Original subtitles

There you go. Don't drive.

-Right, right. -Right?

-Can you stand on your own? -Yeah.

I can stand on my own.

-Jake? -Yeah?

-Anything broken? -No.

Okay, goodnight.

Don't drive.

Ooh. Oh.

Oh...

Oh.

Oh good. Good, good, good.

All right, here we go.

Wait...

I'll just take a little nap.

That'd be good.

She said it would take one hour, and that was...

-Two and a half hours, actually. -Three hours ago.

-She's an underestimator. -I'm gonna have to call...

I called Elek Plumbing. They open at nine.

♪ Who wanders with the Lord ♪

Sister Clara!

♪ Heaven knows how to live ♪

I know a woman who's not that happy!

♪ Happy the man Who never seeks reward ♪

Sister Clara!

♪ Giving because He loves to give ♪

Sister Clara!

-Good morning! -Oh!

Sister Clara.

Okay.

You need to tell me what's going on.

You said you could fix this.

"Happy the man who wanders with the Lord."

No, Sister.

Happy the woman whose school has heat.

Why isn't this fixed?

Well, when I can figure out

how to fix it,

I'll be able to answer that question.

Clara,

I have 75 teenage boys

who are refusing to shower

because the water's too cold.

Do you have any idea what 75 unshowered

teenage boys smell like?

They stink!

They stink even when they shower.

Thank you, Sister Margaret Anthony.

You make a valid point.

I know.

Can you fix this?

Or do I have to take extraordinary measures?

-Pray? -No...

pay.

-I need it done. -How about this?

I will continue working here, and...

you go do whatever you have to do until then.

But Kathleen.

God's timing is always perfect.

There may be something good that comes out of all this.

Why don't you focus on what that could be, hmm?

Hmm.

Okay.

Thank you.

♪ Happy the man ♪

♪ Who learns how to pray ♪

♪ Happy the man ♪

♪ Who has a burning goal ♪

♪ Happy the man ♪

♪ Whose service needs no pay ♪

Come on. Wake up in there.

-Let's go. -I'm up, I'm up, I'm up.

Open the window.

Hey man, what time is it?

It's time for you to show me

your license and registration.

No, seriously.

Buddy, I've never been more serious in my life.

You are a failure, Jake.

It's as simple as that, one big selfish failure!

And oh, and that's the fourth time this month

that you've used the exact same excuse.

And I'm sick of it!

-He'll be ready in just a few minutes. -Sick of it!

Uh, is this normal?

When he speaks to Jake Bauer, yeah.

No, no, no! Don't.

I give you a chance when no one else will,

and you still have some apparent need to prove me wrong!

I think you're just reading way too much into it.

I just overslept.

Oh, good! Because you're gonna

need all of your energy

when you're looking for a new job.

Oh come on, please don't do this to me.

Jake, do you hear yourself sometimes?

Don't do this to you? I didn't do anything to you!

You're doing all of this to yourself!

You're the best employee I've ever had, Jake.

You can fix anything...

but yourself, apparently!

You're fired!

You're fired, go!

Go! Between employees

who don't show up for work, and clients who can't

pay their bills on time,

it's a miracle I can keep my doors open!

Oh, I... I read that you have to break eye contact,

or this could go on for months.

Whatever it takes.

Sister Margaret Anthony, cou...

could you wait for me in the car?

Are you sure? I don't mind.

No, you're gonna hear me say things

that you shouldn't hear your Mother Superior say.

Ooh... Are you gonna swear?

No, I'm gonna beg.

Hey, psst. SMA...

This engagement is escalating quickly.

I'm gonna need a little cover fire.

When you get to the car, lay down

about 20 Hail Marys for me.

-Roger that. -Just...

All right, let's just keep this going.

Send in the next bit of bad news.

Sister Kathleen, Mr. Russell will see you now.

Oh.

Ah, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse.

So nice to see you, Mr. Russell.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou among women,

and blessed is the fruit

of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, mother of God.

Pray for us sinners.

Now and in the hour of our death.

Amen.

Well, how'd Mary do?

Are they gonna fix our heater?

Uh, that's a no.

There will be no heater fixing

-until there is bill paying. -Oh...

I guess Mary was busy elsewhere.

Yes.

She was probably worried about that guy.

Come on.

All right, you done it.

-It's gotta be... -Ha.

It's gotta be here, come on!

Oh no, no, no. Oh!

Oh no! No, no, no, Hail Mary.

Hail Mary, full of grace...

-What? -Are you a creeper?

What?

I already know you're a drinker, I...

smelled that when you walked past me.

Are you a liar?

Cheat? Are you wanted by the law?

Lady, I... I don't know what's wrong with you,

but you have the worst timing in the world.

So I've been told.

But what we're dealing with here is God's timing.

Totally different thing.

I don't believe in God.

Well, good news.

He believes in you,

so that's working out fine.

Well?

Well, what?

Jesus said, "The harvest is truly plentiful,

but the laborers are few."

Okay. You're a heater repairman,

and according to Mr. Russell,

the best one he's ever hired.

Which makes you the best one he's ever fired.

So?

So you're jobless,

and I'm offering you a job.

See?

God's timing is always perfect.

-Lesson over. -Okay, uh, listen.

Wha... You got a heating problem, you take it up with him.

Hmm.

Mister Bauer.

He won't give me any more credit.

I don't blame him. I owe him too much money.

The students are cold, and my sisters are cold.

And we need you, Jake.

It's as simple as that.

I'm sorry, Sisters. I...

I should have told him to watch his language.

You know, from a grammatical standpoint,

it's been a very impressive oration.

I've never actually heard that word being used as a...

a noun, a... a verb, and a pronoun

all in the same sentence.

He's done it!

Thank God!

Wait a minute.

I wouldn't do the victory dance just yet.

This thing, it's a monster.

You gotta tell your maintenance man to pay more attention to it.

Sister Clara does the best she can.

Sister Clara?

This is your job?

I like to think of it more as a penance

than a job.

Uh, English please, Sister Signe.

Mother, the boys are fighting again!

-Oh. -Oh no.

Stay down!

Yeah!

Whoo! All right, how am I looking?

Good? Cool, come on.

Boys! Boys, stop!

Hey, hey, hey, you cannot fight

in front of Jesus! Come on!

Sorry FT, I owe you one.

Johnny, get back here!

Yeah!

Boys! Boys, there's only ten commandments,

and you're breaking, like, four of 'em!

Boys, boys! Stop it!

I said stop!

Go ahead, go ahead. Throw the punch.

Knocking you into next week

would be the perfect way to end this crappy day.

No! That's not gonna happen.

Johnny, Keith, in my office!

Now.

The rest of you better get back to class,

or it's gonna be liver for dinner

seven nights a week until Christmas!

Yes?

I like liver.

Duly noted.

Seth, go back to your classroom.

Thank you.

Sisters...

brothers.

Please make sure everyone's where they need to be.

Gentlemen, what are you doing starting fights like that?

Huh? And you.

What are you doing, huh? Why are you doing that?

You know better than that. You're supposed to be...

-Hey, can I ask you a question? -But you think...

How do you do it?

I'm sorry, what did you say?

No, I'm just asking, how do you put up

with these wacky nuns?

I mean, look at her.

She's in here lecturing these kids like it's 1965.

Every boy is here for a reason.

They're lucky she cares so deeply.

Right, of course.

Uh, hey, you know what I'm gonna do?

I am gonna give you my phone number,

and I'm gonna tell you why.

Because...

I think you probably have some great nun stories,

so why don't you give me a call.

I'll take you to a nice dinner,

and then you and I can have some laughs.

What do you say?

-Yes, Sister. -Yes, Sister.

Oh, yeah right. Right.

Now, where were we?

Rebecca, could you please

send mister Bauer in?

She's ready for you.

Look at me, I'm in trouble.

I got called into the principal's office.

Hey, hey. Seriously.

Call me later.

Hey. That secretary of yours is...

wow.

Wow?

Yeah, hey, no offense...

Uh, before you say anything else,

it... it's been my experience that when someone

starts a sentence with the phrase, "No offense,"

the very next thing out of their mouth

is extremely offensive.

No, what I'm saying is you're a nun, right?

