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Basic principles:
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00:00:46,910 --> 00:00:48,970
No woman wakes up saying:
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00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:52,240
"God, I hope I don't get
swept off my feet today."
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00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:59,710
Now, she might say,
"This is a really bad time for me."
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00:01:01,990 --> 00:01:06,190
Or something like, "I
just need some space."
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00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:10,360
Or my personal favorite:
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"I' m really into my career right now."
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You believe that? Neither does she.
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You know why?
Because she's lying to you, that's why.
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You understand me? Lying.
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It's not a bad time for her.
She doesn't need any space.
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She may be into her career...
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00:01:32,890 --> 00:01:36,550
but what she's really saying is,
"Get away from me now."
14
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:39,520
Or possibly, "Try harder, stupid."
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00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,330
Well, which one is it?
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60% of all human communication
is nonverbal.
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00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:50,530
Body language.
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00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,660
30% is your tone.
19
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:56,900
So that means that
90% of what you're saying...
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00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:59,510
ain't coming out of your mouth.
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Toby!
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00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:06,210
Shit!
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00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:07,620
Of course she'll lie to you.
24
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,520
She's a nice person,
she doesn't wanna hurt your feelings.
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00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,250
What else is she gonna say?
She doesn't even know you.
26
00:02:13,390 --> 00:02:14,450
Yet.
27
00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:20,130
Luckily, the fact is
that just like the rest of us...
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00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:24,640
even a beautiful woman doesn't know
what she wants until she sees it.
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00:02:24,910 --> 00:02:26,570
And that's where I come in.
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00:02:26,670 --> 00:02:28,870
My job is to open her eyes.
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00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:32,710
Oh, my God!
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00:02:36,980 --> 00:02:38,980
Is this what you're looking for?
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00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:42,990
Basic principles: No matter what,
no matter when, no matter who...
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00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,620
any man has a chance
to sweep any woman off her feet.
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00:02:47,030 --> 00:02:48,830
Just needs the right broom.
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00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:00,570
You cannot use what you do not have.
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00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,670
So if you're shy, be shy.
If you're outgoing, be outgoing.
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00:03:03,810 --> 00:03:06,250
- I' m not outgoing.
- That's okay.
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00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:09,810
She may not want the whole truth,
but she does want the real you.
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00:03:09,950 --> 00:03:13,320
She may not want to see it all at once,
but she does want to see it.
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00:03:13,450 --> 00:03:18,260
So tonight, when you're wondering what to
say, how you look, or if she likes you...
42
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,330
just remember, she is already out with you.
43
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:25,830
That means she said yes
when she could have said no.
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00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:29,970
That means she made a plan
when she could have just blown you off.
45
00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:34,170
So that means it is no longer your job
to try to make her like you.
46
00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:37,240
It is your job not to mess it up.
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00:03:40,550 --> 00:03:43,110
The shoes are hot.
You went to the place I told you?
48
00:03:43,220 --> 00:03:47,750
Yeah, but I don't think they're really me.
49
00:03:48,220 --> 00:03:51,590
"You" is a very fluid concept right now.
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00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:55,250
You bought the shoes.
You look great in the shoes.
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00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,160
That's the you I' m talking about.
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00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,770
The key tonight is hang back.
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00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:05,830
Give her plenty of space.
54
00:04:06,510 --> 00:04:09,500
If she lingers at a photograph, move on.
55
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,470
But maintain the visual.
56
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:22,190
It's supposed to be 64 and clear tonight.
So when you leave the club, walk a little.
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00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,620
Ask her what she thought about the show...
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00:04:24,730 --> 00:04:27,460
what was her favorite photograph,
why that one.
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00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:30,960
And when she answers,
don't be looking at her mouth.
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00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:33,730
Don't be wondering
what she looks like naked.
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00:04:33,870 --> 00:04:37,330
Listen to what she is saying and respond.
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00:04:37,740 --> 00:04:40,230
Listen and respond.
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00:04:40,910 --> 00:04:42,710
That way, when it's your turn to talk...
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00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:45,750
you'll have something better to say than,
"I like your mouth."
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00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:48,140
What was your favorite one?
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00:04:48,950 --> 00:04:51,040
The elephant, definitely.
67
00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:53,850
And all of a sudden,
we're on date number two.
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00:04:57,690 --> 00:04:58,850
Ready.
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00:05:04,870 --> 00:05:06,060
No way.
70
00:05:07,770 --> 00:05:10,830
We're going back in there.
You have to smile.
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00:05:11,140 --> 00:05:14,730
In case you didn't go to high school
hitting is a good thing.
72
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,400
So how does it happen, great love?
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00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:18,570
Are you okay?
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00:05:18,710 --> 00:05:20,340
- Nobody knows.
- I' m good.
75
00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:23,780
Let me get a Bomb Pop
and a Screwball for the lady.
76
00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:28,180
But what I can tell you,
is that it happens in the blink of an eye.
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00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:33,050
One moment, you're enjoying your life.
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00:05:33,230 --> 00:05:37,360
And the next, you're wondering
how you ever lived without them.
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00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,690
Three dates is all I need.
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00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:45,260
Three dates, and I' II get you here,
to the high-stakes medal round...
81
00:05:45,410 --> 00:05:48,400
where eight out of 10 women
believe that the first kiss...
82
00:05:48,510 --> 00:05:52,380
will tell them everything they need to know
about the relationship.
83
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,280
After that, you're on your own.
84
00:06:24,950 --> 00:06:26,810
But always remember...
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00:06:27,150 --> 00:06:30,140
life is not the amount of breaths you take.
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00:06:31,820 --> 00:06:34,850
It's the moments that
take your breath away.
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00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:41,530
Did I call it or did I call it?
88
00:06:41,730 --> 00:06:43,820
I mean, what did I say, six months?
89
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,690
And when was her first date?
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00:06:45,830 --> 00:06:48,830
So five-and-a-half?
God, I hate it when I' m right.
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00:06:48,970 --> 00:06:52,600
What is it about guys that makes them
want to screw anything that walks...
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00:06:52,710 --> 00:06:56,040
even when they're going out with
someone as awesome as Allegra Cole?
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00:06:56,180 --> 00:06:58,940
She's only the most fabulous thing
walking around New York.
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00:06:59,050 --> 00:07:00,100
Thanks, Young.
95
00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:02,510
Are you kidding?
Of course I' m gonna run it.
96
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:06,050
Why should she waste her heart
on some Swedish aristo-brat?
97
00:07:06,190 --> 00:07:08,160
Even if he is gorgeous.
98
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:09,990
If he's stupid enough to cheat...
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00:07:10,090 --> 00:07:12,530
the world should know
he's dumb enough to get caught.
100
00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:15,060
Exactly. I' m in the elevator.
See you in a minute.
101
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,320
Good morning, how are you?
102
00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:19,500
Bitter, party of one.
103
00:07:20,870 --> 00:07:22,130
You should try it sometime.
104
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:25,500
Barbados by myself?
I wouldn't last five minutes.
105
00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:27,400
It was just what the doctor ordered.
106
00:07:27,540 --> 00:07:31,000
I slept in, I did my yoga,
I read a couple of books...
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00:07:31,110 --> 00:07:32,810
flirted with my scuba instructor.
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00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:36,010
- And apparently never left the office.
- I know, isn't that great?
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00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:38,240
You should 've taken someone with you.
110
00:07:38,390 --> 00:07:40,510
Who am I gonna take with me?
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00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:42,890
This is where a boyfriend comes in handy.
112
00:07:43,020 --> 00:07:47,480
- I don't have time for a boyfriend.
- You said that two years ago.
113
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,560
Yes, and it's as true today as it was then.
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00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,590
I thought you were on vacation.
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00:07:52,730 --> 00:07:56,070
See if these are in focus
and have them in my desk in an hour.
116
00:07:56,200 --> 00:08:00,570
Besides, relationships are for people
waiting for something better to come along.
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00:08:00,710 --> 00:08:03,010
Spoken like a true cynic.
118
00:08:03,380 --> 00:08:05,240
I'm not a cynic. I' m a realist.
119
00:08:05,380 --> 00:08:09,840
You are a realist masquerading as a cynic
who is secretly an optimist.
120
00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:12,580
What are you doing here?
What is she doing here?
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00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,240
She works here, remember?
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00:08:14,390 --> 00:08:17,020
No, she doesn't. Not for another four days.
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00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,920
- This couldn't wait.
- It could.
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00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:20,930
What are you doing? Go back to the beach.
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00:08:21,060 --> 00:08:23,900
- I don't want you here.
- No, really, you do.
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00:08:24,030 --> 00:08:27,020
You are becoming
a sick, workaholic lunatic...
127
00:08:27,130 --> 00:08:28,830
and this is exactly...
128
00:08:28,940 --> 00:08:33,100
the kind of nervous, overwrought behavior
that leads to...
129
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:36,070
Pictures of Sebby with a busty brunette.
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00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:39,110
A very big raise.
131
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:42,710
Jesus. You could find dirt in a snowstorm.
132
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:44,750
Comes with the job.
133
00:08:44,890 --> 00:08:49,550
You know, kiddo, there is more to life
than watching other people live it.
134
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,460
Can I help he was cheating on my beach?
135
00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:55,120
I think it's great
that you're so good at your job.
136
00:08:55,260 --> 00:08:57,890
I'm just a little worried as to why.
137
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,360
Let me worry about that.
138
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:04,730
Okay. I want that column on my desk
by lunch.
139
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,200
So you'll pay for my hotel.
140
00:09:06,310 --> 00:09:09,740
For you to sip mai tais?
I don't think so. Get out.
141
00:09:22,260 --> 00:09:23,660
- Come on.
- What?
142
00:09:23,790 --> 00:09:25,220
- That's good, right?
- No.
143
00:09:25,330 --> 00:09:26,920
No, it was in and it freaked out.
144
00:09:27,030 --> 00:09:31,050
You know what your problem is, Hitch?
You're all about the short game.
145
00:09:32,670 --> 00:09:35,970
You pick your shots
based on what you see first...
146
00:09:36,370 --> 00:09:39,640
not what's necessarily best for you...
147
00:09:40,810 --> 00:09:42,440
in the long run.
148
00:09:43,210 --> 00:09:47,580
All of us are not married to the woman
of our dreams and about to have a baby.
149
00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:51,240
You know, I' m very happy for you.
Just not meant for everybody.
150
00:09:51,350 --> 00:09:54,290
So please just leave me
to my hot, sweaty...
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00:09:54,390 --> 00:09:57,620
totally varied, wildly experimental
short game.
152
00:09:58,530 --> 00:10:01,830
- I was talking about pool, but whatever.
- Yeah, okay.
153
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,690
Honestly, I just hope one day
you're able to experience...
154
00:10:04,830 --> 00:10:08,530
the unconditional love, trust,
and openness...
155
00:10:08,670 --> 00:10:10,530
that I share with Grace every single day.
156
00:10:10,670 --> 00:10:14,300
- Is this really barroom talk?
- You need to listen to me. I' m serious.
157
00:10:14,410 --> 00:10:17,100
Because when you get to a place
with a woman like that...
158
00:10:17,210 --> 00:10:19,040
it's so beyond anything physical that...
159
00:10:19,180 --> 00:10:21,840
when I think back to
when I used to run around with you...
160
00:10:21,980 --> 00:10:24,950
and chase all these really gorgeous
but shallow women...
161
00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:30,020
I don't know, it's kind of ridiculous
and vaguely pathetic.
162
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:40,190
Yeah, I see what you mean. That's pathetic.
163
00:10:44,670 --> 00:10:46,040
So, how'd you meet him?
164
00:10:46,170 --> 00:10:49,070
I was in La Perla
just buying some weekend thongs.
165
00:10:49,210 --> 00:10:51,740
- And he was doing likewise?
- No.
166
00:10:52,210 --> 00:10:55,150
Actually, he said he was buying something
for his mom.
167
00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:56,550
His mom?
168
00:10:56,850 --> 00:10:59,510
Casey, who buys high-priced lingerie
for their mother?
169
00:10:59,620 --> 00:11:01,920
Well, maybe he was looking for a robe.
170
00:11:02,260 --> 00:11:06,590
Casey, he was hitting on you while
he was buying lingerie for another woman.
171
00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:11,260
- I prefer the mother story.
- I know you do, but that's not the point.
172
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:14,660
No, the point is I' m not gonna start out
assuming the guy's a liar.
173
00:11:14,770 --> 00:11:17,400
- Why not?
- Because that's how you wind up...
174
00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:20,730
Like me? Is that what you were gonna say?
175
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,340
No. I was gonna say, "Like you."
176
00:11:23,740 --> 00:11:25,680
- What's his name?
- Why?
177
00:11:26,110 --> 00:11:28,550
- I' m gonna Google him.
- No. Google your own guy.
178
00:11:28,650 --> 00:11:30,620
Let's just see if his mother's still alive.
179
00:11:30,750 --> 00:11:33,690
- So when is Grace due again?
- Soon.
180
00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:36,680
- You excited?
- What'd you say?
181
00:11:36,990 --> 00:11:39,590
Do you want me to go get them
and bring them over here?
182
00:11:39,730 --> 00:11:40,890
No, don't do that.
183
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:45,020
Are you saying you don't wanna talk to them
because you can't go home with them?
184
00:11:45,130 --> 00:11:47,360
I'm just trying to keep
my head above water.
185
00:11:47,470 --> 00:11:50,200
- Have you heard of the Date Doctor?
- Urban myth.
186
00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:51,570
- Really?
- Absolutely.
187
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,300
I was hoping he also helped women.
188
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,470
Casey, you're not sick. You're single.
189
00:11:56,740 --> 00:11:59,080
You just have to relax and enjoy the ride.
190
00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:01,410
I haven't been ridden in months.
191
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:09,450
On that happy note, I' m gonna go see
if anybody interesting came in tonight.
192
00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:11,790
- You mean, besides me.
- Right.
193
00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:13,420
Bye.
194
00:12:13,530 --> 00:12:15,930
I'll go get those girls,
bring them over here...
195
00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:18,260
and we'll have a conversation
like human beings.
196
00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:22,100
Then you're gonna home,
and I' II take them back to my apartment.
197
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:26,660
Well, that sounds like fun for me.
But you might want to get in line, pal.
198
00:12:26,810 --> 00:12:29,670
- Hey, girl.
- Hey, how are you?
199
00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:35,640
Hey, baby, can I get a couple Coronas
at the pool table, please? Thanks.
200
00:12:35,780 --> 00:12:37,150
Excuse me.
201
00:12:39,820 --> 00:12:41,650
Lime wedges in the bottle's fine.
202
00:12:41,790 --> 00:12:44,160
Hey, asshole, I don't work here.
203
00:12:48,460 --> 00:12:53,400
I'm sorry. The paramedics will have to come
to get my foot out of my mouth, sweetheart.
204
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,800
Just don't let it happen again.
205
00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:58,460
- I knew you didn't work here.
- You did?
206
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:02,060
How else was I supposed to get you away
from all those guys?
207
00:13:02,780 --> 00:13:05,070
Why would you want to do that?
208
00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:08,980
Some guys naturally develop a comfort
with the opposite sex.
209
00:13:09,180 --> 00:13:13,020
They like women, women like them.
Everything flows naturally.
