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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:43,925 --> 00:00:46,044 ?? GOLDEN YEARS ?? 2 00:00:46,044 --> 00:00:47,546 ?? GOLD ?? 3 00:00:47,546 --> 00:00:49,047 ?? WHOP WHOP WHOP ?? 4 00:00:53,552 --> 00:00:55,053 ?? DON'T LET ME HEAR YOU SAY ?? 5 00:00:55,053 --> 00:00:57,556 ?? LIFE'S TAKING YOU NOWHERE ?? 6 00:00:58,023 --> 00:01:00,058 ?? ANGEL ?? 7 00:01:00,058 --> 00:01:02,561 ?? COME, GET UP, MY BABY ?? 8 00:01:02,727 --> 00:01:04,563 ?? LOOK AT THE SKY, LIFE'S BEGUN ?? 9 00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:08,984 ?? THE NIGHTS ARE WARM, AND THE DAYS ARE YOUNG ?? 10 00:01:08,984 --> 00:01:10,986 ?? COME, GET UP, MY BABY ?? 11 00:01:11,536 --> 00:01:14,072 ?? THERE'S MY BABY, LOST, THAT'S ALL ?? 12 00:01:14,072 --> 00:01:15,073 ?? ONCE I'M BEGGIN' YOU ?? 13 00:01:15,073 --> 00:01:19,077 ?? SAVE HER LITTLE SOUL ?? 14 00:01:19,077 --> 00:01:21,079 ?? GOLDEN YEARS ?? 15 00:01:21,079 --> 00:01:22,581 ?? GOLD ?? 16 00:01:22,581 --> 00:01:24,082 ?? WHOP WHOP WHOP ?? 17 00:01:25,584 --> 00:01:28,086 ?? COME, GET UP, MY BABY ?? 18 00:01:28,086 --> 00:01:30,088 ?? LAST NIGHT, THEY LOVED YOU ?? 19 00:01:30,589 --> 00:01:32,591 ?? OPENING DOORS AND PULLING SOME STRINGS ?? 20 00:01:32,591 --> 00:01:35,093 ?? ANGEL ?? 21 00:01:35,093 --> 00:01:37,095 ?? COME, GET UP, MY BABY ?? 22 00:01:37,228 --> 00:01:39,598 ?? IN WALKED LUCK, AND YOU LOOKED IN TIME ?? 23 00:01:39,598 --> 00:01:40,599 ?? NEVER LOOK BACK ?? 24 00:01:40,599 --> 00:01:44,102 ?? WALK TALL, ACT FINE ?? 25 00:01:44,102 --> 00:01:46,104 ?? COME, GET UP, MY BABY ?? 26 00:01:46,237 --> 00:01:48,106 ?? I'LL STICK WITH YOU, BABY ?? 27 00:01:48,106 --> 00:01:51,109 ?? FOR A THOUSAND YEARS ?? 28 00:01:51,109 --> 00:01:52,611 ?? NOTHING'S GONNA TOUCH YOU ?? 29 00:01:52,611 --> 00:01:58,116 ?? IN THESE GOLDEN YEARS ?? 30 00:02:00,285 --> 00:02:02,537 ?? GOLDEN YEARS ?? 31 00:02:02,537 --> 00:02:04,122 ?? GOLD ?? 32 00:02:04,122 --> 00:02:05,123 ?? WHOP WHOP WHOP ?? 33 00:02:05,123 --> 00:02:07,125 ?? COME, GET UP, MY BABY ?? 34 00:02:07,125 --> 00:02:09,628 ?? RUN FOR THE SHADOWS ?? 35 00:02:09,628 --> 00:02:12,097 ?? RUN FOR THE SHADOWS ?? 36 00:02:12,097 --> 00:02:13,632 ?? RUN FOR THE SHADOWS ?? 37 00:02:13,632 --> 00:02:16,635 ?? IN THESE GOLDEN YEARS ?? 38 00:02:16,635 --> 00:02:18,637 ?? SOME OF THESE DAYS, AND IT WON'T BE LONG ?? 39 00:02:18,637 --> 00:02:21,139 ?? GONNA DRIVE BACK DOWN WHERE YOU ONCE BELONGED ?? 40 00:02:21,139 --> 00:02:23,642 ?? IN THE BACK OF A DREAM CAR, 20-FOOT LONG ?? 41 00:02:23,642 --> 00:02:24,643 ?? DON'T CRY, MY SWEET ?? 42 00:02:24,726 --> 00:02:25,644 ?? DON'T BREAK MY HEART ?? 43 00:02:26,061 --> 00:02:28,146 ?? DOIN' ALL RIGHT, BUT YOU GOTTA GET SMART ?? 44 00:02:28,613 --> 00:02:30,148 ?? WISH UPON WISH UPON DAY UPON DAY ?? 45 00:02:30,148 --> 00:02:30,982 ?? I BELIEVE, O LORD ?? 46 00:02:30,982 --> 00:02:37,155 ?? I BELIEVE ALL THE WAY ?? 47 00:02:37,489 --> 00:02:39,991 ?? LOOK AT MY BABY, LOST, THAT'S ALL ?? 48 00:02:39,991 --> 00:02:40,992 ?? ONCE I'M BEGGIN' YOU ?? 49 00:02:40,992 --> 00:02:43,995 ?? SAVE HER LITTLE SOUL ?? 50 00:02:43,995 --> 00:02:44,996 DON'T LOSE IT. 51 00:02:45,463 --> 00:02:46,998 ?? GET UP, MY BABY ?? 52 00:02:46,998 --> 00:02:49,000 ?? RUN FOR THE SHADOWS ?? 53 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,503 ?? RUN FOR THE SHADOWS ?? 54 00:02:51,503 --> 00:02:53,004 ?? RUN FOR THE SHADOWS ?? 55 00:02:53,004 --> 00:02:56,508 ?? IN THESE GOLDEN YEARS ?? 56 00:02:58,510 --> 00:03:00,011 ?? COME, GET UP, MY BABY ?? 57 00:03:00,512 --> 00:03:03,014 YOUR WORK STUDY IS IN THE HOUSING OFFICE. 58 00:03:03,014 --> 00:03:05,016 6-YEAR MEDICAL PROGRAM-- 59 00:03:05,016 --> 00:03:07,018 BIOLOGY, ORGANIC CHEMISTRY-- 60 00:03:07,519 --> 00:03:09,020 FULL ACADEMIC SCHOLARSHIP? 61 00:03:09,020 --> 00:03:10,021 YEAH. 62 00:03:10,271 --> 00:03:12,023 I WANT TO KEEP FOCUSED ON MY CAREER TRACK. 63 00:03:12,023 --> 00:03:14,526 OK, BUT THIS IS A LOT OF CREDITS. 64 00:03:14,526 --> 00:03:16,528 BE SURE YOU DON'T FALL BEHIND. 65 00:03:17,529 --> 00:03:19,030 I THINK I CAN HANDLE IT. 66 00:03:19,030 --> 00:03:21,032 ?? I'LL STICK WITH YOU, BABY ?? 67 00:03:21,032 --> 00:03:23,034 ?? FOR A THOUSAND YEARS ?? 68 00:03:23,501 --> 00:03:25,537 ?? NOTHING'S GONNA TOUCH YOU ?? 69 00:03:25,537 --> 00:03:31,042 ?? IN THESE GOLDEN YEARS ?? 70 00:03:33,211 --> 00:03:35,046 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] 71 00:03:39,050 --> 00:03:40,552 Boy: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU. 72 00:03:41,052 --> 00:03:42,053 DUDES. 73 00:03:42,554 --> 00:03:44,055 IT DIDN'T GO AS FAR AS I THOUGHT. 74 00:03:45,056 --> 00:03:46,057 STOP! 75 00:03:46,057 --> 00:03:47,559 HI. 76 00:03:47,559 --> 00:03:49,060 HEY. 77 00:03:49,060 --> 00:03:51,529 [DIFFERENT MUSIC PLAYING] 78 00:03:55,066 --> 00:03:56,568 Boy: WHY ARE YOU GOING THROUGH MY STUFF? 79 00:03:56,568 --> 00:03:58,570 MA, WHY ARE YOU PUTTING THE FLANNEL SHEETS ON? 80 00:03:58,570 --> 00:04:02,073 IT'S SEPTEMBER. YOU WANT ME TO SWEAT MY ASS OFF? 81 00:04:05,076 --> 00:04:06,044 [MUSIC STOPS] 82 00:04:06,044 --> 00:04:08,079 [HAMMERING] 83 00:04:18,923 --> 00:04:20,091 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 84 00:04:20,091 --> 00:04:21,593 YOU MUST BE ONE OF MY ROOMMATES. 85 00:04:21,593 --> 00:04:23,561 I'M JOSH. THE SINGLE'S MINE. 86 00:04:23,561 --> 00:04:24,596 I CALLED IT. 87 00:04:26,097 --> 00:04:27,098 THAT SEEMS FAIR. 88 00:04:38,109 --> 00:04:39,110 OH, SORRY. 89 00:04:40,612 --> 00:04:42,196 Girl: SO, ANYWAY... GOD, I'M STARVING. 90 00:04:42,580 --> 00:04:44,115 Girl: ME, TOO. 91 00:04:45,617 --> 00:04:47,118 Girl: HE LETS YOU OUT EARLY EVERY CLASS. 92 00:04:47,251 --> 00:04:48,119 Girl: REALLY? 93 00:04:48,119 --> 00:04:49,120 MM-HMM. 94 00:04:51,623 --> 00:04:53,124 [BONG BUBBLING] 95 00:04:56,628 --> 00:04:59,130 [PERSON INHALES] 96 00:05:00,632 --> 00:05:01,633 HUH? 97 00:05:03,635 --> 00:05:04,636 HOLA. 98 00:05:05,637 --> 00:05:06,638 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 99 00:05:07,639 --> 00:05:09,641 OH. HEY, YOU MUST BE JOSH. 100 00:05:10,141 --> 00:05:10,642 LISTEN, I'M SORRY-- 101 00:05:11,109 --> 00:05:11,643 [MAN INHALES] 102 00:05:12,143 --> 00:05:15,146 ARE YOU GUYS GETTING STONED AGAIN? 103 00:05:15,146 --> 00:05:16,147 MAN! 104 00:05:16,147 --> 00:05:18,149 THAT IS CLASSIC! 105 00:05:18,149 --> 00:05:19,651 TAKE THESE. WE WOULD'VE BEEN HERE SOONER, 106 00:05:19,651 --> 00:05:22,153 BUT THESE GUYS KEPT STOPPING OFF FOR SNACKS. 107 00:05:22,153 --> 00:05:23,154 HEY, COOPER, 108 00:05:23,154 --> 00:05:26,157 YOU WERE THE ONE WHO HAD THE MUNCHIES. 109 00:05:26,157 --> 00:05:27,158 HA HA HA HA! 110 00:05:27,158 --> 00:05:29,661 WE SHOULD'VE NEVER HAVE GOTTEN HIGH IN BOSTON! 111 00:05:29,827 --> 00:05:30,662 OH, MAN, THAT WAS GREAT. 112 00:05:30,662 --> 00:05:32,163 Man: LIGHT UP ANOTHER ONE, MAN. 113 00:05:32,163 --> 00:05:33,164 OHH. 114 00:05:33,164 --> 00:05:35,166 YEAH. HMM. 115 00:05:37,168 --> 00:05:38,169 JOSH... 116 00:05:38,169 --> 00:05:39,170 WHERE DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD PUT THE BONG? 117 00:05:39,504 --> 00:05:41,172 IN THE CLOSET? 118 00:05:41,172 --> 00:05:43,675 NO. THIS IS A SHOWCASE BONG. 119 00:05:43,675 --> 00:05:45,176 TAKE A LOOK AT IT, HUH? 120 00:05:45,677 --> 00:05:46,678 HEY, DO YOU WANT A HIT? 121 00:05:46,678 --> 00:05:47,679 UH... 122 00:05:47,679 --> 00:05:49,180 NO. 123 00:05:49,180 --> 00:05:51,182 I JUST BRUSHED MY TEETH. 124 00:05:51,315 --> 00:05:52,684 JOSH, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BED, ARE YOU? 125 00:05:52,684 --> 00:05:55,186 ACTUALLY, YEAH. I GOT TO GET UP EARLY TOMORROW. 126 00:05:55,486 --> 00:05:57,689 SHIT. I JUST MET THESE PEOPLE DOWNSTAIRS, 127 00:05:57,689 --> 00:05:59,190 AND I TOLD THEM TO COME UP FOR A FEW DRINKS. 128 00:05:59,190 --> 00:06:00,692 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY'RE RIGHT OUTSIDE. 129 00:06:01,192 --> 00:06:01,693 I'LL GET RID OF THEM. 130 00:06:02,193 --> 00:06:03,695 NO, NO, IT'S OK. 131 00:06:04,028 --> 00:06:05,196 REALLY? 132 00:06:05,196 --> 00:06:06,698 ARE YOU SURE? BECAUSE I CAN TELL THEM TO GET LOST. 133 00:06:06,864 --> 00:06:09,200 NO. IT'S COOL. I-- 134 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,169 LET ME PUT ON SOME PANTS. 135 00:06:11,169 --> 00:06:12,203 ALL RIGHT. 136 00:06:12,203 --> 00:06:13,705 HEY, GUYS, COME ON IN. 137 00:06:13,705 --> 00:06:15,206 HEY, THIS IS JOSH. THIS IS MY NEW ROOMMATE. 138 00:06:15,206 --> 00:06:16,708 JOSH, SAY HELLO, HUH? 139 00:06:16,708 --> 00:06:18,209 WHAT'S GOING ON, GUYS? HOW YOU DOING? ALL RIGHT? 140 00:06:18,209 --> 00:06:20,211 GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 141 00:06:20,211 --> 00:06:21,212 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] 142 00:06:21,212 --> 00:06:22,213 WHO WANTS SOME DRINKS? 143 00:06:29,721 --> 00:06:31,723 WHAT'S GOING ON? OVER THERE, GUYS. 144 00:06:32,056 --> 00:06:33,224 OVER THERE. 145 00:06:33,224 --> 00:06:34,726 YEAH. THIS IS A PARTY. 146 00:06:35,226 --> 00:06:36,227 SHOW ME THE MUFF. 147 00:06:36,227 --> 00:06:38,229 PASS THOSE OUT. THERE YOU GO. 148 00:06:43,735 --> 00:06:45,236 Boy: WHAT THE FUCK? 149 00:06:46,237 --> 00:06:48,239 TURN THAT SHIT OFF! 150 00:06:52,744 --> 00:06:54,245 [TURNS OFF MUSIC] HEY, BUDDY. 151 00:06:54,245 --> 00:06:56,247 YOU MUST BE KYLE. 152 00:06:56,247 --> 00:06:57,248 I'M COOPER. 153 00:06:57,248 --> 00:06:59,250 I'M NOT YOUR BUDDY... 154 00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:00,251 BUDDY. 155 00:07:00,251 --> 00:07:01,753 OK. 156 00:07:01,753 --> 00:07:02,754 OH, LOOK AT THAT. 157 00:07:02,754 --> 00:07:06,758 I SEE YOU LIKE GIRLS. 158 00:07:06,758 --> 00:07:08,259 YOU MUST BE THE PRODUCT OF AN ALL BOYS SCHOOL. 159 00:07:08,259 --> 00:07:09,761 CATHOLIC ALL BOYS SCHOOL. 160 00:07:09,761 --> 00:07:13,231 CATH--HOLY MARY, MOTHER OF GOD. 161 00:07:13,231 --> 00:07:14,766 YOU'RE SO HORNY YOU'VE TURNED MEAN. 162 00:07:16,267 --> 00:07:18,269 YOU KEEP THAT MUSIC OFF, 163 00:07:18,269 --> 00:07:19,771 ASSHOLE, 164 00:07:19,771 --> 00:07:22,740 OR I'M GOING TO BASH YOUR FUCKING HEAD IN! 165 00:07:24,275 --> 00:07:26,277 KYLE, KYLE, KYLE. 166 00:07:26,277 --> 00:07:28,279 [LAUGHS] 167 00:07:28,279 --> 00:07:29,781 YOU'RE BEING AN ASSHOLE. 168 00:07:29,781 --> 00:07:31,783 NOW, YOU GO AROUND BASHING PEOPLE'S HEADS IN, 169 00:07:31,916 --> 00:07:33,785 GIRLS AREN'T GOING TO THINK YOU'RE COOL. 170 00:07:33,785 --> 00:07:34,786 THEY'RE GOING TO THINK YOU'RE A STEROID FREAK 171 00:07:34,786 --> 00:07:36,788 WITH A PIXIE DICK AND AN ASS FOR A BRAIN. 172 00:07:41,793 --> 00:07:42,794 REALLY? 173 00:07:42,794 --> 00:07:43,795 HEH HEH. 174 00:07:46,297 --> 00:07:48,299 EVERYBODY, THIS IS KYLE. 175 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,302 GIVE HIM A BEER. COME ON, LET'S START THE MUSIC. 176 00:07:51,302 --> 00:07:53,304 LET'S GO. LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED, HUH? 177 00:07:55,106 --> 00:07:55,807 Cooper: ALL RIGHT, WHERE WERE WE? 178 00:07:56,307 --> 00:07:58,309 MARTINIS, HUH? 179 00:07:58,309 --> 00:07:59,811 ALL RIGHT. INCOMING. 180 00:07:59,811 --> 00:08:00,812 HEY. 181 00:08:00,812 --> 00:08:02,814 HEY, I'M PICKLE. 182 00:08:03,314 --> 00:08:05,316 I JUST THOUGHT YOU COULD USE THESE THINGS. 183 00:08:05,316 --> 00:08:06,818 OH, YOUR NAME'S PICKLE, HUH? 184 00:08:06,951 --> 00:08:08,820 WHAT'D YOU DO, KNOCK OFF AN APPLIANCE STORE? 185 00:08:08,953 --> 00:08:10,822 I HAD SOME STUFF SHIPPED HERE. 186 00:08:10,822 --> 00:08:12,323 IT KIND OF REMINDS ME OF HOME, YOU KNOW? 187 00:08:12,623 --> 00:08:14,325 THAT BLENDER REMINDS YOU OF HOME? 188 00:08:14,659 --> 00:08:16,828 OH, YEAH. DEFINITELY. 189 00:08:16,828 --> 00:08:17,829 [LAUGHS] 190 00:08:17,829 --> 00:08:18,830 MARTINIS! 191 00:08:18,830 --> 00:08:20,331 WHAT IS THAT? 192 00:08:20,832 --> 00:08:21,332 THAT'S A MATH AWARD. 193 00:08:21,833 --> 00:08:22,800 LOOKS LIKE A DILDO. 194 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:25,336 HEY, ZEKE, LOOK. IT'S A DILDO. 195 00:08:27,338 --> 00:08:29,841 HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. 196 00:08:29,841 --> 00:08:31,342 HEY. 197 00:08:31,342 --> 00:08:32,844 HEY... 198 00:08:34,345 --> 00:08:36,347 HERE'S YOUR DILDO. 199 00:08:36,347 --> 00:08:37,348 THANKS. 200 00:08:37,348 --> 00:08:38,349 OHH. 201 00:08:38,349 --> 00:08:40,351 SO, JOSH... 202 00:08:40,351 --> 00:08:41,352 TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF. 203 00:08:41,352 --> 00:08:42,854 I DON'T KNOW. UH... 204 00:08:43,354 --> 00:08:44,355 I'M FROM INDIANA, 205 00:08:44,355 --> 00:08:46,858 AND I'M IN THE 6-YEAR MEDICAL PROGRAM. 