So you would have no idea how hot she is.

Actually, uh, I am not a nun.

Nuns are cloistered.

I am a religious sister.

Nor am I blind.

Then you can see how

great-looking she is in that skirt.

You should see her in her habit.

Uh, what?

No... no witty response, mister Bauer?

-Wait, what? -Cat got your tongue?

Yeah, I know. I know.

It's hard to imagine such a... a beautiful woman

would throw her life away like that.

I mean, dedicating the entirety of it...

helping the poor and such,

it must seem like such a waste

to a man of your extraordinary sensibilities.

-I'm... -Embarrassed?

-No, I'm... -Regretful?

Sorry, okay? I'm... I'm sorry.

You can take that up with Sister Rebecca.

In the meantime,

we are grateful for...

All of your help today.

-Huh? -Hmm.

Oh, the... Yeah. Look, hey.

You get those knuckleheads to play some football.

That'll burn some of the testosterone off of them.

We're hard pressed to keep the heat on.

Sports is a luxury we can't afford.

I mean, hey, look, I don't know what to tell you,

but you know, kids that age, without something

to distract them, they're gonna find trouble.

Hm. You're right.

You wanna escape, do you?

Yes.

That door leads to the hallway.

Oh, uh.

You can apologize to Sister Rebecca,

if... if you ever see her again.

-Okay, okay. -Hey.

Good luck, mister Bauer.

Thank you. Wait, was it, Sister?

Uh, yeah, Sister's fine.

-Sister. Okay, thanks. -You're welcome.

-Kathy? -Yes?

-Are you okay? -Yeah.

That Jake, he's, uh, quite a character.

But in the end, he was actually...

Nicer?

I was gonna say less of a jerk,

but I like your version better.

You know,

a man with no purpose

is just as lost as these kids.

He leave you a souvenir?

-Yeah. -Oh!

Oh, if I had a dollar

for every man that gave you his phone number,

I'd never have to worry about fundraising again.

She's here.

You lie.

See for yourself, she's in the library.

-Please bring the thing! -Okay!

Ah!

Veronica!

Mother Superior.

Oh, forgive me, I didn't

realize I was meeting you today.

I would have ironed my veil, or, um...

-I'm sorry. -Oh no, honey.

You're... you're perfect.

There's no need for that.

We're very informal here.

You don't even have to wear the habit. It's up to you.

Thank you, Mother Superior,

but I... I like wearing the habit.

I love it, actually

I'd feel, I don't know, undressed without it.

Oh, well whatever makes you comfortable.

Uh, Sister Rebecca here doesn't always wear it,

and some of our sisters do, and some do sort of.

But I'm like you.

I think it's who I am.

And it scares the boys a little, I hope.

Anyway, um...

as is tradition in our order,

we try to find the perfect

welcome gift for our new novice.

You are very special to us,

as we have been praying for a music program.

Every night for five years.

And you finally are the answer

to those prayers.

I found this at a yard sale when I was a child,

and I had to have it.

I think it cost all of 25 cents,

but to me,

it was priceless. Wind it up.

"Make Me a Channel of Your Peace."

Sister, this is one of my favorite hymns.

Oh... Mine too.

I must have listened to it 1000 times.

But it wasn't until years later

when I finally heard the message,

and the calling.

But you, my dear,

you've already heard that call,

and we're so... so blessed to have you.

Welcome to Mary Immaculate.

Good evening.

-Evening, sir. For one? -I... I'm good, I'm good.

Hello.

This section is closed.

Bull, the entire restaurant's open.

You see that sign? I can just refuse you service.

Right, and if you did, here's what would happen.

You would miss out on a hefty tip.

Got a little extra money.

I was up at Mary Immaculate.

What'd you do, rob the poor box?

Look, I don't want any of your drama, okay?

You were so drunk last time you were here,

you were an embarrassment.

Just go sit somewhere else.

I'm not. I'm not moving.

I'm not moving from this spot

until I get my dinner.

You're killing me.

What do you want?

Tonight, I want a hamburger.

A big hamburger. You know,

one of those hamburgers that's so big

that it has to have its own name.

And I want everything on it

except mustard, because I hate mustard.

Hey Frankie, rush this, will you?

So how is everything?

I don't wanna discuss my personal life

with someone like you.

I'm sorry.

All right? I'm sorry that I was a little drunk

last time I was here.

A little drunk?

That's the understatement of the year.

Charley, order up!

Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

I ordered a hamburger.

Really?

Wow, look at that.

Life isn't fair after all.

Here you go, Seth! Whoo!

-Pretty good! -Nice!

Maybe you missed your calling.

Oh heavens, I hope not.

One midlife crisis is enough for anyone.

-Afraid you're stuck with me. -Oh.

Ah, so. Question.

Do you two know anything about football?

Betting? Yes.

Playing? Hmm, no.

It was before. I mean, nothing recent.

That would be a sin, right?

Gambling.

I'm gonna look into that.

I'm your guy.

-Great. -If you wanna start a chess team.

Now football, not so much.

Why are you asking?

Well, it's come to my attention

that, uh, maybe an organized sport

would be good for the boys.

Okay, all right.

If you want us to, we'll try. I mean,

-we'll figure it out. -Sure.

Really, it's a lot like chess.

As far as I can tell, it's a game of logic,

patience, and manners.

Kill him!

Sanchez drops back.

Now? Now you're gonna throw it?

Do it, just do it!

Sanchez scrambles, can he throw it?

He can't! Oh, it's a fumble!

McCoy kicked the ball out.

It's a wild struggle. Looks like...

I told you, every time.

He holds it like he's waiting for a bus.

He just holds it in the pocket

against his defense every single time.

Rhonda, my darling.

A round for everybody.

Get the Beast, get Irish Bobby here,

the Big John, get Shizzy, get the Crusher.

Don't mind if I do.

Oh, I can get used to this.

Oh, that's great.

Nice. No! Look, look!

What?

Hell...

Hello?

Uh, good morning, mister Bauer.

I... I hope I'm not calling too early.

It... It seems we need you again.

And luckily, I filed your number someplace handy.

Mister Bauer!

I'm gonna turn the water on now, okay?

What? No, wait, Sister, I'm not ready yet!

Sister!

Sisters, I have more paper towels.

Thank you, Sister. Just put it there.

-Thank you, Sister. -Now look,

I wanna tell you something.

These lead pipes are

always gonna give you hell.

Heck.

Trouble, whatever, whatever.

Look, I got a question for you.

You got an all-boys school here.

Why do you have to open up this girl's bathroom?

Because Sister Kathleen asked us to.

And she said it was important.

And we're obedient.

-Oh. Thank you. -You're welcome.

Oh, it's a special project, mister Bauer.

Uh, something has come up, and I'm just trying

to find the appropriate solution.

Well, I'm gonna tell you this right now.

If you're gonna really use this toilet,

you're gonna have to repipe the entire thing with copper,

and you're very lucky the storm line

-did not blow. -Amen, brother.

That's all something you can do?

I can do anything.

May I show you something?

Clearly, we need help here.

I don't have a lot of money, but I... I could pay you

a livable wage,

that is if you would consider living here

in lieu of some of that wage

that I don't have.

What is this, where you send the bad nuns?

A, number one, there are no bad religious sisters

in my order, and B, number two,

it used to belong to the former caretaker.

Yeah. What, did he quit on ya?

No, died.

Right where you're sitting, as a matter of fact.

What? Come on!

Why are you doing this?

Doing what?

You know exactly what you're doing.

Jesus said, "Whatsoever you do"

-to the least of my brothers..." -Wait a minute,

hold on.

I don't need your charity,

or your Jesus quotes.

You know where I'd like to live, mister Bauer?

Anywhere but this dump?

I'd like to live in a world

where doing the right thing is a given,

and not second guess by sinning, such as yourself.

Okay, fine.

You need a reason for me to be nice to you?

How about this?

If something goes wrong,

it would be easier for me

if you were already on the premises.

I don't know what to tell you. You know, the place

that I live now, I mean,

-I've been there a long time. -Hm.

I am one of their favorite tenants.

I don't doubt that.

Okay.

I'll ask 'em if I can break my lease.

Oh, ooh.

