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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:37,212 Behind me is Thomas Kub's house. Today is Thomas Kub's birthday. 3 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:40,591 And this is Project X, yo. 4 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:51,469 (SINGING) Hey, we want some pussy 5 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,805 (HUMMING) 6 00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:59,318 Hey, we want some pussy 7 00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:02,195 Birthday cake. Mm. 8 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,899 - Dax, my dick is gonna get so wet tonight. - Excuse me. 9 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,990 Shit. Um, Mrs. Kub, I thought you guys left already. 10 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:13,157 - So, what's getting wet tonight? - Uh... 11 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,917 Nothing. I'm sorry about that, Mrs. Kub. 12 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,829 - Who's your friend? - Don't worry about him. 13 00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:21,090 We're shooting this birthday movie for Thomas. 14 00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,592 Like this day-in-the-life type thing. No big deal. 15 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,878 He's still in the shower. 16 00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,214 See you later. 17 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,303 (WHISPERING) Fuck me, that was close. 18 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,269 Dax. 19 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,184 (SHOWER RUNNING) 20 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:49,860 (IN NORMAL VOICE) Happy birthday, motherfucker! 21 00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:52,200 Whoa, shit! What the fuck, dude? 22 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,533 COSTA: What the fuck? - I'm jerking off to your mom. 23 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:59,294 COSTA: So, dude, it's your last day of being a loser. How does it feel? 24 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,751 THOMAS: You're such a dick, Costa. 25 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,665 Shit never gets old. 26 00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,376 (WIZ KHALIFA'S "WHEN I'M GONE" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 27 00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,510 COSTA (SINGING): Wait for another day 28 00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:10,263 What's up, Dax? How'd they rope you into this? 29 00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:12,299 He's one of J.B.'s guys from Gay-V Club. 30 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:15,060 He's a fucking weirdo, I know, but he's a solid shooter. 31 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,846 And he's gonna make us look pimp, and you fucking better. 32 00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,266 DAD: Thomas, get down here! 33 00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:22,275 Oh, shit. Let's go. 34 00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:23,651 (MUSIC STOPS) 35 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,568 COSTA: You said your parents would be gone by 7. 36 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,607 I don't wanna go talk to your fucking dad. 37 00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:36,870 DAD: No food in the living room. Your mother will kill me and I'll have to kill you. 38 00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:39,126 - Here's 40 bucks for pizza, okay? THOMAS: Oh, cool. 39 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:42,163 DAD: You guys can have that. Knock yourself out. 40 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,252 Back door or turn the alarm system off. 41 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:47,918 And look, Thomas, I'm not an idiot. I know you're gonna have friends over. 42 00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:50,964 - Dad, what do you think is gonna happen? - Mr. Kub, honestly, we have no... 43 00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:53,348 Mm-mm. I'm sorry. Who are you? 44 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:54,804 THOMAS: This is Dax. DAD: What is this? 45 00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:58,061 THOMAS: He's shooting a movie for my birthday, you know, a little present. 46 00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:01,269 DAD: Didn't know you had Goth friends. THOMAS: He's just a friend from school. 47 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:02,853 DAD: Four or five friends, tops. 48 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,815 I'm just asking that you please respect my house, okay? 49 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,445 THOMAS: All right, fine. 50 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,864 DAD: So leave the gate open for the gardener. 51 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:13,118 And I know I don't need to tell you, but my car is off limits. 52 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:15,278 - Yeah, Dad, I know. - Good. Okay. 53 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,789 The pool heater, don't touch it. 54 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:20,667 And also, guys, do not go in my office, right? 55 00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:24,626 I have three projects I'm working on. I don't want anybody in there, clear? 56 00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:27,132 - Get out, out, out. THOMAS: Dad... 57 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:30,010 Nothing goes in here, right? 58 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:33,843 Where's your mom? I'm gonna get the bags. 59 00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:37,642 DAD: What's going on? What's the matter? 60 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,474 - I'm just worried. - About what? 61 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,185 I don't know. Thomas, leaving him alone all weekend. 62 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:45,942 Oh, please, stop it. Come on, honey. He's 17 years old. 63 00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:47,478 That's what I'm worried about. 64 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,781 Let's be realistic here, okay? 65 00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:54,159 This is Thomas we're talking about. He's not exactly Mr. Popular. 66 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:58,072 - What is that supposed to mean? - I'm just saying that he's not that type of kid. 67 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:02,334 He's got a couple of friends. They're gonna hang out, but they're not gonna do anything. 68 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,711 He's a sweet kid, but... 69 00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,831 ...he's a loser. 70 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,802 ALL (SINGING): Happy birthday to you 71 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,178 (PARENTS APPLAUDING) 72 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:16,339 DAD: Happy birthday, Thomas. - Whoo! Yay! 73 00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:17,849 DAD: All right, honey, car is here. 74 00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,601 - Boys, gotta get to school. THOMAS: Cool. 75 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,263 Hold on. We gotta give Thomas his birthday present. 76 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,182 How cool is it that Thomas was born on your anniversary? 77 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,726 What a great anniversary gift, a baby. 78 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:30,021 MOM: Happy birthday, sweetie. THOMAS: Ahh. 79 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:32,155 - Mom's minivan? Nice. DAD: Yeah. 80 00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,533 It's just for school and back. That's it, right? 81 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:37,365 - Yes. Thank you so much. - Cool, right? You have a car now. 82 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,120 THOMAS: I know. - Okay. 83 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,909 And, Milo, you take good care of Thomas, okay? Momma's gonna miss you. 84 00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:45,293 - Okay, bye. - All right, see you guys. 85 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,705 Every one of my phone calls gets answered, right? 86 00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,669 - Yeah, I know. - Every one. Okay. 87 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,378 - All right, have fun. COSTA: Bye. 88 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,839 THOMAS: Happy anniversary. 89 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,547 Get off me, you little faggot dog. 90 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,215 - Yeah! - It's on, motherfuckers! 91 00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:01,851 - Whoo! THOMAS: Dude, chill out. Goddamn. 92 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:06,102 COSTA: It was really cool of your mom and dad to clean it out and wash it for you. 93 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,063 It's a free car. I'm not about to complain about a free car. 94 00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:12,821 It's not even a car. It's a fucking minivan. We can't even roll in this. 95 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:16,279 Dude, too bad your dad didn't give you the Benz. That'd have been sick. 96 00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:19,786 You know what, you're right, Costa. Let's just take your car. 97 00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:23,415 - Oh, you don't have one. - Good fucking joke, good fucking joke. 98 00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,951 COSTA: So, dog, you ready for tonight? 99 00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:30,213 THOMAS: I actually wanna talk to you about that, you know, before we jump into it. 100 00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:32,795 COSTA: I knew it. You're bitching out. THOMAS: What? 101 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,589 What? Dude, I'm not bitching out. 102 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,301 Thomas is bitching out like the little bitch that he is. 103 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:41,592 THOMAS: Fuck you. - Oh, my God. 104 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,510 (THOMAS LAUGHING) 105 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:46,346 - Oh, shit. - We need this party. You need this party. 106 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:49,483 THOMAS: I'm just nervous. What if nobody shows up? What if it sucks? 107 00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:52,941 COSTA: That's not an option. People will show up. 108 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,572 Look at J.B. He's like a little fat Rain Man, texting away. 109 00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:56,777 (HORN HONKS) 110 00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:59,944 THOMAS: Dude, stop. COSTA: You're telling me he doesn't need this? 111 00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:08,377 Holy shit, dude. Your parents gave you the minivan? That's awesome! 112 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,129 - Yeah. - Hey, Costa. Hey, Dax. 113 00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:15,755 BRENDAN: That isn't happening. That's not real. 114 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,011 THOMAS: Uh, excuse me... GIRL: Sorry. 115 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,467 Hey, can I get to my locker right there? 116 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,724 Dude, why are you staring at my dick? 117 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,100 (ALL LAUGHING) 118 00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:26,353 I wasn't. My locker's there. Can I get to it? 119 00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:30,982 - Whatever, you fucking weirdo. COSTA: Dude, just let it go. Just come on. 120 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:37,031 - Hey, that's a sweet minivan, soccer mom. - See? See what I told you? 121 00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,440 (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) 122 00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:40,860 BOY: Is it true what I heard about you at Zam's party? 123 00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:42,494 You got a blowjob from his mom? 124 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:45,326 That party was so sick. Everyone got laid. 125 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,331 Wheelchair Robert even got a handjob. 126 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,163 BOY: Nice. - Are you kidding me? 127 00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,670 Why the fuck weren't we at that party, man? 128 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,626 So we missed a party, dude. Big deal. 129 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:56,086 It is a big deal. We miss every party. 130 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,628 I mean, did you hear that guy? Wheelchair Robert got beat off. 131 00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:03,173 I wanna show you something. See this? Check this out. 132 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:06,184 That's Stasia. Gorgeous, right? That's my girl back in Queens. 133 00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:09,517 We could be crushing this kind of ass, but we need a game changer. 134 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,727 I mean, no one even knows who we are. 135 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:14,985 If we want to be bigtime players, we need to make a bigtime play. 136 00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:16,694 You feel me? 137 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:19,356 J.B., what the fuck, man? Why do you have a boner? 138 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,196 - I don't, it's just my underwear sitting funny. - Cover up. 139 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,032 COSTA: That's absolutely disgusting. 140 00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:27,073 THOMAS: It's easy to talk shit when the party's not even at your house. 141 00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:32,335 COSTA: Dude, please don't back out. This party is gonna change everything for us. 142 00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:35,464 Okay. Well, I mean, I'm the one taking the whole risk. 143 00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,374 All you do is show up and drink. 144 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,838 You think we'd ditch you if something went wrong? 