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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:32,074 Oh, you're so good. 2 00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:35,410 Oh, yes. I am the best, baby. 3 00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:37,829 - Oh, yeah! - Oh, that was a tit. 4 00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:40,332 That is a tit! Yes! 5 00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:42,334 Oh, you're so big! 6 00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:45,170 Oh, yeah. That's right, baby. 7 00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:47,464 Doggie wants to hide his bone. 8 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,716 I'm bone smugglin', baby. 9 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,844 Man, would you shut up! 10 00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:54,346 Hey, Jimmy. Just wanted to say sweet dreams. 11 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:56,348 Sweet dreams. Good night, Mom. 12 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,934 Kiss good night. 13 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:03,021 - Something wrong with the reception? - Yeah. Yeah. 14 00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:05,691 There's this nature show that I'm trying to watch. 15 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:08,277 And the birds are all scrambled and I can't even... 16 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,612 Do me! Yes! 17 00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:12,698 Baby! Ride me like a pony! 18 00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:16,201 The thing must be broken or I sat on the remote or something. 19 00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:18,704 - Getting ready for bed, son? - I'm all set, Dad. 20 00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,874 No, I think he's tried to watch some illegal channels. 21 00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:24,918 - Illegal channels? - This is just bad reception, honey. 22 00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:27,004 - Spank my hairy ass! - What's that? 23 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,338 Oh, baby! 24 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,883 You know what? Just give me this, please... 25 00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:33,760 - Oh, my God! - And let's get this... 26 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:37,556 Okay, okay. What the hell's the matter with this thing? 27 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:38,974 Yes! 28 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:51,945 Illegal channels? Shit! 29 00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:55,574 If there's any channel that should be illegal, it's that all-woman's channel. 30 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:59,411 Lifetime supply of pantihose or some shit. 31 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:02,789 Did you see The Little Mermaid on TV the other night? 32 00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:06,710 - Ariel, man, she's so hot! - She's a mermaid, dude. 33 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,879 Yeah, Oz. But not when she's on land. 34 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:12,758 Come on, Vicky, it's Stifler's party. We got to go. It'll be great. 35 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:17,679 All that happens at Stifler's parties is people get drunk and do it. 36 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,599 Come on, Kevin. Open it. 37 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:23,936 It's a big, thick envelope, Vicky. You got in. 38 00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:26,188 If you think so, just open it. 39 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,232 Fine. 40 00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:38,909 "Dear Miss Latham: We're sorry but after keeping you on the waiting list... 41 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:43,038 for the past couple of months, we've decided that you are now rejected. " 42 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:45,958 - Shut up! - You got in. 43 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,836 Yes! I love you! 44 00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:01,139 You think I should wear this shirt to Stifler's party? 45 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:03,767 You've worn that shirt for three days in a row, man! 46 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,853 Guys, she said it. 47 00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:08,313 - Said what? - She said she loves me. 48 00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:10,691 Holy shit, dude! The "L" word? 49 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:13,318 Cornell's not that far from "U" of "M." 50 00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:16,905 It's only, like, seven hours. And you get to drive across Canada. 51 00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:18,866 Beautiful country. 52 00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:21,869 Whatever. It's doable. 53 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:24,496 What we should do today, in band... 54 00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:28,417 instead of playing our instruments regularly, we should play backwards. 55 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,878 - That'd be so funny! - Yeah. 56 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:39,511 You're talking about a post-high school long-distance relationship. 57 00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:43,682 - And you and Kevin haven't even done it. - That's not why we're going out. 58 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:47,352 What do you expect him to drive to Cornell for? Milk and cookies? 59 00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,605 We're gonna have sex when he's ready and I'm ready. 60 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,773 It's got to be completely perfect. 61 00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:54,943 I want the right time, the right moment, the right place... 62 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,779 Vicky, it's not a space shuttle launch. It's sex. 63 00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:04,786 - Finch. - Here's the man we are looking for. 64 00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,330 - What's goin' on, buddy? - Same ol'... 65 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:11,168 Finch. You got the Latin homework? 66 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:18,091 It means, "My dog ate it. " It's Latin. 67 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:21,845 - It's a Latin joke. - Latin. Just drink your coffee. 68 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:25,224 - No, Jim, it's mochaccino. - What? 69 00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:27,392 It's mochaccino. It's not coffee. 70 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:29,603 'Nova! 71 00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:33,857 - What's up, dude? - Comin' to the party, you fuckface? 72 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:36,318 Depends if my date wants to stop by. 73 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:39,571 - I'm workin' on somethin' new. - I got an idea about something new. 74 00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:41,990 How about you guys actually locate your dicks... 75 00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:44,910 remove the shrink-wrap and fucking use them! 76 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:48,747 Dude, it's gonna happen. She's a college chick. 77 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,250 Oh, right. I'll see you guys tonight. 78 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:55,003 I'll look for you in the no-fucking section. 79 00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:02,302 I'm shooting for a 9:00 E.T.A. Beer in hand by five after. 80 00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:04,596 Breath check. 81 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,735 - I wish you wouldn't do that. - You got something up your sleeve? 82 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,613 This is a foolproof plan, my friend. 83 00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,782 I have a serious question to ask you guys. 84 00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:27,494 You know Nadia the Czechoslovakian chick? She might be there tonight. 85 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,788 Do you think she would prefer... 86 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,918 laid-back Jim, or... 87 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:38,922 cool, hip Jim? 88 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:42,426 I don't think it really matters with that shirt you're wearing. 89 00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:46,805 You're the one with the girlfriend, and you're still stranded on third base. 90 00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:49,850 Hey, at least I know what third base feels like. 91 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:53,937 - You're still just a batboy. - Batboy. What are you talking about? 92 00:05:55,147 --> 00:05:57,024 Guys, uh... 93 00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:00,360 What exactly does third base feel like? 94 00:06:00,444 --> 00:06:02,529 You wanna take this one? 95 00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:06,450 Like warm apple pie. 96 00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:10,120 Apple pie, huh? 97 00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:14,124 McDonald's or home-made? 98 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:17,836 Gentlemen, destiny awaits. 99 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,387 That's number five and six for the Stifmeister! 100 00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:34,228 Holy! 101 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:39,233 Nadia! Buenos dias. Glad you could make it. 102 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:41,401 I'll be back for you later. 103 00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:50,160 - Another party sultan! - How ya doin'? 104 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,496 Welcome to Stifler's Palace of Love, fellas. 105 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:55,541 The keg's back there! Enjoy! 106 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:59,670 Vicky, Jessica! Great to see you. Glad you could make it. 107 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,547 Bitches! 108 00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:03,382 - Sherman! - Hey! 109 00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:05,968 What the fuck are you doin' here? 110 00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:11,014 Fellas! What's goin' on? 111 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:15,686 Sherman. Not much. Just scopin' the babes. 112 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:19,731 Indeed! Some fine ladies here, boys. 113 00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:22,943 Confidence is high. Repeat. Confidence is high. 114 00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:25,445 Sherman is movin' to DEFCON 2. 115 00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:28,866 Full strategic arsenal ready for deployment. 116 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,076 You have somethin' goin' tonight, Sherman? 