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Resync to UNRATED 720p WEB-DL version by OlyOrvabl�
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Nothing is more inspiring
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00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:33,599
than the tale of a sports hero.
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But this story is
about the other guy...
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00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:39,206
The loser.
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00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:39,729
The loser.
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And as you'll see,
even failure has its champion.
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His name?
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Lambeau Fields.
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To me, he's a hero,
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an inspiration and a friend.
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To the rest of the world,
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he's the worst coach
in the history of sports.
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Hey, Bill!
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00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:57,154
Buckner!
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00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:58,384
What?
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00:00:58,492 --> 00:00:59,652
What's a six-letter word
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00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:00,954
for a tropical fruit?
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00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:02,427
Not now.
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00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,395
I'm thinking
it might be "banana"!
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00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:06,056
Zip it. Be quiet.
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00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:07,759
Could be "papaya"!
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Fields, this is the World Series, man-
are you crazy?
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Slow roller down to first.
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It gets through Buckner's legs!
The Mets win!
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00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:15,732
The Mets win!
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00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:17,606
It's "papaya."
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Let's go!
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00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,451
Whoa!
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00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,423
That's on me.
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00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,462
Marco, come here.
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00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:39,431
Go tell Zidane, tell him I said...
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00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:45,670
Go tell him I said that.
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Ta mere est une
vielle... terroriste.
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I don't remember
saying "chain-smoking."
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Being labeled the biggest loser
in the history of mankind
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00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:01,486
finally got
to old Coach Fields,
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00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:03,614
and he hit rock bottom.
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00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:04,952
Coach?
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00:02:05,059 --> 00:02:06,993
Freddie.
Good to see you.
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00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:08,652
My God,
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I hardly recognized you.
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I bought a new hat.
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00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:13,991
Nice.
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00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:16,296
It's good to see you, buddy.
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I got a proposition for you.
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00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:19,439
All right.
Let's walk and talk.
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00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:20,564
I'm late for work.
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Yeah.
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00:02:22,076 --> 00:02:24,704
Hey, Manuel, Javier,
Sanchez, Cornelio, new guy.
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Hola, Coach.
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They ride the horses.
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Coach wasn't exactly coaching anymore.
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His job was to help facilitate
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00:02:34,622 --> 00:02:36,817
the continuation of the noble
Seabiscuit lineage.
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00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:38,949
It was about helping out
Mother Nature.
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To draw forth
the building blocks
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of the champion D.N.A. Which-
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Aw, hell.
He was yanking off horses.
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So, tell me about
this big offer of yours.
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00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,902
There's this small college
in Plainfolk, Texas-
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Heartland State University.
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00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:55,900
It's got a beautiful campus
and awesome athletic program.
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00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:58,001
They need
a new head football coach.
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Me go back to coaching?
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00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,540
Oh. Sorry.
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Okay.
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00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:08,988
Listen, Coach...
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00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:12,183
you and me we've been
through wars together, right?
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And no matter what anybody says,
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I mean, you're one
of the best leaders ever.
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00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:18,564
It's time for you
to get back into coaching.
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00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,099
I appreciate it,
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00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:21,532
but I'm happy here.
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For once in my life,
I'm proud of what I'm doing.
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I said no!
No means no!
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You know what no means.
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00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:34,312
Aah! You just finish yourself.
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Aah!
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00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:37,373
Thanks anyway, buddy.
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00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:40,385
Good to see ya.
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Uh, I shouldn't, 'cause,
you know...
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I got a terrible cold.
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00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:49,462
Coming up on Fox Sports News,
Maria Sharapova battles
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00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,963
the mighty Venus Williams
at the Australian Open.
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Here, Maria!
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- Smile!
- Right here!
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00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:06,607
Coach?
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00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:08,978
There you are.
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00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:13,444
Is something wrong?
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00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:16,546
Freddie Wiseman
came to see me today.
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00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,682
Told me about a coaching job.
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00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,259
College football.
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00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:22,329
But I said no.
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I told him I'm out.
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00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:27,189
Sweetie...
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are you sure?
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00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:30,893
I mean, coaching
is in your blood.
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00:04:31,005 --> 00:04:34,270
Like-like hepatitis C or...
or traces of cocaine.
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00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,476
I don't know, Barb.
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00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,705
It would mean moving again.
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00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:42,281
You know, this house
is perfect for us.
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00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:43,850
Look at this den.
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00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,145
It's already filled
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00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:47,220
with sports memorabilia
and trophies.
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00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:48,583
You know,
it's not too late
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00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,623
for you to get
a trophy of your own.
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00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:53,318
That'd be something, wouldn't it?
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00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,486
Oh, come on.
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00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:58,087
Coaching is
a Fields family tradition
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like cockfighting
or identity theft.
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00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:03,566
That's true.
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00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,803
Maybe I will
give it another shot.
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00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:10,943
Yeah! You can't keep a legend
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in the shadows for long.
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Set!
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00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:16,876
Hut!
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00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,474
Honey...
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00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,589
Honey, honey,
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00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:24,021
honey, um...
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00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:27,582
just promise me that you
won't get so consumed by winning
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that you completely forget
about this family.
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00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,363
What?!
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00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:33,262
Family comes first.
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You know that.
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00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,829
Really?
And how many of Michelle's
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00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:39,462
gymnastics meets
have you been to?
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00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:40,562
Michelle?
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00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:41,834
Your daughter.
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00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,409
Oh, of course, Michelle.
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00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:46,238
What the hell was that?
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Your son.
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00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:48,109
Scruffy!
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00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:49,409
Jeffrey!
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00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:50,983
Well, someone's name is Scruffy.
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00:05:51,085 --> 00:05:53,519
Scruffy was your dog
when you were ten. I...
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00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:55,952
See, honey, this is exactly
what I'm talking about.
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00:06:01,295 --> 00:06:02,853
Hello.
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00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:04,555
Sorry, wrong number.
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00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,133
That was the police.
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00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,863
They're looking for the parents
of a girl named Michelle.
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00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:12,302
What?
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00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:16,035
Don't worry, sweetie.
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00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:18,202
We're gonna get through this.
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00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:21,577
Honey, that's not Michelle.
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00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:27,413
Michelle Fields,
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00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,614
you have been charged
with property damage,
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00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:34,251
robbery, arson,
indecent exposure
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00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:36,955
and being
an insatiable cock tease.
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00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:40,056
That got a lot
of hits on YouTube.
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00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,225
Therefore,
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00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:43,997
I hereby sentence you to rejoin
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00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,868
the USA Gymnastics Team.
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00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:47,941
No!
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00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:49,668
Why would you do this to me?
156
00:06:51,145 --> 00:06:53,079
Hey, Tommy B.
Yeah, Lawdog here.
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00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,546
Listen, I wanna put 50 grand
on the US womens gymnastic team
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00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:57,116
to win the gold in Beijing.
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00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:59,082
Thanks, buddy.
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00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:06,216
Oh, shit.
161
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:07,987
I have my reasons.
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00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:11,425
This is all your fault!
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00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,432
Oh, sweet Jesus.
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00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:17,099
How could this happen?
165
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:21,173
It's okay, Coach,
it's all right.
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00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:22,765
We'll get through this.
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00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:24,400
We're getting a ticket!
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00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:26,274
I knew that was
a loading zone!
169
00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:27,938
So Coach took the job
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00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:30,915
at Heartland State and made
a promise to his family
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00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,076
that he wouldn't forget 'em.
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00:07:32,186 --> 00:07:33,517
- Wait! Wait a second!
- Dad, wait up!
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00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:37,021
- Dad!
- Coach!
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00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:39,592
You take one down
You pass it around
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00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:42,628
They settled in Plainfolk, Texas.
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00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,629
A sleepy little town,
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00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:47,700
so cozy that it didn't even
have a traffic light.
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00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:53,804
No more bottles
of beer on the wall
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00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,204
Coach Fields was
back in the game-
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00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:59,871
but this time, he really had
his work cut out for him.
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00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,414
Welcome to your
first practice, gentlemen.
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00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:06,384
Hope you're ready for the worst
six weeks of your life.
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00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,682
I'm gonna do things
to your bodies
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00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:12,918
that are cruel,
painful and unnatural.
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00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:16,587
I'm gonna ride your ass
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00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:19,825
day and night.
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00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,560
I'm gonna make you bleed
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00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,863
from places that you've
never bled from before.
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00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:26,997
It's gonna hurt bad.
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00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:31,403
It's gonna hurt deep.
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00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:34,378
Then it's gonna start
to feel good.
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00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:38,281
Then it's gonna hurt again.
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00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:44,019
Now, I need to get this team
down to a 32-man roster,
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00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:46,422
which means some of you ladies
are gonna be cut.
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00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:49,087
Starting with you, you
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00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,788
- and you.
- Hey, Coach, we didn't even
197
00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:52,263
get a chance to play yet.
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00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:54,357
If there's one thing
I can spot, it's talent.
199
00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:56,402
Coach, we're the only players
on this team who can play.
200
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,198
Wait, man, how do you
think you get these?
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00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,966
- Huh?
- EBay.
202
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:02,638
Maybe next year, guys.
203
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,404
Thanks for coming out.
204
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,502
All right, let's see if I've got
205
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:09,013
anybody else out here
worth a damn.
206
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:10,879
Randy Randinger!
207
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:12,679
- Here, Coach.
- Where?
208
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:13,912
Right here, sir.
209
00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:16,012
I'm ready to give it my all.
210
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:18,216
I'll do whatever it
takes to make this team.
211
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:20,350
Refill the waters,
get fresh towels...
212
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,223
buff everyone's helmet.
213
00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:25,326
Oh...
214
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:26,626
that helmet.
215
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,860
I thought you were talking
about something else.
216
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,459
Good. We got a towel boy.
217
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:31,538
Next-
218
00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:33,503
Buddy Boy Jones!
219
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:35,598
All right! I got me
220
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,768
a big, mean son of a bitch!
221
00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:41,245
I wouldn't
hurt a fly, Coach.
222
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:42,713
Football is war, son.
223
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,579
You got to be a killer.
224
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:48,384
Ow!
225
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,388
I'm telling on you!
226
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:55,126
Next, ACL Tear!
227
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:59,028
It's pronounced "Aseel," sir.
228
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:00,724
Aseel Tare.
229
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,825
ACL Tear. Got it.
230
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:06,372
It says here you rushed for
a thousand yards last season.
231
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,703
Keep it up,
you could turn pro.
232
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:09,776
Hope so, Coach.
233
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:11,776
Nothing can hold you back.
234
00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:14,278
Except an unforeseen
career-ending injury.
235
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:17,782
What are the odds
of that happening, ACL Tear?
236
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:20,182
It's Aseel, sir. Aseel Tare.
237
00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:23,989
Got it. ACL Tear.
238
00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:26,150
Right there.
239
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,920
Is that a radio I hear?
240
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,222
No, that's just I Pod.
241
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:37,331
Whoa!
242
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,903
God, what a retarded
ass retard.
243
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:43,603
Hey!
244
00:10:43,710 --> 00:10:46,201
I don't ever want
to hear that word again!
245
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,905
You're talking about a person,
246
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:50,108
a human being!
247
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:51,684
Come here, son.
248
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:55,016
He may be a
moronic cretin,
249
00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,680
a drooling mush head,
250
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,690
a short bus-riding,
window-licking
251
00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,282
spaz-ass simpleton,
252
00:11:00,394 --> 00:11:02,919
but he is not a retard.
253
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:04,793
If there's one thing
I do not tolerate,
254
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,525
that's disrespect.
255
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:11,003
Okay, I Pod.
256
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,440
How'd you like
to be my assistant?
257
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,403
Yeah.
258
00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:19,877
Let this be a lesson
for all of you.
259
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:22,608
You judge not,
lest ye be judged.
260
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:25,879
It's time someone
gives this man a chance.
261
00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:27,453
To once and for all
show that-
262
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:30,352
Okay, that's enough.
All right, get him off me.
263
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:31,513
Get him off me.
264
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,394
Here comes Trotter, here comes Trotter.
265
00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:45,971
Here come who?
266
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:48,405
Trotter, Trotter, he's a star.
267
00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:50,635
Touchdown, Trotter, touchdown.
268
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:52,541
What's this all about?
269
00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:54,170
What's it to you, old man?
270
00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:56,146
This "old man"
is your new coach.
271
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:57,807
I want you suited up
272
00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:00,614
in two minutes,
or you're off my squad.
273
00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:03,053
Looks like we
gonna have us a problem, then.
274
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:05,283
You know that, right?
275
00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:08,460
Figurin' out what
to do with the other
276
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:09,654
minute and 99 seconds.
277
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:20,967
Let's get something
straight, Trotter.
278
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:24,271
I don't like the ego,
I don't like the flash,
279
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,311
I don't like that...
my daughter is
280
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,812
coming out of your limo.
281
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:28,972
Damn!
282
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,743
What are you doing in there?
283
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:33,285
Just, um, getting
a ride to school
284
00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:35,286
with my new boyfriend
285
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,618
and... lover.
286
00:12:38,692 --> 00:12:39,920
Oh, please,
287
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:42,153
this is just another one
of your rebellious stunts
288
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,422
trying to make me mad.
289
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,157
It's not a stunt, Dad.
290
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:48,325
It's just me
having a boyfriend...
291
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,835
who happens to be black.
292
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,736
See you later.
293
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,638
Black boyfriend.
294
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:02,010
Damn!
295
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,776
All right!
296
00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:05,977
Any walk-ons?
297
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,515
Hey, Coach.
298
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,318
Name is Vince.
299
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:13,856
I'm just a bartender from Philly
300
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,291
whose only dream
is to play ball.
301
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:17,522
It's all I got left
302
00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:20,293
after I lost my job teaching
and my wife left me.
303
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,062
Like my alcoholic father
used to say before he passed on,
304
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:26,571
"A man can only take
so much failure!"
305
00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:29,767
I promise to give you
everything I got.
306
00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:31,241
What do you say, Coach?
307
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:36,638
I say you can add
"Did not make the football team"
308
00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,547
to your list of woes.
309
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:41,177
Now beat it, buzzkill.
310
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,258
Okay, ladies, show time!
311
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,260
Offense, hit the line!
312
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:51,023
Defense, give 'em hell!
313
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:53,224
Let's see what you boys got!
314
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,028
Not you.
315
00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:59,230
All right!
316
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:04,844
Hike the damn ball!
317
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,841
I suppose we don't have a quarterback.
318
00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:15,349
All right!
319
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,389
Still don't have a quarterback.
320
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,583
Any other positions
we need to fill?
321
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:22,025
We need a kicker.
Can I be kicker, Coach?
322
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:23,425
I'll steam up your wiener
323
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,430
and stick it
between my buns.
324
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,800
Oh.
325
00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,428
That wiener.
326
00:14:32,606 --> 00:14:35,268
Yeah, this is great.
327
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,366
Middle of Bumfuck, Nowhere.
328
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:40,310
How am I gonna find
an all-American quarterback?
329
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:44,076
If you build it, he will come.
330
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:50,050
If you build it, he will
331
00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,488
come...
332
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:53,820
Who will come?
333
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:57,021
Your father. Your dead father.
334
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:58,722
My father's not dead.
335
00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:00,561
I just spoke with him
this morning.
336
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:02,225
You got to be shittin' me.
337
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,235
Is this 314 Bentley Road?
338
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:06,464
No, this is 314 Bentley Drive.
339
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,599
Fucking MapQuest.
I've got to get G.P.S.
340
00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:11,836
Anyway, I know a quarterback.
His name is Lance Truman.
341
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:14,004
You'll find his ass
on the baseball field.
342
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:25,848
Lance Truman?
343
00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:27,085
Yeah.
344
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:28,524
Name's Lambeau Fields.
345
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,357
New football coach
over at Heartland.
346
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:32,158
Word on the street
347
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:33,926
is that you're
a damn good quarterback.
348
00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:36,229
Yeah, my dad wants me
to focus on baseball.
349
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:37,428
Sorry, Coach.
350
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,334
Let me talk to your father.
351
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:42,533
He needs to know that
you're wasting your gift here.
352
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:45,076
All right, listen, could we
just drop the football thing?
353
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:47,442
My dad's made up his mind-
baseball's my future.
354
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,913
Then prove it-
strike me out.
355
00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:50,983
Are you serious?
356
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,312
Your best pitch.
357
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:53,408
You got some wood?
358
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:56,455
No. But I did on the way
over here, though.
359
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:59,525
Sometimes when I'm driving,
I like to prop a cup of coffee
360
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,390
in my lap, and there's just
something about the hot steam
361
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:03,723
against my knuckleballs
362
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,695
that really, you know...
