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00:00:01,290 --> 00:00:04,691
NARRATOR: Kids, in the spring of 2011,Zoey and I broke up.
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00:00:04,708 --> 00:00:06,009
But the good news:
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00:00:06,010 --> 00:00:07,310
Goliath National Bank
4
00:00:07,311 --> 00:00:09,712
was finally readyto demolish The Arcadian
5
00:00:09,713 --> 00:00:11,748
and build the new headquarters
I'd designed for them.
6
00:00:11,749 --> 00:00:13,466
Ho!
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00:00:13,467 --> 00:00:15,885
The only problem was--I kept butting heads
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00:00:15,886 --> 00:00:18,955
with my project supervisoron one very important issue.
9
00:00:18,956 --> 00:00:21,024
I want to press the button
to blow up The Arcadian!
10
00:00:21,025 --> 00:00:22,826
I want to press it!
I want to press it!
11
00:00:22,827 --> 00:00:24,060
I want to press it!
12
00:00:24,061 --> 00:00:25,562
Guys, I dated
you both,
13
00:00:25,563 --> 00:00:27,263
and neither of you
is good at pressing
14
00:00:27,264 --> 00:00:29,232
or even finding
the button.
15
00:00:29,233 --> 00:00:30,433
After some awkward
pawing around,
16
00:00:30,434 --> 00:00:32,285
that building's going
to fake an implosion,
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00:00:32,286 --> 00:00:35,505
say, "Baby, that was great""
and go to sleep.
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00:00:36,173 --> 00:00:38,041
She means you.
She means you.
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00:00:38,042 --> 00:00:39,793
I want to press it.
I want to press it!
20
00:00:39,794 --> 00:00:41,578
I'm gonna press it!
I'm gonna press it!
21
00:00:41,579 --> 00:00:43,146
It's just a button, okay?
22
00:00:43,147 --> 00:00:45,215
Can we just talk about
something else, please?
23
00:00:45,216 --> 00:00:46,382
(sighs)
24
00:00:46,383 --> 00:00:48,985
Well, I ran into Zoey yesterday.
25
00:00:48,986 --> 00:00:50,220
Oh.
Oh.
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00:00:50,221 --> 00:00:52,122
That's the first time
since the breakup.
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00:00:52,123 --> 00:00:53,790
How's she doing?
28
00:00:53,791 --> 00:00:55,225
I'm still unemployed,
29
00:00:55,226 --> 00:00:57,227
so I had to get
a couple roommates.
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00:00:57,228 --> 00:01:00,346
Saving money.
Making new friends.
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00:01:00,347 --> 00:01:01,998
No downside.
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00:01:01,999 --> 00:01:03,433
They're all 22 and sell drugs.
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00:01:03,434 --> 00:01:05,735
Which means they're
not taking them.
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00:01:05,736 --> 00:01:08,771
So, that's a win.
35
00:01:09,607 --> 00:01:11,140
Well, I can tell
you're really busy
36
00:01:11,141 --> 00:01:13,326
so I should...
I'll let you go.
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00:01:13,327 --> 00:01:15,078
Hey.
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00:01:15,079 --> 00:01:17,030
You want to get coffee
sometime?
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00:01:17,031 --> 00:01:19,782
You know that "coffee" is code for
"I want to get back together" right?
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00:01:19,783 --> 00:01:21,084
Well, at first I wasn't sure,
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00:01:21,085 --> 00:01:23,753
but then she said something
that got me thinking.
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00:01:23,754 --> 00:01:25,188
I want to get back together.
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00:01:25,189 --> 00:01:26,990
Oh!
Oh!
44
00:01:26,991 --> 00:01:28,291
Don't worry, we're not.
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00:01:28,292 --> 00:01:30,226
I just, I feel bad Zoey's
having such a hard time.
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00:01:30,227 --> 00:01:34,130
You know what might...
make you feel better, buddy?
47
00:01:34,131 --> 00:01:35,365
I'm not letting you
press the button.
48
00:01:35,366 --> 00:01:36,733
I want to press
the button!
49
00:01:36,734 --> 00:01:38,268
You're not pressing the
button! It's my button!
50
00:01:38,269 --> 00:01:39,969
Sadly, that's all you needto know about my summer.
51
00:01:39,970 --> 00:01:41,971
Now, around this time,Uncle Marshall
52
00:01:41,972 --> 00:01:44,507
was still having a tough timefinding a job.
53
00:01:44,508 --> 00:01:46,376
He's out printing out a
whole new batch of r�sum�s
54
00:01:46,377 --> 00:01:49,145
because he misspelled the phrase
"detail-oriented."
55
00:01:49,146 --> 00:01:51,064
And when he gets back home,
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00:01:51,065 --> 00:01:52,849
he is going to find
his favorite soup
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00:01:52,850 --> 00:01:53,883
there waiting for him.