145 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:42,003 - I'm fucking offended, man. - Yeah, me too. 146 00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,423 The idea behind tonight is to get these bitches... 147 00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,557 ...to recognize us as large-scale ballers. 148 00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:49,890 Back in Queens, I had hoes blowing me on the reg. 149 00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:54,058 - I started hanging out with you two. Zero! - I just don't really see the point any more. 150 00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:57,649 COSTA: How do you not see the point? There's the point. There's the point. 151 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:58,858 THOMAS: Okay. 152 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:01,148 COSTA: There's two more fucking points right there! It's all around you. 153 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,361 THOMAS: Dude, I get it. 154 00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:06,324 If you fuck this up, I will stab you. I'm not kidding. 155 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,739 - Okay, no more than 20 people. - Twenty people? 156 00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,748 - All right, 30 people. - Thirty people? 157 00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:15,253 - To make sure my house doesn't get fucked. J.B.: Thirty people won't change anything for us. 158 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:18,131 All right, look, okay, 50 people, absolute max. 159 00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:21,589 Fine, 50 people, absolute max. 160 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,924 You know, just big enough to be cool. 161 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:29,560 MAN (ON TV): Sand, an adversary in many ways more dangerous than those carrying weapons. 162 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,016 Mass marketing, handled. 163 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,278 (CELL PHONES VIBRATING) 164 00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:51,494 - Shh. COSTA: Yeah, of course, Jack. Anything. 165 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,875 And if you guys get there before we get there... 166 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,287 ...you can just get in the backyard and set up... 167 00:08:56,453 --> 00:09:01,300 - ...and do what you gotta do. - Dax, Dax. Go film over the top. 168 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:04,052 COSTA: Okay. Really, we appreciate that. 169 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,134 Oh, uh... I have to call you back, sir. I'm sorry. 170 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,470 What are you doing? Get the fuck out of here! 171 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:13,057 THOMAS: What the fuck are you doing? - Guys. Hey, guys, what the fuck? 172 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,471 (J.B. & THOMAS LAUGHING) 173 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,810 COSTA: Are you fucking with me right now? 174 00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,271 J.B.: Look. COSTA: That was a business call for your party. 175 00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:21,402 THOMAS: Who takes a shit and makes a business call? 176 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,689 COSTA: Are you kidding? THOMAS: Now you can shit in peace. 177 00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:26,825 COSTA: Come on, dude. I can't see a thing. It's dark as fuck in here. 178 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,951 (COACH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 179 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,493 COSTA: Dax, come on. Let's get closer. 180 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:35,667 GIRL: Heh, heh. THOMAS: It should be pretty cool, I think. 181 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,293 Basically chill. 182 00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:39,125 I'm letting Costa plan most of it. 183 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:42,666 Oh, that sounds like a really brilliant idea. 184 00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:46,678 No, he's doing a good job. He's getting, like, a bunch of booze and then... 185 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,634 ...I think, like, a DJ. 186 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,641 - A DJ. Super chill. THOMAS: Ha. 187 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:55,562 Guess what Mama Kub and Papa Kub got for... 188 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,894 - Baby Kub? - ...Baby Kub for his birthday. 189 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:01,059 - What? - The Kub Mobile. 190 00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:03,524 - They gave you the minivan? - For my birthday, yes. 191 00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,529 Your parents give the worst gifts ever. 192 00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,361 - Where's your present? - You serious? 193 00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,697 You haven't gotten me a present in 10 years. 194 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,281 So? 195 00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:16,666 But since I am a better friend than you, I did get you something. 196 00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:19,453 - Oh. - I'll bring it tonight. Hey, I have to go run. 197 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,963 - Happy birthday, loser. - Ow. 198 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:24,883 - Don't trip. KIRBY: Ow! 199 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,715 THOMAS: Oh, shit! KIRBY: I'm okay! Heh. 200 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,551 COSTA: Thomas, suck my cock. THOMAS: What? 201 00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:34,263 - "Mama Kub and Papa Kub"? Jesus. - Yeah, those are my parents, asshole. 202 00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:37,766 THOMAS: Damn, she's so fucking hot, dude. 203 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:41,816 - Think she'll come tonight? COSTA: I'm not inviting her. You do this one. 204 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:45,605 J.B.: Alexis won't come. She fucks college dudes. 205 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:47,651 (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) 206 00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:54,117 "Lamel"? What? I don't know any Lamel. 207 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,451 COSTA: No, he's cool. 208 00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:58,583 Guys, the last thing I want in my house is a bunch of randoms. 209 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,585 Wrong. Last thing you want is nobody at your fucking house. 210 00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:05,669 The more word gets around, the more likely these chicks will show up at our party. 211 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,802 Watch and learn how Captain Big Dick does it. 212 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,555 (GIRLS CHATTERING) 213 00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:15,388 Hey, girls. Just remember, wear something tight. 214 00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:20,935 What's up, sisters? Thomas Kub's house, 8:00. 215 00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:23,225 Come get a piece of this white chocolate. 216 00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:26,065 DAX: Are you gonna be going to Thomas's birthday party tonight? 217 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:28,355 - Thomas? Who's that? - Who's Thomas? 218 00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:31,908 (INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) 219 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:35,078 That thing that dick in the sweater vest was telling us about? 220 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,079 COSTA: What's up, baby? Eight o'clock. 221 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,282 (INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) 222 00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:43,207 DAX: What are your expectations for the party? 223 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,122 Get high, fuck bitches, you already know. 224 00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:49,418 - I think we'll come. Can we bring people? - Can I bring people? 225 00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:51,712 COSTA: Thomas Kub's house, 8:00. 226 00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:00,394 Oh, shit! 227 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,268 Ahh! 228 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:03,647 (THOMAS LAUGHS) 229 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:07,482 COSTA: What we are witnessing is truly a breathtaking moment... 230 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,646 ...in the life of young Thomas. 231 00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:14,693 The helpless fetus is growing a tiny, tiny penis... 232 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:20,245 ...a penis he may someday insert into this female's vagina... 233 00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:26,163 ...should he survive his first encounter without her eating him. 234 00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:39,634 (INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) 235 00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,844 Paper towels. Get long. 236 00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,014 THOMAS: Don't! - Dude, get a ton. 237 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:47,559 Oh, shit. Extra-large condoms. I'm not paying for that shit. 238 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,529 (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Attention, valued shoppers. 239 00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:52,735 THOMAS: Oh, my God. 240 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:56,367 Join us for an evening of balls-deep entertainment at Thomas Kub's house. 241 00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,028 Dude, stop. 242 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:05,293 COSTA (IN NORMAL VOICE): Hey, little buddy. Want something to drink? Hey. 243 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:08,671 J.B.: He's gonna catch him and he's gonna get his ass kicked. 244 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,543 (CRYING) 245 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,170 THOMAS: You guys, we good on OJ? COSTA: Sunny D, dude. 246 00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:17,634 Grab it. Throw it in. I love... 247 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,174 How are we doing on eggs? 248 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,557 Holy shit, dude. It's Miles Teller. 249 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,731 - Dude, it is. That's him. Holy shit. J.B.: He's so badass. 250 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:30,234 COSTA: Yeah, my boy's starting at second base for USC. 251 00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:32,896 J.B.: He got sent to detention once and banged the teacher. 252 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:35,064 Mi-Tell, what's cracking, bro? 253 00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:37,825 - We go to North Pass. THOMAS: Yeah, dude, big fans. 254 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,658 COSTA: Huge fans. - Cool. Awesome. 255 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,743 COSTA: Look, we're making a movie. 256 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:46,330 J.B.: Invite him, man. Come on. THOMAS: All right. Okay. Um... 257 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:51,714 We're having a soirée at my place tonight. If you wanna swing by, it should be... 258 00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:54,092 My boy is underselling this like a motherfucker. 259 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,594 This shit's gonna be legit. You should swing by. 260 00:13:56,753 --> 00:14:00,223 Yeah, I can't. I actually got other plans tonight, so I might not make it. 261 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:04,386 Dude, think about it. It's on Dickens Street. We'd love to have you. 262 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,429 - Uh, Dickens Street? COSTA: Yeah. 263 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,473 That's your party? You're throwing that? 264 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,937 That's where I'm going. Heard it's gonna be crazy. 265 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,853 That's my party. I'm Thomas Kub. It's my birthday today. 266 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,614 Yeah, I heard it's gonna be unlimited high-school pussy. 267 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,071 COSTA: Dude, high-school pussy for days. 268 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:22,112 What? Mind your own business, lady. 269 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,326 MILES: How you guys doing on liquor? You got liquor? 270 00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:25,536 THOMAS: Uh... 271 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,952 Don't even worry about it, man. I'll bring it, call my boys up. 272 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,621 - Don't want you to sweat anything. THOMAS: Thank you so much. 273 00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:34,257 Hey, it's your day. Cool. See you guys tonight, then. 274 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,258 THOMAS: All right, cool. - Dickens Street. 275 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:39,296 - Teller, bring your mitt. We'll play catch. MILES: No. 276 00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:41,464 - Fuck. - "Bring your mitt"? The fuck? 277 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,633 (OVER SPEAKERS) Nothing like black pussy on my dick 278 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,552 Word to the motherfucking DJ Quik 279 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,141 Okay, here's what I want. 280 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:51,353 Party's limited to the backyard, okay? 281 00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:54,440 The house'll be locked and the alarm'll be set. 282 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,363 - No one is going inside, all right? COSTA: Stop. 283 00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,650 - Throw down in the bushes? THOMAS: I don't care. 284 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:02,990 If I don't fuck a girl with big tits tonight, I'm drowning myself. 