Uh, of course, there are rules.

Made to be broken.

Do you wanna know a secret?

When we take our final vows as sisters,

we get to pick one superpower.

Now, some sisters choose eyes in the back of their head.

Others can read minds.

But me, I chose the hearing of a bat.

I hear everything. So,

no, these rules were not made to be broken.

They were made to be followed,

like the Ten Commandments.

While you are on these premises,

there's to be no drugs, no alcohol,

absolutely no hanky-panky.

No fun.

Welcome to my life.

Oh, uh, and uh, we decided that you were right,

and the football team is a good idea, so

maybe you could get that going

with the brothers too, huh?

I don't know nothing about football.

Two weeks ago, you're Knute Rockne,

and today, you know nothing about football?

Okay, listen.

If you want a caretaker,

I'll be your caretaker, fine.

But I am not coaching a football team.

Are you sure that's right?

Uh, gentlemen?

You remember mister Bauer?

He is now joining us as our new maintenance man.

Could you please give him the nickel tour?

I'm needed elsewhere.

Of course, Sister.

Thank you.

Oh, Sister Kathleen. May I speak with you?

How can I help, Sister Margaret?

Hey.

You got 12 players there.

You can only have 11.

You sure?

Pretty sure.

Hugs or kisses?

What?

Hugs or kisses?

Um. Um.

Hug? Wait, what?

No. The... Offense!

There's a... On the end, the zero on the end.

Erase it.

Oh yeah! That is so much better!

What would you like to see first?

The exit?

This is our library.

Hello, Mister Bauer.

FT!

-Fathers. Pardon me. -How's it going?

-FT, you're the man! -I'm gonna get that paper tomorrow, FT!

Yeah, you better!

Hey, can I ask you a question?

No, this is not a dress.

-Wait, what? -I'm just kidding.

Go ahead, ask away.

Well, why do you let these little jerks

insult you like that?

What do you... What do you mean?

Well, what are they calling you? They're calling you...

-Fatty? -Fatty?

Oh!

You don't understand.

I'm Father Anthony Michael,

and he's Father Michael Anthony.

It was very confusing at first.

I teach English lit.

We were studying Robin Hood,

and one year, the boys started to call me Friar Tuck.

Like in the book.

-Like in the book? -Mm-hmm.

So that nickname stuck,

and of course, kids are incredibly lazy,

so they shortened it.

Friar Tuck, FT.

Wait a minute. You...

You guys are putting me on, right?

Chapel's this way.

Gorgeous, isn't it?

Yeah, I guess so.

Can't you feel the presence of God here?

Uh, you know, God's not really my deal.

That's sad.

Listen, um, I'm not just another pretty face.

I have a degree in world religion, and...

a few others, so...

talk to me when you wanna learn about God.

Or medieval fashion choices.

You guys.

I get it.

For guys like you, a place like this,

yeah, I mean, I guess maybe you could feel God.

But I got bad news for you.

For the rest of us slobs out there in the real world,

He ain't never around when you need him.

What is so funny?

Oh, did I forget to mention that he's here?

Well, he didn't think you were here,

but don't worry.

I told him you'd be right back.

Funny, girls.

Really, very funny.

-Talk to me. -So, guess what?

-I got a new job, I... -I...

don't really mean, "Talk to me."

I mean, "What do you wanna eat?"

No, I'm gonna work up at that school,

-that Mary Immaculate... -Your order

-please. -All right, um...

How about a... a hot dog today, no mustard.

Anyway, that place... those... they're crazy...

Look, I seriously have no interest in your life.

I just wanna get you your food so you can leave

-forever. -Is there a problem here?

Uh...

No, Clark Kent.

There's no problem here.

I'm having a simple conversation

with this waitress.

Well, I happened to notice that every time

you talk to her, she gets...

agitated.

Thank you, Brian.

Think I can handle him.

Let me know if you need anything.

Oh, and Brian?

Could you tell Frank to rush this?

Brian.

Of course his name is Brian.

I think Brian likes you.

Why me?

Okay, why do you torture me?

Well, I don't really have any other friends.

Other friends?

Don't say other friends, okay?

I am not your friend.

I am merely just a waitress that you torment.

That is all that connects us,

and will ever connect us.

You know what? Have you heard about the new restaurant

that opened up across town?

It's wonderful.

I've been, okay? What I'm gonna do

is I'm gonna get you a gift certificate

if you promise to never,

ever come back here again.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh. Hey, hey buddy.

I ordered a hot dog.

♪ Shepherds, why this jubilee ♪

♪ Why these songs Of happy cheer ♪

♪ What great brightness Did you see ♪

♪ What glad tidings Did you hear ♪

♪ Gloria ♪

♪ In excelsis deo ♪

Oh!

♪ Gloria ♪

-Sister. -I'm awake!

Sister, have a cookie.

It'll keep you awake.

Three, two...

one.

♪ Come to Bethlehem and see ♪

♪ Him whose birth Made the angels sing ♪

Merry Christmas.

Oh, merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

♪ Christ, the Lord The newborn king ♪

♪ Gloria ♪

♪ In excelsis deo ♪

♪ Gloria ♪

♪ In excelsis deo ♪

Ah, looking good, Mr. B.

"The same measure that you use,

it will be measured back to you."

Jesus.

"You got time to lean, you got time to clean."

My old man.

Mm.

So, how long are you gonna let these boys struggle

before you help them?

I told you, I don't know nothing about football.

Big guy like you?

You didn't play football in high school?

N-O spells no.

How many times I gotta tell ya?

-Mm. -I was very busy in high school

with a lot of other things!

Oh. Like what?

Like a lot of things.

Key Club? School paper?

Prom committee?

Theater?

-Yeah, that one. Theater. -Theater? Really?

-Yes, really. -Oh.

You being a theater guy, uh...

I was just wondering what your favorite Broadway show is.

They're all really good.

Yeah, but every theater guy

has his favorite, right?

I like that, um... I like that cowboy one.

Oklahoma?

No, not Oklahoma, the...

the other one, the famous one.

A western.

Uh, Western Side Story.

Oh, you mean West Side Story.

-Yes. -Sure.

Cowboy musical.

-Yes. -Right.

Were you in it?

I was in it. I did that one a lot.

Did you, uh...

did you get to ride one of the horses in it?

Of course I rode the horse.

I was the main guy in the play, wasn't I?

That's who gets to ride the horse in the play.

-Hmm, in West Side Story? -Yes!

Now can I get back to work?

Dumb question.

Who do you think gets to ride the horse in the play?

The guy with the big part,

that's who rides the horse. That's me!

I don't even know why you gotta ask.

What do you think, I'd take a little part in a dumb play?

Hey. Me again.

I'm just spit balling here.

What do you say we forget

all about this football thing

and start a theater company?

I... I would love to see your production

of West Side Story.

I... I think it would be

very entertaining.

And historic.

Put on more patties.

They're eating a lot today.

Good afternoon, Sisters.

This is an exciting day.

Ooh, that smells delicious.

-Hello, Mother. -Hello.

May I fix you a plate?

-Um. -It's Americana day.

Hot dogs and hamburgers. Very tasty.

I'll graze a little later.

Okay, one fry, so as not to insult the chef.

Mm, Sister Margaret Anthony.

-Punctual, as usual. -That's what I do.

Hello, Jess.

Hello, Sister.

Oh, uh, good afternoon, Sister Kathleen!

Good afternoon, Sister Kathleen.

Thank you all for that very perfunctory greeting.

Please sit.

It is rare that we are blessed with a new student

this late in the year,

but we are.

So please help me celebrate that today,

we have a new member of our Mary Immaculate family.

This new student is Jess.

Gentlemen!

Jess is now one of our family,

and I expect Jess

to feel welcome.

Enjoy.

Thank you.

Brothers, Sisters, please join me in the hallway.

Please, get to know one another.

And who knows?

There might be more girls in the future.

Oh, this seat's reserved.

-Yeah, sorry. Not happening. -Bye!

Remind me to punch Johnny in the nose

on my next day off.

-Um. -Don't worry,

-she never takes a day off. -Oh.

Seat's taken, sweetie.

Sorry.

Hi, Jess. You can sit with us, if you want.

