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www.titlovi.com
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00:00:34,348 --> 00:00:37,442
[DELTA SPIRIT'S "TRASHCAN"
PLAYING]
3
00:00:57,237 --> 00:01:00,229
d Brothers, hold the line d
4
00:01:00,407 --> 00:01:04,537
d Till we got something d
5
00:01:08,415 --> 00:01:12,283
d This world is way too small d
6
00:01:12,452 --> 00:01:15,751
d To feel like nothing d
7
00:01:19,793 --> 00:01:22,728
d I was found nearThe train tracks d
8
00:01:22,896 --> 00:01:27,265
d Looking so homeless at you d
9
00:01:30,270 --> 00:01:32,101
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
10
00:01:32,272 --> 00:01:34,502
d You came like a copper d
11
00:01:34,708 --> 00:01:37,700
d You said"Son, it's time to move" d
12
00:01:44,217 --> 00:01:47,516
d My love is comin'I can barely hardly wait d
13
00:01:49,589 --> 00:01:51,614
d Around d
14
00:01:55,962 --> 00:01:57,793
See you, Cal.
15
00:01:57,964 --> 00:01:59,864
d Well, if you hideYour questions d
16
00:02:00,033 --> 00:02:02,331
[IMITATES EXPLOSION
THEN LAUGHS]
17
00:02:02,502 --> 00:02:05,494
d There's no answer d
18
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:08,307
d I finally found the cure d
19
00:02:08,475 --> 00:02:10,375
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
20
00:02:10,544 --> 00:02:14,002
d For my own cancer d
21
00:02:14,481 --> 00:02:16,972
d Yeah, yeah d
22
00:02:17,150 --> 00:02:18,879
[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
23
00:02:19,052 --> 00:02:21,282
Sue, no, no, no!
24
00:02:21,455 --> 00:02:23,821
Kill yourself
on your own time.
25
00:02:24,458 --> 00:02:25,789
d My heart is thumpin' d
26
00:02:25,959 --> 00:02:28,655
d I can feel it moreWith every beat d
27
00:02:30,497 --> 00:02:33,864
d My love is comin'I can barely hardly wait d
28
00:02:36,570 --> 00:02:39,664
d Around dd
29
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,001
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
30
00:02:46,146 --> 00:02:48,137
[CROWD CHEERING]
31
00:02:50,517 --> 00:02:53,509
[NASHVILLE PUSS Y'S
"COME ON COME ON" PLAYING]
32
00:03:00,594 --> 00:03:02,926
According
to the Art of War by Sun Tzu,
33
00:03:03,096 --> 00:03:06,088
every battle is won and lost
before it is fought.
34
00:03:06,299 --> 00:03:08,199
Well, then I guess
you've already lost.
35
00:03:11,605 --> 00:03:14,870
Oh, that's not very sportsmanlike.
Let's fucking go!
36
00:03:15,041 --> 00:03:17,441
[ENGINES REVVING]
37
00:03:17,611 --> 00:03:19,238
[McCRUDDEN YELLS]
38
00:03:19,412 --> 00:03:20,879
d I ain't goin' to hell with you d
39
00:03:21,047 --> 00:03:25,609
d That's alright now, babyJust one last thing on my mind d
40
00:03:26,386 --> 00:03:29,719
d Some sayCome on, come on, come on d
41
00:03:29,890 --> 00:03:31,118
d Fuck, yeah d
42
00:03:31,324 --> 00:03:33,383
[CHEERING]
43
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,552
[SIREN WAILING]
44
00:03:36,730 --> 00:03:40,325
d Fuck, yeahCome on, come on, come on dd
45
00:03:41,101 --> 00:03:43,899
Ladies. Hi again.
46
00:03:44,070 --> 00:03:45,867
This is the third time
we've been out.
47
00:03:46,039 --> 00:03:47,563
I know.
We're shutting this down.
48
00:03:47,741 --> 00:03:50,437
You don't wanna
shut the party down.
You wanna join us.
49
00:03:50,610 --> 00:03:53,909
Why don't you put the guns in
the car and you come on in?
50
00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,275
Hey, Bill.
Sorry I'm late, buddy.
51
00:03:56,449 --> 00:03:58,314
Fucking MapQuest.
I know it, bro.
52
00:03:58,485 --> 00:04:01,215
I'm right with you
with that shit.
Look, guys.
53
00:04:01,388 --> 00:04:04,824
Is this about earlier?
When you first came,
I thought you were strippers?
54
00:04:04,991 --> 00:04:08,290
Because that was an accident.
You're just very attractive.
55
00:04:08,461 --> 00:04:09,758
Those uniforms are banging.
56
00:04:09,930 --> 00:04:13,263
If we have to come
out here again,
it's a $ 1 000 fine.
57
00:04:13,433 --> 00:04:15,424
Close it down.
Okay.
58
00:04:15,602 --> 00:04:16,796
Message received.
59
00:04:16,970 --> 00:04:18,301
It's done.
You have my word.
60
00:04:18,471 --> 00:04:21,269
I'm gonna go inside,
get on the mike, shut it down.
61
00:04:21,441 --> 00:04:24,274
BOTH:
d Johnny, rosin up your bow
And play your fiddle hard d
62
00:04:24,444 --> 00:04:26,105
d 'Cause hell's broke loose
In Georgia d
63
00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:28,110
d And the devil deals
The cards d
64
00:04:28,281 --> 00:04:30,408
d And if you win
You'll get this shiny d
65
00:04:30,584 --> 00:04:31,846
d Fiddle made of gold d
66
00:04:32,018 --> 00:04:35,510
d But if you lose
The devil gets your soul dd
67
00:04:37,958 --> 00:04:40,426
I don't understand why you
won't just put it on.
68
00:04:40,594 --> 00:04:42,687
Because I don't
find the notion of mocking
69
00:04:42,896 --> 00:04:45,626
the American underclass
as amusing as your friends do,
70
00:04:45,799 --> 00:04:48,461
and because I don't share
your desperate need to fit in.
71
00:04:48,635 --> 00:04:51,536
By not putting the wig on,
you are setting yourself
72
00:04:51,705 --> 00:04:53,138
and me apart
from my friends,
73
00:04:53,306 --> 00:04:56,104
which is a controlling
and hostile gesture.
74
00:04:56,276 --> 00:04:57,675
Fine.
75
00:05:01,615 --> 00:05:02,809
Happy now?
Yes.
76
00:05:02,983 --> 00:05:05,281
Now I'm Mr. Fun Times.
I'm very happy. Thank you.
77
00:05:05,452 --> 00:05:06,476
I'm going for a smoke.
78
00:05:06,653 --> 00:05:09,213
Good, because
it's a fucking costume party.
79
00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:14,559
Do we need to talk
quietly around her?
80
00:05:14,728 --> 00:05:17,162
Oh, no, no, no.
She sleeps through anything.
81
00:05:17,330 --> 00:05:18,729
Yes, you do.
82
00:05:18,932 --> 00:05:23,164
When the babysitter bailed,
Glenn and I were like, "Fuck it."
We have missed every party.
83
00:05:23,336 --> 00:05:25,327
No way we're missing
the White Trash Bash.
84
00:05:25,505 --> 00:05:29,032
Give it up for Glenn.
Glenn's getting married soon.
85
00:05:29,209 --> 00:05:31,473
I really did it.
86
00:05:31,645 --> 00:05:33,010
Aww.
87
00:05:33,179 --> 00:05:35,306
What's the deal with your
bachelorette weekend?
88
00:05:35,482 --> 00:05:36,847
Yeah!
I think it's gonna be
89
00:05:37,017 --> 00:05:38,882
more of a bachelorette night.
90
00:05:39,052 --> 00:05:42,715
And it's gonna be at
my folks' place in Jersey.
91
00:05:43,456 --> 00:05:45,856
Oh.
Sorry.
92
00:05:46,026 --> 00:05:48,426
That's gonna be fine.
That's totally fine.
93
00:05:48,595 --> 00:05:49,857
Has anyone seen Glenn?
94
00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:52,590
Human torpedo!
95
00:05:52,766 --> 00:05:55,064
[WILLIE AND ME'S
"NORTH CAROLINA" PLAYING]
96
00:05:55,235 --> 00:05:57,669
[ALL YELLING]
97
00:06:01,107 --> 00:06:03,041
[SCREAMS THEN GROANS]
98
00:06:04,778 --> 00:06:06,905
It's okay.
He's a doctor.
99
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:08,274
[ALL CHEERING]
100
00:06:11,384 --> 00:06:13,215
Hey, buttheads,
you guys seen Duquez?
101
00:06:13,386 --> 00:06:15,251
Will you relax
with the doughnuts?
102
00:06:15,422 --> 00:06:19,552
Oh, sweetie, I want to.
I'm trying to push the savory
and all they want is the sweet.
103
00:06:19,726 --> 00:06:20,954
I promise you
no one cares.
104
00:06:21,127 --> 00:06:23,391
Hey. Where the fuck
are the doughnuts?
105
00:06:23,797 --> 00:06:24,889
Except him.
106
00:06:25,231 --> 00:06:27,290
Guess what.
D. Duquez is AWOL.
107
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:30,901
That is unacceptable.
I gotta have it out with that guy.
108
00:06:31,071 --> 00:06:32,732
ALISON:
Like the doughnut police.
109
00:06:32,906 --> 00:06:35,397
Hey, get off of that thing.
It's Saturday night.
110
00:06:35,575 --> 00:06:39,067
Well, it's Sunday in Korea,
and those motherfuckers
don't stop working.
111
00:06:39,245 --> 00:06:41,475
They make the Japanese
look like Jamaicans.
112
00:06:41,648 --> 00:06:44,776
Is that the new BlackBerry?
Yes, it is. Got it at the office.
113
00:06:44,951 --> 00:06:48,079
As punishment for not dressing up,
I'm putting this down my pants.
114
00:06:48,254 --> 00:06:50,154
No, no, no.
Just don't do that.
115
00:06:50,323 --> 00:06:51,790
My dick's checking your e-mail.
116
00:06:51,958 --> 00:06:53,619
I'm sending a text.
Don't do that.
117
00:06:53,793 --> 00:06:56,591
You have my life
in your pants.
You cocksucker.
118
00:06:56,763 --> 00:06:57,991
[LAUGHING]
119
00:06:58,164 --> 00:06:59,563
d North Carolina d
120
00:07:00,734 --> 00:07:03,931
d How kind will she be? dd
121
00:07:04,738 --> 00:07:07,730
Hey, you two, get a room
or get a video camera.
122
00:07:07,907 --> 00:07:09,898
Whoo!
123
00:07:10,076 --> 00:07:11,668
Hello. Excuse me, miss.
Hi.
124
00:07:11,845 --> 00:07:14,439
My name is Eric.
This is my house.
My party, sort of.
125
00:07:14,614 --> 00:07:17,811
You're looking at
a bunch of options.
This is the one you want.
126
00:07:17,984 --> 00:07:20,452
This is the finest box of wine
in the county.
127
00:07:20,620 --> 00:07:21,780
Really?
Yes, delicious.
128
00:07:21,955 --> 00:07:25,914
It has absolutely
no body and an amazing
cough-syrupy aftertaste.
129
00:07:26,092 --> 00:07:27,320
Go ahead.
Cheers.
130
00:07:27,494 --> 00:07:30,327
Don't get it on your skin.
All right?
131
00:07:30,497 --> 00:07:32,158
Oh. Yeah.
KELLY: Wow.
132
00:07:32,332 --> 00:07:34,357
ERIC: Not bad, right?
Mmm. Really good wine.
133
00:07:34,567 --> 00:07:35,795
Mm-hm.
134
00:07:35,969 --> 00:07:37,869
Even better bean dip.
That's not bean dip!
135
00:07:38,071 --> 00:07:39,629
What?
I'm kidding.
136
00:07:39,806 --> 00:07:41,637
You knew that.
That's awesome.
137
00:07:41,808 --> 00:07:43,935
You're the first person
to eat out of that.
138
00:07:44,110 --> 00:07:46,874
Not many people are thrilled
about eating out of a shitter.
139
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:50,277
Really? In prison, we used
our crapper as a punchbowl.
140
00:07:50,450 --> 00:07:51,815
Really? No kidding?
141
00:07:51,985 --> 00:07:54,476
I have never seen you
at one of these things.
142
00:07:54,654 --> 00:07:56,679
First time.
We'll have to change that.
143
00:07:56,856 --> 00:07:58,847
We do these kind of things
all the time.
144
00:07:59,025 --> 00:08:02,290
You know, Labor Day.
We're gonna have a big
Winter Wonderland party.
145
00:08:02,462 --> 00:08:03,895
Wow.
Snow machine.
146
00:08:04,097 --> 00:08:06,156
Gonna be sledding.
Should be interesting.
147
00:08:06,332 --> 00:08:08,163
Give me your information.
Ehh!
148
00:08:08,334 --> 00:08:09,460
What?
Information?
149
00:08:09,636 --> 00:08:10,830
Are you kidding me?
No.
150
00:08:11,004 --> 00:08:12,028
Really?
Yes.
151
00:08:12,205 --> 00:08:13,331
Yes, like what?
152
00:08:13,506 --> 00:08:15,838
Like my social security number,
my college GPA?
153
00:08:16,009 --> 00:08:19,240
Why don't we start
with your phone number
and your shoe size?
154
00:08:20,613 --> 00:08:22,012
Okay.
Okay.
155
00:08:22,182 --> 00:08:24,912
I happen to have a pen.
Of course you have a pen.
156
00:08:25,118 --> 00:08:27,712
You gotta be ready.
Always be prepared.
157
00:08:27,887 --> 00:08:29,013
Ah, ah, ah.
What?
158
00:08:29,189 --> 00:08:31,180
On my baby.
Look at that.
159
00:08:31,357 --> 00:08:34,417
Oh, I'm so jealous of
this baby. I'm so jealous.
160
00:08:34,627 --> 00:08:38,085
Oh, you wanna get out,
I wanna get in there.
Ha-ha-ha. I'm kidding.
161
00:08:38,264 --> 00:08:39,925
Kelly, local number?
162
00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:41,157
Local girl.
163
00:08:41,334 --> 00:08:42,392
You kidding me?
Get out.
164
00:08:42,569 --> 00:08:44,036
Size 9 shoe.
Mm-hm.
165
00:08:44,204 --> 00:08:46,695
You know what they say.
"Big shoe, big uterus."
166
00:08:46,873 --> 00:08:47,897
[MOTORC YCLE REVS]
167
00:08:48,074 --> 00:08:50,042
I'll bring friends.
Real sorry.
168
00:08:50,210 --> 00:08:52,735
If you excuse me,
I see an old friend
just showed up.
169
00:08:52,912 --> 00:08:54,004
I'll talk to you later.
170
00:08:54,180 --> 00:08:55,670
Okay.
Nice meeting you.
171
00:08:55,849 --> 00:08:57,282
Nice to meet you too.
Hey, fucko.
172
00:08:57,450 --> 00:08:58,940
Excuse me.
173
00:08:59,152 --> 00:09:01,052
ALISON:
I'm really mad, actually.
174
00:09:01,221 --> 00:09:03,212
What's wrong with this guy?
Bye, guys.
175
00:09:03,389 --> 00:09:04,720
Daddy's gotta go home.
176
00:09:04,891 --> 00:09:07,121
One more for the road.
Shotgun!
177
00:09:07,293 --> 00:09:08,453
Oh!
178
00:09:08,661 --> 00:09:10,390
Michael.
I wasn't ready. Throw another.
179
00:09:10,563 --> 00:09:12,554
Asshole.
You're supposed to catch that.
180
00:09:12,732 --> 00:09:14,097
Come on, baby,
we're going.
181
00:09:14,267 --> 00:09:15,359
Bye, guys.
Bye, Katie.
182
00:09:15,535 --> 00:09:17,230
I'm sorry if I got beer
on your baby.
183
00:09:17,604 --> 00:09:19,094
You, you.
Where have you been?
184
00:09:19,272 --> 00:09:21,399
I'm sorry. There was
a mess in the studio.
185
00:09:21,574 --> 00:09:23,474
There was this
buzzing undertone
186
00:09:23,676 --> 00:09:26,076
that was bending me over
and fucking me in the ass.
187
00:09:26,246 --> 00:09:28,237
Yeah. I'm not seeing
any doughnuts.
188
00:09:28,414 --> 00:09:30,405
You specifically
said get the glazed.
189
00:09:30,583 --> 00:09:32,915
They didn't have glazed.
I tried. There was jelly.
190
00:09:33,086 --> 00:09:36,385
There was Boston cream.
Jelly, Boston cream.
191
00:09:36,556 --> 00:09:39,423
Eric, I have a whole package
of ginger candies in my bag.
192
00:09:40,260 --> 00:09:41,727
Hi, Willow.
193
00:09:41,895 --> 00:09:43,920
Mmm, thank you.
But we're gonna be okay.
194
00:09:44,097 --> 00:09:45,928
McCRUDDEN:
I found you a big brown naked!
195
00:09:46,099 --> 00:09:47,999
I can't get it off!
I can't shake it off!
196
00:09:48,201 --> 00:09:50,795
Hey, everybody
naked in the pool.
197
00:09:50,970 --> 00:09:53,268
[ALL CHEERING]
198
00:09:55,642 --> 00:09:57,610
Well, that's a half hour
ahead of schedule.
199
00:09:59,445 --> 00:10:02,107
Yeah! Anybody?
200
00:10:02,282 --> 00:10:03,681
Anybody?
201
00:10:03,850 --> 00:10:06,182
Oh, you all suck.
Chickenshit.
202
00:10:06,352 --> 00:10:08,650
Want me to go to Brent's?
Pick up Entenmann's?
203
00:10:08,821 --> 00:10:09,845
Don't worry about it.
204
00:10:10,023 --> 00:10:11,923
Now I'm gonna go jump
in that pool
205
00:10:12,091 --> 00:10:14,025
because McCrudden
is dying in there alone.
206
00:10:14,227 --> 00:10:17,287
That's what friends do.
See, they don't leave
each other hanging.
207
00:10:17,463 --> 00:10:19,795
Where's your patriotism?
208
00:10:19,966 --> 00:10:20,990
My man.
209
00:10:21,167 --> 00:10:22,657
I got you.
210
00:10:25,138 --> 00:10:26,799
My fucking BlackBerry.
211
00:10:26,973 --> 00:10:29,168
[ALL YELLING]
212
00:10:31,377 --> 00:10:33,607
[SIREN WAILING]
213
00:10:41,254 --> 00:10:43,154
[FLY BUZZING]
214
00:10:45,058 --> 00:10:47,049
[MOOS]
215
00:10:52,332 --> 00:10:53,822
Dad, what are you
doing here?
216
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,729
Uh, hmm.
217
00:10:55,902 --> 00:10:58,996
Oh, yeah, I own the place.
Cherie, this is my son, Eric.
218
00:10:59,172 --> 00:11:01,367
Hi.
He's told me all about you.
219
00:11:01,541 --> 00:11:03,338
[MOOS]
220
00:11:03,509 --> 00:11:04,567
Ah, yeah.
221
00:11:04,777 --> 00:11:06,972
Great party. Thanks for
letting us sleep it off.
222
00:11:07,146 --> 00:11:08,807
ERIC:
No problem.
223
00:11:08,982 --> 00:11:11,678
Hm. It must have been
quite a fiesta.
224
00:11:11,851 --> 00:11:13,011
Oh, yeah,
I guess so.
225
00:11:13,186 --> 00:11:14,847
Did the best I could
with the turds.
226
00:11:15,021 --> 00:11:18,513
I know you did, Bill.
I wish you would have let me
know you were coming out.
227
00:11:18,691 --> 00:11:20,716
Maybe we can throw someone
down on a couch.
228
00:11:20,893 --> 00:11:22,360
Ah, we're not staying.
229
00:11:22,528 --> 00:11:26,897
I just came out for the day
to do a meet-and-greet
with the brokers.
230
00:11:27,066 --> 00:11:28,158
Brokers?
231
00:11:28,334 --> 00:11:30,097
You got the message, right?
232
00:11:30,303 --> 00:11:32,203
ERIC:
I saw that you called.
233
00:11:32,372 --> 00:11:34,363
I'm putting the house
on the market.
234
00:11:35,375 --> 00:11:37,434
What? Wait, you're selling
our house?
235
00:11:38,611 --> 00:11:41,910
Ah, I'm hardly ever
out here anymore.
236
00:11:42,081 --> 00:11:44,549
It's time to unload.
237
00:11:44,717 --> 00:11:45,945
But hey, what about me?
238
00:11:46,119 --> 00:11:50,215
I'm always out here.
My friends are always
out here.
239
00:11:50,857 --> 00:11:52,586
So make me an offer.
240
00:11:53,259 --> 00:11:54,817
Ah. Ha-ha-ha.
241
00:11:55,194 --> 00:11:57,389
Dad, come on.
I don't ask you for anything.
242
00:11:57,563 --> 00:11:59,428
How about this?
We go get breakfast.
243
00:11:59,599 --> 00:12:01,226
We talk over
the house situation.
244
00:12:01,401 --> 00:12:03,460
Maybe we all can chip in
for utilities?
245
00:12:03,636 --> 00:12:05,570
Ah, I'm a little pressed
for time, kiddo.
246
00:12:06,272 --> 00:12:10,231
We're gonna go play a quick nine
and then gotta get back.
247
00:12:10,410 --> 00:12:12,105
Cherie's never played before.
248
00:12:12,278 --> 00:12:13,575
I'm so excited.
249
00:12:13,746 --> 00:12:15,236
Dad, this is fucking bullshit.
250
00:12:15,415 --> 00:12:18,407
I'll call you next week.
We'll do yoga.
251
00:12:18,851 --> 00:12:21,945
[ddd]
252
00:12:28,261 --> 00:12:29,592
[McCRUDDEN GROANS]
253
00:12:29,762 --> 00:12:32,424
I've said it before
and I'll say it again.
254
00:12:32,598 --> 00:12:35,158
Your dad is a selfish prick.
255
00:12:35,368 --> 00:12:37,302
Smoothie?
Ooh.
256
00:12:37,470 --> 00:12:39,495
It's gonna be sad
not coming out here.
257
00:12:39,672 --> 00:12:42,106
Me and Willy might not
even be around next summer.
258
00:12:42,275 --> 00:12:44,607
The L.A. thing again?
Are you serious?
259
00:12:44,777 --> 00:12:46,768
You just moved into
that place in Brooklyn.
260
00:12:46,946 --> 00:12:49,176
But Willow's doing really
good with her acting.
261
00:12:49,382 --> 00:12:52,078
She did that Pizza Hut
Latin America commercial.
262
00:12:52,251 --> 00:12:54,276
ALL:
Ooh, deliciosa!
263
00:12:54,454 --> 00:12:55,614
[LAUGHS]
264
00:12:55,788 --> 00:12:58,450
Her dad is gonna
hook me up with
a job at a big law firm.
265
00:12:58,624 --> 00:12:59,818
What about the album?
266
00:12:59,992 --> 00:13:01,983
I'll work on the album
while I'm doing law.
267
00:13:02,161 --> 00:13:04,493
Yeah? Will you?
You know what I'm excited about?
268
00:13:04,664 --> 00:13:07,531
Throwing one of these parties
in my one-bedroom apartment.
269
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:09,031
That'll be fun, right?
270
00:13:09,202 --> 00:13:11,636
Maybe I can put
the food out on the fire escape.
271
00:13:11,804 --> 00:13:13,635
Eric.
ERIC: The band in the bathroom.
272
00:13:13,806 --> 00:13:15,137
I have to get more outlets.
273
00:13:15,308 --> 00:13:17,606
I'll get a power strip.
Why not? I'll splurge.
274
00:13:17,777 --> 00:13:19,176
ALISON: Eric.
What?
275
00:13:19,345 --> 00:13:20,676
This is a major moment.
276
00:13:20,847 --> 00:13:23,372
It's okay to let the hurt in.
277
00:13:23,549 --> 00:13:26,609
To allow yourself to actually
be present in a moment.