363
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:08,063
just makes old Charlie hustle.
364
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:09,499
Yeah, that kind of wood.
365
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:10,899
- Right.
- Right.
366
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:14,303
- That's it.
- Thought for a second
you were talking about cock.
367
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:00,786
I put everything I had on that.
368
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:03,879
It's time we go talk
to your dad.
369
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:10,427
Got a good feeling
about this year.
370
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,499
By the way, where's
the closest hospital?
371
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,830
Uh... County General. Why?
372
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,163
Oh, no reason.
373
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:20,034
I'm just gonna pop in there,
grab an aspirin.
374
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,608
Got a little headache, I guess.
375
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,108
Oh!
376
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,943
Oh! Ee!
377
00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:32,948
Well, I'm sorry you had to drive
378
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:35,385
all the way out here, Fields.
I could've told you
379
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:38,218
over the phone I wasn't gonna
let my boy play football.
380
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,430
Have you always
drank this much,
381
00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:47,591
Mr. Truman?
382
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:51,363
No. Went for 11 straight years
without a drink.
383
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:52,665
What happened?
384
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,467
Turned 12.
385
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,743
I really wish you'd
reconsider, Mr. Truman.
386
00:17:57,844 --> 00:17:59,937
Your son had a great
season last year.
387
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:01,707
Hell, he might have been great,
388
00:18:01,815 --> 00:18:04,807
if he could learn how to keep
from dropping the dang ball.
389
00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,886
- That's not true, Dad.
- Oh, no?
390
00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:08,647
Then what the hell is this?
391
00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:15,786
That's the Droppie Award
for most fumbles in a season.
392
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:17,692
And what
the hell is this?
393
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:21,028
That's a picture of me
at Camp Fumblewatha.
394
00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:23,864
And what are you eating
in that picture?
395
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:26,461
A Butterfingers.
396
00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:27,733
This conversation is over, Coach.
397
00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:29,172
My boy's not playing for anyone,
398
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,368
'cause I can't stand
the guys at the mill
399
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:35,471
asking me why my boy can't
hold on to the goddamn ball!
400
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:36,640
Dad!
401
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:39,645
I just want
to make you proud, Dad,
402
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,617
so you can hold
your head up high.
403
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,484
Please, Dad?
404
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,188
All right.
405
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,659
But if you give
those men at the mill
406
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:52,356
any reason to laugh at me,
I swear to God...
407
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,727
You work at a mill?
408
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,393
The Sugar Mill-
it's out on Route 39.
409
00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:59,904
I do Cher four nights a week,
Christina Aguilera on Saturday.
410
00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:27,529
Isn't she the best kicker
you've ever seen?
411
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:34,898
Kicker? Oh, hey, look-
they're playing sports.
412
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:37,977
How you doing?
Name's Coach Fields.
413
00:19:38,077 --> 00:19:40,136
- I want you to be my kicker.
- Wow!
414
00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:41,679
I would like that very much.
415
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:43,544
- So you'll join the squad?
- Under one condition:
416
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:45,550
My parents can never know.
417
00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:47,552
They're very traditional,
believe a woman's life
418
00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:50,122
should be spent in service
to her husband, cooking,
419
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:51,918
cleaning, and pleasuring
with the mouth.
420
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:53,754
- Hello. Welcome to the team.
- Hi. Hi.
421
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,350
Oh, my God.
422
00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:58,487
Hey, what's this thing?
423
00:19:58,598 --> 00:19:59,724
Oh, that's for your nose.
424
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,197
You put it on your face.
425
00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:02,529
It's a nose guard.
426
00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:09,369
Well, I thought
it was a really small
427
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:11,943
one of these.
428
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:20,741
Hey.
429
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:21,751
I'm Lance. Lance Truman.
430
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,412
I'm your new quarterback.
431
00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:25,855
Word of advice, quarterback.
432
00:20:25,959 --> 00:20:27,093
You just give me the damn ball,
and you stay out of my way.
433
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:29,027
You just give me the damn ball,
and you stay out of my way.
434
00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:30,390
This my team.
435
00:20:30,496 --> 00:20:31,793
This my turf.
436
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,230
And this...
437
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:36,063
This my...
438
00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:37,761
My Little Pony collection.
439
00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:40,395
Rainbow Dash, first edition.
440
00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:41,803
Still in the box, bitch.
441
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,466
Huddle up! Listen up!
442
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:44,975
Sit down.
443
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:48,977
Been doing
a little bit of research.
444
00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:50,982
Turns out...
445
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:53,882
every single one of you made
the dean's list last semester.
446
00:20:53,987 --> 00:20:55,079
Yeah!
447
00:20:55,188 --> 00:20:59,352
And I got to say, gang...
448
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:02,326
I will not stand
for this bullshit!
449
00:21:03,196 --> 00:21:05,858
Now, if we're gonna be winners,
450
00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:09,765
I'm gonna need
a commitment from you.
451
00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:13,134
So we're all gonna sign
a little contract.
452
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:16,941
Why don't you
pass those out.
453
00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:20,535
I want to start seeing D's...
454
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:22,945
and F's.
455
00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:25,176
I want you to cut class.
456
00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:27,651
I want academic probation.
457
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:32,316
When I walk in that locker room,
I want to smell reefer.
458
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:34,450
I want phone calls
in the middle of the night
459
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,653
to bail you horn dogs
out of jail.
460
00:21:36,763 --> 00:21:38,060
I want felonies,
461
00:21:38,164 --> 00:21:39,995
lawsuits,
462
00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:43,330
sexual harassment allegations.
463
00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:46,462
I want you to start acting like
ballplayers, for Christ sake!
464
00:21:46,572 --> 00:21:48,403
Hey! Hey!
465
00:21:48,508 --> 00:21:52,342
Anybody got a problem, you
better speak up right and now!
466
00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:56,812
You know what I think
of your contract, Coach?
467
00:22:16,736 --> 00:22:18,533
You got a lot of anger, son.
468
00:22:18,638 --> 00:22:21,004
That's 'cause I'm from somewhere
you can't even imagine.
469
00:22:21,107 --> 00:22:22,267
The skreets.
470
00:22:22,375 --> 00:22:24,468
Dude, you grew up
two houses down from me.
471
00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:26,010
We lived in the same cul-de-sac.
472
00:22:26,112 --> 00:22:27,977
Which is a dead-end skreet,
473
00:22:28,081 --> 00:22:30,015
and no hope of ever getting out.
474
00:22:30,116 --> 00:22:32,346
Unless you turn around in
this one guy's driveway, and...
475
00:22:32,452 --> 00:22:34,113
he didn't like that, so...
476
00:22:34,220 --> 00:22:35,949
it became this whole thing.
477
00:22:36,055 --> 00:22:37,716
You don't like my rules...
478
00:22:37,824 --> 00:22:39,724
George Johnson, is it?
479
00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:45,020
- Ooh.
- Uh-oh.
480
00:22:45,131 --> 00:22:47,190
It's pronounced Jorge Juanson,
481
00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:49,768
and no, I don't
like your contract.
482
00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:51,803
And I don't like you,
either, ese.
483
00:22:51,904 --> 00:22:54,270
You want to take
a swing at me, kid?
484
00:22:54,374 --> 00:22:55,739
Then do it.
485
00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:57,901
Punch me.
486
00:22:58,010 --> 00:22:59,409
Go on.
487
00:22:59,512 --> 00:23:01,139
Unless you're afraid.
488
00:23:01,247 --> 00:23:03,545
Ooh! Oh!
489
00:23:10,289 --> 00:23:12,689
That it?
490
00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:14,316
Had enough?
491
00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:17,420
Here's your tooth, Coach.
492
00:23:17,530 --> 00:23:18,622
Thanks.
493
00:23:24,470 --> 00:23:26,461
Well... look who's here.
494
00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:29,063
She looks skinny...
495
00:23:29,175 --> 00:23:30,267
fat.
496
00:23:30,376 --> 00:23:31,502
Her leotard's cute...
497
00:23:31,611 --> 00:23:32,669
yuck.
498
00:23:32,779 --> 00:23:34,474
Yeah. She's pretty...
499
00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:35,808
hot.
500
00:23:37,350 --> 00:23:38,715
I mean...
501
00:23:38,818 --> 00:23:40,979
I would like to smother her.
502
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:42,145
Yeah.
503
00:23:42,255 --> 00:23:43,415
With my breasts.
504
00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:25,921
She never could stick it.
505
00:24:26,032 --> 00:24:28,000
God, she could stick me.
506
00:24:29,101 --> 00:24:30,864
Hi.
507
00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:32,460
I'm Lance.
508
00:24:32,572 --> 00:24:34,938
So, um, what are you, like...
509
00:24:35,041 --> 00:24:36,633
the laundry man?
510
00:24:36,742 --> 00:24:38,334
No, I just joined
the football team.
511
00:24:38,444 --> 00:24:40,435
Me and a few guys from
the team work here
512
00:24:40,546 --> 00:24:42,480
a few hours a week,
make some extra cash.
513
00:24:42,582 --> 00:24:43,640
That's kind of brutal.
514
00:24:43,749 --> 00:24:46,684
Well... it's got its perks.
515
00:24:58,231 --> 00:25:01,632
Anyway, um...
I was wondering,
516
00:25:01,734 --> 00:25:03,964
would you like to
go out sometime?
517
00:25:05,071 --> 00:25:06,163
No.
518
00:25:06,272 --> 00:25:07,796
Why not?
519
00:25:07,907 --> 00:25:09,568
'Cause I'm not
looking for a man.
520
00:25:09,675 --> 00:25:10,801
Huh?
521
00:25:10,910 --> 00:25:12,172
I already have one.
522
00:25:12,278 --> 00:25:14,075
Oh.
523
00:25:19,418 --> 00:25:20,885
What's up, baby?
524
00:25:20,987 --> 00:25:22,852
Let's go get something to eat,
525
00:25:22,955 --> 00:25:24,422
'cause a brother's starvin'.
526
00:25:24,524 --> 00:25:25,616
I already ate.
527
00:25:25,725 --> 00:25:27,124
Don't call me baby.
528
00:25:27,226 --> 00:25:28,989
Makes me feel like an object.
529
00:25:29,095 --> 00:25:30,255
I'm sorry.
530
00:25:30,363 --> 00:25:32,831
He was talking to me.
531
00:25:32,932 --> 00:25:34,490
Come on, baby.
532
00:25:36,135 --> 00:25:38,899
Boy got laundry to do.
533
00:25:44,010 --> 00:25:47,241
Some guys have all the luck.
534
00:25:48,281 --> 00:25:50,545
Oh, yeah.
535
00:25:51,717 --> 00:25:53,617
Hey, gang.
536
00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:55,880
Gather around-
I want to show you something.
537
00:25:57,356 --> 00:25:59,347
This is my old bucket
538
00:25:59,458 --> 00:26:02,256
from my own
college-playing days.
539
00:26:02,361 --> 00:26:04,261
I was a fullback.
540
00:26:04,363 --> 00:26:06,456
Short-yardage specialist
541
00:26:06,566 --> 00:26:08,659
for the Loserville Golden Oafers.
542
00:26:08,768 --> 00:26:10,827
They'd bring me in in
goal line situations mostly,
543
00:26:10,937 --> 00:26:12,734
you know, the Hammerhead
to punch it in.
544
00:26:12,838 --> 00:26:14,829
Yo, how many
touchdowns you score?
545
00:26:14,941 --> 00:26:15,908
Nada, zilch.
546
00:26:16,008 --> 00:26:17,976
Zero, not one.
547
00:26:18,077 --> 00:26:20,409
Boy...
548
00:26:20,513 --> 00:26:23,812
I'd give anything
for one last shot.
549
00:26:23,916 --> 00:26:25,406
Why didn't you score, Coach?
550
00:26:25,518 --> 00:26:27,577
No talent.
551
00:26:27,687 --> 00:26:29,120
In the big picture,
552
00:26:29,221 --> 00:26:31,689
we didn't play as a team.
553
00:26:31,791 --> 00:26:34,817
Now, there's one week
before our first game.
554
00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:38,226
We've got to be one body,
one heartbeat.
555
00:26:38,331 --> 00:26:40,162
Now, who do you play for?
556
00:26:40,266 --> 00:26:41,255
The Comebacks!
557
00:26:41,367 --> 00:26:42,629
Trotter.
558
00:26:42,735 --> 00:26:43,963
Who?
559
00:26:44,070 --> 00:26:45,037
The Comebacks!
560
00:26:45,137 --> 00:26:46,365
Trotter!
561
00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:50,738
Sorry, gang, but we are a team.
562
00:26:50,843 --> 00:26:52,606
If I've got to bust his hump,
563
00:26:52,712 --> 00:26:54,839
I've got to bust
all of your humps.
564
00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:55,936
- Come on, man!
- Complaining's not
565
00:26:56,048 --> 00:26:57,106
gonna make a difference-
566
00:26:57,216 --> 00:26:58,308
it's hump-busting time.
567
00:27:00,152 --> 00:27:03,485
Right! Dig! That's it!
568
00:27:03,589 --> 00:27:05,557
That's my team!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
569
00:27:05,658 --> 00:27:07,717
Ooh! Ow! Ah!
570
00:27:07,827 --> 00:27:09,624
Randinger!
571
00:27:09,729 --> 00:27:12,357
Stop goofing around!
572
00:27:12,465 --> 00:27:14,729
Get up here!
573
00:27:25,745 --> 00:27:27,770
Oh, my God.
574
00:27:29,448 --> 00:27:34,181
Survive on the ice,
you can survive anywhere.
575
00:27:38,624 --> 00:27:39,613
Yeah!
576
00:27:39,725 --> 00:27:42,057
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
577
00:27:43,295 --> 00:27:44,887
Yeah!
578
00:27:44,997 --> 00:27:48,626
If you can dodge a wrench,
579
00:27:48,734 --> 00:27:50,326
you can dodge a tackler.
580
00:27:55,908 --> 00:27:58,206
Same thing goes for a firearm.
581
00:28:04,684 --> 00:28:07,244
Did I dodge it?
582
00:28:07,353 --> 00:28:09,480
Walk it off.
583
00:28:12,858 --> 00:28:14,519
All right, listen up.
584
00:28:16,062 --> 00:28:18,257
No one's going home today
585
00:28:18,364 --> 00:28:21,595
until one of you
can knock me down.
586
00:28:32,745 --> 00:28:34,975
Okay, everybody hit the showers.
587
00:28:35,081 --> 00:28:37,345
- Who do you play for?!
- Comebacks!
588
00:28:37,450 --> 00:28:40,078
Trotter! Trotter!
589
00:28:41,654 --> 00:28:43,178
All right, good!
590
00:28:43,289 --> 00:28:44,950
You're finally a team!
591
00:28:48,794 --> 00:28:50,887
Except for you, Randy-
You'll be riding the pine.
592
00:28:50,996 --> 00:28:54,932
Oh, come on Coach.
I'll give you a rim job.
593
00:28:57,570 --> 00:28:59,561
I work down at the car wash
on the weekends.
594
00:28:59,672 --> 00:29:01,572
I'll have your wheels sparkling
in no time.
595
00:29:01,674 --> 00:29:03,733
Car wash- Right.
596
00:29:03,843 --> 00:29:07,244
Sometimes I think
I might have a dirty mind.
597
00:29:08,948 --> 00:29:11,382
First, highlights
of last night's title-card bout
598
00:29:11,484 --> 00:29:13,315
featuring a courageous
comeback attempt
599
00:29:13,419 --> 00:29:16,013
from the 93-year-old
Rocky Balboa.
600
00:29:38,544 --> 00:29:40,569
Hey, fellas.
601
00:29:42,214 --> 00:29:43,408
Name's Lambeau Fields.
602
00:29:43,516 --> 00:29:46,212
Just thought I'd drop by
and introduce myself.
603
00:29:46,318 --> 00:29:48,377
Oh, we know who you are.
604
00:29:48,487 --> 00:29:51,820
We know all about
you and your contract
605
00:29:51,924 --> 00:29:55,052
and your plans for our team.
606
00:29:57,663 --> 00:29:59,654
We want you
to know something,
607
00:29:59,765 --> 00:30:01,630
Coach.
608
00:30:01,734 --> 00:30:04,532
We think that's terrific! We do!
609
00:30:07,339 --> 00:30:09,239
But if you think
you can try using
610
00:30:09,341 --> 00:30:13,243
unconventional training methods
and crazy game plans...
