Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[sighs] Good morning.

Hi.

You sleep alright?

[groans]

You?

Not really.

Uh, there's more Cokes

and, uh, I could get you a coffee

if you like.

Wanna go for some pancakes or something?

I'm totally starving.

Actually, I already had..

I had one of those, um..

Maybe I should get going anyway.

Gotta take care of some stuff.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[siren wailing]

[upbeat music]

What the hell do you want?

An incredibly complicated and elaborate drink

that takes you about 10 minutes to make.

Then I'd like to complain about how there's

no alcohol in it.

That's our best seller.

You want a, uh, massage

manual release with that?

Maybe later.

- I, uh, I wanted to ask you something. - Yes?

You have any plans for the next month or so?

You mean other than going on auditions

that'll lead nowhere and babysitting drunks?

I wanna do the river swim.

- What river swim? - The river swim.

The one I've been talking about since high school.

The entire length of the lower Hudson.

All the way from Troy to the Verrazano bridge, 150 miles.

- Why? - Just because.

- Just because? - Right.

Y -- you accompany me in a boat, like we talked about.

What do you say?

Not many people have swam the whole river.

Not many people have dug up

Babe Ruth and driven around

with his skeleton in their car either

which was another idea that we had one drunken night.

I know, but I mean it.

I wanna swim the river.

We can leave Monday and be back by the 28th.

Why now?

Why not?

Sarah's not gonna like it.

- Hi. - Hey.

Liz! Hi. You remember Paul.

Sure, you're a financial writer or something.

Or something, right.

Uh, you waitressed here a couple of summers ago.

Never again.

A sentiment shared by the management.

- I wasn't that bad. - Nor were you any good.

You're actually a teacher, right?

Yeah.

For retarded kids or something.

No. Regular ones.

Don't know where I got that.

May I have a very strong

vodka and soda please, Jeff?

One alcoholic's special, comin' up.

So, what are you boys up to tonight?

Talking about 19 year old girls

with big tits or something?

Maybe. What's it to you?

Actually, it looks like we're going

on a swimming trip.

A swimming trip?

- Thank you. - Yeah.

Paul's gonna swim the entire length of the Hudson River.

Why would you do that?

Uh, why do people climb Everest?

Most people don't.

I didn't realize you were a big time swimmer.

I'm not, it's just an idea I had long ago

and it's just kinda stayed with me

to swim all the way down the river.

To where it meets the ocean.

Don't you think you'd get a little pooped?

I don't swim it all at once.

It's more, uh, psychological

challenge than a physical one.

Anyone could do it if they wanted to.

Totally eccentric, I like it.

Then come with us.

[chuckles] Right, right.

Really, or just go instead of me.

Come on, you're asking me to take

a couple weeks off and drive a boat

slowly down the Hudson River

while you're in the water all day?

If she wants to come, thank God.

It'll give me someone to make fun of you

with to pass the time.

Well, I don't want to interfere if it's gonna..

If it's some sort of male bonding thing.

Please, if we were any more bonded

we'd be sixty-nining each other.

- You should come with us. - I actually could come.

I don't start school till after Labor Day.

We could spend a night at my mom's house

in Rhinebeck along the way if you want.

- Free beds. - See? She's from the Hudson Valley too!

She's one of us!

I'm not sure.

What kind of bathing suits do you have?

'Cause we usually wear a two-piece.

[laughs]

I don't think it'd be very much fun.

- It might be. - I don't know.

You finally take some time off --

I think it's really important

to him for some reason.

So you and Paul get to spend three weeks

alone together and I get to sit here all by myself.

Liz is coming with us too.

The girl from the bar?

- Are you kidding me? - She wants to come.

What, is Paul sleeping with her or something?

No.

- Are you? - No.

Then why is she coming?

Just for fun.

Why didn't you ask me if I wanted to come?

- Do you? - No, it's stupid.

Then don't come.

Fuck you.

Right.

- What? - Hm? Nothin'.

What?

Nothing.

Because I feel like getting out of the city, I..

Neither of them.

No.

I'll, uh, I'll call you

when we get close.

Three weeks or so.

Yeah, yeah, I guess it is a three-week vacation

if you want to call it that.

[vibrating]

[doorbell buzzing]

[instrumental music]

Yeah, we'll probably get there around about 1:00

we can drop off the car, head

down to the waterfront and find a boat.

You're really gonna buy a boat?

Yeah, it's easier than trying to rent one.

We'll get a used one or something.

What are you gonna do with it when we get to the city?

I don't know, try to sell it or something, I guess.

How much do boats cost?

Not sure. Don't worry about it.

I didn't realize I was traveling with John D. Rockefeller here.

[music continues]

Which way to the boatyard?

- Can I help you? - We're lookin' to buy a boat.

Well, ya sure can't have one for free.

[laughing]

[coughing]

[spews] What kind of boat?

- What? - What kind of boat are you lookin' for?

Oh, uh, the smallest one you got.

Like a canoe?

- A motorboat. - With a weak motor.

- A weak motor? - Weakest one you got.