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00:01:53,884 --> 00:01:55,985
Oh, that's sweet, Lil,
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00:01:55,986 --> 00:01:58,071
but didn't you guys get
food poisoning here one time?
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00:01:58,956 --> 00:02:00,323
Three times.
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00:02:00,324 --> 00:02:02,025
But they're really nice
about it.
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00:02:02,026 --> 00:02:05,595
Their policy is, "Get sick,
get a free gallon of soup""
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00:02:06,997 --> 00:02:07,997
(sneezing)
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00:02:09,466 --> 00:02:12,802
And so, Lily dropped offMarshall's surprise soup
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00:02:12,803 --> 00:02:14,036
and headed back to work
66
00:02:14,037 --> 00:02:16,673
to introduce the new class pet.
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00:02:16,674 --> 00:02:18,608
This is Mr. Buttons 2.
68
00:02:18,609 --> 00:02:19,943
Now, after
what happened
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00:02:19,944 --> 00:02:23,513
to Mr. Buttons 1,
we have to be very gentle
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00:02:23,514 --> 00:02:25,682
with... (retching)
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00:02:31,188 --> 00:02:32,405
Marshall!
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00:02:51,942 --> 00:02:53,543
(brakes screeching)
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00:02:58,015 --> 00:03:00,950
(retching)
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00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:11,027
Don't eat the soup!
75
00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:14,998
Oh, thank God. (panting)
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00:03:14,999 --> 00:03:18,167
This was about to be
my third bowl.
77
00:03:19,303 --> 00:03:21,471
Why shouldn't I eat the soup?
78
00:03:23,106 --> 00:03:24,941
(retching)
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00:03:26,644 --> 00:03:30,146
Why shouldn't I eat the soup?
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00:03:30,281 --> 00:03:34,281
� How I Met Your Mother 6x24 �
Challenge Accepted
Original Air Date on May 16, 2011
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00:03:34,306 --> 00:03:38,306
== Resync by jacobian @ Hdbits.org ==
82
00:03:43,126 --> 00:03:44,427
Hey, Mr. Architect,
83
00:03:44,428 --> 00:03:46,396
big day for you
tomorrow, huh?
84
00:03:46,397 --> 00:03:49,899
Yeah. Getting to stand next
to me while I press the button.
85
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:53,353
That is going to be legend...--
wait for it-- ...dary adjacent.
86
00:03:53,354 --> 00:03:56,873
Legendary adjacent!
87
00:03:56,874 --> 00:03:58,574
You okay?
88
00:03:58,575 --> 00:04:00,743
Yeah... no.
89
00:04:00,744 --> 00:04:03,680
This morning I was
talking to the foreman.
90
00:04:03,681 --> 00:04:05,698
Hey, hotshot.
91
00:04:05,699 --> 00:04:08,418
You know, Rod, um, I'm
loving that nickname,
92
00:04:08,419 --> 00:04:09,318
and I can tell
93
00:04:09,319 --> 00:04:11,153
it's totally affectionate,
94
00:04:11,154 --> 00:04:13,623
but, uh, I'd prefer Ted.
95
00:04:13,624 --> 00:04:16,659
Yeah, but you're
such a hotshot,
96
00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:18,995
I figured I'd just
call you hotshot.
97
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,014
Pick one.
98
00:04:21,015 --> 00:04:22,699
And make sure you like it.
99
00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:24,684
There's going to be
50,000 of these
100
00:04:24,685 --> 00:04:27,370
in your big, hotshot
building, hotshot.
101
00:04:27,371 --> 00:04:30,807
50,000 lightbulbs!
102
00:04:30,808 --> 00:04:32,375
What if this one's too bright?
103
00:04:32,376 --> 00:04:33,943
What if this one flickers
104
00:04:33,944 --> 00:04:35,645
and gives everyone
a weird headache?
105
00:04:35,646 --> 00:04:37,447
Do you know
how many people
106
00:04:37,448 --> 00:04:39,482
it takes to change
50,000 lightbulbs?
107
00:04:39,483 --> 00:04:41,184
Are these people Irish,
Polish, blondes--
108
00:04:41,185 --> 00:04:42,652
what are we dealing with here?
109
00:04:42,653 --> 00:04:45,054
There's just-- there's so
many decisions to be made.
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00:04:45,055 --> 00:04:46,255
What if I make all
the wrong ones
111
00:04:46,256 --> 00:04:47,857
and my building
just sucks?
112
00:04:47,858 --> 00:04:48,825
Not possible.
113
00:04:48,826 --> 00:04:50,243
Your building is new.
114
00:04:50,244 --> 00:04:54,197
And I have one rule:
New is always better.
115
00:04:54,198 --> 00:04:55,598
You can't keep saying
you have one rule
116
00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:56,933
if they're always
different rules.