117 00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,245 You see that Central chick, Bernette? 118 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:38,375 She's around. Seems she's taken a liking to me. 119 00:07:39,835 --> 00:07:43,172 It's time she experienced the Shermanator. 120 00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:45,549 Yeah, okay, Sherman. Whatever. 121 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:49,678 I'm a sophisticated sex robot sent back through time... 122 00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:53,265 to change the future for one lucky lady. 123 00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:56,810 - Go get 'em, tiger. - I'll be back! 124 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,939 - Hopeless. - Completely. 125 00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:03,066 - Hi. - Hey, Vic. 126 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:06,028 Oh, shit. Guys... Guys... 127 00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:09,740 There's Nadia and she just looked at me. 128 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,451 - She just looked at me. - Why don't you go talk to her? 129 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,665 You're right, Kev. I should just go talk to her. 130 00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:22,794 I could do that. Sure. 131 00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:07,631 That's great! 132 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,772 See ya later. 133 00:09:31,947 --> 00:09:33,490 We're here for the party. 134 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:37,744 What party? There's no party. 135 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:46,545 Weird. Try the house down the street. 136 00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:53,385 So, what's your major? 137 00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,804 Post-modern feminist thought. 138 00:09:55,888 --> 00:09:58,974 Oh, cool. Great night, isn't it? 139 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,934 Sure. 140 00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:07,733 Yeah, it's just somethin' about the springtime that's just cool, you know? 141 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:11,195 Like the smell of fresh rain or somethin'. 142 00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:17,159 - Suck me, beautiful. - What did you just say? 143 00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:19,077 Suck me, beautiful. 144 00:10:21,914 --> 00:10:26,251 My friends call me "'Nova," as in Casanova. 145 00:10:26,335 --> 00:10:27,711 That's pathetic. 146 00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:32,216 Jeez, you don't have to laugh at me. 147 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,259 There's just some things you need to learn. 148 00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:36,637 - Like what? - Well, you've got to tone it down. 149 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,931 You don't need to come to a place like Lookout Point... 150 00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:41,934 and spout off cheeseball lines to be romantic. 151 00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:45,521 - Okay. - You have to pay attention to a girl. 152 00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:49,483 Be sensitive to her feelings. Relationships are reciprocal. 153 00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:53,820 Come on, Casanova. I'll take you back to your friends. 154 00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:03,288 Vicky, think it's time to take the next step in our relationship? 155 00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:07,125 - Tonight? - Yeah, it's such a perfect evening. 156 00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:09,628 I mean, it's how you've always pictured it, isn't it? 157 00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:11,880 Damn, my farts fuckin' stink! 158 00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:16,468 Dude, you gotta take a shit! You smell like a Yeti! 159 00:11:16,552 --> 00:11:18,095 Or not. 160 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,931 Just relax. 161 00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,145 You actually said that? 162 00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:30,816 Shut up! 163 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,985 You did a hell of a lot better than I did with Nadia. 164 00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:36,029 Oh, thanks, Jim, that's great. That's really reassuring. 165 00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:38,615 Hey, no problem, 'Nova. 166 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:42,619 Hey, don't call me 'Nova any more. I'm a fraud. 167 00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:45,122 You guys are pathetic. 168 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,291 I'm gonna find myself a little hottie. 169 00:11:48,167 --> 00:11:50,794 "Suck me, beautiful"! 170 00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:59,428 - Let me know. - Okay. 171 00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:01,847 Keep going. 172 00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:04,433 I should be able to talk to girls. 173 00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,852 I'm articulate. 174 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:09,188 You know, I got a 720 on my S.A.T. verbal. 175 00:12:09,271 --> 00:12:11,481 Bullshit. There's no way. 176 00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:15,444 I kid you not, man. Look. Listen. 177 00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:17,696 Copious. 178 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,740 Verisimilitude. 179 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:23,076 Oh, now. 180 00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:35,380 Suck me, beautiful! 181 00:12:35,464 --> 00:12:38,258 - Damn it, Stifler. - Checkout time! 182 00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:41,386 Please, vacate the room. 183 00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:43,597 You are such a jerk. 184 00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:51,230 God, I can't believe how many cool people are at this party. 185 00:12:54,650 --> 00:12:56,944 And you got a keg too! 186 00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:59,863 - Wow! - Indeed. 187 00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:08,080 Oh, wait. I left my beer downstairs. 188 00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:10,499 No. No. Here, babe! 189 00:13:12,543 --> 00:13:13,669 Thanks. 190 00:13:13,752 --> 00:13:17,005 You're really beautiful. Oh... 191 00:13:17,089 --> 00:13:20,342 - Really? - Oh, yeah. 192 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,985 You know what? I don't know if I want to be doing this. 193 00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,903 Doing what? 194 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:42,823 You know, if we hook up tonight... 195 00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:45,868 tomorrow I'll just be some girl you go telling your friends about. 196 00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:49,204 No way! 197 00:13:49,288 --> 00:13:53,208 Steve, you could at least look at me when you say that! 198 00:13:53,292 --> 00:13:54,334 Look. 199 00:13:55,627 --> 00:14:01,008 Sarah, I wouldn't go telling stories or anything about you. 200 00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:05,679 I promise. So, just relax. 201 00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:09,933 Take it slow, and let the good times roll. 202 00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:15,647 - Okay. - All right. 203 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,406 What's wrong? 204 00:14:26,325 --> 00:14:28,619 What's wrong? What is it? 205 00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:33,207 Xenophobic. 206 00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:43,383 - Regurgitation. - I know that one. 207 00:14:44,426 --> 00:14:47,804 - Kevin likes it. - He likes getting head. 208 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,390 Gee, what a total shocker. What about you, Vicky? 209 00:14:50,474 --> 00:14:52,643 I mean, have you just never had one with Kevin... 210 00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:54,686 or have you never had one, period? 211 00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:55,938 I've had one. 212 00:14:57,272 --> 00:14:59,441 - I think. - Okay. 213 00:14:59,525 --> 00:15:03,320 That's a no. No wonder you're not psyched about sex. 214 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,364 You never even had one manually? 215 00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:08,700 - I've never tried it. - You've never double-clicked your mouse? 216 00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:12,579 Nice! 217 00:15:12,663 --> 00:15:14,665 Jesus! How much did you drink? 218 00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:17,209 Hey, Stifler? 219 00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:20,212 - How's the pale ale? - Fuck you! 220 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:26,802 - That's Stifler's mom? - Yup. 221 00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:31,723 Shit. I cannot believe a fine woman like this produced a guy like Stifler. 222 00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:34,935 - Dude, that chick's a "MILF." - What the hell is that? 223 00:15:35,811 --> 00:15:39,106 M-I-L-F... Mom I'd like to fuck. 224 00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:42,150 Yeah, dude! Oh, yeah! 225 00:15:42,234 --> 00:15:45,279 - Yeah! MILF! - Hey, guys. 226 00:15:45,362 --> 00:15:50,033 - Come here. - Sherman, what's goin' on? 227 00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:53,162 Don't you think you fellas could try a little tact? 228 00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:56,957 I got company, if you know what I mean? 229 00:15:59,585 --> 00:16:02,087 She's hot! 230 00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:09,386 If Sherman has sex before I do, I'm gonna be really pissed. 231 00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:14,725 The Shermanator? 232 00:16:16,185 --> 00:16:18,270 Come on, man. 233 00:16:19,605 --> 00:16:21,857 MILF! MILF! 234 00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:26,111 MILF! MILF! Hey, dude. What are you doin' to her, dude? 235 00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:29,573 Oh, my God, bro, dude. 236 00:16:30,866 --> 00:16:34,495 Enough of this blow job bullshit. I gotta get laid already. 237 00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:37,456 That's nice. Really, really nice. 238 00:16:37,539 --> 00:16:40,792 - Can I have a ride? - Sure. 239 00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:43,504 - Vicky, wait. - Not for you. 240 00:16:44,588 --> 00:16:48,509 Yeti! I am the Yeti! 241 00:16:57,142 --> 00:17:00,479 - Good morning, gentlemen. - Finch, where were you last night? 242 00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:02,856 What happened to that foolproof plan of yours? 243 00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:06,193 I was going for a fashionably late entrance, and I was too late. 244 00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:08,946 So, no ladies left. 245 00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:11,573 It was a very special night, very special. 246 00:17:12,908 --> 00:17:14,743 Guys. Guys. 247 00:17:17,329 --> 00:17:20,666 - I'll never forget this. - I'll never forget it, either. 