonna stop us now - ♪ If this world runs out of lovers

♪ We'll still have each other

- ♪ Nothing's gonna stop us - ♪ Oh, no

- ♪ We can build this dream together - ♪ Hey, baby

- ♪ Standing strong for ever - ♪ I know

- ♪ Nothing's gonna stop us now - ♪ Hey, baby

- ♪ Nothing's gonna stop us - ♪ If this world runs out of lovers

- ♪ Hey, baby, whoo-hoo! - ♪ We'll still have each other

- ♪ Nothing' gonna stop us - ♪ Nothing, hey, baby

♪ Nothing's gonna stop us now