He's gonna swim down the river to the city

and we need to ride next to him.

So, just, you know, any -- anything

that can putter along --

You're swimming to New York City?

Yep.

Is it some sort of charity type of thing?

Or, or a dollar-a-mile or something?

- Not really. - Hm.

Well, I got an old whaler

with an old 70-horsepower engine.

Couldn't outrun a turtle.

[coughs]

Twenty-four hundred bucks.

Sounds reasonable.

Yeah, I believe that's

the going rate for old boats

with weak engines.

You folks done much boating before?

[coughing]

Mm...I have!

I went to summer camp on Lake George

and, we had water-skiing, we..

Uh, sometimes they let us steer the boat.

Well, this boat couldn't pull a turtle

much less a skier.

What's with the turtles?

Piloting a boat is a lot different

from driving a car.

But it, um, starts with a key, right?

Yeah.

But it's got no brakes, for starters.

Neither did my last car. I think we'll be fine.

How do I look?

Like a total dick.

What'd that getup run ya?

Eh, not much.

- I bought it used. - Ew.

Let's head up to the very beginning of the river.

To the dam where the first lock is.

We'll start from there.

[motor whirring]

[exhales]

Okay, then.

Don't drink the water.

Damn it!

What?

- It's freezing! - Really?

Isn't it, uh, your, like your thing?

Doesn't your thing keep you warm?

What thing?

Your o -- outfit.

You know what? I think it's broken.

I'm getting out, it's too cold.

Bullshit you're getting out!

Get used to it and start swimming.

- It's freezing! - Your idea, pal.

We didn't come all this way

to get jerked around, so tuck your cock

in your ass and get movin'.

[motor starts]

[instrumental music]

♪ Salvador Sanchez ♪

♪ Arrived and vanished ♪

♪ Only 23 ♪

♪ With so much speed ♪

♪ Owning the highway ♪

[music continues]

♪ Mexico City ♪

♪ Had so many ♪

♪ But none quite like him ♪

♪ Sweet warrior ♪

♪ Pure magic matador ♪

[music continues]

♪ Pancho Villa ♪

♪ Would never rest ♪

♪ Till 1925 ♪

♪ He closed his eyes ♪

♪ Till Manila stars would rise ♪♪

[music continues]

[panting]

Maybe you should stop for the day.

You think so?

Yes.

Okay.

Thanks.

How much ground do you think we covered?

Maybe three miles?

It's not enough.

It's only the first day.

Plus we got a late start, so..

Gotta do better tomorrow.

Maybe you could smoke in the water.

Save time on the smoking breaks.

The cigarettes will get wet.

Not if you smoke the waterproof cigarettes.

They're all the rage with the kids today.

- You guys are weird. - What do ya mean, "You guys?"

He's the one that wants to swim all day.

I don't wanna swim all day.

I want to swim the Hudson, there's a difference.

It's not like I'm going back and forth

in a pool all day like Stevie Brennan.

[chuckles]

He was a mentally retarded boy we went to school with.

- Autistic. - Whatever.

That young man gave one hell of a blowjob.

Hmm.. You guys are truly demented.

I don't know what you mean by that.

Now, let's head back to shore

so I can get a high colonic

and a bite to eat.

[instrumental music]

It's okay.

[music continues]

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

[sighs]

It's okay.

[music continues]

[motor whirring]

I haven't had sex in a year.

No?

You should get married then.

I have sex, like, uh, God

almost six times a year.

It's hard to keep up.

- What's that about? - I don't know.

Marriage, I guess.

Lots of little resentments.

You're single, you ought to be

having sex all the time. Get it while you can.

- You know? - I guess.

So, what's this, "Haven't had sex for a year" business?

A girl like you should be getting some serious dick action.

Yeah, I don't know.

I -- I think I've had too many lovers already.

- Too many lovers? - Yeah.

Not too much sex.

But too many lovers.

Paul! Hey, Paull!

You think you've slept with too many women in your life?

- "Too many?" - Yeah!

Have you had too many lovers?

Oh, yeah.

Way too many.

Wish I could turn back the clock!

Where do I sign up for the too many lovers program?

You don't understand.

Yeah, apparently.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[crickets chirping]

[sighs] I haven't slept in a sleeping bag

since camp.

Inside a teepee.

The famous camp.

Water-skiing..

...teepees.

[sighs] I wish I could go to camp now.

It was fun.

It had all sorts of old-school activities.

Archery, water polo, capture the flag.

Oh!

I would love to play water polo.

Paul, how much would you pay

to play a real game of water polo?

Ten bucks?

Wrong, 50 bucks.

Wow!

Water polo.

What didn't they have at that camp?

Adequate adult supervision.

It was great.

Any lesbian experimentation goin' on?

A little.

Why're you swimming down the river, Paul?

It's a charity stunt.

Why's it so important to get there by August 28th?

He has Yankee tickets that night.

You don't remember what the 28th is?

If you're talking about the day

you came out to me

I'm pretty sure that, that was

the spring of senior year

and we never really celebrate that.

This stuff never stops, does it?

