Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

- Hello, everybody! - Hey, dad.

Whoa-hah!

What's for dinner, pal?

Well, the meat loaf looks good

but she is tryin' to sneak in some green stuff again.

Ew!

H-honey, did Mr. Kramer call yet?

Sorry, Frank, not yet.

Uh, that means he is gonna hire another contractor.

If he was gonna hire me, he'd have called by now.

- New job, dad? - Oh, yeah!

Kramer is restoring an apartment building downtown.

And if I get it, it means a lot of money.

A-and a lot of prestige, and a lot of money.

[sighs]

- Hi, guys! - Hi, honey!

Oh, Karen, you got a phone call.

Please tell me it was from Bobby.

Okay, it was from Bobby.

Oh, I knew he'd call.

Or was it Steve?

Or Mike? No, no, no, wait a minute.

It might have been a girl.

Mother?

You know what the problem is?

We don't have a system for taking

phone messages around here.

Well, why don't we just get an answering machine

like everyone else?

That is a great idea.

I have one in my beauty shop and it's a life saver.

Answering machine? Honey, I don't know.

Listen, when my customers call me..

...they expect to talk to me.

I don't want 'em talking to some stupid machine.

Well, they can either talk to some stupid machine

or they can just leave a message with J.T.

No offence, son, but I'm going with the machine.

[theme song]

[screaming]

♪ The dream wide broken ♪

♪ Seemed like all was lost ♪

♪ What would be the future ♪

♪ Could you pay the cost? ♪

♪ You wonder ♪

♪ Will there ever be ♪

♪ A second time around? ♪

♪ Woah-a woah-a ♪

♪ When the tears are over ♪

♪ And the moment has come ♪

♪ Say My Lord I think I found someone ♪

♪ You know it will be better ♪

♪ 'Cause you're putting it together ♪

♪ For the second time around ♪

♪ We got the woman and man ♪♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ We got the kids and the clan ♪♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Only time will tell 'em ♪

♪ If all these dreams fit under one umbrella ♪

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Day by day ♪

♪ A fresh start over ♪

♪ A different hand to play ♪

♪ The deeper we fall ♪

♪ The stronger we stay ♪

♪ And we'll be better ♪

♪ The second time around ♪

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Day by day ♪♪ Day by day ♪

♪ A fresh start over ♪

♪ A different hand to play ♪

♪ Only time will tell ♪

♪ But you know what they say ♪

♪ We'll make it better ♪

♪ The second time around ♪♪

[instrumental music]

[off-key guitar music]

H-hey, Dana!

Do you wanna see "A 101 Dalmatians" tonight?

We can share a tub of popcorn.

Or maybe we can score some nachos.

Hey, you can help me count the Dalmatians.

Last time, I counted 95.

Cody, enticing as that is, I already have a date.

A date?

With someone else?

You mean, you're cheating on me?

I am not cheating on you.

Oh, and what would you call it?

Cody, let me lay it out for you.

If the sun exploded tomorrow

and you were the last guy left

on this scorched cinder we used to call Earth

I still wouldn't go out with you.

Of course not, there wouldn't be any place left to go.

This is a test, right?

Pff! I think she's just trying to make me jealous.

Cody, don't take this the wrong way

but you're just not her type.

'She like geeks who wear suits'

and don't get dirty at work.

That is not you.

Yeah, but if Dana doesn't like me

then, well, maybe the me that I am

isn't the me I should be.

Maybe I should be a less of the me that I am

and more of the me that she wants me to be.

I mean, which me should I be?

Pfft! Wow!

I'm totally confused now.

I'm going out to my van.

I got some heavy-duty thinking to do.

[instrumental music]

Okay, who would like the honor of recording the greeting?

- I'll give it a shot. - Okay.

Hello! We're not home right now.

If you're calling for the Lamberts

please leave a message.

Oh, if you're calling for the Fosters, who cares!

- Al? - Come on, Al!

