Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:11,936 --> 00:01:13,130
Hey, Brennan.
2
00:01:14,572 --> 00:01:17,473
Mom, I'm watching the thing
with the lady.
3
00:01:17,642 --> 00:01:19,542
I'm leaving. Okay?
I'll be home around 11.
4
00:01:19,710 --> 00:01:22,304
- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, Brennan.
5
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:26,712
Let's slowly get those hips up.
Good. Now, hold it right here. Great.
6
00:01:32,223 --> 00:01:33,417
Dale.
7
00:01:33,591 --> 00:01:35,559
Dale, I'm leaving for the conference.
8
00:01:35,726 --> 00:01:39,162
- You leave me money for pizza, Dad?
- Yeah, there's $20 on the hall table.
9
00:01:39,330 --> 00:01:41,560
Do not order pay-per-view, buddy.
10
00:01:41,732 --> 00:01:44,394
- But what if I want wings?
- You don't need wings.
11
00:01:44,569 --> 00:01:45,934
That's not enough, Dad!
12
00:01:46,103 --> 00:01:47,695
The RTI cochlear implant...
13
00:01:47,872 --> 00:01:50,432
...is the state-of-the-art
implantable hearing device...
14
00:01:50,608 --> 00:01:54,840
...due to its input processing of sound
via the speech processor.
15
00:01:55,012 --> 00:01:57,776
But the most exciting
new development...
16
00:01:57,949 --> 00:01:59,439
...is the external processor...
17
00:01:59,617 --> 00:02:01,847
...which fits directly over the ear...
18
00:02:02,019 --> 00:02:06,149
...which eliminates the need to put
your face between those breasts.
19
00:02:08,826 --> 00:02:13,263
I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm so lost.
And this never happens to me.
20
00:02:15,766 --> 00:02:18,860
My name is Robert, and I play
racquetball. I collect coins.
21
00:02:19,036 --> 00:02:20,765
Sweet Jesus! I love Korean food.
22
00:02:20,938 --> 00:02:23,771
I am Nancy Huff. I know
how to make tandoori chicken...
23
00:02:23,941 --> 00:02:26,034
...I contribute to NPR
every single year...
24
00:02:26,210 --> 00:02:28,201
...and I love the movies
of Rob Reiner.
25
00:02:28,379 --> 00:02:30,438
Pilates changed my life.
26
00:02:30,615 --> 00:02:33,778
I have a boat, and I wanna retire
and sail around the world.
27
00:02:34,452 --> 00:02:36,579
- I love the sea!
- And I drive a Mercedes...
28
00:02:36,754 --> 00:02:39,655
...and I have a 40-year-old son, Dale,
who still lives at home.
29
00:02:39,991 --> 00:02:42,983
- What did you just say?
- I knew I shouldn't have told you that.
30
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,025
I have a 39-year-old son
named Brennan...
31
00:02:45,196 --> 00:02:47,756
...who still lives at home with me.
32
00:02:57,842 --> 00:03:00,310
I would like to thank all of you...
33
00:03:00,478 --> 00:03:04,710
...for being here with us
on this fantastic, wonderful day.
34
00:03:04,882 --> 00:03:08,045
And I would like to raise my glass.
35
00:03:08,219 --> 00:03:12,155
Dale and I wanna welcome you
to our home with open arms.
36
00:03:14,158 --> 00:03:16,991
- Get a room, Dad.
- Oh, for chri... Dale!
37
00:03:17,928 --> 00:03:21,694
Well, as you all know, my youngest
son, Derek, couldn't be here...
38
00:03:21,866 --> 00:03:24,164
...because of an important
fishing trip.
39
00:03:24,335 --> 00:03:29,671
But my other son, Brennan, was going
to be moving into his own place...
40
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,934
...but he was recently let go
from his job at PetSmart...
41
00:03:33,110 --> 00:03:36,910
...so he is gonna be living with us.
42
00:03:37,081 --> 00:03:40,244
I wasn't fired from my job,
I was laid off!
43
00:03:40,418 --> 00:03:42,511
But you wouldn't
know the difference.
44
00:03:42,853 --> 00:03:47,256
I didn't want salmon!
I said it four times.
45
00:03:50,461 --> 00:03:52,361
This wedding is horseshit.
46
00:03:56,801 --> 00:03:59,702
Somebody's awfully quiet
back there.
47
00:04:00,738 --> 00:04:02,899
I'm not gonna call him Dad.
48
00:04:03,407 --> 00:04:05,204
Brennan, you're 39 years old.
49
00:04:05,376 --> 00:04:07,401
I would not expect you
to call him Dad.
50
00:04:07,578 --> 00:04:12,208
Well, I'm not going to, ever.
Even if there's a fire.
51
00:04:13,250 --> 00:04:15,912
Robert better not get in my face...
52
00:04:16,554 --> 00:04:18,749
...because I'll drop
that motherfucker.
53
00:04:18,923 --> 00:04:20,254
Jesus, Brennan.
54
00:04:20,558 --> 00:04:24,619
I'm just saying, I think
you gotta think about your options.
55
00:04:24,795 --> 00:04:27,662
I know that you are
technically married now...
56
00:04:27,832 --> 00:04:31,495
...but that does not mean
that they have to live here.
57
00:04:32,269 --> 00:04:36,865
Dale, I think it's time for a change
for both of us.
58
00:04:37,942 --> 00:04:40,740
Dad, we're men, okay?
59
00:04:40,911 --> 00:04:43,436
That means a few things.
60
00:04:43,614 --> 00:04:47,243
We like to shit with the door open.
We talk about pussy.
61
00:04:47,418 --> 00:04:50,819
We go on riverboat-gambling trips.
We make our own beef jerky.
62
00:04:50,988 --> 00:04:54,287
That's what we do.
And now that is all wrecked.
63
00:04:55,192 --> 00:04:58,093
We literally have never done
any of those things.
64
00:04:58,262 --> 00:05:00,492
Where did he go to medical school?
65
00:05:00,765 --> 00:05:03,199
He went to Northwestern
and Johns Hopkins.
66
00:05:03,367 --> 00:05:06,768
- Is that good enough for you?
- No, it's not.
67
00:05:07,004 --> 00:05:10,770
Well, Brennan, those are
very prestigious schools.
68
00:05:11,308 --> 00:05:13,708
I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins.
69
00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:16,472
You don't know anyone
named Johnny Hopkins.
70
00:05:16,647 --> 00:05:19,582
It was Johnny Hopkins
and Sloan Kettering...
71
00:05:19,750 --> 00:05:22,583
...and they were
blazing that shit up every day.
72
00:05:22,753 --> 00:05:26,154
All right, here's a scenario
for you, Dad.
73
00:05:26,323 --> 00:05:28,655
Suppose Nancy sees me
coming out of the shower...
74
00:05:28,826 --> 00:05:31,727
...and decides to come on to me.
I'm looking good.
75
00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:34,091
I've got a luscious V of hair...
76
00:05:34,265 --> 00:05:37,632
...going from my chest pubes
down to my ball-fro.
77
00:05:37,802 --> 00:05:40,566
And she takes one look at me,
and she goes:
78
00:05:40,738 --> 00:05:42,171
"Oh, my God.
79
00:05:42,339 --> 00:05:46,469
I've had the old bull,
now I want the young calf."
80
00:05:46,644 --> 00:05:50,239
- And she grabs me by the wiener.
- Shut the fuck up!
81
00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:05,158
- Come on, Brennan.
- I'm fine here.
82
00:06:07,731 --> 00:06:09,995
- There you are.
- Hi.
83
00:06:10,167 --> 00:06:13,034
Oh, you look so cute
in your moving clothes.
84
00:06:13,204 --> 00:06:14,865
- How was it?
- It was easy.
85
00:06:15,039 --> 00:06:16,870
The movers did everything.
86
00:06:20,211 --> 00:06:21,337
Where's Brennan?
87
00:06:22,546 --> 00:06:24,741
He's still in the car.
88
00:06:24,915 --> 00:06:26,405
It was kind of a rough drive.
89
00:06:26,584 --> 00:06:28,711
Hey, Robert,
what's all the commotion?
90
00:06:28,886 --> 00:06:31,582
- Hey, Don.
- Is that your wife, Nancy?
91
00:06:31,755 --> 00:06:34,155
- Right here, Don.
- Can I come over this afternoon...
92
00:06:34,325 --> 00:06:36,225
...and touch your face?
- Sure.
93
00:06:36,393 --> 00:06:37,553
Thanks. Good luck, guys.
94
00:06:37,728 --> 00:06:38,820
We'll see you, Don.
95
00:06:38,996 --> 00:06:41,794
Let's go, Cinnamon.
Heel, Cinnamon.
96
00:06:43,133 --> 00:06:44,725
Heel! Cinnamon!
97
00:06:46,837 --> 00:06:47,861
Cinnamon!
98
00:06:48,439 --> 00:06:49,633
Hi, Dale.
99
00:06:49,807 --> 00:06:52,537
Hey, Nancy. Could you make me
a grilled-cheese sandwich?
100
00:06:52,710 --> 00:06:54,200
- Sure.
- No.
101
00:06:54,378 --> 00:06:57,575
Dale just ate. He's testing you to see
how much he can get away with.
102
00:06:57,748 --> 00:06:59,477
- I see.
- I'm hungry.
103
00:06:59,650 --> 00:07:01,208
Look in your right hand.
104
00:07:01,385 --> 00:07:03,751
- I sure don't mind a bit. I really don't.
- No, no.
105
00:07:03,921 --> 00:07:06,048
No, no. He's fine.
106
00:07:30,281 --> 00:07:31,373
Hey.
107
00:07:32,082 --> 00:07:33,174
Hey.
108
00:07:33,684 --> 00:07:34,946
I'm Brennan.
109
00:07:35,452 --> 00:07:36,817
I'm Dale.
110
00:07:37,321 --> 00:07:39,289
But you have to call me Dragon.
111
00:07:40,758 --> 00:07:42,988
You have to call me Nighthawk.
112
00:08:03,314 --> 00:08:04,338
Brennan.
113
00:08:06,684 --> 00:08:07,844
Please don't do that.
114
00:08:15,659 --> 00:08:18,719
Now, that's enough ketchup.
Come on. Dale.
115
00:08:20,197 --> 00:08:21,960
- I like it.
- That's enough.
116
00:08:22,199 --> 00:08:24,258
Dale, I don't know if you...
117
00:08:24,735 --> 00:08:29,365
You might wanna try this. I make
a sauce, we call it "fancy sauce"...
118
00:08:29,773 --> 00:08:30,967
For me.
119
00:08:31,141 --> 00:08:34,838
- that Brennan really likes
with his chicken nuggets.
120
00:08:35,012 --> 00:08:36,274
It's my fancy sauce.
121
00:08:36,447 --> 00:08:41,646
Well, when Brennan finishes,
I'll give you some of this, and it's...
122
00:08:41,819 --> 00:08:45,084
It's ketchup and mayonnaise
mixed together, so...
123
00:08:45,255 --> 00:08:47,052
It's so good.
124
00:08:47,224 --> 00:08:49,089
- I want some fancy sauce.
- Yeah.
125
00:08:49,259 --> 00:08:51,284
- I'm not done using it.
- Looks good.
126
00:08:51,462 --> 00:08:54,295
- Can I have fancy sauce?
- Of course. Of course.
127
00:08:54,465 --> 00:08:56,057
- I'm using it right now.
- Okay.
128
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:59,464
- So let's just let him try some.
- You wanna try it, Dale?
129
00:08:59,636 --> 00:09:01,900
Yeah, I really would like some.
130
00:09:02,139 --> 00:09:03,436
Just one last spoonful.
131
00:09:04,641 --> 00:09:07,075
Hey, I think you've got
enough there, Brennan.
132
00:09:07,511 --> 00:09:09,376
- So here you go.
- Thanks.
133
00:09:09,546 --> 00:09:10,911
It's ketchup and mayonnaise.
134
00:09:13,183 --> 00:09:15,174
- I don't like it. It smells weird.
- Okay.
135
00:09:15,352 --> 00:09:16,751
- I'll try some.
- You want some?
136
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,182
- Sure. Absolutely.
- Okay.
137
00:09:18,522 --> 00:09:21,013
You don't mind, do you, Brennan?
No. Okay.
138
00:09:23,427 --> 00:09:25,088
- Brennan...
- I'm not comfortable...
139
00:09:25,262 --> 00:09:27,457
It's okay. It's probably
not good on fish anyway.
140
00:09:27,631 --> 00:09:30,532
My dad's king of the castle, so if he
wants fancy sauce, he should...
141
00:09:30,701 --> 00:09:33,261
- No, it's all right, Dale.
- He can make his own batch.
142
00:09:33,437 --> 00:09:34,631
So you know what?
143
00:09:34,805 --> 00:09:39,708
Today, when you were driving around,
Dale was telling me that he's really...
144
00:09:39,877 --> 00:09:44,280
...into kung fu, and I was telling him
that you're really into kung fu as well.
145
00:09:46,350 --> 00:09:48,341
I have a green belt.
146
00:09:49,086 --> 00:09:50,212
Read it and weep.
147
00:09:50,454 --> 00:09:52,285
I don't believe in belts.
148
00:09:52,556 --> 00:09:54,854
There should be no
ranking system for toughness.
149
00:09:55,059 --> 00:09:58,324
But one time I wrestled a giraffe
to the ground with my bare hands.
150
00:09:58,495 --> 00:10:00,588
That's not true, Dale.
Don't be ridiculous.
151
00:10:02,533 --> 00:10:05,434
So, Dale, what have you been
working on recently?
152
00:10:05,702 --> 00:10:06,930
Well...
153
00:10:08,138 --> 00:10:09,901
...I manage a baseball team.
154
00:10:10,874 --> 00:10:14,037
- Little League?
- Fantasy league.
155
00:10:22,419 --> 00:10:24,284
Take a picture. It'll last longer.
156
00:10:24,455 --> 00:10:27,424
Why don't you stop
being so confrontational, Dale?
157
00:10:27,591 --> 00:10:29,218
I'm not the one staring at me.
158
00:10:29,927 --> 00:10:31,451
So, Brennan, how about you?
159
00:10:31,895 --> 00:10:35,490
I know you used to
work at PetSmart.
160
00:10:36,133 --> 00:10:38,897
- That's right, Mr. Doback.
- Call me Robert.
161
00:10:39,570 --> 00:10:42,471
- That's right, Robin.
- Robert.
162
00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,102
Robin.
163
00:10:45,242 --> 00:10:49,542
Actually, Brennan
is a really talented person.
164
00:10:49,947 --> 00:10:51,847
He's a very gifted singer.
165
00:10:52,483 --> 00:10:55,008
- I'm really, really good.
- How good?
166
00:10:56,353 --> 00:10:59,618
I've been called
the songbird of my generation...
167
00:10:59,790 --> 00:11:01,917
...by people who've heard me.
168
00:11:02,092 --> 00:11:03,116
That good.
169
00:11:03,293 --> 00:11:05,693
The only trick is
is that Brennan's very...
170
00:11:07,531 --> 00:11:11,092
...particular about
who he sings in front of, so...
171
00:11:11,268 --> 00:11:14,829
I'm his mom, for example,
I've only heard him sing twice.
172
00:11:15,005 --> 00:11:17,530
That's funny that you say that,
because I can sing too.
173
00:11:17,708 --> 00:11:19,403
In fact, I'll sing right now.
174
00:11:19,576 --> 00:11:22,704
If you wanna get down
On these hairy balls
175
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,212
- Hey!
- Why don't you jump right in?
176
00:11:25,382 --> 00:11:27,213
It's a crotch party right up in here
177
00:11:27,384 --> 00:11:29,579
- Stop it!
- Why don't you lick on this big joint?
178
00:11:29,753 --> 00:11:32,517
Stop it, Dale! Stop it! Stop it!
179
00:11:32,689 --> 00:11:33,781
That's cute.
180
00:11:33,957 --> 00:11:35,948
I remember when I had my first beer.
181
00:11:36,126 --> 00:11:38,458
That's so funny,
the last time I heard that...
182
00:11:38,629 --> 00:11:40,620
...I laughed so hard
I fell off my dinosaur.
183
00:11:40,797 --> 00:11:43,664
Stop right now. All right?
Let's just back off.
184
00:11:44,468 --> 00:11:47,335
All right. Brennan, it's okay.
It's okay.
185
00:11:47,804 --> 00:11:49,203
Hey, hey.
186
00:11:49,373 --> 00:11:51,273
- Great, Dale.
- He said a mean thing first.
187
00:11:51,441 --> 00:11:54,137
All right, just...
Look, you know what...? Hey, guys.
188
00:11:54,578 --> 00:11:57,376
Okay, sleeping arrangements.
It's gonna be different...
189
00:11:57,548 --> 00:12:01,177
...but because Dale refuses
to give up his office drum set...
190
00:12:02,352 --> 00:12:05,719
...that means that, Brennan, you and
Dale are gonna have to share a room.
191
00:12:05,889 --> 00:12:08,858
- But it's just temporary.
- Mom, we didn't talk about this.
192
00:12:09,026 --> 00:12:12,484
Well, it's gonna be
an exciting adventure.
193
00:12:12,663 --> 00:12:16,531
You wanna show him the room, Dale?
Show him where he can put his stuff?
194
00:12:17,734 --> 00:12:21,170
- That's nice, thank you.
- Good night, Nancy.
195
00:12:21,872 --> 00:12:26,104
Hey, listen, I like to have
a lot of fresh fruit around...
196
00:12:26,276 --> 00:12:29,143
...and chocolate chips
in my pancakes. Okay?
197
00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:31,577
- Write it so you don't forget.
- Show him the room.
198
00:12:32,015 --> 00:12:34,347
She's Mom now, so...
199
00:12:34,718 --> 00:12:36,549
- Good night, Mom.
- Good night, Brennan.
200
00:12:38,055 --> 00:12:41,320
- Good night, Mr. Doback.
- Good night, Brennan.
201
00:12:49,366 --> 00:12:52,460
So just a few basic rules
about the house.
202
00:12:52,636 --> 00:12:54,536
If there's any foods that you like...
203
00:12:54,705 --> 00:12:58,232
...I suggest you put your name
on them, or they will be thrown out.
204
00:12:58,408 --> 00:12:59,932
By me.
205
00:13:00,544 --> 00:13:03,775
House was built in 1825
by General Custer.
206
00:13:03,947 --> 00:13:06,142
I wanna show you this room.
207
00:13:06,750 --> 00:13:08,411
Hold up.
208
00:13:09,253 --> 00:13:11,118
- You see this room?
- Yeah.
209
00:13:11,288 --> 00:13:13,153
Okay, here's the deal.
210
00:13:14,091 --> 00:13:17,492
This is my office
and my beat laboratory.
211
00:13:17,661 --> 00:13:19,151
Okay?
212
00:13:19,329 --> 00:13:21,388
And this is the one rule of the house:
213
00:13:21,565 --> 00:13:25,160
Don't ever, ever, ever...
214
00:13:25,335 --> 00:13:27,860
...touch my drum set.
215
00:13:28,038 --> 00:13:29,903
- You understand?
- Don't go in there and...
216
00:13:30,073 --> 00:13:32,166
- No touching!
- All right!
217
00:13:32,342 --> 00:13:34,640
There. I was at about six there.
218
00:13:34,811 --> 00:13:36,779
You don't wanna see me go to 10.
219
00:13:36,947 --> 00:13:39,381
Get your shit.
We're going to my room.
220
00:13:47,491 --> 00:13:48,651
Honey?
221
00:13:50,027 --> 00:13:53,258
I just found a chain of islands
that we can sail to after New Zealand.
222
00:13:53,430 --> 00:13:54,863
That's wonderful.
