All language subtitles for The.Wrong.Girls.2026.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-KyoGo.ENG

Little is known to us about

the elusive giant squid

and the meaning behind
the patterns

of her bioluminescent glow.

They might indicate I'm lonely
and looking to fuck,

or I hate you
and want to kill you.

We just don't know.

Our next freak of the deep,
the hairy frogfish.

- Hoo!

Jinx.

They also have feet.

- You're the only person
that really understands me, Mols.

- Which we can all
agree is weird.

Whoa!
Welcome to our home.

Welcome to our home.

Welcome to our home.
Welcome to our home.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, I'm with Quick Things.

I've got your cheese sculpture.

No.

- Are you fucking shitting me?
- I know.

I actually couldn't
believe it either.

What can I say?
I just make the deliveries.

- No, not you. Sorry, it's this
person with the cheese.

Yeah, yeah, no,
I'm having some friends over.

It's kind of a college
reunion thing.

Dude, this is gonna be so wild.

Just lots of old boobies

I haven't touched in years,
you know?

Just sagging low, probably.

Are you literally holding
a lit joint right now?

Oh. Sorry.

I forgot.

Uh, we just need
a signature real quick.

You're not gonna believe this.
An unwashed delivery chick

just showed up at my door
smoking weed.

Yeah, exactly. I should ask her
where to get drugs for the party.

No, I'm not worried
about the Johnsons.

I'm going to evict them.
It's not a big deal.

I'm not worried about that
50-cent lawyer that they got

at the Dollar General store.
Are you--

He's a fucking creampuff.
I'm gonna suck him dry.

Yeah, Marta! This door.

- Hey, hey. Dio,
you know it's not finished.

- Hey, man.
- Molly girl.

- What's shaking, José?
- Just taking care of business.

- Yeah.
- A lot of business

to take care of.
For example, this morning

I, uh, I woke up,
brushed my teeth.

- Crazy.
- Went to the bathroom.

- Mm-hmm
- I ate a Wendy's Baconator

last night. I blew it up.
And then I fed Cookie.

I did some yard work.
And then I went to Costco.

You should go get pizza there.

You don't even gotta
be a member.

You know how there's always like,
that homie in front who's like...

"Hey, where's

your membership card?"
Not out there,

because it's not inside Costco.

It's outside Costco,
but it's still part of Costco.

Mm-hmm.

I've been watching the show,
Sliders.

Do you remember Sliders,
from the '90s?

But now it's on Syfy Network.
It's not a reboot.

It's all the OG episodes
with that fool, Brenden Fraser.

It was on the Syfy Network.
Man, it's a trip.

- Oh. Hey.
- Oh, shit, what's up, Frankie?

- What's up, dude?
- Well, now that

everybody's here, Lucia's
been riding me pretty hard.

Not sexually, you know,

but like,
she's being all dramatic.

She's saying that if you
don't pay her by next week...

- Yeah, totally. No, no, no.
I mean, abso-fruitly,

we are gonna have the money
tomorrow, actually.

We're late. I am so sorry.

You've been
so cool about it, though.

- Hell yeah. You guys are always
smoking that dank, dank.

All right, chicas, I'm cool.

You're cool as fuck.

- Let's just be cool, right?
- Hell yeah.

Rent tomorrow, though.

Bye, José.

- How much rent
is enough rent?

When does it stop?

- Why'd you tell him
we'd have it tomorrow?

Did you find cash
in the fridge again?

- No. I just know that
you finished

that inventory doc
for the med spa.

Uh, yeah.

Molly...

- I'll have it done tomorrow,
I swear.

Okay?

Suck on my dick.

Shit.

I just did the math on this
and we owe $2,422.37.

Not including rent.

Ta-da!

Be careful
with the brownie, though.

I made it crazy strong.

By accident, on purpose.

Mm. Mm!

- What is that?
- I put blue cheese in it.

- Blue cheese?
- Yeah.

You're an innovator.

You gotta eat fast though,
because...

I'm meeting Mike Z
at the Mannequin Pussy Show.

- Did you hang out
with them last night?

- No, I was with you.
Remember?

- We solved climate change.
- Oh, yeah.

Hmm. I thought
he posted a pic of you.

Who do we tell about
the climate change thing?

Like, the government?

- Um, that's not an...
Frances Smith?!

- Hmm?
- Molly, why does this

- girl look like me?
- Wait, what?

Wow, the girl is like
exactly you,

if you wore glasses.

She's an analyst at
Chapman Chemical Laboratories.

She's got a real job.

Cool, she's a scientist.

- You should go anyway
to the show.

What?

Who cares that Mike Z.'s

a douche who replaced you

with an upgraded
version of yourself?

- Upgraded?
- Metaphorically upgraded.

Hey...

Who invented the Bongatron?

When we needed to watch
the Shark Week,

where Michael Phelps
raced a shark,

who figured out how to steal
cable from the neighbors?

- I did.
- And when we got locked

in the parking lot
of Party City for hours,

who invented
the parachute of balloons

- that got us out of there?
- Me.

- So you can't let some
lame-o pea-brain

ruin your night
just because he found a nerd

who works in a lab.

That is not
the Frankie Campbell I know.

Well, come with me.

- I can't.

I can't, I can't, I can't.

I got to finish the spreadsheets
so we can pay José and--

Josh is coming over
later to help.

- You know that I love you more
than Josh loves you, right?

Like if we were both
in a burning building

covered in pigeons, you could
only save one of us,

who's it going to be?
Who's it going to be?

- Wait, no, no, stay on topic.
- This is the topic.

I need you to come with me
to the show

so I don't feel like a loser.

Frankie,

you're the opposite of a loser.

Everybody else is...

just a square weenie
with no imagination.

- Yeah.
- Yeah!

- Does this say
I'm gonna kill Bartholomew?

- Hmm?
- Who is Bartholomew?

And why wouldn't
you just go by Bart?

- Baby, you gotta focus.
- I am.

- No, on this.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Baby, what's this?

- Oh, yeah.
Even though she didn't graduate,

they just like, keep asking
Frankie for money.

I think it's pretty rude,
honestly.

- Wait, wait, wait.
You're telling me

- Frankie went to Stanford?
- Yeah.

Yeah, she used to be like,
really into school and stuff.

- What did she study?
- Like, the train one...

Where you invent things...

Engineering?

- Yeah, that's the one.
Mm-hmm. Hmm.

But you know Frankie.

She just had, like,
too many ideas

and a hard time
finishing stuff.

So she had a nervous breakdown
and failed out.

That's so sad.

- She's really
sensitive about it.

So, if it ever comes up,

you just act like
she chose to leave.

Yeah.
She likes to feel in control.

-Whoa!
- Yo!

Oh, shit!

- So, you're just gonna
replace me with me, huh?

Like I'm a fucking
iPhone update.

- Frankie!
Hi, good to see you.

I didn't know you'd come here.

Why does this girl
look just like me?

- More like, why does
this girl look like me?