248 00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:22,626 Thank you. 249 00:17:33,846 --> 00:17:37,015 Fellas, say goodbye to Chuck Sherman, the boy. 250 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:39,810 I am now a man. 251 00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:42,563 I highly recommend you join the club. 252 00:17:42,646 --> 00:17:45,983 We were doin' the wild thing all night. 253 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,026 I'm exhausted. 254 00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:51,113 I don't get it. How the hell did you do that? 255 00:17:52,573 --> 00:17:55,909 It was just my time. It was just my time. 256 00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:59,705 Best of luck to you boys. 257 00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:05,210 - I cannot believe this. - Come on, guys. 258 00:18:05,294 --> 00:18:07,129 We should be happy for Sherman. 259 00:18:10,299 --> 00:18:11,633 No, we shouldn't be. 260 00:18:11,717 --> 00:18:14,553 You know, I put in months of quality time with Vicky. 261 00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:17,306 Sherman meets a chick for one night and scores. 262 00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:20,058 - This is just wrong. - No shit. 263 00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:23,645 How the hell am I supposed to become Mr Sensitive Man? 264 00:18:23,729 --> 00:18:27,399 We're all gonna go to college as virgins. You realize this, right? 265 00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:29,902 They probably have special dorms for people like us. 266 00:18:29,985 --> 00:18:34,740 All right. I got an idea. But it's got to stay between us. 267 00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:37,659 It's really simple. We just got to make an agreement. 268 00:18:37,743 --> 00:18:39,745 It's more than an agreement. 269 00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:41,997 - A bet? - A pact. 270 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,333 No money involved. More important than any bet. 271 00:18:44,416 --> 00:18:48,253 Here's the deal. We all get laid before we graduate. 272 00:18:49,630 --> 00:18:52,841 Dude, it's not like I haven't been trying to get laid. 273 00:18:52,925 --> 00:18:56,887 Think about when you work out, Oz. You gotta have someone to spot you. 274 00:18:56,970 --> 00:19:00,849 Someone to keep you motivated. That's what we can do for each other. 275 00:19:00,933 --> 00:19:03,602 We'll be there to keep each other on track. 276 00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:06,104 Separately we are flawed and vulnerable, but together... 277 00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:08,273 we are the masters of our sexual destiny. 278 00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:12,277 Their tiger-style kung fu is strong, but our dragon-style will defeat it. 279 00:19:12,361 --> 00:19:12,945 Guys! 280 00:19:13,028 --> 00:19:15,822 The Shaolin masters from East and West must unite! 281 00:19:15,906 --> 00:19:18,450 - Fight, and find out who is number one. - Guys! 282 00:19:18,534 --> 00:19:23,372 Come on. You're ruining my moment here. This is our very manhood at stake. 283 00:19:23,455 --> 00:19:25,999 We must make a stand, here and now. 284 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:30,796 No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused! 285 00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:34,967 We will fight for every man out there who isn't getting laid and should be. 286 00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:38,554 This is our day. This is our time. 287 00:19:38,637 --> 00:19:42,933 And, by God, we will not stand by and watch history condemn us into celibacy. 288 00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:45,060 - Amen. - I like that. 289 00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:48,981 - We will make a stand. We will succeed. - 'Bout time! 290 00:19:49,064 --> 00:19:51,650 We will get laid! 291 00:19:53,277 --> 00:19:54,862 The sex. 292 00:19:54,945 --> 00:19:57,239 It's got to be valid, consensual sex. 293 00:19:57,322 --> 00:20:00,659 No prostitutes. That's what you're thinkin', Finch. 294 00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:02,161 Busted. 295 00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:05,998 So, basically, prom is our last chance. 296 00:20:06,081 --> 00:20:08,167 - Dude, prom sucks. - I know. 297 00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:10,335 But you gotta think about it this way. 298 00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:14,381 I mean, all the parties afterwards? The chicks are going to want to do it. 299 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:17,467 He's right. It's like tradition or something. 300 00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:20,387 - Like the Rose Bowl. - So, that gives us... 301 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,764 Exactly three weeks to the day. 302 00:20:24,516 --> 00:20:27,186 - We're gonna do this. - To the next step! 303 00:20:27,269 --> 00:20:28,228 Next step! 304 00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:21,114 Well, did you get the flowers? 305 00:21:49,768 --> 00:21:51,687 You'll get her back soon enough. 306 00:21:51,770 --> 00:21:54,022 - You think so? - She likes you. 307 00:21:54,106 --> 00:21:55,315 - I like her too. - Do you love her? 308 00:21:57,526 --> 00:22:00,362 You know what? You can't really ask me that. 309 00:22:00,445 --> 00:22:03,365 If you want to get her in the sack, just tell her you love her. 310 00:22:03,448 --> 00:22:06,368 - That's how I was duped. - Look, Jessica. 311 00:22:06,451 --> 00:22:08,620 I don't want to dupe her. 312 00:22:10,164 --> 00:22:14,293 All right. What you need to do is learn how to press a girl's buttons. 313 00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:16,461 You have to give her what she's never had. 314 00:22:16,545 --> 00:22:19,965 - What's that? - Let me give you a hint. 315 00:22:24,136 --> 00:22:27,264 - �Comprende? - You mean an orgasm. 316 00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:28,765 You got it, stud. 317 00:22:28,849 --> 00:22:31,810 Well, I'm pretty sure that I've given her a... 318 00:22:31,894 --> 00:22:35,814 - No, you haven't. - Well, there was one time... 319 00:22:35,898 --> 00:22:38,817 - No. - Oh, man. 320 00:22:39,109 --> 00:22:43,363 Look, kid, it's up to you. The big "L" or the big "O." 321 00:22:43,614 --> 00:22:46,742 Dickhead! You gotta see this. 322 00:22:46,825 --> 00:22:50,913 Do you believe in magic In a young girl's heart 323 00:22:50,996 --> 00:22:54,500 How the music can free her whenever it starts 324 00:22:54,583 --> 00:22:59,004 And it's magic if the music is groovy It makes you feel... 325 00:22:59,087 --> 00:23:01,590 What did you cocks do to him? 326 00:23:01,673 --> 00:23:04,468 I'll tell you about the magic It'll free your soul 327 00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:08,889 But it's like tryin'to tell a stranger 'bout rock 'n'roll 328 00:23:08,972 --> 00:23:11,141 Great. See you next time. 329 00:23:15,938 --> 00:23:18,941 Hey, guys. Came to watch me in action? 330 00:23:19,024 --> 00:23:21,693 - I think you sounded pretty good. - Yeah, man. 331 00:23:21,777 --> 00:23:23,612 I think you need your balls reattached. 332 00:23:23,695 --> 00:23:27,282 - Hey, keep it down, dude. - What the fuck are you doing here? 333 00:23:27,366 --> 00:23:29,409 This place is an untapped resource. 334 00:23:29,493 --> 00:23:33,288 I mean, check it out. These vocal jazz girls are hot. 335 00:23:33,372 --> 00:23:36,124 Why the hell is he joining jazz choir so late? 336 00:23:36,208 --> 00:23:39,962 Maybe he's preparing for another senior year at East? 337 00:23:40,045 --> 00:23:42,714 You guys, we don't even know him. 338 00:23:46,134 --> 00:23:47,970 You dipshit! 339 00:23:48,053 --> 00:23:52,182 You're expecting to score with some goody-goody choirgirl priss? 340 00:23:52,266 --> 00:23:56,311 These chicks don't know me. I can work the sensitive angle here, fellas! 341 00:23:56,395 --> 00:23:58,605 You know, it's just like that college chick told me. 342 00:23:58,689 --> 00:24:01,733 All that you gotta do is just ask 'em questions... 343 00:24:01,817 --> 00:24:03,777 and listen to what they have to say and shit. 344 00:24:03,861 --> 00:24:08,198 I don't know, man. That sounds like a lot of work! 345 00:24:11,577 --> 00:24:13,412 Just a second! 346 00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:20,752 Come in. Come in. 347 00:24:20,836 --> 00:24:23,130 Oh, Jim, you're here. 348 00:24:23,213 --> 00:24:26,592 I was just walking by your room and... 349 00:24:26,675 --> 00:24:30,721 And, you know, I was thinking, "Boy, it's been a long time since we've had... 350 00:24:30,804 --> 00:24:33,223 a little father-son chat. " 351 00:24:34,558 --> 00:24:38,687 Oh! I almost forgot. I bought some magazines. 352 00:24:39,688 --> 00:24:41,982 Do you just want to flip to the centre section? 353 00:24:44,193 --> 00:24:46,778 Well, this is the... this is the female form. 354 00:24:46,862 --> 00:24:49,781 And they have focused on the breasts... 355 00:24:49,865 --> 00:24:54,620 which are used primarily to feed young infants... 356 00:24:54,703 --> 00:24:58,290 and also in foreplay. 357 00:24:58,373 --> 00:24:59,416 Right. 358 00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:02,794 This is... This is Hustler. 359 00:25:02,878 --> 00:25:06,590 And this is a much more exotic magazine. 360 00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:11,470 Now, they have decided to focus more on the pubic region... 361 00:25:11,553 --> 00:25:15,390 - Right. - The whole groin area. 362 00:25:15,474 --> 00:25:19,269 Look at the expression on her face. You see that? See what's she's doing? 363 00:25:19,353 --> 00:25:22,731 She's kind of looking right into your eyes saying... 364 00:25:22,814 --> 00:25:26,318 "Hey, big boy. Hey, how ya doin'?" 365 00:25:26,401 --> 00:25:28,695 - You see? - Right. 366 00:25:30,948 --> 00:25:34,326 Shaved is a magazine I'm not too familiar with... 367 00:25:34,409 --> 00:25:39,081 but, again, if you flip to the centre... 368 00:25:39,164 --> 00:25:41,166 section... 369 00:25:41,250 --> 00:25:45,796 Well, you see the detail that they go into in this picture here. 370 00:25:45,879 --> 00:25:51,009 It almost looks like a tropical plant or something, underwater thing. 371 00:25:51,093 --> 00:25:53,679 - Do you know what a clitoris is? - Oh, my God. 372 00:25:53,762 --> 00:25:56,139 - Don't say, "Oh... " - I know what a clitoris is. 373 00:25:56,223 --> 00:25:58,517 You've been there and back. You know everything. 374 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:03,230 I've learned about it in Sex Ed. I don't need you to talk about clitoris. 375 00:26:03,313 --> 00:26:05,983 You know what? I'm sorry, okay? 376 00:26:06,066 --> 00:26:09,486 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - I'm sorry. 377 00:26:09,570 --> 00:26:13,282 I shouldn't have got hot there. You know what I'm going to do, Jim? 378 00:26:13,365 --> 00:26:15,826 I'm going to just leave these books here... 379 00:26:15,909 --> 00:26:19,371 for you to peruse at your... at your leisure. 380 00:26:20,247 --> 00:26:21,999 Wait! 381 00:26:27,296 --> 00:26:29,381 Well, safer than a tube sock. 382 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:35,387 - Okay, that was good. - Yeah. 383 00:26:37,347 --> 00:26:40,934 - See you at dinner. - Yeah. I'll see you at dinner. 384 00:26:41,727 --> 00:26:43,687 So, Finch, this is your plan? 385 00:26:43,770 --> 00:26:47,149 You know, I don't think girls are into the whole mini-golf thing. 386 00:26:47,232 --> 00:26:49,359 Kevin, I'm sure that they're not. 387 00:26:49,443 --> 00:26:53,113 Actually, there is one small matter that I need to ask for your cooperation in... 388 00:26:53,197 --> 00:26:56,200 - in the spirit of this pact. - What do you need? 389 00:26:56,283 --> 00:26:59,411 Whatever you hear about me, you agree. And tell all the boys the same thing. 