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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,962 --> 00:00:05,715 Guys! Guys! I've got great news. Guess what. 2 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:08,259 - Uh, Monica's pregnant! - Really? 3 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,805 Let's get past the moment. 4 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,849 - What's your news? - Thank you. 5 00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:17,268 I got a job in advertising. 6 00:00:17,435 --> 00:00:20,479 - Oh, honey, that's incredible! - Wow. 7 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:23,441 Gosh, what's the pay like? 8 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,737 Oh, come on, people. 9 00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,905 If I don't know who makes the most... 10 00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:32,616 ...how do I know who I like the most? Hi, Joey. 11 00:00:35,161 --> 00:00:37,121 It pays nothing. It's an internship. 12 00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:39,206 We have interns at Days of our Lives. 13 00:00:39,415 --> 00:00:42,460 Right. So it'll be the same, except less sex with you. 14 00:00:44,420 --> 00:00:46,589 So, uh, what do you think they'll have you do there? 15 00:00:46,756 --> 00:00:49,925 It's a training program, but they hire the people they like. 16 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:53,095 - That's great! - There's gonna be some grunt work... 17 00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:56,891 ...which will stink. A grown man getting people coffee is humiliating. 18 00:00:59,769 --> 00:01:02,354 Humiliating and noble. 19 00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:05,232 Thank you. 20 00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:09,070 You know, if I didn't already have a job... 21 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,322 ...I would've been good in advertising. 22 00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:14,241 Ross, you did not come up with "got milk?" 23 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,410 Yes, I did! I did! 24 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:21,123 I should've written it down. 25 00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:13,384 - Hey. - Hey. 26 00:02:13,551 --> 00:02:16,804 Where's Chandler? I wanna wish him good luck on his first day. 27 00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:19,473 And I smelled bacon. Ha, ha. 28 00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:22,893 - He just left. - Who did? 29 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,189 Joey, you're never gonna believe it! She called! 30 00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:28,941 - She did'? - You got it! 31 00:02:29,108 --> 00:02:30,776 - I did? - What is she talking about? 32 00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:33,195 I don't know, but it sounds great! 33 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:35,531 No, your agent called. You got that audition! 34 00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,074 - With Leonard Hayes? - Yes! 35 00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:40,953 Oh, my God, that is great! It's for a play on Broadway. 36 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:45,249 And in a real theater. Not that little one underneath the deli like last time. 37 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,084 - Is it a good play'? - It must be. 38 00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:49,420 I read it and didn't understand a single word! 39 00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:53,757 - Leonard Hayes is starring in it. - Yeah, and directing. 40 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:56,427 Oh, he was so good in that movie of Macbeth. 41 00:02:56,635 --> 00:03:00,431 - You saw that? - No, but I saw the previews. 42 00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,641 - They played it right before Jackass. - Ah. 43 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,268 Oh, yeah, yeah. He has. 44 00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:06,395 - He's done some amazing work. - Oh, yeah. 45 00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:08,731 Oh, I loved him in those phone commercials. 46 00:03:08,898 --> 00:03:12,776 When the monkey hits him in the face with the giant rubber phone. Ha-ha-ha. 47 00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:14,904 Maybe the monkey will be at the audition. 48 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,406 Don't make me more nervous than I already am! 49 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,586 - Good morning. - Can I get you a cup of coffee, sir? 50 00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:33,714 Oh, no, no. I'm an intern, just like you guys. 51 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:38,469 Except for the tie, the briefcase and the fact that I can rent a car. 52 00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,471 Seriously, you're an intern? 53 00:03:40,638 --> 00:03:44,183 I'm heading in a new career direction and you gotta start at the bottom. 54 00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:46,644 Dude. 55 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:53,067 I know I'm a little older than you guys, but it's not like I'm Bob Hope. 56 00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:58,113 The comedian. USO. 57 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,617 Uh, it's U.S.A., sir. 58 00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:12,169 This is Joey Tribbiani. Joey, these are the producers. 59 00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:15,297 And as you probably already know, this is Leonard Hayes. 60 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,758 Wow. 61 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:23,847 It is so amazing to meet you. I am such a big fan of your work. 62 00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:27,518 Well, I've been blessed with a lot of great roles. 63 00:04:27,685 --> 00:04:32,856 Tell me about it, huh? "Unlimited nights and weekends!" 64 00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:37,319 Are you making fun of me? Because I am not a sellout. 65 00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:40,197 I didn't do it for money. I believe in those phones! 66 00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:44,743 I almost lost a cousin because of bad wireless service. 67 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:49,081 No, I wasn't making fun of you. I think you were great in those commercials. 68 00:04:49,248 --> 00:04:50,582 - Really? - Yeah. 69 00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:53,836 Well, I do bring a certain credibility to the role. 70 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:55,462 - It's true. - Are you kidding? 71 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,256 When they shoot you out of that cannon... 