- Yeah, I don't see it.
I mean, does anybody

really look like anybody?

- No, it's very, very
weird actually. I don't like it.

- Frankie, Frances, Frances,
this is a coincidence.

- I barely know this person.
- Hey!

Oh!

Wait, your glasses!

I'm over this, Michael.

I can't see anything.
I'm out of here.

- Babe, wait!
- Michael? L-O-L.

How very kind of you,

but I'm allergic to roofies.
Thanks

Actually, fuck it,
I'm having a really bad night.

I'm severely in debt.

- I hate spreadsheets.

- You hate your job?
- Yeah.

It sucks. It's very boring.

- And, like,
you want to be a chef?

- For sure.
But it's hard.

- Yeah. So I was thinking,
what if you lived with me?

Then you wouldn't have
to worry about paying rent,

and you could just dedicate
yourself to your dream.

- Lived with you?
- It sounds fun, right?

Like, you could rearrange
my place however you wanted.

You know? And I actually have
a pretty big kitchen. It's nice.

What about Frankie?

Maybe she
is upgraded.

Yeah!

Upgrade me!

- You can't upgrade this!
- Yeah.

- No one respects me
except for Molly. Molly does.

She doesn't waste this.

She doesn't waste anything.

Oh, fuck no!

I'm so hungry.
What if you have no snacks?

What the fuck? Are you a poser?

- Come on, Frances. Come on,
we don't got time to waste.

Frances?

Fucking kidding me.

I am David Barrad. Boom.

Got it?

I was hired by Dr. Olson
to give you this briefcase.

Now you need to get this
to Dr. Chapman

as quickly as possible, okay?

Before anybody even knows
you got it. All right?

Inside-- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Ow!

Inside is the most important

scientific breakthrough
of our time.

- Do you understand?
- Mm-hmm.

Del Taco sounds perfect.
Thank you. Yes, indeed.

- What?
- Frances has the glasses.

Yes, they're these ones.

She's very good at science

because she works
at the laboratory of Chapman,

where she is a fancy-Francey!

- Okay, okay, but just...
- Who you love.

I get it.
You fucking love her.

- It's awesome.
- Okay, do me a favor.

- He knows.
The best ones know.

Del Taco.

- Okay, stand right there
for me in the light.

I mean it's the same

You know what we're gonna do,
we're gonna take you home.

Ah! Ugh. Oh! No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, my God. Baby...

I think that this is the best
breakfast you ever made.

- You said that yesterday
about the mini muffins

with the chimichurri
gummy bears.

- Well, yeah. I mean, you know
you can sell those, right?

- Frankie!

Hey!

I finished the spreadsheet.

I just gotta look it over today,

send it off,
and get that cash-ola.

So proud of you.

Prouder than Josh is, probably.

Hi, Frankie.

- Is there coffee?
- How did it go last night?

- Did you, uh,
join the corporate

workforce of America?

- Huh?
- What's up with the briefcase?

It's...

- Did you open this?
- No, there's a combo lock.

Mm...

Too hard. I quit.

- Come on, what if there's
like, treasure in there?

Or a kidney.

You can open it, Frankie.

You got this.

Wait. How did you do that?

- Science, Josh. Look it up.
- Whoa, whoa.

- Ugh. Fucking rank,
what is that?

- Oh, my God.
- God, that's worse than

the time we dumpster dived
for sushi. Dove?

- Ugh.
- Is it dumpster dove? Dove?

- Guys.
- Doved?

GG! No, no, no, no, no!

- No, no, Dio!
No. No, no, no.

Oh. Ooh!

Oh, gosh.

I think I stepped on this.

- Oh, yeah,
there's instructions.

This isn't even English.

Like the horse language
from Game of Thrones.

Uh, okay, so this is Danish.

I picked up a little bit
when I had a Nordic metal phase.

- Whatever, Josh.
- So this word right here,

psychedelisk,
that means psychedelic drugs.

So I think
that's what those are.

And this also says a bunch
of stuff about, like,

money, like a lot of money...

and giant squids?

Where'd you get this?

This metalhead guy, um, Dave?

I think he said
his name was Dave.

- Dave?
- Yeah, but then

he wasn't a metalhead.
Like, he was in disguise.

- Disguise?
- Wow, you are really struggling

- to follow the plot here, huh?
- I'm just trying to understand.

So you went to a show...

And then some guy
disguised as a metalhead

gave you a briefcase

full of expensive
mystery psychedelics,

and you just took it?

- Maybe you would
understand better

if anyone ever
liked you enough

to give you a present, Josh.

Molly and I give each other
presents all of the time.

- She's hungover. Don't ask her
so many hard questions.

- Okay. You know what?
I gotta go to work,

so, baby, I love you.
I'm out.

Oh, no... Don't go...

- And, um, maybe keep that stuff
away from the cats,

'cause this guy,
NotMetalHeadDave,

might want his stuff back.

- Without cat pee-pee on it.
- Bye, Josh.

- All right,
I've got it all sewn up.

Okay, I got it to her
last night,

so get it to Chapman today.
Bingo bango,

invoice will be in the mail.

Oh, and I, uh,
sent an additional cleaning fee

because she yakked
all over my apartment.

It was blue cheese.

What? What do you mean
she doesn't have it?

I mean, who the hell
was the drunk dingbat

I gave it to, then?

Fuck! Fuck!

- Don't you think there's something
a little sinister about Josh?

Like, he could be
Rosemary's Baby all grown up.

Or like, related
to Elon Musk in some way.

- Okay, we need to focus.
- Have you seen his shadow?

- Focus! We have
a very big day ahead of us.

What? What is today? March?

Frankie...

I worked really hard,

so I deserve a treat.

Think about it.

- Ah!
- I have a headache.

Skeleton hurts.

Key word, coupon.

I'm like, yeah, of course
I love cooking, okay, obviously.

But you know what happens
at restaurants?

Yelling, sweat, stress,

cocaine, affairs, having a boss.

- Customers.
- Customers.

See, this is what
Josh doesn't get.

He is a customer.

Oh, Josh is such a customer.

- No...
- What is this?

What? What's happening?

- No, what's happening?
- No, no.

- What is this?
- No.

What is this?

Frankie, what is this?

- Excuse me, what the fuck
is the meaning of this?

We've been coming here
for 10 years.

You understand
we deserve an explanation.

Frankie,
there's nothing she can do.

She's probably taking
it harder than anybody.

Why?! The Ranch!

The ranch doesn't taste
like this anywhere else.

- Hey, hey, hey.
You know what?

If this really is our last time,
we've got to make it count, huh?

- Yeah.
- Let's get sad later.

Let's slap this bitch
on the ass on our way out.

Yeah.

Hey. All right,
can't believe

this is the last time
I'm going to say this.

Um, can I have two adult

endless lunches
with drinks, please.

And you know I got the coupon.

It ain't closed.

Fritz!
This is the last known location?

Yes.

This is where the tracker went dead.

Well, those girls didn't take it with them...

so it has to be here still.

