Original subtitles

[♪ theme song playing]

♪ One, two... One, two three, four ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

- [giggles] - What you giggling about?

- You happy or something? - Believe it or not, yes.

Because tonight, your girl Gloria is going on a date.

- Ooh. - Molto bene.

The Kaitlyns set me up with this guy, Tyler.

They said he's not even a creep.

I mean, come on.

How romantic. We gotta meet this fella.

I don't know, kids. Your mom's expecting you in the country today.

- Already on it. - Is that my phone?

- Hi, son. - Hi, Mom.

- Steal your dad's phone? - Yeah.

Well, I'm excited to see you kids today.

Actually, Mama, can we stay in the city?

Aw, I had fun plans for us in the country.

But Gloria has a date! This may never happen again.

Gloria's got a date. Who's the guy? Can I--

Okay, bye. Situation handled.

Man.

Hello, Tyler!

[gasps] Um, hi. Is Gloria here?

- You better believe it. - [groans]

She's just getting ready. Come on in.

We're so happy you're taking out our Gloria.

Now I trust you'll be a respectful young man tonight.

You got a job, or you some kind of bum?

Two part question.

When are the nuptials,

and how do you feel about cows in the wedding party?

- [cow mooing] - Uh...

So, you're really going out with Gloria?

It's not like some dare?

[♪ smooth jazz music playing]

Hi, Tyler.

Oh, thank goodness.

Your family is really something, huh?

Oh, they're not my family.

What?

That man isn't your father?

No, I just live in his basement.

You live In their basement?

Yep. Rent-free.

- Pretty sweet, huh? - [groans]

But... But why?

'Cause I'm her best friend.

You're friends with a little kid?

Yeah, but he's, like, a work friend.

Where do you work that uses child labor?

The cafe next door.

But it wasn't child labor because they didn't pay him.

They still don't pay me!

'Cause I won't let her.

You see, I became co-owner after Gloria went to jail!

[chuckles] We put the fun in family!

- Tyler. - Tyler.

[chuckles] Oh, you guys.

So, should we take your car or...

[screams]

I can't believe Katy Lynn said you weren't a creep!

[Tyler wailing]

Fret not, Gloria.

That's why you have the Greens.

I have to move out.

[Dawn] "Welcome to your new home!"

Is what I would say if you rent this fine luxury penthouse.

What do you think?

Wow. This place is really nice.

A little too nice.

And how much does it cost?

Cricket, you don't need to follow me.

I can do this myself.

- How much does it cost? - Here's the flyer.

[gasps]

What was once the Butcher Brothers slaughterhouse

has now been carved up into spacious live-work units.

The neighborhood's so gritty.

Whoa! That guy just got jumped.

Man, they are wailing on him.

Should we call the cops?

Maybe we can show you something else.

This isn't a good place for snitches.

[man yells]

And here we have a charming little two bedroom

complete with four walls, a ceiling, and a floor.

This isn't bad.

And it's deeply discounted due to the neighbors.

Stop her before she eats my pants.

- [Melissa bleats] - [Bill screams]

Stop pulling! You're helping her!

Well, it is close to work.

This place is more than not bad.

I can host friends.

There's room for an art studio.

It's perfect!

You're gonna pay a bunch of money just to move next door?

You sure you don't want to stay with us?

What a normal living situation.

I'd date whoever lives here.

Yes, totally sure.

I'll take it!

- Fantastic! - Fantastic!

I'll get the paperwork.

I can't believe I'll have my own place again.

Now you'll seem way less creepy.

[chuckles] Oh, my gosh. You think so?

Stop! You're crazy. Are you gonna visit?

She's going through something.

All filled out. Path to normalcy starts now.

- Gloria! There you are. - [yelps, gasps]

You are being requested in the living room. [chuckles]

What is going on?

We just want to congratulate you on taking this big step.

And to celebrate, I made a video on my phone.

I can't figure out how to get it off the thing,

so let's just watch it like this.

I got this one off your social media.

[Gloria] Thanks, Bill.

[Cricket] Aw, it's your old apartment!

Ugh. I forgot how small it was.

[Bill] Couldn't find much else before you met us.

It's like you didn't exist.

[Cricket] This was the time we stopped you from giving up and leaving Big City.

And we saved your skin on that one.

Please, I would have been fine.

[Bill] And there's you and Ma celebrating your successful business.

We used my retirement money.

Oh, yeah. That was really nice of you.

I asked him out. I asked out Kevin!

- And we helped. - And we helped.

You guys helped me

with everything.

Thanks for everything, guys.

I love the Green family!

- [horse neighs] - [gunshot]

[Bill] Yee-haw!

Oh, my gosh. She loves it so much she's speechless!