72 00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:01,302 "Hang up that phone!" 73 00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,178 - One take. - Wow. 74 00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:05,055 Did that in one. I know. 75 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:08,267 - So shall we read? - Oh, yeah, sure. 76 00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:11,812 Top of Act 2. This is my entrance. You got it? 77 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,772 Mm-hm. 78 00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:18,652 What the hell are you still doing here? 79 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,071 Oh. Uh. 80 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,615 - I think you know. - Bastard! 81 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:27,328 I am what you made me. You know what? I could go right now. 82 00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:30,205 - Go! Go! - I can't. 83 00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:34,084 Oh, I want to, Long Pause... 84 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,380 ...but I can't. 85 00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:45,304 I'm so sorry. You're not supposed to say "long pause." 86 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:51,310 Oh! Oh, I thought that was your character's name. You know? 87 00:05:51,477 --> 00:05:54,938 I thought you were, like, an Indian or something, you know, with the... 88 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,857 - Sorry. - Long Pause. 89 00:05:57,024 --> 00:06:00,903 No. Thank you so much for coming in. We appreciate it. Thank you. 90 00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:02,905 Sure you don't want me to do it again? 91 00:06:03,072 --> 00:06:04,698 - I could do it with an accent. - No. 92 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,033 You know, Southern. 93 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,619 "I could go right now, mon!" 94 00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:09,953 Huh? 95 00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,708 My God in heaven. 96 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:20,172 Joey, hang on for a second. Leonard, can we talk to you for a moment? 97 00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:21,382 Yes? 98 00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:25,094 You've gotta be kidding. See, he can't act. 99 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,514 I don't care if you think he's hot. 100 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,725 If you wanna sleep with him, do it on your own time. This is a play. 101 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,729 No, listen, if you insist on this... 102 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,940 ...I will call my agent so fast... 103 00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:42,111 ...on a cell phone connection so clear, he's gonna think I'm next door! 104 00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:48,534 Uh, hi. Uh, thank you so much for whispering for my benefit. 105 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:52,996 If you tell me what I did wrong, I would love to work on it and try it again for you. 106 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,499 And also, how you doing? 107 00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:02,965 Would you please just give me another chance? I really wanna get better. Please? 108 00:07:03,132 --> 00:07:04,174 Really? 109 00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:07,094 Well, if you wanna come back today... 110 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:09,179 - ...here are my notes. Ready? - Yeah. 111 00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:12,141 Um, you're in your head. You're thinking way too much. 112 00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,560 I really doubt that. 113 00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:19,022 No, no, no. It's that you're not connected with anything in your body. 114 00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:21,483 - No urgency. The scene is a struggle. - Uh-huh. 115 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,734 - It's a race. - Uh-huh. 116 00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,154 Also, what you did was horizontal. 117 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,991 - Don't be afraid to explore the vertical. - Uh-huh. 118 00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:33,704 And don't learn the words. Let the words learn you. 119 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,586 Couldn't I just sleep with the producer? 120 00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,800 Hey, do you wanna go to dinner tonight? 121 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:50,554 Oh, I can't. I've got a date with that waitress, Katie. 122 00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:54,141 Yeah, I know we've only gone out, like, twice, but I don't know... 123 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:58,937 - ...I have a good feeling about her. - Oh, I hear divorce bells. 124 00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,982 Give me your wallets, and there won't be a problem. 125 00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,942 - What? - I have a gun. 126 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:07,321 Okay, just relax, Phoebe. Just stay calm. 127 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:11,742 Oh, my God, I can't find my wallet! 128 00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:17,414 - All right, lady, now give me your purse. - No. 129 00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:21,168 What do you mean, "no"? I knew you'd be my death, Phoebe Buffay! 130 00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:25,422 - Lowell, is that you? - Phoebe? 131 00:08:25,631 --> 00:08:30,302 - Oh, my God! - Unbelievable! Oh, my God! Oh! 132 00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:34,932 I'm sorry. Ross, this is my old friend, Lowell, from the streets! Ha, ha. 133 00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,518 - Lowell, Ross. - Ross, nice to meet you. 134 00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:39,853 Yeah, a real pleasure. 135 00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:44,274 - Oh, it's been so long! Oh, so long. - Ha-ha-ha. 136 00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:47,945 - I can't believe you're still doing this. - Ah, I know. But I quit smoking. 137 00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,905 Good for you. 138 00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,782 You look like you're doing well. 139 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,367 I guess your mugging days are behind you. 140 00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:54,618 Oh. 141 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:58,121 Oh, my God. Phoebe, you used to mug people? 