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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:52,830 --> 00:00:54,889 [IN RUSSIAN] 2 00:01:12,383 --> 00:01:14,351 [IN KOREAN] 3 00:01:15,386 --> 00:01:16,717 [YELLS] 4 00:01:34,705 --> 00:01:37,003 [IN ARABIC] 5 00:01:38,976 --> 00:01:40,841 [IN ARABIC] 6 00:01:51,656 --> 00:01:55,148 [ABBA'S "TAKE A CHANCE ON ME" PLAYS ON HEADPHONES] 7 00:02:24,455 --> 00:02:27,720 WOMAN: And this display is all that's left of CONTROL, a secret spy agency... 8 00:02:27,892 --> 00:02:31,589 ...which once battled against the criminal syndicate known as KAOS. 9 00:02:31,762 --> 00:02:34,492 CONTROL was disbanded at the end of the Cold War. 10 00:02:34,932 --> 00:02:37,924 Okay, up next, an exhibit... 11 00:03:19,243 --> 00:03:21,302 [BEEPING] 12 00:03:44,368 --> 00:03:48,634 Judy, the elevator is still doing that thing where it drops really fast. 13 00:03:48,806 --> 00:03:50,467 Are you sure Maintenance fixed that? 14 00:03:50,641 --> 00:03:51,972 Let me check. 15 00:03:52,143 --> 00:03:53,906 Yep, they fixed it. 16 00:03:55,846 --> 00:03:57,143 See you later. 17 00:04:00,217 --> 00:04:01,980 - Hey, Max. MAX: Agent 50. 18 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:03,344 [FLY BUZZING] 19 00:04:03,521 --> 00:04:05,614 16 floors down, how'd a fly even get in here? 20 00:04:05,790 --> 00:04:07,155 - Hey, Max. - Max! 21 00:04:07,325 --> 00:04:08,656 Hey, Larabee, 91. 22 00:04:08,826 --> 00:04:12,387 Yeah, big day. Could be your last chance to push a pencil. 23 00:04:12,563 --> 00:04:14,394 Field-agent test results are due. 24 00:04:14,565 --> 00:04:18,661 Oh. Is that today? I wasn't really thinking about it. 25 00:04:18,836 --> 00:04:21,270 Can you imagine Max as an agent? Little suit, little shoes. 26 00:04:21,439 --> 00:04:23,066 [LAUGHING] 27 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:24,229 Uh-oh. Two-nerd pile-up. 28 00:04:24,408 --> 00:04:25,397 [IMITATES CARS CRASHING] 29 00:04:25,576 --> 00:04:26,978 - Move! - Ow! 30 00:04:26,978 --> 00:04:27,478 - Move! - Ow! 31 00:04:27,478 --> 00:04:27,705 - Move! - Ow! 32 00:04:27,878 --> 00:04:30,642 Pretty boys. Nothing but empty suits. 33 00:04:30,815 --> 00:04:33,841 - Good morning, Bruce, Lloyd. - Why would you wanna be an agent? 34 00:04:34,018 --> 00:04:37,784 I mean, lab guys like us, analysts like you, we're the real soldiers. 35 00:04:37,955 --> 00:04:40,321 BRUCE: We're the true guardians of freedom and democracy. 36 00:04:40,491 --> 00:04:42,959 And I hear we're getting a new cappuccino machine. 37 00:04:43,127 --> 00:04:44,560 No, that's only for agents. 38 00:04:45,162 --> 00:04:46,288 Oh. 39 00:04:58,509 --> 00:05:01,103 MAN: Hey, Agent 23 is back. 40 00:05:10,388 --> 00:05:12,219 Thank you. Thank you, thank you. 41 00:05:12,923 --> 00:05:14,823 - Welcome back, 23. - Maxie. 42 00:05:14,992 --> 00:05:16,857 So how was the assassination? 43 00:05:17,028 --> 00:05:19,826 Maxie, you know assassinations are specifically prohibited... 44 00:05:19,997 --> 00:05:21,862 ...by executive order 12333. 45 00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:25,158 [ALL LAUGHING] 46 00:05:25,670 --> 00:05:27,001 23, you kill me. 47 00:05:27,171 --> 00:05:29,401 - I could if I wanted to. - Yes, you... Oh. Oh! 48 00:05:29,573 --> 00:05:32,098 Did you see that face he made? Scary. 49 00:05:35,112 --> 00:05:38,445 Six months' work. 18 million dollars. 50 00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:41,751 Fricking agents, man. 51 00:05:41,919 --> 00:05:43,250 MAN: Come on, let's see it. 52 00:05:43,421 --> 00:05:48,222 MAX: A lot of chatter in this region involves nuclear material. 53 00:05:48,392 --> 00:05:51,919 You may remember from page 627 of my last report... 54 00:05:52,096 --> 00:05:54,894 ...that there has been an uptick in KAOS interest in nukes. 55 00:05:55,066 --> 00:05:56,966 [BEEPING] 56 00:05:57,134 --> 00:05:59,967 To wit, I offer the following conversation. 57 00:06:00,137 --> 00:06:02,298 What are you doing? Are you texting? 58 00:06:02,473 --> 00:06:05,704 Yeah, letting my fiancee know we won't be able to get married in June. 59 00:06:05,876 --> 00:06:07,434 I'll still be in this meeting. 60 00:06:08,379 --> 00:06:09,971 AGENT 23: Can I see that a second? - Yeah. 61 00:06:10,381 --> 00:06:11,405 That's great. 62 00:06:11,582 --> 00:06:12,571 [CRACKING] 63 00:06:12,750 --> 00:06:14,809 That's weird. You lost your signal. 64 00:06:14,985 --> 00:06:16,953 Sorry to interrupt, Maxie, go ahead. 65 00:06:17,488 --> 00:06:19,718 Next time use your own damn phone. 66 00:06:21,058 --> 00:06:23,151 Good morning, men. No, offense, Karen. 67 00:06:23,327 --> 00:06:24,589 Snappy tie. 68 00:06:24,762 --> 00:06:27,560 Sorry I'm late, but I just came out of a budget meeting... 69 00:06:27,732 --> 00:06:31,725 ...with our incredibly abrasive, dismissive and sarcastic vice president. 70 00:06:31,902 --> 00:06:33,062 MAX: It's no problem. 71 00:06:33,237 --> 00:06:38,231 I have obtained a snippet, at great risk to a busboy in Balahd. 72 00:06:39,810 --> 00:06:41,835 [MAN SPEAKING IN PUNJABI ON RECORDING] 73 00:06:42,012 --> 00:06:44,242 "Aftab, how is your coffee?" 74 00:06:45,216 --> 00:06:48,083 "Good, Dalip, it's decaf. 75 00:06:48,919 --> 00:06:50,216 How is yours?" 76 00:06:51,422 --> 00:06:53,515 "It is good also. 77 00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:56,223 How is your muffin?" 78 00:06:57,762 --> 00:06:59,127 Powerful stuff. 79 00:06:59,530 --> 00:07:01,964 So "muffin," then, is a code word? 80 00:07:02,133 --> 00:07:03,794 No, it is comfort food... 81 00:07:03,968 --> 00:07:06,835 ...and quite frankly, more fattening than most people realize. 82 00:07:07,004 --> 00:07:08,403 Which begs the question... 83 00:07:08,572 --> 00:07:12,736 ...why would two hardened KAOS agents... 84 00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:15,708 ...risk the carbs? 85 00:07:16,714 --> 00:07:19,205 Because they are under a great deal of stress. 86 00:07:19,383 --> 00:07:21,044 - Hence the decaf. - For Aftab, yes. 87 00:07:21,218 --> 00:07:23,584 Dalip takes his full-strength. Why? 88 00:07:23,754 --> 00:07:26,552 Because he has been sleeping on the couch for three days... 89 00:07:26,724 --> 00:07:29,994 ...because he called his sister-in-law a "leathery hag." 90 00:07:30,194 --> 00:07:30,494 People often say things in anger they don't really mean. 91 00:07:30,494 --> 00:07:33,019 People often say things in anger they don't really mean. 92 00:07:33,197 --> 00:07:37,190 Leathery hag, fat cow, ungrateful whore. 93 00:07:37,368 --> 00:07:42,237 Just words, really, that shouldn't be used against you in a custody hearing. 94 00:07:42,740 --> 00:07:45,971 Let it go, man. Those kids don't even look like you. 95 00:07:46,443 --> 00:07:48,070 Can we put a pin in this, please... 96 00:07:48,245 --> 00:07:51,009 ...and go back to Max's extraordinarily detailed report? 97 00:07:51,182 --> 00:07:52,945 Thank you, Chief. All I'm saying is... 98 00:07:53,117 --> 00:07:55,984 ...that until we understand that our enemies are also human... 99 00:07:56,153 --> 00:07:57,814 ...we will never defeat them. 100 00:07:57,988 --> 00:08:03,654 Yes, they are bad guys, but that is what they do, not who they are. 101 00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:05,724 Let's continue listening... 102 00:08:05,896 --> 00:08:09,764 ...and bear in mind that the next 100 pages can get a little bit dry. 103 00:08:09,934 --> 00:08:11,731 MAN: Come on... 104 00:08:23,314 --> 00:08:26,306 Easy, Durat! This stuff is radioactive. 105 00:08:26,483 --> 00:08:28,451 One slip-up, and it's "ka-fricking-boom!" 106 00:08:28,619 --> 00:08:29,779 MAN: Shtarker. 107 00:08:31,121 --> 00:08:35,023 This is KAOS. We don't "ka-fricking-boom" here. 108 00:08:35,526 --> 00:08:37,153 Sorry, Mr. Siegfried. 109 00:08:37,328 --> 00:08:40,764 Get it in the truck, and let's burn this place to the ground. 110 00:08:40,931 --> 00:08:43,422 But if we have what we want, why burn the building? 111 00:08:50,808 --> 00:08:53,072 Any more questions? 112 00:09:17,167 --> 00:09:18,293 Missed me! 113 00:09:18,469 --> 00:09:20,164 [LAUGHS] 114 00:09:20,638 --> 00:09:23,732 All right! All right! I'm out! 115 00:09:23,908 --> 00:09:25,899 He was lying, Max. It was a good shot. 116 00:09:26,076 --> 00:09:27,373 Thanks. 117 00:09:27,544 --> 00:09:30,240 I am so sick of training. I wanna get out in the field. 118 00:09:30,414 --> 00:09:34,180 AGENT 91: Give it up, 23! It's just you and Maxi-pad against the six of us. 119 00:09:34,351 --> 00:09:37,582 Oh, gee, Maxi-pad, I've never heard that one before! 120 00:09:38,022 --> 00:09:39,990 I never have actually heard that before. 121 00:09:41,759 --> 00:09:43,386 [YELLS] 122 00:09:47,031 --> 00:09:48,225 23, you're bleeding. 123 00:09:48,699 --> 00:09:52,294 It's a knife wound from the last mission. My blood gets pumping, it seeps. 124 00:09:52,469 --> 00:09:53,834 LARABEE: Hey, Maxine! 125 00:09:54,004 --> 00:09:56,734 Come over here and we'll play a game I like to call: 126 00:09:56,907 --> 00:09:58,772 "Let's Go to the Dog Show." 127 00:09:58,943 --> 00:10:01,070 I put a collar on you and make you my bi...! 128 00:10:01,245 --> 00:10:02,337 [GUNSHOT] 129 00:10:02,513 --> 00:10:04,310 [LARABEE GRO ANING] 130 00:10:05,950 --> 00:10:08,118 I think I really got inside his head. 131 00:10:08,285 --> 00:10:08,619 I am not proud of what I just did. 132 00:10:08,619 --> 00:10:09,950 I am not proud of what I just did. 133 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:11,747 Game over, Chatty Cathy. 134 00:10:13,657 --> 00:10:15,784 [GRUNTING] 135 00:10:17,361 --> 00:10:19,761 Game over when I say it's over. 136 00:10:20,230 --> 00:10:21,720 - Okay. - Wet willy. 137 00:10:23,534 --> 00:10:25,229 Okay. Who wants lunch? 138 00:10:25,402 --> 00:10:28,769 Well, excellent work, 23, but I could've handled it my... 139 00:10:29,106 --> 00:10:30,130 [MAN GRUNTS] 140 00:10:30,307 --> 00:10:31,706 [EARS RINGING] 141 00:10:31,875 --> 00:10:35,311 - Max, the Chief wants to see you. - It is nice to see you too! 142 00:10:42,753 --> 00:10:44,118 You wanted to see me, Chief? 143 00:10:44,288 --> 00:10:46,756 Yes, Max, yes, please, sit down. 144 00:10:46,924 --> 00:10:50,451 Your field-agent test results just came in and... 145 00:10:51,862 --> 00:10:54,524 - Something wrong with your ear? - Absolutely not. 146 00:10:54,698 --> 00:10:57,132 Would you like me to wait while you answer that? 147 00:10:57,301 --> 00:10:58,393 Answer what? 148 00:10:58,569 --> 00:11:00,503 Nothing. You were saying? 149 00:11:00,671 --> 00:11:03,071 I was saying the results are quite extraordinary. 150 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:06,232 In fact, your essay on existentialism was quite amazing. 151 00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:07,934 I left that section blank. 152 00:11:08,112 --> 00:11:09,909 Blank? Brilliant. 153 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:11,570 Brilliant, Max. 154 00:11:11,749 --> 00:11:14,411 - You passed with flying colors. - Yes! 155 00:11:14,585 --> 00:11:17,076 You know what, sir? I can't say that I am shocked. 156 00:11:17,254 --> 00:11:19,984 I felt good about this year's test, in light of the fact... 157 00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:22,853 ...that in previous years, my fitness has been an issue. 158 00:11:30,367 --> 00:11:31,391 Personal best. 159 00:11:31,568 --> 00:11:34,469 But not anymore. I'm ready for duty. 160 00:11:34,638 --> 00:11:36,765 I know how hard you've prepared for this... 161 00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:38,737 ...and how much this means to you... 162 00:11:38,909 --> 00:11:41,070 ...but I'm afraid I can't promote you. 163 00:11:41,245 --> 00:11:44,772 - What? - I can't afford to give up my best analyst. 164 00:11:44,948 --> 00:11:48,145 I mean, the amount of chatter you get through, and the reports... 165 00:11:48,318 --> 00:11:50,445 ...I mean, they go way beyond the raw data. 166 00:11:51,155 --> 00:11:57,219 So to be clear, you're not promoting me, because I do such a great job. 167 00:11:58,062 --> 00:12:01,498 Max, the way you and I work is becoming a lost art form. 168 00:12:01,665 --> 00:12:04,463 I spend half my days trying to convince the vice president... 169 00:12:04,635 --> 00:12:07,433 ...that intelligence comes from humans and not satellites. 170 00:12:07,604 --> 00:12:11,040 Men with hunches, that's where the real work gets done. 171 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:13,142 I'm very proud of you, Max... 172 00:12:13,677 --> 00:12:15,838 ...very proud of you... 173 00:12:16,013 --> 00:12:17,878 ...but I need you where you are. 174 00:12:41,872 --> 00:12:44,170 MAX: I am sorry, but we can never be. 175 00:12:44,341 --> 00:12:48,368 Despite today's setback, I will at some point become a field agent... 