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00:04:56,934 --> 00:05:00,036
Ah, but "new is always better"
is my oldest rule,
118
00:05:00,037 --> 00:05:01,938
which makes it the best.
119
00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:04,507
Hi, Marsh.
Oh, hey, buddy.
120
00:05:04,508 --> 00:05:05,908
TED:
Hey.
121
00:05:05,909 --> 00:05:07,176
Everything okay?
122
00:05:07,177 --> 00:05:09,912
Lily got food poisoning
from some soup.
123
00:05:09,913 --> 00:05:10,947
(Barney sighs)
124
00:05:10,948 --> 00:05:12,281
And then I ate the soup
125
00:05:12,282 --> 00:05:13,750
exactly three hours later.
126
00:05:13,751 --> 00:05:19,055
Which means I can see exactly
three hours into my future, and
127
00:05:19,056 --> 00:05:24,193
it... doesn't... look... good.
128
00:05:24,194 --> 00:05:26,362
I tried to be supportive.
129
00:05:26,363 --> 00:05:28,998
Oh, baby, can you
just hold me, please?
130
00:05:28,999 --> 00:05:31,000
Of course, baby.
131
00:05:34,938 --> 00:05:36,639
But it doesn't help itthat when Lily gets going;
132
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,408
she sounds like a velociraptor
from Jurassic Park.
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00:05:39,409 --> 00:05:43,312
(roaring)
134
00:05:43,313 --> 00:05:46,048
But then I realized
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00:05:46,049 --> 00:05:48,918
a man can do a lot of livingin three hours.
136
00:05:48,919 --> 00:05:54,423
So, I'm out experiencing this
beautiful, crazy dance called life.
137
00:05:54,424 --> 00:05:55,558
Ah, my last meal.
138
00:05:55,559 --> 00:05:58,895
MacClaren's famous
jalape�o poppers.
139
00:05:58,896 --> 00:06:00,062
My doctor says
140
00:06:00,063 --> 00:06:01,898
I need to eat healthier,
so I figured
141
00:06:01,899 --> 00:06:03,983
the round-trip flight
these babies are about to take
142
00:06:03,984 --> 00:06:06,669
will land them permanently
on the no-fry list.
143
00:06:07,604 --> 00:06:09,372
Good-bye, my friend.
144
00:06:10,741 --> 00:06:13,109
It's been a hell of a ride.
145
00:06:14,828 --> 00:06:16,329
I have to...
146
00:06:19,516 --> 00:06:20,883
Hey, babe.
147
00:06:20,884 --> 00:06:23,786
The gang says
feel better.
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00:06:23,787 --> 00:06:26,088
Mm. Thanks. Wait,
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00:06:26,089 --> 00:06:29,192
you didn't tell them
I had food poisoning, did you?
150
00:06:29,193 --> 00:06:30,760
Um, I...
151
00:06:30,761 --> 00:06:33,062
Marshall,
when it's stomach stuff,
152
00:06:33,063 --> 00:06:34,630
you just say
"under the weather,"
153
00:06:34,631 --> 00:06:37,567
or people start picturing you
doing unspeakable things.
154
00:06:37,568 --> 00:06:38,768
I know.
155
00:06:38,769 --> 00:06:41,304
I just said that
you had the sniffles.
156
00:06:41,305 --> 00:06:44,323
No one is picturing
anything but little
157
00:06:44,324 --> 00:06:45,741
red-nosed you
158
00:06:45,742 --> 00:06:48,044
under a blankie
with some hot tea.
159
00:06:48,045 --> 00:06:50,980
I wonder what end it's coming
out of Lily right now.
160
00:06:50,981 --> 00:06:52,882
I bet it's her tushie.
161
00:06:52,883 --> 00:06:54,617
I bet it's both.
162
00:06:54,618 --> 00:06:58,654
(imitating explosions)
163
00:06:58,655 --> 00:07:01,424
Hey, speaking of explosions--
164
00:07:01,425 --> 00:07:02,492
enough already, Ted!
165
00:07:02,493 --> 00:07:03,793
That button's mine!
166
00:07:03,794 --> 00:07:05,394
Yeah, fine, okay.
167
00:07:05,395 --> 00:07:07,029
I got you this job, so I...
168
00:07:07,030 --> 00:07:08,030
Say what?
169
00:07:08,031 --> 00:07:09,348
Whatever.
170
00:07:09,349 --> 00:07:10,800
It's yours.
171
00:07:10,801 --> 00:07:12,134
I gotta run.
172
00:07:12,135 --> 00:07:13,669
You...
173
00:07:15,038 --> 00:07:17,006
(phone ringing)
174
00:07:17,007 --> 00:07:18,341
Hello?
175
00:07:18,342 --> 00:07:20,243
Yes, it is.