278
00:13:26,786 --> 00:13:29,516
Okay, thanks, doc. You really
make the moment more real
279
00:13:29,689 --> 00:13:32,317
by talking about how real
the moment is in the middle.
280
00:13:32,492 --> 00:13:35,484
No, I understand.
You're probably feeling
281
00:13:35,661 --> 00:13:37,856
some anger and some
misdirected frustra--
282
00:13:38,030 --> 00:13:39,497
[SCREAMS]
283
00:13:39,665 --> 00:13:41,656
Feel better now?
A little bit, yeah.
284
00:13:41,834 --> 00:13:43,461
Dude, that was awesome.
Oh, fuck!
285
00:13:43,636 --> 00:13:44,660
ALL:
Oh!
286
00:13:44,837 --> 00:13:46,168
What about now?
287
00:13:46,339 --> 00:13:47,465
Oh, much better.
288
00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:49,275
Now I'm in the moment.
289
00:13:49,342 --> 00:13:50,707
[ddd]
290
00:13:50,877 --> 00:13:53,004
McCRUDDEN:
I don't understandsummer school.
291
00:13:53,179 --> 00:13:55,841
Isn't the point of being
a teacher that you get
summers off?
292
00:13:56,015 --> 00:13:59,178
Well, they pay us poop,
so, what am I gonna do,
waitress?
293
00:13:59,352 --> 00:14:01,820
Oh, my God, the big news.
294
00:14:01,988 --> 00:14:05,185
So the principal told me today
295
00:14:05,358 --> 00:14:10,762
that the friendship bracelets
that the girls are wearing
are actually sex bracelets.
296
00:14:10,963 --> 00:14:12,021
Hmm.
What?
297
00:14:12,198 --> 00:14:14,189
I saw something
about that on Oprah.
298
00:14:14,367 --> 00:14:16,528
Girls wear these different
color bracelets
299
00:14:16,702 --> 00:14:19,535
and every color represents,
like, a sex thing.
300
00:14:19,705 --> 00:14:22,196
So if you tear off a girl's
blue bracelet,
301
00:14:22,375 --> 00:14:24,206
that means
she has to give you oral.
302
00:14:24,377 --> 00:14:26,038
Yup.
What's a yellow bracelet?
303
00:14:26,212 --> 00:14:27,338
Uh, a hug.
304
00:14:27,513 --> 00:14:28,775
ALL: Aww.
Oh, sweet.
305
00:14:28,981 --> 00:14:31,040
I know.
What about purple?
306
00:14:31,217 --> 00:14:32,206
Teabagging?
307
00:14:32,385 --> 00:14:33,943
ALL:
Oh!
308
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:35,212
Really?
309
00:14:35,388 --> 00:14:37,379
Well, what is teabagging?
310
00:14:37,557 --> 00:14:38,581
Balls in mouth.
311
00:14:38,758 --> 00:14:40,385
Oh, no!
312
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,256
Teabagging?
What is with the kids today?
313
00:14:43,429 --> 00:14:46,091
Well, the blowjob
is the new French kiss.
314
00:14:46,265 --> 00:14:48,233
Wow, we really missed
the boat on that one.
315
00:14:48,401 --> 00:14:51,063
I feel like if we had had
sex bracelets back then,
316
00:14:51,237 --> 00:14:52,795
no one would have
torn mine off.
317
00:14:53,005 --> 00:14:55,200
Ohh. No, no, no, sweetie.
318
00:14:55,374 --> 00:14:57,569
I would have torn off
your BJ bracelet.
319
00:14:57,743 --> 00:15:00,371
You're just saying that,
but thanks, Eric.
320
00:15:00,546 --> 00:15:02,138
Thanks for letting me
blow you.
321
00:15:02,315 --> 00:15:04,579
ERIC: You're welcome.
LAURA: You're a good friend.
322
00:15:05,651 --> 00:15:06,879
[CAMERA CLICKS]
323
00:15:07,053 --> 00:15:08,748
[ddd]
324
00:15:08,921 --> 00:15:11,389
Hey, Dody.
WOMAN: Mm-hm?
325
00:15:12,625 --> 00:15:14,422
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
326
00:15:14,594 --> 00:15:16,926
Hi. Can I help you?
327
00:15:17,096 --> 00:15:18,757
Are you Eric?
Yes.
328
00:15:18,931 --> 00:15:20,922
Hi. We spoke on the phone.
329
00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:23,762
I'm Dody Henderson from
the Henderson Realty Group.
330
00:15:23,936 --> 00:15:25,836
And this is my associate
Kelly Tanner.
331
00:15:26,038 --> 00:15:28,438
Hi. How are you?
Hi.
332
00:15:29,809 --> 00:15:30,833
No, thank you.
333
00:15:31,043 --> 00:15:32,101
Lame.
334
00:15:32,278 --> 00:15:33,267
Oh, I shouldn't.
Mm-hm.
335
00:15:34,614 --> 00:15:37,344
We can't wait
to get your house sold.
336
00:15:37,550 --> 00:15:39,780
We need this place
clean, clean every day.
337
00:15:39,952 --> 00:15:41,419
Water the lawns,
skim the pool.
338
00:15:41,587 --> 00:15:45,853
You never know when
buyers are gonna stop by
to say hi and buy, buy.
339
00:15:46,058 --> 00:15:47,821
Oh, B-U-Y! Ha, ha!
340
00:15:47,994 --> 00:15:50,019
Whatever.
341
00:15:50,196 --> 00:15:54,132
Oh, and make sure the toilets
are clean enough to eat out of.
342
00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:55,790
Yeah, whatever.
343
00:15:56,302 --> 00:15:59,100
Maybe I should sprinkle
some rose petals on the
driveway too.
344
00:15:59,272 --> 00:16:00,830
Just do what you can.
345
00:16:01,007 --> 00:16:03,532
Will do.
Wow.
346
00:16:03,709 --> 00:16:07,008
What are the chances
of maybe selling this
sometime after Labor Day?
347
00:16:07,813 --> 00:16:10,304
You wanna sell a summer home
during the summer.
348
00:16:10,483 --> 00:16:11,677
That's kind of the point.
349
00:16:12,585 --> 00:16:14,610
So glad we're in
business together.
350
00:16:14,787 --> 00:16:16,015
Om shanti.
351
00:16:16,822 --> 00:16:18,517
Om shanti it is.
352
00:16:21,961 --> 00:16:24,486
Vultures.
Yeesh.
353
00:16:24,664 --> 00:16:25,653
[SIGHS]
354
00:16:25,831 --> 00:16:28,356
It's light. It's light.
355
00:16:28,534 --> 00:16:30,661
We should put it up closer.
Like there?
356
00:16:30,836 --> 00:16:34,203
McCRUDDEN:
Oh, yeah. That'll bring in
all the right clientele.
357
00:16:34,373 --> 00:16:37,501
[ddd]
358
00:16:43,349 --> 00:16:46,580
Listen. Have you given
any more thought to the
final Labor Day blowout?
359
00:16:46,752 --> 00:16:47,912
I really don't know.
360
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,486
I mean, obviously,
we gotta do something huge.
361
00:16:50,656 --> 00:16:52,920
But what do you do
for a final blowout?
362
00:16:53,125 --> 00:16:55,685
Go out in a blaze of glory.
Heads held high.
363
00:16:55,861 --> 00:16:57,260
I get it.
Deserved.
364
00:16:57,430 --> 00:16:59,193
Holy shit. Oh, shit.
Here we go. Bingo.
365
00:16:59,365 --> 00:17:01,196
What?
I got the concept right here.
366
00:17:01,367 --> 00:17:02,766
Brown party.
367
00:17:03,369 --> 00:17:04,427
Brown party.
Brown party.
368
00:17:04,637 --> 00:17:06,730
Brown clothes, brown food,
brown drink,
369
00:17:06,906 --> 00:17:09,431
brown clown,
brown balloons,
370
00:17:09,642 --> 00:17:11,940
live music supplied by
Jackson Browne.
371
00:17:12,144 --> 00:17:14,374
I don't know what you're
thinking. Is that good?
372
00:17:14,547 --> 00:17:15,673
It's fucking awful.
373
00:17:15,848 --> 00:17:18,442
Take it easy.
I'm just spitballing.
374
00:17:18,651 --> 00:17:20,710
It's not like you're throwing
ideas my way.
375
00:17:20,886 --> 00:17:23,047
He spells with an E at the end.
Doesn't matter.
376
00:17:23,222 --> 00:17:25,850
Holy shit.
We got a situation here.
377
00:17:26,025 --> 00:17:27,720
Oh, my fucking God.
378
00:17:27,893 --> 00:17:30,123
Dude, she's wearing
a sex bracelet.
379
00:17:30,296 --> 00:17:31,627
McCRUDDEN:
Holy fuck, she is.
380
00:17:31,797 --> 00:17:34,095
ERIC:
Oh, boy, that's trouble.
381
00:17:34,266 --> 00:17:36,564
It's blue. It's blue.
Sword swallower.
382
00:17:36,736 --> 00:17:39,603
When she reaches
out for my cone,
I'm gonna snag that thing
383
00:17:39,772 --> 00:17:41,899
and it's deep-throat city
all night long.
384
00:17:42,074 --> 00:17:43,371
No, no, no.
385
00:17:43,542 --> 00:17:46,443
Please don't do that.
Don't. No, stop.
386
00:17:46,612 --> 00:17:48,307
Stop. Stop it.
387
00:17:48,481 --> 00:17:49,812
[McCRUDDEN GAGGING]
388
00:17:49,982 --> 00:17:52,974
I bet she unhinges her jaw
like a fucking python
swallowing a rat.
389
00:17:53,185 --> 00:17:55,915
Um, do you guys
know what you want?
390
00:17:56,088 --> 00:17:58,147
Yes, we do.
Yeah. We got a pretty good idea.
391
00:17:58,324 --> 00:17:59,916
No, ice cream
is what we're into.
392
00:18:02,928 --> 00:18:06,659
Do you think a girl
like that looks at us like
we're a couple of old dudes?
393
00:18:06,832 --> 00:18:10,097
The way we used to look
at 30-year-old guys back
in high school and say,
394
00:18:10,269 --> 00:18:13,761
"Oh, man, look at that
lame old guy hitting on Sue."
395
00:18:13,939 --> 00:18:16,499
Ha, ha. Yeah, probably.
396
00:18:16,709 --> 00:18:19,405
I don't know.
Weren't 30-year-old guys
a lot older back then
397
00:18:19,578 --> 00:18:21,102
with, like, mustaches
and jobs?
398
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,441
It certainly seemed like it.
Yeah.
399
00:18:23,616 --> 00:18:24,640
[CHUCKLES]
400
00:18:24,817 --> 00:18:25,841
What?
401
00:18:26,018 --> 00:18:28,145
Fuck, dude, we're getting old.
Bullshit. Come on.
402
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,652
I got a foot cramp
the other day masturbating.
403
00:18:30,823 --> 00:18:33,792
What? Doesn't make sense.
I swear to God. It happened.
404
00:18:33,959 --> 00:18:37,122
Do you think that girl
and her friends really
have BJ orgy parties?
405
00:18:37,296 --> 00:18:38,456
Indubitably.
Really?
406
00:18:38,631 --> 00:18:40,622
Duquez is right.
We got fucking hosed.
407
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,734
Goddang.
408
00:18:43,803 --> 00:18:45,634
Hey, what about that?
409
00:18:45,805 --> 00:18:46,794
What about what?
410
00:18:46,972 --> 00:18:48,667
What about that
for the final party?
411
00:18:48,841 --> 00:18:51,002
What?
An orgy.
412
00:18:51,177 --> 00:18:52,644
An orgy?
An orgy.
413
00:18:52,812 --> 00:18:54,302
You wanna have an orgy?
Why not?
414
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:56,141
Get out of town.
It'll never happen.
415
00:18:56,315 --> 00:18:57,543
Why not?
Why not?
416
00:18:57,750 --> 00:18:59,809
Because people don't
have orgies, you know?
417
00:18:59,985 --> 00:19:01,384
Oh, come on. They used to.
418
00:19:01,554 --> 00:19:03,351
True.
Yeah, think about it, dude.
419
00:19:03,522 --> 00:19:06,389
An orgy.
A good old-fashioned orgy.
420
00:19:06,892 --> 00:19:09,224
Wowie.
That is a blaze of glory.
421
00:19:09,395 --> 00:19:12,364
Okay. Now you know
I hate naysayers, right?
422
00:19:12,531 --> 00:19:13,998
But I'm gonna have to say nay.
423
00:19:14,166 --> 00:19:15,497
Really?
Really.
424
00:19:15,668 --> 00:19:17,226
Are you throwing down
the gauntlet?
425
00:19:17,403 --> 00:19:19,337
Oops, what's that?
426
00:19:19,505 --> 00:19:21,769
It's on the ground
as we speak.
427
00:19:23,676 --> 00:19:25,007
We're gonna have an orgy.
428
00:19:25,177 --> 00:19:26,166
[ddd]
429
00:19:26,345 --> 00:19:27,903
We're gonna have an orgy.
430
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,949
Oh, boy. Here we go.
431
00:19:30,015 --> 00:19:31,346
[ddd]
432
00:19:31,517 --> 00:19:33,508
ERIC: Okay, guys,
I've been mulling it over
433
00:19:33,686 --> 00:19:35,586
and I have a concept
for the final fiesta.
434
00:19:35,788 --> 00:19:37,517
All right.
What is it?
435
00:19:37,690 --> 00:19:39,021
Whoo!
SUE: Fiesta.
436
00:19:39,191 --> 00:19:41,182
While this will be
the most spectacular
437
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:45,524
and insane party
any of us have taken part of,
it's not gonna be a big thing.
438
00:19:45,698 --> 00:19:46,926
It's just gonna be us.
439
00:19:47,099 --> 00:19:52,036
It's gonna be small,
intimate, special.
440
00:19:52,204 --> 00:19:53,933
Oh, I'll make lasagna.
441
00:19:54,106 --> 00:19:56,597
SUE: Yummy.
ALISON: Oh, yeah.
442
00:19:56,809 --> 00:19:58,037
We're gonna have an orgy.
443
00:20:01,947 --> 00:20:03,915
Who?
Us.
444
00:20:05,217 --> 00:20:07,879
Where?
Right here. Labor Day weekend.
445
00:20:08,053 --> 00:20:11,955
Us? A naked sex orgy?
446
00:20:12,124 --> 00:20:14,592
You're kidding, right?
No, I'm not. Why not us?
447
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,557
People used to have them
all the time.
448
00:20:16,729 --> 00:20:17,889
All the time.
449
00:20:18,063 --> 00:20:19,553
What happened
to our generation?
450
00:20:19,732 --> 00:20:21,927
What happened?
I'll tell you what happened.
451
00:20:22,101 --> 00:20:24,797
AIDS.
AIDS.
452
00:20:24,970 --> 00:20:26,562
AIDS hit right
when we hit puberty.
453
00:20:26,739 --> 00:20:28,764
And it scared the shit
out of all of us.
454
00:20:28,941 --> 00:20:32,900
It turned sex into this big,
frightening thing.
455
00:20:33,078 --> 00:20:34,409
DUQUEZ:
He's right.
456
00:20:34,580 --> 00:20:38,243
Kids today are freaks,
our parents were freaks,
457
00:20:38,417 --> 00:20:39,975
we're a bunch of
fucking pussies.
458
00:20:40,152 --> 00:20:42,746
We're the lamest generation.
ERIC: This is our chance.
459
00:20:42,922 --> 00:20:44,116
Our chance to do it right.
460
00:20:44,290 --> 00:20:46,281
Take back what's
been taken from us.
461
00:20:46,458 --> 00:20:48,790
Isn't that from Goonies?
I am paraphrasing Goonies.
462
00:20:48,961 --> 00:20:51,589
Orgy. Orgy.
463
00:20:51,764 --> 00:20:55,598
[CHANTING]
Orgy. Orgy. Orgy.
464
00:20:55,768 --> 00:20:58,066
ERIC:
Duquez, come on.
You're into this, right?
465
00:20:58,237 --> 00:21:01,502
What? Heh-heh-heh. No.
466
00:21:01,674 --> 00:21:04,643
We're all friends.
It would just be too weird.
467
00:21:04,810 --> 00:21:07,677
How do you know unless you try?
Ew!
468
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:12,442
If we all went into this
with an open mind,
it could be amazing.
469
00:21:12,618 --> 00:21:15,781
In theory,
a noble call to arms.
470
00:21:15,955 --> 00:21:20,619
In practice, I cannot
imagine a more awkward
471
00:21:20,793 --> 00:21:22,784
and uncomfortably
terrible evening.
472
00:21:22,962 --> 00:21:25,692
Oh, laugh, laugh,
laugh all you want.
473
00:21:25,898 --> 00:21:28,093
Seriously, don't you get it?
This is it,
474
00:21:28,267 --> 00:21:31,293
the final blowout,
and then the house is gone.
475
00:21:31,470 --> 00:21:34,803
People move away.
Things change.
476
00:21:34,974 --> 00:21:37,374
We need to think
outside of the box.
477
00:21:37,543 --> 00:21:40,478
And inside the box.
478
00:21:40,646 --> 00:21:41,840
ALL:
Eww.
479
00:21:42,014 --> 00:21:44,039
Mike, that's not
what I'm going for.
480
00:21:44,216 --> 00:21:45,513
I'm in.
481
00:21:45,985 --> 00:21:47,111
What?
What?
482
00:21:47,286 --> 00:21:48,310
Are you serious?
483
00:21:48,487 --> 00:21:50,546
Yes, it worked. Ha-ha-ha.
484
00:21:50,723 --> 00:21:52,486
Come on. An orgy?
485
00:21:52,658 --> 00:21:53,989
It's madness.
486
00:21:54,159 --> 00:21:57,185
Ugh.
It's gonna be a fucking blast.
487
00:21:57,363 --> 00:21:58,853
Success!
Success!
488
00:21:59,031 --> 00:22:01,158
Sue's in.
Thank you, yes.
489
00:22:01,333 --> 00:22:02,322
Here we go.
Come on.
490
00:22:02,501 --> 00:22:05,163
I'm gonna go meet Marcus.
Oh, my God.
491
00:22:05,337 --> 00:22:07,862
All right, think it over.
Think it-- Everybody, okay.
492
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:09,337
All right, I get it.
493
00:22:09,508 --> 00:22:12,341
It's gonna take
a while to come around
on this whole orgy idea.
494
00:22:12,511 --> 00:22:14,502
Right? Here?
No, okay. Ha, ha!
495
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:18,411
Very good, but go ahead,
type it in your BlackBerrys,
pencil it in your notebooks.
496
00:22:18,584 --> 00:22:20,882
[CHANTING]
Orgy. Orgy.
497
00:22:21,053 --> 00:22:23,180
ALL:
Orgy. Orgy.
498
00:22:23,355 --> 00:22:26,347
Orgy. Orgy. Orgy.
499
00:22:26,525 --> 00:22:28,516
[ddd]
500
00:22:32,464 --> 00:22:35,922
So, Sue, you think this
is how you're gonna
finally sleep with Eric?
501
00:22:36,101 --> 00:22:39,036
What? We dated
in high school.
502
00:22:39,204 --> 00:22:40,728
Come on,
that was ages ago.
503
00:22:40,906 --> 00:22:42,669
You guys never,
you know, did it,
504
00:22:42,841 --> 00:22:44,604
so it's kind of
unfinished business.
505
00:22:44,777 --> 00:22:48,110
Yeah, but I've slept with
like a ton of guys since then,
506
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,771
so this doesn't have
anything to do with it.
507
00:22:50,983 --> 00:22:53,713
ERIC:
Fine, but other than
social awkwardness,
508
00:22:53,886 --> 00:22:55,046
give me one reason.
509
00:22:55,220 --> 00:22:58,348
Oh, very well. How about
I give you several reasons?
510
00:22:58,524 --> 00:23:00,048
Like, oh, I don't know,
511
00:23:00,225 --> 00:23:01,886
chlamydia, the herp,
512
00:23:02,061 --> 00:23:05,895
gonorrhea,
syphilis, papilloma.
513
00:23:06,065 --> 00:23:07,396
The Steve McQueen movie?
514
00:23:07,566 --> 00:23:11,229
No, that's Papillon.
The virus that causes
genital warts.
515
00:23:11,403 --> 00:23:13,564
Ugh. Why do you think
of this stuff?
516
00:23:13,739 --> 00:23:16,731
Don't you remember
the article my mom clipped
from The New Yorker?
517
00:23:16,909 --> 00:23:19,309
[LAUGHS]
518
00:23:19,511 --> 00:23:20,739
No.
519
00:23:20,913 --> 00:23:23,279
Condoms can't stop it
and it causes cervical cancer.
520
00:23:23,449 --> 00:23:25,314
You don't have a cervix.
521
00:23:25,918 --> 00:23:29,615
I don't know how you
could have sex in front
of a room full of people.
522
00:23:29,788 --> 00:23:32,916
I mean, I don't even like
to get naked at the spa.
523
00:23:33,092 --> 00:23:35,925
I'm not saying that this is
gonna be easy for me,
524
00:23:36,095 --> 00:23:39,087
but isn't that what
kind of makes it exciting?
525
00:23:39,264 --> 00:23:41,789
I'm not saying that
it wouldn't be fun,
526
00:23:41,967 --> 00:23:43,935
but it's an orgy.
527
00:23:44,103 --> 00:23:46,128
What's the point of
losing all this weight
528
00:23:46,305 --> 00:23:48,239
if you're not gonna show off
your new bod?
529
00:23:48,407 --> 00:23:50,170
You haven't even worn
your bikini yet.
530
00:23:50,342 --> 00:23:51,775
I still have
5 more pounds.
531
00:23:51,944 --> 00:23:54,777
I think this could help
build your self-esteem.
532
00:23:54,947 --> 00:24:00,351
There's the miracle cure.
I'm gonna start turning my clients
onto group sex instead of Zoloft.
533
00:24:00,552 --> 00:24:02,747
We're going to the beach.
At least do that.
534
00:24:02,921 --> 00:24:04,946
It's our last summer.
Let's go to the beach.
535
00:24:05,124 --> 00:24:08,616
Shockingly, I'm gonna
pass on the stroll through
the tick-infested dunes.
536
00:24:09,294 --> 00:24:10,784
Dude, I've had
Lyme disease.
537
00:24:10,963 --> 00:24:13,454
It's not a big deal.
It's antibiotics, boom, done.
538
00:24:13,632 --> 00:24:16,829
You know I have a needle phobia.
Okay? I can't go to the doctor.
539
00:24:17,002 --> 00:24:19,630
The puncturing
the veins and the... Ugh.
540
00:24:19,805 --> 00:24:22,296
Okay, whatever.
Enjoy the great indoors.
541
00:24:22,474 --> 00:24:24,635
Yeah. Bye.
Okay.
542
00:24:24,810 --> 00:24:28,143
Ooh, hey, Eric.
Uh, could you grab some
sand for my ass crack?
543
00:24:28,313 --> 00:24:29,837
I'll grab some
for your cervix.
544
00:24:30,015 --> 00:24:31,812
[LAUGHS]
545
00:24:31,984 --> 00:24:34,316
Okay. Let's say you dated
four guys in one year,
546
00:24:34,486 --> 00:24:36,477
right, and you slept
with them.
547
00:24:36,655 --> 00:24:38,816
You'd be cool with that?
Totally.
548
00:24:38,991 --> 00:24:42,017
And how many guys
have you slept with this year?
549
00:24:42,828 --> 00:24:44,819
None.
550
00:24:44,997 --> 00:24:46,362
Or the year before.
551
00:24:46,532 --> 00:24:49,865
So really all you're doing
is sleeping with four guys
552
00:24:50,035 --> 00:24:52,401
in, like,
a shorter time frame.
553
00:24:53,539 --> 00:24:55,700
I never really thought
of it that way.
554
00:24:56,875 --> 00:24:57,899
What do you think?
555
00:24:58,110 --> 00:25:01,204
Insane, idiotic
and self-destructive.
556
00:25:03,182 --> 00:25:05,343
Okay, hypothetically.
Mm-hm.
