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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,962 --> 00:00:06,963 Hey. 2 00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:10,053 Yuletide greetings, dudes. 3 00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:12,229 Have I got a major Christmas surprise for you? 4 00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:17,800 This should be good. 5 00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:23,023 [SHUDDERS] 6 00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:26,504 Hey, guess what? 7 00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:28,593 The chamber of commerce is having a contest 8 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,334 for the best Christmas decorations. 9 00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:32,684 So, I'm putting the finishing touches on my van. 10 00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:34,077 Sounds neat, Cody. 11 00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:35,383 Can we see your Christmas display? 12 00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:36,514 Yeah, buddy. 13 00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:41,041 Hold onto your hats, ladies and gentlemen. 14 00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:44,653 Cody Lambert presents the glory of Christmas. 15 00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:51,138 ♪ Hallelujah hallelujah 16 00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:55,359 ♪ Hallelujah hallelujah 17 00:00:55,446 --> 00:01:00,930 ♪ Hallelujah hallelujah 18 00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:06,109 ♪ Hallelujah hallelujah 19 00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:12,028 ♪ For the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth ♪ 20 00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,899 Yeah, Christmas. 21 00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:17,468 The time of peace on earth and goodwill toward men. 22 00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:19,166 Really bitchin' decorations. 23 00:01:20,906 --> 00:01:23,300 Now the first stop on our holiday tour 24 00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,563 will be the North Pole. 25 00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:27,304 [CHUCKLES] 26 00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:30,002 Oh, look, it's snowing over there. 27 00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:34,703 Matter of fact, it's snowing everywhere. 28 00:01:36,879 --> 00:01:40,665 CODY: Yeah, just a little Yuletide magic there, little buddy. 29 00:01:40,752 --> 00:01:43,015 Now we all know the main man at Christmas 30 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,322 is Jolly Old Saint Nick. 31 00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:47,933 Oh, look, there he is now. 32 00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,674 Hey, Santa. 33 00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:51,850 Ho, ho, ho. 34 00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:53,678 [CODY LAUGHING] 35 00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:54,940 But, of course, Christmas is about 36 00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:56,768 more than just a fat guy in a red suit. 37 00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:02,034 It all started in a little town called Bethlehem. 38 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,907 Let's return now to those thrilling days of yesteryear 39 00:02:04,994 --> 00:02:08,693 when the Christ child lay asleep in a manger. 40 00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:09,868 [CHUCKLES] 41 00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:13,568 Oh, look, he has visitors. 42 00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:15,309 It's the three wise men. 43 00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:18,007 Balthazar, Gaspar and Melchior? 44 00:02:18,094 --> 00:02:20,836 Nah. Three much wiser dudes than those. 45 00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,533 In fact, 46 00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:25,449 the three wisest men in the history of the world. 47 00:02:28,104 --> 00:02:29,627 Albert Einstein. 48 00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:37,113 Abraham Lincoln. 49 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,376 And the wisest dude of them all. 50 00:02:42,423 --> 00:02:43,772 Alex Trebek. 51 00:02:46,818 --> 00:02:48,080 Yeah, buddy. 52 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,647 Is this cool or, what? 53 00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:50,822 [CHUCKLING] 54 00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:54,609 [THEME SONG PLAYING] 55 00:03:05,707 --> 00:03:07,317 [SCREAMING] 56 00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:12,322 ♪ The dream got broken 57 00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:14,237 ♪ Seemed like all was lost 58 00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:16,065 ♪ What would be the future 59 00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:17,762 ♪ Could you pay the cost 60 00:03:17,849 --> 00:03:18,981 ♪ You wonder 61 00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,635 ♪ Will there ever be 62 00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,550 ♪ A second time around? 