Original subtitles

[thunderclap]

I believe you're looking for me.

[thunder rumbling]

[scoffs]

Is this the part where you torture and interrogate me?

- Quiet, demon boy. - Madison.

[♪ tense music playing]

Unless you want to hit the high notes.

I bet you'd make a lovely soprano.

- [chuckles] - Careful.

I'm currently vibrating at my cuntiest frequency.

[exclaims]

[grunts]

Go ahead. Try me.

I would win, as you all must know.

But I did not come here to fight you ladies.

[sighs, grunts]

Who are you?

I'm exactly who you think I am.

Well, we don't bargain with the son of Satan,

so give me one reason not to destroy you on the spot.

Because I never wanted any of this.

I never asked for it.

Because I will help you save the world.

You need me.

I know everything about him, about my father, his weakness, his fears.

And I know this is hard to believe, but I am on your side.

[Madison sighs]

[Ben scoffs]

Continue.

After I accepted the pact from my old man, that devil in a wheelchair...

[♪ suspenseful music playing]

[Ben] ...I gained these powers.

And one of them was reading his mind.

[distorted voice whispering indistinctly]

[growling]

[distorted voice, growling continues]

[distorted voice] Witches...

[Ben] In what felt like a flash,

I learned everything about the man.

And it bound me and your Coven together in ways my father never could have foreseen.

I learned about everything that he had done to me.

How he had engineered my...

my miserable childhood, my morbid job, a deadly plane crash.

My whole life, really.

[breathing heavily]

And that rage, my fury over what had been forced upon me...

- [kettle rattling] - ...it boiled over.

- [table bangs] - [flames whoosh]

[Ben] My whole life, I had stayed small.

Holy shit.

- Suddenly I understood. - [kettle whistling]

[Ben] I always had this power.

Just needed somewhere to go.

[whistling continues]

[Ben] I realized I could choose a different path,

a different side.

I mean, I could...

I could choose a path forward to stop him.

He didn't ever imagine that I would reach out to his enemy.

That's how my father underestimated me.

His big mistake.

Cordelia, how can you even indulge this guy?

We simply cannot trust him.

Look, when a man in triple-ply cashmere starts to smooth talk,

I tend to give him a chance,

and while I sure love the fit and the swagger,

I think we're going to need some references.

Okay.

I can't convince you alone. I get that.

So I went and found the one person that you might actually trust.

Think of it as a peace offering.

[disembodied voices shouting]

[Ben] I descended into the underworld.

How, I cannot entirely explain.

[Papa] Dark prince?

In these parts?

I ain't gonna stop ya.

[damned soul 1] That's the dark prince.

[damned soul 2] Dark prince.

[voice echoes]

[Ben] And I found your friend...

the flame-haired Myrtle Snow.

[gasps]

[♪ mysterious music playing]

You lie.

The one that you burned alive, now in hell,

doomed to work forever

at a JCPenney's in Branson, Missouri.

There's no fucking way Myrtle Snow is roasting in hell.

What did she do?

Um...

she took a melon baller to her fellow witches' eyes, did she not?

Before she killed them.

[cash register beeping]

- Ladies... - [Myrtle] Next.

- [cash register dings] - [Ben] ...the devil has his own calculus.

- [Myrtle] Christ, now it looks terrible. - [baby crying]

- [♪ Muzak playing on speakers] - Terrible.

Polyblend is like a curse on the world.

It's worse than leprosy or locusts.

- [indistinct announcement on PA] - Well, I kinda like it.

No, it's too tight

and you look like a kind of horrible blood sausage,

the bits stuffed into that polyester casing.

No, I want this, and I like this headband too.

Oh, no, dear.

I'm sorry, but you could never pull off Miss La Toya Jackson.

It'll catch the sweat, right?

It's practical.

Fashion should never be practical or comfortable.

Unless you bleed or can't breathe,

you miss the point of the art of it entirely.

When I look at you, I want to kill myself.

And you too.

But let's find you something coral-colored

to work with those ruddy rosacea skin tones.

Nope, I'm getting this.

And some clip-on earrings too.

[chuckling] Clip-on? No.

Do you work at some roadside truck stop?