206 00:08:46,858 --> 00:08:49,360 SO YOU, LIKE, STUDIED IN HIGH SCHOOL? 207 00:08:49,861 --> 00:08:50,862 WOW, THAT'S COOL. 208 00:08:50,862 --> 00:08:52,830 YOU KNOW, I HAD A COUPLE OF FRIENDS WHO DID THAT. 209 00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:54,365 OH, YEAH? 210 00:08:56,367 --> 00:08:57,368 OH, SHE'S NICE. 211 00:08:57,368 --> 00:08:58,870 GOOD CHOICE. GO TALK TO HER. 212 00:08:58,870 --> 00:08:59,871 I DON'T THINK SO. 213 00:09:00,371 --> 00:09:01,372 WHY? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? 214 00:09:01,372 --> 00:09:03,374 SIT IN BED UNTIL SHE GOES HOME WITH SOMEBODY ELSE? 215 00:09:03,374 --> 00:09:04,876 YEAH. I'M IN MY UNDERWEAR. 216 00:09:05,376 --> 00:09:06,878 SO WHAT? JOSH, YOU DON'T NEED TO GET DRESSED. 217 00:09:06,878 --> 00:09:07,879 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL BRING HER OVER. 218 00:09:07,879 --> 00:09:09,380 NO, NO, NO. 219 00:09:09,380 --> 00:09:10,882 WHAT? 220 00:09:10,882 --> 00:09:13,885 DO YOU WANT ME TO GO GET YOU SOME PANTS? 221 00:09:13,885 --> 00:09:14,886 YEAH. WOULD YOU? 222 00:09:14,886 --> 00:09:15,887 AHH. 223 00:09:20,391 --> 00:09:21,392 THAT'S RACHEL GILMORE. 224 00:09:21,893 --> 00:09:22,894 SHE'S FROM NEW YORK, 225 00:09:23,394 --> 00:09:24,896 AND SHE LIKES CREATIVE WRITING. 226 00:09:25,029 --> 00:09:25,897 HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT? 227 00:09:27,865 --> 00:09:29,901 FRESHMAN FACE BOOK. 228 00:09:29,901 --> 00:09:32,403 I'M JUST, LIKE, PTOOF! 229 00:09:32,403 --> 00:09:34,405 JACKING OFF TO THAT THING FOR, LIKE, 3 WEEKS. 230 00:09:34,405 --> 00:09:35,406 [SNORTS] 231 00:09:35,706 --> 00:09:37,408 OH. 232 00:09:39,911 --> 00:09:41,913 THIS IS MY BROTHER'S RITALIN. 233 00:09:41,913 --> 00:09:43,915 RITALIN'S GOOD FOR STUDYING MATH OR SCIENCE. 234 00:09:44,081 --> 00:09:45,416 JUST DON'T TRY TO WRITE ENGLISH PAPERS ON IT, 235 00:09:45,416 --> 00:09:46,918 BECAUSE IT WON'T MAKE ANY SENSE. 236 00:09:47,084 --> 00:09:48,419 ENJOY THEM. 237 00:09:48,419 --> 00:09:49,921 THIS IS MY MOM'S DIET PILLS-- 238 00:09:49,921 --> 00:09:50,922 LOVELY FOR PULLING ALL-NIGHTERS 239 00:09:50,922 --> 00:09:52,423 AND FOREIGN LANGUAGES. 240 00:09:55,927 --> 00:09:57,929 Girl: HEY, JENNIFER, 241 00:09:58,396 --> 00:09:59,931 COME HERE. 242 00:09:59,931 --> 00:10:01,432 [EXHALES] 243 00:10:03,734 --> 00:10:05,436 NICE CROSS. 244 00:10:05,436 --> 00:10:07,438 THANKS. 245 00:10:07,571 --> 00:10:08,940 ARE YOU CATHOLIC? 246 00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:10,942 YEAH. 247 00:10:10,942 --> 00:10:13,945 I WENT TO SACRED HEART SCHOOL FOR GIRLS. 248 00:10:14,946 --> 00:10:16,447 I LOVE YOU. 249 00:10:19,951 --> 00:10:20,952 WHY, HELLO, LADIES. 250 00:10:21,085 --> 00:10:21,953 WE HAVEN'T MET. 251 00:10:22,253 --> 00:10:23,454 I'M COOPER. THIS IS JOSH. 252 00:10:23,454 --> 00:10:24,455 HI. 253 00:10:24,755 --> 00:10:26,457 DO YOU GUYS GO TO DALEMAN? 254 00:10:26,457 --> 00:10:28,459 IT'S THEIR ROOM, LUCY. 255 00:10:28,459 --> 00:10:29,460 YEAH? 256 00:10:29,593 --> 00:10:31,963 I'M LUCY, AND THESE ARE MY HOMEGIRLS. 257 00:10:31,963 --> 00:10:32,964 RIGHT, KRISTIN? 258 00:10:32,964 --> 00:10:34,465 ISN'T THAT WHAT THEY SAY WHERE YOU'RE FROM? 259 00:10:34,465 --> 00:10:36,467 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WHERE I'M FROM"? 260 00:10:36,467 --> 00:10:38,970 OH, YOU KNOW, THE 'HOOD. 261 00:10:38,970 --> 00:10:42,473 LUCY, WE NEED TO HAVE A LITTLE TALK. 262 00:10:44,275 --> 00:10:44,976 AHEM. 263 00:10:44,976 --> 00:10:47,979 WELL, TALK. 264 00:10:47,979 --> 00:10:49,981 UH, HEY, UM... 265 00:10:49,981 --> 00:10:50,982 HI. 266 00:10:51,115 --> 00:10:52,984 HI. YOU MUST BE RACHEL. 267 00:10:52,984 --> 00:10:53,985 YEAH, YEAH. HOW DID YOU KNOW? 268 00:10:53,985 --> 00:10:55,486 OH, IT'S IN THE FACE BOOK. 269 00:10:55,987 --> 00:10:57,989 OH, YOU MEMORIZED THE FACE BOOK? 270 00:10:58,322 --> 00:10:59,490 NO. MY ROOMMATE DID. 271 00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:02,493 HE WAS JACK--A-LACKIN'... 272 00:11:02,493 --> 00:11:04,495 HE WAS JACK-A-LACKIN' AROUND TO IT. 273 00:11:04,495 --> 00:11:06,497 HE WAS WHAT? 274 00:11:06,497 --> 00:11:07,498 UM... 275 00:11:07,498 --> 00:11:09,500 HEH HEH HEH. NEVER MIND. 276 00:11:09,967 --> 00:11:11,002 RACHEL, COME ON. 277 00:11:11,002 --> 00:11:12,003 UH, JUST A SECOND. 278 00:11:12,003 --> 00:11:14,005 I GOT TO GO. UM... 279 00:11:14,005 --> 00:11:16,007 SO, I'LL SEE YOU AROUND MAYBE. 280 00:11:16,507 --> 00:11:17,508 OH, YEAH. NO, YEAH. 281 00:11:18,009 --> 00:11:19,010 YEAH, YEAH. NO. 282 00:11:19,010 --> 00:11:20,011 I MEAN, YEAH. 283 00:11:20,144 --> 00:11:21,512 YES. 284 00:11:21,512 --> 00:11:23,014 I'LL SEE EACH OTHER AROUND. 285 00:11:23,014 --> 00:11:24,515 OK. HA HA! 286 00:11:24,515 --> 00:11:26,017 ALL RIGHT. SO, BYE. 287 00:11:26,017 --> 00:11:27,018 RACHEL. 288 00:11:27,018 --> 00:11:28,019 JOSH. 289 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:30,021 BYE. 290 00:11:32,189 --> 00:11:34,025 [SIGHS] 291 00:11:36,027 --> 00:11:37,028 OH, YEAH, THAT WAS SMOOTH. 292 00:11:37,028 --> 00:11:38,529 YOU'LL HAVE TO GIVE US SOME POINTERS. 293 00:11:38,529 --> 00:11:40,031 YOU'RE THE SHIT, MAN. 294 00:11:40,031 --> 00:11:42,533 [LAUGHS] 295 00:11:47,171 --> 00:11:49,173 [ALARM BUZZING] 296 00:11:51,175 --> 00:11:53,177 [ALARM STOPS] 297 00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:57,181 COOPER? 298 00:11:57,181 --> 00:11:59,183 MY ARM'S ASLEEP. 299 00:11:59,183 --> 00:12:00,685 OW! 300 00:12:00,685 --> 00:12:03,187 OHH! OH, MY GOD, ARE YOU OK? 301 00:12:07,692 --> 00:12:08,693 HEY, JOSH. 302 00:12:10,194 --> 00:12:11,195 HI. 303 00:12:13,197 --> 00:12:14,198 OHH. 304 00:12:14,198 --> 00:12:15,199 SORRY. 305 00:12:18,202 --> 00:12:20,705 THIS IS NOT HIGH SCHOOL BIOLOGY, OK, PEOPLE? 306 00:12:21,205 --> 00:12:22,206 WE WON'T BE BRINGING IN FERNS 307 00:12:22,707 --> 00:12:23,708 FOR SHOW AND TELL. 308 00:12:23,708 --> 00:12:25,710 IF YOU BRING IN CHOCOLATE, THEN WE ARE IN BUSINESS. 309 00:12:26,210 --> 00:12:28,546 IT IS IMPERATIVE YOU DO THE REQUIRED READING, 310 00:12:28,546 --> 00:12:29,714 OR YOU SHALL BE LOST. 311 00:12:29,714 --> 00:12:32,717 IT IS IMPERATIVE YOU HANG ON MY EVERY WORD, 312 00:12:32,717 --> 00:12:34,218 OR YOU SHALL BE LOST. 313 00:12:34,218 --> 00:12:36,721 IT IS IMPERATIVE YOU BUY MY BOOK, 314 00:12:36,721 --> 00:12:39,724 ORGANIC CHEMISTRY-- THE IMPOSSIBLE DISCIPLINE 315 00:12:39,724 --> 00:12:42,226 BY S.F. COLLINS, WHO IS I, 316 00:12:42,226 --> 00:12:43,728 OR YOU SHALL BE SO LOST, 317 00:12:44,228 --> 00:12:46,230 YOU'LL NEVER BE FOUND AGAIN. 318 00:12:52,436 --> 00:12:56,240 THIS IS THE FIRST CLASS, ISN'T IT? 319 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,242 THIS IS AN ADVANCED ANATOMY LAB. 320 00:12:58,242 --> 00:13:00,244 WE WILL BE SPENDING THE MAJORITY OF OUR TIME 321 00:13:00,244 --> 00:13:02,747 DISSECTING A HUMAN CADAVER. 322 00:13:02,747 --> 00:13:04,248 SAY HELLO TO BOB. [GASPS] 323 00:13:04,615 --> 00:13:06,751 LET'S OPEN BOB UP, SHALL WE? 324 00:13:08,252 --> 00:13:09,754 YOUR JOB AT THE HOUSING OFFICE 325 00:13:09,754 --> 00:13:11,756 IS TO PROCESS HOUSING TRANSFER REQUESTS. 326 00:13:12,256 --> 00:13:14,258 DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE. DON'T STUDY AT WORK. 327 00:13:14,258 --> 00:13:15,259 DON'T ANNOY ME. 328 00:13:15,259 --> 00:13:16,260 THAT'S IT. 329 00:13:21,265 --> 00:13:22,266 Cooper: JOSH. 330 00:13:23,267 --> 00:13:24,769 HELP. 331 00:13:24,769 --> 00:13:26,270 I NEED WATER. 332 00:13:26,771 --> 00:13:28,773 Cooper: UHH. WATER. 333 00:13:32,276 --> 00:13:33,778 WATER. 334 00:13:33,778 --> 00:13:34,779 UHH. 335 00:13:37,281 --> 00:13:38,282 SWALLOW. 336 00:13:38,649 --> 00:13:39,283 SWALLOW. 337 00:13:42,286 --> 00:13:43,788 AHH. 338 00:13:43,788 --> 00:13:46,791 SO, KIND OF A LATE NIGHT LAST NIGHT, HUH? 339 00:13:46,791 --> 00:13:47,792 OH. 340 00:13:47,792 --> 00:13:49,794 PAMMY. 341 00:13:49,794 --> 00:13:51,796 I THOUGHT I DREAMT HER. 342 00:13:52,797 --> 00:13:55,299 ISN'T COLLEGE GREAT? 343 00:13:55,299 --> 00:13:57,802 THIS CAN'T BE THE RIGHT ANSWER. 344 00:13:57,802 --> 00:13:59,804 THERE ARE TOO MANY VARIABLES IN THIS EQUATION. 345 00:13:59,804 --> 00:14:02,306 HEY, JOSH, DO YOU HAVE IT? 346 00:14:02,306 --> 00:14:03,307 UH... 347 00:14:03,808 --> 00:14:04,809 YEAH. 348 00:14:04,809 --> 00:14:05,810 NEGATIVE 4. 349 00:14:05,810 --> 00:14:07,311 [STUDENTS GIGGLE] 350 00:14:07,311 --> 00:14:09,814 WELL, THAT WOULD BE CORRECT, JOSH, 351 00:14:09,814 --> 00:14:11,816 IF WE WERE STILL ON BINOMIALS. 352 00:14:11,816 --> 00:14:13,818 [LAUGHTER] 353 00:14:19,824 --> 00:14:21,826 I GOT TO CLEAN MY BONG, 354 00:14:21,826 --> 00:14:24,328 'CAUSE I CAN'T MIX THE KIND WITH THE SHWAG. 355 00:14:24,328 --> 00:14:25,830 WHERE'S MY PIPE CLEANER? 356 00:14:26,330 --> 00:14:27,832 I DON'T KNOW. I'M STUDYING. 357 00:14:27,832 --> 00:14:28,833 WELL, JOSH, 358 00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:30,835 I THINK IT'S TIME FOR A STUDY BREAK. 359 00:14:31,202 --> 00:14:32,336 NO, THANK YOU, REALLY. 360 00:14:32,336 --> 00:14:33,254 OH! OH! 361 00:14:33,254 --> 00:14:34,338 OH, MAN. 362 00:14:34,338 --> 00:14:35,840 SORRY. SORRY. HERE. 363 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:36,841 HEY, THAT'S MY SWEATER. 364 00:14:36,841 --> 00:14:39,343 WHAT? LOOK, I'M PICKING IT UP. 365 00:14:39,343 --> 00:14:40,845 OH, MAN. 366 00:14:40,845 --> 00:14:43,797 NOW EVERYTHING SMELLS LIKE BONG WATER. 367 00:14:45,349 --> 00:14:46,350 HEY. 368 00:14:46,517 --> 00:14:47,351 HEY. 369 00:14:47,351 --> 00:14:49,353 I'M JUST GOING TO PACK UP SOME OF MY THINGS, 370 00:14:49,353 --> 00:14:51,355 BECAUSE I'M GOING TO BE STAYING AT KELLY'S PLACE 371 00:14:51,355 --> 00:14:52,806 FOR A WHILE. 372 00:14:52,890 --> 00:14:53,858 IS IT COOL IF I USE YOUR ROOM FOR BONGING? 'CAUSE-- 373 00:14:53,858 --> 00:14:55,860 NO! IT'S NOT COOL. 374 00:14:55,860 --> 00:14:58,362 WHILE I'M GONE, DON'T FUCK WITH MY STUFF! 375 00:14:58,362 --> 00:14:59,864 EASY, KILLER. 376 00:15:00,030 --> 00:15:01,365 REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU? 377 00:15:01,532 --> 00:15:03,367 YEAH. 378 00:15:03,367 --> 00:15:05,369 DON'T FUCK WITH MY STUFF... 379 00:15:05,369 --> 00:15:06,370 PLEASE. 380 00:15:07,872 --> 00:15:09,874 [LAUGHS] 381 00:15:11,041 --> 00:15:12,877 [LOUD SCRATCHING] 382 00:15:16,380 --> 00:15:17,882 LOOK, COOPER, COULD YOU DO THAT SOMEPLACE ELSE? 383 00:15:19,383 --> 00:15:21,385 LISTEN, I'M HERE ON AN ACADEMIC SCHOLARSHIP, 384 00:15:21,385 --> 00:15:24,388 AND I'M SERIOUS WHEN I SAY I GOT TO STUDY. 385 00:15:24,388 --> 00:15:25,890 AND I CAN'T DO IT WHEN YOU'RE DISTRACTING ME 386 00:15:25,890 --> 00:15:26,891 EVERY 2 SECONDS. 387 00:15:26,891 --> 00:15:28,392 [SCRATCHES] 388 00:15:28,893 --> 00:15:29,894 YOU KNOW WHAT? 389 00:15:29,894 --> 00:15:31,896 I'M SERIOUS WHEN I TELL YOU I NEED TO CLEAN MY BONG, 390 00:15:31,896 --> 00:15:32,897 AND I CAN'T DO IT WITH YOU CHEWING ME OUT 391 00:15:33,397 --> 00:15:34,398 EVERY 2 SECONDS. 392 00:15:34,765 --> 00:15:36,400 I'M GOING IN PICKLE'S ROOM, 393 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:39,904 IN CASE YOU WANT TO CATCH A BEER LATER. 394 00:15:42,439 --> 00:15:44,408 [MACHINE BEEPS] 395 00:15:44,408 --> 00:15:45,910 HEY, JOSH, HOW'S IT GOING? 396 00:15:45,910 --> 00:15:47,912 OH, MAN, I GOT A LONG NIGHT AHEAD OF ME. 397 00:15:47,912 --> 00:15:48,913 HOW YOU DOING? 398 00:15:48,913 --> 00:15:51,916 OH, I'M ALL RIGHT. I GOT A RASH ON MY BALLS. 399 00:15:51,916 --> 00:15:52,917 HEY. 400 00:15:53,284 --> 00:15:54,919 [PLAYING VIDEO GAME] 401 00:16:00,424 --> 00:16:01,425 LOOK... 402 00:16:01,926 --> 00:16:02,927 I KNOW WE'RE DIFFERENT, 403 00:16:02,927 --> 00:16:04,428 BUT WE JUST GOT TO FIGURE OUT A WAY 404 00:16:04,428 --> 00:16:05,930 THAT WE CAN SHARE THE ROOM, 405 00:16:05,930 --> 00:16:07,431 AND THEN I CAN STUDY, 406 00:16:07,431 --> 00:16:10,935 AND YOU CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS THAT YOU DO. 407 00:16:10,935 --> 00:16:11,936 RIGHT. YEAH. 408 00:16:12,436 --> 00:16:14,438 I MEAN, THAT'S COOL. 409 00:16:19,443 --> 00:16:20,444 Cooper: OHH. OHH. 410 00:16:20,444 --> 00:16:21,445 OH, REALLY? 411 00:16:21,946 --> 00:16:23,447 MMM. 412 00:16:23,447 --> 00:16:24,448 TAKE THIS OFF. 413 00:16:24,448 --> 00:16:25,449 MMM. MMM, MMM. 414 00:16:25,449 --> 00:16:26,450 OH, YEAH. TAKE THIS OFF. 415 00:16:26,817 --> 00:16:27,451 TAKE IT OFF. 416 00:16:27,451 --> 00:16:28,452 I WANT TO TAKE YOURS OFF. 417 00:16:28,452 --> 00:16:29,453 TAKE IT OFF. 418 00:16:29,903 --> 00:16:30,955 YOU TAKE YOURS OFF UNDER THE SHEETS. 