176
00:07:21,195 --> 00:07:23,346
It's Bloom, Greenberg
and Associates.
177
00:07:23,347 --> 00:07:24,213
They want me to come interview.
178
00:07:24,214 --> 00:07:25,948
(roaring like velociraptor)
179
00:07:25,949 --> 00:07:28,885
Yes, I know it's risky to go,
but this is the best
180
00:07:28,886 --> 00:07:30,386
environmental law firm
in New York.
181
00:07:30,387 --> 00:07:31,387
It's my dream job.
182
00:07:31,388 --> 00:07:33,188
(roaring like velociraptor)
183
00:07:33,189 --> 00:07:35,190
That's a great idea, babe.
184
00:07:35,191 --> 00:07:36,709
I'll ask them.
185
00:07:36,710 --> 00:07:40,396
Hey, is it at all possible,
could I come in on Monday?
186
00:07:41,398 --> 00:07:43,799
Okay, I'll, I'll see you
at 5:00.
187
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,001
Thank you.
188
00:07:45,002 --> 00:07:47,503
(roaring like velociraptor)
189
00:07:49,039 --> 00:07:52,859
I love and believe in you, too,
baby.
190
00:07:52,860 --> 00:07:54,510
Why would Ted
191
00:07:54,511 --> 00:07:56,345
just give up the button
like that?
192
00:07:56,346 --> 00:07:57,713
(text alert chimes)
193
00:07:57,714 --> 00:08:00,116
And he forgot his phone.
194
00:08:00,117 --> 00:08:02,485
"See you in an hour."
195
00:08:02,486 --> 00:08:03,185
Who's that from?
196
00:08:03,186 --> 00:08:04,186
Zoey.
197
00:08:04,187 --> 00:08:06,122
They're meeting for coffee.
198
00:08:06,123 --> 00:08:09,392
Ted's getting back together
with her!
199
00:08:15,982 --> 00:08:18,683
Why would Ted get back together
with Zoey? He's doing great.
200
00:08:18,858 --> 00:08:20,992
After a breakup,
we all think we're doing great.
201
00:08:20,993 --> 00:08:24,173
Sometimes the tiniest trigger
can unravel you and send
202
00:08:24,182 --> 00:08:26,217
you crawling right back.
No,
203
00:08:26,232 --> 00:08:28,533
I refuse to believe that Ted
is getting back with Zoey
204
00:08:28,534 --> 00:08:29,568
because of lightbulbs.
205
00:08:29,569 --> 00:08:31,553
Uh, Ted's gone back for less.
206
00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:34,139
(fizzling out)
207
00:08:35,508 --> 00:08:37,025
Hi, Natalie.
208
00:08:37,026 --> 00:08:39,211
You want to get coffee sometime?
209
00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:44,249
Bro.
210
00:08:44,250 --> 00:08:46,885
Ted, I only have one rule.
211
00:08:46,886 --> 00:08:49,921
(voice cracking):
But I can't reach
the worst part.
212
00:08:50,823 --> 00:08:52,190
Hi, Karen.
213
00:08:52,191 --> 00:08:54,359
Want to get coffee sometime?
214
00:08:55,628 --> 00:08:58,196
TV ANNOUNCER:
Coming up next,
our two local pandas,
215
00:08:58,197 --> 00:09:00,766
Ming Ming and Bao Bao,
are expecting a baby.
216
00:09:00,767 --> 00:09:02,200
Robin, you want to get coffee
217
00:09:02,201 --> 00:09:04,219
sometime...?
(blowing raspberry)
218
00:09:04,220 --> 00:09:06,505
Get it together, bro.
219
00:09:06,506 --> 00:09:08,273
According
to my calculations,
220
00:09:08,274 --> 00:09:09,641
at 6:00 p.m.,
221
00:09:09,642 --> 00:09:11,576
my body is gonna pay out
222
00:09:11,577 --> 00:09:14,179
like the most disgusting
slot machine in the world.
223
00:09:14,180 --> 00:09:16,815
That gives me two hours
to go do the interview
224
00:09:16,816 --> 00:09:18,350
and still get back in time.
225
00:09:18,351 --> 00:09:20,852
Oh, but, baby, what if
you hit the jackpot early?
226
00:09:20,853 --> 00:09:22,721
Don't worry.
227
00:09:22,722 --> 00:09:25,624
I'll be prepared.
228
00:09:25,625 --> 00:09:28,360
(military battle preparation
score playing)
229
00:09:35,702 --> 00:09:37,035
(exhales sharply)
230
00:09:40,740 --> 00:09:42,074
(laughing)
231
00:09:42,075 --> 00:09:44,476
I'm talking your ear off, sorry.
232
00:09:44,477 --> 00:09:46,812
Is there anything
I can do for you, sweetie?
233
00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:52,100
Can... I... borrow...