176 00:12:48,545 --> 00:12:49,807 ...and when that happens... 177 00:12:49,980 --> 00:12:53,245 ...one phone call could take me to the other side of the world. 178 00:12:53,851 --> 00:12:57,685 Who am I kidding? I'm a middle-aged man who's missed the train. 179 00:12:58,355 --> 00:13:01,984 You don't deserve this. I don't deserve you. 180 00:13:02,159 --> 00:13:04,627 You're so young and so full of life. 181 00:13:05,696 --> 00:13:06,822 Don't do it, Fang. 182 00:13:07,698 --> 00:13:08,995 Don't love me. 183 00:13:09,166 --> 00:13:10,758 [GRUNTING] 184 00:13:11,502 --> 00:13:12,799 MAX: Here. 185 00:13:12,970 --> 00:13:14,938 - Oh, great. - Sorry. 186 00:13:15,105 --> 00:13:17,573 That was my last mile. I have no idea how fast it was. 187 00:13:17,741 --> 00:13:20,073 You were moving. It's not easy to knock me down. 188 00:13:20,244 --> 00:13:22,474 I have a low center of gravity. Pretty solid. 189 00:13:22,646 --> 00:13:24,978 I'm just gonna call that one a 4:50. 190 00:13:25,149 --> 00:13:29,142 Impressive. I once ran a 5:16. 191 00:13:29,319 --> 00:13:32,186 Oh, really? That's, uh, slower. 192 00:13:32,356 --> 00:13:33,846 Not everything's a competition. 193 00:13:34,124 --> 00:13:35,853 Well, if it were, I'd win. 194 00:13:36,026 --> 00:13:38,221 Ah. Are you flirting with me? 195 00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:41,389 Not at all. Are you flirting with me? 196 00:13:41,565 --> 00:13:43,328 That depends. Is it working? 197 00:13:43,867 --> 00:13:45,698 Not at all. 198 00:13:45,869 --> 00:13:48,337 Well, nice meeting you! I admire your focus! 199 00:13:48,505 --> 00:13:50,234 [YELLS] 200 00:13:51,942 --> 00:13:53,534 Am I invisible? 201 00:14:05,656 --> 00:14:08,352 [ALARM WAILING] 202 00:14:29,413 --> 00:14:32,211 Bruce, Lloyd, what happened? 203 00:14:32,382 --> 00:14:34,907 And what is that ungodly smell? 204 00:14:35,285 --> 00:14:36,582 Fear. 205 00:14:38,322 --> 00:14:39,619 I'll be back. 206 00:14:39,790 --> 00:14:41,225 [ELECTRICITY BUZZING] 207 00:14:45,762 --> 00:14:46,854 AGENT 99: Freeze. 208 00:14:47,030 --> 00:14:48,327 Freeze. 209 00:14:48,966 --> 00:14:50,490 - No, you freeze. - You freeze. 210 00:14:50,667 --> 00:14:52,794 - I told you to freeze. - Freeze times infinity. 211 00:14:52,970 --> 00:14:54,267 Oh, my God. 212 00:14:55,072 --> 00:14:56,471 - You. - You. 213 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,437 - Are you CONTROL? - I'm Maxwell Smart. 214 00:14:58,609 --> 00:15:00,577 I am a CONTROL analyst. Who are you? 215 00:15:02,346 --> 00:15:03,904 I'm Agent 99. 216 00:15:04,081 --> 00:15:07,278 Oh, my word. You are Agent 99? 217 00:15:07,451 --> 00:15:10,181 - I am a huge fan! - Thank you. 218 00:15:10,354 --> 00:15:12,083 [CLATTERING] 219 00:15:20,731 --> 00:15:22,460 What are you doing? 220 00:15:23,166 --> 00:15:24,656 I'm right here, just talk to me! 221 00:15:24,835 --> 00:15:27,269 I'm going to cause a diversion. You run and get help. 222 00:15:27,437 --> 00:15:29,405 - I really don't think that that's a... - Shh. 223 00:15:29,573 --> 00:15:31,507 - Did you just...? - Shh! 224 00:15:49,693 --> 00:15:50,887 Go, go, go! 225 00:15:51,395 --> 00:15:52,419 MAN 1: Wait! 226 00:15:54,865 --> 00:15:56,230 MAN 2: Somebody shut it off! 227 00:16:04,207 --> 00:16:06,971 MAX: Good, 23, just in time. I think I got one of them. 228 00:16:09,012 --> 00:16:10,604 Is that the Chief? 229 00:16:12,049 --> 00:16:13,676 AGENT 99: Yes, it is. 230 00:16:13,850 --> 00:16:15,078 Sorry about that, Chief. 231 00:16:15,686 --> 00:16:17,677 Is that a dent in his head? 232 00:16:27,331 --> 00:16:29,663 [WHISTLES] 233 00:16:34,571 --> 00:16:36,266 Hi. Hi. 234 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,273 Agent 13, you are in a tree. 235 00:16:39,443 --> 00:16:42,708 Yeah, communications got knocked down, so they put me in a tree. 236 00:16:42,879 --> 00:16:44,870 - Old-school stuff. - Glad to see you're okay. 237 00:16:45,048 --> 00:16:46,072 Yeah, yeah. 238 00:16:46,616 --> 00:16:49,949 Well, I have to get going. Would you raise up the walkway, please? 239 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,418 You don't have to get going. You don't have to go. 240 00:16:52,589 --> 00:16:53,783 Yeah, I've got a meeting. 241 00:16:53,957 --> 00:16:55,549 - How you been? - I've been well. 242 00:16:55,726 --> 00:16:58,456 - Everything good? - It's great. Well, I gotta... 243 00:16:58,628 --> 00:17:00,220 Could you come back this way? 244 00:17:01,431 --> 00:17:03,092 Yeah, yeah, I think I will. 245 00:17:03,433 --> 00:17:04,764 What time? 246 00:17:05,235 --> 00:17:07,760 Well... Mm. 247 00:17:08,171 --> 00:17:09,900 I get it. 248 00:17:11,007 --> 00:17:12,998 Who wants to talk to a guy in a tree? 249 00:17:13,176 --> 00:17:14,473 I get it. 250 00:17:15,579 --> 00:17:18,377 Hang in there. Don't cry, don't... Please don't cry. 251 00:17:28,959 --> 00:17:31,052 [BEEPING] 252 00:17:39,403 --> 00:17:41,496 CHIEF: Okay. Let's get started. 253 00:17:41,671 --> 00:17:44,333 You'll have to bear with me, I'm still a little fuzzy. 254 00:17:44,508 --> 00:17:46,976 I got a pretty good hit in the head yesterday. 255 00:17:47,144 --> 00:17:51,137 Yes, it was dark in there. You probably tripped. 256 00:17:51,314 --> 00:17:54,374 I hurt my knee. It was smoky too. 257 00:17:55,819 --> 00:17:57,878 CHIEF: All right, here's what we know. 258 00:17:58,054 --> 00:18:00,852 Wait. Chief, I request the cone of silence. 259 00:18:01,024 --> 00:18:04,755 Max, not the cone of silence. We're in a safe room, for God's sakes. 260 00:18:04,928 --> 00:18:06,520 We thought CONTROL was safe. 261 00:18:07,297 --> 00:18:08,628 Okay. Lloyd. 262 00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:16,403 CHIEF: Okay, we have reason to believe that our security was breached by KAOS. 263 00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,837 - You have to speak up. CHIEF: Can you hear me? 264 00:18:19,009 --> 00:18:20,840 - I'm not hearing anyone. - What? 265 00:18:21,011 --> 00:18:22,945 CHIEF: Can you hear me? AGENT 99: What did you say? 266 00:18:23,113 --> 00:18:25,673 - Bruce, it's not working. - It's not working! 267 00:18:26,950 --> 00:18:29,748 Chief! I hit you in the head with a fire extinguisher! 268 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:31,888 No, no, no, we're not ready yet. 269 00:18:32,055 --> 00:18:33,989 LARABEE: Okay. All right. 270 00:18:34,157 --> 00:18:36,421 - It doesn't work, get rid of it. - Turn it off. 271 00:18:36,593 --> 00:18:39,187 This thing is no good. It's a useless piece of garbage. 272 00:18:39,362 --> 00:18:41,523 - Turn it off! - Larabee, you all right? 273 00:18:41,698 --> 00:18:43,632 Larabee wants out! 274 00:18:46,570 --> 00:18:48,197 [YELLS] 275 00:18:48,371 --> 00:18:51,169 Today's the day, and we're gonna get rid of this damn thing. 276 00:18:51,341 --> 00:18:53,935 LARABEE: That is cold. That's cold. AGENT 91: All right, easy. 277 00:18:54,110 --> 00:18:55,737 CHIEF: All right, are we done? 278 00:18:55,912 --> 00:18:57,277 Yep. I can hear now. 279 00:18:57,447 --> 00:19:00,541 Sorry, Chief, someone led me to believe the cone was ready. 280 00:19:00,717 --> 00:19:03,413 For the record, I never actually used the word "ready." 281 00:19:03,587 --> 00:19:06,147 "I'll show them the cone. The cone's the shizzle." 282 00:19:06,323 --> 00:19:07,722 - You said that to me. - All right, shut up. 283 00:19:08,425 --> 00:19:09,449 Listen up, people. 284 00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:11,958 There's been a rash of thefts of nuclear material... 285 00:19:12,128 --> 00:19:14,562 ...especially yellowcake, over the last three months. 286 00:19:14,731 --> 00:19:19,361 Now, based on Max's intel, we were able to get Agent 38 inside KAOS. 287 00:19:19,536 --> 00:19:21,731 We must've been close to uncovering something... 288 00:19:21,905 --> 00:19:23,736 ...so KAOS hit us and they hit us hard. 289 00:19:23,907 --> 00:19:25,675 They hacked our system... 290 00:19:25,876 --> 00:19:26,176 ...and learned the identities of all our field agents. 291 00:19:26,176 --> 00:19:28,576 ...and learned the identities of all our field agents. 292 00:19:28,745 --> 00:19:30,804 Around the world our people are under attack. 293 00:19:30,981 --> 00:19:33,040 [DARTS WHIZZING] 294 00:19:38,188 --> 00:19:41,885 Our only lead is the maker of the bomb KAOS used against us. 295 00:19:42,058 --> 00:19:43,582 Vladimir Krs... 296 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,694 - It's pronounced "Krstic," sir. - Yes... 297 00:19:45,862 --> 00:19:46,886 [MUMBLES] 298 00:19:47,063 --> 00:19:48,428 MAX: Krstic. 299 00:19:48,598 --> 00:19:49,758 [MUMBLES] 300 00:19:49,933 --> 00:19:54,267 Yes. He is a Bosnian national, and one of KAOS' favorite munitions suppliers. 301 00:19:54,437 --> 00:19:57,235 Unfortunately, we have no idea where he is. 302 00:19:57,407 --> 00:19:59,534 Actually, sir, we do. He is in Russia. 303 00:19:59,709 --> 00:20:02,735 - How do you know that? - It was on page 482 of my report. 304 00:20:05,081 --> 00:20:06,708 Doesn't anybody read my reports? 305 00:20:07,951 --> 00:20:11,409 All right, our mission is clear, people. Find Krs... 306 00:20:11,588 --> 00:20:13,180 - Krstic. - Yes. Find him! 307 00:20:13,356 --> 00:20:15,347 - Kris Kringle. Fish stick. CHIEF: Yes, Krs... 308 00:20:15,525 --> 00:20:17,117 - Okay, I got it, I got it. MAX: Krstic. 309 00:20:17,294 --> 00:20:20,889 Use him to get to KAOS, then recover the stolen nuclear material... 310 00:20:21,064 --> 00:20:23,498 ...before they can do something less than friendly... 311 00:20:23,667 --> 00:20:27,626 ...and maybe, if we're lucky, we can apprehend the man behind it all... 312 00:20:27,804 --> 00:20:28,896 ...Siegfried. 313 00:20:29,072 --> 00:20:31,973 Pictured here with his number two man, Shtarker. 314 00:20:32,142 --> 00:20:34,975 How are we gonna do that when our agents are compromised? 315 00:20:35,145 --> 00:20:38,012 Put me out there, Chief. I'm not afraid to expose myself. 316 00:20:38,181 --> 00:20:40,240 Do you ever think before you speak? 317 00:20:40,417 --> 00:20:42,817 No, I just whip it out there. It's what's best. 318 00:20:42,986 --> 00:20:44,647 Fortunately, we have other options. 319 00:20:44,821 --> 00:20:49,588 99 recently underwent massive plastic surgery, so her new face is not known yet. 320 00:20:49,759 --> 00:20:52,694 We also have a new agent, Agent 86. 321 00:20:52,862 --> 00:20:54,124 Who's that, sir? 322 00:20:54,297 --> 00:20:55,924 It's you, Max. 323 00:20:57,734 --> 00:20:59,361 All right, Maxie. 324 00:21:00,637 --> 00:21:01,661 You did it. 325 00:21:03,607 --> 00:21:05,370 Lloyd, may I have the C.O.S. Please? 326 00:21:10,180 --> 00:21:11,374 I'm so happy! 327 00:21:11,548 --> 00:21:15,644 I'm so happy! This is the best day of my life! 328 00:21:17,887 --> 00:21:21,323 Max, you didn't push the button hard enough. 329 00:21:21,491 --> 00:21:23,982 - So you could hear me? BRUCE: Yes. 330 00:21:24,794 --> 00:21:27,160 - Right. AGENT 99: Excuse me, Chief, just a thought. 331 00:21:27,330 --> 00:21:31,266 - I'm not questioning your judgment... MAX: 99, I insist on complete honesty. 332 00:21:31,434 --> 00:21:34,460 If you have something to say to me, I wish you would just say it. 333 00:21:34,638 --> 00:21:36,970 Max has no experience. I don't want him as my partner. 334 00:21:37,140 --> 00:21:40,541 Well, that is a sucker punch to the gonads. 335 00:21:43,046 --> 00:21:46,982 Hey, Max. We got you a lovely parting gift for your first mission. 336 00:21:47,150 --> 00:21:49,414 Oh, a pocketknife. 337 00:21:49,586 --> 00:21:51,918 Not just a pocketknife, Swiss Army knife. 338 00:21:52,088 --> 00:21:54,579 Comes with tweezers, pliers, a tiny magnifying glass. 339 00:21:54,758 --> 00:21:57,921 Fish scaler, a saw, a flamethrower, chisel, a wire-crimping tool. 340 00:21:58,094 --> 00:21:59,959 - What was that thing you said? - Chisel? 341 00:22:00,130 --> 00:22:01,893 Before that. Did you say flamethrower? 342 00:22:02,065 --> 00:22:03,396 - Yeah. - Check it. 343 00:22:06,036 --> 00:22:08,197 We also added a crossbow that fires harpoons... 344 00:22:08,371 --> 00:22:12,102 ...connected to spider-silk nano-thread. Has the strength of steel cable. 345 00:22:12,275 --> 00:22:14,766 It's a time-consuming, labor-intensive technology. 346 00:22:14,944 --> 00:22:17,071 The spiders have to be individually milked. 347 00:22:17,247 --> 00:22:19,215 And they do not like it. 348 00:22:19,382 --> 00:22:20,713 No, they don't. 349 00:22:20,884 --> 00:22:22,852 Gentlemen, you're the best. 350 00:22:23,353 --> 00:22:24,377 Thanks. 