285 00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:06,247 Don't care if she's 300 pounds. I have to fuck a girl with big tits. 286 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,329 THOMAS: Oh, my God. COSTA: Feel my drift, J.B.? 287 00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:09,583 J.B.: Sure do. 288 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:14,168 I mean, I'd love to get some oral or, you know, at least do some finger-banging. 289 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:17,129 What? Finger-banging? Can you please elaborate? 290 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,337 You take your first finger, your thumb and your middle finger. 291 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,463 Make a "come here" motion. "Come here." 292 00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:25,179 This is called "machine guns" or "friendly scissors." 293 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:27,810 The "circle of pleasure." The "itsy-bitsy spider." 294 00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:29,937 Tapping and circling. Tap, tap, tap. 295 00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,349 Keep telling her how pretty she is the whole time. 296 00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:34,017 Shut the fuck up! 297 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,652 - Your loss, man. It's good knowledge. THOMAS: Oh, my God. 298 00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:39,985 COSTA: Straight up here, then take a right again. THOMAS: All right, listen. 299 00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:43,948 The three of us will have full access to the house for sex and finger-banging. 300 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,329 COSTA.: Yes. THOMAS: But no one else, okay? 301 00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:48,489 COSTA: Of course, bro, we got your back. 302 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,033 - Hey, take a right. THOMAS: Here? 303 00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,873 COSTA: You're gonna want to lock your doors. THOMAS: Are you serious? 304 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,709 COSTA: Yes, I'm serious. THOMAS: Where the fuck are we going? 305 00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:58,796 T-Rick's. Gotta score some of that chronic shit. 306 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,461 J.B.: Are you sure this guy's cool? COSTA: T-Rick's the coolest. 307 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:04,847 He's ex-military. Wait till you see his gun collection. Fucking insane. 308 00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:06,349 J.B.: This place is ghetto as fuck. 309 00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:09,852 THOMAS: Why do we have to come all the way here? We can't just get it at school? 310 00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:12,810 Where do you think the school gets it? This is wholesale. 311 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,441 THOMAS: You are literally retarded. 312 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,819 COSTA: Ah, shut the fuck up. 313 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:20,195 J.B.: Ah! Fuck. 314 00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:21,947 COSTA: T-Rick, open up. 315 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,662 - Hey, hey, hey. - Hey, what's up, bro? 316 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,573 - I haven't seen you in a minute, Costa. - Yeah. 317 00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:33,414 - Nice to see you. - How are you doing? Everything copacetic? 318 00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:36,170 Everything's great. You upgraded the dish. Looks great. 319 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,297 Yeah, I fucking did, upscaled it. 320 00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,129 - Upscaled it. I fucking did. - Yeah. 321 00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:42,259 - These are my boys, J.B. and Thomas. J.B.: Hi. 322 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:45,046 All right, yeah, yeah. Come on in, come on in. 323 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,175 (DOG BARKING) 324 00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:54,347 Oh, yeah, that was a 12-millimeter semi-automatic Mossberg Maverick. 325 00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:57,939 - I'd love to go to the range with you. - Yeah, that's a good idea. 326 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,354 Going on the range, get it all out of your system. 327 00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,906 Pretend you're killing cops, if you want. 328 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:05,988 (OVER SPEAKERS) You're beautiful 329 00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:09,946 You're beautiful, it's true 330 00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:14,200 I saw your face 331 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,869 In a crowded place 332 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,290 All right, well, I'll get your stuff. Here, stoke up the fires, buddy. 333 00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:22,333 COSTA: Oh, man, you the man. Fuck, yeah, T-Rick. 334 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,423 T-RICK: Yeah, kick ass with that. 335 00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:26,762 J.B.: Hey. Can we get going? 336 00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:31,718 THOMAS: Costa, come sit down, dude. He's about to fucking... 337 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,854 COSTA: Check it out. THOMAS: What are you doing? 338 00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,480 Fucking stop. 339 00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:37,891 (COSTA GRUNTS) 340 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,809 That's technically a homosexual act. 341 00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,193 (COSTA MOANING) 342 00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:43,354 I'm coming on Santa Claus's face. 343 00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:45,273 THOMAS: Costa, he's coming back. 344 00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,817 - Dax, take it, take it. DAX: What the fuck are you doing? 345 00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:50,658 J.B.: Dude, are you stealing it? COSTA: No, we're just borrowing it. 346 00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:53,118 We need a fucking mascot for the party. 347 00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:56,334 J.B.: Jesus Christ. 348 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,039 T-RICK: Here you go. 349 00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:00,546 Let's do this, I gotta be at the dojo by 5. 350 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,127 - Absolutely. - Cool. 351 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,379 See, I told you guys, T-Rick's just a sweetheart. Mm. 352 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:08,592 (SNIFFS) 353 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:09,971 Smell it, J.B. 354 00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,975 - You little fucking cocksuckers! COSTA: Oh, fuck! 355 00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:15,228 - Give me back my fucking gnome! COSTA: Fuck! 356 00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:18,185 J.B.: Give him the gnome back. Give him the fucking gnome back. 357 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,395 COSTA: No, fuck that! Just go. J.B.: Get out of here! 358 00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:22,606 COSTA: Oh, shit! J.B.: Oh, fuck! 359 00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:27,031 Holy shit, Thomas, he's fucking wild! He's a fucking crazy man! 360 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,612 Holy shit! He's gone! He fell off! 361 00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:31,243 (TIRES SCREECHING) 362 00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:34,618 - Holy shit, man! J.B.: Holy shit! 363 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,077 (ENGINE STALLING) 364 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,867 (ENGINE STARTS) 365 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,543 THOMAS: Shit, shit, shit! 366 00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:43,127 That's my boy Tom! That was some serious fucking shit right there! 367 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,711 THOMAS: What in the fucking world? 368 00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:47,468 J.B.: Fuck. Shit. 369 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,925 THOMAS: Oh, my God. J.B.: Shit. 370 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:53,224 THOMAS: God, dude, he fucking cracked my windshield. 371 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:57,558 COSTA: Fuck it, my cousin owns a body shop. He can fix it, no problem, man. 372 00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,931 (IN CHINESE ACCENT) The kung fu no good here. 373 00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:02,941 COSTA: Oh, fuck! Holy shit! - Give me back my gnome! 374 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,855 COSTA: Holy shit! J.B.: Guy's like the fucking Terminator! Jesus! 375 00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:10,651 - No, he was super pissed though. J.B.: Dude scares the shit out of me. 376 00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:13,236 BOY 1: Hey, boss. 377 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:14,779 What the fuck? 378 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:17,744 COSTA: There he is. This is Everett and his boy Tyler. 379 00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:19,750 They're running security for the night. 380 00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:22,412 THOMAS: Are you serious? Are those nunchucks? 381 00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:23,750 - Yeah. THOMAS: Oh, shit. 382 00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:26,007 J.B.: Look like ninjas. - Ninjas are fucking pussies! 383 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,587 COSTA: I love this kid. - You know it. 384 00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:29,923 COSTA: With these two, we got nothing to worry about. 385 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:31,929 - We're outside the Kub house. BOY 2: Hey. 386 00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,090 - We have bogeys. BOY 2: What up, Costa? 387 00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:35,633 COSTA: Do I know you guys? 388 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,098 We heard about your shindig tonight. We want in. 389 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,352 COSTA: You freshmen? - Yeah. 390 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,106 COSTA: Get the fuck out of here, man. - Come on, dude. 391 00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:45,484 COSTA: Are you still talking? Get the fuck out of here. 392 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:46,940 KYLE: Dick! 393 00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,276 (THOMAS CHUCKLES) 394 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,233 COSTA: J.B., drop those bags. We got work to do. 395 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:55,869 (DOORBELL RINGS) 396 00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:00,033 Hi. Good evening, Mrs. Stillson. My name's Oliver. 397 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,746 This is my friend Jonathan. 398 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:04,378 - And we're both friends of Thomas Kub's. - Oh. 399 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:07,131 Yeah, we're hosting a little birthday party for Thomas. 400 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,963 And we wanted to give you the courtesy of informing you... 401 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:12,800 ...that there'd possibly be a bit of party-related noise. 402 00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:16,182 I wanted to give you my number in case you had problems or concerns. 403 00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:19,310 You're a very beautiful woman. Call me anytime you want. 404 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:22,563 - Thank you. That's very sweet of you. - I mean that when I say that. 405 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:23,939 You are very beautiful. 406 00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:26,146 ...a little party for Thomas. He lives there. 407 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:27,605 Am I invited? 408 00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,987 - Yeah, dude, fine. Yeah, you can come by. - Nice. 409 00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:32,524 Thank you very much. Have a good time at your party. 410 00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:35,284 COSTA: Thank you, I appreciate this. Come by anytime you want. 411 00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:37,116 - All right, see you. J.B.: All right. 412 00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:38,746 - Bye, baby. COSTA: See you guys. 413 00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:44,960 (COSTA & WOMAN SPEAKING IN SPANISH) 414 00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,257 (DOORBELL RINGS) 415 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:53,010 (DOG BARKING) 416 00:20:56,046 --> 00:21:00,677 J.B.: Hi, uh, my name's J.B. I'm a friend of Thomas Kub, your neighbor across the street. 417 00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:03,517 I just wanted to let you know that we're gonna be having a party... 418 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,808 ...and it may get a little loud and noisy, but I just wanted to let you know... 419 00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:10,695 ...that if you have any concerns, just let me know and I'll be glad to help out. 420 00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:13,481 You can call me, uh, you could send me a text message. 421 00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:16,491 I'm an open guy. I even have a Facebook account. You can send me: 422 00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:20,700 "it's a little too loud," and I'll be like, "I'll tell them to keep it down." You know how it goes? 423 00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:22,873 (THE HUNDRED IN THE HANDS' "DRESSED IN DRESDEN" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 424 00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:24,409 THOMAS: DJ's over there. J.B.: Cool. 425 00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:27,454 - Um, got the bar set up over here. - Nice. 426 00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,167 - Karaoke in the pool house. - Nice. 427 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:32,675 Holy shit, dude! Where'd you get a bouncy-house? 428 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:35,131 - Costa hooked it up. - You know it, baby. 429 00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:39,223 Fifty bucks extra with the port-a-potty. And they threw these in for free. 430 00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:42,760 J.B.: Nice touch. COSTA: Why not? It's a birthday party. 