234
00:09:52,101 --> 00:09:54,586
an adult diaper?
235
00:09:56,923 --> 00:09:58,473
We've got to stop Ted.
Where are they meeting?
236
00:09:58,474 --> 00:10:01,660
Okay, Zoey wrote, "Meet me
at 6:00, where it all began,
237
00:10:01,661 --> 00:10:04,096
where you gave me the orchid
at the intersection."
238
00:10:04,097 --> 00:10:06,314
Well, that's good.
All we have to do is think back
239
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:08,667
to the time Ted told us
about his first date with Zoey.
240
00:10:08,668 --> 00:10:10,669
Amazing first
date with Zoey!
241
00:10:10,670 --> 00:10:12,270
We met at the
intersection.
242
00:10:12,271 --> 00:10:15,440
(voice turns into "wah wah"
Charlie Brown's teacher's voice)
243
00:10:15,441 --> 00:10:17,843
Aw, that's sweet.
244
00:10:17,844 --> 00:10:19,544
You weren't listening either?
245
00:10:19,545 --> 00:10:20,812
I was in a coma.
246
00:10:20,813 --> 00:10:23,482
I mean, who pays attention
to that sappy romantic crap?
247
00:10:23,483 --> 00:10:25,417
(scoffs)
BOTH: Lily!
248
00:10:25,418 --> 00:10:27,919
Yeah, I wasn't
listening, either.
249
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,622
Ted really can go on
about a bitch.
250
00:10:30,623 --> 00:10:32,891
Great. He could be anywhere.
251
00:10:32,892 --> 00:10:34,459
We're flat out of clues.
252
00:10:34,460 --> 00:10:36,178
Hey, wait. Ted left a message.
253
00:10:36,179 --> 00:10:38,530
I could hear it 'cause
I was in the bathroom...
254
00:10:38,531 --> 00:10:40,632
blowing my nose--
I have the sniffles.
255
00:10:40,633 --> 00:10:42,434
(answering machine beeps)
256
00:10:42,435 --> 00:10:44,236
TED: Hey, Lily,
hope you're feeling better.
257
00:10:44,237 --> 00:10:46,471
Marshall told us you're
exploding from both ends
258
00:10:46,472 --> 00:10:48,507
like a busted fire hydrant.
259
00:10:48,508 --> 00:10:49,508
Damn it, Marshall.
260
00:10:49,509 --> 00:10:51,042
Anyway, listen, I was going to
261
00:10:51,043 --> 00:10:53,078
get back together with Zoey
today,
262
00:10:53,079 --> 00:10:55,714
but I came to my senses
on the way out here, so...
263
00:10:55,715 --> 00:10:57,115
False alarm.
264
00:10:57,116 --> 00:10:58,083
(Robin and Barney laugh)
265
00:10:58,084 --> 00:10:59,417
Oh, crap.
266
00:10:59,418 --> 00:11:01,253
Just stepped in some gum.
267
00:11:01,254 --> 00:11:03,054
I'm getting back together
with Zoey!
268
00:11:03,055 --> 00:11:04,189
(both sigh)
269
00:11:04,190 --> 00:11:05,724
Okay, we're never
gonna find him.
270
00:11:05,725 --> 00:11:07,008
Wait, wait, wait.
271
00:11:07,009 --> 00:11:09,661
That's was a subway announcement
in the background.
272
00:11:09,662 --> 00:11:10,862
I speak conductor.
273
00:11:10,863 --> 00:11:12,330
Hey, Lily, hope
you're feeling better.
274
00:11:12,331 --> 00:11:14,332
Marshall told us...
Got it.
275
00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:16,568
Ted's at...
276
00:11:19,338 --> 00:11:21,389
(roaring like
velociraptor)
277
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:23,608
Oh...
278
00:11:23,609 --> 00:11:24,976
(Lily sneezes)
279
00:11:24,977 --> 00:11:26,912
Ted's at Smith
and Ninth Street.
280
00:11:26,913 --> 00:11:28,063
That's the intersection.
281
00:11:28,064 --> 00:11:29,481
That's in Brooklyn. How are we
282
00:11:29,482 --> 00:11:30,682
ever gonna get there in time?
283
00:11:30,683 --> 00:11:32,183
Way ahead of ya.
284
00:11:33,820 --> 00:11:35,821
Hello!
285
00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:41,042
Marshall. Jake Bloom.
Great to meet you.
286
00:11:41,043 --> 00:11:42,160
Hello, hi.
287
00:11:42,161 --> 00:11:44,262
Hey. Oh, I'm sorry
about the stench.
288
00:11:44,263 --> 00:11:46,531
We're suing a factory
that's been dumping raw sewage
289
00:11:46,532 --> 00:11:47,632
into a local marshland.