351 00:22:41,438 --> 00:22:43,838 WOMAN: Ladies and gentlemen, while you are in your seats... 352 00:22:44,007 --> 00:22:46,202 ...please keep your seatbelts fastened. 353 00:22:47,110 --> 00:22:49,704 I feel really good about us as partners. 354 00:22:49,879 --> 00:22:51,574 23 says that's important. 355 00:22:52,315 --> 00:22:54,943 "Trust is a must." That's what 23 says. 356 00:22:55,118 --> 00:22:56,142 Does he? 357 00:22:56,319 --> 00:22:59,311 You and I share a bond, I think. 358 00:22:59,489 --> 00:23:03,653 We both know what it feels like to look in the mirror and not like what we see. 359 00:23:03,827 --> 00:23:06,625 You with the surgery, me with the weight loss. 360 00:23:06,896 --> 00:23:08,887 I wanna show you something. 361 00:23:13,069 --> 00:23:14,161 That was me. 362 00:23:14,337 --> 00:23:16,237 AGENT 99: Wow, impressive. 363 00:23:16,406 --> 00:23:18,067 Congratulations. 364 00:23:18,241 --> 00:23:19,731 Thank you. 365 00:23:22,345 --> 00:23:25,280 This is me. 366 00:23:26,116 --> 00:23:27,845 MAX: Wow. 367 00:23:28,017 --> 00:23:29,917 Very impressive, 99. 368 00:23:30,620 --> 00:23:33,180 You were truly hideous back then. 369 00:23:35,759 --> 00:23:38,284 Since we are going to be portraying husband and wife... 370 00:23:38,461 --> 00:23:40,827 ...maybe we should get our story set. 371 00:23:41,164 --> 00:23:42,654 Okay, good idea. 372 00:23:44,534 --> 00:23:49,028 We met at a marketing convention in Vegas. Married a year later. No kids. 373 00:23:49,205 --> 00:23:51,105 I like your parents, but you hate mine. 374 00:23:51,274 --> 00:23:52,639 Do we want kids? 375 00:23:52,809 --> 00:23:55,676 Well, you do, but I'm concentrating on my career. 376 00:23:55,845 --> 00:23:58,609 I don't know if that's fair. I mean, I'm older than you are. 377 00:23:58,782 --> 00:24:01,808 - Well, not by much. - Really? 378 00:24:03,386 --> 00:24:06,719 When they gave me a new face, I had them... 379 00:24:07,557 --> 00:24:09,650 ...take a couple years off. 380 00:24:09,826 --> 00:24:11,316 You know, why not? 381 00:24:12,162 --> 00:24:16,861 Well, if that's the case, then you are at an advanced age, and you should be... 382 00:24:17,033 --> 00:24:18,830 Well, no. I was never... 383 00:24:19,002 --> 00:24:23,200 I'm just saying that your eggs could dry up and fall out of your uterus. 384 00:24:23,373 --> 00:24:25,739 So time is of the essence. 385 00:24:26,843 --> 00:24:29,812 - That's your opinion. - No, that is a medical fact. 386 00:24:29,979 --> 00:24:32,675 There is a lot of time for me to make this decision. 387 00:24:32,849 --> 00:24:35,249 I will not be rushed into it by you or my mother. 388 00:24:35,418 --> 00:24:37,852 - You don't have much time. - Where is the drink cart? 389 00:24:42,559 --> 00:24:43,548 Uh-oh. 390 00:24:43,726 --> 00:24:45,489 - What? - Six o'clock. 391 00:24:46,362 --> 00:24:49,957 Don't turn around, don't turn around. Use your peripherals. 392 00:24:54,404 --> 00:24:55,735 Do you see him? 393 00:24:56,005 --> 00:24:59,270 I'm just widening my eyes. I'm not actually seeing anything more. 394 00:24:59,442 --> 00:25:01,876 The big guy that might as well be holding up a sign: 395 00:25:02,045 --> 00:25:03,842 "I'm an assassin, here to kill you." 396 00:25:04,013 --> 00:25:06,413 Okay, 99, you know what? That is profiling. 397 00:25:06,583 --> 00:25:11,213 Just because he is large doesn't necessarily mean that he is a bad guy. 398 00:25:13,122 --> 00:25:15,682 Oh. Wow. 399 00:25:15,859 --> 00:25:18,953 That's a bad guy. That's a really bad guy. 400 00:25:19,128 --> 00:25:20,891 - You don't say. - Did you see his face? 401 00:25:21,064 --> 00:25:22,088 Yes. 402 00:25:22,265 --> 00:25:25,632 His head looks like one of the Easter Island heads. 403 00:25:27,871 --> 00:25:29,862 You know what? I'm doing the same thing. 404 00:25:30,039 --> 00:25:32,906 That's profiling, and I will have none of it. 405 00:25:33,076 --> 00:25:36,910 Darn it, I have gum on my new shoes. 406 00:25:41,918 --> 00:25:44,250 - He's trying to light his shoe. MAN: It's a shoe bomb! 407 00:25:44,420 --> 00:25:45,682 - Get him! - It's gum. 408 00:25:45,855 --> 00:25:49,347 - He's got a gun! - Not... Gum! Not... No! Gum! 409 00:25:49,525 --> 00:25:51,755 [PEOPLE SCREAMING] 410 00:25:52,562 --> 00:25:54,120 Gum! 411 00:25:54,297 --> 00:25:56,322 Federal marshal, you're under arrest. 412 00:25:56,499 --> 00:25:59,900 Sir, I believe you just shattered my coccyx. 413 00:26:01,204 --> 00:26:03,934 MAN [O VER SPEAKER]: Folks, we may be experiencing a little turbulence. 414 00:26:04,107 --> 00:26:06,667 The "fasten seatbelt" sign has been turned on. 415 00:26:08,511 --> 00:26:11,275 Well, you were no help whatsoever. 416 00:26:11,447 --> 00:26:15,144 How could I help? I'm just a woman with a dusty old uterus. 417 00:26:15,318 --> 00:26:17,616 I never said dusty. 418 00:26:18,254 --> 00:26:20,313 We're close to the drop site. I'll go first. 419 00:26:20,490 --> 00:26:23,516 - Gonna be all right with your cuffs? - No cuffs can contain me. 420 00:26:25,328 --> 00:26:27,319 Excuse me, violent sky marshal. 421 00:26:28,264 --> 00:26:29,492 What do you want? 422 00:26:29,666 --> 00:26:31,133 I have to squeeze the lemon. 423 00:26:31,301 --> 00:26:32,791 MAN: Ugh. 424 00:26:33,269 --> 00:26:34,668 MAX: You heard me. 425 00:26:34,837 --> 00:26:37,032 Squeeze the lemon. 426 00:26:50,153 --> 00:26:53,554 - Do you work out? - Occasionally. 427 00:26:53,723 --> 00:26:55,884 Yeah, I'm big on protein. Protein's great. 428 00:27:06,936 --> 00:27:08,836 [GRO ANING] 429 00:27:09,005 --> 00:27:11,872 I gotta get it out. I gotta get that out! 430 00:27:12,041 --> 00:27:13,668 [MAX GRO ANING] 431 00:27:13,843 --> 00:27:16,744 That's in there, that's in there. 432 00:27:25,521 --> 00:27:27,182 No time for pain. 433 00:27:27,357 --> 00:27:29,052 Over the drop zone. 434 00:27:33,763 --> 00:27:35,094 [YELLS] 435 00:27:35,264 --> 00:27:37,095 Ball sack! 436 00:27:46,576 --> 00:27:48,203 Son of a hamster. 437 00:27:48,378 --> 00:27:50,608 MARSHAL: You all right in there? - Yeah. Yes, I am. 438 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:52,040 Everything's fine. 439 00:27:52,215 --> 00:27:54,274 Mother of pearl! 440 00:28:01,624 --> 00:28:03,182 That burns! 441 00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:04,690 Last chance. 442 00:28:08,264 --> 00:28:11,961 WOMAN [ON RECORDING]: Airlock activated. Three, two, one. 443 00:28:13,269 --> 00:28:15,533 [SCREAMS] 444 00:28:16,539 --> 00:28:18,370 First package away. 445 00:28:25,948 --> 00:28:27,882 Absolutely, I love cats. 446 00:28:28,051 --> 00:28:29,075 - Really? - Yeah. 447 00:28:35,258 --> 00:28:36,725 Damn. 448 00:28:50,306 --> 00:28:52,137 Second package away. 449 00:28:57,346 --> 00:28:59,780 [MAX YELLING] 450 00:29:10,660 --> 00:29:12,594 Oh, good, you heard me. 451 00:29:15,465 --> 00:29:17,330 Third package away. 452 00:29:18,434 --> 00:29:19,458 Third package? 453 00:29:25,708 --> 00:29:27,835 99, Easter Island. 454 00:29:30,413 --> 00:29:31,539 [YELLS] 455 00:29:31,714 --> 00:29:33,272 [FABRIC TEARS] 456 00:29:35,051 --> 00:29:39,886 - I'll be right back! - Where could you possibly be going? 457 00:30:00,543 --> 00:30:02,010 [YELLING] 458 00:30:04,881 --> 00:30:08,112 Okay, never do that again! 459 00:30:08,284 --> 00:30:10,309 AGENT 99: Stop hanging on me! MAX: Never! Stop it! 460 00:30:16,659 --> 00:30:20,322 AGENT 99: Max, I can't reach my reserve! Do something! 461 00:30:26,335 --> 00:30:27,825 [LAUGHS] 462 00:30:28,004 --> 00:30:30,370 That would have definitely worked on me. 463 00:30:30,540 --> 00:30:34,909 Are you crazy? If I can't pull my chute, you'll die too! 464 00:30:55,097 --> 00:30:56,758 MAX: Aim for the haystack. AGENT 99: Stop talking. 465 00:30:56,933 --> 00:30:59,697 - Aim for the haystack, it's softer. - Stop talking! 466 00:31:01,470 --> 00:31:02,869 MAX: You missed it. 467 00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:06,499 [IN RUSSIAN] 468 00:31:31,133 --> 00:31:33,761 MAX: Okay, not to keep dwelling on this... 469 00:31:33,936 --> 00:31:36,268 ...but that was some kiss. 470 00:31:36,439 --> 00:31:37,963 How did you know that would work? 471 00:31:38,140 --> 00:31:40,802 Have you kissed other men who plummeted to their deaths? 472 00:31:40,977 --> 00:31:42,001 Okay, you know what? 473 00:31:42,178 --> 00:31:46,581 So far, our entire partnership has consisted of me getting you out of trouble. 474 00:31:46,749 --> 00:31:49,013 Do you know why? It is because you keep leading. 475 00:31:49,485 --> 00:31:51,646 So here's how we stop that. I lead now. 476 00:31:51,821 --> 00:31:53,948 I'm the one with experience. You know nothing. 477 00:31:54,290 --> 00:31:55,814 I beg to differ. 478 00:31:55,992 --> 00:31:58,688 I looked up your field agent exam, and I scored... 479 00:31:58,861 --> 00:32:00,852 - My what? - Your field agent exam. 480 00:32:01,030 --> 00:32:02,793 I scored eight points higher than you. 481 00:32:02,965 --> 00:32:04,057 This is not a classroom. 482 00:32:04,233 --> 00:32:06,758 That's the difference between an A plus and an A minus. 483 00:32:06,936 --> 00:32:10,667 - You'll get us killed if you don't listen! - A minus! 484 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:14,273 Okay, you're faced with an assassin. What do you do? 485 00:32:14,443 --> 00:32:17,879 - I take out my gun, and I would shoot... - You don't have a gun. 486 00:32:18,047 --> 00:32:19,810 - I did until you took it. - Bang. You're dead. 487 00:32:19,982 --> 00:32:21,210 - No, I'm not. - Bang. You're dead. 488 00:32:21,384 --> 00:32:22,646 - Stop shooting me. - You are dead. 489 00:32:22,818 --> 00:32:24,786 - I don't like it when you shoot me. - Bang. Bang. Bang. 490 00:32:24,954 --> 00:32:26,114 - Stop it. - Bang. Bang. 491 00:32:26,289 --> 00:32:29,452 Stop shooting me more. You already said I was... Hey. 492 00:32:29,959 --> 00:32:31,483 Throw out your manual. 493 00:32:31,661 --> 00:32:35,062 Out here there are no grades, there's only dead, and not dead. 494 00:32:36,165 --> 00:32:40,192 You know, I am not completely incompetent without a gun. 495 00:32:40,369 --> 00:32:43,395 I am a master in the art of Hwa Rang Do. 496 00:32:45,041 --> 00:32:46,565 [GRUNTS] 497 00:32:46,742 --> 00:32:48,869 - I was not ready. - That's my point. 498 00:32:49,045 --> 00:32:50,342 Yeah, you know what? That... 499 00:32:50,513 --> 00:32:52,674 Hey, what was that? 500 00:32:57,753 --> 00:33:01,484 Max is halfway to Moscow. Don't tell me you're still translating that Russian. 501 00:33:01,657 --> 00:33:03,215 They talk fast, it's hard. 502 00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:06,885 BRUCE: It takes like eight of these morons to do what Max did. 503 00:33:07,063 --> 00:33:09,258 I can't wait till we finish the Hymie project. 504 00:33:09,432 --> 00:33:11,457 All these stupid agents will be obsolete. 505 00:33:11,634 --> 00:33:13,124 - Bye-bye. - What's a Hymie? 506 00:33:13,302 --> 00:33:16,396 Hybrid Mechanical Intelligence Entity. Basically a robot. 507 00:33:16,572 --> 00:33:18,506 It's a stolen KAOS technology. 508 00:33:18,674 --> 00:33:21,074 Being reprogrammed. Top-secret. Need-to-know. 509 00:33:21,243 --> 00:33:22,938 And you don't need. 510 00:33:23,346 --> 00:33:26,611 I'm a trained killer. I can kill you with anything in this office. 511 00:33:26,782 --> 00:33:29,751 You wanna die by Post-its? Because I could make that happen. 512 00:33:29,919 --> 00:33:31,614 And that's a slow death. 513 00:33:33,122 --> 00:33:34,453 AGENT 23: Larabee. - Yeah. 514 00:33:34,623 --> 00:33:36,352 - Were you the last one to use the copier? - Yeah. 515 00:33:36,525 --> 00:33:37,685 You left it jammed. 516 00:33:37,860 --> 00:33:40,192 So? Why don't you... 517 00:33:40,563 --> 00:33:41,860 ...unjam it? 518 00:33:42,031 --> 00:33:45,023 - Just open the door, read the instructions. - This your stapler? 519 00:33:45,201 --> 00:33:47,761 - Yeah, want me to show you how to use it? - No. 520 00:33:49,505 --> 00:33:50,529 Unjam that. 521 00:33:50,706 --> 00:33:51,934 - 23. - Yes. 522 00:33:52,108 --> 00:33:54,633 - Can I have a moment, please? - Sure. 523 00:33:55,277 --> 00:33:56,471 Yes, Chief. 524 00:33:56,645 --> 00:33:59,808 Let me tell you about a pattern that's beginning to emerge. 525 00:33:59,982 --> 00:34:02,177 As a former field agent, I'm very much aware... 526 00:34:02,351 --> 00:34:05,445 ...of how difficult it is to make the transition to office life. 527 00:34:05,621 --> 00:34:07,145 He didn't unjam the copier. 528 00:34:07,323 --> 00:34:10,588 We have rules here. If you don't follow the rules, then what are we? 529 00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:14,924 I'll tell you what we're not. We're not people who jam staples into people's heads. 