419 00:16:30,955 --> 00:16:32,406 OH, YES. 420 00:16:32,623 --> 00:16:33,907 OH! 421 00:16:33,907 --> 00:16:35,909 BE GENTLE. IT'S MY FIRST TIME. 422 00:16:35,909 --> 00:16:36,910 PULL ON MY LOBES WHEN YOU DO THAT. 423 00:16:37,411 --> 00:16:38,412 OH, YOU HAVE GREAT INSTINCTS. 424 00:16:39,913 --> 00:16:41,415 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 425 00:16:41,415 --> 00:16:42,416 WHAT ABOUT YOUR ROOMMATE? 426 00:16:42,416 --> 00:16:43,417 OH, DON'T WORRY. 427 00:16:43,917 --> 00:16:44,418 HE LIKES TO WATCH. 428 00:16:44,918 --> 00:16:45,419 OH. 429 00:17:03,937 --> 00:17:06,940 WELL, JOSH, SO NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US. 430 00:17:06,940 --> 00:17:08,942 I'M SORRY. I... 431 00:17:09,943 --> 00:17:11,445 M-- 432 00:17:11,445 --> 00:17:13,447 SORRY. 433 00:17:13,531 --> 00:17:15,533 NO, MOM, THE WORK IS FINE. 434 00:17:15,833 --> 00:17:16,534 I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS, 435 00:17:16,534 --> 00:17:18,536 BECAUSE MIDTERMS ARE IN 3 WEEKS. 436 00:17:18,536 --> 00:17:19,537 Mom: UH-HUH. 437 00:17:19,537 --> 00:17:21,038 BUT, YEAH, EVERYTHING'S GREAT. 438 00:17:21,038 --> 00:17:22,039 ARE YOU SURE, HONEY? 439 00:17:22,039 --> 00:17:24,041 YEAH. REALLY. SUPER. 440 00:17:24,041 --> 00:17:26,043 CAN YOU HOLD ON A SECOND? 441 00:17:26,043 --> 00:17:27,044 HELLO? 442 00:17:27,044 --> 00:17:28,045 Cooper: JOSH, IT'S ME. 443 00:17:28,045 --> 00:17:29,046 LISTEN, I'M HEADING OVER TO THE LUCKY PEACH, 444 00:17:29,547 --> 00:17:30,548 AND THERE'S 3 GIRLS WAITING FOR ME, 445 00:17:31,048 --> 00:17:33,050 BUT I CAN'T THINK OF ANY GIRLIE THINGS TO SAY, 446 00:17:33,050 --> 00:17:34,552 SO I NEED SOME BACKUP. 447 00:17:34,552 --> 00:17:36,053 DON'T SAY NO. 448 00:17:36,554 --> 00:17:38,055 NO, COOPER. 449 00:17:38,055 --> 00:17:40,057 IF I WAS SOME BORING OLD PROFESSOR, 450 00:17:40,057 --> 00:17:41,058 YOU WOULDN'T SAY NO. 451 00:17:41,058 --> 00:17:43,060 OUT. YOU'RE A PAWN, JOSH. 452 00:17:43,060 --> 00:17:44,061 STICK IT TO THE MAN. 453 00:17:44,061 --> 00:17:46,564 THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED. 454 00:17:46,564 --> 00:17:48,065 BYE. 455 00:17:48,065 --> 00:17:49,066 HI, MOM? 456 00:17:49,066 --> 00:17:50,067 YEAH, THAT WAS COOPER, 457 00:17:50,367 --> 00:17:52,069 AND HE SAID THAT HE WANTED ME TO MEET HIM 458 00:17:52,570 --> 00:17:53,571 AT THE LIBRARY, 459 00:17:54,071 --> 00:17:55,573 SO... 460 00:17:55,573 --> 00:17:56,574 I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, OK? 461 00:17:57,074 --> 00:17:57,575 Mom: ALL RIGHT. I LOVE YOU. 462 00:17:58,075 --> 00:17:59,577 OK. I LOVE YOU, TOO. 463 00:17:59,577 --> 00:18:00,578 BYE. 464 00:18:18,095 --> 00:18:19,597 I NEVER DOUBTED YOU FOR A SECOND. 465 00:18:19,597 --> 00:18:20,598 ONE DRINK. ONE DRINK. 466 00:18:21,098 --> 00:18:21,599 THEN I GOT TO GET BACK. 467 00:18:22,099 --> 00:18:22,600 THEN YOU GOT TO GET BACK. 468 00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:23,601 OK. 469 00:18:29,106 --> 00:18:30,608 NOW, TRY TO BE CHARMING, JOSH. 470 00:18:30,608 --> 00:18:32,610 AND DON'T TALK ABOUT STUDYING, 471 00:18:32,610 --> 00:18:34,612 BECAUSE, BELIEVE ME, IT'S A TURNOFF. 472 00:18:35,112 --> 00:18:37,114 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] 473 00:18:40,918 --> 00:18:43,120 YEP. THIS IS A BAR. 474 00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:44,088 COOPER, I GOT TO GO. 475 00:18:44,088 --> 00:18:45,623 NO, NO, NO, I SHOULD BE HEADED BACK. 476 00:18:45,623 --> 00:18:46,624 HEY, JOSH. 477 00:18:46,624 --> 00:18:47,625 HEY. HEY. 478 00:18:47,625 --> 00:18:48,626 WHERE HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN? 479 00:18:48,626 --> 00:18:50,127 WE'VE BEEN GETTING DRUNK WITHOUT YOU. 480 00:18:50,127 --> 00:18:51,128 COME ON. 481 00:18:52,129 --> 00:18:54,632 YOU WERE RIGHT. WE REALLY SHOULD HEAD BACK. 482 00:18:54,632 --> 00:18:55,633 NO. 483 00:18:55,633 --> 00:18:56,634 I CHANGED MY MIND. 484 00:18:57,134 --> 00:18:58,636 HEY, COOPER! 485 00:18:59,103 --> 00:19:00,638 COOPER... 486 00:19:00,638 --> 00:19:02,139 WE FINISHED THE PITCHER. 487 00:19:02,139 --> 00:19:03,641 WE NEED MORE BEER. 488 00:19:04,642 --> 00:19:06,143 SO, HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING? 489 00:19:06,644 --> 00:19:07,144 WHAT, WITH ME? 490 00:19:07,645 --> 00:19:08,145 MM-HMM. 491 00:19:08,646 --> 00:19:09,146 OH, AWESOME. 492 00:19:09,647 --> 00:19:11,148 YEAH. YEAH. 493 00:19:11,148 --> 00:19:12,149 IF I DIDN'T HAVE ALL THIS HELLISH WORK 494 00:19:12,149 --> 00:19:13,150 EVERY FRIGGIN' SECOND-- 495 00:19:13,150 --> 00:19:15,152 I SHOULD BE HOME. 496 00:19:15,152 --> 00:19:16,153 NO. I KNOW, I KNOW. 497 00:19:16,153 --> 00:19:17,655 I SHOULD BE HOME WORKING ON MY STORY 498 00:19:17,655 --> 00:19:20,124 FOR MY WRITING CLASS, SO... 499 00:19:20,124 --> 00:19:21,659 HERE YOU GO. 500 00:19:21,659 --> 00:19:22,660 UH-HUH. 501 00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:25,663 ARE YOU ONE OF THEM DALEMAN KIDS? 502 00:19:25,663 --> 00:19:27,164 NO, NO. I'M A TOWNIE. 503 00:19:27,665 --> 00:19:30,167 YEAH, I WORK AT THE REFINERY, FACTORY, MILL. 504 00:19:30,167 --> 00:19:32,169 WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR SHIRT? 505 00:19:34,672 --> 00:19:36,140 WHAT? 506 00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:37,174 LET'S SEE AN I.D. 507 00:19:39,677 --> 00:19:40,678 THERE YOU GO. 508 00:19:42,179 --> 00:19:43,681 IT'S A BULLSHIT I.D. 509 00:19:43,681 --> 00:19:45,683 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE RIGHT. 510 00:19:46,183 --> 00:19:49,186 THIS IS NOT MY REAL I.D. THIS IS MY REAL ONE. 511 00:19:50,688 --> 00:19:53,691 "DR. MOHAMMED RASHID"? 512 00:19:54,158 --> 00:19:56,694 HOW ABOUT THIS ONE? THIS ONE? 513 00:19:56,860 --> 00:19:57,695 NAH. NO, NO. 514 00:19:57,695 --> 00:19:58,662 THIS ONE? THIS ONE? 515 00:19:58,662 --> 00:20:00,698 JUST TAKE YOUR BEER. TAKE YOUR BEER. 516 00:20:01,031 --> 00:20:02,199 IT'S FOR THE GUYS AT THE MILL. 517 00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:03,701 YEAH. 518 00:20:03,701 --> 00:20:05,703 SO, WHAT'S YOUR STORY ABOUT? 519 00:20:05,703 --> 00:20:07,705 IT'S ABOUT THIS GIRL, AND SHE'S FROM NEW YORK, 520 00:20:08,205 --> 00:20:09,206 KIND OF LIKE ME, 521 00:20:09,206 --> 00:20:12,209 AND SHE HAS A CRUSH ON THIS GUY WHO GOES TO HER SCHOOL. 522 00:20:12,509 --> 00:20:15,713 HE'S KIND OF BUMBLING, KIND OF SHY, BUT, UM... 523 00:20:15,713 --> 00:20:19,216 SHE CAN TELL THERE'S A LOT MORE GOING ON... 524 00:20:19,683 --> 00:20:22,720 UP HERE. HA HA. HA. 525 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,221 HE'S FROM INDIANA. 526 00:20:24,221 --> 00:20:26,223 REALLY? I'M FROM INDIANA. 527 00:20:26,390 --> 00:20:27,725 OK. 528 00:20:27,725 --> 00:20:30,728 UH, ALL RIGHT, FORGET IT. LET ME START OVER. 529 00:20:30,728 --> 00:20:31,729 [KRISTIN CLEARS THROAT] 530 00:20:32,229 --> 00:20:33,731 SHUT UP. 531 00:20:33,731 --> 00:20:37,234 THERE'S A GIRL WHO LIKES A GUY. 532 00:20:37,234 --> 00:20:40,738 DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT? 533 00:20:54,251 --> 00:20:55,252 Josh: HOW DO YOU DO IT? 534 00:20:55,252 --> 00:20:56,253 Cooper: WHAT? 535 00:20:56,754 --> 00:20:58,255 YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TO A SINGLE CLASS SINCE YOU GOT HERE. 536 00:20:58,756 --> 00:20:59,757 COME ON, JOSH, WHO CARES? 537 00:20:59,757 --> 00:21:02,760 I GET IT. 538 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,762 YOU'RE A MILLIONAIRE. 539 00:21:05,262 --> 00:21:06,764 YOU PROBABLY GOT A FAMILY BUSINESS 540 00:21:07,264 --> 00:21:09,266 TO GO INTO. 541 00:21:09,266 --> 00:21:11,769 YOU KNOW WHAT MY DAD DOES FOR A LIVING? 542 00:21:11,769 --> 00:21:13,270 HE CLEANS TOILETS. 543 00:21:13,437 --> 00:21:15,272 COME ON. 544 00:21:15,272 --> 00:21:18,776 AH, HE OWNS THIS MAJOR TOILET-CLEANING COMPANY. 545 00:21:18,776 --> 00:21:20,778 IT'S BIG. IT'S HUGE, ACTUALLY. 546 00:21:21,278 --> 00:21:25,282 AND HE IS AN INCREDIBLE... ASSHOLE. 547 00:21:26,784 --> 00:21:28,285 I LIKE TO CALL HIM 548 00:21:28,786 --> 00:21:31,789 FLUSHLES, THE TOILET-CLEANING CLOWN. 549 00:21:33,290 --> 00:21:34,758 HE LOVES THAT. 550 00:21:34,758 --> 00:21:37,294 YOU THINK I'M GONNA SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE 551 00:21:37,795 --> 00:21:38,796 CLEANING TOILETS? 552 00:21:38,796 --> 00:21:40,297 SO, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 553 00:21:40,631 --> 00:21:41,799 I DON'T KNOW, YOU KNOW? 554 00:21:41,799 --> 00:21:44,301 EVERYONE'S SO OBSESSED WITH THE FUTURE. WHO CARES? 555 00:21:44,301 --> 00:21:45,803 WE SHOULD BE THINKING ABOUT NOW, 556 00:21:46,303 --> 00:21:47,805 AND RIGHT NOW WE SHOULD BE HAVING FUN. 557 00:21:47,805 --> 00:21:49,807 WELL, FUN IS A DEAD END, COOPER. 558 00:21:49,807 --> 00:21:51,809 I MEAN, THE GUYS WHO HAD FUN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL 559 00:21:51,809 --> 00:21:53,310 ARE WORKING IN BOWLING ALLEYS 560 00:21:53,310 --> 00:21:55,312 AND DRINKING PAINT THINNER ON THE WEEKENDS. 561 00:21:57,314 --> 00:21:58,816 I GOT TO STAY ON TRACK. 562 00:21:59,316 --> 00:22:00,701 OK, JOSH, BUT YOU'RE MISSING OUT, 563 00:22:01,318 --> 00:22:03,821 BECAUSE COLLEGE IS OUR LAST CHANCE TO GO CRAZY. 564 00:22:03,821 --> 00:22:05,823 [VOMITING] 565 00:22:06,323 --> 00:22:07,324 [COUGHING] 566 00:22:07,791 --> 00:22:08,325 Cooper: YES! 567 00:22:08,826 --> 00:22:10,327 SHE SHOOTS! SHE SCORES! 568 00:22:10,327 --> 00:22:12,796 DOES ANYONE HAVE A BREATH MINT? 569 00:22:12,796 --> 00:22:13,831 Rachel: HEY. 570 00:22:13,831 --> 00:22:14,832 Kristin: HEY, GUYS. 571 00:22:14,832 --> 00:22:17,334 SO, UM, I'M GONNA WALK BACK. 572 00:22:17,334 --> 00:22:20,337 UM, DO YOU WANNA WALK WITH ME? 573 00:22:20,337 --> 00:22:21,338 YEAH. YEAH? 574 00:22:21,338 --> 00:22:22,339 OF COURSE. 575 00:22:22,339 --> 00:22:23,340 GREAT. 576 00:22:24,341 --> 00:22:25,342 BYE. 577 00:22:38,355 --> 00:22:39,857 THAT WAS FUN. 578 00:22:39,857 --> 00:22:43,360 I'M GLAD YOU CAME. YOU KNOW...YOU KNOW. 579 00:22:43,861 --> 00:22:47,364 ?? I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS THAT MAKES ME LOVE YOU SO ?? 580 00:22:47,865 --> 00:22:49,867 WELL...GOOD NIGHT. 581 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,869 ?? I ONLY KNOW I NEVER WANNA LET YOU GO ?? 582 00:22:51,869 --> 00:22:52,870 IT'S THIS WAY. 583 00:22:53,003 --> 00:22:54,872 ?? 'CAUSE YOU STARTED SOMETHING ?? 584 00:22:55,372 --> 00:22:57,374 ?? OH, CAN'T YOU SEE ?? 585 00:22:57,875 --> 00:23:00,377 ?? THAT EVER SINCE WE MET YOU'VE HAD A HOLD ON ME ?? 586 00:23:00,377 --> 00:23:02,379 IT'S THIS WAY. 587 00:23:02,379 --> 00:23:05,883 ?? IT HAPPENS TO BE TRUE ?? 588 00:23:05,883 --> 00:23:07,384 THIS IS A REALLY NICE ROOM. 589 00:23:07,551 --> 00:23:08,385 ?? I ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU ?? 590 00:23:08,385 --> 00:23:09,887 I PROBABLY SHOULD, UH-- 591 00:23:09,887 --> 00:23:10,888 JOSH. 592 00:23:13,891 --> 00:23:17,394 ?? NO MATTER, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO ?? 593 00:23:17,895 --> 00:23:18,896 Rachel: IT'S THIS WAY. 594 00:23:18,896 --> 00:23:22,900 ?? I ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU ?? 595 00:23:25,402 --> 00:23:26,904 OH, GOOD MORNING. 596 00:23:26,904 --> 00:23:28,906 HI, JOSH. 597 00:23:29,039 --> 00:23:30,908 2, 3... 598 00:23:31,041 --> 00:23:32,910 4, 5... 599 00:23:32,910 --> 00:23:35,412 YOUNG MAN. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 600 00:23:35,412 --> 00:23:37,915 DO YOU KNOW I WAS UP ALL NIGHT WORRIED SICK? 601 00:23:38,415 --> 00:23:39,416 DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? 602 00:23:39,416 --> 00:23:42,419 I LOVE COLLEGE. 603 00:23:42,419 --> 00:23:44,421 I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. 604 00:23:44,421 --> 00:23:45,923 THE PEOPLE... 605 00:23:46,423 --> 00:23:47,925 THE FREEDOM... 606 00:23:48,425 --> 00:23:49,927 THIS ROOM... 607 00:23:50,427 --> 00:23:51,428 THIS CHAIR. 608 00:23:51,929 --> 00:23:55,432 LOOK AT THIS CHAIR. 609 00:23:55,599 --> 00:23:57,434 YOU HAD SEX LAST NIGHT, DIDN'T YOU? 610 00:23:58,435 --> 00:23:59,937 THAT'S A NICE SHIRT. 611 00:23:59,937 --> 00:24:01,939 YEAH. 612 00:24:01,939 --> 00:24:03,440 IT WAS SO EASY, COOPER. 613 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:05,943 I DIDN'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING... 614 00:24:05,943 --> 00:24:07,444 TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. 615 00:24:07,444 --> 00:24:10,447 IT WAS JUST LIKE... TIME FOR SEX. 616 00:24:10,948 --> 00:24:12,449 WE'RE GONNA HAVE SEX NOW. 617 00:24:12,449 --> 00:24:15,452 PREPARE FOR SEX. 618 00:24:15,452 --> 00:24:17,454 AND THEN WE SPENT ALL NIGHT TALKING. 619 00:24:17,454 --> 00:24:20,457 JESUS. YOU EVEN TALKED, TOO? 620 00:24:21,959 --> 00:24:25,462 SHE SAYS I HAVE SOULFUL EYES. 621 00:24:25,462 --> 00:24:28,465 OH, YEAH, YOU REALLY DO. 622 00:24:28,598 --> 00:24:29,967 WHAT WAS I THINKING? 