Original subtitles

♪ ♪

- My husband was one of the good officers.

He was one of the good ones.

♪ ♪

- He had a reputation of

really being an excellent police officer.

- All of these crimes interrelate in some way.

- He was super cop.

He was the family man, devoted father,

good friend, good neighbor.

- I never heard anything negative about Joel Kern.

- And then I got a text that completely changed my life.

♪ ♪

- He was clocking in and then going to have sex with people.

♪ ♪

- In his cop car while on duty.

- Can't believe how good he was at keeping these secrets,

having the two faces of Joel Kern.

- He had no problem manipulating family,

friends, colleagues.

Never, did I ever think my husband would ever

want any harm on me, ever.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Can you tell me a little bit about

how you found the podcast?

- My daughter, Nicole, was scheduled for orientation

her freshman year of college

and we're driving and doing the road trip thing.

And she put on "Betrayal" season one.

The podcast had really struck a chord with me.

I went through this

and I've never been able to talk about it.

To think that every one of these women

were living in such isolation

and shame and fear as a result of someone else's actions.

♪ ♪

To find the power from that pain, it was so inspiring.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

My name is Karoline Borega.

I grew up in Colorado Springs.

It's beautiful, it's gorgeous,

and everybody is super gracious and super kind.

I've always been this, like,

eclectic kind of hippie kid.

I enjoyed being outside with friends

and doing Colorado kid stuff.

♪ ♪

- When she started college, she knew exactly

what she was going to do and she went after it.

- I really knew I wanted to do something

in a social work-type field.

I knew I wanted to help people.

And so I went to school just about two hours away from home

at University of Northern Colorado.

She was very driven and focused,

but also, she was a lot of fun to be around.

She is one of those people that is just fiercely loyal

and loves hard.

♪ ♪

- When I was coming toward the end

of my undergraduate studies,

I was offered a job for a victim advocate position

for the police department.

♪ ♪

One of the things on the training sheet

was to complete a ride-along

with the Colorado Springs Police Department.

I show up at the police department

and this cop comes out to see me.

And he says that the first thing

we're going to do tonight is sit through a lineup,

just a briefing that happens before every shift.

- It's really cold and sterile and no one's saying hi to her.

And she was really nervous.

♪ ♪

- Next thing you know, there's this disruption.

♪ ♪

This incredibly tall, very young, very handsome,

with this sandy blonde hair, hot mess express.

He's holding a clipboard in his left hand

and paperwork is spilling out over it.

It's instant comic relief.

Like, that weight and sterile feeling in the room

just completely lifted.

♪ ♪

Even the sergeant's like, OK,

I guess we can get started once Joel finds his seat.

And so he sits down.

And we locked eyes with each other and it was magnetic.

♪ ♪

We finish up lineup and as we're walking over to the exit,

Joel comes, like, running over.

He said, so don't forget,

I'm your sector partner tonight.

- The cop that Karoline was doing the ride-along with

was like, this is Joel Kern.

He's clearly trying to get close to you.

♪ ♪

Just shaking his hand--

it was like lightning went through me.

I had never felt like that in my life.

- Throughout the whole shift,

Joel was just trying to impress Karoline.

Until the end of the shift.

As I'm walking to my car...

I hear these footsteps

kind of running after me, and it's Joel.

And he's got a little bit of an audience behind him.

He's like, hey, I really enjoyed meeting you tonight.

I know that you're new in town and I'd love to show you

like, some of my favorite spots around town.

And I see the audience behind him.

I'm like, I don't need to be shown around this town.

I grew up here.

And you hear them laughing in the background.

♪ ♪

And he said, well,

I'll just leave you with my business card

and I guess the ball's in your court.

♪ ♪

I drive home and my mom was waiting up for me.

And she's like, OK, tell me about the night.

And I said, well, I met the man I'm going to marry.

And she said, Jesus Christ, Karoline.

It better not be a cop.

And I started laughing.

♪ ♪

And when I wake up, I pick up the business card

and I call him and I leave a message on his voicemail.