I don't care if we have to shred every part
of this place to find it.

Get to work.

I'm sorry Mr. Kock.

It's not here.

They've hidden it or passed it off.

We'll track the girls
and find out who their contact is.

Of course.

Take all their crap.
I want this to look like a burglary.

Uncertainty
in the buffet sector?

Like, is it just me,
or is everything getting worse?

Did we move?

I can't believe
they took Celine.

Celine and our laptops.

My laptop....

- She isn't even worth anything.
She's only cardboard.

- The spreadsheet.
The spreadsheet, Frankie.

Now I can't turn it in,
and I can't get paid,

and we can't pay José,

and we're gonna be
out on the street.

Vagrants. Sea urchins.

- Maybe even orphans.
- Orphans?

Should we call the police?

- No. Fuck the police.

- I'm gonna...

Um, don't call him right now.

Josh's vision can be
a little limited.

Remember how judgmental he was

when we tried
to adopt that skunk?

- Oh, yeah.
Well, what are we gonna do?

I mean, we're fucked, man.

We're two weeks late on rent.

We owe, like,
a bajillion dollars.

We have less than
an ounce of weed

and nothing valuable
left to sell.

I mean, this is, like...

This is like, an emergency.

Frankie? Are you okay?

You look weird.

- We do have something
valuable left to sell.

Are you sure
this is a good idea?

Yes.

- But we don't even
know what these do.

- Exactly. That's why
we have to take them first.

What if they're poisonous?

- Why would NotMetalHeadDave
give us a briefcase

full of poison?
That makes no sense.

Yeah, I guess that's true.

- Unless you've got
a better plan.

Something you want to...
tell me?

No.

- This is you and me, Molls.
We're in this together.

Have I ever led you astray?

- Um...
- Cheers.

I don't feel anything.

I know, me neither.

- Should we take more?
- No way, dude.

Classic mistake.

Jesus fucking Christ.
Could you please not?

I'm resting!

Is there a man in our house?

I don't know.

That was weird.

Are you talking to me?

Yeah.

Wow. That's new.

So pretty and mysterious.

No one told me
we were going swimming.

Ooh! I'm a mermaid.

I have mermaid vision.

How are you doing that?

- Doing what?
Doing what?

Doing what?

- Talking without
moving your mouth.

I have no mouth?

- Am I not moving my mouth?
- Wait, you are.

It's before.

- Before when?
- I don't know.

Never mind.

Oh, my God,
these people are such fuckwads.

What the fuck?

- Dude. I think Dio just
called us fuckwads.

Why?

Fuckwads? Did he say that?

Honestly, they
have a lot of explaining to do.

Like why they let
their weird friends

take my palace away
without asking.

There's literally nowhere
to hide in here anymore.

- They probably ran out of money
again,

which means we're back
to eating discount

mystery meat,
which fucking blows.

- I can't believe
they're responsible

for, like, my safety.

- My diet.
- My well-being.

- My future.
- My fate...

is in their dumb-dumb hands

- Hey!
- These weed heads never listen to Josh.

- I don't like it.
- Even though he's the only one

who smells good around here.

- Pretty sure they're
the ones who give us fleas.

- Basically like snails
in used clothing.

- Wait, where are you going?
I miss you!

- Wait, I love you!
I'm obsessed with you!

- I want to cuddle forever!
- Me too!

- Run! Oh, my gosh.
Come on, come on.

Oh...

Whoa! Sea World.

I may have fucked up.

- Are you thinking or talking?
- I don't know.

Am I thinking
or talking?

I don't know.

- Hello?
Frankie, hey,

you got to be careful.
There are dangerous, dangerous

men looking for you, okay?

What?

- Whoa!
- Whoa!

America is losing it.

- You guys look like shit!
- Yeah.

- Jesus, this shit
lasts a long time.

Yeah.

Well, at least
we found Bacon Tuxedo.

The ocean is just
fucking nuts, man.

- Frankie. I don't think
we can sell these to people.

They're terrible.

- They weren't so bad.

We just didn't
know what to expect.

I bet they'd be
really fun for... someone.

We'll just specify that
they shouldn't have any pets.

- We don't know how to sell
drugs like this.

We don't even know
how to sell drugs, period.

I mean, who the fuck
is our target audience?

Dang.

I've got it.

Oh shit, one second.

I have tracked CIA agents

with more predictable movements
than these girls.

- Oh!

There it is!
Let's just go get it!

No.

Mr. Kock wants to know
who is trying to fuck him

so he can fuck them right back.

I'll follow them.

-We look fucking crazy.
- We look high fashion.

- I feel like you can
see my vagina.

- Good. You know these
one percent ragers.

We're trying to fit in here.

- It's kind of quiet
for a rager.

They're so gonna know
we don't belong right away.

These people do not have
pizza tattoos,

and we're gonna get kicked out.
And arrested.

Kind of hungry.
I hope they have snacks.

- Look, nobody's ever been
arrested for crashing a party.

They're gonna have
tons of food in here.

- Get out of my head!
- I would, but I can't.

- Ow!

Uh, is this like,
a Stanford party?

Hard bail, insta-bail.
Let's go.

Can I help you?

Uh, Frankie, there's a guy.

Um, fuck.

Who invited you to my party?

- Jeff?
- Richie Rich?

- No one is named
Richie Rich in real life.

- Come on,
someone is named Richie Rich.

Hello?

- Richie Rich.
- Jeff.

Oh, my God, Richie!

Did you invite these
weird bimbos to my party?

Classic Richie Rich.

Someone is named Richie Rich.

- There's like five people
at this party.

We don't have to do this.

See you on the flip side.

Stanford, hey?

I have never heard of it.
Oh, hey, check it out.

Thank you so much.
Who is looking for drugs?

What do we have here?
Bunch of white-collar criminals?

Anyone here been
on the Epstein plane?

- You like drugs? Sorry.
- Man, this party sucks, right?

Like, maybe you could use, like,
a little pick-me-up?

- Like drugs?
- There's no guarantee.

Shipping your kid off
to Stanford doesn't mean dick.

He could still totally
end up a drug dealer.

Speaking of which,
you guys party?

- You sick fucks.
- Oh, Sandy,

it's not too late for you.
Yes, divorce is a huge bummer,

but your husband sounds like
a sack of shit.

You just need a fresh start!
New year, new you.

New drugs.

- You ever find yourself just
sitting around thinking about death?

I do.
Can't imagine how you feel.

It's never really too late
to open yourself

to new and meaningful
experiences.

Ha.

You know, people
that don't finish college,

they typically go on to live,
like, way more fulfilling lives.

My cousin,
she went to all four years.

She's fucking dead.

- No...
No, it's not for kids.

- I didn't go to college.
I have zero regret.

- But I don't know.
How cool is your kid?

- Stanford.
- Stanford.

Have you ever, um...

gotten high?

- Look alive, short stack.
Daddy's here.

- So no English?
Hmm. I got you.