142 00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:02,543 Excuse me, Ross, old friends catching up. 143 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:07,798 _H6Y- _H6Y- 144 00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:11,426 - How'd the audition go? - They wanna see me again, but, uh... 145 00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:14,346 ...boy, Leonard Hayes did not like me. 146 00:09:14,513 --> 00:09:18,183 - What happened? - Oh, he said I wasn't urgent enough. 147 00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:23,689 Everything I did was horizontal, and I should be more vertical. 148 00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:28,110 - Oh, and he said that I should think less. - Well, so far so good. 149 00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:32,281 Honey, I'm old! 150 00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:34,658 What's wrong? 151 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:39,997 I am so much older than these other interns. I can't compete with them. 152 00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,707 So you're a little older. 153 00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:44,835 Look at the positive. You have all this life experience. 154 00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:50,591 Yes, but I don't think life experience is gonna help me with these. 155 00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:56,221 Wow! It's like they're on fire! 156 00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:58,181 Ooh. 157 00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,437 - What are they? - Prototype sneakers. 158 00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:06,189 I need ideas on how to sell them. Which I can't do... 159 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:09,151 ...because no self-respecting adult would ever wear these. 160 00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:10,861 I'll give you $500 for them. 161 00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:18,076 - What am I supposed to do? - Come on, sneakers are easy. 162 00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:21,955 - You wear them all the time. - They're not called sneakers anymore. 163 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:28,045 They're called "kicks" or "skids." I think I heard somebody say "slorps." 164 00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:33,342 They've got wheels that pop out from the bottom so you can roll around... 165 00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:36,928 ...because apparently walking is too much exercise. 166 00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:41,475 "Kids! Kids! Roll your way to childhood obesity!" 167 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,479 Would you help me try to sell these? 168 00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:50,734 Okay. Have you considered using a girl with huge knockers? 169 00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,403 That's not what they're looking for. 170 00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:56,156 Hey, that would work on me. 171 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,325 Why do you think I buy Mrs. Butten/vorth's? 172 00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:08,794 - Hey. - Hey. 173 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,338 - Hey. - You'll never guess what just happened. 174 00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:14,174 - Phoebe and I got mugged! - Are you okay? 175 00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,968 Yeah, because Phoebe knew the mugger. 176 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,221 How do you know a mugger? 177 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:23,684 I'm sorry, I have friends outside the six of us. 178 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,978 Know how she knew him? Because Phoebe used to mug people. 179 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,897 Seriously? 180 00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:32,609 Well, I'm not proud of it, but, you know... 181 00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:37,989 ...when I was living on the street and I needed money for food and stuff... 182 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:42,077 - That is awful. - I wasn't rich like you guys, okay? 183 00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:45,789 I didn't eat gold and have a flying pony. 184 00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:50,669 I had a hard life. My mother was killed by a drug dealer. 185 00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:54,005 - Your mother killed herself. - She was a drug dealer. 186 00:11:56,466 --> 00:12:01,430 It was a good thing Phoebe knew him. I was about to do some serious damage. 187 00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,014 Okay. 188 00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:07,686 This must have brought back some bad memories for you, Ross. 189 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,689 - Why? - Well, Ross was mugged as a kid. 190 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:14,151 - You were? - Yeah. And it was pretty traumatic. 191 00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:16,486 It was outside St. Mark's Comics. 192 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:21,658 I was minding my business, seeing what kind of trouble Spider-Man got into. 193 00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:23,910 Ahem, Wonder Woman. Ahem. 194 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,205 Anyway, I was heading towards this bakery... 195 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:30,834 ...to pick up a couple of dozen linzer tortes for someone... 196 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:37,299 ...when out of nowhere, this thug with a pipe jumps out and says: 197 00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,760 - "Give me your money, punk!" - Oh, my God. 198 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,804 I know. And the worst part was they took my backpack... 199 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:48,810 ...which had all the original artwork I had done for my own comic book, Science Boy. 200 00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:52,189 Oh, yeah! What was his superpower again? 201 00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:55,275 A superhuman thirst for knowledge. 202 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,029 I better get to class. 203 00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:02,407 Are there any more of your friends I should look out for on my way? 204 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:05,702 No. Actually, you might wanna stay away from Jane Street. 205 00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:07,412 That's where Stabby Joe works. 