Original subtitles

- Okay, chicas. Ready? - Let's do it.

- Okay, on three. - One.

- Two. - Three.

First day has arrived. Ready to be ready?

Oh, man!

The skirt I bought is at my mom's house.

I thought you were at your mom's house.

No, it's Monday. I'm at my dad's house.

Joint custody. What can I say?

Has anyone seen my turquoise shirt?

You left it here by mistake.

Do you mind if I wear?

- Oh, of course. - Okay.

Turquoise thermal, tank,

and... stripey warmers.

Super cute.

Killer plunge... shorties,

and leopard kicks.

Plaid skirt, lame sweater.

Jade.

What? You know my parents.

Just till I get out of the house.

And then?

And then I'm gonna blow all y'all away.

I guess none of you wanna know what I'm wearing.

Shoes to die for.

Lucky guess. Okay.

40 minutes, front entrance, we walk in together.

- Adios. - Sayonara.

- Do svidaniya. - Ciao, my sisters.

Manny, jandalel

jEs el primero d�a de la escuelal

You have ten seconds to get out of there, you little toad.

Don't get your bragas in a twist.

Perfection takes time, and I'm worth every single second.

Enough with the hair already.

Looking good, chica.

Yasmin, you will pay for this.

Bubbie, Bubbie!

You were waiting for me?

Come on, ni?os. Get dressed.

You don't wanna be late.

Go comb your hair.

And you, you come with me. I got something for you.

Buenos diasl

Oh, hey.

I want you to go get dressed and put these on.

Bubbie!

I know.

So, come on. Pay up.

Chocolate. How do you do that?

I'm not telling.

Nice doing business with you.

Come on!

- Dad. - What?

What would I do without you?

It's probably your mom.

I'll get it.

Tell her that she's gotta take you to the dentist on Thursday.

- Hi, Mom. - Hi.

Did your dad give you breakfast?

I'll be ready in a minute, 'kay?

Okay, beautiful.

Oh, hey, honey, could you tell your dad

he needs to take you to the dentist on Thursday?

Why can't the two of you just talk to each other?

I'm the kid.

You're supposed to be the adults.

By the way, the dentist is on Friday.

Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.

Jade! Jade!

Let me look at you before you go.

Now, remember, Jade, you have Mathletes,

science club, room one, and violin.

Mom, you forgot something.

- I did? - School!

And speaking of which, I gotta go.

Papa. Papa. Take a picture.

Hey, what's up, ladies?

Mom.

Perfect. Have fun.

Bye.

C-A-double-R-Y!

Where's Cloe?

She's here.

- Hi, guys. - Hey, girl.

Okay, it's a big school. It's the first day.

We're just freshmen.

What are we gonna do?

Blend?

- Own it! - Right.

BFFs!

Guys. Hello!

- Re-huddle! - Yeah.

I'm gonna own cheerleading.

I'm gonna try out for soccer.

Yas, you have to join chorus.

You know you have the most insane voice ever.

Not a chance. Remember kindergarten?

Me, "Mary Had a Little Lamb," throw-up, 30 kids screaming?

Yeah. I think I'll own journalism instead.

I'm ownin' the science.

Okay, work the IQ, girl,

but please don't lose your passion for fashion.

Just to keep Mom and Dad off my back.

I'm also gonna rule home ec.

I'm gonna need sewing machines for projects.

I'm gonna have the hottest clothes ever.

Break.

Wow.

Okay, girls. Now let's do it.

Now, being president of the school is a huge responsibility.

And it is one that I take very seriously.

Just sit here, Paris.

Hello.

Dylan, dude, that was a totally...

Avery, Quinn, please pay attention.

I need to become very familiar with the clique lunch table assignment chart.

Because, as you can see, there are 48 distinct cliques.

Let me break this down for you.

You have the goths, the skaters, the disco dorks, the beat boy blingers,

the gangstas, the wanna-be gangstas, the pretzel people who are into yoga,

very different from the greenies who hate anything not made of plants.

Then you have the nerds, the kids who like to dress like dinosaurs,

and the football jocks.