611
00:30:16,782 --> 00:30:18,841
- We support that 100 percent.
- Yeah, we do.
612
00:30:18,951 --> 00:30:20,179
We do.
613
00:30:23,923 --> 00:30:26,653
But if you should play
that first game...
614
00:30:26,759 --> 00:30:28,886
and lose...
615
00:30:32,264 --> 00:30:34,494
Aw, heck, there's always
another game after that.
616
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:37,000
- There's so many games in a season!
- They play a lot!
617
00:30:39,772 --> 00:30:41,967
I can't tell you how relieved
that makes me feel, so...
618
00:30:42,074 --> 00:30:44,474
Well, good. But if you should
lose that second game,
619
00:30:44,577 --> 00:30:47,011
we'll tie you to a tree
and pour pig's blood
620
00:30:47,112 --> 00:30:49,876
all over your ass and let
the coyotes have at you.
621
00:30:57,022 --> 00:30:59,013
Good luck on your
first game tomorrow.
622
00:30:59,124 --> 00:31:01,888
- Like some coffee?
- Begging for mercy.
623
00:31:01,994 --> 00:31:03,518
- Oh, drink up now.
- Sure.
624
00:31:03,629 --> 00:31:06,393
- Oh, we brew it fresh here.
- I'd be honored if you held my gun.
625
00:31:06,498 --> 00:31:08,591
- Oh, go ahead and take a try with that.
- Yeah.
626
00:31:08,701 --> 00:31:11,295
- It's real good.
- Careful, it's hot.
627
00:31:11,403 --> 00:31:14,133
Well, I'm just..
628
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:17,698
- Heh, Hey, shooter!
- Use that to stir it.
629
00:31:17,810 --> 00:31:19,209
You can have the whole thing-
630
00:31:19,311 --> 00:31:21,541
Put the weapon down.
Put the weapon down.
631
00:31:21,647 --> 00:31:25,378
And Coach heard
their message loud and clear.
632
00:31:25,484 --> 00:31:28,544
You see this was a town
that loved its football.
633
00:31:28,654 --> 00:31:30,918
A brisk Saturday in autumn
634
00:31:31,023 --> 00:31:32,786
was like a holiday
for these folks.
635
00:31:32,892 --> 00:31:35,417
The whole town
shut down on game day.
636
00:31:35,527 --> 00:31:38,325
Everyone in Heartland,
and I mean everyone,
637
00:31:38,430 --> 00:31:39,897
was at the game.
638
00:31:39,999 --> 00:31:41,762
Here they are,
639
00:31:41,867 --> 00:31:45,303
your Heartland State
University Comebacks!
640
00:31:52,244 --> 00:31:53,973
Hi, honey!
641
00:31:54,079 --> 00:31:55,137
Good luck!
642
00:31:55,247 --> 00:31:57,442
What's going on?
Where is everyone?
643
00:31:57,549 --> 00:31:58,481
They're all two towns over
644
00:31:58,584 --> 00:31:59,710
at the University of Texas game.
645
00:31:59,818 --> 00:32:02,252
Hey, the Longhorns
just scored!
646
00:32:02,354 --> 00:32:05,084
And here comes the visiting team,
647
00:32:05,190 --> 00:32:08,353
the Boner State Trojans!
648
00:32:16,568 --> 00:32:18,627
These Trojans are tough.
649
00:32:18,737 --> 00:32:20,830
They're rock-hard on offense!
650
00:32:20,940 --> 00:32:23,465
They've got a stiff defense!
651
00:32:23,575 --> 00:32:25,736
They'll exploit
any opening they see.
652
00:32:25,844 --> 00:32:30,247
And if they get in a groove,
they can score all night long,
653
00:32:30,349 --> 00:32:32,909
any which way they want.
654
00:32:33,018 --> 00:32:37,182
You can't lay down or they
are really gonna pound us.
655
00:32:37,289 --> 00:32:40,053
- Season ticket holders coming through!
- Right here!
656
00:32:40,159 --> 00:32:41,490
12 years running!
657
00:32:41,593 --> 00:32:43,060
That's right!
658
00:32:43,162 --> 00:32:45,687
47-yard line, bitch!
659
00:33:01,647 --> 00:33:04,047
All right, we can do it.
660
00:33:04,149 --> 00:33:07,983
And the Heartland State University
661
00:33:08,087 --> 00:33:10,146
football season is...
662
00:33:11,924 --> 00:33:15,758
...as bad as it was last year.
663
00:33:23,936 --> 00:33:25,699
Team, hut!
664
00:33:38,050 --> 00:33:40,382
This is so humiliating.
665
00:33:43,722 --> 00:33:45,622
Comebacks rule!
666
00:33:48,961 --> 00:33:53,125
End of the first,
Comebacks trail by 17.
667
00:33:53,232 --> 00:33:55,359
Here comes Trotter.
668
00:33:55,467 --> 00:33:57,367
Here comes Trotter.
669
00:33:59,004 --> 00:34:01,768
You missed the whole first quarter.
Where have you been?
670
00:34:01,874 --> 00:34:05,139
Get off my back, Coach.
I was doing a thing.
671
00:34:05,244 --> 00:34:06,802
Me.
672
00:34:06,912 --> 00:34:10,780
And remember, Dad, he's black.
673
00:34:10,883 --> 00:34:13,784
Black as a Mississippi
August night.
674
00:34:15,020 --> 00:34:16,544
All right, Trotter.
675
00:34:16,655 --> 00:34:18,623
You're on the bench
for the rest of the game.
676
00:34:18,724 --> 00:34:21,056
If you're ever late again,
you're off my squad.
677
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:23,287
Whatever, Coach.
I'm all you got and you know it.
678
00:34:23,395 --> 00:34:25,295
I think you're forgetting
about someone.
679
00:34:25,397 --> 00:34:27,262
The future of this team.
680
00:34:27,366 --> 00:34:30,096
And his name is ACL Tear.
681
00:34:30,202 --> 00:34:33,694
Coach, you know,
I've been thinking,
682
00:34:33,806 --> 00:34:36,036
you might start to jinx me
if you keep calling me,
683
00:34:36,141 --> 00:34:37,802
uh, that name.
684
00:34:37,910 --> 00:34:39,207
Nonsense.
685
00:34:39,311 --> 00:34:41,370
Now, get out there,
ACL, and tear it up.
686
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:42,640
Tear it up good.
687
00:34:42,748 --> 00:34:43,942
All right, Coach.
688
00:34:44,049 --> 00:34:44,845
Go get 'em, Tear.
689
00:34:44,950 --> 00:34:46,076
Let's go, Comebacks-
690
00:34:46,185 --> 00:34:47,948
execution, execution.
691
00:34:50,689 --> 00:34:53,419
Green 80!
692
00:34:53,525 --> 00:34:55,584
Green 80! Set. Hut.
693
00:34:56,995 --> 00:34:59,190
Go.
694
00:34:59,298 --> 00:35:00,925
Go!
695
00:35:02,301 --> 00:35:03,598
Ooh!
696
00:35:24,389 --> 00:35:26,857
Nothing can stop him!
Nothing can stop this kid!
697
00:35:45,043 --> 00:35:47,568
'At a way, ACL Tear-
shake it off.
698
00:35:47,679 --> 00:35:49,874
- Way to take a hit from a bus, dude.
- That's right.
699
00:36:12,337 --> 00:36:15,170
Final score: Trojans 83,
700
00:36:15,274 --> 00:36:17,674
Comebacks 0.
701
00:36:23,916 --> 00:36:25,315
Hold this.
702
00:36:25,417 --> 00:36:28,181
What did I tell you about
dropping the ball?
703
00:36:28,287 --> 00:36:30,187
Dad, I only fumbled
a couple of times.
704
00:36:30,289 --> 00:36:31,483
A couple!
705
00:36:31,590 --> 00:36:33,319
Why don't you tell
Maddonald here just exactly
706
00:36:33,425 --> 00:36:34,824
how many times
you fumbled?
707
00:36:34,927 --> 00:36:35,621
Two.
708
00:36:35,727 --> 00:36:37,752
Two! Two times!
709
00:36:37,863 --> 00:36:39,592
Is that what you call "a couple"?
710
00:36:39,698 --> 00:36:41,757
Actually, Dad, two is a couple.
711
00:36:41,867 --> 00:36:44,028
This conversation is over!
712
00:36:44,136 --> 00:36:47,367
Come on. Loser!
713
00:36:47,472 --> 00:36:49,372
You can kiss my ass.
714
00:36:57,182 --> 00:36:59,707
Coach?
715
00:37:02,688 --> 00:37:05,384
You have been sitting
in here for hours.
716
00:37:05,490 --> 00:37:09,517
I've just got a few more
films to go through.
717
00:37:09,628 --> 00:37:12,426
Can't you watch them tomorrow?
718
00:37:12,531 --> 00:37:14,328
Not if I want my
team to be ready
719
00:37:14,433 --> 00:37:15,923
to play the
Titans next week.
720
00:37:18,770 --> 00:37:20,931
It's starting again, Coach.
721
00:37:21,039 --> 00:37:22,028
Hmm?
722
00:37:22,140 --> 00:37:24,904
You're ignoring me, this family.
723
00:37:25,010 --> 00:37:26,102
I am not.
724
00:37:26,211 --> 00:37:27,508
Oh, please!
725
00:37:27,613 --> 00:37:30,309
You have sat in here night after night,
forgetting about me
726
00:37:30,415 --> 00:37:32,883
and everything
that matters to you.
727
00:37:32,985 --> 00:37:36,113
Ignoring us is-is something
that you've never been able to resist,
728
00:37:36,221 --> 00:37:39,918
like a make-your-own-taco bar
or midget wrestling.
729
00:37:40,025 --> 00:37:41,322
Jesus, Barb.
730
00:37:41,426 --> 00:37:43,758
This is my last shot.
731
00:37:43,862 --> 00:37:45,454
These films matter.
732
00:37:45,564 --> 00:37:48,590
I need them to become
a better coach, to win.
733
00:37:48,700 --> 00:37:50,668
I just don't see how watching
734
00:37:50,769 --> 00:37:53,499
man-on-man porn
makes you a better coach.
735
00:37:53,605 --> 00:37:56,096
Why must everyone
question my method?
736
00:37:56,208 --> 00:37:59,234
Why does it have to be so hard core?
737
00:37:59,344 --> 00:38:02,279
Once again, my method!
738
00:38:02,381 --> 00:38:04,178
Can you knock it off, I Pod?
739
00:38:04,283 --> 00:38:05,545
It's a DVD, for God's sakes.
740
00:38:26,772 --> 00:38:28,535
It's open.
741
00:38:33,045 --> 00:38:34,205
Hey, um...
742
00:38:34,313 --> 00:38:36,008
Hi.
743
00:38:36,114 --> 00:38:37,843
- I was just, um...
- I get it.
744
00:38:37,949 --> 00:38:41,180
Practicing ballet will help
with your footwork in the pocket?
745
00:38:41,286 --> 00:38:42,548
Exactly.
746
00:38:42,654 --> 00:38:45,555
It's the footwork in the pocket.
747
00:38:45,657 --> 00:38:47,318
Um...
748
00:38:47,426 --> 00:38:48,950
Yeah, what's up?
749
00:38:49,061 --> 00:38:50,722
I'm supposed to give you these.
750
00:38:50,829 --> 00:38:52,922
Oh, okay.
751
00:38:53,031 --> 00:38:56,330
The Gridiron Gangbang.
752
00:38:56,435 --> 00:38:58,835
The Bad News Bare Asses.
753
00:38:58,937 --> 00:39:00,495
The Longest Nards.
754
00:39:02,808 --> 00:39:04,776
- His method.
- His method. Yeah.
755
00:39:04,876 --> 00:39:05,877
What's that all about?
756
00:39:05,877 --> 00:39:06,639
What's that all about?
757
00:39:06,745 --> 00:39:09,077
What? Oh, this?
758
00:39:09,181 --> 00:39:10,614
My dad thought
it might help me
759
00:39:10,716 --> 00:39:12,616
hold onto the ball
for next game.
760
00:39:12,718 --> 00:39:15,778
Does it hurt?
761
00:39:15,887 --> 00:39:18,219
I'm kind of used to it.
762
00:39:18,323 --> 00:39:21,690
So he's done this before?
763
00:39:21,793 --> 00:39:24,023
Yeah.
764
00:39:28,767 --> 00:39:30,598
Yeah.
765
00:39:32,204 --> 00:39:34,604
There, that'll keep
you from letting go.
766
00:39:37,075 --> 00:39:41,478
Hey, look out for the tr..
767
00:39:41,580 --> 00:39:44,947
Don't worry about it. They're baby teeth.
You'll grow new ones.
768
00:39:45,050 --> 00:39:47,985
Happy 12th birthday, Lance.
769
00:39:48,086 --> 00:39:50,213
There you go. Drink up.
770
00:39:55,093 --> 00:39:57,527
Let's get out of here.
Let's go to a bar or something.
771
00:40:16,114 --> 00:40:18,605
The thing is, it's all my fault.
772
00:40:18,717 --> 00:40:21,743
I got a great arm,
but I keep dropping the ball.
773
00:40:21,853 --> 00:40:23,684
I always have.
774
00:40:23,789 --> 00:40:25,757
I mean, I don't know how to fix it.
775
00:40:25,857 --> 00:40:28,052
See?
776
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:29,752
You have no idea
what it's like
777
00:40:29,861 --> 00:40:32,125
to have a father whose
entire world is sports.
778
00:40:32,230 --> 00:40:35,290
Oh, you think so?
779
00:40:37,903 --> 00:40:41,600
Mom, go long. Go long.
780
00:40:42,874 --> 00:40:45,638
- Close your eyes
- Right?
781
00:40:45,744 --> 00:40:48,474
Don't want you to see...
782
00:40:48,580 --> 00:40:51,413
That's my girl,
straight A's!
783
00:40:51,516 --> 00:40:52,949
Straight A's!
784
00:40:53,051 --> 00:40:55,315
Let's just say it
785
00:41:00,459 --> 00:41:02,893
- Where are we going?
786
00:41:02,994 --> 00:41:05,428
Illegal use
of the hands.
787
00:41:05,530 --> 00:41:08,499
- Have we gone too far?
- Game over.
788
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:12,036
Have we gone too far?
789
00:41:12,137 --> 00:41:13,900
Wow.
790
00:41:14,005 --> 00:41:15,267
I had no idea.
791
00:41:15,373 --> 00:41:18,035
Have we gone too far?
792
00:41:18,143 --> 00:41:21,476
I thought that I had the
craziest sports dad ever.
793
00:41:21,580 --> 00:41:23,047
Me, too.
794
00:41:23,148 --> 00:41:25,673
Just close your eyes
795
00:41:25,784 --> 00:41:27,251
What a surprise
796
00:41:27,352 --> 00:41:28,614
Till we get there
797
00:41:28,720 --> 00:41:31,814
You won't know where
798
00:41:31,923 --> 00:41:33,254
See you around
799
00:41:33,358 --> 00:41:35,258
I hope I see you around
800
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:36,657
Just close your eyes
801
00:41:36,761 --> 00:41:38,251
The way I always do
802
00:41:38,363 --> 00:41:41,924
It's always a surprise
803
00:41:42,033 --> 00:41:43,500
To be with you
804
00:41:43,602 --> 00:41:46,765
You won't know where...
805
00:41:46,872 --> 00:41:48,362
Wow.
806
00:41:48,473 --> 00:41:51,169
They look just like footballs.
807
00:41:57,449 --> 00:41:58,473
Oh.
808
00:42:05,724 --> 00:42:07,749
Oh.
809
00:42:09,561 --> 00:42:11,290
No, wait.
810
00:42:11,396 --> 00:42:12,761
- I, I can't do this.
- No.
811
00:42:12,864 --> 00:42:13,956
Yeah, it's okay,
I can hold onto them.
812
00:42:14,065 --> 00:42:15,157
- No, really, I...
- No, just give me a chance.
813
00:42:15,267 --> 00:42:16,359
It's all wrong.
814
00:42:16,468 --> 00:42:17,457
I have a boyfriend.
815
00:42:17,569 --> 00:42:19,196
- Yeah, I know.
- So I have to... go.
816
00:42:19,304 --> 00:42:21,295
No! I...
817
00:42:21,406 --> 00:42:24,671
Um, Michelle, I... I need
to tell you something.
818
00:42:24,776 --> 00:42:26,505
Michelle.
819
00:42:36,321 --> 00:42:37,982
Out of my way, fat ass.