63 00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:26,031 WOMAN: ♪ Woah-a, woah-a 64 00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:27,598 ♪ When the tears are over 65 00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:29,687 ♪ And the moment has come 66 00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:31,167 ♪ To say my Lord 67 00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:33,517 ♪ I think I've found someone 68 00:03:33,604 --> 00:03:35,476 ♪ You know It will be better ♪ 69 00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:37,042 ♪ 'Cause we're Putting it together ♪ 70 00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:39,915 ♪ For the second time around 71 00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:48,010 ♪ Step by step 72 00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:50,099 WOMAN: ♪ Day by day 73 00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:52,014 ♪ A fresh start over 74 00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:53,581 ♪ A different hand to play 75 00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:55,235 ♪ The deeper we fall 76 00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:57,454 ♪ The stronger we stay 77 00:03:57,541 --> 00:03:59,630 MAN: ♪ It will be better 78 00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:01,458 ♪ The second time around 79 00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:05,288 ALL: ♪ Step by Step, day by day 80 00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:07,247 WOMAN: ♪ We'll make it better 81 00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:09,510 MAN: ♪ Second time around ♪ 82 00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:29,356 Here we go, kids. More hot fudge. 83 00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:31,053 Carol, I don't get it. 84 00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:32,968 You never let us eat ice cream in the living room. 85 00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:36,145 Well, I just thought it would be a nice holiday treat. 86 00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:38,234 Although being that we're all together 87 00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:41,933 I thought maybe we could have a family meeting. 88 00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:44,893 -Family meeting? It's a trap. -Run for it. 89 00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:46,416 Hold it! Hold it, hold it, hold it. 90 00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:48,810 Come on, back here. Come on. 91 00:04:48,897 --> 00:04:51,769 Now I just thought that we could discuss an idea 92 00:04:51,856 --> 00:04:55,251 that I think will make Christmas a lot more fun for all of us. 93 00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:58,298 Well, you've got our attention, honey. What's your idea? 94 00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:01,170 [SIGHS] Instead of everybody going through the hassle of buying 95 00:05:01,257 --> 00:05:03,607 a lot of gifts, I thought we could put names in a hat 96 00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:05,957 pull one out and buy that person one gift. 97 00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:10,745 Wait a second. 98 00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:12,486 Are you saying I'd only get one gift? 99 00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:14,314 -Right. -That bites. 100 00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:18,622 Frank, would you help me out here, please? 101 00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:21,233 Well, I don't know, Carol. One gift. 102 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:26,543 Ain't that kind of like Russia? 103 00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:28,197 Alright, things have been a little tight around here 104 00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:29,590 and I thought that this would be a great way 105 00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:31,026 for us to save some money. 106 00:05:31,113 --> 00:05:32,854 Well, Carol, we're already gonna save 107 00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:34,464 a lot of money this Christmas. 108 00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,466 I mean, I'm remodeling Hartman's Toy Store. 109 00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:39,164 He promised to give me a 20% discount on anything I want. 110 00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:40,992 Ah, cool! 111 00:05:41,079 --> 00:05:43,778 Does that mean I get the train set I've been asking for? 112 00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:48,086 Well, maybe, if Carol gets over this communist Grinch thing. 113 00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:50,524 Yeah. 114 00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:52,961 Fine, you guys win, forget about exchanging names 115 00:05:53,048 --> 00:05:55,746 but, can we at least set a price limit on these gifts? 116 00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:57,966 Ah, great idea. 117 00:05:58,053 --> 00:06:00,838 All in favor of a $10,000 price limit, say aye. 118 00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:02,013 ALL: Aye. 119 00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:07,628 That is the last time you eat ice cream in my living room. 120 00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:10,370 Give me that. Give me, give me, give me. 121 00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:18,595 Perfect. 122 00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:20,728 Okay, okay, clear a path. I'm here to get my loot. 123 00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:21,816 Oh. 124 00:06:23,252 --> 00:06:25,254 Where do you think you're going, son? 125 00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:26,908 It's one minute after midnight. 126 00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:29,171 That means it's Christmas. Which presents are mine? 127 00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:32,261 Ah-ah-ah, alright, you know the rules. 128 00:06:32,348 --> 00:06:34,611 You open your presents at 6:00 AM. 129 00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,918 So, right now, go to bed or I'm gonna tell Santa Claus 130 00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:38,789 what a freeloading leech you've been all year. 131 00:06:40,095 --> 00:06:42,184 Merry Christmas to you too, dad. 132 00:06:42,271 --> 00:06:43,359 Ho, ho, ho. 133 00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:45,796 -CAROL: Frank? -Yeah. 134 00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:48,799 Where did you put Brendan's, uh, train set? 135 00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:51,280 I thought we would set it around the tree as a surprise. 