All language subtitles for Sexual-Chronicles-of-a-French-Family_2012_English-Stu

Unbelievable.
During math class.

She did it,
and no one even noticed.

Coralie,
she's really something.

I just turned 18,
and I haven't made love yet.

It's driving me nuts.

Pierre used to call me Chikie.

Now he calls me Cherry
to bug me.

I feel so totally alone.

Every year,
after the autumn break,

we take our family photo
for Christmas cards.

One more for the album.

Smiling like dummies.

Marie, my adopted sister,
but we never mention that.

We also don't mention
her boob job.

For her,
they were too small.

She worked all summer
to pay for the operation.

If she asked my opinion,

I'd tell her I think
they're too big.

Swap places.

Pierre, my real brother.

He's always so cool.
It irritates me.

Stop it!

My parents are so normal

that it gets depressing.

Smile, please.

Romain!

Come on!
Smile!

Spot the person who's never
made love, fucked, or screwed.

I got to think about
something else.

Congratulations to Michel.

Very nice photo, this year.
Well done, Michel.

Well done, Dad.

I don't hear.
I don't listen.

Always the same subjects
of conversation.

Pierre and Marie's studies,
my exams, ecology.

It bores the hell out of me,
ecology.

Crisis, soccer, food...

Never, but never,
do we ever talk about sex.

That would be interesting,
break the routine a bit.

Who saw the soccer game
on Sunday?

I saw it at Marcel's.

How can they play so badly?

What are they paid to do?

Play like they're playing pool?

I agree with you.

That reminds me.

Thursday,
we start practice again.

I know.
I don't have Alzheimer's.

They're talking about
basketball practice.

I never made it.

But we sure did start
talking about sex.

Enabled visualization
of general characteristics

of acid base cellular zones
and so forth.

Currently thanks to the use
of antibodies and...

Romain,
what are you doing?

I don't know what it's about.

He asked me to come in
right away.

No, he's not hurt.

He assured me Romain is fine.

I'll call you right after.

Love you, too.

What I have to tell you
concerning Romain

is rather serious,
rather delicate.

Okay.

During biology class,

Romain was caught
in a flagrant act...

of onanism.

Romain was masturbating?

Precisely, precisely.

Furthermore,

he filmed this act
with his cell phone...

which the teacher
obviously confiscated.

You find this funny?

No!
Certainly not!

Romain has been an adult
for two months.

And he's exposing himself...

in front of his peers...

girls and boys...

who, for the most part,
are still minors.

Sexually,
they are legally adults.

They are all over 15,
are they not?

I am not addressing
the lawyer here, Mrs. Bertrand,

but the mother.

This is not normal behavior.

What do you recommend?

A suspension...

until we discuss this with
the disciplinary committee...

on a date which
will be stipulated soon.

Until then, try and clear up
what's going on in his head.

I also have to inform you

that we have copied
his disgusting little film

as evidence.

Okay.

Thank you very much.

We took him to the infirmary.

My secretary will accompany you.

Hey, it's nothing.

It's not the end of the world.

Okay, so now you're smiling.

What's wrong with you,
Romain?

You want me to explain?

Please explain.

Right here?
Now?

Yes, why not?

The sooner, the better.

I'm waiting.

They're dares.
They dared me to do it.

If you don't,
you're a real loser.

It was my turn,
and I got caught.

What are you talking about,
a dare?

It's a game,
just for fun.

Okay, so for fun,
you all film yourselves

masturbating in class?

Yeah, right.

I waited for biology class.

Behind the benches,
it was harder to spot me.

But it didn't work out.

I don't understand.

Coralie thinks
it went on too long.

The others come quicker.

I mean the guys.

Spare me the details,
will you?

Okay.
I think I understand.

Look...

I'll tell you this evening.

As Romain would say,
it's not the end of the world.

No, nothing serious.

Love you.

You're telling everyone?

Your father's not everyone.

Did you get the phone back?

It's in my bag.

- Can I have it back?
- Yes, you can.

It's not a true dare
unless you film it.

And I got to send it to Coralie.
She rates them.

Hey, I'm driving.

You can drive and talk.

Well, shit!
Not now.

My mother assists
in a big law firm.

She deals with
a lot of files for big cases

without getting too involved.

To protect herself,
she says.

Today's new file:

Romain: Sexual Problem Alert.

Knowing her,
she'll never drop the case.

He looked at me
as if I was guilty.

I've never felt so humiliated,
never.

At one point,
I even thought

he was going to show me
Romain's film.

It'll all work out.
Calm down.

Do you think it's normal?

I'll talk to him.
Don't worry.

And Marie and Pierre?

What about their sex lives?

We've never talked to them
about it.

Did you talk about that
with your parents?

No.

It was a different time.