Oh, hi, little freshman. I'm Meredith.

- So... any clubs? - Nope.

- Interests? - Nope.

- Friends? - Nope.

Okay.

- Loner. - Yeah.

- Over there. - I don't get the Ioners.

They're Ioners, but they like to hang out together.

Leave me alone.

Whatever. Next?

I really believe very strongly in renewable energy.

Eco-maniac.

Very good, Cameron. Tree hugger.

Now, if you sit at this table, you'll find some people

who totally rock the "paper versus plastic" debate.

Next!

Good morning, Principal Dimly.

Oh, good morning, students.

Pumpkin pie?

- Good morning Principal Dimly. - Good morning Principal Dimly.

Yes, Daddy, what is it?

You were right.

Chapter 10.

"Control the population.

A: Separate the inmates into groups."

You see, this was your idea.

Advanced thinking. Genius.

Okay. Daddy?

I've told you this more than 50 times.

You may not speak to me during school hours.

Well, dear, everyone knows you're my daughter,

and I'm very proud of you.

Do you want me to tell Mother about this?

Oh, no.

Well, I'm busy now, Daddy.

Bye.

I'll see you at home, then, candy cane.

Next.

Okay, honey, this is a really nice table,

and I promise it will always be the same table

because I understand that change is really upsetting.

Oh, no!

They did not just walk past us without checking in.

Who is that?

No one you even need to think about, Cameron.

They look kind of cool.

Yeah, in a totally trashy, beneath our contempt,

maybe we could find a little spare time to crush them into the dirt sort of way.

- Yeah. - No, Avery, we don't crush.

We focus on the positive here at Carry Nation High.

We help them find their way.

Or else.

Yeah!

You try beating Carry Nation High

Is it just me, or does this all look a little creepily well organized?

See you at lunch!

See ya later.

Excuse me, miss.

Are you in the right room?

Yeah.

A little magnesium, some sodium chloride,

a pinch of perchlorate, a soupcon of strontium nitrate,

and a little bling.

And...

A Bernoulli effect.

You are seriously superior.

We would be honored to have you as a member of our science team.

Yeah, thanks for the accolades.

Everybody, go

Let's go, Falcons

Let's go, Falcons

Last time!

Everybody, go

Let's go, Falcons

Let's go, Falcons

Now, that's the level I expect from a Falcon cheerleader.

- Who's got it? - Please.

You've got something better?

- Oh, you know I do. - So bring it.

Girl, I brought it, nailed it, lent it to my friend's kid sister,

and I brought it back while you were still figuring out the beat.

Yeah!

What are you gawking at?

She's hot.

Hot player. Seriously.

Not bad for a rookie.

In fact, not bad at all.

Yes!

It's very red.

It's very you.

You in?

Why don't you watch where you're going?

Are you blind?

Hello?

No, but I'm deaf.

What?

I'm deaf.

You don't sound deaf.

Well, you don't look ignorant, but I guess you can't judge a book, right?

Where do they think they're gonna sit?

Give me the seating charts.

Hi, guys. I'm Meredith, student body president.

I saw you looking kind of lost, so I thought I'd come over and help.

Thanks, but I think we're good.

It's no problem. I have the seating charts right here.

Well, thanks, but I think we'd rather sit together.

But there's really not a table for that.

That's okay, I'm sure we'll find space somewhere.

But the lunch courtyard isn't organized that way.

Oh, don't worry. We'll figure something out.

- What was that about? - 'Kay.

What are you looking at?

They're just awesome...

ful.

Awful.

Their clothes? Yuck.

Really super awful.

To look at.

Really.

Yeah, I know.

What are we gonna do about them, you guys?

I'll tell you what we're gonna do. Nothing.

Quinn, my system is flawless.

Hey. Hey, Jade.

Look.

Come here. Check out this radical theorem.

You'll absolutely dig it.

- Later! - Bye.

Hey, Sasha, come sit with us.

I gotta go.

- Bye, guys. - Bye, Sasha.

Yo, Cloe. Girl, come check this out.

Oh, my God.

Oh, sure.

You see?

We have no problems at all.