136 00:06:52,803 --> 00:06:55,415 T-train set. I, I thought you got the train set. 137 00:06:57,373 --> 00:06:58,722 Why would I get the train set? 138 00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:00,028 You're the one who's been remodeling 139 00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:02,030 a toy store the past two weeks. 140 00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:03,510 Well, if you're gonna cop an attitude 141 00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:04,815 I don't wanna talk about it. 142 00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:06,251 Frank. 143 00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:08,428 Oh, okay, okay, gee, I blew it, honey. 144 00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:10,299 That was gonna be our big gift for Brendan. 145 00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:11,692 Well, now what are we gonna do? 146 00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:13,041 I don't know. 147 00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:16,087 Wait a minute. 148 00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:18,525 I've still got the keys to Hartman's Toy Store. 149 00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,831 I'll just go down and let myself in and pick up a train. 150 00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:23,007 Frank, you can't do that. It's breaking and entering. 151 00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:24,661 No, it's not. I'm gonna leave money. 152 00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:28,926 It's, uh, entering with intent to purchase. 153 00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:32,016 I can't believe you forgot something so important. 154 00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:33,627 You know, it's like, if I want anything done right 155 00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,063 around here, I have to do it myself. 156 00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:36,456 Oh, come on, honey, just relax. 157 00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:37,631 I'm gonna be back in a half an hour. 158 00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:39,110 Why don't you, uh 159 00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:40,677 why don't you put the stocking stuffers 160 00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:42,462 that we got for the kids in their stockings? 161 00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:45,726 Stocking stuffers? 162 00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:54,604 Frank, would you turn off the lights? 163 00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:56,171 Somebody's gonna see us here. 164 00:07:56,258 --> 00:07:57,868 Carol, it's in the middle of the night. 165 00:07:57,955 --> 00:07:59,740 We're the only two idiots awake right now. 166 00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:01,524 [SIGHS] 167 00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:02,960 Well, just hurry. I don't feel right about being here. 168 00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:04,527 Okay. Hey, here. 169 00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:06,181 You, uh, look for stocking stuffers 170 00:08:06,268 --> 00:08:07,965 and I'll see if I can find the train, okay? 171 00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:12,448 Oh, jeez, look at this. 172 00:08:12,535 --> 00:08:13,971 That's disgusting. 173 00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:17,584 "Ooze, throw it against the wall, and it sticks." 174 00:08:17,671 --> 00:08:20,412 Who'd spend 50 cents on something like this? 175 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,936 Fifty cents? 176 00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:23,328 That stuff used to be a buck, 20. 177 00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:24,634 Get a bunch of that, okay? 178 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,986 Oh, honey, look. Here it is. 179 00:08:29,073 --> 00:08:31,162 Look, "The Red Rider Express 180 00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:35,863 with authentic locomotive sounds and patented track switcher." 181 00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:39,301 Oh, wow, if I send away, I can join the Junior Engineers Club. 182 00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:43,392 [GASPS] Oh, look. 183 00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:46,569 Honey, an official police enforcer cap gun 184 00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:49,050 with a real smoking barrel. 185 00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,225 I gotta get that too. 186 00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:52,488 Good idea, Frank. 187 00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:54,446 You'll need that in case your train gets held up. 188 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:59,451 Alright, one train, 49.95. 189 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,410 And one police enforcer special 190 00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:04,413 with a real smoking barrel, 9.95. 191 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:05,806 How much for stocking stuffers? 192 00:09:05,893 --> 00:09:07,982 -17.50. -17.50. Okay. 193 00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:11,551 [CASH REGISTER DINGS] 194 00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:14,292 Freeze. 