290
00:11:47,633 --> 00:11:50,368
Yeah, ten minutes ago,
I was knee-deep
291
00:11:50,369 --> 00:11:52,571
in liquefied human feces.
292
00:11:52,572 --> 00:11:55,574
And that was just
on the F train.
293
00:11:55,575 --> 00:11:57,475
(laughs)
(laughs weakly)
294
00:11:57,476 --> 00:11:59,911
I can't believe Ted's getting
back together with Zoey.
295
00:11:59,912 --> 00:12:01,880
I know. They're
a total train wreck.
296
00:12:01,881 --> 00:12:03,181
Unmitigated disaster.
297
00:12:03,182 --> 00:12:04,249
Worst couple ever.
298
00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:06,451
Yeah, almost as bad as us.
299
00:12:06,452 --> 00:12:09,354
(chuckles)
We were a mess.
300
00:12:09,355 --> 00:12:10,522
(chuckles)
301
00:12:10,523 --> 00:12:13,725
Do you remember how awful
I looked by the end?
302
00:12:13,726 --> 00:12:15,026
My hair was falling out,
303
00:12:15,027 --> 00:12:18,229
my skin was gray,
my back was hunched.
304
00:12:18,230 --> 00:12:20,115
What about me? I got so fat,
305
00:12:20,116 --> 00:12:23,201
at the end of a date,
you'd unhook my bra.
306
00:12:23,202 --> 00:12:26,538
You were the only boyfriend
I ever motorboated.
307
00:12:26,539 --> 00:12:27,973
(both chuckle)
308
00:12:27,974 --> 00:12:30,008
Thank God we're not
sentimental saps
309
00:12:30,009 --> 00:12:32,244
who panic
and get back together.
310
00:12:32,245 --> 00:12:33,211
Seriously,
311
00:12:33,212 --> 00:12:35,213
why would people do that?
312
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:39,467
I guess I get it.
313
00:12:39,468 --> 00:12:40,719
What do you mean?
314
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:45,824
Well, no matter how bad
things got...
315
00:12:45,825 --> 00:12:48,693
Ted really did love Zoey
for a minute there.
316
00:12:48,694 --> 00:12:50,662
Didn't he?
317
00:12:54,867 --> 00:12:57,636
Yeah... he did.
318
00:12:58,604 --> 00:13:03,742
And... she loved him, too.
319
00:13:03,743 --> 00:13:05,744
Didn't she?
320
00:13:07,246 --> 00:13:09,814
Yeah, she did.
321
00:13:12,351 --> 00:13:14,986
(car stops)
(clears throat)
322
00:13:14,987 --> 00:13:17,522
Smith and Ninth Street.
323
00:13:17,523 --> 00:13:19,674
So, let me show you some
324
00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:22,093
of the gut-wrenching
environmental atrocities
325
00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:25,597
that we were working
to stop, okay?
326
00:13:25,598 --> 00:13:28,433
Here, pop quiz.
327
00:13:28,434 --> 00:13:30,435
What is that?
328
00:13:30,436 --> 00:13:32,237
That's a seal.
329
00:13:32,238 --> 00:13:35,307
Bingo! Yes, a bloated
seal corpse
330
00:13:35,308 --> 00:13:37,208
rotting in industrial waste.
331
00:13:37,209 --> 00:13:38,410
Mm-hmm.
332
00:13:38,411 --> 00:13:40,378
Now, wait till you see
what we found
333
00:13:40,379 --> 00:13:42,664
when we cut him open.
334
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,917
Okay, where the hell
are they?
335
00:13:45,918 --> 00:13:47,002
Maybe this isn't
the intersection.
336
00:13:47,003 --> 00:13:48,670
Well, maybe it is
and we're too late.
337
00:13:48,671 --> 00:13:50,672
Man, I wish we'd gone
to Brooklyn sooner.
338
00:13:50,673 --> 00:13:52,490
I know, right?
339
00:13:52,491 --> 00:13:54,459
Ever since the Trader Joe's
opened up,
340
00:13:54,460 --> 00:13:56,962
Brooklyn is so... whatever.
341
00:13:56,963 --> 00:13:59,464
Wait. Where'd
you get that?
342
00:13:59,465 --> 00:14:00,765
Across the street
343
00:14:00,766 --> 00:14:02,767
at the Intersection.
344
00:14:03,769 --> 00:14:10,208
So, uh, you guys... want
to buy some weed or...?
345
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,324
She's alone!
There's still time!
346
00:14:20,357 --> 00:14:21,774
But where the
hell is Ted?
347
00:14:21,775 --> 00:14:22,826
Wait a minute.
348
00:14:22,827 --> 00:14:24,944
On their first date,
he brought her an orchid.
349
00:14:24,945 --> 00:14:28,481
How much do you want to bet
he's gonna do it again?
350
00:14:28,482 --> 00:14:29,449
Brilliant. But wait,
351
00:14:29,450 --> 00:14:31,451
he had a huge
head start on us.