I really did grow up here, but I would still love to see

all of your favorite spots in town.

20, 30 minutes at the most went by.

And the house line rang.

And Joel said, what took you so long to call me?

♪ ♪

So we start talking and he was like,

so what are we doing tonight?

And I said, well, we aren't doing anything

because we're having family dinner.

And so he's like, well, I like Sunday family dinners.

So Joel comes over.

My parents were so cold to him

and he handled it with charm and grace and like a champion.

And we finish up dinner and he's like, did I earn it?

Can I take you on a real date now?

And so Joel and I left.

♪ ♪

We had this great night and then we had our first kiss.

♪ ♪

After that first night, we became inseparable.

I was only 22. He was only 24.

It was a very special time in life.

♪ ♪

- When I first met him, he was just friendly

and outgoing and welcoming.

- He was jovial, funny, a really easy person to talk to.

You felt the love that Joel had for Karoline.

He adored her.

♪ ♪

We had been dating for about three years

and one night, we were getting ready to go somewhere.

And I turned around and Joel had a ring.

♪ ♪

When you get married in the Catholic Church,

you have to go through what's called Pre-Cana,

which is essentially premarital counseling.

♪ ♪

One of the conversations that we had

was deal-breakers in a marriage.

And I said to him, I have two rules.

Don't ever lay a hand on me. Don't ever cheat on me.

And he told me that's more than fair.

I agree with you.

♪ ♪

We got married in a beautiful Catholic Church

and we had a wedding of about 150 people.

And it was by candlelight and it was stunning.

♪ ♪

And then a huge reception afterwards

and our wedding song was

Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight."

- ♪ And I say yes ♪

♪ You look wonderful tonight ♪

- We had a fantastic night of just dancing

and having a great time.

♪ ♪

After we got married,

I needed to send a thank you note to my aunt.

♪ ♪

We got married in 2001

and my aunt had just gotten an email account.

And I'm trying to log on to my email account

and it's not connecting.

And I see that his email account is minimized,

so I bring it up.

And I thought, oh, this will work out perfect.

So I fire off the thank you note.

And as I'm sitting there, I see Joel's email account.

♪ ♪

And I'm looking at some of the preview lines.

And I can see that

he has been corresponding with a childhood friend.

And some of the preview lines are so inappropriate.

♪ ♪

Enough to make me double click and open them up.

♪ ♪

And the two of them are talking about

what it would have been like if they had ever gotten together.

And then it progresses to say

what it would have been like to have been able

to connect before he and I got married when she was in town.

♪ ♪

- Has he violated one of the two things

that she asked him never to do?

Has Joel already betrayed her?

Karoline is devastated.

She is seeing these inappropriate email exchanges

between Joel and his friend.

- And I grabbed a pen

and I wrote on this cocktail napkin,

saw this on your email.

Very angry.

♪ ♪

And I taped the cocktail napkin to the computer screen.

♪ ♪

And I left.

And I drove over to my parents' house.

And after some de-escalation, my mom said,

you're married now and you need to go handle this.

♪ ♪

And I drove home and he was on his knees and crying.

And I said, how could you do this to me?

And he starts saying how it was just for attention.

He would never follow through with it.

I will do anything to show you that

this was the dumbest thing I could have done.

♪ ♪

- The next morning,

Joel suggests that they go to couples counseling.

And in fact, he's already made an appointment,

and Karoline is encouraged by this.

♪ ♪

One of the things that was brought up

was some pretty significant childhood trauma.

♪ ♪

And he had admitted that the trauma

was never really addressed.

♪ ♪

And we talked about stressful things that he had seen

as a result of being a police officer,

and that him sending an email like this

could have been just a deflection or a way to cope.

At least this didn't go anywhere besides an email.

And fast forward after that moment,

we hadn't even been married a year

and I found out I was pregnant.

And I showed him the pregnancy test.

He said, I've been waiting for this.

I've always wanted to be a dad.

And we were so happy.

So you can see the baby's coming along.

And then we have a little crib deal set up for the baby.

- It felt like this was just something

that was going to bring us together again.