195 00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,733 Now put your hands up 196 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:22,126 and don't even think about reaching for that gun. 197 00:09:22,213 --> 00:09:23,998 Boy, uh, officer, there's a mistake. 198 00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:25,086 See this isn't even a real gun. 199 00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:27,523 I said hands up, slime ball. 200 00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:30,047 -You too, blondie. -Oh, oh... 201 00:09:30,134 --> 00:09:31,919 Officer, we can explain this. 202 00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:34,443 Yeah, you see, I was actually gonna put money in the register. 203 00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:36,576 Yeah, yeah, and I'm Santa Claus. 204 00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,186 Alright now, why don't we all 205 00:09:38,273 --> 00:09:40,971 take a little ride downtown in my sleigh, huh? 206 00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:45,933 [GASPS] 207 00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:50,720 Move it! Get out! Let's go! 208 00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:54,028 Move it! Move it! Move it! Move it! 209 00:09:54,115 --> 00:09:56,247 -Alright, let's go. -Okay. 210 00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:05,866 [CLOCK CHIMES] 211 00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,912 [STAIRS THUMPING] 212 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,264 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 213 00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:23,187 Yes, yes, yes. 214 00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:24,667 A new microscope. 215 00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:26,451 Thanks, mom. Thanks, Frank. 216 00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:30,542 Mom? Frank? 217 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,545 Hey, hey, hey, guys, guys, guys, wait a minute. 218 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,286 Has anyone seen mom and Frank? 219 00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:37,898 Hey, they know the rules. 220 00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:39,856 Six o'clock, we open gifts. 221 00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:41,553 You snooze, you lose. 222 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,294 ALL: Alright! 223 00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:45,775 [ALL CLAMORING] 224 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:51,607 Entering with intent to purchase. 225 00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:54,044 Idiot. 226 00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:57,961 Where is that deputy, anyway, huh? 227 00:10:58,048 --> 00:11:01,399 He should unlock that phone. We're entitled to a phone call. 228 00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:04,141 Uh, hey, hey, we've been locked up in here for hours. 229 00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:06,927 Oh, I'm sorry I inconvenienced you. 230 00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:08,972 Next time, call ahead for reservations. 231 00:11:09,059 --> 00:11:11,322 We'll put you in our Frequent Felon Program. 232 00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:14,543 Okay, let's go. 233 00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:17,241 It's booking time. 234 00:11:17,328 --> 00:11:18,678 Deputy, we're not trying to make trouble. 235 00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,027 We just wanna make a phone call 236 00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:21,855 so our kids will know where we are. 237 00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:23,813 You don't make your phone call till I'm done bookin' ya. 238 00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:26,686 Look, can't you just bend the rules a little? 239 00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:28,426 It's Christmas. 240 00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:31,734 Oh, don't sing that Yuletide sob story to me, missy. 241 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,954 The way I see it 242 00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:36,521 Christmas is just another day on the beat. 243 00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,141 You know, there's, there's no need for you 244 00:11:47,228 --> 00:11:49,883 to be rude, Deputy, uh, Fife. 245 00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:52,973 That's Feif, F-E-I-F. 246 00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:55,453 Fife would be F-I-F-E, got it? 247 00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:56,672 Yes, sir. 248 00:11:57,629 --> 00:11:58,979 -Okay. -Jeez. 249 00:11:59,893 --> 00:12:01,416 Names? 250 00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:03,418 Frank and Carol Lambert. 251 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:05,812 F. 252 00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:09,859 R. 253 00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:14,646 A. 254 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,432 You'd think they'd put these things in alphabetical order. 255 00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,002 This is gonna take forever. 256 00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:24,178 N. 257 00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,965 The kids will be worried sick about us. 258 00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:34,623 Alright, a soccer ball. 259 00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:37,321 Cool. Give me another one. 260 00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:39,062 -Hey. -Move out of the way. 261 00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:40,281 Stop it! 262 00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:44,372 A study lamp? 263 00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:45,982 What am I supposed to do with this? 264 00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:50,857 -Here, Mark. Merry Christmas. -Alright. Hey. 265 00:12:50,944 --> 00:12:52,728 Somebody throw me another gift. 266 00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:54,599 Yeah! 267 00:12:54,686 --> 00:12:56,776 [LAUGHING] 268 00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:59,213 Charge, armed robbery. 