431 00:21:42,927 --> 00:21:44,304 You wanna help? Do something. 432 00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:47,474 - Hey, Chubs, grab your twin brother there. J.B.: Fucking dick. 433 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,268 - Hey, dudes, check it out. THOMAS: Yeah, like that's gonna work. 434 00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:53,688 COSTA: Yes, it is gonna work. Next time your pool guy's here, he'll be like: 435 00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:57,154 "Excuse me, Mr. Kub. I seem to have found some water in your semen." 436 00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,034 That's fucking disgusting. 437 00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:05,332 COSTA: J.B., I thought I told you to pick up ice. 438 00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:07,835 I did. It's in the freezer in the garage. 439 00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:10,872 - What the fuck are you doing? - Getting in shape for the party. 440 00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:13,882 - The party's in three hours. - It's mostly water weight. 441 00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:17,170 - Wrestlers do it all the time. - Wrestlers also wrestle all the time. 442 00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:18,508 - Crank this thing up. - No. 443 00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:21,015 It's not gonna work unless you crank it up. 444 00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:24,635 Stop. Stop. Stop. 445 00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:26,896 - Let's go, come on. - Dax. Dax, help me. 446 00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:29,523 - No, Dax, you're here to observe. - Help me! Dax! Aah! 447 00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:34,859 Jesus Christ! Are you all right, dude? Oh, my God, J.B., are you all right? 448 00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:38,274 An hour from now, this place is a fucking madhouse. 449 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,569 Not a madhouse, just gonna be a fun, decent-sized party. 450 00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:45,035 Relax. For you. You. 451 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:46,915 Me. Dax. 452 00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:48,997 DAX: Thank you, I don't drink alcohol. 453 00:22:49,159 --> 00:22:50,911 Okay, faggot. 454 00:22:51,078 --> 00:22:54,924 - To one sick fucking night. - Cheers. 455 00:22:57,251 --> 00:23:00,255 (YACHT'S "PSYCHIC CITY (CLASSIXX REMIX)" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 456 00:23:00,421 --> 00:23:03,049 Come on over, over 457 00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,718 (GRUNTING ON VIDEO GAME) 458 00:23:07,595 --> 00:23:08,642 COSTA: Shit! Come on! 459 00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:11,683 Yes. How are you so fucking bad at this game, Costa? 460 00:23:11,849 --> 00:23:14,398 COSTA: Shut up, Kirby. You're killing my concentration right now. 461 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,528 KIRBY: Ha, ha! Thomas, come here! COSTA: Fucker! 462 00:23:16,687 --> 00:23:18,610 KIRBY: I'm kicking Costa's ass! 463 00:23:19,148 --> 00:23:20,695 Oh, watch this. 464 00:23:20,858 --> 00:23:22,860 COSTA: Shit! KIRBY: It looks like I win. 465 00:23:23,027 --> 00:23:25,371 COSTA: Fuck you. - You guys, it's like 9:20 already. 466 00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:27,998 COSTA: Dude, relax. People are gonna show up. I promise, bro. 467 00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:30,876 KIRBY: Getting late. - I'll look like such a dick if no one shows. 468 00:23:31,035 --> 00:23:34,960 Shut the fuck up. It's pissing me off that you don't trust me to know what I'm doing. 469 00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:38,376 I'm the hub of a large social circle. I put the word out, it goes out. 470 00:23:38,542 --> 00:23:40,044 THOMAS: Okay, cool. 471 00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:42,588 - Oh, shit. COSTA: What the fuck are you wearing? 472 00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:45,304 KIRBY: My God. THOMAS: Nice. 473 00:23:46,467 --> 00:23:50,017 KIRBY: You're gonna get laid, dude. - Ladies love a guy with class. 474 00:23:50,179 --> 00:23:52,477 Are you retarded? 475 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:56,561 Jesus Christ, man. Where do you even get shit like that? 476 00:23:56,727 --> 00:23:59,321 - Men's Wearhouse. - Men's Wearhouse? Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. 477 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:00,982 (HORNS HONKING AND CAR DOORS CLOSING) 478 00:24:01,148 --> 00:24:02,616 KIRBY: What is it? 479 00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:06,200 J.B.: Wow, dude, this is fucking... THOMAS: I can't believe it fucking worked. 480 00:24:06,362 --> 00:24:08,615 COSTA: What did I say? Don't doubt the master, bitches! 481 00:24:12,493 --> 00:24:14,495 (INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) 482 00:24:22,211 --> 00:24:23,838 COSTA: Dude, we done good. 483 00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:25,847 J.B.: Jesus, all those chicks are really hot. 484 00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:28,008 COSTA: They're coming in packs. THOMAS: This is insane. 485 00:24:28,175 --> 00:24:29,222 (SPEAKS IN HEBREW) 486 00:24:29,385 --> 00:24:32,355 (OVER SPEAKERS) Beat it, I bet she let me She been fiendin' since she met me 487 00:24:32,513 --> 00:24:35,232 I'm the coolest shit Especially when I throw on all my Gretzky 488 00:24:35,391 --> 00:24:38,110 Got my Smith and Wessie to protect me So respect me 489 00:24:38,268 --> 00:24:40,270 (ALL CHATTERING AND LAUGHING) 490 00:24:40,437 --> 00:24:42,189 COSTA: What up, baby girl? 491 00:24:42,356 --> 00:24:44,324 Andretti on Pirelli Make a movie out the getty 492 00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:47,032 Where my ring and my confetti? I'm Kobe Bryant ready 493 00:24:47,194 --> 00:24:48,821 Pink rosé and chronic smelly 494 00:24:49,029 --> 00:24:51,157 THOMAS: Dude, this is way more than 50 people. 495 00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:52,870 COSTA: Of course it is, it's plus-one. 496 00:24:53,701 --> 00:24:57,205 That's fucking Alexis, dude. She came, man. 497 00:24:57,371 --> 00:24:59,544 THOMAS: Damn, dude. J.B.: Whoa. 498 00:25:00,290 --> 00:25:03,260 COSTA: Thomas, this is your party, and she's the hottest girl here. 499 00:25:03,419 --> 00:25:06,423 - That better be yours tonight. - Damn. 500 00:25:08,048 --> 00:25:10,016 (INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) 501 00:26:25,793 --> 00:26:28,922 (OVER SPEAKERS) White trash party Pull a fifth of Bacardi from out of my underwear 502 00:26:29,088 --> 00:26:30,715 And walk around the party without a care 503 00:26:30,881 --> 00:26:33,805 - Where the fuck is your drink, Thomas? - I'm between beverages. 504 00:26:33,967 --> 00:26:37,267 What the fuck does that even mean? J.B., get this bitch a drink. 505 00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:38,931 Yeah, all right. 506 00:26:40,182 --> 00:26:43,061 (SINGING) Everybody in the club gettin' tipsy 507 00:26:43,811 --> 00:26:45,484 Who's that dude with the mustache? 508 00:26:45,646 --> 00:26:48,069 COSTA: Oh, that's LaRosa. He graduated. 509 00:26:48,232 --> 00:26:50,655 THOMAS: When, in 1986? 510 00:26:50,818 --> 00:26:53,287 Hey, will you at least try and have a good time? 511 00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:55,163 Whoo! 512 00:26:55,405 --> 00:26:56,873 BOY 1: Got it? You tie it? 513 00:26:57,032 --> 00:26:59,831 BOY 2: He's good. Ready to go. BOY 3: Blast off. 514 00:26:59,993 --> 00:27:02,246 (ALL CHEERING) 515 00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:06,838 (OVER SPEAKERS) Pennies up at skinnies Man, I do this for them bunnies 516 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,798 That is not fucking cool. 517 00:27:08,961 --> 00:27:10,588 GIRL: Oh, my God, it's a flying dog! 518 00:27:10,754 --> 00:27:13,052 'Cause, homey That hood is tighter than Kenny's 519 00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:16,348 BOY 4: It's just like Up. 520 00:27:16,510 --> 00:27:18,683 THOMAS: It's my fucking dog. 521 00:27:18,846 --> 00:27:20,189 I gotta record this. 522 00:27:20,347 --> 00:27:22,020 Are you serious right now? 523 00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:25,186 - Fuck this, I'm putting him inside. - Let me help you. 524 00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:27,855 THOMAS: Hey. 525 00:27:29,189 --> 00:27:30,566 (DOG BARKING ON VIDEO) 526 00:27:30,732 --> 00:27:33,781 Can you imagine if your mom ever saw that? 527 00:27:34,194 --> 00:27:35,446 THOMAS: It's my fucking dog. 528 00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:37,114 Poor Milo. 529 00:27:38,532 --> 00:27:40,955 I don't know. It's pretty funny. 530 00:27:41,118 --> 00:27:44,463 - Maybe I'll post it on YouTube. - No, don't, don't, don't. 531 00:27:44,621 --> 00:27:45,918 Seriously, stop. Stop. 532 00:27:46,081 --> 00:27:49,301 KIRBY: Come on, you're way too easy. I love it. 533 00:27:49,459 --> 00:27:50,927 THOMAS: I hate you. 534 00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:55,178 You'll be okay, Milo. I promise. 535 00:27:55,382 --> 00:27:59,387 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING AND CROWD CHEERING NEARBY) 536 00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:03,899 All right, well, um, we better get back out there. 537 00:28:04,057 --> 00:28:05,900 (FAR EAST MOVEMENT'S "CANDY" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 538 00:28:06,059 --> 00:28:07,857 BOY 1: Hey, yo, Kub. Hey, yo, what up, dog? 539 00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:09,567 THOMAS: Yo, what's up, bro? 540 00:28:09,730 --> 00:28:12,984 Let me see what you got Now shake that thing 541 00:28:13,150 --> 00:28:15,198 - Hey, man, what's up? BOY 2: Nice party, man. 542 00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:18,159 Hey, thanks. Would you guys mind getting off my dad's car? 543 00:28:18,322 --> 00:28:20,700 It's just he'll go crazy if anything happens to it. 544 00:28:20,866 --> 00:28:22,243 - Oh, yeah, yeah. - All right. 545 00:28:22,409 --> 00:28:24,753 - Thanks, man, I appreciate it. - Yeah, no problem. 546 00:28:24,912 --> 00:28:27,165 Thomas! You're taking a bullet from me right now. 547 00:28:27,331 --> 00:28:29,584 - What is that? - Tequila. Just fucking take it. 548 00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:31,593 - All right. Fuck, dude. - Come here. Come on. 549 00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:34,301 Ladies, who wants to take a shot with the birthday boy? 550 00:28:34,463 --> 00:28:36,557 - Hell, yeah. - Whoa, uh... Oh. 551 00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:38,934 THOMAS: Careful. COSTA: She's a professional. Open up. 552 00:28:39,092 --> 00:28:41,470 Take it. Oh, my God, she's got a deep throat. 553 00:28:41,637 --> 00:28:45,733 - Okay, open up, open up. Now. GIRL: Yeah! 554 00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:49,023 (OVER SPEAKERS) Say what Bitch, I'm about to blow up 555 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,273 J.B.: Pardon? Oh, hey. GIRL: Hey. 556 00:28:53,774 --> 00:28:56,197 - What's up, guys? - Well, we did it. 557 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,113 This is amazing. How did we get all these people to show up? 558 00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:02,533 Check it out, guys. I'm pretty sure it's that girl from Playboy. 559 00:29:02,699 --> 00:29:04,121 THOMAS: Who? COSTA: Oh, my God, it is her. 560 00:29:04,284 --> 00:29:07,504 She graduated three years ago. She's in Playboy's Pac-10 issue. 561 00:29:07,663 --> 00:29:10,007 - Dibs. - Yeah, like that's gonna happen. 562 00:29:10,165 --> 00:29:11,917 Well, I want to declare it, just in case. 563 00:29:12,084 --> 00:29:13,336 (HORN BLARES) 564 00:29:13,502 --> 00:29:15,379 - Whoa. - Oh, shit. 565 00:29:17,047 --> 00:29:18,264 TYLER: We're fucked! 566 00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:20,050 THOMAS: What? Oh, hey, what's going on? 567 00:29:20,217 --> 00:29:22,970 - There's people in the house! THOMAS: Oh, shit. 568 00:29:23,136 --> 00:29:24,604 - Hey, Costa. TYLER: I'm understaffed. 569 00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:27,437 - Come on, I need your fucking help, man. COSTA: Goddamn it. 570 00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:29,647 J.B.: Wow. Whoa. 571 00:29:29,810 --> 00:29:31,312 (GIRLS CHEERING) 572 00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:35,073 Hey. Hey, hi. Hi. Welcome. Welcome to party. Welcome, welcome. 573 00:29:35,232 --> 00:29:36,279 - Yo! J.B.: Miles! 574 00:29:36,441 --> 00:29:38,443 Little dude. What's up, man? How we doing? 575 00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:40,658 - That's Ashley, Rachel, Sarah. J.B.: Hi, hi. 576 00:29:40,821 --> 00:29:44,121 I brought all these people to your party. Fucking camera creeps me out. 577 00:29:44,283 --> 00:29:46,786 - Yeah, it's... Don't worry MILES: Let's go. 578 00:29:46,952 --> 00:29:49,501 I'm talking about the fucking people in the house. 579 00:29:49,663 --> 00:29:53,008 My parents are gonna crucify me if anything gets fucked up. 580 00:29:53,166 --> 00:29:57,421 I don't care if everyone thinks I'm a dick. I'm getting them out of the house. Now. 581 00:29:57,587 --> 00:29:59,806 Fuck, hey, stop, seriously. 582 00:30:00,424 --> 00:30:02,552 COSTA: Dude, what the fuck are you doing? 583 00:30:03,260 --> 00:30:05,729 - Please don't embarrass me like this. - Hey, listen up! 584 00:30:05,887 --> 00:30:07,560 ALEXIS: Yeah, Thomas! Whoo! 585 00:30:07,723 --> 00:30:10,852 (ALL CHEERING) 586 00:30:11,018 --> 00:30:15,364 Yeah, bro! Birthday boy on the table! That's what I like to see, baby. 587 00:30:15,522 --> 00:30:16,899 - You having a good time? - Yeah. 588 00:30:17,065 --> 00:30:21,411 Come on, guys, let's start making some drinks. Let's get crazy in this bitch. 589 00:30:28,327 --> 00:30:30,000 TYLER: Can I help you, sir? 590 00:30:30,162 --> 00:30:32,631 - I'm here to see Thomas. - First and last name, please. 591 00:30:32,789 --> 00:30:34,791 I'm Rob, the neighbor. Who the fuck are you? 592 00:30:34,958 --> 00:30:38,053 - I'll ask the questions, sir. - Exactly. Get the hell out of my way. 593 00:30:42,424 --> 00:30:43,892 (DOORBELL RINGS) 594 00:30:48,388 --> 00:30:50,390 - Rob, hey. What can I do for you, man? - Hey. 595 00:30:50,557 --> 00:30:53,231 Look, man, I don't mean to be a dick here or anything. 596 00:30:53,393 --> 00:30:56,863 Oliver came over earlier and told me you guys were having a little party... 597 00:30:57,022 --> 00:30:58,274 ...but this is too much. 598 00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:01,910 Yeah, we actually should be winding down, like midnight, I mean, maybe 1. 599 00:31:02,069 --> 00:31:03,412 - Is that okay? - No, it's not. 600 00:31:03,570 --> 00:31:05,914 The baby can't sleep, Melinda works early tomorrow. 601 00:31:06,073 --> 00:31:08,917 Fuck, yeah! My boy Rob is here to rage! Mwah! 602 00:31:09,076 --> 00:31:11,295 - Good to see you. - Actually, I'm not raging. 603 00:31:11,453 --> 00:31:13,547 I'm telling Thomas it's time to shut it down. 604 00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:15,707 You can't be serious. This is a great party. 