223
00:13:56,033 --> 00:13:59,594
You know,
I've been meaning to ask you...
224
00:14:04,141 --> 00:14:08,077
Why is it that Dale never left?
225
00:14:09,780 --> 00:14:13,045
Well, Dale has always
coasted off my accomplishments.
226
00:14:13,216 --> 00:14:15,241
I mean, he left college
his junior year...
227
00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:18,047
...because he said he wanted
to join the family business.
228
00:14:18,388 --> 00:14:22,290
- But you're a medical doctor.
- Believe me, I've told him that.
229
00:14:22,459 --> 00:14:25,690
But he just always says,
"It's all about who you know."
230
00:14:25,862 --> 00:14:28,296
I don't know where
he got this sense of entitlement.
231
00:14:28,565 --> 00:14:31,659
Maybe it was his mother passing.
What about Brennan?
232
00:14:31,835 --> 00:14:33,302
From what you've told me...
233
00:14:33,470 --> 00:14:35,904
...his younger brother Derek's
been quite successful.
234
00:14:36,073 --> 00:14:39,474
Well, certainly when his father
and I split, that was difficult for him.
235
00:14:40,711 --> 00:14:45,171
And this one time, when Brennan
was 17 and Derek was 14...
236
00:14:45,349 --> 00:14:48,250
...and Brennan decided
to enter a talent show.
237
00:14:49,353 --> 00:14:53,255
He sang a song
from an old pirate musical.
238
00:14:53,423 --> 00:14:58,326
But Derek got his football buddies
to replace the choir and sing:
239
00:14:58,495 --> 00:15:00,395
"Brennan has a mangina."
240
00:15:00,564 --> 00:15:04,022
Brennan has a mangina
Brennan has a mangina
241
00:15:04,201 --> 00:15:10,731
Finally, the audience and even some
of the nastier parents started singing:
242
00:15:10,907 --> 00:15:12,568
"Brennan has a mangina."
243
00:15:13,510 --> 00:15:17,002
And I have to admit, for a little while,
I sort of joined in as well.
244
00:15:17,581 --> 00:15:21,312
From that day on,
Brennan never sang again.
245
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:25,421
Derek went on to win the contest
by lip-synching "Ice Ice Baby."
246
00:15:30,293 --> 00:15:32,784
- Oh, that's a great song.
- It is.
247
00:15:34,131 --> 00:15:39,626
- Hey, you awake?
- Yeah.
248
00:15:42,472 --> 00:15:47,535
I just want you to know I hate you.
So does my dad.
249
00:15:48,845 --> 00:15:50,938
Well, that's fine.
250
00:15:52,282 --> 00:15:53,943
Because guess what.
251
00:15:54,117 --> 00:15:56,278
I hate you too.
252
00:15:56,453 --> 00:15:59,820
And this house sucks ass.
253
00:15:59,990 --> 00:16:02,083
Well, the only reason
you're living here...
254
00:16:02,259 --> 00:16:05,854
...is because me and my dad decided
that your mom was really hot...
255
00:16:06,029 --> 00:16:08,623
...and maybe we should just
both bang her.
256
00:16:08,799 --> 00:16:11,063
And we'll put up with the retard
in the meantime.
257
00:16:11,568 --> 00:16:14,036
- Who's the retard?
- You.
258
00:16:14,304 --> 00:16:16,966
- Hey, y'all don't say that.
- Shut up.
259
00:16:17,340 --> 00:16:19,240
You'll wake up my dad
and get me grounded.
260
00:16:19,876 --> 00:16:21,309
Just shut up.
261
00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:24,378
You and your mom are hillbillies.
262
00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:29,417
- This is a house of learned doctors.
- You're not a doctor.
263
00:16:29,786 --> 00:16:32,346
You're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck.
264
00:16:33,256 --> 00:16:35,747
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
265
00:16:35,926 --> 00:16:37,917
- I'm a curly-headed fuck?
- Yeah.
266
00:16:38,094 --> 00:16:39,721
You better not go to sleep.
267
00:16:40,530 --> 00:16:43,590
As soon as your eyes shut, I'm gonna
punch you square in the face.
268
00:16:43,767 --> 00:16:46,133
I hope you stay still
when you sleep...
269
00:16:46,303 --> 00:16:49,363
...because I'm putting a rat trap
between your legs.
270
00:16:49,539 --> 00:16:53,805
I'm gonna take a pillowcase
and fill it full of bars of soap...
271
00:16:53,977 --> 00:16:55,444
...and beat the shit out of you.
272
00:16:59,282 --> 00:17:01,773
I want you out of my fucking house.
273
00:17:01,952 --> 00:17:05,012
No way, kemosabe.
274
00:17:05,188 --> 00:17:07,748
This is my house now.
275
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:12,453
How do you like The Gilded Lady?
276
00:17:12,629 --> 00:17:14,688
I wish we could retire right now.
277
00:17:14,865 --> 00:17:16,799
Won't be long.
278
00:17:27,310 --> 00:17:29,642
Oh, God! It's cold!
279
00:17:30,814 --> 00:17:33,544
Hey! Is anyone listening? Help!
280
00:18:19,963 --> 00:18:22,431
Fuck you, Dale! Fuck you!
281
00:18:22,599 --> 00:18:24,362
- obviously you guys are hot.
You know?
282
00:18:24,534 --> 00:18:27,560
Just revealed her cover.
I was like, "Wow, this is hot."
283
00:18:27,737 --> 00:18:30,706
A little girl-on-girl.
A little heaven, a little hell.
284
00:18:33,877 --> 00:18:35,970
- Hey.
- Hey.
285
00:18:38,281 --> 00:18:41,341
- Why you so sweaty?
- I was watching Cops.
286
00:18:41,851 --> 00:18:43,910
Not supposed to have
your feet on the couch.
287
00:19:07,978 --> 00:19:09,570
Hey, man.
288
00:19:10,347 --> 00:19:11,575
Did you touch my drum set?
289
00:19:13,083 --> 00:19:15,984
- Nope.
- It's just weird...
290
00:19:16,987 --> 00:19:20,616
...because seems like someone
definitely touched my drum set.
291
00:19:20,924 --> 00:19:23,825
Yeah, that is weird.
Because I didn't touch them.
292
00:19:24,327 --> 00:19:27,524
- Hey! Did you touch my drum set?
- Hey, knock it off!
293
00:19:27,697 --> 00:19:31,497
I know you touched my drumstick,
because the left one has a chip in it.
294
00:19:32,702 --> 00:19:34,169
You fucking crazy, man?
295
00:19:34,337 --> 00:19:38,239
You sound insane, do you realize
that? You should be medicated.
296
00:19:38,408 --> 00:19:40,876
Fuck you, Brennan.
I know you touched my drum set.
297
00:19:41,044 --> 00:19:42,807
I wanna hear that
dirty mouth admit it.
298
00:19:42,979 --> 00:19:45,846
You get out of my face,
or I'm gonna roundhouse your ass.
299
00:19:46,016 --> 00:19:48,507
You swear on your mom's life
that you didn't touch it!
300
00:19:48,685 --> 00:19:49,709
I don't swear to shit!
301
00:19:49,886 --> 00:19:52,150
That's because you fucking
touched my drum set...
302
00:19:52,322 --> 00:19:54,347
...because I know
Cops doesn't start till 4.
303
00:19:57,394 --> 00:20:00,557
- Where are you going?
- I'm going upstairs.
304
00:20:00,730 --> 00:20:04,461
Because I'm gonna put my nut sack
on your drum set. Okay?
305
00:20:04,634 --> 00:20:07,865
Don't you do that.
I am warning you right now:
306
00:20:08,038 --> 00:20:12,668
If you touch my drums, I will
stab you in the neck with a knife!
307
00:20:13,076 --> 00:20:17,172
If you even go in the room,
I will go ape-shit, you hear me?
308
00:20:17,347 --> 00:20:18,974
Don't wanna miss a spot.
309
00:20:19,349 --> 00:20:21,374
John Bonham's playing
"Moby Dick" for real!
310
00:20:21,551 --> 00:20:24,076
I swear to God. I swear to God! No!
311
00:20:33,496 --> 00:20:34,690
I warned you.
312
00:20:35,031 --> 00:20:38,159
There's one rule in the house,
and you broke it!
313
00:20:48,344 --> 00:20:49,936
I didn't touch your damn drum set!
314
00:20:53,783 --> 00:20:55,011
I'm pre-diabetic!
315
00:21:00,256 --> 00:21:03,919
You fucking fucker! I'm gonna
rub my balls on your mom's face!
316
00:21:05,995 --> 00:21:07,019
Come back here!
317
00:21:12,068 --> 00:21:15,504
I'll kill you! You son of a bitch!
318
00:21:16,272 --> 00:21:18,035
Your drum set's a whore!
319
00:21:18,208 --> 00:21:20,403
I teabagged your fucking drum set!
320
00:21:20,577 --> 00:21:24,104
Well, my drum set's a guy,
so that makes you gay, you fucker!
321
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:26,714
I'll kill you!
322
00:21:27,550 --> 00:21:29,415
I think it's gonna go
generic soon, okay?
323
00:21:29,586 --> 00:21:31,816
- Line three.
- Oh, thanks, Miles.
324
00:21:31,988 --> 00:21:33,478
Yeah.
325
00:21:34,924 --> 00:21:37,586
Jules? Wait, what's wrong?
326
00:21:39,162 --> 00:21:43,724
- Back!
- You touched my drum set, you fucker!
327
00:21:44,768 --> 00:21:47,498
Stop it! Stop it!
328
00:21:47,670 --> 00:21:51,071
- Rape! Rape! Rape!
- Stop it! Stop! Stop.
329
00:21:51,241 --> 00:21:53,300
- Stay out of this, Nancy!
- Stop it, you guys.
330
00:21:54,177 --> 00:21:56,202
- Oh, my God, you're hurting him!
- No, Nancy!
331
00:21:56,913 --> 00:21:59,438
Cinnamon! Stop it!
332
00:22:00,116 --> 00:22:03,415
My mom is being eaten by a dog,
there's nothing I can do!
333
00:22:03,586 --> 00:22:05,178
- No, a story has a...
- Excuse me.
334
00:22:05,355 --> 00:22:07,789
Dr. Doback, the phone's for you.
I think it's urgent.
335
00:22:07,957 --> 00:22:08,981
Hello?
336
00:22:09,159 --> 00:22:11,491
Robert, they're like animals!
I can't stop them!
337
00:22:11,661 --> 00:22:14,129
Stop screaming. Please.
I'm on my way.
338
00:22:14,297 --> 00:22:16,458
There seems to be some
savage fight going on...
339
00:22:16,633 --> 00:22:18,828
...between my son and stepson,
so l...
340
00:22:20,336 --> 00:22:21,963
Family issues, huh?
341
00:22:22,138 --> 00:22:24,834
I don't believe in talking about
people's personal lives...
342
00:22:25,008 --> 00:22:26,305
...behind their back.
343
00:22:26,709 --> 00:22:28,609
You know nobody likes you, right?
344
00:22:28,778 --> 00:22:32,612
Rape! Rape! Rape!
345
00:22:36,553 --> 00:22:37,645
What's going on?
346
00:22:37,821 --> 00:22:40,085
Robert! They won't... They won't...
347
00:22:40,256 --> 00:22:42,247
- Stop it! Stop it!
- Dale, what...?
348
00:22:42,425 --> 00:22:44,359
- Stay out of it, Dad!
- Stop it!
349
00:22:52,702 --> 00:22:55,398
What the fucking fuck?
350
00:22:59,609 --> 00:23:01,600
Someone got some air. Snap.
351
00:23:02,378 --> 00:23:03,970
- I still hate you.
- Still hate you.
352
00:23:04,714 --> 00:23:06,204
Such power. It's raw power.
353
00:23:06,382 --> 00:23:08,179
What are you doing?
It's Shark Week.
354
00:23:08,351 --> 00:23:09,477
Okay, here's the deal:
355
00:23:09,652 --> 00:23:13,349
Number one, you will fix
the fucking drywall now.
356
00:23:13,523 --> 00:23:16,856
Number two, you have one month to
find jobs or you're out on your asses.
357
00:23:17,026 --> 00:23:19,722
I will arrange interviews for Monday,
and you will go!
358
00:23:19,896 --> 00:23:23,696
Dad, why are you talking
to me like this? I'm your son.
359
00:23:23,867 --> 00:23:25,391
I'm not buying that crap anymore.
360
00:23:25,735 --> 00:23:29,398
Today I saw my own son
use a bicycle as a weapon.
361
00:23:29,572 --> 00:23:32,302
You yelled "rape"
at the top of your lungs.
362
00:23:32,475 --> 00:23:36,809
Mom, I honestly thought
I was gonna be raped for a second.
363
00:23:36,980 --> 00:23:39,471
He had the craziest look in his eyes.
364
00:23:39,649 --> 00:23:42,140
And at one point he said,
"Let's get it on."
365
00:23:42,518 --> 00:23:45,351
That was about the fighting.
I'm so not a raper.
366
00:23:45,521 --> 00:23:47,318
I didn't touch your drum set, okay?
367
00:23:47,490 --> 00:23:52,621
I witnessed with my eyes
your testicles touching my drum set.
368
00:23:52,795 --> 00:23:55,320
All right, that's it! That's it!
369
00:23:55,531 --> 00:23:57,499
You two guys leave me no choice.
370
00:23:57,834 --> 00:23:59,301
No television for a week.
371
00:23:59,535 --> 00:24:00,559
- What?!
- What?!
372
00:24:00,737 --> 00:24:02,864
- We are so serious, guys.
- You're fucking high!
373
00:24:03,039 --> 00:24:04,267
Are you out of your mind?
374
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,273
This goes in Robert's wall safe
and it's gonna stay there.
375
00:24:07,443 --> 00:24:09,274
- No!
- Okay.
376
00:24:09,445 --> 00:24:13,108
- This house is a fucking prison!
- On planet Bullshit!
377
00:24:13,283 --> 00:24:16,514
In the galaxy of
This Sucks Camel Dicks!
378
00:24:46,983 --> 00:24:50,111
Hi! Aunt Carol. Aunt Carol.
379
00:24:51,754 --> 00:24:55,451
- Hey.
- You can't catch me.
380
00:25:00,196 --> 00:25:01,561
I gotcha.
381
00:25:01,731 --> 00:25:03,255
I gotcha.
382
00:25:09,372 --> 00:25:10,896
Aunt Carol's on fire!
383
00:25:28,057 --> 00:25:29,649
I don't know where you learned it.
384
00:25:29,826 --> 00:25:32,590
- Well, there's lots more where that...
- My God.
385
00:25:32,762 --> 00:25:36,254
- Oh, no. What happened?
- What the...?
386
00:25:36,799 --> 00:25:38,289
Oh, my God.
387
00:25:39,035 --> 00:25:42,527
Maybe Dale left the back door open
and raccoons got in.
388
00:25:42,705 --> 00:25:45,105
Nancy? Is this your purse
in the freezer?
389
00:25:45,641 --> 00:25:48,109
Yes. It's Brennan.
390
00:25:48,277 --> 00:25:51,769
He sleepwalks and he always
puts my purse in the freezer.
391
00:25:51,948 --> 00:25:53,575
Dale sleepwalks too.
392
00:25:53,750 --> 00:25:56,218
- Are you kidding me?
- I'm not. Look in the oven.
393
00:25:57,620 --> 00:26:00,487
- What's in the...? Couch pillows?
- Couch pillows.
394
00:26:00,656 --> 00:26:02,123
Yeah, Dale.
395
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:05,257
Come on.
396
00:26:05,795 --> 00:26:08,286
- It's okay.
- It's really hard.
397
00:26:08,464 --> 00:26:09,658
It's gonna be fine.
398
00:26:09,832 --> 00:26:13,324
They're gonna get jobs,
they'll be gone in a month. A month.
399
00:26:20,043 --> 00:26:21,067
Guys.
400
00:26:23,479 --> 00:26:26,277
- Guys. Guys!
- I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy.
401
00:26:26,449 --> 00:26:28,474
The clown has no penis.
402
00:26:29,185 --> 00:26:31,176
What kind of dreams
are you guys having?
403
00:26:31,354 --> 00:26:32,946
Hey, it's 12:30.
404
00:26:33,122 --> 00:26:35,852
Brennan, your brother's
coming today, so get up.
405
00:26:36,025 --> 00:26:37,356
- Today?
- Yep.
406
00:26:37,527 --> 00:26:40,826
- Shit.
- What's your problem?
407
00:26:40,997 --> 00:26:43,795
My little brother's even
a bigger asshole than you are.
408
00:26:44,367 --> 00:26:46,835
All right, let's really nail it this time.
Here we go.
409
00:26:47,003 --> 00:26:51,463
A one, a two, a one, two, three, four.
410
00:27:10,827 --> 00:27:14,160
All right, Tommy, you're the oldest.
I'm counting on you. Come on.
411
00:27:26,142 --> 00:27:29,168
Nice vibrato, buddy.
All right, all right, Alice, let's go.
412
00:27:31,547 --> 00:27:33,777
Flat. It's so flat.
413
00:27:33,950 --> 00:27:36,817
I can't even... You don't even
look good while you're singing.
414
00:27:36,986 --> 00:27:38,749
The worst thing I've ever heard.
415
00:27:38,921 --> 00:27:42,049
This is $ 1200 a week for
voice lessons, and this is what I get?
416
00:27:42,225 --> 00:27:43,988
Okay, I'm gonna save it
with this solo.
417
00:27:45,561 --> 00:27:47,495
I'm Derek
418
00:27:47,663 --> 00:27:52,293
And I can sing high like this
419
00:27:53,069 --> 00:27:56,163
And I can sing high
420
00:27:59,175 --> 00:28:00,540
Jesus!
421
00:28:15,158 --> 00:28:18,389
We were so sad you guys
couldn't come to the wedding.
422
00:28:18,561 --> 00:28:20,222
- But we completely understand.
- Yeah.
423
00:28:20,396 --> 00:28:22,296
You were busy fishing
with Mark Cuban.
424
00:28:22,465 --> 00:28:24,456
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Well, not just the Cubes...
425
00:28:24,634 --> 00:28:28,001
...but we had Chris Daughtry,
Jeff Probst, super-chef Bobby Flay.
426
00:28:28,171 --> 00:28:30,264
It was insane.
I mean, it was almost too much.
427
00:28:30,439 --> 00:28:31,770
My God, that's impressive.
428
00:28:31,941 --> 00:28:34,273
Yeah, we were down in the Gulf,
fishing bonito.
429
00:28:34,443 --> 00:28:37,412
Robert, have you ever been down
to the Gulf on the bonito run?
430
00:28:37,580 --> 00:28:39,377
Always wanted to.
I hear it's amazing.
431
00:28:39,549 --> 00:28:42,074
- It is. It's gorgeous.
- Are bonito fish big?
432
00:28:43,519 --> 00:28:44,543
What?
433
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:46,711
Don't interrupt
when he's telling a story.
434
00:28:46,889 --> 00:28:49,380
- It's fine, Robert.
- I was asking about the story.
435
00:28:49,559 --> 00:28:52,551
- What's this guy's deal?
- I don't know, son. It's okay.
436
00:28:52,728 --> 00:28:56,323
Well, Dale, they are
what's called a trophy fish.
437
00:28:56,499 --> 00:29:00,162
So, yeah, they're pretty big.
438
00:29:00,503 --> 00:29:01,800
I'm sorry.
439
00:29:04,173 --> 00:29:05,936
Anyway...
440
00:29:06,842 --> 00:29:09,310
Oh, God, I'm sorry,
I forget where my story was going.
441
00:29:09,478 --> 00:29:10,672
Damn it, Dale.