210
00:13:13,850 --> 00:13:17,420
Back in college, I was
just not one of them.
211
00:13:21,860 --> 00:13:24,800
I seemed to lack the basic understanding...
212
00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:27,460
that my peers just intuitively grasped.
213
00:13:27,570 --> 00:13:32,130
But like any late bloomer,
I was eager to make up for lost time.
214
00:13:35,010 --> 00:13:38,100
Her name was Cressida Baylor.
215
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:42,210
Can you tell me
where the registration building is?
216
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,150
And my life would never be the same.
217
00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:50,720
- I' m Alex.
- Cressida.
218
00:13:54,090 --> 00:13:56,460
What we had was beautiful.
219
00:14:02,270 --> 00:14:03,670
I love you.
220
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,200
I love you so much.
221
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,070
I love you, too, Alex.
222
00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:20,510
I know you don't love me
as much as I love you.
223
00:14:20,620 --> 00:14:24,490
But that's okay.
I'm just glad you love me at all.
224
00:14:24,590 --> 00:14:27,920
In retrospect,
I guess I may have come on a little strong.
225
00:14:32,130 --> 00:14:34,530
But the experience taught me a lot.
226
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:35,930
Cressida!
227
00:14:39,810 --> 00:14:41,500
What are you doing?
228
00:14:41,610 --> 00:14:43,010
I'm sorry, Alex.
229
00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:47,510
But I love you. What did I do wrong?
Just tell me what I did wrong.
230
00:14:47,710 --> 00:14:49,770
You're doing it right now.
231
00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:52,410
Alex, I' m sorry.
232
00:14:55,990 --> 00:15:00,190
And it's an education
I feel obliged to pass on to my fellow men.
233
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:08,230
Because with no guile and no game,
there's no girl.
234
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:11,260
If ever a man born was without game...
235
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,900
it was Albert Brennaman.
236
00:15:40,430 --> 00:15:45,240
My business is 100% referral
and, thus far, untraceable.
237
00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:47,170
And if there's one thing I' ve learned...
238
00:15:47,310 --> 00:15:51,000
when you orchestrate, coordinate,
and otherwise mess with fate...
239
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:53,610
it's best to fly under the radar.
240
00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:34,050
I hope she's single
'cause I don't do break-ups.
241
00:16:34,190 --> 00:16:36,160
Hi. Thank you for seeing me.
242
00:16:36,260 --> 00:16:39,710
Yeah, no.
I mean, she just got out of a relationship.
243
00:16:40,190 --> 00:16:43,220
Is that a problem?
Because if it is, that's fine.
244
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,660
I'm a little uncomfortable
with this anyway.
245
00:16:45,770 --> 00:16:50,000
Definitely been hurt a lot.
I had a lot of bad experiences.
246
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:53,560
Some good ones.
But definitely a lot of bad ones.
247
00:16:54,270 --> 00:16:58,370
I'm desperate, basically.
I mean, not in general, you understand?
248
00:16:58,510 --> 00:17:02,210
You know, not just for anybody.
But, man, for her... Yeah.
249
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:05,050
Why don't you tell me about her?
250
00:17:06,190 --> 00:17:08,310
Let's see, what can I say?
251
00:17:08,620 --> 00:17:12,320
My company handles her finances.
I'm her tax consultant.
252
00:17:12,860 --> 00:17:16,160
Well, I' m one of them.
I'm the junior man on the account.
253
00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:18,700
- So does she know you're interested?
- No.
254
00:17:22,870 --> 00:17:24,030
Alive?
255
00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:26,570
Llent her my pen once.
256
00:17:27,070 --> 00:17:29,370
Shoot. Does anyone have a pen?
257
00:17:29,510 --> 00:17:33,000
- Here, take mine.
- Albert, you're crushing my arm.
258
00:17:33,110 --> 00:17:35,640
Sorry about that. Here you go, Allegra.
259
00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:41,550
Allegra? As in Allegra Cole?
260
00:17:41,690 --> 00:17:44,420
Yeah, I realize that I'
m not her usual type.
261
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:48,360
Well, her last boyfriend owned Sweden
or something.
262
00:17:48,460 --> 00:17:50,190
And that guy was a bum.
263
00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:53,360
He didn't seem like
a very nice person to me.
264
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,430
You swing for the fence.
265
00:17:56,600 --> 00:18:00,000
Look, you don't think I tried
talking myself out of this?
266
00:18:00,110 --> 00:18:03,940
I mean, you don't think I know
how ridiculous this is? I know, okay?
267
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:07,510
I just thought that maybe with your help...
268
00:18:09,580 --> 00:18:13,580
You know what?
I'm really sorry I wasted your time.
269
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,060
Hold on a second, Albert.
270
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:33,700
You know what it's like
getting up every morning feeling hopeless?
271
00:18:33,910 --> 00:18:37,400
Feeling like the love of your life
is waking up with the wrong man?
272
00:18:37,510 --> 00:18:42,410
But at the same time,
hoping that she still finds happiness...
273
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,750
even if it's never gonna be with you?
274
00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:49,920
You are flat-out...
275
00:18:50,790 --> 00:18:53,950
out of your mind. You know that?
276
00:18:57,860 --> 00:18:59,300
That's good.
277
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:01,590
It is?
278
00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:04,900
You ever heard of Michelangelo?
279
00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:07,240
Heard of the Sistine Chapel
280
00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:10,240
Michelangelo.
281
00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:12,740
Sistine Chapel.
282
00:19:12,980 --> 00:19:14,740
You saying you can do this?
283
00:19:14,850 --> 00:19:18,410
My name is Alex Hitchens.
Let's go paint that ceiling.
284
00:19:47,910 --> 00:19:49,380
Take it easy.
285
00:19:50,750 --> 00:19:52,180
Oh, my God!
286
00:20:38,060 --> 00:20:40,590
Well, it looks like I' m still rich.
287
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:48,570
But what I would really like,
and what I was wondering is...
288
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:53,940
if I could have $500,000
to invest on my own.
289
00:20:55,950 --> 00:21:00,050
And what were you thinking
of investing in, Allegra?
290
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:06,190
Well, it's something
that I really have a passion for.
291
00:21:12,270 --> 00:21:14,600
Daydreams are for private time.
292
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,200
When you're in the room, be in the room.
293
00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:20,930
Concentrate. Focus.
Women respond when you respond to them.
294
00:21:21,140 --> 00:21:23,970
My friend Maggie is a talented designer.
295
00:21:24,410 --> 00:21:28,750
I've seen the business plan
and the samples look fantastic.
296
00:21:29,780 --> 00:21:33,880
And I would really like to get involved.
297
00:21:38,490 --> 00:21:40,150
I'll tell you what.
298
00:21:40,290 --> 00:21:44,960
Let us come up with a range of investments
that we think you might be interested in...
299
00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:48,690
and next month,
we'll run the whole lot of them by you.
300
00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:52,790
Okay.
301
00:21:52,940 --> 00:21:55,430
Fine. Thank you. All right, gentlemen.
302
00:21:55,980 --> 00:21:58,570
Let's go over this one more time.
What is the objective?
303
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:00,110
Shock and awe.
304
00:22:00,250 --> 00:22:03,110
That was shockingly awful
What is the objective?
305
00:22:03,250 --> 00:22:04,410
Shock and awe.
306
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,880
What is the objective?
307
00:22:07,690 --> 00:22:10,490
- Excuse me, sir.
- Yes, Albert?
308
00:22:18,100 --> 00:22:21,400
I don't really agree with that.
309
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:23,990
You don't really agree with what?
310
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:34,080
I think if you want to invest $500,000
in your friend's business...
311
00:22:34,180 --> 00:22:35,670
that's exactly what you should do.
312
00:22:35,820 --> 00:22:38,610
You don't need us to tell you what to do.
313
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:41,780
We're a board of advisers,
not your kindergarten teachers.
314
00:22:41,890 --> 00:22:44,120
If you want to be taken seriously
as an adult...
315
00:22:44,220 --> 00:22:46,590
then start taking yourself seriously
as an adult...
316
00:22:46,690 --> 00:22:49,660
instead of asking for permission
to invest your own money...
317
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:52,490
from a boardroom
full of your daddy's golf buddies.
318
00:22:52,630 --> 00:22:54,360
- That's quite enough!
- I' m not finished.
319
00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:58,700
I'd like to see anybody in this room
handle the attention and publicity...
320
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:02,500
that she's had to deal with her whole life,
with half her class.
321
00:23:04,810 --> 00:23:08,940
We should be taking advice from you,
Miss Cole. Not the other way around.
322
00:23:09,050 --> 00:23:11,810
- Sit down...
- No! You know what? I quit!
323
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:23,560
Oh, my God.
324
00:23:33,710 --> 00:23:36,400
Just breathe. How'd it go?
325
00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:40,070
I yelled at her. I screamed at my boss!
I quit my job!
326
00:23:40,610 --> 00:23:42,380
- What?
- You said...
327
00:23:42,750 --> 00:23:45,310
- I gotta go back.
- No, I didn't tell you to quit.
328
00:23:45,420 --> 00:23:47,180
Relax. Okay, listen, we're fine.
329
00:23:47,290 --> 00:23:49,760
- Would you let me go?
- Albert, no!
330
00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:53,990
Just relax! Okay?
331
00:23:54,530 --> 00:23:57,890
- Just let it marinate for a second. Trust me.
- No!
332
00:24:08,210 --> 00:24:10,230
Relax.
333
00:24:10,380 --> 00:24:12,500
- It's Allegra Cole.
- Answer it.
334
00:24:12,610 --> 00:24:16,170
- Could I speak to you a second?
- Answer the door, Albert.
335
00:24:20,620 --> 00:24:21,880
Yes. Hi.
336
00:24:22,660 --> 00:24:24,060
What's up?
337
00:24:24,390 --> 00:24:26,290
Listen, Albert, right?
338
00:24:27,130 --> 00:24:32,060
- People don't usually talk to me like that.
- Close your mouth, man.
339
00:24:32,170 --> 00:24:34,760
Let me rephrase that.
340
00:24:34,900 --> 00:24:37,730
People never talk to me like that.
341
00:24:39,340 --> 00:24:40,530
Stand up.
342
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,400
I guess it's kind of scary for them.
343
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:48,110
But that's why I really appreciate
what you did in there.
344
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:51,420
But I was wondering...
345
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:55,750
do you think that you and I could
get together sometime this week?
346
00:24:57,820 --> 00:25:00,490
You know, to go over things.
347
00:25:01,460 --> 00:25:03,220
Financial things.
348
00:25:03,330 --> 00:25:07,460
I'd like to see the areas
where I can afford to take some risks.
349
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:09,930
- Check your schedule.
- I' II check my schedule.
350
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:13,470
Great. Let me give you my number.
Do you have a pen?
351
00:25:13,710 --> 00:25:15,800
I don't think I have one.
352
00:25:20,710 --> 00:25:22,480
- Yes, I do.
- Great.
353
00:25:34,690 --> 00:25:36,490
And call me Allegra.
354
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,800
- You're done.
- Goodbye.
355
00:25:45,540 --> 00:25:46,840
Good job.
356
00:25:49,710 --> 00:25:50,770
Oh, damn.
357
00:26:12,230 --> 00:26:16,640
She's some kind of newspaper columnist. Comes
in here once in a while. Great tipper.
358
00:26:16,740 --> 00:26:17,790
What's her drink?
359
00:26:17,900 --> 00:26:21,200
Usually beer.
Tonight, Grey Goose martini, dirty.
360
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:32,540
Hi.
361
00:26:34,490 --> 00:26:36,180
I noticed your glass was getting low...
362
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:39,190
so I took the liberty
of bringing you another apple martini.
363
00:26:39,330 --> 00:26:40,310
Thank you.
364
00:26:40,430 --> 00:26:44,450
And I couldn't help but notice
you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
365
00:26:45,030 --> 00:26:47,520
- What's your name?
- They call me Chip.
366
00:26:47,670 --> 00:26:49,830
You can't get them to stop?
367
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,200
That was funny.
368
00:26:52,340 --> 00:26:55,830
Listen, I understand the courage it takes
to walk across a room...
369
00:26:55,940 --> 00:26:58,470
and try to generate a relationship
out of thin air.
370
00:26:58,580 --> 00:27:02,380
- So don't take the following personally.
- You have fantastic eyes.
371
00:27:03,780 --> 00:27:05,720
Thanks. Try to listen.
372
00:27:05,850 --> 00:27:09,810
This is no reflection on you.
I'm just not interested.
373
00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:12,590
But thank you for the compliment
of coming over.
374
00:27:12,730 --> 00:27:15,590
You're welcome.
So do you like Cuban food?
375
00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:20,260
Chip, seriously, that was not code for,
"I wish you'd try harder."
376
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:24,530
Are you always so shut-down and afraid
that the right man might make you...
377
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,730
Feel like a natural woman?
378
00:27:27,540 --> 00:27:30,740
Sorry I' m late, honey.
I couldn't get a cab. How was the meeting?
379
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:34,540
Well, there was a beginning,
a middle, and an end.
380
00:27:34,980 --> 00:27:36,950
Nice to meet you, Chip.
381
00:27:42,260 --> 00:27:43,590
You, too.
382
00:27:46,660 --> 00:27:49,290
On the one hand,
it is very difficult for a man...
383
00:27:49,430 --> 00:27:52,130
to even speak to someone
who looks like you.
384
00:27:52,270 --> 00:27:55,460
But on the other hand,
should that be your problem?
385
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,090
So life's kind of hard all around.
386
00:27:58,740 --> 00:28:01,070
Not if you pay attention.
387
00:28:02,910 --> 00:28:04,880
You're sending all the right signals:
388
00:28:04,980 --> 00:28:08,440
No earrings, heels under two inches,
your hair is pulled back...
389
00:28:08,580 --> 00:28:12,210
wearing reading glasses with no book,
drinking a Grey Goose martini...
390
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,580
which means you had a hell of a week
and a beer just wouldn't do it.
391
00:28:15,690 --> 00:28:17,050
If that wasn't clear enough...
392
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:21,290
there's always the "fuck off"
that you have stamped on your forehead.
393
00:28:21,430 --> 00:28:25,730
Who'd believe there's a man out there
that can sit by a woman he doesn't know...
394
00:28:25,830 --> 00:28:29,930
and genuinely be interested in who she is,
what she does, without his own agenda?
395
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,970
I wouldn't even know
what that would look like.
396
00:28:33,140 --> 00:28:35,130
So what would a guy like that say?
397
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:38,680
He'd say, " My name is Alex Hitchens
and I' m a consultant."
398
00:28:38,810 --> 00:28:40,640
But she wouldn't be interested in that...
399
00:28:40,780 --> 00:28:43,250
because she'd be counting the seconds
until he left.
400
00:28:43,350 --> 00:28:45,840
Thinking he was like every other guy.
401
00:28:45,990 --> 00:28:49,180
Which, life experience has taught her,
is a virtual certainty.
402
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,120
But then he'd ask her name
and what she did for a living...
403
00:28:52,230 --> 00:28:54,420
and she might blow him off.
404
00:28:54,630 --> 00:28:56,420
Or she might say...
405
00:29:00,970 --> 00:29:04,870
I'm Sara Melas.
I run the gossip column at the Standard.
406
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,970
And then he'd ask all these
penetrating questions about her...