623 00:24:31,468 --> 00:24:33,971 SPENDING ALL MY TIME IN THE LIBRARY. 624 00:24:33,971 --> 00:24:35,973 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] 625 00:24:42,980 --> 00:24:44,982 [ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES] 626 00:25:20,517 --> 00:25:22,519 ?? I'M ONLY SLEEPING ?? 627 00:25:25,522 --> 00:25:28,025 ?? I'M ONLY SLEEPING ?? 628 00:25:29,526 --> 00:25:31,528 ?? DON'T WAKE ME, DON'T WAKE ME ?? 629 00:25:31,528 --> 00:25:34,031 ?? I'M ONLY SLEEPING ?? 630 00:25:35,532 --> 00:25:37,534 ?? DON'T CALL ME, DON'T WAKE ME ?? 631 00:25:37,534 --> 00:25:40,037 ?? I'M ONLY SLEEPING ?? 632 00:25:40,037 --> 00:25:41,038 PAPERS, JOSH. 633 00:25:41,538 --> 00:25:43,040 [PROFESSOR'S VOICE] WHERE ARE THE PAPERS? 634 00:25:43,540 --> 00:25:45,042 THE PAPERS, JOSH! 635 00:25:45,042 --> 00:25:46,043 HUH? 636 00:25:46,043 --> 00:25:48,045 PAPERS? THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 637 00:25:48,045 --> 00:25:49,046 PAPERS? 638 00:25:49,546 --> 00:25:52,049 PAPERS. THANK YOU. 639 00:25:52,049 --> 00:25:54,051 PAPERS? THANK YOU. 640 00:25:54,051 --> 00:25:55,052 PAPERS? 641 00:25:56,853 --> 00:25:58,522 THANK YOU. 642 00:26:00,023 --> 00:26:01,024 PAPERS, MISTER. 643 00:26:01,024 --> 00:26:02,059 WAIT JUST-- 644 00:26:02,059 --> 00:26:03,060 THANK YOU! 645 00:26:03,060 --> 00:26:04,061 OH. 646 00:26:05,862 --> 00:26:07,064 HEY, HEY. 647 00:26:07,064 --> 00:26:09,066 THERE YOU ARE. 648 00:26:09,066 --> 00:26:11,068 WOW. WHY THE FUNKY FACE? 649 00:26:11,068 --> 00:26:14,571 WHY? BECAUSE I'M SURE I BOMBED MY MIDTERMS, THAT'S WHY. 650 00:26:14,571 --> 00:26:16,573 OH, WELL, AT LEAST YOU SHOWED UP FOR THEM. 651 00:26:16,573 --> 00:26:19,076 I BET YOU THEY GIVE YOU POINTS FOR THAT. 652 00:26:19,076 --> 00:26:21,078 YOU. YOU. 653 00:26:21,078 --> 00:26:22,079 WHAT? 654 00:26:22,079 --> 00:26:24,081 YOU NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM ME. 655 00:26:24,081 --> 00:26:25,582 YOU'VE BEEN DISTRACTING ME ALL SEMESTER, 656 00:26:25,582 --> 00:26:27,084 AND NOW I'M FUCKED. 657 00:26:27,384 --> 00:26:29,086 JOSH, IS THIS ABOUT BAD GRADES? 658 00:26:29,586 --> 00:26:32,589 BAD GRADES ARE MEANINGLESS. 659 00:26:33,090 --> 00:26:36,093 YOU KNOW, THEY'RE LIKE PARKING TICKETS. 660 00:26:36,093 --> 00:26:38,095 I MEAN, THEY MEAN NOTHING. 661 00:26:38,228 --> 00:26:40,597 JUST LAUGH, BECAUSE THEY'RE SILLY. 662 00:26:41,098 --> 00:26:43,567 YOU KNOW, THEY'RE SILLY LITTLE NOTHINGS. 663 00:26:43,567 --> 00:26:45,602 I NEVER FAILED ANYTHING IN MY LIFE. 664 00:26:45,602 --> 00:26:47,104 STOP RIGHT THERE. 665 00:26:47,104 --> 00:26:50,607 I THINK YOU'RE TURNING INTO A REALLY GREAT GUY. 666 00:26:51,108 --> 00:26:53,610 AND SO WHAT IF YOUR ASTROLOGY PROFESSOR 667 00:26:53,610 --> 00:26:55,112 DOESN'T LIKE YOU? BIG SHIT. 668 00:26:55,112 --> 00:26:57,614 I DON'T TAKE ASTROLOGY. 669 00:26:57,948 --> 00:27:00,117 BIOLOGY, WHATEVER. 670 00:27:01,118 --> 00:27:03,120 STAY AWAY FROM ME, OK? 671 00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:05,122 I GOT WORK TO DO. 672 00:27:16,633 --> 00:27:18,101 [CLEARS THROAT] 673 00:27:18,101 --> 00:27:20,137 [WHISTLES] 674 00:27:20,137 --> 00:27:21,104 [WHISTLES] 675 00:27:25,642 --> 00:27:27,144 [TECHNO MUSIC BLARING] 676 00:27:29,146 --> 00:27:30,113 HEY! 677 00:27:32,149 --> 00:27:33,150 [MUSIC STOPS PLAYING] 678 00:27:42,659 --> 00:27:45,162 I CAN HEAR MY HEARTBEAT THROUGH MY PENIS. 679 00:27:45,462 --> 00:27:47,164 GET THAT OUT OF YOUR PANTS! 680 00:27:49,166 --> 00:27:51,168 SO, UH, JOSH, UH, 681 00:27:51,168 --> 00:27:53,670 WHAT DO YOU SAY WE HEAD DOWN TO THE OKTOBERFEST, HUH? 682 00:27:54,171 --> 00:27:55,672 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 683 00:27:55,805 --> 00:27:58,175 WELL, AT LEAST SOMEBODY WANTS TO PARTY. 684 00:28:00,177 --> 00:28:01,178 POP. 685 00:28:01,178 --> 00:28:02,679 COME HERE. 686 00:28:02,846 --> 00:28:04,681 OH, I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU. 687 00:28:04,681 --> 00:28:06,183 WHAT? AM I LEAVING? 688 00:28:06,433 --> 00:28:08,185 EXCUSE US! 689 00:28:08,185 --> 00:28:10,187 DAD. 690 00:28:10,187 --> 00:28:11,188 [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] 691 00:28:11,188 --> 00:28:12,189 IT'S ME... 692 00:28:12,189 --> 00:28:13,190 HI. 693 00:28:13,190 --> 00:28:16,693 FLUSHLES, THE TOILET- CLEANING CLOWN! HA HA! 694 00:28:16,693 --> 00:28:18,695 YOU GETTING AN EDUCATION, HUH, COOP? 695 00:28:18,695 --> 00:28:19,696 YOU GETTING MY MONEY'S WORTH? 696 00:28:20,197 --> 00:28:21,698 'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT THE DEAN TELLS ME? 697 00:28:21,698 --> 00:28:23,700 HE TELLS ME THAT YOU HAVEN'T BEEN IN ONE CLASS 698 00:28:23,700 --> 00:28:24,701 IN 2 MONTHS! 699 00:28:24,834 --> 00:28:27,204 I DON'T THINK THIS COUNTS AS BONDING, DAD. 700 00:28:27,704 --> 00:28:28,705 IT'S OVER, COOPER. 701 00:28:28,705 --> 00:28:30,707 I KEEP BUYING YOUR WAY INTO THESE SCHOOLS, 702 00:28:30,707 --> 00:28:31,708 AND YOU KEEP SCREWING UP. 703 00:28:31,708 --> 00:28:33,210 IF YOU DON'T PASS ALL OF YOUR CLASSES, 704 00:28:33,710 --> 00:28:34,711 YOU'RE COMING HOME WITH ME, 705 00:28:34,711 --> 00:28:36,213 AND YOU'RE GONNA WORK WITH ME, 706 00:28:36,213 --> 00:28:37,714 BUT NOT IN THE OFFICE. 707 00:28:38,215 --> 00:28:39,716 IN THE FIELD. 708 00:28:39,716 --> 00:28:43,720 I'M GONNA GIVE YOU ALL THE REALLY DISGUSTING JOBS. 709 00:28:51,228 --> 00:28:52,229 HMM. 710 00:28:54,948 --> 00:28:57,234 COOPER. COME ON, TALK TO ME. 711 00:28:57,234 --> 00:28:59,236 WHAT, JOSH? 712 00:28:59,736 --> 00:29:02,239 HE'S SERIOUS THIS TIME, ALL RIGHT? YOU HEARD HIM. 713 00:29:02,739 --> 00:29:03,740 HE'S GONNA PULL ME OUT OF SCHOOL. 714 00:29:03,740 --> 00:29:05,242 AND NOW I'VE GOT TO PASS ALL MY CLASSES. 715 00:29:05,742 --> 00:29:07,244 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHICH ONES I'M TAKING. 716 00:29:07,744 --> 00:29:08,745 THIS IS GONNA DRIVE ME TO DRINK. 717 00:29:08,745 --> 00:29:09,746 NO, COOPER. 718 00:29:09,746 --> 00:29:12,249 NO MORE DRINKS, NO MORE BONG HITS. 719 00:29:12,749 --> 00:29:14,251 THERE'S ONLY ONE THING THAT CAN SAVE YOU NOW. 720 00:29:14,584 --> 00:29:15,752 WHAT, VALIUM? 721 00:29:15,752 --> 00:29:18,755 NO. STUDYING. 722 00:29:18,755 --> 00:29:19,756 YOU NEED TO STUDY. 723 00:29:20,257 --> 00:29:22,259 WHAT? YOU'RE INSANE. 724 00:29:22,259 --> 00:29:23,760 WHAT? IT'LL BE FUN. 725 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:25,262 WE'LL READ OUR BOOKS TOGETHER. 726 00:29:25,262 --> 00:29:27,264 WE'LL MAKE SURE THAT WE GO TO OUR CLASSES. 727 00:29:27,264 --> 00:29:29,766 WE'LL QUIZ EACH OTHER. WE'LL BE STUDY BUDDIES. 728 00:29:29,766 --> 00:29:32,269 NO. I DON'T DO THAT. THAT'S NOT ME. 729 00:29:32,269 --> 00:29:34,771 WELL, I THINK IT'S TIME FOR A CHANGE. 730 00:29:35,272 --> 00:29:37,774 HEY, YOU GUYS ROOMMATES? 731 00:29:37,774 --> 00:29:39,276 YEAH. YEAH. 732 00:29:39,276 --> 00:29:41,778 YOU OUGHT TO TALK TO HENRY OVER THERE. 733 00:29:41,778 --> 00:29:43,280 HE WENT TO DALEMAN. 734 00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,282 Cooper: THAT GUY WENT TO DALEMAN? 735 00:29:45,282 --> 00:29:48,785 YEAH. HE'S GOT A REAL GOOD STORY FOR YOU. 736 00:29:49,085 --> 00:29:52,789 Henry: YOU SEE, I HAD A ROOMMATE. 737 00:29:52,789 --> 00:29:54,791 POOR PRICK. KILLED HIMSELF. 738 00:29:54,791 --> 00:29:55,792 YEAH, OH, YEAH. 739 00:29:56,293 --> 00:29:57,794 I FOUND THE BODY. 740 00:29:57,794 --> 00:30:01,298 HE SLIT HIS WRISTS. HE SWALLOWED SOME PILLS. 741 00:30:01,298 --> 00:30:02,799 HE PUT A BAG OVER HIS HEAD, 742 00:30:02,799 --> 00:30:04,801 AND HE JUMPED FROM THE BRIDGE. 743 00:30:05,302 --> 00:30:06,803 IT WAS A MESS. 744 00:30:07,103 --> 00:30:08,305 THAT'S TERRIBLE. 745 00:30:08,305 --> 00:30:11,808 Drunk: SOME PEOPLE EAT BUGS. UGH! 746 00:30:11,808 --> 00:30:13,310 RIGHT. 747 00:30:13,310 --> 00:30:15,812 SO WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH GETTING STRAIGHT A's? 748 00:30:15,979 --> 00:30:17,814 EVERYTHING. YOU SEE, 749 00:30:18,315 --> 00:30:22,819 DALEMAN HAS ALWAYS HAD A PROBLEM WITH SUICIDE. 750 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:24,821 Barman: YOU SEE... 751 00:30:24,821 --> 00:30:27,824 IT SEEMS YOU COLLEGE KIDS, 752 00:30:28,325 --> 00:30:30,327 YOU HAVE A REAL KNACK FOR GOING WACKO. 753 00:30:30,327 --> 00:30:35,832 THEY HAVE A RULE THAT IF YOUR ROOMMATE KILLS HIMSELF, 754 00:30:35,832 --> 00:30:38,835 YOU GET STRAIGHT A's. YEAH, THEY DO. 755 00:30:39,836 --> 00:30:42,839 IT'S LIKE A CONSOLATION PRIZE. 756 00:30:43,139 --> 00:30:44,841 YEAH, IT RELIEVES TENSION OR SOMETHING. 757 00:30:45,342 --> 00:30:49,846 MY INTESTINES ARE OVER 2 MILES LONG. 758 00:30:50,013 --> 00:30:50,847 IS THAT TRUE? 759 00:30:50,847 --> 00:30:51,848 Drunk: YEAH, IT'S TRUE. 760 00:30:51,848 --> 00:30:53,350 NO, NO, NO. THE RULES. 761 00:30:53,350 --> 00:30:54,351 MMM. YES. 762 00:30:54,351 --> 00:30:55,352 YES. 763 00:30:55,518 --> 00:30:57,854 OH, OK, WELL, YEAH, THAT MAKES SENSE. 764 00:30:57,854 --> 00:31:00,357 YOU CAN'T BE EXPECTED TO STUDY 765 00:31:00,357 --> 00:31:03,360 IF YOU'RE GRIEVING FOR YOUR DEAD ROOMMATE. 766 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,863 I KNOW I COULDN'T STUDY IF YOU DIED. 767 00:31:06,863 --> 00:31:09,366 YOU CAN'T STUDY NOW. 768 00:31:09,366 --> 00:31:11,368 SO THESE RULES, THEY GOT THEM WRITTEN DOWN SOMEWHERE? 769 00:31:11,368 --> 00:31:12,836 PROBABLY THE LIBRARY. 770 00:31:12,836 --> 00:31:14,371 THE "LIBARRY," JOSH. 771 00:31:14,371 --> 00:31:15,872 YOU KNOW WHERE THAT IS, DON'T YOU? 772 00:31:16,373 --> 00:31:17,874 TAKE ME TO THE "LIBARRY." 773 00:31:19,876 --> 00:31:21,878 THIS MUST BE A GREAT COLLEGE 774 00:31:21,878 --> 00:31:23,380 TO HAVE ALL THESE BOOKS. 775 00:31:23,380 --> 00:31:24,881 SHH. 776 00:31:24,881 --> 00:31:26,383 [WHISPERING] How are we gonna find that charter? 777 00:31:26,883 --> 00:31:29,386 HOW ARE WE GONNA FIND OUR WAY OUT OF HERE? 778 00:31:29,386 --> 00:31:30,887 WILL YOU GROW UP? 779 00:31:30,887 --> 00:31:32,889 [SIGHS] 780 00:31:32,889 --> 00:31:33,890 HERE IT IS. 781 00:31:35,892 --> 00:31:36,893 OH, YOU... 782 00:31:36,893 --> 00:31:37,894 YOU FOUND IT. 783 00:31:38,895 --> 00:31:41,898 WOW. THE COLLEGE CHARTER. 784 00:31:41,898 --> 00:31:43,900 I'M GONNA GO UPSTAIRS AND STUDY, SO HAVE FUN. 785 00:31:43,900 --> 00:31:46,903 WAIT A MINUTE. AREN'T YOU EVEN CURIOUS? 786 00:31:46,903 --> 00:31:48,905 NO. IT'S TOTALLY RIDICULOUS. 787 00:31:48,905 --> 00:31:51,408 DON'T LEAVE ME DOWN HERE ALONE. 788 00:31:51,408 --> 00:31:52,909 LIBRARIES GIVE ME THE CREEPS. 789 00:31:53,910 --> 00:31:56,913 Cooper: "EACH STUDENT WHO..." 790 00:31:56,913 --> 00:31:57,914 HMM... 791 00:31:58,415 --> 00:31:59,916 WHAT THE... 792 00:31:59,916 --> 00:32:01,918 HOLY SHIT! 793 00:32:01,918 --> 00:32:04,921 HOLY SHIT! J--LISTEN. 794 00:32:04,921 --> 00:32:06,923 UH, "A STUDENT FOUND TO HAVE DIED 795 00:32:06,923 --> 00:32:09,426 "AS A RESULT OF HIS OWN WILLFUL ACT WILL... 796 00:32:09,426 --> 00:32:11,928 "ANY OTHER STUDENT RESIDING IN THE SAME HOUSING UNIT 797 00:32:12,429 --> 00:32:14,431 "OF SAID STUDENTS SHALL BE REWARDED GRADES 798 00:32:14,431 --> 00:32:15,932 "OF THE HIGHEST ORDER 799 00:32:16,099 --> 00:32:17,934 REGARDLESS OF ACADEMIC STANDING." 800 00:32:18,067 --> 00:32:19,436 WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN? IS THIS IT? 801 00:32:19,436 --> 00:32:20,904 THAT'S IT. 802 00:32:20,904 --> 00:32:22,939 OH, HO HO. 803 00:32:22,939 --> 00:32:24,441 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 804 00:32:24,441 --> 00:32:26,943 WELL, WE'VE GOT TO COPY THIS. 805 00:32:26,943 --> 00:32:27,944 FOR PROOF. 806 00:32:27,944 --> 00:32:29,446 Cooper: JOSH! OH, HEY, JOSH! 807 00:32:29,446 --> 00:32:30,447 Person: SHH! 808 00:32:30,447 --> 00:32:31,448 Boy: SHUT UP! 809 00:32:31,448 --> 00:32:32,949 JOSH, WHERE YOU GOING? 810 00:32:32,949 --> 00:32:34,951 LOOK, JOSH, I FINISHED. I FINISHED COPYING. 811 00:32:34,951 --> 00:32:36,453 IT WASN'T REALLY THAT HARD. 812 00:32:36,586 --> 00:32:37,454 Person: SHH! 813 00:32:37,454 --> 00:32:38,955 WOW. LOOK AT ALL THESE PEOPLE. 814 00:32:39,255 --> 00:32:40,457 SHH! 815 00:32:40,457 --> 00:32:41,458 [WHISPERING] Right. 816 00:32:42,959 --> 00:32:43,960 [SIGHS] 817 00:32:50,967 --> 00:32:52,352 I'M NOT GONNA KILL MYSELF, 818 00:32:52,969 --> 00:32:53,970 IN CASE THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE WONDERING. 819 00:32:54,471 --> 00:32:56,473 COME ON. BE A SPORT. 820 00:32:56,473 --> 00:32:57,474 I MEAN, YOU'RE FUCKED ANYWAY. 821 00:32:57,974 --> 00:32:58,975 AT LEAST THIS WAY, 822 00:32:58,975 --> 00:33:00,977 ONE OF US COMES OUT ON TOP. 823 00:33:01,144 --> 00:33:02,979 THEN YOU KILL YOURSELF. 