Original subtitles

Hello, I'm Princess Di and I'd like to buy a flat.

What type of flat do you want?

I'd like a flat that is close to my work,

because I work in a playground slide shop.

Take a look, I think we have one.

Do you like the kitchen?

Wow! I love the kitchen.

It's awesome.

Now the couch and the living room.

Hey! The couch is gorgeous, I love it.

Look, the double bed is upstairs.

And a bunk bed here, right?

Yes. Do you like it?

Yes, my husband and me plan to have two children

who'll be called Federico and Carolina.

I'll take it. I'm going to buy the flat.

Who will pay for it?

My husband and me will pay for it.

With a mortgage.

Really?

Yes.

The interest rate is 2.5% over twelve months

starting from the date of the last payment.

Then the Euribor rate will be variable, increasing by 0.5.

Final payment: 24 August, 2043.

Perfect.

That wasn't so bad, was it?

Now we all know exactly what we're signing.

Ms. Aguado.

Oh, a black biro.

Do you have another colour?

- It's fine, you can sign in black. - Yes, I know that.

But it doesn't stand out, I'd rather a different colour from the text.

Isn't there one here?

I have one.

- It's green. - Okay. Great.

Thanks.

- I sign each page, right? - Yes.

When is the wedding?

Soon.

21 May.

Done.

- Your turn. - My turn.

Are you all right?

Want another biro?

Why couldn't you sign with the biro the notary gave you?

It's the same colour as the printed word.

You always do the same thing.

In a restaurant we have to change tables three times

because you don't like the lighting.

In a hotel you ask for a room exactly the same as on the website.

You're never satisfied with anything.

- Is this because of the enema? - No!

- No, please don't bring it up. - But that's why.

- It isn't. - Excuse me...

We'll give you some time alone so you can discuss it.

- But we're coming back? - Yes.

This has nothing to do with the enema, okay?

Yes it does.

- No. - Yes.

- I said no! - It is, it's fine.

We haven't had sex since, that was three months ago.

You made me give you one like a nurse.

I said I wouldn't do it without one.

Maybe we could be a bit more spontaneous and do it without one.

- Then clean poo off the sheet? - Yes, I'd rather that!

Stop shouting!

You're just so inflexible.

The world's most inflexible person. And I can't take it anymore.

María.

María.

You can come in.

All right?

- Sorted it out? - We have a question.

If you guys were about to have anal sex...

- No. - What would you prefer?

That your partner had an enema,

or got carried away by passion and cleaned poo off the sheet later?

No need to answer.

It's fine.

I need to know if you're going to sign or not.

I'm sorry, María.

I can't sign a 30-year mortgage with you. I just can't.

It isn't for 30 years.

It's for 25.

They just read it to us.

I have to get out of here. I have to go.

Really?

Sorry.

Sorry.

We can't get the down payment back, can we?

May I have the biro back, please?

PERFECT LIFE

Thank you.

WHEN YOU DON'T LET YOURSELF GO

Listen, I didn't take the pill last night.

- Do I take it twice? - Absolutely not.

Are you sure? I won't get pregnant?

- Honey. - Where are you?

Just leaving the meeting now.

- Hurry, today's the day. - I'll be there in 20, okay?

Ciao, ciao.

I love you!

I love you!

I love you! I love you!

Give me a hug!

Give me a hug!

Shit. Sorry, man.

- Did I wake you up? - No, no.

- You sure? - It's fine.

- How are you? - Good.

- What time is it? - Ten.

Fancy grabbing some breakfast together?

Didn't you have to get up early to paint?

Yeah, I've finished.

I wanted to take a little break before going to work, you know?

And what do you do?

- I work in a museum. - Really?

Yeah.

- What about you? - I work in a shop.

Hiya!

Welcome to the "ladies with mortgages club."

We'll celebrate this afternoon at Paula's birthday. We'll drink a toast

to your new flat!

Gustavo has left me.

The bouncy castle people are coming at four. Can you let them in?

Yes, your husband told me.

Hello?

- Thanks so much. - No trouble.

Sweetie, I'm so happy for you.

Love you, okay? Gotta meeting now.

See you at the party. I love you!

Love you too.

Hi, honey. Where are you?

In the kitchen.

- How are you? - Fine.

We have to rush. How was the meeting?

Great. What about you?

- Good. - Yeah?

Yes, very good.

We need to make it quick.

- I have 15 minutes. - I have five.

- I have to go to work. - Okay.

Hang on.

- We can call him Rafa. - What?

We can call the baby Rafa.

After Rafa Nadal.

His school pals will be able to say, "Come on, Rafa".

But first, you have to get me pregnant, right?

Okay.

- I'm coming! I'm coming! - Honey!

We've made Rafa with this one, huh?

They shot out like a smash hit.

You're the best. Love you.

Bye.

Come on, come on.

Picasso.

Look how incredibly realistic the wrinkle is on the throat.