We always have room at our table

Blessed are the meek.

-Mmm. -That's so sweet of him.

Hey, how's it going today?

Better. Thank you, Sister.

Oh, good.

I thought he'd help you.

Well, no time like the present.

Wait, you have to go to Confession?

Constantly.

Mm.

-Hello. -Bless me, Father,

for I have sinned.

You were really in there a long time.

Stick it where the sun don't shine.

Hi, me again.

Oh.

I'm sorry, I just have to get the garbage.

Oh, of course.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

Oh, yeah, I mean, I guess so.

It's the Prayer of Saint Francis.

Mother Superior gave it to me.

"Where there is despair in life, let me bring hope."

Where there is darkness,

only light.

And when there's sadness,

"ever joy."

I love that.

Mister Bauer?

-Spread out! Spread out! -Oh no.

-Let's see what you got. -Let her rip!

All right, hold on, hold on.

-Let her rip. -Hold on, okay.

-Let's go. Beer over the head. -All right.

-Beer over the head. -All right.

-Be brilliant, now. -Come on, let's see

-All right, show us what you got! -Yeah, yeah!

-Over the head! -Show us what you got!

-Yeah, yeah, yeah! -Whoa!

Oh, hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, that's pretty good.

That's pretty good, that's pretty good.

I'm gonna show you how to make the one a none.

-Yeah? All right. -Check this out. Watch the master.

Save the best, save the best.

-Watch the master. -Okay.

Here we go now.

Abracadabra-cadeebra!

Slide her in!

Ow!

Oh!

Nice shot, but it don't count.

You cheated.

Your beer wasn't above your head.

See, he's a big church guy now,

but he still cheats at shuffleboard.

-That's right. -Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I... I did not cheat.

-My beer was above my head. -It was not.

That is a lie.

-Calling me a liar? -Yeah, I'm calling you a liar,

'cause you're lying. You're standing here lying to me

-to my face. -Fellas, step back.

Why, you're the one who stepped up

Knock it off, knock it off.

You guys are something, you know?

If you could just make up your minds,

it'd be easier on the rest of us.

Love each other, hate each other.

No one cares.

Just pick one.

Oh, I'm sorry.

They just got carried away.

I gotta run home quick. Bridget has a fever.

So just watch the register for a few minutes, would ya?

Try not to kill each other while I'm gone.

10-4.

I have more pressing urgent business elsewhere.

How you doing?

♪ Look at me ♪

♪ Put the needle down ♪

♪ There's something ♪

♪ You should know ♪

Cheaters never win.

Unless they do.

Bob. Bob, wait a minute. Bob.

What are you doing? That's... that's a kid.

Nah. No, no, he, uh, Jake, he's legal.

Hey, you can't touch that!

Watch it, boy. This ain't the schoolyard.

Here you will get beaten.

Bob.

-Fake. -Nice try kid.

Take this.

Go back to the school. Don't ever

show your face around here again,

or I'm gonna tell that nun what you're up to.

Oh, now who's a big ol' tattletale?

Hey, Johnny, you wanna do me a favor?

Stay out of it, okay?

All right.

Get going while you can, you jerk.

Okay.

If I'm the jerk, what does that make you?

Just the guy who cleans up after the jerk.

You must be very proud of yourself.

Ooh.

So, uh...

who was the nun?

That your girlfriend?

♪ No more ♪

Come on, let's go!

We're having Sister's meatloaf tonight, so...

-Excuse me, Sisters. -Hello, Mister Bauer.

Don't look at me like that.

It's four o'clock.

It's Communion somewhere.

Would you be so kind as to close the door?

Where have you been all day?

Are you okay?

I thought maybe you were under the weather,

or... or hungover.

I mean, you didn't get in until six a.m.

Not that anybody's keeping track.

I'm in. I'll coach.

You should warn a person

before you blow their mind.

But I have conditions.

Number one.

I don't wanna hear what Jesus

has to say about this,

because I can tell you right now,

Jesus has no idea what I'm going through

at this moment in my life.

-Okay. -And number two,

I wanna pick the team,

and I want you to make whoever

I pick play. Can you do that?

If I make it gym class, everyone has to participate.

I've seen some of the kids around here.

Not all of them, just the kids I pick.

Everybody or nobody.

It's not my rule, it's God's. He's very inclusive.

My hands are tied.

Okay, um, fine, fine.

They can all be on the team, but they can't all play.

Well, if they wanna play, they have to play.

But they don't have to start.

Can... Can I tell you something?

You're a real piece of work, you know that?

Okay.

It's a deal.

Jake?

Yes?

You are the light of the world.

-Is that Jesus? -Mm-mm.

No, that better not be Jesus.

No, no. It's not Jesus.

-Is that Jesus? -No, no!

It's just s...

something someone said once.

In the... Bible.

Yes?

Not everything is about you, Sister Kathleen.

Uh, excuse me, Sister Rebecca?

Hello, Mister Bauer?

I owe you an apology.

No, I'll go over there right now.

Hey, man.

Where is Johnny?

♪ Did you see her ♪

Uh, Johnny?

Why is an underclassman talking directly to me?

Looks like somebody's a little confused!

-Or insane. -You have a visitor.

She wouldn't come up here, would she?

- This better not be her -Ooh!

Oh!

Hey, man! You're not supposed to be in here.

This is private property.

I'm... I'm gonna tell on you, you hear me?

Would you just shut up?

You want me to treat you like a man?

Why don't you prove you are one?

What the heck was that, man?

Wha... Where'd you get this equipment, Goodwill?

Bite your tongue.

The brothers did a lot of begging

to scrounge up these costumes.

Uniforms, Sister. They're called uniforms.

Oh, right. Uniforms.

If it was Western Side Story,

then they'd be costumes.

Hm.

Good afternoon, Sister Kathleen.

Pew.

I do believe in miracles.

Gentlemen.

We are gonna need a bigger team.

Okay, that's it.

Remember, we have a test tomorrow on Chapter four.

I didn't know we had a test!

When do we have a test?

She told us today and yesterday.

-When was this? -Bro, you were asleep, man.

-But you were slumped -Yeah, you were sleeping.

Like, I really couldn't wake you up.

Oh, I didn't even notice, bro.

Yo, what do you want, janitor?

Oh, uh, I want you and your crew to play football.

Of course he wants us to play football.

We the best athletes in school.

-Come on, now. I don't know how -That's right.

You'd play without us.

We don't play garbageman football, though.

Oh gosh, do you know what? That's so funny,

because that's exactly

what Johnny said that you would say.

-What'd he say? -Oh, he said that

you and your crew

would probably not wanna play football

because you're afraid of him and his crew,

or words to that effect. I gotta be honest with you,

it's hard to really make it out.

'Cause mostly, he was laughing.

At you.

Nah. Nah, listen.

Come on, good!

Okay, get down there!

Back, back, back!

Back, back! Nice, nice!

Okay, come on! Come on, Joey!

Come on!

On the line, stay on the line, stay on the line,

-stay on the line! Come on! -You can do it!

You can do it!

Go!

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

-Yeah. -It's amazing.

Night Owl. How you doing?

-Are you rested up? -Oh yes, I feel great.

I slept four hours, which is a lot for me.

Oh. Hey, can I ask you a question?

Are your shoes tied tight?

I think so.

Oh, yeah, well we wouldn't want our statistician

to trip, would we?

No sir, that's a good point.

-Safety first. -Safety first.

Hey, Night Owl,

can I ask you a question?

Why are you in high school?

Well, technically, I shouldn't even be here at all.

Of course not. You're 12 years old. You should be in, uh...

-College, actually. -Wait, what?

Sister Kathleen thought this would be a better fit.

She felt, and I think she's right,

that most college students wouldn't want

to be in a class with a 12-year-old

who's twice as smart as them.

Twice as smart?

Probably more like three times,

but there is a point where these things

are no longer measurable.

No longer measurable?

Hmm. Here, hand me that junk.

I'll take that for you.

So I noticed something

the other day that I thought was really

very funny, and I wanna share with you.

-May I? -Yeah.

Oh good. Would you hold this for me, please?

Of course. I always enjoy a good laugh.

Me too, me too. Now,

Night Owl, I don't want you to consider this

bullying in any way, 'cause I'm not gonna

-let them catch you. -Who?