I mean, is-is your name Flo?

Why don't you take my fucking advice?

Honestly?

- You kind of look like a drag queen. - [gasps]

Proudly, bitch.

That is the point.

[Ben] A job in this hell is to be the only one of taste

in a sea of the unfashionably lost.

[buzzing]

[Ben] To offer makeovers for all eternity

and never once have her educated choices considered.

- [Myrtle] Next. - [cash register dings]

- [baby continues crying] - [gasps]

Acid-washed denim.

The early 2000s look is back.

No, it isn't.

Looking like an extra in the defunct show, The OC .

Wearing True Religion jeans is never an option.

Why don't you just put on an Ed Hardy trucker hat and finish me off?

Only Missy Misdemeanor can pull off Kangol.

I pray

my last death row meal

is merely to inhale

Tom Ford-era Gucci,

and then I want a quick beheading

with the sharpest blade possible.

[PA beeps]

[employee] Attention, shoppers, enjoy our flash sale...

I also like tube tops.

I'm gonna try those on.

[buzzing]

[♪ Muzak distorts]

- [Myrtle] Next. - Myrtle Snow, it's time for your break.

[baby cries, echoes]

You could say I'm, uh...

the management.

You're my salvation, my respite.

And such beautiful skin.

The light of the world.

Thank God you're here.

Oh, no.

Not God. Not exactly.

[♪ mysterious music playing]

Where are you taking me?

Anywhere you wanna go.

A Rei Kawakubo Comme des Gar?ons fashion show, front row,

with Victoria Beckham at my side to gossip with

and talk shit about everyone.

Make it snappy.

Cordelia.

About the neglect in your childhood.

She was a surrogate mother to you.

Take her name out of your mouth.

We see right through the devil's tricks.

Trust me.

I am not the devil that you know.

[♪ mysterious music playing]

I'm the devil that you need.

[doorbell rings]

- Girls. - Myrtle.

I only have one thing to say.

[echoing] Balenciaga!

- [door closes] - [chuckles]

Oh, my dear Cordelia, come here.

- [whimpers softly] - Come here.

- Oh... - [Mallory whispers] Oh, my God.

[Cordelia] How can this be?

Is this real?

Yes, dear, it is real. You can trust him.

And I have returned with great purpose.

To repair and properly accessorize this wretched planet

once and for all.

[laughs]

I've heard so much about you.

- Hi. - [Myrtle] Hi.

- This is Coco. - [Myrtle] Coco.

[Coco chuckling] Hi.

Myrtle, I've missed you.

- Mallory. - [Myrtle murmurs]

[sniffles]

Dear Cordelia...

Let me see. Chanel?

[Cordelia chuckles]

- [Cordelia] You look wonderful. - [Mallory] I can't believe it.

[Cordelia] Absolutely wonderful.

[laughing]

Pretty nifty.

[Cordelia] Myrtle...

I believed you, by the way.

What other tricks you got in your pocket, demon boy?

Did you, uh, like throwing me around?

[whispers] Actually, I did.

[Madison] If you ask me later if that was the exact moment

I fell in love with the devil's son,

I would tell you, no way.

But I did fall in love with him eventually.

[♪ "Girl, Intentions" playing]

[Madison] Here's the story of how Satan's spawn and a witch

became history's ultimate it couple.

♪ I don't care to Leave a legacy... ♪

[Madison] Honestly, me falling hard

for the son of the world's biggest son of a bitch is so obvi.

I mean, I've always had a thing for bad boys with a twinkle in their eye.

Hi, I'm Madison, and my therapist says to trust the process.

Hi, I'm John.

[Madison chuckles] Oh.

Cheers.

Um, I'm sorry, but...

you're much more creepy in person than on your Hinge profile.

Your face is slightly bruised.

[chuckles] Like that Clavicular guy who, you know,

hits his own face with a hammer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Actually, I do that. I'm into looksmaxxing.

Oh. God.

It's actually a really interesting technique...

[Madison] I know, I know, I have a bad picker. I get it.

If they reeked of trouble, I literally ran towards them.

Because I could fix them, right?

...ancient, sculptural.