269 00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:02,477 A. 270 00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:05,828 R. 271 00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,179 M. 272 00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:11,399 It was a cap gun. 273 00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:13,270 That's your story. 274 00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:15,229 I think I'll just wait and see 275 00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:16,796 what the boys down in Ballistics have to say about it. 276 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,453 Now look, Feif, I know the owner. I have a set of keys. 277 00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:25,674 I've been goin' there everyday for the last two weeks. 278 00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:27,894 Oh, you cased the joint, huh? 279 00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:29,939 Premeditation. 280 00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:32,463 P. 281 00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:36,641 R. 282 00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:39,470 Deputy, can't we just speed this up a little bit? 283 00:13:39,557 --> 00:13:41,037 I'm sure you wanna be with your family 284 00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:42,647 as much as we wanna be with ours. 285 00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:45,433 Family? I don't have a family. 286 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,783 You're looking at a confirmed bachelor. 287 00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:50,525 Nobody's ever slapped a saddle on this wild stallion. 288 00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:57,488 Okay. Any prior arrests? 289 00:13:57,575 --> 00:13:59,229 No, of course not. 290 00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:01,362 Well, let's just have a little looksy anyway. 291 00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:07,368 Well, what have we got here? 292 00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:11,981 May 28, 1975, Quail Lake. 293 00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:17,639 Ring any bells, Frankie? 294 00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,598 Wh-what's the big deal? 295 00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:22,252 That dumb game warden wrote me up 296 00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:23,688 for fishing without a license. 297 00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:25,690 That's not all, pretty boy. 298 00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:28,868 It says there you tried to flee the scene of the crime. 299 00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:30,695 I was in a canoe. 300 00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:32,393 I was being pulled downstream. 301 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,264 Yeah, yeah. 302 00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:37,789 There are a million stories in the "Naked City." 303 00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:49,062 That's it. There's no more. 304 00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:53,718 And I didn't even get my train. 305 00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:56,330 Yeah. We got a lot more presents last year. 306 00:14:56,417 --> 00:14:58,114 Face it. The geezers hosed us. 307 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,858 Okay, are you guys ready to open presents? 308 00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:06,166 Whoa. 309 00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:08,081 Guess doesn't pay to oversleep in this house. 310 00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:12,259 Hey, where's Uncle Frank and Carol? 311 00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:13,738 [SIGHS] I don't know. 312 00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:15,958 They're probably still upstairs sleeping. 313 00:15:16,045 --> 00:15:17,264 You mean you guys opened your presents 314 00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:18,961 without waiting for your parents? 315 00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:20,528 That's un-American. 316 00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:23,923 Hey, it's not our fault they're not here. 317 00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:29,102 Okay, time out. Time out. 318 00:15:29,189 --> 00:15:31,452 Now, I know this is the season to be jolly 319 00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:35,412 but, you guys are really starting to cheese me off. 320 00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:37,545 All you've been talking about for the last two weeks 321 00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:39,895 is about how much loot you're gonna get. 322 00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:41,766 Well, I got news for you. 323 00:15:41,853 --> 00:15:45,292 Christmas is about more than just getting presents. 324 00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:48,512 It's about spending quality time with the people who you love. 325 00:15:48,599 --> 00:15:49,992 Cody, we-- 326 00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:51,733 Uh, p-pipe down. I'm not finished yet. 327 00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:55,606 Don't you guys get it? 328 00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:57,652 I mean, one of the coolest things about being a parent 329 00:15:57,739 --> 00:16:00,176 is seeing the joy on your children's faces 330 00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:03,136 when they open up their presents on Christmas morning. 