820
00:42:38,089 --> 00:42:41,058
You finally decide to block
something and it's my locker?
821
00:42:41,159 --> 00:42:43,059
I was just going to
drop off an invitation
822
00:42:43,161 --> 00:42:45,288
to my birthday party.
823
00:42:45,397 --> 00:42:48,264
FYI, there's going
to be a petting zoo.
824
00:42:49,601 --> 00:42:51,125
Nice.
825
00:42:51,236 --> 00:42:52,999
Score one for Trotter,
826
00:42:53,104 --> 00:42:55,197
which is one more
than he had yesterday.
827
00:42:55,307 --> 00:42:56,740
Ooh...
828
00:42:56,841 --> 00:42:58,832
Look, man, why don't you just
pretend this whole thing
829
00:42:58,944 --> 00:43:00,878
is a football...
and just drop it?
830
00:43:00,979 --> 00:43:03,743
Ooh!
831
00:43:03,848 --> 00:43:06,146
Why don't you act like a barbell
and get benched?
832
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,218
Why don't you pretend this
whole thing is a basket
833
00:43:11,323 --> 00:43:13,120
full of groceries
and get sacked?
834
00:43:15,126 --> 00:43:16,855
Hey, hey!
835
00:43:16,962 --> 00:43:18,896
Why don't you act like my parents,
836
00:43:18,997 --> 00:43:21,864
go upstairs
and have some makeup sex?
837
00:43:21,967 --> 00:43:23,594
- Huh?
- What?
838
00:43:44,322 --> 00:43:46,119
Hey!
839
00:43:47,525 --> 00:43:50,426
Knock it off!
Knock it off!
840
00:43:50,528 --> 00:43:52,359
Yeah.
841
00:43:53,431 --> 00:43:55,331
Now, you listen to me.
842
00:43:55,433 --> 00:43:57,025
This is a team.
843
00:43:57,135 --> 00:43:59,865
And the only way
we're going to win
844
00:43:59,971 --> 00:44:02,235
is when you start
acting like one.
845
00:44:02,340 --> 00:44:05,002
And you can sure as hell bet
that no one is leaving
846
00:44:05,110 --> 00:44:07,772
this locker room
until you understand
847
00:44:07,879 --> 00:44:11,975
what being a team is all about.
848
00:44:17,022 --> 00:44:19,547
Coach is right.
849
00:44:19,658 --> 00:44:22,218
We got to start believing
in each other.
850
00:44:22,327 --> 00:44:24,056
Like brothers.
851
00:44:24,162 --> 00:44:26,562
That's the only way
we're going to win.
852
00:44:26,665 --> 00:44:28,223
Please.
853
00:44:28,333 --> 00:44:31,268
You'll never be my brother.
854
00:44:32,704 --> 00:44:35,867
Si, es la verdad.
855
00:44:35,974 --> 00:44:38,340
We're all too different.
856
00:44:38,443 --> 00:44:41,207
Nothing in this world could
bring this team together.
857
00:44:54,025 --> 00:44:57,517
Just a small-town girl
858
00:44:57,629 --> 00:45:02,225
Living in a lonely world
859
00:45:02,333 --> 00:45:08,397
She took a midnight train
going anywhere
860
00:45:10,475 --> 00:45:14,172
Just a city boy
861
00:45:14,279 --> 00:45:18,909
Born and raised
in South Detroit
862
00:45:19,017 --> 00:45:24,922
He took the midnight train
going anywhere!
863
00:45:26,558 --> 00:45:30,358
A singer in a smoky room
864
00:45:30,462 --> 00:45:34,091
The smell of wine
and cheap perfume
865
00:45:34,199 --> 00:45:36,895
For a smile,
they can share the night
866
00:45:37,001 --> 00:45:41,802
It goes on and on
and on and on
867
00:45:41,906 --> 00:45:46,605
Strangers waiting
868
00:45:46,711 --> 00:45:50,340
Up and down the boulevard
869
00:45:50,448 --> 00:45:56,387
Their shadows searching
in the night
870
00:45:57,756 --> 00:46:03,023
Streetlight people
871
00:46:03,128 --> 00:46:05,995
Livin' just to find emotion
872
00:46:06,097 --> 00:46:07,655
Hiding
873
00:46:07,766 --> 00:46:13,500
Somewhere in the night
874
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:26,273
Strangers waiting
875
00:46:26,384 --> 00:46:29,683
Up and down the boulevard
876
00:46:29,788 --> 00:46:33,315
Their shadows searching
877
00:46:33,424 --> 00:46:38,760
In the night
878
00:46:38,863 --> 00:46:43,232
Don't stop believin'
879
00:46:43,334 --> 00:46:46,326
Hold on to that feeling
880
00:46:46,437 --> 00:46:54,367
Streetlight people
881
00:46:54,479 --> 00:46:58,939
Don't stop believin'
882
00:46:59,050 --> 00:47:02,486
Hold on
883
00:47:02,587 --> 00:47:04,612
Streetlight...
884
00:47:04,722 --> 00:47:07,247
And the booster club
laughed at me when I demanded
885
00:47:07,358 --> 00:47:10,054
a smoke machine and laser lights
for the locker room.
886
00:47:13,965 --> 00:47:16,559
All right, gather 'round, take a knee.
887
00:47:16,668 --> 00:47:20,729
Got a letter here from
a little boy named Bobby Taylor.
888
00:47:20,839 --> 00:47:24,605
The kid's sick, real sick.
889
00:47:24,709 --> 00:47:29,112
Probably won't make it
through the night.
890
00:47:29,214 --> 00:47:31,842
Goddamn it.
891
00:47:31,950 --> 00:47:35,283
Bobby has one last dying wish.
892
00:47:35,386 --> 00:47:38,913
That's for the opposing team
to win this game.
893
00:47:39,023 --> 00:47:40,957
Now, we gonna let Bobby
get his wish?
894
00:47:41,059 --> 00:47:42,424
No!
895
00:47:42,527 --> 00:47:44,757
- What do we want him to do?
- Die sad!
896
00:47:44,863 --> 00:47:46,922
- Can't hear you.
- Die sad!
897
00:47:47,031 --> 00:47:49,625
Get out there...
898
00:48:10,755 --> 00:48:12,313
- Let's go, Comebacks.
- Yeah, Comebacks.
899
00:48:12,423 --> 00:48:13,981
- Who are they playing?
- Uh, I don't know, the Titans?
900
00:48:14,092 --> 00:48:15,389
Do you remember them?
901
00:48:15,493 --> 00:48:17,017
- No, I don't, 'cause they're forgettable.
- Very forgettable.
902
00:48:17,128 --> 00:48:19,096
Okay, listen up.
903
00:48:19,197 --> 00:48:21,427
Since our team got integrated,
904
00:48:21,532 --> 00:48:23,864
I know a lot of you white
players are nervous
905
00:48:23,968 --> 00:48:26,801
about losing your positions
to our faster,
906
00:48:26,905 --> 00:48:30,238
more athletic,
more talented colored boys.
907
00:48:30,341 --> 00:48:32,036
Well, you have nothing
to worry about,
908
00:48:32,143 --> 00:48:33,838
'cause when the Titans
take the field,
909
00:48:33,945 --> 00:48:36,971
there is no black and white...
just crimson and gold,
910
00:48:37,081 --> 00:48:38,912
- the colors of our uniform.
- Yes.
911
00:48:39,017 --> 00:48:40,678
We family.
912
00:48:40,785 --> 00:48:43,310
Starting lineup, Isaiah.
913
00:48:43,421 --> 00:48:45,184
Come on.
914
00:48:45,290 --> 00:48:47,258
- Williams.
- Yeah.
915
00:48:47,358 --> 00:48:49,383
- Washington.
- Yeah.
916
00:48:49,494 --> 00:48:52,190
Washington.
917
00:48:52,297 --> 00:48:54,891
- Washington.
- Yes.
918
00:48:54,999 --> 00:48:56,227
Damn. Washington.
919
00:48:56,334 --> 00:48:57,528
Yeah.
920
00:48:57,635 --> 00:48:59,068
- Jefferson.
- Come on, Jefferson.
921
00:48:59,170 --> 00:49:01,070
Jefferson, tell your mom
I got caller I D now.
922
00:49:01,172 --> 00:49:02,730
I know it's her.
923
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:04,034
- Carter.
- Come on, Carter.
924
00:49:04,175 --> 00:49:06,439
Check his eligibility.
925
00:49:06,544 --> 00:49:08,068
- Boyer.
- Yeah.
926
00:49:08,179 --> 00:49:10,079
- LeTroy.
- Yeah! Let's do this!
927
00:49:10,181 --> 00:49:12,376
Where the hell you
think you're going?
928
00:49:12,483 --> 00:49:13,609
You said Troy.
929
00:49:13,718 --> 00:49:15,185
I said LeTroy.
930
00:49:15,286 --> 00:49:17,254
Sit your marshmallow
ass back on the bench.
931
00:49:18,356 --> 00:49:20,722
White boy think he gonna
cover a receiver.
932
00:49:20,825 --> 00:49:22,690
You gonna learn,
933
00:49:22,794 --> 00:49:24,523
crack is whack
and white don't cover black!
934
00:49:24,629 --> 00:49:26,859
Now let's pray.
935
00:49:26,965 --> 00:49:28,865
Red and white.
936
00:49:28,967 --> 00:49:30,696
That's right, that's right,
that's right, that's right.
937
00:49:30,802 --> 00:49:32,201
Red and white.
938
00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:33,395
Here's the kickoff,
939
00:49:33,504 --> 00:49:36,029
as the Comebacks
try to bounce back
940
00:49:36,140 --> 00:49:39,132
from last week's
humiliating loss.
941
00:49:42,847 --> 00:49:45,975
The ball is loose...
and Trotter recovers!
942
00:49:46,084 --> 00:49:47,813
Yes! Yes!
943
00:49:47,919 --> 00:49:50,444
- That's the way!
- Yeah, yeah! Yeah, baby.
944
00:49:50,555 --> 00:49:51,886
That's the way right there.
945
00:49:51,990 --> 00:49:53,890
Ready, break!
946
00:49:59,664 --> 00:50:01,393
Hmm?
947
00:50:01,499 --> 00:50:02,932
Mm-hmm.
948
00:50:04,002 --> 00:50:05,196
Hike!
949
00:50:05,303 --> 00:50:07,271
Truman drops back.
950
00:50:07,372 --> 00:50:10,364
Touchdown Comebacks.
951
00:50:11,809 --> 00:50:15,040
Their first score of the season.
952
00:50:16,180 --> 00:50:17,704
Hike!
953
00:50:21,819 --> 00:50:24,379
Juanson picks up the loose ball.
954
00:50:25,556 --> 00:50:28,548
- Touchdown!
- Whoo!
955
00:50:28,659 --> 00:50:30,092
That's how we do it.
956
00:50:30,194 --> 00:50:31,252
All right!
957
00:50:31,362 --> 00:50:34,456
Sorry. I hugged him
a little too hard.
958
00:50:34,565 --> 00:50:36,328
I like your badonkadonks,
by the way.
959
00:50:41,939 --> 00:50:43,406
Let's go!
960
00:50:43,508 --> 00:50:45,738
Set. Hut!
961
00:50:45,843 --> 00:50:48,311
Titans on the reverse.
962
00:50:49,814 --> 00:50:51,213
Ooh, what a move!
963
00:50:51,315 --> 00:50:54,751
He's to the 30, the 20, the 10!
964
00:50:54,852 --> 00:50:57,116
Another Titans touchdown.
965
00:50:57,221 --> 00:50:58,950
Are you kidding me?
966
00:51:04,896 --> 00:51:08,457
Let's go get the quarterback!
Let's go!
967
00:51:15,606 --> 00:51:17,267
Yeah, I get it.
You're gonna kill me.
968
00:51:19,377 --> 00:51:20,901
Wha-What's this part?
969
00:51:21,012 --> 00:51:23,003
Oh, that means
he's gonna fist you too.
970
00:51:23,114 --> 00:51:25,309
Time's ticking down,
and we're still tied.
971
00:51:25,416 --> 00:51:28,817
It all rests in the hands
of quarterback Lance Truman.
972
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:29,852
Blue 20.
973
00:51:29,954 --> 00:51:32,946
Blue 20. Hut!
974
00:51:36,561 --> 00:51:38,028
He drops back.
975
00:51:41,933 --> 00:51:44,197
They're going long!
976
00:51:47,271 --> 00:51:49,262
Juanson's wide open.
977
00:51:49,373 --> 00:51:51,398
- He makes the catch.
- That's the way!
978
00:51:51,509 --> 00:51:54,069
Hot damn, he's on fire.
979
00:51:59,016 --> 00:52:01,678
Touchdown! The Comebacks win!
980
00:52:01,786 --> 00:52:04,084
The Comebacks win!
981
00:52:04,188 --> 00:52:05,678
Whoo-hah!
982
00:52:21,939 --> 00:52:24,874
Oh, gee.
Oh, di, do, do, di, do.
983
00:52:26,043 --> 00:52:28,534
Whoo, you like that,
you big baby, don't you?
984
00:52:28,646 --> 00:52:30,910
- Take it like a man.
- All right!
985
00:52:31,015 --> 00:52:33,677
Heck of a job
out there today!
986
00:52:35,253 --> 00:52:38,017
- Except for Randy.
- Aww...
987
00:52:38,122 --> 00:52:40,590
You had no part in the victory.
You added nothing.
988
00:52:40,691 --> 00:52:44,149
Coach, can I play
in the next game?
989
00:52:45,463 --> 00:52:47,363
I'll toss your salad.
990
00:52:47,465 --> 00:52:50,195
Please tell me you're gonna start
chopping up lettuce and tomatoes.
991
00:52:50,301 --> 00:52:51,666
I'll salute your flagpole.
992
00:52:51,769 --> 00:52:53,828
Please tell me
you're a patriot.
993
00:52:53,938 --> 00:52:56,566
I'll pack your fudge.
994
00:52:56,674 --> 00:52:59,768
Please tell me you're
a confectioner's assistant.
995
00:52:59,877 --> 00:53:03,404
Oh, no. I really meant I was gonna
pack your fudge and toss your salad.
996
00:53:06,017 --> 00:53:07,712
All right, listen.
997
00:53:07,818 --> 00:53:10,116
I want you all
to go out and celebrate.
998
00:53:10,221 --> 00:53:13,315
Tear it up.
Explore your bodies.
999
00:53:13,424 --> 00:53:18,020
Lather up your nethers,
get 'em wet, sticky. Shave it.
1000
00:53:18,129 --> 00:53:20,393
Go out and get yourself
a venereal disease,
1001
00:53:20,498 --> 00:53:22,193
whatever it is you kids
are into these days.
1002
00:53:22,300 --> 00:53:24,734
All right, get in here.
S.T.D.'s on three.
1003
00:53:26,837 --> 00:53:29,203
- One, two, three.
- S.T.D.'s.
1004
00:53:43,254 --> 00:53:45,119
The strippers are here.
1005
00:53:55,684 --> 00:53:56,673
Bling-bling.
1006
00:53:56,785 --> 00:53:58,412
Bling-bling, baby.
1007
00:54:02,658 --> 00:54:04,751
Yo, what took
you so long, ese?
1008
00:54:04,860 --> 00:54:06,487
Stuff isn't easy to find
this time of night.
1009
00:54:09,698 --> 00:54:11,188
What's up, 'Seel?
1010
00:54:11,300 --> 00:54:13,393
That's some good shit.
1011
00:54:14,736 --> 00:54:17,671
Yeah... Now I can eat
my Fruity Flakes.
1012
00:54:34,957 --> 00:54:36,447
I'll be right back.
1013
00:54:40,662 --> 00:54:43,222
Hey, Blue Crush,
where you been?
1014
00:54:43,332 --> 00:54:45,664
Catching some waves.
1015
00:54:45,767 --> 00:54:47,928
I'm a total hard-core
surfer chick.
1016
00:54:48,036 --> 00:54:50,504
At night?
In the middle of Texas?
1017
00:54:50,606 --> 00:54:53,837
I told you... I'm hard-core.
1018
00:54:57,446 --> 00:54:59,073
What's that?
1019
00:54:59,181 --> 00:55:00,773
I'm writing
my local congressman,
1020
00:55:00,883 --> 00:55:03,010
because I'm worried about
the rapidly decaying future
1021
00:55:03,118 --> 00:55:04,676
of Social Security.
1022
00:55:04,786 --> 00:55:07,016
During a party? Why?
