All language subtitles for Growing.Up.Fisher.S01E09_English

- SUNDAY AFTERNOON
AT IKENBERRY,

MOM WENT FOR A DESK,
I WENT FOR AN ICE CREAM CONE,

AND DAD WENT--

WELL, HE WENT 'CAUSE HE'S BLIND
AND HE NEEDED A RIDE HOME.

- LOOKS LIKE WE WON'T HAVE ANY
OF THOSE FLARKENSTIK DESKS IN

FOR THREE WEEKS.

- THAT'S A "FLARKEN" LONG TIME.

AREN'T THEY GUARANTEED
TO BE IN STOCK?

- YES.
NEXT.

- NO, NOT NEXT.
STILL ME.

I PAID FOR THE DESK.

WHEN IT'S GUARANTEED
TO BE IN STOCK,

I THINK IT'S FAIR FOR ME
TO ASSUME

IT'S GOING TO BE IN STOCK.

- HERE'S WHAT I THINK
YOU SHOULD DO.

- UH-HUH.

- GO UP TO THE SECOND FLOOR.
- OKAY.

- BUY A BED,

AND GET UP
ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF IT.

- WOW.
- OKAY.

- YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK
YOU SHOULD DO?

GET A PHONE...

AND USE IT TO CALL ME
THE SECOND THAT DESK GETS IN.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- JOYCE, STEP ASIDE.

- BEING BLIND MADE MY DAD
EXTRA SENSITIVE

TO UNFAIRNESS IN LIFE.

- MEL, I CAN HANDLE IT, OKAY?
- RECEIPT, PLEASE.

- FINE,
JUST DON'T MAKE A SCENE.

- OH, THERE WON'T BE A SCENE

AS LONG AS WE GET
WHAT WE DESERVE.

NAME.
- TRICIA.

- BEING A LAWYER
MADE HIM ARGUMENTATIVE.

- TRICIA, I'M GONNA NEED
TO SPEAK WITH YOUR MANAGER.

- SIR, I CAN HELP YOU.

- CAN YOU GIVE US THE DESK
WE'VE ALREADY PAID FOR?

- NO.
- THEN YOU CAN'T HELP ME.

- PUT THEM TOGETHER,

AND TRICIA
DID NOT STAND A CHANCE.

- BUT YOU DO NOT WANT
TO DEAL WITH THE GUY

THAT I AM ABOUT TO BECOME.

- ANTON.

- ONCE AGAIN, SUPERMAN SWOOPS IN
AND FIXES EVERYTHING.

- PROBABLY ONE OF THE REASONS
LOIS LANE DIVORCED HIM.

- I DON'T THINK
THEY WERE EVER MARRIED.

- I DON'T THINK
YOU'RE PICKING UP

WHAT I'M PUTTING DOWN.

- * LET'S TELL THE WORLD

* ALL THE THINGS
WE'VE DONE *

* PLACES WE'VE BEEN
AND THE SETTING SUN *

* I'VE GOT A SONG
AND A SMILE SO BRIGHT *

* I'LL MAKE YOU WISH
YOU WERE HERE TONIGHT *

* I'LL MAKE YOU WISH

* YOU WERE HERE TONIGHT

- STEP 46 C...

TAKE THE L-SHAPED WRENCH THINGY

AND TIGHTEN
THE DRAWER DOOHICKEY.

OKEYDOKEY.
EASY PEASY.

SON OF A BITCH-Y.
[laughter]

- GUMMY BEAR,
I LOVE YOUR SMILE.

- OH, GRIZZLY BEAR,
I LOVE YOUR EYES.

- YUP, THEY'RE PRETTY AWESOME.

- GUMMY, GRIZZ,

I COULD USE A COUPLE PAWS
OVER HERE.

- UH...I'VE GOT PRACTICE.

OH, BY THE WAY, BABE,

I CAN'T GO TO THE MOVIE
THIS AFTERNOON.

- REALLY?
I ALREADY BOUGHT THE TICKETS.

- HA!
I DID IT.

I AM WOMAN.
HERE ME DRAWER.

THAT'S ANOTHER GOOD ONE.

I GOT TO START
JOTTING THESE DOWN.