Them.

Catch him!

Don't tackle him!

Just catch him!

"And they had only one loaf with them in the boat.

He enjoined them,

'Watch out, guard against the leaven of the Pharisees...'"

-Hi, Seth! -Hi, Seth!

-Hi, Seth! -Hey, Seth!

-Hello! -Hey, Seth!

-Hey! -Hey, Seth!

Come on!

Let's just go easy on him, okay?

-Hey. -Yeah, we got it.

Who's gonna be the statistician?

Whoa, whoa, back off.

I got it covered.

So...

Someone will tell me when we get a home run, right?

Grab some turf!

-Everybody grab some turf! -That's it, that's it!

-Good. -Right!

-I know. -Here we go!

Good, good. Everybody, good, good.

That's right. Come on.

All right, listen.

Grab some turf!

Relax.

Breathe in, breathe out, and then

we're gonna do ten more laps.

-What? Ten more laps? -This is a lot of crap.

Really?

Who said that?

I said it.

You're killing us.

For what?

Ten laps?

How we gonna do ten more lap...? We just did ten laps.

Man, when are we gonna play some football?

You play...

when you're ready to play.

This just ain't worth it.

You're the only one complaining, Keith.

No, janitor.

I'm the only one complaining to you.

Yeah, yeah.

-Yeah. -Yup.

I'm done dancing for the man.

I'm out, man.

Quitting is a bad habit, son.

Once you start, you get hooked.

I'm not listening to you.

Alright, alright, hey! Keith!

I'll make a deal with ya.

A bet.

I'll race ya.

Wait a minute.

Hold on, hold on.

I'll race ya,

and if I win,

this is the last time you walk out on anything in your life.

And if I win?

You won't.

If I win?

If you win,

me,

Father Tony, and FT

will do every sit up.

Every pushup,

every jumping jack,

and every run you guys do

-'til the end of the year. -Uh...

Hang... hang on, Jake.

-Can... can we? -Uh...

Well?

Well?

-Take it! -Do it!

I say you got yourself a bet, janitor.

Let's go, baby!

-Ooh. -Mm...

I'm thinking this is a tactical error.

I keep thinking I don't wanna die.

Gentlemen, gentlemen.

You are overestimating our opponent.

Let's go!

Yeah!

-Let's go! -Okay, you knuckleheads!

Go ahead, meet me... meet me at the finish line.

I'll meet you at the starting line.

You need help?

Listen!

It is a 100 yard dash.

The first one over the goal line is the winner!

Are you ready?

Born ready.

Let's get down.

Ready?

Set.

Let's go, Keith!

Let's go, baby!

-Let's go! -Come on, Jake.

Come on.

Go, Jake, go!

-Keep going! -Come on!

You got more in you!

-Yeah! -Keith, Keith, Keith!

Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith!

Go Keith!

Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith!

Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith!

Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Today is the day

the youth of the nation take their rightful place.

Yeah!

All right! That's right!

-Let's go! -We are the future!

Hold on, wait a minute! Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

If that were true,

then you would all be something

that I know you are not!

Losers.

What?

You never crossed the goal line!

He got you, brother! He got you!

First one over the goal line.

Do we have a deal?

Yes, Coach.

All right. Get outta there, that was a good day.

Hit the road.

Oh boy, oh boy.

I never really doubted you.

Me neither.

-They're even doing better at school, too. -That's amazing.

Sisters.

That was one heck of a race.

Hey, these boys are gonna be hungry.

Oh, we got plenty of food.

Come on, let's get it ready.

Coach!

Listen, you guys.

You've really showed us all

a... a great effort these last few months.

Just wanted to tell you that we've all been...

very impressed

with what you've done lately,

and we think

that over time,

you could be a real football team.

Yeah!

But I just...

I want you to know,

they all want you to know

what's in store from you from this point on.

If we're gonna go through with this for real,

it's gonna be a lot of hard work.

All through the summer...

we're gonna do what's called two-a-days.

That's practice in the morning,

and a practice in the afternoon,

plus weight training.

In the summer...

in the heat of the summer.

Hard work.

None of you guys have anything to say about that?

You have no smart Alec remarks?

No... no comments

from the peanut gallery?

No complaining?

-Yes? -Coach,

we don't really have anywhere to go.

No one to go to.

All right, then.

Let's do it together.

Yes?

I can't wait to see your face.

Why is that?

Because your favorite customer is here,

and it looks like he brought friends.

We can go right here.

Oh, hello.

I wanted to introduce you to my friends.

This is Father Anthony Michael,

and this is Father Michael Anthony.

-Hello. -Hello.

Welcome, both of you.

Please order quickly. I'm very busy.

Charley, order up.

-This is for you. -Thank you.

-And this is for you. -That looks scrumptious.

What are you smiling for?

Because tonight...

I wanted a hot dog with no mustard,

but I ordered a hamburger with no mustard.

Do you know why?

Because I knew that you would bring me

the exact opposite of what I ordered.

How do you like them apples?

How do you like them apples?

I really like the food in there.

But that's pretty much true of all food.

But the service was kinda odd.

Yeah, I mean, if she keep treating you like that, and

gets your order wrong,

why do you keep going back?

'Cause she's my daughter.

Jake!

You look happy!

She give you another hot dog?

Um.

You know what she said?

She said I might be able to finally

meet my grandsons.

Oh, that's nice.

All right, here we go!

Let's go!

Let's see what you got!

Here we go!

Christian!

What... what are you... what are you hitting

a wacky weed? What's going on?

-That. -What?

Oh yes, yes, yes, yes.

We have a brand new member of our team.

Why don't you come up and say hello?

This is Jess.

The league said girls can play,

so I say she's the newest member of our squad.

Welcome to the team.

-Thanks. -Do you know what a tight end is?

I bet she does!

All right, look, we got ladies present.

Yeah, no kidding!

Okay, Owen.

Italy, I'm not kidding.

Anything else like that,

you're out for the rest of the year, you...

No, no. I'm not kidding, hey!

I'm not kidding.

Do you understand?

-Do you? -Yeah.

I... I have four older brothers.

Didn't have much of a choice.

All right. I wanna see

what Jess has got.

Matt, come on out.

You go and play tight end. Come on out.

Jess.

To Jess. All right, here we go!

Let's see what she's got!

All right, team! Let's go!

All right, let's go! Let's go!

All right, let's go!

Defense, man to man coverage!

Here we go!

What are you doing?

Get the ball. Gimme that ball.

Hey, hey.

You do what I told you to do.

Do you understand?

Do it again, come on!

Let's go, dude! You got this!

You got this.

Hold on! Defense,

you know where she's going!

Why don't you try to get there first, all right?

Here we go!

Pull!

This is ridiculous.

Give me the ball. Give me the ball, bring it in!

Bring it in.

-Okay. Yeah. -Got it?

Come on, come on.

Way to put the pressure on. Take a knee.

You listen to me.

You do what I tell you to do.

Maybe Keith's gonna be the quarterback.

-Are you serious? -Yeah, I'm serious.

Okay?

Do what I told you to do.

All right?

Come on!

Let's go, new play!

We're coming, John! We're coming, John!

Here we go!

They know what they're doing?

Okay, here we go.

All right, let's go!

You all know what to do!

What?

Yeah, there we go!

I knew we could do that.

All right, take a knee. Take a knee.

All right, take a knee.

That looked like that hurt, man.

I mean, they... they creamed you.

Let me ask you a question.

Does it hurt more in your ribs,

like right here?

Or... or does it hurt more here in your belly?

Yeah,

that's exactly what I thought, a gut buster.

That feeling in your belly?

That's how I feel...

when the boy I trust to lead my team...

isn't man enough to do it.

Now, how do you wanna go down?

In flames or in glory?

Here you go, man.

Thanks.

All right.

Well done, boys!

Go boys, let's go! You've got this!

Welcome to the team.

Let's go, baby! Yeah!

Jess, Jess, Jess!