530 00:34:15,097 --> 00:34:16,724 That's CIA crap. 531 00:34:16,899 --> 00:34:19,094 All right, look, Chief, I'm your best guy. 532 00:34:19,268 --> 00:34:22,760 I don't belong in an office making copies. I should be out there with Max. 533 00:34:22,938 --> 00:34:25,372 Look, 23, no more stapling today. 534 00:34:25,541 --> 00:34:26,633 [LARABEE GRO ANING] 535 00:34:26,809 --> 00:34:28,106 Just hold on. 536 00:34:34,450 --> 00:34:36,509 So how do you know this place? 537 00:34:36,685 --> 00:34:38,983 Well, as an analyst, I like to keep my ears open. 538 00:34:39,155 --> 00:34:40,554 It's amazing what you learn... 539 00:34:40,723 --> 00:34:44,523 ...listening to chatter. In fact, Ladislas Krstic loves this place. 540 00:34:44,693 --> 00:34:49,630 As do many KAOS agents. Cafe Minsk-Pinsk in Smolensk. 541 00:34:49,799 --> 00:34:51,994 It doesn't get any better than "thinsk." 542 00:34:53,369 --> 00:34:55,337 You see what I just did? 543 00:34:55,504 --> 00:34:58,132 I added an "insk" at the end, made it sound Russian. 544 00:34:58,307 --> 00:34:59,865 Should've smacked you harder. 545 00:35:00,042 --> 00:35:01,373 Is that your default setting? 546 00:35:01,544 --> 00:35:04,012 Do you just punch people in the face willy-nilly? 547 00:35:04,180 --> 00:35:06,148 "It's Tuesday, I'll punch Max in the face." 548 00:35:06,315 --> 00:35:09,011 "A box of kittens, time to punch Max in the face." 549 00:35:09,185 --> 00:35:11,517 "I'm having bread, time to punch Max in the face." 550 00:35:11,687 --> 00:35:13,211 You know, I love bread... 551 00:35:13,389 --> 00:35:15,721 ...and I know bread has a few carbs, but... 552 00:35:15,891 --> 00:35:17,950 ...I've never really been afraid of carbs... 553 00:35:18,127 --> 00:35:22,564 ...because it seems like no matter how many I eat, I stay "thinsk." 554 00:35:31,173 --> 00:35:33,801 [IN RUSSIAN] 555 00:35:37,813 --> 00:35:40,008 I'm sorry, are you talking to me? 556 00:35:40,182 --> 00:35:41,911 No sprechen Sie Russian. 557 00:35:43,385 --> 00:35:45,819 [URINATING] 558 00:35:46,722 --> 00:35:48,212 [IN RUSSIAN] 559 00:35:51,093 --> 00:35:52,583 [STOPS URINATING] 560 00:35:52,761 --> 00:35:54,626 [URINATING] 561 00:35:56,799 --> 00:35:58,960 [STOPS URINATING] 562 00:35:59,134 --> 00:36:01,193 [URINATING] 563 00:36:02,671 --> 00:36:04,036 [STOPS URINATING] 564 00:36:04,206 --> 00:36:06,174 [URINATING] 565 00:36:11,146 --> 00:36:12,443 [STOPS URINATING] 566 00:36:12,615 --> 00:36:14,845 [URINATING] 567 00:36:17,286 --> 00:36:18,753 [STOPS URINATING] 568 00:36:18,921 --> 00:36:20,320 [URINATING] 569 00:36:24,059 --> 00:36:25,822 [TOILET FLUSHES] 570 00:36:25,995 --> 00:36:28,964 MAX: Boy, you know what? I will tell you, I love your country. 571 00:36:29,131 --> 00:36:32,430 No more Communism. No rules of any kind, really. 572 00:36:32,601 --> 00:36:36,264 I'm filling my suitcase with steroids and art from ancient Mesopotamia. 573 00:36:36,438 --> 00:36:40,067 Ran over an old woman yesterday. Best vacation I've ever had. 574 00:36:40,242 --> 00:36:42,472 [WATCH BEEPING] 575 00:36:43,779 --> 00:36:45,770 Time to take my pill. 576 00:36:52,254 --> 00:36:54,586 There was a guy in the bathroom who's really hot. 577 00:36:56,225 --> 00:36:57,749 Okay... 578 00:36:57,927 --> 00:37:00,054 No, no, no. Radioactive hot. 579 00:37:00,229 --> 00:37:03,494 Although he did have a certain rugged quality that some find appealing. 580 00:37:03,666 --> 00:37:05,634 How did you know he was radioactive? 581 00:37:06,001 --> 00:37:09,493 My watch is a Geiger counter. You don't have one of these? Huh. 582 00:37:09,939 --> 00:37:12,908 Listen, I think he was part of the nuclear theft in Chechnya. 583 00:37:13,075 --> 00:37:14,269 We should follow him. 584 00:37:14,443 --> 00:37:16,070 AGENT 99: I gotta say, Max... 585 00:37:16,812 --> 00:37:18,279 ...you picked a good restaurant. 586 00:37:56,285 --> 00:37:57,377 MAX: Of course. 587 00:37:58,187 --> 00:37:59,620 Tripe soup. 588 00:37:59,788 --> 00:38:02,882 - This must be Ladislas Krstic's house. - What? 589 00:38:03,058 --> 00:38:06,619 Tripe soup is his favorite dish. It was in the mission dossier. 590 00:38:06,795 --> 00:38:08,888 Let's just see what we're up against, okay? 591 00:38:10,666 --> 00:38:13,066 [WRAPPER CRINKLING] 592 00:38:17,473 --> 00:38:19,464 I didn't get to eat at the restaurant. 593 00:38:19,642 --> 00:38:22,839 And if you skip a meal, the next meal you overindulge. 594 00:38:23,012 --> 00:38:25,071 - Well, let me. I've got nails. - It's a recipe for... 595 00:38:25,247 --> 00:38:26,839 [SPLASHES] 596 00:38:27,016 --> 00:38:28,347 You owe me $3. 597 00:38:30,219 --> 00:38:33,382 AGENT 99: More guards. We'll have to figure out a way in. 598 00:38:39,294 --> 00:38:40,318 Miniature blowgun. 599 00:38:40,496 --> 00:38:42,691 You don't have one of these? 600 00:38:42,865 --> 00:38:46,926 These darts are tipped with a tranquilizer derived from the skin of a lizard... 601 00:38:47,102 --> 00:38:49,229 ...known as los zapatos de la muerte. 602 00:38:49,405 --> 00:38:50,497 "The shoes of death." 603 00:38:51,407 --> 00:38:52,704 Excuse me. 604 00:38:53,242 --> 00:38:56,439 They're 40 yards out, that's definitely the edge of my range. 605 00:38:56,612 --> 00:39:00,275 I'm going to have to give this one a little something extra. 606 00:39:00,449 --> 00:39:01,973 [BREATHING DEEPLY] 607 00:39:02,151 --> 00:39:03,641 [CHOKES] 608 00:39:04,420 --> 00:39:06,149 [THUDS] 609 00:39:15,998 --> 00:39:17,522 Wow. 610 00:39:17,700 --> 00:39:19,258 You look spectacular. 611 00:39:19,435 --> 00:39:20,561 Thanks. 612 00:39:20,869 --> 00:39:22,700 You don't look too bad yourself. 613 00:39:23,972 --> 00:39:25,234 Is that a wig? 614 00:39:25,407 --> 00:39:26,931 Yeah, it came with the dress. 615 00:39:27,609 --> 00:39:31,636 - How did I get into these clothes? - That's not important. Let's go. 616 00:39:34,917 --> 00:39:36,214 Am I wearing boxers? 617 00:39:39,254 --> 00:39:42,485 For future reference, I usually prefer briefs... 618 00:39:42,658 --> 00:39:45,092 ...for their security and peace of mind. 619 00:39:45,260 --> 00:39:47,592 Going free-bird is not exactly ideal. 620 00:39:47,930 --> 00:39:49,591 I don't like it. 621 00:40:01,543 --> 00:40:03,135 [BAND PLAYING WALTZ] 622 00:40:05,481 --> 00:40:07,415 There must be 200 people here. 623 00:40:07,583 --> 00:40:10,677 Finding Krstic will be like finding a needle in a haystack. 624 00:40:11,153 --> 00:40:14,054 [IN RUSSIAN] 625 00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:19,421 [SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN] 626 00:40:19,595 --> 00:40:20,857 I'd love to dance. 627 00:40:21,029 --> 00:40:24,988 English? But you understand Russian? Very impressive. 628 00:40:25,667 --> 00:40:27,259 Shall we? 629 00:40:28,103 --> 00:40:29,798 I hope your date doesn't mind. 630 00:40:29,972 --> 00:40:31,872 AGENT 99: Oh, he's not my date. 631 00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:35,203 He's just a local horse groomer I hired to drive me around. 632 00:40:35,377 --> 00:40:39,370 It's a tragic story. He's quite deaf. Really not bright. 633 00:40:40,315 --> 00:40:43,876 I am going to dance now. 634 00:40:44,186 --> 00:40:48,122 You go get yourself some punch. 635 00:40:49,358 --> 00:40:50,791 Okay. 636 00:40:52,027 --> 00:40:54,495 I don't even know how much gets through. 637 00:41:03,372 --> 00:41:04,862 Chief, I need your help. 638 00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:06,371 You're on. Go ahead. 639 00:41:06,542 --> 00:41:07,668 MAX: We have found Krstic. 640 00:41:07,843 --> 00:41:10,403 I searched his house. I can't find his computer network. 641 00:41:10,579 --> 00:41:10,979 Get me an infrared satellite scan. 642 00:41:10,979 --> 00:41:12,207 Get me an infrared satellite scan. 643 00:41:12,381 --> 00:41:15,475 I have to get back to 99, she is in grave danger. 644 00:41:18,754 --> 00:41:20,654 Your house is so beautiful. 645 00:41:20,989 --> 00:41:23,389 It must be difficult to go to work. 646 00:41:24,393 --> 00:41:26,827 I don't have to go very far. 647 00:41:58,193 --> 00:41:59,990 [CLEARS THRO AT] 648 00:42:00,162 --> 00:42:02,323 [IN RUSSIAN] 649 00:42:02,497 --> 00:42:04,226 I don't think so. 650 00:42:04,566 --> 00:42:06,124 I wasn't talking to you. 651 00:42:10,405 --> 00:42:11,429 Me? 652 00:42:11,607 --> 00:42:13,040 [SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN] 653 00:42:13,208 --> 00:42:14,368 I don't know. 654 00:42:14,543 --> 00:42:16,101 It'll be fun. 655 00:42:16,511 --> 00:42:17,535 Trust me. 656 00:42:26,154 --> 00:42:27,985 [WOMEN LAUGHING] 657 00:43:09,364 --> 00:43:11,161 You are so light on your feet. 658 00:43:11,333 --> 00:43:12,766 I recently lost 150 pounds. 659 00:43:13,101 --> 00:43:14,898 So did I. 660 00:43:15,070 --> 00:43:17,300 Isn't it great? I have so much more energy now. 661 00:43:17,472 --> 00:43:18,939 Me too. 662 00:44:25,674 --> 00:44:27,869 - Thanks for jumping. - No problem. 663 00:44:51,733 --> 00:44:53,758 Thank you for the lovely dance. 664 00:45:15,524 --> 00:45:17,389 Did you see anything while I was dancing? 665 00:45:17,559 --> 00:45:20,926 Just once, but I don't think you expected him to lift you so high. 666 00:45:22,297 --> 00:45:25,323 Anyway, I found out that the office is in the guest house. 667 00:45:25,500 --> 00:45:27,092 Really? How'd you do that? 668 00:45:27,269 --> 00:45:29,931 Show him a little decolletage, cleavage, bat your eyes? 669 00:45:30,105 --> 00:45:32,096 I'm not judging, just detecting a pattern. 670 00:45:32,274 --> 00:45:34,640 - Ready to work? - I'm ready to work. You ready? 671 00:45:34,810 --> 00:45:36,744 - Oh, my God. - You're just having fun showing your: 672 00:45:36,912 --> 00:45:37,913 [GRUNTING] 673 00:45:45,253 --> 00:45:47,517 Six guards. We are going to need another way in. 674 00:45:47,689 --> 00:45:49,850 Stand by, Max. Larabee, let's go. Move it. 675 00:45:50,292 --> 00:45:52,419 - What'd you do? - I can't find the right screen. 676 00:45:52,594 --> 00:45:54,789 It was here a second ago, then it went away. 677 00:45:54,963 --> 00:45:57,625 - What did you hit? - Don't yell at me. It's not helping! 678 00:45:57,799 --> 00:45:59,266 If you don't find that screen... 679 00:45:59,434 --> 00:46:02,369 ...I'm gonna have you hunting for land mines, with a hammer! 680 00:46:05,373 --> 00:46:07,364 AGENT 23: Got it, Max. There is one other entrance. 681 00:46:07,542 --> 00:46:08,600 What kind of entrance? 682 00:46:08,777 --> 00:46:11,678 The kind where you'll wanna throw your shoes out afterwards. 683 00:46:12,347 --> 00:46:16,340 MAX: Oh, great, rats. It's not enough that there's poop. 684 00:46:16,518 --> 00:46:21,455 You know what, I never saw James Bond in rats or poop, let alone rats and poop. 685 00:46:22,324 --> 00:46:25,225 Look, a rat riding on a piece of poop. 686 00:46:25,393 --> 00:46:28,123 AGENT 99: Stop it. It's just a storm drain. 687 00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:33,833 Here it is. 688 00:46:45,213 --> 00:46:48,842 Exploding dental floss. You don't have this? Hm. 689 00:46:58,426 --> 00:47:00,326 Three, two... 690 00:47:00,996 --> 00:47:02,020 ...one. 691 00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:26,547 Right. 692 00:47:32,394 --> 00:47:33,554 Come on. 693 00:47:50,712 --> 00:47:52,077 Are you staring at my butt? 694 00:47:52,948 --> 00:47:54,745 No, I am not. 695 00:47:54,916 --> 00:47:57,248 I might have been before, but I am... 696 00:47:57,419 --> 00:48:00,149 Now I am again. All right, I'm stopping. 697 00:48:00,322 --> 00:48:03,382 Pay attention to what I'm doing, so that you can follow me exactly. 698 00:48:03,792 --> 00:48:05,054 Yep. 699 00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:27,744 Okay, Max. Little heads-up. 700 00:48:27,916 --> 00:48:30,976 High-intensity lasers. Whatever part of you does touch gets sliced. 701 00:48:31,152 --> 00:48:34,315 One more reason why boxers were a bad idea. 702 00:48:46,601 --> 00:48:49,001 All right, so do I have to do it exactly like that? 703 00:48:49,170 --> 00:48:50,364 Just come on. 704 00:49:04,085 --> 00:49:06,485 That's impressive. Wow. 705 00:49:08,790 --> 00:49:10,485 Careful, this one's tricky. 706 00:49:10,659 --> 00:49:12,126 Good. 707 00:49:12,294 --> 00:49:13,318 Very good. 708 00:49:15,530 --> 00:49:16,690 Okay, it's not that good. 709 00:49:22,170 --> 00:49:23,364 [GASPS] 710 00:49:36,384 --> 00:49:37,578 Max. Max. 711 00:49:37,819 --> 00:49:39,081 Stay calm. 712 00:49:40,989 --> 00:49:43,685 Max, keep it together. Keep it together. 713 00:49:44,726 --> 00:49:46,250 Max. Max. 714 00:49:47,829 --> 00:49:49,421 Careful! No, no. 715 00:49:49,597 --> 00:49:51,497 He's nibbling. That's not cheese! 