390 00:26:59,495 --> 00:27:03,373 Look, I gotta go. Sixteen minutes round-trip. 391 00:27:03,457 --> 00:27:06,251 You know, Finch, it's senior year. 392 00:27:06,335 --> 00:27:08,670 Don't you think it's time you learned how to take a dump at school? 393 00:27:08,754 --> 00:27:12,090 When was the last time you looked at the facilities in this school? 394 00:27:19,848 --> 00:27:23,310 Excuse me. That's Paul Finch, right? 395 00:27:24,561 --> 00:27:26,688 You've seen him in the locker room, right? 396 00:27:28,649 --> 00:27:31,818 My friends, they want to know: Is it true? 397 00:27:31,902 --> 00:27:34,613 You know, that he's equipped. 398 00:27:34,696 --> 00:27:38,784 I have no idea. Finch showers with his bathing suit on. 399 00:27:38,867 --> 00:27:41,286 I mean... 400 00:27:41,370 --> 00:27:44,623 As a matter of fact, it is true. The guy's huge! 401 00:27:44,706 --> 00:27:47,876 - Does he have a date for the prom yet? - No, definitely not. 402 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,962 All right. Thanks. 403 00:27:51,338 --> 00:27:53,757 Oh, man! 404 00:27:54,216 --> 00:27:58,929 So I was thinking maybe you could give me some advice, brother to brother. 405 00:27:59,012 --> 00:28:02,182 I thought you might know a trick or somethin'to make her... 406 00:28:02,266 --> 00:28:03,308 Orgasm? 407 00:28:03,392 --> 00:28:06,228 - Yeah. - What's good here? 408 00:28:06,311 --> 00:28:08,522 - Try the spicy tuna hand roll. - What? 409 00:28:08,605 --> 00:28:10,023 How do you do that? 410 00:28:10,107 --> 00:28:12,401 Never mind that. Pay attention. 411 00:28:12,484 --> 00:28:15,821 Is that all that you're interested in, tryin' to get your girl into bed? 412 00:28:15,904 --> 00:28:19,074 It'd be good to be able to, you know, return the favour. 413 00:28:19,158 --> 00:28:21,577 Be nice to know she enjoys things as much as I do. 414 00:28:21,660 --> 00:28:24,913 Good. That's what I wanted to hear. Now you qualify. 415 00:28:24,997 --> 00:28:28,750 - Qualify for what? - You've just inherited the Bible. 416 00:28:31,962 --> 00:28:34,047 It originally started as a sex manual... 417 00:28:34,131 --> 00:28:37,509 this book that some guys brought back from Amsterdam. 418 00:28:37,593 --> 00:28:40,262 Each year it got passed on to one East student who was worthy. 419 00:28:40,345 --> 00:28:44,474 Now, it's full of all sorts of stuff that guys have added over the years. 420 00:28:46,894 --> 00:28:52,149 But you have to keep it a secret and return it at the end of the year. 421 00:28:52,232 --> 00:28:55,152 So now you know. Good luck. 422 00:29:02,618 --> 00:29:04,870 - If you believe in magic - Magic 423 00:29:04,953 --> 00:29:06,830 Don't you bother to choose 424 00:29:06,914 --> 00:29:10,083 If it's jug band music or rhythm and blues 425 00:29:10,167 --> 00:29:13,504 Just go and listen It will start with a smile 426 00:29:13,587 --> 00:29:17,508 That won't wipe off your face no matter how hard you try 427 00:29:17,591 --> 00:29:20,469 Your feet start tappin' And you can't seem to find 428 00:29:20,552 --> 00:29:22,971 How you got there 429 00:29:23,055 --> 00:29:25,724 Do you believe in magic 430 00:29:30,896 --> 00:29:33,232 Yeah, magic 431 00:29:33,315 --> 00:29:35,567 What was that? 432 00:29:35,651 --> 00:29:38,237 - Sorry. - No, it was good. 433 00:29:40,656 --> 00:29:44,076 Well, it... It came from the heart. 434 00:29:44,159 --> 00:29:48,163 Keep it coming. All right, people, good work. 435 00:29:48,247 --> 00:29:53,418 Don't forget. The state competition's a couple of weeks away, so keep on it. 436 00:30:04,012 --> 00:30:07,808 - Not bad, Chris. - Really? 437 00:30:10,018 --> 00:30:12,437 Thanks. Heather, right? 438 00:30:13,981 --> 00:30:16,942 You've got this sort of Frank Sinatra thing going on. 439 00:30:17,025 --> 00:30:21,697 Right. I feel like I've discovered this whole new side of me. 440 00:30:21,780 --> 00:30:24,324 I mean, music is so expressive. 441 00:30:25,367 --> 00:30:28,912 Okay, I agree, but aren't you supposed to be out... 442 00:30:28,996 --> 00:30:32,749 trying to decapitate someone with your lacrosse stick or something? 443 00:30:32,833 --> 00:30:36,795 Oh, sure, sure. You know, I know what people think. 444 00:30:36,879 --> 00:30:40,507 It's like, "Oz, he's just this kick-ass lacrosse player. " 445 00:30:40,591 --> 00:30:44,887 I also play football, by the way, but that's not all that I am, you know? 446 00:30:44,970 --> 00:30:46,763 Of course, I didn't... 447 00:30:46,847 --> 00:30:51,310 It really bothers me when people try to pigeonhole me like that. 448 00:30:51,393 --> 00:30:55,731 You? You think I don't get that? 449 00:30:55,814 --> 00:30:59,151 God, it's like just because I don't get drunk and barf every weekend... 450 00:30:59,234 --> 00:31:03,572 that people say, "Look, there's this Goody Two-Shoes choirgirl priss. " 451 00:31:04,448 --> 00:31:07,951 Yeah. So, like, what else do you do? 452 00:31:08,744 --> 00:31:11,455 Well, the same things you do... 453 00:31:11,538 --> 00:31:14,416 like hang out with friends and stuff. 454 00:31:14,500 --> 00:31:16,835 Why? What do you think I do? 455 00:31:16,919 --> 00:31:21,298 I just realized that I don't know anything about you. I was interested. 456 00:31:23,383 --> 00:31:25,219 What do you want to know? 457 00:31:25,302 --> 00:31:28,096 You know, stuff about you. 458 00:31:31,016 --> 00:31:33,060 All right. 459 00:31:34,811 --> 00:31:37,606 Mom, I'm home! 460 00:32:34,663 --> 00:32:36,331 Oh, yeah. 461 00:32:41,837 --> 00:32:44,173 It's not what it looks like. 462 00:32:50,512 --> 00:32:53,182 Well, we'll just tell your mother that... 463 00:32:53,265 --> 00:32:55,267 that we ate it all. 464 00:33:35,307 --> 00:33:37,809 Goal by number eight, Chris Ostreicher. 465 00:33:41,647 --> 00:33:43,774 - Nice game. - Good game. 466 00:33:47,486 --> 00:33:50,447 Hey, what are you doin' here? 467 00:33:50,531 --> 00:33:53,951 Just enjoying my first exhilarating lacrosse experience. 468 00:33:54,034 --> 00:33:56,578 - You kicked butt. - Oh, thanks. 469 00:33:56,662 --> 00:33:59,748 - Chris... - You can call me Oz. 470 00:33:59,832 --> 00:34:02,209 - Do I have to? - You can call me Ostreicher. 471 00:34:02,292 --> 00:34:04,336 - What's your middle name? - Forget it. 472 00:34:04,419 --> 00:34:08,048 - I won't tell anyone. - Well, neither will I. 473 00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:15,264 So, I had this thought and... 474 00:34:15,347 --> 00:34:17,683 It may seem like it's way out of left field. 475 00:34:17,766 --> 00:34:19,768 I don't know if you can... 476 00:34:19,852 --> 00:34:22,271 but since I'm not going with anybody, I thought that maybe... 477 00:34:22,354 --> 00:34:25,023 Those guys sucked ass! 478 00:34:25,107 --> 00:34:27,359 Choir chick, what the hell are you doing here? 479 00:34:28,277 --> 00:34:32,239 Well, I was asking Chris to prom. 480 00:34:32,322 --> 00:34:34,199 So, do you want to go? 481 00:34:34,283 --> 00:34:37,828 Oh, yeah! That would be great. 482 00:34:38,704 --> 00:34:41,039 Just don't expect Oz to pay for the limo! 483 00:34:41,123 --> 00:34:44,293 Stifler, fuck! I mean... 484 00:34:45,335 --> 00:34:48,422 Why do you got to be so insensitive all the time? 485 00:34:49,464 --> 00:34:51,133 What? 486 00:34:52,259 --> 00:34:55,637 Whatever. Look, don't forget. My cottage after prom. 487 00:34:55,721 --> 00:34:58,223 On Lake Michigan. 488 00:34:59,266 --> 00:35:01,935 Wait up, you pussies! 489 00:35:03,312 --> 00:35:05,731 Well, I gotta hit the showers now... 490 00:35:05,814 --> 00:35:09,568 but I think this is gonna be really, really good. 491 00:35:09,651 --> 00:35:12,196 Yeah. Me too. 492 00:35:12,279 --> 00:35:13,655 All right. 493 00:35:21,246 --> 00:35:25,417 - Happenin' Oz! - Working with the choir chick? 494 00:35:25,501 --> 00:35:29,087 What d'ya say, fellas? I just dig those cute little sweaters she wears. 495 00:35:29,171 --> 00:35:31,882 Nuts you do, you little horn dog. 496 00:35:33,467 --> 00:35:36,011 Yeah! Yeah, baby! 497 00:35:36,094 --> 00:35:38,597 Spank me! Spank me! 498 00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:40,641 Hit that high "C"! 499 00:35:46,355 --> 00:35:47,689 What's goin' on? 500 00:35:52,945 --> 00:35:55,405 I was being selfish and majorly insensitive. 501 00:35:55,489 --> 00:35:58,367 I'm a total idiot. I mean, a fool, a buffoon. 502 00:35:58,450 --> 00:36:00,953 I think shithead really says it. 503 00:36:01,036 --> 00:36:05,541 You're right. I'm a shithead, and I want to make it up to you. 504 00:36:05,624 --> 00:36:08,210 Oh, yeah? How? 505 00:36:11,755 --> 00:36:14,424 Vicky, shh. Your parents are downstairs. 506 00:36:14,508 --> 00:36:17,636 - Kevin, don't stop! - Just a second. 507 00:36:31,733 --> 00:36:35,904 Hon, can you tell Vic to come on down for supper? 508 00:36:35,988 --> 00:36:37,781 Holy shit! 509 00:36:37,865 --> 00:36:41,827 Shh. You know there's no lock on your door? 510 00:36:48,750 --> 00:36:50,836 I'm coming! I'm coming! 511 00:36:55,048 --> 00:36:56,717 - Oh, Jim! - Dad. 512 00:36:56,800 --> 00:37:00,345 I was just looking at the old family portrait out here. 513 00:37:00,429 --> 00:37:03,056 Well, that was a fun day wasn't it? 514 00:37:03,140 --> 00:37:05,601 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. 515 00:37:05,684 --> 00:37:08,604 Jim, I want to talk about masturbation. 516 00:37:10,022 --> 00:37:14,276 I just want you to know that it's a perfectly normal thing. 517 00:37:14,359 --> 00:37:16,528 And I have to admit, you know... 518 00:37:16,612 --> 00:37:21,074 I did a fair bit of masturbating when I was a little younger. 519 00:37:21,158 --> 00:37:25,287 I used to call it "stroking the salami. " 520 00:37:25,370 --> 00:37:27,789 You know, "pounding the ol' pud. " 521 00:37:30,542 --> 00:37:32,711 I never did it with baked goods. But you know your Uncle Mort? 522 00:37:32,794 --> 00:37:35,214 He "pinched the one-eyed snake" six times a day. 523 00:37:35,297 --> 00:37:39,510 See, it's like practise for the big game. 524 00:37:39,593 --> 00:37:42,721 You see? It's like... It's like... 525 00:37:42,804 --> 00:37:46,099 banging a tennis ball against a brick wall. 526 00:37:46,183 --> 00:37:50,145 Which can be fun. It can be fun, but it's not a game. 527 00:37:50,229 --> 00:37:52,606 - Right. - It's not a game. 528 00:37:52,689 --> 00:37:56,151 What you want is you want a partner to return the ball. 529 00:37:56,235 --> 00:37:59,738 - Do you want a partner? - Yeah, I want a partner. 530 00:37:59,822 --> 00:38:01,740 - You do? - I want a partner. 531 00:38:01,824 --> 00:38:05,869 Want a partner. Good. Good. 532 00:38:08,747 --> 00:38:12,376 So, once Hal becomes king, he has to take on... 533 00:38:12,459 --> 00:38:14,795 the responsibilities of leadership and turn his back... 534 00:38:14,878 --> 00:38:17,381 on his old, drunken friend, Falstaff. 535 00:38:17,464 --> 00:38:21,927 You see, Hal is going through a rite of passage, much like you all are. 536 00:38:22,010 --> 00:38:26,431 So make most of the time you've got left together. You'll miss it later. 537 00:38:26,515 --> 00:38:28,725 So, does your tongue cramp up? 538 00:38:28,809 --> 00:38:31,895 Nah. You get kind of dizzy, though. 539 00:38:31,979 --> 00:38:36,733 Wow. That's amazing. She's probably gonna want to do it soon. 540 00:38:39,736 --> 00:38:41,989 All right. Class dismissed. 541 00:38:44,449 --> 00:38:48,203 Still questing after the Holy Grail, huh, guys? 542 00:38:52,791 --> 00:38:57,171 - Hey, where's Finch? - He went home to take a shit. 543 00:38:57,254 --> 00:39:01,550 I don't get it. How does a guy like that get this sudden reputation? 544 00:39:01,633 --> 00:39:05,053 - What reputation? - Observe. 545 00:39:05,137 --> 00:39:09,141 Excuse me. Do you know who Paul Finch is? 546 00:39:09,224 --> 00:39:11,560 Yeah! He's the guy with the tattoo, right? 547 00:39:12,644 --> 00:39:16,648 You know, the eagle and the blazing fire and that stuff. 