Jade, I'm stuck babysitting. Come over and hang.

Papi made your favorite. Matzo albondigas.

I have Mathletes. Next week?

- I'm booked solid. Yikes. - Next week?

I have journalism.

- How about tomorrow? - We have to make time for each other.

- Wanna come over and study? - Let's do it next week for sure.

You said that the last time.

- Where are you? - I seriously miss you guys.

What's happening here?

You're always busy!

Fine!

- Hey, Sasha. - Yasmin, hey, girl.

Long time, no see. What are you doing here?

We were supposed to go shopping together, remember?

Go, Falcons!

No worries.

My bad, Yas. I'm sorry.

I've got practice with the girls.

Can we do it next week?

Oh, sure.

Yas, you're the best.

We'll do it next week, okay? For sure. I'll call you.

- Okay. Call me. - Bye.

You ruined my hair!

Hey, you can take the bus.

Yo, listen up. That bus is weak.

It's cramped up with freaks.

And I have no time to show my hair mystique.

Word.

Weird.

- Hi, Ali! - Bethany!

Hey, Dexter!

Hey, what's up, ladies?

All right, we can sit down now.

Let's sit down.

Well, well, well, welcome back to another wonderful year

at Carry Nation High School.

And now, without further ado, I'm going to introduce to you

your very popular President of the Student Body,

my little pollywog, my daughter,

Meredith Baxter Dimly.

Good morning.

I am so thrilled to be here as your student body president

once again.

I am here to talk about the talent show, which I will be heading up again.

And the fact that besides the coveted Golden Hatchet,

our wonderful arts committee is providing a spectacular grand prize this semester:

A college scholarship to the school of your choice!

Isn't that amazing?

So you can post your auditions on MySpace...

Hey.

Hi.

Oh, good gloss. Peach party?

Yeah! I just got it! You like it?

- I love it. - I know.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Great lip gloss.

Yeah, it's so shiny and...

- Yes, very. - Yeah.

Shiny.

Yeah, so...

I actually have to get to class.

Oh, yeah, of course. Well...

Have a good class.

- Thanks. - Yeah. Okey-dokey.

- Back at ya. - See ya.

I miss you.

Wow, Meredith, starting a new trend at school?

House frump chic. It suits you.

Seriously, Cherish, I told you, you may not speak to me before noon.

Is that so I don't have to smell your morning breath?

Or is that the dogs?

Did you make your appointment with Extreme Face Makeover yet?

Voila.

Now, you are Fido-fabulous.

Now we are both true fashion icons, aren't we, Paris?

Yeah, fetching.

Get it? Dog?

Fetching?

A dog fetches?

These are the jokes, people!

Dylan, you've been holding out on me.

All this time, I thought you were just some cool jock.

Dylan, Dylan, Dylan. What's up?

Nothing.

I miss it.

I miss music.

I feel you, but you don't have to.

What are you talking about? I can't hear.

Come here.

Feel that?

Yeah, but...

it doesn't mean that I can play it.

True. Come here.

Try it.

Know something, Whitman?

You're a weird dude.

But you're okay. You know that?

Wanna learn a few tricks?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

I can feel that on my neck.

So what're you gonna do for the talent show this year, Meredith?

It doesn't matter. You know she's gonna win.

Just because I'm going to win

doesn't mean that I don't owe all of my fans

a really cool show.

That's true.

Hey. What do you think?

Juggling? Please.

That is so not talent show ready.

Hi.

Who, me?

Yeah.

Okay, Paris, we're a team, and Mommy needs your help.

I need you to go over there. Yes, I do.

And I need you to make sure that Cameron stops talking

to the evil soccer freak.

Okay? Okay? Thank you.

Wow. Hi, l...

- I'm Cloe. - I'm Cameron.

Yeah, I know.

What classes are you in?

Classes?

Stuff.

Cloe! You are the biggest klutz ever!

You always ruin everything...

Oh, no.

Cloe!

Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry.

Oh! No! You didn't!

Jade, you totally did that on purpose!

Oh, my gosh! My hair!

Sasha! You stupid... cheerleader!