716 00:49:51,666 --> 00:49:53,133 [MAX GRO ANING] 717 00:49:53,301 --> 00:49:54,529 Max, be quiet! 718 00:50:02,844 --> 00:50:04,835 Okay, shall we? 719 00:50:38,246 --> 00:50:40,373 [BEADS RATTLING] 720 00:50:43,284 --> 00:50:44,774 Did I hear something? 721 00:50:44,953 --> 00:50:48,223 Yes, there were some tap dancers in the hallway. 722 00:50:50,558 --> 00:50:53,652 Damn it. I can't get into their system. Biometric security. 723 00:50:53,828 --> 00:50:55,591 If you don't mind, 99... 724 00:51:00,802 --> 00:51:04,898 The old "steam sticks to everything but the oil from the last thumb print" trick. 725 00:51:05,073 --> 00:51:06,097 Here we go. 726 00:51:06,341 --> 00:51:09,572 - Shipments of explosives. - Your boyfriend is a very bad man. 727 00:51:09,744 --> 00:51:12,907 - And a really good kisser. - Ignoring that. 728 00:51:16,017 --> 00:51:18,747 Look at that shipment of detonators. It's a little odd. 729 00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:20,820 Well, he is a bomb-maker. 730 00:51:20,989 --> 00:51:24,186 No. What is odd is that it was shipped to a bakery in Moscow. 731 00:51:24,359 --> 00:51:26,919 These detonators can also be used for nuclear bombs. 732 00:51:27,095 --> 00:51:28,926 I think this is our connection to KAOS. 733 00:51:29,097 --> 00:51:30,621 [CREAKS] 734 00:51:42,010 --> 00:51:43,534 I set that up. 735 00:51:54,355 --> 00:51:55,617 Let her go. 736 00:51:56,057 --> 00:51:57,456 No. 737 00:51:57,625 --> 00:51:59,320 [SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN] 738 00:52:01,463 --> 00:52:04,955 I'm not totally incompetent without a gun, you know. 739 00:52:29,691 --> 00:52:30,817 AGENT 99: Thanks for the help. 740 00:52:31,860 --> 00:52:34,385 KRSTIC: That's enough. Pity. 741 00:52:35,029 --> 00:52:39,227 I'm about to shoot beautiful woman and her retard stable boy. 742 00:52:39,434 --> 00:52:40,458 And yet... 743 00:52:41,336 --> 00:52:43,531 ...I will sleep like baby. 744 00:52:49,511 --> 00:52:52,036 - Not bad for a rookie. - Not bad for an old lady. 745 00:52:56,117 --> 00:52:59,416 [PLAYING BEETHO VEN'S "ODE TO JO Y"] 746 00:53:01,322 --> 00:53:02,550 [PHONE RINGS] 747 00:53:02,724 --> 00:53:03,884 SIEGFRIED: Siegfried here. 748 00:53:04,058 --> 00:53:06,185 MAN [O VER PHONE]: How could you possibly screw this up? 749 00:53:06,361 --> 00:53:07,851 Krstic was a fool. 750 00:53:08,029 --> 00:53:09,030 - And they got lucky. - Who's that? Who's speaking? 751 00:53:09,030 --> 00:53:09,531 - And they got lucky. - Who's that? Who's speaking? 752 00:53:09,531 --> 00:53:10,759 - And they got lucky. - Who's that? Who's speaking? 753 00:53:10,932 --> 00:53:12,058 That's no one, sir. 754 00:53:12,233 --> 00:53:15,031 They're heading towards you. Don't disappoint me again. 755 00:53:15,203 --> 00:53:16,693 Don't worry, sir. They won't get pa... 756 00:53:16,871 --> 00:53:18,270 [DIAL TONE HUMS] 757 00:53:18,439 --> 00:53:19,531 Why does he do that? 758 00:53:19,707 --> 00:53:21,572 Don't look at me. I'm no one. 759 00:53:21,743 --> 00:53:23,233 And don't you forget it. 760 00:53:23,545 --> 00:53:25,775 Everyone here can be replaced. 761 00:53:25,947 --> 00:53:27,608 I even have backup for you. 762 00:53:27,782 --> 00:53:29,773 It's called a rhinoceros. 763 00:53:55,610 --> 00:53:58,408 I think it's time to find new wheels. Pull over. 764 00:54:04,452 --> 00:54:06,818 I feel good about the mission so far, don't you? 765 00:54:06,988 --> 00:54:08,250 So far, sure. 766 00:54:08,423 --> 00:54:10,323 I think we work very well together. 767 00:54:10,491 --> 00:54:11,822 Like at the mansion. 768 00:54:11,993 --> 00:54:16,123 The way I held that guy's hair while you punched him in the throat. 769 00:54:16,297 --> 00:54:18,162 That was nice. 770 00:54:18,833 --> 00:54:19,857 Nice? 771 00:54:20,034 --> 00:54:21,695 Yeah, well, good teamwork. 772 00:54:21,869 --> 00:54:23,336 What are you doing? 773 00:54:23,504 --> 00:54:26,029 I'm just saying that I think we're very compatible. 774 00:54:26,207 --> 00:54:29,643 I think that you are confusing adrenaline with, I don't know... 775 00:54:29,811 --> 00:54:31,369 ...some other kind of hormone. 776 00:54:31,546 --> 00:54:33,946 - No. That's not... - Know what, Max? Just stop it. 777 00:54:35,116 --> 00:54:37,846 Let me give you a lesson that I had to learn the hard way. 778 00:54:38,019 --> 00:54:40,180 You can't trust anyone out here, not even me. 779 00:54:40,355 --> 00:54:43,051 I mean, you know, I could be a double agent. 780 00:54:43,625 --> 00:54:45,957 The break-in at CONTROL was probably an inside job. 781 00:54:46,127 --> 00:54:49,187 It happened just as I got back. How do you know that it wasn't me? 782 00:54:50,164 --> 00:54:52,724 - What are we talking about here? - Let's just find a car. 783 00:54:52,900 --> 00:54:55,562 Which one's gonna attract the least attention? 784 00:54:56,070 --> 00:54:59,665 All right, well, we have a couple Soviet-era sedans here... 785 00:54:59,841 --> 00:55:03,242 ...we have that tractor, that cart... 786 00:55:04,045 --> 00:55:06,240 ...and... That'll work. 787 00:55:07,248 --> 00:55:10,115 - No. - Yes. 788 00:55:10,284 --> 00:55:11,683 No. 789 00:55:12,020 --> 00:55:13,214 Yes. 790 00:55:16,858 --> 00:55:19,850 - Oh, yeah, we are really under the radar. - Will you relax? 791 00:55:20,028 --> 00:55:22,895 Since the fall of Communism, everybody has one of these here. 792 00:55:26,167 --> 00:55:27,828 [IN RUSSIAN] 793 00:55:28,002 --> 00:55:29,299 [SHUTTER CLICKS] 794 00:55:50,324 --> 00:55:52,087 AGENT 99: There's our little KAOS bakery. 795 00:55:52,260 --> 00:55:55,388 I don't have to remind you, but this isn't like the last place. 796 00:55:55,563 --> 00:55:59,090 There's no party, there's no dancing. Everyone in there is a trained killer. 797 00:55:59,267 --> 00:56:01,132 Do you understand? Okay. 798 00:56:01,302 --> 00:56:03,770 Did they explain to you how your belt buckle works? 799 00:56:03,938 --> 00:56:06,964 No, but the technology for holding up pants hasn't changed much. 800 00:56:07,141 --> 00:56:09,109 - Max. - Hey, what? 801 00:56:09,577 --> 00:56:12,375 This one has a compartment. Inside there's a pill. 802 00:56:12,547 --> 00:56:15,607 If captured, it would cause death in nine seconds. 803 00:56:15,783 --> 00:56:16,807 Great. 804 00:56:17,351 --> 00:56:20,320 But how exactly do I get them to take it? 805 00:56:22,457 --> 00:56:26,359 - Not much of a laugher, are you? - Here. Put this on. 806 00:56:26,527 --> 00:56:27,926 - On what? - On your molar. 807 00:56:28,096 --> 00:56:31,224 It's a tooth radio. It sends sound up your jawbone, into your ear. 808 00:56:31,399 --> 00:56:35,563 I can't hear anything outside your mouth, so if you get in trouble, you have to say so. 809 00:56:35,737 --> 00:56:36,726 Is it working? 810 00:56:36,904 --> 00:56:38,872 [FEEDBACK SQUEALS] 811 00:56:40,208 --> 00:56:42,073 - [WHISPERS] Is it working? - Yes. 812 00:56:42,243 --> 00:56:43,471 Good. 813 00:56:43,644 --> 00:56:44,668 Okay. 814 00:56:44,846 --> 00:56:47,542 Well, you know what to do. Good luck in there. 815 00:56:47,715 --> 00:56:49,376 You too. 816 00:57:12,340 --> 00:57:13,967 [BELL RINGS] 817 00:57:17,545 --> 00:57:19,376 Free rugelach? 818 00:57:19,547 --> 00:57:22,311 No, thank you. I am here for something else. 819 00:57:22,650 --> 00:57:23,947 Bread? 820 00:57:24,118 --> 00:57:28,054 - Something hot. - We have rolls that just came out. 821 00:57:28,222 --> 00:57:30,850 Even hotter. Much, much hotter. 822 00:57:31,192 --> 00:57:33,353 I already have boyfriend. 823 00:57:34,162 --> 00:57:36,756 - All right... - Although, I could make exception. 824 00:57:36,931 --> 00:57:37,955 No, that's okay. 825 00:57:38,132 --> 00:57:41,329 Sure? Flour sacks in back, very comfortable. 826 00:57:41,502 --> 00:57:44,994 I don't think we are on the same page. 827 00:57:45,339 --> 00:57:49,298 I'm here because Ladislas Krstic sent me. 828 00:57:49,477 --> 00:57:52,139 Ah. Take number. 829 00:57:53,447 --> 00:57:55,516 But I'm the only one here. 830 00:58:00,221 --> 00:58:01,848 Oh. 831 00:58:31,452 --> 00:58:32,749 Who are you? 832 00:58:32,920 --> 00:58:35,616 My name is Nudnik Shpilkes. Who are you? 833 00:58:35,790 --> 00:58:38,384 - I am Siegfried. - [LOUDLY] Did you say Siegfried? 834 00:58:38,559 --> 00:58:39,548 [FEEDBACK SQUEALS] 835 00:58:39,727 --> 00:58:40,716 Max! 836 00:58:40,962 --> 00:58:41,986 Yes. 837 00:58:42,163 --> 00:58:44,063 I understand that you're the man to see... 838 00:58:44,232 --> 00:58:47,292 ...if someone is interested in acquiring items of a nuclear nature. 839 00:58:47,468 --> 00:58:51,029 - How do I know you're not CONTROL? - Lf I were CONTROL, you'd already be dead. 840 00:58:51,205 --> 00:58:53,139 If you were CONTROL, you'd be dead. 841 00:58:53,307 --> 00:58:57,266 Well, neither of us is dead, so I'm obviously not from CONTROL. 842 00:59:01,007 --> 00:59:02,998 That actually makes sense. 843 00:59:04,343 --> 00:59:07,403 Follow me, Mr. Shpilkes. 844 00:59:13,619 --> 00:59:15,644 Test. Test. 845 00:59:18,858 --> 00:59:21,656 MAX: Ah. The "Ode to Joy" from Beethoven's Ninth. 846 00:59:21,828 --> 00:59:25,821 Stone deaf when he wrote it. Syphilis. Fun stuff. 847 00:59:26,465 --> 00:59:30,993 Yes, a personal favorite. A bit familiar, but it ends with a bang. 848 00:59:32,338 --> 00:59:33,828 You're doing great, Max. 849 00:59:34,040 --> 00:59:38,067 What I'm about to show you is the inner sanctum of our entire operation. 850 00:59:38,244 --> 00:59:40,769 [LOUDLY] The inner sanctum of the entire operation? 851 00:59:40,947 --> 00:59:42,938 [FEEDBACK SQUEALS] 852 00:59:44,650 --> 00:59:45,708 Yes. 853 00:59:54,594 --> 00:59:56,061 This is it? 854 00:59:56,229 --> 00:59:57,662 Of course not. I lied. 855 00:59:57,830 --> 00:59:59,127 He does that. 856 00:59:59,298 --> 01:00:02,267 I'm going to kill you, and then I'm going to kill your partner. 857 01:00:02,435 --> 01:00:04,198 I don't know who you're talking about. 858 01:00:09,408 --> 01:00:13,003 MAX: Ah. Mrs. Shpilkes must be lost. 859 01:00:13,179 --> 01:00:16,444 I think it's only fair to warn you, this facility is surrounded... 860 01:00:16,616 --> 01:00:19,517 ...by a highly trained team of 130 Black Op snipers. 861 01:00:19,685 --> 01:00:21,653 - I don't believe you. - Would you believe... 862 01:00:21,821 --> 01:00:23,812 ...two dozen Delta Force commandos? 863 01:00:23,990 --> 01:00:26,515 - No. - How about Chuck Norris with a BB gun? 864 01:00:27,093 --> 01:00:28,526 Goodbye, Mr. Smart. 865 01:00:29,929 --> 01:00:31,021 [DOOR SLAMS] 866 01:00:31,197 --> 01:00:34,894 Well, Mr. Shtarker, I think you've underestimated me... 867 01:00:35,067 --> 01:00:37,058 ...and the element of surpr...! 868 01:00:47,146 --> 01:00:49,876 99, we've been compromised. Get out. 869 01:01:09,769 --> 01:01:11,464 COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Access denied. 870 01:01:13,739 --> 01:01:15,900 [GRUNTING] 871 01:01:23,883 --> 01:01:26,511 [MAX GRUNTING] 872 01:01:34,961 --> 01:01:36,792 [GRUNTING] 873 01:01:41,300 --> 01:01:43,825 Access denied. Access denied. 874 01:01:44,003 --> 01:01:46,471 Access denied. 875 01:01:59,518 --> 01:02:00,542 AGENT 99: Max, where are you? 876 01:02:00,720 --> 01:02:02,950 99, I found the yellowcake. 877 01:02:03,122 --> 01:02:04,783 Of course you did, it's a bakery. 878 01:02:04,957 --> 01:02:07,619 No, not yellow "cake" cake, yellowcake uranium. 879 01:02:07,793 --> 01:02:12,287 Although there is yellow "cake" cake here as well. 880 01:02:13,132 --> 01:02:14,394 Oh, Max. 881 01:02:42,128 --> 01:02:43,755 Max, do you read...? 882 01:02:43,929 --> 01:02:45,191 99! 883 01:02:45,364 --> 01:02:47,195 What happened to your radio? 884 01:02:47,366 --> 01:02:50,358 I swallowed it. I can get it back, but you may not want it. 885 01:02:50,536 --> 01:02:52,338 - Good Lord. - Listen... 886 01:02:52,538 --> 01:02:52,838 ...I've placed charges at points all over the building. 887 01:02:52,838 --> 01:02:55,068 ...I've placed charges at points all over the building. 888 01:02:55,241 --> 01:02:58,938 What? Max, you can't blow up a building full of radioactive material! 889 01:02:59,111 --> 01:03:03,013 I know that, 99. I've placed only enough charges to safely bury the weapons lab. 890 01:03:04,050 --> 01:03:05,244 Max, that's brilliant. 891 01:03:05,418 --> 01:03:09,218 Wow. That's maybe the nicest thing you've ever said to me. 892 01:03:09,722 --> 01:03:11,349 [GUNFIRE] 893 01:03:14,860 --> 01:03:16,691 [BEEPING] 894 01:03:31,977 --> 01:03:34,605 [GRO ANING] 895 01:03:37,616 --> 01:03:41,552 - I don't get it, I thought he was dead! - I will say this, he is not a quitter. 896 01:03:58,037 --> 01:04:00,539 This is just ridiculous! 897 01:04:06,779 --> 01:04:07,803 99! 898 01:04:07,980 --> 01:04:09,106 Wake up, 99. 