- YEAH, MY NANA'S IN TOWN,

SO WE HAVE TO HAVE
THIS BORING FAMILY GET-TOGETHER.

- OH, I GET IT.

I HAVE TO HELP MY MOM
BUILD THE DESK,

SO I KNOW ALL ABOUT
BORING FAMILY OBLIGATIONS.

- I'M RIGHT HERE.

- WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET DAD
TO CALL THE FURNITURE PLACE

AND YELL THEM
INTO FREE ASSEMBLY?

- BECAUSE I CAN DO THIS MYSELF.

DON'T JUST SIT THERE.
HELP ME.

- OKAY.

WHAT'S THIS THING?

- EXTRAS.

- AH, BLUE MILK,

THE MAGICAL RESULT OF MIXING
THREE DIFFERENT SUGARY CEREALS.

- MMM...SO SWEET.

- AND THE CORNERSTONE

OF THE PERFECT DAY OFF
FROM SCHOOL.

- SO THIS IS THE PLAN
FOR YOUR DAY OFF--

VEGGING ON THE COUCH,
WATCHING TV,

SLURPING SUGARY CEREAL?

- NOT NECESSARILY
IN THAT ORDER.

- WHY DON'T WE JUST HAND CHINA
THE KEYS TO OUR COUNTRY?

- LET'S GET YOU TO WORK.

- REMEMBER, ONLY OPEN THE DOOR
IF IT'S RUNYEN,

AND NO SURFING THE WEB

FOR THINGS YOUR BODY'S
TELLING YOU IT WANTS TO LOOK AT

BUT I'M TELLING YOU NOT TO.

- HEY, PRINCIPAL SLOAN.
- UH-UH-UH.

IN THIS HALLWAY,
I'M NOT YOUR PRINCIPAL.

I'M YOUR PRINCI-PAL.

[chuckles]

[ahem]

AND AS YOUR PAL,

IT SADDENS ME TO HEAR
THAT YOU QUIT THE DEBATE TEAM.

- WHAT?
YOU QUIT THE DEBATE TEAM?

- SON, ARE YOU FLASHING
GANG SIGNS AT ME OR...

- I WASN'T FLASHING GANG SIGNS,

BUT MY DAY OFF WAS ABOUT
TO GET SHOT IN A DRIVE-BY.

- OKAY,
TIME FOR A LITTLE TEST-DRIVE.

TYPE, TYPE, TYPE.
ANSWER THE PHONE.

STARE OUT THE WINDOW PENSIVELY.

- DO YOU LOVE IT?
- I REALLY DO.

I MEAN, IT'S A LITTLE BIGGER
THAN I WANTED,

BUT BIGGER'S BETTER, RIGHT?

- YOU HATE IT.
- I REALLY DO.

I'M SURE I'LL GET USED TO
THE SUPER AWKWARD LARGE DRAWERS

THAT ARE STUPID AND UGLY,
BUT WHATEVER.

IT'S FINE.
- I'M CALLING DAD.

I'LL GET HIM TO RETURN IT.
- NO, NOW, WAIT.

NO, WAIT.
OH, GOD, I LOVE YOUR CASE.

THAT IS CUTE.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT
I CAN'T RETURN THIS DESK MYSELF?

- 'CAUSE YOU'RE TERRIBLE
AT CONFRONTATION.

- NO, I'M NOT.
- YES, YOU ARE.

- OKAY, DON'T YELL.
I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A FIGHT.

[gasps]
THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE

TALKING ABOUT!

WELL, I'M GOING
TO GET BETTER AT IT,

STARTING WITH THIS DESK.

YOU KNOW
WHAT THE BEST PART IS?

SINCE ANTHONY DITCHED YOU
FOR HIS NANA,

YOU GET TO COME WITH ME.

- THAT IS THE BEST PART.

- WHY WOULD YOU QUIT DEBATE?

I THOUGHT YOU LOVED
THE OPINIONATORS.

- I USED TO LOVE
SUCKING MY THUMB,

BUT YOU GROW OUT OF THINGS.

- BOOM.

PROBABLY HAS SOMETHING TO DO
WITH THE FACT

THAT HE LOST
HIS LAST TOURNAMENT.

HE GOT DESTROYED UP THERE.
- DESTROYED?

I CAME IN SECOND.