1023
00:55:07,122 --> 00:55:09,113
Because everyone's
labeled me rebellious,
1024
00:55:09,224 --> 00:55:11,351
so I'm rebelling
against the rebellious label
1025
00:55:11,460 --> 00:55:14,361
by being conscientious
in rebellion.
1026
00:55:14,463 --> 00:55:15,953
Duh.
1027
00:55:16,064 --> 00:55:17,691
Michelle, I can't stop
thinking about you.
1028
00:55:17,799 --> 00:55:21,428
That night when we kissed,
and I...
1029
00:55:21,537 --> 00:55:22,970
bobbled your boobies...
1030
00:55:23,071 --> 00:55:25,733
I don't want to talk about it.
1031
00:55:25,841 --> 00:55:26,808
Why not?
1032
00:55:26,909 --> 00:55:28,740
Why won't you give me a chance?
1033
00:55:28,844 --> 00:55:30,835
Because if we went out,
1034
00:55:30,946 --> 00:55:35,042
you'd pick me up, we'd
drive out to the lake,
1035
00:55:35,150 --> 00:55:38,313
have a little picnic,
some wine,
1036
00:55:38,420 --> 00:55:42,220
we'd lay out on
a blanket and ball.
1037
00:55:43,292 --> 00:55:46,955
And ball, ball,
ball, ball, ball.
1038
00:55:47,062 --> 00:55:50,190
We'd do it over and over
for hours and hours.
1039
00:55:50,299 --> 00:55:52,267
And I would ride you so hard
1040
00:55:52,367 --> 00:55:54,767
you wouldn't be able
to walk for weeks.
1041
00:55:54,870 --> 00:55:56,599
We'd do it every day.
1042
00:55:56,705 --> 00:55:58,104
All the time.
1043
00:55:58,206 --> 00:56:00,640
Always trying new things
1044
00:56:00,742 --> 00:56:02,437
and different positions.
1045
00:56:02,544 --> 00:56:03,977
Then we'd get married,
1046
00:56:04,079 --> 00:56:06,013
move into a nice house
and have kids.
1047
00:56:06,114 --> 00:56:07,479
Two vacations a year.
1048
00:56:07,583 --> 00:56:10,984
One on a beach, and one
most likely in Europe,
1049
00:56:11,086 --> 00:56:14,112
with the occasional
Africa or Asia.
1050
00:56:14,222 --> 00:56:17,521
Second home on a lake,
early retirement.
1051
00:56:17,626 --> 00:56:20,117
Never tiring of
each other's bodies
1052
00:56:20,228 --> 00:56:22,992
or lessening
the frequency of sex.
1053
00:56:25,601 --> 00:56:27,262
Well, excuse me.
1054
00:56:27,369 --> 00:56:29,929
But that is not the type
of life that I would want.
1055
00:56:31,873 --> 00:56:33,932
That sounded pretty good to me.
1056
00:56:34,042 --> 00:56:35,771
Especially the balling part.
1057
00:56:35,877 --> 00:56:38,471
Hmm.
1058
00:56:38,580 --> 00:56:40,172
You know what, Michelle?
1059
00:56:40,282 --> 00:56:43,342
I bet, under that tough
exterior of yours,
1060
00:56:43,452 --> 00:56:46,944
under all that self-tanner
and macrame bikini,
1061
00:56:47,055 --> 00:56:51,185
there's something
very warm and soft.
1062
00:56:51,293 --> 00:56:53,557
And pink.
1063
00:56:53,662 --> 00:56:55,994
Probably smells a little bit,
but not too much.
1064
00:56:58,567 --> 00:57:02,970
I am not going to let you
sweet-talk me, Lance Truman.
1065
00:57:04,539 --> 00:57:06,336
Fine.
1066
00:57:21,823 --> 00:57:23,814
I hope you are kidding me.
1067
00:57:23,925 --> 00:57:25,222
A study group.
1068
00:57:25,327 --> 00:57:26,487
Please tell me
1069
00:57:26,595 --> 00:57:28,290
this is some kind of a joke.
1070
00:57:28,397 --> 00:57:29,887
Calculus.
1071
00:57:29,998 --> 00:57:31,192
Shakespeare?
1072
00:57:33,001 --> 00:57:36,437
You all signed a contract.
What are you trying to do?
1073
00:57:36,538 --> 00:57:39,769
Ruin your season
before it even begins, huh?
1074
00:57:39,875 --> 00:57:43,003
No, Coach. We're simply
trying to keep up our G.P.A.s.
1075
00:57:43,111 --> 00:57:45,409
Oh, is that what you call it?
1076
00:57:45,514 --> 00:57:49,610
Mm-hmm. You make me sick,
all of you.
1077
00:57:50,886 --> 00:57:53,684
Now, I was hoping...
1078
00:57:53,789 --> 00:57:56,849
that you kids would
have the gumption
1079
00:57:56,958 --> 00:57:59,984
to do this on your own.
1080
00:58:00,095 --> 00:58:01,790
But, apparently,
1081
00:58:01,897 --> 00:58:03,699
I'm gonna have to
take you by the friggin' hand.
1082
00:58:03,699 --> 00:58:05,633
I'm gonna have to
take you by the friggin' hand.
1083
00:58:05,734 --> 00:58:08,396
You won a football game!
1084
00:58:08,503 --> 00:58:12,098
Everybody knows that after
you win a football game
1085
00:58:12,207 --> 00:58:16,268
you're supposed to consume
alcohol at a dangerous rate!
1086
00:58:19,948 --> 00:58:21,381
Ah!
1087
00:58:21,483 --> 00:58:24,077
You should be
popping ecstasy, man!
1088
00:58:27,656 --> 00:58:31,057
Oh, yeah,
and huffin' some paint!
1089
00:58:32,694 --> 00:58:34,924
What's the color?
1090
00:58:35,030 --> 00:58:37,089
Good times.
1091
00:58:38,233 --> 00:58:40,030
Yeah.
1092
00:58:40,135 --> 00:58:41,796
Look at me now, man.
1093
00:58:41,903 --> 00:58:45,202
Yeah, I brought all these
illegal drugs to the party...
1094
00:58:45,307 --> 00:58:49,971
in my fake Louis Vuitton bag
that's chock-full
1095
00:58:50,078 --> 00:58:53,844
of pirated DVDs
I got down in Chinatown.
1096
00:58:53,949 --> 00:58:55,746
Who cares, man?
1097
00:58:55,851 --> 00:59:00,515
I'm just having some fun,
because I won a football game.
1098
00:59:00,622 --> 00:59:04,353
Yeah! I'm a huge
drug-pushing drug guy.
1099
00:59:04,459 --> 00:59:06,154
Check me out.
1100
00:59:08,563 --> 00:59:12,465
Gotta have some more of that.
1101
00:59:14,402 --> 00:59:17,337
That's the right spot.
1102
00:59:17,439 --> 00:59:20,135
Now I'm crazy wasted
with a bunch of minors
1103
00:59:20,242 --> 00:59:22,335
and I'm taking off
all my clothes.
1104
00:59:23,545 --> 00:59:25,479
Yeah, it's cool, man.
1105
00:59:25,580 --> 00:59:27,104
I'm a football player.
1106
00:59:27,215 --> 00:59:29,843
That's what we do!
Ow!
1107
00:59:29,951 --> 00:59:31,316
It's the cops!
1108
00:59:31,419 --> 00:59:33,353
You'll never take me alive.
1109
00:59:40,762 --> 00:59:42,696
Freeze, tighty-whities!
1110
00:59:42,798 --> 00:59:47,132
Ah! Right in my Reggie Bush!
1111
00:59:52,174 --> 00:59:57,476
Oh, come on.
You have got to be kidding me.
1112
00:59:57,579 --> 01:00:00,571
You can do it! Come on!
Get it! Get it!
1113
01:00:00,682 --> 01:00:02,843
Get it!
1114
01:00:02,951 --> 01:00:05,283
Aw! I'm sorry, Clint.
1115
01:00:05,387 --> 01:00:07,150
I couldn't get it
unstuck either.
1116
01:00:07,255 --> 01:00:08,916
Well, thanks for trying.
1117
01:00:09,024 --> 01:00:11,015
I should just ask for another one,
1118
01:00:11,126 --> 01:00:15,495
- but that piece goes so well with the room.
- Mm-hmm.
1119
01:00:15,597 --> 01:00:18,794
It does coordinate nicely
with those throw pillows.
1120
01:00:20,702 --> 01:00:23,967
- Wanna have sex again?
- No, I'm good.
1121
01:00:33,782 --> 01:00:35,477
- Who are you?
- I'm the warden.
1122
01:00:35,584 --> 01:00:36,676
You can go free
1123
01:00:36,785 --> 01:00:39,447
if you beat me in hoops...
1124
01:00:39,554 --> 01:00:42,318
- one on one.
- Hoops?
1125
01:00:42,424 --> 01:00:44,551
Me likey.
1126
01:00:44,659 --> 01:00:46,251
I feel I should warn you.
1127
01:00:46,361 --> 01:00:48,989
I was the leading scorer
of the Jewish community center
1128
01:00:49,097 --> 01:00:52,362
Bitty-boy's Basketball League
three years straight.
1129
01:00:56,504 --> 01:00:58,665
Well, I think I'm gonna
spare you the humiliation
1130
01:00:58,773 --> 01:01:00,570
and just wait to be bailed out.
1131
01:01:08,383 --> 01:01:09,611
Psst!
1132
01:01:09,718 --> 01:01:13,449
Are you sure you
don't want to cuddle?
1133
01:01:14,623 --> 01:01:16,215
And so, Coach called the only man
1134
01:01:16,324 --> 01:01:18,189
he knew he could
always count on.
1135
01:01:18,293 --> 01:01:21,194
The man who had been by his
side through everything.
1136
01:01:21,296 --> 01:01:23,856
The only man he knew
he could trust.
1137
01:01:23,965 --> 01:01:28,425
His partner, his rock, the wind
beneath his wings-me.
1138
01:01:28,536 --> 01:01:30,197
Thanks for coming, Freddie.
1139
01:01:30,305 --> 01:01:32,273
How long before
you can get me out?
1140
01:01:32,374 --> 01:01:34,638
I'm not going to be
able to do that, Coach.
1141
01:01:34,743 --> 01:01:36,802
What? Why?
1142
01:01:36,912 --> 01:01:39,039
It was right about then
that Coach Fields
1143
01:01:39,147 --> 01:01:40,774
realized something was afoot.
1144
01:01:40,882 --> 01:01:43,612
His old friend Freddie
had betrayed him
1145
01:01:43,718 --> 01:01:46,482
and orchestrated a most
nefarious scheme
1146
01:01:46,588 --> 01:01:48,852
- that would allow Freddie...
- Why you talking like that?
1147
01:01:48,957 --> 01:01:51,084
Ooh, my bad.
1148
01:01:51,192 --> 01:01:52,591
But now you know, Coach.
1149
01:01:52,694 --> 01:01:55,356
The reason why I wanted you to
be head coach of the Comebacks
1150
01:01:55,463 --> 01:01:57,727
is because I'm head coach
1151
01:01:57,832 --> 01:02:00,858
of the Lone Star State Unbeatables.
1152
01:02:00,969 --> 01:02:03,529
Coach of the number one
team in the conference.
1153
01:02:03,638 --> 01:02:04,662
Yeah. Yeah.
1154
01:02:04,773 --> 01:02:06,365
And I want it to stay that way.
1155
01:02:06,474 --> 01:02:09,102
See, I knew the Comebacks
had a shot this year.
1156
01:02:09,210 --> 01:02:11,906
And I also knew, if I could
talk you back into coaching
1157
01:02:12,013 --> 01:02:13,605
they'd sink like a stone,
1158
01:02:13,715 --> 01:02:16,684
because that's what you do, Coach-
you lose!
1159
01:02:16,785 --> 01:02:19,879
You bastard.
1160
01:02:19,988 --> 01:02:21,683
How could you?
1161
01:02:23,892 --> 01:02:27,191
Freddie decided
it was time to go.
1162
01:02:27,295 --> 01:02:30,560
As for Coach, he had
bigger things to worry about.
1163
01:02:30,665 --> 01:02:34,396
Why, just this morning,
1164
01:02:34,502 --> 01:02:37,335
he banged the wife
of the guy sitting next to him.
1165
01:02:37,439 --> 01:02:39,373
Come on, Turbo.
That's impossible.
1166
01:02:39,474 --> 01:02:43,843
I'm in here with you.
I'll get you for this!
1167
01:02:47,415 --> 01:02:49,007
Send a message to the warden.
1168
01:02:49,117 --> 01:02:51,017
I'll take him up
on his little offer.
1169
01:02:51,119 --> 01:02:54,384
Your interpersonal skills are horrible.
1170
01:02:54,489 --> 01:02:57,049
And you're a terrible gossip.
Everybody knows that.
1171
01:02:57,158 --> 01:02:59,888
People talk about you.
You cheat at checkers.
1172
01:02:59,995 --> 01:03:03,726
Oh, why resist it? Aah.
1173
01:03:03,832 --> 01:03:07,461
Oop da. Yeah, easy.
That's right.
1174
01:03:28,656 --> 01:03:32,057
Make it, take it, be-yotch.
1175
01:03:37,599 --> 01:03:39,726
Yeah! Come on!
Is that all you got?
1176
01:03:43,671 --> 01:03:45,696
I hope you weren't
planning on leaving today.
1177
01:03:54,049 --> 01:03:55,846
Get that shit outta here.
1178
01:03:55,950 --> 01:03:58,544
It's called skills, junior.
1179
01:03:58,653 --> 01:04:02,054
And I guess I got some. Whoa.
1180
01:04:20,008 --> 01:04:21,600
Change of rules.
1181
01:04:21,709 --> 01:04:24,269
Even if you win,
you're still gonna stay here.
1182
01:04:28,683 --> 01:04:30,810
What you looking at?
I'm not getting it.
1183
01:04:30,919 --> 01:04:33,581
Fine.
1184
01:04:33,688 --> 01:04:36,919
I'll get it.
1185
01:04:43,331 --> 01:04:45,663
I got it.
1186
01:04:45,767 --> 01:04:46,995
Hurry up!
1187
01:04:56,144 --> 01:04:58,169
Shit.
1188
01:05:05,954 --> 01:05:08,479
All right, gang, today we play
the Friday Night Lights.
1189
01:05:08,590 --> 01:05:10,649
They're one of the best teams
in the conference.
1190
01:05:10,758 --> 01:05:13,283
I'm not going to lie to you.
1191
01:05:13,394 --> 01:05:15,328
There's a lot of drama
going on over there.
1192
01:05:15,430 --> 01:05:18,194
Just found out that
Rick fell off the wagon.
1193
01:05:18,299 --> 01:05:19,732
He's drinking again.
1194
01:05:19,834 --> 01:05:21,358
And Lyla is cheating on Jason
1195
01:05:21,469 --> 01:05:23,198
with Tim, if you can believe that.
1196
01:05:23,304 --> 01:05:25,568
Smash can't
control his temper,
1197
01:05:25,673 --> 01:05:27,334
and I just found out
1198
01:05:27,442 --> 01:05:28,340
that last night,
1199
01:05:28,443 --> 01:05:29,535
Billy and Tyra
1200
01:05:29,644 --> 01:05:31,475
had a pre-homecoming party
1201
01:05:31,579 --> 01:05:33,672
and it got broken
up by the cops,
1202
01:05:33,781 --> 01:05:36,045
which means, for us...
1203
01:05:36,151 --> 01:05:38,711
automatic victory-
they're not gonna make it!
1204
01:05:41,823 --> 01:05:44,087
Rock n' roll!
1205
01:05:57,705 --> 01:05:59,673
Blue, 22! Hike!
1206
01:07:19,887 --> 01:07:20,945
- Hey.
- Hey, Coach.
1207
01:07:21,055 --> 01:07:23,387
- How's it going, Coach?
- Good game, guys.
1208
01:07:23,491 --> 01:07:25,516
Thanks
1209
01:07:54,071 --> 01:07:57,666
Oh, for the love of the game.
1210
01:08:17,228 --> 01:08:18,991
We all remember that touching story
1211
01:08:19,096 --> 01:08:20,893
of the autistic
high school boy
1212
01:08:20,998 --> 01:08:22,659
who was finally
given his chance to play.
1213
01:08:22,766 --> 01:08:25,030
This amazing story
has inspired people
1214
01:08:25,136 --> 01:08:26,797
from all different
walks of life.