899 01:04:09,281 --> 01:04:11,442 Maybe you should kiss him again. 900 01:04:12,952 --> 01:04:14,214 [IN PUNJABl] 901 01:04:14,386 --> 01:04:17,685 Wait, I know that voice. The chatter! Dalip. 902 01:04:17,890 --> 01:04:19,585 [IN PUNJABl] 903 01:04:21,026 --> 01:04:23,153 [YELLS] 904 01:04:25,464 --> 01:04:26,658 Ow! That was me! 905 01:04:30,569 --> 01:04:32,571 - Max? - I'm... Yep, still fighting. 906 01:04:51,690 --> 01:04:56,150 Now, Dalip, I can prove that I know you. Your favorite dish is chicken tikka! 907 01:04:56,929 --> 01:04:59,955 Like me, you enjoy American Top 40 with Ryan Seacrest. 908 01:05:12,444 --> 01:05:14,002 [GRO ANS] 909 01:05:14,180 --> 01:05:15,114 Ow. 910 01:05:15,114 --> 01:05:15,614 Ow. 911 01:05:15,614 --> 01:05:15,909 Ow. 912 01:05:25,658 --> 01:05:28,821 Wait, wait, Dalip, there's something else that I know. 913 01:05:28,994 --> 01:05:30,154 Max. Max. 914 01:05:30,329 --> 01:05:34,060 Your marriage is in trouble. Your darling wife, Zeenat, is leaving you. 915 01:05:34,667 --> 01:05:36,862 But there is still hope. 916 01:05:37,036 --> 01:05:38,503 Do you love her? 917 01:05:43,742 --> 01:05:47,576 - Wha...? - Then show her. Go home for lunch. 918 01:05:47,746 --> 01:05:50,306 Take her with you the next time you go to kill someone. 919 01:05:50,716 --> 01:05:52,308 She just wants to be with you... 920 01:05:52,484 --> 01:05:54,748 ...and that means less time with her sister... 921 01:05:54,920 --> 01:05:57,616 ...who we both know is undermining your relationship. 922 01:05:58,457 --> 01:06:00,891 Kick the gun to me. 923 01:06:01,060 --> 01:06:02,618 99, please. 924 01:06:03,362 --> 01:06:04,920 Big people feel pain too. 925 01:06:17,076 --> 01:06:18,407 What are you doing? 926 01:06:19,211 --> 01:06:21,611 Oh, no. Oh, no. 927 01:06:21,780 --> 01:06:23,407 Max! 928 01:06:25,784 --> 01:06:30,414 Okay. Okay. That's all right. That's okay. 929 01:06:30,589 --> 01:06:32,352 [DALIP SOBBING] 930 01:06:32,524 --> 01:06:35,687 Her sister's such a bitch. 931 01:06:43,235 --> 01:06:45,533 - You all right? - Yeah. That was amazing. 932 01:06:46,839 --> 01:06:48,204 Thank you. 933 01:06:50,309 --> 01:06:51,833 We gotta go. 934 01:07:00,386 --> 01:07:01,410 99. 935 01:07:08,260 --> 01:07:10,956 - What was that? - I cramped up. 936 01:07:13,465 --> 01:07:14,955 Come on. Come here. 937 01:07:15,334 --> 01:07:16,995 Good idea. 938 01:07:17,169 --> 01:07:20,900 We will climb up with you, and we'll all go... together. 939 01:07:25,311 --> 01:07:27,245 [IN RUSSIAN] 940 01:07:30,883 --> 01:07:32,214 MAX: He left us here. 941 01:07:32,551 --> 01:07:34,178 What a douche. 942 01:07:51,904 --> 01:07:54,805 Missed it by that much. 943 01:07:58,610 --> 01:08:01,545 Well, that's convenient. Shoot them. 944 01:08:10,055 --> 01:08:12,353 Whatever you do, 99, don't look down! 945 01:08:12,524 --> 01:08:16,153 I'm gonna try to get us over to that ledge! We can do this, 99! 946 01:08:17,496 --> 01:08:18,554 Max. 947 01:08:19,198 --> 01:08:20,222 Right. 948 01:08:25,070 --> 01:08:26,298 AGENT 99: Thanks, Chief. 949 01:08:26,905 --> 01:08:28,429 Okay, no problem. 950 01:08:28,607 --> 01:08:31,440 The Chief is thrilled. He sent 23 out to observe the cleanup. 951 01:08:31,610 --> 01:08:32,634 Great. 952 01:08:33,846 --> 01:08:38,112 Listen, is it possible that you could answer a personal question? 953 01:08:38,283 --> 01:08:40,114 It's possible. 954 01:08:40,953 --> 01:08:43,046 Why did you change your looks? 955 01:08:44,189 --> 01:08:47,818 Oh. Um... That's not really a personal question. 956 01:08:48,127 --> 01:08:51,619 Things from my non-work sphere spilled into my work sphere. 957 01:08:51,797 --> 01:08:55,733 Facts became known, identities were compromised, and I became a brunette. 958 01:08:55,901 --> 01:08:58,961 Wow. That is a great story... 959 01:08:59,138 --> 01:09:02,539 ...in which you revealed absolutely nothing about yourself. 960 01:09:07,980 --> 01:09:09,607 I blew a mission. 961 01:09:11,383 --> 01:09:16,047 I was involved with someone from work. I lost focus. The mission blew up. 962 01:09:16,221 --> 01:09:20,681 I broke it off with that person, but my identity had already been revealed. 963 01:09:20,859 --> 01:09:22,417 So I had two choices. 964 01:09:22,594 --> 01:09:25,290 I could either spend the rest of my life behind a desk... 965 01:09:26,165 --> 01:09:28,133 ...which would be like eight hours a day... 966 01:09:28,300 --> 01:09:30,996 ...of scraping a cheese grater against my forehead. 967 01:09:31,170 --> 01:09:33,001 - Oh, you know. - Yes. 968 01:09:33,172 --> 01:09:35,800 Or I could change my face, so that's what I did. 969 01:09:38,644 --> 01:09:43,308 And it was painful, but it needed to be done, and s... 970 01:09:47,753 --> 01:09:51,052 - I don't wanna talk about this anymore. - Okay. 971 01:09:54,526 --> 01:09:56,790 I used to look like my mom. 972 01:10:02,167 --> 01:10:05,159 I used to look like two of my moms put together. 973 01:10:43,408 --> 01:10:46,241 Sir, if I may ask... 974 01:10:46,411 --> 01:10:48,572 ...how did you choose the target? 975 01:10:48,747 --> 01:10:51,113 - Why Los Angeles? - Major city... 976 01:10:51,283 --> 01:10:53,148 ...Iots of media attention... 977 01:10:53,552 --> 01:10:55,213 ...and the president will be there. 978 01:10:55,721 --> 01:10:58,986 Still, it's too bad about all the dead movie stars. 979 01:10:59,157 --> 01:11:00,454 Yes. 980 01:11:00,626 --> 01:11:04,995 What will we do without their razor-sharp political advice? 981 01:11:09,501 --> 01:11:12,595 Oh, my God, have you eaten the crew? 982 01:11:13,105 --> 01:11:15,665 Oh, look, it understands. 983 01:11:15,841 --> 01:11:17,502 Get back to work. 984 01:11:33,759 --> 01:11:37,923 AGENT 99: No, that's not possible. No, no, no. Max said that... 985 01:11:40,365 --> 01:11:41,525 No. 986 01:11:45,270 --> 01:11:47,204 That doesn't make any sense. 987 01:11:48,974 --> 01:11:51,909 Yellowcake uranium, warheads, an entire production line. 988 01:11:52,077 --> 01:11:55,046 There's nothing here but what used to be a bakery. 989 01:11:55,213 --> 01:11:57,773 There are no weapons? No radioactivity of any kind? 990 01:11:57,950 --> 01:12:00,714 Nothing. I've swept the entire area, and it's clean. 991 01:12:00,886 --> 01:12:04,083 - But Max said that he s... - Did you see the evidence yourself? 992 01:12:04,590 --> 01:12:05,921 No. 993 01:12:06,325 --> 01:12:09,123 No, every time he found something, he was alone. 994 01:12:15,334 --> 01:12:17,131 What do you want me to do with Max? 995 01:12:17,302 --> 01:12:18,792 - Do with Max? - Max? 996 01:12:21,406 --> 01:12:23,897 You were right when you said I shouldn't trust you. 997 01:12:25,744 --> 01:12:26,938 Give me the phone. 998 01:12:31,249 --> 01:12:33,717 And who might this be? Siegfried? 999 01:12:33,885 --> 01:12:35,045 Hello, Max. 1000 01:12:35,220 --> 01:12:36,244 Chief? 1001 01:12:38,690 --> 01:12:40,453 Knockout gas, 99? 1002 01:12:40,626 --> 01:12:43,993 Please. I have trained my body to be impervious to... 1003 01:12:44,162 --> 01:12:45,493 That's new stuff. 1004 01:12:48,433 --> 01:12:49,957 Oh, Max. 1005 01:12:57,376 --> 01:12:59,401 CHIEF: I'm very disappointed, Max. 1006 01:12:59,578 --> 01:13:02,479 I thought you and I were supposedly cut from the same cloth. 1007 01:13:02,648 --> 01:13:04,843 How can you think that I am a double agent? 1008 01:13:05,017 --> 01:13:07,485 You lied about finding evidence of radioactivity. 1009 01:13:07,653 --> 01:13:09,951 Killed Krstic before anybody could question him. 1010 01:13:10,122 --> 01:13:13,319 There's a matter of your stoving my head in with a fire extinguisher. 1011 01:13:13,492 --> 01:13:17,429 I said I was sorry. You just didn't hear me, because you were in a mini coma. 1012 01:13:17,429 --> 01:13:17,793 I said I was sorry. You just didn't hear me, because you were in a mini coma. 1013 01:13:17,963 --> 01:13:19,658 You've made CONTROL a laughingstock. 1014 01:13:19,831 --> 01:13:22,629 The vice president wants to shut us down, you know. 1015 01:13:25,404 --> 01:13:26,428 99. 1016 01:13:27,139 --> 01:13:28,731 This whole week... 1017 01:13:29,374 --> 01:13:30,636 ...last night... 1018 01:13:31,576 --> 01:13:32,770 ...you know me. 1019 01:13:32,944 --> 01:13:34,377 Apparently not. 1020 01:13:35,180 --> 01:13:36,374 Oh, my God! 1021 01:13:36,548 --> 01:13:38,641 You two? You and Max? 1022 01:13:38,817 --> 01:13:41,513 You said we had to break up because we work together. 1023 01:13:41,687 --> 01:13:42,881 Oh, my God! You and 23? 1024 01:13:43,488 --> 01:13:45,956 I am so sexually threatened right now. 1025 01:13:49,861 --> 01:13:51,260 [LINE RINGING] 1026 01:13:51,430 --> 01:13:52,920 MAN [ON RECORDING]: You have reached... 1027 01:13:53,098 --> 01:13:54,963 ... the United States Department of Homeland Security. 1028 01:13:55,133 --> 01:13:57,601 For threats against the continental United States, press 1. 1029 01:13:57,769 --> 01:14:00,533 For threats against Hawaii, press 2. For threats against Puerto Rico... 1030 01:14:00,706 --> 01:14:02,037 [SHTARKER BREATHING NOISILY] 1031 01:14:02,207 --> 01:14:05,643 You know, you're the only human being I know who snores when he's awake? 1032 01:14:05,811 --> 01:14:07,438 If you're calling from a rotary... 1033 01:14:07,612 --> 01:14:10,206 Okay, today's threat assessment. 1034 01:14:10,382 --> 01:14:14,876 - There are 72 threats on the list. Mike? - Thank you, Mr. Vice President. 1035 01:14:15,053 --> 01:14:18,318 Okay, we have a deteriorating situation in Venezuela. 1036 01:14:18,490 --> 01:14:21,050 We have a deteriorating situation in Afghanistan. 1037 01:14:21,226 --> 01:14:23,922 What about the deteriorating situation in North Korea? 1038 01:14:24,096 --> 01:14:25,961 - I was getting to that. - When? Next week? 1039 01:14:26,131 --> 01:14:28,463 Yes, next Tuesday, right after I kick your ass. 1040 01:14:28,633 --> 01:14:32,865 Gentlemen, when we argue, the terrorists win. 1041 01:14:36,341 --> 01:14:39,105 Anyway, last night at a private dinner... 1042 01:14:39,277 --> 01:14:42,974 ...President Kim Jong-il made a very odd threat to, and I quote: 1043 01:14:43,148 --> 01:14:45,742 "Make a pudding from the bones of Americans." 1044 01:14:45,917 --> 01:14:47,748 That guy's insane. 1045 01:14:47,919 --> 01:14:51,946 Doesn't he know bones are crunchy? Who'd want a crunchy pudding? 1046 01:14:52,124 --> 01:14:53,819 [PHONE RINGS] 1047 01:14:53,992 --> 01:14:55,016 War room. 1048 01:14:55,193 --> 01:14:59,186 Finally. My name is Siegfried, and I represent KAOS. 1049 01:14:59,364 --> 01:15:03,562 Over the past few months, we have assembled a stockpile of nuclear weapons... 1050 01:15:03,735 --> 01:15:08,638 ... which we have distributed to 20 unfriendly, unstable dictators. 1051 01:15:09,407 --> 01:15:12,672 For the moment, KAOS retains the bomb activation codes... 1052 01:15:12,844 --> 01:15:16,746 ...but we will release the codes unless our demands are met. 1053 01:15:16,915 --> 01:15:17,973 What are your demands? 1054 01:15:18,150 --> 01:15:20,209 200 billion dollars by 3 p.m. 1055 01:15:20,385 --> 01:15:22,910 200 billion dollars by 3 p. M? 1056 01:15:23,088 --> 01:15:24,487 You seem a bit slow. 1057 01:15:24,656 --> 01:15:27,853 - Is there someone else I can talk to? - Good one. 1058 01:15:28,426 --> 01:15:31,156 Look, Siegfried, we don't negotiate with terrorists... 1059 01:15:31,329 --> 01:15:33,661 ...and you're obviously bluffing. Take a hike. 1060 01:15:33,832 --> 01:15:35,459 CHIEF: What? Are you kidding me? 1061 01:15:35,634 --> 01:15:39,263 You spent the morning talking about pudding, and you ignore a credible threat? 1062 01:15:39,437 --> 01:15:41,905 Credible? Come on. KAOS has been defunct for 20 years. 1063 01:15:42,073 --> 01:15:44,598 CHIEF: With all due respect, the CIA knows nothing about KAOS. 1064 01:15:44,776 --> 01:15:47,210 CONTROL has to be in charge here. 1065 01:15:47,379 --> 01:15:50,371 - Like when you bombed that bakery? - Muffins of mass destruction. 1066 01:15:50,549 --> 01:15:52,073 [MEN LAUGHING] 1067 01:15:52,250 --> 01:15:54,411 That's it! I've been waiting for this since Nixon. 1068 01:15:54,586 --> 01:15:57,817 - Here we go. - I got a new pacemaker, I can go all day! 1069 01:15:57,989 --> 01:16:00,048 - Okay! - Okay! Come on! 1070 01:16:03,361 --> 01:16:05,955 It seems like they don't believe you. 1071 01:16:06,531 --> 01:16:10,865 Which is why we've arranged for a little demonstration. 1072 01:16:58,850 --> 01:17:00,647 Chief, you wanted to see me? 1073 01:17:00,819 --> 01:17:04,220 Yes. You and 23 are coming with me to see the president. 1074 01:17:04,389 --> 01:17:07,119 - Can't you call him? - Vice president won't let me through. 1075 01:17:07,525 --> 01:17:10,358 I can't believe we have to go all the way to Los Angeles. 