And it did. It absolutely did.

- During the pregnancy, Karoline and Joel decide

that Joel's career is going to be the priority

so that he can advance and provide for the family.

♪ ♪

- He's going to be a good big brother.

Our son was born in 2003.

He was just perfect. Just perfect.

And just a little over a year and a half later,

I knew that I was pregnant again.

Nicole was born in 2005.

Perfect, gorgeous, beautiful baby girl.

- You look just like your big brother, buddy.

Yes.

And I knew that she completed us.

Just five days after Nicole's birth,

Joel learned that he was going to be promoted to sergeant.

He was at the time the youngest sergeant.

Walk to Mama.

Ooh.

From a family standpoint,

the promotion was difficult in the sense that

he went onto a midnight shift.

But the pride that I felt for him

and all what he had accomplished

at such a young age, I mean, it was incredible.

- The schedule was based off of him and his work schedule.

We celebrated all the holidays,

birthdays at the station too.

But I had a nice childhood, I would say.

♪ ♪

It's like a pure middle-class

suburban upbringing.

- Karoline's son wants to prioritize his privacy,

but he has a lot to share and a lot to say.

And I spoke to him for hours for the podcast.

And so while you won't see him,

you're going to hear pieces of that conversation.

♪ ♪

My sister and I,

we were high achievers in school.

- We were super competitive with academics and sports.

And I think my mom really, like,

ingrained excellence in us.

♪ ♪

And even though Joel is working odd hours,

he's still making time to be there for his kids

and to foster that sense of excellence.

Joel signed up to be a leader

for our son's Cub Scouts.

And after our son announced

that he wanted to try his hand at lacrosse,

Joel volunteered himself to be one of the coaches.

Go, go, go, go!

Yes!

And then our daughter,

she played for a national team and would travel.

And we agreed that

we'll turn these events into family vacations.

To watch him embrace fatherhood,

I mean, it was fantastic.

- What do I do?

Just pull it up. Don't reel it that tight.

OK, I'll help you.

- Ugh! It's so gross.

Oh, my gosh, it's so gross.

Camping trips and being able to mountain bike,

he loved every second of it.

We would always talk about getting an RV,

and then finally, we did.

♪ ♪

- Our lives have changed so much, but...

we still have those memories, you know?

♪ ♪

- Hey. - Hello.

You ready to do this? - Yeah.

- OK.

- I'm excited, but a little nervous

'cause I don't think I've really seen

a lot of photos of your family.

♪ ♪

Oh, my gosh.

What's this story?

Looks like a mug shot.

That's the Joel Kern I met.

- I look at that and I see-- I see your son.

- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.

- And there are moments where I see you, too.

- Mm-hmm. - Is that hard?

- It is kind of weird to think, like,

I have my dad's hair color and I have his eyebrows

and I have his eye color.

- Like, I see myself in my dad. - Yeah.

♪ ♪

Almost every night, we would FaceTime to say good night.

Me, you know, at home in bed,

having no idea all what he was doing while I was at home.

♪ ♪

That's when I had to get hospitalized.

I can remember how terrified I was that week.

She had sepsis, and so

she was in Children's Hospital for about a week.

He had said, it's just a really bad time.

I'll come by when I can.

♪ ♪

I remember this day.

I'd been with Nicole for a couple days.

He was working some really crazy hours.

And I asked him, I said,

could you just come by so I could just grab a shower,

get a change of clothes?

And, you know, he's like, OK, I'll figure it out.

At the time I thought, oh, thank goodness he's come by

and he's able to see her and--

but this picture's time-stamped

and that same day I have time stamps of him

exchanging messages with someone.

Where he made arrangements to meet them.

He was doing things that were dishonest

and deceitful to our family

and to our marriage while we were there.

This picture infuriates me now.

♪ ♪

Prom dress shopping.

This is a man who's smiling with his daughter

in this stunning dress.

♪ ♪

Would you guess that he is the same person

that knows he's under investigation,

has been for over two months?

And I didn't know.

Does that look and smile depict,

I'm going to change this little girl's life forever?