We need a real message.

Oh, can I try?

Penny, you don't even live here.

Oh, I know, sis, but I don't have a machine

so I'm gonna use your number to get my messages.

I hope that's okay? Please, please.

Uh..

Uh..

Sure!

Ugh!

Ready?

Hi! This is Penny.

Sorry, I can't come to the phone

because I'm soaking in a warm luxurious bath

listening to "Molero" and waiting for you--

P-Pe-Penny..

This is not a 9-7-6 number.

Come on, Carol, uh, y-y-you do it.

- Me? - Yeah, yeah, you can do it.

Well, okay, heh.

Hi, this is Carol Lambert, uh, formerly Carol Foster.

Uh, if you want to leave a message for me, Frank, J.T.

Al, or Brendan Lambert, oh, or for Dana, Karen, or Mark Foster

or for my sister, Penny, who doesn't live here

but she takes her messages here, or for my mommy who doesn't--

Oh!

Just a message, not the story of your life.

Now, we need something brief.

Something simple, something boring.

I guess I'm your man.

Please leave a message.

He's a natural.

[all cheering]

[instrumental music]

Hi, mom! Hi, Aunt Penny! Hi, grandma!

Uh, did Bobby call?

Well, let's see.

Uh, "Rick, Dave, Larry, Jim, Roger, Fred

"Martin, Steve and Kyle.

"Chuck, Vin, Mike, Tony

"Joe, Tom, Shawn, John, Ron and Don.

Paul, Pete, Nate, Tate, Tye, Terry and Tim."

Nope, no Bobby.

Boy, what does a person have to do to get one lousy phone call?

I wish I knew.

Honey, guess what?

I just had the meeting with Kramer, and I got the job.

Oh, Frank, oh, that's wonderful.

I start the re-model at 9 a.m. sharp tomorrow.

And we begin the celebration tonight.

[sighs]

You know, I remember when I used to get kissed like that.

Really?

I didn't know daddy was so romantic.

Who said it was your daddy?

[instrumental music]

J.T., what's up?

Cody! Oh, my God, who died?

Oh-oh, I'm trying out my new image. Ha-ha.

I just hope Dana likes it.

You mean, you bought a suit just to impress Dana?

Oh, man! I haven't been this bummed since Milli Vanilli.

Dana! Notice anything different about me?

[sighs] From the second we met.

No, I mean, I'm wearing a suit and a tie.

See, I'm the executive field rep for the Fun Time Toy Company.

Check this out.

I'm the guy that puts these things

in the vending machines in supermarkets.

You got your inter-galactic warrior.

You got your fake tattoos.

You got your slimy rubber stuff that sticks to the walls

yet won't stain the furniture.

So, what do you think? Muy no impressivo,huh?

Cody, I think you finally found your niche.

Whoa! I didn't even know I lost it.

Thanks for taking me shopping, Karen.

I never had a fashion lesson before.

Well, I'd rather you learn it from me than out on the streets.

Now, let's review.

Horizontal stripes make you look?

Fat.

Vertical stripes make you look?

- Tall. - Very good!

Now, next week, I'll explain why gabardine is timeless.

Can't wait!

Messages!

[automated message] 'You have two messages.'

[beeps]

[Bobby] 'Hey, Karen, this is Bobby.'

'Listen, if you aren't doing anything'

'why don't you come by the yoghurt place at the mall?'

'I'll be here till about 6 o'clock.'

'We could, you know, hang out.'

'See ya.'

He wants to hang out with me.

[beeps]

[Kramer] 'Hello, Frank, this is Kramer.'

'Uh, I got some bad news about the apartment building.'

'The remodeling job is off'

'and we found some cracks in the foundation.'

'So, don't show up tomorrow'

'because the demo people will be there tearing it down.'

'I'm real sorry, Frank.'

[automated message] 'Your messages will now be erased.'

[beeps]

[instrumental music]

Whoa!