- YEAH, THERE ARE ONLY
TWO SIDES.

HENRY, YOU'RE NEVER GONNA
GET AHEAD IN LIFE BY QUITTING.

EVERY SETBACK IS AN OPPORTUNITY
TO BETTER YOURSELF.

HOW DO YOU THINK
I GOT TO BE A LAWYER

WITH MY OWN PRACTICE?

YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S IT.

YOU'RE GONNA COME TO WORK
WITH ME!

GO SLAP ON SOME KHAKIS.

- HOW GREAT IS IT
I LIVE ACROSS THE HALL?

.

- YOU READY FOR THE GREATEST DAY
OF YOUR LIFE?

- I WAS.

NOW I'M JUST READY TO FOLLOW YOU
AROUND WORK.

- WORLD'S FULL OF PEOPLE DOING,
BUILDING, CREATING, SMOKING.

PUT THAT OUT.
THAT STUFF IS TOXIC.

I HOPE
AT LEAST YOU RECYCLE.

- WHAT'S UP, MR. F?
- HEY, DEREK.

DEREK'S DELIVERING WATER BOTTLES
TO PAY FOR MED SCHOOL.

YOU WON'T CATCH HIM
SITTING ON THE COUCH,

SLURPING SUGARY MILK,
OR ANY MILK.

HE'S LACTOSE INTOLERANT.

MORNING, JANICE.
WHAT'S UP?

- HI, HENRY.

MEL, YAMAMOTO'S WAITING
ON LINE ONE.

THE JURY
JUST STARTED DELIBERATIONS

ON THE KOSAKOWSKI TRIAL,

AND I NEED YOUR SIGNATURE
ON CAMDEN STEEL.

- DID I BEGIN
THE LETTER POLITELY

AND END
WITH VAGUE THREATS?

- YOU DID.
- I'M THE BEST.

- COFFEE.
- THANK YOU.

- HOW'S THE COLD?

- COMES AND GOES,
BUT NOTHING STOPS ME.

HENRY, I GOTTA GRAB
THIS CALL.

YOU CAN JUST HANG OUT HERE

AND TAKE IN THE SWEET SMELL
OF SUCCESS

AND JANICE'S MICROWAVE POPCORN.

- [chuckles]
- JANICE!

CARLY'S SCHOOL
IS HAVING A RAFFLE.

HOW MANY TICKETS YOU IN FOR?
- NONE.

- OH, COME ON.

AT CHRISTMAS,
YOU BOUGHT, LIKE, FOUR ROLLS

OF HENRY'S
STUPID WRAPPING PAPER

TO SUPPORT
HIS DEBATE TEAM.

- UNCLE GLEN, I SOLD MORE ROLLS
THAN ANYONE ELSE

AND WON AN XBOX

THAT I SHOULD BE PLAYING
RIGHT NOW.

- LET'S GO, HENRY.
CLOCK'S TICKING.

- [sighs]

- BRIEFCASE.

- IS IT OKAY?
- NO--NO!

- THANK YOU.

[thud]
- [grunts]

[both sigh]

- MAN, LOOK AT THIS PLACE.
IT'S PACKED.

IT'S LIKE A SWEDISH FURNITURE
REFUGEE CAMP.

- DO YOU REALLY NEED A DESK?

I MEAN, CAN'T YOU JUST USE
THE KITCHEN TABLE?

WE NEVER USE IT TO EAT.
- NO, WE ARE DOING THIS.

OH, THERE'S THE DESK I WANTED.
HEY, CUTIE.

LOOK AT IT SITTING THERE
WITH ITS SUPER CUTE DRAWERS

AND JUST THE RIGHT SIZEY-NESS.

- IT'S SO YOU.

I CAN TOTALLY IMAGINE IT COVERED
WITH HALF-WRITTEN PAPERS,

WEEKS OF UNOPENED MAIL,

AND LISTS OF STUFF
YOU'RE NEVER REALLY GONNA DO.

- I KNOW, RIGHT?
- YEAH.

- WHY DO THEY HAVE IT ON DISPLAY
IF THEY DON'T HAVE IT IN STOCK?

IT'S LIKE A DESK TEASE.

OH.

OKAY, 312.
WELL, MAYBE THEY'RE SUPER CLOSE.