You did not just say that!

Keep talking!

Someday you'll say something intelligent.

You know what?

You're not as bad as people say you are.

You're worse!

Food fight!

Yasmin, you...

Cloe, this is all your fault!

Get down here!

Take that! Oh, my gosh!

No! Jade!

- Oh, my gosh. - Here, want some of this?

Enough already!

Oh, my gosh!

Hey, make a hole. Principal Dimly coming through!

Move it!

Principal Dimly's coming through.

Oh, hi, Daddy.

Lookie.

I want to know who did this, or I'm going to...

I'm going to pass this over to Vice Principal Sludge.

Rollo, you take over.

It's the four girls lying next to the statue. Hello.

You, you, you, and you.

Detention.

You started it, clumsy!

I tripped. Excuse me, Princess Perfect.

That is so like you!

You've always been the queen of denial!

You know what?

Neither one of you ever thinks anything through.

It's always me having to pick up the pieces.

That's interesting. We haven't talked in two years.

Ever since you dumped us to be queen of the dorks!

Me?

You haven't spoken to any of us since you went all cheerleader.

I'm not a snob, I'm just better than you are, yeah!

I didn't stop talking to you, you stopped talking to me.

What're you talking about, Sasha?

At least we don't buy our friends with our daddy's bank account.

Only because you don't have a dad or a bank account!

Stop it!

All of you, just stop it.

I can't believe you said that to Cloe.

That's okay.

No. It's not.

When your parents got divorced,

Cloe and her mom were totally there for you.

Don't forget that, Sasha.

Cloe.

I'm sorry.

Can't believe I said that.

What happened to us?

- It's okay. - We were a team.

We always had each other's backs.

Seriously. Like when you canceled your ski trip

to help Cloe study for finals.

That's what friends do. What about you, Yas?

Remember, you completely crushed those girls

that used to slam Jade before she grew into her ears.

Well, she would've done the same for me. Big deal.

It is a big deal.

Friendship is a big deal.

Why aren't we friends anymore?

I can't even remember.

It's the cliques. We're all in them.

That's just how high school works.

Sasha, you're a cheerleader, Cloe's a jock,

and Jade, you spend your time between the science and home ec geeks.

They're not geeks.

They're really interesting people.

Yeah, but I would never know that because I'm not in your clique.

So... what do we do?

We have to take control

of our lives, of our friendships.

It's our own fault.

We can be friends with each other

and do our own thing, right?

Okay. How?

We be ourselves, just like we used to be.

I miss my girls.

Me, too.

I didn't realize how much until now.

BFFs?

BFFs!

- You smell like pasta. - So do you.

I can't believe them.

This is all your fault, Cameron.

Because if you hadn't walked over and talked to that soccer joke,

I wouldn't have had to take action.

And then Daddy's bust would not have been broken.

And those bimbettes wouldn't be in detention and back together

creating anarchy in my kingdom.

Thanks a lot.

Well, if all else fails, I can use this.

Meredith!

I don't think this, you know, calls for the jump drive, Meredith.

Maybe everything will be back to normal by tomorrow.

"Maybe everything will be back to normal by tomorrow."

Moron.

Let's go. I can't stand to look at this.

So tell me, chica, why so happy?

Is there a boy?

Come on, you've been holding out on me.

There's no boy, Bubbie.

It's Sasha, Jade, and Cloe.

We're a team again!

I mean, everyone at school

is only friends with the people in their group,

but we've decided to be friends with everyone.

Well, you girls are doing the right thing.

You walk into school,

you socialize with each other,

with everyone.

You walk in with your heads held high.

And you walk in

with these gorgeous new shoes.

JSon divinasl

jHolal Who's your Bubbie?

JHolal You are!

Bubbie, they're gorgeous! I love them!

Ah-ah-ah. Sweet talk is cheap.

Pay the lettuce.

Dos chocolat�sl

How do you do that?

Te amo, Bubbie.

Mmm, I love the smell of retail in the morning.

That's my Sasha.

Gosh, guys. I missed you so much.

Two years? That's, like, forever.