206 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:15,378 - Okay, I think we have a problem here. - What? 207 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:20,717 Well, um, back in my mugging days, I, um, worked St. Mark's Comics. 208 00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:23,804 - Yeah? - Well, a pipe was my weapon of choice... 209 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:28,767 ...and, um, preteen comic-book nerds were my meat. 210 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,603 So? 211 00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:35,273 There was one kid who had a sticker on his backpack that said: 212 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,692 "Geology rocks!" 213 00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:44,741 - Oh, my God! - I know! I mugged Ross! 214 00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:53,583 - You're late. - I know. I'm sorry. 215 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,502 But can I just run to the bathroom? 216 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:59,714 - No. Leonard doesn't wait. - But I am bursting with Yoo-hoo! 217 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,593 Joey, here we go! Let's go. Very quickly. 218 00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:06,179 - I really need... - We must go now, quickly. 219 00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:09,432 - Yeah. Yes, sir. Ahh. - Ready? 220 00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:14,187 - What the hell are you still doing here? - I think you know! 221 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:18,942 - Oh, you sick bastard! - I am what you made me! Know what? 222 00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:21,862 - What? - I could go right now. 223 00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:29,911 - Then go. Go! - Oh, I can't. I want to, but I can't! 224 00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:35,292 Cut. That was good! 225 00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:39,004 - Very good. You did everything I asked. - I did? 226 00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:42,757 Yes. Plus which, you've got this, I don't know, this squirmy quality... 227 00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:45,927 ...you bring to the character I couldn't have imagined. 228 00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:47,637 Wow, hey, here's what we're gonna do: 229 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,348 Come back tomorrow for the final callbacks. 230 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:53,643 Do all of this, what you got going now. But you know what? 231 00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,395 More. More. Can you do that? 232 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:59,900 Sure. I don't have time to say thank you because I really gotta go! 233 00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:05,322 Look at that! Still in character. I like him. 234 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:10,285 I plant seeds. I can't explain it. I don't know. 235 00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:17,250 - Hey. What are you doing? - Hey. Putting on the sneakers... 236 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:20,211 ...to get in the young mindset, see if it sparks anything. 237 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:23,089 - Oh, anything yet? - Yes, how's this? 238 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:28,261 "They're so uncomfortable, it's like getting kicked in the nuts for your feet." 239 00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:33,475 - Hey. - Hey. 240 00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:44,527 You're probably wondering what I'm doing. Ha, ha. 241 00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:46,321 No, that seems about right. 242 00:15:47,322 --> 00:15:52,160 Yesterday at my audition, I had to pee. Apparently, that makes me a good actor. 243 00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:54,913 I got a callback, so I'm drinking everything. Oh, by the way... 244 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,832 Mm-hm. - ...that eggnog in our fridge was great! 245 00:15:57,999 --> 00:16:02,587 - Joey, that was formula. - We gotta get more of that. 246 00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:08,885 These aren't half bad. You should suggest these to Ralph Lauren. 247 00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:14,224 Okay, first of all, that's stupid. Second, I'm not allowed to talk to Ralph. 248 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:18,728 All right. I feel younger already. 249 00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:23,942 Yeah, I think I broke my hip. 250 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:27,779 - Hey, you! - Hey. 251 00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:30,532 Hey. How was class? 252 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,451 No one ever asks me that. What's wrong? 253 00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:37,664 - Nothing. I really wanna know. - Oh, uh. 254 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:42,210 Well, there was actually a rather lively discussion about the Pleistocene... 255 00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:44,921 All right, nothing is worth this. 256 00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:48,842 Um, I have a confession to make. Um... 257 00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:52,012 Okay, you know that, um, girl that mugged you when you were a kid? 258 00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:57,892 What are you talking about? It wasn't a girl. It was this huge dude. 259 00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:01,604 You don't have to lie anymore. I know that it was a 14-year-old girl. 260 00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:03,356 - No, it wasn't. - Yes, it was. 261 00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:07,736 No, it wasn't. You don't think I would have defended myself against a 14-year-old...? 262 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:11,656 - "Give me your money, punk!" - Oh, my God, it was you! 263 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:17,120 I can't believe it. You mugged me? 264 00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:21,374 Yeah. And I'm so, so sorry, Ross. I'm sorry. 265 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,252 But, you know, if you think about it, it's kind of neat. 266 00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:30,133 I mean, well, it's just that I've always felt kind of like an outsider. 