407
00:29:08,070 --> 00:29:11,310
because he was sincerely,
if atypically, interested.
408
00:29:11,410 --> 00:29:12,470
No.
409
00:29:12,850 --> 00:29:15,280
- No?
- He'd be interested.
410
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:18,840
But he'd see that there was no way...
411
00:29:18,990 --> 00:29:22,790
he could possibly make her realize
that he was for real.
412
00:29:22,890 --> 00:29:28,020
Well, he could be funny and charming
and refreshingly original.
413
00:29:28,860 --> 00:29:30,330
Wouldn't help.
414
00:29:30,430 --> 00:29:33,560
- Don't you hate it when that happens?
- Not really.
415
00:29:33,700 --> 00:29:37,400
They'd both probably go on
to lead the lives they were headed toward.
416
00:29:37,540 --> 00:29:40,340
My guess is they'd do just fine.
417
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:45,500
It's a pleasure to have
met you, Sara Melas.
418
00:29:50,550 --> 00:29:54,010
Grey Goose martini
from the gentleman who just left.
419
00:29:59,390 --> 00:30:00,980
Is that for me?
420
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:04,920
What?
421
00:30:20,210 --> 00:30:22,440
Vance Munson. Sorry I' m late.
422
00:30:23,450 --> 00:30:26,350
No, not a problem.
423
00:30:27,590 --> 00:30:29,380
Wow, you're the...
424
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:34,050
- Can I get you something to drink, Mr...
- No, I' m fine, thank you.
425
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,030
So, tell me about her.
426
00:30:38,500 --> 00:30:40,190
Have you ever met someone...
427
00:30:40,300 --> 00:30:43,100
and you knew right away
she was gonna be important to you?
428
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:46,640
Not just because of her looks,
but that X factor.
429
00:30:47,670 --> 00:30:49,200
How'd you meet her?
430
00:30:49,310 --> 00:30:52,710
Actually, I was in a shop
buying pajamas for my mom.
431
00:30:52,810 --> 00:30:54,710
And by that, of course, you mean...
432
00:30:54,810 --> 00:30:57,750
you were buying lingerie
for another woman.
433
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:02,750
Yes. You can't help
where you meet somebody.
434
00:31:03,460 --> 00:31:05,980
And the lingerie is for a woman
I'm no longer seeing.
435
00:31:06,130 --> 00:31:08,990
But anyway, the girl I met,
the one I was talking about...
436
00:31:09,130 --> 00:31:11,820
she's so sweet, funny, Southern.
437
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,990
She gives me her number.
Now she won't return my phone calls.
438
00:31:15,130 --> 00:31:18,800
I don't know what it is about her.
I just can't get her out of my mind.
439
00:31:18,940 --> 00:31:22,970
You know, food has lost its taste.
Colors, they seem dull.
440
00:31:23,110 --> 00:31:26,840
Things that used to matter...
I don't know, they just no longer do.
441
00:31:26,980 --> 00:31:29,950
I think things aren't gonna snap back
unless I...
442
00:31:31,850 --> 00:31:33,580
Unless I bang her.
443
00:31:35,790 --> 00:31:37,150
Excuse me?
444
00:31:38,890 --> 00:31:42,350
You know, bang her. Clear my head.
Get in, get off, get out.
445
00:31:45,130 --> 00:31:48,430
I think you may have misunderstood
what I do exactly.
446
00:31:48,530 --> 00:31:51,260
No, I was told you help guys get in there.
447
00:31:51,370 --> 00:31:53,300
Right. But, see, here's the thing.
448
00:31:53,410 --> 00:31:56,810
My clients actually like women.
449
00:31:59,550 --> 00:32:01,980
Hit it and quit it is not my thing.
450
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:06,020
Let me make one thing clear to you, rabbi.
I need professional help.
451
00:32:06,150 --> 00:32:08,950
Well, that is for damn certain.
452
00:32:09,390 --> 00:32:13,950
And I' m glad you can admit it
because generally that's the hardest part.
453
00:32:16,900 --> 00:32:20,020
You see what I' m doing?
This is what I' m about.
454
00:32:20,930 --> 00:32:23,200
Power suit, power tie, power steering.
455
00:32:23,340 --> 00:32:27,360
People can wince, cry, beg,
but eventually they do what I want.
456
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:31,370
So that's, like, a metaphor.
457
00:32:33,950 --> 00:32:36,810
Well, I' m more of a literal kind of guy.
458
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:38,710
So when I do this...
459
00:32:40,750 --> 00:32:45,020
this is more like me saying that I
will literally break your shit off...
460
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:47,990
if you ever touch me again. Okay, pumpkin?
461
00:32:48,090 --> 00:32:49,320
Got it.
462
00:32:57,370 --> 00:32:59,340
No.
463
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:03,700
Pablo, I can't just mention your
restaurant. Somebody has to eat there.
464
00:33:03,810 --> 00:33:06,740
No, somebody famous. You know that.
465
00:33:07,050 --> 00:33:08,670
- Sara Melas?
- No.
466
00:33:09,580 --> 00:33:11,170
Okay. Bye.
467
00:33:13,250 --> 00:33:15,080
I need your signature.
468
00:33:29,300 --> 00:33:33,970
I hate it when a guy calls a girl
who did not give him her number.
469
00:33:34,110 --> 00:33:36,540
So this is me not calling. Over.
470
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,610
Yes, you're right.
This is much less invasive.
471
00:33:39,750 --> 00:33:42,610
I've been thinking about
that sign on your forehead.
472
00:33:42,750 --> 00:33:46,740
And I was wondering if you'd mind taking
it down for dinner Friday night. Over.
473
00:33:47,190 --> 00:33:50,490
I can't. I have a couple of parties
I have to hit.
474
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:52,820
Gossip never sleeps.
475
00:33:53,330 --> 00:33:55,320
Not till about 4:00 a.m.
476
00:33:55,830 --> 00:33:57,130
Saturday.
477
00:34:00,130 --> 00:34:01,620
I have a date.
478
00:34:03,170 --> 00:34:06,070
Do you know the definition
of "perseverance," Miss Melas?
479
00:34:06,170 --> 00:34:08,270
An excuse to be obnoxious?
480
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,430
Continuing in a course of action...
481
00:34:10,540 --> 00:34:14,810
without regard to discouragement,
opposition or previous failure. Over.
482
00:34:15,180 --> 00:34:17,270
Okay, Webster, how do I get rid of you?
483
00:34:17,380 --> 00:34:20,350
Breakfast, Sunday.
And you can barely even call that a date.
484
00:34:20,490 --> 00:34:24,350
You do that with out-of-town relatives
that you don't even like. Over.
485
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:29,620
Come on.
486
00:34:32,130 --> 00:34:34,500
Okay, I guess I could do Sunday.
487
00:34:35,070 --> 00:34:37,430
You forgot to say "over." Over.
488
00:34:37,900 --> 00:34:40,960
This conversatiors over
as soon as you tell me when and where.
489
00:34:41,070 --> 00:34:44,040
7:00 a.m., North Cove Marina. Over and out.
490
00:34:44,510 --> 00:34:48,380
7:00 a.m.? Are you crazy?
I don't do 7:00 a.m.
491
00:34:50,350 --> 00:34:51,710
- Hello?
- Sign here.
492
00:34:52,150 --> 00:34:53,780
- What?
- You said Sunday, right?
493
00:34:53,890 --> 00:34:55,010
Yeah.
494
00:34:57,990 --> 00:35:00,460
What if I would have said Friday?
495
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:01,790
Sunday.
496
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,730
So I guess you're not going to church.
497
00:35:21,550 --> 00:35:24,240
Do you really expect me to wear this?
498
00:35:25,790 --> 00:35:28,310
It'll be awful cold out there without it.
499
00:35:28,420 --> 00:35:31,550
- Good morning.
- "Good" would have been at 10:00.
500
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:38,260
You're a lot taller than I remember.
501
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,330
You ever ride one of these?
502
00:35:40,430 --> 00:35:42,090
Not on the Hudson.
503
00:35:42,230 --> 00:35:45,230
So, what do you wanna do?
Race me around the Statue of Liberty?
504
00:35:45,370 --> 00:35:47,000
If there's time.
505
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:50,070
- But you might need these.
- All right.
506
00:35:50,210 --> 00:35:51,570
- Bam.
- Wow.
507
00:35:52,780 --> 00:35:54,270
How do I look?
508
00:35:55,550 --> 00:35:56,850
Fabulous.
509
00:35:58,650 --> 00:36:00,380
All right, I give.
510
00:36:01,220 --> 00:36:02,850
Where do I change?
511
00:36:03,820 --> 00:36:08,420
So we'll go past the wall, then take a left.
It's pretty much a straight shot from there.
512
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,790
- Straight shot to where?
- That's for me to know and you to find out.
513
00:36:11,930 --> 00:36:13,590
What you do with these babies is...
514
00:36:13,730 --> 00:36:16,930
Yeah, what I do with this baby
is kick your ass.
515
00:37:28,110 --> 00:37:31,510
- What happened? You change your mind?
- It just died.
516
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:34,310
Did you put gas in it?
517
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:38,840
No. You know, I think it must have
sucked up a diaper or something.
518
00:37:38,950 --> 00:37:41,420
Gross. Try it again.
519
00:37:45,220 --> 00:37:46,820
You want me to call AAA?
520
00:37:46,930 --> 00:37:49,420
Come on around
and let me hop on with you.
521
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:53,260
I don't know. What if you break mine, too?
Then we'll both be sitting ducks.
522
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:57,060
- I didn't break it. It just died.
- Yeah, yeah.
523
00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:59,190
All right, hop on.
524
00:38:00,810 --> 00:38:03,570
- Scoot back.
- Hitch, I' m already here.
525
00:38:04,140 --> 00:38:05,910
But you don't know where we're going.
526
00:38:06,050 --> 00:38:08,740
Why don't you tell me?
Then we'll both know.
527
00:38:11,550 --> 00:38:13,180
Man, male egos.
528
00:38:13,290 --> 00:38:16,120
I don't know how you guys
make it through the day with them.
529
00:38:16,260 --> 00:38:18,350
What? It is not my ego.
530
00:38:18,460 --> 00:38:21,220
I just don't want to ruin the surprise.
531
00:38:31,300 --> 00:38:34,070
I'm sorry. Are you all right?
532
00:38:36,180 --> 00:38:39,110
There. I always keep a few of those around.
533
00:38:39,250 --> 00:38:40,270
Thank you.
534
00:38:40,410 --> 00:38:44,370
I have lower back trouble. I just
shove the ice packs right down there.
535
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:46,820
No. That's a fresh one.
536
00:38:48,690 --> 00:38:50,380
So, Ellis Island.
537
00:38:50,660 --> 00:38:54,790
I have to admit, I have lived in New York
my whole life and I' ve never been here.
538
00:38:54,930 --> 00:38:56,450
I figured that. Most people haven't.
539
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:59,160
So I got my man Larry here
to set us up a private tour.
540
00:38:59,300 --> 00:39:01,290
- Great!
- Anything for Hitch.
541
00:39:02,940 --> 00:39:06,170
It was originally known as Oyster Island.
542
00:39:06,310 --> 00:39:08,970
The island was expanded
to its present size...
543
00:39:09,110 --> 00:39:13,240
with dirt removed during the construction
of the New York subway system.
544
00:39:13,980 --> 00:39:15,570
- Are you serious?
- Yes.
545
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:18,910
- Did you know this?
- Yeah. That's why I brought you here.
546
00:39:19,020 --> 00:39:23,820
In fact, over 100 million Americans
can trace their ancestry...
547
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:27,980
back to a single man, woman, or child
on the ship's manifest...
548
00:39:28,130 --> 00:39:30,150
to an inspector's ledger.
549
00:39:30,730 --> 00:39:35,690
By 1910, 75% of the
residents of New York...
550
00:39:35,830 --> 00:39:39,130
Chicago, Detroit, Cleveland, and Boston...
551
00:39:39,240 --> 00:39:42,040
were immigrants,
or the children of immigrants.
552
00:39:42,170 --> 00:39:45,700
They generally lived
in the poorest sections of the cities...
553
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:49,940
in Little Italys, Chinatowns
and other ethnic enclaves.
554
00:39:50,350 --> 00:39:52,540
It's called The Kissing Post.
555
00:39:53,090 --> 00:39:57,450
The plaque explains how different cultures
kiss after long absences.
556
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,660
Now, what exactly would qualify
as a long absence?
557
00:40:02,190 --> 00:40:03,560
I mean...
558
00:40:04,430 --> 00:40:06,860
- That count?
- No.
559
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:14,700
I actually had a relative
come through here.
560
00:40:15,270 --> 00:40:16,800
- Really?
- Yeah.
561
00:40:19,010 --> 00:40:20,140
What?
562
00:40:21,050 --> 00:40:24,210
- What?
- What was that thing?
563
00:40:25,420 --> 00:40:28,850
No. You know, I was just thinking...
564
00:40:29,290 --> 00:40:33,160
you can't really know where you're going
until you know where you've been.
565
00:40:33,260 --> 00:40:36,160
- Ain't that right, Larry?
- Amen, brother.
566
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:39,890
That's kind of deep for a first date,
don't you think?
567
00:40:43,370 --> 00:40:44,840
What is that?
568
00:41:03,420 --> 00:41:05,190
Oh, my God!
569
00:41:11,730 --> 00:41:16,430
That's my great-great-grandfather.
That's his signature.
570
00:41:16,570 --> 00:41:18,560
Jesus, it's right here!
571
00:41:21,570 --> 00:41:23,630
How did you know?
572
00:41:24,580 --> 00:41:27,600
Hitch did the search. I
just found the page.
573
00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:52,630
I'm sorry.
574
00:42:01,950 --> 00:42:05,180
I saw that going differently in my mind.
575
00:42:07,620 --> 00:42:12,080
So my family never saw him again.
Well, except for on the Wanted posters.
576
00:42:12,460 --> 00:42:14,820
Look, I' m really sorry.
577
00:42:15,330 --> 00:42:19,290
When I saw it on the computer,
it said, "the Butcher of Cadiz."
578
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:25,770
I thought it was a profession,
not a headline.
579
00:42:27,170 --> 00:42:31,840
It's just one of those horrible family
legacies we've all tried to forget.
580
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,010
But thank you.
581
00:42:34,150 --> 00:42:35,480
No, it was...
582
00:42:35,580 --> 00:42:37,670
- A train wreck.
- No.
583
00:42:37,820 --> 00:42:39,280
Let me get you a cab.
584
00:42:44,090 --> 00:42:45,350
Thanks.
585
00:42:47,660 --> 00:42:49,560
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
586
00:42:59,370 --> 00:43:00,500
Taxi!
587
00:43:04,210 --> 00:43:06,770
Poor guy.
Sounds like he went to a lot of trouble.
588
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:11,710
It was fun. In a disastrous kind of way.
I mean, this isn't exactly a hickey.
589
00:43:12,850 --> 00:43:15,980
At least you got a good story
out of it, right?
590
00:43:18,420 --> 00:43:19,480
Right?
591
00:43:19,590 --> 00:43:23,150
- You should try mine, it's great.
- Wait. You're seeing him again?
592
00:43:24,730 --> 00:43:28,500
Well, look, you said that
I'm always expecting men...