[Madison] Only to retreat in shame and consider lesbianism.

All my Coven season girls out there, you get me completely.

Dating over 30 is, like, the worst.

And if you're a spectacular witch with magical powers,

stunning hair extensions, and high standards...

[sighs] ...nearly impossible.

But, trust, witches are just like mortal girls. We all want love too.

- Where you heading? - [Madison] A quality romance.

Hard to find when you're superior.

- So I dated a lot. - [imitates engine revving]

[Madison] Serial killers,

Netflix soap opera stars headlining shows

about lame South Carolina pier towns,

macho podcasters with Turkish hair implants,

even someone with Equinox biceps

from the New York City Mamdani campaign.

I was desperate.

Change, I mean real change,

where we can tax the billionaires

and finally open up those community--

Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm gonna need to get the check, please.

And no, I'm not splitting it.

Wait, you're trying to leave?

Why? I'm so fascinating, and I'm such a catch.

Really?

Yeah, well, I have been reading your mind this entire time

because that's my gift.

And you aren't thinking about me or my high, firm breasts.

You're just thinking about how cool you are with your, like,

socialist, city-owned grocery stores.

Gross.

Like most millennials,

I feel I lost an entire seven or eight years of my life

to COVID, to years of political unrest.

I spent my prime "hot, tight bod" years scrolling through Instagram,

watching a lifetime of stories about miracle magnesium supplements

instead of living my life and truly getting out there.

What a waste.

Travis and Taylor. Ben and Jen.

Not Garner.

I sacrificed chickens, did love spells.

Nothing worked.

I could not find a man to love me.

It seemed that love defied my witchcraft.

A first for me in my entire life.

Finally, it got so bad that I decided to do it on my own.

I'd freeze my eggs, live it up, have a family later.

When I was, like, 70 or whatever.

[door opens]

Madison Montgomery. An egg harvest?

I knew this day would come.

Well, I guess, lady, it's time to get in-formation.

Funny. And tragic.

Oh.

[tools clattering]

Ugh.

I hate having those things anywhere near me.

But I know if anyone's going to respect my pretty, pretty princess,

it's my favorite F slur.

- Oh... - [laughs]

"Cliterally."

Good news. Your blood work looks good, though...

[Madison] I bet you didn't know

that witches have our own warlock gynecologists, did you?

Well, we do.

Mine was a flaming queen named Warlock Weathersby.

He was a raging homosexual who chased twinks,

but he was damn good at the egg retrieval game.

I knew other witches who swore by his IVF magic.

Only one thing left to do.

Ready for your cooch exam, girlfriend?

Sure, fab, can't wait.

While you're gloving up, entertain me with your usual sissy tales.

Well, last night, I fell in love

with the most divine, smooth-skinned Asian gentleman.

Let me guess.

A 22-year-old go-go boy.

How'd you know? Girl.

[chuckles, clears throat]

- Now I am going to do an anesthesia spell. - [exhales]

You'll be out, but we will harvest your scrambled eggs.

[Madison] In that moment, I felt such hope.

Maybe someone to love was finally on my horizon.

It's not fair.

I thought I'd have a dozen eggs, and you're...

you're telling me you only retrieved one?

Correct. Um, but, honey, you waited too long.

- [stammers] - And your otherworldly abundance dried up,

and now not even a fertility spell can help.

- [crying] - Oh, it happens to a lot of witches.

One minute they're hot, career-obsessed, supernatural snatches,

and then in a, well, bewitched blink of an eye,

they turn around and they're dried-out old hags

with no options except, uh, revenge spells,

uh, uh, full-moon yoga retreats, and, uh, cats.

- [chuckles] - You are a mean, old rice queen.

- [sniffles] - Oh, honey. I'm sorry.

We can do another egg harvest in six months

if you really want to keep trying.

But, uh, that's a decision only you can make, darling.

[Madison] Three months after that gut-wrenching day at the OBGYN,

Ben appeared in our lives,

and I didn't know I could be into anyone so... normal,

with a satanic bloodline to boot.

I mean, when you're deep into your 30s,

you really got to give up liking the guys who are never gonna like you back.

And there was something reassuringly Obama-era about this guy

who was so chill, so ordinary.