Hey, let's hear it for Gloria, huh?

- Hip, hip! - Gloria!

- Hip, hip! - [all] Gloria!

- [Cricket] Hip, hip! - [all] Gloria!

[♪ pensive music playing]

[sighs]

I can't leave.

- [alarm beeping] - [Gramma] What in tarnation?

- [pants] - What's going on here?

[Bill] Gloria?

Oh, hey, fam.

Just making weird country food.

But why? Shouldn't you be packing up for the big move?

Oh, I'm not moving.

See, I had the weirdest night, but I woke up with clarity

and realized it's time I accept

I'm part of the Green family.

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to serve my kin.

Ow.

Love you, Dad. Love you, Gramma!

- Dad? - Gramma?

Brother! Sister! Food is ready!

What the heck?

- Wow! - Ooh! Picnic-style?

Gloria, loving the new look!

And the animals are eating with us?

Yup! Because this is the kind of thing that Greens do.

- It is? - It should be.

[motorcycle revs]

- Mom! - Hey, kids!

I still wanted to see you, so I thought I'd swing by.

Mwah. Mwah.

[Gloria hums]

Uh, how was the date, Gloria?

Terrible!

But that's good, because now I know

my true place is being part of the Green family forever.

You know, Gloria, a real Green would definitely stuff their pockets with mud.

[chuckles] You're right. This is my life now.

[chuckles] We don't do that.

I don't know Gloria as well as y'all do,

but something seems off.

[Cricket] What do you mean? She's better than ever!

[laughing]

[pig snorts awkwardly]

Howdy, sis!

Uh, howdy, brother.

Hey, now that you're fun,

want to help me sort my raccoon bone collection?

Oh, you're throwing out your art stuff?

Yeah. Why waste time with silly ambitions that lead to nothing?

This is where I belong, right here in this basement.

But what about the apartment?

The apartment was so yesterday.

See? Lease, gone. Over it.

Besides, I have a good thing going here.

[squawks] I'm only successful with the Greens' help.

Without them, I'll be a failure.

Why do I tell you my secrets?

[sighs] Anyway, time for bed.

Bed? It's 4:00 p.m.

If I go to sleep, there is no more.

- No more what? - Good night.

Hmm.

[chomps] These grits ain't its.

Hey, Mom, I think you were right.

Something is wrong with Gloria.

Something on the inside. Like an inside wrong.

But I have a plan to fix things

and I need your help.

Yes, I'm in! I love being part of a plan.

[chuckles] Here's what we'll do.

[phone alarm rings]

- [phone beeps] - [groans]

Wh... What? Where's all my stuff?

Family, we've been robbed!

We weren't robbed.

Your stuff's in your new apartment.

I turned in your lease application. Yay!

You what?

Well, you had it all nice and signed,

so I turned it in while you were asleep.

- [screams] - What is wrong with you?

When did you get so strong?

- [screaming] - I'm gonna kill you!

[screaming]

Coming through!

Grigorian, close that door!

I am not falling for your pranks, wretched boy.

- [groans] - Cricket!

Ah, Gloria, let's talk about this!

I thought this was a good thing!

[yells]

Aren't you excited to have your own spot and do whatever it is you do?

No, I'm perfectly happy right where I'm at!

Can't you tell?

[pants, grunts]

But you can be even happier!

- [grunting] - I'm not ready!

[both scream, grunt]

- [sighs] - [groans]

Cricket, tell me where my stuff is

so we can just go... home.

[parrot squawks]

[Gloria] All my stuff.

It looks amazing.

Cricket, did you do all this?

- He had a little help. - Nancy?

We figured seeing your stuff here

might help you reconsider things.

And don't worry, I didn't actually turn in

your lease for ya because that'd be illegal.

But I thought about it.

Well, your plan worked.

I love it.

But this is the whole problem.

Your family helps me with every major step in my life.

How am I supposed to live on my own?

Oh, come on. You did it before.

And I failed.

Because of us.

A lot of your problems were our fault. Remember?

We ruin your life, then we fix it.

It's the circle of strife.

I guess you're right.

Okay, I'll take the place after all.

Even if I have to stretch my budget.

Well, you know, I have been wanting to see the kids more,

and it'd be nice to have a place in the city that isn't a dingy basement,

so I could rent your spare room.

Unless that's helping too much.

Nancy, I would love nothing more.

- Finally! - Finally!

We've been trying to fill this vacancy for months.

Lease, please!

Oh, uh, here you go.

Didn't think we'd ever get rid of this place because of those neighbors.

- Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! - Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Oh, look, it's Gloria.

Did it work?

Yeah, it did!

Whoa, okay, Gloria.

- No need to yell. - Noisy neighbors. Geez.

Well, this is the last box.