Nope, the older I get

the more immature I get.

It's an odd phenomenon.

It's not one I claim to understand.

Enough about me.

What's, uh, what's the deal with the 28th?

Amy's anniversary.

August 28th is the fifth anniversary of her death.

To prepare for the occasion, I thought

I'd do something interesting.

Something unique to distinguish myself

in some small way before I go.

Go where?

It's been five years.

- Motherfucker! - What?

What?

Jeff!

[crickets chirping]

What's happening? What..

What was that about?

He's gonna kill himself when we finish the swim.

What's going on here? What're --

When Amy was killed, Paul was a wreck.

He was completely destroyed.

Um, one night, after not being able to reach him for

a couple days, I went over to their apartment

to see how he was and when I got there

the door was open and there was a suicide note

on the desk.

And I remember, we hung out on his roof sometimes

so I run up there, and there he was

on the edge of the roof..

...about to jump.

- Jesus. - Yeah.

But I start talking to him.

We start talking and I'm trying

to convince him that he will feel better sometime.

Amy had just died, uh, three months earlier

and he just had to give it some time.

And I told him to think about the people

that care about him.

And what about our friendship?

That kind of thing.

And I give him reason after reason not to do it

not the least of which is my car's parked below.

- I don't want him to land on it. - Really?

No, but I did say that at one point

and he actually laughed, I got a laugh out of him

in spite of everything and, um..

...just kept him talkin'.

Finally, after what seems like an hour

uh, I say, "I'll tell you what..

"...you absolutely have to give this more time.

"Give it five years..

"...and if at the end of those five years

"you still wanna die

"I promise not only..

"...not to interfere, I'll kick in for a pack

"of razor blades and I'll give a eulogy

"at your funeral, telling 'em you did

"the right thing for you, and I'll defend

your decision to anybody who has a problem with it."

But he didn't wanna wait five years.

He didn't wanna wait five minutes.

Thing is, he would've asked for the exact same thing

if the situation was reversed to give it

more time, and when he realized that

I knew I had him.

I knew he wasn't gonna jump.

We actually shook hands on it

and he seemed to gradually get better..

...and after a couple of years

uh, I put it in the back of my mind

and, uh... kinda forgot about it.

Until about two minutes ago.

So, it's five years later and, uh..

...the time's actually here..

...and he still wants to die.

[crickets chirping]

[train horn blaring]

Oh.

[chuckles]

Hi.

Hi.

Good morning.

Where'd you get that?

From a little store up there.

I got one for Jeff too and a Coke for you.

Oh. Perfect.

Thank you.

[chuckles] I also found out

we're camping on private property.

Well, we're private people.

[sighs]

[sighs]

Rise and shine, captain. We got swimming to do.

The missus brought you some coffee.

Really?

Fantastic.

Need to do six miles today at least.

You guys up for that?

Considering all we have to do is sit in the boat

drinkin' Mai Tais while you do the actual swimming

I'd say, um..

Yeah, I think we can swing it.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

I mean, I, I can't believe we're just

we're -- we're just gonna g -- go along like this.

What would you prefer we do?

Stop the trip. Take him to a hospital.

Get him committed or something.

If we stop the trip and say

"No, we're not going along with this."

What's that gonna accomplish?

He wants to kill himself, he'll find a way.

Maybe sooner rather than later.

You guys talking about me?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Please don't!

Okay, we'll chat about the weather instead.

- Pretty nice day, huh? - Yeah, how's the water?

Not as bad as yesterday.

Ah, probably getting used to it.

Probably.

Water's always freezing when you first get in.

Ain't that the truth.

Well, keep on truckin'.

Will do, buddy!

I don't know what the hell to do, okay?

I don't know what to do.

If he kills himself..

...maybe he'll leave me his television.

It's got a huge screen.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

What's he swimming for?

Just for fun.

Don't know how clean the water is.

There's a freshwater lake a few miles inland.

I don't think pollution's a top priority of his.

Let's get some hot dogs.

Damn it!

Alright.

Put that around there.

We're lookin' for hot dogs.

- I don't have any. - Fair enough.

Anybody know where we can get something to eat?

Town's about a quarter-mile down the road.

Perry's has hot dogs.

- No, they don't. - Yeah, they do.

They're just not on the menu.

Yeah, you have to ask for 'em.

- Bullshit! - It's true.

You just have to ask for 'em.

- Who told you that? - Nobody told me.

- I just know. - Don't worry.

We'll get to the bottom of it.

Knock some heads together if we have to.

Mm-hm.

Will you keep an eye on her for me?

Mm. Mm!

I saw this thing on TV once

a special about the death penalty

and they were talking, uh, about prisoners

last meals and this, this chaplain was saying

in his 30 years at Sing Sing

never once did he see a prisoner actually

eat his last meal, they always ended up

giving it to the other prisoners.

We'll be passing Sing Sing.

I know. That's why I mentioned it.

Why did you mention it?

Well, ho -- how can you be eating so happily

if you know you're gonna die soon?

Mm, well..

A, this isn't my last meal..