On the surface, anyway.

You hungry or something?

You psychic or something?

Yes, obviously, but your stomach is growling.

I was an actress. I know about starvation.

- Want to get out of here? - Sure.

But don't do that guy thing where you want me to choose,

but you don't really want me to choose.

Ooh, I don't know if I can help it. I'm a New York dago.

- [chuckles] - I like red sauce, garlic, and a Chianti...

[Madison] A refreshing change from the jambalaya burps

that clouded my usual dates in this town.

Well, I hate to break it to you, but New Orleans

isn't exactly known for its Italian food.

Who said anything about New Orleans?

[Madison] And just like that, we were somewhere else entirely,

even though he was just figuring out his powers.

- [people chattering] - [♪ violin playing gentle melody]

After you.

[Madison] I mean, like, an Italian restaurant in actual Italy.

Ah. Buonasera.

[Madison] It felt like something out of a Julia Roberts movie.

I love her.

- [patrons chattering loudly] - [♪ violin continues]

Grazie, signore.

- [patrons chattering loudly] - [♪ violin continues]

Grazie.

[sighs]

What?

Nothing.

You held a knife to my crotch.

I think we're past pretending that you're shy.

Maybe I don't feel comfortable giving too much away.

At least, not in public.

You know I can read minds too, right?

Intimate sounds nicer.

[chattering stops]

[♪ piano playing gentle melody]

[Madison chuckles]

Good one.

Let me handle the mood.

Hmm. Good lighting is everything

while I'm on the waitlist for needle and threadwork.

- [chuckles] - Anyway, much better.

So what's it like going on dates, looking for a connection

while being the son of Satan?

- Right. - Yeah.

Yeah, no, I've only been on one

ever since I found out this whole "devil's bastard" news.

Didn't really end well.

Got a hankering for some Ben-style cooking.

Ooh! [Scottish accent] Get in my belly.

Not tonight, Ashley.

Actually, not any night. Can you tell me...

What are you even doing here?

[chuckles] Oh.

Right, you're still pissy about the tattoo thing?

Come on, you gotta let that go, Mr. Sensitive. [chuckles]

Do not tell me what I can let go.

All right.

[♪ tense music playing]

Well, didn't it turn out pretty all right for you?

Devil boy.

O-Okay, you're freaking me out.

Hello? [chuckles]

All right. I-I don't know this Ben.

Right.

Because you only know the Ben that you can manipulate.

- Some plaything that you can spy on. - [sighs]

- [chuckles] Yeah, your plaything. - You need to let this all go.

Spin me around and around till I'm dizzy with your lies.

Okay, can we calm down for a second?

- No one is spinning you around. - [scoffs]

- Why don't we just call Constance? - No, no Constance!

Not any of them.

So what was I to you, hmm?

Some target for you?

For trauma dumping, fucking,

all so I could believe that you cared about me?

- But you were never on my side. - [objects rattling]

- Never the right side! - I am on your side.

- No! - [gasping]

Now it is my turn to spin your head around!

[squelching]

[electricity buzzing]

[panting]

[Madison] Sounds like the traitorous bitch had it coming.

[Ben] I don't know. Does anyone?

[♪ piano music continues]

[both chuckle]

It's just... I think I probably went too far.

It's not my finest hour.

Trust me, I've done worse.

I flipped a bus full of frat bros once.

No.

Wow.

Yeah.

[breathes deeply]

I bet they deserved it.

Yeah.

Yes, they did.

And thank you.

I try to be a good person.

I do.

My instincts have just always had other ideas.

It's like there's this little voice in my head,

and the thing about that voice is she is a real good time. [chuckles]

Devil on your shoulder.

Yeah. [chuckles]

But it's more than that.

It's like a...

like a darkness inside.

You know?

More than I would have liked to.

I think it's great that you are in touch with yourself.

I mean, I spent years, years just pushing things down.

Keeping a lid on things.

It's exhausting.

And now, I mean, I'm just running much hotter

than I'm used to, but it's sort of, uh...

- [chuckles] - It's invigorating. [chuckles]

Maybe it all just balances out. [laughs]

That's what I keep telling myself anyways.