♪ ♪

- All pictures of my dad, whenever I see my dad,

it's just-- it's tainted now.

♪ ♪

- My dad was such a figure in our community.

This is horrible.

I admired the sacrifices made

and the nobility of the profession.

- We had articles and plaques

and awards hanging up in our house dedicated toward him.

My office that Karoline decorated.

And then there's the computer.

There's Karoline.

And then she put my awards in the room like that.

- He even started jokingly calling it the love me room.

- Even during times of tension and scrutiny

surrounding the police,

Joel stood out as one of the good ones.

- Black man being detained by a white police officer

died following that violent arrest.

After George Floyd's death,

there were protests everywhere, including Colorado Springs.

And they got pretty intense.

Joel was in charge of overseeing

all the protest response for CSPD.

♪ ♪

- There were times where he was working

16, 17, 18 hours, and he was gone.

When he would come home, he would start to say,

you know, look, like, this is where people were

throwing frozen water bottles last night.

This is where I got hit. Look at this bruise.

Look at this.

Someone was throwing rocks last night.

Little did I know all what he was doing on that shift.

♪ ♪

- The admiration wasn't just at home.

Joel was well-respected by his colleagues.

♪ ♪

- Joel came across as very easygoing,

well-spoken, well-dressed.

He definitely looked like he had his shit together.

He had a reputation

of really being an excellent police officer

that took his responsibilities seriously.

He was Super Cop. I respected him immediately.

He was clean-cut, he was professional.

I never heard anything negative about Joel Kern.

I looked to him as a mentor.

♪ ♪

- Around 2011, 2012,

he had an opportunity to be an internal affairs sergeant.

- I kind of look at it now like I'm the palace guard,

if that makes sense, to help keep the department right.

- His superiors really did think highly of him

and felt that he was capable

of taking on those leadership roles in the department.

- I spent nine years on midnights

and I had two young kids.

So I finally had to make a decision.

You know what? I want to be home at night.

I want to be home on the weekends.

An IE opening popped up and I went there

'cause I'm home at night and I'm home on the weekends.

♪ ♪

- There are very few events and times that Joel took off work.

But he took off when my dad was sick.

♪ ♪

And he spent the weeks

of the end of my dad's life with him.

♪ ♪

He was there for my mom, too.

Five years after my dad passed away,

my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer.

And Joel volunteered to take her to chemo.

And in middle of December of 2016,

I was at work and my cell phone rang.

♪ ♪

And he said, there's just nothing they can do for her.

And I drove to my mom's house. She was laying in her bed.

♪ ♪

And Joel was holding her hand

and was, like, stroking her hair.

And he was there the day she died.

♪ ♪

And my mom loved and trusted him so much

that she left him as the executor of her will.

♪ ♪

And one of the things that was passed to me

was this rental property, and I wanted to sell it.

And he told me, this is passive income.

You don't have to do anything with this house.

I will handle everything with it.

♪ ♪

It's the blue one right here.

Oh, wow.

I did not want this house.

We had this discussion of,

it's been in your family for this amount of time.

Let's just keep it.

You don't even have to step foot in there

if you don't want to.

♪ ♪

- He did hold up his end of the bargain.

- He did. - He did.

He made sure to take care of the house,

deal with the tenants.

But instead of doing exactly what was asked

of him by my mom, my dying mom,

he used this as another platform for his deviance.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Around 2016, Joel came home

and he was like, I've been offered to step in

as the interim public information officer

with the Colorado Springs Police Department.

- The public information officer, or the PIO,

is the spokesperson for the police department.

And they have a close working relationship with the media.

I mean, what a great professional accolade.

And he assumed the role.

Normally in these types of crimes,

it is very complicated, very intensive investigations.

- He did fantastic with it

and you could tell Joel loved the role.

When you say a million dollars' worth of jewelry,

some people might think that that suitcase is full.

However, it could be valuable jewelry that's small.

- I thought it was really cool

that I was able to see my dad on the news.

- The sales of spice have dropped off dramatically.

- We would be walking through the grocery store

and someone would stop and recognize him.