593
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:31,660
to let me down, right?
Assuming that they're gonna fail.
594
00:43:31,770 --> 00:43:33,240
Which he did.
595
00:43:34,070 --> 00:43:37,060
Yeah, but he did it with flair.
596
00:43:39,310 --> 00:43:42,110
I mean, Case, he really tanked.
597
00:43:42,210 --> 00:43:44,440
And that's a desirable trait?
598
00:43:45,220 --> 00:43:48,020
Yeah. Weird, huh?
599
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:53,150
Now, just keep it simple.
Just like we practiced.
600
00:43:53,290 --> 00:43:54,780
We're just leaving a message.
601
00:43:54,890 --> 00:43:58,120
Women like Allegra Cole
don't pick up numbers they don't recognize.
602
00:44:01,670 --> 00:44:02,830
Hello?
603
00:44:03,470 --> 00:44:05,200
She's on the phone!
604
00:44:07,810 --> 00:44:09,770
- Yes. Hello, Miss Cole?
- Yeah.
605
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:11,970
Hi, I have Albert Brennaman for you.
606
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:14,550
- One moment, please.
- No. Tell her I' m at lunch.
607
00:44:14,650 --> 00:44:17,580
We called her to tell her you're at lunch?
608
00:44:22,220 --> 00:44:26,280
Allegra. Hi, it's Albert Brennaman.
609
00:44:27,430 --> 00:44:29,050
Hi, how are you?
610
00:44:29,260 --> 00:44:31,490
Good. I' m doing good.
611
00:44:31,900 --> 00:44:34,960
The reason I' m calling
is about our appointment this Wednesday.
612
00:44:35,630 --> 00:44:37,430
Not gonna be able to make it.
613
00:44:38,540 --> 00:44:40,630
Well, when can you make it?
614
00:44:41,270 --> 00:44:42,710
When can I do it?
615
00:44:46,180 --> 00:44:49,480
I don't even know,
because my whole next week is slammed.
616
00:44:50,220 --> 00:44:52,880
Right. But it's all good.
617
00:44:55,290 --> 00:44:57,920
No, we're gonna make it happen though,
that's for sure.
618
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,420
We're going to make it happen. Yes.
619
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:10,670
What's going on over there?
620
00:45:10,770 --> 00:45:13,170
Just moving some things around.
621
00:45:15,240 --> 00:45:16,540
Sky Studios.
622
00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:20,040
Tonight I' m actually going
to this fashion thing at Sky Studios.
623
00:45:20,150 --> 00:45:21,410
Designer friend.
624
00:45:21,550 --> 00:45:25,610
I just thought it might be something your
designer friend would be interested in.
625
00:45:25,750 --> 00:45:27,080
Yeah, definitely.
626
00:45:27,220 --> 00:45:30,950
Well, great.
Then I will put you back on with my...
627
00:45:49,570 --> 00:45:51,870
- Allegra, over here, please.
- Miss Cole, this way.
628
00:45:51,980 --> 00:45:53,310
Great. One more.
629
00:45:53,410 --> 00:45:56,540
- Hi, there.
- This was a fantastic idea.
630
00:45:56,850 --> 00:45:59,210
I suppose. Hey, where's Maggie?
631
00:45:59,750 --> 00:46:01,280
Late as usual.
632
00:46:03,460 --> 00:46:07,220
Tonight I want you to meditate
on the image of an iceberg.
633
00:46:07,590 --> 00:46:09,420
Do you know why I want you to do that?
634
00:46:09,700 --> 00:46:11,390
Because I' m cool.
635
00:46:11,500 --> 00:46:13,330
- No.
- I know, I' m not.
636
00:46:14,100 --> 00:46:15,960
I'm saying that you are an iceberg...
637
00:46:16,100 --> 00:46:20,090
in that over 90% of your mass
is below the surface.
638
00:46:20,810 --> 00:46:22,900
I know I' m heavy. I am.
639
00:46:23,010 --> 00:46:26,440
I'm talking about who you are.
It's a metaphor.
640
00:46:26,550 --> 00:46:27,910
Accounting, business...
641
00:46:28,010 --> 00:46:32,610
all of that is just a small part
of a much deeper, richer Albert.
642
00:46:33,850 --> 00:46:35,150
One more.
643
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:37,820
It's gonna be loud in there...
644
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:40,580
so this is our opportunity
to break the touch barrier...
645
00:46:40,690 --> 00:46:41,950
in a non-sleazy way.
646
00:46:42,060 --> 00:46:45,090
So get to where it's loudest.
Ask her if she'd like a drink.
647
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:47,630
Lean in, place your hand
on the small of her back...
648
00:46:47,730 --> 00:46:49,530
and say it in her ear like a secret.
649
00:46:49,670 --> 00:46:53,070
Watch your hand placement.
Too high says, "I just wanna be friends."
650
00:46:53,170 --> 00:46:55,540
Too low says, "I just wanna grab some ass."
651
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,270
Friends. Ass. Me.
652
00:47:04,550 --> 00:47:07,040
Special issues: Allegra
Cole is a celebrity...
653
00:47:07,190 --> 00:47:10,640
which means that when people talk to her,
they'll ignore you completely.
654
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:12,520
She's classy, so she'll introduce you.
655
00:47:12,660 --> 00:47:16,180
When she does, shake hands hard
and speak up. Let them know you're there.
656
00:47:16,290 --> 00:47:18,160
Show her you can handle being her escort.
657
00:47:18,260 --> 00:47:21,460
- Egon, this is Albert.
- How you doing?
658
00:47:21,670 --> 00:47:23,900
- Albert, this is Zak.
- Nice to see you.
659
00:47:24,340 --> 00:47:26,200
These guys are friends with Maggie.
660
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:29,500
- Been to that new Brazilian restaurant?
- No, but I am...
661
00:47:29,610 --> 00:47:32,200
It's disgusting.
I'm writing an article about it.
662
00:47:33,380 --> 00:47:35,510
Did you see the new installation at MOMA?
663
00:47:35,750 --> 00:47:38,480
- Yes, did you think...
- Disgusting.
664
00:47:40,090 --> 00:47:43,320
Women can always tell
when you're not being real with them.
665
00:47:43,620 --> 00:47:47,110
Worst thing you can do is try to fake it,
because you are a great guy.
666
00:47:47,460 --> 00:47:50,830
And you do have something
to offer Allegra that no other man does.
667
00:47:51,730 --> 00:47:53,200
What was your name? Eggnog?
668
00:47:55,030 --> 00:47:56,160
Egon.
669
00:47:56,670 --> 00:48:00,600
What do you think of the design of the Jets'
new football stadium on the West Side?
670
00:48:01,140 --> 00:48:03,440
Let me guess. Disgusting?
671
00:48:04,340 --> 00:48:06,240
Think it over. We'll be back.
672
00:48:08,650 --> 00:48:11,780
Thank you. I can't stand those guys.
673
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:14,110
Really? I kind of liked them.
674
00:48:14,250 --> 00:48:16,050
But when all is said and done...
675
00:48:16,250 --> 00:48:18,850
tonight is not about Allegra.
676
00:48:19,660 --> 00:48:22,350
- It's not?
- No. Tonight is about Maggie.
677
00:48:22,730 --> 00:48:26,690
A womars best friend has to sign off
on all big relationship decisions.
678
00:48:26,870 --> 00:48:28,560
So you can't afford to mess this up.
679
00:48:28,670 --> 00:48:31,140
Albert, I want you to meet
my friend, Maggie.
680
00:48:31,670 --> 00:48:34,500
Hi, Maggie.
It's an absolute pleasure to meet you.
681
00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:36,000
I'm Maggie.
682
00:48:36,940 --> 00:48:40,070
- No, you're not.
- Actually, I am.
683
00:48:40,550 --> 00:48:43,980
Magnus Forester.
Thank you so much for inviting us.
684
00:48:46,250 --> 00:48:48,380
- You have very soft hands.
- Thank you.
685
00:48:50,690 --> 00:48:53,090
- Wow. So do you.
- Thank you.
686
00:48:53,190 --> 00:48:57,130
So tonight, you focus on one thing
and one thing only.
687
00:48:57,500 --> 00:48:58,390
Maggie.
688
00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:02,090
- Where does your inspiration come from?
- Oh, my God.
689
00:49:02,970 --> 00:49:04,490
Anything I see.
690
00:49:04,970 --> 00:49:08,670
Something in a magazine,
out on the street...
691
00:49:09,310 --> 00:49:10,370
in an old movie.
692
00:49:11,380 --> 00:49:14,970
The receptive nature of the
creative facility just astounds me.
693
00:49:15,810 --> 00:49:17,370
Anybody want any spring rolls?
694
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:20,820
That's a beautiful tie, by the way.
This whole thing, it just works.
695
00:49:21,150 --> 00:49:22,520
Thank you.
696
00:49:24,190 --> 00:49:26,950
- Is he gay?
- I don't think so.
697
00:49:28,630 --> 00:49:29,620
Ilike him.
698
00:49:29,730 --> 00:49:34,460
About the deejay.
Generally, I have a firm no-dancing policy.
699
00:49:34,570 --> 00:49:37,470
But if she asks, you cannot say no.
700
00:49:37,570 --> 00:49:40,440
I'm not worried about dancing.
But if there are people there...
701
00:49:40,540 --> 00:49:45,000
I'm sorry, I hate to be a stickler,
but I need to be thorough.
702
00:49:46,240 --> 00:49:48,770
Show me what you mean
by you're not worried about it.
703
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:51,110
Trust me. You know what I' m gonna do.
704
00:49:54,220 --> 00:49:56,310
That's what it's all about, right there.
705
00:49:57,060 --> 00:49:58,350
See how it gets bigger?
706
00:50:01,630 --> 00:50:03,150
Now I' m gonna start the fire.
707
00:50:03,500 --> 00:50:07,300
But the feet are going.
I start the fire, I make the pizza.
708
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:08,860
Hips are always going.
709
00:50:10,570 --> 00:50:11,830
Can't get enough hip.
710
00:50:12,070 --> 00:50:14,540
From there, the Q-Tip.
711
00:50:15,610 --> 00:50:18,940
Q-Tip. Throw it away.
712
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:21,700
That's not working, hit them with this.
713
00:50:30,460 --> 00:50:33,220
Don't ever...
714
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:35,250
do that again.
715
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:38,120
Do you hear me?
716
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:40,830
- Just expressing myself.
- No.
717
00:50:42,300 --> 00:50:45,500
Not like that, you're not, all right?
718
00:50:48,510 --> 00:50:49,940
This is where you live.
719
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:52,240
Right here.
720
00:50:52,340 --> 00:50:55,340
You live right here, okay? This is home.
721
00:50:55,980 --> 00:50:57,010
None of this.
722
00:50:57,650 --> 00:50:59,310
I don't wanna see none of that.
723
00:50:59,420 --> 00:51:01,510
Don't need no pizza. They got food there.
724
00:51:09,730 --> 00:51:12,820
Elbows, 6 inches from the waist,
90-degree angles.
725
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:15,660
Don't you bite your lip. Stop it.
726
00:51:35,350 --> 00:51:38,350
Women relate dancing to sex, all right?
727
00:51:38,460 --> 00:51:41,450
Even a great dancer can lose it
with one of these.
728
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:45,120
Okay, now that's what I
need to be learning.
729
00:51:56,240 --> 00:51:57,540
Can't stop it.
730
00:51:58,210 --> 00:52:00,070
You cannot stop it.
731
00:52:02,510 --> 00:52:03,670
Next subject.
732
00:52:05,780 --> 00:52:06,770
Get out.
733
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:13,150
Thanks.
734
00:52:13,590 --> 00:52:15,680
So, are you a Knicks fan?
735
00:52:17,730 --> 00:52:19,420
When they're good.
736
00:52:25,970 --> 00:52:28,130
- I' m really sorry.
- Oh, God. Why?
737
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:31,810
- She was there?
- I left you a bunch of messages.
738
00:52:32,310 --> 00:52:33,940
My phone fell in the Hudson.
739
00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:35,440
Yeah, well, it gets worse.
740
00:52:39,380 --> 00:52:40,440
I don't believe this.
741
00:52:40,550 --> 00:52:44,490
- I thought he was a bodyguard.
- I' m the only one who will need protection.
742
00:52:44,890 --> 00:52:47,290
- Max is gonna...
- Gonna be really irritated.
743
00:52:47,930 --> 00:52:51,420
When I got the train this morning,
I thought it was gonna be a good day.
744
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:54,870
Who the hell is Albert Brennaman?
745
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:58,600
- Tell me how this happened.
- What? There were some photographers.
746
00:52:58,740 --> 00:53:00,800
Does this even look like dancing to you?
747
00:53:01,210 --> 00:53:03,110
That's just a little bit of me being me.
748
00:53:03,240 --> 00:53:07,800
No, that's you being a lot of something
you don't need to ever be again.
749
00:53:08,150 --> 00:53:09,670
- It's just one dance.
- No.
750
00:53:10,350 --> 00:53:14,840
One dance, one look, one kiss.
That's all we get, Albert.
751
00:53:15,050 --> 00:53:17,720
Just one shot to make the difference...
752
00:53:17,820 --> 00:53:20,310
between happily ever after and:
753
00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:24,190
"Oh, he's just some guy
I went to some thing with once."
754
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:26,150
All right?
755
00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:34,570
- What?
- You said "kiss."
756
00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:38,770
Is that a problem?
757
00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:42,310
It's not a problem, but
this is Allegra Cole.
758
00:53:42,410 --> 00:53:44,750
Eight out of 10 women believe
that the first kiss...
759
00:53:44,850 --> 00:53:47,880
will tell them everything they need to know
about a relationship.
760
00:53:47,990 --> 00:53:51,420
And believe me,
she has definitely thought about it.
761
00:53:51,890 --> 00:53:54,220
- She has?
- Of course.
762
00:53:54,330 --> 00:53:57,950
Not that she's gonna act on it.
So it's no real big deal.
763
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:01,190
- All right, it's no big deal then.
- It's a very big deal.
764
00:54:01,300 --> 00:54:02,770
- Huge.
- Monumental.
765
00:54:02,870 --> 00:54:04,840
You are not listening...
766
00:54:06,300 --> 00:54:08,430
I need you to wrap your head around this.
767
00:54:08,540 --> 00:54:11,340
Tomorrow night, Allegra Cole...
768
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:15,340
could have her last first kiss.
769
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:28,620
All right, come on,
just show me what you got.
770
00:54:29,460 --> 00:54:32,120
- What do you mean?
- Just show me how you would kiss me.
771
00:54:32,900 --> 00:54:34,060
I wouldn't kiss you.
772
00:54:34,530 --> 00:54:35,970
I'm not me, I' m Allegra.
773
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:40,460
But you're really not, so...
774
00:54:40,570 --> 00:54:44,440
Okay, Albert, end of the night,
you're dropping me off at home.
775
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:47,270
- Show me the magic.
- I' m not comfortable with this.
776
00:54:47,380 --> 00:54:50,970
God, Albert,
I had such a wonderful time with you.
777
00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:52,780
Yeah, how about those Knicks?
778
00:54:53,750 --> 00:54:58,310
You see what I' m doing? This is a
signal I' m fiddling with my keys.