442
00:29:10,846 --> 00:29:12,074
- No...
- Robert.
443
00:29:12,248 --> 00:29:13,442
- What?
- What? I asked him.
444
00:29:13,616 --> 00:29:16,312
No, he can join in, Robert.
It's really okay.
445
00:29:16,485 --> 00:29:18,350
Well, I asked him twice
not to interrupt.
446
00:29:18,521 --> 00:29:22,321
Gang, don't be mad at Dale for ruining
the story. And possibly the evening.
447
00:29:22,491 --> 00:29:24,618
It's totally fine.
I have a lot more stories.
448
00:29:24,794 --> 00:29:28,093
- Derek, that you do. That you do.
- Yeah.
449
00:29:28,264 --> 00:29:31,859
- Guilty as charged with the stories.
- Oh, God, you're impressive.
450
00:29:32,768 --> 00:29:34,793
Come on. I love talking to you.
451
00:29:35,838 --> 00:29:38,671
From across the room,
I feel like we have a thing.
452
00:29:38,841 --> 00:29:42,937
You and me, man. You're my
new stepdad. You're unbelievable.
453
00:29:43,279 --> 00:29:47,215
- I never heard that laugh before.
- Dad, why are you acting so weird?
454
00:29:47,383 --> 00:29:49,817
Oh, hey, by the way, guys,
where's my bro, Brennan?
455
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:02,488
You're right about your brother.
Total dick.
456
00:30:02,665 --> 00:30:04,155
Told you.
457
00:30:04,333 --> 00:30:05,925
You know what? I still hate you...
458
00:30:06,102 --> 00:30:08,798
...but you got a pretty awesome
collection of nudie mags.
459
00:30:08,971 --> 00:30:11,496
Yeah, I got them
from the '70s, '80s and '90s.
460
00:30:12,508 --> 00:30:14,976
It's like masturbating
in a time machine.
461
00:30:15,344 --> 00:30:19,178
Anyway, so I figure by the summer
of 2010, we can probably set sail.
462
00:30:19,348 --> 00:30:22,215
But I think about it
every day of my life.
463
00:30:22,385 --> 00:30:24,649
Let me ask you this, Bob,
why wait two years?
464
00:30:24,820 --> 00:30:26,913
- Well, I gotta make more money.
- Okay, look.
465
00:30:27,089 --> 00:30:28,317
I hear you, believe me.
466
00:30:28,491 --> 00:30:31,358
But what if I were to tell you
that I could sell this house...
467
00:30:31,527 --> 00:30:33,256
...for 30 percent above market?
468
00:30:33,429 --> 00:30:36,921
- That'd be great. Could you do it?
- Yeah. In a heartbeat, Robby.
469
00:30:37,099 --> 00:30:40,398
Look, I got my real-estate license
a few years back for shits and gigs.
470
00:30:40,569 --> 00:30:42,230
I'd do it for four-fifths commish...
471
00:30:42,405 --> 00:30:44,669
...because you know what really
gets my dick hard?
472
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:46,102
Helping out my friends.
473
00:30:46,275 --> 00:30:49,108
That'd be fantastic.
That'd be fanta... Oh, my God.
474
00:30:49,278 --> 00:30:51,610
- No, it would be kick-ass, bro.
- Oh, man.
475
00:30:51,781 --> 00:30:53,408
Right there.
476
00:30:55,084 --> 00:30:56,517
What about Dale and Brennan?
477
00:30:56,686 --> 00:30:58,745
Because they haven't
even gotten jobs yet.
478
00:30:58,921 --> 00:31:01,355
God, change the record.
479
00:31:01,691 --> 00:31:03,318
Sweet!
480
00:31:04,860 --> 00:31:08,125
Robert. Don't talk to me like that
in front of my son.
481
00:31:08,297 --> 00:31:11,630
Oh, come on. We're talking about
our dream, the boat. Come on.
482
00:31:11,801 --> 00:31:15,669
Yeah, it's our dream, but I think it
all needs to be done in good time.
483
00:31:15,838 --> 00:31:19,399
I'm just saying give it some thought,
okay? That's it. That's all I'm saying.
484
00:31:19,575 --> 00:31:22,738
Holy shit, triplets.
485
00:31:23,479 --> 00:31:25,538
It's true, three's company.
486
00:31:25,715 --> 00:31:27,740
- It shows tons of bush.
- Hey, hey, careful.
487
00:31:27,917 --> 00:31:30,044
Careful with that. You're crinkling.
488
00:31:30,319 --> 00:31:33,288
That's a collector's item.
It's worth a lot of money.
489
00:31:33,622 --> 00:31:34,714
What's up, faggots?
490
00:31:34,890 --> 00:31:38,087
What's up, man? What, you're not
gonna come down, say hi to me?
491
00:31:38,260 --> 00:31:39,284
Hi, Derek.
492
00:31:39,462 --> 00:31:42,363
Whoa, calm down, man.
I'm just joking.
493
00:31:42,898 --> 00:31:45,492
You guys, I really like
your guys' setup up here.
494
00:31:45,668 --> 00:31:47,260
What is your problem, man?
495
00:31:47,570 --> 00:31:50,835
My problem? I don't know.
I don't have a problem, Dale.
496
00:31:51,006 --> 00:31:53,236
Actually, I have the opposite
of a problem:
497
00:31:53,409 --> 00:31:55,900
I made over 550 K last year.
How much did you make?
498
00:31:56,078 --> 00:31:58,569
- It's not about money.
- No, it's not about money.
499
00:31:58,748 --> 00:32:00,841
Well, for me,
it's a little bit about money...
500
00:32:01,016 --> 00:32:03,075
...and I made
that much money last year.
501
00:32:03,252 --> 00:32:04,719
I am the VP of the biggest...
502
00:32:04,887 --> 00:32:08,584
...executive-helicopter-leasing
company on the Western Seaboard.
503
00:32:08,758 --> 00:32:11,693
Okay? I haven't had a carb
since 2004.
504
00:32:12,695 --> 00:32:15,163
Check these out. See these?
See these boys?
505
00:32:15,331 --> 00:32:16,662
This is what I live with.
506
00:32:16,832 --> 00:32:19,323
Every day I lather this up
with Kiehl's in the shower.
507
00:32:19,502 --> 00:32:22,164
You wanna touch this shit?
You wanna touch these bad boys?
508
00:32:22,938 --> 00:32:24,530
Sorry, not gonna happen.
509
00:32:24,707 --> 00:32:26,106
Is there something you want?
510
00:32:26,275 --> 00:32:28,038
I promised Mom I'd offer you a job.
511
00:32:28,344 --> 00:32:31,142
I told her it'd count as her
Christmas present, so...
512
00:32:31,313 --> 00:32:33,178
No. I'm never gonna work for you.
513
00:32:33,349 --> 00:32:34,509
Fine. I don't care.
514
00:32:34,683 --> 00:32:38,141
The truth is I just smoked a J
out in my car a few minutes ago...
515
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,254
...so feeling a little spacy.
516
00:32:40,423 --> 00:32:42,482
Know what I'm say...?
What's up with you, man?
517
00:32:43,125 --> 00:32:44,752
What you looking at, kemosabe?
518
00:32:44,927 --> 00:32:46,258
You...
519
00:32:46,629 --> 00:32:48,927
You wanna punch me right now.
520
00:32:49,498 --> 00:32:52,331
You wanna punch me right now,
but you won't.
521
00:32:53,169 --> 00:32:54,397
You wanna punch me too?
522
00:32:54,570 --> 00:32:57,334
You guys both look like you might
wanna hit me in the face.
523
00:32:57,506 --> 00:32:59,633
You do, I can tell.
Well, why don't you do it?
524
00:32:59,809 --> 00:33:01,401
Why don't you punch me
in the face?
525
00:33:01,577 --> 00:33:03,204
Punch me in the fucking face!
526
00:33:09,952 --> 00:33:12,512
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, my shoulder!
527
00:33:12,688 --> 00:33:13,916
That was awesome.
528
00:33:14,089 --> 00:33:16,080
Mom! Mom!
529
00:33:16,258 --> 00:33:18,624
Derek, know what's always good
for shoulder pain?
530
00:33:18,794 --> 00:33:21,092
- What?
- If you lick my butthole.
531
00:33:21,263 --> 00:33:23,060
Snap!
532
00:33:24,767 --> 00:33:26,359
- Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Bobby.
- Sure.
533
00:33:26,535 --> 00:33:29,868
Aside from that retard trying to punch
me, it was a pretty good evening.
534
00:33:30,039 --> 00:33:33,440
- It was our pleasure, son.
- Why are you calling him that?
535
00:33:33,609 --> 00:33:34,837
Oh, don't, don't.
536
00:33:35,010 --> 00:33:37,808
Bye, kids. I'll check out that stock
you recommended, Tommy.
537
00:33:37,980 --> 00:33:39,004
Excuse me.
538
00:33:39,181 --> 00:33:42,639
- Hi. I'm Alice, I'm Derek's wife.
- Hi.
539
00:33:42,818 --> 00:33:46,276
Is it true you struck Derek in the face
and he fell from the tree house?
540
00:33:46,455 --> 00:33:47,945
Yeah. He asked me to.
541
00:33:48,123 --> 00:33:50,421
Oh, that's the most amazing thing
I've ever heard.
542
00:33:50,593 --> 00:33:52,185
I want you to know that tonight...
543
00:33:52,361 --> 00:33:55,888
...I am gonna pleasure myself to
the image of you doing that to Derek.
544
00:33:56,065 --> 00:33:57,657
You know what I mean?
545
00:33:57,833 --> 00:33:59,460
Masturbate.
546
00:33:59,635 --> 00:34:01,296
I am.
547
00:34:01,470 --> 00:34:03,131
Oh, Dale.
548
00:34:03,305 --> 00:34:05,239
You are something.
549
00:34:05,808 --> 00:34:08,299
You are something.
550
00:34:09,578 --> 00:34:11,011
You're something too.
551
00:34:11,180 --> 00:34:14,707
I wanna roll you into a little ball
and shove you up my vagina.
552
00:34:15,551 --> 00:34:19,612
You could just live there.
It's warm and it's cozy.
553
00:34:19,788 --> 00:34:20,880
In your vagina?
554
00:34:21,056 --> 00:34:24,492
I wanna walk around with you
in there and just know that...
555
00:34:24,660 --> 00:34:27,151
...whenever I feel a little tickle
or scratch...
556
00:34:27,329 --> 00:34:30,662
...that it's just your hair
up my vagina.
557
00:34:30,833 --> 00:34:32,892
Please, just do it for me.
558
00:34:33,168 --> 00:34:34,567
What's happening?
559
00:34:36,739 --> 00:34:38,536
Kiss me.
560
00:34:41,911 --> 00:34:45,074
I know. I know. It's too much.
561
00:34:45,414 --> 00:34:47,644
It's too much.
562
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,347
I hate my life, Dale.
563
00:34:53,756 --> 00:34:56,987
Dale, I hate my life!
I have nobody to talk to.
564
00:34:57,159 --> 00:34:59,127
- Well, you seemed okay at the di...
- Please.
565
00:34:59,295 --> 00:35:01,195
Alice! Honey, come on!
566
00:35:01,463 --> 00:35:04,990
Dane Cook, pay-per-view,
20 minutes. Let's go!
567
00:35:05,167 --> 00:35:08,534
Coming, honey!
I'm just talking to Dale.
568
00:35:08,704 --> 00:35:11,229
This is so stupid.
569
00:35:12,341 --> 00:35:13,672
Call me.
570
00:35:13,842 --> 00:35:17,073
- I love you.
- Okay.
571
00:35:23,218 --> 00:35:25,686
- Hey. What'd she want?
- What?
572
00:35:26,188 --> 00:35:29,589
Nothing. Who's...? Who?
573
00:35:30,593 --> 00:35:31,617
Alice.
574
00:35:31,794 --> 00:35:35,821
We were just talking. Not...
It was not about sex or anything.
575
00:35:36,832 --> 00:35:39,198
I can't believe you hit Derek.
576
00:35:39,368 --> 00:35:41,996
I know. Did you see
the expression on his face?
577
00:35:42,171 --> 00:35:45,072
- That was cool.
- Listen.
578
00:35:45,474 --> 00:35:48,238
I know that we started out as foe.
579
00:35:48,644 --> 00:35:51,135
But after that courageous act...
580
00:35:51,313 --> 00:35:54,407
...that you showed me
against the one they call Derek...
581
00:35:54,984 --> 00:35:59,318
...maybe someday
we could become friends.
582
00:36:00,155 --> 00:36:03,852
Friends who ride majestic,
translucent steeds...
583
00:36:04,026 --> 00:36:07,189
...shooting flaming arrows
across the Bridge of Hemdale.
584
00:36:08,163 --> 00:36:11,360
I would follow you into the mists
of Avalon, if that's what you mean.
585
00:36:11,834 --> 00:36:14,860
Do you wanna see something cool
that only three people have seen?
586
00:36:19,341 --> 00:36:21,309
Okay, open your eyes.
587
00:36:22,911 --> 00:36:25,038
See that black smudge
right there on the blade?
588
00:36:25,214 --> 00:36:27,011
- Yeah.
- Look at it closely.
589
00:36:27,182 --> 00:36:29,650
- Pretty recognizable signature.
- No.
590
00:36:29,818 --> 00:36:32,252
Randy Jackson from American Idol.
591
00:36:32,421 --> 00:36:35,584
Why do you have Randy Jackson's
autograph on a martial-arts weapon?
592
00:36:35,758 --> 00:36:38,192
I bumped into him
and all I had was this sword...
593
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:41,124
...and you're not gonna not get
Randy Jackson's autograph.
594
00:36:41,530 --> 00:36:43,691
I would've done
the exact same thing.
595
00:36:44,967 --> 00:36:47,800
Now, do you wanna see
something really cool?
596
00:36:47,970 --> 00:36:50,097
- Of course.
- Turn off the lights.
597
00:36:52,374 --> 00:36:55,901
Industrial-strength
night-vision goggles.
598
00:36:56,078 --> 00:36:57,739
Holy Santa Claus shit.
599
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:00,971
Can you imagine if we had these
when we were 12?
600
00:37:01,150 --> 00:37:03,414
Even better.
We got them when we're 40.
601
00:37:03,886 --> 00:37:08,050
You know what's amazing? They're
not that noticeable on your face.
602
00:37:08,223 --> 00:37:09,986
- Right?
- Yeah.
603
00:37:11,493 --> 00:37:14,621
I can't believe I've been living here
for two weeks...
604
00:37:14,797 --> 00:37:16,628
...and I'm walking
around this place...
605
00:37:16,799 --> 00:37:19,393
...thinking I've got a huge doucher
for a stepbrother.
606
00:37:19,668 --> 00:37:21,898
Secretly, you're not a doucher.
607
00:37:22,438 --> 00:37:23,905
Let's play a game, all right?
608
00:37:24,273 --> 00:37:26,741
On the count of three,
name your favorite dinosaur.
609
00:37:26,909 --> 00:37:30,310
Don't even think about it, just name it.
Ready? One, two, three.
610
00:37:30,479 --> 00:37:31,969
- Velociraptor.
- Velociraptor.
611
00:37:32,514 --> 00:37:35,642
Favorite non-pornographic magazine
to masturbate to.
612
00:37:35,951 --> 00:37:38,146
- Good Housekeeping.
- Good Housekeeping.
613
00:37:38,587 --> 00:37:41,147
If you were a chick, who's
the one guy you'd sleep with?
614
00:37:41,457 --> 00:37:42,719
- John Stamos.
- John Stamos.
615
00:37:43,258 --> 00:37:45,192
- What?
- Did we just become best friends?
616
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:46,793
Yep.
617
00:37:47,162 --> 00:37:49,027
Do you wanna go do karate
in the garage?
618
00:37:49,198 --> 00:37:50,631
Yup!
619
00:38:10,152 --> 00:38:11,779
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
620
00:38:16,759 --> 00:38:18,886
I think they're starting to
like each other.
621
00:38:19,394 --> 00:38:21,487
I got a really bad feeling about this.
622
00:38:23,132 --> 00:38:24,622
- Sword fight!
- I know.
623
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:26,024
Sword fight!
624
00:38:30,172 --> 00:38:33,198
- Exactly the same!
- I know! That's so weird.
625
00:38:36,745 --> 00:38:37,905
Now you're in trouble.
626
00:38:40,082 --> 00:38:41,208
- Come on!
- No!
627
00:38:41,383 --> 00:38:43,681
They're betting against you,
but you can do it!
628
00:38:44,953 --> 00:38:46,318
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
629
00:38:48,056 --> 00:38:49,216
Is this a bad time?
630
00:38:49,391 --> 00:38:50,756
What the hell's going on?
631
00:38:50,926 --> 00:38:53,861
Ma, Mr. Doback, okay,
Dale and I were just...
632
00:38:54,029 --> 00:38:55,826
Please, stop calling me Mr. Doback.
633
00:38:55,998 --> 00:38:57,363
Sorry. Okay.
634
00:38:57,533 --> 00:39:00,127
Mom, Doback...
635
00:39:00,702 --> 00:39:03,034
...we think it would be very prudent...
636
00:39:03,205 --> 00:39:05,673
- Can we turn our beds into bunk beds?
- Yes.
637
00:39:06,208 --> 00:39:07,675
Why are you guys so sweaty?
638
00:39:07,843 --> 00:39:10,744
We've already figured out how.
The beds match up perfectly.
639
00:39:10,913 --> 00:39:14,178
It would give us so much extra space
in our room to do activities.
640
00:39:14,349 --> 00:39:15,373
Please say yes.
641
00:39:15,551 --> 00:39:17,815
You don't need our permission
to build bunk beds.
642
00:39:17,986 --> 00:39:20,216
You're adults.
You can do what you want.
643
00:39:20,389 --> 00:39:22,448
So?
644
00:39:23,625 --> 00:39:25,923
I'm not making myself clear.
645
00:39:26,094 --> 00:39:28,619
I don't give a fuck.
646
00:39:28,964 --> 00:39:31,194
Now, you both have
several interviews tomorrow.
647
00:39:31,366 --> 00:39:34,858
I would think you'd be focused
on that and not building bunk beds.
648
00:39:37,072 --> 00:39:39,632
- So?
- So?
649
00:39:39,808 --> 00:39:44,040
- We can? No?
- Yes. Yes, you can make bunk beds.
650
00:39:44,213 --> 00:39:46,477
- I knew it.
- Okay. You are not gonna regret this.
651
00:39:46,648 --> 00:39:48,445
We'll get so much more
activities done.
652
00:39:48,617 --> 00:39:51,552
This is the funnest night ever!
653
00:39:52,788 --> 00:39:55,086
This is so scary.
654
00:39:56,959 --> 00:39:59,621
- How you doing over there?
- Really good.
655
00:40:00,028 --> 00:40:01,052
Okay.
656
00:40:01,296 --> 00:40:03,287
Does your son know anything
about carpentry?
657
00:40:03,465 --> 00:40:06,025
No, not a th... Did I hear a drill?
658
00:40:06,602 --> 00:40:08,866
- Dale! Dale, no power tools!
- Power tools.
659
00:40:09,538 --> 00:40:11,199
- What?
- No power tools!
660
00:40:11,373 --> 00:40:15,036
- No, I forgot, I have to brush my teeth.
- That is not your toothbrush.
661
00:40:15,310 --> 00:40:17,710
Oh, okay. Well, I'm all done anyway.
662
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:19,211
- We did it.
- We did it!
663
00:40:19,381 --> 00:40:20,473
It looks amazing!
664
00:40:20,649 --> 00:40:23,709
Look at that! That looks like
what you'd buy from a store!