557
00:25:05,517 --> 00:25:09,351
If I did decide to do it,
but at the last minute,
558
00:25:09,521 --> 00:25:11,648
I totally freaked out,
559
00:25:11,824 --> 00:25:14,759
they would let me out,
right?
560
00:25:14,927 --> 00:25:17,191
Laura, it's an orgy,
not The Accused.
561
00:25:17,362 --> 00:25:20,422
It's not fun
unless everybody's into it.
562
00:25:22,835 --> 00:25:24,427
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
563
00:25:24,636 --> 00:25:26,866
I'm gonna do it.
Yeah? Yeah?
564
00:25:27,039 --> 00:25:29,064
I'm gonna do it.
All right. Yeah, girl.
565
00:25:29,241 --> 00:25:31,402
Hey, guys,
what's the celebration?
566
00:25:31,577 --> 00:25:33,204
[ddd]
567
00:25:33,378 --> 00:25:36,040
Just talking about
how to get Laura
back in the saddle.
568
00:25:36,215 --> 00:25:38,775
Whoo, yay!
I'm gonna find you a guy.
569
00:25:39,351 --> 00:25:41,717
Glenn's cousin Frank
is coming to the wedding.
570
00:25:41,887 --> 00:25:45,023
GLENN:
He runs a karate studio
in Hoboken. Pretty cool.
571
00:25:45,724 --> 00:25:47,715
McCRUDDEN:
Okay, Game on. Let's go.
572
00:25:47,893 --> 00:25:49,053
ADAM:
All right, John Kruk.
573
00:25:49,228 --> 00:25:52,664
I'll tell you what I'm gonna throw,
and you're still gonna whiff at it.
574
00:25:52,898 --> 00:25:55,560
Slow breaking curveball.
575
00:25:56,568 --> 00:25:57,592
ALL:
Oh!
576
00:25:57,769 --> 00:25:59,760
Goddamn it! I dare you
to throw that again.
577
00:25:59,938 --> 00:26:02,907
Sweet Wiffle,
the nerd's revenge.
578
00:26:03,075 --> 00:26:04,975
Ooh, I got my
bunt face on.
579
00:26:05,177 --> 00:26:07,441
Drills, ladies. Drills.
Let's go. Look alive.
580
00:26:07,613 --> 00:26:08,944
Album cover,
hat or no hat?
581
00:26:09,114 --> 00:26:11,082
Oh, Doug,
come on, man.
582
00:26:11,250 --> 00:26:13,115
You've been doing this
for two years.
583
00:26:13,285 --> 00:26:15,753
Mixing, remixing.
Hatting, no hatting.
584
00:26:15,921 --> 00:26:18,048
Your music's awesome.
Get it out there.
585
00:26:18,223 --> 00:26:21,989
No one will give it a shot
if they don't dig my look.
It's an image-based industry.
586
00:26:22,194 --> 00:26:25,595
What the fuck?
This is why you're
headed for a shitty job.
587
00:26:25,764 --> 00:26:29,256
You need to stop trying
to look like a rock star
and start living like one.
588
00:26:29,434 --> 00:26:30,833
Yeah, do the orgy.
Do the orgy.
589
00:26:31,003 --> 00:26:32,470
You think Mick Jagger
would have said,
590
00:26:32,638 --> 00:26:34,663
[IN BRITISH ACCENT]
"No thanks, mate.
No orgy for me.
591
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:36,501
I've got an on-again-off-again
girlfriend."
592
00:26:36,675 --> 00:26:38,802
[IN BRITISH ACCENT]
"I don't wanna cheat
on David Bowie."
593
00:26:38,977 --> 00:26:41,104
"No cheating on Bowie."
Hey, Willow.
594
00:26:42,514 --> 00:26:44,175
I know what Tom Hanks
feels like now.
595
00:26:44,349 --> 00:26:46,283
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
My only concern, Duque,
596
00:26:46,451 --> 00:26:48,783
is that the hat doesn't
make you look gay enough.
597
00:26:48,954 --> 00:26:50,114
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Oh, yeah.
598
00:26:50,289 --> 00:26:52,849
You could Photoshop in three
guys jizzing on your face?
599
00:26:53,025 --> 00:26:55,459
Or on the hat?
Ooh, ooh.
600
00:26:55,627 --> 00:26:56,821
That's good.
Hey.
601
00:26:56,995 --> 00:27:01,455
You could take that five-song
demo, make it a double album.
One with the hat, one without it?
602
00:27:01,633 --> 00:27:03,692
You could call it, uh,
Exile on Hat Street.
603
00:27:03,869 --> 00:27:07,305
Yeah, or Jagged Little Hat?
Oh, Meat Loaf. Hat Outta Hell.
604
00:27:07,472 --> 00:27:10,373
What about Sgt. Pepper'sLonely Hats Club Hat?
605
00:27:10,542 --> 00:27:14,171
What if I just call it
My Shitty FriendsDon't Respect Me?
606
00:27:15,147 --> 00:27:17,308
Indie. You won't be able
to sell at Walmart.
607
00:27:17,482 --> 00:27:20,508
Who's next up to hat?
ADAM: Two and two to Harvey Key.
608
00:27:20,686 --> 00:27:23,314
Sandy winds up and delivers.
609
00:27:24,323 --> 00:27:26,348
Ooh, hoo-hoo-hoo!
Fuck me.
610
00:27:26,525 --> 00:27:27,992
Hey, Ali Cat.
Hi.
611
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:29,354
Like what you see?
612
00:27:29,528 --> 00:27:31,553
This could be all yours
Labor Day weekend.
613
00:27:31,763 --> 00:27:33,492
Oh, Eric.
614
00:27:33,665 --> 00:27:35,394
Do you mind if
I make an observation?
615
00:27:35,567 --> 00:27:38,536
Oh, boy. Sure, go ahead.
616
00:27:38,704 --> 00:27:40,638
You have intimacy issues.
617
00:27:40,806 --> 00:27:42,000
Really?
Yeah.
618
00:27:42,174 --> 00:27:44,506
I figured an orgy is
as intimate as it can get.
619
00:27:44,676 --> 00:27:47,509
No, no, no, but intimacy
isn't about intercourse, Eric.
620
00:27:47,679 --> 00:27:48,976
It's about emotion.
Mm-hm.
621
00:27:49,147 --> 00:27:51,911
You don't need to get laid.
You need to be in a relationship.
622
00:27:52,084 --> 00:27:56,020
Heh, heh. Look, just because
you're in an unhappy relationship,
623
00:27:56,888 --> 00:27:58,685
doesn't mean
the rest of us need to be.
624
00:27:58,857 --> 00:28:00,688
I'm not in an unhappy
relationship.
625
00:28:00,859 --> 00:28:03,726
I'm in an adult relationship.
626
00:28:03,895 --> 00:28:05,863
It's fun, whatever it is.
Hold on one sec?
627
00:28:06,031 --> 00:28:09,057
Hey, Marcus. You want
to take a few cracks with the bat?
628
00:28:09,234 --> 00:28:10,531
No, thank you.
629
00:28:10,702 --> 00:28:13,694
Football is my game,
European football.
630
00:28:13,872 --> 00:28:15,169
Gotcha.
631
00:28:15,340 --> 00:28:17,570
Did he date Siegfried or Roy?
I can't remember.
632
00:28:17,743 --> 00:28:20,041
ALL:
Oh!
633
00:28:20,212 --> 00:28:22,942
God, it's embarrassing
watching you play this sport.
634
00:28:23,115 --> 00:28:25,879
Aww, it's cow shit.
635
00:28:26,051 --> 00:28:28,884
Look, doc, it's your life.
636
00:28:29,054 --> 00:28:30,419
You can do
whatever you want.
637
00:28:30,589 --> 00:28:32,887
All I'm saying is that maybe
Labor Day weekend
638
00:28:33,058 --> 00:28:35,322
might be the last chopper
out of Saigon for you.
639
00:28:36,728 --> 00:28:38,423
[IMITATES HELICOPTER]
640
00:28:43,702 --> 00:28:45,966
Knock, knock.
Guess who.
641
00:28:46,138 --> 00:28:47,935
Dody! Ha-ha-ha.
642
00:28:48,106 --> 00:28:50,404
DOD Y: These are the Webers.
How you doing?
643
00:28:50,942 --> 00:28:52,773
We brought some extra signs
644
00:28:52,944 --> 00:28:54,605
because someone
is stealing ours.
645
00:28:54,780 --> 00:28:56,441
Oh. That's too bad.
646
00:28:57,349 --> 00:28:59,943
Oh, good. Okay.
Hey, guys. Do me a favor?
647
00:29:00,118 --> 00:29:03,246
When you go in the house,
don't go to the basement
or anything.
648
00:29:03,422 --> 00:29:07,586
Not that there's anything
or anyone down there
in a cage or otherwise.
649
00:29:07,759 --> 00:29:10,751
Thanks, Eric.
That's so helpful.
650
00:29:10,929 --> 00:29:12,089
What is he talking about?
651
00:29:12,264 --> 00:29:15,131
KELLY:
Oh, gosh. Don't worry. Don't worry.
652
00:29:15,300 --> 00:29:18,599
He's a little off.
653
00:29:18,770 --> 00:29:19,998
It's a head injury.
654
00:29:20,172 --> 00:29:22,265
That's why he wears
the helmet.
655
00:29:22,441 --> 00:29:24,932
Are they all challenged?
656
00:29:25,610 --> 00:29:28,078
Yes. But at least
they have each other.
657
00:29:28,246 --> 00:29:31,443
Oh, that's so great.
658
00:29:31,616 --> 00:29:34,141
Have fun with your game,
sweetie.
659
00:29:34,319 --> 00:29:35,786
Thanks, Mrs. Weber.
660
00:29:37,089 --> 00:29:40,320
We are five minutes
from Indian Wells Beach.
661
00:29:40,492 --> 00:29:42,687
And wait till you see
your bedroom.
662
00:29:45,197 --> 00:29:47,188
[ALL SHOUTING]
663
00:29:47,399 --> 00:29:49,629
[ddd]
664
00:29:58,543 --> 00:29:59,601
[BUZZER SOUNDS]
665
00:29:59,778 --> 00:30:01,040
[ALL CHEER]
666
00:30:01,213 --> 00:30:03,113
[ALL CHATTERING]
667
00:30:20,999 --> 00:30:23,490
What if someone comes in?
These people never knock.
668
00:30:23,668 --> 00:30:26,068
I just locked the door.
669
00:30:26,238 --> 00:30:30,072
Fine, but you really
must be quiet.
670
00:30:30,242 --> 00:30:31,573
None of your usual screeches.
671
00:30:31,743 --> 00:30:33,335
Okay, okay, okay.
Yes?
672
00:30:33,512 --> 00:30:35,537
Yeah.
673
00:30:37,983 --> 00:30:40,508
Oh, Marcus. Oh...
674
00:30:40,685 --> 00:30:43,176
Let's get you out
of these dirty little panties.
675
00:30:43,355 --> 00:30:45,323
ALISON:
Do it. What?
676
00:30:45,490 --> 00:30:48,857
What's going on?
Why are you stopping?
What's going on? Hey.
677
00:30:49,027 --> 00:30:50,517
What?
678
00:30:51,196 --> 00:30:52,720
What have you done
to your vagina?
679
00:30:54,366 --> 00:30:55,526
I shaved it.
680
00:31:01,540 --> 00:31:04,407
Why?
I don't know.
681
00:31:04,576 --> 00:31:09,070
Because I thought it would be
something different, sexy.
682
00:31:09,247 --> 00:31:12,842
Women are supposed
to have pubic hair.
Why would I find it sexy?
683
00:31:13,018 --> 00:31:15,077
You look like
a prepubescent girl.
684
00:31:15,253 --> 00:31:16,618
I'm not a child molester.
685
00:31:16,788 --> 00:31:19,882
Okay, you know what,
it's hair, Marcus,
and it's gonna grow back.
686
00:31:21,226 --> 00:31:23,456
Well, I wished you
would have told me
687
00:31:23,628 --> 00:31:26,119
about your little secret
before I unwrapped this.
688
00:31:26,298 --> 00:31:28,732
This lambskin condoms
cost 2 Euros.
689
00:31:28,900 --> 00:31:30,561
It's wasteful.
690
00:31:31,603 --> 00:31:32,763
ALISON:
I did it for you!
691
00:31:32,938 --> 00:31:34,872
MARCUS:
You could have
consulted with me.
692
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:38,407
ALISON:
I don't make you wear deodorant
because you don't want to!
693
00:31:38,577 --> 00:31:41,546
Alison, you're being
like a child.
694
00:31:41,713 --> 00:31:44,147
ALISON:
Fuck you, go away!
695
00:31:44,316 --> 00:31:46,250
You go away.
696
00:31:46,418 --> 00:31:47,749
I think this is chemical.
697
00:31:47,919 --> 00:31:49,750
Darling, what dosage
are you taking?
698
00:31:49,921 --> 00:31:52,082
ALISON:
You-- Fuck you!
699
00:31:52,257 --> 00:31:53,588
This is your problem.
700
00:31:53,758 --> 00:31:57,159
I was just expressing my
sexuality in a healthy manner.
701
00:31:57,329 --> 00:32:01,265
God forbid, Marcus,
that we experiment a little bit.
702
00:32:01,433 --> 00:32:02,661
MARCUS:
Fine.
703
00:32:02,834 --> 00:32:06,770
I'm going back to the city
and I'm taking the iPod.
704
00:32:06,938 --> 00:32:09,168
Fine. Leave!
705
00:32:09,341 --> 00:32:11,639
And your breath is terrible!
706
00:32:11,810 --> 00:32:14,802
My breath is natural.
Unlike your vagina.
707
00:32:15,780 --> 00:32:17,304
ALISON:
Fuck you!
708
00:32:19,651 --> 00:32:20,777
[SOBS]
709
00:32:21,953 --> 00:32:23,284
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
710
00:32:23,455 --> 00:32:25,855
Oh. Jesus.
711
00:32:26,791 --> 00:32:27,780
Sorry.
712
00:32:27,959 --> 00:32:30,154
Ahem. It's all right.
713
00:32:33,965 --> 00:32:36,365
The worst part is
I'm just peeing right now.
714
00:32:36,568 --> 00:32:37,569
[ddd]
715
00:32:37,569 --> 00:32:38,467
[ddd]
716
00:32:52,584 --> 00:32:54,279
I've been kicking
around a few ideas.
717
00:32:54,452 --> 00:32:56,317
Party themes.
Let me know
what you think.
718
00:32:56,488 --> 00:32:59,787
First one, Roman, right?
You're talking togas, wine,
719
00:32:59,958 --> 00:33:02,153
bushels of grapes,
the whole deal.
720
00:33:02,327 --> 00:33:04,192
Then I also have '70s, right?
721
00:33:04,362 --> 00:33:07,820
We got the swinger vibe,
polyester, big hair,
722
00:33:07,999 --> 00:33:10,832
upstairs and down, you know?
Um, I don't know.
723
00:33:11,002 --> 00:33:13,402
What about the Kama Sutra?
724
00:33:13,605 --> 00:33:15,004
That's actually not bad.
Yeah?
725
00:33:15,173 --> 00:33:17,869
Yeah, yeah, like the sex secrets
of the East, right?
726
00:33:18,043 --> 00:33:20,011
Mm-hm.
Oh, that's-- Yeah.
727
00:33:20,178 --> 00:33:23,978
You know you have like,
uh, incense, tapestries.
728
00:33:24,149 --> 00:33:26,640
Veils, diaphanous fabrics.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
729
00:33:26,818 --> 00:33:29,548
I have no idea what the hell
that is, but I like it.
730
00:33:29,721 --> 00:33:31,882
You and me, we're on the
same page with this.
731
00:33:32,057 --> 00:33:34,389
Right? I think so.
Absolutely.
732
00:33:34,559 --> 00:33:36,720
How do you spell "Kama"?
Yeah.
733
00:33:36,895 --> 00:33:38,362
Dude, babe alert
at 3 o'clock.
734
00:33:38,530 --> 00:33:40,361
Three o'clock.
My 3, my 3.
735
00:33:40,532 --> 00:33:43,365
[McCRUDDEN
IMITATES TRUMPET]
736
00:33:44,169 --> 00:33:45,363
[ERIC CHUCKLES]
737
00:33:45,537 --> 00:33:46,697
Wait.
That hurts my dink.
738
00:33:46,871 --> 00:33:48,202
Wait a minute.
That's Kelly.
739
00:33:48,373 --> 00:33:50,841
Who?
My Realtor.
740
00:33:51,009 --> 00:33:52,567
Oh, shit, the enemy.
741
00:33:53,244 --> 00:33:54,939
Listen to me. Listen.
742
00:33:55,146 --> 00:33:58,047
We cannot afford to lose
the casa de sex before
Labor Day, okay?
743
00:33:58,216 --> 00:34:01,117
You go over there, you get in
tight with her, lay on the charm,
744
00:34:01,286 --> 00:34:03,220
and get her to drag ass
selling the house.
745
00:34:03,388 --> 00:34:04,719
No, no, that is--
Yes, yes.
746
00:34:04,889 --> 00:34:07,187
She is a tough cookie.
She'll see through that.
747
00:34:07,359 --> 00:34:09,293
Her? Please, dude,
you're the king.
748
00:34:09,461 --> 00:34:12,760
A little winey-diney,
she'll be your humble
wench servant.
749
00:34:13,732 --> 00:34:15,723
Keep friends close,
but enemies closer.
750
00:34:15,900 --> 00:34:19,165
Yeah. That doesn't make
any sense. Just go fucking
charm her, okay?
751
00:34:19,537 --> 00:34:20,902
Okay.
Go, go, go.
752
00:34:21,072 --> 00:34:22,300
All right.
Do the thing.
753
00:34:22,474 --> 00:34:25,739
What?
The smile thing. Ahem.
754
00:34:26,745 --> 00:34:29,908
Kelly. Kelly. Hi.
Oh, Eric.
755
00:34:30,081 --> 00:34:31,446
Hey.
Hey.
756
00:34:31,616 --> 00:34:33,311
Oh, my God, look at this.
Watch.
757
00:34:33,485 --> 00:34:36,545
I hope anything I said
didn't screw anything up
with the client.
758
00:34:36,721 --> 00:34:38,814
I was joking around.
I didn't freak them out?
759
00:34:38,990 --> 00:34:40,651
Oh, no. Not at all.
Oh, good.
760
00:34:40,825 --> 00:34:43,555
You were wearing that helmet
so I was able to convince them
761
00:34:43,728 --> 00:34:46,595
that, you know,
you ride the short bus.
762
00:34:46,765 --> 00:34:48,426
Well, that's good.
763
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:49,965
Yeah. Thanks.
Well played.
764
00:34:50,135 --> 00:34:52,467
Hey, do you mind if--?
Maybe I can make up to you.
765
00:34:52,637 --> 00:34:54,434
Take you out to dinner
or something?
766
00:34:54,606 --> 00:34:56,471
Could be fun, yeah?
Oh, gosh, thanks.
767
00:34:56,641 --> 00:35:00,771
Um, technically,
I'm not supposed to
go out with clients so...
768
00:35:00,945 --> 00:35:03,846
Well, technically
my dad's the client.
769
00:35:04,015 --> 00:35:06,848
Right now I'm just some
random dude on the beach.
770
00:35:07,018 --> 00:35:09,509
She's smiling.
Look, she's smiling.
She's buying it.
771
00:35:09,721 --> 00:35:12,019
Okay. I'll go to dinner
with you.
772
00:35:12,223 --> 00:35:13,281
All right.
773
00:35:13,458 --> 00:35:15,619
But, tell me which party
we met at.
774
00:35:15,794 --> 00:35:17,955
Was it one of my parties?
Mm-hm.
775
00:35:18,129 --> 00:35:19,756
Okay. What, um...
776
00:35:19,931 --> 00:35:22,297
Oh, was it the
Cuba Libre party because
777
00:35:22,467 --> 00:35:24,662
I was in mojito haze
that whole day and I just--
778
00:35:24,836 --> 00:35:26,201
Nope.
No.
779
00:35:26,371 --> 00:35:27,702
Oktoberfest in July?
780
00:35:27,872 --> 00:35:29,806
Nope.
Oh, oh, no, no, I know.
781
00:35:29,974 --> 00:35:31,032
I know.
782
00:35:31,242 --> 00:35:34,473
Uh, it was the Star Trek
versus Star Wars Battle
for the Universe Party
783
00:35:34,646 --> 00:35:37,479
and you were dressed
as Obi-Wan Kenobi.
784
00:35:37,649 --> 00:35:39,981
How drunk do you get
at these parties?
785
00:35:40,151 --> 00:35:42,984
Uh, pretty drunk.
It's kind of a social obligation.
786
00:35:43,154 --> 00:35:45,714
Okay. I'm gonna
give you a hint.
787
00:35:45,890 --> 00:35:47,482
I wear a size 9 shoe.
788
00:35:49,260 --> 00:35:50,955
Oh, my God.
789
00:35:51,129 --> 00:35:53,154
Oh, my God,
you're bean dip girl.
790
00:35:53,331 --> 00:35:55,299
You're bean dip girl?
I am.
791
00:35:55,467 --> 00:35:57,560
Have you been
bean dip girl
the whole time?
792
00:35:57,769 --> 00:35:59,896
Oh, he's so good.
793
00:36:00,071 --> 00:36:02,164
I can't believe that.
I was gonna call you.
794
00:36:02,340 --> 00:36:03,671
I had your number
on my hand
795
00:36:03,842 --> 00:36:05,707
and I jumped in the pool
and it was gone.
796
00:36:05,877 --> 00:36:08,368
I thought I lost you.
I thought you were
gone forever.
797
00:36:08,546 --> 00:36:09,740
And you--
798
00:36:09,914 --> 00:36:12,075
You look so much better
without the fake baby.
799
00:36:12,283 --> 00:36:13,841
I actually prefer the mullet.
800
00:36:14,018 --> 00:36:15,349
Oh, I just cut it yesterday.
801
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:16,714
Oh.
For work.
802
00:36:16,888 --> 00:36:19,880
Don't think this whole funny,
charming thing right now
803
00:36:20,058 --> 00:36:21,855
gets you off
for stealing my signs.
804
00:36:22,026 --> 00:36:24,153
I don't know
what you're talking about.
805
00:36:24,329 --> 00:36:26,229
I'm furious
those signs are gone.
806
00:36:26,397 --> 00:36:27,864
You're lying.
I'm not lying.
807
00:36:28,032 --> 00:36:29,693
Your voice just went up.
What?
808
00:36:30,401 --> 00:36:31,698
l-- I'm--
809
00:36:31,870 --> 00:36:34,202
[IN DEEP VOICE]
I'm not lying. I am not lying.
810
00:36:34,372 --> 00:36:35,771
You're so lying.
No, I'm not.
811
00:36:35,940 --> 00:36:37,840
Fucking James Bond. Fuck.
812
00:36:38,009 --> 00:36:39,033
[LAUGHS]
813
00:36:39,210 --> 00:36:42,236
DUQUEZ:
Wow, look at that, huh?
814
00:36:42,413 --> 00:36:45,541
Holy smokes.
Another gorgeous shot.
815
00:36:45,717 --> 00:36:46,877
Yeah, thanks.
816
00:36:48,419 --> 00:36:51,047
What should I use,
pitching wedge or nine?
817
00:36:51,222 --> 00:36:53,315
I used the nine.
818
00:36:53,691 --> 00:36:55,955
I think maybe
I should use the wedge.
819
00:36:56,127 --> 00:36:57,560
Or use the wedge.
820
00:37:00,832 --> 00:37:02,857
Ugh! Why am I like this?
821
00:37:03,034 --> 00:37:06,231
Oh, just pick a club and hit it.
What is the big deal?
822
00:37:07,372 --> 00:37:09,101
Will you do the orgy with me?
823
00:37:10,642 --> 00:37:12,132
Hey, can we
play through?
824
00:37:12,343 --> 00:37:13,401
Hold on a second, man.
825
00:37:16,915 --> 00:37:18,109
The orgy.
826
00:37:18,283 --> 00:37:20,410
You think that would be
a good idea?