It's always a different time.

We try to do everything,

so they lack nothing,

but when it comes to sex,
we leave them in the dark.

Apart from AIDS,
birth control...

When it comes
to sexual fulfillment,

we leave them...

all on their own.

Don't panic, Clarinette.

They see the image we give them.

Tell me what image of us
caused Romain

to film himself
jerking off in biology class?

Think about your father.

How long since your mother died?

Five years?

What's his sex life?

Poor old man.

Relax.

Not now.

No.

I'm really not in the mood.

I just want a little cuddle.

"5/10,
and I'm being generous. "

"Justify that.

I deserve a bonus
for getting caught. "

"Good night!"

Four.

"Clear recent history. "

"Clear now. "

Time to get up, Romain.

I thought I was suspended.

That's no reason
to lie in bed.

He had been informed,
that's for sure.

He's difficult to decipher.

Pretend nothing happened.

You got in late last night.

No, no.
Not too late.

Have a good day.

Marie can be
a champion of understatement.

What's up?

You look stressed.

A lot of work to do.

We haven't seen Melanie much.

How's she doing?

I haven't seen her.

- You're no longer dating?
- Right.

You didn't tell us.

Tell you what?

The news!

You were together
more than a year.

Well, we weren't engaged.

See you.

Have a good day.

Pierre is a champion
escape artist.

So no more Melanie.

Okay.

No loss to me.

Melanie made me barf.

He was right to dump her.

Have a good day, big guy.

Tomorrow, instead of
basketball practice,

we could have dinner?

Sure, sure.

Don't play on your computer
all day.

No, no,
I'm gonna study.

I'll call Coralie
to get today's lessons.

Is there something
between you and Coralie?

No, no way.

You've got it all wrong,
not at all.

Yeah?

Escape artist?
Understatement?

Romain: Screw Up Champion.

I just need to talk to Grandpa
about something.

Then I'm off.

Mom's bugging me
with all her questions.

She's spreading the news.

Romain's staying at home
for a few days.

- Is he sick?
- Not at all.

He did something stupid
at school.

He's suspended.

That bad, huh?

Michel, we live
under the same roof,

and we don't really communicate.

Since Mireille died,
what do you do for sex?

Don't take this the wrong way,
but at your age,

it's sad to think it's all over.

Let me be frank with you,
Claire.

It's not all over.

I visit a prostitute.

The same one for two years now.

Her name is Nathalie.

For me it's Nathalie, anyhow.

Maybe it's not her real name.

I see her twice a month.

When Mireille died,

I was devastated, remember?

A few months later,
sex became a question.

I thought I'd solved it with...

with my hand,
like a teenager.

I could have met women my age,

find one who suited me,

and fake it.

But I decided not to cheat.

I've never loved another woman
other than Mireille.

That's my idealistic side.

I'm romantic.

I see Nathalie
to be true to my love.

- Can you understand that?
- Yes.

I still need sex.

And I want it without having
to play attentive companion

obliged to chitchat
with a lady my age.

I know!
It's selfish.

Sexual pleasure
is obviously selfish.

It did me good to talk to you.

- You want to know why?
- Yes. Why?

Recently, I've been scared
of blacking out with Nathalie,

having a heart attack.

What would people think of me?

I mean you,
the family.

You'd see me as an old pervert.

How can you imagine that?

Now you know.

Yes.

This rosebush won't flower
this year.

It doesn't really matter.

Without you, the garden
would just be weeds.

- You told him everything.
- No, I didn't.

What did you talk about?

Gardening,
if you want to know.

Sure.

Kiss your mom.

Better than that.

- Have a good day.
- Yeah.

"I reviewed it.

You're right.
You deserve more. "

You want some lunch?

"It's just what I thought. "

- You fooled about at school?
- Yeah.

I really like Pappy.

It bugs me to lie to him.

But it bugs me
to tell him the truth.

You want to talk about it?

No, I prefer not.

Ten.

Ten?

- You have a good day?
- Sure.

And you, Dad?

One more day.

30, go for it.

You know what's
in that plastic bag?

- No.
- Condoms.

He stocks up every two months.

I swear it's true.

You think he's cheating on Mom?

Shut up
and concentrate on the game.

All in.

I fold.

Once, I was talking about sex
with my uncle.

He was wild,
with the French Foreign Legion.

He told me guys
always talk before fucking.

The chicks always talk after.

Well, you're talking now.

That's right.

Stuck here all day,
I get nowhere with Coralie.

Marie told me she's finding
sexual fulfillment with a guy

for the first time in her life.

I said I was happy for her.

It must be nice
to find sexual fulfillment.

She wants to encourage me.

Maybe.

Pierre sent me a text message.

"Stay cool, bro.