...B, I'm hungry and C, I love food.

Okay, good!

You love food.

That, isn't that one reason not to kill yourself

right there, I mean, not to mention the millions

of other reasons, I mean, you were like a little kid

when we got those donuts on the drive up.

I'm sure they'll have donuts in heaven.

- What? - I'm sure they'll have donuts in heaven.

- They have donuts in heaven. - Right.

I mean, if one believes in the concept of heaven

as a paradise, not really a stretch

to believe they have donuts there.

Well, A, even if they do have donuts in heaven

and I -- I can't believe I'm actually discussing

these issues seriously, what about B

which is the fact that most people don't believe

suicides go to heaven. They go to hell.

I don't believe in hell, or that suicides

would necessarily end up there.

I'm not saying I believe that either

but I'm certainly not sure there's a heaven.

Me neither.

Yet you're sure there's donuts there

if it does exist?

Willing to find out.

Paul, you've got to get some therapy

you can't just, like --

I tried therapy, Liz.

All kinds.

Groups, Prozac, Zoloft.

I tried praying and then..

...one day, I just stopped.

Why?

Because Amy and the baby were still dead.

Okay, I understand that.

But that, that, that, ugh, doesn't mean

that you can't find a way to go on somehow.

Lots of people have, have suffered terrible tragedies

and horrific losses and, and continued

with their lives. They found a way to go on.

Not all of them, some of them killed themselves.

But most do go on, Paul! They find a way!

Maybe they were stronger than me

but it was their choice to go on

not someone else's.

I'm sorry but, but like, grief or despair

or whatever, is, is, is just not a good reason

to -- to -- to kill, to commit suicide. It's just not!

Not a good enough reason for you, you mean.

It's not a good enough reason for anyone!

It's selfish to kill yourself.

It's a -- a hostile act.

I don't have any siblings, my parents are dead

and...my wife and child are dead

so why can't I join my family?

What about Jeff? What about your other friends?

Why should I be forced to stay alive for them?

I wouldn't stop Jeff from killing himself

if that's truly what he wanted to do.

You wanna kill yourself, it's your absolute right.

Thanks.

But who would drive the boat?

Good point. Hang in there, buddy.

Things will start looking up.

You're an asshole.

And you're an idiot.

What'd I do?

[birds chirping]

[train horn blaring]

I'm pretty sure slack tide means it's like..

...slack, it's calm.

It's not moving either way.

Remember the Hudson is an estuary

where the water flows in then flows out.

Right, so ideally you want to be swimming

at ebb tide, right?

Maximum ebb, best of all, where you'd be just

coasting along practically.

I know, so why was I fighting tides

half the morning?

I don't know how to read the chart.

[footsteps approaching]

We were beginning to think you killed yourself.

You okay?

Went window shopping.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

I'm cold and sore and everything aches.

What do you care? You'll be dead soon anyway.

[music continues]

[rain pattering]

Cigarettes don't help with your circulation.

What do I care? I'll be dead soon anyway.

Douche.

Maybe you should take tomorrow off.

Rest a day, we could, uh..

I don't know... take a factory tour

or something. See where plastic's made.

Can't fall behind.

Then we'll motor down the river for a few miles

at the end of the day and nobody'll know

the difference.

I'll know the difference.

I wanna do this right.

I'd like to accomplish this one thing in my life.

I wanna actually do something instead

of just talking about doing things

know what I mean?

[pattering continues]

Let's get a milkshake.

This guy really didn't get enough time in the mixer.

Neither of them, mom.

Right.

Yes.

Maybe tomorrow.. When, when are we getting there?

When do you think we'll get there?

Uh, hard to say.

We'll be there tomorrow afternoon.

- Probably tomorrow. - I wanna do 10 miles tomorrow.

- No. - Okay.

I'm serious. I wanna do 10 miles.

I heard you the first time.

Neither of them, mom. Okay?

Uh, uh, sometime tomorrow afternoon, probably?

Will Pasthule be there?

I'm just asking.

Suzanne?

Alright, well, we'll all have dinner.

Okay. Oh, okay.

Okay!

Bye.

[sighs]

All set. She's looking forward to it.

Faggots!

[crickets chirping]

[squawking]

Good morning.

Hi, did you sleep okay?

Yeah.

We need to get going. The current's really moving.

Maximum ebb, people, let's go while we got it!

[whispering] He's out of his mind.

No kidding. And we're going right along with it.

I made him a promise.

You don't have to honor it.

Says who? You?

What good is giving your word to a friend

if you don't plan on keeping it?

[insect buzzing]

Shit!

You alright?

Just swimming down the river.

What do you mean?

Swimming down to the Verrazano Bridge.

Verrazano Bridge?

It's like 90 miles.

Not all at once. You know, day by day.

Everything okay?

Everything okay here?

I'm fine. Really.

He wants to swim the entire river

it's one of those, uh

endurance things, kind of like that

Iditarod Dog Sled Race they have in Alaska.

Except there's no other racers.

Right.

You got a permit for this?

No.

Do I need one?