665
00:40:23,886 --> 00:40:26,548
- Should've been a bunk bed all along.
- Look at this space.
666
00:40:26,722 --> 00:40:29,623
- We could do aerobics in here.
- So many activities!
667
00:40:29,825 --> 00:40:31,816
- Do step class.
- It's making my head spin...
668
00:40:31,994 --> 00:40:34,258
...how many activities we can do.
- Play Army men.
669
00:40:34,429 --> 00:40:35,726
- Yeah.
- Come on.
670
00:40:40,702 --> 00:40:43,170
Hey, I never asked you.
Do you like guacamole?
671
00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:47,606
Oh, Brennan! Oh, God!
672
00:40:47,776 --> 00:40:49,937
Brennan! Brennan!
673
00:40:50,512 --> 00:40:52,673
Dad. Nancy. It's bad.
674
00:40:52,881 --> 00:40:54,974
It's so bad.
There's blood everywhere.
675
00:40:55,150 --> 00:40:58,745
The bunk beds were a terrible idea.
Why'd you let us do that?
676
00:40:58,921 --> 00:41:00,183
It's so bad!
677
00:41:00,355 --> 00:41:01,652
How would you describe that?
678
00:41:04,559 --> 00:41:07,357
- It's not so bad.
- Right. See?
679
00:41:09,164 --> 00:41:10,222
Put your beds back.
680
00:41:10,399 --> 00:41:12,526
Rumpus time is over.
681
00:41:12,701 --> 00:41:15,795
You got a big day tomorrow.
You need your eight hours.
682
00:41:18,874 --> 00:41:22,569
And although she was 88 years old,
she never stopped believing.
683
00:41:22,744 --> 00:41:24,473
It's 8:20 in the a.m.
684
00:41:24,646 --> 00:41:27,479
Coming up next, a recent study
by the American Council...
685
00:41:27,649 --> 00:41:29,640
Look at her. She's hot.
686
00:41:30,085 --> 00:41:34,078
Okay, guys, this is it.
Good luck. Don't be late.
687
00:41:34,256 --> 00:41:36,850
Dad, I need to borrow
some clothes for the interview...
688
00:41:37,025 --> 00:41:38,856
...since I don't have
any fancy clothes.
689
00:41:39,027 --> 00:41:42,292
You go in my closet, take whatever
you need. You guys gotta look sharp.
690
00:41:42,464 --> 00:41:44,455
This is the most important
day of our lives.
691
00:41:44,633 --> 00:41:46,100
- Okay.
- No pressure, no pressure.
692
00:41:46,268 --> 00:41:47,462
- All right? Relax.
- Okay.
693
00:41:47,636 --> 00:41:48,728
I gotta go. I gotta go.
694
00:41:48,904 --> 00:41:50,895
This is your day.
Remember that. You own it.
695
00:41:51,073 --> 00:41:52,938
- This is your one day!
- All right.
696
00:41:54,409 --> 00:41:57,207
Mr. Huff, Mr. Jeener
is ready for your interview.
697
00:41:57,379 --> 00:41:59,540
Actually, we'll be
interviewing as a team.
698
00:41:59,715 --> 00:42:01,945
We're here to fuck shit up.
699
00:42:06,588 --> 00:42:08,215
Move it!
700
00:42:16,732 --> 00:42:18,097
Hey!
701
00:42:18,266 --> 00:42:20,757
Well, Brennan, you certainly
have had a lot of jobs.
702
00:42:20,936 --> 00:42:22,301
I'm a bit of a spark plug.
703
00:42:22,471 --> 00:42:24,962
And, Human Resources lady,
when I think...
704
00:42:25,140 --> 00:42:28,041
- You know, it's... Actually, it's Pam.
- I'm sorry.
705
00:42:28,210 --> 00:42:31,145
- Well, Pan...
- No, my name is Pam.
706
00:42:31,313 --> 00:42:35,409
- Are you saying Pan or Pam?
- I'm saying Pam.
707
00:42:35,951 --> 00:42:38,920
Yeah, I'm sorry, who is this
gentleman sitting behind you?
708
00:42:39,087 --> 00:42:42,022
Hello, Ms. Lady. I'm Dale.
I'm Brennan's stepbrother...
709
00:42:42,190 --> 00:42:45,648
...and I think I might be able to help
with the Pan-Pam dilemma.
710
00:42:45,827 --> 00:42:47,761
- Yeah, that'd be great.
- Pam.
711
00:42:47,929 --> 00:42:49,556
- Pan.
- Pam.
712
00:42:49,731 --> 00:42:51,722
- Pand. There's a D on the end.
- With an M.
713
00:42:51,900 --> 00:42:57,429
- There's no D. It's Pam.
- It's like "comb," except P-A-N-M.
714
00:42:57,606 --> 00:43:00,302
- N-N. There's two N's.
- Two M's. That was the confusion.
715
00:43:00,475 --> 00:43:01,806
No, there's just one M.
716
00:43:01,977 --> 00:43:04,002
What do you say we interview you?
717
00:43:04,479 --> 00:43:07,346
All right. Yes, that's a
sometimes-useful exercise.
718
00:43:07,516 --> 00:43:08,915
Please put your hand down.
719
00:43:09,251 --> 00:43:10,275
Go ahead.
720
00:43:10,452 --> 00:43:13,785
How much money do you make
a year before taxes?
721
00:43:14,356 --> 00:43:16,654
Okay, I'm actually not comfortable
answering that.
722
00:43:16,825 --> 00:43:19,419
- Come on!
- We're doing the interview, not you.
723
00:43:19,594 --> 00:43:23,360
Here's a shot out of a cannon:
Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife.
724
00:43:23,532 --> 00:43:25,762
You gotta fuck one,
marry one, kill one. Go!
725
00:43:25,934 --> 00:43:27,561
I think we're done here. Thank you.
726
00:43:27,736 --> 00:43:31,570
Mr. Huff, under your references,
you listed Dale Doback...
727
00:43:31,740 --> 00:43:34,072
...which I know is this gentleman,
but you also listed...
728
00:43:34,242 --> 00:43:36,267
..."Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior."
- Yeah.
729
00:43:36,445 --> 00:43:39,039
Yeah, we are looking for people
we can contact.
730
00:43:39,214 --> 00:43:41,375
We wanna tell you the stuff
we're not good at.
731
00:43:41,583 --> 00:43:44,177
- Our weaknesses.
- So we're clear up front.
732
00:43:44,352 --> 00:43:47,321
- Okay.
- We're not generally comfortable...
733
00:43:47,489 --> 00:43:50,549
...in an office setting, I would say.
- I get cooped up.
734
00:43:50,725 --> 00:43:53,717
I won't go into an office
that's ever been used before.
735
00:43:53,895 --> 00:43:56,489
I am no good before 11 a.m.
736
00:43:56,665 --> 00:43:59,862
I also get headaches from computers,
so I can't be around them too long.
737
00:44:00,068 --> 00:44:01,433
I take stuff.
738
00:44:01,603 --> 00:44:03,935
I need someone to go up and down
with me in the elevator.
739
00:44:04,106 --> 00:44:07,098
I have a weakness for sweets.
740
00:44:07,275 --> 00:44:08,299
Other weaknesses?
741
00:44:08,477 --> 00:44:11,605
We're slow learners and we're
not particularly good listeners.
742
00:44:11,780 --> 00:44:15,511
- That'll be a huge problem.
- We're also slow learners.
743
00:44:15,684 --> 00:44:17,549
First of all,
I needed someone to work...
744
00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:19,482
Wait, shut your mouth.
Shut your mouth.
745
00:44:19,654 --> 00:44:20,951
I think we've had enough...
746
00:44:21,123 --> 00:44:23,148
- Shush up for one second.
- Shut your mouth.
747
00:44:23,558 --> 00:44:26,254
- Wait, shut your mouth.
- I'm sorry, what did you just say?
748
00:44:26,428 --> 00:44:28,953
- You're just coming off stupid.
- I'm coming off stupid?
749
00:44:29,131 --> 00:44:32,897
You're wearing tuxedos to a job that
requires you to clean bathrooms.
750
00:44:33,068 --> 00:44:36,799
- Please leave this office, we're done.
- Do we get any sort of souvenir?
751
00:44:36,972 --> 00:44:38,564
Get out of my office!
752
00:44:38,740 --> 00:44:42,471
I'm looking to hire guys I don't mind
hanging out with for 12 hours a day.
753
00:44:42,644 --> 00:44:44,111
You guys seem like cool guys.
754
00:44:44,279 --> 00:44:47,248
Got hair similar to mine,
you wear tuxedos to the interview.
755
00:44:47,415 --> 00:44:49,280
That's funny, it's ironic. I get that.
756
00:44:49,451 --> 00:44:53,080
Underplaying the whole formality of it.
I think that's funny as hell.
757
00:44:53,255 --> 00:44:56,122
So let's do this, you know?
You guys are hired. You're in.
758
00:44:56,291 --> 00:44:58,987
Unless you're the weirdest guys ever
and I don't see it.
759
00:44:59,161 --> 00:45:00,651
Great.
760
00:45:17,946 --> 00:45:20,676
- Was that a fart?
- I don't know.
761
00:45:20,849 --> 00:45:22,714
I can taste it.
762
00:45:22,951 --> 00:45:24,009
On my tongue.
763
00:45:24,186 --> 00:45:26,620
Okay, I'll be honest with you.
I did fart.
764
00:45:26,988 --> 00:45:29,821
Is that onion? Onion and...
Onion and ketchup.
765
00:45:29,991 --> 00:45:33,791
- It stinks. And this is a small room.
- Shit.
766
00:45:33,962 --> 00:45:36,328
Okay, now the tuxedos
seem kind of fucked up.
767
00:45:37,632 --> 00:45:41,261
God. We were so close.
768
00:45:41,670 --> 00:45:44,730
So, what do we do for jobs?
Is your dad really gonna kick us out?
769
00:45:44,906 --> 00:45:49,036
Listen, don't worry about my dad.
770
00:45:49,377 --> 00:45:51,868
Got him sewn up.
771
00:45:52,314 --> 00:45:55,215
We've gotta start thinking bigger,
though, Brennan.
772
00:45:56,084 --> 00:45:58,484
Listen, what are you really good at?
773
00:45:58,653 --> 00:46:01,315
Singing. I'm a world-class singer.
774
00:46:01,489 --> 00:46:04,219
See? Right there,
that's an amazing skill.
775
00:46:04,392 --> 00:46:05,825
Now, what am I good at?
776
00:46:05,994 --> 00:46:08,827
I can shred on the drums
and I'm a marketing wiz.
777
00:46:08,997 --> 00:46:10,828
Put all that together,
what do you get?
778
00:46:12,334 --> 00:46:15,326
- I don't know, a band?
- No, that's been done before.
779
00:46:15,503 --> 00:46:20,668
Even better: we are gonna start an
international entertainment company.
780
00:46:20,842 --> 00:46:23,037
The biggest and the best.
781
00:46:23,511 --> 00:46:26,537
And we're gonna call it
Prestige Worldwide.
782
00:46:27,082 --> 00:46:28,515
That sounds so cool.
783
00:46:28,883 --> 00:46:32,944
I feel like a lightning bolt
hit the tip of my penis.
784
00:46:33,121 --> 00:46:35,555
Yeah. Yeah.
785
00:46:35,957 --> 00:46:38,721
We're brothers. This is why we met.
786
00:46:38,893 --> 00:46:40,884
- To form this alliance, right?
- Right?
787
00:46:41,062 --> 00:46:43,553
That's why our parents met,
so this idea could happen.
788
00:46:43,732 --> 00:46:46,530
- Okay, what do we do?
- We get to work.
789
00:46:46,701 --> 00:46:50,034
And we hit the beat laboratory
right now. Let's go.
790
00:46:50,205 --> 00:46:51,763
- What?
- Wait.
791
00:46:51,940 --> 00:46:53,430
What time is it?
792
00:46:53,608 --> 00:46:55,098
- 4:30.
- 4:30.
793
00:46:55,277 --> 00:46:57,177
4:32.
794
00:46:59,447 --> 00:47:03,144
- I can't go down Whitworth right now.
- Okay.
795
00:47:03,885 --> 00:47:05,216
We should go this way.
796
00:47:06,521 --> 00:47:08,512
- What's up?
- Chris Gardocki.
797
00:47:08,690 --> 00:47:09,987
- What?
- He gets in my face...
798
00:47:10,158 --> 00:47:12,490
...and I just don't wanna
deal with the hassle now.
799
00:47:12,661 --> 00:47:15,459
- Are you this scared?
- Can we please go the long way?
800
00:47:17,165 --> 00:47:18,723
- Down Cutler?
- Yeah.
801
00:47:18,900 --> 00:47:20,663
But that's 45 minutes.
802
00:47:20,835 --> 00:47:22,598
You're gonna shame me
into doing this.
803
00:47:22,771 --> 00:47:25,239
- You sound stupid.
- You'll be sorry. Okay, I'm stupid.
804
00:47:25,407 --> 00:47:27,534
Oh, man.
805
00:47:28,276 --> 00:47:30,972
Oh, God, there they are.
806
00:47:32,347 --> 00:47:34,406
Oh, my God, is that Dale Doback?
807
00:47:34,582 --> 00:47:37,142
- Let's make him lick dog shit.
- Yeah.
808
00:47:38,820 --> 00:47:42,153
Hey, fag-stick. Long time, no see.
809
00:47:42,324 --> 00:47:44,952
Is that your boyfriend?
Is that your butt buddy?
810
00:47:45,260 --> 00:47:47,524
Look, Mr. Gardocki,
just leave me alone, will you?
811
00:47:47,696 --> 00:47:49,493
Shut your mouth, es�.
812
00:47:49,664 --> 00:47:52,827
You guys just go back and have fun
on your jungle gym, okay?
813
00:47:53,001 --> 00:47:55,196
Does butt buddy have a name?
814
00:47:55,370 --> 00:47:59,272
If you're referring to me as
butt buddy, yes, I do have a name.
815
00:47:59,441 --> 00:48:00,772
It's Brennan Huff.
816
00:48:00,942 --> 00:48:04,105
If you don't come over here
and lick that white dog shit...
817
00:48:04,279 --> 00:48:06,509
...l'm gonna plow into your nose
with my fist.
818
00:48:06,681 --> 00:48:10,549
- I'm not licking any white dog shit.
- I'll lick the shit if you leave us alone.
819
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:13,882
Dale, you're not licking
dog shit, okay? They're kids.
820
00:48:14,055 --> 00:48:16,319
- Brennan, it's just dog shit.
- It's ridiculous!
821
00:48:16,491 --> 00:48:20,450
- Hello, how are...?
- Oh, God!
822
00:48:20,795 --> 00:48:23,389
Leave him alone! Leave him alone!
823
00:48:25,033 --> 00:48:26,557
Get them!
824
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,877
So maybe you don't
go down that way anymore.
825
00:48:42,050 --> 00:48:43,915
Maybe you go the long way home.
826
00:48:44,085 --> 00:48:46,986
That's what we talked about.
We'll take the long way home.
827
00:48:47,155 --> 00:48:49,919
You know in that one scene
in The Wizard of Oz...
828
00:48:50,091 --> 00:48:52,924
...when the flying monkeys
pull apart the Scarecrow?
829
00:48:53,094 --> 00:48:55,119
That's what it was like.
830
00:48:55,296 --> 00:48:57,787
- It's okay, it's okay.
- I'm so sorry.
831
00:48:57,966 --> 00:49:00,594
Is my dad mad about
the stuff that happened?
832
00:49:00,769 --> 00:49:03,363
Robert was very upset, yes.
833
00:49:03,538 --> 00:49:06,234
He knows that you interviewed
as a team.
834
00:49:06,408 --> 00:49:07,932
And he heard about the fart.
835
00:49:08,109 --> 00:49:10,043
- Oh, he did?
- Yeah.
836
00:49:10,211 --> 00:49:11,940
You just couldn't hold it, or you...?
837
00:49:12,113 --> 00:49:15,048
- No. I thought it was gonna be silent.
- It was not silent.
838
00:49:15,216 --> 00:49:17,878
Just kept going, and it made a sound.
It was embarrassing.
839
00:49:18,052 --> 00:49:19,076
It got louder.
840
00:49:19,254 --> 00:49:22,121
So listen, Bobby,
I'll get those keys made tomorrow...
841
00:49:22,290 --> 00:49:25,782
...and then we'll start setting up times.
- Thank you.
842
00:49:27,061 --> 00:49:28,494
- Hi, Mom.
- Hi.
843
00:49:28,663 --> 00:49:29,857
- Okay, bye.
- Bye.
844
00:49:30,031 --> 00:49:32,261
- Always nice to see you.
- You too.
845
00:49:41,810 --> 00:49:42,970
Hey, guys.
846
00:49:43,144 --> 00:49:45,237
Looks like your
free ride's over, huh?
847
00:49:45,413 --> 00:49:47,210
Have fun living on the streets.
848
00:49:47,816 --> 00:49:50,307
Okay, cool. Good chatting, you guys.
Bye, Mom.
849
00:49:50,485 --> 00:49:51,713
- Bye.
- See you, buddy.
850
00:49:55,790 --> 00:49:57,189
What was he doing here?
851
00:49:57,459 --> 00:49:59,188
We're putting the house
on the market.
852
00:49:59,461 --> 00:50:02,897
- Where are we moving?
- Is the house haunted?
853
00:50:03,164 --> 00:50:05,724
Nancy and I are retiring...
854
00:50:05,900 --> 00:50:08,664
...and sailing around the world
on my boat.
855
00:50:08,837 --> 00:50:11,135
We are living the dream.
856
00:50:11,306 --> 00:50:12,603
Well, what about us?
857
00:50:14,642 --> 00:50:19,011
I'm sorry. Robert... We thought that...
858
00:50:19,180 --> 00:50:22,980
...you should take responsibility
for your own lives.
859
00:50:23,151 --> 00:50:24,345
This is the exciting part:
860
00:50:24,519 --> 00:50:26,851
We're going to put enough
money in your accounts...
861
00:50:27,021 --> 00:50:28,989
...for a security deposit
on an apartment.
862
00:50:29,157 --> 00:50:30,454
What's this all about?
863
00:50:30,625 --> 00:50:35,085
More than just money, we're gonna get
you another kind of support as well.
864
00:50:35,263 --> 00:50:38,096
You're both gonna see therapists.
Nancy thinks it'll help.
865
00:50:38,266 --> 00:50:42,032
- Guys, that's nonnegotiable.
- Hold on. We're not going on the boat...
866
00:50:42,437 --> 00:50:45,531
...Derek's selling the house,
we have to go to therapy?
867
00:50:46,774 --> 00:50:48,674
- What the fuck happened?
- Hey!
868
00:50:48,843 --> 00:50:51,937
Look, I know this seems
really, really sudden...
869
00:50:52,113 --> 00:50:54,445
...and just sort of unfair
and cruel and...
870
00:50:54,616 --> 00:50:57,710
- But it's nonnegotiable.
- But it's nonnegotiable.
871
00:50:57,886 --> 00:51:00,320
I got a bellyful
of white dog crap in me...
872
00:51:00,488 --> 00:51:02,388
...and now you lay this shit on me?
873
00:51:02,557 --> 00:51:05,526
You're adults. It's time
you started acting like adults.
874
00:51:05,793 --> 00:51:08,728
- Mom.
- I'm not backing down, Brennan.
875
00:51:08,997 --> 00:51:10,328
Don't even try.
876
00:51:10,498 --> 00:51:13,558
I know it seems hard,
but it's the best thing for both of you.
877
00:51:13,735 --> 00:51:15,362
We do it because we love you.