Exposing yourself is normal. "

I answered:
"You expose yourself?"

But no answer.

Crawl towards me on all fours.

That's right.
Suck him.

I don't like your tone, guys.

Please position yourself
on all fours,

so as not to fall over,
and crawl towards me like a cat.

"I missed you today. "

Coralie! Coralie!

What are you doing here?

Just wanted to see you.

There's no time;
the bell will ring.

Yeah, I know.

What's up?

Same old.

Whatever.

You?

Same old too.

Well, huh...

I'm going.

See ya!

- Tomorrow evening's okay?
- Yeah.

At 10:00.

Sebastien doesn't
talk much either.

We live near Bastille.

I'll send you the address
and door codes.

Hello, Mom?

I didn't think you'd pick up.

You're not in class?

No.
Teacher's sick.

It upset me what you said
about Melanie.

It's not the end of the world.

Now you talk like Romain?

I'd like to have dinner with you
tomorrow evening.

Tomorrow evening?

I know a new
health food restaurant.

Yeah, yeah.

- Good for you?
- Yeah, it's a date.

Big kiss.

You too.

Yesterday, I felt so stupid

in front of school
with Coralie.

Today I've got to have
dinner with Dad.

My life is shit right now.

They have very good soups.

I have to go in an hour.

You do?

For once we're having dinner.

I have to go by a friend's.

His brother had a bike accident.

He's in a bad way.

Okay.

Don't worry.
There are no rules.

I'm older than the average.

How old were you?

16.

With Mom?

No, not with your mom.

I met your mother
the following year.

Yeah, when you were
even younger than me.

Why should they
change the rules?

Greed powers the system.

People can change the system,

the new generation,
you.

Yeah?

I'll get my diploma,
then we'll see.

No risks, huh?

Not right now.

And I got to go.

I wanted to talk to you
about something.

What?

Your sex life.

You're the last person
I want to talk to about that.

Are you happy?

None of your business.

Why?

Yes, I'm happy.
Enough?

No, not enough.

That's all you're getting.

Big kiss, Mom.

You were a long time.

I'm okay.
End of subject.

You're right.

Let's talk about something else.

I want to ask you
something personal.

- Yes?
- Are you cheating on Mom?

No.

Why do you buy
all those condoms?

To be safe with your mother.

Why?

Contraception.

Your mother can't take the pill.

After you were born,
she had an IUD,

but she couldn't adjust.

So when we were making love,
I had to be careful.

You know how it is.

I mean,
pull out on time.

Since then,
we use condoms.

What's the matter?

Pierre always said
I was an accident.

What are you talking about?

We decided to keep you.

We really wanted you.

Honest?

Absolutely.

So tell Pierre
to stop bugging me.

I certainly will.

I can't believe
I'm crying like this.

I'd like some litchis.

A glass of wine, please.

How did it go?

Not great.

Pierre shut up like a clam.

It's not easy.

It's just too bad.

You were right.

You know what?

Romain asked me
about our rubbers.

And?

I explained as best I could.

He thought I was
cheating on you.

He could be right.

You're cheating?

You bet I am.

Didn't you know?

I can even pick and choose.

Lots to choose from.

What's he like?

He's...

auburn hair, brown eyes.

You want to know what we do?

Yes.

Okay.

So lie on the floor naked.

I'm waiting.

You want to know what he does?

Tell me.

He does nothing.

He's my man-toy.

Everybody's fucking
except for me,

and it's driving me crazy.

I can't think about
anything else.

I feel like a time bomb.

I'll Google
"anti-globalizationist. "

That should calm me down.

Want to go to the park?

What for?

Build sand castles?

Ah, no.

You want to kiss me?

Yeah.

We've been celebrating
nonstop for two days.

Yesterday we celebrated
my return to school.

All charges dropped.

Thanks to Coralie,

they knew the whole class
filmed themselves.

They couldn't
suspend everybody.

Pierre said
it's a school of jerkoffs.

And jerkettes, I added.

Marie's new guy,
her sexual fulfillment,

first time he's here.

Then there's Coralie.

The family said
it's now or never.

Stay cool under pressure.

Was it better when
the sex file was taboo?

I'm ready when you are.

It's okay.

I've already seen you hard.

Even in close-up.

Want to know a secret?

Sure.

I did it already
with an older guy.

But right now, for me,

it's like a real first time.

Fuck, I forgot the rubbers.

There's a whole pack there.

Thanks, Dad.

You need help?

That would be nice.

I should have practiced.

One year later...

People are so stupid!

They didn't come to the funeral
just because of how he died.

There was no one,
only us and Nathalie.

Why don't I feel sad?

It's normal.
Think about it.

If everyone could die like that,
dying would be easier.

How nice you film everything,
Coralie.