824 00:33:02,979 --> 00:33:04,481 NO, I CAN'T SEE THAT WORKING. 825 00:33:04,481 --> 00:33:05,482 LOOK, JUST FORGET IT. 826 00:33:05,482 --> 00:33:07,484 JOSH, PLEASE. ALL I'M ASKING YOU TO DO-- 827 00:33:07,984 --> 00:33:08,985 I'M DONE HELPING YOU. 828 00:33:08,985 --> 00:33:10,487 People: SHH! QUIET! 829 00:33:10,487 --> 00:33:11,988 JOSH, WAIT. 830 00:33:11,988 --> 00:33:12,989 WHAT ABOUT KYLE? 831 00:33:12,989 --> 00:33:13,990 WHO'S KYLE? 832 00:33:13,990 --> 00:33:15,492 KYLE, OUR OTHER ROOMMATE. 833 00:33:15,992 --> 00:33:17,494 THE ONE FROM THE CATHOLIC SCHOOL. 834 00:33:17,494 --> 00:33:19,996 HE COULD KILL HIMSELF. IT'S PERFECT. 835 00:33:19,996 --> 00:33:21,998 ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MURDER, COOPER? 836 00:33:21,998 --> 00:33:24,000 'CAUSE IF YOU ARE, THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER. 837 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,502 NO, I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT MURDER. 838 00:33:26,002 --> 00:33:27,003 WELL, I DON'T WANT TO BE PART 839 00:33:27,003 --> 00:33:28,505 OF YOUR STUPID PLAN, SO JUST DROP IT. 840 00:33:29,005 --> 00:33:29,506 IT'S SIMPLE. 841 00:33:30,006 --> 00:33:32,008 NO, I MEAN IT. JUST SHUT THE SHIT UP. 842 00:33:32,008 --> 00:33:33,009 YEAH, BUT ALL YOU-- 843 00:33:33,510 --> 00:33:35,011 AW. HO HO HO. 844 00:33:35,011 --> 00:33:38,515 SUICIDAL IMPULSES COME FROM FEELING POWERLESS 845 00:33:38,515 --> 00:33:40,517 OVER ONE'S PROBLEMS. 846 00:33:40,517 --> 00:33:43,019 SO WHEN SOMEONE CALLS DALEMAN'S HOTLINE, 847 00:33:43,319 --> 00:33:47,524 WE MAKE SURE THAT THE CALLER FEELS IN CONTROL OF THE-- 848 00:33:47,524 --> 00:33:50,527 YOUNG MAN, WOULD YOU PLEASE TAKE A SEAT? 849 00:33:52,529 --> 00:33:54,531 NOW, THE CALLER SHOULD BE TOLD 850 00:33:54,864 --> 00:33:57,534 THAT SUICIDE IS NEVER THE ANSWER. 851 00:33:57,534 --> 00:33:59,536 SAY THERE'S SOMEONE REALLY DEPRESSED-- 852 00:33:59,536 --> 00:34:02,038 COULD YOU RAISE YOUR HAND? 853 00:34:02,171 --> 00:34:05,041 WELL, YEAH. OK. 854 00:34:05,041 --> 00:34:06,009 SAY THERE'S SOMEONE REALLY DEPRESSED, 855 00:34:06,543 --> 00:34:08,545 BUT HE MIGHT NOT ACTUALLY KILL HIMSELF. 856 00:34:08,678 --> 00:34:11,548 WHY DON'T I ANSWER QUESTIONS AFTER THE SESSION? 857 00:34:12,015 --> 00:34:13,550 WHAT WOULD PUSH HIM OVER THE EDGE? 858 00:34:13,550 --> 00:34:15,552 SEND HIM RUNNING FOR THE RAZORS? 859 00:34:15,552 --> 00:34:16,553 ANYTHING COME TO MIND? 860 00:34:16,886 --> 00:34:18,555 WHAT? 861 00:34:19,738 --> 00:34:21,239 OH, HI, JOSH. COME ON IN. 862 00:34:21,490 --> 00:34:23,742 I GOT A NOTE. YOU WANTED TO SEE ME? 863 00:34:23,909 --> 00:34:25,243 I JUST WANTED TO CHECK UP ON YOU, 864 00:34:25,243 --> 00:34:27,746 MAKE SURE YOUR HEAD'S STILL ABOVE WATER. 865 00:34:27,746 --> 00:34:30,248 WELL, I DON'T KNOW HOW WELL I DID ON MY MIDTERMS. 866 00:34:30,248 --> 00:34:32,751 I WAS DISTRACTED, 867 00:34:32,918 --> 00:34:35,253 BUT I'M NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING BUT STUDY FROM HERE ON OUT. 868 00:34:35,253 --> 00:34:37,255 JUST REMEMBER YOU HAVE TO KEEP A "B" PLUS AVERAGE 869 00:34:37,756 --> 00:34:38,757 TO KEEP YOUR SCHOLARSHIP. 870 00:34:40,258 --> 00:34:41,259 WHAT? 871 00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:43,261 YOU MUST KEEP A "B" PLUS AVERAGE, 872 00:34:43,478 --> 00:34:44,763 OR THEY'LL REVOKE YOUR SCHOLARSHIP. 873 00:34:45,180 --> 00:34:48,266 NO, NOT MY SCHOLARSHIP. I MEAN, THEY CAN'T DO THAT. 874 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:50,769 DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I NEED THAT SCHOLARSHIP. 875 00:34:50,769 --> 00:34:53,772 JOSH, THERE'S NO REASON TO GET SO WORKED UP. 876 00:34:54,272 --> 00:34:56,775 I MEAN, IT'S NOT AS IF YOU FAILED YOUR MIDTERMS. 877 00:34:56,992 --> 00:34:58,276 HI, HONEY. 878 00:35:01,279 --> 00:35:02,280 WHAT? 879 00:35:07,786 --> 00:35:10,288 WELL, THANK YOU, SHIRLEY. YOU'VE BEEN VERY HELPFUL. 880 00:35:10,672 --> 00:35:11,790 YES, I'LL LET YOU KNOW 881 00:35:11,790 --> 00:35:13,792 IF THE DOCTOR NEEDS THOSE FILES. 882 00:35:13,792 --> 00:35:15,293 ALL RIGHT. TELL ME, WHAT-- 883 00:35:15,794 --> 00:35:17,295 HEY! 884 00:35:17,512 --> 00:35:19,297 THAT WAS RUDE. 885 00:35:19,381 --> 00:35:22,801 WOW, JOSH. YOU DON'T LOOK SO GOOD. 886 00:35:22,801 --> 00:35:24,803 WHY SHOULD I LOOK GOOD? 887 00:35:24,803 --> 00:35:27,305 THESE ARE MY MIDTERM SCORES. 888 00:35:27,305 --> 00:35:28,807 AND THESE ARE THE SCORES 889 00:35:28,807 --> 00:35:30,809 THAT I WOULD NEED TO GET ON MY FINALS 890 00:35:30,809 --> 00:35:32,310 IN ORDER TO KEEP MY SCHOLARSHIP. 891 00:35:32,727 --> 00:35:35,814 AND THERE'S NO MATHEMATICAL WAY THAT I CAN GET THESE SCORES. 892 00:35:36,114 --> 00:35:39,317 I WOULD NEED 4 "A" PLUS PLUS PLUSES. 893 00:35:39,317 --> 00:35:40,318 I'M DOOMED! 894 00:35:40,652 --> 00:35:42,821 WHAT'S THIS DOING HERE? 895 00:35:42,821 --> 00:35:43,822 WELL, SEE, I-- 896 00:35:43,822 --> 00:35:46,825 COOPER, WHEN I GOT HERE, I WAS ON A TRACK. 897 00:35:46,825 --> 00:35:50,328 DO YOU KNOW WHAT A TRACK IS? CHALK. 898 00:35:50,829 --> 00:35:54,833 A TRACK IS A BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL THING. 899 00:35:54,833 --> 00:35:56,835 IT'S A GOAL. IT'S A TRACK. 900 00:35:56,835 --> 00:36:00,839 IT'S ALWAYS MOVING FORWARD ON A TRACK. 901 00:36:00,839 --> 00:36:04,342 WELL, I DON'T HAVE A TRACK. 902 00:36:04,593 --> 00:36:06,845 I HAVE NOTHING. I'M DEAD. 903 00:36:06,845 --> 00:36:09,347 YOU'RE LOOKIN' AT A DEAD MAN. 904 00:36:09,431 --> 00:36:12,350 WELL, THEN YOU'RE IN! 905 00:36:12,851 --> 00:36:14,352 I MEAN, THIS IS GREAT. 906 00:36:14,603 --> 00:36:15,854 GREAT? 907 00:36:15,987 --> 00:36:17,355 WELL, I'M JUST SAYING-- 908 00:36:17,355 --> 00:36:17,856 COOPER! 909 00:36:18,356 --> 00:36:19,357 WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! 910 00:36:19,357 --> 00:36:20,859 YOU TAKE THE CAKE! 911 00:36:20,859 --> 00:36:23,862 COOPER! DO YOU KNOW THAT COOPER? UHH! 912 00:36:24,329 --> 00:36:27,365 OHH! OHH. 913 00:36:27,582 --> 00:36:29,868 YOU'RE OK. YOU'RE OK, HUH? 914 00:36:29,868 --> 00:36:31,870 HUH? JUST SHAKE IT OFF. 915 00:36:32,370 --> 00:36:33,371 UHH. 916 00:36:33,538 --> 00:36:34,873 NOW, WE HAVE A WAY OUT, 917 00:36:34,873 --> 00:36:36,374 AND IT'S THE BEST LOOPHOLE EVER, 918 00:36:36,374 --> 00:36:38,376 AND IT'S GONNA SAVE BOTH OF OUR ASSES, 919 00:36:38,376 --> 00:36:39,878 SO JUST MELLOW. 920 00:36:40,262 --> 00:36:41,379 HERE, PUT THIS ON YOUR NOSE. 921 00:36:41,379 --> 00:36:42,380 AH, COOPER. 922 00:36:42,380 --> 00:36:45,884 NO. MY WHOLE VISION IS RIGHT HERE... 923 00:36:45,884 --> 00:36:46,885 ON THIS BLACKBOARD. 924 00:36:47,385 --> 00:36:48,887 IN WHAT LANGUAGE? 925 00:36:49,137 --> 00:36:51,890 WELL, MY PENMANSHIP'S KIND OF GONE TO SHIT, 926 00:36:51,890 --> 00:36:54,392 BUT BASICALLY, HERE IS MR. Z. 927 00:36:54,476 --> 00:36:55,393 WHO'S MR. Z? 928 00:36:55,860 --> 00:36:59,397 MR. Z IS THE MOST SUICIDAL GUY ON CAMPUS. 929 00:36:59,397 --> 00:37:01,399 MR. Z IS THE GUY WHO'S GONNA KILL HIMSELF 930 00:37:01,399 --> 00:37:02,901 WHETHER HE LIVES WITH US OR NOT, 931 00:37:02,901 --> 00:37:04,402 SO I FIGURE, HE MIGHT AS WELL LIVE WITH US 932 00:37:04,402 --> 00:37:05,904 SO HIS DEATH WON'T BE IN VAIN. 933 00:37:05,987 --> 00:37:07,405 NOW, WE FIND HIM AT THE MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC, 934 00:37:07,405 --> 00:37:09,407 HE MOVES IN, HE KILLS HIMSELF, 935 00:37:09,407 --> 00:37:11,910 AND HERE'S YOU KEEPING YOUR SCHOLARSHIP, 936 00:37:11,910 --> 00:37:14,412 AND HERE'S ME SAYING, "FLUSH OFF, FLUSHLES." 937 00:37:14,412 --> 00:37:15,880 HA HA HA HA. 938 00:37:15,964 --> 00:37:18,416 LOOK, I HAVE ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH WITHOUT YOU MIND-FUCKING ME. 939 00:37:18,416 --> 00:37:21,920 NO, JOSH. I AM NOT MIND-FUCKING YOU, OK? 940 00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:25,423 I AM SO DEAD SERIOUS. I AM, LIKE, IN THE ZONE. 941 00:37:25,590 --> 00:37:27,926 COME ON, JOSH! OH, JOSH. 942 00:37:28,059 --> 00:37:28,927 OH, JOSH. 943 00:37:30,428 --> 00:37:31,930 OK, THE BOTTOM LINE IS 944 00:37:32,430 --> 00:37:33,932 YOU WORK IN THE HOUSING OFFICE. 945 00:37:34,432 --> 00:37:34,933 I NEED YOU. 946 00:37:35,433 --> 00:37:36,434 I CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, 947 00:37:36,685 --> 00:37:37,435 SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL GIVE IT A GO. 948 00:37:37,936 --> 00:37:38,937 WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE? 949 00:37:38,937 --> 00:37:39,938 FORGET IT, COOPER. 950 00:37:39,938 --> 00:37:41,940 YOUR BRAIN IS PERMANENTLY FRIED. 951 00:37:41,940 --> 00:37:44,943 YOU NEED HELP. I WOULD NEVER IN A BAJILLION YEARS 952 00:37:44,943 --> 00:37:47,946 FOLLOW YOU ON SOME IDIOTIC WILD-GOOSE CHASE! NEVER! 953 00:37:48,246 --> 00:37:50,448 SAY NO MORE. I UNDERSTAND, OK? 954 00:37:50,448 --> 00:37:51,950 OH, BY THE WAY, 955 00:37:51,950 --> 00:37:53,952 THERE'S A MESSAGE FOR YOU ON THE MACHINE. 956 00:37:54,452 --> 00:37:55,453 I THINK IT'S YOUR MOM. 957 00:37:57,789 --> 00:37:59,457 [BEEP] 958 00:37:59,457 --> 00:38:00,959 HI, JOSHIE, IT'S MOM. 959 00:38:00,959 --> 00:38:02,961 YOU SOUNDED SO WORRIED WHEN I TALKED TO YOU. 960 00:38:02,961 --> 00:38:05,296 LISTEN, HONEY, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 961 00:38:05,296 --> 00:38:07,465 I MEAN, OF COURSE YOU'LL DO WELL IN COLLEGE. 962 00:38:07,465 --> 00:38:10,468 YOU ALWAYS SURPASS MY EXPECTATIONS. 963 00:38:10,468 --> 00:38:14,973 AND I EXPECT TO SEE STRAIGHT A's. OK? BYE. 964 00:38:14,973 --> 00:38:16,474 WHO IS MR. Z AGAIN? 965 00:38:16,691 --> 00:38:18,977 OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH. 966 00:38:19,477 --> 00:38:21,479 THERE'S ONE. THERE'S ANOTHER ONE. 967 00:38:21,613 --> 00:38:23,481 OH, YEAH. COME ON, BABY. 968 00:38:23,865 --> 00:38:24,983 OH, COME TO DADDY. 969 00:38:25,483 --> 00:38:27,452 OH, I GOTCHA. I GOTCHA. DADDY'S GOTCHA. 970 00:38:27,535 --> 00:38:30,488 JOSH, YOU'RE NOT SAYING ANYTHING. 971 00:38:30,989 --> 00:38:31,990 YAY. YIPPEE. 972 00:38:31,990 --> 00:38:33,491 COME ON, THIS IS GONNA BE EASY. 973 00:38:33,491 --> 00:38:34,993 ONCE WE FIND OUT WHO THESE GUYS ARE, 974 00:38:34,993 --> 00:38:36,494 WE'LL STEAL THEIR FILES, AND WE'LL FIGURE OUT 975 00:38:36,494 --> 00:38:38,496 WHICH ONE'S THE MOST SUICIDAL OF THEM ALL. 976 00:38:38,963 --> 00:38:42,500 OH, YEAH. THIS GUY LOOKS REALLY DEPRESSED. 977 00:38:42,500 --> 00:38:44,502 YEAH. THIS GUY LOOKS TROUBLED. 978 00:38:45,003 --> 00:38:47,005 COOPER? JOSH, IS THAT YOU? 979 00:38:47,138 --> 00:38:48,006 HOO! 980 00:38:50,892 --> 00:38:52,010 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? 981 00:38:52,260 --> 00:38:55,513 CAN WE HAVE SOME PRIVACY, PLEASE? 982 00:38:55,930 --> 00:38:57,515 YEAH, YOU GOT IT. 983 00:38:57,515 --> 00:38:58,516 YEAH. 984 00:38:58,933 --> 00:39:01,019 OH. 985 00:39:01,019 --> 00:39:02,520 WOW, THAT WAS CLOSE. 986 00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:05,523 COOPER, THEY PROBABLY THINK THAT WE'RE MAKING OUT BACK HERE. 987 00:39:05,523 --> 00:39:07,525 I KNOW. THEY'RE TOTALLY IN THE DARK. 988 00:39:18,536 --> 00:39:19,537 Josh: OOH! 989 00:39:19,537 --> 00:39:20,538 Cooper: JOSH! 990 00:39:21,039 --> 00:39:22,540 Josh: WHERE WE GOING? 991 00:39:32,550 --> 00:39:33,551 Josh: THIS IS INSANITY. 992 00:39:34,018 --> 00:39:35,053 WE'RE GONNA GET KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL 993 00:39:35,053 --> 00:39:36,554 BEFORE WE EVER FLUNK OUT. 994 00:39:36,554 --> 00:39:38,556 HOW WE GONNA FIGURE OUT WHO'S REALLY NUTSO 995 00:39:38,556 --> 00:39:40,058 AND WHO'S JUST HAVING A BAD WEEK? 996 00:39:40,058 --> 00:39:44,062 HERE, TAKE THIS ROPE, HOOK ME UP. 997 00:39:46,064 --> 00:39:48,066 NOW, REMEMBER, YOUR CODE NAME IS DINAH. 998 00:39:48,066 --> 00:39:49,067 WHAT'S YOURS? 999 00:39:49,067 --> 00:39:50,068 PANTHER. 1000 00:39:50,068 --> 00:39:52,570 WHY DO YOU GET TO BE PANTHER? 1001 00:39:54,072 --> 00:39:54,572 HUH? 1002 00:39:56,074 --> 00:39:57,075 JIMMY. 1003 00:40:00,078 --> 00:40:01,579 OHH. UHH! AAH! 1004 00:40:02,997 --> 00:40:04,082 OH, PLEASE. 1005 00:40:04,082 --> 00:40:06,084 UHH! UHH! 1006 00:40:06,084 --> 00:40:07,585 A LITTLE HELP HERE. 1007 00:40:07,585 --> 00:40:08,586 YEAH, SURE. 1008 00:40:12,090 --> 00:40:13,591 NOW, I'M GONNA WRAP THIS ROPE 1009 00:40:13,591 --> 00:40:15,593 AROUND THIS PIPE FOR LEVERAGE. 1010 00:40:21,099 --> 00:40:24,602 I'M RISKING MY LIFE FOR YOU. REMEMBER THAT. 1011 00:40:24,602 --> 00:40:26,104 I'M LOWERING YOU 12 FEET INTO AN OFFICE. 