878
00:51:15,537 --> 00:51:19,234
Dad, I'm doing this because
I love you: fuck you.
879
00:51:19,407 --> 00:51:21,398
- Anything else?
- No.
880
00:51:21,576 --> 00:51:23,976
Bon voyage! Have a great time!
881
00:51:24,979 --> 00:51:26,913
Hey, what's up, Derek?
882
00:51:27,081 --> 00:51:28,105
Yeah.
883
00:51:28,283 --> 00:51:29,580
- Know what?
- Look what I got.
884
00:51:29,751 --> 00:51:33,016
I'm sitting here thinking we finally got
a family together here...
885
00:51:33,187 --> 00:51:36,679
...and now it's about to be taken away
because they think we're losers.
886
00:51:37,559 --> 00:51:41,051
- Because they don't understand us?
- Yeah.
887
00:51:41,229 --> 00:51:44,721
They don't get that this lifestyle
is a choice.
888
00:51:44,899 --> 00:51:48,027
And all they think about
is that stupid boat.
889
00:51:48,336 --> 00:51:51,567
I swear, I'm so pissed off
at my mom.
890
00:51:51,739 --> 00:51:55,231
As soon as she is of age,
I'm putting her in a home.
891
00:51:55,510 --> 00:51:58,138
We have got to get
Prestige Worldwide going.
892
00:51:58,313 --> 00:52:00,338
It's the thing that's
gonna save this family.
893
00:52:00,515 --> 00:52:03,348
I was thinking we should
have a investor presentation...
894
00:52:03,518 --> 00:52:04,780
...like on The Apprentice.
895
00:52:04,953 --> 00:52:07,114
We gotta start
with some capital somewhere.
896
00:52:07,288 --> 00:52:09,188
Here's the thing, though:
897
00:52:09,357 --> 00:52:12,554
If we're gonna start
a huge multinational corporation...
898
00:52:12,727 --> 00:52:14,251
...I have to hear you sing.
899
00:52:14,429 --> 00:52:17,125
Can't you just trust that
I'm a really, really good singer?
900
00:52:17,532 --> 00:52:20,933
Just one song, so I know
what your voice sounds like.
901
00:52:21,269 --> 00:52:23,203
Yeah, yeah. I'll just do it.
902
00:52:23,371 --> 00:52:27,535
No big deal. I'll just dive into it
and just start singing.
903
00:52:31,279 --> 00:52:34,646
Jesus, my heart is beating
so fast right now.
904
00:52:35,416 --> 00:52:37,543
Okay, just do it. Just do it.
905
00:52:37,719 --> 00:52:38,777
Just...
906
00:53:28,269 --> 00:53:29,327
You know, I don't know.
907
00:53:29,504 --> 00:53:32,769
I didn't sing too loud, because I don't
wanna wake up Robert and Nancy.
908
00:53:32,940 --> 00:53:36,376
My throat's sore. I've had
a sore throat for a month and a half.
909
00:53:36,644 --> 00:53:39,374
And this is not an acoustic
environment that's suitable...
910
00:53:39,547 --> 00:53:41,606
...to request this from me.
911
00:53:41,783 --> 00:53:45,048
You gotta know,
I'm not just some guy.
912
00:53:45,219 --> 00:53:48,711
Brennan, that is
the voice of an angel.
913
00:53:50,391 --> 00:53:53,121
Brennan, I can't even make
eye contact with you right now.
914
00:53:53,294 --> 00:53:56,058
Your voice is like a combination
of Fergie and Jesus.
915
00:53:56,230 --> 00:53:58,095
Why can't you do that
in front of people?
916
00:53:58,266 --> 00:54:00,097
Are you messing with me right now?
917
00:54:00,535 --> 00:54:03,197
It's me, Dale.
918
00:54:04,472 --> 00:54:05,496
You're good.
919
00:54:06,140 --> 00:54:08,540
- I know.
- This is gonna sound weird...
920
00:54:08,710 --> 00:54:13,807
...but for a second, I think
you took on the shape of a unicorn.
921
00:54:13,981 --> 00:54:17,815
I felt like I was hovering
above my own body...
922
00:54:17,985 --> 00:54:19,577
...watching myself sing.
923
00:54:19,754 --> 00:54:21,517
Now, let's move on
to other business.
924
00:54:21,689 --> 00:54:25,181
First thing tomorrow, we gotta get
cracking on this investor presentation.
925
00:54:25,359 --> 00:54:28,294
And guess what else.
This just came to me.
926
00:54:28,463 --> 00:54:31,899
- We're making a music video.
- Yeah!
927
00:54:33,034 --> 00:54:34,899
What do we do about Derek
and the house?
928
00:54:36,738 --> 00:54:38,672
Don't worry about him.
929
00:54:49,417 --> 00:54:50,645
Oh, it's a great "nabe."
930
00:54:50,818 --> 00:54:52,718
Frank Gifford
used to live down the block.
931
00:54:52,887 --> 00:54:56,015
- The Giff?
- Yeah, the Giff. Right down the block.
932
00:54:56,190 --> 00:54:58,750
I'm getting
a really good feeling about this.
933
00:54:58,926 --> 00:54:59,950
I am so glad.
934
00:55:00,128 --> 00:55:02,790
You get us that 10-year
interest-only loan, we got a deal.
935
00:55:02,964 --> 00:55:05,956
Hey, fuckers!
Welcome to the neighborhood!
936
00:55:06,134 --> 00:55:09,934
- My name is Craig.
- The neighbor is a Nazi?
937
00:55:10,104 --> 00:55:13,972
You guys ever need fertilizer,
I've got a lot of it. Close to 80 tons.
938
00:55:14,142 --> 00:55:18,044
Hey, folks! How you doing?
You're gonna love this neighborhood.
939
00:55:18,212 --> 00:55:19,873
Every single house here recycles.
940
00:55:20,047 --> 00:55:21,981
- Okay, we're done here.
- Yeah, okay.
941
00:55:22,150 --> 00:55:25,119
Hey, Derek, sprechen sie dick.
942
00:55:25,453 --> 00:55:27,887
Dale, I don't know how much
you know about therapy...
943
00:55:28,055 --> 00:55:31,252
...but it usually starts by you
telling me something about yourself.
944
00:55:31,793 --> 00:55:33,852
I work at a college as a janitor...
945
00:55:34,028 --> 00:55:36,656
...even though I'm smarter
than most of the people there.
946
00:55:36,831 --> 00:55:39,732
Sometimes I see an equation
written on a blackboard...
947
00:55:39,901 --> 00:55:42,893
...like half an equation,
and I'll just figure it out.
948
00:55:43,070 --> 00:55:45,402
- Is this Good Will Hunting?
- No.
949
00:55:45,740 --> 00:55:48,573
It sounds a lot like the plot
of Good Will Hunting.
950
00:55:48,743 --> 00:55:52,474
Yeah. Anyway.
My best friend is Ben Affleck...
951
00:55:52,647 --> 00:55:55,741
So I thought we'd begin
talking about your parents' divorce.
952
00:55:56,050 --> 00:55:57,074
Okay.
953
00:55:57,251 --> 00:55:59,276
How old were you
when they got divorced?
954
00:55:59,453 --> 00:56:01,580
- Fifteen.
- That's a hard age.
955
00:56:01,856 --> 00:56:04,689
- Yes. Yeah.
- Do you wanna talk...
956
00:56:04,859 --> 00:56:06,986
...about some of those feelings?
- I love you.
957
00:56:07,161 --> 00:56:10,597
- Obviously, you don't know me.
- I love you so much.
958
00:56:10,765 --> 00:56:14,166
Thank you. And I will take that
as a feeling that you have...
959
00:56:14,335 --> 00:56:16,701
...of comfortability with me.
960
00:56:16,871 --> 00:56:18,532
It's more than comfortability.
961
00:56:18,706 --> 00:56:21,903
- I mean, I fucking love you.
- Okay. I th...
962
00:56:22,076 --> 00:56:23,976
I'm just thinking
about our life together.
963
00:56:24,545 --> 00:56:26,513
I feel like I'm walking on a cloud.
964
00:56:26,681 --> 00:56:28,808
My penis is tingling right now.
965
00:56:29,083 --> 00:56:32,678
- That is so off-putting.
- You're not feeling this?
966
00:56:33,020 --> 00:56:36,786
In no way, shape or form do I feel
any feelings of intimacy towards you...
967
00:56:36,958 --> 00:56:38,949
...in any way whatsoever.
968
00:56:39,126 --> 00:56:40,957
You got a really dope
front lawn here.
969
00:56:41,128 --> 00:56:43,062
You and your homeboys
can play on that.
970
00:56:43,231 --> 00:56:45,199
- You can just say "It looks good."
- Yeah.
971
00:56:45,366 --> 00:56:46,390
No, that's how I talk.
972
00:56:46,567 --> 00:56:49,900
Oh, you got a really fresh
entryway here. Pretty awesome.
973
00:56:50,071 --> 00:56:52,733
- show you the front of the house,
which is actual...
974
00:56:52,907 --> 00:56:56,968
Will you vultures please give us some
privacy? He just died last night.
975
00:56:57,144 --> 00:56:58,668
What is going on here?
976
00:56:58,846 --> 00:57:01,144
It was the asbestos in here,
that's what did it!
977
00:57:01,315 --> 00:57:02,782
I've seen too many dead bodies.
978
00:57:02,950 --> 00:57:05,350
- I can't be in here. I can't.
- No, no, no.
979
00:57:08,256 --> 00:57:11,282
- Not bad.
- Eat shit, Derek.
980
00:57:11,659 --> 00:57:15,095
- Awesome B-day party, broheisens.
- You the man, Derek.
981
00:57:15,263 --> 00:57:17,629
Okay, who's this from? TJ?
982
00:57:17,798 --> 00:57:19,766
Where are
the rest of my gifts, dude?
983
00:57:19,934 --> 00:57:21,765
Totally joking around, TJ.
984
00:57:21,936 --> 00:57:23,198
All right.
985
00:57:23,371 --> 00:57:27,740
Oh, yes! Yes! Callaway 3-wood.
986
00:57:27,909 --> 00:57:29,171
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
987
00:57:30,077 --> 00:57:31,101
Yeah.
988
00:57:31,545 --> 00:57:33,843
- Bomb it down the fairway, bitches!
- That's right.
989
00:57:36,651 --> 00:57:39,119
Hi, my name is Jim.
Wanna suck my dick for money?
990
00:57:39,687 --> 00:57:41,917
- It's just me. Hi.
- Oh, my God.
991
00:57:42,089 --> 00:57:44,387
What are you doing?
This is the men's bathroom.
992
00:57:44,558 --> 00:57:46,389
Happy anniversary.
993
00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:48,892
- It's our second date.
- What?
994
00:57:49,063 --> 00:57:52,999
Listen, I'm sick of being
all coy and bashful, Dale. Okay?
995
00:57:53,167 --> 00:57:56,034
- We're in the bathroom.
- This'll just take a minute.
996
00:57:56,203 --> 00:57:59,468
There's really little you can
do about it. Let me just hop on.
997
00:58:01,042 --> 00:58:03,010
It's all slippery.
998
00:58:03,978 --> 00:58:05,002
Oh, my God!
999
00:58:10,484 --> 00:58:13,214
It's getting tingly.
Something's gonna happen, Alice!
1000
00:58:21,595 --> 00:58:23,529
Oh, we just had sex.
1001
00:58:23,698 --> 00:58:27,065
- Just the way I imagined it.
- I like you.
1002
00:58:28,102 --> 00:58:29,262
I love you.
1003
00:58:29,437 --> 00:58:31,598
- Stay golden, Ponyboy. I gotta pee.
- Okay.
1004
00:58:33,607 --> 00:58:35,734
Oh, my God.
1005
00:58:35,977 --> 00:58:38,002
You're incredible.
1006
00:58:38,179 --> 00:58:40,579
Say hello to my little friend.
1007
00:58:42,717 --> 00:58:45,151
- Just kidding. It's from Scarface.
- Scarface.
1008
00:58:47,121 --> 00:58:48,486
Shut the fuck up!
1009
00:58:49,290 --> 00:58:51,349
- Sweet-ass gift, Teej.
- Yeah, not bad.
1010
00:58:51,792 --> 00:58:53,259
- I got it all mapped out.
- Okay.
1011
00:58:53,427 --> 00:58:56,760
- I'm following your lead, though.
- I'll get all eyes on us.
1012
00:58:56,931 --> 00:58:58,296
- Okay.
- Just like we planned.
1013
00:58:58,466 --> 00:59:00,559
And then we'll drop the hammer.
1014
00:59:00,768 --> 00:59:04,636
What were Dale and Brennan doing
with my video camera, do you know?
1015
00:59:04,805 --> 00:59:07,467
I have no idea. And frankly,
I really don't care. So...
1016
00:59:08,509 --> 00:59:10,033
I would like to say a few things.
1017
00:59:10,211 --> 00:59:13,476
Derek, you are an outstanding
young man, son.
1018
00:59:13,647 --> 00:59:16,172
And I would like say that
this is the image I have:
1019
00:59:16,350 --> 00:59:19,547
That sometimes when I'm making love
to your mother and I realize that...
1020
00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:22,154
...this is where you came from,
that I'm so moved...
1021
00:59:22,323 --> 00:59:25,554
...that I talked to my lawyer,
and not only are you going to be...
1022
00:59:25,726 --> 00:59:28,786
...in my heart forever, but you're
going to be in my will, young man.
1023
00:59:28,963 --> 00:59:30,521
- Okay. Okay.
- Okay?
1024
00:59:30,798 --> 00:59:32,925
- Robert, that was fucking awesome.
- Thank you.
1025
00:59:33,100 --> 00:59:35,864
You got a lot of this, buddy.
And you got a lot of these.
1026
00:59:36,070 --> 00:59:37,298
Thank you.
1027
00:59:37,471 --> 00:59:39,871
Everyone, if I could have
your attention, please.
1028
00:59:40,875 --> 00:59:42,365
For those of you
who don't know me...
1029
00:59:42,543 --> 00:59:43,976
...my name's Dale Doback.
- Check. Check.
1030
00:59:44,145 --> 00:59:46,978
I'm Robert's other son,
the biological one.
1031
00:59:47,181 --> 00:59:49,046
Check. Check.
1032
00:59:49,216 --> 00:59:51,912
Probably wondering
why we gathered you here tonight...
1033
00:59:52,086 --> 00:59:53,883
...besides Derek's birthday.
1034
00:59:54,455 --> 00:59:57,447
We got a special surprise for you,
Derek, and everybody here...
1035
00:59:57,625 --> 00:59:58,717
- Check, check.
- Check.
1036
00:59:58,893 --> 01:00:00,861
- Dale. No, please.
- Don't interrupt them.
1037
01:00:01,028 --> 01:00:03,019
- I'm begging you.
- You wanna shut this down?
1038
01:00:03,197 --> 01:00:05,165
- Just hold on.
- Derek, for your birthday...
1039
01:00:05,332 --> 01:00:06,731
...we thought we'd roll out...
1040
01:00:06,901 --> 01:00:09,096
...a once-in-a-lifetime
business opportunity.
1041
01:00:09,270 --> 01:00:10,396
Happy birthday, Derek.
1042
01:00:10,938 --> 01:00:12,200
Music.
1043
01:00:15,743 --> 01:00:20,874
Prestige Worldwide,
wide, wide, wide.
1044
01:00:21,048 --> 01:00:23,312
Prestige Worldwide.
1045
01:00:23,484 --> 01:00:26,282
- The first word in entertainment.
- First word.
1046
01:00:26,587 --> 01:00:28,521
- Management.
- Financial portfolios.
1047
01:00:28,689 --> 01:00:30,486
- Insurance.
- Computers.
1048
01:00:30,658 --> 01:00:33,991
- Black leather gloves.
- Research and development.
1049
01:00:34,228 --> 01:00:37,129
Putting in the man-hours to study
the science of what you need.
1050
01:00:37,298 --> 01:00:40,290
Last week we put Liquid Paper
on a bee...
1051
01:00:40,468 --> 01:00:41,765
...and it died.
1052
01:00:41,936 --> 01:00:43,301
- Security.
- Security.
1053
01:00:43,471 --> 01:00:44,733
- And...
- And.
1054
01:00:47,208 --> 01:00:48,641
- Possibly you.
- Possibly you.
1055
01:00:48,909 --> 01:00:51,935
- Oh, this is classic. This is...
- We'd like to present...
1056
01:00:52,780 --> 01:00:56,375
...the world premiere of Prestige
Worldwide's first music video...
1057
01:00:56,550 --> 01:01:00,714
...by our first act, Huff and Doback.
1058
01:01:00,888 --> 01:01:03,857
- Roll it.
- Roll it.
1059
01:01:04,391 --> 01:01:08,157
Pay close attention, Dad.
It's gonna look familiar.
1060
01:01:08,329 --> 01:01:11,264
- This is... This is perfect.
- Is that my boat?
1061
01:01:11,432 --> 01:01:13,696
Yes, it is.
1062
01:01:14,068 --> 01:01:15,467
What are you doing on my boat?
1063
01:01:15,636 --> 01:01:18,127
The Ni�a, the Pinta
The Santa Mar�a
1064
01:01:18,305 --> 01:01:20,830
I'll do you in the bottom
While you're drinking sangria
1065
01:01:21,008 --> 01:01:23,442
Nachos and Lemonheads
On my dad's boat
1066
01:01:23,611 --> 01:01:25,636
You won't go down
'Cause my dick can float
1067
01:01:25,813 --> 01:01:28,373
We sail around the world
And go port to port
1068
01:01:28,549 --> 01:01:31,143
Every time I come
I produce a quart
1069
01:01:31,318 --> 01:01:33,616
That is offensive. Brennan, Dale.
1070
01:01:33,787 --> 01:01:36,221
I gotta have me my boats and ho's
1071
01:01:36,390 --> 01:01:38,551
Deadliest Catch without the crabs
1072
01:01:38,726 --> 01:01:41,354
We're almost out of gas
Call the Arabs
1073
01:01:41,529 --> 01:01:43,793
Pull up the anchor
'Cause we're leaving dry land
1074
01:01:43,964 --> 01:01:46,455
Get below deck
With a dick in your hand
1075
01:01:46,634 --> 01:01:48,864
Boats and ho's
Boats and ho's
1076
01:01:49,036 --> 01:01:51,834
I gotta have me my boats and ho's
1077
01:01:52,006 --> 01:01:54,201
Are you ready for some
world-class vocalization?
1078
01:01:54,375 --> 01:01:56,036
- Get a partner.
- Wait a minute.
1079
01:01:56,210 --> 01:01:58,838
- Who's steering the boat?
- Dad, please shut up.
1080
01:01:59,013 --> 01:02:00,241
Please shut up!
1081
01:02:10,024 --> 01:02:11,821
Yeah!
1082
01:02:17,464 --> 01:02:18,897
So...
1083
01:02:19,066 --> 01:02:21,330
...big question is:
1084
01:02:21,902 --> 01:02:25,360
Aside from the damage to the boat,
which we will fix...
1085
01:02:26,440 --> 01:02:28,271
...what'd you think
of the presentation?
1086
01:02:28,442 --> 01:02:34,540
Brennan, I think that what you did
to Robert's boat was horrid.
1087
01:02:34,715 --> 01:02:37,047
Having said that,
I think that both of you boys...
1088
01:02:37,218 --> 01:02:40,676
...showed a lot of enthusiasm
and inventiveness.
1089
01:02:40,854 --> 01:02:42,913
Yes. Thank you.
1090
01:02:43,224 --> 01:02:45,215
You gotta be kidding me.
1091
01:02:46,093 --> 01:02:48,721
They destroyed our dream
and you're calling it inventive.