827
00:37:20,585 --> 00:37:21,609
[SCOFFS]
828
00:37:21,786 --> 00:37:24,277
I'm stuck.
And I think the reason
829
00:37:24,455 --> 00:37:26,753
is because
I feel like a fucking fraud.
830
00:37:26,925 --> 00:37:30,326
I'm not cool.
I have a law degree.
831
00:37:30,495 --> 00:37:33,931
I ride a motorcycle and it scares
the fucking shit out of me.
832
00:37:34,098 --> 00:37:36,498
And I play golf at my mom's
fucking country club
833
00:37:37,268 --> 00:37:38,826
with assholes like this.
834
00:37:39,003 --> 00:37:41,665
What's the holdup?
Play the wedge!
835
00:37:42,173 --> 00:37:44,300
This is not rock 'n' roll.
836
00:37:45,677 --> 00:37:48,111
This could be
really good for me.
837
00:37:48,279 --> 00:37:50,270
For me and for us.
838
00:37:50,949 --> 00:37:53,144
Will you do the orgy with me?
839
00:37:55,987 --> 00:37:58,114
Sure, yeah, yeah, whatever.
Yeah.
840
00:37:59,157 --> 00:38:00,454
Really?
841
00:38:01,392 --> 00:38:03,690
Holy shit.
Yeah.
842
00:38:05,430 --> 00:38:08,456
If you're sure
this is what you want.
843
00:38:08,633 --> 00:38:11,295
Yeah, absolutely.
844
00:38:11,469 --> 00:38:13,630
Good.
I think.
845
00:38:13,805 --> 00:38:15,940
GOLFER:
Fore!
846
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,304
[ddd]
847
00:38:23,548 --> 00:38:25,982
So you wanna know why
guys don't get as excited
848
00:38:26,150 --> 00:38:28,641
about their wedding
as women do?
849
00:38:28,820 --> 00:38:32,312
See, it used to be like
a guy would get rewarded
for his commitment with sex.
850
00:38:32,490 --> 00:38:35,152
But you and Glenn have
had sex like a billion times.
851
00:38:35,326 --> 00:38:37,658
For God's sake,
you guys have
a kid together.
852
00:38:37,829 --> 00:38:43,358
So for Glenn,
it's just kind of like all
commitment, no reward.
853
00:38:43,534 --> 00:38:45,001
You know?
854
00:38:45,637 --> 00:38:48,197
I'm the fucking reward.
855
00:38:48,373 --> 00:38:50,000
Of course you are.
Of course.
856
00:38:50,174 --> 00:38:51,698
No.
Hello?
857
00:38:52,443 --> 00:38:54,536
Something's wrong.
He's never late.
858
00:38:54,712 --> 00:38:56,737
Try him again.
I have been trying him.
859
00:38:56,948 --> 00:38:58,347
He's not answering
his phone.
860
00:38:58,516 --> 00:39:01,076
At least he won't
wear a white tuxedo
like you dickheads.
861
00:39:01,853 --> 00:39:03,878
Oh, God,
that's good.
862
00:39:04,055 --> 00:39:07,320
[MOANING]
863
00:39:07,492 --> 00:39:08,857
Oh, sweet Lord in heaven.
864
00:39:09,027 --> 00:39:10,654
What the fuck,
are you stoned?
865
00:39:10,828 --> 00:39:13,023
No. No, no, no, better.
866
00:39:13,197 --> 00:39:15,825
I'm wearing a thing called
The Yank. From Adam & Eve.
867
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,867
One end straps around your leg,
the other end around your wang.
868
00:39:19,037 --> 00:39:22,996
The brochure says,
"With every stride, it gives
your member a gentle tug."
869
00:39:23,174 --> 00:39:24,198
Ahh.
870
00:39:24,375 --> 00:39:27,208
What are you doing
with a rope on your cock
at my wedding?
871
00:39:27,378 --> 00:39:29,278
Endurance training,
Labor Day.
872
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:32,381
Mm-mm.
For what? A jack-off marathon?
873
00:39:33,084 --> 00:39:35,279
What? Uh, yeah.
874
00:39:35,486 --> 00:39:38,114
That's exactly it.
You nailed it. Heh, heh.
875
00:39:38,289 --> 00:39:39,950
Hey, check it out.
Look who's here.
876
00:39:40,124 --> 00:39:42,922
Oh, fantastic.
Another asshole in white tails.
877
00:39:43,094 --> 00:39:45,392
Keep the change, man.
878
00:39:46,531 --> 00:39:48,226
ERIC:
Ha-ha-ha. Oh, my God.
879
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,067
Well, well, well.
Look at you.
880
00:39:51,235 --> 00:39:54,762
You're late, you're in costume,
and you appear to be hammered.
881
00:39:54,939 --> 00:39:56,099
Who the hell
are you?
882
00:39:56,274 --> 00:39:58,401
Long story. I got fired.
883
00:39:58,576 --> 00:39:59,736
What?
What?
884
00:39:59,911 --> 00:40:03,403
It had more to do with
the fact that I almost blew
a $2 billion merger deal
885
00:40:03,581 --> 00:40:06,573
because some bozo
jumped into the pool
with my BlackBerry.
886
00:40:06,951 --> 00:40:08,612
Oh, shit. Dude.
887
00:40:08,786 --> 00:40:10,913
I spent most of last night
crying and drinking
888
00:40:11,089 --> 00:40:14,923
and then I drunk-dialed my mom.
She kind of talked me down.
889
00:40:15,093 --> 00:40:16,754
Then I woke up this morning,
890
00:40:16,928 --> 00:40:20,091
had a little more to drink
and I realized, you know what?
891
00:40:20,264 --> 00:40:22,289
This is good. I'm free.
892
00:40:22,467 --> 00:40:23,764
Adam, I'm so sorry.
893
00:40:23,935 --> 00:40:25,835
Shh, shh, shush.
You're my friend.
894
00:40:26,037 --> 00:40:27,937
No, they took my twenties
from me.
895
00:40:28,106 --> 00:40:31,132
And I plan to make my thirties
making up for it.
896
00:40:31,309 --> 00:40:32,936
And you know what else?
897
00:40:33,111 --> 00:40:35,671
I'm doing the orgy. Fuck it.
898
00:40:36,247 --> 00:40:37,271
GLENN:
Orgy?
899
00:40:37,448 --> 00:40:39,006
What orgy?
900
00:40:39,183 --> 00:40:40,810
The fuck are you
talking about?
901
00:40:40,985 --> 00:40:43,681
See, this is exactly
why we should
have told him, Eric.
902
00:40:43,855 --> 00:40:45,152
Told me what?
903
00:40:45,323 --> 00:40:47,450
That's what we're doing
for Labor Day. An orgy.
904
00:40:47,625 --> 00:40:50,185
Bullshit. Who's having an orgy?
905
00:40:50,361 --> 00:40:52,659
It's me, Willow,
these two fellas,
906
00:40:52,830 --> 00:40:55,162
Laura, Sue, now drunkie.
907
00:40:55,333 --> 00:40:56,459
Waiting on Alison.
908
00:40:56,634 --> 00:40:58,602
Jesus H.
Fucking Christ.
909
00:40:58,770 --> 00:41:01,671
How come you
cocksuckers didn't think
of this fucking orgy idea
910
00:41:01,839 --> 00:41:04,137
five fucking years ago?
Goddamn it!
911
00:41:04,308 --> 00:41:06,333
Ahem. Uh, Glenn.
912
00:41:06,511 --> 00:41:09,173
I'm afraid we're gonna have
to start without your friend.
913
00:41:09,347 --> 00:41:10,575
Oh, he's here.
He's, uh...
914
00:41:10,948 --> 00:41:12,677
Hi, Rabbi.
No.
915
00:41:13,317 --> 00:41:14,682
Pardon my French.
916
00:41:15,186 --> 00:41:16,585
[MOANS]
917
00:41:17,355 --> 00:41:18,788
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
918
00:41:18,956 --> 00:41:20,116
All right, everybody.
919
00:41:20,291 --> 00:41:22,782
Introducing
for the very first time,
920
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,360
Mr. and Mrs. Glenn Pasillio.
921
00:41:25,530 --> 00:41:26,690
[ALL CHEERING]
922
00:41:26,864 --> 00:41:29,890
Paciello.
Paciellio.
923
00:41:33,404 --> 00:41:35,099
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
924
00:41:36,340 --> 00:41:37,466
Here we go.
925
00:41:37,642 --> 00:41:38,666
Whoo, whoo, whoo!
926
00:41:39,343 --> 00:41:40,503
I am married.
927
00:41:43,181 --> 00:41:44,170
Thank you.
928
00:41:46,017 --> 00:41:48,850
I can't believe you guys
broke up because you shaved.
929
00:41:49,020 --> 00:41:50,920
He's the weirdest,
creepiest guy ever.
930
00:41:51,122 --> 00:41:52,749
BARTENDER:
Here you are, ladies.
931
00:41:52,924 --> 00:41:55,358
You guys are definitely
broken up this time, right?
932
00:41:55,526 --> 00:41:58,518
[SHARON CLARK'S
"I'M NOT AFRAID OF LOVE"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
933
00:41:58,696 --> 00:42:00,061
Fuck relationships.
934
00:42:00,231 --> 00:42:04,031
Right now, all I wanna
do is have some fun.
935
00:42:05,336 --> 00:42:09,363
d No, I'm not afraid of love d
936
00:42:09,540 --> 00:42:10,700
[LAUGHS]
937
00:42:12,443 --> 00:42:15,537
d Just because I run away d
938
00:42:15,713 --> 00:42:16,702
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
939
00:42:16,881 --> 00:42:19,406
d When you say you need me d
940
00:42:20,451 --> 00:42:23,887
d I'm not afraid d
941
00:42:24,055 --> 00:42:25,886
[CLINKING]
942
00:42:26,057 --> 00:42:28,924
d I'm not afraid dd
943
00:42:30,194 --> 00:42:32,025
Labor Day.
944
00:42:32,864 --> 00:42:33,888
I'm in.
945
00:42:34,065 --> 00:42:35,896
Yes. Yes.
946
00:42:36,067 --> 00:42:37,728
Oh, and I'm fully shaved.
947
00:42:37,902 --> 00:42:39,392
[CUTLERY CLATTERS]
948
00:42:39,570 --> 00:42:41,401
Alison.
Oh, no, no, no.
949
00:42:41,572 --> 00:42:43,563
I'm not making a speech.
950
00:42:43,741 --> 00:42:46,904
Sorry about that.
It's, uh, private conversation.
951
00:42:47,078 --> 00:42:48,136
[CHUCKLES]
952
00:42:48,312 --> 00:42:49,939
Are you okay?
953
00:42:50,114 --> 00:42:53,572
You know what they're
doing over Labor Day?
Do you know what the party is?
954
00:42:53,751 --> 00:42:54,809
What?
955
00:42:54,986 --> 00:42:57,420
They're having a fucking orgy.
956
00:42:57,588 --> 00:42:59,783
Heh-heh-heh.
What are you talking about?
957
00:42:59,957 --> 00:43:02,482
They are having an orgy.
958
00:43:03,327 --> 00:43:04,453
Like a sex orgy?
959
00:43:04,629 --> 00:43:06,756
Like a sex orgy
and we're not invited.
960
00:43:06,931 --> 00:43:09,422
[CHATTERING AND LAUGHING]
961
00:43:10,601 --> 00:43:11,966
Hey. Hi.
962
00:43:12,136 --> 00:43:13,501
So is it true?
963
00:43:13,704 --> 00:43:15,899
That all of you
are having this orgy
964
00:43:16,073 --> 00:43:17,938
and you didn't think
to invite us?
965
00:43:20,111 --> 00:43:22,978
What are you all
looking at me for? l--
966
00:43:23,147 --> 00:43:25,672
Guys, you just got married,
okay?
967
00:43:25,850 --> 00:43:27,818
l-- You have a kid.
You don't--
968
00:43:27,985 --> 00:43:30,283
Don't you think
it's a little inappropriate?
969
00:43:30,454 --> 00:43:32,115
Well, of course
we wouldn't come.
970
00:43:32,290 --> 00:43:35,123
It's that you didn't ask us.
You didn't even think of us.
971
00:43:35,293 --> 00:43:37,693
In fact, you specifically
hid this from us.
972
00:43:37,862 --> 00:43:39,830
We invited all you
to be here today,
973
00:43:39,997 --> 00:43:42,329
just the most special
day of our lives,
974
00:43:42,500 --> 00:43:46,368
and you, who are supposed
to be our closest friends...
975
00:43:46,537 --> 00:43:49,631
There were family members
who didn't get invited
so you could come.
976
00:43:49,807 --> 00:43:50,967
Family members.
Right.
977
00:43:51,809 --> 00:43:55,540
Now, we're just totally
out of your pervy little
social club. Huh?
978
00:43:56,681 --> 00:43:57,807
I don't believe this.
979
00:44:00,151 --> 00:44:02,517
[ALL GIGGLING]
980
00:44:04,322 --> 00:44:06,483
ERIC: Sorry.
Are you happy?
981
00:44:08,125 --> 00:44:11,492
Because you and your stupid orgy
just ruined our goddamn wedding.
982
00:44:11,662 --> 00:44:13,687
ERIC: Oh, come on, Glenn.
GLENN: Kate!
983
00:44:13,998 --> 00:44:16,489
Is it too late to invite them?
I'll go talk to her.
984
00:44:16,667 --> 00:44:17,691
ALL:
No!
985
00:44:17,868 --> 00:44:19,802
Are you kidding me?
Guys, it's Katie.
986
00:44:19,971 --> 00:44:21,563
She's gonna be fine
in like an hour.
987
00:44:21,772 --> 00:44:23,501
I just realized
I'm really hammered
988
00:44:23,674 --> 00:44:25,733
and I would really
like to dance.
989
00:44:25,910 --> 00:44:27,241
I'm dancing too.
990
00:44:27,411 --> 00:44:30,209
This reminds me
of our senior prom.
991
00:44:30,381 --> 00:44:32,372
You still won't give me
a hand job, right?
992
00:44:32,550 --> 00:44:35,348
[ELI "PAPERBO Y" REED'S
"(DOIN' THE) BOOM BOOM"
PLAYING]
993
00:44:35,519 --> 00:44:37,180
d It's the boom boom d
994
00:44:38,222 --> 00:44:40,190
d It's the boom boom d
995
00:44:44,195 --> 00:44:45,924
d Oh, baby dd
996
00:44:46,097 --> 00:44:47,359
McCRUDDEN:
Oh, God.
997
00:44:47,531 --> 00:44:49,396
[YELLING]
998
00:44:53,371 --> 00:44:57,000
KELLY: It's amazing
that you're still so tight
with your high school friends.
999
00:44:57,174 --> 00:44:59,039
None of mine moved
back after college.
1000
00:44:59,210 --> 00:45:02,043
Yeah, it's a, uh... I don't know,
it's maybe corny to say,
1001
00:45:02,213 --> 00:45:04,078
but these guys and gals
are kind of like
1002
00:45:04,248 --> 00:45:06,739
the closest thing I've got
to a family these days.
1003
00:45:06,917 --> 00:45:10,045
That's why the house,
the summer house,
it's like our rec center.
1004
00:45:10,554 --> 00:45:12,886
I think we're getting an offer
on the rec center.
1005
00:45:14,258 --> 00:45:15,520
My dad will be thrilled.
1006
00:45:15,693 --> 00:45:17,058
I knew it.
What?
1007
00:45:17,228 --> 00:45:19,628
I knew it wasn't a family
decision to sell the house.
1008
00:45:19,830 --> 00:45:23,095
No. We're not big into
family decisions anymore.
1009
00:45:23,267 --> 00:45:25,531
My mom,
she lives in Portland, Oregon,
1010
00:45:25,703 --> 00:45:28,797
with this, uh,
Reiki healer asshole.
1011
00:45:28,973 --> 00:45:31,601
Tell me exactly how you feel.
Oh, he's good. He's good.
1012
00:45:31,776 --> 00:45:34,370
Uh, no, she's kind of
out of the picture.
1013
00:45:34,545 --> 00:45:37,105
Her doing. Um, yeah,
it's just me and my dad.
1014
00:45:37,281 --> 00:45:39,875
Hm, well, your dad
seems like a fun guy.
1015
00:45:40,051 --> 00:45:41,075
Oh!
Yeah?
1016
00:45:41,252 --> 00:45:43,277
Yeah, yeah, he's very fun.
He's a hoot.
1017
00:45:43,454 --> 00:45:46,252
Kind of like being raised
by an older fraternity brother.
1018
00:45:46,424 --> 00:45:48,949
He hit on me a little bit.
No.
1019
00:45:49,126 --> 00:45:51,253
He ask you to play golf?
Yes.
1020
00:45:51,429 --> 00:45:53,761
That's his move.
He's very good at golf. Very good.
1021
00:45:53,931 --> 00:45:57,094
But he did it
right in front of Cherie
and she had no idea.
1022
00:45:57,268 --> 00:45:58,792
Neither did my mom
for a while.
1023
00:45:59,170 --> 00:46:01,104
Now if you will excuse me,
Oh.
1024
00:46:01,272 --> 00:46:03,172
I have to win this game
if you don't mind.
1025
00:46:03,374 --> 00:46:06,070
Does this make you...?
It's a little distracting.
1026
00:46:06,243 --> 00:46:08,177
That's not distracting at all. Oh!
Jesus.
1027
00:46:08,379 --> 00:46:10,677
I lied.
It was a little distracting.
1028
00:46:10,881 --> 00:46:12,049
Help.
1029
00:46:15,953 --> 00:46:19,081
ERIC:
Fred's Beds? Are you sure
this is the right place?
1030
00:46:19,457 --> 00:46:23,154
McCRUDDEN:
Yeah. What do you think this is,
an underground sex club?
1031
00:46:23,828 --> 00:46:25,455
ERIC:
Do you have any idea
where you're going?
1032
00:46:25,629 --> 00:46:27,654
McCRUDDEN:
He said come in through
the warehouse entrance.
1033
00:46:27,832 --> 00:46:28,992
You got rubbers on you?
1034
00:46:29,166 --> 00:46:30,190
No.
What?
1035
00:46:30,401 --> 00:46:32,335
We are here to observe.
That is all.
1036
00:46:32,503 --> 00:46:34,596
It's a sex club.
Semper fi. Always prepared.
1037
00:46:34,772 --> 00:46:37,536
You know what I mean?
Doesn't that mean "always faithful"?
1038
00:46:37,708 --> 00:46:39,801
Hey, who took Latin
in seventh grade?
1039
00:46:39,977 --> 00:46:43,208
Moi, okay?
I brought a pack with me
if you need one.
1040
00:46:43,414 --> 00:46:45,211
Give me the signal.
I won't need one.
1041
00:46:45,416 --> 00:46:47,441
Altoid?
Yeah.
1042
00:46:51,055 --> 00:46:52,113
What do you want?
1043
00:46:52,289 --> 00:46:54,450
The password is chandelier.
1044
00:46:57,128 --> 00:46:58,152
Who's your connection?
1045
00:46:58,329 --> 00:47:01,389
Vic George, friend of my uncle's.
Yeah. He told me to expect you.
1046
00:47:01,565 --> 00:47:02,657
Come on in.
1047
00:47:02,867 --> 00:47:05,358
[THE HERBALISER'S
"THE SENSUAL WOMAN"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
1048
00:47:07,204 --> 00:47:10,037
So welcome to the Paradiso.
1049
00:47:14,311 --> 00:47:15,335
What the fuck?
1050
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:17,313
Can I take your clothes?
No.
1051
00:47:17,481 --> 00:47:18,709
You sure?
Yeah, I'm sure.
1052
00:47:18,883 --> 00:47:20,009
Okay, follow me.
Yeah.
1053
00:47:20,184 --> 00:47:22,345
This is Bill.
ERIC: Hey, Bill.
1054
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:24,215
That was a panda.
1055
00:47:24,388 --> 00:47:25,480
Go easy on that thing.
1056
00:47:25,656 --> 00:47:27,681
Didi, Ginger.
1057
00:47:27,958 --> 00:47:29,516
Clambake.
1058
00:47:29,693 --> 00:47:31,923
Good look at that. That's pretty cool.
Yeah.
1059
00:47:32,096 --> 00:47:35,088
This group right here.
They're crazy, crazy, crazy.
1060
00:47:35,266 --> 00:47:36,733
Heh, heh.
FRED: Okay.
1061
00:47:36,901 --> 00:47:39,665
If you guys get a shot,
get in the swing.
You will love it.
1062
00:47:39,837 --> 00:47:41,566
ERIC:
My grandma has that thing.
1063
00:47:41,739 --> 00:47:43,331
Another time,
probably.
1064
00:47:43,507 --> 00:47:45,236
You need anything,
just ask for Fred.
1065
00:47:45,409 --> 00:47:47,434
Oh, Fred's Beds?
That's a different Fred.
1066
00:47:47,611 --> 00:47:48,669
I'm a dentist.
1067
00:47:48,846 --> 00:47:51,940
Vic, he is over there
in the futon section.
All right?
1068
00:47:52,116 --> 00:47:53,276
Okay.
Have a good time.
1069
00:47:53,484 --> 00:47:54,508
Thanks, Dr. Fred.
1070
00:47:54,685 --> 00:47:55,777
You guys be good.
1071
00:47:55,986 --> 00:47:58,716
ERIC:
Whoa. Should've had
this guy at the wedding.
1072
00:47:59,056 --> 00:48:00,387
Love the new Price is Right.
1073
00:48:00,558 --> 00:48:02,389
[COCOSUMA'S "THE JAR"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
1074
00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:06,121
d Work it outTurn it straight d
1075
00:48:06,297 --> 00:48:08,595
d You're the manFor the job dd
1076
00:48:08,766 --> 00:48:09,790
What are you doing?
1077
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:11,058
[CHUCKLES]
1078
00:48:11,235 --> 00:48:12,463
[MOANING]
1079
00:48:12,636 --> 00:48:14,433
Oh, my God.
Oh, fuck.
1080
00:48:14,605 --> 00:48:15,936
McCRUDDEN:
Vic?
1081
00:48:16,106 --> 00:48:18,370
Hey, Mikey.
Hey.
1082
00:48:18,542 --> 00:48:19,975
Little McCrudden.
1083
00:48:20,144 --> 00:48:22,908
Holy shit, you've grown.
Yeah.
1084
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:24,741
How you doing, baby?
Good, good.
1085
00:48:25,583 --> 00:48:27,744
How's your folks?
Good, they're on a cruise.
1086
00:48:27,918 --> 00:48:29,783
Mom got her pound cake
recipe published.
1087
00:48:29,954 --> 00:48:32,320
This is my buddy Eric.
Eric, Vic.
1088
00:48:32,523 --> 00:48:34,252
Your mom's a good woman.
1089
00:48:35,125 --> 00:48:36,387
Oh, how you doing, man?
1090
00:48:37,428 --> 00:48:39,328
Yeah. Good to meet you.
1091
00:48:39,530 --> 00:48:40,554
This is Ellen.
1092
00:48:40,731 --> 00:48:41,755
Ellen.
Hi, guys.
1093
00:48:41,932 --> 00:48:43,331
Hi.
Eric and Mikey.
1094
00:48:43,534 --> 00:48:45,126
It's Mike. I go by Mike now.
1095
00:48:45,302 --> 00:48:46,963
First time at
the Paradiso, eh, guys?
1096
00:48:47,137 --> 00:48:48,229
Mm-hm.
ELLEN: Ooh, ooh.
1097
00:48:48,405 --> 00:48:50,339
Got a couple of cherries
to pop.
1098
00:48:50,541 --> 00:48:53,101
Come on, guys, take off
the clothes and get fucking.
1099
00:48:53,277 --> 00:48:56,678
No. No fucking. No. Actually, no, no.
We're here more doing research
1100
00:48:56,847 --> 00:48:58,974
than anything else.
We're gonna throw an orgy.
1101
00:48:59,149 --> 00:49:01,481
We were hoping we can
get a little advice.
1102
00:49:01,652 --> 00:49:04,280
I see. Let's powwow
over at the snack nook.