I can act it out.
Here we go.

Have you ever
tried acid?

Oh, my God!

- Just I come to shock.
- Shit. No.

- I come to provide shock
and awe.

This is not happening. Fuck!

- Oh, my God, dude. What?
- Muscle man. Ooh!

- Doesn't feel good,
motherfucker.

- Ah, does it feel good
to be destroyed

by a girl?

That is six for six, man.
Would you like to go again?

Damn, you are like so cool.

Why are you at
my shitty dad's party?

- I'm just trying to sell
these weird drugs I found,

but it's like,
it's slim pickings out there.

- Yeah, probably
because like,

most people are keeping
their distance.

You know, 'cause it's this thing
he used to do in college.

It like, has not aged well.

- Go on.

- Oh yeah, me and my best friend
took those.

We had a really bad time,
but you probably won't.

I don't think so.

- You want to buy it?
- Mm-hmm.

- Fuck yes! Okay, um,
I am going to have to consult

with my business associate,

just like, for tax purposes.

Um, I'll be right back.

Okay, I come back.
So stay.

Don't you go anywhere.

- It wasn't just like one time.
It was like over and over again.

- Mm-hmm.
- If there was a dip somewhere,

he would just
stick his dick in it.

- What?
- Yeah.

I mean, like, the man literally

just like could not stop
sticking his dick in dips.

And I mean, it's like, look,
it's super well documented.

I mean, like, here, check it.
Look, onion dip.

- Ugh! No...
- Guacamole!

- There he is.
- Even hummus.

- Not cool, man.
- Not cool! Like, look at him.

Look at his face.
You know, like,

I keep these on lock
for, like, insurance purposes.

- Huh.
- Yeah, like, every time

he tries to, like, ground me,
I just say, like,

I know where the dicks
are buried, bro.

- Tight, right?
- Wow.

I know we haven't known
each other that long,

but I just have like
a tremendous amount

of respect for you.

Holy shit, dude.

This is crazy.

You're a genius.

- Genius.
- Ugh, I know.

How old are you?

- What?
Frankie? Frankie?

Where are you?

Dude? Hey.

- What?
- Hey.

I've been looking

everywhere for you.
What the fuck?

- Hi. Yeah.
- Hi.

I found a buyer.
So let's go.

- We gotta go.
- No.

- I gotta hit the road, daddy-O.
- Really?

- But you know, we would also
really love to extort your dad.

Could you text me
those pictures?

- For sure.
- Okay, it's 818-555-3331.

- Don't forget.
- Okay. Okay.

Oh! Yikes.

- That's weird.
I told him I'd be right back.

Fuck! Oh, the briefcase!

It's gone!
Oh, Frankie, I'm so sorry.

I don't know
what I was thinking.

I never should have
left him alone with it.

I just got too excited.

Everything was going so bad,

and then I finally find someone,
and he seemed really into it.

- Don't worry, baby.
We're gravy. Check it.

Uh, what am I looking at here?

Oh my God, is that hummus?

- Say goodbye to drug pushing
and hello to blackmail.

This is our ticket, Moll.

Plus those drugs,
we sketch us all.

- I don't know, blackmail
sounds dumb

and like, morally not good.

I think I like
drug dealing more.

- We didn't force this guy
to stick his dick

in all those dips.

He made his dip dick
everybody's problem,

which is a totally
cancelable offense.

Plus, you lost the drugs,
so we kind of have no choice.

We have to pay José
or we'll become orphans.

This party sucks.

Let's raid their crudité
and get out of here.

Let's go home.

They have ingested
the product and been affected.

Which makes them a lovely present
for Mr. Kock.

Disposable human test subjects.

Didn't we put our car here?

No way. Probably just
a little bit further down.

Hey, Frankie.

You want to talk about
the Stanford thing?

Just because it's been like
a lot of years now,

you know, and I know
it's traumatizing and all,

but maybe it's time
to just like,

reexamine what you want to do.

- Mm. I have a caviar ball
stuck in my tooth.

I can't watch!

-Oh, yep, it's out.
- Yeah!

- You should be MENSA, dude.

- I can't believe that worked.
- I know, right?

Shit, dude, I gotta pee.

I had too much of the Vueve.

- Me too.
Come here, let's pop squat.

I'll take care of this in 20 seconds.

Time me.

Ladies!

Did you hear that? Huh?

- Oh, don't distract me, dude.
I just pissed on my ankle.

Ladies!

Is he talking to us?

Are we... ladies?

Uh, do you like marijuana?

Because we have
a lot in the car.

- Oh look, there's a cat too!
- A cat?

Wait...

Is this too good to be true?

Actually, two cats.

- That never happens. Two?
One for each of us?

Yeah.

Wow,
very fluffy tail!

I think this one
must be a Maine Coon.

- Coming!
One second, we're just...

- Was that a gun?!
Is this about the crackers?!

'Cause I'll give them back!!
Oh my God!

Hoo! You two

are the dumbest turkeys
out here, I gotta tell you.

Who the fuck is that?

Uh, that is
NotMetalHeadDave.

- What's he doing here?
- Um, shooting a gun.

Why? Does he want to steal us?

- Hello?
Do you want to get kidnapped

by the clog-wearers
and hung from a windmill,

or do you want to get
the hell out of here?

Should we, like,
ask him to put on the radio?

- Hey, where are we going?
- Yeah.

Someplace safe.

- Well, we're away from
the guns, so aren't we safe?

- All will be clear
once we get to the location.

- What is the location?
- Yeah.

Chatsworth.

-Chatsworth?!
- Yes.

We are so gonna
get serial killed.

I don't want to die
off the 118.

This is so stressful.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey,
don't smoke that in here.

- Put that out.
- Dude, this is California.

- I don't give a damn
if it's Canada.

Put... Give me!

- Hey, hey.
- Hey! Hey!

- What the fuck happ--?

- Dude!
- Oh, hell no. Oh, no.

- I think I just did that.
- I thought with my brain

- and then I did it with my eyes.
- You totally did, dude. It was tight.

- Oh, my God, I'm a witch.
- I don't think you're a witch,

but if you were,
that would be metal as fuck.

- But it's kind of scary because
what if I curse us by accident?

- You should think,
"I wish Oasis would get back together."

Oasis is back together, dude!

- Oh, my God, your powers work.
You're so fucking powerful.

I'm powerful.

- How did these girls
happen to me?

Oh, doctor!

- Ow!
- Are you--

- I'm so sorry, David,
I started,

I scared you.
I stubbed my toe. It hurt a lot.

- Hello!
- Hi.

- I'm Dr. Olsen. Um,
where's the, uh, the briefcase?

- Um, we don't have that.
We haven't had it for a minute.

Yeah.

Oh, nej...

- This is a disaster.
- I know.

- This is a complete disaster.
- I know. And there's more.

- What more could
there possibly be?

Hey, do you think
he's a bad guy or a good guy?

Well,
I like his jacket,

but all this stuff is scary,
so maybe a bad guy.