779
00:54:58,420 --> 00:55:00,020
A woman that doesn't want a kiss...
780
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:02,990
takes her keys out, puts them in the door,
goes in the house.
781
00:55:03,090 --> 00:55:05,190
A woman that wants to kiss, she fiddles.
782
00:55:06,530 --> 00:55:07,900
I'm fiddling.
783
00:55:08,030 --> 00:55:09,860
Okay, you have a good night now...
784
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:13,430
- You see what I' m doing?
- Robbing me?
785
00:55:13,540 --> 00:55:14,600
No.
786
00:55:14,940 --> 00:55:17,700
This is what most guys do.
They rush in to take the kiss.
787
00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:19,600
But you're not most guys.
788
00:55:20,410 --> 00:55:24,510
See, the secret to a kiss
is to go 90% of the way...
789
00:55:25,650 --> 00:55:26,840
and then hold.
790
00:55:31,860 --> 00:55:34,020
- For how long?
- As long as it takes...
791
00:55:34,590 --> 00:55:36,420
for her to come the other 10%.
792
00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:38,430
Okay, 90% -10%. Got it.
793
00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:41,860
Okay, come on. Shake it off.
It's your turn.
794
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:47,970
I had a really nice time tonight, Albert.
795
00:55:50,580 --> 00:55:53,810
I had a great time tonight, too, Allegra...
796
00:55:55,780 --> 00:55:57,250
with a beard.
797
00:56:30,750 --> 00:56:31,720
What's up?
798
00:56:32,620 --> 00:56:35,450
- I' m not feeling it.
- What do you mean? I came 90%.
799
00:56:35,590 --> 00:56:37,610
I'm not feeling like you want it.
800
00:56:37,720 --> 00:56:42,220
Look, I' m Allegra Cole,
the woman of your dreams.
801
00:56:42,330 --> 00:56:46,090
The woman whose green eyes
are limpid pools of desire.
802
00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:48,500
Now, show me the magic, Albert.
803
00:56:48,970 --> 00:56:51,370
- What the hell was that?
- I' m showing you the magic!
804
00:56:51,500 --> 00:56:53,600
No, I said come 90% and then I come 10%!
805
00:56:53,710 --> 00:56:55,260
You don't go the whole 100%!
806
00:56:55,370 --> 00:56:58,870
My mouth was open, Albert.
You overeager son of a...
807
00:57:02,410 --> 00:57:03,880
Other than that, how was it?
808
00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:08,080
They came together, they danced together,
and they left together.
809
00:57:08,590 --> 00:57:11,050
He's cute, in a sheepdog kind of way.
810
00:57:11,220 --> 00:57:13,210
For all I know, he's adorable.
811
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:15,790
But him dating her is...
812
00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:17,480
You seem stressed.
813
00:57:17,630 --> 00:57:19,360
You and I had an understanding.
814
00:57:19,460 --> 00:57:21,960
If you invite Allegra,
you're supposed to call me.
815
00:57:22,130 --> 00:57:23,620
I didn't invite her.
816
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:26,400
Honestly, sweetie,
I thought she was still in Europe.
817
00:57:26,500 --> 00:57:28,800
- So you invited Albert?
- No.
818
00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:33,500
Look, it says here the tickets
went to some guy named Alex Hitchens.
819
00:57:33,610 --> 00:57:34,640
What?
820
00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:47,390
Machine.
821
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:52,390
Hi, it's Sara.
822
00:57:55,730 --> 00:57:58,600
I just wanted to say thank you...
823
00:57:58,740 --> 00:58:03,440
for an unforgettable experience...
824
00:58:03,780 --> 00:58:04,900
the other day.
825
00:58:06,410 --> 00:58:08,810
And if you ever want to see
your shirt again...
826
00:58:08,910 --> 00:58:12,870
you can come by the Fulton Fish
Market tonight, around 8:00.
827
00:58:13,250 --> 00:58:15,220
Okay, bye.
828
00:58:18,790 --> 00:58:21,120
- Do you think he'll show?
- Yeah.
829
00:58:21,460 --> 00:58:24,290
He's too much of a player
to have a bad date on his record.
830
00:58:24,600 --> 00:58:27,460
Is this a source or a date?
831
00:58:28,670 --> 00:58:29,960
A source.
832
00:58:30,970 --> 00:58:32,630
Well, it sounded like a date.
833
00:58:33,670 --> 00:58:35,140
Well, it was supposed to.
834
00:58:38,310 --> 00:58:41,510
So it looks like a date
and it sounds like a date...
835
00:58:41,910 --> 00:58:45,010
- but it's not a date.
- Yeah. Right.
836
00:58:46,220 --> 00:58:47,380
Just checking.
837
00:59:07,570 --> 00:59:10,230
Hi. I wasn't sure you got my message.
838
00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:15,000
I wasn't sure you called the right guy.
You must be a glutton for punishment.
839
00:59:15,480 --> 00:59:18,110
Either that or I really wanna pay you back.
840
00:59:18,520 --> 00:59:20,380
I think this is yours.
841
00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:24,690
Thank you.
I'm gonna frame this for my wall of shame.
842
00:59:25,160 --> 00:59:27,220
Really? There's a whole wall?
843
00:59:27,490 --> 00:59:29,120
So what are we getting into?
844
00:59:31,630 --> 00:59:33,530
Ever been to a food rave before?
845
00:59:33,630 --> 00:59:37,570
Happens once a month, all around the city.
Different chefs, different venues.
846
00:59:37,770 --> 00:59:39,000
You any good in the kitchen?
847
00:59:39,140 --> 00:59:41,370
I can stand the heat,
if that's what you mean.
848
00:59:41,470 --> 00:59:45,270
Good. Because that's my boss
and his wife right over there.
849
00:59:45,540 --> 00:59:46,980
Interesting.
850
00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:51,150
Well, here's a concept:
We're paying to cook our own food.
851
00:59:51,280 --> 00:59:54,410
Here's another concept:
Shut up. It's an evening out.
852
00:59:54,520 --> 00:59:56,750
The longer you're married,
the less you go out.
853
00:59:56,850 --> 01:00:01,120
In a couple of years, we're gonna end up
bricked into our apartment like a Poe story.
854
01:00:02,130 --> 01:00:04,860
So, Louise, are you
in the newspaper business, also?
855
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:06,330
No, I' m a psychiatrist.
856
01:00:07,800 --> 01:00:11,100
Well, that's the last thing
I'm gonna say tonight.
857
01:00:11,900 --> 01:00:15,430
So, Sara, you never told me.
858
01:00:15,710 --> 01:00:19,540
How was the Sky Studio fashion thing
you went to the other night?
859
01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:22,980
Did you meet anyone worth mentioning?
860
01:00:23,380 --> 01:00:24,440
No.
861
01:00:26,150 --> 01:00:29,850
Really? I find that very odd.
862
01:00:30,390 --> 01:00:32,690
- Max.
- I think you're being odd.
863
01:00:32,820 --> 01:00:36,280
Well, I' m always odd.
It's why you married me.
864
01:00:36,430 --> 01:00:38,550
And it's why I married you.
865
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:41,290
Speaking of which, Hitch...
866
01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:45,230
what exactly are your intentions
for the lovely Sara?
867
01:00:45,370 --> 01:00:48,630
Wait, you know what?
Actually, there was someone.
868
01:00:51,110 --> 01:00:53,840
I think I met your friends
Albert and Allegra.
869
01:00:54,680 --> 01:00:57,380
- My friends who and who?
- Allegra Cole?
870
01:00:57,520 --> 01:00:59,710
Really? How do you know her?
871
01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:03,380
- I don't.
- So you know Albert?
872
01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:06,980
- Knew.
- He had your tickets.
873
01:01:07,090 --> 01:01:10,530
I mean, how well do you really
know your accountant?
874
01:01:11,730 --> 01:01:15,600
April 15, and then you don't see him again
till April 15.
875
01:01:17,100 --> 01:01:18,400
Ladies and gentlemen...
876
01:01:18,500 --> 01:01:21,700
a coquille St. Jacques
with a lemon butter reduction.
877
01:01:21,910 --> 01:01:24,030
- Compliments of our chef.
- Thank you.
878
01:01:24,140 --> 01:01:26,200
I'm sure you're really gonna enjoy this.
879
01:01:34,150 --> 01:01:35,480
That's really good.
880
01:01:36,520 --> 01:01:38,650
I'm very impressed.
881
01:01:39,860 --> 01:01:40,880
Why is that?
882
01:01:41,930 --> 01:01:46,630
Around these two, people usually can't wait
to name-drop and dish their friends...
883
01:01:46,730 --> 01:01:48,260
and you're being all discreet.
884
01:01:48,370 --> 01:01:50,490
Yeah, it's quite endearing.
885
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:53,430
Actually, it is.
So why don't we change the subject?
886
01:01:55,870 --> 01:01:58,900
- Are you all right?
- Yeah. No, I' m fine.
887
01:01:59,710 --> 01:02:03,650
So Sara tells me
that you're a consultant, Hitch.
888
01:02:04,220 --> 01:02:08,980
Yeah, mostly marketing, little advertising,
brand management.
889
01:02:10,020 --> 01:02:12,320
I have no idea what that means.
890
01:02:12,490 --> 01:02:15,290
No one does.
That's why I get to charge so much.
891
01:02:19,460 --> 01:02:21,290
Are you sure you're all right?
892
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:26,130
Yeah, I' m fine.
Is it itchy in here or is it just me?
893
01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:29,860
- I know what's happening.
- No.
894
01:02:30,310 --> 01:02:32,210
You think that I' m in a stressful state...
895
01:02:32,340 --> 01:02:34,500
because I' m trying to make
a good impression...
896
01:02:34,650 --> 01:02:37,810
while also dealing
with my commitment issues...
897
01:02:39,150 --> 01:02:42,090
trying to avoid
all these awkward conversations.
898
01:02:42,690 --> 01:02:45,320
No, I think you have food allergies.
899
01:02:48,690 --> 01:02:50,160
- Wow.
- What?
900
01:02:52,730 --> 01:02:54,860
- Benadryl Where's the Benadryl.
- Aisle 2.
901
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:57,660
- Which one's Aisle 2?
- The one with the big 2 over it.
902
01:02:57,770 --> 01:02:59,330
Sara, I' m fine.
903
01:02:59,470 --> 01:03:01,600
- You sure it's in Aisle 2?
- No.
904
01:03:01,770 --> 01:03:03,800
Really, it is not that serious.
905
01:03:07,880 --> 01:03:09,180
Benadryl.
906
01:03:10,210 --> 01:03:13,450
- A lot of Benadryl A lot.
- What? Are you...
907
01:03:27,970 --> 01:03:30,700
Coquille St. Jacques. Death on a leaf!
908
01:03:35,140 --> 01:03:36,230
Come on!
909
01:03:47,490 --> 01:03:49,280
Okay, we're doing fine.
910
01:03:49,390 --> 01:03:51,860
Just a couple more blocks
and you get to lie down.
911
01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:02,660
Wait, who sings that song again?
912
01:04:02,800 --> 01:04:04,630
Oh, girl Earth, Wind & Fire.
913
01:04:04,770 --> 01:04:06,600
You should let them sing it.
914
01:04:10,310 --> 01:04:14,040
I bet this would be great on the rocks.
It's good, right?
915
01:04:16,480 --> 01:04:19,450
I bet I can ask you
just about anything right now.
916
01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:20,740
No.
917
01:04:21,320 --> 01:04:23,380
I'm a vault, baby. Locked down.
918
01:04:25,260 --> 01:04:28,660
What is an heiress doing with a CPA?
919
01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:30,890
They're going to the Knicks game.
920
01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:33,530
Yep, Fort Knox.
921
01:04:35,370 --> 01:04:37,960
He loves her so much!
922
01:04:38,540 --> 01:04:40,060
I'm sure he does.
923
01:04:40,670 --> 01:04:45,010
I'm telling you, people search
their whole lives trying to find the...
924
01:04:45,140 --> 01:04:48,040
Reasons that we're here.
925
01:04:49,210 --> 01:04:50,480
I wouldn't know.
926
01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:52,920
You would if you saw it.
927
01:04:53,320 --> 01:04:56,880
Sometimes it's really hard
to see the forest through the sleaze.
928
01:04:58,160 --> 01:05:00,450
What about you? You ever been in love?
929
01:05:05,730 --> 01:05:06,860
Yep.
930
01:05:11,140 --> 01:05:12,900
But you're never gonna know that.
931
01:05:16,670 --> 01:05:19,670
Okay, I think you've had enough
of the juice box.
932
01:05:22,380 --> 01:05:23,710
Let's go.
933
01:05:30,690 --> 01:05:32,420
This is some place.
934
01:05:33,760 --> 01:05:35,050
You live here alone?
935
01:05:36,890 --> 01:05:41,490
Yeah. I actually prefer it that way.
What about you?
936
01:05:42,130 --> 01:05:46,430
I haven't had a roommate since college,
and he upped and married my sister.
937
01:05:46,570 --> 01:05:49,230
- Really?
- Yeah, they're gonna have a baby soon.
938
01:05:49,770 --> 01:05:51,240
Uncle Hitch.
939
01:05:52,910 --> 01:05:54,240
Thank you.
940
01:06:00,280 --> 01:06:03,220
- So, how do you feel.
- Good.
941
01:06:04,590 --> 01:06:05,850
Relaxed.
942
01:06:07,390 --> 01:06:09,050
So what about you? Any siblings?
943
01:06:11,400 --> 01:06:15,260
Sister. Maria. Lives in D.C.
944
01:06:17,570 --> 01:06:19,090
Younger, right?
945
01:06:21,840 --> 01:06:23,430
I could hear it in your voice.
946
01:06:25,010 --> 01:06:28,470
Sort of an innate protective thing.
947
01:06:30,920 --> 01:06:32,410
Yeah, I guess.
948
01:06:38,290 --> 01:06:39,280
What?
949
01:06:42,630 --> 01:06:43,960
She almost died once.
950
01:06:49,100 --> 01:06:50,260
I was 10.
951
01:06:59,180 --> 01:07:01,940
We were skating on the pond
behind our house...
952
01:07:02,380 --> 01:07:03,970
and she fell through the ice.
953
01:07:06,520 --> 01:07:07,920
My dad pulled her out.
954
01:07:12,190 --> 01:07:13,710
Gave her mouth-to-mouth.
955
01:07:17,460 --> 01:07:19,930
Longest three minutes of my life.
956
01:07:21,800 --> 01:07:23,320
Yeah, I' m sure.
957
01:07:29,570 --> 01:07:32,100
I don't think I' ve ever
really gotten over it.
958
01:07:35,880 --> 01:07:39,110
Kind of defines you, doesn't it?
959
01:07:44,150 --> 01:07:48,720
You know like,
one moment you're gliding along...
960
01:07:50,090 --> 01:07:54,030
the next moment you're standing in the rain
watching your life fall apart.
961
01:07:56,100 --> 01:07:57,430
Except it was snow.
962
01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:02,160
Yeah. That's what I said, "snow."
963
01:08:04,510 --> 01:08:05,600
You said "rain."
964
01:08:07,780 --> 01:08:10,140
Some kind of precipitation.
965
01:08:14,950 --> 01:08:16,510
Is that what happened to you?