1103
00:49:04,455 --> 00:49:06,047
Snack nook is good.
Snack nook.
1104
00:49:06,290 --> 00:49:07,621
Just let me finish up here.
1105
00:49:07,791 --> 00:49:09,315
No rush.
Rush if you want.
1106
00:49:09,493 --> 00:49:11,154
Rush a little.
ELLEN: Oh.
1107
00:49:11,328 --> 00:49:14,354
Come on, cowboy.
Time to shine.
1108
00:49:14,565 --> 00:49:15,589
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
1109
00:49:15,766 --> 00:49:17,961
VIC:
Yeah. Almost. Let's keep going,
just a second.
1110
00:49:18,135 --> 00:49:19,693
I'll be right there,
just a second.
1111
00:49:19,870 --> 00:49:21,098
There we go.
1112
00:49:21,272 --> 00:49:23,331
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1113
00:49:24,074 --> 00:49:25,701
Look at me, not her.
1114
00:49:26,777 --> 00:49:29,871
Look at me, not her. Look at me.
I'm not gonna look at him.
1115
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:31,707
Oh.
Oh. Ah.
1116
00:49:31,882 --> 00:49:35,215
Did your brother finish college?
I know he switched a couple schools.
1117
00:49:35,386 --> 00:49:37,149
Yeah. Oof. Oh.
Yeah.
1118
00:49:37,321 --> 00:49:39,619
Oh. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
1119
00:49:39,790 --> 00:49:42,088
Do me a favor,
count me down.
1120
00:49:42,793 --> 00:49:45,318
Five, four, three--
1121
00:49:45,496 --> 00:49:47,828
Go back to 1 0!
Ten, nine, eight--
1122
00:49:47,998 --> 00:49:51,399
Oh! Your mom's
a good woman.
1123
00:49:51,835 --> 00:49:53,530
A little early on that one.
1124
00:49:54,004 --> 00:49:56,097
[BOTH MOANING AND GRUNTING]
1125
00:49:57,107 --> 00:50:00,201
He just said your mom's
a good woman when he ejaculated,
1126
00:50:00,377 --> 00:50:01,401
just so you know.
1127
00:50:03,113 --> 00:50:05,172
[GRUNTING]
1128
00:50:05,983 --> 00:50:08,645
Holy shit,
I got a second one.
1129
00:50:08,886 --> 00:50:10,513
Holy shit.
1130
00:50:17,861 --> 00:50:21,422
So you kids are
gonna have an orgy?
Hm?
1131
00:50:21,632 --> 00:50:24,066
[DAMON'S "DON'T YOU FEEL ME"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
1132
00:50:26,437 --> 00:50:29,873
ERIC:
So, Vic, as someone that's
clearly done this type of thing
1133
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:33,567
thousands of times, I'm guessing,
we could really use your expertise.
1134
00:50:33,744 --> 00:50:36,440
How do we make sure
that the women are into it?
1135
00:50:36,647 --> 00:50:38,205
The women?
Yeah.
1136
00:50:38,382 --> 00:50:40,942
Don't worry about the women,
worry about you guys.
1137
00:50:41,151 --> 00:50:43,585
Us? What?
1138
00:50:43,754 --> 00:50:46,188
Women are in touch
with their sexuality.
1139
00:50:46,357 --> 00:50:50,657
Guys are much more likely
to freak out at the sight
of someone else's junk.
1140
00:50:51,362 --> 00:50:52,659
Taquito?
1141
00:50:54,765 --> 00:50:58,132
Uh... No, thanks.
I ate just before I came.
1142
00:50:58,302 --> 00:51:02,068
You see? This is
what I'm talking about.
You're scared shitless.
1143
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:04,298
You won't even touch
the taquito.
1144
00:51:04,475 --> 00:51:07,967
It's like it's a cock and you're
afraid to put it in your mouth.
1145
00:51:08,178 --> 00:51:11,375
I swear to God,
I had a bacon cheeseburger
like 45 minutes ago.
1146
00:51:13,584 --> 00:51:15,381
Hi.
McCRUDDEN: Hi.
1147
00:51:15,552 --> 00:51:17,986
Okay, so how
do we make it happen?
1148
00:51:18,188 --> 00:51:20,656
You can't make an orgy happen.
1149
00:51:20,824 --> 00:51:22,655
It has to evolve organically.
1150
00:51:22,826 --> 00:51:25,294
Just because you have a bunch
of naked people in the room
1151
00:51:25,462 --> 00:51:27,293
doesn't mean
you're all going to get it on.
1152
00:51:27,464 --> 00:51:30,058
You might just need a really
intense conversation.
1153
00:51:30,234 --> 00:51:32,828
Sometimes a girl just
wants to have a heart-to-heart,
1154
00:51:33,003 --> 00:51:34,698
and she ends up
pulling a train.
1155
00:51:35,105 --> 00:51:37,403
Uh, pulling a train?
Mm.
1156
00:51:37,574 --> 00:51:39,064
Yeah, you know.
A train.
1157
00:51:39,243 --> 00:51:43,145
Gawk, gawk, gawk.
Chicka-chicka-chicka.
Whoo-whoo!
1158
00:51:43,313 --> 00:51:45,804
Ha-ha-ha.
That's a choo-choo train. Thank you.
1159
00:51:45,983 --> 00:51:47,917
Hey. Ellen, hello.
1160
00:51:48,252 --> 00:51:50,117
Vic.
Two-minute warning.
1161
00:51:50,421 --> 00:51:51,854
ELLEN:
I'm ready whenever you are.
1162
00:51:52,956 --> 00:51:54,924
She always is.
Ah.
1163
00:51:55,426 --> 00:51:57,360
ERIC: Wow. Yes.
One more thing.
1164
00:51:57,528 --> 00:52:00,122
Every wolf pack has a leader.
I take it you're the lead wolf?
1165
00:52:00,297 --> 00:52:03,664
Fucking A.
Uh, yeah. I guess so. Yeah. Yeah.
1166
00:52:03,834 --> 00:52:06,359
VIC:
Well, then it's all
on your shoulders.
1167
00:52:06,537 --> 00:52:10,029
If you don't run,
nobody behind you can run.
1168
00:52:10,240 --> 00:52:12,970
Oh, that's good.
What does that mean? What do I do?
1169
00:52:13,143 --> 00:52:15,441
You have to get naked.
1170
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:17,777
Okay.
1171
00:52:17,948 --> 00:52:20,382
Uh-- I get that.
VIC: Mm-hm.
1172
00:52:20,551 --> 00:52:22,849
Not just your body.
1173
00:52:23,187 --> 00:52:28,454
You've gotta get naked in your mind,
in your heart, in your soul.
1174
00:52:28,625 --> 00:52:31,116
You've gotta be honest
with yourself and everybody
1175
00:52:31,295 --> 00:52:35,288
about what you want. If you're
a pegger, be honest about that.
1176
00:52:35,466 --> 00:52:36,956
Okay.
If you're polyamorous,
1177
00:52:37,134 --> 00:52:38,158
put it out there.
1178
00:52:38,335 --> 00:52:40,496
You want to put on
a diaper, embrace it.
1179
00:52:40,671 --> 00:52:43,697
But trust me, if you put up walls,
everybody's gonna put up walls.
1180
00:52:43,874 --> 00:52:45,637
The whole thing is
dead in the water.
1181
00:52:45,809 --> 00:52:47,401
What is a pegger?
1182
00:52:47,578 --> 00:52:49,569
Chick fucks a dude up the ass
with a strap-on.
1183
00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:53,914
Yeah, not really my bag,
but like I always say,
1184
00:52:54,084 --> 00:52:55,676
I'm willing to try
anything twice.
1185
00:52:55,853 --> 00:52:57,582
[ALL LAUGHING]
1186
00:52:57,788 --> 00:52:58,880
I always say it.
1187
00:52:59,056 --> 00:53:00,489
Ha-ha-ha!
1188
00:53:00,657 --> 00:53:01,715
Hey, guys. Hey!
1189
00:53:02,226 --> 00:53:04,558
Hello, senator. Hello.
1190
00:53:05,996 --> 00:53:07,588
This is a lot to process.
1191
00:53:07,798 --> 00:53:08,822
[VIC SIGHS]
1192
00:53:08,999 --> 00:53:10,159
VIC:
You listen to me.
1193
00:53:10,567 --> 00:53:14,435
You can't force it
and you can't fake it.
1194
00:53:14,605 --> 00:53:16,766
So you better cut the bullshit,
1195
00:53:16,940 --> 00:53:20,376
nut up, and be a man.
1196
00:53:22,179 --> 00:53:23,669
Now if you'll excuse me,
1197
00:53:23,847 --> 00:53:26,042
I feel the blood
rushing back to my sword.
1198
00:53:26,216 --> 00:53:28,013
I noticed that.
1199
00:53:29,386 --> 00:53:31,752
Well, hey, Vic, thank you.
This is all good stuff.
1200
00:53:31,922 --> 00:53:33,753
Good advice.
Yeah. Good. Thank you.
1201
00:53:33,924 --> 00:53:34,948
My pleasure, guys.
1202
00:53:35,125 --> 00:53:37,320
Okay, watch that thing.
This is unnecessary.
1203
00:53:37,694 --> 00:53:39,457
Watch that thing.
1204
00:53:39,897 --> 00:53:41,421
VIC:
Good luck.
1205
00:53:42,466 --> 00:53:43,797
Oh, one more thing.
1206
00:53:43,967 --> 00:53:46,959
Buy some scented candles.
It helps hide the smell of ass.
1207
00:53:47,137 --> 00:53:49,037
Okay. Good, good, good.
1208
00:53:49,206 --> 00:53:51,197
Smart.
Smart, smart, smart.
1209
00:53:51,375 --> 00:53:52,569
Don't eat anything here.
1210
00:53:52,743 --> 00:53:54,438
You son of a bitch.
Don't.
1211
00:53:54,611 --> 00:53:56,704
[ELECTRONICA MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
1212
00:54:00,984 --> 00:54:02,042
Uh-oh.
1213
00:54:02,219 --> 00:54:03,481
Holy shit, is that--?
Oh, boy.
1214
00:54:03,654 --> 00:54:06,054
Keep going.
Don't let her see you.
1215
00:54:09,493 --> 00:54:11,393
MAN 1 : Oh!
MAN 2: Hey, what the fuck?
1216
00:54:14,264 --> 00:54:17,097
ERIC: Oh. Man, oh, man. All right.
KELLY: That was good?
1217
00:54:17,267 --> 00:54:18,564
That was good.
Yeah.
1218
00:54:18,735 --> 00:54:19,827
Yeah, okay, here we go.
1219
00:54:20,003 --> 00:54:21,903
You ready?
Showtime.
1220
00:54:23,373 --> 00:54:25,398
Sh-- Shit.
1221
00:54:25,576 --> 00:54:26,838
I'm gonna count that.
Okay.
1222
00:54:27,010 --> 00:54:28,671
I'm gonna count that there.
Okay.
1223
00:54:28,879 --> 00:54:31,575
Yeah, it's juvenile.
I've been meaning
to ask you something.
1224
00:54:31,748 --> 00:54:34,239
What?
What's Dody like as a boss?
1225
00:54:34,418 --> 00:54:38,013
She just seems like
she could be a little,
you know, domineering.
1226
00:54:38,188 --> 00:54:41,954
Oh, my gosh, no.
I mean, she's not what
you think, you know.
1227
00:54:42,125 --> 00:54:44,423
I mean, of course,
at work she's all business,
1228
00:54:44,595 --> 00:54:46,859
but, Eric, she has
traveled the world.
1229
00:54:47,030 --> 00:54:49,294
No shit.
She speaks all these languages.
1230
00:54:49,466 --> 00:54:51,934
Wow.
She's just full of surprises.
1231
00:54:52,102 --> 00:54:53,626
Oh, I bet she is.
1232
00:54:53,804 --> 00:54:55,931
I bet she's been places
I can only imagine.
1233
00:54:56,273 --> 00:54:59,106
So, like, now that
you're super into me...
1234
00:54:59,276 --> 00:55:00,607
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
1235
00:55:00,777 --> 00:55:03,507
No, there's something
I actually have to tell you.
1236
00:55:03,680 --> 00:55:05,147
Sincerely I, um...
Really?
1237
00:55:05,315 --> 00:55:07,283
Yeah, I kind of misled you.
Uh...
1238
00:55:07,451 --> 00:55:12,320
What you saw today was
not an actual representation
of my Frisbee golf skills.
1239
00:55:12,489 --> 00:55:14,616
Yeah. I let you win.
1240
00:55:14,791 --> 00:55:16,452
Really?
Yeah.
1241
00:55:16,627 --> 00:55:18,618
So I want a rematch.
Like, bigtime.
1242
00:55:19,496 --> 00:55:21,964
Or you could just stick
to sucking at pool.
1243
00:55:22,633 --> 00:55:24,123
Ooh.
1244
00:55:24,301 --> 00:55:26,462
Sss!
Oh.
1245
00:55:27,004 --> 00:55:28,995
[ddd]
1246
00:55:31,675 --> 00:55:32,903
One more.
1247
00:55:33,076 --> 00:55:34,304
That's it, though.
No.
1248
00:55:34,478 --> 00:55:36,537
That was the last one.
That's for the road.
1249
00:55:36,713 --> 00:55:37,805
I will call you.
1250
00:55:38,181 --> 00:55:40,081
Okay.
All right.
1251
00:55:40,250 --> 00:55:42,309
See you.
Hey, um...
1252
00:55:43,487 --> 00:55:45,819
What are you doing
for Labor Day?
1253
00:55:46,857 --> 00:55:49,257
Oh, yeah. Is that--?
Yeah, Labor Day.
1254
00:55:49,459 --> 00:55:51,222
Um, you know what?
1255
00:55:51,395 --> 00:55:54,091
The guys and the crew,
we're all gonna, um...
1256
00:55:54,264 --> 00:55:56,164
We're doing
this small little thing,
1257
00:55:56,333 --> 00:55:58,824
this intimate little thing.
Nothing-- Nothing special.
1258
00:55:59,002 --> 00:56:01,493
Well, I was thinking
that maybe, you know,
1259
00:56:01,672 --> 00:56:04,334
your friends and my friends
could get together.
1260
00:56:04,508 --> 00:56:05,736
Yeah.
1261
00:56:05,909 --> 00:56:07,342
Oh, that sounds great.
Yeah?
1262
00:56:07,511 --> 00:56:09,411
We should definitely
look into that maybe.
1263
00:56:09,579 --> 00:56:11,012
Yeah. It'd be fun.
1264
00:56:11,181 --> 00:56:13,911
So, wait, Eric, is that--?
Is that a maybe?
1265
00:56:14,084 --> 00:56:17,178
Yeah, it's a maybe.
It's a definite maybe.
It's a hard, hard maybe.
1266
00:56:17,354 --> 00:56:19,413
We should definitely
think about doing that.
1267
00:56:19,589 --> 00:56:21,853
Let's lock it in as a possibility.
1268
00:56:22,025 --> 00:56:23,219
Okay.
Okay.
1269
00:56:23,393 --> 00:56:25,623
I'll call you about it.
1270
00:56:25,796 --> 00:56:26,922
Or write you.
1271
00:56:27,097 --> 00:56:28,894
Heh, okay.
1272
00:56:29,066 --> 00:56:31,364
Carrier pigeon. Something.
I'll get a hold of you.
1273
00:56:31,535 --> 00:56:33,230
Good night, Eric.
Good night, Kelly.
1274
00:56:34,771 --> 00:56:37,797
[ddd]
1275
00:56:39,242 --> 00:56:42,040
[GRUNTING]
1276
00:56:44,881 --> 00:56:46,746
[GROANS]
1277
00:56:50,754 --> 00:56:52,085
Hey.
Hi.
1278
00:56:52,255 --> 00:56:54,450
What are you doing up?
Oh, I never went down.
1279
00:56:54,624 --> 00:56:58,082
Stayed up drinking with
a dude from Blues Traveler
in the Talkhouse parking lot.
1280
00:56:58,261 --> 00:57:02,459
Like an hour ago, fucking dude
says the bubonic plague is back.
1281
00:57:02,632 --> 00:57:04,896
Great. Another thing
to worry about.
1282
00:57:06,470 --> 00:57:08,062
What are you doing up?
1283
00:57:08,438 --> 00:57:10,929
I got a bit
of a situation.
1284
00:57:11,108 --> 00:57:12,905
Hit me.
1285
00:57:13,076 --> 00:57:16,739
Okay, but first off,
you can't tell anyone.
1286
00:57:16,913 --> 00:57:18,676
Dude, look who you're talking to.
1287
00:57:18,849 --> 00:57:20,612
It's the vault.
Seriously.
1288
00:57:20,784 --> 00:57:23,150
A lot of people tell people
you can't tell someone,
1289
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:26,255
and those people
go and tell someone.
That cannot happen.
1290
00:57:26,423 --> 00:57:28,755
Hey. You tell no one.
1291
00:57:28,925 --> 00:57:30,586
Not even Rodrigo?
1292
00:57:30,761 --> 00:57:34,094
Why would you tell
a 50-year-old Guatemalan
landscaper about my life?
1293
00:57:34,264 --> 00:57:36,789
Because he's a good
sounding board, okay?
1294
00:57:36,967 --> 00:57:40,130
But if you're gonna
get all weird about it,
I won't tell Rodrigo.
1295
00:57:40,303 --> 00:57:42,294
I appreciate it.
1296
00:57:43,273 --> 00:57:45,173
I went on a date last night.
1297
00:57:45,342 --> 00:57:46,604
So far, so good.
1298
00:57:46,777 --> 00:57:47,801
With the Realtor chick.
1299
00:57:48,812 --> 00:57:50,302
Dody Henderson?
Did she peg you?
1300
00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:53,278
No, not Dody.
I went out with Kelly.
1301
00:57:53,450 --> 00:57:54,610
Oh, thank the Lord.
1302
00:57:54,785 --> 00:57:56,776
I felt bad for your
butt hole for a minute.
1303
00:57:56,953 --> 00:57:57,977
Heh, heh.
Yeah.
1304
00:57:58,155 --> 00:58:02,353
Yeah, and I think
we've got a problem because
1305
00:58:03,293 --> 00:58:04,954
I really kind of dig her now.
1306
00:58:06,630 --> 00:58:08,962
I don't know what to do
about the orgy situation.
1307
00:58:09,132 --> 00:58:10,497
Are you fucking with me?
1308
00:58:10,667 --> 00:58:12,794
I know.
What are the odds?
1309
00:58:12,969 --> 00:58:14,698
I mean, seriously,
I'm smack dab
1310
00:58:14,871 --> 00:58:16,532
in the middle
of organizing an orgy.
1311
00:58:16,706 --> 00:58:18,037
Orgy, yeah.
Yes. Yeah.
1312
00:58:18,208 --> 00:58:20,642
And I meet the first girl
in a long time
1313
00:58:20,811 --> 00:58:23,336
that I can see myself
having a relationship with.
1314
00:58:23,647 --> 00:58:26,207
Hmm.
I gotta tell her about the orgy.
1315
00:58:26,383 --> 00:58:28,317
What? Ha-ha-ha!
1316
00:58:28,485 --> 00:58:30,817
No. No. It's so stupid.
1317
00:58:30,987 --> 00:58:33,217
No. Listen to me. No, no.
1318
00:58:33,390 --> 00:58:36,882
You don't ever, ever, ever
tell her about our little soiree here.
1319
00:58:37,060 --> 00:58:38,493
Ever.
1320
00:58:38,662 --> 00:58:40,152
Have you porked her yet?
1321
00:58:40,330 --> 00:58:42,662
Oh, goddamn it, Mike.
I hate when you say stuff.
1322
00:58:42,833 --> 00:58:44,858
No. No, we've kissed.
1323
00:58:45,035 --> 00:58:46,730
Kissed, good. Okay, good.
1324
00:58:46,903 --> 00:58:49,337
Keep it PG until
after Labor Day, okay?
1325
00:58:49,506 --> 00:58:52,873
As long as you haven't
had the exclusivity talk,
and you're not boning...
1326
00:58:53,043 --> 00:58:54,840
Yeah, I know.
Then you, my friend,
1327
00:58:55,011 --> 00:58:56,171
are a free agent.
1328
00:58:56,346 --> 00:58:58,280
Mm, I don't know, dude.
1329
00:58:58,448 --> 00:59:02,509
Listen to me.
You do not know what or who
1330
00:59:02,686 --> 00:59:04,551
she's been doing
in her free time, ace.
1331
00:59:04,721 --> 00:59:07,918
So just keep it in your pants
until apres Labor Day
1332
00:59:08,091 --> 00:59:09,718
and then
it'll just be this crazy,
1333
00:59:09,893 --> 00:59:13,021
wet, vivid, erotic
1334
00:59:13,196 --> 00:59:16,529
sexual misadventure
in your past
1335
00:59:16,700 --> 00:59:19,533
that you never have to
tell her about.
1336
00:59:23,874 --> 00:59:24,898
Okay.
1337
00:59:25,075 --> 00:59:27,043
Okay?
All right, that's the plan.
1338
00:59:27,210 --> 00:59:30,270
Thank you.
That was oddly helpful.
1339
00:59:30,447 --> 00:59:33,382
I am not just a pretty face.
1340
00:59:33,550 --> 00:59:34,574
[ddd]
1341
00:59:34,751 --> 00:59:36,116
ADAM:
Oof, magoof.
1342
00:59:36,286 --> 00:59:38,311
Daddy really needs
to get in shape.
1343
00:59:38,488 --> 00:59:40,547
Oh, I'm with you.
I may even cut out carbs,
1344
00:59:40,724 --> 00:59:43,124
except for pizza
and sandwiches, obviously.
1345
00:59:43,827 --> 00:59:47,729
Are you guys worried
at all about performing
in front of everyone else?
1346
00:59:48,431 --> 00:59:50,422
Look, it's not a race.
1347
00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:52,625
Well, assuming
that we can all get wood,
1348
00:59:52,802 --> 00:59:54,565
one of us will have
the smallest dick.
1349
00:59:54,738 --> 00:59:57,605
And I, for one, do not wanna
have the smallest dick.
1350
00:59:57,774 --> 00:59:58,798
Okay. Two things.
1351
00:59:58,975 --> 01:00:02,570
The ladies are gonna be
too concerned about their
bodies to think about yours.
1352
01:00:02,746 --> 01:00:05,078
And secondly, that's all myth.
1353
01:00:05,982 --> 01:00:07,745
Women do not care
about penis size.
1354
01:00:07,918 --> 01:00:10,318
Who do you think
has the biggest dick?
1355
01:00:10,487 --> 01:00:11,579
I think I know.
1356
01:00:12,355 --> 01:00:15,415
Boom. Ah!
You're next, Uncle Addie.
1357
01:00:15,592 --> 01:00:17,355
Whoa. Whoa, whoa.
1358
01:00:17,527 --> 01:00:20,291
No one fucking said anything
about giving any fucking blood.
1359
01:00:20,463 --> 01:00:21,760
Oops.
And can someone explain
1360
01:00:21,932 --> 01:00:25,925
why they need to puncture
your vein to find out if there's
a problem with your shvantz?
1361
01:00:26,102 --> 01:00:28,332
Summer after freshman year,
1362
01:00:28,505 --> 01:00:32,464
Yeah?
I walked in on one of the guys
1363
01:00:32,642 --> 01:00:34,542
whacking off.
1364
01:00:34,744 --> 01:00:36,837
Shut up. Who?
I won't say.
1365
01:00:37,013 --> 01:00:38,378
No, no, no, who?
Who? Who?
1366
01:00:38,548 --> 01:00:44,145
I'm not gonna tell you,
but I will say that
it was a monster.
1367
01:00:44,321 --> 01:00:46,983
Hey. That is my blood.
1368
01:00:47,157 --> 01:00:48,624
That used to be
inside you.
1369
01:00:48,792 --> 01:00:49,850
I'm gonna lie down.
1370
01:00:50,026 --> 01:00:51,653
What?
Duquez, Duquez!