And you could see him beam.

He loved the recognition for it.

♪ ♪

Joel had been the interim PIO for maybe half a year,

but it's meant for a lieutenant.

♪ ♪

Mid-2018, he was selected for the position of lieutenant.

The person who was the PIO was going to retire.

♪ ♪

He interviewed and came home and said,

I feel fantastic about it.

And we were all just waiting on pins and needles.

and I remember when he got the call.

♪ ♪

I knew how excited he was, and we were excited as a family

because we knew he loved that role.

It was really, really an exciting time.

♪ ♪

- Just weeks before Joel starts his permanent PIO job,

he comes home and he's acting strangely.

♪ ♪

And I can feel the tension from him.

I said, are you OK?

And he said no. I'm not going to get PIO.

The chief came into our shift last night

and I had a blow-up with him and then the chief decided

that he was taking away PIO from him.

♪ ♪

I said, you and the chief of police got into it?

♪ ♪

I could not wrap my head around it.

I'm like, who are you?

- Joel would never do this.

She knew something wasn't right.

♪ ♪

But little did she know Joel was under investigation.

♪ ♪

Joel had worked closely with a reporter

when he was temporary PIO,

and she filed a complaint for sexual harassment.

Had he crossed a line he couldn't come back from?

But Joel didn't tell Karoline about any of this.

Instead, he had an excuse.

♪ ♪

- He said, I've had so much tension built up in me

because I have severe PTSD from work.

♪ ♪

- 70% of cops have PTSD, most of which is undiagnosed.

♪ ♪

You know what you call the other 30%?

Rookies.

In other words, it's going to happen.

Every cop gets PTSD.

The job is not driving around

giving speeding tickets to soccer moms.

It's tragedy every day.

♪ ♪

And so I did find a therapist who specialized

in PTSD for first responders.

And Joel did engage in therapy.

And Joel went right back

to continuing as a midnight lieutenant.

No harm, no foul.

But Karoline was really worried about him mentally.

It was a really tough time.

- Joel told Karoline that he lost his job as PIO

because of a fight with the police chief,

so he starts seeing a therapist

and saw no other consequences at work.

But he's really in a bad place mentally.

Around spring of 2019,

we were sitting at our son's lacrosse game

and he was particularly disengaged.

And so after the game, I said to him, what is going on?

And he said, I'm having issues with our son driving.

♪ ♪

Now that he's 16, I find myself

replaying all the different fatal accidents

that I've been to where there's been a kid involved.

♪ ♪

And that hit me.

♪ ♪

How can I make sure that you feel safe with him driving?

♪ ♪

Trying to take every measure possible

just to put him at ease.

♪ ♪

- While Joel's focusing on his mental health,

there was still a lot to celebrate within the family.

- Our daughter was getting ready to have her sweet 16,

our son was graduating from high school,

and Joel and I were

approaching our 20th anniversary.

And he said, let's go big.

And then we invited friends to join us

on what they thought was just a vacation in Mexico.

- We spent some really fun days together.

And then it was sprung upon us that it wasn't just a trip,

but it was a vow renewal for Joel and Karoline

and that we were all here for that purpose.

♪ ♪

When it was time for his vows to me,

he said, the first time I did this,

we were just getting started out

and I just did this impulsively.

This time around, I put some thought to it.

- Joel was crying when he was saying his vows.

That just sticks with me sometimes.

And he got down on one knee

and he had this huge, beautiful new ring for me.

And there wasn't a dry eye on that beach.

♪ ♪

- There was so much that was

going on in their lives at that point.

You know, Karoline was so afraid

and the kids were worried about their dad,

that to go there and to watch them, it was just inspiring.

That's the kind of love that people aspire for.

♪ ♪

Our son at our reception,

he grabs a glass of champagne for a toast.

I was proud to have parents

that were still together, having a 20-plus year marriage

with the renewal of vows.

And he said, out of all my friends,

my parents are the anomaly.

Cheers to my mom and dad for showing us what love is.

♪ ♪

- When they got back from Mexico,

things were OK for a while.