966
01:08:21,030 --> 01:08:24,360
Nothing as dramatic
as falling through the ice.
967
01:08:28,400 --> 01:08:30,090
You know...
968
01:08:31,470 --> 01:08:32,990
it definitely...
969
01:08:36,770 --> 01:08:38,210
Left a scar?
970
01:08:40,480 --> 01:08:41,600
Yeah.
971
01:08:54,290 --> 01:08:57,780
I guess it's best just not
to love at all, right?
972
01:09:02,130 --> 01:09:03,430
Or skate.
973
01:09:31,530 --> 01:09:33,000
Are you here?
974
01:09:42,040 --> 01:09:47,140
Sara, you're such an idiot! You moron!
What the hell did you think?
975
01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:50,340
You're so stupid! You gotta learn, Sara.
976
01:09:50,480 --> 01:09:53,110
- When are you gonna learn...
- Should I come back later?
977
01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:58,780
Hi. I thought you left.
978
01:09:59,020 --> 01:10:03,620
Well, I did,
but then I came back with breakfast.
979
01:10:04,560 --> 01:10:07,720
I figured it was the least that I could do.
980
01:10:09,400 --> 01:10:11,890
I didn't know what you were drinking...
981
01:10:12,270 --> 01:10:17,000
so I got a grande cap, a latte,
an Earl Grey tea...
982
01:10:17,270 --> 01:10:19,440
and something with "chai" in the title.
983
01:10:21,450 --> 01:10:22,640
Tea for me.
984
01:10:22,750 --> 01:10:25,480
Tea. Yes! I was hoping you'd say that.
985
01:10:28,450 --> 01:10:31,720
Oh, God.
You're a morning person, aren't you?
986
01:10:32,920 --> 01:10:36,150
Well, like I always tell my clients:
987
01:10:36,260 --> 01:10:39,250
Begin each day as if it were on purpose.
988
01:10:46,970 --> 01:10:49,060
- Wow. Beautiful day.
- Yeah.
989
01:10:50,770 --> 01:10:53,210
- Beautiful girl.
- Thank you.
990
01:10:55,110 --> 01:10:57,010
Well, I' m this way.
991
01:10:57,480 --> 01:10:59,850
I'm that way.
992
01:11:01,150 --> 01:11:03,350
Give me a ring sometime.
993
01:11:05,260 --> 01:11:07,050
I mean, on the phone.
994
01:11:09,660 --> 01:11:12,290
No, I definitely will.
995
01:11:14,930 --> 01:11:16,060
Good.
996
01:11:45,360 --> 01:11:47,160
I gotta go to work.
997
01:11:56,940 --> 01:11:58,070
Bye.
998
01:12:00,640 --> 01:12:01,910
Goodbye.
999
01:12:26,700 --> 01:12:29,870
Can you believe what a
beautiful day it is...
1000
01:12:30,510 --> 01:12:31,770
not?
1001
01:12:31,880 --> 01:12:35,000
- What's wrong, pumpkin?
- I' m so stupid.
1002
01:12:35,680 --> 01:12:37,940
I ignored your advice. I went on that date.
1003
01:12:38,050 --> 01:12:39,070
With who?
1004
01:12:40,050 --> 01:12:41,640
Not the lingerie guy.
1005
01:12:41,750 --> 01:12:45,120
Vance Munson. And you're right,
there's no way he ever had a mother.
1006
01:12:45,260 --> 01:12:46,550
That bad?
1007
01:12:46,890 --> 01:12:51,050
He took me to Scalinatella,
and he was affectionate and sweet.
1008
01:12:51,560 --> 01:12:54,960
He told me all these intimate things,
like how he can't taste food...
1009
01:12:55,070 --> 01:12:56,560
and he wants three kids.
1010
01:12:56,700 --> 01:12:57,960
So you slept with him.
1011
01:12:59,270 --> 01:13:01,260
I never seen anybody get dressed that fast.
1012
01:13:01,370 --> 01:13:03,130
Case, I' m so sorry.
1013
01:13:05,010 --> 01:13:08,380
- Maybe I' II just die alone after all.
- No, you won't.
1014
01:13:08,510 --> 01:13:12,880
You'll meet a great guy with a great smile
and you'll travel the world together.
1015
01:13:13,020 --> 01:13:15,140
Who are you? Where's my best friend?
1016
01:13:15,250 --> 01:13:18,480
It's true. He just hasn't found you yet.
But he will.
1017
01:13:18,590 --> 01:13:22,320
Just as he's leaving, guess what he says:
"Date Doctor, my ass."
1018
01:13:22,430 --> 01:13:25,330
- What does that mean?
- It means he's really out there.
1019
01:13:25,430 --> 01:13:29,300
And if I ever meet him, the only date
he's gonna need is with a real doctor.
1020
01:13:41,950 --> 01:13:43,040
That's him.
1021
01:13:43,480 --> 01:13:45,570
Vance, is that you?
1022
01:13:46,280 --> 01:13:49,220
Yeah, hey there, beautiful
1023
01:13:49,320 --> 01:13:50,790
Sara Melas, from the Standard.
1024
01:13:50,920 --> 01:13:53,390
I'd like to discuss
the dating consultant you hired...
1025
01:13:53,490 --> 01:13:55,650
before you went out with Casey Sedgewick.
1026
01:13:59,200 --> 01:14:02,600
You don't wanna talk, that's fine.
I'm going to write this anyway.
1027
01:14:02,700 --> 01:14:05,500
You just earned yourself a photo
with a boldface caption.
1028
01:14:05,640 --> 01:14:07,070
What? Nice.
1029
01:14:07,170 --> 01:14:10,940
I can only imagine how the trading
floor guys will react when they see this.
1030
01:14:11,040 --> 01:14:12,770
You have no proof, no facts.
1031
01:14:12,880 --> 01:14:15,610
Vance, I' m a gossip columnist, not the DA.
1032
01:14:15,710 --> 01:14:18,480
Okay, how much will it cost me
to stay out of this?
1033
01:14:18,620 --> 01:14:20,410
I don't want money. I want a name.
1034
01:14:20,520 --> 01:14:22,850
- I don't know his name.
- Well, what do you know?
1035
01:14:25,790 --> 01:14:27,190
I know this.
1036
01:14:33,560 --> 01:14:35,620
All this for a lousy lay.
1037
01:14:36,130 --> 01:14:37,430
Are we satisfied?
1038
01:14:39,170 --> 01:14:40,360
Almost.
1039
01:14:44,210 --> 01:14:47,110
No, you... You got to be...
1040
01:14:52,980 --> 01:14:54,380
Is this really necessary?
1041
01:14:55,020 --> 01:14:56,490
Have you seen your back?
1042
01:14:56,590 --> 01:15:00,390
No, but I see my front and maybe
we should be starting with some sit-ups.
1043
01:15:01,190 --> 01:15:02,820
God! Mother of Troy!
1044
01:15:06,360 --> 01:15:07,560
Hello?
1045
01:15:09,030 --> 01:15:12,830
That's crazy.
Just hearing your voice makes me smile.
1046
01:15:12,940 --> 01:15:14,230
How are you?
1047
01:15:14,370 --> 01:15:16,530
I'm good, I think.
1048
01:15:16,770 --> 01:15:20,300
No, actually, you know what?
I feel a little strange.
1049
01:15:22,510 --> 01:15:23,810
I'm good.
1050
01:15:25,220 --> 01:15:26,580
Sweet Georgia Brown!
1051
01:15:26,720 --> 01:15:27,840
What was that?
1052
01:15:27,950 --> 01:15:31,010
No, that's just some guy screaming.
1053
01:15:32,190 --> 01:15:34,020
Listen, is there any context...
1054
01:15:34,120 --> 01:15:39,220
under which you'd consider facial edema
and pharmaceutical intervention a date?
1055
01:15:40,560 --> 01:15:42,000
Probably not.
1056
01:15:42,100 --> 01:15:43,360
How about a do-over?
1057
01:15:43,470 --> 01:15:46,400
- What do you have in mind?
- Dinner, my place.
1058
01:15:46,640 --> 01:15:50,230
Because obviously going anywhere public
with you is out of the question.
1059
01:15:51,170 --> 01:15:53,940
God! That's it. I don't like you very much.
1060
01:15:54,040 --> 01:15:55,410
What is that?
1061
01:15:55,550 --> 01:15:56,740
Wait, I' m getting up.
1062
01:15:57,110 --> 01:15:59,510
It's like one of those makeover shows.
1063
01:15:59,620 --> 01:16:01,710
- That's a makeover show?
- It's Danish.
1064
01:16:01,820 --> 01:16:03,510
Almost done!
1065
01:16:04,550 --> 01:16:05,750
Friday?
1066
01:16:05,990 --> 01:16:10,720
Can't. I told a friend I' d go speed
dating. You know, for moral support.
1067
01:16:10,990 --> 01:16:12,550
But tomorrow I' m free.
1068
01:16:13,930 --> 01:16:15,860
Great. All right, 8:00?
1069
01:16:16,130 --> 01:16:17,120
Great.
1070
01:16:17,270 --> 01:16:20,070
- All right. Bye-bye.
- Bye.
1071
01:16:25,410 --> 01:16:28,610
- See, it wasn't so bad, was it?
- God!
1072
01:16:33,020 --> 01:16:35,580
Ball is back in play
after a 20-second timeout.
1073
01:16:35,690 --> 01:16:39,820
Knicks lead the Grizzlies, 12-6,
here early in the first quarter.
1074
01:16:49,630 --> 01:16:52,190
- So this is what this feels like?
- "This" being?
1075
01:16:52,840 --> 01:16:54,960
Great seats, great game.
1076
01:16:56,540 --> 01:16:58,410
Great date.
1077
01:17:00,610 --> 01:17:02,240
I mean, sort of.
1078
01:17:02,880 --> 01:17:05,210
To me, it feels like a...
1079
01:17:05,880 --> 01:17:07,910
- Date?
- Yeah.
1080
01:17:13,790 --> 01:17:15,520
Look at her. She looks so happy.
1081
01:17:16,390 --> 01:17:18,950
How does a guy like that end up
with a girl like her?
1082
01:17:25,070 --> 01:17:28,270
I am so jealous.
I've always wanted to be able to do that.
1083
01:17:28,610 --> 01:17:31,700
Really? Tonight is your lucky night.
Let's see what you got.
1084
01:17:31,810 --> 01:17:33,470
Okay. You ready?
1085
01:17:36,350 --> 01:17:39,610
- Oh, God. I' m sorry.
- It's fine.
1086
01:17:39,720 --> 01:17:41,880
Knicks off to a great start...
1087
01:17:42,020 --> 01:17:43,510
All right, here's how it works.
1088
01:17:43,620 --> 01:17:47,850
Central Park Zoo, tomorrow, noon,
by the sea lions.
1089
01:17:49,060 --> 01:17:50,690
No, don't worry. I' II find you.
1090
01:17:51,230 --> 01:17:53,030
All right. Thank you.
1091
01:18:11,620 --> 01:18:13,950
It's all right. I' m sorry.
1092
01:18:14,320 --> 01:18:15,680
Damn me.
1093
01:18:20,120 --> 01:18:22,520
That was it! You got it. Do it again.
1094
01:18:24,230 --> 01:18:25,590
Look how cute they are.
1095
01:18:56,930 --> 01:18:58,120
Thanks.
1096
01:19:14,510 --> 01:19:16,640
I had a great time tonight, Albert.
1097
01:19:17,810 --> 01:19:20,510
I had a great time, too, Allegra.
1098
01:19:41,240 --> 01:19:42,670
Good night.
1099
01:19:43,170 --> 01:19:44,500
Good night, Albert.
1100
01:19:58,190 --> 01:20:00,350
- Allegra.
- Yes?
1101
01:20:04,560 --> 01:20:05,820
Hold on.
1102
01:20:28,020 --> 01:20:29,680
Ilike your lips.
1103
01:20:33,790 --> 01:20:35,490
They seem to like you, too.
1104
01:20:43,970 --> 01:20:45,370
Good night.
1105
01:20:46,040 --> 01:20:47,400
Good night.
1106
01:21:23,610 --> 01:21:25,800
- Anything?
- Not yet.
1107
01:21:26,610 --> 01:21:29,100
But I got some great shots
of you biting your nails.
1108
01:21:29,510 --> 01:21:30,880
Well, it's a big story.
1109
01:21:32,850 --> 01:21:34,410
- Incoming.
- Really?
1110
01:21:34,520 --> 01:21:35,810
Yep. They're shaking hands.
1111
01:21:35,950 --> 01:21:38,280
This is so great. I can't
wait to nail this guy.
1112
01:21:38,420 --> 01:21:40,410
Make sure you get a good shot of his face.
1113
01:21:40,520 --> 01:21:42,920
- What's he look like?
- Tall, dark, and handsome.
1114
01:21:43,090 --> 01:21:44,690
Basic principles:
1115
01:21:44,830 --> 01:21:47,190
No matter what, no matter who,
no matter when.
1116
01:21:47,330 --> 01:21:49,030
This is killing me.
1117
01:21:49,170 --> 01:21:50,830
Geoff is managing to play it straight.
1118
01:21:50,970 --> 01:21:52,760
How long have you been in love with her?
1119
01:21:52,870 --> 01:21:56,530
Her? About two-and-a-half years.
1120
01:21:59,210 --> 01:22:00,370
Take a look.
1121
01:22:08,490 --> 01:22:11,650
- How'd you get my card?
- Albert Brennaman.
1122
01:22:11,750 --> 01:22:13,780
- Great guy, isn't he?
- Excellent guy.
1123
01:22:16,190 --> 01:22:17,630
What? Sara.
1124
01:22:23,900 --> 01:22:27,130
- Pleasure to meet you, Geoff.
- Hey, what...
1125
01:22:31,740 --> 01:22:35,340
- How'd you get my card?
- Albert Brennaman.
1126
01:22:35,580 --> 01:22:37,740
- Great guy, isn't he?
- Excellent guy.
1127
01:22:40,080 --> 01:22:41,640
You sure you want to do this?
1128
01:22:42,390 --> 01:22:43,410
Why wouldn't I
1129
01:22:46,920 --> 01:22:51,380
Louise made an interesting observation
on the way home the other night.
1130
01:22:52,530 --> 01:22:55,990
She said people who are guarded
are afraid...
1131
01:22:57,030 --> 01:22:58,970
that you can see right through them.
1132
01:22:59,100 --> 01:23:03,370
That's why they hide behind
layers of secrecy or humor.
1133
01:23:03,570 --> 01:23:06,940
He'll have to hide behind a lot more
than that once this hits the fan.
1134
01:23:07,710 --> 01:23:08,900
She meant you.
1135
01:23:14,250 --> 01:23:15,680
What do you want me to say?
1136
01:23:17,220 --> 01:23:21,380
That I like the guy?
Yeah, sure, I liked the guy.
1137
01:23:23,130 --> 01:23:25,560
Well, here's his shirt.
1138
01:23:27,630 --> 01:23:31,590
- Why don't you think about it? Call me.
- Thanks.
1139
01:23:43,410 --> 01:23:45,640
Papi, Sara Melas is here to see you.
1140
01:23:47,150 --> 01:23:50,210
Thanks a lot, Raoul Send her up.
And stop calling me papi.
1141
01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:05,300
Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes.