1012 00:40:26,604 --> 00:40:28,606 I'M NOT EVEN SURE WE NEED ROPE. 1013 00:40:32,610 --> 00:40:35,613 OK, KEEP IT SLOW. 1014 00:40:35,613 --> 00:40:37,615 THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S GREAT. 1015 00:40:37,615 --> 00:40:39,117 KEEP IT RIGHT THERE. THAT'S PERFECT. 1016 00:40:39,617 --> 00:40:41,619 OK, YOU'RE DOING GOOD, DINAH. 1017 00:40:41,619 --> 00:40:43,621 SLOW AND STEADY, DINAH. 1018 00:40:44,122 --> 00:40:44,622 Josh: YEAH. 1019 00:40:45,039 --> 00:40:47,625 SLOW AND STEADY. 1020 00:40:47,926 --> 00:40:51,095 DINAH! SLOW AND STEADY! 1021 00:40:53,131 --> 00:40:53,631 THAT'S GOOD, DINAH. 1022 00:40:54,048 --> 00:40:56,134 SLOW AND STEADY. 1023 00:40:56,434 --> 00:40:59,137 WHOA! SLOW! DINAH! 1024 00:40:59,137 --> 00:41:00,471 SLOW! 1025 00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,643 I'M IN. 1026 00:41:17,539 --> 00:41:19,157 ENTERING NORTH CORRIDOR. 1027 00:41:19,157 --> 00:41:20,658 OVER. 1028 00:41:20,792 --> 00:41:22,160 BE CAREFUL. 1029 00:41:25,663 --> 00:41:28,166 DINAH, I HAVE REACHED THE FILE ROOM. 1030 00:41:28,550 --> 00:41:30,668 I'M NOT DINAH ANYMORE. I'M COBRA. 1031 00:41:31,085 --> 00:41:33,171 WHATEVER. 1032 00:41:38,176 --> 00:41:39,677 JESUS CHRIST! I'M LOST! 1033 00:41:39,811 --> 00:41:41,179 I NEED DIRECTIONS. WHERE DO I GO? 1034 00:41:41,179 --> 00:41:42,647 I'M ON IT, I'M ON IT. 1035 00:41:42,730 --> 00:41:43,765 ALL RIGHT. HERE IT IS. 1036 00:41:44,148 --> 00:41:45,683 GO RIGHT. NO, NO, NO. 1037 00:41:46,184 --> 00:41:49,687 GO LEFT INTO THE MIDDLE AISLE PAST THE NUMBERED SECTION. 1038 00:41:49,687 --> 00:41:52,690 DINAH, I THINK I SEE IT. 1039 00:41:55,193 --> 00:41:58,696 DINAH, I FOUND IT, I FOUND THE FILE CABINET. 1040 00:41:58,696 --> 00:42:00,698 UHH! IT'S LOCKED. I'LL USE MY JIMMY. 1041 00:42:00,698 --> 00:42:02,200 UHH! WHERE'S MY JIMMY? 1042 00:42:02,417 --> 00:42:04,202 I GOT YOUR JIMMY RIGHT HERE. 1043 00:42:04,202 --> 00:42:06,204 I NEED MY JIMMY. 1044 00:42:06,204 --> 00:42:08,206 NO, JIMMY. REPEAT, NO JIMMY. 1045 00:42:12,710 --> 00:42:15,213 UHH! OHH! 1046 00:42:15,213 --> 00:42:16,214 COME ON! 1047 00:42:16,214 --> 00:42:17,715 OHH! GOT IT! 1048 00:42:17,966 --> 00:42:19,717 [DISPATCH RADIO] 1049 00:42:26,724 --> 00:42:29,727 Josh: HOLY MOLEY! 1050 00:42:29,861 --> 00:42:32,730 ABORT. ABORT. 1051 00:42:32,730 --> 00:42:34,732 DINAH, REPEAT. YOU'RE BREAKING UP. 1052 00:42:35,149 --> 00:42:38,736 THE SECURITY GUARDS ARE HERE. YOU GOT TO GET OUT OF THERE. 1053 00:42:41,039 --> 00:42:42,240 OH, SHIT! 1054 00:42:43,741 --> 00:42:44,709 HEY, YOU! 1055 00:42:45,209 --> 00:42:46,744 [WHIMPERS] 1056 00:42:48,246 --> 00:42:49,247 HOLD IT! 1057 00:42:51,249 --> 00:42:52,083 OHH! 1058 00:42:52,083 --> 00:42:53,251 AAH! 1059 00:42:53,718 --> 00:42:56,254 GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. WHERE DO I GO? 1060 00:42:56,471 --> 00:42:58,756 SOUTH HALLWAY! GET OUT OF THERE! 1061 00:42:58,756 --> 00:43:00,258 DINAH, SAVE YOURSELF! 1062 00:43:04,479 --> 00:43:06,264 WHOA! 1063 00:43:07,598 --> 00:43:09,767 WHOA! UHH! 1064 00:43:11,769 --> 00:43:13,271 I'M OUT. 1065 00:43:13,738 --> 00:43:16,274 [DISTANT SIREN] 1066 00:43:16,774 --> 00:43:18,776 OH, YES! YES! YES! 1067 00:43:19,077 --> 00:43:21,779 WE WERE SO VAN DAMME! COME ON, SAY IT WITH ME. 1068 00:43:21,779 --> 00:43:22,780 VAN DAMME! 1069 00:43:22,780 --> 00:43:23,781 Both: VAN DAMME! 1070 00:43:23,781 --> 00:43:24,782 VAN DAMME! 1071 00:43:24,782 --> 00:43:25,783 VAN DAMME! 1072 00:43:25,783 --> 00:43:27,285 ALL RIGHT, NOW IT'S PATHETIC. 1073 00:43:27,285 --> 00:43:30,288 ONE OF THESE GUYS IS OUR LUCKY MR. Z. 1074 00:43:30,288 --> 00:43:31,289 LET'S GET BUSY. 1075 00:43:47,889 --> 00:43:50,391 WE'RE REALLY DOING THIS, COOPER. 1076 00:43:50,391 --> 00:43:52,894 I KNOW. WE'RE SO MOTIVATED. 1077 00:43:57,899 --> 00:43:58,900 HELLO. 1078 00:43:58,900 --> 00:43:59,901 PROFESSOR DURKHEIM? 1079 00:44:00,234 --> 00:44:00,902 WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? 1080 00:44:00,902 --> 00:44:02,403 HI. I'M JOSH MILLER. 1081 00:44:02,904 --> 00:44:04,872 COME IN, COME IN. SIT DOWN. 1082 00:44:04,872 --> 00:44:06,407 ARE YOU ONE OF MY STUDENTS? 1083 00:44:06,407 --> 00:44:09,410 NO, NO. I, UH, I WAS JUST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, 1084 00:44:09,410 --> 00:44:11,913 I THOUGHT I'D POP IN. 1085 00:44:11,913 --> 00:44:14,916 NOBODY JUST POPS INTO THE PSYCH DEPARTMENT. 1086 00:44:14,999 --> 00:44:16,918 NO, THEY DON'T. 1087 00:44:16,918 --> 00:44:19,420 YOU SEEM NERVOUS, MR. MILLER. 1088 00:44:19,420 --> 00:44:20,922 NERVOUS? ME? 1089 00:44:22,924 --> 00:44:24,926 NO. JUST HAD A QUESTION. 1090 00:44:25,309 --> 00:44:29,430 UM, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PUT THIS. 1091 00:44:29,931 --> 00:44:32,433 IF, UM, SOMEBODY WAS REALLY DEPRESSED 1092 00:44:32,433 --> 00:44:34,435 AND CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE... 1093 00:44:34,652 --> 00:44:36,437 IS THIS A PERSONAL QUESTION? 1094 00:44:36,938 --> 00:44:37,939 OH, NO. 1095 00:44:37,939 --> 00:44:38,940 NO, NO. 1096 00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:41,442 I'M JUST CURIOUS. 1097 00:44:41,525 --> 00:44:42,944 HMM. 1098 00:44:45,112 --> 00:44:47,915 WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF, JOSH? 1099 00:44:47,999 --> 00:44:49,951 WHERE YOU FROM? 1100 00:44:51,452 --> 00:44:52,453 Rachel: HEY, JOSH. 1101 00:44:52,954 --> 00:44:54,455 HEY, STRANGER, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 1102 00:44:54,455 --> 00:44:56,457 I THOUGHT YOU DIED OR SOMETHING. 1103 00:44:56,457 --> 00:44:59,460 DIED? NO, NO, NO. NOBODY DIED. 1104 00:44:59,460 --> 00:45:00,461 OH, GOOD, GOOD. 1105 00:45:00,962 --> 00:45:03,464 UM, SO, HERE IT IS. 1106 00:45:03,464 --> 00:45:04,465 WHAT IS IT? 1107 00:45:04,966 --> 00:45:06,467 IT'S MY SHORT STORY. YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO READ IT 1108 00:45:06,467 --> 00:45:08,469 WHEN I WAS DONE, AND I'M DONE, SO... 1109 00:45:08,469 --> 00:45:09,971 OH, YEAH, THAT'S GREAT. 1110 00:45:09,971 --> 00:45:10,972 HEY, YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO HAVE 1111 00:45:11,472 --> 00:45:12,974 A SHORTER SHORT STORY, WOULD YOU? 1112 00:45:13,391 --> 00:45:14,475 JOSH! 1113 00:45:14,892 --> 00:45:15,977 HEY, JOSH! 1114 00:45:16,477 --> 00:45:17,478 WHAT? 1115 00:45:17,478 --> 00:45:18,980 WE NEED TO MAKE SOME DECISIONS RIGHT NOW. 1116 00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:19,981 HEY, RACHEL. 1117 00:45:20,398 --> 00:45:21,482 HEY, COOPER. 1118 00:45:21,482 --> 00:45:21,983 IN A MINUTE. 1119 00:45:22,483 --> 00:45:23,484 NO, RIGHT NOW. 1120 00:45:23,484 --> 00:45:25,987 DON'T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE. 1121 00:45:25,987 --> 00:45:28,990 I GOT TO GO, BUT I WANT TO SEE YOU. 1122 00:45:28,990 --> 00:45:30,992 YOU KNOW, I THINK ABOUT YOU... 1123 00:45:30,992 --> 00:45:32,493 ALL THE TIME. 1124 00:45:32,493 --> 00:45:35,496 WELL, WE'LL HANG OUT SOMETIME. WILL YOU CALL ME? 1125 00:45:35,997 --> 00:45:36,497 OH, YEAH. 1126 00:45:36,998 --> 00:45:37,498 OK. 1127 00:45:37,999 --> 00:45:38,499 JOSH! 1128 00:45:40,501 --> 00:45:41,502 I'LL SEE YOU. 1129 00:45:41,502 --> 00:45:42,503 ALL RIGHT. 1130 00:45:44,422 --> 00:45:46,507 WOULD YOU HURRY UP? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 1131 00:45:46,507 --> 00:45:48,509 LOOK, I BORROWED THESE BOOKS FROM THE LIBRARY. 1132 00:45:48,509 --> 00:45:50,511 THEY ACTUALLY LET YOU DO THAT. HERE. 1133 00:45:50,511 --> 00:45:52,513 WHAT DID YOUR PROFESSOR SAY? 1134 00:45:52,513 --> 00:45:54,515 OH. NOT MUCH. HE THINKS I'M SUICIDAL. 1135 00:45:55,016 --> 00:45:57,018 WE HAVE TO CHOOSE OUR MR. Z RIGHT NOW, 1136 00:45:57,268 --> 00:46:00,021 AND THIS GUY-- HE IS IT, MAN. 1137 00:46:00,021 --> 00:46:01,022 CLIFF O'MALLEY. 1138 00:46:01,022 --> 00:46:02,023 LOOK AT THOSE CLOSE-SET EYES, 1139 00:46:02,523 --> 00:46:04,525 AND THAT'S DROOL. THAT IS DEFINITELY DROOL. 1140 00:46:04,692 --> 00:46:06,527 I DON'T KNOW. I LIKE THESE GUYS. 1141 00:46:07,028 --> 00:46:07,995 LISTEN TO THIS. 1142 00:46:08,079 --> 00:46:09,530 "PATIENT HAS AN INTENSE DEATH WISH. 1143 00:46:10,031 --> 00:46:13,034 SET BED ON FIRE, RECKLESS, ALCOHOLIC, PSYCHOTIC." 1144 00:46:13,534 --> 00:46:15,036 HE'S PERFECT. HE'S--HE'S-- 1145 00:46:15,536 --> 00:46:16,537 HE'S YOU. 1146 00:46:16,837 --> 00:46:18,039 YOU'RE GONNA THANK ME 1147 00:46:18,039 --> 00:46:21,042 WHEN WE FIND HIS DEAD BODY IN OUR ROOM. 1148 00:46:21,042 --> 00:46:22,543 HE'S KIND OF SPOOKY, COOPER. 1149 00:46:23,044 --> 00:46:25,046 HA HA. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT SPOOKY IS. 1150 00:46:25,046 --> 00:46:28,049 SPOOKY IS NO MORE COLLEGE. THAT'S SPOOKY. 1151 00:46:28,049 --> 00:46:31,552 COMPARED TO THAT, THAT GUY'S MR. BUNNY FOO FOO. 1152 00:46:31,969 --> 00:46:35,556 KAPPA OMEGA RULES, BABY! 1153 00:46:35,773 --> 00:46:38,059 HEY, JEFF, WHO AM I, BUDDY? 1154 00:46:38,559 --> 00:46:40,061 I'M YOUR SISTER! HA! 1155 00:46:40,394 --> 00:46:42,063 LOOK OUT! 1156 00:46:42,446 --> 00:46:44,565 OWW! 1157 00:46:45,066 --> 00:46:47,568 OK, THIS IS IT, GUYS. 1158 00:46:47,568 --> 00:46:49,570 THIS IS THE BIG ONE. 1159 00:46:49,737 --> 00:46:52,073 OHH! OHH! OHH! 1160 00:46:52,540 --> 00:46:55,076 WHOO HOO! 1161 00:46:55,326 --> 00:46:56,577 [LOUD HARD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] 1162 00:46:56,577 --> 00:46:58,079 WHOO! 1163 00:46:58,295 --> 00:47:01,082 HEY, JEFF, GET A LOAD OF THIS, BUDDY! 1164 00:47:01,082 --> 00:47:04,585 KAPPA OMEGA! 1165 00:47:04,585 --> 00:47:06,587 HEY, BOYS! 1166 00:47:06,670 --> 00:47:09,090 YOU KNOW, MAYBE THIS ISN'T SUCH A GOOD IDEA. 1167 00:47:09,090 --> 00:47:11,592 JOSH, WE HAVE 3 WEEKS TILL FINALS. 1168 00:47:11,592 --> 00:47:13,594 HE'S OUR ONLY HOPE. 1169 00:47:13,594 --> 00:47:15,096 AND HE WANTS TO DIE. 1170 00:47:15,596 --> 00:47:18,099 WHY CAN'T HE DIE IN OUR ROOM WITH HIS NEW BEST FRIENDS? 1171 00:47:18,099 --> 00:47:19,100 Cliff: AAH! 1172 00:47:19,100 --> 00:47:21,602 HELP! HELP! 1173 00:47:22,603 --> 00:47:26,107 Cliff: OWW! OH, MY GOD! 1174 00:47:26,107 --> 00:47:27,608 [KNOCKS ON DOOR] 1175 00:47:27,608 --> 00:47:28,609 CLIFF? 1176 00:47:28,776 --> 00:47:30,111 CLIFF O'MALLEY? 1177 00:47:30,611 --> 00:47:32,113 Cliff: HELP ME! 1178 00:47:32,329 --> 00:47:34,115 LOOK OUT BELOW! 1179 00:47:34,415 --> 00:47:35,616 [GIRL SCREAMS] 1180 00:47:35,616 --> 00:47:36,617 HEY, CLIFF! 1181 00:47:37,034 --> 00:47:39,120 WHAT, DID YOU GET HIT, MAN? 1182 00:47:39,620 --> 00:47:40,621 CHILL OUT, IT'S JUST WATER. 1183 00:47:41,088 --> 00:47:44,625 NO, WE JUST CAME HERE TO TALK TO YOU. 1184 00:47:44,625 --> 00:47:48,629 AH...GOOD. 1185 00:47:48,629 --> 00:47:52,133 I'M SICK OF THE GODDAMN WHINERS AT THIS SCHOOL. 1186 00:47:52,383 --> 00:47:53,134 [MUSIC STOPS PLAYING] 1187 00:47:53,434 --> 00:47:54,635 SIT. 1188 00:47:55,019 --> 00:47:58,139 MY GOD, I'M LIVING IN A FRAT HOUSE, 1189 00:47:58,639 --> 00:48:00,141 AND THESE FUCKERS WANNA KICK ME OUT 1190 00:48:00,141 --> 00:48:02,143 FOR NOT OBSERVING QUIET HOURS? 1191 00:48:02,226 --> 00:48:04,645 WELL, THEY CAN JUST SUCK MY QUIET COCK! 1192 00:48:04,812 --> 00:48:06,647 YOU KNOW, CLIFF, WE LIKE TO PARTY. 1193 00:48:06,814 --> 00:48:10,151 I MEAN, WE PARTY ALL THE TIME, RIGHT, JOSH? 1194 00:48:10,151 --> 00:48:11,652 YEAH, YEAH. WE PARTY HARD. 1195 00:48:11,652 --> 00:48:13,654 REALLY? I GOT SOME BEERS. 1196 00:48:13,654 --> 00:48:15,656 LET'S DRINK 'EM, HUH? 1197 00:48:17,658 --> 00:48:18,659 HEY. 1198 00:48:20,628 --> 00:48:21,662 THAT ONE'S NOT BEER. 1199 00:48:27,801 --> 00:48:29,170 [BELCHES] 1200 00:48:31,672 --> 00:48:33,674 QUICK, MAN, KICK ME IN THE JUNK. 1201 00:48:34,175 --> 00:48:36,677 COME ON, MAN, KICK ME IN THE JUNK! 1202 00:48:36,977 --> 00:48:41,682 GOD...DAMN, THAT'S A RUSH! 1203 00:48:41,849 --> 00:48:42,683 OHH! 1204 00:48:43,017 --> 00:48:44,685 ?? MY NAME IS CLIFF ?? 1205 00:48:44,685 --> 00:48:45,686 ?? BROTHER OF JOE ?? 1206 00:48:46,103 --> 00:48:47,188 ?? I GOT ME SOME CRACK ?? 1207 00:48:47,605 --> 00:48:49,190 ?? I WANT ME SOME HOS! ?? 1208 00:48:49,190 --> 00:48:51,692 ?? LET ME HEAR YOU SAY YEAH ?? 1209 00:48:51,692 --> 00:48:52,693 YEAH. 1210 00:48:53,194 --> 00:48:55,696 ?? LET ME HEAR YOU SAY YEAH! ?? 1211 00:48:55,696 --> 00:48:56,697 Both: YEAH. 1212 00:48:57,198 --> 00:48:59,200 ?? LET ME HEAR YOU SAY YEAH! ?? 1213 00:48:59,333 --> 00:49:00,701 I JUST REMEMBERED. I GOT TO BE SOMEWHERE. 1214 00:49:00,701 --> 00:49:02,203 NO. SIT DOWN, JOSH. 1215 00:49:02,336 --> 00:49:03,704 NOW, DID YOU SAY THAT THEY'RE TRYING 1216 00:49:03,704 --> 00:49:05,206 TO KICK YOU OUT OF HERE? 1217 00:49:05,422 --> 00:49:07,708 BECAUSE ACTUALLY WE HAVE AN OPEN ROOM WHERE WE LIVE. 1218 00:49:08,209 --> 00:49:10,211 YOU KNOW WHAT? I GOT TO SEE RACHEL. 