♪ Hey mister Won't you wake up ♪

♪ Don't you know You're sleepwalking ♪

♪ Through time ♪

♪ Hey, mister ♪

♪ The demons you're fighting ♪

♪ Don't you let them Creep inside your mind ♪

♪ Creep inside your mind ♪

♪ 'Cause when it takes you ♪

♪ Is when I lose you ♪

♪ You lock the door ♪

♪ And shut me out ♪

♪ And I guess we'll take it ♪

Here at four p.m.,

and get on that bus!

♪ Praying for a saving grace ♪

♪ If you're not walking away ♪

♪ Then you know I'm gonna stay ♪

♪ And I will try to be ♪

♪ Everything you need ♪

No.

-So, you're not from here, so... -Yeah.

-So are you single? -What's the boyfriend situation?

Oh no, no, no, no.

Is this funnel cake as sweet as you?

Man, give me a break.

-Is mine ready? -Here you go, sweet stuff.

♪ Cannot believe ♪

♪ In what you don't see ♪

♪ And I'll be the light ♪

♪ To lead you out the dark ♪

They are all sleeping.

♪ Waiting for our Saving grace ♪

♪ And if you're Not walking away ♪

Seth! Seth! Seth! Seth!

♪ Then you know I'm gonna stay ♪

♪ And I will try ♪

♪ To be ♪

♪ Everything you need ♪

-Jake? -Mister Russell.

What the heck are you doing here?

Oh, I work here. What are you doing here?

-I'm here to pick up a check finally. -Oh.

Hey, I don't wanna be late.

Tell everyone over there I miss 'em.

Ooh. Okay, all right.

Are you all right? You alright?

Derek, Derek.

-All right, you good? -Good afternoon, Mister Russell.

-Oh, hi. -Hi.

Oh, wait.

You came over here to get paid.

-Yes. -Mm.

One check for the total amount owed.

There you go.

I sure appreciate you coming over here.

We have been so busy with the start of the school year,

and, well, all of this.

And you have Jake Bauer working here?

Mm-hmm, we do indeed.

And thank God we do.

-He's your football coach? -Mm-hmm.

And janitor, and handyman.

I mean, he's a real godsend.

I guess actually he's a...

a you send.

I mean, if you hadn't fired such a hard worker,

we never would have discovered all of his hidden talents.

-Hidden talents? -Mm-hmm.

Remember what Jesus said,

"The righteous will shine forth as the sun."

Oh, Jesus said that?

He did indeed.

And He was talking about Jake Bauer when He said that?

So it appears.

-Johnny make sure... -Okay.

I'm gonna go.

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

And thank you

-for your patience. -Yes.

Sister? You have a visitor.

Ah, Sister.

Please forgive the intrusion.

Bishop McPeak, what a happy surprise.

Oh, is everything okay?

-Oh, yes. -Oh.

Everything's great.

Oh, why I'm here.

Father Tony has been emailing me

-about the football squad. -Ah...

I used to play back in the day.

Oh, yes.

Everybody knows about the battling bishop

of Boulder Creek.

Oh...

I don't wanna brag or anything.

Amazing.

Mm.

Listen, the diocese office has been scrambling

to get them on the schedule,

but don't worry about that.

I'll take care of it.

Oh, come on, Excellency.

Surely you have more important things

to worry about than a high school football team.

Yes, Sister.

Yes, I do.

But I would still like to meet the team

and its coach.

Well, let me introduce you.

Yo, Keith!

I'm open, fool!

Johnny, seriously?

Johnny...

Johnny.

What have you done?

Just read something.

I was right there, bro.

Oh...

It's all right, Sisters.

I got this.

It's fine, I'm sure. Just stay calm, just stay calm.

Who is it?

Sister, it's me, Jake.

I'm sorry to bother you in the middle of the night,

but I'm... I'm wondering if you and the Sisters

could come to the chapel.

Is this some kind of joke?

Because I'm totally willing to break that Commandment

about not killing you if this is a joke.

No, it's... it's not a joke.

Uh, all the Sisters in ten minutes, please?

♪ Make me a channel Of your peace ♪

♪ Where there is hatred ♪

♪ Let me bring your love ♪

♪ Where there is injury ♪

♪ Your pardon, Lord ♪

♪ And where there's doubt ♪

♪ True faith in you ♪

♪ Oh master, grant that ♪

♪ I may never seek ♪

♪ So much to be consoled ♪

♪ As to console ♪

♪ To be understood ♪

♪ As to understand ♪

♪ To be loved as to love ♪

♪ With all my soul ♪

♪ Make me a channel Of your peace ♪

♪ It is in pardoning ♪

♪ That we are pardoned ♪

♪ In giving of ourselves ♪

♪ That we receive ♪

♪ And in dying That we're born ♪

♪ To eternal ♪

♪ Life ♪

♪ Make me a channel Of your peace ♪

♪ Peace ♪

Hey Jake, are you still down here?

I'm right here.

Oh. Listen.

I know you're in work mode and not coach mode,

but could you come up here?

We're trying to figure something out.

Sure.

You're a peach.

Oh, you know we're getting pretty close

to some possible game dates,

and we can't put it off anymore.

We need to name the team.

Uh-huh.

And we've been bouncing around some ideas.

-Right. -And since we're both

Franciscan brothers, we thought that if we

could come up with something

that could pay homage to St. Francis,

that'd be really good. And as you're aware,

he's really into nature.

Right?

The red-eyed tree frogs.

-No. -What? They're endangered.

-Stop it. -Sparrows?

-No. -Caribou.

-Are you kidding me? -Whippoorwills!

-What? -Go gazelles.

Absolutely not.

-Gelflings! -No!

Wait, you just made that up.

Whatever that is, that doesn't exist.

You guys, seriously.

It's easy. You gotta pick a team name

that's masculine, right?

And maybe... maybe how about this?

Something masculine and Biblical, right?

Think about it, masculine, biblical.

Wait a minute, I have it.

I have it.

Are you ready?

The Centurions.

What, are you kidding me?

The Centurions.

Come on, that's great. The Centurions.

They were the ones who...

Nailed Jesus to the cross.

I can't think of everything.

What is this?

-What do you think, coach? -Look at you!

You guys look like a real team!

This is amazing, it's just amazing!

You're amazing here!

Now gentlemen, let's party!

-Jake? -Huh?

I believe you know Bob Russell of Elek Plumbing,

our new team sponsor.

-Yes. -W... Wait, what?

I am an alumni, and I just wanted...

Uh, from long before I was here.

What you're doing with these kids is so amazing.

Thank you, Jake.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

And of course your new best friend,

-the bishop. -How's it going, Greg?

Good, how you doing?

All right, I'm gonna let you boys talk football.

Well, I got some good news.

It isn't a perfect situation,

but our old buddy from the seminary, Finnigan?

Oh, he's a bishop now?

Yes he is.

And he opened up a preseason spot.

Can you be ready in two weeks?

Well, I would've said no five minutes ago, but...

I don't know, thanks to...

thanks to Bob Russell,

yeah, man. I think we'd be ready.

-Where we going? -Pennsylvania.

Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

We are playing Bethlehem Catholic Golden Hawks.

Is this some kind of joke?

No, and it wasn't easy, either.

Nobody wants to play a team

that no one's ever heard of.

Finnigan offered us a preseason exhibition spot

against the Golden Hawks, so I jumped on it.

But remember, it doesn't matter if we win or lose.

We are playing some honest to God football, boys.

But try to win.

Right, Jake?

Jake?

♪ Been asleep for so long ♪

♪ I forgot what it was like ♪

♪ To be awake ♪

Hatcher keeps the ball

-Turn it up, turn it up! -Up field, up field!

and had room to run,

but closes in and takes him down

at the 20 yard line.

Hey, hey, hey.

What are you doing? You're going the wrong way.

-Are you okay? -Yeah, I'm okay.

You wanna come out?

-Put Frank in. -Yeah, we'll put Frank in.

-Come on out. -No, he'll fumble.

I... I've got one more in me, I think.

Well, Ryan, I would love to stand here

and discuss this with you, but I got a game to win.

-Are you in or you out? -I'm in.

All right, then get in!

Let's go!

Hatcher keeps the ball again

but is hit hard

by three linebackers on the ten.

♪ Pray to God that I was wrong ♪

♪ This is all some Big mistake ♪

♪ I lost a part of me ♪

♪ In you that I will never get back ♪

♪ Took me years ♪

♪ To finally see ♪

-Coach Bauer, have you been fired? -No, I haven't been fired.