1371
01:00:51,828 --> 01:00:53,796
You gotta give us ballpark--
Right, right.
1372
01:00:53,964 --> 01:00:54,953
Like is that...?
1373
01:00:55,131 --> 01:00:57,326
It's more like--
It was like that.
1374
01:00:57,500 --> 01:00:58,865
What?
But the head.
1375
01:00:59,035 --> 01:01:00,559
What?
It's even bigger.
1376
01:01:00,770 --> 01:01:01,964
Mama likes.
1377
01:01:02,138 --> 01:01:03,969
I don't know
if you're gonna like it.
1378
01:01:06,076 --> 01:01:08,408
McCRUDDEN:
Oh, hi.
1379
01:01:08,578 --> 01:01:09,806
KELLY:
Eric?
1380
01:01:09,980 --> 01:01:12,244
Kelly. Uh, we're just
heading back to the city.
1381
01:01:12,415 --> 01:01:14,212
We'll be in touch this week.
Good.
1382
01:01:14,384 --> 01:01:15,408
Regarding the house.
1383
01:01:15,585 --> 01:01:18,486
Of course, the house, yes.
Yeah, I'll page you.
1384
01:01:20,991 --> 01:01:23,357
Dody.
Eric.
1385
01:01:23,526 --> 01:01:25,391
The password this week
is unicorn.
1386
01:01:26,563 --> 01:01:28,588
Well, I don't know
if that'll be nece--
1387
01:01:32,836 --> 01:01:35,327
[ART VS SCIENCE'S
"PARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS?"
PLAYING]
1388
01:01:39,843 --> 01:01:42,038
d Moving up and downLike an elevator dd
1389
01:01:42,212 --> 01:01:43,679
[BUZZING]
1390
01:01:44,614 --> 01:01:47,082
We're here to shareour experiences
1391
01:01:47,250 --> 01:01:51,016
in creating the perfect orgyof your personal fantasies.
1392
01:01:51,187 --> 01:01:53,883
[WOMEN MOANING]
1393
01:01:54,057 --> 01:01:55,957
[ALL YELLING]
1394
01:01:56,126 --> 01:01:58,594
ERIC:
See that? Everybody's
always touching two people.
1395
01:01:58,762 --> 01:02:00,525
McCRUDDEN:
A little teamwork.
1396
01:02:00,697 --> 01:02:02,221
They're playing
good team ball.
1397
01:02:02,399 --> 01:02:04,697
ERIC:
Okay, I think we get the picture.
1398
01:02:04,868 --> 01:02:07,029
[WOMEN MOANING ON TV]
1399
01:02:09,039 --> 01:02:11,530
[ALL LAUGHING]
1400
01:02:11,775 --> 01:02:13,470
ADAM:
McCrudds, you want some pizza?
1401
01:02:13,643 --> 01:02:15,270
No, I'm not hungry.
Thank you.
1402
01:02:15,445 --> 01:02:17,538
Got an all-l-can-eat buffet
going right here.
1403
01:02:18,748 --> 01:02:20,613
Let me try.
Try this.
1404
01:02:21,217 --> 01:02:22,548
What is that?
1405
01:02:25,455 --> 01:02:27,218
WOMAN [ON TV]: Oh!
MAN [ON TV]: Shit!
1406
01:02:27,390 --> 01:02:29,722
Oh, he's doing my move.
Look at that.
1407
01:02:29,893 --> 01:02:31,884
He knows the Thoosh.
1408
01:02:34,864 --> 01:02:36,092
LAURA:
Hey, you guys? Guys.
1409
01:02:36,266 --> 01:02:40,566
Back to the music. Are we--?
Are we really gonna listen
to Indian the whole night?
1410
01:02:40,737 --> 01:02:43,433
I think it might get a little--
Cab ride-y? Agreed. Yeah.
1411
01:02:43,606 --> 01:02:45,904
I'm working on
a killer playlist right now.
1412
01:02:46,076 --> 01:02:47,737
Got some obscure Radiohead.
1413
01:02:47,911 --> 01:02:49,936
Who has sex
to Radiohead?
1414
01:02:50,113 --> 01:02:51,944
Thom Yorke.
1415
01:02:52,115 --> 01:02:53,480
No Radiohead.
No Radiohead.
1416
01:02:53,650 --> 01:02:56,778
I think we need something
sensual, like Sting.
1417
01:02:56,953 --> 01:02:58,318
I love Sting.
McCRUDDEN: No.
1418
01:02:58,488 --> 01:03:00,752
Unacceptable.
Absolutely not fucking Sting.
1419
01:03:00,924 --> 01:03:03,586
That's bullshit, man.
If Sting comes on
the fucking stereo,
1420
01:03:03,760 --> 01:03:05,193
guess who's walking.
This guy.
1421
01:03:05,395 --> 01:03:07,420
Sting, it is then.
1422
01:03:07,597 --> 01:03:09,462
[ALL LAUGH AND GROAN]
1423
01:03:09,632 --> 01:03:12,157
So I...
Yeah?
1424
01:03:12,335 --> 01:03:13,632
got you a little present.
1425
01:03:13,803 --> 01:03:14,827
Really?
Mm-hm.
1426
01:03:15,205 --> 01:03:17,867
It's filled with some great things
for next weekend.
1427
01:03:18,041 --> 01:03:20,134
It's not my birthday. Oh.
1428
01:03:20,310 --> 01:03:21,470
Hey.
Yeah.
1429
01:03:21,644 --> 01:03:25,171
ERIC: Look, oh, boy.
Oh, wow. Look at that guy.
He's like a Swiss Army dude.
1430
01:03:25,348 --> 01:03:27,612
Wow, that's great.
People are gonna love that.
1431
01:03:27,784 --> 01:03:30,218
Just so you know...
Mm-hm?
1432
01:03:30,420 --> 01:03:32,320
I'm not wearing
any underwear right now.
1433
01:03:32,489 --> 01:03:33,854
Ew, on these stools?
1434
01:03:34,023 --> 01:03:35,786
Well, well, well,
the gang's all here.
1435
01:03:35,959 --> 01:03:37,654
ERIC:
Paciellio!
1436
01:03:37,827 --> 01:03:39,317
Hi.
Paciellio.
1437
01:03:39,496 --> 01:03:40,554
[ALL CHEERING]
1438
01:03:40,730 --> 01:03:42,527
Hi, guys.
What's up?
1439
01:03:42,699 --> 01:03:44,496
We have some business
to discuss.
1440
01:03:44,667 --> 01:03:50,299
Right. So Glenn and I
have talked it over and...
1441
01:03:51,474 --> 01:03:53,874
we would like to be
included in the orgy.
1442
01:03:55,478 --> 01:03:57,469
We're in.
1443
01:03:57,647 --> 01:03:58,705
We wanna do it.
1444
01:04:00,483 --> 01:04:01,643
[CHUCKLES]
1445
01:04:01,818 --> 01:04:03,718
Um...
1446
01:04:05,488 --> 01:04:06,512
No.
1447
01:04:06,689 --> 01:04:07,815
Why not? What--
What?
1448
01:04:07,991 --> 01:04:09,822
We already lined up
my folks to babysit.
1449
01:04:10,326 --> 01:04:13,762
Guys, guys, as a friend
and a mental-health professional,
1450
01:04:13,963 --> 01:04:15,726
I think it is
a horrible idea.
1451
01:04:15,899 --> 01:04:17,992
If you feel disconnected,
I understand--
1452
01:04:18,168 --> 01:04:20,830
Alison, with all due respect,
1453
01:04:21,004 --> 01:04:23,336
you're an MA,
I'm an MD.
1454
01:04:23,706 --> 01:04:25,196
You're a podiatrist.
1455
01:04:25,375 --> 01:04:27,036
Okay, let's take a vote.
1456
01:04:27,210 --> 01:04:29,440
How many people want us in?
Right.
1457
01:04:29,612 --> 01:04:32,740
I would just like to say
that I think they maybe
have a point here.
1458
01:04:32,916 --> 01:04:36,215
Just because they have
a baby doesn't mean
we should discriminate.
1459
01:04:36,386 --> 01:04:39,583
Plus, Kate's rack
is killer right now.
1460
01:04:39,756 --> 01:04:41,348
Thank you, Michael.
Yeah.
1461
01:04:41,524 --> 01:04:45,016
Jesus, Mike, are you insane?
No. No, no.
1462
01:04:45,195 --> 01:04:48,062
Dude, dude, dude, 1 0 o'clock.
Ten o'clock. My 1 0, my 1 0.
1463
01:04:49,365 --> 01:04:50,696
Shit.
1464
01:04:50,867 --> 01:04:53,529
Hey! Look who it is.
1465
01:04:53,703 --> 01:04:55,193
Hi, there it is.
1466
01:04:55,371 --> 01:04:57,236
Hey, uh, this is my Realtor,
Kelly.
1467
01:04:57,407 --> 01:04:59,102
This is the group,
the gang.
1468
01:04:59,275 --> 01:05:00,902
Hi, Kelly.
Hi, Kelly.
1469
01:05:01,077 --> 01:05:03,443
Gosh, I've heard so much
about all of you guys.
1470
01:05:03,613 --> 01:05:05,103
How? When?
1471
01:05:05,281 --> 01:05:07,875
What? Why?
What's she talking about?
Let's get a drink.
1472
01:05:08,051 --> 01:05:09,643
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1473
01:05:10,787 --> 01:05:13,585
You think
we couldn't handle this
because we're parents?
1474
01:05:13,756 --> 01:05:16,748
Well, we can handle shit
that you can't even imagine.
1475
01:05:16,926 --> 01:05:19,486
You know, you motherfuckers
have no idea.
1476
01:05:19,662 --> 01:05:21,061
That's right.
GLENN: No idea.
1477
01:05:21,231 --> 01:05:23,392
KATE: Come on.
You-- You--
1478
01:05:23,566 --> 01:05:25,557
You're all lightweights.
1479
01:05:25,735 --> 01:05:28,499
You are all playing JV ball.
1480
01:05:28,671 --> 01:05:29,729
Lightweights.
Whoa.
1481
01:05:29,906 --> 01:05:31,771
All right, Glenn.
KATE: Come on, honey.
1482
01:05:32,809 --> 01:05:36,108
On a lighter note,
I have this present.
1483
01:05:36,279 --> 01:05:38,406
[BUZZING]
1484
01:05:38,581 --> 01:05:39,741
Dildos.
1485
01:05:39,916 --> 01:05:42,817
You know, in a pinch,
this would be great
for a toothbrush.
1486
01:05:45,755 --> 01:05:47,279
And I have no idea
what this is.
1487
01:05:47,457 --> 01:05:49,755
Hey, Eric, what's up
with all the dildos?
1488
01:05:49,926 --> 01:05:52,918
Hey, those are my friends.
Hey, what's going on with
the house?
1489
01:05:53,096 --> 01:05:57,829
Um, I've been able to slow
things down to buy you
till the end of the summer.
1490
01:05:58,434 --> 01:05:59,958
Really?
Yeah.
1491
01:06:00,703 --> 01:06:02,762
Oh, you're the best.
1492
01:06:05,108 --> 01:06:06,439
Thank you so much.
1493
01:06:06,609 --> 01:06:08,133
What is that?
What?
1494
01:06:08,311 --> 01:06:09,835
What's going on?
Nothing.
1495
01:06:10,013 --> 01:06:11,776
He told me not to tell
anybody so...
1496
01:06:11,948 --> 01:06:13,279
Yeah, okay.
You know.
1497
01:06:14,450 --> 01:06:16,008
Keep it on the down-Iow.
Yeah.
1498
01:06:16,185 --> 01:06:17,982
He asked her out
to get them to stall.
1499
01:06:18,154 --> 01:06:19,712
Went on a couple dates,
likes her,
1500
01:06:19,889 --> 01:06:23,381
doesn't want to sleep with her
before the orgy because
it's wrong to do both.
1501
01:06:23,593 --> 01:06:25,458
Oh. He doesn't wanna
sleep with her.
1502
01:06:25,628 --> 01:06:27,789
That actually means
he likes her.
1503
01:06:27,964 --> 01:06:28,953
Oh.
ALISON: Awesome.
1504
01:06:29,132 --> 01:06:30,793
Hey. Dildo wave.
1505
01:06:30,967 --> 01:06:32,958
ALISON: Hi.
ALL: Hi.
1506
01:06:35,805 --> 01:06:38,467
[ddd]
1507
01:06:51,154 --> 01:06:52,678
Phew!
1508
01:06:52,855 --> 01:06:55,415
Yo, maharajah,
wanna get my back for me?
1509
01:06:55,625 --> 01:06:57,718
What is this shit?
Self tanner, man.
1510
01:06:57,894 --> 01:06:59,725
I wanna look like a porn star.
1511
01:06:59,896 --> 01:07:02,228
Fuck me, I just stroked out
my third batch du jour.
1512
01:07:02,398 --> 01:07:06,164
You boys might wanna do
the same. Don't wanna come
quick like a bunch of amateurs.
1513
01:07:06,336 --> 01:07:09,134
Oh, God.
I am not touching you.
1514
01:07:10,139 --> 01:07:12,164
Ah, fuck it.
I'm gonna whack it again.
1515
01:07:12,342 --> 01:07:15,072
LAURA: You look so pretty.
So do you.
1516
01:07:15,244 --> 01:07:16,268
Thank you.
1517
01:07:16,446 --> 01:07:17,845
I love it.
1518
01:07:18,014 --> 01:07:19,572
ERIC:
Consider yourself warned.
1519
01:07:19,749 --> 01:07:23,116
This absinthe is the real deal.
I had it flown in from Amsterdam.
1520
01:07:23,286 --> 01:07:27,518
The guy that sold it to me
said it's the stuff Van Gogh
was on when he cut his ear off.
1521
01:07:27,690 --> 01:07:28,850
Oh, no.
McCRUDDEN: Uh-oh.
1522
01:07:29,025 --> 01:07:30,754
It's gonna be
a starry night, huh?
1523
01:07:30,927 --> 01:07:32,053
It smells like licorice.
1524
01:07:32,228 --> 01:07:34,560
A toast. A toast.
1525
01:07:34,731 --> 01:07:36,221
To friends.
ADAM: Ohh.
1526
01:07:36,399 --> 01:07:37,764
ERIC: To friends.
ALL: Ohh.
1527
01:07:37,934 --> 01:07:42,030
And to making sweet love
with, to, near...
1528
01:07:42,205 --> 01:07:43,433
On.
In.
1529
01:07:43,606 --> 01:07:45,699
Under. And behind.
1530
01:07:45,875 --> 01:07:47,866
[ALL GROAN]
1531
01:07:48,044 --> 01:07:49,773
All right, salud.L'chaim!
1532
01:07:53,116 --> 01:07:54,708
Hagalaka.
1533
01:07:54,884 --> 01:07:56,875
ERIC:
Whoo! Sober. Never more.
1534
01:07:57,053 --> 01:07:58,918
[GRUNTS]
1535
01:07:59,088 --> 01:08:00,885
[CLICKS TONGUE]
1536
01:08:03,226 --> 01:08:04,625
[SIGHS]
1537
01:08:05,228 --> 01:08:06,889
The pillows look really nice.
1538
01:08:07,063 --> 01:08:08,394
ALL:
Yeah.
1539
01:08:08,564 --> 01:08:10,464
These Crate and Barrel or...?
1540
01:08:19,075 --> 01:08:20,099
You guys look great.
1541
01:08:20,276 --> 01:08:21,402
Oh, thanks.
1542
01:08:21,577 --> 01:08:22,908
You look so fucking hot.
1543
01:08:23,079 --> 01:08:25,912
I'm just being honest.
I wanna lick your belly button.
1544
01:08:26,082 --> 01:08:29,108
And yours,
your belly button's nice too.
You got a good one too.
1545
01:08:29,285 --> 01:08:32,413
I haven't seen yours,
but I'm gonna lick the shit
out of that thing.
1546
01:08:32,588 --> 01:08:33,919
Wow.
1547
01:08:34,090 --> 01:08:36,923
As the de facto lead wolf,
right?
1548
01:08:37,093 --> 01:08:39,823
I, uh--
I should kick this mofo off,
1549
01:08:39,996 --> 01:08:43,124
but I gotta be honest with you.
I have no idea what to do, so...
1550
01:08:43,299 --> 01:08:44,766
Lead wolf?
Oh, yeah.
1551
01:08:44,934 --> 01:08:48,097
You had to be there kind of.
Tut-tut-tut. Okay.
1552
01:08:48,271 --> 01:08:50,762
Listen up, everybody.
As per usual,
1553
01:08:50,940 --> 01:08:53,807
it is up to me
to get this party started.
1554
01:08:53,976 --> 01:08:57,275
Hang on.
I got something for you.
Hang on a second, ladies.
1555
01:08:57,447 --> 01:08:59,847
[ALL LAUGHING]
1556
01:09:00,016 --> 01:09:02,280
[ALL CHEERING]
1557
01:09:02,452 --> 01:09:04,886
Yeah, rock 'n' roll.
Holy moly.
1558
01:09:05,054 --> 01:09:06,112
We're on safari now.
1559
01:09:06,289 --> 01:09:07,347
Yeah.
1560
01:09:07,523 --> 01:09:08,990
How many leopards had to die?
1561
01:09:09,158 --> 01:09:11,285
Just one big old kinky leopard.
1562
01:09:12,662 --> 01:09:14,027
They won't kick us out.
1563
01:09:14,197 --> 01:09:16,028
If we're here,
they won't kick us out.
1564
01:09:16,199 --> 01:09:18,565
Okay.
They won't do it.
1565
01:09:18,768 --> 01:09:21,760
And we're totally sure
we wanna do this?
1566
01:09:22,772 --> 01:09:24,706
Yeah.
Yeah.
1567
01:09:25,341 --> 01:09:28,538
Somebody do something. Huh?
1568
01:09:28,711 --> 01:09:31,475
All right? Anybody?
1569
01:09:32,315 --> 01:09:36,649
All right, fuck it. I'm gonna call it.
Sue, kiss Alison. I'm gonna start
touching myself.
1570
01:09:36,819 --> 01:09:40,482
Oh. We could start with a
back-rub circle like in college.
1571
01:09:40,656 --> 01:09:42,055
[MEN GROAN]
1572
01:09:43,226 --> 01:09:45,387
I'll get things started.
1573
01:09:45,561 --> 01:09:46,994
Yes. Yeah!
1574
01:09:47,163 --> 01:09:49,188
Here we go.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1575
01:09:50,032 --> 01:09:53,024
I'm sorry, I can't.
I can't do this anymore.
1576
01:09:53,202 --> 01:09:54,829
I can't.
I can't do this. I'm sorry.
1577
01:09:55,004 --> 01:09:57,165
[IMITATES CHICKEN CLUCKING]
1578
01:09:57,340 --> 01:09:58,329
I knew it.
1579
01:09:58,508 --> 01:10:00,669
I knew you'd fucking
puss out, man.
1580
01:10:00,843 --> 01:10:03,073
I'm not pussing out.
I'm in a relationship
1581
01:10:03,246 --> 01:10:06,079
that I really appreciate.
And I don't wanna fuck this up.
1582
01:10:06,249 --> 01:10:09,013
Classic Duquez. You know,
it's like doughnuts, no doughnuts,
1583
01:10:09,185 --> 01:10:11,016
hat, no hat, orgy, no orgy.
1584
01:10:11,187 --> 01:10:13,018
We take a look-see
through the window
1585
01:10:13,189 --> 01:10:15,680
and if it looks, like,
too freaky or lame,
1586
01:10:15,858 --> 01:10:17,382
Yeah.
we take off.
1587
01:10:17,560 --> 01:10:21,621
And if it looks,
you know, cool, we go in.
1588
01:10:21,831 --> 01:10:23,423
Okay?
Okay.
1589
01:10:23,599 --> 01:10:25,032
I'm not mad at you.
1590
01:10:25,201 --> 01:10:27,533
Eric, Eric. I love
what's going on here,
1591
01:10:27,703 --> 01:10:29,762
but I don't think
you need to insult.
1592
01:10:29,939 --> 01:10:32,533
You should actually communicate.
My God, Alison, please.
1593
01:10:32,708 --> 01:10:36,200
Give it a rest? Just one night?
You're uncomfortable with emotion.
1594
01:10:36,379 --> 01:10:38,870
Oh, yeah, I can't. I'm the
only one here with issues.
1595
01:10:39,048 --> 01:10:41,710
It's just me? What about you
and your relationship?
1596
01:10:41,884 --> 01:10:43,044
We broke up.
You broke up?
1597
01:10:43,219 --> 01:10:44,208
Yes.
You broke up?
1598
01:10:44,387 --> 01:10:47,720
Like you broke up
a couple years ago at the
Oktoberfest in July party?
1599
01:10:47,890 --> 01:10:49,949
That kind?
What happened on Oktoberfest?
1600
01:10:50,126 --> 01:10:53,391
This one tells me
that her and Marcus
are broken up. Over.
1601
01:10:53,563 --> 01:10:56,589
We're joking, having drinks,
she tells me about it, we hook up.
1602
01:10:56,766 --> 01:10:59,291
Next morning, she's having
brunch with the guy.
1603
01:10:59,468 --> 01:11:01,766
Whoa, whoa, wait? What?
1604
01:11:01,938 --> 01:11:03,235
You never told me this.
1605
01:11:03,406 --> 01:11:07,137
Sue, I don't need to tell you
because nothing happened.
We didn't sleep together.
1606
01:11:07,310 --> 01:11:09,642
You told me it was a blowjob,
she wouldn't swallow.
1607
01:11:09,812 --> 01:11:11,939
No, I did not, Mike.
I did not say that.
1608
01:11:12,114 --> 01:11:14,582
It was a fucking hand job.
Hand job. That's right.
1609
01:11:14,750 --> 01:11:16,809
It was a hand job.
I'm sorry. My bad.
1610
01:11:16,986 --> 01:11:19,147
ALISON: Please don't go there.
SUE: No, no, no.
1611
01:11:19,322 --> 01:11:22,655
Alison, shut up.
You're a hypocrite.
1612
01:11:22,825 --> 01:11:24,087
What's going on?
1613
01:11:24,260 --> 01:11:28,594
First of all, they're dressed
like Indians from India.
1614
01:11:28,764 --> 01:11:30,664
That makes much more sense.
Yeah.
1615
01:11:30,833 --> 01:11:33,597
This is why I don't tell you.
You could've given him a blowjob.
1616
01:11:33,769 --> 01:11:36,101
Why didn't you fuck him?
Why don't you get over it?
1617
01:11:36,272 --> 01:11:39,105
How long are you gonna be
obsessed with Eric?
1618
01:11:40,109 --> 01:11:41,133
Oh, shit.
1619
01:11:42,178 --> 01:11:43,668
Wait, what?
1620
01:11:45,147 --> 01:11:47,115
Okay, okay.
1621
01:11:47,283 --> 01:11:49,444
"Urch" your brakes on,
people.
1622
01:11:49,619 --> 01:11:52,144
We are rapidly losing
the erotic vibe.
1623
01:11:52,788 --> 01:11:56,280
I'm gonna get this party rocking
right here in a major way.
1624
01:11:56,459 --> 01:11:57,983
What you got, man?
1625
01:11:58,160 --> 01:12:00,526
Ready, set, here we go.
1626
01:12:00,696 --> 01:12:02,960
Oh! Let loose
the Kraken.
1627
01:12:03,132 --> 01:12:04,997
Yeah!
1628
01:12:05,167 --> 01:12:08,136
Will you give it a break, Mike?
This shit's pathetic.
1629
01:12:08,304 --> 01:12:10,864
Oh, fuck you. You fucking pussy.
You're lame.
1630
01:12:11,040 --> 01:12:12,473
You're the lame one, man.
1631
01:12:12,642 --> 01:12:15,975
You don't have a job.
You don't have a girlfriend.
You follow Eric around
1632
01:12:16,145 --> 01:12:19,478
and do everything he tells you to do.
You're like his little fucking pet.
1633
01:12:22,218 --> 01:12:23,810
Dougie.
1634
01:12:23,986 --> 01:12:25,010
Fuck you, Doug.