- Yeah, a lot of bad guys
have cool jackets.

- You ones,

you took the Blaekspruttesaed?

Is she spitting
or talking?

Together?

I think she's
asking us if we're gay.

Undiluted?

Oh, the drugs.

Were we supposed to dilute that?

Ah! Yes.

Yes.

Fuck my hole.

- Fuck my hole.
- I know, I know.

- I want you to take my hole
and fuck it,

because it's already
been fucked.

Hell fuck.

Everything's fucked.

Listen to me.
I-I have no idea why you thought

it would be a good idea
to take the drugs.

You are dumb as rocks,
and you should be dead.

But, but you may have
saved the project

by effectively
becoming the project.

Wait, what's the project?

- Do we want to be a project?
- Yeah.

Let me explain.
I am a scientist

and I have been working
in Denmark.

- Is everybody Dutch?
- Not Dutch. Not Dutch.

- Danish.
- Well, then who's Dutch?

People in Holland.

- Then who's Hollish?
- No one is Hollish.

- I mean, someone's
got to be Hollish, right?

I'm moving on.

I work for a private company
called the Kock Group.

- Oh.

- And I have been
researching giant squids.

Squids?!

- Giant squids,
they dwell so deep in the ocean

that no light can
penetrate their habitat,

so they must have a unique way

of communicating down there
in the dark.

Telepathy.

Telepathy.

- Uh, six months ago,
a miracle,

we were able to capture
the left testicle...

- Ew.
- ...of a young adult male.

From this tissue, I was able
to synthesize the compounds...

Nerd alert!

Yeah, like we care
about some squid nut sack.

From this tissue, the left--

...the left testis.
And I was able to create

the drug... Blaekspruttesaed.

- Good job.
- Thank you.

- Yeah, good.
- I thought if we could hear

inside one another's minds,

we could experience
a greater empathy

and become more invested
in the common good.

You know, that would be good.

But then I realized
my employer, Mr. Kock...

He was only interested
in developing

the telepathy
toward mind control

and selling it
to the highest bidder.

Mind control
sounds really negative.

Can we go home now?

- Also, I'm pretty sure
I saw them two

move a damn joint
with their mind.

What do you mean move

a damn joint with their mind?

Move a joint
with their damn mind.

Their mother fucking mind.

I have no idea, but I know that
they were smoking in my car.

Which rat is your
favorite? I like that one.

I named him Oreo.

- Hey! Oh, you think
because this is California--

- Excuse me, you have mixed
Blaekspruttesaed with THC?

Define mixed.

- That must be what's
producing the telekinesis.

A chemical reaction
with the marijuana

that you're constantly smoking?

- Define constantly.
- Can you control it?

- We could quit any time
we wanted, let me tell you that.

- Yep.
- No, not the marijuana,

the telekinesis!
Can you control the telekinesis?

Can you... Here, move this
flask with your mind.

Go.

I want...

Ooh! Fuck!

Break it...

Break it...

Break it. Break it. Break it.

Too hard. I quit.

It's okay.

Next time, you'll learn

to develop focus
and self-control.

- I probably won't, though.
- We must begin testing.

- Uh, testing?
- I have to take a blood sample.

- Uh, no thank you.
- Wait.

Hold.

You did not tell anyone
that you took

the Blaekspruttesaed, did you?

Um, did we tell...

I mean, a couple people
at this party.

- Ah...
- But not that many.

- But it was more of like
an alumni event.

- Ah, yeah. That's probably--
- But there was one guy.

Ah...

- Who I'm pretty sure
was Hollish.

And when I told him,

that is when the briefcase
went missing.

But maybe y'all are friends.

- You are bozos.
You are bozos.

-Very much bozos.
- Professional bozos.

- Jeff Bozos.
- You are Jeff Bozos,

and you have no idea
how much trouble you are in.

The girls are now
as valuable for study

as the drugs themselves.
We have to access

Chapman's contacts at the UN.
Come on.

Uber, Uber, Uber!

- All right, one minute away.
- Okay. Oh no, he stopped.

What the hell,
is he turning around?

- Oh no, call him, call him.
- Okay.

Hello? Gork?

- Gork?!
- Huh?

- Ah, no, sorry,
we're being chased!

Goddamn it.

Gork, where are you?

What do you mean
I have a two-star rating?

- There's actually a very
legit reason for that.

- If you--
- Hello?

Hey, is it just me,

or is NotMetalHeadDave
kind of a babe?

Dude.

- Seriously,
he's so good at karate,

he's got all these disguises.

- I bet he's pretty unexpect--
- Dude!

I'm tired of danger.

- Hey, I guarantee you
we just need to hole up

in the Chill Zone
for a little bit,

and this whole Kock problem
is just gonna blow over.

What makes you think that?

I mean, the lady
in the garage was saying--

- Hey, when has anything good
ever come from listening

to some weirdo in a garage?

We don't have the drugs anymore.

We're not really good
for anything.

Now we can just kick back,
blackmail Martin Flynn,

and live in our house together
forever and ever.

Plus, we have to feed the cats.

- Motherfuck me.
- Oh!

Why is everything so hard?

Goddamn it, José.

José.

Give me one of your shoes.

Welcome to our home.

Welcome to our home.

Hey, man, what's happening?

Nothing.

I wait for the girls.

We are friends from cat club.

- Damn, fancy accent.
Where are you from? Europe?

No.

- My brother's been
to Amsterdam.

I heard they have crazy cafés
out there and shit

where you could smoke
in the café.

That's like if I went
to Starbucks and I said,

"Hey, let me get a caramel
frappuccino and a joint."

Have you ever smoked
California bud?

The girls aren't here right now.
Come on, let's go.

I'll roll you a fat-ass J
and you can tell me which is better,

Cali or Amsterdam.

- Come on.
- Uh...

Come on.

You ever seen the show Sliders?

It's on Syfy Network.
It's really good.

I watch all American shows.

- Oh my fucking God,
you dumb bitches,

- I am starving to death.
- Breakfast is 20 minutes late.

- That is legally a crime.
- I can see my ribs!

- What do we do?
- We gotta get out of town.

We just gotta wait
for the blackmail money

to come through,
find someplace chill.

Like Guatemala.

Dude, we had so much fun
in Guatemala.

You loved the maracas, remember?
You were like...

- Guatemala? Frankie!
I've been getting nonstop

work emails
for the past 24 hours.

- Molly, those were
our old lives.

It's all canceled now.

We're very important fugitives.

We're runaways.

We're rebels.

Bad boys!

- Okay, well, Josh is at work,
so maybe we could go to--

- We're not gonna go
see Josh, okay?!

We're changing our names,
we're not gonna tell him the new ones,

and he's never gonna
find us again.

Frankie, this is serious.

I'm scared.

Should I be scared?

- Hey, this is
pretty serious, okay?

Which is why I think
we should get out of town.

Oh, don't do that.
Don't, don't cry.

You know I cry
when you cry, okay?

Come here, come here, come here.