Who is responsible?

What happened to Ryan?

♪ So wake up ♪

♪ I've been waiting for you ♪

♪ I know where you've been ♪

No! Come on, no!

Come on!

I've looked everywhere, and he is nowhere to be found.

No, he's not here.

Yes, gentlemen?

I know that when I tell you this,

I'm gonna get in a lot of trouble,

But I think I know where he is.

♪ Oh ♪

Jake, I believe your girlfriend's here.

Jake. Jake, incoming.

Oh, Jesus.

You're gonna wish it was Jesus,

because He's all loving and all forgiving, but me?

I am just one angry nun!

Okay, I'm out.

Why don't you just turn around and get outta here?

Nobody wants you here.

Would you excuse us, please?

Uh...

Uh...

Look, I'm... I'm sorry, I have to stay

where the... where the money is. You know, it's the boss'...

-Get out. -10-4.

You know, you almost had me.

You almost pulled it off.

Come home.

You think I'm stupid, don't you?

That I don't... I don't know what it is that you're doing.

I know exactly

what you're doing.

You're doing the exact same thing to me

that you do to those boys.

You're selling hope.

But you just forget to mention

that it is a hopeless world,

and that god that you are pushing up there,

he is a cruel god.

You don't mean that.

I'll tell you this.

If He is up there,

He's got a sense of humor.

You listen, listen.

You can hear Him laughing at old Jake Bauer.

The big laughing guy in the sky.

Now...

I want you to do me a favor.

This is really important.

For once in your life,

I want you to tell those boys the truth,

okay?

I want you to go back to that school,

and I want you to look 'em in the eye,

and I want you to admit to them

that they are never,

ever gonna be

anything more than they are right now.

Listen to me!

You are not gonna be another in a long line of men

who turn their back on those boys!

Do you hear me?

You are gonna pull yourself together,

and you are gonna finish what you started!

Do you hear me?

You are so stupid sometimes!

If you knew anything about me...

you would never want me to coach.

Jake.

Do you think

that I would have let you anywhere near my boys...

if I didn't know everything about you?

I know all about Ryan.

And I know,

I know that if you could,

you would change it all.

But you can't.

If you weren't so determined to hate yourself,

you would see your purpose as clearly as I do.

You were sent here to protect my boys, Jake.

They need you.

We all need you.

We need you.

How all this happened is such a glorious mystery to me,

but it did happen.

And you will go back.

This time you won't be alone.

Wait a minute.

I have to go.

Go where?

I have to go there.

Hey, hey.

No, no, no. Jake.

Y... You're in no condition to drive.

Can you drive stick?

I never stole one of those.

-You? -Me neither.

Sister Margaret Anthony,

may we borrow your car keys?

You're not driving our car.

No, I'm not driving your car.

He is. Let's go.

-Where are we going? -We are going east.

Wake me up when we get to Pennsylvania.

Wait a minute! You... you can't just leave us here.

We don't drive stick, either!

Take an Uber.

Jake!

They really are good boys.

What's an Uber?

♪ So wake up ♪

♪ I've been waiting for you ♪

♪ I know where you've been ♪

♪ Don't dwell on your sins ♪

♪ Remember the love ♪

♪ That lighted your days ♪

♪ You'll be okay ♪

♪ Wake up ♪

♪ I've been waiting for you ♪

♪ I know where you've been ♪

♪ Don't dwell on your sins ♪

♪ Remember the love ♪

Hey Anthony, Diane.

I know it's been a while, but I'm wondering

if you might have a minute to talk.

Sure.

Come on in.

Ryan... was a miracle.

In all my years coaching, I don't...

I don't think I've ev...

ever found a more perfect fit

for this game.

He had extraordinary skills,

and

perseverance,

and a very strong will.

Let me tell you what I remember most about him.

I remember his heart.

That kid was just filled with love.

He loved everything. He loved the game,

he loved his team.

He even loved his opponents.

You know, to him... to him,

they were all the same.

But you know, this 20 years that I have spent...

...running away from that night has been a...

a terrible insult to that boy's legacy.

And I gotta be honest.

I just don't have it in me to keep running.

So...

I guess you are stuck with me.

-Let's play football! -Yeah!

No wonder the electric bill is bigger than the national debt.

Ah-ha!

The brothers told me you were back.

-Hm. -I knew I'd find ya.

Well, I like that idea of yours, hide in plain sight.

But now you did find me, and you ruined it.

Hmm, and now you have to kill me.

Well, this is your lucky day, because

if I did kill you, and I probably should,

I'm the one who'd get stuck cleaning it up.

Hey, um...

You should know, I...

I talked to the kids today.

Told them everything.

How'd that go?

They're really good boys.

Copy that.

May I sit?

Hey, you know what Jesus said.

"Wherever two or more are gathered in my name."

Whoa. What?

Don't get excited. It's written right here.

Oh.

You... You got me on that.

You're such a jerk.

Hm.

You know, I've been sitting here...

trying to get some peace and quiet,

and I've been thinking about a lot.

You know, none of this would have happened

if it weren't for you.

Ah!

Everyone knows there is no "U" in team.

That is something else that I wanted to talk to you about.

Now listen, you and your fellow Sisters, you gotta

lower your expectations.

I... I'm not kidding... Now, look.

The kids are great.

They're playing great, they're

acting like a team, fantastic.

But the chances of them winning anything

without any game experience are slim to none.

Would it surprise you if I said

that I was never in this to win a game?

I wanted to win a soul.

Anyway. Remember what Jesus said.

"With the faith of a mustard seed, you can move a mountain."

Hey, you wanna do me a favor?

How about you give your buddy Jesus a message from me?

I hate mustard!

He knows.

Night night.

Goodnight.

♪ Once there was a man ♪

♪ Who faulted all the time ♪

♪ Faulted all the time ♪

♪ And when it grew time ♪

♪ To get his boys in line ♪

♪ He got his men in line ♪

♪ He said, "Believe in me ♪"

♪ And I will ♪

♪ Believe in you, you" ♪

All right, boys. Here we go!

♪ God loved the man ♪

♪ Who laid it On the line, yeah ♪

♪ We need him to survive ♪

♪ God loved the man ♪

♪ Who laid it On the line, yeah ♪

♪ Lead him to survive ♪

♪ Will it all survive ♪

♪ Once there was a man ♪

♪ Who dreamt That he could fly ♪

♪ He thought it all the time ♪

♪ And one day he flew ♪

Okay, boys, gentlemen.

Let's do it.

Locker room five, all the way at the end.

All right, boys.

-Let's go! -Let's get it, guys.

It's gotta be a difficult time for you. It's been 20 years

since you've been in this stadium.

What are you feeling tonight?

Well, um, got a lot of emotions.

It's been hard, but, you know, we've both decided

it's uh... it's time to move on.

Hi.

Mister Bauer.

Mister Bauer, this is quite a unique homecoming.

-You wanna comment on that? -Uh...

You know what I'm talking about. It's been, uh,

nearly two decades since Ryan Hatcher

died on this very field.

-Any comments? -Um, excuse us.

-I don't know... -Uh, Mister Bauer

has a team to attend to, thank you.

Oh, and uh, God bless Ryan Hatcher.

♪ Laid it on the line, yeah ♪

♪ Lead him to survive ♪

♪ Will it all survive ♪

And ladies and gentlemen,

I give you our home team,

the Bethlehem Catholic Golden Hawks!

Please welcome our visiting team,

all the way from Ohio,

the Mary Immaculate Saints!

Wow.

Not much of a turnout for the underdog, huh?

No, I think everyone who's supposed to be here is here.

Okay, here we go. The Saints have won the toss,

and Coach Bauer has elected to defer.

Now I'm really excited about this game.

All right, let's go, boys! Let's go!

Oh, thank you.

All right, get out there! Seth.

Put your helmet on.

It's a bittersweet reunion tonight

for Bethlehem Catholic's former coach, Jake Bauer.

That's right, it really is. Bauer brings with him

a brand new, completely inexperienced team here

to face this powerhouse.

And we're in his hometown, no less.