So what's the latest and greatest?

Same old, same old,

I just wish my parents could see who I really am.

- The worst. - You know, it's not that bad.

It just means I spend a lot of time

changing clothes in skinny bathrooms.

That's so weird. Fashion's like your superpower.

You shouldn't have to hide it.

Please, that's like a textbook definition of superpower.

It's a thing in your life that you're really amazing at,

but you hide it from the world so people will think you're normal.

And you, Yas?

I started writing some music,

and yes, it's sounding pretty good.

And no, you can't hear it.

- Stage fright? - Yeah.

But, Sasha, I mean, it's really been about missing you guys.

Speaking of guys, whoa.

- Whoo! - I know, right?

Yas, look who's walking by

sporting some bad jeans and looking fine.

Oh, my gosh.

He totally just checked you out!

Did you see that? He's into you!

What, Dylan? Are you kidding me?

He hates me.

Besides, he is totally not my type.

Oh, you have a type.

Come on, guys.

Dylan is not the least bit interested in me.

OMG. It's so obvious.

Okay, you are so wrong.

He never looks me in the eye,

he's never asked me out,

and he can never even remember my name.

Oh, my God.

He's crazy about me!

Promise we'll never let anything break us up ever again.

Pinky swear.

Pinky swear!

I love MySpace.

Yeah, that's much.

Next!

Hello! I am Magnificent Mike!

Watch as I place my assistant into the sword box of death.

Prepare to be amazed.

Great.

You're in.

Thank you very much. Next!

If I see one more violin playing contortionist,

I'm going to scream. Next!

I think we're making this too complicated.

I mean, if we wanna be friends, we should just be friends.

I totally agree. I mean, we walk to school.

And we lead by example. Come on.

Yo, Cloe. Come to us.

Serious?

Oh, hey, Jade. Come here. Check this out.

I'm sorry.

Hey, Sasha!

Come sit with us!

I can't.

Are people staring?

Oh, yeah.

Super awkward.

Okay, this is weird.

I think it's time for plan B.

Operation Mingle.

Beautiful!

Wait.

Perfection!

No, straighten your legs.

See, like, don't you have any fancy pair of sneakers

in your Yasmin collection?

I mean, anything under 6 inches.

I just want to stay vertical!

Come on, stay vertical!

Honey, when I'm through with you,

you will be playing your next soccer game in stilettos.

- You serious? - Trust me.

Hey, Dexter.

Salutations, Jade.

Hey, nerd.

Why is she talking to you?

Jade? She's my lab partner.

Hey, hottie.

I bet you and I could do a lab experiment

without the Bunsen burner.

You feel me?

Ugh.

I think it behooves you to extend an apology to the lady.

I don't know what you just said,

but I think you better mind your own business.

Oh, you're gonna cry?

Now, would you like to apologize to the lady?

Sorry, Jade.

Dude, you ever think about playing football?

Okay, so, X + Y + Z

divided by 3 is?

Okay.

Let's try this.

I think this might make more sense.

Oh, yeah.

What's a touchdown?

Six!

- Plus an extra point? - One!

Plus a safety?

Two.

Divided by a field goal?

Three?

It's good!

Number 1! Who's number 1?

Killer rip.

Thanks.

But I think with a little adjustment,

it'd be a whole lot better.

Power comes from your core.

Like this.

See? All right?

- All right. - Try one.

You may want to move, just in case.

I'm good.

Okay.

Oh, no!

I'm such a klutz!

I'm sorry.

- Are you okay? - No worries.

Should we try it again?

Oh, my God, Cherish.

What are you doing?

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Take me to the happy place.

Take me to the happy place.

Hurry up.

Can't you find somewhere else to be a freak?

So embarrassing.

I'm busy now.

Can I ignore you some other time?

Didn't you hear, munchkin?

Everyone does what I tell them to do.

Not from what I hear.

Ouch.

Oh, whatever, Avery.

This is just a temporary loss of control.

I can assure you, I will bring order back to our school.

Now, girls, think.

When was I at the height of my popularity?

- Last week? - Last year's talent show?