1092
01:02:48,896 --> 01:02:51,490
- No, no, no. I didn't mean it like that.
- Yes, you did.
1093
01:02:51,665 --> 01:02:52,893
Come on, you did.
1094
01:02:53,300 --> 01:02:56,633
It's gonna be four years, at least,
before we can sail anywhere.
1095
01:02:56,804 --> 01:03:00,205
- And you could care less, admit it.
- I will not admit that...
1096
01:03:00,374 --> 01:03:02,774
...because it is not true.
- Oh, yeah.
1097
01:03:02,943 --> 01:03:06,003
But, you know,
I do think that you could show...
1098
01:03:06,180 --> 01:03:10,241
...a little bit more attentiveness
to your son and your stepson...
1099
01:03:10,417 --> 01:03:12,078
...who obviously need you.
1100
01:03:12,253 --> 01:03:13,515
It's true, Dr. Doback.
1101
01:03:13,687 --> 01:03:16,554
You've been very cold
and unsupportive of our dreams.
1102
01:03:16,724 --> 01:03:18,521
You wrecked my fucking boat,
you goon!
1103
01:03:18,692 --> 01:03:20,751
Don't speak to my son like that.
1104
01:03:20,928 --> 01:03:23,453
Your son's costing me $80,000.
1105
01:03:23,631 --> 01:03:26,862
We could bicker about this all night,
but what's done is done, Dad.
1106
01:03:27,034 --> 01:03:29,867
- Are you guys gonna invest or not?
- That's it! That's it!
1107
01:03:30,037 --> 01:03:31,800
- What are you doing?
- Grab the wheel!
1108
01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:34,403
I can't believe
you're being so stingy.
1109
01:03:34,575 --> 01:03:37,066
- Robert, come down.
- It's a simple business decision.
1110
01:03:37,244 --> 01:03:38,905
You jackaloons!
1111
01:03:39,079 --> 01:03:42,515
You're failures! Failures!
1112
01:03:42,683 --> 01:03:45,550
And you're embarrassing yourself,
you geriatric fuck!
1113
01:03:45,719 --> 01:03:47,152
- Brennan.
- Two things:
1114
01:03:47,321 --> 01:03:50,119
You keep your liver-spotted hands
off my beautiful mother.
1115
01:03:50,291 --> 01:03:51,349
She's a saint!
1116
01:03:51,525 --> 01:03:55,086
Then you sit down and you write Dale
and Brennan a check for $ 10,000.
1117
01:03:55,262 --> 01:03:56,286
Oh, stop it.
1118
01:03:56,463 --> 01:04:00,331
Or I'm gonna shove one of those fake
hearing devices so far up your ass...
1119
01:04:00,501 --> 01:04:02,264
- Brennan!
...you can hear the sound...
1120
01:04:02,436 --> 01:04:05,269
...of your small intestine
as it produces shit!
1121
01:04:06,040 --> 01:04:07,701
- All right, here we go.
- Oh, my Lord.
1122
01:04:07,875 --> 01:04:10,935
Somebody should've done this
a long time ago, and I'm gonna do it.
1123
01:04:11,111 --> 01:04:12,578
- What are you doing?
- Robert.
1124
01:04:12,746 --> 01:04:14,577
There are consequences
for your actions.
1125
01:04:14,748 --> 01:04:17,444
- No! Robert!
- Dad!
1126
01:04:17,618 --> 01:04:19,711
- This is not the answer.
- You're next, mister.
1127
01:04:19,887 --> 01:04:21,013
- You understand me?
- Yes.
1128
01:04:21,188 --> 01:04:24,248
- Certain behaviors...
- Let go of me.
1129
01:04:24,491 --> 01:04:27,551
...will not be tolerated!
- My ass is on fire!
1130
01:04:37,805 --> 01:04:42,367
Wow, the tree looks great, Nancy.
Really tasteful.
1131
01:04:42,543 --> 01:04:46,070
Thank you, Dale. That's a very nice
sweater you're wearing.
1132
01:04:46,480 --> 01:04:49,847
It was my mom's.
I took the shoulder pads out.
1133
01:04:50,017 --> 01:04:51,917
Oh, and, Brennan? Denise called...
1134
01:04:52,086 --> 01:04:54,646
...and she said she can't go out
with you on New Year's Eve...
1135
01:04:54,822 --> 01:04:57,689
...because she's not your girlfriend,
she's your therapist.
1136
01:04:57,858 --> 01:04:59,189
- Is that what she said?
- Yeah.
1137
01:04:59,360 --> 01:05:00,418
She's a rascal.
1138
01:05:00,994 --> 01:05:02,928
Hey, Dad, Nancy?
1139
01:05:03,097 --> 01:05:08,160
Would it be cool if Brennan and I
opened just one present each...
1140
01:05:08,335 --> 01:05:10,496
...since it's Christmas Eve?
1141
01:05:10,671 --> 01:05:13,538
I'm gonna go down to the
Cheesecake Factory, have a drink.
1142
01:05:16,210 --> 01:05:19,304
But it's Christmas Eve.
1143
01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:21,243
Merry Christmas.
1144
01:05:22,015 --> 01:05:23,846
- Yes.
- Yeah.
1145
01:05:24,017 --> 01:05:26,212
I had my eye on one.
1146
01:05:26,653 --> 01:05:28,553
I hope it's what I think it is.
1147
01:05:28,722 --> 01:05:30,917
Oh, my God. Hulk Hands!
1148
01:05:31,091 --> 01:05:32,581
Wait, Dale got Hulk Hands?
1149
01:05:37,765 --> 01:05:41,132
Well, you reek of Scotch
and cheesecake.
1150
01:05:42,102 --> 01:05:43,592
You know...
1151
01:05:44,405 --> 01:05:49,172
...tonight at the Cheesecake Factory
was the happiest I've been in months.
1152
01:05:49,576 --> 01:05:52,977
- Well, then I feel very sorry for you.
- Well, just...
1153
01:05:53,147 --> 01:05:57,083
Nancy, I don't know if I can ever
forgive them for wrecking my boat.
1154
01:05:57,251 --> 01:05:59,947
- Why are you giving up?
- I'm not giving up. I'm not.
1155
01:06:00,120 --> 01:06:04,113
- You are. You're giving up on our boys.
- But they're 40.
1156
01:06:04,291 --> 01:06:07,260
I don't care how old they are.
They're still our children.
1157
01:06:07,428 --> 01:06:10,488
Well, sometime it's got to matter
how old they are.
1158
01:06:10,664 --> 01:06:13,394
That's all we do, is...
Oh, sweet Jesus.
1159
01:06:13,567 --> 01:06:17,128
Oh, it...
You know, they'll go back to bed.
1160
01:06:17,971 --> 01:06:19,734
See? They're sleepwalking.
1161
01:06:19,907 --> 01:06:21,898
No. No.
1162
01:06:22,075 --> 01:06:24,305
See, back to bed.
1163
01:06:24,478 --> 01:06:25,740
They'll be fine.
1164
01:06:26,146 --> 01:06:28,614
Just nonsense.
I'm gonna wake them up.
1165
01:06:28,782 --> 01:06:32,240
- No. Why would you do such a thing?
- Well, because it's...
1166
01:06:32,419 --> 01:06:34,819
- Never, ever wake up a sleepwalker.
- See, that's it.
1167
01:06:34,988 --> 01:06:36,455
- We can't ever do anything.
- No.
1168
01:06:36,623 --> 01:06:39,091
But they could do real harm
to themselves or others.
1169
01:06:39,259 --> 01:06:41,819
- Oh, the Christmas presents.
- No, guys... No, no, don't...
1170
01:06:41,995 --> 01:06:44,361
- No. But...
- I think we should take control.
1171
01:06:44,531 --> 01:06:47,762
- It's always about them.
- How do you propose to do that?
1172
01:06:47,935 --> 01:06:50,096
- Oh, Jesus.
- Whatever you do, don't wake them.
1173
01:06:50,270 --> 01:06:53,296
They might do real harm
to themselves or others.
1174
01:06:53,474 --> 01:06:56,307
- Not everybody does know that.
- Oh, the Christmas tree!
1175
01:06:56,477 --> 01:06:59,640
Oh, not the... No, don't...
All right, that's it!
1176
01:06:59,813 --> 01:07:01,474
- I'm waking them up!
- No! No!
1177
01:07:01,648 --> 01:07:03,275
- Don't wake them up!
- That's a myth!
1178
01:07:03,450 --> 01:07:04,940
- Wake up, both of you.
- Don't.
1179
01:07:07,020 --> 01:07:09,614
I told you! I told you!
1180
01:07:10,390 --> 01:07:12,881
Stop it! Don't hurt him!
1181
01:07:13,327 --> 01:07:16,524
The pictures! Nancy!
1182
01:07:20,901 --> 01:07:22,766
Robert!
1183
01:07:29,510 --> 01:07:32,172
I mean, I was driving around
with a buddy of mine, Topher.
1184
01:07:32,346 --> 01:07:33,745
You guys remember Topher, right?
1185
01:07:33,914 --> 01:07:36,314
Driving around, he has this
brand-new Testarossa, right?
1186
01:07:36,917 --> 01:07:40,478
We hit this four-point buck. Dead.
Lying in the road.
1187
01:07:40,754 --> 01:07:42,881
Long story short,
we sue the state of Michigan.
1188
01:07:43,056 --> 01:07:47,584
I end up getting 125 G's. Okay?
You know what I spent that money on?
1189
01:07:47,761 --> 01:07:50,025
Sniper rifle to hunt deer.
1190
01:07:52,466 --> 01:07:54,696
Either way, the deers lose,
my friends.
1191
01:08:00,340 --> 01:08:02,865
Good riddance.
Eat all the damn flowers, anyway.
1192
01:08:03,043 --> 01:08:04,476
If you'll excuse me...
1193
01:08:04,645 --> 01:08:08,445
...I think I'm going to go into
the other room to check my hair.
1194
01:08:08,916 --> 01:08:10,645
- Excuse me.
- Sorry, everybody.
1195
01:08:10,817 --> 01:08:12,717
If you'll excuse
my space-cadet wife here.
1196
01:08:12,886 --> 01:08:15,047
Let's just say the meds
aren't helping.
1197
01:08:15,956 --> 01:08:19,153
I'm kidding. Kidding. But not at all.
1198
01:08:19,326 --> 01:08:21,624
I have to get some more gravy.
1199
01:08:21,795 --> 01:08:23,763
- Oh, Dale, it's right there.
- Oh, no.
1200
01:08:23,931 --> 01:08:26,695
Shush up, Nancy.
I have to get some more bread.
1201
01:08:27,601 --> 01:08:29,626
What did I do to deserve that?
1202
01:08:33,907 --> 01:08:35,772
What do any of us do
to deserve anything?
1203
01:08:35,943 --> 01:08:39,970
I pay enough taxes to support
all these lazy goddamn liberals.
1204
01:08:42,049 --> 01:08:46,986
Get off me! Off!
Get back. Get back! Back!
1205
01:08:54,595 --> 01:08:56,654
- What do you want?
- Merry Christmas, darling.
1206
01:08:56,830 --> 01:08:59,594
- Merry Christmas.
- Oh, that was torture.
1207
01:09:01,234 --> 01:09:04,692
I couldn't eat another bite of turkey
without thinking of you inside of me.
1208
01:09:04,871 --> 01:09:06,600
Come on, let's try something illegal.
1209
01:09:06,974 --> 01:09:09,101
So, Tommy, what did you
get for Christmas?
1210
01:09:09,276 --> 01:09:14,509
Well, Santa brought me the Bowflex
and $ 1000 in fresh-minted $50 bills.
1211
01:09:14,681 --> 01:09:19,345
Wanna know what I got
for Christmas? A crushed soul.
1212
01:09:23,123 --> 01:09:25,114
- Alice, please.
- Sing along, Santa.
1213
01:09:25,292 --> 01:09:26,452
You know this song.
1214
01:09:26,627 --> 01:09:28,822
What is that noise?
1215
01:09:29,663 --> 01:09:31,130
It's... This is the ghost.
1216
01:09:31,398 --> 01:09:34,299
- Just try to be quiet. Okay.
- You're right. You're right.
1217
01:09:34,468 --> 01:09:36,902
- We've got to be discreet.
- All right.
1218
01:09:37,070 --> 01:09:40,130
No, no! Oh, hey.
1219
01:09:40,540 --> 01:09:43,703
Are you all still talking in here?
1220
01:09:43,877 --> 01:09:44,901
What are you doing?
1221
01:09:46,279 --> 01:09:49,339
Alice was moving a chair from the
living room into the dining room...
1222
01:09:49,516 --> 01:09:52,883
...for an extra chair
and her back went out.
1223
01:09:53,053 --> 01:09:57,251
And I just did the best thing,
which is get right on the muscles...
1224
01:09:57,424 --> 01:09:59,085
- Muscles.
...so they don't seize up.
1225
01:09:59,259 --> 01:10:01,853
Just add some heat to it.
1226
01:10:04,731 --> 01:10:06,130
Damn it, Dale, sit down.
1227
01:10:06,299 --> 01:10:09,826
It's just a real deep, tight muscle.
1228
01:10:10,003 --> 01:10:11,766
Hey, sweetie,
can you grab me a beer?
1229
01:10:11,938 --> 01:10:13,667
- I'll get you another Heineken.
- Yeah.
1230
01:10:13,840 --> 01:10:15,831
Merry Christmas.
1231
01:10:16,309 --> 01:10:19,142
And how about you, Tiffany,
what did you get for Christmas?
1232
01:10:19,312 --> 01:10:21,872
I got this Mikimoto pearl necklace.
1233
01:10:22,049 --> 01:10:25,450
But next year I'm gonna ask
Santa for breast implants...
1234
01:10:25,619 --> 01:10:27,519
...because I'm impatient
with my body.
1235
01:10:27,688 --> 01:10:31,089
Hey, Tiffany. Wanna know
what I got? A crushed soul.
1236
01:10:31,358 --> 01:10:32,825
You mentioned that earlier.
1237
01:10:34,294 --> 01:10:35,784
- So good.
- Oh, gosh!
1238
01:10:35,962 --> 01:10:39,796
It's gone into a real bad spasm,
so I put a yoga move on her.
1239
01:10:41,368 --> 01:10:44,496
- grant me this one,
because I was pretty wasted.
1240
01:10:44,671 --> 01:10:46,298
So I put my lips
around that breathalyzer...
1241
01:10:46,940 --> 01:10:49,238
...and I saw those numerals pop up:
1242
01:10:49,409 --> 01:10:53,675
0.079.
1243
01:10:54,381 --> 01:10:58,818
So I started going to Chad
Michael Murray's Christmas party.
1244
01:10:58,985 --> 01:11:01,078
I think that was the year.
And just driving...
1245
01:11:01,254 --> 01:11:04,815
I have to interrupt you. Robert, while
the children are in the living room...
1246
01:11:04,991 --> 01:11:07,926
...I think this would be a good time
to make our announcement.
1247
01:11:08,095 --> 01:11:10,996
- What's going on?
- It's over.
1248
01:11:11,732 --> 01:11:14,496
I'm gonna be moving in
with my friend Jack Handle...
1249
01:11:14,668 --> 01:11:17,159
...and Nancy found a townhouse
in the city.
1250
01:11:18,438 --> 01:11:20,030
What is this? What's happening?
1251
01:11:20,207 --> 01:11:23,643
What Robert is trying to say
is that we are getting a divorce.
1252
01:11:24,044 --> 01:11:26,706
- Don't do this.
- No. No!
1253
01:11:26,880 --> 01:11:28,575
- I could've called this one.
- No.
1254
01:11:28,749 --> 01:11:30,614
- Yeah.
- Is it our fault?
1255
01:11:30,784 --> 01:11:32,809
- Is it because we were bad?
- No. No.
1256
01:11:32,986 --> 01:11:35,978
The main thing that
Robert and I talked about...
1257
01:11:36,156 --> 01:11:38,716
...is that we did not want you two
to blame yourselves.
1258
01:11:38,892 --> 01:11:42,259
- What can we do to fix it?
- Dale, honey, are you okay?
1259
01:11:42,429 --> 01:11:45,330
- Why are you calling him "honey"?
- I cannot stress this enough:
1260
01:11:45,499 --> 01:11:49,094
- It is not your fault.
- Whose fault is it?
1261
01:11:49,269 --> 01:11:51,669
- Fuck it, I wanna fucking know!
- Let's cut the shit.
1262
01:11:51,838 --> 01:11:55,433
- It is directly your fault.
- Robert.
1263
01:11:55,609 --> 01:11:57,076
You destroyed my boat.
1264
01:11:57,244 --> 01:11:58,802
You beat me up in your sleep...
1265
01:11:58,979 --> 01:12:03,006
...and worst of all, you made
Nancy and I resent each other.
1266
01:12:03,183 --> 01:12:07,882
- It is absolutely 150 percent your fault!
- Of course it's their fault.
1267
01:12:08,054 --> 01:12:11,455
They're the world's biggest dickheads,
and they're living in your house.
1268
01:12:11,625 --> 01:12:14,185
- Shut up, Derek.
- I'm sorry, but that...
1269
01:12:15,162 --> 01:12:18,563
Please don't cry like that.
Please don't, Brennan.
1270
01:12:22,402 --> 01:12:26,429
- Mommy!
- Dale!
1271
01:12:26,606 --> 01:12:29,473
I told you that they would feel
completely to blame.
1272
01:12:29,643 --> 01:12:33,409
- Oh, let's grow up.
- I think I'm going to throw up.
1273
01:12:33,580 --> 01:12:35,980
- I think I'm gonna throw up...
- Don't throw up.
1274
01:12:36,149 --> 01:12:39,050
...all the nice dinner that I had.
I'm gonna throw it up.
1275
01:12:40,220 --> 01:12:42,484
- You're not gonna throw up.
- He's gonna throw up.
1276
01:12:43,557 --> 01:12:46,390
- Come on.
- My God, he threw up. Oh, this is ugly.
1277
01:12:46,560 --> 01:12:48,619
- Hey, guys. Guys.
- This is not nice!
1278
01:12:48,795 --> 01:12:51,764
- All right, dipshits. Right here.
- Stop it, Derek.
1279
01:12:51,932 --> 01:12:57,131
- One, two, three...
- I don't want my picture taken now.
1280
01:13:03,176 --> 01:13:06,373
Good luck, and remember, I need you
out of this house by tomorrow.
1281
01:13:06,546 --> 01:13:08,707
No exceptions.
1282
01:13:17,357 --> 01:13:20,121
If there's anything you need,
anything that you boys need...
1283
01:13:20,293 --> 01:13:22,989
...you just give me a call. Okay?
It's all right.
1284
01:13:29,169 --> 01:13:32,866
Hey. Are you awake?
1285
01:13:33,206 --> 01:13:34,867
Yeah.
1286
01:13:37,377 --> 01:13:41,108
I can't believe we actually
have to move out of this house.
1287
01:13:41,748 --> 01:13:44,114
I know. I feel bad.
1288
01:13:44,384 --> 01:13:46,909
Hey, you know,
we don't have to whisper anymore.
1289
01:13:47,087 --> 01:13:48,452
Mom and Dad aren't here.
1290
01:13:48,622 --> 01:13:50,647
Yeah, but can we keep
doing it, though?
1291
01:13:50,824 --> 01:13:52,985
It helps me pretend that they are.
1292
01:13:53,159 --> 01:13:55,992
You must feel just terrible.
1293
01:13:56,730 --> 01:13:59,893
- I mean, I know I feel bad.
- Yeah.
1294
01:14:00,066 --> 01:14:02,398
But I can't imagine how you feel...
1295
01:14:02,569 --> 01:14:05,504
...after my dad looked
right at you and said...