1076 01:17:10,528 --> 01:17:12,359 Why is the president never here? 1077 01:17:12,530 --> 01:17:15,090 I'm sure whatever he's doing is vital to the nation. 1078 01:17:15,467 --> 01:17:17,332 "Good night, moon. 1079 01:17:18,103 --> 01:17:21,038 Good night, cow jumping over the moon." 1080 01:17:22,040 --> 01:17:25,339 Actually, I think you would suck as my teacher. 1081 01:17:25,510 --> 01:17:28,001 Well, from wh... 1082 01:17:28,947 --> 01:17:31,677 Hey, Smart. Happy birthday. 1083 01:17:38,924 --> 01:17:40,687 I'm fat! 1084 01:17:47,165 --> 01:17:49,292 [BEEPING] 1085 01:17:50,635 --> 01:17:52,068 Gentlemen. 1086 01:17:54,339 --> 01:17:57,137 Oh. Good, the itchy kind. 1087 01:17:57,309 --> 01:17:58,401 My favorite. 1088 01:17:58,576 --> 01:18:00,373 Does this one also have smallpox? 1089 01:18:02,113 --> 01:18:03,375 [CLINKING] 1090 01:18:03,548 --> 01:18:05,675 And that was a human tooth. 1091 01:18:05,850 --> 01:18:09,547 MAN 1 [O VER RADIO]: American Top 40. WOMAN: With Ryan Seacrest. 1092 01:18:09,721 --> 01:18:12,554 MAN 2: Here's a sweet dedication from a little lady named Dalip. 1093 01:18:12,724 --> 01:18:14,191 It's to her boyfriend, Max. 1094 01:18:14,359 --> 01:18:18,887 "Meet me in L.A. Things will be very hot. Nuclear hot. " 1095 01:18:19,064 --> 01:18:22,431 I don't know, if I were Max, I would get myself to L.A. 1096 01:18:22,600 --> 01:18:25,626 [MADONNA'S "4 MINUTES" PLAYS ON RADIO] 1097 01:18:32,243 --> 01:18:34,609 Hey! Dumb guards! 1098 01:18:34,779 --> 01:18:39,011 Why don't you come in here so I can make you my pretty little girlfriends. 1099 01:18:39,184 --> 01:18:40,651 You'll have to shower for weeks! 1100 01:18:40,819 --> 01:18:42,616 [BEEPING] 1101 01:18:42,887 --> 01:18:44,650 But you will never get the smell off... 1102 01:18:44,823 --> 01:18:47,053 You two seem very angry. 1103 01:18:48,793 --> 01:18:50,920 Thank you, sir, may I have another? 1104 01:18:53,231 --> 01:18:54,799 I was kidding. 1105 01:19:02,941 --> 01:19:06,536 9-4-3-6-8. 1106 01:19:08,646 --> 01:19:09,977 [BEEPING] 1107 01:19:10,148 --> 01:19:13,083 9-4-3-6-8. 1108 01:19:13,251 --> 01:19:14,809 [DOOR CLICKS] 1109 01:19:30,135 --> 01:19:31,898 BRUCE: Turn around slowly. 1110 01:19:34,105 --> 01:19:37,404 Guys, you have to believe me. I am not a double agent. 1111 01:19:37,575 --> 01:19:40,066 - We never thought you were. - Yeah, we love you, man. 1112 01:19:40,245 --> 01:19:43,009 Then what's with the firearm and the freak-show expressions? 1113 01:19:43,181 --> 01:19:44,580 For the security cameras. 1114 01:19:44,749 --> 01:19:48,014 If it looks like we let you go, we'd totally get fired. 1115 01:19:48,186 --> 01:19:49,244 Got it. 1116 01:19:51,890 --> 01:19:53,357 So where are the Chief and 99? 1117 01:19:53,525 --> 01:19:55,493 They flew to L.A. To talk to the president. 1118 01:19:55,660 --> 01:19:58,060 I need to get out of here before someone stops me. 1119 01:19:58,229 --> 01:19:59,821 - Overpower us. - Good idea. 1120 01:19:59,998 --> 01:20:01,659 Bruce, I will smash you in the face. 1121 01:20:01,833 --> 01:20:04,427 - Thank you. - Lloyd, I'll simulate your disembowelment. 1122 01:20:04,602 --> 01:20:06,126 Ready? One... 1123 01:20:06,304 --> 01:20:08,704 Not yet! I haven't punched yet. React when I punch. 1124 01:20:08,873 --> 01:20:10,238 - Oh, yeah. - One... 1125 01:20:10,408 --> 01:20:12,171 ...two, three. 1126 01:20:13,611 --> 01:20:15,238 - Wrong way. - Okay, wait. 1127 01:20:15,413 --> 01:20:17,881 - Sometimes I faint. - I'm not going to hit you. 1128 01:20:18,049 --> 01:20:21,644 No, but when I see blood, or when I talk about blood, or think about blood... 1129 01:20:21,820 --> 01:20:24,482 There will be no blood. Hang in there. Hang in, buddy. 1130 01:20:55,220 --> 01:20:57,450 [ENGINE SPUTTERING] 1131 01:21:11,803 --> 01:21:13,464 What are you doing, dummkopf? 1132 01:21:13,638 --> 01:21:17,404 Running out in the middle of the road! You could get hit by a car! 1133 01:21:17,876 --> 01:21:20,401 Well, that was ironic. 1134 01:21:34,692 --> 01:21:36,182 PRESIDENT: Chief, I'm not buying it. 1135 01:21:36,361 --> 01:21:39,353 With all our satellites, there's no way anybody could possibly... 1136 01:21:39,531 --> 01:21:41,795 ...have nuclear bombs that we wouldn't know about. 1137 01:21:41,966 --> 01:21:43,365 "Nuclear!" 1138 01:21:43,768 --> 01:21:45,326 - What's that? - Sorry. 1139 01:21:45,503 --> 01:21:48,836 AGENT 99: Mr. President, if I could just please show you some data, you'd agree... 1140 01:21:49,007 --> 01:21:50,531 Well, just back up here a second. 1141 01:21:50,708 --> 01:21:52,699 First thing I'd like to know is... 1142 01:21:52,877 --> 01:21:55,038 ...what did the vice president say about this? 1143 01:21:55,213 --> 01:21:58,944 I'm afraid the vice president and I had a less-than-cordial encounter yesterday. 1144 01:21:59,117 --> 01:22:00,880 - Less-than-cordial, you say? - Yes, sir. 1145 01:22:01,052 --> 01:22:02,076 I'll say. 1146 01:22:03,454 --> 01:22:06,150 The chairman of joint chiefs sent me this little movie. 1147 01:22:06,324 --> 01:22:07,985 Put it right here on my cell phone. 1148 01:22:08,159 --> 01:22:10,150 Let me share this with you. This is my favorite part. 1149 01:22:10,328 --> 01:22:12,819 VICE PRESIDENT [ON VIDEO]: I got a new pacemaker, I can go all day! 1150 01:22:12,997 --> 01:22:14,521 [GRO ANING & CLATTERING ON VIDEO] 1151 01:22:14,699 --> 01:22:15,893 Oh, Chief. 1152 01:22:16,067 --> 01:22:17,227 Very sweet tackle. 1153 01:22:17,402 --> 01:22:19,893 Look. Look at the surprise on his face. 1154 01:22:20,071 --> 01:22:22,403 I probably owe you an apology for that, sir. 1155 01:22:22,574 --> 01:22:24,166 No. Please, just save your breath. 1156 01:22:24,342 --> 01:22:26,606 But I have to agree with that son of a bitch. 1157 01:22:26,778 --> 01:22:29,110 We cannot respond to every threat. 1158 01:22:30,481 --> 01:22:31,914 Case closed. 1159 01:22:52,036 --> 01:22:54,095 [PHONE RINGS] 1160 01:22:55,506 --> 01:22:56,530 Max? 1161 01:22:56,708 --> 01:22:57,834 MAX [O VER PHONE]: Hello, 99. 1162 01:22:58,009 --> 01:22:59,840 Trace 99's call, now! 1163 01:23:00,011 --> 01:23:01,876 - Where are you? - That's not important. 1164 01:23:02,046 --> 01:23:05,948 What is important is that KAOS has planted a bomb somewhere in Los Angeles. 1165 01:23:06,117 --> 01:23:08,085 We got him. He's still in Washington. 1166 01:23:08,253 --> 01:23:11,518 Listen, while I was in my cell, I had some time to think. 1167 01:23:13,658 --> 01:23:18,721 I realized that even though I was accused of something I didn't do, I was happy. 1168 01:23:19,163 --> 01:23:24,032 Because at least for a little while, I got to live my dream of being an agent. 1169 01:23:25,036 --> 01:23:26,799 And I got to be with you. 1170 01:23:26,971 --> 01:23:29,804 I learned that you have a mean right cross... 1171 01:23:29,974 --> 01:23:33,171 ... you are almost as good a dancer as me... 1172 01:23:33,344 --> 01:23:36,575 - ... and you used to look like your mom. - Max. 1173 01:23:36,748 --> 01:23:40,081 Please, 99. All I'm asking is for you to look me in the eyes... 1174 01:23:40,251 --> 01:23:42,845 ... and tell me that you don't feel something too. 1175 01:23:43,621 --> 01:23:44,781 MAN: Freeze! 1176 01:23:44,956 --> 01:23:48,722 Oh, Max. How could I look in your eyes? 1177 01:23:50,094 --> 01:23:51,356 Just turn around. 1178 01:23:58,770 --> 01:24:00,761 Why are you talking into your shoe? 1179 01:24:00,938 --> 01:24:04,339 The old "call forwarding from the shoe phone to the cell phone... 1180 01:24:04,509 --> 01:24:07,842 ...so you don't know where I am, then I appear on the roof behind you... 1181 01:24:08,012 --> 01:24:10,003 ...and surprise everyone" trick. 1182 01:24:10,181 --> 01:24:12,046 - Don't move. - What are you doing? 1183 01:24:12,216 --> 01:24:13,240 How did you get here? 1184 01:24:14,385 --> 01:24:16,250 [VOMITING] 1185 01:24:16,421 --> 01:24:18,514 Do you have another one of these? 1186 01:24:22,327 --> 01:24:23,351 It doesn't matter. 1187 01:24:23,528 --> 01:24:26,497 What matters is that there is a bomb, and I'm here to find it. 1188 01:24:26,664 --> 01:24:28,825 - How do you know this? - I'd rather not say. 1189 01:24:29,000 --> 01:24:30,991 CHIEF: Max, there are millions of lives at stake. 1190 01:24:31,169 --> 01:24:34,366 If you have credible information from a reliable source... 1191 01:24:34,539 --> 01:24:36,734 ...I wanna know it, and I wanna know it now. 1192 01:24:37,809 --> 01:24:40,676 I heard it from America's sweetheart, Ryan Seacrest. 1193 01:24:40,845 --> 01:24:42,176 - Whoa. AGENT 23: Come on. 1194 01:24:42,347 --> 01:24:43,939 It was a coded message. 1195 01:24:44,115 --> 01:24:47,482 CHIEF: Max, we're running out of time here. What are you talking about? 1196 01:24:47,652 --> 01:24:51,486 I received a tip from a KAOS agent who I befriended at the bakery. 1197 01:24:56,994 --> 01:24:58,757 I think we should trust him, Chief. 1198 01:24:58,930 --> 01:25:00,898 AGENT 23: Absolutely, Chief. I'm with 99 on that one. 1199 01:25:01,065 --> 01:25:03,863 Every time I look at Max's puppy eyes, I'm a goner. 1200 01:25:04,035 --> 01:25:07,835 Oh, my God. You've really never had anyone break up with you, have you? 1201 01:25:09,407 --> 01:25:12,308 Chief, you said that you and I are alike. 1202 01:25:12,477 --> 01:25:14,843 That we are both old-fashioned men. 1203 01:25:15,513 --> 01:25:17,640 Well, I have an old-fashioned hunch. 1204 01:25:17,815 --> 01:25:22,377 I have a hunch that you have a hunch that I am telling the truth. 1205 01:25:23,488 --> 01:25:24,580 Max... 1206 01:25:26,023 --> 01:25:29,254 Any double agent who escapes from a high-security holding situation... 1207 01:25:29,427 --> 01:25:33,022 ...only to fall into the arms of the people that got him in the first place... 1208 01:25:33,197 --> 01:25:36,997 ...is either an idiot or not a double agent, and I don't think you're an idiot. 1209 01:25:37,769 --> 01:25:38,793 Thank you, Chief. 1210 01:25:39,437 --> 01:25:42,770 Now, we know that the president is in town. 1211 01:25:42,940 --> 01:25:46,740 - But what exactly is he doing here today? - Max. 1212 01:25:46,911 --> 01:25:51,211 - Yes. We need to find out his itinerary. - But, Max, the... 1213 01:25:51,382 --> 01:25:54,112 I know, 99. I need to go get a paper. 1214 01:26:03,494 --> 01:26:05,018 We're in position. More or less. 1215 01:26:05,196 --> 01:26:08,131 Roger. I have the whole security system online. Just remember... 1216 01:26:08,299 --> 01:26:12,065 Yes, we know. How about a little radio silence? 1217 01:26:12,236 --> 01:26:15,907 I wanna quit, but what can I do? He's married to my sister. 1218 01:26:15,907 --> 01:26:16,236 I wanna quit, but what can I do? He's married to my sister. 1219 01:26:16,407 --> 01:26:20,867 By the way, I reviewed the security tapes from the explosion at the bakery... 1220 01:26:21,045 --> 01:26:25,072 ...and I know that you let those CONTROL agents get away. 1221 01:26:25,249 --> 01:26:27,513 So unless you do your job today... 1222 01:26:27,685 --> 01:26:33,817 ...your lovely wife, Zeenat, will have eaten her last kebab. 1223 01:26:55,513 --> 01:26:59,415 Blue team, check for access violation at quadrant three, sector seven. 1224 01:26:59,584 --> 01:27:00,608 Copy that. 1225 01:27:01,986 --> 01:27:03,146 Go. 1226 01:27:20,638 --> 01:27:22,333 SHTARKER: That's it. You're there. 1227 01:27:54,105 --> 01:27:55,834 Door secure. 1228 01:28:28,372 --> 01:28:30,636 We need to get everyone out and shut this place. 1229 01:28:30,808 --> 01:28:32,275 We've swept the building. 1230 01:28:32,443 --> 01:28:36,209 The Secret Service doesn't make mistakes like the fabulous bakery boys. 1231 01:28:36,380 --> 01:28:38,314 Who told you about that? Who told you? 1232 01:28:38,482 --> 01:28:40,746 Take it easy. You'll give yourself a heart attack. 1233 01:28:40,918 --> 01:28:43,546 And this day will not include me blowing into your mouth. 1234 01:28:43,721 --> 01:28:46,713 - You want a piece of me? - Come on, Chief! He's not worth it. 1235 01:28:46,891 --> 01:28:48,518 - Hey. - I'm shaking. I'm shaking. 1236 01:28:48,693 --> 01:28:49,717 You better watch it. 1237 01:28:49,894 --> 01:28:51,384 CHIEF: Let me at him! 1238 01:28:55,333 --> 01:28:55,733 [CROWD APPLAUDING] 1239 01:28:55,733 --> 01:28:56,233 [CROWD APPLAUDING] 1240 01:28:56,233 --> 01:28:57,393 [CROWD APPLAUDING] 1241 01:29:00,805 --> 01:29:02,705 MAN [O VER RADIO]: From Los Angeles, California... 1242 01:29:02,873 --> 01:29:04,208 ... we welcome you to a live broadcast... 1243 01:29:04,208 --> 01:29:04,709 ... we welcome you to a live broadcast... 1244 01:29:04,909 --> 01:29:06,900 ... of our concert for the president. 1245 01:29:07,078 --> 01:29:09,546 Dignitaries from around the world have gathered. 