605 00:31:15,874 --> 00:31:18,923 I am serious, because it's 11:30 at night. It's time to wrap it up. 606 00:31:19,086 --> 00:31:20,929 J.B.: Hey, hey, hey. 607 00:31:21,088 --> 00:31:23,762 Why don't we bring everyone to the back, lower the volume? 608 00:31:23,924 --> 00:31:26,268 Guys, this isn't a request. The party's over. 609 00:31:26,426 --> 00:31:29,680 I guess we're just gonna have to agree to disagree, then, aren't we? 610 00:31:29,846 --> 00:31:32,770 Listen to me, Thomas. Either shut it down or I'm calling the cops. 611 00:31:32,933 --> 00:31:34,526 Ahh. 612 00:31:34,684 --> 00:31:36,937 Fine. Fuck it. I'm calling the fucking cops... Aah! 613 00:31:37,104 --> 00:31:38,947 COSTA: Fuck! THOMAS: Oh, shit! 614 00:31:39,106 --> 00:31:41,780 Jesus fucking Christ! What'd you do that for? 615 00:31:41,942 --> 00:31:44,786 COSTA: Are you kidding me? I will fucking kill you! 616 00:31:44,945 --> 00:31:47,789 The little fuck Tased me! I'm definitely calling the cops now! 617 00:31:47,948 --> 00:31:50,667 You punched a kid in the face! I'm calling the cops on you. 618 00:31:50,826 --> 00:31:54,171 Do it, genius. It's all on tape. I just saw this motherfucker record it. 619 00:31:54,329 --> 00:31:56,878 DAX: All I got was you punching that little child's face. 620 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:58,337 Fuck you. 621 00:31:58,500 --> 00:31:59,797 COSTA: Go home, Robert! 622 00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:02,008 BOY: It was just a kid, man! 623 00:32:03,630 --> 00:32:05,758 - Are you all right, man? THOMAS: Is he okay? 624 00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:07,392 You're a fucking champion. 625 00:32:07,551 --> 00:32:10,805 He sucker-punched you. You'd own that bitch in a real fight. 626 00:32:10,971 --> 00:32:12,143 - You think so? - I know so. 627 00:32:12,305 --> 00:32:14,307 Fuck that asshole. You're killing it, bro. 628 00:32:14,474 --> 00:32:17,068 BOY: Yo, Costa, what's up? - Yo, go in the back. 629 00:32:17,227 --> 00:32:20,982 I need you to dial back like 10, 15 percent. You can't hard-charge all the time. 630 00:32:21,148 --> 00:32:23,242 All right? And lose the Taser, okay? 631 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,653 - Got it. - Get down here. 632 00:32:25,819 --> 00:32:28,038 We need a post up at the cockbiter's house. 633 00:32:28,196 --> 00:32:31,746 If he calls the cops, I want you to radio it over to me, okay? 634 00:32:34,661 --> 00:32:36,663 Get out of here. Go. 635 00:32:44,546 --> 00:32:47,891 Alexis was eye-fucking you, and you got college girls on your dick. 636 00:32:48,049 --> 00:32:49,847 - You're golden! THOMAS: Dude, I'm so fucked. 637 00:32:50,010 --> 00:32:53,105 - Relax, man, everything's going great. DAVE: Shit. 638 00:32:53,263 --> 00:32:56,267 Are you fucking kidding me? Didn't I tell you two to fuck off? 639 00:32:56,433 --> 00:32:59,152 - Get down here now. - Come on, there's like 200 people here. 640 00:32:59,311 --> 00:33:01,814 I don't care. T, get these freshmen out of here. 641 00:33:01,980 --> 00:33:04,699 This is a party for grownups. Let's fucking go. 642 00:33:04,858 --> 00:33:06,986 Makes no sense. This kid's younger than we are. 643 00:33:07,152 --> 00:33:09,621 THOMAS: How the hell did they get up there? - Move it, fellas. 644 00:33:09,779 --> 00:33:12,532 - You too, get out of here. - That's my boy. That's my boy. 645 00:33:12,699 --> 00:33:15,122 See, the kid's a pro. We got nothing to worry about. 646 00:33:15,285 --> 00:33:17,788 Dude, you heard Rob, man. What if he calls the cops? 647 00:33:17,954 --> 00:33:21,049 The guy isn't gonna do shit. He punched a 12-year-old in the face. 648 00:33:21,208 --> 00:33:24,929 Thomas, everything's under control. Let's just have some fun. 649 00:33:25,086 --> 00:33:27,214 I got this, okay? 650 00:33:30,550 --> 00:33:32,723 Cannonball, bitches! 651 00:33:32,886 --> 00:33:34,888 (CROWD CHEERING) 652 00:33:35,055 --> 00:33:38,025 (ANIMAL COLLECTIVE'S "MY GIRLS" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 653 00:33:38,183 --> 00:33:40,902 (COSTA SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) 654 00:33:41,061 --> 00:33:44,782 I don't care for fancy things 655 00:33:44,940 --> 00:33:48,911 Or to take part in the vicious race 656 00:33:49,486 --> 00:33:51,580 This is the Thomas Kub pool cam. 657 00:33:51,738 --> 00:33:53,661 Dude, check it out. Check it out. 658 00:33:53,990 --> 00:33:56,084 COSTA: Whoa, whoa, whoa, read the sign, honey. 659 00:33:56,243 --> 00:33:58,871 Sorry, I don't make the rules. 660 00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:01,085 (OVER SPEAKERS) Ra y-Ban vision, these ain't no prescription 661 00:34:01,248 --> 00:34:02,545 (CROWD CHEERING) 662 00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:04,709 THOMAS: No fucking way. 663 00:34:04,876 --> 00:34:06,173 Dude, go over there. 664 00:34:06,336 --> 00:34:08,259 Do you fucking believe this? 665 00:34:12,759 --> 00:34:15,012 (GIRLS SCREAMING) 666 00:34:15,178 --> 00:34:20,105 In this, feelin' tremendous Lenses darker than the tint on my Benzes 667 00:34:20,267 --> 00:34:21,564 Yeah! Ha, ha! 668 00:34:22,978 --> 00:34:26,027 She told me take my glasses off But she looks horrendous 669 00:34:36,616 --> 00:34:37,913 (DAX GRUNTS) 670 00:34:39,869 --> 00:34:42,292 I see you haters coming Niggas don't think that I'm slipping 671 00:34:42,455 --> 00:34:44,128 I got Ray-Ban vision 672 00:34:47,168 --> 00:34:48,545 Whoo! 673 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:49,967 Whoo-hoo! 674 00:34:50,130 --> 00:34:52,804 (CROWD CHEERING) 675 00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:57,429 THOMAS: Oh, my God! - Holy shit! Fucking insane! 676 00:35:02,642 --> 00:35:05,862 THOMAS: Oh, my God. Dude, that sign fucking worked. 677 00:35:06,021 --> 00:35:07,318 You gotta have faith, son. 678 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,403 Would you like a glass of wine? 679 00:35:09,566 --> 00:35:13,196 We've got red, we've got white. You know, Cabernet, Merlot. 680 00:35:13,361 --> 00:35:14,908 Just another beer would be great. 681 00:35:15,071 --> 00:35:16,539 Uh... 682 00:35:16,990 --> 00:35:18,367 Here we are. 683 00:35:21,828 --> 00:35:23,421 Whoa. 684 00:35:23,580 --> 00:35:25,582 (GULPING) 685 00:35:30,337 --> 00:35:33,181 Wow. Okay. 686 00:35:35,258 --> 00:35:36,475 (GIRL SCREAMS) 687 00:35:36,635 --> 00:35:39,104 (CROWD YELLING AND LAUGHING) 688 00:35:39,262 --> 00:35:40,514 GIRL: J.B.! 689 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:42,353 (GIRL LAUGHING) 690 00:35:42,515 --> 00:35:45,644 How did this thing get up here? Was someone in my parents' room? 691 00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:48,859 It's a gnome. I guess he gets around. Who cares, man? 692 00:35:49,022 --> 00:35:51,024 Well, I just don't want people up here. 693 00:35:51,191 --> 00:35:53,159 Besides, it's creepy. Look at him. 694 00:35:53,318 --> 00:35:54,695 (CLATTERING) 695 00:35:54,861 --> 00:35:57,865 - J.B., what are you looking for? - To see if your dad has condoms. 696 00:35:58,031 --> 00:35:59,203 I'm working on something. 697 00:35:59,366 --> 00:36:01,915 Only thing you're working on is diabetes, you fat fuck. 698 00:36:02,077 --> 00:36:06,048 - Oh, dude, Alexis just texted me. - What? What's it say? 699 00:36:06,206 --> 00:36:08,880 "Body shots for the birthday boy right now"? 700 00:36:09,042 --> 00:36:11,841 - Dude, it's fucking on! J.B.: Check it out. 701 00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:14,722 THOMAS: J.B., seriously, what are you doing? - Your dad is a freak. 702 00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:19,057 Stop. Give me that. Costa, stop, wait. Costa, what are you doing? 703 00:36:19,219 --> 00:36:21,438 - Replying. THOMAS: Don't. Here, don't send that. 704 00:36:21,596 --> 00:36:25,021 - Sent. Too late, man. - What did you write? 705 00:36:25,725 --> 00:36:28,228 "I want your ass too, Mommy"? 706 00:36:28,395 --> 00:36:30,614 "I want your ass, Mommy"? Who talks like that? 707 00:36:30,772 --> 00:36:32,774 I do. The shit works. 708 00:36:32,941 --> 00:36:35,820 Go. Go talk to her. 709 00:36:36,903 --> 00:36:37,950 Oh. 710 00:36:38,113 --> 00:36:39,490 (SNIFFS) 711 00:36:39,656 --> 00:36:43,251 (WHITE ARROWS' "CITY BOY (KKS REMIX)" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 712 00:36:47,247 --> 00:36:49,750 (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 713 00:36:53,461 --> 00:36:56,431 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 714 00:37:02,804 --> 00:37:04,306 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 715 00:37:04,472 --> 00:37:08,272 Wait. No, wait. What are you doing? Not like that. Not like that. 716 00:37:09,728 --> 00:37:11,446 Like this. 717 00:37:14,149 --> 00:37:15,901 Put this in your mouth. 718 00:37:22,741 --> 00:37:25,745 (SHINY TOY GUNS' "LE DISKO (BOYS NOIZE)" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 719 00:37:42,343 --> 00:37:43,640 Your turn. 720 00:37:43,803 --> 00:37:46,306 Kub! House phone! House phone! 721 00:37:48,433 --> 00:37:50,856 Shit. Sorry. Um... 722 00:37:51,436 --> 00:37:55,691 Excuse me. Sorry. Look out. Sorry. Sorry. Excuse me. 723 00:37:55,857 --> 00:37:58,155 Oh, shit. Sorry. 724 00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:07,456 Dax, close that behind you. 725 00:38:07,619 --> 00:38:09,371 Shit! Dax, find the phone. 726 00:38:09,537 --> 00:38:11,130 (PHONE RINGING) 727 00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:13,667 Um, right, you know what? Fuck it, just be quiet. 728 00:38:14,250 --> 00:38:16,298 - Hello. DAD: Thomas. Are you there? 729 00:38:16,461 --> 00:38:17,929 - Dad, hey. - Where have you been? 730 00:38:18,087 --> 00:38:19,839 We've been trying your cell all night. 731 00:38:20,006 --> 00:38:23,931 - We agreed all my calls would be answered. - I know. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. 732 00:38:24,093 --> 00:38:26,562 We were out in the hot tub, so I didn't have it on me. 733 00:38:26,721 --> 00:38:29,019 I don't want to find wet towels when we get home. 734 00:38:29,182 --> 00:38:32,026 - I want to come home to a clean house. - Of course, definitely. 735 00:38:32,185 --> 00:38:35,234 - We were just calling... What was that? - Dude, look at her. 736 00:38:35,396 --> 00:38:37,364 What was that? Thomas? 737 00:38:37,524 --> 00:38:40,619 Nothing. That was Costa. You're on speakerphone. 738 00:38:40,777 --> 00:38:43,576 We just wanted to call one last time before going to bed... 739 00:38:43,738 --> 00:38:46,366 ...make sure you're all set for the night. 740 00:38:46,533 --> 00:38:48,706 Yep, all good. 741 00:38:48,868 --> 00:38:52,338 I'm actually about to go to sleep right now, so... 742 00:38:52,497 --> 00:38:55,250 Great. Well, we'll see you Sunday. Happy birthday, Thomas. 743 00:38:55,416 --> 00:38:58,010 - Thanks, Dad. Good night. - Good night. 744 00:39:06,302 --> 00:39:07,724 Holy shit. 745 00:39:07,887 --> 00:39:09,889 (CROWD CHEERING) 746 00:39:14,853 --> 00:39:16,400 Fuck, yeah! 747 00:39:16,563 --> 00:39:18,315 BOY: Oh, shit, I think that's his dad. 748 00:39:18,481 --> 00:39:21,735 What? I'm not here to bust anybody. I'm just here to party. 749 00:39:21,901 --> 00:39:23,574 GIRL: Ew! - Come on, "Ew." 750 00:39:23,736 --> 00:39:25,238 Give me a break. You got a ball? 751 00:39:25,405 --> 00:39:27,203 KIRBY: Yeah, man. - Let's do this. 752 00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:30,335 Here we go. Paxson for three. 753 00:39:30,493 --> 00:39:32,040 Whoa, ho, ho, ho! 754 00:39:32,203 --> 00:39:36,253 Up high! Come on, dude, right here. Yeah! 755 00:39:36,416 --> 00:39:38,418 Let me have that. 756 00:39:40,211 --> 00:39:43,260 (CROWD LAUGHING AND YELLING) 757 00:39:43,423 --> 00:39:46,176 (NAS' "NASTY" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 758 00:39:46,342 --> 00:39:47,389 Hey 759 00:39:49,095 --> 00:39:50,517 Nasty, kid 760 00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:52,439 Hey 761 00:39:52,599 --> 00:39:56,194 What's that, dude? Hold on, I can't fucking hear a thing you're saying. 762 00:39:57,437 --> 00:39:59,110 Speak up, E. 763 00:39:59,272 --> 00:40:02,902 What? E... What the fuck are you doing here? 764 00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:06,116 - What you gonna do about it, bitch? - You're not invited, dickhead. 765 00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:08,657 (BOYS LAUGH) 766 00:40:08,865 --> 00:40:10,583 Fucking asshole. 767 00:40:13,578 --> 00:40:14,625 Bro, what's happening? 768 00:40:14,787 --> 00:40:17,836 EVERETT: Subject is arguing with an overweight woman, most likely his wife 769 00:40:17,999 --> 00:40:20,969 She wants him to call the police. He wants to handle it himself. 770 00:40:21,127 --> 00:40:23,255 He's drinking. They're in the kitchen. 771 00:40:23,421 --> 00:40:25,799 I'm upstairs. Kids are asleep. Over. 772 00:40:25,965 --> 00:40:27,342 Wait, you're in their house? 773 00:40:27,508 --> 00:40:29,101 (STATIC CRACKLING) 774 00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:31,979 Are you fucking kidding me? E, get the fuck out now! 775 00:40:33,139 --> 00:40:35,312 Negative. I'm a ghost. Out. 776 00:40:35,725 --> 00:40:38,353 What the fuck am I gonna do with this kid? 777 00:40:38,519 --> 00:40:39,987 E! E! 778 00:40:40,146 --> 00:40:42,820 (BONDE DO ROLE'S "MARINA DO BAIRRO" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 779 00:40:48,821 --> 00:40:51,825 (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 780 00:41:09,717 --> 00:41:12,436 KIRBY: Are you having fun? THOMAS: Yeah, I'm having a good time. 781 00:41:12,595 --> 00:41:14,518 KIRBY: It's pretty fucking crazy. 782 00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:19,356 Oh, my God. 783 00:41:19,519 --> 00:41:21,897 What was wrong with me? 784 00:41:22,063 --> 00:41:25,033 Wow, this was before Costa. 785 00:41:25,191 --> 00:41:27,660 Yeah, the good old days. 786 00:41:27,819 --> 00:41:30,447 Yeah, back when you were still in the crew, right? 787 00:41:32,115 --> 00:41:33,958 You used to be so cute. What happened? 788 00:41:34,117 --> 00:41:35,369 Shut the fuck up. 789 00:41:35,952 --> 00:41:37,545 Still looks like me. 790 00:41:43,751 --> 00:41:46,880 Was that weird? I'm sorry. Shit, that was weird, wasn't it? 791 00:41:47,046 --> 00:41:49,890 - No, it... It was a little weird. Heh. - Fuck. Um... 792 00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:55,312 (CROWD BOOING NEARBY) 793 00:41:55,471 --> 00:41:57,394 COSTA: Cops on the way. Get out, everybody! Now! 794 00:41:57,557 --> 00:42:00,060 Everybody in the back! Get in the back now! 795 00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:03,856 What, are you over there? Get in the back! Cops are coming! Hurry, let's move! 796 00:42:04,022 --> 00:42:08,118 Move it, move it! Let's go! Hurry up! Cops are coming! Everybody in the back! 797 00:42:08,276 --> 00:42:10,904 THOMAS: Costa. Hey, Costa. 798 00:42:11,070 --> 00:42:12,492 COSTA: Everybody get in the back! 799 00:42:12,655 --> 00:42:13,907 THOMAS: Hey, what's going on? 800 00:42:14,073 --> 00:42:17,418 COSTA: The cops are on their way right now! THOMAS: Oh, shit. 801 00:42:17,577 --> 00:42:22,128 Get in the back now! Everybody move! Let's go! 802 00:42:23,416 --> 00:42:25,669 Keep going! Get in the back now! 803 00:42:26,127 --> 00:42:28,129 TYLER: Get out, police. EVERETT: They're on their way now. 804 00:42:28,296 --> 00:42:30,845 THOMAS: How do you know that? COSTA: Don't ask. My boy's in deep. 805 00:42:31,007 --> 00:42:33,305 Gotta clear this fucking beer out of here. 806 00:42:33,468 --> 00:42:35,266 Damn it. 807 00:42:36,095 --> 00:42:38,974 - Is that everything? THOMAS: Yeah. I got your chalice. 