1219 00:49:10,511 --> 00:49:13,714 HEY! YOU GUYS EVER GET HORNY? 1220 00:49:14,131 --> 00:49:15,716 WELL, IT DEPENDS ON WHERE YOU'RE GOING WITH THIS. 1221 00:49:16,133 --> 00:49:18,719 'CAUSE I DO, MAN. I GET THESE URGES SOMETIMES. 1222 00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:21,222 I GOTTA HUMP THIS LAMP! 1223 00:49:22,723 --> 00:49:24,225 I GOTTA SCREW THIS COUCH! 1224 00:49:24,225 --> 00:49:26,227 UHH UHH UHH UHH UHH! 1225 00:49:26,727 --> 00:49:28,229 UHH! 1226 00:49:28,229 --> 00:49:29,230 HEY! 1227 00:49:29,530 --> 00:49:32,733 YOU GUYS KNOW ANY CHICKS WHO LIKE TO PARTY? 1228 00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:34,735 JOSH DOES. HE'S HEADING OVER 1229 00:49:34,735 --> 00:49:36,737 TO A CHICK'S ROOM RIGHT NOW. 1230 00:49:37,238 --> 00:49:38,739 WHY DON'T WE ALL GO? 1231 00:49:38,872 --> 00:49:40,241 [FLAPPING TONGUE] 1232 00:49:42,243 --> 00:49:46,247 YO, PARKER! YOUR ASS IS GRASS, MAN. 1233 00:49:46,330 --> 00:49:48,249 HEY, KRAUSS, YOU WANNA PARTY, HUH? 1234 00:49:48,582 --> 00:49:50,718 SAY HELLO TO MY NEW BUDDIES, BOYS! 1235 00:49:50,801 --> 00:49:53,754 HEY, ANY OF YOU WOMEN WANNA PARTY OR WHAT? 1236 00:50:01,145 --> 00:50:03,764 OHH. AHH. 1237 00:50:03,764 --> 00:50:05,766 [COUGHS] 1238 00:50:05,766 --> 00:50:07,768 Which one of these chicks is for me? 1239 00:50:08,269 --> 00:50:09,270 WHAT? 1240 00:50:09,770 --> 00:50:11,272 Which one of these chicks is for me? 1241 00:50:11,272 --> 00:50:12,273 Oh. I don't know. 1242 00:50:12,273 --> 00:50:15,276 Cliff, actually, I think they're all lesbians. 1243 00:50:15,276 --> 00:50:16,277 LESBIANS! 1244 00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:22,283 YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING COOL, MAN. 1245 00:50:22,283 --> 00:50:24,785 HEY, LESBOS, HOW'S IT HANGIN'? 1246 00:50:30,791 --> 00:50:31,792 NICE ROOM. 1247 00:50:34,295 --> 00:50:36,263 WOW. 1248 00:50:37,298 --> 00:50:39,800 WHICH ONE OF YOU PAINTED THIS PICTURE? 1249 00:50:40,050 --> 00:50:41,802 I--I DID? 1250 00:50:41,885 --> 00:50:44,805 OHH. IT'S SO SMOOTH. 1251 00:50:46,807 --> 00:50:50,811 HEY. WHO WANTS TO DO A BONG HIT? 1252 00:50:51,195 --> 00:50:52,313 HOW ABOUT... 1253 00:50:54,448 --> 00:50:55,816 YOU! 1254 00:50:56,116 --> 00:50:58,319 [GASPS] 1255 00:50:58,402 --> 00:50:59,787 [FLAPPING TONGUE] 1256 00:51:01,655 --> 00:51:02,323 HERE, I'LL LIGHT IT. 1257 00:51:02,323 --> 00:51:03,324 THAT'S OK. 1258 00:51:03,324 --> 00:51:04,325 I SAID I'LL LIGHT IT! 1259 00:51:04,325 --> 00:51:05,326 OK. 1260 00:51:05,326 --> 00:51:06,327 I'M A GENTLEMAN. 1261 00:51:09,630 --> 00:51:10,831 FIRE! FIRE! 1262 00:51:10,964 --> 00:51:11,832 AAH! AAH! 1263 00:51:11,832 --> 00:51:12,833 OOH! OOH! 1264 00:51:13,250 --> 00:51:14,335 WHOA! 1265 00:51:14,802 --> 00:51:15,836 Rachel: OH, MY GOD, SHE'S ON FIRE! 1266 00:51:16,053 --> 00:51:18,339 HEY! LOOK OUT OF THE WAY! I GOT IT! 1267 00:51:18,472 --> 00:51:19,840 MOVE OUT OF THE WAY! 1268 00:51:19,973 --> 00:51:21,842 NO! NO! 1269 00:51:22,092 --> 00:51:24,345 GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME! 1270 00:51:24,345 --> 00:51:25,846 SHE'S BURNING! 1271 00:51:26,013 --> 00:51:29,350 GODDAMN IT! 1272 00:51:29,566 --> 00:51:31,352 [GROANS] 1273 00:51:31,352 --> 00:51:32,353 UH... 1274 00:51:32,353 --> 00:51:35,356 I GUESS A BLOW JOB'S OUT OF THE QUESTION. 1275 00:51:35,739 --> 00:51:36,857 [CHUCKLES] 1276 00:51:36,857 --> 00:51:38,859 THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF HANGING OUT? 1277 00:51:38,859 --> 00:51:40,361 WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS GUY? 1278 00:51:40,361 --> 00:51:41,862 WHAT? YOU DON'T LIKE HIM? 1279 00:51:42,363 --> 00:51:45,366 HA. NO. JOSH, HE SET LUCY'S HAIR ON FIRE. 1280 00:51:45,866 --> 00:51:47,368 HE'S PSYCHOTIC. 1281 00:51:47,368 --> 00:51:50,371 WELL, HE'S AN ACQUIRED TASTE. 1282 00:51:50,371 --> 00:51:53,374 HEY, GET HIM OUT OF HERE. 1283 00:52:02,883 --> 00:52:04,885 YOU KNOW, I DON'T GET IT. 1284 00:52:04,885 --> 00:52:06,387 'CAUSE WHENEVER I'M ON FIRE, 1285 00:52:06,387 --> 00:52:09,390 I REMEMBER TO STOP, DROP, AND ROLL. 1286 00:52:09,390 --> 00:52:12,893 YOU DON'T JUST STAND THERE SCREAMING LIKE SOME CHICK! 1287 00:52:12,893 --> 00:52:16,897 YEAH. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 1288 00:52:16,897 --> 00:52:19,900 I THINK I REALLY SCREWED UP IN THERE WITH RACHEL. 1289 00:52:21,902 --> 00:52:24,872 HEY, SCREW THOSE CHICKS, MAN. 1290 00:52:25,373 --> 00:52:26,874 YOU KNOW WHAT WE OUGHT TO DO? 1291 00:52:26,874 --> 00:52:28,376 WE OUGHT TO GO INTO TOWN 1292 00:52:28,659 --> 00:52:29,877 AND GET US A COUPLE OF HOOKERS, HUH? 1293 00:52:29,877 --> 00:52:31,879 I KNOW JUST THE HOOKER, TOO. HER NAME'S CARL. 1294 00:52:31,879 --> 00:52:33,881 SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, MAN. 1295 00:52:34,382 --> 00:52:35,383 I'M DRIVING. 1296 00:52:35,383 --> 00:52:37,385 LET'S GO. 1297 00:52:37,385 --> 00:52:38,886 COME ON! 1298 00:52:38,886 --> 00:52:40,888 Cliff: WHOO HOO! 1299 00:52:40,888 --> 00:52:44,392 GOING TO FIND CARL, GOING TO FIND CARL. 1300 00:52:44,392 --> 00:52:45,893 YOU KNOW, I REALLY SHOULDN'T BE DRIVING. 1301 00:52:46,010 --> 00:52:47,895 MY LICENSE WAS REVOKED. 1302 00:52:47,895 --> 00:52:48,896 Cooper: REALLY? 1303 00:52:48,896 --> 00:52:50,347 FOR WHAT? 1304 00:52:50,431 --> 00:52:52,900 ATTEMPTED VEHICULAR MANSLAUGHTER. 1305 00:52:52,900 --> 00:52:53,901 THAT'S GOOD. 1306 00:52:54,351 --> 00:52:56,404 WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS. 1307 00:52:57,405 --> 00:52:58,906 WHOO! 1308 00:52:59,407 --> 00:53:00,274 [HORN HONKS] 1309 00:53:00,658 --> 00:53:02,910 WHOO HOO! 1310 00:53:03,027 --> 00:53:04,412 I LOVE THAT! 1311 00:53:04,412 --> 00:53:06,914 NOTHING LIKE A GOOD GAME OF CHICKEN, BOYS! 1312 00:53:07,415 --> 00:53:08,416 HA HA. 1313 00:53:08,699 --> 00:53:10,418 WHOO! 1314 00:53:16,424 --> 00:53:17,425 WHOO! 1315 00:53:17,425 --> 00:53:18,426 WHY ARE WE STOPPED? 1316 00:53:18,426 --> 00:53:20,428 YEAH, WHY ARE WE STOPPING? 1317 00:53:23,931 --> 00:53:28,436 JOSH, WOULD YOU BE SO KIND AS TO ASK THE OFFICER 1318 00:53:28,936 --> 00:53:30,938 WHERE I-95 IS? 1319 00:53:30,938 --> 00:53:32,940 Cooper: JOSH. 1320 00:53:32,940 --> 00:53:34,942 YEAH, SURE. 1321 00:53:35,943 --> 00:53:37,945 EXCUSE ME, SIR? 1322 00:53:37,945 --> 00:53:39,947 WE WERE JUST WONDERING IF YOU COULD INFORM US-- 1323 00:53:39,947 --> 00:53:41,949 HEY. DO I SMELL A PIG? 1324 00:53:41,949 --> 00:53:43,951 DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1325 00:53:43,951 --> 00:53:45,453 HEY, PIG! [SNORTING] 1326 00:53:45,453 --> 00:53:46,403 Cooper: THAT'S ENOUGH. 1327 00:53:46,487 --> 00:53:47,455 HEY, LITTLE PIGGIES! 1328 00:53:47,455 --> 00:53:48,956 Cooper: WHAT ARE YOU, CRAZY? 1329 00:53:49,457 --> 00:53:50,958 ALL RIGHT, PIGGIES! 1330 00:53:51,459 --> 00:53:52,960 Josh: OHH! 1331 00:53:53,327 --> 00:53:55,463 NO! NO! 1332 00:53:55,463 --> 00:53:56,964 Cooper: AAH! 1333 00:53:57,131 --> 00:53:59,467 HEY, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A HIGH-SPEED CHASE BEFORE? 1334 00:53:59,467 --> 00:54:01,969 IT'S INTENSE! 1335 00:54:01,969 --> 00:54:02,970 [SIREN] 1336 00:54:02,970 --> 00:54:04,472 BRING IT ON, BACON! 1337 00:54:04,972 --> 00:54:05,973 OH, CLIFF! 1338 00:54:06,257 --> 00:54:09,477 WAIT! I GOT A DAMN GOOD IDEA. 1339 00:54:09,593 --> 00:54:10,978 [OPENS GLOVE COMPARTMENT] 1340 00:54:11,178 --> 00:54:12,396 THEY HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THIS. 1341 00:54:12,396 --> 00:54:14,982 Cooper: THAT'S A GUN. THAT'S A GUN! 1342 00:54:14,982 --> 00:54:15,983 THAT'S A GUN! 1343 00:54:15,983 --> 00:54:17,485 OWW! 1344 00:54:17,985 --> 00:54:19,987 COME ON, COPPER! 1345 00:54:20,321 --> 00:54:22,490 HEY, GUYS, I THINK WE'RE LOSING THEM! 1346 00:54:22,490 --> 00:54:23,991 [GUNFIRE] 1347 00:54:23,991 --> 00:54:26,494 HEY, GUYS! 1348 00:54:26,694 --> 00:54:28,996 Cliff: YOU GODDAMN PUSSIES! 1349 00:54:28,996 --> 00:54:29,997 OOH! OHH! 1350 00:54:37,505 --> 00:54:39,006 [MOANS] 1351 00:54:41,008 --> 00:54:42,009 YOU OK? 1352 00:54:46,013 --> 00:54:49,016 THIS IS THE LAST TIME I LISTEN TO YOU. 1353 00:54:50,518 --> 00:54:52,019 WHAT? 1354 00:54:52,019 --> 00:54:53,521 Josh: WHERE THE HELL ARE WE? 1355 00:54:53,854 --> 00:54:55,523 IT'S NO BIG DEAL. 1356 00:54:55,523 --> 00:54:58,526 WE'LL JUST HITCHHIKE OUR WAY BACK TO CAMPUS. 1357 00:55:01,529 --> 00:55:05,032 JOSH, STICK OUT YOUR THUMB, OR THEY WON'T SEE YOU. 1358 00:55:11,372 --> 00:55:12,540 GOT THE PUCK. 1359 00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:14,041 COME ON, COME ON. 1360 00:55:14,241 --> 00:55:15,042 YEAH! 1361 00:55:15,042 --> 00:55:16,043 HIT ME! HIT ME! 1362 00:55:16,544 --> 00:55:17,545 I'M OPEN! 1363 00:55:17,962 --> 00:55:19,046 YEAH! 1364 00:55:19,213 --> 00:55:20,548 OH. 1365 00:55:20,998 --> 00:55:23,050 FELLAS, WHAT'S HAPPENING? 1366 00:55:24,051 --> 00:55:25,052 HOW'S IT GOING? 1367 00:55:25,052 --> 00:55:26,053 ALL RIGHT. 1368 00:55:28,556 --> 00:55:30,558 I THINK THEY'RE HAVING A LITTLE LOVERS QUARREL. 1369 00:55:31,058 --> 00:55:32,059 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1370 00:55:32,059 --> 00:55:34,061 WE SAW THEM MAKING OUT IN THE BUSHES THE OTHER DAY. 1371 00:55:34,562 --> 00:55:35,563 BULLSHIT. 1372 00:55:35,563 --> 00:55:37,064 Josh: LOOK, NEITHER OF US 1373 00:55:37,064 --> 00:55:39,066 HAVE EVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE, 1374 00:55:39,066 --> 00:55:40,568 SO IF WE'RE GONNA GO THROUGH WITH IT, 1375 00:55:40,568 --> 00:55:42,069 I WANT US TO BE SAFE! 1376 00:55:42,069 --> 00:55:43,070 Cooper: WELL, FINE. 1377 00:55:43,070 --> 00:55:45,072 I JUST THOUGHT YOU AND I WERE TIGHT BACK THERE. 1378 00:55:45,072 --> 00:55:46,073 JUST DON'T EVER PULL OUT ON ME AGAIN. 1379 00:55:46,574 --> 00:55:47,575 I PULLED OUT BECAUSE I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW 1380 00:55:48,075 --> 00:55:48,576 WHAT YOU'RE DOING! 1381 00:55:49,076 --> 00:55:50,578 I'M TAKING OVER FROM HERE. 1382 00:55:50,578 --> 00:55:52,079 YOU KNOW, JOSH, YOU ARE SO ANAL! 1383 00:55:58,586 --> 00:56:00,588 HERE'S OUR MAN. BUCKLEY SCHRANK. 1384 00:56:01,088 --> 00:56:03,591 HE'S PARANOID, DELUSIONAL, SUICIDAL URGES, 1385 00:56:03,591 --> 00:56:06,093 ATTEMPTED TO GIVE HIMSELF A LOBOTOMY. 1386 00:56:06,594 --> 00:56:07,595 YEAH, BUT-- 1387 00:56:07,595 --> 00:56:10,097 NO, DON'T BUT ME. HE'S MY GUY. HE'S GREAT. 1388 00:56:10,097 --> 00:56:13,100 WE'VE GOT 2 WEEKS TO MOVE HIM IN AND PUSH HIM OVER THE EDGE. 1389 00:56:13,300 --> 00:56:15,603 LET'S AT LEAST CHECK HIM OUT FIRST. 1390 00:56:15,970 --> 00:56:18,105 FINE. 1391 00:56:18,272 --> 00:56:20,107 [KEYBOARD CLICKING] 1392 00:56:27,197 --> 00:56:28,616 YAAH! 1393 00:56:28,616 --> 00:56:30,117 HEY, MAN. WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON? 1394 00:56:30,117 --> 00:56:32,620 NOTHING. STUFF. WHY? 1395 00:56:33,120 --> 00:56:33,621 LOOKS INTERESTING. 1396 00:56:34,121 --> 00:56:35,122 IT'S NOT. 1397 00:56:35,122 --> 00:56:36,624 YOU LIKE COMPUTERS? 1398 00:56:36,624 --> 00:56:39,627 NO. UH, MAYBE. WHY? 1399 00:56:39,627 --> 00:56:42,129 YOU A COMPUTER SCIENCE MAJOR? 1400 00:56:42,129 --> 00:56:44,632 NO. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 1401 00:56:44,632 --> 00:56:46,133 WHO ARE YOU? 1402 00:56:46,300 --> 00:56:47,635 JOSH. COOPER. 1403 00:56:48,135 --> 00:56:49,136 GOING... TO LUNCH. 1404 00:56:49,553 --> 00:56:52,139 I GOT A CLASS. 1405 00:56:52,423 --> 00:56:54,642 COMING THROUGH. EXCUSE ME. BYE-BYE. 1406 00:56:54,642 --> 00:56:57,645 HA HA! TAKE CARE. TIME IS MONEY. 1407 00:56:57,645 --> 00:57:00,648 I'M A BUSY BEAVER. VERY BUSY BEAVER. 1408 00:57:00,731 --> 00:57:03,150 AAH! 1409 00:57:03,150 --> 00:57:05,653 ALL RIGHT. OK. 1410 00:57:05,653 --> 00:57:08,656 STAND BACK. STAND BACK. 1411 00:57:08,656 --> 00:57:11,659 NOTHING TO SEE HERE. GET OUT OF MY WAY! 1412 00:57:11,825 --> 00:57:13,661 Buckley: MOVE IT! 1413 00:57:13,744 --> 00:57:15,663 Girl: HI, GUYS. 1414 00:57:30,177 --> 00:57:31,178 [SIGHS] 1415 00:57:31,178 --> 00:57:32,629 THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU HAD A CLASS. 1416 00:57:32,713 --> 00:57:34,181 NO, IT'S JUST-- 1417 00:57:34,181 --> 00:57:36,517 Cooper: YOU LIED TO US. 1418 00:57:38,185 --> 00:57:40,187 WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT! 1419 00:57:40,187 --> 00:57:42,189 PEOPLE ON THIS CAMPUS ARE TRYING TO KILL ME. 1420 00:57:42,189 --> 00:57:43,190 WHAT? 1421 00:57:43,190 --> 00:57:44,692 MY COUSIN VIRGIL IS MAKING BOMBS-- 1422 00:57:44,808 --> 00:57:46,193 ARE YOU FINISHED? 1423 00:57:46,193 --> 00:57:48,195 NO. NO. NO, I'M NOT. 1424 00:57:48,195 --> 00:57:50,197 NO, THANK YOU. NO! 1425 00:57:50,364 --> 00:57:52,649 BRING IT ON! 1426 00:57:52,733 --> 00:57:55,202 IT'S OK, IT'S OK. 1427 00:57:55,569 --> 00:57:57,705 WHAT'S IN HERE, STRYCHNINE? 