Just be careful, okay?

Thank you.

You know what we're eating tonight?

Nope.

My aunt will be making dinner.

[chuckles] There'll be an aunt there?

Yep. My cousin also. The whole gang.

You -- you don't sound too enthused, you..

You sure you wanna do this?

We can always stay at a motel if you want.

We'll be fine.

[thuds]

Fuck me!

What are the chances your mother will have homemade

sticky buns waiting for us at the house?

Near zero.

- What are the chances your stepfather will -- - Mother's boyfriend!

What are the chances your mother's boyfriend

will commit homosexual rape upon my person?

[car horn honking]

Your taxi is here!

Hi, mom.

Now, that one was built by a prosperous Dutch merchant

in the 1800s.

Made an absolute fortune in imports.

Unfortunately, his grandson frittered it all away

and it had to be sold a few years back.

- That's too bad. - Yes, a shame.

You used to play with his grandson, Liz, do you remember?

We used to smoke pot by the river in high school

if that's what you mean.

Oh, don't be sassy.

And what about you, Seth?

What does your family do?

- Jeff. - What?

- Jeff. - Jeff. Forgive me, Jeff.

So what does your family do?

My mother's a college professor, retired

and my father is a physician.

Oh, a doctor.

That must have come in handy when you got the flu.

Huh, actually, he was the kind of guy

who was so wrapped up in his work and research

and whatever else, you'd be walking around the house

with a bloody stump and he wouldn't notice.

My aunt had a leg amputated

and believe me, Jeff, you'd notice.

Right, I mean, he probably would've noticed something

like that.

- And what do you do? - Actor.

Bartender.

Et vous?

Et vous?

Hey, hello.

What's your background?

My father was a lawyer.

My mother was a homemaker.

They both died.

Oh, Lord!

- Plane crash? - No, no.

Cancer, natural causes.

They both had good lives.

Thank goodness for small favors, huh?

- Yeah. - That house is amazing.

The Williams.

More divorce and alcoholism in that family

than I care to discuss.

Troubled family, huh?

I don't wanna discuss it. Please.

The youngest is in jail, if you can believe it

and the middle one is a...a gay.

Aw, look at that one.

- That is huge! - The Vanderhooks.

Their money came from the railroads.

They had nine children.

Seven.

Well, I never counted.

Mostly boys, it seemed.

And poor Emily, oh, she died

so tragically young.

Not that the father seemed to mind

no, he had a new wife by the end of the year.

She couldn't have been a day over 21.

She did not wear a bra.

[Liz chuckles]

You think that's funny?

Not wearing a bra is, ha-ha, funny?

No, not the lack of bra in and of itself, no.

Well, let me tell you, there was nothing funny

about it.

Teenage wife prancing around in front

of 12 boys with no bra on all day.

[crickets chirping]

So when does school start, dear?

The Wednesday after Labor Day.

I heard they were making the children

in New York City start school in August

these days because they were so hopelessly

behind in their studies.

- It's not true. - Oh?

Do you think they should start in August?

Or even July?

Right, 'cause she's really gonna be in favor

of teaching all summer.

[clears throat] Paul, we never did get

to what it is you do.

Oh, that is, when you're not swimming

the Amazon or crossing the Great Plains.

I've, uh, been writing for a business magazine.

Mostly personal investments, uh

money markets IRAS, uh, that kind of thing.

- That sounds like a drag. - Suzanne.

No, actually, she's right.

It's.. It isn't fun.

Well, maybe this little vacation

will re-energize you, and you can go back

to work with a whole new attitude.

Not that I would want to write a financial column.

Or even read one.

I'm not going back to work.

No?

Oh, well, what's next?

Riding a bicycle to the Yukon?

Uh..

...nothing, really.

- Nothing? - Not really.

People don't just do nothing, Paul.

You have to do something.

Well, actually, if you really wanna know

I'm gonna kill myself.

[chuckles]

He's joking, he's..

These guys have a real deadpan sense of humor.

- Bedpan? - Deadpan.

Bedpan too.

Oh, I'm, I'm not joking, but if you'd rather

not discuss it, which is more than fine

with me, let's not.

Please, let's do.

[stammering]

What is all this nonsense about killing yourself?

- Why? - Because I've lived my life.

Uh-huh. You're all of 21 years old.

I'm 35 actually.

Well, I don't care if you're 36

it's still a poor reason to commit suicide.

She's right, Paul.

Suicide is not the answer to anything.

[chuckles] Particularly growing older.

If it was, we'd all be dead.

[laughing]

Look, I'm...way over 21 and you don't see me

committing suicide.

I'm no spring chicken either and I'm still here.

You know what, I'm, I'm sorry I brought this up.

I'm sorry.

Good luck closing that barn door.

It actually was a joke, okay?

I'm not gonna kill myself.

I -- I -- I'm sorry I said that.

I'm sorry, um, I, I was just making conversation.

I do not like those boys.

Which one are you dating?

I'm not dating either of them, mom.

I just hate to see you throw yourself

into the arms of the first man

who smiles at you just because you're getting older.