1142
01:24:06,600 --> 01:24:08,760
I believe this belongs to you.
1143
01:24:12,980 --> 01:24:15,600
Yeah, this thing is like a bad penny.
1144
01:24:15,710 --> 01:24:16,840
Wow!
1145
01:24:17,980 --> 01:24:19,470
So this is it.
1146
01:24:20,180 --> 01:24:21,840
Yeah, this is it.
1147
01:24:23,690 --> 01:24:25,590
Business must be good.
1148
01:24:26,220 --> 01:24:28,820
Well, it has its rewards.
1149
01:24:30,660 --> 01:24:31,990
I'll bet.
1150
01:24:33,460 --> 01:24:34,790
Tough day?
1151
01:24:35,870 --> 01:24:37,160
You could say that.
1152
01:24:38,640 --> 01:24:41,760
Well, you know what?
You can just sit back and relax.
1153
01:24:41,870 --> 01:24:43,700
I got this all covered.
1154
01:24:46,880 --> 01:24:49,370
Spanish wine!
1155
01:24:51,180 --> 01:24:53,810
How thoughtful are we?
1156
01:24:53,920 --> 01:24:56,820
- Here, let me pour that for you.
- No, that's okay.
1157
01:24:57,420 --> 01:25:00,150
- You want some?
- Sure.
1158
01:25:01,920 --> 01:25:04,050
So, Hitch.
1159
01:25:04,730 --> 01:25:08,130
Is that a noun or a verb?
1160
01:25:10,830 --> 01:25:12,100
I guess it depends.
1161
01:25:14,700 --> 01:25:18,500
Let's see, what should we toast to?
1162
01:25:21,680 --> 01:25:24,580
Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink.
1163
01:25:25,580 --> 01:25:28,780
But if you must lie,
lie in the arms of the one you love.
1164
01:25:29,720 --> 01:25:32,650
If you must steal,
steal away from bad company.
1165
01:25:32,760 --> 01:25:35,520
If you must cheat, cheat death.
1166
01:25:36,430 --> 01:25:37,790
And if you must drink...
1167
01:25:38,360 --> 01:25:41,590
drink in the moments
that take your breath away.
1168
01:25:43,870 --> 01:25:45,420
Did you just make that up?
1169
01:25:57,850 --> 01:25:59,250
Make yourself at home.
1170
01:25:59,920 --> 01:26:02,250
I'm gonna check on the risotto.
1171
01:26:03,990 --> 01:26:07,220
Look at this! Which one's the music?
1172
01:26:14,530 --> 01:26:16,330
It does lights, too?
1173
01:26:18,500 --> 01:26:20,990
Let me help you out with that.
1174
01:26:21,140 --> 01:26:23,800
Now, this is nifty.
1175
01:26:25,440 --> 01:26:26,740
What are you doing?
1176
01:26:27,210 --> 01:26:29,300
How does it work, exactly?
1177
01:26:30,950 --> 01:26:35,850
Well, usually you have dinner,
then you have dessert.
1178
01:26:36,720 --> 01:26:40,090
No, I mean your thriving business.
1179
01:26:44,530 --> 01:26:45,930
I don't do interviews.
1180
01:26:47,860 --> 01:26:51,600
But if you'd like to get back to the
evening, I'd be happy to sit and talk.
1181
01:26:51,700 --> 01:26:53,640
Great idea. You start.
1182
01:26:54,940 --> 01:26:59,470
Well, maybe I would if
you weren't snarling.
1183
01:27:06,050 --> 01:27:08,020
What if I told you...
1184
01:27:08,120 --> 01:27:13,050
that I know exactly what you do
and how you do it?
1185
01:27:13,190 --> 01:27:15,090
And I think it's despicable!
1186
01:27:15,190 --> 01:27:18,020
You know what?
We might need to go out to dinner.
1187
01:27:18,160 --> 01:27:21,720
There's a great seafood restaurant
I'd love to take you to.
1188
01:27:23,770 --> 01:27:25,890
How about you just get a cleaver, butcher?
1189
01:27:26,440 --> 01:27:29,410
- Maybe I will!
- What the hell is wrong with you?
1190
01:27:29,540 --> 01:27:31,370
Nothing a front-page story can't cure.
1191
01:27:31,510 --> 01:27:32,910
So that's what this is all about?
1192
01:27:33,040 --> 01:27:35,840
Albert and Allegra
on the front of your crap-ass newspaper?
1193
01:27:35,950 --> 01:27:37,740
- You put them there!
- No, you did!
1194
01:27:37,880 --> 01:27:40,540
No, he did! The minute he called you!
1195
01:28:08,110 --> 01:28:10,170
Dr. Hitch. Listen to me, papi.
1196
01:28:10,280 --> 01:28:14,270
I need to bring my partner, Amir,
somewhere amazing for our anniversary.
1197
01:28:14,950 --> 01:28:17,850
Maybe it's not your thing, but maybe it is.
1198
01:28:17,950 --> 01:28:19,920
What the hell are you talking about, Raoul.
1199
01:28:20,060 --> 01:28:21,550
It's you, no?
1200
01:28:42,080 --> 01:28:46,040
So, my friend, how was she? Pretty good?
1201
01:28:50,150 --> 01:28:52,640
How was she? I' II tell you! She was great!
1202
01:29:07,140 --> 01:29:08,400
Isn't that the Date Doctor?
1203
01:29:08,500 --> 01:29:11,630
- I' m telling you, that's him.
- He doesn't look anything like him.
1204
01:29:11,770 --> 01:29:14,400
- Excuse me. Do you know him?
- No.
1205
01:29:14,880 --> 01:29:18,470
I want you to look me in the eye
and tell me that he did not hire you.
1206
01:29:18,610 --> 01:29:22,410
Ma'am, I have never seen this man
before in my life.
1207
01:29:22,520 --> 01:29:23,580
See you later, Tony.
1208
01:29:23,690 --> 01:29:26,280
Tony? You have got
some serious explaining to do.
1209
01:29:26,390 --> 01:29:28,360
Albert. Hitch. You all right?
1210
01:29:28,490 --> 01:29:31,290
I can't really talk right now.
I'm kind of tied up.
1211
01:29:31,390 --> 01:29:33,360
One, two. On three.
1212
01:29:41,400 --> 01:29:43,270
Women will remain seated.
1213
01:29:43,370 --> 01:29:46,540
Men will rotate to the left at the buzzer.
1214
01:29:46,840 --> 01:29:48,870
You get two minutes each,
four minutes total.
1215
01:29:49,010 --> 01:29:52,570
So trade your talk time when you hear...
1216
01:29:54,850 --> 01:29:56,040
the gong.
1217
01:29:56,190 --> 01:29:58,090
If it's mutual, you get numbers.
1218
01:29:58,220 --> 01:30:01,710
If not, better luck next time, okay?
1219
01:30:02,590 --> 01:30:05,060
Ladies, take your seats.
1220
01:30:06,430 --> 01:30:11,090
Case, you are a living testimonial
to the triumph of hope over experience.
1221
01:30:11,230 --> 01:30:12,390
Thanks for coming.
1222
01:30:12,540 --> 01:30:15,730
I know it's lame. I' m sure it's the
last thing you feel like doing.
1223
01:30:16,010 --> 01:30:19,960
I really prefer Rachmaninoff
to the heavier romantic composers.
1224
01:30:20,140 --> 01:30:23,200
But despite the pan-Germanic
anti-Semitism...
1225
01:30:23,310 --> 01:30:26,410
I'd still have to say
my favorite is Wagner.
1226
01:30:28,750 --> 01:30:31,240
- Nice talking to you.
- Thank you. Bye.
1227
01:30:31,390 --> 01:30:32,450
Bye.
1228
01:30:34,320 --> 01:30:35,590
Excuse me.
1229
01:30:36,160 --> 01:30:37,750
That's my seat, man.
1230
01:30:39,900 --> 01:30:41,890
My name is Ron. I' m 28.
1231
01:30:42,000 --> 01:30:44,520
Albert Brennaman is a good man.
1232
01:30:44,670 --> 01:30:47,430
In fact, Albert Brennaman is a great man.
1233
01:30:47,570 --> 01:30:50,270
I just got out of a five-year relationship.
1234
01:30:50,410 --> 01:30:53,270
I'm a lot of fun at parties. I like dogs...
1235
01:30:53,410 --> 01:30:56,070
And then you're mad at me
for what I do for a living?
1236
01:30:56,180 --> 01:30:57,540
I've already got your number...
1237
01:30:57,650 --> 01:31:00,240
so why don't you go
consult your conscience?
1238
01:31:00,350 --> 01:31:03,110
- Albert is in love with her.
- Just like Sebastian?
1239
01:31:03,250 --> 01:31:05,150
- Is there a problem?
- No, just one sec.
1240
01:31:05,290 --> 01:31:08,050
- What do you have against Allegra anyway?
- Nothing.
1241
01:31:08,160 --> 01:31:11,250
My interest is protecting women
from assholes like you.
1242
01:31:11,360 --> 01:31:13,060
I did ice climbing once.
1243
01:31:13,160 --> 01:31:15,460
- You don't even know me.
- And whose fault is that?
1244
01:31:15,600 --> 01:31:18,400
...the sun comes up,
the ice really starts to fall apart.
1245
01:31:18,500 --> 01:31:19,730
I bet. I' m sorry.
1246
01:31:19,840 --> 01:31:21,930
- Do you know this guy?
- Apparently not.
1247
01:31:22,040 --> 01:31:23,670
You're in my seat.
1248
01:31:23,810 --> 01:31:27,300
You really...
I'm doing you a favor, believe me.
1249
01:31:27,440 --> 01:31:31,570
Basically, I like outdoor sports.
But indoor sports have their place, too.
1250
01:31:31,680 --> 01:31:34,340
There are certain aspects of my job
that are secretive.
1251
01:31:34,480 --> 01:31:36,610
And my job is to try to find the truth.
1252
01:31:36,720 --> 01:31:40,350
The truth? You wouldn't know the truth
if it kicked you in the head.
1253
01:31:40,490 --> 01:31:43,080
If Albert Brennaman has to
take a fall for it, so be it.
1254
01:31:43,190 --> 01:31:45,420
Why don't you say
what's really pissing you off?
1255
01:31:45,530 --> 01:31:47,020
I've been waiting to talk to her...
1256
01:31:47,160 --> 01:31:49,630
- You want to sit down? Here you go. Gong!
- Thank you.
1257
01:31:49,730 --> 01:31:50,790
Excuse me.
1258
01:31:50,900 --> 01:31:53,960
Hi. Actually, you're not supposed to move.
1259
01:31:54,070 --> 01:31:56,830
I'm Alex Hitchens. No, it's okay. Go.
1260
01:31:56,970 --> 01:31:58,530
- I' m Casey.
- Hi, Casey.
1261
01:31:58,670 --> 01:32:01,640
I work for a small publishing house
in the press department...
1262
01:32:01,740 --> 01:32:04,800
which isn't actually where I want to be.
But it's a good house...
1263
01:32:04,910 --> 01:32:07,470
You handled me. You manipulated me.
1264
01:32:07,580 --> 01:32:11,210
You researched me and you showed me
my great-grandfather's signature.
1265
01:32:11,350 --> 01:32:13,480
Wait. You're Ellis Island?
1266
01:32:13,590 --> 01:32:15,490
- I thought that was real sweet.
- Thank you.
1267
01:32:15,590 --> 01:32:17,250
Case, you're not helping.
1268
01:32:17,360 --> 01:32:18,990
Excuse me, I' m on a date.
1269
01:32:20,330 --> 01:32:23,990
Does it ever occur to women that maybe
a guy might like to have a plan...
1270
01:32:24,100 --> 01:32:25,570
because he's nervous?
1271
01:32:25,700 --> 01:32:29,660
He's not sure that he could just walk
up to you and you'd respond if he said:
1272
01:32:29,770 --> 01:32:31,240
"I like you."
1273
01:32:35,680 --> 01:32:38,770
- That sounds good to me.
- True, you can't tell them you like them.
1274
01:32:38,880 --> 01:32:42,080
- I tried that. It didn't go well.
- I' ve crashed and burned on that.
1275
01:32:42,220 --> 01:32:44,880
That is what you did, and I did like you!
1276
01:32:45,020 --> 01:32:48,050
I just didn't know I was being worked over
by some professional.
1277
01:32:48,160 --> 01:32:49,520
He doesn't have a badge.
1278
01:32:50,190 --> 01:32:52,220
The only time he was sincere
or spontaneous...
1279
01:32:52,360 --> 01:32:56,160
was when everything was going wrong
or when you were stoned out of your head.
1280
01:32:56,270 --> 01:32:59,560
- I' m sorry to interrupt. Do I know you?
- No, I don't think so.
1281
01:32:59,700 --> 01:33:02,570
- You wanna see me be spontaneous?
- Sure, you want a Benadryl.
1282
01:33:02,710 --> 01:33:07,270
This is really kind of distracting.
And I haven't gotten laid in a year!
1283
01:33:13,620 --> 01:33:16,450
We're sorry.
Why don't you guys get back to your date?
1284
01:33:17,320 --> 01:33:19,690
Or go somewhere.
1285
01:33:20,760 --> 01:33:21,980
Maybe from the bank?
1286
01:33:22,590 --> 01:33:26,360
If this doesn't work out, call him.
He might hook you up with Paris Hilton.
1287
01:33:26,460 --> 01:33:29,800
Wait, that's it. You're
the Date Doctor, right?
1288
01:33:34,440 --> 01:33:37,410
- You're the Date Doctor?
- Do we have a problem here?
1289
01:33:37,510 --> 01:33:42,100
Yeah, a big one!
What the hell did I ever do to you?
1290
01:33:44,080 --> 01:33:45,480
Am I missing something?
1291
01:33:45,980 --> 01:33:48,040
Sir, I' m gonna have to ask you to leave.
1292
01:33:48,350 --> 01:33:50,980
Why don't you go hit a titty bar
with your buddy Vance?
1293
01:33:56,830 --> 01:33:57,920
Wow.
1294
01:33:59,830 --> 01:34:01,020
I don't believe this.
1295
01:34:04,670 --> 01:34:06,030
That's your source?
1296
01:34:06,940 --> 01:34:08,460
You buried yourself, Alex.
1297
01:34:09,140 --> 01:34:10,800
Then you weren't listening.
1298
01:34:10,940 --> 01:34:13,140
I heard every word.
1299
01:34:13,640 --> 01:34:15,270
You're a scam artist.
1300
01:34:15,380 --> 01:34:18,940
- You trick women into getting...
- Into getting out of their own way...
1301
01:34:19,050 --> 01:34:22,480
so great guys like Albert Brennaman
have a fighting chance.
1302
01:34:22,620 --> 01:34:26,150
No, I want everybody
to take a good look at this right now.
1303
01:34:26,290 --> 01:34:27,760
Because this right here...
1304
01:34:27,860 --> 01:34:31,850
this is exactly why falling in love
is so goddamn hard.
1305
01:34:33,330 --> 01:34:35,260
Sir, let's go. Now.
1306
01:34:38,300 --> 01:34:40,730
And Vance Munson is a pig!
1307
01:34:40,840 --> 01:34:43,170
And I refused to work with him.
1308
01:34:43,910 --> 01:34:45,640
You need to get your facts right.