I go inside now
with the girls.

Ah, you don't want
to kick it?

Let's go around front.

I'm building a badass gazebo
in the back yard.

Do you like meditating?

That's where I meditate,
in the gazebo.

It's really cool out there.

Okay,
let's go see Josh

so you can say goodbye,
and then we need to get

the fuck out of here.
Right now,

snacks, cats, weed, go.

Oh, I hate to waste those.

I have some notes
on these sandwiches.

Hey, what are you--
What are you doing?

Shut up, Dio.

Unhand me!

Wait, is this like
a vet thing?

Are we going to the vet?

I promise you
they cannot afford the vet.

Hey!

Why is this closed?!

Uh, Frankie, we should go.

- Trying to get us some tunes.
- Anything but ABBA.

- I'm so sick of ABBA.
- Don't listen to him.

I love ABBA.

Yeah, it's just

this feels like, time sensitive.

- I think you have to update
your phone, dude.

- Let's just listen
to the radio.

Celine!

This makes me emotional.

Oh shit
Oh shit!

Driving. Frankie driving.
I hate when she drives!

The losers
have escaped with my car.

They are on the move, I am stuck.

Can you come get me?

Uh, hello?

Josh, hi!
How's it going?

I'm so happy to see you.

- Whose car is that?
- Go inside.

- That's a really--
- In, in, in, in.

- Okay, okay, okay.
What is going on?

Is this the vet? This vet looks sketchy
as hell, like really unsanitary.

Josh.

- Joshie, I'm sorry...
- You weren't my first choice, okay?

- There's been a lot going on, all right?
People are trying to kill us for science.

- There are Vikings. With guns. Kocks.
- We have telepathy now.

- And we have to go to Mexico.
- They wanna do experiments on us

- because we're special now.
- The cats are dicks.

- We took those drugs with giant squids.
- Is it okay if we hide out here

so we can blackmail this guy?
She always likes me.

- More than she likes you.
- I just don't want you to get hurt.

What the fuck?!

Guys, get up.

Come on,
it's just sound Sound Design.

There's a show later,

and this band, they got this
intro where they're just

like, killing a bunch
of police officers.

Oh, dang.

- Okay, how about we go
talk in the office?

Okay?
Uh, what's in the office?

Why do we have to go there?

Only bad things happen
in offices!

Hook up
the motherfuckin' treats!

Language.

Treat time, bitch.
I'm stress eating.

I am eating my feelings.

- Hey, can I have your phone?
- Oh, yeah.

- I'm gonna start
the blackmail business.

Huh!

-Hey, baby.
- Hi.

So, um...

just want to ask...
Don't be offended.

Did you and Frankie
really take those drugs?

All this
is so fucked.

Um, yeah.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

- Yeah, yeah.
'Cause I think you just like,

might be having a mental health
event right now.

I'm just worried, yeah.

We know that
you got freaky

with those dips in the '80s.

Dips cannot consent,
nor can the people eating them.

- No, no.

Okay, I know, but no.

I saw them.
There are dudes.

They have guns, and they're
coming after us for no reason.

It's like...
I mean, there's a reason,

but anyways, ah,
it's like a whole big thing.

- Molly?
- Yeah?

- How much should we ask for? A million?
- No. That seems like too much.

$20,000 ought to do it.

Baby, you sound crazy.

Come on, look at me.

Look at the cats.

Ah, you're in a bag.
Look at you, dork.

You are also stuck
in a bag right now, dork.

The cats are in backpacks.

Think about that.

Yeah.

Let me take you home.

Yeah.

Give us $2 million
or else. Mm-hmm.

And by the way,
it's not even that cool

that you went to Stanford,
so you don't have to keep

lording it over everyone
by hosting lame

alumni events
with too much cheese.

Delete the last part.

Okay.

Frankie, I am not
going to Guatemala.

What?

- I think those drugs
really fucked us up,

made us paranoid and stuff.

I just need to get some sleep.
You should too.

Josh is gonna take me home now.

You, what did you say to her?

- Guys, what the fuck
is going on?

- Sorry.
- I can't even believe

you're considering
ditching me right now.

Ditching me, when really,
this is all your fault.

My fault?

- I mean, you were the one
that forced me

to go to the Mannequin Pussy
show all by myself.

And you didn't have
the rent money, dude.

- Well, I would have had money
for the rent

- if my laptop hadn't gone stolen.
- And you lost the briefcase. Ha!

Oh...

- So I guess if you think about it, I'd be like
completely fine if it wasn't for you.

And it's probably for the best
that you were just gonna

move in with Josh
and not even tell me about it.

I hadn't decided yet.

Well, I think you should.

I was gonna suggest it myself.

In fact, I think
it's become clear

that you've been
holding me back.

I've been holding you back?

Oh, fuck,
she did the scary laugh.

Guys, I didn't want to imply

that anybody's holding
anybody back.

- You both love each other.
- You know what, Frankie?

I have gone along with every
one of your fuckwad ideas.

Let's set off fireworks
in Andy Sigal's living room.

Hmm? Let's have a contest to see

who can drink the most
5-Hour Energies.

- You won that contest!
- Nobody won that contest.

But the truth is that

ever since you failed
out of Stanford,

you have no focus and no goals,

and you quit everything
that's hard

because you're scared
that if you ever actually

tried at anything,
you'd fail again.

- You are...
lazy and delusional.

If it wasn't for me,

they would find you
buried under the debt

of a million kitchen appliances

pretending to be a chef,
and we all know

you're just
a stoned girl in a house.

You sabotaged me

because you don't want to be
a fuck-up alone.

I am tired of being
dragged down with you.

So if we don't get
murdered first...

I am going to move out.

Great. What a relief.

Then I could just
get back on track.

- Yeah.
- Back on the track to success!

I apologize, Mr. Kock.

We're picking up the lab rats now.

Olsen fled the lab so backup is meeting us
at the warehouse.

See you at the dock.

I'm tired of chasing these bongloads.

This is game over.

-What the hell?!
- Come on, babe, let's go.

- It's just the intro
for the band.

You were the one that told us
that in the first place.

Yeah, but soundcheck's over.

- Josh.
Josh!

- Josh?
- I knew we could trust Josh.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Get back. Get back.

-Whatever's going on...
- Fritz!

- We can figure it out.
- Stand by the wall, hands up.

Get moving.

- You're such a fucking loser,
Frankie.

Here we go again.

Molly.

Bind him fast.

You can shoot them,
but not me.

Whatever they did,
I had nothing to do with it!

You are such
a fucking pussy, man.

Yeah, well, you're a dumbass.

- You're a bitch.
- Oh!

- Oh, you're a bitch.
- Oh, you're a double bitch.

- Hey, hey, watch,
watch the cat.

Wait, Dio,
I'm sorry I talked shit.

Where are you going?
Please don't leave me.

- Hello, I must speak
with DeeDee at once. Ah!

This is so freaky.
What the fuck?

You look like the other one.
You are the other one.