Do yourself a favor.

Forget about marriage and children

it's not worth the sacrifice.

- Thanks. - Oh, stop with that.

You know what I'm saying.

You gotta look out for number one

which is you.

Not some man.

I'll tell you something.

I don't give Pasthule a thing

until I got my... you know..

I really don't wanna discuss this.

Uh, yeah, I think she does

some good work with the right roles.

I didn't say she was better than you.

Just she does what she does.

[doorknob rattles]

And, no, I don't think she's prettier than you.

Well, yeah, she's younger, I mean, that's just a fact.

Right.

No, she's not.

We'll talk about this when I get home, okay?

Yes, I -- I gotta get off the phone.

'Cause it's not polite to talk for an hour

on the phone at someone's house.

Yeah, whatever, 20 minutes.

Yes, definitely.

Uh, no, nothing's wrong.

I don't know what you perceive in my voice

but everything's fine.

I'll call you soon.

Bye.

High maintenance!

So you're an actor, huh?

Have I seen you in anything?

Other than the dining room during dinner?

I doubt it.

Unless you happened to have been living

in the Phoenix-Scottsdale area a few years back

where you would certainly recognize me

from the Lem's auto insurance ad

as the poor bastard who slams his car

into a hearse. It ran all the time.

Think I missed that one.

Well, I have it on tape. Be happy to send it to you.

I could even autograph the, uh...tape sleeve.

You know that self-deprecating humor

is usually used as a defense mechanism

for those with actual low self-esteem, right?

That would be me.

Which doesn't mean it isn't funny.

Thanks.

But what I'm really good at..

...is bartending.

Well, someone's gotta make the drinks, huh?

Yeah, I guess so.

So, uh..

What do you study in college?

Actually, I'm a drama major.

[chuckles] Another actor.

No, I'm just kidding.

- I'm pre-med. - Really?

So you want to be a doctor?

No. I'm fuckin' with you.

I'm just a regular, liberal arts

nothing-special

no-real-skills-learned major.

You'll make a great temp someday.

Thank you.

So, um..

...your friend in there..

...he sounded serious about

wanting to kill himself.

He is.

Hm, interesting.

It's his life.

You think so?

No, it's your life.

Let's take a walk.

Where to?

I don't know.

I'm gonna go for a walk.

Come join me if you'd like.

And that's when I knew right then and there

that I could never eat another tomato.

[laughing]

[door slams]

She's not on the porch.

Tell her she'll just have to walk home.

Oh, dear, I'm not gonna tell her anything.

I'm going to bed.

Why don't you pin a note to Pasthule's shirt?

- Nice meeting you, Paul. - Uh, goodnight.

Goodnight, Aunt Karen. We'll tell Suzanne you left.

Nah, let her figure it out the hard way.

[whispers] Let's roll him for his billfold.

If only he had one.

[whispers] God, I'm sorry

I brought you here.

I'm sorry I brought me here.

- Why? - My family's weird.

All families are weird.

Do you miss yours?

Of course.

Were they good to you?

[whispers] Amy was great.

And the baby, well..

Um, I wasn't, I wasn't talking about..

I was talking about your parents.

- Well, I'm sorry. - Oh, no.

Of course.

I miss them too.

[crickets chirping]

[breathing heavily]

[Jeff chuckles]

I want you to taste me.

I want you to taste me, then I want you to fuck me.

Wanna taste me? Do you wanna fuck me?

[moaning]

Taste me.

[breathing heavily]

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[Paul sighs]

Hi.

Good morning.

[chuckles]

Wow.

Hm.

[sighs]

Ugh!

[exhales]

What time is it?

Um, almost 11:00.

Really?

Yeah.

We should get going.

You think there's any Cokes in the house?

- Probably Pepsi. - Pepsi?

What kind of flophouse is your mother

running here?

Oh.

Bonjour.

- I'm such an idiot! - Yep.

How was it?

She's kinda nutty.

In a good way or a bad way?

A little of both.

Was our absence remarked upon?

Pasthule went nuts.

Is that that guy's name?

[chuckles] I don't know.

Yeah, he nodded off.

Mom went to bed, the aunt went home.

- And what'd you guys do? - Nothing.

Just went to bed.

You're really going back into that water

and swim all the way to New York?

Or are you just gooing on me.

- Goofing. - What?

The word you mean, it's -- it's goofing.

Oh, who cares what the word is, dear?

I'm asking him a question.

Yes, I'm gonna swim all the way to New York.

What do you do when you finish?

Look for a new job, I guess.

There you go!

Can't hurt to see, what's out there now, can it?

Nope.

Keep my options open.

Ah, there's Renny Van Cort.

The sorrow that man has known..

Wish I could've grabbed a shower this morning.