1309
01:34:47,910 --> 01:34:51,000
It's because of jerks like him
that I even have a job.
1310
01:34:54,050 --> 01:34:55,380
Had a job.
1311
01:35:08,230 --> 01:35:09,660
Can you believe that guy?
1312
01:35:10,930 --> 01:35:13,560
Actually, I do.
1313
01:35:34,960 --> 01:35:36,190
You...
1314
01:35:37,860 --> 01:35:39,660
complete me.
1315
01:35:41,200 --> 01:35:43,600
- I might just have...
- Shut up.
1316
01:35:44,300 --> 01:35:45,770
Just shut up.
1317
01:35:46,740 --> 01:35:48,730
You had me at "hello."
1318
01:36:16,900 --> 01:36:18,260
No comment.
1319
01:36:22,810 --> 01:36:26,760
This is off the record.
1320
01:36:32,080 --> 01:36:33,880
I came to apologize.
1321
01:36:34,120 --> 01:36:36,610
I made some assumptions about you...
1322
01:36:36,750 --> 01:36:39,620
based on nothing, it turns out.
1323
01:36:42,460 --> 01:36:46,290
- I guess Casey's right. My best friend...
- Don't worry about it. We're straight.
1324
01:36:47,600 --> 01:36:51,620
I should 've asked you.
But sometimes you're so guarded.
1325
01:36:51,770 --> 01:36:55,170
I just don't wanna be another reason
for you to...
1326
01:36:56,210 --> 01:37:00,340
I'm not someone who likes to get involved
past a certain point.
1327
01:37:00,510 --> 01:37:04,310
And that point was about a week ago.
1328
01:37:10,390 --> 01:37:14,980
Well, I just want to say
I' m really sorry...
1329
01:37:16,560 --> 01:37:18,120
and I didn't mean to hurt you.
1330
01:37:20,700 --> 01:37:22,100
You didn't.
1331
01:37:26,240 --> 01:37:27,460
That's a relief.
1332
01:37:56,530 --> 01:37:59,470
- Hey, fella.
- Yeah, good. You?
1333
01:38:02,140 --> 01:38:03,330
What you got there?
1334
01:38:03,470 --> 01:38:08,140
This? I figured maybe if my heart
stops beating, it wouldn't hurt so much.
1335
01:38:09,680 --> 01:38:10,980
She hasn't called back?
1336
01:38:15,420 --> 01:38:16,750
You want some coffee?
1337
01:38:22,190 --> 01:38:23,390
I want you to fix it.
1338
01:38:28,030 --> 01:38:29,290
I got nothing, Albert.
1339
01:38:31,370 --> 01:38:33,800
You wanna do something?
We should get out tonight.
1340
01:38:33,900 --> 01:38:36,960
Honestly, I never knew I
could feel like this.
1341
01:38:37,070 --> 01:38:39,670
I swear I' m going out of my mind.
1342
01:38:41,210 --> 01:38:43,640
I wanna throw myself off
of every building in New York.
1343
01:38:43,750 --> 01:38:48,240
I see a cab and I wanna dive in front of it,
because then I' II stop thinking about her.
1344
01:38:48,350 --> 01:38:51,080
Look, you will. Just give it time.
1345
01:38:51,190 --> 01:38:53,550
That's just it. I don't want to.
1346
01:38:54,020 --> 01:38:57,120
I've waited my whole life
to feel this miserable.
1347
01:38:57,290 --> 01:38:59,990
If this is the only way
I can stay connected with her...
1348
01:39:00,100 --> 01:39:01,650
then this is who I have to be.
1349
01:39:01,800 --> 01:39:05,890
No, you don't.
You can change, you can adapt.
1350
01:39:06,540 --> 01:39:09,230
You can make it
so you don't ever have to feel like this.
1351
01:39:09,340 --> 01:39:10,330
Ever again.
1352
01:39:20,820 --> 01:39:22,980
Oh, my God. You just don't get it, do you?
1353
01:39:23,990 --> 01:39:25,280
I get it.
1354
01:39:26,790 --> 01:39:28,190
Let me get this straight.
1355
01:39:28,360 --> 01:39:31,620
You're selling this stuff,
but you don't believe in your own product.
1356
01:39:31,930 --> 01:39:34,730
- Love is my life.
- No. Love is your job.
1357
01:39:48,540 --> 01:39:51,070
You wanna jump out a plane
without a chute, be my guest.
1358
01:39:51,180 --> 01:39:53,240
But forgive me if I don't join you.
1359
01:39:54,480 --> 01:39:56,680
This isn't about love
for you at all, is it?
1360
01:40:00,290 --> 01:40:02,450
This whole time, I thought
I was the coward.
1361
01:40:07,530 --> 01:40:09,620
- Where you going?
- Skydiving.
1362
01:40:40,730 --> 01:40:41,920
Taxi!
1363
01:41:15,660 --> 01:41:17,000
Mr. Hitchens.
1364
01:41:18,030 --> 01:41:20,330
Miss Cole,
thank you very much for seeing me.
1365
01:41:20,440 --> 01:41:22,560
You said it was a matter of life and death.
1366
01:41:24,070 --> 01:41:27,300
That man would 've sold his soul
to make you happy.
1367
01:41:27,680 --> 01:41:30,370
So what does that make you, the devil.
1368
01:41:32,810 --> 01:41:37,620
My job is not to deceive, Miss Cole.
It's to create opportunities.
1369
01:41:39,020 --> 01:41:40,150
Like the boardroom.
1370
01:41:40,920 --> 01:41:42,980
- Would you have noticed him otherwise?
- Yes.
1371
01:41:43,090 --> 01:41:45,320
- Really?
- Eventually.
1372
01:41:49,900 --> 01:41:50,960
Maybe.
1373
01:41:54,740 --> 01:41:56,860
How did you know all that stuff about me?
1374
01:41:59,540 --> 01:42:01,340
Well, you really did your homework.
1375
01:42:03,310 --> 01:42:07,180
Like at boarding school when everyone used
to tease me because I couldn't whistle.
1376
01:42:07,620 --> 01:42:11,050
And having him dance like a buffoon
knowing that I can't dance, either.
1377
01:42:11,750 --> 01:42:15,710
Then telling him to drop mustard on his
shirt, so I' d feel less like a dork.
1378
01:42:19,360 --> 01:42:21,420
That was all you, right?
1379
01:42:22,060 --> 01:42:24,430
No. Hell, no.
1380
01:42:24,730 --> 01:42:25,830
That was him?
1381
01:42:26,270 --> 01:42:28,430
That's got Albert written all over it.
1382
01:42:30,310 --> 01:42:32,070
Did you put him up to the inaler?
1383
01:42:32,540 --> 01:42:34,740
Stop it. He did not show you that.
1384
01:42:36,140 --> 01:42:38,170
He chucked it right before he kissed me.
1385
01:42:38,810 --> 01:42:40,110
So, wait...
1386
01:42:40,920 --> 01:42:42,980
that stuff worked for you?
1387
01:42:45,120 --> 01:42:46,490
It was adorable.
1388
01:42:54,300 --> 01:42:55,630
What did you do?
1389
01:42:58,000 --> 01:42:59,230
Nothing.
1390
01:43:04,540 --> 01:43:06,300
Absolutely nothing.
1391
01:43:08,510 --> 01:43:09,740
That's good.
1392
01:43:11,710 --> 01:43:14,270
- This was your plan the whole time?
- Albert.
1393
01:43:14,380 --> 01:43:16,510
You sail off into the sunset with my girl.
1394
01:43:21,390 --> 01:43:25,380
You were like a brother to me!
1395
01:43:26,290 --> 01:43:29,020
- He came here for you.
- Who?
1396
01:43:29,130 --> 01:43:30,460
The guy you're choking.
1397
01:43:42,110 --> 01:43:44,240
- I love you.
- I love you.
1398
01:43:44,350 --> 01:43:46,140
I really love you.
1399
01:43:49,750 --> 01:43:52,740
- I love you more.
- I love you more. I really do.
1400
01:43:55,490 --> 01:43:56,920
I got somewhere I gotta go.
1401
01:44:28,360 --> 01:44:30,650
- Yeah, who is it?
- Hitch.
1402
01:44:32,190 --> 01:44:33,250
Can I talk to you?
1403
01:44:41,770 --> 01:44:42,740
What?
1404
01:44:45,210 --> 01:44:46,370
You almost hit me.
1405
01:44:50,880 --> 01:44:55,210
Look, I just wanted to stop by, basically.
1406
01:44:56,850 --> 01:44:58,150
See, this is the thing.
1407
01:45:04,530 --> 01:45:07,550
This is weird.
I don't have me behind the door, you know.
1408
01:45:08,700 --> 01:45:09,760
Close your mouth.
1409
01:45:13,100 --> 01:45:16,330
Because I knew at some point I' d be...
1410
01:45:18,040 --> 01:45:21,700
right here. But I thought that...
1411
01:45:26,650 --> 01:45:29,640
everything would come out, but it's like...
1412
01:45:31,250 --> 01:45:32,550
That's throwing me off.
1413
01:45:38,130 --> 01:45:40,490
- Can we close the door?
- What?
1414
01:45:40,600 --> 01:45:44,050
I'm sorry. Just, can we... I just need...
1415
01:45:44,200 --> 01:45:47,130
- Are you serious?
- No, just like this.
1416
01:45:51,240 --> 01:45:52,900
What do you want, Hitch?
1417
01:45:55,010 --> 01:45:56,030
You.
1418
01:45:59,150 --> 01:46:02,980
For a whole lot of reasons
that don't make any sense to me.
1419
01:46:04,250 --> 01:46:07,550
I mean, what, we've been on three dates?
1420
01:46:08,390 --> 01:46:10,420
See, that's what's crazy.
1421
01:46:10,590 --> 01:46:13,290
That's what's crazy, because I know.
1422
01:46:13,660 --> 01:46:14,990
I know deep...
1423
01:46:15,100 --> 01:46:19,970
like just down, just in this area...
1424
01:46:20,770 --> 01:46:22,740
that I just know...
1425
01:46:24,340 --> 01:46:25,860
that I want...
1426
01:46:26,640 --> 01:46:30,740
I want to be miserable.
1427
01:46:30,850 --> 01:46:33,640
Like, really miserable.
1428
01:46:34,180 --> 01:46:35,340
Because, hey...
1429
01:46:35,450 --> 01:46:40,010
if that's what it takes
for me to be happy then...
1430
01:46:42,260 --> 01:46:44,090
Wait, that didn't come out right.
1431
01:46:44,190 --> 01:46:46,520
What the hell is wrong with you?
1432
01:46:46,630 --> 01:46:49,500
- Nothing!
- No, not you.
1433
01:46:51,130 --> 01:46:53,070
I'm talking to me.
1434
01:47:14,190 --> 01:47:16,180
Alex Hitchens, Tom Reda.
1435
01:47:20,730 --> 01:47:22,290
I'll just put this in the car.
1436
01:47:36,480 --> 01:47:38,170
Maybe it's like what you said.
1437
01:47:38,410 --> 01:47:42,510
We should just both go our separate ways
and then we'll do just fine.
1438
01:47:54,230 --> 01:47:55,890
What if fine isn't good enough?
1439
01:48:01,270 --> 01:48:02,860
What if I want extraordinary?
1440
01:48:04,210 --> 01:48:05,370
No such thing.
1441
01:48:17,890 --> 01:48:19,980
I'm just as scared as you are, Sara.
1442
01:48:20,760 --> 01:48:23,820
But I' m right here, and
our time is right now.
1443
01:48:24,290 --> 01:48:25,780
Well, what about before?
1444
01:48:25,890 --> 01:48:29,190
I am a guy. Since when
do we get anything right the first time?
1445
01:48:29,300 --> 01:48:31,770
I'm a realist,
and I know what love does to people.
1446
01:48:32,270 --> 01:48:33,890
- No, you don't.
- Keys.
1447
01:48:36,070 --> 01:48:38,540
There you go. Right here.
1448
01:48:41,710 --> 01:48:44,470
I don't know who this is, and I don't care.
1449
01:48:45,210 --> 01:48:49,550
What I do know is he'll never
feel about you the way that I do.
1450
01:48:52,120 --> 01:48:54,780
- You know how to drive a stick?
- Both of you, shut up!
1451
01:49:01,760 --> 01:49:04,250
- You okay?
- Yeah. No, I' m fine.
1452
01:49:05,270 --> 01:49:07,360
You'll never be fine, and neither will I.
1453
01:49:10,840 --> 01:49:12,140
Maybe I should drive.
1454
01:49:13,240 --> 01:49:15,400
Are you trying to get yourself killed?
1455
01:49:15,580 --> 01:49:17,010
If that's what it takes.
1456
01:49:17,110 --> 01:49:18,510
Sara, what happened?
1457
01:49:18,610 --> 01:49:21,100
- He jumped on the car.
- Why?
1458
01:49:21,880 --> 01:49:23,510
Because that's what people do.
1459
01:49:24,450 --> 01:49:27,820
They leap and hope to God they can fly.
1460
01:49:33,660 --> 01:49:34,890
Because otherwise...
1461
01:49:36,000 --> 01:49:38,520
we just drop like a rock...
1462
01:49:39,200 --> 01:49:41,030
wondering the whole way down:
1463
01:49:42,000 --> 01:49:45,500
"Why in the hell did I jump?"
1464
01:49:47,280 --> 01:49:50,940
But here I am, Sara, falling.
1465
01:49:51,910 --> 01:49:56,040
And there's only one person
that makes me feel like I can fly.
1466
01:49:58,450 --> 01:49:59,610
That's you.
1467
01:50:04,960 --> 01:50:07,590
So, you kind of like me?
1468
01:50:08,660 --> 01:50:09,760
No.
1469
01:50:10,930 --> 01:50:12,090
I love you.
1470
01:50:13,470 --> 01:50:15,800
I love you, and I knew it from the first...
1471
01:50:26,450 --> 01:50:29,140
If I say it back now,
it'll sound so stupid.
1472
01:50:32,320 --> 01:50:36,520
This is the guy I was telling you about.
Hitch, that's my sister, Maria.
1473
01:50:36,620 --> 01:50:38,420
And that's her husband, Tom.
1474
01:50:42,960 --> 01:50:44,230
Her husband.
1475
01:51:26,010 --> 01:51:27,470
Where's your date?
1476
01:51:28,040 --> 01:51:29,570
Don't have one.
1477
01:51:35,450 --> 01:51:37,180
I know. Shocking, huh?
1478
01:51:40,690 --> 01:51:43,420
Oh, my God!
1479
01:51:50,430 --> 01:51:51,660
Are you all right?
1480
01:51:53,300 --> 01:51:54,790
Grandma, what happened?
1481
01:51:55,300 --> 01:51:58,600
This young lady just saved my life.
1482
01:52:03,340 --> 01:52:05,440
Ask her to dance.
1483
01:52:06,710 --> 01:52:08,910
Well, if you insist.
1484
01:52:10,050 --> 01:52:13,040
- I' m Casey.
- Charles Wellington.
1485
01:52:14,320 --> 01:52:17,450
- And this...
- Forget it. Just go.
1486
01:52:31,070 --> 01:52:32,770
Basic principles:
1487
01:52:34,180 --> 01:52:35,340
There are none.
110225
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