352
00:14:31,452 --> 00:14:33,019
There's no way
he's still in there
353
00:14:33,020 --> 00:14:35,121
unless he spent a half an hour
picking out the perfect orchid.
354
00:14:35,122 --> 00:14:36,356
Thanks, Julia!
355
00:14:38,159 --> 00:14:43,463
You know what? Let me see
the pink lady slipper again.
356
00:14:44,865 --> 00:14:47,267
Now, do you know
what that is?
357
00:14:47,268 --> 00:14:50,870
A pile of rotting seagull
carcasses
358
00:14:50,871 --> 00:14:53,706
covered in toxic sludge.
359
00:14:53,707 --> 00:14:56,643
Being eaten by rats. Exactly.
360
00:14:56,644 --> 00:14:58,077
Now this next slide...
361
00:14:58,078 --> 00:15:01,581
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's my wife's water birth.
362
00:15:01,582 --> 00:15:03,950
I don't know how that got
in there.
363
00:15:03,951 --> 00:15:06,452
(sighs)
364
00:15:06,453 --> 00:15:09,656
Anyway, that's all my questions.
365
00:15:09,657 --> 00:15:12,425
Oh, my God, I made it!
366
00:15:12,426 --> 00:15:15,028
Now just shake his hand,clench your very soul
367
00:15:15,029 --> 00:15:16,362
and run like hell!
368
00:15:18,165 --> 00:15:20,700
Now, I like to set aside
20 minutes at the end
369
00:15:20,701 --> 00:15:22,268
of every interview
for your questions.
370
00:15:22,269 --> 00:15:23,570
So don't hold back.
371
00:15:23,571 --> 00:15:26,339
Whatever you got inside there,
you just let 'er rip.
372
00:15:28,041 --> 00:15:29,175
I can't do this anymore.
373
00:15:29,176 --> 00:15:31,678
I'm just gonna tell himthe truth.
374
00:15:32,479 --> 00:15:34,214
When it's stomach stuff,
375
00:15:34,215 --> 00:15:35,848
you just say
"under the weather"
376
00:15:35,849 --> 00:15:39,385
or people start picturing you
doing unspeakable things.
377
00:15:39,386 --> 00:15:42,855
I have food poisoning and I'm
about to start volcanoing
378
00:15:42,856 --> 00:15:45,225
toxic sludge out of both ends!
379
00:15:45,226 --> 00:15:46,526
Nailed it.
380
00:15:49,263 --> 00:15:51,531
Thanks, Julia!
381
00:15:52,566 --> 00:15:54,033
(sighs)
382
00:15:54,034 --> 00:15:55,101
No, on second thought.
383
00:15:55,102 --> 00:15:56,970
(yelling)
384
00:15:56,971 --> 00:15:59,622
Ooh! Come on.
What the hell?!
385
00:15:59,623 --> 00:16:01,174
You can't get back together
with Zoey just because
386
00:16:01,175 --> 00:16:02,342
you're freaking out
over a lightbulb.
387
00:16:02,343 --> 00:16:04,510
I'm not freaking out
over a lightbulb!
388
00:16:04,511 --> 00:16:07,096
I'm freaking out over
50,000 lightbulbs!
389
00:16:07,097 --> 00:16:09,082
I can't do this!
390
00:16:09,083 --> 00:16:11,718
I only got this job because
you gave it to me, Barney.
391
00:16:11,719 --> 00:16:14,587
I didn't earn it!
392
00:16:14,588 --> 00:16:17,357
Look, Ted, the future is scary.
393
00:16:17,358 --> 00:16:19,726
But you can't just run back
to the past
394
00:16:19,727 --> 00:16:21,661
because it's familiar.
395
00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:24,797
Yes, it's tempting.
396
00:16:26,066 --> 00:16:29,435
But... it's a mistake.
397
00:16:32,573 --> 00:16:33,773
You're right.
398
00:16:33,774 --> 00:16:37,310
Um, excuse me.
399
00:16:37,311 --> 00:16:40,280
Can you give this to the blonde
sitting alone in there
400
00:16:40,281 --> 00:16:43,349
and tell her Ted's really sorry?
401
00:16:44,468 --> 00:16:46,853
Also... indirect sunlight.
402
00:16:46,854 --> 00:16:50,156
Don't overwater. Half a cup
a week is more than enough.
403
00:17:02,636 --> 00:17:03,870
No.
404
00:17:05,606 --> 00:17:06,906
Hi.
405
00:17:06,907 --> 00:17:10,493
And kids...
406
00:17:10,494 --> 00:17:12,645
that's how I met your mother.
407
00:17:12,646 --> 00:17:16,182
Psych. It was just some chick.
408
00:17:19,336 --> 00:17:21,320
Hey, baby, how'd it go?