267 00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:33,845 You know, the rest of you have these connections that go way back... 268 00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:38,641 ...and, you know, now you and I have a great one. 269 00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,603 It's not the best! 270 00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:45,899 I know. Please forgive me. I don't know what to say. 271 00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:49,819 There's nothing you can say! That was the most humiliating thing ever. 272 00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:53,239 - Really? Even more humiliating than... - Let's not do this! 273 00:17:56,326 --> 00:18:00,080 And then, at the end of the commercial, the girls get out of the hot tub... 274 00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,707 ...and start making out with each other. Huh? Huh? Huh? 275 00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:07,295 That's interesting. 276 00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:11,341 Just one thought: You didn't mention the shoes. 277 00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:16,471 - Who's next? Chandler. - Okay. 278 00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:19,474 You start on the image of a guy putting on the shoes. 279 00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:21,684 - He's about my age. - Pfft! Your age? 280 00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,561 Uh-huh. 281 00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:27,273 So he's rolling down the street and he starts to lose control. 282 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,984 Maybe he falls. Maybe he hurts himself. 283 00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:33,863 Just then, a kid comes flying by wearing the shoes. 284 00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:37,659 He jumps over the old guy and laughs. And the line reads: 285 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:40,537 "Not suitable for adults." 286 00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:45,375 - Well, Chandler, that's great. - Oh, thank you, sir. 287 00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:48,545 Or, man who's two years younger than me. 288 00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:54,634 You see, that has a clear selling point. It appeals to our key demographic. 289 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,804 - How did you come up with that? - I don't know! I don't know! 290 00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:03,685 I was just trying to get into a young mindset, and stuff started to flow. 291 00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:08,523 - That is great. Good work. - Thank you. 292 00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,692 We'll see all of you tomorrow. 293 00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:23,621 The cold weather hurts my hip. 294 00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:34,757 Hey, Ross. I know you're still mad at me, but can I just talk to you for a sec? 295 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:38,469 Sure, go ahead. Oh, sorry. Sure, go ahead. 296 00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:42,932 I just really wanted to apologize again. 297 00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:47,937 And also show you something I think you'll find very exciting. 298 00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:52,275 Oh, my God! "Crap from the street!" 299 00:19:57,739 --> 00:20:00,325 Look, Ross. In this box... 300 00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:05,079 ...are all the things I got from mugging that I thought were too special to sell... 301 00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:06,289 ...or smoke. 302 00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:11,753 Anyway, I was looking through it, and I found... 303 00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,214 ...Science Boy. 304 00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:18,760 Oh, my God! 305 00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:23,139 - I never thought I'd see this again. - Yeah. 306 00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:24,349 What...? 307 00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:27,060 It's all here! 308 00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:28,519 - Yeah. - Ha, ha. 309 00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,773 What made you save it all these years? 310 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,442 I guess I just thought it was really good. 311 00:20:34,609 --> 00:20:36,986 And maybe it would be worth something one day. 312 00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:41,324 You really thought Science Boy was worth saving? 313 00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:46,621 Yeah. But you should know I also have a jar of Vaseline and a cat skull in here. 314 00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:52,335 Still, this is amazing! 315 00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,462 Oh, my God. Thank you, Phoebe. 316 00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:59,092 You're welcome. And thank you for Science Boy. I learned a lot from him. 317 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:01,177 You're welcome. 318 00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:07,558 - I need an answer! - I can't tell you something I don't know. 319 00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:09,644 - You know! - I don't know! 320 00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:15,775 - I need an answer now! - You want an answer? The answer is... 321 00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:22,240 Aw... 322 00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:26,077 She never loved me. She only loved you. 323 00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,997 You knew this all along and you never told me? 324 00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:34,252 I can never forgive you, or myself. I have nothing to live for. Bang! And scene! 325 00:21:36,254 --> 00:21:38,506 Absolutely amazing. 326 00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:44,804 - The part is yours. - Thanks! Now I really got to get going. 327 00:21:45,013 --> 00:21:48,933 Wait, wait, wait! Congratulations. You did it. 328 00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:52,937 You did it. You can relax now. Yeah. 329 00:22:05,616 --> 00:22:07,827 Wow! That's a big cable bill. 330 00:22:08,911 --> 00:22:13,875 Ha. You don't have a job, but you have no problem ordering porn. 331 00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:17,086 On a Saturday afternoon? 332 00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:19,797 I was in the house! 333 00:22:22,008 --> 00:22:25,303 Hey, uh, Phoebe didn't by any chance mention that... 334 00:22:25,511 --> 00:22:27,972 She was the huge guy that mugged you? Yeah. 335 00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:31,684 I see. You didn't happen to tell... 336 00:22:31,893 --> 00:22:35,521 - Everybody we know? Yeah. - Great. Thanks. 28178

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