Cody, you look very handsome.

[chuckles]

Yeah, Uncle Frank helped me

clip on my tie, hah.

Want some breakfast?

Uh, no, thanks.

Uh, I'm a little queasy, you know.

- I'm a little nervous. - Well, that's understandable.

It's the first day on the job and everything.

Yeah, it makes a real bad impression on the boss

if you throw up on his desk.

At least it did last time.

Hi, honey! Hi, Cody!

- Mm. Hi, Frank. - Yeah!

- You want some coffee? - Uh, no, I'm running late.

I gotta meet, uh, Kramer at the apartment building. Bye.

- Oh, hey, Uncle Frank? - Yeah!

I want you to know that, uh

just because I'm a big corporate executive now

and, uh, you're just a working stiff

I still think of you as my uncle.

And I still think of you as my nephew.

Now there's a big man.

[chuckles]

[instrumental music]

[Frank] 'Kramer!'

[machines whirring]

Uh, Mr. Kramer, I'm here.

He must be running late.

Hey!

Mr. Kramer!

[instrumental music]

Cody!

What are you doing here?

Oh, I-I got fired.

Oh, no!

Listen, Carol, if you put your last quarter

into a vending machine and you had your heart set

on some really cool slime

but you got some stupid eraser instead, how would you feel?

Uh, devastated.

I'd feel gypped.

Me too. I mean, that's why I only put in the good prizes.

You know, I didn't wanna let down any of the kids.

You know what my boss said?

"How am I going to make any profit?"

Huh, can you believe it?

He is only in it for the money.

Well, Cody, there are some really sick people out there.

Pfft! Tell me about it.

[Carol] 'Okay, Brendan, you're all finished.'

- Thanks, Carol! - Okay.

Now, Cody, if it makes you feel any better

I think what you did was a really nice thing.

Yeah, but wh-what's Dana gonna think?

She's going to be really disappointed.

I only got this job to impress her

and then I messed it all up.

I don't think I can ever face her again.

[sighs]

Cody!

[sighs]

Frank! What happened to you?

Don't get in my way.

Frank, what are you doing?

I'm killing this machine.

Don't do that. Don't.

You're right. Killing is too easy.

I want to see it suffer.

Frank! Frank!

Get a hold of yourself. What happened?

I'll tell you what happened.

I'm waiting for Kramer in that apartment building

when this huge wrecking ball comes crashing through a window.

That much closer and you'd be talking to my neck right now.

Uh, Frank, that's terrible.

Why didn't Kramer call you?

He did call me.

He told me he left a message on our answering machine yesterday

but I didn't get a message.

And now this machine is gonna pay.

[grunting]

Frank!

Oh, this feels so good.

[yelping]

Frank! Frank, what have you done?

What if Bobby tries to leave another message?

Wait a minute, wait a minute, Karen, when did Bobby

leave a message?

Yesterday.

A-and were there any other messages

besides Bobby's?

Well, I was on my way to the mall.

But I think there was something about

an apartment building and cracks in the foundation.

It was from a mister..

Kramer?

Yeah!

Oh, good, you got it.

I took a ride on a three ton wrecking ball

because you had to meet someone at the mall.

Well, it wasn't just someone. It was Bobby.

You know, Karen, because of your carelessness

Frank shows up at a building that's being torn down

and he was almost killed.

Well, I'm really glad he wasn't.

Well, that's good enough for me.

Karen, uh, this is a very serious matter.

I'm gonna have to punish you. You are grounded for a month.

- I understand. - And no phone for a week.

No phone? Why don't you just kill me and get it over with?

[instrumental music]

Ah, Dana, what am I gonna do?

You know, it's been two whole days

and Cody still won't come out of his van.

I say if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

You know, Dana, he is out there because of you.

Mom, it's not my fault he lost his job.

No, you're-you're missing the point.

He had this idea that if he wore a suit and got a regular job

you'd start to like him.