I want to be a good person.

It's just not my default setting, and that's okay.

No, no, no, I don't think that we should be chasing defaults.

I mean, maybe wanting to be good is enough.

I-I'm not sure that goodness is some state that you just arrive at.

It's more like a...

I think it's a direction that you choose.

You know, without really knowing if you're gonna get there.

- Mmm. - That's what I want.

That's where I wanna go.

[Madison] Yep, I was fully living in a rom-com.

He was proper, passionate,

and a Ben Affleck-type in the sack.

Turns out, if you want someone to worship your pretty, pretty princess,

look no further than the son of Satan himself.

For the record, you make a... a lovely soprano.

[chuckling] Stop.

- [chuckles] - You think the whole Coven heard?

I think the whole state of Louisiana.

How on earth?

It's the benefits of a forked tongue.

- [chuckling] Stop it. - You wanna see it again?

[both laugh]

[sighs]

Can I ask you something?

Try me.

You said you're connected to his mind.

This Mr. Nas guy.

Who's to say he can't read yours?

I mean, how do you know he's not gonna show up here and kill all of us?

I don't. [chuckles]

I mean, maybe he could.

I mean, I don't want to freak you out, but...

kind of new to the whole, uh...

son of Satan thing.

But you're so good at it.

You know the Bible, right?

[Madison scoffs]

- [chuckles] - Jesus is in the desert.

Forty days, 40 nights, Satan comes to tempt him.

Is that the torture porn Jesus movie Mad Max made?

Or the one where the guy from Pulp Fiction plays Judas with a Brooklyn accent?

I've seen neither.

The New York Judas one, I think, but that's not my point.

No, the...

the thing is...

Jesus is the son of God,

and Satan comes to try and tempt him into turning his back on his father.

Jesus is starving.

Forty days. And Satan offers him bread.

He tests his faith.

He offers him dominion of the whole world.

And Jesus told my dad...

- "Fuck you." - [chuckles]

Now I'm in the mood for toast.

I mean, maybe you're my temptation.

[Madison scoffs]

God sent you to me

so I could feel what's possible if I deny my own father.

He's tempting me.

To show me what my father never could give me.

Love.

[chuckles softly]

That's lovely.

But I'm no angel.

I was literally sent to hell.

Okay, you're a sinner. We all are.

Maybe the world can only be saved if a few broken people band together.

I mean, you and your Coven are some fucked-up chicks.

- [laughs] - You still fight evil.

[Madison] Hmm.

I mean, that's the side that I wanna choose.

Your side.

Should we get back to saving the world?

I guess.

[♪ "Road to Hell" playing]

[Madison] All my life I told myself that someday,

my prince would come.

Who knew he would turn out to be the prince of darkness? [giggles]

♪ Go away for awhile 'Cause you can't ♪

♪ 'Cause you can't See this again ♪

♪ Take a break From your friends If you ever ♪

♪ If you ever wanna See them again ♪

♪ Can you think for yourself Just once? ♪

♪ You're never gonna Get back home ♪

♪ Cause you're gonna discover Ah-ah, alone on the telephone ♪

♪ Don't run away from me Baby ♪

♪ Just go away from me, baby ♪

♪ Road to hell Road to hell ♪

♪ Road to hell Road to hell ♪

♪ Road to hell Road to hell ♪

♪ Road to hell Road to hell ♪

♪ Go away for awhile If you can ♪

♪ You can be my only friend When you're tied to the bed ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah We can learn how to begin ♪

♪ Take apart this verse again If you're so good at offense ♪

♪ I can say these words again If you know how to defend ♪

♪ Don't run away from me Baby ♪

♪ Just go away from me, baby ♪

♪ Don't run away from me Baby ♪

♪ Just go away from me, baby ♪

♪ Road to hell Road to hell ♪

♪ Road to hell Road to hell ♪

♪ Road to hell Road to hell ♪

♪ Road to hell Road to hell ♪

♪ Road to hell Road to hell ♪

♪ Road to hell Road to hell ♪

♪ Road to hell Road to hell ♪

♪ Road to hell Road to hell ♪

♪ Don't run away ♪