1215
01:08:26,904 --> 01:08:28,565
Last night,
at Cleveland General Hospital,
1216
01:08:28,672 --> 01:08:31,641
Dr. Edmund Grand allowed Billy,
a longtime orderly,
1217
01:08:31,742 --> 01:08:34,210
a chance at his dream.
1218
01:08:34,311 --> 01:08:36,336
Touching story
out of Cleveland.
1219
01:08:36,447 --> 01:08:38,881
Time of death- 8:05.
1220
01:08:40,184 --> 01:08:42,379
There you are.
1221
01:08:42,486 --> 01:08:43,578
Well...
1222
01:08:47,725 --> 01:08:51,923
Tonight should be the greatest
night of my life, Barb.
1223
01:08:52,029 --> 01:08:55,260
But those kids,
they still just don't get it.
1224
01:08:56,834 --> 01:08:58,665
Who's that?
1225
01:08:58,769 --> 01:09:00,464
Who's who?
1226
01:09:00,571 --> 01:09:02,163
That guy in the
bed with you.
1227
01:09:02,273 --> 01:09:04,366
Right there.
1228
01:09:04,475 --> 01:09:07,069
Oh... um...
1229
01:09:07,178 --> 01:09:08,873
I didn't think
you'd mind.
1230
01:09:08,979 --> 01:09:10,879
We-We took in a foreign
exchange student.
1231
01:09:10,981 --> 01:09:12,710
He's a foreign
exchange student?
1232
01:09:12,816 --> 01:09:13,714
Uh-huh.
1233
01:09:13,817 --> 01:09:15,444
Where you from?
1234
01:09:16,787 --> 01:09:18,687
I'm from, uh...
1235
01:09:18,789 --> 01:09:21,087
Banging-Your-Wife-Istan.
1236
01:09:21,192 --> 01:09:22,716
Where is that?
1237
01:09:22,826 --> 01:09:24,191
It's, uh...
1238
01:09:24,295 --> 01:09:27,196
it's a little south of, uh,
Doing-Barb's-Fine-Ass-Yvania.
1239
01:09:29,633 --> 01:09:31,760
All right, Coach, all right.
1240
01:09:31,869 --> 01:09:35,464
I... I just couldn't
take it anymore.
1241
01:09:35,573 --> 01:09:37,006
You were never here,
and I am a woman
1242
01:09:37,107 --> 01:09:39,473
- in her sexual prime.
- Yeah.
1243
01:09:39,577 --> 01:09:41,841
Don't try to stop me, Coach.
1244
01:09:41,946 --> 01:09:45,109
I have finally found a man
who gives me what I need.
1245
01:09:47,151 --> 01:09:49,449
There isn't a Doing-Barb's-
1246
01:09:49,553 --> 01:09:51,783
Fine-Ass-Yvania, is there?
1247
01:09:51,889 --> 01:09:53,880
Is there?
1248
01:09:58,596 --> 01:10:00,655
Big story developing
out of Plainfolk, Texas.
1249
01:10:00,764 --> 01:10:02,595
Heartland State head coach
Lambeau Fields
1250
01:10:02,700 --> 01:10:05,635
is taking an unusual stance
against academic excellence.
1251
01:10:05,736 --> 01:10:07,863
He has locked his team
out of practice all week,
1252
01:10:07,972 --> 01:10:10,270
and now the squad is in danger
of forfeiting the upcoming
1253
01:10:10,374 --> 01:10:12,638
conference championship
at the Toilet Bowl.
1254
01:10:23,787 --> 01:10:27,279
You sure got to have some
big clankers to come in here.
1255
01:10:27,391 --> 01:10:31,589
Go ahead. Do your worst.
1256
01:10:31,695 --> 01:10:33,595
My wife left me.
1257
01:10:33,697 --> 01:10:35,824
Aw, hell.
1258
01:10:37,067 --> 01:10:40,366
It's my fault.
I forgot she was there.
1259
01:10:41,472 --> 01:10:45,101
Boys, if you find
that perfect gal
1260
01:10:45,209 --> 01:10:47,939
that has all
the little things,
1261
01:10:48,045 --> 01:10:50,275
and, yet, she's willing
to enhance them surgically
1262
01:10:50,381 --> 01:10:52,178
into bigger things.
1263
01:10:52,283 --> 01:10:54,808
And she doesn't mind
showing them to your friends
1264
01:10:54,918 --> 01:10:57,284
at a New Year's Eve party,
1265
01:10:57,388 --> 01:10:58,548
that's a gal.
1266
01:10:58,656 --> 01:11:00,647
- Yeah.
- That's the gal.
1267
01:11:00,758 --> 01:11:04,125
Well, don't take it so hard,
poon cheeks.
1268
01:11:04,228 --> 01:11:06,196
We've all walking in
on a loved one
1269
01:11:06,297 --> 01:11:09,494
getting barn-doored
by a half rack of bird doggers.
1270
01:11:09,600 --> 01:11:11,500
- Yeah.
- Yeah, we sure have.
1271
01:11:11,602 --> 01:11:12,830
Ow.
1272
01:11:12,936 --> 01:11:15,166
Hell, I remember
when my Dorothy left me,
1273
01:11:15,272 --> 01:11:17,866
and I did everything
I could to get her back.
1274
01:11:17,975 --> 01:11:21,342
And when I did, I made sure
that she'd never leave me again.
1275
01:11:21,445 --> 01:11:23,345
How'd you do that?
1276
01:11:23,447 --> 01:11:26,143
I treated her like a queen-
1277
01:11:27,551 --> 01:11:29,985
Like an Egyptian queen.
1278
01:11:30,087 --> 01:11:32,647
Mummified and entombed her
in the basement.
1279
01:11:33,757 --> 01:11:36,590
Her shrieks of help
like music to my ears.
1280
01:11:36,694 --> 01:11:39,254
It's all about communication, fellas.
1281
01:11:39,363 --> 01:11:42,389
My Jeanie, she used to wag
her finger in front of my face
1282
01:11:42,499 --> 01:11:44,433
and bug the bejesus
out of me.
1283
01:11:44,535 --> 01:11:48,494
But, well, we sat down
and when we discussed it
1284
01:11:48,605 --> 01:11:50,539
in a mature manner and-and-
1285
01:11:50,641 --> 01:11:54,008
and now sh-she'll never,
1286
01:11:54,111 --> 01:11:57,512
never wave this finger
in front of me again.
1287
01:11:57,614 --> 01:11:59,878
Amen to that. Hey, you know what?
1288
01:11:59,983 --> 01:12:01,746
I'm gonna tell you something.
It's about compromise.
1289
01:12:01,852 --> 01:12:04,013
Now take Salamander here.
1290
01:12:04,121 --> 01:12:06,521
Now we get up in each other's
rifle racks now and again.
1291
01:12:06,623 --> 01:12:10,684
But then we make up and talk
about it. We bangity-boo.
1292
01:12:12,329 --> 01:12:13,557
You know what I'm saying, Coach?
1293
01:12:13,664 --> 01:12:15,632
Solid advice, fellas.
1294
01:12:15,733 --> 01:12:17,564
You're good people.
1295
01:12:17,668 --> 01:12:19,693
It's still locked.
1296
01:12:24,441 --> 01:12:26,136
What's up, guys?
1297
01:12:26,243 --> 01:12:29,337
It's time to do something
we should have done long ago.
1298
01:12:29,446 --> 01:12:31,141
Get in the back.
1299
01:12:31,248 --> 01:12:33,409
Let's go.
1300
01:12:33,517 --> 01:12:36,145
Let's do it!
1301
01:12:36,253 --> 01:12:38,813
I think we're gonna need
a bigger truck.
1302
01:12:54,571 --> 01:12:56,562
I can't believe you, Dad.
1303
01:12:56,673 --> 01:12:59,301
Haven't you put
the team through enough?
1304
01:12:59,410 --> 01:13:02,072
They did it to themselves, Michelle.
1305
01:13:02,179 --> 01:13:04,545
I finally found someone
that I care about
1306
01:13:04,648 --> 01:13:06,707
and you're taking
away his dreams.
1307
01:13:06,817 --> 01:13:10,048
Sweetie, Trotter
only cares about himself.
1308
01:13:10,154 --> 01:13:13,282
I don't like Trotter anymore.
1309
01:13:13,390 --> 01:13:16,188
There's somebody else.
1310
01:13:16,293 --> 01:13:19,057
Someone kind and sensitive.
1311
01:13:19,163 --> 01:13:20,425
Someone who
1312
01:13:20,531 --> 01:13:22,761
loves to laugh and...
1313
01:13:22,866 --> 01:13:26,461
makes me feel wanted and alive.
1314
01:13:26,570 --> 01:13:29,869
Michelle, I'm your daddy.
1315
01:13:29,973 --> 01:13:33,602
I'm talking about Lance.
1316
01:13:33,710 --> 01:13:35,041
Oh... Oh, good.
1317
01:13:35,145 --> 01:13:38,444
He's a good boy.
He has a future.
1318
01:13:38,549 --> 01:13:41,484
This could be the real thing.
1319
01:13:41,585 --> 01:13:44,247
I want what you and Mom have.
1320
01:13:44,354 --> 01:13:45,946
Herpes.
1321
01:13:46,056 --> 01:13:48,217
No!
1322
01:13:48,325 --> 01:13:50,486
True love.
1323
01:13:50,594 --> 01:13:52,027
Oh...
1324
01:13:59,069 --> 01:14:01,560
Well, if you find it,
hold on to it tight.
1325
01:14:01,672 --> 01:14:04,140
Look at me. I blew it.
1326
01:14:04,241 --> 01:14:07,176
I promised your mother
I wouldn't let this job
1327
01:14:07,277 --> 01:14:10,804
get in the way of our family,
and I failed her.
1328
01:14:16,119 --> 01:14:17,916
It's not too late, Dad.
1329
01:14:18,021 --> 01:14:21,013
You can change all of this.
1330
01:14:21,124 --> 01:14:26,187
All you have to do
is win the championship.
1331
01:14:26,296 --> 01:14:28,594
Can't I lose by just a little?
1332
01:14:28,699 --> 01:14:32,601
No, Dad. You have to win.
1333
01:14:32,703 --> 01:14:36,434
You've spent your
whole life losing,
1334
01:14:36,540 --> 01:14:39,805
and this is your last,
and actually first chance,
1335
01:14:39,910 --> 01:14:42,708
to prove everyone wrong.
1336
01:14:42,813 --> 01:14:45,441
I know you're scared.
1337
01:14:45,549 --> 01:14:48,143
But you have to remember,
1338
01:14:48,252 --> 01:14:50,447
there used to be a...
1339
01:14:50,554 --> 01:14:53,682
a big, big man inside of you.
1340
01:14:53,790 --> 01:14:55,223
There's a reason for that.
1341
01:14:55,325 --> 01:14:57,486
I was in prison, I didn't have a choice.
1342
01:14:57,594 --> 01:14:58,561
No, uh...
1343
01:14:58,662 --> 01:15:03,929
What I'm trying to say is that...
1344
01:15:04,034 --> 01:15:05,865
I believe in you, Dad.
1345
01:15:05,969 --> 01:15:08,164
Oh...
1346
01:15:08,272 --> 01:15:10,763
And Mom does, too.
1347
01:15:10,874 --> 01:15:12,501
Sweetie...
1348
01:15:12,609 --> 01:15:16,045
Thank you.
1349
01:15:16,146 --> 01:15:19,980
Well...
1350
01:15:22,085 --> 01:15:24,679
Then I better take care of business.
1351
01:15:25,956 --> 01:15:29,551
And when I'm done, we're gonna
win that championship.
1352
01:16:03,961 --> 01:16:05,861
What the hell
is going on here?
1353
01:16:05,963 --> 01:16:07,931
Hey, Coach.
1354
01:16:08,031 --> 01:16:11,364
Buddy Boy smashed a whole
12-pack over his forehead.
1355
01:16:11,468 --> 01:16:14,369
I Pod's doing body shots
out of his belly button.
1356
01:16:16,073 --> 01:16:17,097
And Jorge, he's been
dancing like this
1357
01:16:17,207 --> 01:16:19,471
for the past six hours.
1358
01:16:20,911 --> 01:16:23,971
And Jasminder,
she made 300 bucks.
1359
01:16:25,115 --> 01:16:26,446
And I think that Randy
lost his cherry
1360
01:16:26,550 --> 01:16:29,018
to Gwen Stefani over there.
1361
01:16:29,119 --> 01:16:32,145
And our signed contracts.
1362
01:16:35,158 --> 01:16:39,117
I have never been so proud
of a team in my entire life.
1363
01:16:39,229 --> 01:16:40,526
Yes!
1364
01:16:40,631 --> 01:16:42,223
Who do you play for?
1365
01:16:42,332 --> 01:16:43,890
Comebacks!
1366
01:16:45,202 --> 01:16:46,191
Hello, everyone.
1367
01:16:46,303 --> 01:16:48,134
Al Michaels, along with
John Madden, and welcome
1368
01:16:48,238 --> 01:16:51,207
to Odessa, Texas, home of
the second annual Toilet Bowl.
1369
01:16:51,308 --> 01:16:53,242
And-And this is
the place you really want to be, Al-
1370
01:16:53,343 --> 01:16:55,903
I mean, right in the middle
of the Toilet Bowl.
1371
01:16:56,013 --> 01:16:58,379
I mean, there's no place
in the world I'd rather be.
1372
01:17:17,601 --> 01:17:19,501
What's this, Freddie?
1373
01:17:19,603 --> 01:17:23,004
Your players look like a bunch
of thankless thugs and thieves.
1374
01:17:23,106 --> 01:17:25,574
That's because they are.
1375
01:17:25,676 --> 01:17:27,041
They're my gridiron gang.
1376
01:17:27,144 --> 01:17:31,240
So, you want to forfeit,
1377
01:17:31,348 --> 01:17:35,182
save yourself a lot of
embarrassment and pain?
1378
01:17:35,285 --> 01:17:37,719
Why would I start now?
1379
01:17:39,823 --> 01:17:41,950
Lance!
1380
01:17:43,527 --> 01:17:45,427
Michelle.
1381
01:17:45,529 --> 01:17:47,497
I left something
for you in your locker.
1382
01:17:47,597 --> 01:17:48,996
For good luck.
1383
01:17:49,099 --> 01:17:50,088
I know.
1384
01:17:50,200 --> 01:17:51,929
I'm wearing it.
1385
01:17:52,035 --> 01:17:52,967
What?
1386
01:17:53,070 --> 01:17:55,595
The lace bra and the...
1387
01:17:55,706 --> 01:17:58,402
crotch-less panties.
1388
01:17:58,508 --> 01:18:00,772
No. I left you a note.
1389
01:18:00,877 --> 01:18:02,139
Oh.
1390
01:18:02,245 --> 01:18:04,213
A note saying that I'm sorry
1391
01:18:04,314 --> 01:18:06,748
for the way that I treated you.
1392
01:18:06,850 --> 01:18:09,648
That I was afraid
of a real relationship.
1393
01:18:09,753 --> 01:18:12,119
That I'm not afraid anymore.
1394
01:18:12,222 --> 01:18:15,385
That I am dying to let
you know how much I love you.
1395
01:18:15,492 --> 01:18:17,653
Nope, I never got that.
1396
01:18:17,761 --> 01:18:19,854
Oh. Okay, well, check.
1397
01:18:19,963 --> 01:18:22,523
Maybe it fell into the back
of your locker or something.
1398
01:18:22,632 --> 01:18:24,099
Yeah, I'll... okay.
1399
01:18:24,201 --> 01:18:25,225
Lance.
1400
01:18:26,369 --> 01:18:28,462
Wait.
1401
01:18:28,572 --> 01:18:32,941
There's something else
that I wanted to give you.
1402
01:18:33,043 --> 01:18:34,670
This.
1403
01:18:47,190 --> 01:18:48,316
Well, isn't that sweet?
1404
01:18:48,425 --> 01:18:50,586
Trotter...
1405
01:18:50,694 --> 01:18:52,821
We'll settle this on the field.
1406
01:18:52,929 --> 01:18:55,420
Woo! Michelle!
1407
01:18:55,532 --> 01:18:56,794
Got your letter, baby.
1408
01:18:56,900 --> 01:18:58,458
You and me after
the game, mama.
1409
01:19:00,070 --> 01:19:02,334
Woo! Yeah.
1410
01:19:04,474 --> 01:19:05,964
John, the excitement is so thick
1411
01:19:06,076 --> 01:19:07,941
in this stadium,
you could cut it with a knife.
1412
01:19:08,044 --> 01:19:09,136
A-A-And there's two things
1413
01:19:09,246 --> 01:19:10,713
that I love to cut with a knife.