- NOW SERVING NUMBER 3.

- THEY PROBABLY HAVE
A BUNCH OF WINDOWS OPEN.

HAVING A HARD TIME THINKING
OF SOMETHING POSITIVE TO SAY.

HMM.
[inhales]

OOH, ICE CREAM CONES FOR A BUCK.
LET'S GET 20.

- WHILE MOM WAS FILLING HER FACE
WITH $1 ICE CREAM CONES,

DAD WAS FILLING MY HEAD
WITH LESSONS ABOUT LIFE.

- AND IN CLOSING,

THESE ARE THE POLICIES
WHICH YOUR COMPANY HAS PUT FORTH

AND WHICH I, FOR MY PART,
HAVE HONORED.

THEREFORE, WE HAVE ENTERED
INTO A CONTRACT,

ALBEIT VERBAL,

AND I EXPECT YOU
TO HONOR IT.

THE PIZZA TOOK 32 MINUTES.

ERGO, FREE PIE.

THANK YOU.

- [grunting]

- SEE, HENRY?
NEVER GIVE UP.

UNLESS YOU'RE UNCLE GLEN,
IN WHICH CASE--

MOVE OVER.

- HEY, I COULD'VE DONE THAT
MYSELF,

BUT I TWEAKED MY BACK
WHITE WATER RAFTING.

- REALLY? WHITE WATER RAFTING?
- OKAY, I SNEEZED THIS MORNING.

- PAJAMAS AND A BLAZER?

- YOU TEXTED ME
LAST-MINUTE LOCATION CHANGE,

AND I MADE IT WORK.

BUSINESS CASUAL.
EAT YOUR PIZZA.

- I'M NOT HUNGRY.
- WHAT'S WRONG?

- MY DAD BROUGHT ME HERE

'CAUSE HE WANTED
TO TEACH ME A LESSON.

WELL, LESSON LEARNED.

THERE'S NOTHING
HE CAN'T DO.

WHAT'S THE POINT
OF TRYING

IF I'M NEVER GONNA BE ABLE
TO COME CLOSE TO THAT?

- [sighs]

SO WHAT I'M HEARING IS,

YOU'RE NOT GONNA FINISH
THAT PIZZA.

- OOH!
- OH!

- OH, MAN!

[phone chimes]
- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

ANTHONY'S FRIEND,
FAT ANTHONY,

JUST POSTED A PIC OF HIM
ON INSTAGRAM.

HE'S NOT WITH HIS NANA.
HE'S AT A DODGERS GAME.

- THAT LITTLE JERK!
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

- I MEAN, WHAT CAN I DO?
- BUST HIM.

YOU READ ME THE RIOT ACT
FOR SINGING IN THE CAR.

YOU CAN'T A BOYFRIEND OUT
FOR LYING TO YOUR FACE?

OH, NO.
SOMEONE STOLE OUR NUMBER.

321.
I PUT IT RIGHT HERE.

- MOM, NO ONE TOOK IT.
IT PROBABLY JUST BLEW AWAY.

- YEAH, IT'S THE JET STREAM
FROM KITCHEN AND DINING.

NO, SOMEONE STOLE OUR NUMBER.

I'VE BEEN BURGLED.
IKENBERRY, I CAN'T TAKE IT.

IF YOUR FATHER WAS HERE,

HE'D HAVE THE UNIVERSE
TRIPPING OVER ITSELF

TO GET HIM A NEW DESK.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M GONNA DO EXACTLY
WHAT HE DOES.

- CREATE EMBARRASSING DRAMA
IN PUBLIC?

- OH, YOU BETCHA.

I'M GONNA SCOPE
OUT THE AREA,

I'M GONNA WAIT
FOR MY NUMBER TO BE CALLED,

AND THEN I AM GOING TO CONFRONT
THE TICKET THIEF.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE GONNA BE DOING

WHILE I'M DOING THAT?
- GETTING US A SOFT PRETZEL?

- CALLING ANTHONY

AND BUSTING
HIS LITTLE LYING BEHIND.

- MOM, I CAN'T DO THAT.

- OR I GUESS WE CAN HAVE DAD
DO IT FOR YOU.

- [gasps]

- SO HE QUIT DEBATE.
BIG DEAL.