If you get emotional, it's okay to cry.

Please cry.

Gloria, you're moving 30 feet away.

Now skedaddle! We got important business here.

Is it Bill's birthday?

Much more important than that.

- It's Farmer Appreciation Day. - Never heard of it.

It's a very important holiday for Bill.

And we always forget it.

- But this year's different. - Feet off the table!

We got Dad the perfect gift to show him how much we appreciate him.

♪ I'm a farmer man Workin' every day ♪

Oh, hey, family!

It's just your dad

listening to his favorite country singer, Rusty Twang.

Speaking of Rusty, he's playing a show tonight

in Big City on Farmer Appreciation Day of all days.

Well, I'm off to the farmer's market

to appreciate some vegetables.

Rusty Twang tickets.

I'm guessing you guys got him Rusty Twang tickets.

What? No!

That's the first Bill's mentioned it!

Fret not. We already got Papa the perfect gift.

[Gloria] "Enjoy yer Bill-oons."

What are Bill-oons?

[Cricket groans]

Ow. Ow.

Wow, look at all these Bill-oons.

Dad's gonna be blown away.

[screams]

Oh, no! Dad's getting blown away!

♪ Drivin' in a straight line Straight line ♪

[screams]

- [electricity crackling] - [balloons popping]

- Our balloon Dad! - What are we gonna do?

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

Gramma might be going away for a while.

Oh, man. You folks all right?

[all] Rusty Twang!

That's me. If no one's hurt, let's check the damage.

Come on, Mikey.

I'm Mikey.

Rusty Twang is right here.

You know what this means?

We could ask Rusty Twang to write Dad a song

- for Farmer Appreciation Day! - [both gasp]

A song written for Dad would be the perfect gift.

Every time it plays, he'll think of how crazy appreciated he is.

It's ideas like this that make me forget you were dropped as a child.

- [chuckles] What? - [Rusty] Hmm.

Hey, Rusty, how are things looking?

Not good, little man. Engine's shot.

Guess I'm stuck here till it's fixed.

You don't have to be.

Come stay at our place.

We're only a few blocks away.

You must protect your velvety larynx from this smoggy street.

And we'll show you some country hospitality.

That's mighty kind of you.

Oh! I guess it's this way.

[chuckles] You folks sure are generous.

[Tilly] Right this way, Mr. Twang.

Feel free to wander. Except right there!

Termites. Dang bugs chewed a fat hole in the floor.

Oh... Well, mites or not, y'all got a great place here.

Oh, thank you, darling.

Don't mind if I do.

- Mmm. So buttery. - It's the butter.

A fella could get used to this.

Glad to hear you say that.

All the buttery spoils you see before you are the result of one man.

Our Papa.

Bill Green.

Father, farmer, courtesy-flusher.

A man worthy of appreciating.

And there's nothing he'd appreciate more

than you writing him an original song.

What do you say?

Hmm, songwriting can be tricky,

but I do have respect for a hard working family man.

Ah, what the heck, I'll give it a try.

- Yay! - Yay!

Let's see what we can do for old Bill.

Now let's write us a song.

[all gasp]

- [♪ humming aimlessly] ♪ Tractor ♪ - [♪ guitar strumming]

No, tractor's been done.

You're better than that, Rusty. Come on. Uh...

[♪ Rusty hums]

No. Farming in fields?

[cell phone beeps]

Oh, dang, I got a concert to play.

- Oh, but you're so close. - You can't give up now.

Just a little more?

Sorry, y'all. Songwriting takes time.

- And I really gotta go. - What?

- Please don't leave - But we need this for Papa.

Come on, y'all. It's been fun.

But I got a whole lot of people waiting to see me play my...

hits.

- [♪ "Farming Man" playing] - [♪ Gloria humming]

[Rusty screams]

This guy is good!

- Don't go, Rusty! - Please don't leave us!

I gotta get out of here!

[screams]

[grunts]

[groans]

That went poorly.

Ah, come on, it ain't that bad.

Now Rusty can finish writing the song for Dad.

Plus he'll thank us when the song's a hit.

[all] We're good people.

[♪ dramatic music playing]

[Rusty groaning]

Huh?

Huh?

[pants, gasps]

[yells] What is this place?

- [door creaks] - [gasps]

[Cricket] Oh, good. You're awake.

Have... Have you kept people down here before?

Yes, but she's no longer with us.

[gasps]

[Cricket] Now we're real sorry about our methods,

but it's like I told you before.

We can't let you leave till you write Dad a song.

So, can you do that for us?

[all] Please?

Yeah, for... for sure.

But, uh, to make it really good,

I'll need writing supplies.

Now that's more like it.

[laughs nervously]

He's here!