1296
01:14:05,672 --> 01:14:08,140
...it's all your fault
that they broke up.
1297
01:14:08,308 --> 01:14:12,176
That's funny, because my mom said:
1298
01:14:12,345 --> 01:14:14,779
"If that curly-headed fuck Dale
wasn't here...
1299
01:14:14,948 --> 01:14:17,382
...everything would be perfect."
1300
01:14:18,184 --> 01:14:21,415
- You take that back.
- No way. It's your fault.
1301
01:14:21,821 --> 01:14:23,584
You know what your problem is?
1302
01:14:23,757 --> 01:14:26,521
You live in a fantasy land.
You refuse to get a job...
1303
01:14:26,693 --> 01:14:29,389
...and you don't know what it's like
to work for something.
1304
01:14:29,562 --> 01:14:33,157
You don't take responsibility for
your actions. This is all your fault!
1305
01:14:33,333 --> 01:14:36,393
Well, you're a mama's boy
who's too chicken to sing in public!
1306
01:14:38,505 --> 01:14:39,733
Yeah, that's right.
1307
01:14:39,906 --> 01:14:42,204
Run away, little boy,
because you know it's true.
1308
01:14:42,375 --> 01:14:43,933
Just avoid everything.
1309
01:14:45,312 --> 01:14:46,973
What are you doing?
1310
01:14:47,914 --> 01:14:50,747
- Dale broke up Mom and Dad
- Motherfucker!
1311
01:14:50,917 --> 01:14:54,717
Dale broke up Mom and Dad
Dale broke up Mom and Dad
1312
01:14:54,888 --> 01:14:56,753
- Dale broke up Mom and...
- Brennan!
1313
01:15:02,562 --> 01:15:05,725
Get up, Brennan,
I know you're faking. Get up!
1314
01:15:06,032 --> 01:15:07,693
Get up!
1315
01:15:13,940 --> 01:15:14,964
Brennan?
1316
01:15:15,141 --> 01:15:18,508
It's just like Cold Case Files.
It's just like Cold Case Files.
1317
01:15:18,678 --> 01:15:20,543
It's just like Cold Case Files.
1318
01:15:21,047 --> 01:15:23,208
People die every day.
1319
01:15:23,583 --> 01:15:27,713
Give him a proper burial
in an unmarked grave...
1320
01:15:31,791 --> 01:15:34,316
- Brennan! You're alive! Oh, my God.
- I know.
1321
01:15:34,494 --> 01:15:35,825
I'm alive.
1322
01:15:38,431 --> 01:15:42,094
- You were dead. I saw you die!
- I was faking.
1323
01:15:42,268 --> 01:15:44,736
I used ninja focus
to slow my heart rate down.
1324
01:15:45,772 --> 01:15:47,967
- What are you doing?
- I'm burying you.
1325
01:15:48,141 --> 01:15:51,599
- I'm alive. Brennan, I'm alive.
- You're waking the neighbors!
1326
01:15:51,778 --> 01:15:54,076
- Shut up!
- No. No.
1327
01:15:55,348 --> 01:15:58,146
- Now I'm gonna play your drum set.
- Help me.
1328
01:15:58,318 --> 01:16:01,116
Close your eyes.
Let the dirt just shower over you.
1329
01:16:02,222 --> 01:16:04,349
This is your fault.
1330
01:16:04,958 --> 01:16:09,452
Oh, I'm exhausted.
I'm gonna sleep good tonight.
1331
01:16:12,232 --> 01:16:14,757
- Don't you touch my drums!
- Zombie!
1332
01:16:15,235 --> 01:16:18,102
Zombie! Zombie!
1333
01:16:19,706 --> 01:16:20,934
Get off me, zombie.
1334
01:16:23,009 --> 01:16:24,101
Get off.
1335
01:16:36,556 --> 01:16:37,784
I'm late for school.
1336
01:16:37,957 --> 01:16:41,484
I will kiss you right on the mouth,
Kenny Rogers.
1337
01:16:42,462 --> 01:16:45,022
- Just get off me.
- Hey.
1338
01:16:48,468 --> 01:16:50,129
So I guess it's really over.
1339
01:16:50,303 --> 01:16:53,170
I'd say you trying to bury me alive
pretty much did it.
1340
01:16:53,339 --> 01:16:55,569
You know what I just realized?
1341
01:16:55,742 --> 01:16:57,903
You've been the one
dragging me down.
1342
01:16:58,078 --> 01:17:01,172
Now I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna
get a job and an apartment...
1343
01:17:01,347 --> 01:17:04,316
...and then I'm gonna get Mom
and Dr. Doback back together.
1344
01:17:04,484 --> 01:17:07,214
I'm gonna be the hero,
and you can suck on it.
1345
01:17:10,490 --> 01:17:13,357
My life was perfect
before you came here.
1346
01:17:13,526 --> 01:17:17,553
Me and my dad had a perfect setup,
and you wrecked it.
1347
01:17:21,101 --> 01:17:22,466
Hey.
1348
01:17:23,336 --> 01:17:25,531
We're no longer brothers.
1349
01:17:25,905 --> 01:17:29,705
We never were.
We were stepbrothers.
1350
01:17:42,622 --> 01:17:45,182
- That was one of your best.
- These balls fucking suck.
1351
01:17:46,192 --> 01:17:47,454
All right.
1352
01:17:48,094 --> 01:17:50,119
Well, well, well,
look who's here, boys.
1353
01:17:50,663 --> 01:17:53,257
Can you give me a job, please?
1354
01:17:54,367 --> 01:17:57,632
TJ, get an office pool going.
1355
01:17:58,004 --> 01:18:00,768
Give Ken-Doll Crotch here
two weeks, tops.
1356
01:18:01,441 --> 01:18:03,739
Dr. Angel Face,
I just wanted to say thank you...
1357
01:18:03,910 --> 01:18:07,607
...for meeting me
on such short notice.
1358
01:18:07,780 --> 01:18:10,112
- Don't call me Angel Face.
- I apologize.
1359
01:18:10,283 --> 01:18:14,947
I'm very alone right now, and the thing
I wanna ask you to help me...
1360
01:18:15,455 --> 01:18:18,219
To show me how I can be
a grown-up.
1361
01:18:18,391 --> 01:18:20,416
Do I carry my
high-school diploma around?
1362
01:18:20,593 --> 01:18:21,992
What do you do with your hair?
1363
01:18:22,162 --> 01:18:24,289
What happens if there's
inclement weather?
1364
01:18:24,464 --> 01:18:26,125
Where do you...?
What do you wear?
1365
01:18:26,299 --> 01:18:28,096
Can you wash clothes
in the dishwasher?
1366
01:18:28,268 --> 01:18:31,237
I notice that there's a long gap
in your job history...
1367
01:18:31,404 --> 01:18:35,204
...and it said for 22 years...
1368
01:18:35,375 --> 01:18:38,469
...you went Kerouac
on everyone's ass?
1369
01:18:38,645 --> 01:18:40,909
I'm gonna be honest with you.
I really need a job.
1370
01:18:41,080 --> 01:18:44,243
And I will take any position,
as long as it doesn't involve...
1371
01:18:44,417 --> 01:18:48,444
...having sex with old ladies
for money or bear traps.
1372
01:18:48,621 --> 01:18:51,181
- Those are my two bugaboos.
- All right, got it.
1373
01:18:51,357 --> 01:18:54,121
There's a catering business,
there's a temp job open.
1374
01:18:54,294 --> 01:18:56,762
And you get to play with fire.
1375
01:20:09,068 --> 01:20:11,400
What do you want?
This is my online-poker time.
1376
01:20:11,571 --> 01:20:13,869
I'm ready to take on
the Catalina Wine Mixer.
1377
01:20:14,040 --> 01:20:15,940
Slow down there, Speed Racer.
1378
01:20:16,109 --> 01:20:18,441
I know what it entails,
and I'm ready to nail it.
1379
01:20:18,611 --> 01:20:21,171
I want it, okay?
I want the Catalina Wine Mixer.
1380
01:20:21,347 --> 01:20:23,110
- Yo, yo.
- Hey, D-man.
1381
01:20:23,283 --> 01:20:24,978
- You tell him what's up?
- I sure did.
1382
01:20:25,151 --> 01:20:26,675
- Hey.
- Hey.
1383
01:20:26,853 --> 01:20:29,287
Your brother wants a shot
at the Catalina Wine Mixer.
1384
01:20:29,455 --> 01:20:30,615
I'm ready, walking tall.
1385
01:20:30,790 --> 01:20:32,519
You're ready to run with the bulls?
1386
01:20:32,692 --> 01:20:36,594
I've been earning and burning,
snapping necks and cashing checks.
1387
01:20:37,063 --> 01:20:39,691
Screw it, let's let him do it.
It's a win-win for me...
1388
01:20:39,866 --> 01:20:42,096
...because if you fuck up, Brennan...
- Yeah?
1389
01:20:42,268 --> 01:20:46,432
...I get to fire your ass. But if you pull
it off, I look like a genius to the board.
1390
01:20:47,407 --> 01:20:48,772
- Okay?
- I get it.
1391
01:20:48,941 --> 01:20:50,238
Brennan, here's the thing.
1392
01:20:50,410 --> 01:20:53,243
It's the Catalina fucking
Wine Mixer, okay?
1393
01:20:53,513 --> 01:20:55,572
Are you saying "pow"?
What are you saying?
1394
01:20:56,049 --> 01:20:59,507
It's the biggest helicopter-leasing
event in the Western Hemisphere...
1395
01:20:59,686 --> 01:21:01,711
...since 1997.
1396
01:21:02,221 --> 01:21:04,849
- Why does he keep doing that?
- I have to sell or lease...
1397
01:21:05,024 --> 01:21:07,117
...at least 80 choppers
to make my nut.
1398
01:21:07,293 --> 01:21:11,957
And you mess with my nut, Brennan,
Randy here is gonna eat your dick.
1399
01:21:12,131 --> 01:21:14,622
Like Kobayashi.
1400
01:21:16,269 --> 01:21:17,497
I've seen him do it.
1401
01:21:17,670 --> 01:21:19,137
You've seen him eat a penis?
1402
01:21:19,305 --> 01:21:22,172
It was in international waters,
so they couldn't prosecute him.
1403
01:21:22,342 --> 01:21:24,833
I tell you now, I'll nail it.
I'll pull it off, okay?
1404
01:21:25,011 --> 01:21:27,002
Wait a second,
why do you want this so bad?
1405
01:21:27,180 --> 01:21:29,671
Trying to get Mom and Dad
back together or something?
1406
01:21:29,849 --> 01:21:31,077
- Why do I want this?
- Yeah.
1407
01:21:31,250 --> 01:21:36,119
Because I wanna make bank, bro.
I wanna get ass.
1408
01:21:36,289 --> 01:21:38,018
And I wanna drive a Range Rover.
1409
01:21:38,191 --> 01:21:39,681
Okay, well, you better, Brennan.
1410
01:21:39,859 --> 01:21:41,952
This is the fucking
Catalina Wine Mixer.
1411
01:22:00,580 --> 01:22:02,343
Nancy. Hi.
1412
01:22:02,515 --> 01:22:06,007
Hi. What are you doing here?
1413
01:22:06,185 --> 01:22:08,119
Well, Dale's working the function.
1414
01:22:08,287 --> 01:22:11,154
Guys, this is supposed to be jicama,
not bok choy.
1415
01:22:11,324 --> 01:22:12,348
Sorry, folks.
1416
01:22:13,760 --> 01:22:16,126
And I got an invitation from Brennan.
1417
01:22:16,295 --> 01:22:19,423
Can you believe
Brennan put all this together?
1418
01:22:22,135 --> 01:22:24,729
And now here we all are in Catalina.
1419
01:22:24,904 --> 01:22:28,567
- It's funny, huh?
- Yeah, it's funny.
1420
01:22:28,741 --> 01:22:31,073
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Hey.
1421
01:22:32,278 --> 01:22:34,371
Not bad. You're nailing it.
1422
01:22:34,547 --> 01:22:36,777
- Thanks, Randy. That means a lot.
- Yeah.
1423
01:22:36,949 --> 01:22:38,143
I don't know what it is...
1424
01:22:38,317 --> 01:22:41,150
...but I wanna deliver one of these
right in your suck hole.
1425
01:22:41,320 --> 01:22:44,414
- Is there anything I can do?
- No. Not really. It's your face.
1426
01:22:44,590 --> 01:22:47,150
Again, you're doing great, man.
The Catalina Wine Mixer.
1427
01:22:47,326 --> 01:22:49,226
We're all having a great time,
having fun.
1428
01:22:49,395 --> 01:22:51,920
You pulled it off.
But if you don't change your face...
1429
01:22:52,098 --> 01:22:54,225
...l'm gonna change it for you.
- Okay. Okay.
1430
01:22:54,400 --> 01:22:56,527
All I can do is take that in,
consider it...
1431
01:22:56,702 --> 01:22:59,967
...and I'll just do my best version
of whatever I think that would be.
1432
01:23:00,139 --> 01:23:02,903
I don't even hear you,
your face is driving me nuts.
1433
01:23:03,075 --> 01:23:05,134
- Thanks again, though.
- Oh, tits. Hold on.
1434
01:23:05,578 --> 01:23:08,945
- Hey. Hello, Catalina Wine Mixer.
- Hi.
1435
01:23:09,215 --> 01:23:11,649
How are you? We are Uptown Girl.
1436
01:23:11,818 --> 01:23:15,618
We are California's preeminent
1980s Billy Joel cover band.
1437
01:23:15,788 --> 01:23:17,551
"Piano Man"!
1438
01:23:17,723 --> 01:23:19,657
What did I just say, man?
1439
01:23:19,826 --> 01:23:21,589
All right, we don't play that...
1440
01:23:21,761 --> 01:23:24,286
...so let's keep it in the '80s
and let's keep it fun.
1441
01:23:24,464 --> 01:23:25,590
You having a good time?
1442
01:23:25,765 --> 01:23:28,165
I hope you are,
because sometimes life can be tough.
1443
01:23:29,869 --> 01:23:33,361
And I know that sometimes
it's hard to "Keeping the Faith."
1444
01:23:43,816 --> 01:23:45,716
You guys seem to be hitting it off.
1445
01:23:45,885 --> 01:23:47,182
Oh, honey.
1446
01:23:47,353 --> 01:23:49,253
Oh, my God,
this is the greatest party.
1447
01:23:49,422 --> 01:23:50,616
- Hello, Robert.
- Way to go.
1448
01:23:50,790 --> 01:23:53,350
- Brennan, this is fantastic.
- Way to go.
1449
01:23:53,526 --> 01:23:55,255
So impressed.
1450
01:23:55,428 --> 01:23:57,453
- Hi, Dad. Hi, Nancy.
- Hi, Dale.
1451
01:23:57,630 --> 01:23:59,359
- Hey, Brennan.
- It's good to see you.
1452
01:23:59,565 --> 01:24:01,658
Thanks for hiring
our catering company.
1453
01:24:01,834 --> 01:24:04,735
Easy decision. You guys have
a outstanding track record.
1454
01:24:05,371 --> 01:24:08,067
- Just like old times, huh?
- Right, it really is.
1455
01:24:08,241 --> 01:24:10,106
You still have your
night-vision goggles?
1456
01:24:10,276 --> 01:24:14,178
No, no. No, I had to sell those
to pay for car insurance.
1457
01:24:14,747 --> 01:24:16,715
How about you?
You still breaking boards...
1458
01:24:16,883 --> 01:24:18,874
...or kicking holes in pumpkins
or anything?
1459
01:24:19,051 --> 01:24:20,609
No.
1460
01:24:21,287 --> 01:24:24,552
But I did start taking baby aspirin
to reduce my risk for heart attack.
1461
01:24:24,724 --> 01:24:27,522
That makes sense.
Gotta keep an eye on it, you know.
1462
01:24:27,693 --> 01:24:30,719
- Knock off the sweets.
- Thank you.
1463
01:24:34,967 --> 01:24:38,061
It's a truly funny observation.
1464
01:24:38,237 --> 01:24:39,431
Yeah.
1465
01:24:39,605 --> 01:24:42,096
Dale, the empanadas
are starting to sweat.
1466
01:24:42,275 --> 01:24:44,436
Okay. I better run.
1467
01:24:44,610 --> 01:24:46,475
- It's good to see you, Brennan.
- You too.
1468
01:24:46,646 --> 01:24:49,774
- Take care, be well. Take care, Dad.
- Okay, buddy.
1469
01:24:49,949 --> 01:24:52,349
- It's great to talk to him.
- Yeah.
1470
01:24:53,052 --> 01:24:54,212
I gotta go too.
1471
01:24:54,387 --> 01:24:57,550
We should do this again.
I think it was very constructive.
1472
01:25:01,794 --> 01:25:04,126
- Maybe grab a bite to eat?
- Sure.
1473
01:25:04,297 --> 01:25:06,060
- Go to Outback Steakhouse.
- Okay.
1474
01:25:06,232 --> 01:25:07,927
I've grown very fond of that place.
1475
01:25:09,335 --> 01:25:11,235
Thank you for coming.
1476
01:25:11,404 --> 01:25:13,167
Great to see you.
1477
01:25:14,607 --> 01:25:17,075
It was very nice to see you, Robert.
1478
01:25:17,577 --> 01:25:23,038
I think Brennan organized this
whole thing to get us back together.
1479
01:25:24,951 --> 01:25:29,650
You have to excuse me.
I think that I just might cry.
1480
01:25:29,822 --> 01:25:33,383
It's the funniest thing. Bye-bye.
1481
01:25:37,363 --> 01:25:39,763
"Start the Fire," buddy!
1482
01:25:40,333 --> 01:25:43,530
Come on, man. Play something
from The Stranger!
1483
01:25:43,769 --> 01:25:46,533
We strictly do '80s Joel music, sir.
1484
01:25:49,809 --> 01:25:51,777
'80s Billy Joel doo-wop sucks!
1485
01:25:51,944 --> 01:25:54,504
Hey, listen, motherfucker,
we only sing '80s Joel!
1486
01:25:54,680 --> 01:25:57,478
So take your skank hooker wife
and get the fuck out of here!
1487
01:25:59,418 --> 01:26:00,442
Shit.
1488
01:26:00,620 --> 01:26:02,679
- What's wrong?
- All right. "What's wrong?"
1489
01:26:02,855 --> 01:26:05,050
Get him out of here.
Get his ass out of here!
1490
01:26:05,324 --> 01:26:06,518
Hey.
1491
01:26:06,692 --> 01:26:10,321
Hey, great job, fuck face. You just
busted my nut. This party's shot.
1492
01:26:10,496 --> 01:26:13,021
Just relax. I didn't realize
he would say these things.
1493
01:26:13,199 --> 01:26:14,962
You know what?
You cost me money.
1494
01:26:15,134 --> 01:26:17,625
So this isn't even
a judgment call, man.
1495
01:26:17,803 --> 01:26:20,704
- You're Audi 5000, my friend.
- Derek, can't we talk about this?
1496
01:26:20,873 --> 01:26:22,033
No.
1497
01:26:22,208 --> 01:26:23,971
- Hey.
- Shit.
1498
01:26:24,143 --> 01:26:26,976
- Is everything okay?
- No. He just fired me.
1499
01:26:27,146 --> 01:26:28,408
What happened to the music?
1500
01:26:28,581 --> 01:26:31,345
The band left. The guy freaked out.
1501
01:26:31,517 --> 01:26:32,677
Derek fired me.
1502
01:26:32,852 --> 01:26:35,116
- It's no big deal.
- Robert, you don't get it.
1503
01:26:35,287 --> 01:26:36,845
It's the Catalina Wine Mixer!