What the fuck?

Astrid?

Yes, we have problems.

Molly!

I want to go home.

Yeah, I'll give you this one.
This actually is scary.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Okay, you want the vom,
you'll get the vom.

Uh, fuck you?

Ow, ow.

No, no, no.

- Hey!
- Hey, that could've been Josh.

You may have had fun
dragging us all over this smoggy,

disgusting town.

But I cannot oversell how fucked you are.

- "Lino."

I still don't understand Hollish,

but I just want to put it
out there

that I know we haven't been
on the same page,

and I'm really sorry.

But I see you and I hear you,

and I'm gonna try really hard

to make better choices
in the future.

Shut the fuck up!

Frankie?

Hello? I'm sideways!

So we're gonna go by boat?

- Yes.
- How long does that take?

- We're gonna take a small boat,
and then we'll take a big boat.

- Little boat, big boat.
- Yes,

- and it'll take about two weeks.
- Shh!

Mmm...

- My bag smells like
a dispensary.

- Can I have a snack first?
Hungry. Snack.

I have brownies in my backpack.

Brownies are in my backpack.

Can I... Oh, please!

I can't reach them.
I can't reach.

Please, go it for me. Please!
Do anything for brownies.

What's the harm?

Um, no. No way. Frankie,

do not let this weird
foreigner jostle me.

Don't jostle the cat.

- He's touching my hair!
He's giving me his germs!

Thank you.

Mmm!

Oh! So excited!
These are so good!

Dude. Mmm!

Molly's a genius. Blue cheese.

Mmm! Yes!

Mmm... Oh, you, uh...

Do you want some of this?

I'll share.

Oh, come on, little buddy.

Oh, you can do it.
Come on, you're so close.

No, seriously, I think it like,

moved an inch that time.
Very, very close.

You know what, Dio,

if you don't have
anything helpful to say,

just don't say anything, okay?
Thank you.

- Ugh!
- Oh, that's right,

give up on this just like
you give up on your dreams.

This is a metaphor!

I can't understand you!

One time Axel got drunk

and then he peed
on our coworker.

Then he blamed it on, on a...

Ah... You don't have
a version in the US.

It's like a very dense bread,
with pickled fish.

- Ah.
- We say we like it,

but I don't know,
does anyone really like it?

I... I think I need to rest.

I-I need...

Fucking lightweights.

Okay...

Okay...

Weed, weed, weed, weed,
weed, weed, weed.

Weed, weed, weed, weed, weed,
weed, weed. Telekinesis!

Focus! Frankie, focus!

Telekeniss... Ah!

Oh! Yo!

Yo...

Molly!

Molly, can you hear me?

Why did Molly have to make
those brownies so fucked up?

Does anyone need
to be this high?

You are driving this
backpack under the influence,

and I'm actively at risk
with no agency at all.

GG...

You need to go find Molly

and tell me how to get there.

Absolutely fucking not.

- Now you listen to me, fuckwad.
- Oi!

- I've done everything for you,
literally your entire life.

I've fed you,
I've cleaned up your shit,

I provided catnip
and a palatial estate

without asking
for anything back.

- Objection!
- And now's your time

to return the favor.

Molly and Dio need us.

- Still no.

- GG, come on!
- You come on.

This is your chance.

This is your chance to prove
to Dio

- that you're not a quitter.
- Yes, I am.

Okay, let's move. The boat is...

No. No, no!

No! No!

What the fuck is this?

Oh, my God, I'm so scared.
This is a nightmare, an actual nightmare.

I'm going to report you
to PETA for this.

I think that fear
might be holding us back.

- Fear is my most
useful quality.

It has saved me
from stranger danger,

catnapping, owls, the vacuum!

I believe in you, GG.

I know we're not just
a selfish fraidy cat.

- Yes, I am.
- No, we're not!

- Yes, I am.
- We are not!

Yes, I am.

No, I'm not. No, I'm not.

No, I'm not!

- Oh, GG, God.
- I have balls.

I have chutzpah. Look at me!

I'm flying! I'm brave!

I'm basically Vin Diesel!

You can tell Dio he's the pussy
and I'm the hero!

That's my kitty!

Are you fucking high?

Come on. Come the fuck on.

Where the fuck are the girls?

Ah! Fuck this.

You're on your own.
Thanks for the memories.

The kitty!

It's getting away!

I never should've
said that stuff to Frankie.

That was so mean

and clearly a projection
of my own fears of failure.

We're partners, soulmates.

She's the Bert to my Ernie.
The Hall to my Oates.

I think we can likely
trace your fear of restaurants

to too many episodes
of Kitchen Nightmares,

but for every Gordon Ramsay,
there's a Bobby Flay.

Josh just wants
what's best for us.

Shut up, Dio.

I've come to rescue you, dude!

Oh, my God!

Oh, we're fucked.
We're so fucked.

- And give you
this fucked up brownie

that gives you superpowers
because you are my girl.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God.

This is the happiest
I've ever been.

Get off her!

- Where's Josh? I want Josh
to rescue me instead.

- Dude, some jabroni

has been calling me
over and over and over again

like some psycho torture shit.

- Come on Dio,
let's go find GG, buddy.

You're gonna love Guatemala.

We're never gonna get there.

- Um, dude, did you send
that blackmail letter

for Martin Flynn
from my email address?

Because his lawyer sounds mad.

Like super, super, super mad.

- I didn't actually think that plan out
super thoroughly at the time.

- Fuck!
- Motherfuck!

Oh, God! Molly, I'm so sorry.

I really thought
I could get us out of here.

I knew it.
I knew you no Guatemala.

Dio?

You're a California guy.

You don't want to learn Dutch.

And you'll be safer here, okay?

That is true.

- I love you.
- This is tough love, dude.

It hurts me more
than it hurts you.

Bye. No, don't eat that.

- I'm rooting for you, though.
Good luck in the lab!

Oh, my God...

- Oh!
- Man!

You coming?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.

I don't feel well!

-Run.
- Oh, okay.

- Our stuff!
- Those thieving motherfucks!

Come on!

Over here!

Come on, come on!

Hello?

If we can't have you alive,
we will have you dead!

Shoot!

Here, take this gun.

- Oh, no.
- What do you mean, no?

- I'm not even allowed to use the oven.
I can't have a gun!

- Oh, my God.
All right, here, you take it.

- Also no.
- What the fuck is wrong with y'all?

- Dude, guns are such
a bad vibe.

I've signed like 100 petitions.

- Murder? We're not gonna
do murder, dude. I'm sorry.

- No, fuck the NRA.
Gun control now.

- Okay, okay.
Do you two want to be

turned into some
weird herring-type dip sauce

with mayonnaise in it and shit?
Is that what you want?

- No!
- Take the gun.

No!

- Don't go over there.
Don't, Do not go.

- Oh, my God!
- No, no.

- Oh...
- Oh...

We're weed witches.

Fuck this violent bullshit.

Why are you guys like this?

So aggro and intense and dark.