331 00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:05,877 You guys took that away from them. 332 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,880 You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. 333 00:16:11,622 --> 00:16:15,061 You know, I hate to admit it, but, I think Cody's right. 334 00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:17,237 Yeah, I guess we have been acting like 335 00:16:17,324 --> 00:16:19,891 a bunch of greedy little pigs lately. 336 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,633 Yeah, well... 337 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,985 ...I didn't mean to take the jingle out of your bells 338 00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:27,769 but, it had to be said. 339 00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:30,424 [PHONE RINGING] 340 00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:36,212 Anybody have any idea where the phone is? 341 00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:42,305 Whoa. 342 00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:44,177 Talk about reach out and touch someone. 343 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:45,221 [LAUGHS] 344 00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:49,921 Merry Christmas. 345 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,402 Oh, Cody. Cody, it's Frank. 346 00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:55,449 CODY: Hey, Uncle Frank. Hey, where are you? 347 00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:57,886 Uh, Carol and I are in jail. 348 00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:00,323 -Jail? -What? 349 00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:01,803 -Jail? -What are they doing there? 350 00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,805 Hey, hey, pipe down, you little vultures. 351 00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:07,939 FRANK: Yeah, uh, Cody. 352 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,812 We were arrested for robbing a toy store. 353 00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:13,293 You robbed a toy store? 354 00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:16,122 Boy, life's just full of disappointments this morning. 355 00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:20,300 Uh, no, Cody. It was a misunderstanding. 356 00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:21,910 You see, I had a key and-and we were gonna 357 00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:23,651 leave money for the stuff. 358 00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:26,175 Oh, so it was more like entering with the intent to purchase? 359 00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:33,182 Exactly. Uh, Cody, listen. 360 00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:34,705 Uh, we're gonna need some money for bail. 361 00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:36,272 -Will you hold on a second? -CODY: Sure. 362 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:37,795 Uh, deputy? 363 00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:39,841 What's it gonna take to get us out of here? 364 00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:42,452 Don't ask me, you'll have to ask the judge 365 00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:45,586 when he gets back from visiting his mother tomorrow. 366 00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:48,023 Wh-what are you saying? 367 00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:50,808 We have to spend Christmas Day in jail? 368 00:17:50,895 --> 00:17:52,419 Very sharp, bubbles. 369 00:17:54,725 --> 00:17:56,814 You must be the brains in the operation. 370 00:17:59,904 --> 00:18:04,300 Uh, Cody, they're not gonna set bail until tomorrow. 371 00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:06,737 Will you tell the kids we're sorry we can't be there? 372 00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:09,131 -Sure, Uncle Frank. -Bye. 373 00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:10,306 CODY: Bye. 374 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:18,314 Well, this is really great, Frank. 375 00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:21,752 First, you forget to get Brendan's train set. 376 00:18:21,839 --> 00:18:26,061 Then you get the inspired idea to rob a toy store. 377 00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:28,890 So, now I have a police record 378 00:18:28,977 --> 00:18:32,981 and I have to spend Christmas Day in a jail cell 379 00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:36,115 sleeping on Lord knows what. 380 00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:38,682 I don't even wanna think about the toilet. 381 00:18:38,769 --> 00:18:41,816 Well, Merry Christmas, Frank. Ho, ho, ho. 382 00:18:44,601 --> 00:18:46,299 She's turnin' on you, Frankie. 383 00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:59,094 Oh, honey, I'm sorry I messed everything up. 384 00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:00,922 Oh, it's okay. 385 00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:03,272 I'm sorry I blew up at you. 386 00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:08,016 I just hate being away from the kids at Christmas. 387 00:19:08,103 --> 00:19:10,758 ♪ Deck the halls With boughs of holly 388 00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:13,152 ♪ Fa la la la la La la la la 389 00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:15,763 ♪ Mom and Dad Are in the slammer 390 00:19:15,850 --> 00:19:18,026 ♪ Fa la la la la La la la la ♪ 391 00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:20,594 ♪ Don they now Their striped apparel 392 00:19:20,681 --> 00:19:23,074 ♪ Fa la la la la La la la la 393 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,599 ♪ Up the river Go Frank and Carol 394 00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:28,079 ♪ Fa la la la la La la la la ♪ 395 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,038 Alright, uh, you kids can visit them 396 00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:31,692 but, no funny stuff. 