Let's go, boys!

He's all right, he knows what to do.

Come on, buddy.

We believe in you, Seth!

This is your moment!

-Come on, Seth! -You got this!

Yeah, that's a beaut!

Watch out, let's go!

Contain! Contain him! Contain him!

-Let's go! -Knock him out of bounds!

Are you kidding me? Already?

-Yeah! -That's the other team.

-Oh. -That's okay.

Get in there and block the extra point.

Aw, not a good beginning for the Mary Immaculate Saints.

They'll have to do better than this or it's gonna be

a long ride home for Coach Bauer and his team.

Come on, now! Block that kick!

Block that kick!

Get it! Get it!

-Whoo! -Yes! Nice! Nice! Nice.

You gotta be kidding me.

Looks like we've got ourselves a real football game now.

Jess D'Ambrosio on the block.

Well, let me be the first to say it.

That young man, number 88's got a future in football.

All right, offense line! Hold your block!

Check, check!

John, 747! John, 747!

And check! Strike, strike!

Check!

Hold your block!

Go!

-Come on! -The block is collapsing!

He doesn't have enough time to read the block.

Guys, hold steady!

44 stack... cover two

Fumble! Fumble!

Yeah! Yeah!

I got it!

Let's go!

Oh, I read about this.

This is called a huddle.

Saints.

I just think it's nice when they hug

-each other. -Aw.

Watch the pass!

Watch the pass!

Ready?

Cream him!

-Cream him! -Go!

Yeah!

Michael, Michael! You wanna watch the game?

Come over here into the stand!

And the extra point puts them at 13.

Johnny, Luke, 677!

Go Saints!

Huh?

Ladies and gentlemen, for this very special

exhibition game, Bethlehem's own Liberty Grenadiers

and Freedom's Patriot Band

have combined their talents

to entertain you in a very special halftime show.

Settle down, settle down.

Settle down, come on.

Grab... grab a seat, hurry up.

That was an amazing first half.

It was electric.

-Yep. -Yep.

-Yeah! -Father Tony, FT.

Sister Clara, Sister Kathleen,

we're all very impressed with all of you.

Look, you guys.

I know this is the moment when I'm supposed

to yell at you, I'm supposed to

remind you that we have a game to win,

and that you have to try harder.

But tonight is not about that.

Tonight is about something else.

I wanna take a moment.

Look around the room.

Look at the young men to your right, to your left.

Look at their face.

'Cause I want you to remember...

this moment.

'Cause you're gonna talk about it for the rest of your lives.

You're gonna tell the families that you build,

and the friends you make.

You're gonna tell anyone who'll listen about this night.

Because this is the night...

that you realized...

you will never be alone again.

This is the night...

that you became a team.

Yeah!

I love him.

The Mary Immaculate Saints may have started off slow,

but they've certainly found their rhythm.

The Golden Hawks currently lead 13 to 7

as we begin the second half

of this special exhibition game.

-No, you pick it. -Okay.

♪ What if the tallest Building crashed ♪

♪ Left his men To fill the gaps ♪

♪ Would the world look For better days ♪

♪ What if the top half Never falls ♪

♪ And the people That he crossed ♪

♪ Would the world look For better days ♪

Golden Hawks start at the 30 yard line.

Hershman stands with the shotgun.

Takes the snap, tosses it to Balkovic.

Oh, it's a flea flicker.

He's got a man open!

But it's intercepted

by Raphael at the 50!

He's at the 40!

30! Could this be a pick six?

Touchdown, Saints!

Oh, there's a hole! He found a hole!

How did he find that hole?

Centurion 768 on one, alright?

Oh!

That is the final timeout for the visiting team.

I can say nobody saw this coming.

This late in the game?

Coach Bauer's freshman team

has the Golden Hawks scrambling for a win

in this extraordinary contest.

Come on, huddle up, huddle up.

How about Mark 774?

-Oh, that's good. -What's the plan, Stan?

Well, we gotta get them in field goal range ASAP,

otherwise they still have time to score

-and to win. -Hm.

-I knew that. -Coach?

I'm kinda busy here, Night Owl.

Yes, I know. You're trying to figure out

what to run to build a wider gap,

but I think you have a bigger problem.

-Which is? -They've figured out your

entire offensive playbook.

They know which way you're moving,

because I think Johnny has a tell.

-A what? -Well, without knowing it,

you're doing something with your body language

that tells them how you're moving.

It's the same thing in chess.

Oh... I don't even know what we're

-running half the time. -Oh, oh. Forget it, forget it.

Just do what you're doing. It doesn't change anything.

We still have to get in field goal range.

You're gonna have to do something

they'll never see coming.

We've got a new player coming in.

That is Nathaniel Owens.

Give me this for a moment.

That kid, he can't be in middle school,

let alone high school.

You're going down, zeroes!

We're gonna get you!

You're gonna get killed!

Do you have any advice?

Just do what Coach told you.

Don't get tackled.

Set!

Line out, line out! Hut!

Go! Get out, get out!

Get out, get out, get out!

Yes!

With less than 30 seconds on the clock,

that run by Nathaniel Owens has put the Saints

in field goal range.

Well, Francis, looks like the Saints

had to settle for a field goal here,

but it puts them up 17-13.

Might be too early to call this a Cinderella story,

but it's certainly starting to read like one.

Clausnitzer takes the return.

He's found some room to run!

Francis, I may have spoken too soon.

They have just one man to beat!

But D'Ambrosio's closing in,

and he makes the tackle

at the 15 yard line.

Now let's see if Hershman can lead

Golden Hawks to a last-minute victory.

Hut!

Hershman drops back, rolls to his right.

He's got a man open...

Valcovek makes the catch! Can he get to the goal line?

No, he's taken down

at the one yard line.

So, it will be second and goal at the one

-with just seven seconds left. -Defense, boys!

Aren't you gonna help them?

They don't need my help.

They don't need it.

They'll know exactly what to do.

Win it for Ryan!

Come on!

Yeah!

Come on! Let's go!

Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!

Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!

Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!

-Let's do this. -Everybody in!

Hawks on three! One, two, three!

Hawks!

Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!

Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!

Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!

Ready!

Nine!

For Ryan.

For Ryan.

For Ryan.

Woo!

I don't know what we just saw there.

I've never seen a game end that way.

I don't even know if it's legal, but I like it!

Yeah. And what a beautiful tribute to Ryan Hatcher.

That really is something, isn't it?

Well, you know what Jesus said.

"Those who humble themselves will be exalted."

Oh.

♪ Hey mister Won't you wake up ♪

♪ Don't you know you're Sleepwalking through time ♪

♪ Hey mister ♪

♪ The demons you're fighting ♪

♪ Don't you let them ♪

♪ Creep inside your mind ♪

♪ Creep inside your mind ♪

♪ 'Cause when it takes you ♪

♪ Is when I lose you ♪

♪ You lock the door ♪

♪ And shut me out ♪

♪ And I guess we'll take it ♪

♪ Day by day ♪

Uh, Coach?

Yes?

Think fast.

♪ Letting you know I'm gonna stay ♪

♪ And I will try to be ♪

♪ Everything in me ♪

♪ Hey mister, I see That you're starving ♪

♪ You miss the taste ♪

♪ Of the sweet lies ♪

♪ Well you held out your hand ♪

♪ But ended up folding ♪

♪ It's like it's hard To even try ♪

♪ Hard to even try ♪

♪ But I won't give up And I won't let you ♪

♪ 'Cause I know that love ♪

♪ Will always win ♪

♪ And I guess we'll take it Day by day ♪

♪ Waiting for a saving grace ♪

♪ You're not walking away ♪

♪ Letting you know I'm gonna stay ♪

♪ And I will try to be ♪

♪ Everything you need ♪

♪ And I'll be there for you ♪

♪ When you have no clue ♪

♪ How wonderful You really are ♪

♪ And I believe ♪

♪ In what you don't see ♪

♪ And I'll be the light ♪

♪ To lead you out of the dark ♪

♪ And I guess we'll take it Day by day ♪

♪ Praying for a saving grace ♪

♪ And if you're Not walking away ♪

♪ Then you know I'm gonna stay ♪

♪ And I will try to be ♪

♪ Everything you need ♪