First time I saw it I said, "Crap, it's my granddad."

We've placed Dalí next to Velázquez,

because maybe you don't know this, but Dalí was a big fan of Velázquez.

What a pity they're made of wax and can't talk and stuff.

Come here, Sebas.

I'd like to introduce Sebas.

He's one of the wax museum artists.

You'll be amazed when you hear how he made Justin Bieber's fringe.

What? No... What?

Home owner! Home owner!

What are you doing here?

Gustavo has left me.

What?

Gustavo left me.

Jesus!

Let's see...

- Look, yellow! Here, Gari! - Thanks.

Here.

This will look perfect.

How's it going, Genaro?

Are the rugrats behaving?

I'm gonna hire them.

They can help me in the porter's lodge.

- Need a hand? - Yes, thanks.

- Know what I'm going to bring now? - What?

- More light bulbs! - Cool!

What's up, Martina?

What's wrong?

Great!

Oh, Mummy's phone is ringing. Let's see...

What's up, Javier? How are you fixed?

My cake! My cake!

Hang on just a second, Javier.

Gari.

Could you pay the cake guy?

It was 25 and a bit. Make it 27.

- 27. - He has to give you back 23.

- 27. 23. - That's it.

- Okay. - Great. Thanks.

Hiya!

I'm listening, Javier.

The cake, Mummy!

You have to charge 27.

Hang on. Let's see if I have change.

Look.

Twenty in notes, and the coins...

I'll take that... 23.

It's 23 euros.

Yeah. Just a second, okay?

Twen.. twen...

Okay, it's fine.

- Okay, bye. - The cake.

- There you go. - Okay. Bye.

Crap, I don't think I have clean towels.

Well, I'll do a wash later.

Whatever.

If you're hungry, there's food in the fridge.

And cheer up, huh?

You did the right thing coming here.

Gustavo is a jerk.

Do you think I'm a strict person?

What?

Am I a strict person?

Gustavo says I am.

No.

Not strict.

So what am I like?

Fussy.

Fussy, how?

You're a bit finicky.

It's not the same thing.

Don't beat yourself up. You are who you are, end of story.

And what am I like?

I want to know. Really, tell me. You're my sister, it's fine.

Can you hand me that box with poodles on it?

Thanks.

Go ahead, tell me.

Well...

I don't know.

When I started clubbing. Do you not remember?

You wrote the bus times on my arm with a permanent marker

- so I wouldn't get home late. - I was worried about you.

You're my little sister, it should be the other way around.

That's not being fussy, that's being a responsible person.

What about your hair?

What about my hair?

You've never changed it.

Since you were eight.

You've never improvised. Not even a plait, a hair pom pom.

Nothing, zilch.

Right.

Hey...

It's all right. You're fantastic.

And if Gustavo doesn't like you, screw him.

What if I don't like myself?

What are you doing?

Come on, stop it. Don't start washing up, I'll do it.

What are you doing?

Look.

Man!

Fucking brilliant! I love your pussy power! Come on, cut off more!

Cut off more.

Oh, my God, what the...!

Awesome!

You go, girl! Love your pussy power!

I cut my hair!

I cut my hair.

I cut my hair!

You're totally crazy!

I'm crazy.

- And I'll do really crazy stuff. - Go for it!

I'm going to be untidy. Not shower.

- Not go to work. - Get laid!

Yes, go out partying.

- Yeah! - Get laid, sing!

I'm going to dance, do drugs!

I'm going to do drugs! Where's your stash of drugs?

Where is it?

No, no...

You've had a real tough day, María, it'll make you feel sick.

- What's this? Cocaine? - Easy.

- No, it's not. - What is it?

Heroin?

What do you mean heroin?

- It's M. - What's M?

MDMA.

- The love drug. - Love? I want it.

You want to go to a kids' party wired?

Yes, I do. I'm not in the mood for kids.

- What if you have a bad trip? - No.

Do I have to dissolve it in water?

No, suck your finger and stick it in the sachet.

Just a little bit, okay?

Just a little bit, I said! Idiot, you'll feel like crap!

It's all right!

- No, it'll be fine. Want some? - You're gonna get sick!

All right, then.

- You did drugs. - How long does it take?

María, María.

You're super special.

Whoever loves you will have to accept you and your obsessions.

María.

You and your obsessions.

María, María.

What are you doing here?

It's my party.

What do you reckon to this?

It's great here.

We'll throw the next party here.

Well, we'll see. Don't get your hopes up.

You did a great job with this party. I don't make as much effort.

- It got a bit out of hand. - Hey, we won't complain.

Did you hang up the small flags?

No, Genaro the caretaker helped me.

- And the gardener, too. - Awesome.

Hey, Gari. You're done with that, right?

Yeah, nearly done.

Nearly done?

Come with me, then.

I have something for you.

Okay.

Do you sell many paintings?

Well...

Right now it's a subject that...

It's worthy of discussion.