409
00:17:21,321 --> 00:17:26,025
Lily, this year, this nasty
schoolyard bully of a year
410
00:17:26,026 --> 00:17:28,194
will not stop punching me
in the face.
411
00:17:28,195 --> 00:17:30,797
How did we kick off 2011?
412
00:17:30,798 --> 00:17:32,265
My dad died.
413
00:17:32,266 --> 00:17:34,634
And now after five months
of unemployment,
414
00:17:34,635 --> 00:17:36,202
I just blew my dream job.
415
00:17:36,203 --> 00:17:37,970
The good news is,
in a few seconds,
416
00:17:37,971 --> 00:17:39,739
I'm gonna start heaving
my guts out
417
00:17:39,740 --> 00:17:41,607
because that's what life is
for me now;
418
00:17:41,608 --> 00:17:45,011
just losing what's inside
until I'm just empty.
419
00:17:45,012 --> 00:17:46,479
Baby, come here.
420
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,282
I just want to shut my eyes
421
00:17:49,283 --> 00:17:50,983
for a few seconds
before it starts.
422
00:18:01,128 --> 00:18:04,864
And Marshall slept...
423
00:18:06,633 --> 00:18:08,434
...all night.
424
00:18:18,812 --> 00:18:20,880
Okay, hotshot.
425
00:18:20,881 --> 00:18:22,849
Mr. Stinson.
426
00:18:24,017 --> 00:18:25,518
Who's gonna do the honors?
427
00:18:25,519 --> 00:18:27,754
He is.
428
00:18:27,755 --> 00:18:29,072
You sure?
429
00:18:29,073 --> 00:18:31,758
Yeah. You earned it.
430
00:18:33,410 --> 00:18:35,728
All clear!
431
00:18:37,531 --> 00:18:41,567
Hey, new is
always better, right?
432
00:18:41,568 --> 00:18:43,936
Always.
433
00:18:45,506 --> 00:18:47,573
Ten, nine,
434
00:18:47,574 --> 00:18:48,708
eight...
435
00:18:48,709 --> 00:18:51,611
Lily, it's a miracle.
436
00:18:51,612 --> 00:18:54,580
I didn't get sick.
I didn't get sick.
437
00:18:54,581 --> 00:18:57,967
I know, baby.
438
00:18:57,968 --> 00:19:00,386
I'm pregnant.
439
00:19:07,161 --> 00:19:08,394
ROD:
...one!
440
00:19:21,208 --> 00:19:26,145
� Let it roll across the floor �
441
00:19:26,146 --> 00:19:31,918
� Through the hall
and out the door �
442
00:19:31,919 --> 00:19:34,589
� To the fountain of
perpetual birth �
443
00:19:34,618 --> 00:19:36,902
I'm proud of you
for giving Ted the button.
444
00:19:36,903 --> 00:19:38,654
It meant a lot.
445
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:40,389
It's just a button.
446
00:19:40,390 --> 00:19:42,925
(voice breaking):
Can we talk about
something else, please?
447
00:19:42,926 --> 00:19:44,126
(chuckles)
448
00:19:47,914 --> 00:19:49,731
(muttering)
449
00:19:49,732 --> 00:19:51,168
Nora.
Hi.
450
00:19:51,188 --> 00:19:52,455
How you been?
451
00:19:52,551 --> 00:19:54,252
Fine.
452
00:19:55,818 --> 00:19:57,319
Look, I don't
know why
453
00:19:57,359 --> 00:20:01,162
you would possibly say yes
to this, but would you want
454
00:20:01,163 --> 00:20:03,931
to grab a cup of coffee with me
sometime?
455
00:20:04,900 --> 00:20:07,001
20 minutes.
I was such a jerk to you.
456
00:20:07,002 --> 00:20:08,836
You can spend the entire time
calling me
457
00:20:08,837 --> 00:20:10,271
every dirty name in the book.
458
00:20:10,272 --> 00:20:11,839
I speak four languages.
459
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,074
I'm gonna need more
than 20 minutes.
460
00:20:15,410 --> 00:20:16,711
I'll call you.
461
00:20:17,512 --> 00:20:19,680
You look beautiful,
by the way.
462
00:20:19,681 --> 00:20:21,683
And here I thought
it was too late for sundresses.
463
00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:23,910
It's never too late, Barney.
464
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:29,416
Challenge accepted.
465
00:20:42,132 --> 00:20:43,298
LILY:
Best man?
466
00:20:43,299 --> 00:20:45,318
You're being summoned.
467
00:20:45,319 --> 00:20:47,169
Geez, what now?
468
00:20:50,107 --> 00:20:52,808
I heard the groom needed me.
469
00:20:55,750 --> 00:20:58,452
What do you think of this tie?
470
00:20:58,477 --> 00:21:02,477
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