808 00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:03,088 Law enforcement currently on scene. 809 00:43:03,247 --> 00:43:06,126 Standing down, for now. 810 00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:17,395 - I don't hear anything. - No, it doesn't sound like a party. 811 00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:21,315 Not a party that's still going, anyway. 812 00:43:23,768 --> 00:43:25,111 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 813 00:43:29,982 --> 00:43:31,655 Here they come. 814 00:43:31,818 --> 00:43:34,241 - Evening, officers. - Fellas having a party? 815 00:43:34,403 --> 00:43:37,532 Yeah, we're having a small little birthday gathering for my friend. 816 00:43:37,698 --> 00:43:40,326 I'm the friend, my birthday. 817 00:43:40,493 --> 00:43:42,461 Lot of cars for a small party. 818 00:43:42,620 --> 00:43:45,624 Shh. 819 00:43:46,916 --> 00:43:48,884 Shh. 820 00:43:49,293 --> 00:43:51,341 (CROWD MURMURING) 821 00:43:54,465 --> 00:43:56,308 The house? Whose is it? 822 00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:58,219 Is there a problem here, officers? 823 00:43:58,386 --> 00:44:00,354 We have a noise complaint. 824 00:44:00,513 --> 00:44:03,232 - You mind if we look around? - I'd prefer if you didn't. 825 00:44:03,391 --> 00:44:06,235 - We're not asking. - Excuse me, I'm not a lawyer or anything. 826 00:44:06,394 --> 00:44:08,522 Doesn't the law state that you cannot enter... 827 00:44:08,688 --> 00:44:10,941 ...through a private residence without permission? 828 00:44:12,191 --> 00:44:14,489 Is there an adult here we might speak with? 829 00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:17,405 You're speaking with one. I'm 18 and a half years old, sir. 830 00:44:17,572 --> 00:44:21,202 And, of course, in my culture I've been a man since my 13th birthday. 831 00:44:21,367 --> 00:44:23,711 So you're telling us we cannot come in? 832 00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:26,544 With all due respect, technically the law says you cannot. 833 00:44:26,706 --> 00:44:28,800 But what we're saying is, you may not. 834 00:44:28,958 --> 00:44:32,633 I guess both are true. The law says you cannot because we say you may not. 835 00:44:32,795 --> 00:44:36,470 All right, all right. Props on the "can/may" bullshit. Very good. 836 00:44:36,632 --> 00:44:38,054 No doubt. Thank you, sir. 837 00:44:38,217 --> 00:44:41,517 OFFICER 1: Just keep the noise down to a minimum, okay? 838 00:44:41,679 --> 00:44:43,226 Yes, sir. Of course. 839 00:44:43,723 --> 00:44:46,397 Don't make us come back. You know what I mean? 840 00:44:46,559 --> 00:44:49,153 - Yeah. - Uh-huh. Of course. 841 00:44:49,312 --> 00:44:50,404 - Good night. - Officers. 842 00:44:50,563 --> 00:44:51,940 Night. 843 00:44:52,815 --> 00:44:56,911 "Technically the law states..." Damn Internet. 844 00:44:57,278 --> 00:44:59,701 OFFICER 2: Everybody's a fucking attorney. 845 00:45:00,907 --> 00:45:02,750 (ENGINE STARTS) 846 00:45:12,585 --> 00:45:15,589 COSTA: Fuck you. - Dude, Costa. Seriously? 847 00:45:15,755 --> 00:45:16,847 - Fuck you. - Come inside. 848 00:45:17,006 --> 00:45:19,600 Just come inside. Just forget about it. 849 00:45:19,759 --> 00:45:21,432 (CROWD MURMURING AND CHUCKLING) 850 00:45:30,937 --> 00:45:33,281 To the break of dawn, yo! 851 00:45:33,439 --> 00:45:35,191 (ALL CHEERING) 852 00:45:35,358 --> 00:45:39,033 (KID CUDI'S "PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS (STEVE AOKI REMIX)" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 853 00:45:44,825 --> 00:45:46,327 (INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) 854 00:47:02,028 --> 00:47:04,372 COSTA: Holy shit! THOMAS: What the fuck are you doing? 855 00:47:06,365 --> 00:47:10,336 Thomas, my cousin can replace the window, no problem. It's all good, man. I promise. 856 00:47:23,215 --> 00:47:26,845 - Where did you get this? It's my mom's. - Come on, bro. I'm not gonna break it. 857 00:47:29,180 --> 00:47:31,148 (SCREAMING) 858 00:47:32,892 --> 00:47:34,394 (INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) 859 00:47:36,896 --> 00:47:38,898 Throw it in here, nice and low. 860 00:47:39,065 --> 00:47:40,282 (SCREAMING) 861 00:47:50,326 --> 00:47:51,953 (ALL SCREAMING) 862 00:47:52,119 --> 00:47:53,245 GIRL: They're pills! 863 00:47:53,412 --> 00:47:55,085 BOY: It's Ecstasy, bro! 864 00:47:55,247 --> 00:47:57,249 (ALL CLAMORING) 865 00:48:02,088 --> 00:48:03,260 (INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) 866 00:48:07,635 --> 00:48:09,387 You heard about this on Craigslist? 867 00:48:09,553 --> 00:48:12,432 Craigslist, yeah. It's on the thing, on the page, right there. 868 00:48:12,598 --> 00:48:14,817 J.B.: Whoa, we are so fucked. 869 00:48:14,975 --> 00:48:17,273 COSTA: Relax, man. J.B.: We need to tell Thomas. 870 00:48:17,436 --> 00:48:20,189 COSTA: T-Rick's so burned out, he probably forgot about it already. 871 00:48:20,356 --> 00:48:21,528 J.B.: This is bad. 872 00:48:22,483 --> 00:48:25,737 Mom, Dad, it's me, Thomas. 873 00:48:25,903 --> 00:48:27,120 Um... 874 00:48:27,279 --> 00:48:29,873 I'm drunk. I mean, that's not an excuse. 875 00:48:30,032 --> 00:48:35,129 Hopefully we'll meet again, so I can explain things. 876 00:48:35,788 --> 00:48:37,540 I don't really have an explanation... 877 00:48:37,706 --> 00:48:40,425 other than fucking Costa made me do it. So... 878 00:48:41,127 --> 00:48:42,128 (BANGING ON DOOR) 879 00:48:42,294 --> 00:48:43,967 - Fuck off! COSTA: Dude, it's us. 880 00:48:44,130 --> 00:48:45,473 THOMAS: I know. 881 00:48:47,258 --> 00:48:49,727 COSTA: What are you doing in here? The whole party's outside. 882 00:48:49,885 --> 00:48:51,432 Have you seen my fucking house? 883 00:48:51,595 --> 00:48:54,144 COSTA: We have a whole day to fix this place up. It's all good. 884 00:48:54,306 --> 00:48:59,153 No, it's not all good, okay? I mean, what about this? What if my parents see it? 885 00:48:59,311 --> 00:49:02,110 Nobody's gonna see this shit but us. I promise. 886 00:49:03,983 --> 00:49:06,077 Where did all these people even come from? 887 00:49:06,235 --> 00:49:07,908 You know a guy down there told me... 888 00:49:08,070 --> 00:49:11,074 ...he found out about the party on fucking Craigslist? 889 00:49:12,032 --> 00:49:14,330 My dad met my stepmom on Craigslist. 890 00:49:14,493 --> 00:49:16,666 So you put my address on the fucking Internet? 891 00:49:16,829 --> 00:49:19,548 - Well, not just the Internet. - Shut the fuck up, J.B.! 892 00:49:19,707 --> 00:49:21,584 Wait, what the fuck is he talking about? 893 00:49:21,750 --> 00:49:25,800 I had Jesse Marco put out an e-mail blast and I may have called a radio station or two. 894 00:49:25,963 --> 00:49:27,260 You motherfuckers! 895 00:49:27,423 --> 00:49:29,676 COSTA: You were so nervous about people not showing up. 896 00:49:29,842 --> 00:49:33,096 Dude, people are spilling shit, breaking shit, probably stealing shit. 897 00:49:33,262 --> 00:49:34,935 It's out of control. 898 00:49:35,097 --> 00:49:38,192 I wasn't nervous. I wanted the party to be big enough to be cool. 899 00:49:38,350 --> 00:49:41,695 - Dude, look, back in Queens... - I'm fucking sick of hearing about Queens. 900 00:49:41,854 --> 00:49:44,528 We get it. Queens is awesome. We're pussies. I don't fucking care. 901 00:49:44,690 --> 00:49:46,317 (OVER SPEAKERS) I'm doin' me 902 00:49:46,484 --> 00:49:50,330 I'm livin' life right now, man And this what I'm gonna do 903 00:49:50,863 --> 00:49:52,740 COSTA: Whatever happens, we can make this right. 904 00:49:52,907 --> 00:49:56,127 I'll fix this whole house myself if I have to. 905 00:49:56,285 --> 00:49:59,789 Your parents don't even come home till Sunday. You just need to relax, man. 906 00:49:59,955 --> 00:50:03,004 - You want a massage, bro? - No, no. Just, stop. 907 00:50:03,167 --> 00:50:05,135 This is my favorite song, guys. 908 00:50:05,294 --> 00:50:07,217 (OVER SPEAKERS) But my body 909 00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:09,097 My body's 910 00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:12,009 I can't believe, like, you guys just did this to me. 911 00:50:12,176 --> 00:50:14,053 J.B.: We did this for you. 912 00:50:15,179 --> 00:50:18,729 Look, man, I know you're not a drug guy, and I respect that about you. 913 00:50:18,891 --> 00:50:21,394 - But right now, this is what you need. THOMAS: What is it? 914 00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:25,064 COSTA: It's Ecstasy. It'll put the brakes on your little freak-out. Just take it. 915 00:50:25,231 --> 00:50:27,450 (R. KELLY'S "BUMP N' GRIND" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 916 00:50:27,608 --> 00:50:30,578 All right. This won't totally, like, fuck me up, will it? 917 00:50:30,736 --> 00:50:33,990 Of course it will, dude. That's the whole point. 918 00:50:35,533 --> 00:50:36,830 Here. 919 00:50:37,910 --> 00:50:40,504 J.B.: Hey. - You get half of one. 920 00:50:41,747 --> 00:50:44,250 Baby 921 00:50:44,458 --> 00:50:46,426 THOMAS: All right, just give me like 10 minutes. 922 00:50:46,585 --> 00:50:47,632 (GROANS) 923 00:50:47,795 --> 00:50:49,593 COSTA: No fucking way, man! 924 00:50:50,005 --> 00:50:52,258 THOMAS: Ow! Get off me. COSTA: This is your night. 925 00:50:52,424 --> 00:50:56,770 Cut the music. Cut it. How's everybody doing? It's your host, Costa. 926 00:50:56,929 --> 00:50:59,773 I'm gonna bring up my best friends, Thomas and J.B. 927 00:50:59,932 --> 00:51:01,605 Get your asses up here right now. 928 00:51:01,767 --> 00:51:03,485 Come on, move your asses. 929 00:51:04,019 --> 00:51:05,771 Come on, J.B., move your fat ass. 930 00:51:05,938 --> 00:51:09,784 The reason you guys are here tonight is because it's Thomas Kub's birthday. 931 00:51:09,942 --> 00:51:14,038 And we're gonna sing a little "Happy Birthday" for him. One, two, three. 932 00:51:14,446 --> 00:51:18,917 ALL (SINGING): Happy birthday to you 933 00:51:19,076 --> 00:51:23,798 Happy birthday to you 934 00:51:23,956 --> 00:51:29,258 Happy birthday dear Thomas 935 00:51:29,962 --> 00:51:33,637 Happy birthday to you 936 00:51:33,799 --> 00:51:35,847 (ALL CHEERING) 937 00:51:36,010 --> 00:51:38,889 COSTA: Thanks, everybody, for coming. Let's get the music rocking! 938 00:51:40,222 --> 00:51:41,314 DUDE: Wait up. Wait, wait. 939 00:51:41,473 --> 00:51:46,149 Wait up, wait up. I wanted to do a birthday song too, if I can, Thomas. Is that cool? 940 00:51:46,312 --> 00:51:47,905 (CROWD CHEERS) 941 00:51:48,063 --> 00:51:49,610 THOMAS: It's all right with me, brother. 942 00:51:49,773 --> 00:51:53,653 Will you drop a beat so I can do a birthday rap? Ahem. 943 00:51:55,779 --> 00:51:57,827 (DJ PLAYING HIP HOP BEAT) 944 00:51:59,408 --> 00:52:01,285 (RAPPING) Yeah Hey, Thomas 945 00:52:01,452 --> 00:52:05,423 Happy birthday You can suck my dick if you thirsty 946 00:52:05,581 --> 00:52:09,506 I'm glad your folks are on vacation I just raided the fridge 947 00:52:09,668 --> 00:52:11,341 And shit in the kitchen 948 00:52:11,503 --> 00:52:13,972 Jew Pesci, go back to New York 949 00:52:14,131 --> 00:52:16,850 You look like smorgasbord of dorks 950 00:52:17,009 --> 00:52:19,182 Yeah, and I bet you got baby dick 951 00:52:19,345 --> 00:52:21,848 The kind that got many AIDS and shit 952 00:52:22,014 --> 00:52:25,109 And J.B., what's up? You wanna suck my dick 953 00:52:25,267 --> 00:52:28,191 In the back of your dad's truck You fat fuck 954 00:52:28,354 --> 00:52:31,904 You tub of love I'm gonna put you in the back of the truck 955 00:52:32,066 --> 00:52:34,444 And give you a back tug Yeah 956 00:52:34,610 --> 00:52:35,702 (CROWD BOOS) 957 00:52:35,861 --> 00:52:37,033 That's a penis hand job 958 00:52:37,196 --> 00:52:40,541 You look like a little gremlin And a teddy bear had a baby 959 00:52:40,741 --> 00:52:44,837 What? Fuck you guys then, man. You all can suck my dick. 960 00:52:44,995 --> 00:52:46,292 Fuck off. 961 00:52:46,747 --> 00:52:48,670 Sorry about that, everybody, that dude's whack. 962 00:52:48,832 --> 00:52:51,927 Get this shit rolling again. Come on DJ Jesse Marco. Run it! 963 00:52:52,461 --> 00:52:54,509 (OVER SPEAKERS) Let's fucking lose it 964 00:52:54,672 --> 00:52:59,269 Get out of your mind 965 00:52:59,426 --> 00:53:02,270 Get out of your mind Fuck that shit 966 00:53:02,429 --> 00:53:06,229 Fuck, yeah! What's up in this bitch? Fuckers. 967 00:53:06,392 --> 00:53:08,895 Hey, baby, what's up? Want some of this? 968 00:53:09,061 --> 00:53:12,110 GIRL: Yeah! LITTLE PERSON: The fuck you guys looking at? 969 00:53:12,898 --> 00:53:14,900 CROWD: Whoa! 970 00:53:15,067 --> 00:53:17,490 - You got something to say? - Buddy, what...? What the... 971 00:53:17,653 --> 00:53:19,621 (CROWD YELLING) 972 00:53:23,659 --> 00:53:26,253 LITTLE PERSON: Let me go! Goddamn it! 973 00:53:26,620 --> 00:53:28,247 Don't shut that... 974 00:53:28,414 --> 00:53:31,258 Scuffin' shell-toes Is that nigga dead? 975 00:53:31,417 --> 00:53:33,465 Hey, have you seen Thomas? 976 00:53:33,627 --> 00:53:35,300 We're looking for him. 977 00:53:35,462 --> 00:53:38,682 Well, when you find him, can you tell him I've got something for him? 978 00:53:39,425 --> 00:53:40,677 Jump in. 979 00:53:40,843 --> 00:53:43,141 THOMAS: You're breaking the rules, you know. 980 00:53:45,139 --> 00:53:46,766 Ew. Heh. 981 00:53:46,932 --> 00:53:49,310 Why won't you get in with me? 982 00:53:49,476 --> 00:53:53,071 It's just, like, I already went swimming once against my will. 983 00:53:54,690 --> 00:53:56,363 Wetness. 984 00:53:56,734 --> 00:53:58,828 Ha, ha. Whoa. 985 00:53:58,986 --> 00:54:00,909 KIRBY: So, Thomas, are you having fun? 986 00:54:02,072 --> 00:54:03,289 - No. - Not at all? 987 00:54:03,449 --> 00:54:06,123 - Yes. - You look pretty fucked up. 988 00:54:06,285 --> 00:54:08,788 - I'm a little fucked up. - But you look good. 989 00:54:08,954 --> 00:54:11,707 - Have you gotten lucky at all? - I'm pretty lucky right now. 990 00:54:11,874 --> 00:54:13,217 Slow down, dude. 991 00:54:13,375 --> 00:54:15,218 THOMAS: Fine. Give me that. 992 00:54:15,377 --> 00:54:17,721 - Are you having fun at this party? - So much fun. 993 00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:21,555 It's just that it's a small get-together. It should be basically chill. 994 00:54:21,717 --> 00:54:24,891 THOMAS: Look how chill this is. KIRBY: It's no big deal. I mean, there's two DJ's. 995 00:54:25,053 --> 00:54:28,227 That's not a big deal, right? When do your parents get home? 996 00:54:28,390 --> 00:54:29,812 I don't know. 997 00:54:30,726 --> 00:54:32,649 KIRBY: Thomas? Thomas. Eyes up here. 998 00:54:32,811 --> 00:54:35,314 THOMAS: You have great knees. KIRBY: Thanks. 999 00:54:35,481 --> 00:54:37,904 People don't tell you that enough, Kirby. 1000 00:54:38,150 --> 00:54:39,527 COSTA: J.B., get your fat ass up! 1001 00:54:39,693 --> 00:54:42,867 There's a midget in the oven. Let's go. Come on. 1002 00:54:43,030 --> 00:54:44,703 KIRBY: What? THOMAS: What? What did he say? 1003 00:54:44,865 --> 00:54:46,162 I heard, "midget in oven." 1004 00:54:46,325 --> 00:54:48,623 (BANGING) 1005 00:54:49,620 --> 00:54:52,419 COSTA: Move the fuck out of the way! 1006 00:54:52,581 --> 00:54:54,049 Move the fuck out of the way! 1007 00:54:54,208 --> 00:54:57,178 - I'm so sorry, sir. I'm so sor... - Fuck! 1008 00:54:57,336 --> 00:54:59,134 Hey, wrong guy. Wrong guy. 1009 00:54:59,296 --> 00:55:02,391 - My God. Jesus Christ. DAX: No. 1010 00:55:02,549 --> 00:55:08,727 LITTLE PERSON: Motherfucker! Motherfuckers! You fucking cunt! 1011 00:55:11,683 --> 00:55:13,401 Why the balls, man? 1012 00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:16,279 - Anywhere but the fucking balls. - Think about it. 1013 00:55:16,438 --> 00:55:19,442 Our balls are where his eyes are. 1014 00:55:22,027 --> 00:55:23,904 Yo, yo, yo, hey! 1015 00:55:24,071 --> 00:55:28,201 I just heard a rumor that all your balls got attacked by a midget. Is it true? 1016 00:55:28,367 --> 00:55:31,462 Please, please, just tell me it is. I'm praying it fucking is. 1017 00:55:31,620 --> 00:55:34,214 Dude, I can't believe I missed it. 1018 00:55:35,791 --> 00:55:38,544 COSTA: Look at your fucking pupils. 