It makes us feel so important.

Not in every case.

Grandpa was with her
when it happened.

She called Mom.

A heart attack
while he was coming.

Mom said we shouldn't judge.

He was so sly,
with his sudoku and his plants.

I always knew he had a secret.

I'm not that dumb.

He always talked
about the garden.

Roses were his passion.

Isn't that true, Herve?

Who'll take care of them now?

Maxime, maybe.

I'll ask him.

- Who's Maxime?
- Pierre's boyfriend.

He's a florist.

He has a lovely flower shop
by the Saint-Martin canal.

I'm bisexual.

Who cares?

Gay, straight, bi,
you're sexual, that's it.

If you love life,
you love sex.

Michel would surely agree.

For her sex life,
Mom has acquitted all of us.

You know what I was thinking?

No.

About the graveyard.

That would be fun, huh?

Forget the tombs,
it's like a park.

All the trees, the flowers.

Will you shut up?

It's like paying our respects.

No.

You know what's
a real drag with you?

You're always trying
to break the routine,

and it's getting boring.

Don't be mad, pussy dear.
It was just an idea.

Don't call me that.
It's vulgar.

Okay, so it's
Little Miss Chastity today, huh?

Don't be sad.

We could die in an orgy,
it would still be sad.

Better than a long illness.

Some people with Alzheimer's
even forget what sex they are.

That's sad.

My father's dead.
I have the right to be sad.

Yeah, of course, my love.

This is it,
his den.

We'll have to
get rid of it all now.

We both loved sudoku.

He just started one.

Can I take it?

Of course, Nathalie.

I'll finish it
to remember him by.

You felt close to him?

I love men.

That's my problem.

All men.

All?

Yes.

I'm unfaithful at heart.

I realized life's short,
and so I chose it as a career.

It's simple.

I'm independent.

And I can still pick and choose.

Maybe the future's less clear?

Pa's asking if Nathalie
is staying for dinner.

Why not?

No.
I've got a man at 9:00.

Okay.

She has a man at 9:00,
she said.

Coralie's staying?

Yeah.

Means I've got a woman
around 11:00.

Finally cheered him up.

You gonna keep reading?

Yeah.

I feel like it.

What news.

Something different,

out of the routine.

See?

Like, in bed.

Jack yourself off then.

I did already,
when you went to the bakery.

No, I don't believe you.

I swear.

You do that often?

Yes.

As well as us?

Yes.

How do you do it?

You watch porn?

No.

I watch you in my head.

I make my own movie.

Want me to show you?

Usually, I do it
in the bathroom.

Or here in bed,
when you've gone to college.

Tell me what you're thinking,
or it's no fun.

Does it turn you on?

It might.

I'm listening.

In my head,
you're always beautiful.

Your breasts.

Those nipples that I nibble.

The way you smile.

Your cute laugh.

My hand slides down
to your cunt.

My finger strokes all around it.

I want to feel you open up...

So that all your mind
is focused there...

On that part of your body.

That starts to glisten.

Pre-cum moistens my prick.

A natural lubricant,
like you say.

I mix it with your saliva cum.

My what?

You know, it's...

It's not easy
without being vulgar.

Because if you want to know,

in my mind, nothing's ever
vulgar with you, pussy dear.

I really think
Nathalie's great.

Those girls
are always seen as victims,

but she's really confident.

That's why your dad liked her.

Not all prostitutes
are like her.

If it was a dream job,
we'd know.

It's like everything.
You can't generalize.

She proves it.

Would you sleep with her?

- For free, yes.
- Really?

What has she got?

She's great, like you said.

She's had surgery all over.

You asked.
I answered you.

Would you like
my breasts redone?

Don't be silly.

Just a little lift.

That would be better.

No?

Like 10 years ago.

Men have cosmetic surgery now.

You could easily
get rid of that.

Yeah.

This too.

Does it bother you
to grow old together?

It won't stop us growing old.

This is where we age least,
finally.

Until now, anyhow.

She said it turns her on
to be filmed.

And what turns me on
is that she's turned on.

And a little camera training
is always useful.

She likes putting our movies
on the web.

Sometimes we film.
Sometimes we don't.

That's the deal.

She said we have the tools,
why not use them?

And she said, the more you see,
the more you find out.

The more you show yourself,
the more you know yourself.

She thinks about it too much.

Come outside me?

What's the hurry?

When there's no camera,
I come inside her.

I prefer it.

Coralie's not "the one. "

But she'll always be
"the first one. "

That's for sure.

Another one?

Another photo.

The family's growing.

That's Maxime, the florist.

This year, we're all smiling.

Even me.

In the end,
anything is possible.

Time for Mom to open
a new file: Happiness.

Before it all fucks up.

Well, so to speak.