1635
01:12:29,759 --> 01:12:33,695
Is that what you think of me?
You think that I'm his--?
You think I'm his fucking pet?
1636
01:12:33,863 --> 01:12:35,524
ALL:
No.
1637
01:12:36,265 --> 01:12:39,723
He meant pet in a nice way.
1638
01:12:42,505 --> 01:12:44,496
Is he fucking with me right now?
1639
01:12:44,974 --> 01:12:47,875
This is the worst orgy ever.
1640
01:12:48,044 --> 01:12:50,035
Should we just go home
or...?
1641
01:12:50,212 --> 01:12:51,679
No.
1642
01:12:51,847 --> 01:12:54,042
We already got a sitter.
1643
01:12:54,216 --> 01:12:56,707
You wanna go see a movie
or you wanna--?
1644
01:13:00,523 --> 01:13:02,081
Okay, okay.
All right, time out.
1645
01:13:02,258 --> 01:13:04,385
Time out.
Time out, T.O., okay?
1646
01:13:04,560 --> 01:13:07,757
I think everyone just needs
to take a deep breath.
1647
01:13:07,930 --> 01:13:09,192
All right?
1648
01:13:10,232 --> 01:13:13,633
We need to relax and chill out
for a second, all right?
1649
01:13:13,803 --> 01:13:15,293
Whoa!
1650
01:13:15,504 --> 01:13:16,766
Where are you going?
Ah.
1651
01:13:16,939 --> 01:13:19,032
I'm just going outside
to get some fresh air.
1652
01:13:19,208 --> 01:13:20,698
Clear my head.
1653
01:13:21,644 --> 01:13:23,703
[SIGHS THEN CHUCKLES]
1654
01:13:23,879 --> 01:13:26,370
I swear to God, guys,
I thought this was gonna be fun.
1655
01:13:29,085 --> 01:13:30,416
[SIGHS]
1656
01:13:34,790 --> 01:13:36,724
[SIGHS]
1657
01:13:41,430 --> 01:13:43,227
[ddd]
1658
01:13:43,399 --> 01:13:45,390
[KATE MOANING]
1659
01:13:47,603 --> 01:13:48,729
[SQUEAKING]
1660
01:13:48,904 --> 01:13:49,893
[KATE & GLENN MOANING]
1661
01:13:50,072 --> 01:13:52,563
KATE:
Oh, yeah. Oh!
1662
01:13:52,742 --> 01:13:55,404
Why won't God
just let me have an orgy?
1663
01:14:02,985 --> 01:14:06,250
Okay.
All right, here we go.
1664
01:14:06,422 --> 01:14:07,480
[CLEARS THROAT]
1665
01:14:09,358 --> 01:14:11,690
Eric.
Kelly, heh, heh.
1666
01:14:11,861 --> 01:14:14,421
What are you doing?
I thought you were
with your friends.
1667
01:14:14,597 --> 01:14:15,757
I know. I know. Uh...
1668
01:14:15,931 --> 01:14:17,455
Did you fly here
on a carpet?
1669
01:14:17,633 --> 01:14:19,828
No, heh. No, no. I, uh...
1670
01:14:20,002 --> 01:14:22,937
It's a last-second
costume concept for, uh...
1671
01:14:23,105 --> 01:14:27,269
Look, I, uh-- I've been
thinking about things
and I realized something.
1672
01:14:28,077 --> 01:14:29,135
Oh, shit.
1673
01:14:29,311 --> 01:14:31,871
I thought we ordered pizza.
What'd you get, Indian food?
1674
01:14:34,583 --> 01:14:35,607
I'm sorry.
1675
01:14:35,785 --> 01:14:38,652
I, uh-- Sorry to interrupt.
Sorry.
1676
01:14:38,821 --> 01:14:41,551
Uh, Pete, give us a second?
Hey, hey, hey, Eric.
1677
01:14:41,724 --> 01:14:43,282
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
1678
01:14:43,459 --> 01:14:44,517
You didn't call.
I know.
1679
01:14:44,693 --> 01:14:47,355
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1680
01:14:47,530 --> 01:14:50,226
Oh, pizza? Really?
1681
01:14:50,399 --> 01:14:52,333
I'm sorry.
No, that's all right.
1682
01:14:52,501 --> 01:14:54,298
Hey, what's up, man?
Eighteen bucks.
1683
01:14:54,470 --> 01:14:55,960
Go, have fun. Hone--
1684
01:14:56,138 --> 01:14:58,299
Honestly. No biggie.
1685
01:14:58,474 --> 01:14:59,805
I'll call you tomorrow.
1686
01:15:01,610 --> 01:15:03,009
Bye.
1687
01:15:04,914 --> 01:15:08,850
McCRUDDEN:
Like I don't know
that I don't have a girlfriend.
1688
01:15:09,018 --> 01:15:14,388
Like I'm not trying to remember that
every fucking night of my life.
1689
01:15:14,557 --> 01:15:16,752
It's hard.
1690
01:15:18,561 --> 01:15:19,653
[DOOR CLOSES]
1691
01:15:22,164 --> 01:15:23,324
Hey.
Hi.
1692
01:15:23,499 --> 01:15:26,491
So where were we?
Where'd you go?
1693
01:15:26,669 --> 01:15:28,728
I know, I know, I know,
I, uh... Heh.
1694
01:15:28,904 --> 01:15:31,668
I'm sorry I left. You know, I...
1695
01:15:31,841 --> 01:15:36,210
I'm gonna be honest with you, guys.
Um, I'm freaking out a little.
1696
01:15:39,181 --> 01:15:41,843
I have had the best times
of my life
1697
01:15:42,017 --> 01:15:44,178
with you guys in this house
1698
01:15:44,353 --> 01:15:49,017
and I'm gonna miss it.
1699
01:15:49,391 --> 01:15:52,019
I'm gonna miss it so much.
1700
01:15:52,194 --> 01:15:54,560
I love you guys.
1701
01:15:54,730 --> 01:15:56,357
I love every single one of you.
1702
01:15:58,167 --> 01:15:59,532
She wasn't home, huh?
1703
01:16:00,202 --> 01:16:03,035
No. No, She was home.
1704
01:16:03,205 --> 01:16:04,365
She was on a date.
1705
01:16:04,540 --> 01:16:05,939
[ALL GROAN]
1706
01:16:06,108 --> 01:16:09,475
Yeah. And I showed up
dressed like fucking Aladdin.
1707
01:16:09,678 --> 01:16:11,305
[ALL CHUCKLE]
1708
01:16:11,480 --> 01:16:13,880
Well, I think that
you look adorable.
1709
01:16:14,049 --> 01:16:18,383
And I am so happy
that you're back.
1710
01:16:18,554 --> 01:16:22,115
It's been a pretty
emotional night for all of us.
1711
01:16:22,291 --> 01:16:25,624
How about a big
super-gay group hug?
1712
01:16:25,794 --> 01:16:27,819
ERIC: Oh, yeah.
LAURA: Group hug.
1713
01:16:27,997 --> 01:16:29,055
ERIC:
Yeah.
1714
01:16:29,231 --> 01:16:31,563
LAURA:
Oh! I love you guys.
1715
01:16:31,734 --> 01:16:33,895
ALL:
Aw!
1716
01:16:36,438 --> 01:16:37,632
Oh, my God.
1717
01:16:37,806 --> 01:16:39,899
SUE:
Wow.
1718
01:16:40,075 --> 01:16:43,340
Oh, my... I would not
have called that.
1719
01:16:43,512 --> 01:16:46,003
[BOTH MOANING]
1720
01:16:47,516 --> 01:16:49,108
Hey, what was that
about earlier?
1721
01:16:49,285 --> 01:16:50,616
Yeah, nothing. Later.
What?
1722
01:16:50,786 --> 01:16:53,016
[LITTLE DRAGON'S
"BLINKING PIGS" PLAYING]
1723
01:16:53,222 --> 01:16:54,450
Wha--?
1724
01:16:55,591 --> 01:16:57,320
Oh, gosh!
1725
01:16:57,493 --> 01:16:59,757
It's happening.
It's really happening.
1726
01:16:59,929 --> 01:17:02,625
We can do this.
I don't know if I can.
1727
01:17:02,798 --> 01:17:04,493
We'll do it together.
Okay?
1728
01:17:06,869 --> 01:17:09,099
One.
1729
01:17:09,271 --> 01:17:10,431
[SIGHS]
1730
01:17:10,606 --> 01:17:12,540
Two.
1731
01:17:14,944 --> 01:17:15,968
Three.
1732
01:17:18,814 --> 01:17:20,782
Hello, boobs.
1733
01:17:20,950 --> 01:17:23,316
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
1734
01:17:23,485 --> 01:17:24,611
Are they okay?
1735
01:17:25,821 --> 01:17:27,448
They're fucking fabulous.
1736
01:17:28,123 --> 01:17:30,284
Thank you.
1737
01:17:32,661 --> 01:17:35,721
Oh. And just so you know, um,
1738
01:17:35,898 --> 01:17:40,198
I've never been able to orgasm,
so no pressure.
1739
01:17:40,369 --> 01:17:42,303
I'm all about giving pleasure.
1740
01:17:42,471 --> 01:17:44,530
This is so much better
than porn.
1741
01:17:44,707 --> 01:17:47,540
[BOTH LAUGH]
1742
01:17:53,015 --> 01:17:55,006
Well, hey-o.
1743
01:17:55,184 --> 01:17:56,651
Oh, my God!
1744
01:17:56,819 --> 01:17:57,808
I told you so.
1745
01:17:57,987 --> 01:17:59,045
You weren't kidding.
1746
01:17:59,722 --> 01:18:02,657
That is remarkable
that he is insecure.
1747
01:18:02,825 --> 01:18:05,385
[McCRUDDEN
SHOUTS IN SPANISH]
1748
01:18:05,561 --> 01:18:07,552
Tequila!
1749
01:18:07,730 --> 01:18:09,493
d You got what I need d
1750
01:18:09,665 --> 01:18:12,361
[ALL SHOUT IN SPANISH]
1751
01:18:13,235 --> 01:18:15,362
d And you sayHe's just a friend d
1752
01:18:15,537 --> 01:18:18,404
d Oh, baby, you d
1753
01:18:18,574 --> 01:18:21,566
d Got what I need d
1754
01:18:21,744 --> 01:18:23,939
d But you sayHe's just a friend d
1755
01:18:24,113 --> 01:18:26,013
[ALL CHEERING]
1756
01:18:26,715 --> 01:18:29,684
d Oh, baby, you d
1757
01:18:29,852 --> 01:18:31,911
d Got what I need dd
1758
01:18:32,087 --> 01:18:34,715
McCRUDDEN:
Everybody, drink from the ceiling.
1759
01:18:37,059 --> 01:18:39,892
[MAYER HAWTHORNE'S
"THIN MOON" PLAYING]
1760
01:18:44,767 --> 01:18:46,860
Hey, Mike.
Hi there.
1761
01:18:47,036 --> 01:18:51,063
You guys have gotta try these
chocolate-covered strawberries.
They're so decadent.
1762
01:18:51,240 --> 01:18:53,538
Oh, no, no. I'm good.
I just had some Bagel Bites.
1763
01:18:53,709 --> 01:18:57,042
Where'd you get Bagel Bites?
Shh. Forget it.
1764
01:18:57,212 --> 01:18:58,770
Mahalo, freaky people.
1765
01:18:58,947 --> 01:19:02,713
We were thinking it might
be fun if we all went out
and made love in the pool.
1766
01:19:02,885 --> 01:19:05,217
Yes, yes.
Yeah, you wanna go in the pool?
1767
01:19:05,387 --> 01:19:07,753
No. No, no. We're good
right here. We're good.
1768
01:19:07,923 --> 01:19:09,390
Oh, we're okay.
Yeah.
1769
01:19:09,558 --> 01:19:12,721
Thanks though.
It's chlorinated. Have fun.
1770
01:19:15,164 --> 01:19:17,223
Sue, I'm so happy
for you.
1771
01:19:17,399 --> 01:19:20,459
All right, Hey, guys,
could we just get
a minute? Just a minute?
1772
01:19:20,636 --> 01:19:22,467
Yeah, just give us
a sec, will you?
1773
01:19:22,638 --> 01:19:25,573
Oh, so sorry.
1774
01:19:25,741 --> 01:19:29,074
We're not giving you
enough privacy at an orgy?
1775
01:19:29,244 --> 01:19:32,839
Oh, kind of a fair hit.
Yeah, now, shh.
1776
01:19:33,015 --> 01:19:34,915
Are you okay?
You wanna talk
or something?
1777
01:19:35,084 --> 01:19:37,917
No, no.
Just be in the moment.
1778
01:19:38,087 --> 01:19:41,113
Okay. Yeah, no, can do. Can do.
Okay. Okay.
1779
01:19:43,692 --> 01:19:45,785
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Oh, yeah?
1780
01:19:45,961 --> 01:19:47,428
You like to dirty talk?
Yeah?
1781
01:19:47,596 --> 01:19:49,291
Ooh, fuck.
Okay, you wanna fuck me?
1782
01:19:49,465 --> 01:19:52,298
You wanna fuck me hard?
No, Sue. Hop off. My foot, my foot.
1783
01:19:52,468 --> 01:19:53,492
Oh, oh, okay.
1784
01:19:53,669 --> 01:19:54,761
Oh, foot cramp.
Oh!
1785
01:19:54,937 --> 01:19:56,199
Okay.
Ooh, that's a doozie.
1786
01:19:56,405 --> 01:19:57,599
Shh. Okay. All right.
1787
01:19:57,773 --> 01:20:00,537
Oh, God, my big toe's so far
away from my other toes.
1788
01:20:00,709 --> 01:20:02,609
Okay, hey.
Hey, flex it out.
1789
01:20:02,778 --> 01:20:04,439
Flex it out. Flex it, okay.
1790
01:20:04,613 --> 01:20:06,843
Oh, we should have
done this 1 5 years ago.
1791
01:20:07,349 --> 01:20:09,283
Hey, guys.
1792
01:20:09,451 --> 01:20:11,783
I broke my diet.
1793
01:20:12,287 --> 01:20:13,549
[CHUCKLES]
1794
01:20:14,456 --> 01:20:16,287
Okay. You're good?
Oh, yeah.
1795
01:20:16,458 --> 01:20:18,323
Yeah? You're good?
Okay. There it goes.
1796
01:20:18,494 --> 01:20:20,826
There it goes. Oh, wow.
Okay.
1797
01:20:20,996 --> 01:20:22,725
Shh! Okay. Okay.
Okay.
1798
01:20:22,931 --> 01:20:26,196
Oh, no, it's back.
It's back worse!
1799
01:20:26,368 --> 01:20:28,461
Ooh, it's-- The little guy
is in on it now.
1800
01:20:28,637 --> 01:20:31,231
Hey, gang. Sake bombs.
1801
01:20:31,440 --> 01:20:33,840
[LAUGHS]
1802
01:20:34,009 --> 01:20:35,476
[ALL SHOUTING IN JAPANESE]
1803
01:20:35,644 --> 01:20:37,813
[FRENCH HORN REBELLION'S
"THIS MOMENT" PLAYING]
1804
01:20:37,980 --> 01:20:40,540
[McCRUDDEN MOANING]
1805
01:20:40,716 --> 01:20:41,978
Oh, my God!
1806
01:20:42,151 --> 01:20:44,813
Oh, my God,
my dick is having
the best night of its life.
1807
01:20:44,987 --> 01:20:47,854
Oh, we're all fucking.
Oh, we're all finally fucking.
1808
01:20:48,023 --> 01:20:50,048
Oh, and I can be as loud
as I fucking want!
1809
01:20:50,225 --> 01:20:51,249
ERIC:
Oh, no. Shh, shh.
1810
01:20:51,460 --> 01:20:52,825
[LAUGHING]
1811
01:20:53,829 --> 01:20:55,228
Ow! Ow, my contact.
1812
01:20:55,397 --> 01:20:56,830
Alison, my contact.
1813
01:20:56,999 --> 01:21:00,025
I'm good. I'm good. Play through.
Bro, count me down.
1814
01:21:00,202 --> 01:21:02,670
What?
Count me down from five.
1815
01:21:02,838 --> 01:21:05,864
What does that even mean?
Oh, fuck! Count me down from 1 0.
1816
01:21:06,041 --> 01:21:08,236
Count him down, Adam.
Just count him down.
1817
01:21:08,410 --> 01:21:09,570
[BOTH MOANING]
1818
01:21:09,745 --> 01:21:12,179
This whole sex in the pool thing
is not working.
1819
01:21:12,347 --> 01:21:14,838
Water is not a lubricant.
1820
01:21:15,017 --> 01:21:18,282
McCRUDDEN:
Okay, brothers and sisters.
Let's take this party indoors.
1821
01:21:18,487 --> 01:21:21,115
ADAM:
I'm running with a boner!
1822
01:21:21,523 --> 01:21:23,013
Pineapple mojitos.
1823
01:21:23,192 --> 01:21:24,216
[ALL CHEER]
1824
01:21:24,393 --> 01:21:25,860
Yeah, mulched with fresh mint.
1825
01:21:26,028 --> 01:21:27,461
[GLASS SHATTERS]
1826
01:21:27,629 --> 01:21:28,687
Fuck!
1827
01:21:28,864 --> 01:21:29,956
Are you ready?
1828
01:21:30,132 --> 01:21:32,225
As I'll ever be.
1829
01:21:34,203 --> 01:21:36,535
[ALL CHEERING
AND LAUGHING]
1830
01:21:36,705 --> 01:21:39,037
Ooh!
I'm next, I'm next, I'm next.
1831
01:21:40,275 --> 01:21:41,299
Vodka tonic.
1832
01:21:41,510 --> 01:21:42,704
[ALL CHEER]
1833
01:21:44,780 --> 01:21:46,748
[McCRUDDEN GRUNTS]
1834
01:21:46,915 --> 01:21:49,816
Yo, can I tag in?
1835
01:21:50,018 --> 01:21:53,419
Oh! You're like the sweet,
tender lion.
1836
01:21:53,589 --> 01:21:55,216
Mike, go away.
1837
01:21:55,390 --> 01:21:58,826
You guys haven't slept
with anybody else yet.
You're hogging Willow.
1838
01:21:59,027 --> 01:22:00,654
Go away.
1839
01:22:00,829 --> 01:22:02,592
Go away, Mike.
1840
01:22:02,764 --> 01:22:03,788
Vodka.
1841
01:22:03,966 --> 01:22:04,990
[ALL GROAN]
1842
01:22:05,167 --> 01:22:06,225
Come on.
1843
01:22:06,401 --> 01:22:10,428
Sue, I just wanna say
I'm so sorry about
the whole Eric thing.
1844
01:22:10,606 --> 01:22:13,905
No. Totally don't.
It's so over. I don't care.
1845
01:22:14,076 --> 01:22:18,740
No, but you know,
you're a really good friend
and I love you.
1846
01:22:18,914 --> 01:22:23,180
No, I love you.
You are so smart
and you're so beautiful.
1847
01:22:23,352 --> 01:22:27,083
And I totally get why he would
wanna be with you.
1848
01:22:27,256 --> 01:22:28,621
You're the beautiful one.
1849
01:22:28,790 --> 01:22:31,623
Oh, my God,
your body is ridiculous.
1850
01:22:31,793 --> 01:22:33,920
Your body
is ridiculous, okay?
1851
01:22:34,096 --> 01:22:37,190
And I would give anything
to have your breasts
1852
01:22:37,366 --> 01:22:38,993
just for, like,
one day.
1853
01:22:39,167 --> 01:22:43,627
Yeah, but your ass
is off the charts, seriously.
1854
01:22:43,805 --> 01:22:46,171
Okay. I would kill
to have your eyes.
1855
01:22:46,341 --> 01:22:50,107
You know that you have
the most beautiful green eyes
1856
01:22:50,279 --> 01:22:53,373
that I have ever seen.
1857
01:22:53,582 --> 01:22:55,641
[DELIBES' "LAKME -
FLOWER DUET" PLAYING]
1858
01:22:58,954 --> 01:23:00,353
SUE:
Oh, yeah.
1859
01:23:01,957 --> 01:23:03,948
[WOMEN MOANING]
1860
01:23:05,527 --> 01:23:07,017
SUE: Oh, yeah.
ALISON: Oh!
1861
01:23:07,696 --> 01:23:08,958
Wow!
1862
01:23:09,131 --> 01:23:10,291
I saw that.
You see that?
1863
01:23:10,465 --> 01:23:14,162
It looked like a little flash of light.
I know. I think I just-- God.
1864
01:23:14,870 --> 01:23:16,804
I never thought
I'd hear myself
say this,
1865
01:23:16,972 --> 01:23:19,167
but I'm gonna
take a break
1866
01:23:19,341 --> 01:23:22,208
from this
girl-on-girl-on-girl action
1867
01:23:22,377 --> 01:23:25,869
and check the score
of the Yankee game.
1868
01:23:26,048 --> 01:23:28,039
ALISON:
This feels fucking fabulous.
1869
01:23:28,216 --> 01:23:30,980
[ALISON MOANING]
1870
01:23:32,321 --> 01:23:33,310
ALISON:
Ah, Michael!
1871
01:23:33,989 --> 01:23:35,684
Let's go.
Are you sure?
1872
01:23:35,857 --> 01:23:37,825
Yes, 1 00,000 percent sure.
1873
01:23:37,993 --> 01:23:40,393
Let's go. Right now.
Okay, okay. Let's go.
1874
01:23:40,562 --> 01:23:44,157
You fucking did it.
Look at this.
You are awe-inspiring.
1875
01:23:44,333 --> 01:23:45,391
Oh.
1876
01:23:45,567 --> 01:23:46,727
Thank you, Mike.
No.
1877
01:23:46,902 --> 01:23:51,168
I'm gonna tell you something
right now and I want you to listen
because I fucking mean it.
1878
01:23:51,340 --> 01:23:52,864
Okay.
1879
01:23:53,041 --> 01:23:55,942
You could be the president
of the United States.
1880
01:23:56,144 --> 01:23:57,702
[ENIGMA'S "SADENESS (PART l)"
PLAYING]
1881
01:23:57,879 --> 01:23:59,710
Well, not after
something like this.
1882
01:23:59,881 --> 01:24:03,112
Hey, shh, no.
I'm fucking serious.
1883
01:24:03,285 --> 01:24:06,345
You could do it
if you wanted to.
1884
01:24:06,521 --> 01:24:08,386
Yeah.
1885
01:24:08,557 --> 01:24:10,422
You're getting kind of close,
Mike.
1886
01:24:10,592 --> 01:24:12,025
Am I?
Yeah.
1887
01:24:12,194 --> 01:24:13,422
Oh.
1888
01:24:13,595 --> 01:24:15,893
You're not trying to kiss me,
are you?
1889
01:24:16,064 --> 01:24:17,691
Would it scare you if I was?
1890
01:24:18,600 --> 01:24:20,397
I guess so.
1891
01:24:20,569 --> 01:24:22,901
Fucking kiss chicken, dude.
1892
01:24:23,071 --> 01:24:25,369
It's on.
All right.
1893
01:24:25,540 --> 01:24:27,201
Let me just
set this right here.
1894
01:24:27,376 --> 01:24:28,934
Whatever.
1895
01:24:35,917 --> 01:24:38,078
You scared yet?
1896
01:24:39,221 --> 01:24:40,279
No.
1897
01:24:40,455 --> 01:24:42,719
McCRUDDEN: No?
ERIC: Mm-mm.
1898
01:24:42,891 --> 01:24:46,383
How about now?
Touching your nose
with my nose.
1899
01:24:46,561 --> 01:24:48,756
It's okay,
I'm part Eskimo.
1900
01:24:48,930 --> 01:24:50,898
McCRUDDEN:
We're nose-kissing, buddy.
1901
01:24:51,066 --> 01:24:53,432
It's more than our noses
touching right now.
1902
01:24:53,602 --> 01:24:55,934
It's our souls.
1903
01:25:00,942 --> 01:25:02,773
Yeah, that's been brewing
for years.