But then Karoline says, Joel's mental health

started to decline and things got really bad.

And he says, Karoline,

I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.

I just said, quit.

You know, you've done this for over 25 years.

Just quit.

We'll figure it out.

I can't stand seeing you like this.

- They are working as a team

to figure out how to get Joel better.

But a month later,

Joel's actions would destroy their family.

I wanted to talk a little bit about April 11th, 2022.

You know, I can't do that

without talking about April 10th.

April 10th, it was a Sunday.

And Nicole and I had gotten up

and we were getting ready for church.

And Joel emerged and came into the bathroom

and said, hey, I'm going to go with you guys.

Nicole's face was just like, oh my gosh, Daddy.

Like, really, you're going to come with us?

Because he had never participated

in that part of our lives.

And he went to Mass with us.

It was what we thought was

kind of this enlightening moment for him,

that he was finding his faith

and finding just mental health stability.

It was just such a good day and it was a good night, too.

I've never told you this.

It was the last time we were intimate.

It was just a good day.

And I said to him,

I'm so proud of you for putting yourself first

and your mental health first.

♪ ♪

That next day, I was at work.

It was around 1:30 in the afternoon.

♪ ♪

I was in an online meeting

and I see this notification come through on my phone.

And we had outside cameras around our home

and I see that there's movement on the cameras.

And I see that it's Joel.

I watch him drag up the trash can.

And I send him a quick text and I just said,

hey, what brought you home so early?

And he didn't respond.

♪ ♪

And as I'm watching, I thought to myself,

where is his cop car?

So I texted him again.

Hey, why are you home so early?

I noticed that your cop car isn't in the driveway.

Is everything OK? He didn't respond.

♪ ♪

So I texted him again and I said,

I'm a little scared, 'cause you're not responding.

Is everything OK?

♪ ♪

And then at this point,

I see the dots on the iPhone just bouncing.

And then I got a text

that completely changed my life.

I texted Joel, "Everything OK?"

His response was, no, everything's not OK.

I fucked up the worst I've ever fucked up in my life.

You're going to want to divorce me.

And I had this panic and fear come over me.

And I wrote back, what are you talking about?

What is going on?

And he wrote back,

I was caught receiving oral sex in my cop car.

I lied about it during an internal affairs investigation.

I'm pending termination. I have ruined our lives.

And I sat there staring at that.

I just closed my laptop.

I didn't excuse myself

from this very professional meeting.

I didn't tell anyone what I was doing.

I just got my stuff and I walked out of my work.

I made it to a street corner before I lost it.

♪ ♪

And I was crying and I called him.

And I just kept repeating over and over and over again,

what did you do?

What did you do?

♪ ♪

And he said, I'm sorry, Karoline, I'm just so sorry.

♪ ♪

I got home.

And he wasn't there.

And I heard Nicole come home.

And she was just so unsuspecting.

It was like

her last moments of an innocent voice.

♪ ♪

I thought it was weird

that my mom was home from work already.

And she said, like, come talk to me.

Something happened.

She started choking up

and couldn't really express the words.

And so I said, like, what's happening?

What's wrong? Is Daddy OK?

And she started crying.

And so she said, call your brother on the phone.

I get a call from my sister.

It's an emergency.

I remember my mom and my sister shaken up.

♪ ♪

Nicole had her brother on speakerphone.

I could hear Joel come home.

And I said, you need to tell them.

He told both of the kids,

I got caught receiving oral sex in my cop car.

♪ ♪

I'm pending termination. So emotionless.

It was, like, rehearsed.

♪ ♪

And both kids just started crying.

And our son, he kept saying, why?

Why would you do this to our family?

My initial reaction was anger

and such a profound feeling of betrayal.

Our son hangs up in a rage.

Our daughter has buried her head into me and crying.

And in the moment of seeing all of that emotion,

he takes off his wedding ring.

He just walked out the door.

That was it. That's how he left us.

This isn't a simple affair story.

My mom and sister were both so overcome with grief

and it would only get worse.

- We had just been pawns in his game and story.

♪ ♪