Did the tooth fairy not come?

Did your mom give you
a lame haircut?

Maybe you'd be happier
if you wore socks.

You are what we call a buzzkill.

But now you will have fun.

Whether you like it or not.

Bro.

Nobody likes a guy
with a gun

chugging Haterade
and shooting stuff

and bumming everyone out.

- Nobody likes that guy.
- Yeah!

It's just a job?

You could be partying.

You could be eating tacos.

You could be napping!

You could love someone.

You could have a best friend.

- Frankie. No, no, no,
no, no. Get up. Get up.

You're okay. You're okay.
Okay. You're alive. Cool.

Oh. Hello.

- Whoa, okay, back up,
back up, back up, back up.

You good?

- Is it that weird
that I would think

that you'd want to kiss me?
I can move things with my mind.

- No, Frankie,
you don't understand.

You a hot-ass mess, girl.
It would not happen.

Truly. Honestly.
Not a chance.

The idiot is mine!

No!

- It's not working anymore.
I'm all out of brownie.

Frankie, I'm so scared.
I don't want to die.

If you come closer,
I'll blow her brains out.

Hey,

- Take me instead.
- What? No, Frankie, no.

Yes, Molly,

- this is literally all my fault.
- No!

- This is fucking happening.
I love you more than anything.

I'm not holding you back anymore,
let's go! Take me! Come on!

Come on, come on.

No, you can't leave me.

- You clean up after me all the time.
It's my turn, dude.

- All right.
- No!

I won't let you go! Frankie!

- Come.
- I love you.

- I love you.
- I love you.

Mr. Kock!

- I love you.
- I love you.

- I love you.
- I love you.

I love you. I love you.
I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you.

I love you,
I love you, I love you.

Mr. Kock! Here!

What in the hell was that?

Dude, what the fuck?
That was metal as fuck!

- Are we superheroes now?
Like, squid heroes?

You're my squid hero for sure.

Molls!

It's over.

Hey!

I wondered
where that guy went.

Mmm, that was like,
private.

Oh.

This is some real
oppressive signage, dude.

This is government shit.
We get it.

Hey.

- Federal building!
- Oh!

I wanted
to pee before.

- Girls, this is my dear friend
and colleague, Dr. Chapman.

She's been very anxious
to meet both of you.

Hi.

- Oh, my God,
they really do

look weirdly alike.

Yes, it's just remarkable.

- Would you say
I'm the upgraded version of her,

or she's the upgraded
version of me?

Um, uh... We like the, um,

you are the better girl.

You're the,
you're the better one.

We like you more. Yes.

- Sit and...
- Please.

- Welcome.
I was able to convince

members of the UN,
United Nations,

that the two of you
are deeply involved,

intrinsically so,

in the most important
scientific discovery

breakthrough of our time.

You think she's gonna
get to the point soon?

- Geez!
- That could lead directly

to world peace.

They have decided to fully
fund our project.

- We must determine the effect
of the Blaekspruttesaed,

of course, on you,
so that we can recreate it.

You know, I've been thinking,

you should move in
with Josh, dude.

- Assure you that the...
- He objectively rocks.

- Testing will not harm you...
- I was being crazy.

I'm gonna move out of the chill zone.
I'm gonna get my own place.

I'll just sleep on your couch
like one night a week,

or like two to five
nights a week.

- You are incredibly
valuable assets.

- As many nights as you want.
Frankie, I'm gonna miss you.

I know, me too.

- But this is a good thing.
- $400,000.

- I'm just gonna
figure my shit out.

- $300,000.
- You will.

Two? One, one...

$100,000.

We could have joint
custody of the bongatron.

Jinx.

More than I make.

A lot more than I make.

Besides the three to four days

that you will be spending
in our facilities at Stanford,

you can go about
your lives as usual.

Did you just say Stanford?

- That's where the laboratory
is located. Is that a problem?

Lab?

Wait, wait, wait.

Could you start over?

I'm sorry.

- I'm really, I'm sorry.
- No.

We are offering you
$100,000 each

per year, 24-hour protection,

and diplomatic immunity,
you know, if you have any

legal difficulties
that you need, uh, addressing.

- Yes.
- I'm not surprised.

All of that
is if you participate

in our scientific testing.

- Scientific testing...
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

...at Stanford.

Yes. Stanford.

Dude.

- Here. Here you go.
- Just sign this. Sign.

Just sign the papers.

Where all the little tabs are.

I'll take this part.

Oh, okay. Oh, okay.

- Hold on. Sign here.
- I've never really done this.

Oh. Okay. That's fine.

What'll you do
with the money, girls?

- All right, here you go,
ma'am. Bong Appetit.

- You will not regret
the toothpaste, dude.

Seriously, it elevates
the whole experience

into this, like, minty heaven.

Sold.

I was almost scared
of that guy, but then I wasn't.

Very brave, GG.
Very, very brave.

No fear.

Frankie.

Look, I gotta say that
I am just

as surprised as anyone else,

but I guess as you change
and grow, so does your taste.

Oh, this guy.

Look, I gotta be honest,

I just, um,
can't stop thinking...

- Yo, let me save you
some time here, bro.

- Yeah!
- If you cannot handle me

at my college dropout,
covered in cat hair,

thousands of dollars in debt,
deadbeat,

you do not deserve me
at my international property,

subject of scientific
top-secret testing at Stanford,

- business owner.
- Boom, bitch!

I can't stop thinking about...

- the sandwich.
- Balls.

- The one, the one
that was in, uh, in Molly's bag.

I ate it on the way back
from the warehouse.

It was fucking amazing.

The potato salad?

It's been haunting me
ever since, really.

- Delicious.
- $6.69, cash only.

Fuck me.

- There you go.
- I know it's dirty,

but I love money.

Yo, one escape
for frickin'

NotMetalHeadDave, who came
all the way down here

just to dunk on me at work.

Whip this fuckwad up
something special, will ya?

You got it, chick.

Yoink!

- Ah!
- Butthole!

- That's the worst chopping
I've ever seen.

Completely uneven.
Molly, we're gonna have

to fire this guy.

- Frankie, that guy's
a bonehead. Excuse my language.

Anybody who was actually cool
would be frantic to date you.

- Thank you, Josh.
I agree.

Justice for Frankie Campbell.

- Okay! What else?
- He's gonna dig that.

- Fucking freak.
Fucking freak1

Should I put some toothpaste?

- No, are you fucking
kidding me?

- He doesn't get toothpaste.
- He doesn't get toothpaste.

He doesn't get toothpaste.

What else?

It's my birthday.

Oh, no.

I think all the scientists
trying to make

weed stronger really have
their focus in the wrong place,

'Cause weed is strong enough,
I mean,

I'm literally
high as fuck all the time.

What we need to do is...

We need to breed out
the compound

that's giving us cottonmouth.

Yeah.

There's, like, no way
they can't do that, right?

Dude,
that's a trillion-dollar idea.

- I know.
- You're a genius.

I know.