[all cheering]

Mr. Twang, on behalf of Big City,

I present you with a welcome basket.

It's got gummies.

[Officer Keys] Here he comes.

Hey, y'all, I'm Mikey.

What? Where's Rusty?

I don't know. He walked off with some bumpkins while I fixed the bus.

Mmm.

You know what? I thought he'd be here.

[both] Rusty is missing?

I'm on it, Mayor. You can count on me.

- [police siren wails] - [Officer Keys] Rusty!

[Cricket gasps] There.

All the supplies you asked for.

Don't know why you need batteries or copper wire.

But who are we to question the creative process?

[door closes]

Let's do this.

[♪ dramatic music playing]

[grunting]

Finished.

That's one fine-looking emergency transmitter.

Mayday! Mayday! SOS. I need--

Rusty, how's the song coming?

[chuckling nervously] Oh, it's going great.

Let's hear what you've got so far.

Uh, this one's dedicated to anyone who can hear me.

♪ My name is Rusty Twang ♪

♪ Come rescue me ♪

♪ This ain't a metaphor ♪

♪ I need the police ♪

Now this is a bop!

[Rusty] ♪ Help I'm locked in a basement ♪

Wait, could this be a real call for help?

[Rusty] ♪ This is a real call for help ♪

♪ I'm in that red shack next to the cafe ♪

Oh, no. I'm coming, Rusty!

Still kind of a bop!

♪ And I don't want to die ♪

[winces] I have notes.

[Officer Keys] Greens, open up!

What did you do?

Wait, don't panic, y'all! I have an idea.

[Officer Keys] I know you're in there. Open up!

Come on, you're being rude.

Keys, what are you doing here?

I believe my six-string prince, Rusty Twang,

is being held here against his will.

- What? - No time, Bill!

Rusty!

[groans]

Where's my country angel?

[chuckles] No one here but us Greens.

Nobody but you Greens, huh?

Let's see what the man in your basement says about that.

[clanging]

[chuckles] Just the old water heater.

Hmm.

Well, I was wrong.

Sorry for the intrusion, citizens.

Keys continues the hunt.

[chuckles] Mystery solved.

- [all] Let's get pancakes. - [metal clangs]

That's weird.

The water heater does clang,

but that was more of a clong.

- [muffled grunting] - [clanging]

Family, why is Rusty Twang taped to our water heater?

Because we didn't have handcuffs.

And we wanted him to write you a song for Farmer Appreciation Day.

You were gonna force my favorite country singer to write a song for me?

I mean, no!

This is not how we treat celebrities.

Mr. Twang, it's an honor.

Not exactly how I pictured meeting you, but that doesn't matter now.

You're free to go, Rusty.

Oh, no, he ain't.

You may be against it now, big guy, but you'll thank us

when the song's done.

Happy Farmer Appreciation Day.

- Wait! - [door slams]

[groans]

No offense, but your family's crazy.

- Oh, I know. - [groans]

Look, Rusty, I am so sorry about my family,

but I'll do whatever it takes to get you out of here.

Then I promise not to press charges.

What's your plan?

I got an idea.

One that "termite" work.

Rusty Twang declared missing.

Is he dead? Maybe.

Can be yours for $19.95.

- [rustling] - [♪ jingle playing]

What's that?

This is clearly an attempt to escape.

Yet I cannot look away.

That's it.

[all] Ooh.

Wait for it.

Just about...

- now! - [Rusty grunts]

[all screaming]

- Oh, my gosh! - Where's Gramma?

[yells] Quit kicking me!

[screaming]

- Nice catch, Rusty. - Let's hit it!

[yelling]

Good luck at your big show tonight.

Rusty, don't go!

We just wanted Dad to feel appreciated.

Please, Mr. Twang!

Look, I don't condone what y'all did at all.

But you love your dad so much,

you imprisoned a country music star.

If that don't make him feel appreciated, nothing will.

[Gramma] So can we still get tickets or...

[Maria Media] We now bring you live to the alive Rusty Twang.

Thank you, Big City!

- [gasps] I know him! - We all know him.

Today was the worst day of my life.

So, I wrote a song about it.

♪ Kidnapped by a country family ♪

♪ With a weird and wicked plan ♪

♪ Gramma, two scary kids and a big ol' bellied man... ♪

I don't believe what I'm hearing.

Rusty Twang is singing about us.

It's a Farmer Appreciation Day miracle!

Come on, family.

♪ If you're rollin' through Big City ♪

♪ Be cautious and be keen Watch out for the Greens ♪

♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ Lost a bet and got bit by 100 flies ♪

♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch and scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ I got chased by dogs ♪

♪ Licked by a frog Got a rash on my legs ♪

♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters in seven of ten ♪

♪ And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