397 00:19:31,779 --> 00:19:33,520 I'll be watching you like a hawk. 398 00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:40,353 Oh, look, Frank, the kids brought Christmas to us. 399 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,573 Well, we couldn't let you spend Christmas alone in the hoosegow. 400 00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:47,447 Yeah. Merry Christmas, Uncle Frank and Carol. 401 00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:48,709 We brought you some presents. 402 00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:50,276 Uh, sorry they're unwrapped 403 00:19:50,363 --> 00:19:53,540 but, there was a wave of greed this morning. 404 00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:55,368 Well, that's okay. 405 00:19:55,455 --> 00:19:58,153 I don't feel much like unwrapping presents anyway 406 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,068 since I've ruined Christmas for everybody. 407 00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:02,201 Oh, dad, you didn't ruin Christmas. 408 00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:05,987 I mean, if anybody ruined it, it was us. 409 00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:07,989 I mean, all we were talking about for the last couple weeks 410 00:20:08,076 --> 00:20:10,557 is how many presents we were going to get. 411 00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:12,994 Yeah, we've been really greedy. 412 00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:14,561 We're sorry, dad. 413 00:20:14,648 --> 00:20:17,085 Huh, that's okay. It's, it's no big deal. 414 00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:19,827 It is a big deal. Cody's right. 415 00:20:19,914 --> 00:20:21,263 The most important thing about Christmas 416 00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:23,309 is being with your family. 417 00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:25,224 We kinda lost sight of that. 418 00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:28,357 Well, the important thing is that we're all together now. 419 00:20:28,444 --> 00:20:30,968 Yeah, a guy couldn't ask for a better family. 420 00:20:31,055 --> 00:20:33,232 -Merry Christmas, dad. -Merry Christmas, son. 421 00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:35,364 -Merry Christmas, Cody. -Merry Christmas, sweetheart. 422 00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:37,192 ALL: Merry Christmas. 423 00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:40,717 That's so beautiful. 424 00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:43,416 [BLOWS NOSE] 425 00:20:45,505 --> 00:20:47,246 Deputy Feif, you're crying. 426 00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:49,639 Uh, me? 427 00:20:49,726 --> 00:20:53,339 No, no. I'm, I'm just fighting a cold. 428 00:20:53,426 --> 00:20:56,080 Well, come on, Deputy Feif. 429 00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:58,996 I don't buy that tough guy act. 430 00:20:59,083 --> 00:21:01,303 I think deep down, there's a softy 431 00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:04,175 who'd really like to get into the Christmas spirit. 432 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,960 Oh, yeah? 433 00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:07,527 Well, you're wrong. 434 00:21:07,614 --> 00:21:09,398 Why would I wanna celebrate Christmas 435 00:21:09,485 --> 00:21:11,574 with a warm and loving family? 436 00:21:11,661 --> 00:21:14,751 People who really care about each other and.. 437 00:21:14,838 --> 00:21:17,014 ...and have a bucket full of pretty 438 00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:18,973 tasty-looking chicken there. 439 00:21:20,627 --> 00:21:23,020 Well, hey, deputy, why don't you join us? 440 00:21:23,107 --> 00:21:25,936 There's more than enough for everybody. 441 00:21:26,023 --> 00:21:28,069 Well, what the heck? It is Christmas. 442 00:21:28,156 --> 00:21:30,550 Oh, you two might as well come on out of there. 443 00:21:30,637 --> 00:21:32,769 No sense getting the bars all greasy 444 00:21:32,856 --> 00:21:34,205 passing that chicken through them. 445 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,033 Oh, thank you. Thank you. 446 00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:38,035 Merry Christmas. 447 00:21:38,122 --> 00:21:39,472 [INDISCTINCT CHATTER] 448 00:21:46,217 --> 00:21:47,393 Another piece of pumpkin pie, Deputy Feif? 449 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:50,047 Oh, no thanks. Three's my limit. 450 00:21:50,134 --> 00:21:53,486 This body's a weapon. I like to keep it finely tuned. 451 00:21:55,836 --> 00:21:57,533 There is one thing I'd like though. 452 00:21:57,620 --> 00:21:58,926 Yeah, what's that? 453 00:21:59,013 --> 00:22:00,884 Can we sing one more Christmas carol? 454 00:22:00,971 --> 00:22:02,190 Oh, you got it. 455 00:22:03,670 --> 00:22:08,109 ♪ Silent night 456 00:22:08,196 --> 00:22:12,418 ♪ Holy night 457 00:22:12,505 --> 00:22:17,074 ♪ All is calm 458 00:22:17,161 --> 00:22:22,036 ♪ All is bright 459 00:22:22,123 --> 00:22:26,910 ♪ Round yon virgin 460 00:22:26,997 --> 00:22:31,524 ♪ Mother and child 461 00:22:31,611 --> 00:22:35,615 ♪ Holy infant 462 00:22:35,702 --> 00:22:40,533 ♪ So, tender and mild 463 00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:45,407 ♪ Sleep in heavenly 464 00:22:45,494 --> 00:22:49,411 ♪ Peace 465 00:22:49,498 --> 00:22:51,152 ♪ Sleep in... 466 00:22:51,239 --> 00:22:52,501 [SNORING] 467 00:22:52,588 --> 00:22:54,764 ♪ Heavenly peace ♪ 33476

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