[instrumental music]

♪ There's my favorite ♪

♪ Roller coaster ♪

♪ Next to ♪

♪ The blue water ♪

[music continues]

♪ There's the sun ♪

♪ Goin' down ♪

♪ Creating that ♪

♪ Fluorescent glow ♪

♪ Reminding me ♪

♪ I'll never be able ♪

[music continues]

♪ To relive this day ♪

♪ Except in memory ♪

[music continues]

♪ There's those big ♪

♪ Barking fish ♪

♪ In the concrete stream ♪

[music continues]

♪ Where's dad? ♪

♪ And where is mom? ♪

♪ Looks like from here on out ♪

♪ It's me and you ♪

♪ Looks like from here on out ♪

♪ It's just me and you ♪♪

[whispering] Can I sleep with you tonight?

Tie our sleeping bags together or something?

What are we gonna tell him?

Don't worry, I, I know how to handle it.

Liz and I are shacking up tonight, you're on your own.

When did this develop? I wasn't on the phone that long.

Last night.

Christ!

It was one big orgy back at the house, huh?

She knows, I can hear it in her voice, she knows.

Cannot believe you slept with Suzanne.

She's 20 years old.

I didn't find that part to be a problem.

What are you gonna do?

I might not go home.

What?

I might not go home.

I'm tired of living like this.

Oh, man. Oh..

I feel so drained.

And I do not want to do this anymore.

But you need to.

- What? - Make it work somehow.

It's not impossible.

You could have a future. A child.

You just need to hang in there and make it work.

You're giving me advice?

Yeah.

What are you gonna do?

I don't know.

Keep swimming, I guess.

[thunder rumbling]

It's a rainout!

Let's go get some breakfast.

Take in a movie or something.

Maybe it'll clear up later.

No, no, no, no. Look at the current.

We can make excellent time.

Are you kidding?

What, the rain? Who cares?

The people who normally stay dry

on this swimming trip, genius.

It may not matter to you in the water

but I'll take a dildo in my ass-pussy

before I sit on a boat going two miles an hour

while it's raining.

Let's go.

No.

We're gonna wait till it clears up.

If you guys don't want to, that's fine.

But I wanna reach New York by August 28th

so I'm swimming.

You can meet me downriver later.

[rain pattering]

[instrumental music]

[thunder rumbling]

You know

it actually feels ...kinda warmer.

Ahh!

[music continues]

What are you doing?

Stop it! Stop it!

[gasping]

[music continues]

[gasping]

Hey.

The library in this town sucks.

They have, like, two books and a newspaper.

What are you doing?

Is it true if you cut a worm in half

you get two worms?

I think you get three.

How's he doing?

[music continues]

[sniffles]

Hey, sorry about that, uh, you know

that whole attempted murder thing this morning

but I'm over it.

[music continues]

It's amazing here.

It's really, it's amazing here!

I was on Staten Island once near this big dump

where I saw these huge rats fighting

with these seagulls over the rancid garbage.

Let me tell you..

...this definitely beats that.

Have you ever seen such a lovely sight?

Not in a long time.

There's...there's so -- so much

more beauty in the world too, you know?

There's..

...there's visual, artistic..

...emotional..

...love.

[sniffles]

[crickets chirping]

I can't believe we don't have any weenies to roast.

Or marshmallows.

We could throw Paul on the fire.

Watch him jump out so fast it'll make our heads spin.

So, how are you planning on killing yourself?

You don't live in that tall building anymore.

I'm not sure, really. Maybe a gun.

We're not gun people.

You're not gonna shoot yourself.

You don't understand.

Help me understand.

It's not your fault, Liz

and it's, it's not your responsibility to try

and save me, please.

Look after your own lives, guys, not mine.

Well, here's the problem, butt-plug..

You're a part of my life, an important part of it

and you've become a part of Liz's life too, so

uh, we are worrying about our own lives. Got it?

Look, I'm not asking you to agree with me on this

or anything, I'm just..

...asking you to respect my wishes.

We all have to die sometime, so what's wrong

in choosing how and when we die ourselves?

If -- if I were a quadriplegic with

burns over 90% of my body

you -- you wouldn't try and make me

stay alive, would you?

But you're not even close

to being like that. You're fine.

I'm not fine at all!

Nobody's saying emotional suffering

isn't valid, Paul. It, it..

B -- because it is. It -- it --it..

And clearly you're not fine

but the -- the difference between

a quadriplegic and you is that

you can heal someday.

That's your opinion.

No, Paul, it's a fact

whether you think it is or not.

People can and do heal

from emotional pain.

And I'm sick of you saying it's hopeless.

You want us to let you die?

You want us to drive this boat

down the river for you? Then make us a promise.

And that is to at least consider

the possibility that you still

haven't given this enough time.

That you could be wrong about everything.

[instrumental music]

What was he like as a kid?

He was shorter.

He was unusual, actually.

Um, one part of him was confident, fun

adventurous.

Then there was always this other side

for as long as I can remember

this vulnerability, this, uh..

...fragile part of him.

Good ol' Indian point.

Hey, wanna get a move-along there?

Uh, we wanna get past these things.

I'm no Mark Spitz here..

...or Stevie Brennan for that matter!

Is it true the water's warmer near these plants

'cause of the crap they discharge in the river?

No, it's freezing!

Should be in Hasting soon.