548 00:39:18,525 --> 00:39:22,321 If you guys see him later, will you tell him Courtney says hi? 549 00:39:22,404 --> 00:39:23,447 Bye. 550 00:39:25,991 --> 00:39:28,827 Okay. Explain. 551 00:39:28,911 --> 00:39:31,872 I can't. I don't know how he's doing it. 552 00:39:32,789 --> 00:39:35,209 I guess that just leaves Jim trailing. 553 00:39:35,292 --> 00:39:37,753 - Jimbo! - Better sack up, buddy! 554 00:39:37,836 --> 00:39:40,005 Yeah, I know. I'm working on it. 555 00:39:40,088 --> 00:39:43,967 James? You are very good in the world history class, yes? 556 00:39:44,051 --> 00:39:46,845 Me? Yes. No... 557 00:39:47,638 --> 00:39:49,223 Yes, I am. 558 00:39:49,306 --> 00:39:51,600 Perhaps you could help me with my studies. 559 00:39:51,683 --> 00:39:55,938 Yeah. Absolutely. That would be great sometime. 560 00:39:56,021 --> 00:40:00,567 - How about tomorrow? - Well, I have ballet practise. 561 00:40:00,651 --> 00:40:03,821 Perhaps I could come by your house afterwards? 562 00:40:03,904 --> 00:40:06,156 I could change clothes at your place. 563 00:40:10,828 --> 00:40:13,664 Yeah. I suppose that would be okay. 564 00:40:13,747 --> 00:40:15,624 Sure. 565 00:40:23,674 --> 00:40:26,093 Nice car! 566 00:40:26,176 --> 00:40:28,595 - I'm glad you think so. - You don't like it? 567 00:40:28,679 --> 00:40:32,057 No, I like the car. By the way, though, about prom? 568 00:40:32,140 --> 00:40:35,060 That was a bad idea. I'm sorry I invited you. 569 00:40:35,143 --> 00:40:38,272 - What are you talkin' about? - Please. 570 00:40:38,355 --> 00:40:41,775 I asked you because I thought you might actually be worth going with. 571 00:40:41,859 --> 00:40:46,029 But you are just a jock. No, wait. You're a jerk. 572 00:40:46,113 --> 00:40:48,699 Wait! I don't understand. 573 00:40:48,782 --> 00:40:52,411 I saw you making fun of me with your lacrosse buddies. 574 00:40:52,494 --> 00:40:54,163 I wasn't makin' fun of you. 575 00:40:54,246 --> 00:40:56,832 Give me a break. You're so full of it. 576 00:41:00,043 --> 00:41:05,132 Fuck me! There's gonna be an Eastern European chick naked in your house. 577 00:41:05,215 --> 00:41:07,342 And you're not gonna do anything about that? 578 00:41:07,426 --> 00:41:11,180 What am I gonna do, huh? Broadcast her over the Internet? 579 00:41:11,263 --> 00:41:14,725 - Yeah. - You can do that? 580 00:41:19,855 --> 00:41:22,274 No. I cannot do that to her. 581 00:41:22,357 --> 00:41:25,777 Jim, get some fuckin' balls. 582 00:41:25,861 --> 00:41:28,906 If you don't have the guts to photograph a naked chick... 583 00:41:28,989 --> 00:41:30,657 how you gonna sleep with one? 584 00:41:30,741 --> 00:41:33,368 I don't like the kid, but he's got a point. 585 00:41:33,452 --> 00:41:36,914 See, even Shit-break knows you should do it. 586 00:41:36,997 --> 00:41:40,292 All you gotta do is set up some sort of private link or whatever on the 'Net... 587 00:41:40,375 --> 00:41:42,377 and tell me the address. 588 00:41:42,461 --> 00:41:45,255 You can send me the address too. 589 00:41:45,339 --> 00:41:48,467 I'll save you a seat. 590 00:41:48,550 --> 00:41:53,805 How sweet it is to be loved by you, by you 591 00:41:53,889 --> 00:41:56,558 I needed the shelter of someone's arms 592 00:41:56,642 --> 00:41:58,477 Someone's arms 593 00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:02,356 - There you were - You were 594 00:42:02,439 --> 00:42:06,985 I needed someone who understands my ups and downs 595 00:42:07,069 --> 00:42:09,071 There you were 596 00:42:09,154 --> 00:42:12,741 Okay, that was good, but I want to thicken up that solo. 597 00:42:12,825 --> 00:42:15,828 Michigan State is this Saturday, and I want that part to smoke. 598 00:42:15,911 --> 00:42:18,205 Yeah, I know, my timing's off. 599 00:42:18,288 --> 00:42:21,959 It's not that. I think it'll work better as a duet with a tenor part. 600 00:42:22,042 --> 00:42:24,002 I'll do it. 601 00:42:25,337 --> 00:42:27,965 - Dick. - I'll do it. 602 00:42:28,048 --> 00:42:30,050 Great. See you tomorrow. 603 00:42:36,890 --> 00:42:40,060 - Why are you doing this? - 'Cause I want to. 604 00:42:40,143 --> 00:42:43,522 Yeah? Well, you can't fake this. 605 00:42:43,605 --> 00:42:45,691 You better practise. 606 00:42:57,953 --> 00:42:59,079 Come in. 607 00:43:00,789 --> 00:43:05,377 Jim? There's a... a young lady here to see you. 608 00:43:05,460 --> 00:43:07,713 - Hey, Nadia. - Hi, James. Ready to study? 609 00:43:07,796 --> 00:43:10,507 He's always ready to study. He's a real bookworm. 610 00:43:10,591 --> 00:43:12,050 Dad. 611 00:43:12,134 --> 00:43:14,052 He's not one of those nerdy guys... 612 00:43:14,136 --> 00:43:15,512 Dad! 613 00:43:15,596 --> 00:43:19,016 Well, I'll let you two hit the books. 614 00:43:23,145 --> 00:43:26,190 You want a beer? 615 00:43:26,273 --> 00:43:30,068 - Oh, there we go. - Come on, move! 616 00:43:30,152 --> 00:43:34,656 Steve! It's my computer, and I wanna use it! 617 00:43:34,740 --> 00:43:36,241 Shut up! 618 00:43:36,325 --> 00:43:38,994 You need to change, right? 619 00:43:39,077 --> 00:43:42,206 - Uh, do you mind? - No, not at all. 620 00:43:42,289 --> 00:43:45,667 Please, you know. Just go ahead and get changed. 621 00:43:45,751 --> 00:43:49,129 I'll go downstairs and start studying up. 622 00:43:51,757 --> 00:43:53,800 There he goes. 623 00:43:53,884 --> 00:43:55,177 Now we're in business. 624 00:43:58,472 --> 00:44:00,682 - Back in a sec. - Jimmy, honey... 625 00:44:23,956 --> 00:44:25,290 Here she is. 626 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:30,587 - Did I miss anything? - No. You are just in time. 627 00:44:30,671 --> 00:44:34,091 - Oh. Oh! - This is incredible. 628 00:44:34,174 --> 00:44:36,885 Oh, my God! This is too much. 629 00:44:36,969 --> 00:44:39,972 Oh, did you see? Oh, there that goes. Oh, Jeez. 630 00:44:40,472 --> 00:44:42,391 God bless the Internet. 631 00:44:44,685 --> 00:44:47,938 - Do it. Take it off. - Oh, my God. 632 00:44:48,021 --> 00:44:50,732 Oh, thank you, God, for this wonderful, wonderful day. 633 00:44:50,816 --> 00:44:53,360 She takes her vitamins. 634 00:44:57,489 --> 00:44:59,408 Stop hyperventilating. 635 00:45:04,454 --> 00:45:09,251 This is, like, the coolest thing I've ever seen. 636 00:45:09,334 --> 00:45:10,961 I know. 637 00:45:12,588 --> 00:45:15,257 This is definitely one of Stifler's best ideas ever. 638 00:45:16,842 --> 00:45:18,927 What is she... She's touching my stuff. 639 00:45:19,011 --> 00:45:21,680 - Why is she touching my stuff? - Let her touch. 640 00:45:21,763 --> 00:45:24,766 - She's going through my stuff! - Nadia can touch anything she wants. 641 00:45:34,485 --> 00:45:36,945 - No, no. - Nice collection there. 642 00:45:37,029 --> 00:45:39,698 She's gonna leave. She's definitely gonna... 643 00:45:39,781 --> 00:45:42,409 She's getting comfortable. She's not gonna leave. 644 00:45:42,493 --> 00:45:45,204 She reads the articles. 645 00:45:58,091 --> 00:46:00,385 Is she? 646 00:46:00,469 --> 00:46:02,262 She's goin' downstairs. 647 00:46:13,398 --> 00:46:17,444 - Oh, my God! - Jackpot, baby! 648 00:46:17,528 --> 00:46:20,823 - Can you believe this? - I would have never known! 649 00:46:20,906 --> 00:46:25,452 I have an announcement to make. There is a gorgeous woman... 650 00:46:25,536 --> 00:46:27,663 masturbating on my bed! 651 00:46:27,746 --> 00:46:29,248 Thank you, Nadia! 652 00:46:29,331 --> 00:46:33,168 If you ever had a chance with Nadia, this is it. 653 00:46:33,252 --> 00:46:36,046 What am I supposed to do, Kev? 654 00:46:36,129 --> 00:46:37,798 Seduce her. 655 00:46:39,299 --> 00:46:40,968 What the hell would I say? 656 00:46:41,051 --> 00:46:44,388 Go over there and ask her if she needs an extra hand. 657 00:46:44,471 --> 00:46:45,889 That's stupid, Kev. 658 00:46:45,973 --> 00:46:48,392 That's not stupid! You're stupid if you don't go! 659 00:46:48,475 --> 00:46:50,435 Come on! Get over there! 660 00:46:50,519 --> 00:46:52,771 - Get goin'! She's prime. - Get out of here! 661 00:46:52,855 --> 00:46:56,525 - She's waitin' for you. - Okay, I'm goin'. 662 00:46:56,608 --> 00:46:58,277 - Go! - I'm goin'! 663 00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:00,279 - Go! - Oh, shit. 664 00:47:20,632 --> 00:47:22,718 Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. 665 00:47:28,599 --> 00:47:31,393 Oh, boy. Oh, God. Oh, no. 666 00:47:33,812 --> 00:47:34,855 Hello? 667 00:47:34,938 --> 00:47:37,816 Looks like Jim addressed the e-mail wrong. 668 00:47:37,900 --> 00:47:38,650 What? 669 00:47:38,734 --> 00:47:41,987 It went out to every mailbox in the East High directory. 670 00:47:42,070 --> 00:47:44,031 God, how juvenile. 671 00:47:44,114 --> 00:47:46,033 Hey, guys! 672 00:47:46,825 --> 00:47:49,411 Check this out! Oh, my God! 673 00:47:56,043 --> 00:48:00,422 Please, God, let this be it. 674 00:48:00,506 --> 00:48:02,257 Please? 675 00:48:06,220 --> 00:48:07,554 Somebody's goin' in. 676 00:48:12,267 --> 00:48:14,561 Here you go. That's what you need to do. 677 00:48:14,645 --> 00:48:16,772 - That guy's in my trig class. - Oh, no. 678 00:48:19,358 --> 00:48:21,401 Looks like you could use an extra hand. 679 00:48:21,485 --> 00:48:22,861 Jim! 680 00:48:22,945 --> 00:48:25,823 - Oh, God. - Shame on you. 681 00:48:25,906 --> 00:48:30,577 Yeah, shame on me. I'm so sorry. I'm just gonna go. 682 00:48:32,204 --> 00:48:33,997 You have seen me. 683 00:48:34,081 --> 00:48:37,167 Now it's my turn to see you. 684 00:48:38,710 --> 00:48:40,087 Strip! 685 00:48:42,005 --> 00:48:44,424 - Strip? - Slowly. 686 00:48:46,093 --> 00:48:48,637 You mean, like, strip strip? 687 00:48:48,720 --> 00:48:50,013 For me. 688 00:48:51,932 --> 00:48:55,352 - What is he talkin' to her about? - I have no idea. 689 00:48:55,435 --> 00:48:59,022 Come on, Jim. People are viewing. Get to business. 690 00:49:02,234 --> 00:49:03,819 Perfect! 691 00:49:05,362 --> 00:49:08,323 - Move, James! Move! - Yeah, yeah. Move. 692 00:49:16,373 --> 00:49:18,625 Go, trig boy! It's yer birthday! 693 00:49:30,095 --> 00:49:31,680 - No! - Please, God. 694 00:49:31,763 --> 00:49:34,183 - Come on. - What's going on? 695 00:49:39,062 --> 00:49:42,149 - Yes! - All right. Get in the mix! 696 00:49:42,232 --> 00:49:43,442 There. 697 00:49:46,153 --> 00:49:47,863 This is disgusting. 698 00:49:47,946 --> 00:49:51,617 What the fuck is this? 699 00:49:52,951 --> 00:49:55,037 Cut it out, man! 700 00:50:13,931 --> 00:50:15,182 Freak. 701 00:50:20,437 --> 00:50:22,606 Did not just take out that chair. 702 00:50:22,940 --> 00:50:26,693 - Yup, he took out the chair. - More, more, you bad boy! 703 00:50:26,777 --> 00:50:30,781 Oh, yeah, I'm naughty. I'm naughty, baby. 704 00:50:30,864 --> 00:50:32,908 Oh, God! 705 00:50:39,873 --> 00:50:42,084 Now, come to me. 706 00:50:43,168 --> 00:50:45,796 Oh, yeah. 707 00:50:52,678 --> 00:50:54,680 - Here we go. - He's in. 708 00:50:54,763 --> 00:50:56,598 This just got a hell of a lot better. 709 00:50:56,682 --> 00:51:00,727 - Be gentle. - Okay. 710 00:51:18,495 --> 00:51:21,123 - You've done that before, dude. - Houston, we have a problem. 711 00:51:23,834 --> 00:51:27,045 What happened? What did he do? 712 00:51:27,129 --> 00:51:28,255 He blew it. 713 00:51:29,256 --> 00:51:31,967 - I guess I'll be going now. - No, no. 714 00:51:32,050 --> 00:51:36,430 I'm not done, Nadia. I've got reserves. 715 00:51:36,513 --> 00:51:39,016 Nadia, please, please. I'm begging you. 716 00:51:39,099 --> 00:51:42,144 Well, I do like your dirty magazines. 717 00:51:42,227 --> 00:51:46,607 You do? Okay, well, did you see this one? 718 00:51:47,608 --> 00:51:52,279 This here is your more exotic, risque magazine. 719 00:51:52,362 --> 00:51:54,364 - He's pullin' out the porn. - He's desperate. 720 00:51:54,448 --> 00:51:56,366 Jim, just wait till she leaves. 721 00:51:56,450 --> 00:51:59,036 Very arousing women. They arouse me... 722 00:51:59,119 --> 00:52:01,079 They arouse me very, very much. 723 00:52:01,163 --> 00:52:04,958 But, uh... But not as arousing as you. 724 00:52:05,042 --> 00:52:07,669 Oh, Jim! 725 00:52:07,753 --> 00:52:09,421 Oh, God! 726 00:52:13,592 --> 00:52:15,052 Yes! 727 00:52:17,221 --> 00:52:19,348 He's ruining daisy! 