1414
01:19:10,814 --> 01:19:13,214
One of'em is turkey,
and the other one is excitement.
1415
01:19:13,316 --> 01:19:14,510
And if you're a Comebacks fan,
1416
01:19:14,618 --> 01:19:16,142
you got to hope
they're not the turkeys.
1417
01:19:16,253 --> 01:19:17,584
But you have to believe
1418
01:19:17,687 --> 01:19:19,450
the Unbeatables will be
the guys with the knives.
1419
01:19:19,556 --> 01:19:22,992
Take a look down there-
it's unbelievable what's going on.!
1420
01:19:26,630 --> 01:19:27,654
Believers coming through!
1421
01:19:27,764 --> 01:19:30,096
- That's right! Get up!
- Get up!
1422
01:19:30,200 --> 01:19:32,100
- That's right. What's up?
- Come on. What's up!
1423
01:19:32,202 --> 01:19:33,260
What's up, eighth row?
1424
01:19:33,370 --> 01:19:34,496
Uh-uh!
1425
01:19:34,604 --> 01:19:36,538
And the team captains
1426
01:19:36,640 --> 01:19:40,132
take the field, ready
for the ceremonial coin toss.
1427
01:19:40,243 --> 01:19:41,642
Call it in the air.
1428
01:19:41,745 --> 01:19:44,805
And when I say "it,"
I do mean the coin.
1429
01:19:44,915 --> 01:19:46,746
Where is it?
1430
01:19:48,318 --> 01:19:50,081
Now where is it?
1431
01:19:50,187 --> 01:19:52,747
It's right here in your ear.
1432
01:19:54,524 --> 01:19:56,424
Call it in the air.
1433
01:19:57,994 --> 01:19:58,983
We'll receive.
1434
01:20:31,061 --> 01:20:32,551
Yeah, baby! Yeah!
1435
01:20:35,031 --> 01:20:37,898
Okay, ready... hut!
1436
01:20:38,001 --> 01:20:39,798
Unbeatables back to pass.
1437
01:20:39,903 --> 01:20:41,097
He's wide open.!
1438
01:20:41,204 --> 01:20:42,364
The bomb.!
1439
01:20:43,807 --> 01:20:44,774
He could go
1440
01:20:44,875 --> 01:20:47,571
all the way...
1441
01:20:47,677 --> 01:20:49,372
to Mexico.!
1442
01:21:03,927 --> 01:21:05,724
Green-20!
1443
01:21:05,829 --> 01:21:07,490
Green-20!
1444
01:21:07,597 --> 01:21:09,258
Hut!
1445
01:21:09,366 --> 01:21:10,492
Nah, you take that!
1446
01:21:12,335 --> 01:21:15,099
You take that!
1447
01:21:15,205 --> 01:21:16,001
Ooh!
1448
01:21:16,106 --> 01:21:17,505
Like you took my girl!
1449
01:21:17,607 --> 01:21:22,135
Personal foul.
Cock blocking.
1450
01:21:28,885 --> 01:21:31,945
Look, it's nothing personal, Trotter.
1451
01:21:32,055 --> 01:21:33,454
I'm in love with her, man.
1452
01:21:33,556 --> 01:21:36,525
Man, only thing you love
is taking my girl from me.
1453
01:21:36,626 --> 01:21:38,059
Man, would you guys shut up?
1454
01:21:38,161 --> 01:21:40,061
This game's bigger
than the two of you.
1455
01:21:40,163 --> 01:21:41,926
Football taught me
how to cope...
1456
01:21:42,032 --> 01:21:44,227
with anger, with life.
1457
01:21:44,334 --> 01:21:46,234
This team's all I got.
1458
01:21:46,336 --> 01:21:48,270
Without it, I have nothing.
1459
01:21:48,371 --> 01:21:49,599
Back on the skreets.
1460
01:21:49,706 --> 01:21:50,764
Dude,
1461
01:21:50,874 --> 01:21:52,466
your parents
just bought you a house.
1462
01:21:52,575 --> 01:21:53,906
A condo.
A junior one-bedroom.
1463
01:21:54,010 --> 01:21:56,342
Where am I supposed
to park my Prius, dawg?
1464
01:21:56,446 --> 01:21:57,606
All right, all right.
1465
01:21:57,714 --> 01:22:00,342
Pro-right-94, on one.
On one. Ready?
1466
01:22:00,450 --> 01:22:01,439
Break!
1467
01:22:03,586 --> 01:22:04,280
Hut!
1468
01:22:06,389 --> 01:22:07,413
How about a flag, ref?
1469
01:22:07,524 --> 01:22:08,786
My guy's getting mugged out there.
1470
01:22:08,892 --> 01:22:12,521
Don't take
my Gold Card, man. Come on.
1471
01:22:12,629 --> 01:22:15,359
That's ridiculous.
How much is he paying you?
1472
01:22:15,465 --> 01:22:18,366
A 1,000 dollars a call.
Twice the going rate.
1473
01:22:18,468 --> 01:22:20,197
Where is it now?
1474
01:22:20,303 --> 01:22:22,066
Hut!
1475
01:22:32,182 --> 01:22:34,082
Come on, ref!
That's attempted homicide!
1476
01:22:34,184 --> 01:22:35,378
You gotta call that!
1477
01:22:37,120 --> 01:22:38,678
What are you guys, blind?
1478
01:22:43,460 --> 01:22:45,792
Unbeatables up the middle
1479
01:22:45,895 --> 01:22:48,887
for an easy touchdown.!
1480
01:22:48,999 --> 01:22:50,557
They're running
all over the Comebacks,
1481
01:22:50,667 --> 01:22:53,261
who are more than overmatched.
1482
01:22:53,370 --> 01:22:56,567
JIM
Jim Rome here, and this is a ridiculous
1483
01:22:56,673 --> 01:22:59,369
half-time score:35 to nothing.!
1484
01:22:59,476 --> 01:23:02,707
We believe. We believe.
1485
01:23:05,448 --> 01:23:06,574
We believe.
1486
01:23:06,683 --> 01:23:10,210
So, you ready to give up?
1487
01:23:10,320 --> 01:23:11,787
Almost.
1488
01:23:11,955 --> 01:23:14,287
Hey, hey, my favorite part of the game-
1489
01:23:14,391 --> 01:23:15,983
the half-time show.!
1490
01:23:16,092 --> 01:23:18,026
Janet Jackson and Justin
Timberlake couldn't make it,
1491
01:23:18,128 --> 01:23:20,392
so instead, we present you
with this wholesome salute
1492
01:23:20,497 --> 01:23:21,896
to American values.
1493
01:23:22,999 --> 01:23:24,466
The weekend's here
1494
01:23:24,567 --> 01:23:27,229
The weather's nice,
two football teams are playin'
1495
01:23:27,337 --> 01:23:29,237
I put your
favorite beer on ice
1496
01:23:29,339 --> 01:23:31,239
But the couch
is where you're staying
1497
01:23:33,777 --> 01:23:35,677
The game is
on the plasma screen
1498
01:23:35,779 --> 01:23:37,508
Got deep-fried snacks
for munchin'
1499
01:23:37,614 --> 01:23:39,411
Rootin' for
the home team
1500
01:23:39,516 --> 01:23:42,144
Oops, wardrobe
malfunction
1501
01:23:53,530 --> 01:23:54,690
I mean, I mean,
1502
01:23:54,798 --> 01:23:56,129
it started out where she
was wearing
1503
01:23:56,232 --> 01:23:57,722
a lot of clothes,
then she wasn't wearing
1504
01:23:57,834 --> 01:23:59,995
a lot of clothes,
and then boom, I got a chubby.
1505
01:24:00,103 --> 01:24:01,695
Take a knee.
1506
01:24:01,805 --> 01:24:03,670
Listen up.
1507
01:24:05,475 --> 01:24:07,773
I've been a loser all my life.
1508
01:24:07,877 --> 01:24:10,710
I came into this world ass-first.
1509
01:24:10,814 --> 01:24:15,808
I was raised as a girl till
my walnuts dropped at age 13.
1510
01:24:15,919 --> 01:24:19,377
I didn't lose my virginity
until I was 22.
1511
01:24:19,489 --> 01:24:21,354
That was by accident.
1512
01:24:21,458 --> 01:24:22,982
I didn't know
1513
01:24:23,093 --> 01:24:25,618
I was gonna have to pay for it-
I thought it was a date.
1514
01:24:27,063 --> 01:24:29,122
I've destroyed everything
I've ever touched,
1515
01:24:29,232 --> 01:24:31,496
chased away everyone
who's ever loved me.
1516
01:24:33,002 --> 01:24:34,469
I am...
1517
01:24:35,572 --> 01:24:38,234
...a failure as a husband
1518
01:24:38,341 --> 01:24:40,468
and a father and a coach.
1519
01:24:41,945 --> 01:24:44,573
And a human being.
1520
01:24:55,158 --> 01:24:57,558
Um... Coach?
1521
01:24:57,660 --> 01:24:59,252
Isn't this the part
1522
01:24:59,362 --> 01:25:01,193
where you turn
your personal tragedies
1523
01:25:01,297 --> 01:25:03,094
and shortcomings
1524
01:25:03,199 --> 01:25:05,030
into a rousing,
inspirational rally cry?
1525
01:25:06,069 --> 01:25:07,730
Huh?
1526
01:25:10,440 --> 01:25:12,601
Oh. That's a great idea.
1527
01:25:12,709 --> 01:25:15,109
You're a real asset
to the team!
1528
01:25:15,211 --> 01:25:16,439
Well, thanks, Coach.
1529
01:25:16,546 --> 01:25:18,946
Does that mean I can play
in the second half?
1530
01:25:19,048 --> 01:25:21,175
No, absolutely not.
1531
01:25:21,951 --> 01:25:24,010
All right.
1532
01:25:24,120 --> 01:25:25,417
All right.
1533
01:25:28,725 --> 01:25:32,126
I don't think
I have to tell you all,
1534
01:25:32,228 --> 01:25:37,427
the scope
of the second half is to...
1535
01:25:37,534 --> 01:25:39,058
aim high.
1536
01:25:41,571 --> 01:25:43,300
And I...
1537
01:25:43,406 --> 01:25:46,705
pledge... to all of you.
1538
01:25:46,809 --> 01:25:47,776
That you will be
1539
01:25:47,877 --> 01:25:49,606
showered...
1540
01:25:49,712 --> 01:25:51,111
by the cheers
1541
01:25:51,214 --> 01:25:54,206
and shouts of joy...
1542
01:25:54,317 --> 01:25:56,148
from your fans.
1543
01:25:57,520 --> 01:25:58,817
It depends...
1544
01:26:00,523 --> 01:26:02,582
...on you now.
1545
01:26:02,692 --> 01:26:03,989
Remember...
1546
01:26:04,093 --> 01:26:05,492
your preparation
1547
01:26:05,595 --> 01:26:07,961
H...
1548
01:26:08,064 --> 01:26:10,555
and you can all be...
1549
01:26:10,667 --> 01:26:12,328
champs!
1550
01:26:12,435 --> 01:26:14,164
Yeah, champs!
1551
01:26:14,270 --> 01:26:17,899
All right, let's close our eyes
and bow our heads.
1552
01:26:21,878 --> 01:26:23,641
Okay, you can open
your eyes again.
1553
01:26:23,746 --> 01:26:25,907
All right, let's go get 'em!
1554
01:26:28,885 --> 01:26:30,182
Second half just under way,
1555
01:26:30,286 --> 01:26:32,811
and despite the score,
it seems the Comebacks
1556
01:26:32,922 --> 01:26:34,480
are even more fired up.!
1557
01:26:34,591 --> 01:26:36,218
And nobody wants this
1558
01:26:36,326 --> 01:26:38,021
more than Coach Fields.
1559
01:26:38,127 --> 01:26:39,287
That's the way!
That's the way!
1560
01:26:39,395 --> 01:26:41,454
Hope you had a good rest, Oprah.
1561
01:26:41,564 --> 01:26:44,965
Actually, Coach gave
a very inspirational spee...
1562
01:26:45,068 --> 01:26:47,559
Wait a minute, what'd you say?
1563
01:26:47,670 --> 01:26:50,503
Oprah. I'm saying you're
as fat as Oprah, you fat ass!
1564
01:26:50,607 --> 01:26:53,167
Are you
saying Oprah's fat?
1565
01:26:53,276 --> 01:26:56,006
Oprah's an incisive
and charitable lady,
1566
01:26:56,112 --> 01:26:57,636
you miserable piece of shit!
1567
01:27:02,619 --> 01:27:04,951
The toss to Trotter...
1568
01:27:08,057 --> 01:27:10,651
Ooh.! And Truman lays
a huge block.!
1569
01:27:10,760 --> 01:27:11,351
Go, go!
1570
01:27:13,429 --> 01:27:14,794
Yeah!
1571
01:27:14,897 --> 01:27:16,262
That's the way!
1572
01:27:25,108 --> 01:27:27,201
Truman scrambling.
1573
01:27:27,310 --> 01:27:29,005
Nowhere to go.!
1574
01:27:29,112 --> 01:27:31,342
Oh, look at that, Trotter
takes out two Unbeatables.!
1575
01:27:31,447 --> 01:27:32,812
I mean, I mean,
1576
01:27:32,915 --> 01:27:34,542
looks like he's
gonna score, Al.!
1577
01:27:34,651 --> 01:27:37,347
The Comebacks are finally
starting to play like a team.!
1578
01:27:37,453 --> 01:27:41,514
Yes! Yes! Yes.
1579
01:27:41,624 --> 01:27:43,319
Oh!
1580
01:27:44,661 --> 01:27:47,391
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
1581
01:27:47,497 --> 01:27:48,794
Nice block.
1582
01:27:48,898 --> 01:27:50,229
Thanks.
1583
01:27:51,334 --> 01:27:52,699
Nice run.
1584
01:27:52,802 --> 01:27:54,702
Thanks.
1585
01:27:56,806 --> 01:27:58,740
Hey, Lance.
1586
01:28:00,143 --> 01:28:02,134
Be good to her, man.
1587
01:28:06,149 --> 01:28:08,117
Be good to her, too.
1588
01:28:20,096 --> 01:28:22,223
Not all about winning, is it?
1589
01:28:29,906 --> 01:28:32,067
Hey, cameraman!
1590
01:28:33,776 --> 01:28:35,744
I hope you're
watching, Barb.
1591
01:28:35,845 --> 01:28:37,403
John, it looks like Coach Fields
1592
01:28:37,513 --> 01:28:39,640
is holding up the sign,
"I heart you."
1593
01:28:39,749 --> 01:28:41,512
Oh, he loves me.
1594
01:28:41,617 --> 01:28:44,609
Like chili fries
and the smell of his own burps.
1595
01:28:44,721 --> 01:28:47,212
He loves you, Barb.
He loves you, Barb.
1596
01:28:47,323 --> 01:28:50,258
He loves you, Barb.
He loves you, Barb.
1597
01:28:50,360 --> 01:28:53,352
He loves you, Barb.
He loves you, Barb.
1598
01:28:53,463 --> 01:28:56,023
He loves you, Barb.
He loves you, Barb.
1599
01:28:56,132 --> 01:28:59,590
Why can't I have that?
1600
01:28:59,702 --> 01:29:01,567
It's so beautiful.
1601
01:29:01,671 --> 01:29:02,638
Aww.
1602
01:29:04,507 --> 01:29:05,565
Hey, Coach!
1603
01:29:05,675 --> 01:29:07,973
Suppose I can get in the game?
1604
01:29:09,479 --> 01:29:11,470
Hey, guys, look who's back.
1605
01:29:11,581 --> 01:29:13,708
- I'm a quick healer.
- Hey, gang.
1606
01:29:13,816 --> 01:29:15,283
The cavalry's arrived.
1607
01:29:15,385 --> 01:29:17,376
And he goes by the name of-
1608
01:29:17,487 --> 01:29:20,012
Aseel Tare.
1609
01:29:20,123 --> 01:29:23,581
Okay, I got it. ACL Tear,
get out there. Let's go.
1610
01:29:25,061 --> 01:29:26,585
Not you Randy. Not you.
1611
01:29:29,365 --> 01:29:30,889
Set!
1612
01:29:31,000 --> 01:29:33,059
Brown-88! Hike!
1613
01:29:34,570 --> 01:29:37,232
Aseel Tare with the carry.
1614
01:29:40,042 --> 01:29:41,839
Look at that.!
1615
01:29:41,944 --> 01:29:45,573
He's got the entire defense
on his back.