1019 00:55:42,381 --> 00:55:44,224 - I love you guys. J.B.: Ha, ha. 1020 00:55:44,383 --> 00:55:45,805 No, seriously. 1021 00:55:45,968 --> 00:55:48,721 Look, I realize I can be, like, a huge dick sometimes... 1022 00:55:48,887 --> 00:55:50,730 ...and I'm really sorry for that. 1023 00:55:50,889 --> 00:55:53,563 - It's okay. - No, it's not. 1024 00:55:54,810 --> 00:55:59,236 J.B., I'm sorry for buying you a bra on your birthday. That wasn't cool. 1025 00:55:59,398 --> 00:56:01,321 It wasn't cool, man. 1026 00:56:01,483 --> 00:56:04,612 And I'm sorry for all the times I called you Fat Fuck. 1027 00:56:04,778 --> 00:56:06,280 J.B.: Mm. 1028 00:56:06,446 --> 00:56:09,074 - Chubby Bitch. - Yeah. 1029 00:56:09,241 --> 00:56:11,915 - Fudgy the Whale. - Okay. 1030 00:56:12,077 --> 00:56:14,671 I'm sorry for that time at your brother's Bar Mitzvah... 1031 00:56:14,830 --> 00:56:18,300 ...where I told everyone you look like Rosie O'Donnell, because you don't. 1032 00:56:18,458 --> 00:56:20,552 - I don't. - Hey, guys? 1033 00:56:20,711 --> 00:56:22,429 - What? - Um... 1034 00:56:23,088 --> 00:56:25,216 I hooked up with Kirby. 1035 00:56:26,842 --> 00:56:29,345 I'm, like, really into her. 1036 00:56:31,930 --> 00:56:35,184 Okay, seriously, Thomas, that's, you know, cool and all. 1037 00:56:35,350 --> 00:56:38,274 But she's kind of always been around. 1038 00:56:38,437 --> 00:56:40,986 It's like hooking up with J.B. 1039 00:56:41,648 --> 00:56:43,116 But her tits are smaller. 1040 00:56:43,275 --> 00:56:45,869 - Hey. - I'm just saying. 1041 00:56:46,028 --> 00:56:48,656 Kirby's sort of like one of us. 1042 00:56:48,822 --> 00:56:51,792 You know, tonight's about the girls we never had a shot at. 1043 00:56:51,950 --> 00:56:55,580 Tonight's about changing the game. 1044 00:56:55,746 --> 00:56:58,295 (INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) 1045 00:59:07,085 --> 00:59:08,507 (ALL CHEERING) 1046 00:59:08,670 --> 00:59:10,718 (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 1047 00:59:10,881 --> 00:59:12,303 (OVER SPEAKERS) Heads will roll 1048 00:59:12,466 --> 00:59:15,811 Heads will roll 1049 00:59:17,179 --> 00:59:18,772 It's crazy out there. 1050 00:59:18,930 --> 00:59:20,603 I haven't seen Tyler in an hour. 1051 00:59:25,312 --> 00:59:27,360 We were slightly out of our league on this mission. 1052 00:59:27,522 --> 00:59:28,865 (DOOR OPENS) 1053 00:59:32,903 --> 00:59:34,746 - Cool room. THOMAS: Thanks. 1054 00:59:34,905 --> 00:59:35,906 (DOOR CLOSES) 1055 00:59:36,073 --> 00:59:37,700 It's a bit messy right now. 1056 00:59:39,034 --> 00:59:40,877 Here, let me... 1057 00:59:42,996 --> 00:59:45,499 (SMALL BLACK'S "DESPICABLE DOGS (WASHED OUT REMIX)" PLAYING) 1058 00:59:45,665 --> 00:59:47,884 ALEXIS: So it's your birthday. 1059 00:59:48,043 --> 00:59:51,047 THOMAS: Yeah, it's my birthday. 1060 01:00:20,408 --> 01:00:21,955 Oh. 1061 01:00:24,579 --> 01:00:27,002 I know where they build 'em 1062 01:00:27,165 --> 01:00:30,635 I know where they're selling long 1063 01:00:34,589 --> 01:00:38,765 Wider than the worst ones Wider than the one I know 1064 01:00:44,558 --> 01:00:50,486 Smoke machine begins to blow 1065 01:00:54,734 --> 01:01:00,787 Lines of water on the ﬂoor 1066 01:01:04,744 --> 01:01:10,751 I know you watch 'em I know that you want no more 1067 01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:21,058 Maybe in the factory Maybe in the actual world 1068 01:01:23,388 --> 01:01:24,435 (DOOR OPENS) 1069 01:01:24,598 --> 01:01:26,726 Oh, my God. Thomas? 1070 01:01:26,892 --> 01:01:28,269 THOMAS: Kirby. 1071 01:01:28,435 --> 01:01:30,278 KIRBY: Fuck off. - I'm sorry. Hey, hey, Kirby... 1072 01:01:30,437 --> 01:01:32,860 Thomas, what the fuck? 1073 01:01:33,607 --> 01:01:35,359 Asshole. 1074 01:01:38,278 --> 01:01:39,279 (DOOR CREAKS) 1075 01:01:39,446 --> 01:01:42,620 EVERETT: Would you like a hand with that? - How long have you been in there? 1076 01:01:42,782 --> 01:01:44,455 - Fucking shit! - What are you doing? 1077 01:01:44,618 --> 01:01:46,712 (FIREWORKS WHISTLING) 1078 01:01:46,870 --> 01:01:49,544 (THE KILLS' "CHEAP AND CHEERFUL (SEBASTIAN REMIX)" PLAYING) 1079 01:01:56,296 --> 01:01:57,343 THOMAS: Kirby! 1080 01:01:58,131 --> 01:01:59,303 Kirby! 1081 01:01:59,466 --> 01:02:01,139 (ENGINE REWING) 1082 01:02:01,301 --> 01:02:03,599 (PEOPLE SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) 1083 01:02:05,889 --> 01:02:07,891 (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 1084 01:02:19,319 --> 01:02:21,287 (CHEERING) 1085 01:02:30,288 --> 01:02:32,256 (INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) 1086 01:02:50,058 --> 01:02:52,231 DAX: Alexis, are you having a good time? 1087 01:02:52,394 --> 01:02:53,691 No. I'm leaving. 1088 01:02:56,064 --> 01:02:58,066 (INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) 1089 01:03:06,658 --> 01:03:08,660 (PHONE RINGING) 1090 01:03:11,329 --> 01:03:14,879 DAD (ON RECORDING): Hi. You've reached the Kub residence. Please, leave a message. 1091 01:03:15,041 --> 01:03:17,214 DAD (OVER PHONE): Thomas, it's me again. THOMAS: I'm fucked, dude. 1092 01:03:17,377 --> 01:03:21,678 I just got another call. I'm sure the neighbors are exaggerating. 1093 01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:24,389 - Please call me. - Fuck. 1094 01:03:26,011 --> 01:03:27,854 (PHONE RINGING) 1095 01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:34,565 (OVER SPEAKERS) Pretty girls, sunshine in the air 1096 01:03:34,811 --> 01:03:38,361 Perfume everywhere 1097 01:03:38,690 --> 01:03:42,411 Bass to the ﬂoor, right now, what's up A lime to a lemon 1098 01:03:42,569 --> 01:03:46,790 Remind you of the sky when I'm fucking And we on cloud nine for that minute 1099 01:03:47,073 --> 01:03:48,996 Your style and your physique 1100 01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:52,545 And I ain't tiyin' to critique But you deserve a good drink, so, what's up? 1101 01:03:52,704 --> 01:03:54,706 What you sippio' on? It's no problem 1102 01:03:54,873 --> 01:03:57,922 Black and gold bottles Like I'm pro-New Orleans 1103 01:03:58,084 --> 01:04:03,136 But, shorty, I'm far from a saint But I got two AmEx's that look the same way 1104 01:04:03,298 --> 01:04:08,225 Wale, D.C., that's me, huh My Prada say Prada and they Prada say Fila 1105 01:04:08,386 --> 01:04:10,889 I ain't gotta tell you They know about me, huh 1106 01:04:11,056 --> 01:04:13,650 Come to D. C. and I can make you a believer 1107 01:04:13,808 --> 01:04:16,561 See, baby, I'm a leader Day away from a Libra 1108 01:04:16,728 --> 01:04:19,231 I ain't tryin' to lead you wrong, sugar I need you 1109 01:04:19,397 --> 01:04:21,695 So would you please listen To what I'm gonna need from you 1110 01:04:21,858 --> 01:04:24,156 Live for tonight Before tomorrow's amnesia 1111 01:04:24,319 --> 01:04:29,041 Pretty girls I ask them do they smoke 1112 01:04:29,908 --> 01:04:31,910 COSTA: Holy shit! 1113 01:04:32,911 --> 01:04:34,538 It's fucking insane. 1114 01:04:34,704 --> 01:04:36,706 (ALL CHEERING) 1115 01:04:42,879 --> 01:04:45,302 (ALL CHATTERING) 1116 01:04:51,596 --> 01:04:55,601 Thomas, look at what we did. Epic. 1117 01:04:58,895 --> 01:05:01,444 Is this big enough to be cool? 1118 01:05:02,732 --> 01:05:04,154 Game changer. 1119 01:05:04,317 --> 01:05:05,944 (HELICOPTER WHIRRING) 1120 01:05:06,111 --> 01:05:07,784 Holy shit, it's the news. 1121 01:05:09,489 --> 01:05:10,706 (CROWD CHEERING) 1122 01:05:15,370 --> 01:05:16,462 BOY: Dude, that's Thomas! 1123 01:05:16,621 --> 01:05:19,625 ALL (CHANTING): Thomas! Thomas! Thomas! 1124 01:05:19,791 --> 01:05:21,714 Are you hearing this? 1125 01:05:21,876 --> 01:05:26,598 Thomas! Thomas! Thomas! 1126 01:05:26,756 --> 01:05:28,474 COSTA: This is your fucking party, man. 1127 01:05:29,426 --> 01:05:31,645 You're right, dude. I needed this. 1128 01:05:35,807 --> 01:05:37,024 COSTA: Fuck, yeah! 1129 01:05:40,687 --> 01:05:42,689 (CHANTING CONTINUES) 1130 01:05:42,856 --> 01:05:44,904 (CROWD CHEERING) 1131 01:05:45,066 --> 01:05:48,821 Look at me now, bitches! My party is the shit! 1132 01:05:49,404 --> 01:05:52,032 MY Party is legendary! 1133 01:05:54,534 --> 01:05:57,003 ALL (CHANTING): Thomas! Thomas! Thomas! 1134 01:05:57,162 --> 01:05:58,835 - Watch this. J.B.: Watch what? 1135 01:05:58,997 --> 01:06:03,002 COSTA: Are you kidding me? THOMAS: Hey, all you bitches. Aah! 1136 01:06:03,168 --> 01:06:04,670 (ALL CHEERING) 1137 01:06:04,836 --> 01:06:07,259 Know me from the you know Boss in my Hugo 1138 01:06:10,216 --> 01:06:12,685 COSTA: Thomas, you crazy motherfucker! I love you! 1139 01:06:16,055 --> 01:06:20,526 ALL (CHANTING): Jump! Jump! Jump! 1140 01:06:20,685 --> 01:06:23,438 Fuck that shit. I'm not jumping. Fuck that. 1141 01:06:23,855 --> 01:06:26,233 Jump! Jump! Jump! 1142 01:06:29,486 --> 01:06:31,989 To my family members, all my friends on Facebook... 1143 01:06:32,155 --> 01:06:33,702 COSTA: What? - It's been a great ride. 1144 01:06:33,865 --> 01:06:36,960 - Costa, hold on to these. - J.B., don't do it, man. 1145 01:06:37,118 --> 01:06:38,870 - You're way too fat. - Shut up. 1146 01:06:45,502 --> 01:06:46,879 THOMAS: Yeah! 1147 01:06:47,045 --> 01:06:49,047 (CHANTING CONTINUES) 1148 01:06:51,132 --> 01:06:53,305 (CHEERING) 1149 01:06:54,844 --> 01:06:56,846 J.B.: Oh, my God! 1150 01:06:57,055 --> 01:06:58,056 (J.B. SCREAMS) 1151 01:06:58,264 --> 01:06:59,561 (CROWD GROANS) 1152 01:06:59,724 --> 01:07:01,977 COSTA: J.B., you all right, man? 1153 01:07:02,685 --> 01:07:05,063 - J.B., you all right? J.B.: Ha-ha-ha! 1154 01:07:05,230 --> 01:07:07,574 (ALL CHEERING) 1155 01:07:16,074 --> 01:07:17,166 This is Falcon One. 1156 01:07:17,325 --> 01:07:20,295 I was just attacked by this really sexy woman. 1157 01:07:20,453 --> 01:07:23,081 We've lost all control. The house was breached hours ago. 1158 01:07:23,248 --> 01:07:24,750 Chaos has spread to the streets. 1159 01:07:24,916 --> 01:07:27,669 And the police are returning in force. We're clearly outnumbered. 1160 01:07:27,835 --> 01:07:29,337 (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 1161 01:07:30,046 --> 01:07:31,719 (PEOPLE YELLING) 1162 01:07:36,594 --> 01:07:37,720 God, help us. 1163 01:07:37,887 --> 01:07:39,889 (SIRENS WAILING) 1164 01:07:43,309 --> 01:07:44,902 BOY: Assholes! 1165 01:07:46,938 --> 01:07:48,940 (CROWD BOOING AND SHOUTING) 1166 01:07:53,444 --> 01:07:57,369 ALL (CHANTING): Cops go home! Cops go home! Cops go home! 1167 01:07:57,532 --> 01:07:59,455 OFFICER (OVER MEGAPHONE): This is the police. 1168 01:07:59,617 --> 01:08:03,292 Disperse peacefully and immediately or you will be subject to arrest. 1169 01:08:03,454 --> 01:08:04,831 (CHANTING CONTINUES) 1170 01:08:08,376 --> 01:08:09,468 (CHUCKLING) 1171 01:08:09,627 --> 01:08:11,174 (BANGING) 1172 01:08:14,215 --> 01:08:15,967 OFFICER: In need of immediate assistance. 1173 01:08:18,052 --> 01:08:19,269 Drive, drive, drive! 1174 01:08:21,931 --> 01:08:24,229 Requesting backup, all units... 1175 01:08:24,475 --> 01:08:26,819 (ALL SHOUTING AND CHEERING) 1176 01:08:29,314 --> 01:08:30,816 (YELLING) 1177 01:08:41,993 --> 01:08:43,040 COSTA: Holy shit! 1178 01:08:43,202 --> 01:08:45,125 I jumped off the house on purpose. 1179 01:08:46,581 --> 01:08:48,834 (PEOPLE SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) 1180 01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:51,173 REPORTER 1 (ON TV): Chaos has broken out in the Southland... 1181 01:08:51,336 --> 01:08:55,887 ...where this normally quiet residential street has turned into anarchy. 1182 01:08:57,091 --> 01:08:59,014 (ALL CHEERING) 1183 01:09:05,516 --> 01:09:08,861 I'm joined now by Captain Reesman of the Police Department. 1184 01:09:09,020 --> 01:09:12,149 We'll have to let this thing burn out before we even think about moving back in. 1185 01:09:12,315 --> 01:09:14,363 (ALL CHEERING) 1186 01:10:01,906 --> 01:10:04,034 Good evening, uh, this is... This is Dax. 1187 01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:07,044 (CRASHING & WOMAN MOANING) 1188 01:10:07,954 --> 01:10:10,423 I'm inside the belly of the beast. 1189 01:10:10,873 --> 01:10:13,296 I don't have words for some of the things I've seen. 1190 01:10:13,459 --> 01:10:17,214 Pfft. A lot of people don't know this simple fact, but this is actually... 1191 01:10:17,380 --> 01:10:20,634 it's the first party I've ever attended and you... 1192 01:10:20,800 --> 01:10:24,555 Perhaps tonight is just business as usual, but something tells me, no, it's not. 1193 01:10:27,890 --> 01:10:28,937 (GIRL SCREAMS) 1194 01:10:30,685 --> 01:10:32,779 THOMAS: Shit, that's my dad's car. J.B.: Shit, dude. 1195 01:10:32,979 --> 01:10:34,026 (HORN HONKS) 1196 01:10:34,188 --> 01:10:35,280 THOMAS: Oh, shit. 1197 01:10:41,863 --> 01:10:43,911 Oh, shit! 1198 01:10:55,418 --> 01:10:57,671 COSTA: Are you kidding me? 1199 01:11:00,673 --> 01:11:02,926 - What are you doing? - What? 1200 01:11:03,092 --> 01:11:04,719 Fuck your car! 1201 01:11:06,053 --> 01:11:07,396 (BOY SCREAMS) 1202 01:11:07,555 --> 01:11:08,681 LITTLE PERSON: Motherfuckers! 1203 01:11:10,475 --> 01:11:13,524 COSTA: Oh, my God, Thomas, we're fucked. 1204 01:11:13,686 --> 01:11:15,654 I don't know how to fix this. 1205 01:11:16,898 --> 01:11:19,401 I don't know how to fix any of this shit. 1206 01:11:19,567 --> 01:11:23,697 I'm sorry, Thomas. I just wanted to get some pussy. 1207 01:11:23,863 --> 01:11:26,912 (PEOPLE SCREAMING) 1208 01:11:27,074 --> 01:11:30,374 And something's just happening right now. I've heard a commotion. 1209 01:11:30,536 --> 01:11:32,254 (ALL CLAMORING) 1210 01:11:32,413 --> 01:11:33,881 MAN: Holy shit! 1211 01:11:37,752 --> 01:11:39,550 COSTA: What the fuck is that? 1212 01:11:39,712 --> 01:11:41,055 THOMAS: Whoa! 1213 01:11:44,258 --> 01:11:45,430 OFFICER 1 (OVER RADIO): Outside visual on subject with... 1214 01:11:45,593 --> 01:11:47,186 OFFICER 2: Everybody, back! 1215 01:11:50,348 --> 01:11:51,941 THOMAS: Fuck! You guys, come on! 1216 01:11:52,099 --> 01:11:54,568 COSTA: Come on, get the fuck out of here! Move! - Come on! 1217 01:11:54,727 --> 01:11:57,355 COSTA: Go! Shit! THOMAS: Come on! 1218 01:11:57,563 --> 01:12:00,567 Whoa! What the fuck, dude! Get down! 1219 01:12:00,733 --> 01:12:02,701 - Holy shit! Look out. COSTA: Shit! What the fuck? 1220 01:12:02,860 --> 01:12:04,112 (YELLING) 1221 01:12:04,278 --> 01:12:08,078 OFFICER 1: Subject is armed and active. MAN: Oh, my fucking God. 1222 01:12:08,241 --> 01:12:12,371 REPORTER 2: Police are on scene in riot gear. SWAT officers are rushing forward. 1223 01:12:12,537 --> 01:12:14,631 DISPATCHER (OVER RADIO): All units hold for SWAT team arrival. 1224 01:12:17,917 --> 01:12:19,885 THOMAS: Fuck! COSTA: Holy shit, dude, it's T-Rick! 1225 01:12:20,044 --> 01:12:23,890 - What the fuck is he doing? T-RICK: Costa! 1226 01:12:24,048 --> 01:12:27,393 Give me back my fucking gnome! 1227 01:12:27,552 --> 01:12:30,806 - Give it to him. Where is it? - It was full of Ecstasy. Everyone ate it! 1228 01:12:30,972 --> 01:12:33,851 T-RICK: Where the fuck is Costa? 1229 01:12:34,016 --> 01:12:35,859 OFFICER 1: Subject is advancing. 1230 01:12:39,772 --> 01:12:41,900 COSTA: Whoa, shit! 1231 01:12:43,568 --> 01:12:44,615 OFFICER 3: This is the police... 