1246 01:29:09,714 --> 01:29:14,151 We will be broadcasting from the Walt Disney Concert Hall throughout the evening. 1247 01:29:14,318 --> 01:29:16,752 MAX: There has got to be another way in. 1248 01:29:16,921 --> 01:29:19,822 Why are we even still here? There are 50 other perfect targets. 1249 01:29:19,991 --> 01:29:23,392 The Golden Gate Bridge, Space Needle. There's no chatter to support this. 1250 01:29:23,561 --> 01:29:26,359 And you know what, I'm done with this. Stop! 1251 01:29:26,530 --> 01:29:29,988 Wait a minute, 23. You're radioactive hot. 1252 01:29:30,167 --> 01:29:32,226 When were you exposed to radioactivity? 1253 01:29:32,403 --> 01:29:35,702 I just got back from Russia. Half the people there are radioactive. 1254 01:29:35,873 --> 01:29:36,897 The bakery. 1255 01:29:37,074 --> 01:29:39,702 You said you swept the area and everything was clean. 1256 01:29:39,877 --> 01:29:42,277 - I did, and it was. AGENT 99: Really? 1257 01:29:42,446 --> 01:29:45,040 Was there anyone else there, or do we just trust you? 1258 01:29:45,516 --> 01:29:46,540 23. 1259 01:29:47,718 --> 01:29:49,413 Your knife wound is seeping. 1260 01:29:50,021 --> 01:29:51,852 Sudden rise in blood pressure? 1261 01:29:52,023 --> 01:29:55,356 Perhaps you're nervous because there is a bomb here and you know it. 1262 01:29:55,526 --> 01:29:58,984 And what is with the briefcase? Could that actually be the football? 1263 01:29:59,163 --> 01:30:02,155 You mean the computer containing the bomb activation codes? 1264 01:30:02,333 --> 01:30:06,201 Exactly. I have no interest in a real football unless it is signed by Joe Montana... 1265 01:30:06,370 --> 01:30:08,565 ...and I don't believe that's the case. 1266 01:30:10,307 --> 01:30:12,070 Well, 23? 1267 01:30:12,877 --> 01:30:14,902 You know what? We're out of time. 1268 01:30:16,414 --> 01:30:18,473 You follow us, she dies. 1269 01:30:28,292 --> 01:30:29,987 Stop this car! 1270 01:30:30,394 --> 01:30:33,795 Max! You idiot! What the hell is wrong with you? 1271 01:30:33,964 --> 01:30:37,297 You don't just slap your hands on a government vehicle! 1272 01:30:38,836 --> 01:30:43,205 All right, that's it! When we get back to Washington, you morons are through! 1273 01:30:46,343 --> 01:30:49,801 Damn it. How have you gotten away with this for so long? 1274 01:30:49,980 --> 01:30:52,346 I can't believe none of us saw it, especially me. 1275 01:30:52,516 --> 01:30:54,916 Don't beat yourself up. You'll be dead soon anyway. 1276 01:30:57,455 --> 01:30:59,514 Chief, he's heading southbound on Grand. 1277 01:30:59,690 --> 01:31:01,282 Thanks, Bruce. Keep us posted. 1278 01:31:01,926 --> 01:31:05,555 AGENT [O VER RADIO]: Hey! CONTROL assholes who just stole my vehicle! 1279 01:31:05,730 --> 01:31:10,167 I know you're listening! You two dickwads put one scratch on that car... 1280 01:31:11,368 --> 01:31:12,733 What was that? 1281 01:31:12,903 --> 01:31:14,666 Sorry, I'm losing you. 1282 01:31:15,439 --> 01:31:16,463 What the? 1283 01:31:17,942 --> 01:31:20,433 All right, fellas. 20 dollars if you hit the car. 1284 01:31:22,446 --> 01:31:26,280 MAX: Chief, I have to say, this whole thing really steams my clams. 1285 01:31:26,450 --> 01:31:29,146 I cannot get over the fact that 23 is a traitor. 1286 01:31:29,320 --> 01:31:30,719 Sand trap! 1287 01:31:30,888 --> 01:31:33,721 Now I know how you felt when you thought I was a traitor. 1288 01:31:33,891 --> 01:31:35,153 Tractor! 1289 01:31:35,326 --> 01:31:38,193 I don't know how I missed it. I'm usually very observant. 1290 01:31:38,362 --> 01:31:39,693 Swordfish! 1291 01:31:46,871 --> 01:31:49,271 MAX: Are you thinking what I'm thinking? CHIEF: I don't know. 1292 01:31:49,440 --> 01:31:53,308 Were you thinking, "Holy shit, holy shit, a swordfish almost went through my head?" 1293 01:31:53,477 --> 01:31:55,001 If so, yes. 1294 01:31:55,179 --> 01:31:56,476 Come on. 1295 01:32:19,003 --> 01:32:22,564 On behalf of the United States Government, I hereby commandeer this plane. 1296 01:32:23,474 --> 01:32:25,374 The device is armed. I hope you're moving. 1297 01:32:25,543 --> 01:32:28,512 Don't worry, sir. I'll be well clear. 1298 01:32:32,983 --> 01:32:34,917 BRUCE: Chief, they're headed southbound on l- 47. 1299 01:32:35,085 --> 01:32:36,916 Thanks, Bruce. I got them! 1300 01:32:37,788 --> 01:32:39,517 I need to get down to that car! 1301 01:32:39,690 --> 01:32:43,182 No, no good. If I get too low, he'll hear me coming! 1302 01:32:46,997 --> 01:32:48,965 I have another idea. 1303 01:32:49,800 --> 01:32:51,461 What are you doing? 1304 01:32:53,971 --> 01:32:56,667 Get back in the plane! You're gonna kill yourself! 1305 01:32:57,975 --> 01:32:59,272 Hang on! 1306 01:33:15,793 --> 01:33:17,385 Hang on! We're going in! 1307 01:33:19,463 --> 01:33:20,930 [MAX SCREAMING] 1308 01:33:22,166 --> 01:33:23,292 Sorry, Max. 1309 01:33:28,906 --> 01:33:31,568 Tuesday's not gonna work. Cannot do Tuesday, I'm already... 1310 01:33:31,742 --> 01:33:33,710 - Mom! Mom! Mom! - Sean! Sean! Sean! 1311 01:33:33,878 --> 01:33:35,903 See how annoying that is? 1312 01:33:56,233 --> 01:33:56,667 See, this is your problem. Some men like women more feminine! 1313 01:33:56,667 --> 01:34:00,125 See, this is your problem. Some men like women more feminine! 1314 01:34:00,304 --> 01:34:01,771 - I'm not feminine? - No. 1315 01:34:01,939 --> 01:34:03,065 I'm not feminine? 1316 01:34:13,984 --> 01:34:15,542 Freeze! 1317 01:34:15,819 --> 01:34:17,514 That was so cool. 1318 01:34:18,422 --> 01:34:19,753 Max! 1319 01:34:28,265 --> 01:34:29,289 Damn it to hell. 1320 01:34:39,109 --> 01:34:41,236 You know, I might be more help if you untie me! 1321 01:34:41,512 --> 01:34:43,878 There's a knife in my right front pocket! 1322 01:34:48,686 --> 01:34:50,176 [MAX LAUGHING] 1323 01:34:50,354 --> 01:34:51,582 Stop it! Stop it! 1324 01:34:52,056 --> 01:34:53,080 What? 1325 01:34:54,325 --> 01:34:56,919 That's not my knife! That's not my... 1326 01:34:57,461 --> 01:34:58,758 I got it! 1327 01:35:05,469 --> 01:35:07,130 No, 99, don't touch that! 1328 01:35:10,474 --> 01:35:11,964 Oh, my Lord. 1329 01:35:33,664 --> 01:35:35,757 Yeah! The kid's still got it. 1330 01:35:41,572 --> 01:35:42,596 AGENT 99: Max, hurry! 1331 01:35:44,675 --> 01:35:46,438 MAX: Hold on, 99! 1332 01:35:52,483 --> 01:35:56,351 Chief, we can't stop the car! We have the football, but we do not know the code! 1333 01:35:56,520 --> 01:35:57,987 We need to figure out something! 1334 01:35:58,155 --> 01:36:00,988 These tracks are taking us back downtown, towards the bomb! 1335 01:36:05,429 --> 01:36:08,296 We gotta get you out of there, and you won't survive the jump! 1336 01:36:08,465 --> 01:36:09,489 I'm coming to get you! 1337 01:36:30,854 --> 01:36:32,481 [AGENT 99 SCREAMS] 1338 01:36:34,525 --> 01:36:36,584 - Oh, God! - Hold on, 99! 1339 01:36:38,062 --> 01:36:40,860 It's not over, Max! I'll take that briefcase! 1340 01:36:41,031 --> 01:36:43,090 If you want it, you'll have to take it! 1341 01:36:43,534 --> 01:36:47,061 - That's what I just said! - I know, I'm just trying to annoy you! 1342 01:37:00,918 --> 01:37:02,476 [GRO ANING] 1343 01:37:35,819 --> 01:37:37,719 Unusual but effective. 1344 01:37:38,155 --> 01:37:39,679 [TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS] 1345 01:37:45,496 --> 01:37:47,396 - You all right? - I'm fine! 1346 01:37:53,704 --> 01:37:55,137 Max! 1347 01:37:55,873 --> 01:37:56,897 Max, your foot! 1348 01:38:02,846 --> 01:38:05,815 - I wish we had more time! - What? 1349 01:38:26,170 --> 01:38:29,333 - Max! - No! 1350 01:38:50,194 --> 01:38:51,661 Oh, Max. 1351 01:38:54,231 --> 01:38:56,324 [SQUEAKING] 1352 01:38:57,734 --> 01:38:59,224 No. No! 1353 01:39:04,875 --> 01:39:07,343 I wish we had more time too. 1354 01:39:10,047 --> 01:39:11,844 MAX: So you did hear me? 1355 01:39:14,651 --> 01:39:15,675 Max? 1356 01:39:19,856 --> 01:39:21,687 But the train... 1357 01:39:22,693 --> 01:39:24,888 Missed it by that much. 1358 01:39:44,214 --> 01:39:46,114 "Operation Joy"? 1359 01:39:47,618 --> 01:39:51,452 The "Ode to Joy" will end with a bang. 1360 01:39:53,257 --> 01:39:56,351 [PERFORMING BEETHO VEN'S "ODE TO JO Y"] 1361 01:39:56,526 --> 01:39:59,689 - Chief! - Yeah, Maxie! Are you okay? 1362 01:39:59,863 --> 01:40:03,924 Listen, I think the final notes of the "Ode to Joy" trigger the bomb! 1363 01:40:04,101 --> 01:40:05,898 We have to stop the concert! 1364 01:40:06,069 --> 01:40:07,366 I'm on it. 1365 01:40:30,494 --> 01:40:31,756 [CLEARS THRO AT] 1366 01:40:43,874 --> 01:40:47,435 My buttocks are really stinging from being dragged. 1367 01:40:56,687 --> 01:40:59,121 Hey, grandpa, I already told you... 1368 01:40:59,856 --> 01:41:03,053 Speak up, son. I'm an old man, you know. 1369 01:41:09,966 --> 01:41:11,593 [CLATTERING] 1370 01:41:14,304 --> 01:41:16,568 I like that tackling part. 1371 01:41:20,877 --> 01:41:23,641 MAX: I am so, so sorry about that. 1372 01:41:23,814 --> 01:41:25,611 Wait! No, no, let him go. 1373 01:41:26,583 --> 01:41:28,676 - There is a bomb. - Where? 1374 01:41:28,852 --> 01:41:31,844 Would you believe in the piano? 1375 01:41:37,160 --> 01:41:39,526 Whoa. How did we miss that? That is huge. 1376 01:41:39,996 --> 01:41:44,490 - Max. Was that...? - A total guess, yes, it was. 1377 01:41:53,276 --> 01:41:55,767 That old son of a gun can take a hit, huh? 1378 01:42:03,120 --> 01:42:07,523 - Do you think I should tell him? - No. Let's just savor the moment. 1379 01:42:16,199 --> 01:42:18,531 He's a funny son of a bitch, isn't he? 1380 01:42:19,236 --> 01:42:21,704 This is the proudest moment of my life! 1381 01:42:24,641 --> 01:42:26,199 Bomb not go off. 1382 01:42:26,376 --> 01:42:28,936 Oh, really, bright-eyes? What alerted you? 1383 01:42:29,112 --> 01:42:32,240 Was it no "Boom, boom," or the lack of a mushroom cloud? 1384 01:42:32,416 --> 01:42:35,112 It was the mushroom cloud for me. 1385 01:42:36,086 --> 01:42:40,955 Well, you did your job, so I suppose I can't kill your wife. 1386 01:42:41,358 --> 01:42:44,953 Although to be honest, I'd be doing the sighted world a favor. 1387 01:42:48,899 --> 01:42:50,799 [SCREAMS] 1388 01:42:53,403 --> 01:42:55,701 What good hang time, huh? 1389 01:42:56,440 --> 01:42:59,671 Yes, Mr. President. Thank you and goodbye, sir. 1390 01:42:59,876 --> 01:43:03,403 86, the President wanted me to convey his personal thanks... 1391 01:43:03,580 --> 01:43:07,311 ...and to tell you how impressed he was with that dragged-by-a-train thing. 1392 01:43:07,484 --> 01:43:11,580 Well, sir, as an agent, I have trained myself to be impervious to pain. 1393 01:43:11,755 --> 01:43:12,813 [DOG BARKING] 1394 01:43:12,989 --> 01:43:15,219 Ah! Hey, it's Fang. 1395 01:43:15,392 --> 01:43:18,054 I wanted him to be a surprise. 1396 01:43:18,228 --> 01:43:21,356 99, please, nobody here knows that we're dating. 1397 01:43:21,531 --> 01:43:23,089 CHIEF: Yes, they do. 1398 01:43:24,367 --> 01:43:25,664 On the cheek. 1399 01:43:26,770 --> 01:43:28,499 - Let's go. - Maybe a little one? 1400 01:43:29,473 --> 01:43:33,375 Hey, new guy. Hold up a second. Welcome to CONTROL. 1401 01:43:33,543 --> 01:43:36,774 We have a tradition called "pick on the new guy." Here's how it works. 1402 01:43:36,947 --> 01:43:39,939 - We pick on the new guy. - And you can't do anything about it. 1403 01:43:40,116 --> 01:43:41,481 Let's try one. 1404 01:43:42,319 --> 01:43:45,311 - You dropped your pencil. - Did you hear the man? 1405 01:43:45,722 --> 01:43:48,987 I don't see a man, I see two little girls. 1406 01:43:49,159 --> 01:43:53,186 I think I'll call you Maureen, and you Brittany. 1407 01:43:53,363 --> 01:43:56,696 - New guy did not. - New guy did. 1408 01:43:56,867 --> 01:43:58,858 AGENT 91: Okay, new guy... LARABEE: I got this. 1409 01:43:59,336 --> 01:44:00,826 And I'm going to enjoy it. 1410 01:44:01,004 --> 01:44:02,995 That will make me happy, Maureen. 1411 01:44:03,406 --> 01:44:04,430 Maureen. 1412 01:44:04,608 --> 01:44:05,734 [DINGS] 1413 01:44:05,909 --> 01:44:07,171 Ow! What's in there? 1414 01:44:07,744 --> 01:44:09,575 - And just for the record. - What's in there? 1415 01:44:09,746 --> 01:44:10,974 [LARABEE SCREAMS] 1416 01:44:11,147 --> 01:44:12,637 My name is not "new guy." 1417 01:44:13,884 --> 01:44:15,249 My name is Hymie. 1418 01:44:15,418 --> 01:44:17,818 Now, if you ladies will excuse me. 1419 01:44:20,223 --> 01:44:21,986 This is gonna be so fun. 1420 01:44:22,158 --> 01:44:23,750 Make him high-five me. 1421 01:44:58,128 --> 01:44:59,356 Max, we're gonna be late. 1422 01:45:03,366 --> 01:45:06,028 Oh, Max. Let Maintenance take care of it. 1423 01:45:10,173 --> 01:45:11,265 Ah! 1424 01:45:11,441 --> 01:45:13,375 You've gotta be kidding me! 108829