1616
01:29:50,086 --> 01:29:51,383
The pile is clearing, John.
1617
01:29:51,487 --> 01:29:53,182
Yeah, yeah, it is. And take a look at that.
1618
01:29:53,289 --> 01:29:54,779
He got ripped into pieces.
1619
01:29:54,891 --> 01:29:55,619
Oh!
1620
01:29:58,895 --> 01:30:02,797
No worries!
I'm a quick healer. Whoo!
1621
01:30:02,899 --> 01:30:03,957
Yeah!
1622
01:30:04,066 --> 01:30:05,124
John, what we're seeing here
1623
01:30:05,234 --> 01:30:06,724
is a definite shift
in momentum.
1624
01:30:06,836 --> 01:30:08,394
I mean, we-we really are, Al.
1625
01:30:08,504 --> 01:30:10,267
I mean, y-you take a look
at what's happening
1626
01:30:10,373 --> 01:30:12,068
a-and they were down by a lot
1627
01:30:12,175 --> 01:30:13,802
and now they're not down
by as much
1628
01:30:13,910 --> 01:30:16,538
and-and pretty soon
they could erase this deficit.
1629
01:30:16,646 --> 01:30:19,046
Randy.
1630
01:30:19,148 --> 01:30:20,706
Randy.
1631
01:30:20,817 --> 01:30:22,409
Randy.
1632
01:30:22,518 --> 01:30:24,611
Randy! Randy!
1633
01:30:24,720 --> 01:30:29,953
Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy!
1634
01:30:30,059 --> 01:30:35,190
Randy! Randy! Randy!
Randy! Randy!
1635
01:30:37,200 --> 01:30:39,395
They're calling your name, son.
1636
01:30:39,502 --> 01:30:40,867
Get out there!
1637
01:30:40,970 --> 01:30:42,665
Randy! Randy!
1638
01:30:44,106 --> 01:30:46,472
Go! Go, Randy!
1639
01:30:46,576 --> 01:30:48,168
Would you look at this.!
1640
01:30:48,277 --> 01:30:50,108
Randy Randinger is making
1641
01:30:50,213 --> 01:30:53,148
his first appearance ever
for the Comebacks.!
1642
01:30:53,249 --> 01:30:56,650
Randinger's wide open.!
1643
01:31:04,594 --> 01:31:06,562
He scores.!
1644
01:31:06,662 --> 01:31:08,220
Unbelievable.!
1645
01:31:13,069 --> 01:31:15,003
Blue-ten!
1646
01:31:15,104 --> 01:31:16,401
Hut!
1647
01:31:18,140 --> 01:31:19,164
Ooh!
1648
01:31:23,446 --> 01:31:26,006
Randinger with
a block out of nowhere.!
1649
01:31:26,115 --> 01:31:28,083
You are not gonna believe this.!
1650
01:31:28,184 --> 01:31:29,583
The Comebacks score.!
1651
01:31:36,893 --> 01:31:39,987
How was it, son, everything
you'd hoped it would be?
1652
01:31:40,096 --> 01:31:42,121
Hey, thought you
might want this...
1653
01:31:42,231 --> 01:31:45,325
Get away! Get away!
Get away!
1654
01:31:45,434 --> 01:31:47,299
Aah!
1655
01:31:47,470 --> 01:31:50,064
Blue-22! Blue-22!
1656
01:31:50,172 --> 01:31:51,537
Hut!
1657
01:31:54,577 --> 01:31:55,475
Yes!
1658
01:31:57,079 --> 01:31:58,808
He knows our playbook.
1659
01:31:58,915 --> 01:32:01,008
What? How is that possible?
1660
01:32:01,117 --> 01:32:03,415
Freddie knows all my secrets,
1661
01:32:03,519 --> 01:32:06,317
where I get all my plays.
1662
01:32:12,595 --> 01:32:14,495
What are we gonna do?
1663
01:32:14,597 --> 01:32:17,361
Someone else has
to call the play,
1664
01:32:17,466 --> 01:32:19,900
someone Freddie
wouldn't expect,
1665
01:32:20,002 --> 01:32:22,971
someone who thinks
outside the Xbox.
1666
01:32:24,273 --> 01:32:26,673
I Pod!
1667
01:32:26,776 --> 01:32:28,937
I Pod. Hey, there, little buddy.
1668
01:32:29,045 --> 01:32:31,946
How would you like
to call a play, huh,
1669
01:32:32,048 --> 01:32:33,606
help us win
a championship?
1670
01:32:33,716 --> 01:32:35,013
What do you say?
1671
01:32:36,118 --> 01:32:37,346
What do I say?
1672
01:32:37,453 --> 01:32:39,819
Man, I been waiting all season
for you to ask.
1673
01:32:40,957 --> 01:32:42,322
Dude, I have been humping legs,
1674
01:32:42,425 --> 01:32:43,392
carrying this...
1675
01:32:43,492 --> 01:32:45,619
stupid cord all over
the damn place,
1676
01:32:45,728 --> 01:32:47,958
and now, fourth quarter
of the last game,
1677
01:32:48,064 --> 01:32:50,089
you come and ask me for...
1678
01:32:50,199 --> 01:32:52,861
All right, all right!
Just call the play, will ya?
1679
01:32:52,969 --> 01:32:54,197
Get out of my...
1680
01:32:54,303 --> 01:32:56,601
Watch yourself, watch yourself.
1681
01:32:56,706 --> 01:32:58,071
All right, everybody, come on.
1682
01:32:59,175 --> 01:33:01,439
974-wing bandit.
1683
01:33:01,544 --> 01:33:03,910
- Let's go get 'em!
- Let's go get 'em! Let's go!
1684
01:33:08,718 --> 01:33:10,709
Audible!
1685
01:33:10,820 --> 01:33:13,414
Let's switch it up!
1686
01:33:13,522 --> 01:33:14,784
Shift!
1687
01:33:19,528 --> 01:33:20,825
Shift!
1688
01:33:26,369 --> 01:33:27,768
What the heck is that?
1689
01:33:27,870 --> 01:33:30,998
That... is the
I Pod Shuffle.
1690
01:33:40,583 --> 01:33:42,312
Hut!
1691
01:33:42,418 --> 01:33:45,546
Trotter... back to Truman...
1692
01:33:47,523 --> 01:33:49,650
...back to Trotter...
1693
01:33:49,759 --> 01:33:51,090
Who scores.!
1694
01:33:51,193 --> 01:33:52,956
I mean, that was incredible.!
1695
01:33:53,062 --> 01:33:55,087
Phenomenal.!
1696
01:33:55,197 --> 01:33:57,358
Coach Wiseman
has got to be feeling the heat
1697
01:33:57,466 --> 01:33:59,331
as the Comebacks only trail
1698
01:33:59,435 --> 01:34:01,198
by one touchdown.
1699
01:34:02,271 --> 01:34:04,171
It's fourth and goal.
1700
01:34:04,273 --> 01:34:07,538
With just seconds remaining,
the fate of the Comebacks
1701
01:34:07,643 --> 01:34:10,612
lies in the hands
of quarterback Lance Truman.
1702
01:34:10,713 --> 01:34:12,908
Ref! Time out!
1703
01:34:14,650 --> 01:34:15,810
I can't do it, Coach.
1704
01:34:15,918 --> 01:34:17,613
What's the problem?
1705
01:34:17,720 --> 01:34:19,745
What if I drop the ball?
1706
01:34:19,855 --> 01:34:22,847
And what if you don't?
1707
01:34:23,959 --> 01:34:26,792
Damn!
1708
01:34:26,896 --> 01:34:28,955
Give me your hands.
1709
01:34:33,235 --> 01:34:34,862
Aw, geez!
1710
01:34:34,970 --> 01:34:36,130
Lance.
1711
01:34:36,238 --> 01:34:37,364
Yeah?
1712
01:34:37,473 --> 01:34:39,065
Do it for me.
1713
01:34:41,243 --> 01:34:42,540
Okay.
1714
01:34:42,645 --> 01:34:43,475
Okay.
1715
01:34:43,579 --> 01:34:46,605
We can do this, guys.
1716
01:34:46,716 --> 01:34:47,808
Yeah!
1717
01:34:51,754 --> 01:34:55,053
Let's do this! Oh!
1718
01:34:55,157 --> 01:34:56,590
- Yeah, Lance!
- Come on!
1719
01:34:56,692 --> 01:34:59,058
Set!
1720
01:34:59,161 --> 01:35:00,423
Hut!
1721
01:35:05,267 --> 01:35:06,996
Hold on to it, Lance.
1722
01:35:14,543 --> 01:35:15,840
Yeah!
1723
01:35:23,619 --> 01:35:24,779
Get out there, Jiz!
1724
01:35:24,887 --> 01:35:25,945
Wait.
1725
01:35:26,055 --> 01:35:28,990
We're not playing for the tie.
1726
01:35:29,091 --> 01:35:31,116
I say we go for the win!
1727
01:35:32,728 --> 01:35:33,854
Get out there!
1728
01:35:35,297 --> 01:35:37,288
They're going for two?
1729
01:35:37,399 --> 01:35:38,764
Don't worry.
1730
01:35:38,868 --> 01:35:41,894
I got one more page
in my playbook.
1731
01:35:46,208 --> 01:35:47,971
Set!
1732
01:35:48,077 --> 01:35:49,840
Looks like the Unbeatables coach,
1733
01:35:49,945 --> 01:35:53,540
Freddie Wiseman, has entered
the game at middle linebacker.!
1734
01:35:53,649 --> 01:35:56,209
Time out, Comebacks.
1735
01:35:58,120 --> 01:36:02,113
John, something weird seems to
be going on down on the field.
1736
01:36:02,224 --> 01:36:03,816
Yeah, it looks like Lambeau Fields
1737
01:36:03,926 --> 01:36:06,087
Was suiting up-
I think he's gonna go
1738
01:36:06,195 --> 01:36:08,629
for the two-point
conversion himself.
1739
01:36:10,800 --> 01:36:12,392
Coach!
1740
01:36:12,501 --> 01:36:14,401
Coach!
1741
01:36:14,503 --> 01:36:16,869
It's me, honey! I'm here!
1742
01:36:34,690 --> 01:36:37,921
I'd give anything for one last shot.
1743
01:36:38,027 --> 01:36:40,928
Because that's what you do,
Coach, you lose.!
1744
01:36:41,030 --> 01:36:42,520
I want what you and Mom have.
1745
01:36:42,631 --> 01:36:44,189
Herpes.
1746
01:36:44,300 --> 01:36:47,098
Set! Green-20!
1747
01:36:47,203 --> 01:36:49,194
Green-20! Hike!
1748
01:37:00,950 --> 01:37:02,713
Yeah!
1749
01:37:04,053 --> 01:37:05,645
The Comebacks did it.!
1750
01:37:05,754 --> 01:37:07,346
Coach Fields
has finally done it.!
1751
01:37:07,456 --> 01:37:08,480
The Comebacks win!
1752
01:37:08,591 --> 01:37:09,580
Do you believe in miracles?
1753
01:37:09,692 --> 01:37:10,852
Yes!
1754
01:37:10,960 --> 01:37:12,325
How long
have you been waiting to say that?
1755
01:37:12,428 --> 01:37:14,020
The Comebacks have won.!
1756
01:37:14,129 --> 01:37:15,391
They beat the Unbeatables.!
1757
01:37:15,497 --> 01:37:16,862
Phenomenal.!
1758
01:37:19,902 --> 01:37:22,370
We did it! We did it!
1759
01:37:27,910 --> 01:37:30,378
My shit goin'
to Disney World, baby. Yeah!
1760
01:37:30,479 --> 01:37:31,571
- Dude, guess what!
- What?
1761
01:37:31,680 --> 01:37:33,272
My parents just said we
could use the beach house
1762
01:37:33,382 --> 01:37:34,713
in the Hamptons for
the week to celebrate!
1763
01:37:34,817 --> 01:37:36,512
- No way! Oh, my God!
- Yeah!
1764
01:37:36,619 --> 01:37:38,018
And I get a real tattoo!
1765
01:37:52,534 --> 01:37:54,866
I love you, Dad.
1766
01:37:58,540 --> 01:38:01,566
- My boy!
- Dad!
1767
01:38:01,677 --> 01:38:03,645
Coach! Coach!
1768
01:38:08,250 --> 01:38:09,478
I'm okay.
1769
01:38:10,986 --> 01:38:13,250
Barbara!
1770
01:38:13,355 --> 01:38:14,253
Coa...
1771
01:38:14,356 --> 01:38:15,323
Oh!
1772
01:38:15,424 --> 01:38:17,324
Barbara!
1773
01:38:17,426 --> 01:38:19,291
Oh, God! Oh! Oh! Oh!
1774
01:38:19,395 --> 01:38:20,726
Barb!
1775
01:38:25,501 --> 01:38:28,061
Barb!
1776
01:38:30,339 --> 01:38:32,398
Get out of my way!
1777
01:38:32,508 --> 01:38:34,669
Coach! Coach!
1778
01:38:34,777 --> 01:38:36,677
Oh! I'm so sorry.
1779
01:38:36,779 --> 01:38:38,406
I love you so much.
1780
01:38:38,514 --> 01:38:39,776
I love you, too.
1781
01:38:40,883 --> 01:38:43,716
I'm a winner, Barb.
1782
01:38:43,819 --> 01:38:45,878
I'm hanging up
my whistle for good.
1783
01:38:45,988 --> 01:38:47,546
I'm never gonna
let sports come
1784
01:38:47,656 --> 01:38:49,521
before you and the
kids ever again.
1785
01:38:56,999 --> 01:38:58,523
Uh, Coach Fields?
1786
01:38:58,634 --> 01:39:00,534
Coach Fields, excuse me?
1787
01:39:00,636 --> 01:39:02,501
Name's Gabe Low.
1788
01:39:02,604 --> 01:39:04,595
I'm looking for a new
head basketball coach
1789
01:39:04,707 --> 01:39:06,402
at Sequel University,
1790
01:39:06,508 --> 01:39:08,373
and I think you're
just the man.
1791
01:39:08,477 --> 01:39:10,377
Well, mister,
1792
01:39:10,479 --> 01:39:13,812
I sure don't know anything
about basketball...
1793
01:39:15,317 --> 01:39:17,581
...but I'll take it!
- Coach Fields!
1794
01:39:17,686 --> 01:39:19,950
Coach, how does it feel
1795
01:39:20,055 --> 01:39:21,784
to finally win
a championship game?
1796
01:39:21,890 --> 01:39:25,382
Um... to be honest,
it really hasn't hit me yet.
1797
01:39:29,698 --> 01:39:32,895
I thought
it would feel better than this.
1798
01:40:26,922 --> 01:40:29,857
You guys are ripping me apart!
1799
01:41:10,866 --> 01:41:11,992
Let's do it!
1800
01:41:12,101 --> 01:41:14,535
I think we're gonna need
a bigger truck.
1801
01:41:16,271 --> 01:41:18,637
All right, huddle up!
1802
01:41:18,740 --> 01:41:19,968
Break!
1803
01:41:20,075 --> 01:41:22,475
Lend an ear, take a knee.
1804
01:41:26,215 --> 01:41:27,648
Clock's running down.
1805
01:41:27,749 --> 01:41:29,478
The game is on the line.
1806
01:41:29,585 --> 01:41:31,212
No time outs left.
1807
01:41:31,320 --> 01:41:33,345
Not gonna go for the tie.
1808
01:41:34,523 --> 01:41:35,990
This time I'm gonna win.!
1809
01:41:37,759 --> 01:41:39,317
See an open door.!
1810
01:41:41,130 --> 01:41:43,598
Gonna walk right in.!
1811
01:42:17,866 --> 01:42:21,063
Nobody shed a tear
for old Freddie.
1812
01:42:21,170 --> 01:42:23,138
At least, not after he...
1813
01:42:23,238 --> 01:42:27,174
"borrowed" $200,000
from the school's booster club,
1814
01:42:27,276 --> 01:42:30,211
moved his athletic ass
on down to Mexico
1815
01:42:30,312 --> 01:42:33,577
and entered into a consensual
polygamous relationship
1816
01:42:33,682 --> 01:42:36,617
With two fine-looking young ladies.
1817
01:42:38,921 --> 01:42:40,889
Adios, y'all.
1818
01:42:42,925 --> 01:42:45,325
Aw, Scruffy!
1819
01:42:46,895 --> 01:42:48,590
I think we nailed it!
1820
01:46:47,702 --> 01:46:49,294
Thank you! Good night!
123999
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