728 00:52:22,476 --> 00:52:26,480 So, uh, "shaved" is the expression? 729 00:52:30,234 --> 00:52:31,443 Holy shit. 730 00:52:31,527 --> 00:52:32,945 Holy shit! 731 00:52:33,028 --> 00:52:34,738 Holy shit! 732 00:52:34,822 --> 00:52:37,491 - Holy shit! - Touch me, Jim. 733 00:52:39,952 --> 00:52:41,119 Here. 734 00:52:45,582 --> 00:52:48,001 - Again? - Not again. 735 00:52:48,085 --> 00:52:51,338 - Not again, man! - Is that possible? 736 00:52:51,421 --> 00:52:53,841 What a loser. 737 00:53:20,742 --> 00:53:25,414 I needed someone to understand my ups and downs 738 00:53:25,497 --> 00:53:29,084 There you were 739 00:53:29,168 --> 00:53:32,004 With sweet love and devotion 740 00:53:32,796 --> 00:53:35,591 Deeply touching my emotion 741 00:53:35,674 --> 00:53:37,843 I just wanna stop 742 00:53:37,926 --> 00:53:40,262 And thank you, baby 743 00:53:42,472 --> 00:53:44,892 - Hey, minute man! - Shut up. 744 00:53:44,975 --> 00:53:47,561 You're supposed to be supportive. 745 00:53:47,644 --> 00:53:51,648 You think you still got a chance with Nadia? 746 00:53:51,732 --> 00:53:54,526 No. Her sponsors here saw the thing on the 'Net. 747 00:53:54,610 --> 00:53:58,739 - I really don't think they liked it. - How do you know that? 748 00:53:58,822 --> 00:54:00,908 She's already on a plane back home. 749 00:54:03,035 --> 00:54:06,830 You know, guys? Maybe I'm just not good with girls, period. 750 00:54:06,914 --> 00:54:10,375 No, really. Like I was born without that part of the brain. 751 00:54:10,459 --> 00:54:12,544 I mean, I can't talk to girls. 752 00:54:12,628 --> 00:54:14,713 And when I do talk to them, I screw it up. 753 00:54:14,796 --> 00:54:17,925 Come prom, those excuses aren't going to do you any good. 754 00:54:21,220 --> 00:54:23,388 And one time at band camp... 755 00:54:23,472 --> 00:54:25,641 we weren't supposed to have pillow fights... 756 00:54:25,724 --> 00:54:28,769 but we had a pillow fight, and it was so much fun. 757 00:54:28,852 --> 00:54:31,897 And this one time, we all lost our music... 758 00:54:31,980 --> 00:54:35,234 and we were supposed to play this song, but we didn't know it... 759 00:54:35,317 --> 00:54:39,196 so we just made it up and we kept playing and playing... 760 00:54:39,279 --> 00:54:43,242 and the conductor didn't know what we were doing, and it was so funny. 761 00:54:43,325 --> 00:54:45,869 So, you're pissed about somethin', huh? 762 00:54:45,953 --> 00:54:49,581 You know what I do when I'm angry? I just play some Bach on my flute. 763 00:54:49,665 --> 00:54:52,543 It's so relaxing. I learned to do that at band camp. 764 00:54:52,626 --> 00:54:54,711 Hold on. 765 00:54:54,795 --> 00:54:57,673 You have no idea why I'm angry? 766 00:54:57,756 --> 00:54:59,466 Because we have a test tomorrow? 767 00:54:59,550 --> 00:55:04,555 Sometimes I get cranky when I know I have a big test to study for. 768 00:55:04,638 --> 00:55:08,642 - Yeah, that's pretty much it. - I thought so. 769 00:55:08,725 --> 00:55:11,436 - Because this one time at band camp... - What's your name? 770 00:55:11,520 --> 00:55:13,397 - Michele. - Okay. 771 00:55:16,608 --> 00:55:18,944 Do you want to be my date for the prom? 772 00:55:19,027 --> 00:55:21,780 Really? You seriously want to go with me? 773 00:55:26,118 --> 00:55:28,495 Yes. Seriously. 774 00:55:28,579 --> 00:55:32,166 Are we going to Stifler's party after? Because that would be so cool. 775 00:55:32,249 --> 00:55:34,668 Sure, whatever you want. 776 00:55:34,751 --> 00:55:37,546 Cool! We're gonna have such a good time. 777 00:55:37,629 --> 00:55:42,843 It'll be like this one time at band camp when we all had a campfire... 778 00:56:00,736 --> 00:56:04,323 - How'd you know I was here? - Stifler told me. 779 00:56:04,406 --> 00:56:07,826 - Talked to Stifler? - Well, I needed to find you. 780 00:56:07,910 --> 00:56:10,037 We're gonna have to work on that song. 781 00:56:11,246 --> 00:56:14,166 Okay. I'm glad you came by. 782 00:56:14,249 --> 00:56:16,460 So you work nights? 783 00:56:18,754 --> 00:56:21,590 - My dad's the manager. - Really? 784 00:56:21,673 --> 00:56:24,760 Cool. Tell him the subs are great. 785 00:56:26,970 --> 00:56:29,681 - So you're going to Michigan next year? - Yeah. 786 00:56:29,765 --> 00:56:32,518 My parents want me to go to Northwestern, but... 787 00:56:32,601 --> 00:56:35,437 I don't wanna write all those extra essays they make you do. 788 00:56:35,521 --> 00:56:37,898 I mean, how am I supposed to know... 789 00:56:37,981 --> 00:56:41,318 what my "most emotionally significant moment" was? 790 00:56:41,401 --> 00:56:45,948 So when my "U" of"M" acceptance came in December, I just said the hell with it. 791 00:56:46,031 --> 00:56:48,033 - Onions? - What? 792 00:56:48,116 --> 00:56:50,661 You want onions? 793 00:56:50,744 --> 00:56:52,663 Oh, no, thank you. 794 00:56:55,457 --> 00:56:58,043 So what are you gonna major in? 795 00:56:58,126 --> 00:56:59,753 State's got a good business school... 796 00:56:59,837 --> 00:57:02,172 and I could probably walk on to the lacrosse team. 797 00:57:02,256 --> 00:57:06,134 Well, you've got it pretty figured out, then, huh? 798 00:57:06,218 --> 00:57:09,847 I mean, business is okay, and lacrosse is awesome, but... 799 00:57:09,930 --> 00:57:13,016 what am I gonna be, a professional lacrosse player? 800 00:57:13,100 --> 00:57:15,018 I really have no idea. 801 00:57:15,102 --> 00:57:18,397 Thank God. I thought I was the only one. 802 00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:20,440 Well, you're not. 803 00:57:21,900 --> 00:57:23,944 So we're gonna be close next year. 804 00:57:31,910 --> 00:57:33,829 You mean East Lansing and Ann Arbor? 805 00:57:37,332 --> 00:57:41,170 - What are you talkin' about? - I can't go to the prom with you. 806 00:57:41,253 --> 00:57:43,338 I'm holding out for someone else. 807 00:57:43,422 --> 00:57:45,632 You gotta be fuckin' kidding me. 808 00:57:45,716 --> 00:57:50,053 I know it's a long shot, but I figure Paul Finch might ask me. 809 00:57:50,137 --> 00:57:54,141 Finch. Shit-break. 810 00:57:54,224 --> 00:57:56,935 Oh, gosh. I forgot. 811 00:57:57,019 --> 00:57:59,438 You look okay. 812 00:57:59,521 --> 00:58:02,941 I mean, the scars healed really well. 813 00:58:03,025 --> 00:58:04,985 - Hey, Stifler. - Eat shit. 814 00:58:07,821 --> 00:58:09,781 What was that all about? 815 00:58:09,865 --> 00:58:12,534 He's still embarrassed because Finch kicked his ass. 816 00:58:12,618 --> 00:58:14,244 Who told you that? 817 00:58:14,328 --> 00:58:16,455 What do you mean, "no comment"? 818 00:58:16,538 --> 00:58:19,625 - Did you two hook up? - Are you kidding? No. 819 00:58:19,708 --> 00:58:23,253 Then how did all this get started? 820 00:58:23,337 --> 00:58:26,548 Well, I guess it's all right for me to tell you now. 821 00:58:26,632 --> 00:58:29,801 That reputation of his isn't going anywhere. Cheese, please. 822 00:58:29,885 --> 00:58:32,846 Finch comes up to me and says, "Jessica... 823 00:58:32,930 --> 00:58:35,557 I need your help with this, blah, blah, etcetera. " 824 00:58:35,641 --> 00:58:37,976 So I said, "All right. Pay me 200 bucks... 825 00:58:38,060 --> 00:58:40,938 and I'll tell a couple of girls that you're dynamite in bed. " 826 00:58:41,021 --> 00:58:43,774 So he did, and I did. 827 00:58:43,857 --> 00:58:45,943 - That actually works? - Well, of course. 828 00:58:46,026 --> 00:58:48,487 Naturally, I embellished a little bit. 829 00:58:48,570 --> 00:58:51,073 Did you hear that Finch had an affair with an older woman? 830 00:58:51,156 --> 00:58:53,075 No, I didn't hear that one. 831 00:58:53,158 --> 00:58:55,744 That one was my favourite. 832 00:58:55,828 --> 00:58:57,830 Do that cheerleader. 833 00:58:57,913 --> 00:59:01,416 - Thank you, baby - She wants me. She calls me up... 834 00:59:01,500 --> 00:59:05,963 How sweet it is to be loved by you 835 00:59:06,046 --> 00:59:09,174 Oh, my God, you're gay! 836 00:59:09,258 --> 00:59:11,176 Sing it with me. You know the words. 837 00:59:11,260 --> 00:59:14,471 No, thanks, man. You've been singin' that shit all week. 838 00:59:14,555 --> 00:59:18,225 If you try that at M.S.U. this Saturday, I'll kick your ass. 839 00:59:18,308 --> 00:59:20,310 Our last game is this Saturday. 840 00:59:20,394 --> 00:59:22,521 Yeah, well, shit. 841 00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:29,528 I've got this lacrosse game. It's really important. It's our last game. 842 00:59:29,611 --> 00:59:33,365 Central almost beat us last time, so this time I really wanna kick their ass. 843 00:59:33,448 --> 00:59:36,160 But it's gonna be cool, because the game's at State... 844 00:59:36,243 --> 00:59:38,787 which means afterwards I'll be able to stop by. 845 00:59:38,871 --> 00:59:40,873 So you can't sing at the competition. 846 00:59:40,956 --> 00:59:43,667 Heather, I'm sorry. I totally blew it. 847 00:59:43,750 --> 00:59:48,463 It's okay. You should do what makes you happy. 848 00:59:50,090 --> 00:59:53,802 All right. Listen, thanks for understanding. 849 00:59:56,430 --> 00:59:59,474 So, I guess I'll see you later? 850 01:00:15,532 --> 01:00:17,409 Hey, Kevin. 851 01:00:17,493 --> 01:00:22,498 - You seen Shit-break lately? - Why? What did you do to him? 852 01:00:22,581 --> 01:00:24,666 Me? Nothing. 853 01:00:24,750 --> 01:00:27,044 See, I'm the one whose ass he kicked. 854 01:00:27,127 --> 01:00:30,589 But, I'll tell you one thing, though. 855 01:00:30,672 --> 01:00:33,884 I don't think he's gonna have a problem shitting in school any more. 856 01:00:33,967 --> 01:00:35,969 Slipped a little something into his mochaccino. 857 01:00:39,806 --> 01:00:41,099 Oh, God! 858 01:00:50,526 --> 01:00:52,778 Jesus. 859 01:00:52,861 --> 01:00:55,405 Right this way, sir. 860 01:01:00,869 --> 01:01:02,579 Oh, God. 861 01:01:35,904 --> 01:01:38,073 It's gonna be fun. 862 01:01:38,157 --> 01:01:40,701 It's just gonna be some crappy band and stupid decorations. 863 01:01:40,784 --> 01:01:44,413 You're just saying that because prom's a week away and you don't have a date. 864 01:01:44,496 --> 01:01:46,957 No, I don't want a date. 865 01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:51,503 Finch is goin' stag and so am I. 866 01:01:51,587 --> 01:01:54,840 God, he's like so refined. 867 01:01:54,923 --> 01:01:58,093 You think that older woman thing is true? 868 01:01:58,177 --> 01:02:01,471 Yeah, it's true. It was Stifler's mom. 869 01:02:04,766 --> 01:02:06,852 Joanie, was that you? 870 01:02:06,935 --> 01:02:09,229 - Oh! - Can't hold it. 871 01:02:45,390 --> 01:02:48,352 Kev? I think we've come... 872 01:02:48,435 --> 01:02:52,022 - a really long way since homecoming. - Yeah, we have. 873 01:02:52,105 --> 01:02:54,024 Maybe it's time... 874 01:02:54,107 --> 01:02:58,070 we start to express ourselves in new ways. 875 01:02:58,153 --> 01:03:00,405 - Yeah. - You wanna do it? 876 01:03:00,489 --> 01:03:03,283 - Yeah. - I love you. 877 01:03:04,993 --> 01:03:07,621 It's your turn. 878 01:03:08,664 --> 01:03:11,083 That's not what I was thinking. 879 01:03:11,166 --> 01:03:15,254 Sex. It's always about sex. 880 01:03:15,337 --> 01:03:18,423 It's not always about sex. 881 01:03:18,507 --> 01:03:21,552 I just thought it was about sex this time. 882 01:03:24,930 --> 01:03:29,268 Look, Vicky, love is a term that gets thrown around... 883 01:03:29,351 --> 01:03:31,270 and people don't mean it. 884 01:03:31,353 --> 01:03:34,565 When I say it, I want it to be more than words. 885 01:03:34,648 --> 01:03:37,359 - I want it to be... - Perfect. 886 01:03:39,486 --> 01:03:41,405 Exactly. 887 01:03:41,780 --> 01:03:44,324 - Okay, Albert. You ready? - No problemo. 888 01:03:45,659 --> 01:03:49,454 I close my eyes at night 889 01:03:49,538 --> 01:03:51,874 Come on, Heather. Work with me here. 890 01:03:57,379 --> 01:04:00,132 Goal, Ostreicher! 891 01:04:00,215 --> 01:04:03,927 - All right, Oz! - Atta boy, Ozzie! 