We can crash at my parents'

'cause they're in Nantucket

for the summer... at their other house

that they can afford 'cause they worked hard

and made the right choices in life, while I didn't

and therefore live in a small

no-AC apartment.

But..

Whatever.

[instrumental music]

One should always carry a set of keys

to their parents house, is my life philosophy.

Think your mother still keeps Nestle's Quik around?

I know she does. Nilla wafers, too.

- Jackpot! - Nice house.

Yes.

Welcome to my former home.

Wish I had appreciated it more at the time.

[insects chirping]

[bug zapper crackling]

[bug zapper crackling]

[sighs]

[chuckles softly]

[moans lightly]

[both breathing heavily]

[whispering] Don't leave us.

Don't leave us, Paul.

Don't leave me.

You're so lovely.

[Liz moans]

[toilet flushes]

That oughta clear things out for a while.

It's nice up here, huh?

Remember how we used to build forts in the woods?

We spent weeks on those things.

I loved building the forts.

[chuckles]

They were so elaborate.

You know, you could stay here for a while if you want.

My parents won't be back till October.

You could just hang around up here

take walks in the woods

eat Nilla wafers

just hang out and relax.

We should get back to the river.

[grunts]

[zipper fastens]

[instrumental music]

[footsteps approaching]

If I find you messing with my dad's gay porn stash

there's gonna be hell to pay.

Liz..

You okay?

He wants to get going.

Mm. I know.

[music continues]

[music continues]

Hey, Amy.

Olivia.

[sobbing]

[no audio]

[music continues]

[tires squealing]

[sobbing]

[whispering] I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

[Paul breathing heavily]

[instrumental music]

♪ Time ♪

♪ All the long red lines ♪

♪ That take control ♪

♪ Of all the smoke-like streams ♪

♪ That flow into your dreams ♪

♪ That big blue open sea ♪

♪ That can't be crossed ♪

♪ That can't be climbed ♪

♪ Just born between ♪

♪ Oh the two white lines ♪

♪ Distant Gods and faded signs ♪

♪ Of all those blinking lights ♪

♪ You had to pick ♪

♪ The one tonight ♪

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

♪ Holes ♪

♪ Dug by little moles ♪

♪ Angry jealous spies ♪

♪ Got telephones for eyes ♪

♪ Come to you as friends ♪

♪ For all those endless ends ♪

♪ That can't be tied ♪

♪ Oh they make me laugh ♪

♪ And always make me cry ♪

♪ Till they drop like flies ♪

♪ And sink like polished stones ♪

♪ Of all the stones I throw ♪

♪ How does that old song go? ♪

♪ How does that old song go? ♪♪

[panting]

Congratulations, man.

- Good work. - Thank you.

Thank you.

Some rough waters at the end there.

[laughs]

Yeah.

Well, you made it through.

Let's get back in the boat, motor over to Chinatown..

...get some celebration dinner. Alright?

Come on, man, my treat.

I'm not getting back in the boat.

What?

I'm not getting back in the boat.

What are you gonna do?

Aw, Jesus, man.

Thank you for everything.

Really.

Paul..

Don't get back in that water!

Do not get back in that water!

Paul, please?

Just get back into the boat.

We'll, we'll just.. We'll go home.

I'm sorry.

Where are you going?

Where the hell are you going?

Paul..

It's okay, Jeff.

It really is.

You've done all you can.

You've been a good friend.

A great one.

Please, keep the deal we made.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

I'm gonna go get him.

If he wants to turn around, he will.

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

♪ Salvador Sanchez ♪

♪ Arrived and vanished ♪

♪ Only 23 ♪

♪ With so much speed ♪

♪ Owning the highway ♪

[music continues]

♪ Mexico City ♪

♪ Bred so many ♪

♪ But none quite like him ♪

♪ Sweet warrior ♪

♪ Pure magic matador ♪

[music continues]

♪ Pancho Villa ♪

♪ Would never rest ♪

♪ Till 1925 ♪

♪ He closed his eyes ♪

♪ Till Manila stars would rise ♪

[music continues]

♪ Gozo of the Philippines ♪

♪ Choirs and angels sing ♪

♪ Ukulele strings ♪

♪ Play for his legend ♪

♪ Italy had a king ♪

[music continues]

♪ Why have they gone ♪

♪ Fell by leather? ♪

♪ All alone ♪

♪ All bound together ♪

[music continues]

♪ Benny Kid Paret ♪

♪ Came a good way ♪

♪ To climb up gray skies ♪

♪ To lift his hands ♪

♪ Was stopped by the better man ♪

[music continues]

♪ Eyes of Los Rios ♪

♪ Cry for suns ♪

♪ Lost on distant shores ♪

♪ Unforeseen horrors ♪

♪ Struck and delivered him ♪

[music continues]

♪ Why have they gone ♪

♪ Fell by leather? ♪

♪ All alone ♪

♪ All bound together ♪

♪ Why have they gone ♪

♪ Fell by leather? ♪

♪ All alone ♪

♪ All bound together ♪♪

[music continues]

[harmonica music]