- I know this one. - Yes, Quinn?

Your super sweet 16.

She's totally right.

That was, like, the most amazing party ever.

Remember, everyone was, like, sucking up to you

for weeks before just to get an invitation.

Well, then, it's settled.

I'm throwing another super sweet 16 party.

Um, but you're already 16.

I'm throwing another super sweet 16.

In fact, I'll have MTV tape the whole thing.

My mom is best friends with the producers.

Why is she throwing another sweet 16?

I'm not really sure, exactly.

I'm going to use the invitations

to bring organization and harmony back to our school.

Oh, I get it.

No cliquey, no tickey.

You have a visitor.

And that'll crush those snotty girls forever.

And then we'll live happily ever after. Brilliant!

Yo, Cherish, you left your shoes at ballet class.

Hey, it's a total chick farm.

Athletic and yet very hot.

Me likey.

Me thinky you're a twerp.

So what do you think of my hair today?

I did this side just for you.

Don't you need a license to be that ugly?

Ooh, I like 'em feisty.

Isn't that Yasmin's little brother?

Yeah. What's he doing here?

Hey, looking good, mamitas.

Ugh. Okay, that is truly gross.

Oh, my God.

You have the most incredible hair ever.

I know, right?

I'm going out for best hair this year.

No doubt. Anyway...

why don't you come over here and tell me all about yourself.

Are you kidding me?

Okay. Here, keep this dry.

So, your sister Yasmin.

She is so sweet.

I mean, what's it like having such a perfect sister?

Yeah, what's it like?

Perfect? Ha ha!

Have you actually met her?

You're so funny.

I mean, she's just so good at everything, right?

You think so? Check this out.

It's truly fantastic.

Wow.

She is precious.

I just have to have this for my collection.

Do you think you could transfer it to this?

Yeah, sure.

Meredith's MTV... my super sweet 16.

Yeah, it's gonna be totally even more incredibly awesome than the last one.

How excited are you?

She already had a sweet 16.

What do you think she's up to?

Does it matter?

Hello? It's a party.

This can't be good.

Come on.

Oh, my God, how cute is this?

Darling. Love it.

Apparently so.

Come on, girl. Give it up.

Tell us what's wrong.

I'm not going to Meredith's party.

Okay? I can't afford to buy anything new.

You guys need to go without me.

I mean it.

Oh, my God, Cloe. Stop it right now, okay?

The only way you could embarrass us

is if you don't walk into Meredith's

ridiculously extreme extravaganza.

Yeah, and we've been pulled apart for too long.

It's not happening again, not for anything,

and especially not for Meredith.

But, Sasha, I have nothing to wear.

You do now.

I have two guilt certificates.

One from my mom and one from my dad.

And now one for you.

Hey, divorce isn't all that bad.

Now come on, girl, we've got some serious shopping to do!

Mwah!

Come on!

Aah!

The mall hath no fury like a shopper scorned.

Yeah.

Good job, girl.

- Thank you. - I'm proud of you.

Pop your balloons to see if you're invited

to my MTV Super Sweet 16 party!

Now, seating will be organized according to groups,

so if you don't belong to a group,

you really can't come to my party.

So until then, I'll be watching you.

Go ahead, pop 'em!

Oh, my God, this is so fabulous.

I knew it. It was too good to be true.

I just don't understand why Meredith is so evil.

I mean, what are we gonna do about her party?

Nothing, okay? We don't go.

If we can't go to the festival of Meredith on our own terms,

then trust me, it's not worth it.

Yas, it's gonna be an amazing party!

Yeah. And, if we don't go,

we can be branded as total losers and outcasts.

But I'm willing to take the risk.

I'm with Yasmin. Skip the ego trip.

Yeah, I second that emotion.

- But, guys... - Sasha, no.

Okay, I hear you.

It's just... there's this tragic new outfit out there

that's just calling my name.

But... hey, you know?

I'm hanging up and changing my number.

Hold me.

Oh, honey. You'll be just fine.

Come on.

No.

I agree. Absolutely not.

Don't look, Paris.

I'd rather die.

That's the one.

Show me...