892 01:04:04,011 --> 01:04:05,929 Whoo! Yeah, baby! 893 01:04:06,013 --> 01:04:08,640 - We're crushing you losers! - Let's go, fellas! 894 01:04:08,724 --> 01:04:10,726 Come on! Whoo-hoo! 895 01:04:12,561 --> 01:04:16,982 Bumblebee, bumblebee bumblebee, bumblebee, bumblebee 896 01:04:17,065 --> 01:04:19,109 Focus on the music. Think melody. 897 01:04:19,193 --> 01:04:22,279 - Let the music be my guide. - That would be a start. 898 01:04:33,165 --> 01:04:34,958 Who's the man? Stifler! 899 01:04:38,253 --> 01:04:40,380 Huddle up, guys! Huddle up! 900 01:04:48,430 --> 01:04:51,850 Huddle up! Come on! Okay. 901 01:04:51,934 --> 01:04:53,852 All right, all right! 902 01:04:53,936 --> 01:04:56,146 - Good hustle, guys. - Good hustle. 903 01:04:56,230 --> 01:05:01,193 But you can still lose. You all saw what happened to Oz out there. 904 01:05:01,276 --> 01:05:06,490 I don't want to ever see any of you thinking you're gonna score. 905 01:05:06,573 --> 01:05:09,743 You don't score until you score. 906 01:05:09,827 --> 01:05:12,329 - Until you score. - That's right, baby! 907 01:05:12,412 --> 01:05:14,706 It all boils down to today. 908 01:05:14,790 --> 01:05:18,627 For you seniors, this marks the culmination... 909 01:05:18,710 --> 01:05:21,713 - of the past four years. - Culmination. 910 01:05:21,797 --> 01:05:26,426 I want you to think about what this means to you. 911 01:05:26,510 --> 01:05:29,638 Do you guys wanna look back on your days at East... 912 01:05:29,721 --> 01:05:33,392 and know that you used the time you had? 913 01:05:33,475 --> 01:05:36,145 - Hell, yeah! - You do! 914 01:05:38,063 --> 01:05:41,400 - Good attitude, Ostreicher. - Good luck, fellas. 915 01:05:42,568 --> 01:05:44,987 Christ, I didn't tell ya to leave the game. 916 01:05:45,070 --> 01:05:47,030 I'm sorry, Coach. 917 01:05:47,114 --> 01:05:50,075 You got someplace more important to be, Ostreicher? 918 01:05:55,622 --> 01:05:59,168 Oz? Fuckface? 919 01:06:27,196 --> 01:06:29,781 - Hey, Oz! - Ozmeister! 920 01:06:29,865 --> 01:06:31,783 - Oh, great. - What about the game? 921 01:06:31,867 --> 01:06:34,953 - I'm not playing. - You're missing the game for us? 922 01:06:35,037 --> 01:06:38,248 No, I'm missing the game for you. 923 01:06:41,668 --> 01:06:43,795 Does this mean I'm not gonna get to do the duet? 924 01:06:43,879 --> 01:06:45,380 Albert, you suck. 925 01:06:50,552 --> 01:06:52,471 I don't think he's comin' back. 926 01:06:52,554 --> 01:06:54,723 Close my eyes at night 927 01:06:54,807 --> 01:06:56,350 Close my eyes 928 01:06:56,433 --> 01:07:00,604 Wonderin' where would I be without you in my life 929 01:07:00,687 --> 01:07:04,316 Everything I did was just a bore 930 01:07:04,399 --> 01:07:08,487 Everywhere I went seems I been there before 931 01:07:08,570 --> 01:07:12,825 But you brighten up for me all of my days 932 01:07:12,908 --> 01:07:16,161 - With a love so sweet - In so many ways 933 01:07:16,245 --> 01:07:18,455 I just wanna stop 934 01:07:18,539 --> 01:07:23,126 - And thank you, baby - I just wanna stop 935 01:07:23,210 --> 01:07:26,463 - Thank you, baby - Thank you, baby 936 01:07:26,547 --> 01:07:31,176 How sweet it is to be loved by you 937 01:07:34,346 --> 01:07:36,682 Yeah, Oz! You fuckin' rule! 938 01:07:36,765 --> 01:07:39,393 - Fuckin' rule! - Yeah! 939 01:07:42,020 --> 01:07:44,231 Maybe the words aren't that important. 940 01:07:44,314 --> 01:07:46,525 It's like, I know he really cares about me. 941 01:07:46,608 --> 01:07:48,694 Even if he can't say it, he does. 942 01:07:48,777 --> 01:07:52,698 And yeah, he always talks about sex, but that's okay, 'cause he's a guy. 943 01:07:52,781 --> 01:07:55,367 - He's got a dick. He's a guy. - Right. 944 01:07:55,450 --> 01:07:57,369 Wait. Is this translation right? 945 01:07:57,452 --> 01:08:00,414 "Go home, bird teacher. I've had enough. " 946 01:08:00,497 --> 01:08:03,458 I don't know. I got it from Kevin. 947 01:08:03,542 --> 01:08:07,087 - So, does it hurt? - What? 948 01:08:07,171 --> 01:08:09,882 You know... sex. Does it hurt? 949 01:08:09,965 --> 01:08:14,344 Yeah. I mean, the first time you do it, you know, it hurts. 950 01:08:14,428 --> 01:08:18,557 But then you, you do it again and again and again... 951 01:08:18,640 --> 01:08:21,894 It just starts to feel good. Really good. 952 01:08:21,977 --> 01:08:24,980 Okay, so say I don't do it. 953 01:08:25,063 --> 01:08:29,818 And then I go off to college. I might end up doing it with some random guy... 954 01:08:29,902 --> 01:08:33,614 - who totally turns out to be a jerk. - This is true. 955 01:08:33,697 --> 01:08:36,408 And I'll wish I would've done it with Kevin. 956 01:08:36,492 --> 01:08:38,744 So go do it with Kevin. 957 01:08:38,827 --> 01:08:41,872 - You think? - Yeah. You're... You're ready. 958 01:08:41,955 --> 01:08:45,584 You're woman. Look at you. You're ready for sex. 959 01:08:45,667 --> 01:08:46,877 - You're right. - I know. 960 01:08:46,960 --> 01:08:48,962 I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna have sex. 961 01:08:49,046 --> 01:08:51,423 And it's gonna be right, and it's gonna be just perfect. 962 01:08:51,507 --> 01:08:53,759 - Perfect sex. - Thanks, Jessica. 963 01:08:54,092 --> 01:08:56,220 Please. 964 01:09:02,851 --> 01:09:06,230 - I wanna have sex. - Now? 965 01:09:11,527 --> 01:09:13,570 Prom. 966 01:09:55,195 --> 01:09:57,656 You must be excited about the big night tonight. 967 01:09:57,739 --> 01:09:59,867 Thrilled. 968 01:10:01,160 --> 01:10:02,995 Who's the lucky girl? 969 01:10:03,078 --> 01:10:04,997 Michele. 970 01:10:05,080 --> 01:10:08,167 - Michele. - Yeah. 971 01:10:08,250 --> 01:10:12,421 - She must be very special. - Oh, she's special, all right. 972 01:10:12,504 --> 01:10:15,507 I'm sure she is special if you picked her out of the whole bunch. 973 01:10:19,344 --> 01:10:22,973 Jim, I'm just gonna say one thing before you leave tonight. 974 01:10:24,600 --> 01:10:28,854 I want you to be very, very careful... 975 01:10:28,937 --> 01:10:31,565 when you're putting on... 976 01:10:31,648 --> 01:10:34,276 the corsage. 977 01:10:38,280 --> 01:10:39,948 - Okay, Dad. - Promise me. 978 01:10:40,032 --> 01:10:41,783 I promise. 979 01:11:02,721 --> 01:11:06,058 Midnight at the oasis 980 01:11:07,267 --> 01:11:10,437 Send your camel to bed 981 01:11:12,648 --> 01:11:16,527 Shadows painting our faces 982 01:11:16,610 --> 01:11:18,946 Traces 983 01:11:19,029 --> 01:11:22,908 Of romance in our heads 984 01:11:22,991 --> 01:11:26,328 Heaven's holding a half-moon 985 01:11:28,163 --> 01:11:31,124 Shining just for us 986 01:11:33,210 --> 01:11:37,172 Let's slip off to a sand dune 987 01:11:37,256 --> 01:11:39,424 Real soon 988 01:11:39,508 --> 01:11:42,427 And kick up a little dust 989 01:11:42,511 --> 01:11:47,474 Come on Cactus is our friend 990 01:11:47,558 --> 01:11:51,895 He'll point out the way 991 01:11:51,979 --> 01:11:54,648 You know, at band camp we have dances like this... 992 01:11:54,731 --> 01:11:56,942 only they're way funner. 993 01:11:58,026 --> 01:12:01,446 Till the evenin'ends 994 01:12:11,540 --> 01:12:14,793 All right, status check. Where do you guys stand? 995 01:12:14,877 --> 01:12:18,672 Finch, we know where you are, but can't really use that as an excuse. 996 01:12:20,757 --> 01:12:23,552 My date's a flute-toting band dork. Does that answer your question? 997 01:12:25,095 --> 01:12:28,515 Oz, is this vocal-jazz shit gonna pay off or what? 998 01:12:28,599 --> 01:12:31,351 Kevin, what's with the attitude? 999 01:12:31,435 --> 01:12:34,354 Attitude? Me? 1000 01:12:34,438 --> 01:12:37,107 I think you guys should be a little more enthusiastic. 1001 01:12:37,191 --> 01:12:39,651 This is the night we've been waiting for. 1002 01:12:39,735 --> 01:12:41,820 We're in this together. You guys can't back out. 1003 01:12:41,904 --> 01:12:45,574 Kev, you don't need us to get laid. Are you afraid or something? 1004 01:12:45,657 --> 01:12:49,077 No. Come on. We made a pact. 1005 01:12:49,161 --> 01:12:52,581 You can't break that. You guys are gonna have to... 1006 01:12:52,664 --> 01:12:56,502 Have to what, Kev, huh? I don't have to do shit. 1007 01:12:56,585 --> 01:12:59,963 Forget it already. I am so sick and tired of all this bullshit pressure. 1008 01:13:00,047 --> 01:13:04,801 I've never even had sex, and already, I can't stand it. I hate sex! 1009 01:13:04,885 --> 01:13:07,846 And I'm not gonna stand around here busting my balls over something that... 1010 01:13:07,930 --> 01:13:10,265 quite frankly, isn't that damn important. 1011 01:13:10,349 --> 01:13:12,434 I'm gonna go hang out with that geek over there... 1012 01:13:12,518 --> 01:13:16,522 'cause at least she has something else to talk about besides sex. 1013 01:13:16,605 --> 01:13:17,648 Goddam. 1014 01:13:22,444 --> 01:13:25,823 You know, at least I learned how to shit in school, buddy. 1015 01:13:25,906 --> 01:13:27,866 Hey, Finch. 1016 01:13:27,950 --> 01:13:30,661 - Wanna dance? - Yeah. 1017 01:13:36,041 --> 01:13:39,461 - How come you have no date? - I like to keep my options open. 1018 01:13:39,545 --> 01:13:41,463 I got something for you. 1019 01:13:43,382 --> 01:13:45,843 Consider it a consolation prize. 1020 01:13:48,971 --> 01:13:51,890 Jessica, this is great! Wow! 1021 01:13:51,974 --> 01:13:53,809 Felt sorta guilty about taking your money. 1022 01:13:53,892 --> 01:13:56,270 You spent $200 on this? 1023 01:13:56,353 --> 01:13:59,606 No, I spent 50 on the flask, 150 on the earrings. 1024 01:14:01,733 --> 01:14:03,652 - These are... - Let me just clarify... 1025 01:14:03,735 --> 01:14:06,405 that you have no chance of scoring with me, Finch. 1026 01:14:06,488 --> 01:14:08,157 Of course not! 1027 01:14:08,240 --> 01:14:10,826 So I take it you and Sherman are pretty close, huh? 1028 01:14:10,909 --> 01:14:12,911 You met at that party a while back, right? 1029 01:14:12,995 --> 01:14:14,913 Yeah, we were up all night together. 1030 01:14:14,997 --> 01:14:18,083 We had one of those amazingly deep conversations... 1031 01:14:18,167 --> 01:14:21,128 where you feel like you really get to know someone. 1032 01:14:22,379 --> 01:14:24,506 Deep conversation, huh? 1033 01:14:24,590 --> 01:14:26,175 Is that what you call it? 1034 01:14:26,884 --> 01:14:28,844 What else would I call it? 1035 01:14:35,684 --> 01:14:37,603 Thank you, Great Falls. 1036 01:14:37,686 --> 01:14:40,689 We're gonna take a little break. You are beautiful. 1037 01:14:45,027 --> 01:14:46,987 You suck! 1038 01:14:49,865 --> 01:14:52,451 Excuse me, everyone. 1039 01:14:52,534 --> 01:14:57,122 Sorry to interrupt. I just thought you all should know this. 1040 01:14:57,206 --> 01:14:59,875 Chuck Sherman is a liar. 1041 01:14:59,958 --> 01:15:02,252 I never had sex with him. 1042 01:15:02,336 --> 01:15:06,715 He's never had sex with anyone. I know this because he told me. 1043 01:15:06,798 --> 01:15:10,636 Once he tried to screw a grapefruit, but that's all. 1044 01:15:10,719 --> 01:15:14,056 He also told me that when he gets nervous, he sometimes wets his pants. 1045 01:15:14,139 --> 01:15:17,100 Thank you for your time. 1046 01:15:30,906 --> 01:15:34,159 - Guess what? - Not interested. 1047 01:15:34,243 --> 01:15:38,497 Kevin. Come on, man. The bus to Stifler's is gonna be here soon. 1048 01:15:38,580 --> 01:15:40,541 - I'm not going. - What? 1049 01:15:40,624 --> 01:15:42,334 Why not? 1050 01:15:44,253 --> 01:15:49,007 Look, things didn't really turn out how I wanted them to. 1051 01:15:49,091 --> 01:15:51,426 I mean, I don't even know what I'm doin'. 1052 01:15:51,510 --> 01:15:54,888 I'm acting like I've got everything together tonight. 1053 01:15:54,972 --> 01:15:58,684 I know that Vicky's gonna ask me if I love her, and... 1054 01:15:58,767 --> 01:16:00,686 I don't know what I'm gonna say. 1055 01:16:00,769 --> 01:16:02,688 I mean, I'm on the brink. 1056 01:16:02,771 --> 01:16:06,358 I'm just about to do it. I should be psyched. 1057 01:16:06,441 --> 01:16:10,529 I don't know. Maybe you're right. Maybe I am just scared. 1058 01:16:10,612 --> 01:16:14,700 Come on, Kev. Tonight is the night. 