1504
01:26:37,023 --> 01:26:39,253
People have killed
to be in the position I'm in.
1505
01:26:39,425 --> 01:26:41,689
- He's right. It's a big deal.
- Here's a thought:
1506
01:26:42,194 --> 01:26:44,424
I see an empty stage.
1507
01:26:44,597 --> 01:26:47,327
I see drums, I see a drummer.
1508
01:26:47,500 --> 01:26:49,900
I see a microphone,
and I see a singer.
1509
01:26:50,069 --> 01:26:51,502
- Dad, come on.
- What?
1510
01:26:51,671 --> 01:26:53,605
- We gave that stuff up.
- We don't do that.
1511
01:26:53,773 --> 01:26:56,241
Listen to me.
Dale, look, when I was a kid...
1512
01:26:56,409 --> 01:26:59,503
...when I was a little boy,
I always wanted to be a dinosaur.
1513
01:26:59,679 --> 01:27:02,443
I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus rex
more than anything.
1514
01:27:02,615 --> 01:27:05,584
I made my arms short
and I roamed the backyard...
1515
01:27:05,751 --> 01:27:09,346
...and I chased the neighborhood cats,
and I growled and I roared.
1516
01:27:09,522 --> 01:27:11,387
Everybody knew me
and was afraid of me.
1517
01:27:11,557 --> 01:27:13,024
And then one day, my dad said:
1518
01:27:13,192 --> 01:27:17,094
"Bobby, you're 17. It's time
to throw childish things aside."
1519
01:27:17,263 --> 01:27:18,321
And I said, "Okay, Pop."
1520
01:27:18,497 --> 01:27:22,456
But he didn't really say that, he said,
"Stop being a dinosaur and get a job."
1521
01:27:22,635 --> 01:27:26,002
But, you know, I thought to myself,
"I'll go to medical school...
1522
01:27:26,172 --> 01:27:29,403
...l'll practice for a little while,
and then I'll come back to it."
1523
01:27:29,608 --> 01:27:31,473
- Dad...
- How is that a skill?
1524
01:27:31,644 --> 01:27:33,202
But I forgot how to do it.
1525
01:27:33,379 --> 01:27:34,607
You're human.
1526
01:27:34,780 --> 01:27:36,975
- You could never be a dinosaur.
- Yeah.
1527
01:27:38,484 --> 01:27:40,714
Hey, I lost it.
1528
01:27:40,886 --> 01:27:42,877
- Dad, what's the point?
- Yeah.
1529
01:27:43,055 --> 01:27:45,853
The point is
don't lose your dinosaur.
1530
01:27:46,325 --> 01:27:49,158
Yeah. You know, I hated
the way you guys were before.
1531
01:27:49,328 --> 01:27:50,556
I mean, I hated you.
1532
01:27:50,730 --> 01:27:55,497
But it just kills me to see you
so crushed and normal.
1533
01:27:55,668 --> 01:27:57,499
Listen to me, don't listen to me...
1534
01:27:57,670 --> 01:28:00,901
...Prestige Worldwide,
that's what you gotta do.
1535
01:28:01,073 --> 01:28:03,507
- You're saying we should go for it.
- That's what I'm saying.
1536
01:28:05,111 --> 01:28:06,772
What do you think, Brennan?
1537
01:28:06,946 --> 01:28:09,380
I'm so scared right now.
I'm gonna do what's sensible:
1538
01:28:09,548 --> 01:28:11,140
I'm gonna file for unemployment...
1539
01:28:11,317 --> 01:28:14,115
...and I'm gonna try to get a job
at Enterprise Rent-A-Car.
1540
01:28:14,286 --> 01:28:17,084
Because they got
a excellent corporate structure...
1541
01:28:17,256 --> 01:28:20,248
...and they give you the tools
to be your own boss.
1542
01:28:20,426 --> 01:28:22,326
My dad's right.
1543
01:28:22,495 --> 01:28:24,019
This isn't me.
1544
01:28:24,196 --> 01:28:27,359
I'm fucking miserable.
I had to get up at 10:00 this morning.
1545
01:28:27,533 --> 01:28:31,367
And even though
I just got a tidal wave of nerves...
1546
01:28:31,537 --> 01:28:33,232
...l'm going up on that stage...
1547
01:28:33,405 --> 01:28:35,930
...and I'm gonna make beautiful music
for a sad world.
1548
01:28:36,108 --> 01:28:38,440
- Dale...
- That's the boy I know.
1549
01:28:38,611 --> 01:28:40,704
This crowd's gonna eat him alive.
1550
01:28:43,015 --> 01:28:44,482
Wait, what's he doing up there?
1551
01:28:44,650 --> 01:28:47,016
Somebody get him
off the fucking stage!
1552
01:28:47,186 --> 01:28:49,279
Hi. How you doing?
1553
01:28:49,455 --> 01:28:52,822
My name's Dale Doback,
and I hope you like to kick it.
1554
01:28:52,992 --> 01:28:54,721
Oh, go get them, Dale!
1555
01:28:56,195 --> 01:28:57,219
Boats and ho's
1556
01:28:57,396 --> 01:28:59,261
Get off the stage, you dick!
1557
01:28:59,632 --> 01:29:01,190
Stop yelling at him.
1558
01:29:03,235 --> 01:29:04,930
- Terrible!
- Terrible.
1559
01:29:05,104 --> 01:29:06,503
He's a human being.
1560
01:29:06,672 --> 01:29:11,006
Dale has a mangina
Dale has a mangina
1561
01:29:11,177 --> 01:29:12,269
No.
1562
01:29:12,444 --> 01:29:14,571
Gotta have me my boats and ho's
1563
01:29:14,747 --> 01:29:17,113
He's up there alone, Brennan.
He's up there alone.
1564
01:29:18,450 --> 01:29:21,647
Gotta have me my boats and ho's
1565
01:29:21,821 --> 01:29:23,652
- You suck!
- What are you doing, Brennan?
1566
01:29:23,823 --> 01:29:24,915
Gotta have me my...
1567
01:29:25,090 --> 01:29:27,354
Brennan, no!
1568
01:29:28,360 --> 01:29:29,987
- What did you do?
- Oh, Jesus, Nancy.
1569
01:29:30,162 --> 01:29:32,596
I couldn't stand to see him like that.
I miss my son.
1570
01:29:32,865 --> 01:29:37,268
All right. Let me go for a few bars.
Come in soft, but then finish strong.
1571
01:29:37,436 --> 01:29:39,404
- Okay. Hey, Brennan?
- Yeah.
1572
01:29:39,572 --> 01:29:42,632
- Thanks for coming up.
- You got it, Dragon.
1573
01:29:43,075 --> 01:29:44,633
We got a little change coming up.
1574
01:29:45,044 --> 01:29:47,205
It's my main man Brennan.
1575
01:30:43,602 --> 01:30:44,933
Boats and ho's
1576
01:31:03,389 --> 01:31:04,947
Boats and ho's
1577
01:31:52,471 --> 01:31:55,565
- You did it, Derek.
- I made a kite fly.
1578
01:31:55,741 --> 01:31:59,233
Brennan, you're the best
big brother ever!
1579
01:32:07,886 --> 01:32:11,583
- floor mats. The ones that match
the seats, and I kind of wanted...
1580
01:32:11,757 --> 01:32:14,225
I traveled 500 miles
to give you my seed.
1581
01:32:14,560 --> 01:32:16,585
Lumberjack!
1582
01:32:57,036 --> 01:32:59,231
Rock the fuck
out of those drums, Dale!
1583
01:32:59,405 --> 01:33:00,667
I'm sorry.
1584
01:33:41,980 --> 01:33:44,744
- We're Prestige Worldwide!
- Prestige Worldwide!
1585
01:33:44,917 --> 01:33:48,910
- Fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.
- It's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.
1586
01:33:49,088 --> 01:33:51,989
It's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.
1587
01:33:52,324 --> 01:33:53,689
Brennan, that was sublime.
1588
01:33:53,859 --> 01:33:56,157
Amazing.
We are so proud of you both.
1589
01:33:56,328 --> 01:33:57,852
- Thank you.
- Incredible.
1590
01:33:58,030 --> 01:33:59,190
- Thank you so much.
- Hey.
1591
01:33:59,364 --> 01:34:03,266
So I made my quota.
Yeah, we sold a shit-ton of copters.
1592
01:34:03,435 --> 01:34:05,528
- That's so good.
- Yeah.
1593
01:34:05,704 --> 01:34:09,162
Look, I'm not great at
this Hallmark stuff...
1594
01:34:09,341 --> 01:34:11,673
...but, Brennan,
when I look at you now...
1595
01:34:11,844 --> 01:34:14,244
...I don't wanna kick you
in the head quite as much.
1596
01:34:15,747 --> 01:34:17,044
Thanks, man.
1597
01:34:17,216 --> 01:34:18,740
- That was beautiful.
- That was nice.
1598
01:34:18,917 --> 01:34:20,282
Yeah.
1599
01:34:21,153 --> 01:34:23,485
- What do we do now?
- We could hug.
1600
01:34:23,655 --> 01:34:25,714
Yeah, you'd like that, faggot.
Sorry. I'm...
1601
01:34:28,527 --> 01:34:30,051
Okay.
1602
01:34:42,708 --> 01:34:44,642
- It's okay.
- Okay.
1603
01:34:58,490 --> 01:35:01,482
- That's what we've been looking for.
- That's the ticket.
1604
01:35:01,894 --> 01:35:03,191
It's fantastic.
1605
01:35:03,362 --> 01:35:06,820
We've never done anything like that,
so you can't expect it to be perfect.
1606
01:35:06,999 --> 01:35:08,023
It was good.
1607
01:35:08,200 --> 01:35:09,929
- Felt good.
- Gotten close to a hug.
1608
01:35:10,102 --> 01:35:14,300
- Hello, Brennan. Hi.
- Denise. Hey.
1609
01:35:14,473 --> 01:35:17,237
Robert, Mom, Derek,
this is my girlfriend, Denise.
1610
01:35:17,409 --> 01:35:20,503
- Hi. How are you?
- Actually, I'm his therapist.
1611
01:35:20,679 --> 01:35:23,705
- We are in absolutely no way dating.
- Right.
1612
01:35:23,882 --> 01:35:27,682
Brennan told me he was going to
hurl his body off a helicopter...
1613
01:35:27,853 --> 01:35:30,048
...into shark-infested waters...
1614
01:35:30,222 --> 01:35:32,622
...so I had a legal obligation
to be here.
1615
01:35:32,791 --> 01:35:33,951
I get it.
1616
01:35:34,126 --> 01:35:38,085
Don't wanna appear too eager,
and that is a good strategy too.
1617
01:35:38,263 --> 01:35:40,390
You are an enabler.
You think you're helping...
1618
01:35:40,566 --> 01:35:42,295
...but you're not.
- And you are a keeper.
1619
01:35:42,467 --> 01:35:44,264
What'd you think?
1620
01:35:45,204 --> 01:35:49,573
Brennan, I thought
you were incredibly brave.
1621
01:35:49,741 --> 01:35:50,765
And I mean that...
1622
01:35:50,943 --> 01:35:54,242
...in strictly the most clinical
and professional sense possible...
1623
01:35:54,413 --> 01:35:57,849
...with no emotional,
intimate, sexual...
1624
01:35:58,016 --> 01:36:00,644
...or any other undertones
that you could possibly infer.
1625
01:36:00,852 --> 01:36:03,582
God, you're gonna make me cry.
1626
01:36:04,156 --> 01:36:07,717
What poem is that from?
Is that James Joyce?
1627
01:36:07,926 --> 01:36:09,587
Alice...
1628
01:36:10,495 --> 01:36:12,554
...I like making sex with you.
- Yeah.
1629
01:36:12,731 --> 01:36:16,497
I do. But you're also married.
1630
01:36:16,902 --> 01:36:18,597
It's over.
1631
01:36:19,605 --> 01:36:20,970
This is crazy. I'm a mother.
1632
01:36:21,139 --> 01:36:23,835
I have two children,
I have a husband, a beautiful home.
1633
01:36:24,009 --> 01:36:27,137
- I can't be fucking around with you.
- It was fun. It was fun, right?
1634
01:36:27,312 --> 01:36:30,577
- It was fun while it lasted.
- I'm glad. All right, well, good luck.
1635
01:36:32,818 --> 01:36:36,652
- No.
- Oh, my God, Dale!
1636
01:36:36,822 --> 01:36:39,814
- Please don't leave me.
- Oh, my God. Look at that whale.
1637
01:36:39,992 --> 01:36:41,516
Where?
1638
01:36:44,663 --> 01:36:46,062
Dale!
1639
01:36:52,037 --> 01:36:53,231
So I was with Seal...
1640
01:36:53,405 --> 01:36:56,863
...and we were just taking a chopper
up to Everest base camp...
1641
01:36:57,042 --> 01:36:59,203
...and the plot to my Sherpa...
- Derek. Derek.
1642
01:36:59,911 --> 01:37:02,209
- Sorry. Okay.
- Remember, we talked about this.
1643
01:37:02,714 --> 01:37:05,308
Dale, Brennan.
Tell me about the karaoke business.
1644
01:37:05,651 --> 01:37:08,484
Really great, Dad.
Yeah. We call it Karaoke 'n' Roll.
1645
01:37:09,187 --> 01:37:12,213
We got six bars, three restaurants,
and two more wanna sign up.
1646
01:37:12,391 --> 01:37:14,382
- So it's booming.
- Fantastic.
1647
01:37:14,559 --> 01:37:16,288
Most karaoke it's,
"Open to everyone.
1648
01:37:16,461 --> 01:37:18,691
- Hey, just get up and have fun."
- Not you guys.
1649
01:37:18,864 --> 01:37:21,196
If you can't sing, just sit down.
That's our motto.
1650
01:37:21,366 --> 01:37:23,994
- It's the big leagues.
- You guys are doing so great.
1651
01:37:24,169 --> 01:37:28,196
Guys, I have a little Christmas
surprise for Dale and Brennan.
1652
01:37:29,207 --> 01:37:30,731
- You wanna see it?
- Yes!
1653
01:37:30,909 --> 01:37:33,309
- You bet!
- Let's go look at it! Come on.
1654
01:37:33,478 --> 01:37:35,070
- Don't peek.
- I smell cookies.
1655
01:37:35,247 --> 01:37:37,112
Be patient. No, no. No, no.
1656
01:37:38,483 --> 01:37:41,316
- Just a pi�ata, isn't it?
- Be patient. Be patient.
1657
01:37:41,486 --> 01:37:43,386
- Be patient.
- Did you get me a tiger, Dad?
1658
01:37:43,555 --> 01:37:44,613
Okay, open your eyes.
1659
01:37:45,023 --> 01:37:46,047
Merry Christmas.
1660
01:37:46,224 --> 01:37:47,885
Holy shit!
1661
01:37:48,327 --> 01:37:51,558
Dad, I can't believe
you put the boat in the tree!
1662
01:37:51,730 --> 01:37:52,856
This is amazing!
1663
01:37:54,032 --> 01:37:57,331
- It's The Gilded Lady. She lives!
- I can't believe it.
1664
01:37:57,502 --> 01:38:01,632
- How'd you get it up here?
- Oh, Robert, it's so great.
1665
01:38:02,140 --> 01:38:04,005
- Pirate hats!
- Pirate hats!
1666
01:38:07,479 --> 01:38:09,106
- Hustlers!
- Hustlers!
1667
01:38:09,381 --> 01:38:11,474
Dad, that was so thoughtful!
1668
01:38:13,618 --> 01:38:16,314
- Crossbows!
- Crossbows!
1669
01:38:16,488 --> 01:38:19,423
You guys finally came to your senses
and got us something cool.
1670
01:38:19,791 --> 01:38:22,055
You both know this is
completely fucked up, right?
1671
01:38:22,227 --> 01:38:23,694
- Yeah.
- Of course.
1672
01:38:23,995 --> 01:38:27,829
But Brennan sure can wear the shit
out of that pirate hat.
1673
01:38:27,999 --> 01:38:30,866
- Chewbacca masks!
- Chewbacca masks!
1674
01:38:34,506 --> 01:38:37,600
It's okay that mine's
not movie-quality.
1675
01:39:03,668 --> 01:39:07,104
But he's like, "No, because you drove
my car last week, so I can't get it."
1676
01:39:07,272 --> 01:39:11,231
So I'm like "You're gonna buy it for me
or I'm gonna sock you in the mouth."
1677
01:39:19,484 --> 01:39:21,714
Oh, shit.
1678
01:39:27,559 --> 01:39:31,188
Well, if it isn't Dale Doback
and his little butt buddy.
1679
01:39:31,363 --> 01:39:33,388
Sticks and stones
may break my bones...
1680
01:39:33,565 --> 01:39:37,057
...but I'm gonna kick you repeatedly
in the balls, Gardocki!
1681
01:39:37,235 --> 01:39:39,635
Let's get them!
1682
01:40:26,084 --> 01:40:28,814
- Where do you think you're going?
- Home.
1683
01:40:28,987 --> 01:40:32,047
- We got something to show you.
- Come on.
1684
01:40:32,757 --> 01:40:35,885
- You see that white dog crap?
- Do you see it?!
1685
01:40:36,161 --> 01:40:38,425
- Yeah.
- Not too fun down there, is it?
1686
01:40:38,597 --> 01:40:39,825
- No.
- You see?
1687
01:40:39,998 --> 01:40:41,761
Your actions have consequences!
1688
01:40:41,933 --> 01:40:46,802
When you oppress people,
they rise up in a fiery anger!
1689
01:40:47,339 --> 01:40:48,567
Go home.
1690
01:40:50,275 --> 01:40:53,574
We're not like you.
We're grown-ups, motherfucker!
1691
01:40:53,745 --> 01:40:57,738
Say hi to your dad.
We went to high school together.
1692
01:41:03,655 --> 01:41:06,021
The cops'll be here soon.
1693
01:41:06,892 --> 01:41:09,417
I guess this is what it feels like
to be grown up.
1694
01:41:09,594 --> 01:41:11,084
Hey.
1695
01:41:11,596 --> 01:41:13,359
Can I ask you something?
1696
01:41:13,532 --> 01:41:14,999
Yeah, of course.
1697
01:41:15,166 --> 01:41:16,895
You know back when
you first moved in?
1698
01:41:17,068 --> 01:41:18,092
Yeah.
1699
01:41:18,270 --> 01:41:20,864
- Did you touch my drum set?
- No, I didn't.
1700
01:41:21,039 --> 01:41:23,166
No, really, I won't get mad.
I just wanna know.
1701
01:41:23,341 --> 01:41:25,241
No, I know.
You said you wouldn't get mad.
1702
01:41:25,410 --> 01:41:28,106
I'm saying I didn't do it.
I didn't do it, I never did it.
1703
01:41:28,280 --> 01:41:30,111
- Then I owe you an apology.
- No.
1704
01:41:30,282 --> 01:41:31,407
No, you don't, at all.
No.
1705
01:41:32,083 --> 01:41:34,551
Why wouldn't you take an apology
if you didn't do it?
1706
01:41:34,719 --> 01:41:37,552
Just because I'm cool.
It doesn't matter.
1707
01:45:18,243 --> 01:45:19,676
You got my passport.
1708
01:45:20,812 --> 01:45:21,836
I'm good.
1709
01:45:25,650 --> 01:45:28,619
Don't worry, not gonna be late.
Don't worry.
1710
01:46:28,620 --> 01:46:29,621
Subtitles by LeapinLar
137155
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Esperanto
Estonian
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Icelandic
Irish
Kazakh
Khmer
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Pashto
Samoan
Sesotho
Shona
Slovak
Somali
Swahili
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