KIDS QUIT STUFF.
- YOU KNOW,

I BROUGHT HENRY HERE TODAY
TO TRY TO INSPIRE HIM,

BUT REALLY DOESN'T SEEM
TO BE WORKING OUT.

BY THE WAY,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?

WE NEED
A NEW WATER BOTTLE ALREADY?

- NO, I'M JUST PROVING
I CAN DO IT BY MYSELF.

AND I CAN.

- IT'S THAT IMPORTANT TO YOU
TO HAVE A WIN?

- YEAH, IT TOTALLY IS.
- HUH.

HEY, GREAT IDEA.

HENRY LOST HIS CONFIDENCE
BECAUSE OF ONE BAD DEBATE.

HE JUST NEEDS SOME KIND OF A WIN
TO GET HIS MOJO BACK.

- I AM FULL OF GOOD IDEAS.

CAREFUL, THERE'S SOME WATER
ON THE FLOOR.

- I CAN'T CONFRONT ANTHONY,

'CAUSE HE'LL BE LIKE,
"OH, ARE YOU CHECKING UP ON ME?"

AND I JUST CAN'T BE THAT GIRL.
- WHAT GIRL?

THE GIRL THAT'S BRAVE ENOUGH
TO CONFRONT HER BOYFRIEND

AFTER HE'S PLAYED HER?

YEAH, I KNOW
THE URBAN LINGO.

WELL, GUESS WHAT.
YOU ARE THAT GIRL.

I LIKE THAT GIRL,

AND I AM GOING TO BE
THE ADULT VERSION OF THAT GIRL.

WE ARE NOT GOING
TO ALLOW OURSELVES

TO BE DISSED ANY LONGER.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M IN, AND YOU'RE ON.

both: OW.

- GOT A SHOCK THERE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?

GIRL POWER.

WE WILL NOT TAKE LESS
THAN WE DESERVE.

IT ENDS HERE.
IT ENDS NOW.

IT ENDS AT IKENBERRY.
- MA'AM, CAN YOU KEEP IT DOWN?

- OH, YEAH, SURE.

- YOU'RE BUYING A CHANCE TO WIN
TWO FRONT ROW TICKETS

TO THE WORLD'S PREMIERE
FRENCH-CANADIAN ACROBATICS SHOW.

WHEN ONE OF THOSE
TWIRLING IDIOTS SLIPS

AND BREAKS THEIR LEGS,

YOU CAN GIVE THEM
THE FIRM'S CARD.

- COME ON, GLEN,
ARE YOU STILL AT THIS?

- EVERY PARENT HAS TO SELL
20 RAFFLE TICKETS.

- THIS IS REALLY BECOMING
A DISTRACTION.

HEY, HENRY.
YOU'RE A GOOD SALESMAN.

HELP ME OUT HERE.

IF YOU CAN GET YOUR UNCLE GLEN
TO 20 TICKET SALES,

I'LL HAVE YOU HOME
ON THE COUCH

SLURPING CEREAL
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT.

- REALLY?
- YOU BET.

- SWEET!

- WRAPPING PAPER.
YEAH, WRAPPING--

- UNCLE GLEN, YOU'RE GOING
ABOUT THIS THE WRONG WAY.

GIVE ME YOUR PHONE.
- MM-HMM.

- FOLKS,
THIS IS MY COUSIN CARLY.

CUTE, HUH?
BORN WITH TWO LEFT FEET.

COULDN'T KICK A SOCCER BALL
IF YOU GLUED IT TO HER LEG.

BASICALLY, THE GIRL'S A JOKE.
- HEY.

- AND YOU KNOW WHERE SHE GOES
TO FEEL SAFE?

THE SAME PLACE OUTCASTS
HAVE TURNED FOR CENTURIES,

THE THEATER.

AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT
THE PROCEEDS FROM THESE TICKETS

ARE GOING TO HELP BUILD.

- I PLAYED MEDEA
IN THE EIGHTH GRADE.

- YEAH, YOU DID.

BY BUYING THESE TICKETS,
YOU'RE STANDING UP

FOR ALL THE UNCOORDINATED
CHILDREN OF THE WORLD.

- PREACH.