1059 01:16:14,783 --> 01:16:17,870 We are finally going to a post-prom party on the lake. 1060 01:16:17,953 --> 01:16:20,289 We have been waiting for this for four years. 1061 01:16:20,372 --> 01:16:23,458 Why else have we been friends with Stifler all this time, right? 1062 01:16:24,459 --> 01:16:26,170 We were friends with Stifler? 1063 01:16:26,920 --> 01:16:29,047 Hey, look. 1064 01:16:30,257 --> 01:16:32,968 Sherman didn't even get laid. 1065 01:16:33,051 --> 01:16:35,762 - He didn't? - No, he pissed himself. 1066 01:16:37,055 --> 01:16:38,098 What? 1067 01:16:39,683 --> 01:16:41,643 We'll tell you on the bus. 1068 01:16:41,727 --> 01:16:44,897 I'm gonna go inside and grab my bag. 1069 01:16:44,980 --> 01:16:47,483 My date too, perhaps? 1070 01:16:49,151 --> 01:16:51,320 Stifler's mom got it in the divorce. 1071 01:16:51,403 --> 01:16:53,322 That reminds me of this one time... 1072 01:16:53,405 --> 01:16:56,325 Hey, can I ask you a question? 1073 01:16:56,408 --> 01:16:59,077 How come you don't have any stories? I've got lots of them... 1074 01:16:59,161 --> 01:17:01,330 and you don't have any. 1075 01:17:01,413 --> 01:17:04,583 Oh, I've got stories. Believe me. They're just... 1076 01:17:04,666 --> 01:17:07,419 They're just a little more risque than tales of band camp. 1077 01:17:07,503 --> 01:17:12,090 Are they gross or something? Like guy stuff? Tell me! 1078 01:17:12,174 --> 01:17:14,092 Okay. You want a story? 1079 01:17:14,176 --> 01:17:16,637 Here's a story. Stifler finds this beer... 1080 01:17:19,932 --> 01:17:22,392 This is the nicest room in the house. 1081 01:17:22,476 --> 01:17:24,228 Kev, it's perfect. 1082 01:17:36,698 --> 01:17:38,700 You guys are gonna fuck, aren't ya? 1083 01:17:38,784 --> 01:17:41,370 Fuckers! Fuckers, fuckers! 1084 01:17:41,453 --> 01:17:43,705 Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers! 1085 01:17:45,123 --> 01:17:47,709 - Out. - Come on! 1086 01:17:47,793 --> 01:17:50,212 - Get out. - Man! 1087 01:18:08,272 --> 01:18:10,315 There's something I've been meaning to tell you, Heather. 1088 01:18:10,399 --> 01:18:12,693 What's that? 1089 01:18:12,776 --> 01:18:15,070 It's gonna sound really bad, but... 1090 01:18:15,154 --> 01:18:17,781 I want you to know. 1091 01:18:17,865 --> 01:18:20,534 You see... 1092 01:18:20,617 --> 01:18:24,872 I'm a virgin, and... 1093 01:18:24,955 --> 01:18:27,624 Well, me, Kevin, Jim and Finch were... 1094 01:18:27,708 --> 01:18:30,419 We all made this pact... 1095 01:18:30,502 --> 01:18:33,338 that we would lose our virginity... 1096 01:18:33,422 --> 01:18:35,465 before high school was over... 1097 01:18:35,549 --> 01:18:38,594 and tonight is supposed to be the night that we all do it. 1098 01:18:40,596 --> 01:18:42,681 This isn't the best way to proposition me. 1099 01:18:42,764 --> 01:18:45,559 No, that's not what I mean. 1100 01:18:45,642 --> 01:18:48,854 What I mean is... 1101 01:18:48,937 --> 01:18:51,690 Look, do you know what made me leave that game? 1102 01:18:51,773 --> 01:18:55,777 See, Coach, he was givin' us this speech about... 1103 01:18:55,861 --> 01:18:58,530 not slacking off when you see the opportunity to score... 1104 01:18:58,614 --> 01:19:00,699 This isn't any better, Chris. 1105 01:19:00,782 --> 01:19:02,868 No, you see... You see, Heather... 1106 01:19:02,951 --> 01:19:05,370 what I realized is that... 1107 01:19:05,454 --> 01:19:10,334 with you, it's not like I'm running towards a goal... 1108 01:19:10,417 --> 01:19:13,712 looking for the best way to score. 1109 01:19:13,795 --> 01:19:17,299 This may sound a little corny, but... 1110 01:19:17,382 --> 01:19:19,635 I feel like I've already won. 1111 01:19:22,137 --> 01:19:26,558 And I care about you a lot. 1112 01:19:27,768 --> 01:19:30,062 Oz, I know. 1113 01:19:31,271 --> 01:19:34,566 - You called me Oz. - Well, yeah. 1114 01:19:34,650 --> 01:19:36,568 It's what your friends call you. 1115 01:19:36,652 --> 01:19:39,696 I mean, I feel like I'm one of your friends now. 1116 01:19:39,780 --> 01:19:43,534 And your girlfriend? 1117 01:20:18,193 --> 01:20:19,236 Are ya lost? 1118 01:20:23,782 --> 01:20:26,618 You're Stifler's mom. 1119 01:20:26,702 --> 01:20:29,454 No, no, not lost. Just, um... 1120 01:20:29,538 --> 01:20:31,456 you know, taking the tour. 1121 01:20:33,959 --> 01:20:38,213 Hey, thank you for letting us have this wonderful party. 1122 01:20:38,297 --> 01:20:40,716 As if there was an alternative in the matter. 1123 01:20:45,721 --> 01:20:48,098 So, you enjoying yourself? 1124 01:20:48,182 --> 01:20:51,643 I'm three sheets to the wind, ma'am. 1125 01:20:51,727 --> 01:20:54,062 I'm so happy for you. 1126 01:20:54,146 --> 01:20:56,064 But it takes the edge off, doesn't it? 1127 01:20:58,066 --> 01:21:01,320 - Where's your little date tonight? - No date. It was... 1128 01:21:01,403 --> 01:21:03,822 It was a bathroom incident. 1129 01:21:03,906 --> 01:21:08,494 - Pardon me? - Never mind. 1130 01:21:12,247 --> 01:21:14,666 You have anything to drink? 1131 01:21:14,750 --> 01:21:16,668 I believe the kegs are upstairs. 1132 01:21:17,961 --> 01:21:20,506 That is what the cretins drink. 1133 01:21:20,589 --> 01:21:22,674 I'm talking about alcohol, liquor. 1134 01:21:22,758 --> 01:21:25,719 - The good stuff. - All right. 1135 01:21:27,346 --> 01:21:29,264 I got some scotch. 1136 01:21:30,349 --> 01:21:33,936 - Single malt? - Aged 18 years. 1137 01:21:34,019 --> 01:21:35,103 The way I like it. 1138 01:21:39,733 --> 01:21:41,944 Why don't you go grab a glass from the bar? 1139 01:21:44,363 --> 01:21:47,032 I think I should. 1140 01:21:47,115 --> 01:21:49,076 Allow me. 1141 01:21:50,702 --> 01:21:52,621 You know it's a bitchin' party. 1142 01:21:52,704 --> 01:21:55,207 The Stif-man always comes through in the clutch. 1143 01:21:59,545 --> 01:22:02,172 And then he just puked his brains out. 1144 01:22:02,256 --> 01:22:05,134 - That is a nasty story. - Yep, I told you. 1145 01:22:05,217 --> 01:22:07,386 Do you want to hear a nasty story of mine? 1146 01:22:07,469 --> 01:22:09,513 It's sort of sexual. 1147 01:22:11,473 --> 01:22:14,017 Yeah! Yeah, let's hear it. 1148 01:22:14,101 --> 01:22:18,897 Okay, well, this one time at band camp, we were playing this game. 1149 01:22:18,981 --> 01:22:22,609 I don't know if you know it, but it's called "Spin the Bottle. " 1150 01:22:22,693 --> 01:22:26,572 And I had to kiss this guy named Mark Wander on the lips. 1151 01:22:26,655 --> 01:22:28,574 And he plays trombone... 1152 01:22:28,657 --> 01:22:31,076 So how do you want to be? 1153 01:22:31,160 --> 01:22:34,121 Like, how do you want to do it? 1154 01:22:35,372 --> 01:22:38,041 I don't know. How do you? 1155 01:22:38,125 --> 01:22:42,880 Like normal style. The missionary position. 1156 01:22:52,806 --> 01:22:54,933 Kev? 1157 01:22:55,017 --> 01:22:57,311 - Yeah? - I wanna hear you say it. 1158 01:23:02,691 --> 01:23:04,943 Victoria... 1159 01:23:05,027 --> 01:23:06,987 I love you. 1160 01:23:08,739 --> 01:23:11,450 I love you. 1161 01:23:37,726 --> 01:23:39,937 Oh my. Here. 1162 01:23:46,985 --> 01:23:49,404 You okay? 1163 01:23:49,488 --> 01:23:53,408 Yeah. Go slow. 1164 01:24:16,098 --> 01:24:19,017 So the end of the story is you... 1165 01:24:19,101 --> 01:24:21,186 had to kiss the guy for 20 seconds. 1166 01:24:21,270 --> 01:24:25,232 Yes! And he was such a dork. Everyone laughed at me... 1167 01:24:25,315 --> 01:24:28,152 but I didn't care because it was so funny. 1168 01:24:28,235 --> 01:24:29,444 I get it. 1169 01:24:29,528 --> 01:24:33,282 And this one time at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy. 1170 01:24:36,660 --> 01:24:37,703 Excuse me? 1171 01:24:37,786 --> 01:24:40,497 What? You don't think I know how to get myself off? 1172 01:24:40,581 --> 01:24:44,001 Hell, that's what half of band camp is... Sex Ed. 1173 01:24:44,084 --> 01:24:47,212 So are we gonna screw soon, 'cause I'm gettin' kinda antsy. 1174 01:24:56,305 --> 01:24:58,515 This'll do. Whoo-hoo! 1175 01:25:04,521 --> 01:25:08,942 Now, I have two rubbers. Wear them both. It'll desensitize you. 1176 01:25:09,026 --> 01:25:11,528 I don't want you coming so damn early this time. 1177 01:25:13,780 --> 01:25:16,074 What makes you think that I would come early? 1178 01:25:16,158 --> 01:25:20,245 Come on. I saw you on the 'Net. Why do you think I accepted this date? 1179 01:25:20,329 --> 01:25:21,788 You're a sure thing. 1180 01:25:25,125 --> 01:25:27,920 Yes, I am. 1181 01:25:28,420 --> 01:25:32,716 So I said, "This is very obviously a Piero della Francesca. " 1182 01:25:40,015 --> 01:25:45,771 So, would you object if I said that you were quite striking? 1183 01:25:46,438 --> 01:25:50,692 Mr Finch, are you trying to seduce me? 1184 01:25:50,943 --> 01:25:52,945 Yes, ma'am, I am. 1185 01:26:05,374 --> 01:26:09,086 Mmm, you're dead. 1186 01:26:47,541 --> 01:26:50,043 - I had no idea you'd be this good. - Neither did I. 1187 01:26:50,127 --> 01:26:51,753 Oh, Finchy. Finch. 1188 01:26:52,254 --> 01:26:54,256 - Oh, Stifler's mom! - Finchy! 1189 01:27:03,390 --> 01:27:04,433 Okay, let's go. 1190 01:27:04,516 --> 01:27:06,935 What's my name? Say my name, bitch! 1191 01:27:07,019 --> 01:27:09,188 Michele, Michele. 1192 01:27:10,772 --> 01:27:12,733 Oh, God. 1193 01:27:40,427 --> 01:27:42,346 That was a great night, huh? 1194 01:27:48,685 --> 01:27:51,730 I mean, I just can't believe we had our senior prom. 1195 01:27:51,814 --> 01:27:55,692 I know. It went by so fast. 1196 01:27:55,776 --> 01:27:58,403 Yeah, it did. 1197 01:28:05,160 --> 01:28:07,621 Next year with you going to Ann Arbor... 1198 01:28:07,704 --> 01:28:10,833 and me going to Ithaca... 1199 01:28:10,916 --> 01:28:14,044 it's not gonna work, is it? 1200 01:28:14,127 --> 01:28:16,129 No. Don't say that. 1201 01:28:16,213 --> 01:28:18,715 I mean, we could make it work. 1202 01:28:20,050 --> 01:28:22,678 - It'll be perfect. - No, Kevin. 1203 01:28:24,429 --> 01:28:25,389 But... 1204 01:28:25,472 --> 01:28:29,685 That's what I've been realizing, is that nothing's perfect. 1205 01:28:29,768 --> 01:28:32,729 And you can't plan everything. 1206 01:28:34,356 --> 01:28:38,110 Well, I guess you will be pretty far away. 1207 01:28:39,403 --> 01:28:42,447 And we'll be on our own, meeting new people. 1208 01:28:46,660 --> 01:28:48,620 Last night, though. 1209 01:28:52,332 --> 01:28:53,667 I wasn't lying. 1210 01:28:56,712 --> 01:28:58,630 I know. 1211 01:29:14,271 --> 01:29:17,733 She's gone. Wha... 1212 01:29:17,816 --> 01:29:19,860 Oh, my God. She used me. 1213 01:29:19,943 --> 01:29:21,904 I was used. 1214 01:29:23,864 --> 01:29:27,242 I was used. Cool! 1215 01:29:29,620 --> 01:29:31,538 What's this door locked... 1216 01:29:31,622 --> 01:29:33,582 Mom, where's... 1217 01:29:35,083 --> 01:29:39,338 - Mom? Shit-break? - Hey, Stifler. 1218 01:29:45,010 --> 01:29:48,430 I just gotta say that women... 1219 01:29:48,514 --> 01:29:51,099 like a fine wine, only get better with age. 1220 01:29:52,768 --> 01:29:55,854 Of course, I have no basis for comparison, but... 1221 01:29:55,938 --> 01:29:57,856 it was good. 1222 01:29:57,940 --> 01:30:00,359 So you almost made it, huh, Oz? 1223 01:30:00,442 --> 01:30:02,402 I'll just say that we had a great night together. 1224 01:30:02,486 --> 01:30:05,614 Hang in there, buddy. You'll get there. 1225 01:30:05,697 --> 01:30:09,159 You know, guys, I think we're falling in love. 1226 01:30:13,121 --> 01:30:15,666 That's great, man. That's awesome. 1227 01:30:16,959 --> 01:30:19,711 You know what the coolest thing is, guys? 1228 01:30:19,795 --> 01:30:21,880 This. You know, right now. 1229 01:30:21,964 --> 01:30:25,717 It's true. I mean, after this, everything's gonna be different. 1230 01:30:25,801 --> 01:30:27,928 After getting laid? 1231 01:30:29,054 --> 01:30:32,015 - After high school. - Here's to the next step. 1232 01:30:32,099 --> 01:30:33,225 To the next step. 1233 01:30:33,308 --> 01:30:35,686 - To the next step. - To the next step. 1234 01:31:25,569 --> 01:31:26,528 Sweetheart? 95461

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