1232 01:12:44,777 --> 01:12:46,495 OFFICER 1: Approach with extreme caution. 1233 01:12:46,654 --> 01:12:49,954 OFFICER 3: Put down your weapon and put your hands in the air. 1234 01:12:50,116 --> 01:12:52,835 OFFICER 4: Get down! Show me your hands! OFFICER 5: Put down your weapon! 1235 01:12:52,994 --> 01:12:55,213 REPORTER 2: Police are now firing rubber bullets. 1236 01:12:55,371 --> 01:12:56,793 OFFICER 5: Drop it now! OFFICER 4: Back up, back up! 1237 01:12:56,956 --> 01:12:58,003 OFFICER 6: Get back! 1238 01:12:59,083 --> 01:13:00,801 OFFICER 1: Suspect is firing at officers. 1239 01:13:01,294 --> 01:13:04,047 - Fuck this. COSTA: Where are you going? Get back here! 1240 01:13:04,213 --> 01:13:05,339 J.B.: Dude, Thomas, no! 1241 01:13:05,506 --> 01:13:08,009 Look, T-Rick, we can fix this. Okay, man? 1242 01:13:08,175 --> 01:13:09,222 T-RICK: Fuck you! 1243 01:13:09,385 --> 01:13:12,685 You burn me, I burn you! 1244 01:13:12,847 --> 01:13:14,520 COSTA: Thomas, get back here, dude! 1245 01:13:14,682 --> 01:13:16,229 Costa, you motherfucker! 1246 01:13:16,392 --> 01:13:18,645 OFFICER 3: Put down your weapon. Put your hands in the air. 1247 01:13:18,811 --> 01:13:19,937 OFFICER 7: Go, go, go! - Shit! 1248 01:13:20,104 --> 01:13:21,981 OFFICER 3: Put down your weapon. 1249 01:13:22,148 --> 01:13:23,991 OFFICER 8: Yeah. Now. Take the shot! 1250 01:13:24,150 --> 01:13:25,367 COSTA: Get the fuck out of here! 1251 01:13:25,526 --> 01:13:27,028 Go! 1252 01:13:28,529 --> 01:13:29,997 OFFICER 9: Get back. Get back! 1253 01:13:30,698 --> 01:13:31,870 THOMAS: Fuck. Oh, my God. 1254 01:13:32,033 --> 01:13:33,706 OFFICER 1: Still active and on the move. 1255 01:13:33,868 --> 01:13:35,666 (T-RICK YELLING) 1256 01:13:35,870 --> 01:13:37,372 Heading toward residence. 1257 01:13:39,707 --> 01:13:41,550 COSTA: Holy shit! 1258 01:13:41,709 --> 01:13:44,053 (CAR ALARMS WAILING) 1259 01:13:44,211 --> 01:13:46,259 OFFICER 3: This is the police. 1260 01:13:47,131 --> 01:13:49,225 Disperse immediately. 1261 01:13:49,967 --> 01:13:51,059 Oh, my God. 1262 01:13:51,218 --> 01:13:53,892 OFFICER 3: Disperse immediately or you will be subject to arrest. 1263 01:13:54,555 --> 01:13:56,228 This is the police. 1264 01:14:00,895 --> 01:14:03,398 - We gotta get out of here. - I can't leave my house. 1265 01:14:03,564 --> 01:14:05,441 The house is gone, man. It's fucking over. 1266 01:14:05,608 --> 01:14:08,361 - Where's Milo? OFFICER 3: This is the police. 1267 01:14:13,491 --> 01:14:15,585 (PEOPLE SCREAMING) 1268 01:14:15,785 --> 01:14:17,913 Disperse immediately. 1269 01:14:18,079 --> 01:14:20,252 (ALL SCREAMING AND SHOUTING) 1270 01:14:22,875 --> 01:14:24,047 COSTA: Go, go! 1271 01:14:25,127 --> 01:14:27,255 THOMAS: I hear him here. 1272 01:14:27,421 --> 01:14:30,516 What the fuck are you doing? The dog's not gonna be in that drawer. 1273 01:14:30,675 --> 01:14:33,019 Here he is! I got him! Motherfuckers! 1274 01:14:33,177 --> 01:14:34,724 COSTA: Come on, let's go. Move! 1275 01:14:34,887 --> 01:14:36,855 (GRENADES EXPLODING) 1276 01:14:42,269 --> 01:14:44,271 REPORTER 2: It's complete chaos out here. 1277 01:14:44,438 --> 01:14:48,363 Police are using flash-bang grenades to try and disperse this crowd. 1278 01:14:48,526 --> 01:14:49,778 OFFICER 3: This is the police. 1279 01:14:49,944 --> 01:14:52,288 Disperse immediately. 1280 01:14:52,446 --> 01:14:55,950 If you do not disperse immediately, you will be subject to arrest. 1281 01:14:57,785 --> 01:14:59,128 Go! Go! 1282 01:14:59,286 --> 01:15:02,756 REPORTER 2: Police are now mobilizing. Fire helicopters have been brought in. 1283 01:15:02,915 --> 01:15:05,759 They're dropping water to put this blaze out. 1284 01:15:15,302 --> 01:15:18,522 OFFICER 1: Scene in progress, 50 yards ahead of IC. Officers need assistance. 1285 01:15:18,681 --> 01:15:20,479 COSTA: Holy shit! 1286 01:15:20,641 --> 01:15:23,110 EVERETT: Tyler, I need you! Pull it together! 1287 01:15:23,269 --> 01:15:25,897 (GRENADES EXPLODING) 1288 01:15:26,063 --> 01:15:28,157 Civilians 50 yards ahead on Dickens. 1289 01:15:30,317 --> 01:15:32,661 - Officers engaged with riot... - What is going on? 1290 01:15:32,820 --> 01:15:35,039 - Stay down. Stay down. - Fuck! Shit! 1291 01:15:36,866 --> 01:15:38,368 THOMAS: Milo! 1292 01:15:39,285 --> 01:15:41,003 - Dude, Milo! ROB: Hey, Oliver! 1293 01:15:41,162 --> 01:15:42,789 Great party, buddy. 1294 01:15:42,955 --> 01:15:44,673 You owe me a tree, you piece of shit. 1295 01:15:44,832 --> 01:15:49,212 All we're doing is trying to have a good time, you cocksucking motherfucker! 1296 01:15:49,378 --> 01:15:52,632 You know where you're going? You're going to jail, you motherfucker! 1297 01:15:52,798 --> 01:15:57,554 Yeah! That's my boys! Suck my dick, Robert! Suck my fucking dick! 1298 01:16:03,184 --> 01:16:04,310 THOMAS: Fuck! Shit! 1299 01:16:04,477 --> 01:16:07,526 Black sedan. License plate... We've got a hit-and-run. 1300 01:16:07,688 --> 01:16:10,988 THOMAS: Go, go, go! COSTA: Run! Run! 1301 01:16:11,150 --> 01:16:12,993 DISPATCHER: Unit 23, what's your status? 1302 01:16:17,782 --> 01:16:21,207 OFFICER 1: - Skirmish line, be advised, officer down, officer down. 1303 01:16:28,209 --> 01:16:30,553 (SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE) 1304 01:16:39,970 --> 01:16:44,020 EVERETT: He's home alone. He's been up all night, so he's probably gonna crash soon. 1305 01:16:44,183 --> 01:16:47,904 We wait about an hour to make sure he's asleep, then we make our move. 1306 01:16:48,062 --> 01:16:50,941 We go in the back, break Rob's door down, and torch the house. 1307 01:16:51,107 --> 01:16:53,201 - Yeah. COSTA: What the fuck are you talking about? 1308 01:16:53,359 --> 01:16:56,533 The guy has a wife and a baby. You're not gonna burn his house down. 1309 01:16:56,695 --> 01:16:58,823 He called the cops on us. He ruined everything. 1310 01:16:58,989 --> 01:17:03,369 It's 6 in the morning, man. Let it go. It's over. 1311 01:17:04,036 --> 01:17:05,834 Just go home. 1312 01:17:12,253 --> 01:17:13,926 What about our money? 1313 01:17:15,422 --> 01:17:19,222 The house is trashed. You're the worst security ever. 1314 01:17:30,563 --> 01:17:32,236 You guys should go home too. 1315 01:17:34,483 --> 01:17:36,451 You gonna be okay, man? 1316 01:17:36,944 --> 01:17:39,788 THOMAS: Yeah, I'm just gonna hang here with Milo for a bit. 1317 01:17:45,452 --> 01:17:46,453 COSTA: All right. 1318 01:17:47,204 --> 01:17:49,127 I'm gonna go home... 1319 01:17:50,082 --> 01:17:53,882 ...have a good cry, and start calling some lawyers. 1320 01:17:55,629 --> 01:17:58,473 Thomas, whatever happens, man... 1321 01:17:59,550 --> 01:18:02,429 ...that was one fucking hell of a night. 1322 01:18:02,928 --> 01:18:05,306 Come on, J.B., let's bounce. 1323 01:18:29,830 --> 01:18:32,083 You can go too, Dax. 1324 01:18:35,127 --> 01:18:36,925 DAX: Thanks, Thomas. 1325 01:18:37,296 --> 01:18:39,719 I had a really fun time. 1326 01:18:41,675 --> 01:18:43,598 You'll be all right. 1327 01:18:59,401 --> 01:19:01,449 BEAN (CDN RADIO): Kevin and Bean from the world-famous KROQ. 1328 01:19:01,612 --> 01:19:05,537 Can we talk about this insanity in Pasadena last night? 1329 01:19:05,699 --> 01:19:07,542 KEVIN: It looked like the greatest party ever. 1330 01:19:07,701 --> 01:19:09,544 BIG BOY: Big Boy's neighborhood, beautiful day. 1331 01:19:09,703 --> 01:19:12,126 It is going down. I don't know if you seen the news. 1332 01:19:12,289 --> 01:19:16,385 But some cats had a party in Pasadena and took this thing to the whole next level. 1333 01:19:16,543 --> 01:19:20,548 I'm talking about, they trashed the neighborhood. They trashed the house. 1334 01:19:20,714 --> 01:19:22,762 We heard that Kanye made an appearance there. 1335 01:19:22,925 --> 01:19:26,429 Yeah, so if you were there at the party in Pasadena last night, hit us up... 1336 01:19:26,595 --> 01:19:30,316 ...because we're gonna be talking about it all morning long in the neighborhood. 1337 01:19:34,603 --> 01:19:38,107 - I really am sorry. - You said that already. 1338 01:19:40,859 --> 01:19:44,909 Do you have any idea how much all this is gonna cost, Thomas? 1339 01:19:47,366 --> 01:19:50,040 Your college fund is gone, I can tell you that. 1340 01:19:51,996 --> 01:19:54,590 - Yeah. Dad, I'm sorry. - You had so much going for you... 1341 01:19:54,748 --> 01:19:59,094 ...and you just pissed it all away for one night? 1342 01:19:59,795 --> 01:20:01,047 (DAD SIGHS) 1343 01:20:03,257 --> 01:20:05,601 I just didn't think you had it in you. 1344 01:20:08,304 --> 01:20:11,854 Well, I know. I'm sorry I let you down. 1345 01:20:12,099 --> 01:20:13,646 No. 1346 01:20:13,934 --> 01:20:19,941 I literally didn't think that you had this in you. 1347 01:20:23,444 --> 01:20:26,948 So, uh, how many people were here? 1348 01:20:27,614 --> 01:20:29,082 Uh... 1349 01:20:30,659 --> 01:20:32,161 Fifteen hundred. 1350 01:20:33,537 --> 01:20:35,710 Couple thousand, maybe. 1351 01:20:36,457 --> 01:20:37,800 Wow. 1352 01:20:39,293 --> 01:20:41,261 You should've seen it. 1353 01:20:44,548 --> 01:20:46,425 It was awesome. 1354 01:20:48,969 --> 01:20:51,973 Well, you're still fucked, Thomas. 1355 01:21:04,526 --> 01:21:06,073 (DR. DRE'S "THE NEXT EPISODE" PLAYING ON CAR RADIO) 1356 01:21:06,236 --> 01:21:07,704 It's the motherfucking D-O-double-G 1357 01:21:07,863 --> 01:21:09,740 Snoop Dogg 1358 01:21:10,824 --> 01:21:13,327 You know I'm mobbin' with the D-R-E 1359 01:21:13,494 --> 01:21:15,462 Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know who's back... 1360 01:21:15,621 --> 01:21:16,713 (MUSIC STOPS) 1361 01:21:16,872 --> 01:21:18,920 Well, at least the van looks gangster now. 1362 01:21:19,083 --> 01:21:22,462 Dude, don't even start, okay? My dad's making me drive it as punishment. 1363 01:21:22,628 --> 01:21:24,346 That sucks. 1364 01:21:24,505 --> 01:21:27,679 Yeah, and I'm being brought up on like six different charges. 1365 01:21:27,841 --> 01:21:29,969 My mom hasn't stopped crying. 1366 01:21:30,135 --> 01:21:32,513 We're living at a Courtyard Marriott right now. 1367 01:21:32,679 --> 01:21:34,852 I'm basically on house arrest until my hearing. 1368 01:21:35,015 --> 01:21:36,733 I'm not supposed to talk to you guys. 1369 01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:40,362 My parents are convinced this is totally gonna be fucking my college plans. 1370 01:21:40,521 --> 01:21:42,740 Your grades are fucking up your college plans. 1371 01:21:42,898 --> 01:21:45,902 My dad got me a lawyer. Even that Jew thinks we're fucked. 1372 01:21:46,068 --> 01:21:48,867 - Thinks we could actually do time for this. J.B.: Jesus. 1373 01:21:49,029 --> 01:21:51,282 What about you, Dax? What did your parents say? 1374 01:21:51,448 --> 01:21:54,042 Oh, I live alone, actually. 1375 01:21:55,285 --> 01:21:57,788 You're really starting to fucking scare me. 1376 01:21:59,873 --> 01:22:01,875 Yo, what up, Kub? 1377 01:22:04,545 --> 01:22:06,218 BOY 1: What's going on, man? 1378 01:22:06,380 --> 01:22:08,007 BOY 2: That's him. 1379 01:22:08,215 --> 01:22:10,559 (STUDENTS CHATTERING) 1380 01:22:11,885 --> 01:22:12,977 Hey, Costa. 1381 01:22:13,137 --> 01:22:15,560 - Hi, Thomas. COSTA: Thank you. 1382 01:22:15,722 --> 01:22:17,565 Thank you. 1383 01:22:19,601 --> 01:22:22,730 BOY 3: Yo, you guys, Thomas. That party was dope. 1384 01:22:22,896 --> 01:22:24,898 THOMAS: Thank you, man. BOY 3: No, thank you, man. 1385 01:22:25,065 --> 01:22:26,567 You guys rock. 1386 01:22:26,775 --> 01:22:29,278 (STUDENTS CHEERING) 1387 01:22:31,905 --> 01:22:32,997 Thank you. 1388 01:22:34,616 --> 01:22:36,163 BOY 4: J.B.! 1389 01:22:37,161 --> 01:22:40,335 ALL (CHANTING): Thomas! Thomas! Thomas! 1390 01:22:46,753 --> 01:22:48,755 (INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) 1391 01:22:58,098 --> 01:22:59,645 THOMAS: Kirby, wait. 1392 01:23:00,976 --> 01:23:02,444 Kirby. 1393 01:23:03,270 --> 01:23:06,365 - Hey. - Hey, look, I just wanted to talk to you. 1394 01:23:06,523 --> 01:23:10,198 - There's really nothing to talk about. - Wait. Please, can I just explain? 1395 01:23:10,569 --> 01:23:11,946 It's not that complicated. 1396 01:23:12,446 --> 01:23:16,576 What you did was really not cool. 1397 01:23:17,868 --> 01:23:19,711 It really hurt me. 1398 01:23:20,078 --> 01:23:22,080 Kirby, I'm really sorry about what happened. 1399 01:23:22,539 --> 01:23:24,758 I didn't know how to handle it. 1400 01:23:26,376 --> 01:23:29,471 But I think I do now and that's why I'm here. 1401 01:23:32,216 --> 01:23:35,470 My life right now, it's totally ruined. 1402 01:23:35,636 --> 01:23:39,106 Okay? I practically burned down my whole neighborhood. 1403 01:23:39,723 --> 01:23:43,148 Probably bankrupt my parents. I'll be in debt until I die. 1404 01:23:43,310 --> 01:23:46,484 But the only thing that I care about fixing right now is this. 1405 01:23:46,647 --> 01:23:47,944 So, I'm sorry. 1406 01:23:49,525 --> 01:23:52,074 If you're still mad, I get it... 1407 01:23:52,277 --> 01:23:56,077 ...but if you are talking to me by my next birthday... 1408 01:23:56,240 --> 01:23:59,164 ...I'd really like to spend it with just you. 1409 01:24:07,793 --> 01:24:09,295 Oh, you're... 1410 01:24:16,343 --> 01:24:18,437 So we're cool again? 1411 01:24:18,595 --> 01:24:20,973 I never said you were cool. 1412 01:24:34,027 --> 01:24:37,657 So you know this high school party in Pasadena that turned into a riot, right? 1413 01:24:37,823 --> 01:24:40,997 The kid actually burned his parents' house down. Can you imagi...? 1414 01:24:41,159 --> 01:24:43,787 Do you know how many chores it's gonna take to make up for... 1415 01:24:43,954 --> 01:24:45,297 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 1416 01:24:45,455 --> 01:24:48,880 He'll be taking the trash out nine times a day for the rest of his life. 1417 01:24:49,042 --> 01:24:53,297 REPORTER: The person who caused the early morning fire and explosion here... 1418 01:24:53,463 --> 01:24:57,218 - ...has survived his injuries T-RICK: Costa! 1419 01:24:57,384 --> 01:25:00,183 We moved to a place like Pasadena to avoid stuff like this. 1420 01:25:00,345 --> 01:25:03,440 Some asshole puked all over my front door. 1421 01:25:03,599 --> 01:25:07,695 Do these kids even have parents? It's ridiculous, right? 1422 01:25:08,895 --> 01:25:11,148 Have you seen the footage? Let me tell you. 1423 01:25:11,315 --> 01:25:15,536 I haven't seen that many teenage boobs since R. Kelly's birthday party. 1424 01:25:19,740 --> 01:25:21,742 (INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE) 1425 01:26:03,075 --> 01:26:08,582 Joining us now live is one Pasadena teen who's recently drawn a lot of notice... 1426 01:26:08,747 --> 01:26:10,624 ...for throwing what people are calling... 1427 01:26:10,791 --> 01:26:13,886 ...possibly the most epic high-school party of all time. 1428 01:26:14,044 --> 01:26:17,924 Costa, before we begin, is there anything that you would like to say to the viewers? 1429 01:26:18,090 --> 01:26:19,262 In fact, I would. 1430 01:26:19,424 --> 01:26:22,553 You said it was perhaps the most epic party of all time. 1431 01:26:22,719 --> 01:26:25,063 It was the most epic party of all time. 1432 01:26:25,222 --> 01:26:28,726 Okay. I was thinking more along the lines of an apology. 1433 01:26:28,892 --> 01:26:30,314 Would you like to apologize? 1434 01:26:30,477 --> 01:26:33,481 I got a better idea. How about I invite you to my next party? 1435 01:26:33,980 --> 01:26:35,982 - What? - Yeah, you heard me, sugar-tits. 1436 01:26:36,149 --> 01:26:37,992 Just make sure you wear something tight. 1437 01:32:54,277 --> 01:32:56,279 (English - US - PSDH) 1439 01:32:57,000 --> 01:33:00,138 Download Movie Subtitles Searcher from www.OpenSubtitles.org 117742