It was a very sweet thing of him to do.

Don't you think you could at least talk to him?

[sighs] In person?

Oh, I forgot, you can't be bothered.

Just because one of the world's nicest guy has locked himself

in his cramped little van

all because he feels he disappointed you

the person he worships, the person he adores--

Mother, how long is this guilt trip gonna last?

Well, it could be a while. I'm startin' to get into it.

Okay, I'll talk to him.

Well, I mean, it's-it's up to you.

♪ You'll be my midnight baby ♪

♪ I'll be your midnight man ♪♪

[Dana] 'Cody, it's me, Dana.'

Dana! Oh! Aah!

Just a minute.

Dana!

Welcome to my humble commode.

Come on in.

Can I get you something?

Uh, some beef jerky or cheese in a can?

Uh, I got some junk food, too.

No, thanks.

Albert Einstein! Is he one of your heroes?

[chuckles] I didn't know who that dude was.

I just kinda liked how he got that

Don King hair groove going, you know?

Sit down.

Uh, alright.

Is this a water bed?

Oh, yeah. It's really good for your back, you know?

You have a bad back?

Oh, only since I got the water bed.

Look, Cody

I just want you to know

I'm really sorry you lost your job.

You must think I'm a real loser.

Not many people would put the happiness of little kids

ahead of making money.

I mean, a loser wouldn't do that.

You mean that?

First thing tomorrow, I'm gonna go out and hit the bricks

get myself another job.

Only this time, I'm gonna aim a lot lower.

Maybe I'll just be a lawyer.

Cody, you have a job.

Frank says you are the best

demolition man in the world.

Why change?

Are you saying you like me just the way I am?

I'm saying..

...nothing you do could change the way I feel about you.

Wow!

Well, goodnight, Cody, and, um, happy motoring.

Shh..

Alright!

Ooh, dude!

Hey, hey! She came to my van.

[laughs]

Totally.

Hi, Karen.

Where is your mother?

- Kitchen. - Uh, thanks.

Frank, can I talk to you for a second?

Oh, sure.

What's the matter?

Frank, I'm really sorry about what happened.

It was all my fault.

Well, Karen, do you understand what you did wrong?

Of course!

I realized that

your phone call from Mr. Kramer

was almost as important as my phone call from Bobby.

Close enough.

Listen, I know that giving up your phone privileges

is a big sacrifice for you.

I'll talk to your mother and I'll see

if I can get her to ease up a little, okay?

No, I don't deserve it.

I mean, you almost got killed.

I think the punishment fits the crime.

Okay.

[telephone rings]

Hello!

Mmm..

It's okay, Karen. It's for me.

Oh! Can I watch?

Yeah, sure, sure. Yeah, this is Frank.

Oh! Uh, Carol, listen, great news! I just talked to Kramer.

He finished demolishing that apartment building.

Guess who he picked to put-up 12 new luxury condominiums?

- Frank Lambert Construction? - Yes!

Oh!

Honey, do you know what this means?

- Oh, a lot of money. - Yeah!

- And a lot of prestige. - Mm-hmm!

- And a lot of money! - A lot of money!

[giggling]

Oh, Frank, I'm so proud of you.

Uh, okay, but what's that?

Oh, oh, this, it's a message board.

If someone calls us and leaves a message

on our new answering machine, all you have to do

is write it down, and then just stick it under his or her name.

Well, that's a wonderful idea, honey

but I'm still not sold on answering machines, uh..

Oh, come on, Frank. It has its advantages.

Oh, sure. Like what?

[telephone rings]

Well, like, if the phone rings

you don't have to answer it.

[beeps]

[Penny] 'Hi, Carol, it's Penny.'

'Come on, Carol, I know you're there, pick up.'

- 'Carol, come on! Hello?' - Shh.

'J.T.? Brendan? Hello?'

'Carol, I'm your sister, pick up the phone!'

[theme music]