- YOU'RE GIVING THEM
A PLACE TO FEEL SAFE,

AND ISN'T THAT
WHAT WE'RE ALL LOOKING FOR?

LOVE, ACCEPTANCE,

AND A SAFE PLACE
TO BE OURSELVES?

[applause]

- AND YOU'LL BE KEEPING MISFITS
LIKE CARLY

OUT OF THE WAY
OF THE ATHLETIC KIDS.

- HEY, NICE JOB, PAL.

LET'S PUT YOU IN A CAB, HUH?
YOU DESERVE IT.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK I'LL STAY.

- YEAH, I WAS JUST SELLING
RAFFLE TICKETS,

BUT I REMEMBER WALKING OUT
OF THAT KITCHEN

THINKING MAYBE STEPPING OUT
OF MY DAD'S SHADOW

WASN'T IMPOSSIBLE.

I WAS FEELING 5 FEET TALL.

- OH, I FORGOT MY CHIPS.

- THANKS FOR PLAYING ALONG,
GUYS.

NICE TOUCH WITH MEDEA, BETH.
YEAH, HENRY REALLY NEEDED A WIN.

AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT
THE RAFFLE TICKETS.

.

- WHO DO YOU THINK
THE TICKET THIEF IS?

- OH, IT'S GOT TO BE
WEIGHT BELT GUY OVER THERE.

HE SHOULD GET HIS ASS KICKED
JUST FOR WEARING THAT IN PUBLIC.

ARE YOU CALLING ANTHONY?
- WATCH ME DIAL.

- DO NOT LET HIM TALK YOU
OUT OF THIS.

HE LIED TO YOU.

[phone beeping]
- IT'S RINGING.

- OOH, WHAT ABOUT GRANDMA
OVER THERE?

SHE LOOKS SHIFTY.
I AM NOT BUYING THAT CRUCIFIX.

- HEY, GUMMY BEAR.

- DON'T "GUMMY BEAR" ME,
ANTHONY.

I KNOW YOU WERE
AT THE DODGERS GAME.

FAT ANTHONY PUT YOU
ON INSTAGRAM.

- DUDE!

KATIE, IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.

I MEAN, WE CAN GO
TO THAT MOVIE ANYTIME.

I'M STILL YOUR GRIZZLY BEAR.

- THE BIG DEAL
IS THAT YOU LIED.

YOU'RE A LYING LIAR,

AND I'M NOT GONNA LET SOMEONE
DISRESPECT ME LIKE THAT.

- GO, GUMMY.

- HUMILIATION IS DEFINED

AS THE PAINFUL LOSS OF PRIDE,
SELF-RESPECT, OR DIGNITY.

CHECK, CHECK, AND CHECK.

- HEY, BUDDY.

THE LATEST RAFFLE TICKET TOTAL:
44 AND COUNTING.

- WHATEVER.

- JURY'S BACK
ON THE KOSAKOWSKI TRIAL.

I GUESS AFTER
YOUR KILLER CLOSING ARGUMENT,

THEY DIDN'T NEED MUCH TIME.

OH, YOU PICKED A GOOD DAY
TO BE HERE, KIDDO.

GET TO SEE YOUR DAD
IN ACTION.

- COME ON, BUDDY.
THIS'LL BE FUN.

YOU CAN SHADOW ME.

- OF COURSE ALL I HEARD WAS,
"YOU CAN BE IN MY SHADOW."

- I NEED TO BE WITH SOMEONE
WHO RESPECTS ME,

AND LYING IS UNACCEPTABLE.

- NICE.
PREACH IT, GIRL.

- CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER?

- NO, WE CANNOT
TALK ABOUT THIS LATER.

YOU KNOW WHY?
THERE'S NOT GONNA BE ONE.

- OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
SLOW DOWN.

PUMP THE BRAKES
A LITTLE BIT.

- WE'RE OVER.

GUMMY BEAR OUT.

- WOW, BREAKUP.
DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.

- I WAS INSPIRED

BY MY MOTHER'S
NEWFOUND KICK-ASS-NESS,

AND--AND IT JUST FELT RIGHT.

NO SETTLING.

WOW.
- OOH.

- THAT WAS SUCH A RUSH.

NO WONDER
DAD LIKES DOING IT.

- NOW SERVING NUMBER 321.