Why?

- Art versus commerce. - Sure.

What's the most important thing for you guys: pure creative art

or public acknowledgement?

Pure creative art always, right? It's like...

- It's pure. - Sure.

Sure!

Do you use Instagram?

My niece is an illustrator, she sells loads of work on it.

- Really? - Yes.

She has over 50,000 followers.

Wow!

She's called Cactus Girl.

I don't like social media much. I don't feel comfortable, you know?

I paint on canvas.

- Oh! - Sure, I exhibit...

I love your scarf.

- Is it cashmere? - Yes.

It's "catch me".

- Catch... - "Catch me"!

Oh, now I get it!

To my retirement.

- More? - More.

I'm gonna get drunk, Genaro.

I'm glad to have met you.

Me too, Genaro.

Down in one.

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday, dear Paula!

Happy birthday to you!

- What's up? You're acting weird. - What?

- What did you do to your hair? - Kids!

- Who fancies a painting class? - Me!

In you all go, then. Come in, inside.

Hey, your friend Marta...

- Straight. - Sure?

They're having a great time. Thanks.

- Just wait for the painting class. - Sure.

We can have a few gins later, right?

Yes, absolutely. G&Ts now!

Okay, if you help me clear up.

- Okay? - Right.

- I'm so wired! - Me too.

- Anything else? - A chair and that's it.

- Don't worry, I'll tidy it up later. - Okay.

Let's go dance, pick up people.

Dancing and pulling. And pulling too.

- I have a class. - Whatever, let's go.

I'm all flexible. I can feel my skin.

Embrace how you feel, embrace it.

- I don't know... - My finger tastes great.

Lick yourself. Touch yourself. You're gonna freak out.

Feel the greenness. Go to the castle...

Connect with nature, you'll flip out. I really mean it.

Feel the greenness. I'll come back for you.

Guys!

Pablo!

Where are you?

What a pity, you're going to miss it. Well, actually, you're missing it.

She loved it.

Yes.

Gotta go, Esther's giving a painting class. Catch you later.

Yes, sure. See you in a while. Don't worry.

Hi.

Hi.

What's your name?

Gari.

Gari!

Like GariGrant.

You smell so good.

Can I hold you?

What?

Can I kiss you?

Why do you write in English, Cactus Girl?

Here, I cleaned them.

Doesn't this drawing look like a real piece of shit to you?

No.

Cris, can you fix me one of your G&Ts with thingies in it?

What's this?

Vitamins.

No.

- They're not vitamins. - They are.

Why are you taking the pill?

Hiya! Any cake left?

- Hi, honey! - Wow, what's this!

What's Frida Kahlo doing here? An autograph, please.

- How are you, man? - Hi.

You're prettier, you know? You don't have a unibrow.

- You okay? - Fine.

Relieved.

Finally finished that car campaign.

That's why I couldn't get away.

No worries. Put the girls to bed, okay?

No, that's not enough.

You two stay here, have your girl talk. Don't touch a thing.

My surprise! My surprise!

Look, this is from your mum...

Hey, Martina is sleeping.

Check out this cool motorbike.

What do you reckon?

- How does it work? - No, we'll try it out tomorrow.

- Yeah! - Just one thing...

I saw María in the bouncy castle and she looked a bit out of it.

Because she took a lot of vitamins.

Yeah, the doctor prescribed them for this party.

Say goodbye.

- Bye. - See you tomorrow.

Give me those vitamins, boy! Give me the vitamins.

What's up with María?

Mery!

- How many G&Ts have you had? - About four... Not so many!

Why would she be there?

I don't believe she's in the castle.

- Yes, she is! - Look at her.

Mery!

What are you doing there?

Have you been here all the time?

Careful, Esther, careful.

You're so rough.

How do you feel?

Hungover.

No, I mean about Gustavo.

I bet it's nothing. Tomorrow you'll talk and sort it out.

Doesn't look that way.

I wanted to start a family and stuff, but...

Well, that's that.

I won't have kids.

But I wanted to.

I don't have many eggs left.

Hold on.

No, I don't have many eggs left.

- They said I can freeze some. - Just chill out.

You're coming down off the M.

You get super analytical, you think a lot.

What?

Did you come to my daughter's party on drugs?

She did too.

Jesus, what a snitch you are!

I don't believe it. You two are the bloody worst.

Seriously?

- Seriously? - You take the pill in secret.

What?

The pill?

What about having another kid?

Know what your sister did?

Spent all afternoon hassling Marquitos's mum.

She's been dying to eat pussy since she got her period.

You wish!

Hurrah!

Pour it nice and slowly.

- Here's to our new lives. - To us.

We're gonna kick ass!

What's going on? It's sinking!

What's happening?

- Jesus! - It's falling on top of us!

7 WEEKS LATER

There it is.

The size of a lentil.

When was your last period?

A month and half ago, almost two.

Well, you're seven weeks pregnant.