1904
01:25:02,944 --> 01:25:04,241
Well, I think we both won.
1905
01:25:04,413 --> 01:25:06,176
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
1906
01:25:06,348 --> 01:25:08,111
I'm pretty sure
we both just lost.
1907
01:25:08,283 --> 01:25:11,275
[THE LOVE LANGUAGE'S
"HEART TO TELL" PLAYING]
1908
01:25:12,320 --> 01:25:14,151
Tonic.
ALL: Boo!
1909
01:25:14,322 --> 01:25:15,414
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
1910
01:25:15,590 --> 01:25:16,955
[MOANING]
1911
01:25:17,125 --> 01:25:20,151
Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop.
Almost there. Almost there.
1912
01:25:20,328 --> 01:25:22,592
No, don't stop. Don't stop.
Ah! Don't stop.
1913
01:25:22,964 --> 01:25:25,990
It feels so good.
It feels so good, don't stop.
1914
01:25:27,869 --> 01:25:29,860
Hm?
Mmm.
1915
01:25:30,038 --> 01:25:31,096
How about that?
1916
01:25:31,273 --> 01:25:33,673
So how long
has this been going on?
1917
01:25:33,842 --> 01:25:35,104
About a half an hour.
1918
01:25:35,277 --> 01:25:37,268
I'm good. I'm gonna--
I'm getting it. Ah!
1919
01:25:37,446 --> 01:25:38,504
Poor bastard.
1920
01:25:38,680 --> 01:25:40,648
Fucking so good. Aah!
1921
01:25:40,816 --> 01:25:42,113
ERIC:
Hang in there, buddy.
1922
01:25:42,284 --> 01:25:43,444
Almost there.
1923
01:25:43,618 --> 01:25:46,883
Yeah. Yes. Yes!
1924
01:25:47,055 --> 01:25:48,852
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'm coming.
1925
01:25:49,024 --> 01:25:51,515
Yes! Oh, yes!
1926
01:25:51,693 --> 01:25:53,285
Yes, yes, yes!
1927
01:25:53,462 --> 01:25:56,295
Oh, yes! Yes!
1928
01:25:56,465 --> 01:25:59,267
Yes! Aah!
1929
01:26:18,854 --> 01:26:21,652
Hey! Good morning, everybody.
1930
01:26:21,823 --> 01:26:23,848
So, uh, look what I got.
1931
01:26:24,025 --> 01:26:26,493
Commemorative Labor Day
orgy T-shirts right here.
1932
01:26:26,661 --> 01:26:27,992
Pink and blue.
1933
01:26:28,163 --> 01:26:30,256
Unisex,
1 00 percent cotton.
1934
01:26:30,432 --> 01:26:31,490
You made T-shirts?
1935
01:26:31,666 --> 01:26:33,065
McCRUDDEN:
Yup. Laura.
1936
01:26:33,401 --> 01:26:35,062
Huh?
1937
01:26:35,871 --> 01:26:37,236
Where are we gonna
wear these?
1938
01:26:37,405 --> 01:26:39,873
Anywhere.
What do you mean?
1939
01:26:40,442 --> 01:26:43,843
Jesus Christ,
I am hungover
like a madman.
1940
01:26:44,012 --> 01:26:45,001
[GROANS]
1941
01:26:45,180 --> 01:26:47,375
All right, ladies.
Ladies, I got one--
1942
01:26:47,549 --> 01:26:49,073
One easy question for all of you.
1943
01:26:49,618 --> 01:26:52,849
Overall,
where would you rank me?
1944
01:26:53,021 --> 01:26:54,420
Just have a bagel and relax.
1945
01:26:54,589 --> 01:26:57,057
Listen, I need to know.
I just-- I need to know.
1946
01:26:57,225 --> 01:27:01,025
Well, for me,
there was one clear winner.
1947
01:27:01,196 --> 01:27:04,757
Okay, I know, good. Eric.
Blah, blah. Big surprise.
What about this guy?
1948
01:27:04,933 --> 01:27:08,027
I was gonna say Adam.
Adam.
1949
01:27:08,203 --> 01:27:09,431
What?
1950
01:27:09,604 --> 01:27:12,095
For a neurotic hypochondriac
with panic attacks,
1951
01:27:12,274 --> 01:27:14,742
he was really uninhibited.
1952
01:27:14,910 --> 01:27:17,208
So what? Out of the four dudes
in the house,
1953
01:27:17,379 --> 01:27:20,610
I didn't even rank in the top two?
That's what you're telling me?
1954
01:27:20,782 --> 01:27:21,908
Didn't I do my move?
1955
01:27:22,083 --> 01:27:24,779
The move with the fingers
and the tongue? The Thoosh?
1956
01:27:25,153 --> 01:27:26,745
McCRUDDEN: Laura.
ERIC: You did it.
1957
01:27:26,922 --> 01:27:29,891
I thooshed you. I know I did.
You don't need to do it now.
1958
01:27:30,058 --> 01:27:31,719
We don't need to see it again.
1959
01:27:31,893 --> 01:27:33,588
Yeah. Can we just
eat breakfast?
1960
01:27:33,762 --> 01:27:36,230
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
1961
01:27:36,398 --> 01:27:37,387
It's Marcus.
1962
01:27:40,869 --> 01:27:42,234
Hello?
1963
01:27:43,238 --> 01:27:45,069
Oh, tell him how much
we missed him.
1964
01:27:45,240 --> 01:27:46,730
[GROANS]
1965
01:27:46,908 --> 01:27:48,398
WILLOW: Hey.
Everybody's up.
1966
01:27:48,577 --> 01:27:49,601
Hey.
1967
01:27:49,778 --> 01:27:50,972
ERIC:
Morning.
1968
01:27:51,146 --> 01:27:53,580
Hey, man, about the shit
that went down last night--
1969
01:27:53,748 --> 01:27:58,117
Dude. Oh, shit, I'm sorry
if I did anything weird to you
or Willow, like, any thooshing.
1970
01:27:58,286 --> 01:28:02,416
Anything like that. I'm sorry.
I was so fucking hammered,
I don't remember anything.
1971
01:28:02,591 --> 01:28:03,615
Seriously, nothing?
1972
01:28:03,792 --> 01:28:05,783
You don't remember anything?
No.
1973
01:28:05,961 --> 01:28:09,488
Nothing. I remember
the fucking absinthe shots
and then that's it.
1974
01:28:09,664 --> 01:28:14,101
I'm so bummed,
that was gonna be spank fodder
for the next 20 years of my life.
1975
01:28:14,269 --> 01:28:16,601
Total fucking blackout.
Thank God.
1976
01:28:16,771 --> 01:28:17,999
Amen.
1977
01:28:18,173 --> 01:28:19,265
I got something for you.
1978
01:28:19,441 --> 01:28:21,500
Holy shit!
Dougie.
1979
01:28:21,676 --> 01:28:23,337
I did it. I got more coming.
1980
01:28:23,511 --> 01:28:25,308
Oh, my God, dude,
this is major.
1981
01:28:25,480 --> 01:28:30,144
I wanted hat, but he was
so passionate about no hat.
1982
01:28:30,318 --> 01:28:32,309
DUQUEZ: No fucking hat.
Good shit, man.
1983
01:28:32,487 --> 01:28:34,614
I still would've
Photoshopped in the dudes
1984
01:28:34,789 --> 01:28:36,950
schnizzing on your face.
But it's just me.
1985
01:28:37,125 --> 01:28:38,524
You made fucking shirts.
Fuck.
1986
01:28:38,693 --> 01:28:41,127
Yeah. Hey, Willow,
grab one of those.
1987
01:28:41,296 --> 01:28:43,127
It's blue and pink,
my favorite.
1988
01:28:43,298 --> 01:28:46,199
DUQUEZ: A medium. Awesome.
ADAM: It's the Breakfast Club.
1989
01:28:46,368 --> 01:28:49,064
ERIC:
Oh, there he is.
Sam Rockwell.
1990
01:28:49,237 --> 01:28:51,467
Ha, yeah, there you go.
1991
01:28:51,640 --> 01:28:53,130
[ALL CHUCKLE]
1992
01:28:53,308 --> 01:28:55,538
Thank you, I'm sorry,
and you're welcome.
1993
01:28:55,710 --> 01:28:56,802
[LAUGHS]
1994
01:28:56,978 --> 01:28:58,206
Ahh.
Oh!
1995
01:28:58,380 --> 01:28:59,574
Still a little sore.
1996
01:28:59,748 --> 01:29:02,046
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
1997
01:29:03,084 --> 01:29:04,142
Hey.
1998
01:29:05,520 --> 01:29:08,045
Yeah, I think
we're headed down shortly.
1999
01:29:08,990 --> 01:29:10,753
Yeah, I'll see you there.
2000
01:29:11,893 --> 01:29:14,327
That was Kelly.
Slut.
2001
01:29:14,496 --> 01:29:16,862
BOTH: Ooh!
ERIC: Uh, she's, uh,
2002
01:29:17,032 --> 01:29:18,863
headed to the beach.
I'm gonna meet her.
2003
01:29:19,034 --> 01:29:22,026
That's gonna be some awkward shit.
I wanna be front-row center.
2004
01:29:22,203 --> 01:29:23,830
Let's do it.
I'm there.
2005
01:29:25,273 --> 01:29:27,332
Give the ticks a goodbye hug
for me, please?
2006
01:29:27,509 --> 01:29:29,500
ERIC: I will do so.
ADAM: Okay.
2007
01:29:30,712 --> 01:29:32,577
[DOOR CLOSES]
2008
01:29:33,281 --> 01:29:34,839
[ddd]
2009
01:29:35,016 --> 01:29:38,417
I can stay here
and hang out with you if--
2010
01:29:38,586 --> 01:29:40,383
Yeah, yes.
2011
01:29:40,555 --> 01:29:41,681
Okay, heh.
2012
01:29:41,856 --> 01:29:45,223
We could, uh, take a dip
in the pool or something.
2013
01:29:45,393 --> 01:29:47,384
Oh, the-- Yeah.
I don't know about the pool
2014
01:29:47,562 --> 01:29:49,689
after what happened
in there last night.
2015
01:29:49,864 --> 01:29:50,922
Ew.
2016
01:29:51,399 --> 01:29:54,197
But you wanna
do the crossword with me?
2017
01:29:55,036 --> 01:29:56,367
I'd love that.
2018
01:29:56,538 --> 01:29:58,403
[BOTH CLEAR THROAT]
2019
01:29:58,573 --> 01:30:00,341
Uh, 1 6 Across.
2020
01:30:01,576 --> 01:30:04,568
So, what happened
with, uh, you-know-who?
2021
01:30:04,746 --> 01:30:07,715
Marcus apologized.
He wants to go to
couples therapy.
2022
01:30:07,882 --> 01:30:09,144
You're getting
back together?
2023
01:30:09,317 --> 01:30:12,445
We're gonna go to city hall,
get married, see if we can
make it work.
2024
01:30:12,620 --> 01:30:14,554
What the fuck?
Just kidding.
2025
01:30:14,723 --> 01:30:15,883
[ALL CHUCKLE]
2026
01:30:16,057 --> 01:30:19,993
Okay.
Yeah, no, it's totally over.
2027
01:30:20,161 --> 01:30:22,095
Nice.
I'm proud of you.
2028
01:30:22,263 --> 01:30:23,560
ALISON:
Thanks, Sue.
2029
01:30:23,732 --> 01:30:26,064
ERIC:
That's too bad.
I always liked that guy.
2030
01:30:26,768 --> 01:30:28,827
God, I hope
Kate has some guys for us.
2031
01:30:29,037 --> 01:30:31,062
Hell, I'd even go to Hoboken.
2032
01:30:31,239 --> 01:30:34,333
I mean, if he's really
amazing, I'd consider
going to Jersey City.
2033
01:30:34,542 --> 01:30:35,566
Oh, you would not.
2034
01:30:35,744 --> 01:30:37,735
I'm just making
a point.
2035
01:30:37,912 --> 01:30:40,574
Uh, so Eric, um,
last night,
2036
01:30:40,749 --> 01:30:42,273
Oh.
some things came up.
2037
01:30:42,450 --> 01:30:44,918
Yeah, I swear.
I had no idea.
2038
01:30:45,086 --> 01:30:47,281
No, it's fine, really.
It was just something
2039
01:30:47,455 --> 01:30:49,423
that I needed
to get out of my system.
2040
01:30:56,798 --> 01:30:58,595
I hope she likes
my sloppy seconds.
2041
01:30:58,767 --> 01:31:00,632
Oh, come on.
2042
01:31:01,669 --> 01:31:04,661
Morning, Kelly.
Hey. Morning, Eric.
2043
01:31:04,839 --> 01:31:06,602
Hey. Hey.
2044
01:31:06,775 --> 01:31:08,640
Hi, I'm Mike.
We haven't officially met.
2045
01:31:08,810 --> 01:31:10,937
Nice to meet you.
Oh, wait, Mike.
2046
01:31:11,112 --> 01:31:14,138
Right. You're the guy
that Dody was asking about.
2047
01:31:14,315 --> 01:31:17,773
She wanted your number
for some kind of business
thing or something?
2048
01:31:19,854 --> 01:31:22,288
Ah, what the fuck.
Give her my digits, all right?
2049
01:31:22,457 --> 01:31:24,482
Nice to meet you.
2050
01:31:24,659 --> 01:31:28,288
Let loose the Kraken. Yeah.
2051
01:31:28,463 --> 01:31:31,193
So wow. Okay.
2052
01:31:31,366 --> 01:31:32,856
About last night.
How about this?
2053
01:31:33,034 --> 01:31:34,797
What?
How about this about last night?
2054
01:31:34,969 --> 01:31:38,132
We never talk about it
ever, ever again.
2055
01:31:38,807 --> 01:31:40,365
It never happened.
All right?
2056
01:31:41,009 --> 01:31:42,738
You and I have just met.
2057
01:31:42,911 --> 01:31:45,345
We're starting fresh
right here, right now.
2058
01:31:46,981 --> 01:31:48,471
Done.
Done.
2059
01:31:48,650 --> 01:31:49,810
Hi.
Hi.
2060
01:31:49,984 --> 01:31:51,474
I'm Kelly.
Hi, Kelly. I'm Eric.
2061
01:31:51,653 --> 01:31:53,484
It's nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
2062
01:31:55,156 --> 01:31:57,488
[BOTH LAUGHING]
2063
01:31:58,493 --> 01:32:00,484
[ddd]
2064
01:32:04,999 --> 01:32:06,159
Hey!
2065
01:32:06,534 --> 01:32:09,833
[ALL CHEERING]
2066
01:32:12,841 --> 01:32:14,206
LAURA:
Your BlackBerry.
2067
01:32:14,375 --> 01:32:17,071
Ah! Just an empty
symbolic gesture.
2068
01:32:17,245 --> 01:32:18,735
I'm getting a new one
on Tuesday.
2069
01:32:18,913 --> 01:32:22,212
But that did feel really,
really good.
2070
01:32:22,383 --> 01:32:24,214
So this is the beach, huh?
2071
01:32:24,385 --> 01:32:25,875
Pretty beautiful. Who knew?
2072
01:32:26,054 --> 01:32:28,022
This is it.
Let's go on.
2073
01:32:28,189 --> 01:32:29,213
[CHUCKLES]
2074
01:32:29,891 --> 01:32:31,859
Come in!
2075
01:32:33,795 --> 01:32:35,558
Okay, listen.
I've got some bad news.
2076
01:32:35,730 --> 01:32:37,254
You're al Qaeda.
No.
2077
01:32:37,432 --> 01:32:39,764
You know the delay I pulled
with closing the house?
2078
01:32:39,934 --> 01:32:41,868
It spooked the buyers
and they pulled out.
2079
01:32:42,036 --> 01:32:43,298
[CHUCKLES]
2080
01:32:43,471 --> 01:32:44,733
The house isn't sold?
No.
2081
01:32:47,108 --> 01:32:49,042
Are you mad?
No. No, no, no.
2082
01:32:49,210 --> 01:32:50,700
Will you hold on
a sec though?
2083
01:32:50,879 --> 01:32:51,971
ERIC: Hey, guys!
Yeah?
2084
01:32:52,180 --> 01:32:54,740
Quick announcement.
I have a really shitty Realtor.
2085
01:32:54,916 --> 01:32:56,884
McCRUDDEN: Fire her.
And she blew the deal.
2086
01:32:57,051 --> 01:32:58,882
And the house still isn't sold.
2087
01:32:59,053 --> 01:33:01,214
[ALL CHEERING]
2088
01:33:03,391 --> 01:33:04,619
They're pissed.
They're mad.
2089
01:33:04,792 --> 01:33:06,953
Great, now they're pissed.
They're mad.
2090
01:33:07,128 --> 01:33:10,757
ERIC:
Now I gotta start thinking of
something to do for Memorial Day.
2091
01:33:10,932 --> 01:33:13,400
We've been kicking around
this idea for a brown party.
2092
01:33:13,568 --> 01:33:15,559
You know brown clothes,
brown food.
2093
01:33:17,572 --> 01:33:19,631
Hey, you guys
remember Kelly, right?
2094
01:33:19,807 --> 01:33:22,799
[TELEKINESIS' "GOTTA GET IT
RIGHT NOW" PLAYING]
2095
01:33:24,846 --> 01:33:28,179
d I always do what I am told d
2096
01:33:28,349 --> 01:33:31,409
d Jesus ChristI'm gettin' old d
2097
01:33:31,586 --> 01:33:34,521
d And I gottaGet it right now d
2098
01:33:35,657 --> 01:33:38,649
d I gotta get it right now d
2099
01:33:39,227 --> 01:33:42,321
d All my friends areSo locked down d
2100
01:33:42,497 --> 01:33:45,955
d And I'm 23I should be screwin' around d
2101
01:33:46,134 --> 01:33:48,932
d And I gottaGet it right now d
2102
01:33:50,271 --> 01:33:53,263
d I gotta get it right now d
2103
01:33:54,142 --> 01:33:56,269
d Gotta get it right now d
2104
01:33:57,612 --> 01:33:59,204
d Gotta get it right now d
2105
01:33:59,380 --> 01:34:00,506
What do you want?
2106
01:34:00,682 --> 01:34:02,343
WOMAN:
Password's roundelay.
2107
01:34:02,517 --> 01:34:03,609
Who's your
connection?
2108
01:34:03,785 --> 01:34:05,343
Dody Henderson.
She's our Realtor.
2109
01:34:05,520 --> 01:34:07,454
Oh, Dody.
Yeah, she's in the swing.
2110
01:34:07,622 --> 01:34:10,147
Come on in.
Come on, you too.
2111
01:34:12,260 --> 01:34:13,784
d Gotta get it right now d
2112
01:34:13,962 --> 01:34:16,453
Yeah. Okay.
2113
01:34:30,378 --> 01:34:33,814
d I've got visionsI can't see d
2114
01:34:33,982 --> 01:34:37,418
d Country housesAnd one-way streets d
2115
01:34:37,585 --> 01:34:39,849
d I gotta get it right now d
2116
01:34:41,222 --> 01:34:44,714
d I gotta get it right now d
2117
01:34:44,892 --> 01:34:48,384
d Sometimes this feelsLike a dream d
2118
01:34:48,563 --> 01:34:51,691
d Without the youWithout the me d
2119
01:34:51,866 --> 01:34:54,596
d And I gotta get itRight now d
2120
01:34:55,937 --> 01:34:58,667
d I gotta get it right now dd
2121
01:34:59,907 --> 01:35:01,841
ALL:
d You say he's just a friend d
2122
01:35:02,010 --> 01:35:04,945
d Oh, baby, you d
2123
01:35:05,113 --> 01:35:07,877
d You got what I need d
2124
01:35:08,049 --> 01:35:09,073
ADAM:
What?!
2125
01:35:09,250 --> 01:35:11,047
d But you say
He's just a friend d
2126
01:35:11,219 --> 01:35:13,881
d What, what
But you say he's just a friend d
2127
01:35:14,055 --> 01:35:16,523
d Oh, baby you dd
2128
01:35:16,691 --> 01:35:19,683
[KENNED Y'S "ABSTINENCE:
DON'T DO IT" PLAYING]
2129
01:35:29,037 --> 01:35:32,200
d Can I getA little kissy-kiss? d
2130
01:35:32,373 --> 01:35:35,069
d Can I get a littleHoochie-coo? d
2131
01:35:35,243 --> 01:35:37,438
d I'm like a soldierMarching in the sun d
2132
01:35:37,612 --> 01:35:40,581
d My guns are pointedBaby, straight at the moon d
2133
01:35:40,748 --> 01:35:46,277
d And abstinence d
2134
01:35:46,454 --> 01:35:48,422
d Don't do it d
2135
01:35:48,589 --> 01:35:51,149
d Abstinence d
2136
01:35:51,359 --> 01:35:53,554
d Don't do it, don't do itDon't do it d
2137
01:35:53,728 --> 01:35:56,561
d Well, early in the morningWhen we're all alone d
2138
01:35:56,731 --> 01:35:59,723
d Well, how could I everBe so dumb? d
2139
01:36:00,768 --> 01:36:03,100
d You're driving drunkIn your boyfriend's car d
2140
01:36:03,271 --> 01:36:06,001
d Let's throw the babysitterInto the trunk d
2141
01:36:06,174 --> 01:36:11,737
d And abstinence d
2142
01:36:11,913 --> 01:36:13,904
d Don't do it d
2143
01:36:14,082 --> 01:36:16,744
d Abstinence d
2144
01:36:16,918 --> 01:36:18,749
d Don't do it, don't do itDon't do it d
2145
01:36:18,920 --> 01:36:22,412
d When you're all aloneOn your own d
2146
01:36:22,590 --> 01:36:26,617
d No one ever holds you d
d Don't do it, don't do it d
2147
01:36:26,794 --> 01:36:30,423
d I'll be at your doorOn the horn d
2148
01:36:30,598 --> 01:36:34,659
d Sending these thoughts to you d
2149
01:36:34,836 --> 01:36:36,633
d Whoo! d
2150
01:36:37,638 --> 01:36:39,196
d Ah! d
2151
01:36:41,275 --> 01:36:42,799
d What's that? d
2152
01:36:46,714 --> 01:36:48,272
d Coochie-coo d
2153
01:36:48,449 --> 01:36:50,110
WOMAN:
That's tough.
2154
01:36:51,452 --> 01:36:55,479
d Abstinence d
2155
01:36:55,656 --> 01:36:57,647
d Don't do it d
2156
01:36:57,825 --> 01:37:00,555
d Abstinence d
2157
01:37:00,728 --> 01:37:02,787
d Don't do it, don't do itDon't do it d
2158
01:37:02,964 --> 01:37:05,159
d Don't do it, don't do itDon't do it d
2159
01:37:05,333 --> 01:37:07,563
d Don't do it, don't do itDon't do it d
2160
01:37:07,735 --> 01:37:10,033
d Don't do it, don't do itDon't do it d
2161
01:37:10,204 --> 01:37:12,365
d Don't do it, don't do itDon't do it d
2162
01:37:12,540 --> 01:37:14,667
d Don't do it, don't do itDon't do it d
2163
01:37:14,842 --> 01:37:16,673
d Don't do it, don't do it d
2164
01:37:16,844 --> 01:37:19,005
d Don't do it, don't do itDon't do it d
2165
01:37:20,047 --> 01:37:24,211
d Abstinence d
2166
01:37:24,385 --> 01:37:26,319
d Don't do it d
2167
01:37:26,487 --> 01:37:29,149
d Abstinence d
2168
01:37:29,323 --> 01:37:31,314
d Don't do it, don't do itDon't do it d
2169
01:37:31,492 --> 01:37:34,825
d When you're all aloneOn your own d
2170
01:37:34,996 --> 01:37:38,727
d No one ever holds you d
d Don't do it, don't do it d
2171
01:37:38,900 --> 01:37:42,734
d I'll be at your doorOn the horn d
2172
01:37:42,904 --> 01:37:47,034
d Sending these thoughts to you d
2173
01:37:47,208 --> 01:37:48,971
d Oh! dd
2174
01:37:51,971 --> 01:37:55,971
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