- OUR NUMBER.
- NOW IT'S YOUR TURN.

- OKAY, THERE HE IS.

I CAN DO THIS.

OH, I CAN'T DO THIS.
I CAN'T DO THIS.

I DON'T HAVE
YOUR FATHER'S ABILITY.

HE HAS THE ADVANTAGE
OF NOT HAVING TO SEE

WHO HE'S CONFRONTING.

- OKAY, JOYCE,
YOU CAN DO THIS, AND YOU WILL.

YOUR WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN
LEADING UP TO THIS MOMENT.

IT STARTS HERE.
IT STARTS NOW.

IT STARTS AT IKENBERRY.

PLUS, I TOLD MY GUY OFF,
SO YOU GOTTA GO TELL YOURS.

[rousing orchestral music]

*

- I'D ALWAYS HEARD STORIES
OF MY DAD'S EXPLOITS IN COURT,

BUT UNTIL THAT DAY,

I HAD NEVER SEEN HIM
IN ACTION.

AND EVEN THOUGH
I WAS STILL STINGING

FROM THE RAFFLE TICKET INCIDENT,

IT WAS AMAZING TO SEE DAD
IN HIS ELEMENT.

- HOW WE DOING, PAL?
- GREAT.

- AS DAD WAS GETTING WARMED UP,
MOM WAS GOING FULL FORCE.

- HEY, CARGO PANTS
AND PONYTAIL,

YOU STOLE MY NUMBER.

- WHOA, RIGHT OUT
OF THE GATE.

- ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?
- YES, I AM, LADY HAIR.

WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL
STEALS SOMEONE'S NUMBER?

- MA'AM, I THINK
YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY.

- OH, REALLY?
CHECK YOUR POCKETS.

CHECK YOUR HUNDREDS
OF POCKETS.

OH, WAIT, NO NEED.
HERE IT IS.

- HEY.
- YUP, 321.

THAT'S MY NUMBER.

- OH, GOD.

- HERE WE GO.

- "IN THE CASE OF KOSAKOWSKI
VERSUS EQUITY CONSTRUCTION,

THE JURY FINDS IN FAVOR
OF THE PLAINTIFF."

- WAIT, WHAT?
- WAIT, WHAT?

- YOUR HONOR, WE MOVE
FOR AN IMMEDIATE MOTION

FOR JUDGMENT
NOTWITHSTANDING THE VERDICT.

- YOU HAVE NO GROUNDS.
THE COURT HAS RULED.

- BUT GIVE ME A MINUTE
TO POLL THE JURY.

- YOU HAVE TAKEN UP ENOUGH
OF THIS COURT'S TIME, COUNSELOR.

- YOUR HONOR--
- ONE MORE WORD OUT OF YOU

AND I'LL HOLD YOU IN CONTEMPT.

THIS COURT IS ADJOURNED.

- I DON'T KNOW
IF JUSTICE WAS SERVED,

.

- I MAY LOOK LIKE
A PRETTY LADY

THAT YOU CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF,

BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE
I'M HAVING A GREAT HAIR DAY.

- MOM WAS DISCOVERING
SHE COULD BE CONFRONTATIONAL.

- YOU ARE A BULLY

WHO THINKS HE CAN TAKE
SOMEONE'S TICKET

WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES.

AND YOU ARE HAVING
A BAD HAIR LIFE.

HUH?
- GOOD ONE.

- OKAY.
- WASN'T OUR NUMBER 312?

- NO, IT WAS 321,
AND THIS GUY STOLE IT.

- BUT IT TURNS OUT
SHE SHOULD'VE BEEN CONFRONTING

THE BACK OF HER PANTS.

- REMEMBER THAT SHOCK
WE GOT BEFORE?

I THINK IT MIGHT'VE BEEN
STATIC CLING.

- SO THIS WOULD BE YOURS.

YOU KNOW, I'M COMING AROUND
ON THE CARGO PANTS.

I MEAN, IT'S REALLY LIKE
HAVING 16 PURSES.

ON SECOND THOUGHT, I DON'T THINK
THIS DESK IS THAT BAD.

- I KIND OF LOVE IT.
SHOULD WE--

- JUST GET THE HELL OUT
OF HERE?

YEAH.

DON'T STOP,
OR I WILL LEAVE YOU HERE.

[both mouthing words]

- [mouthing words]

I WILL LEAVE YOU.

ACT LIKE YOU WORK HERE.
ACT LIKE YOU WORK HERE.

- OKAY.
- GIRL POWER.

[straining]
GIRL POWER...

- [grunts, gasps]
- OH!

GO, GO, GO!
- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

- I FEEL LIKE I LET YOU DOWN.
- HOW?

- WELL, I TOOK YOU TO WORK TODAY
TO INSPIRE YOU,

BUT AFTER WHAT HAPPENED
IN COURT--

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
THAT WAS AWESOME.

- WOW, THAT'S KIND OF MEAN.

- DAD, YOU TAUGHT ME
IT'S OKAY TO FAIL.

- YEAH, I WOULDN'T SAY "FAIL"
EXACTLY.

YOU KNOW, MOST CASES
THAT GO TO TRIAL--

- NO, NO, NO.

YOU FELL FLAT ON YOUR FACE
AT YOUR JOB.

- WAIT, IS THAT WHY YOU QUIT
THE DEBATE TEAM,

BECAUSE YOU FELT LIKE
YOU COULDN'T LIVE UP TO ME?

- WELL, YOU ARE
KIND OF A SUPERHERO,

AND YOU PROBABLY
NEVER NEEDED YOUR DAD

TO SET UP
A WHOLE RAFFLE TICKET SCAM

JUST TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE
YOU COULD SUCCEED.

- OH, YOU KNEW ABOUT THAT.
- YUP.

- WELL, DID YOU ALSO KNOW

THAT I ENDED UP NOT PAYING
FOR A SINGLE TICKET?

EVERYBODY WAS SO IMPRESSED
BY YOUR SALES PITCH,

THEY BOUGHT THEIR OWN.

- REALLY?
- WELL, EXCEPT BERNADETTE.

SHE THINKS CIRQUE DU SOLEIL
IS THE DEVIL'S GYMNASTICS.

- SHE REALLY HAS IT IN
FOR THEM.

- HENRY,

YOU KNOW
THAT I WILL ALWAYS BE PROUD

OF WHATEVER YOU DO
AS LONG AS YOU TRY YOUR BEST.

RIGHT?

- LIKE YOU TRIED
YOUR BEST TODAY.

BUT YOU GOT DESTROYED.

- YEAH, WELL, I'M GONNA FIND
A WAY TO APPEAL THAT CASE,

SO THAT'S PROBABLY GONNA END UP
IN THE WIN COLUMN TOO, OKAY?

AM I SENSING AN EYE ROLL
FROM YOU?

- IT WAS EASIER FOR ME
TO LOOK UP TO DAD

NOW THAT HIS PEDESTAL
WAS A LITTLE LOWER.

- YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
THE JUDGE SAID WHAT?

- "ONE MORE WORD OUT OF YOU,
AND I'LL HOLD YOU IN CONTEMPT."

- MOM DISCOVERED
IF SHE EVER GOT A PEDESTAL

THAT SHE DIDN'T LIKE,
SHE'D HAVE NO TROUBLE

RETURNING IT.
NO TROUBLE AT ALL.

- JOYCE, WE GOT
THE RIGHT DAMN DESK.

CAN WE GET A LITTLE HELP
CARRYING IT IN?

THIS THING BARELY FIT
THROUGH THE DOOR.

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU MANAGED
TO SQUEEZE IT INTO YOUR CAR.

- GIRL POWER.

all: STEP.
- THANK YOU.

- AND ADRENALINE.

WE WERE BEING CHASED
BY SECURITY.

- OH.

- NOW THAT I HAVE IT
IN THE HOUSE,

I'M NOT SURE.

- YEAH,
YOU'RE KEEPING IT.

- WE'RE NOT GOING BACK THERE.

- NO, BUT THIS ONE'S
KIND OF TRUNCATED,

AND THE OTHER ONE
WAS ACTUALLY BIGGER,

AND THE COLOR
MIGHT'VE BEEN BETTER.

I NEED TO SEE THEM
SIDE BY SIDE, ACTUALLY.

THAT WOULD REALLY BE--

- THAT'S MY BOY.