1428 00:57:58,155 --> 00:57:59,707 YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN? 1429 00:57:59,957 --> 00:58:01,709 MY THERAPIST SAYS I'M PARANOID. 1430 00:58:01,709 --> 00:58:03,210 I--I GOT PROOF. 1431 00:58:03,210 --> 00:58:06,714 HE'S BEEN CO-OPTED. 1432 00:58:06,714 --> 00:58:10,217 THE SOIL IS NOT CLEAN, AND DON'T THINK I'M WRONG. 1433 00:58:10,217 --> 00:58:11,719 HEADS UP! HEADS UP! LOOK OUT! 1434 00:58:11,719 --> 00:58:13,721 DIRTY SOIL! DIRTY! DIRTY! 1435 00:58:13,721 --> 00:58:15,222 MY GUY. 1436 00:58:15,222 --> 00:58:17,725 MY GUY. YEP. 1437 00:58:17,725 --> 00:58:18,726 WE'RE GONNA MOVE HIM IN TODAY. 1438 00:58:18,976 --> 00:58:20,728 [WALKING IN THE DARK PLAYING] 1439 00:58:42,249 --> 00:58:43,283 HEY! 1440 00:58:50,591 --> 00:58:51,759 WHO IS IT? 1441 00:58:51,759 --> 00:58:53,260 IT'S COOPER. 1442 00:58:54,762 --> 00:58:55,763 REMEMBER ME? 1443 00:58:55,763 --> 00:58:57,264 YEAH. I'M BUSY, SO GO AWAY. 1444 00:58:57,264 --> 00:59:00,267 LET ME IN BEFORE THEY SEE ME. 1445 00:59:00,267 --> 00:59:01,769 BEFORE WHO SEES YOU? 1446 00:59:01,769 --> 00:59:04,271 I THINK I'M BEING FOLLOWED. 1447 00:59:04,271 --> 00:59:05,639 YOU ARE BEING FOLLOWED. 1448 00:59:07,775 --> 00:59:10,277 OH, GOD. COME ON! 1449 00:59:10,277 --> 00:59:11,779 WHAT'S GOING ON? ARE YOU IN SOME TROUBLE? 1450 00:59:11,779 --> 00:59:14,281 LISTEN, KURT COBAIN DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF. 1451 00:59:14,398 --> 00:59:16,784 YOU UNDERSTAND? HE'S NOT EVEN DEAD. 1452 00:59:16,784 --> 00:59:18,786 HE AND VINCE FOSTER ARE LIVING NEAR MOUNT ST. HELENS. 1453 00:59:19,286 --> 00:59:20,788 YOU'RE KIDDING. WHY? 1454 00:59:20,904 --> 00:59:23,791 IT'S NOT THEIR IDEA. THEY'RE BEING BLACKMAILED INTO IT. 1455 00:59:23,791 --> 00:59:25,793 BUT THE MAN RESPONSIBLE IS SO RICH, 1456 00:59:26,293 --> 00:59:28,295 SO POWERFUL, HE'LL STOP AT NOTHING 1457 00:59:28,295 --> 00:59:30,798 TO MAKE SURE THIS STAYS SUPPRESSED. 1458 00:59:31,131 --> 00:59:31,799 WHAT'S HIS NAME? 1459 00:59:31,799 --> 00:59:33,801 I CAN'T TELL YOU THAT! 1460 00:59:33,801 --> 00:59:35,302 BILL GATES. 1461 00:59:35,302 --> 00:59:37,304 BILL GATES? WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM YOU? 1462 00:59:37,638 --> 00:59:39,807 MY BRAIN. HE'S ALREADY GOT HALF OF IT. 1463 00:59:39,807 --> 00:59:42,810 I FELL ASLEEP AT NEWARK AIRPORT, 1464 00:59:42,810 --> 00:59:44,812 AND NOW I'M THIS CLOSE TO TAKING MY OWN LIFE 1465 00:59:44,812 --> 00:59:45,813 SO I CAN STOP THE APOCALYPSE. 1466 00:59:46,096 --> 00:59:49,316 WELL, SURE, YEAH. THAT MAKES SENSE TO ME. 1467 00:59:49,316 --> 00:59:51,318 YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE. 1468 00:59:51,318 --> 00:59:52,820 WE HAVE AN EMPTY ROOM IN OUR DORM. 1469 00:59:52,820 --> 00:59:54,822 THEY'LL NEVER FIND YOU IN THERE. 1470 00:59:54,822 --> 00:59:58,325 OH, GOD. THANKS, BROTHER. 1471 00:59:58,408 --> 00:59:59,827 SURE, BROTHER. 1472 00:59:59,827 --> 01:00:01,328 [SNIFFS] 1473 01:00:01,829 --> 01:00:03,330 I THINK THEY MAY BE SPRAYING THIS BUILDING 1474 01:00:03,330 --> 01:00:04,832 WITH CHEMICALS. 1475 01:00:05,115 --> 01:00:06,333 [SNIFF SNIFF] 1476 01:00:06,333 --> 01:00:08,335 NEUTRINO BEAMS. 1477 01:00:08,335 --> 01:00:11,338 THEY'RE TRYING TO ATTRACT MY BRAIN CELLS MAGNETICALLY. 1478 01:00:13,123 --> 01:00:14,341 AAH! 1479 01:00:14,842 --> 01:00:17,845 AAH! 1480 01:00:18,128 --> 01:00:20,848 Rachel: EXCUSE ME, SIR? COULD YOU-- 1481 01:00:21,298 --> 01:00:23,350 JOSH, IS THAT YOU? 1482 01:00:23,634 --> 01:00:25,269 OH! 1483 01:00:27,354 --> 01:00:28,856 UH, EXCUSE ME! LOOK OUT! 1484 01:00:32,526 --> 01:00:34,027 OK... 1485 01:00:34,027 --> 01:00:36,530 Josh: WELL, IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, 1486 01:00:36,646 --> 01:00:38,031 WE'LL BE RIGHT IN HERE. 1487 01:00:38,532 --> 01:00:41,484 AND LATER, YOU MAY EVEN WANT TO TRY THE CHAIR. 1488 01:00:45,956 --> 01:00:47,040 I KNEW MY GUY WAS GONNA WORK. 1489 01:00:47,541 --> 01:00:48,542 WAS I RIGHT? 1490 01:00:48,542 --> 01:00:50,043 I GOTTA HAND IT TO YOU. HE'S GOOD. 1491 01:00:50,544 --> 01:00:53,046 OF COURSE HE'S GOOD. HE'S THE BEST. HE'S MY GUY. 1492 01:00:53,330 --> 01:00:55,048 I LOVE MY GUY. 1493 01:00:55,048 --> 01:00:56,550 THIS IS TURNING OUT PRETTY GOOD. 1494 01:00:57,050 --> 01:00:59,052 NOT THAT YOU PICKED A BAD GUY. 1495 01:00:59,052 --> 01:01:01,054 HE JUST TURNED OUT TO BE A COMPLETE MANIAC. 1496 01:01:01,054 --> 01:01:03,557 TALK ABOUT MISSING LINKS. 1497 01:01:04,057 --> 01:01:06,059 PROBABLY SCIENTISTS OUT LOOKING FOR HIM RIGHT NOW. 1498 01:01:06,259 --> 01:01:07,060 DUDES! 1499 01:01:07,060 --> 01:01:08,061 AAH! 1500 01:01:08,478 --> 01:01:12,065 GUYS, YOU GOTTA HELP ME OUT. THE COPS ARE AFTER ME. 1501 01:01:12,065 --> 01:01:15,068 I MEAN, I WAS JUST OUT DRIVING ALONG, 1502 01:01:15,068 --> 01:01:18,572 THEY PULLED ME OVER, I WAS MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS... 1503 01:01:18,572 --> 01:01:21,074 I NEED A PLACE TO CRASH. 1504 01:01:24,077 --> 01:01:26,079 HEY... 1505 01:01:26,079 --> 01:01:28,615 THIS ROOM'S DECENT. 1506 01:01:31,084 --> 01:01:33,587 YEAH! THIS IS GONNA BE SWEET! 1507 01:01:33,753 --> 01:01:35,589 UNH! 1508 01:01:37,090 --> 01:01:41,094 HEY...A MATH AWARD. 1509 01:01:41,177 --> 01:01:43,430 I KNEW YOU GUYS WERE SMART 1510 01:01:44,097 --> 01:01:45,098 WHEN YOU BAILED OUT OF THE CAR. 1511 01:01:45,548 --> 01:01:47,601 I DIDN'T WANT TO JUMP, BUT JOSH, HE WAS-- 1512 01:01:47,968 --> 01:01:49,603 HEY! 1513 01:01:49,803 --> 01:01:52,105 LOOK. I TOOK A BULLET WOUND FOR YOU. 1514 01:01:52,606 --> 01:01:55,609 .38 AT CLOSE RANGE, HUH? HOW DOES IT LOOK? 1515 01:01:55,609 --> 01:01:57,611 UH, IT'S A LITTLE RED. 1516 01:01:57,944 --> 01:01:58,612 [LAUGHS] 1517 01:01:58,612 --> 01:02:00,614 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 1518 01:02:00,864 --> 01:02:02,115 THE COPS! 1519 01:02:02,449 --> 01:02:03,116 SHH! 1520 01:02:03,116 --> 01:02:05,118 [WHISPERING] I'm not here. 1521 01:02:05,285 --> 01:02:06,119 COME ON. 1522 01:02:06,119 --> 01:02:07,120 AAH! 1523 01:02:07,120 --> 01:02:08,121 OH, I'M SORRY. 1524 01:02:08,488 --> 01:02:10,624 SHH. WHAT? 1525 01:02:10,624 --> 01:02:12,125 HEY, CAN I USE THE BATHROOM? 1526 01:02:12,125 --> 01:02:13,126 IN A MINUTE. 1527 01:02:13,126 --> 01:02:14,127 YOW! THANKS. 1528 01:02:14,127 --> 01:02:15,128 CLIFF, GOTTA HIDE. 1529 01:02:15,578 --> 01:02:17,631 YEAH. IN THE CLOSET! 1530 01:02:18,131 --> 01:02:18,632 CLOSET? 1531 01:02:19,132 --> 01:02:19,633 OH! DOOR! 1532 01:02:20,133 --> 01:02:22,135 COME ON, LET'S GO. 1533 01:02:28,141 --> 01:02:30,644 WOW. BIG CLOSET. 1534 01:02:32,646 --> 01:02:35,148 JOSH! COOPER! 1535 01:02:35,148 --> 01:02:37,150 GUYS! 1536 01:02:37,150 --> 01:02:38,652 HEY! 1537 01:02:38,652 --> 01:02:40,153 YOU NEED SOME HELP? 1538 01:02:40,153 --> 01:02:42,155 NO! 1539 01:02:42,656 --> 01:02:44,157 CLIFF. ZEKE! 1540 01:02:44,357 --> 01:02:45,158 ZEKE! 1541 01:02:45,158 --> 01:02:46,276 CLIFF O'MALLEY. 1542 01:02:46,276 --> 01:02:47,661 I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. 1543 01:02:47,661 --> 01:02:48,662 I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! 1544 01:02:49,112 --> 01:02:50,664 NO. THIS CLOSE, THOUGH. 1545 01:02:51,164 --> 01:02:52,666 [STAMMERING] HOW YOU BEEN? 1546 01:02:52,999 --> 01:02:55,168 GOOD. GOT SHOT. 1547 01:02:55,618 --> 01:02:56,169 OH, GOD! 1548 01:02:56,670 --> 01:02:57,170 WAIT! 1549 01:02:57,587 --> 01:03:00,173 YOU EVER GET HORNY? 1550 01:03:00,340 --> 01:03:01,675 [STAMMERING] 1551 01:03:01,675 --> 01:03:04,678 GREAT! I KNOW THIS CHICK NAMED CARLA, 1552 01:03:04,678 --> 01:03:07,180 AND SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, MAN. YOU WANT TO MEET HER? 1553 01:03:07,547 --> 01:03:08,682 COME ON! 1554 01:03:08,682 --> 01:03:12,185 YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS CHICK, I SWEAR TO GOD! 1555 01:03:12,185 --> 01:03:13,636 YOU LIKE TO DRINK? 1556 01:03:13,720 --> 01:03:16,189 YOUR GUY. MY GUY. 1557 01:03:16,189 --> 01:03:17,691 YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCE? 1558 01:03:20,694 --> 01:03:22,195 [KNOCKS] HEY, THERE. 1559 01:03:22,195 --> 01:03:24,197 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 1560 01:03:24,698 --> 01:03:28,702 LISTEN, COOPER TOLD ME ABOUT THE WHOLE CONSPIRACY THING. 1561 01:03:29,069 --> 01:03:31,705 OH, FART! NOW YOU'RE IN DANGER. 1562 01:03:32,122 --> 01:03:34,708 YOU KNOW, WHEN I GET STRESSED OUT, 1563 01:03:35,208 --> 01:03:36,910 I CALL THE SUICIDE HOT LINE. 1564 01:03:43,216 --> 01:03:45,719 [RING] 1565 01:03:48,221 --> 01:03:50,223 SUICIDE HOT LINE. 1566 01:03:50,507 --> 01:03:53,727 HI. UM, I THINK I'M HAVING A PANIC ATTACK. 1567 01:03:53,927 --> 01:03:55,729 WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM? 1568 01:03:55,729 --> 01:03:58,231 YOU SEE, IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN, 1569 01:03:58,398 --> 01:03:59,733 BUT I'M VERY FRIGHTENED. 1570 01:03:59,733 --> 01:04:02,235 YOU...SHOULD BE. 1571 01:04:02,652 --> 01:04:04,237 WHO IS THIS? 1572 01:04:04,738 --> 01:04:06,239 IT'S ME, BUCKLEY. BILL. 1573 01:04:06,239 --> 01:04:08,241 YEAH. BILL GATES. 1574 01:04:08,241 --> 01:04:11,244 NO! NO, GOD! PLEASE! 1575 01:04:11,444 --> 01:04:12,746 WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? 1576 01:04:12,746 --> 01:04:15,749 YOUR BRAIN, BUCKLEY. YOUR BRAIN! 1577 01:04:15,999 --> 01:04:17,751 WELL, YOU'LL HAVE TO COME AND GET IT! 1578 01:04:23,173 --> 01:04:24,257 Buckley: THEN THEY'LL BE FREAKS! 1579 01:04:24,758 --> 01:04:25,759 Cooper: HOW IS HE? 1580 01:04:26,126 --> 01:04:27,761 WHO? MY GUY? MY GUY IS FREAKING OUT. 1581 01:04:27,761 --> 01:04:29,763 MY GUY WON'T COME OUT OF HIS ROOM. 1582 01:04:29,763 --> 01:04:31,765 MY GUY IS GOING TO KILL HIMSELF. 1583 01:04:31,765 --> 01:04:34,267 HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GONNA REMIND ME HE'S YOUR GUY? 1584 01:04:34,267 --> 01:04:37,771 MY GUY, MY GUY, MY GUY. I GUESS 3 TIMES. 1585 01:04:38,138 --> 01:04:40,774 Buckley: YOU CAN DO IT. OH, GOD! OH, NO! 1586 01:04:40,774 --> 01:04:43,276 OH, MY FUCKING GOD! 1587 01:04:43,276 --> 01:04:44,778 Cooper: GREAT. 1588 01:04:44,778 --> 01:04:47,280 OH, HEY! OH, HEY, WHAT'S UP, RACHEL? 1589 01:04:47,363 --> 01:04:48,782 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1590 01:04:48,865 --> 01:04:49,783 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1591 01:04:50,233 --> 01:04:52,285 I JUST CAME BY TO SEE WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF MY STORY 1592 01:04:52,786 --> 01:04:54,287 'CAUSE I GOTTA TURN IT IN TOMORROW. 1593 01:04:54,487 --> 01:04:56,289 OH, YEAH. IT WAS GREAT. 1594 01:04:56,289 --> 01:04:59,292 I WAS TELLING COOPER ALL ABOUT IT. 1595 01:04:59,292 --> 01:05:01,294 HOW DID I PUT IT, COOP? 1596 01:05:01,294 --> 01:05:04,297 UH, YOU--YOU SAID IT WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS. 1597 01:05:04,798 --> 01:05:06,299 HA HA HA! HA HA HA! 1598 01:05:06,666 --> 01:05:08,301 HILARIOUS. 1599 01:05:09,719 --> 01:05:13,256 IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY. WERE YOU LAUGHING AT IT? 1600 01:05:13,339 --> 01:05:15,308 OH, NO. NO, NO, NO. 1601 01:05:15,809 --> 01:05:18,812 THE TRUTH IS ACTUALLY, RACHEL, I DIDN'T READ IT YET. 1602 01:05:18,928 --> 01:05:20,814 WHAT IS YOUR DEAL, JOSH? 1603 01:05:20,814 --> 01:05:22,315 WE MAKE PLANS TO HANG OUT, 1604 01:05:22,816 --> 01:05:24,317 YOU BRING SOME PSYCHO BY MY ROOM 1605 01:05:24,818 --> 01:05:26,820 WHO SETS LUCY'S HAIR ON FIRE 1606 01:05:27,320 --> 01:05:28,771 AND THEN I NEVER HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN. 1607 01:05:28,855 --> 01:05:31,324 I'M SORRY, RACHEL. I'VE BEEN REALLY BUSY, 1608 01:05:31,324 --> 01:05:33,326 AND I'M KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF-- 1609 01:05:33,776 --> 01:05:35,829 KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A REAL JERK, 1610 01:05:35,829 --> 01:05:37,831 SO I'LL JUST SEE YOU LATER. 1611 01:05:37,831 --> 01:05:39,833 RACHEL, WAIT! 1612 01:05:39,916 --> 01:05:42,335 WOULD IT HAVE BEEN SO HARD TO READ THAT STORY, JOSH? 1613 01:05:48,508 --> 01:05:49,843 WHAT'S ALL THIS? 1614 01:05:49,843 --> 01:05:51,845 WELL, THE PAMPHLETS SAY IT'S CRUCIAL 1615 01:05:51,845 --> 01:05:53,346 TO KEEP ALL INSTRUMENTS OF SELF-DESTRUCTION 1616 01:05:53,847 --> 01:05:55,849 AWAY FROM THE SUICIDAL PERSON, 1617 01:05:55,849 --> 01:05:59,352 SO I RAN OUT AND BOUGHT ALL THIS STUFF. 1618 01:05:59,352 --> 01:06:03,356 SHH! DID YOU HEAR THAT? TAKE THIS ROPE. 1619 01:06:03,356 --> 01:06:04,357 WHAT DO I DO WITH IT? 1620 01:06:04,357 --> 01:06:06,359 TIE IT IN A NOOSE. 1621 01:06:06,359 --> 01:06:07,861 I DON'T KNOW HOW. 1622 01:06:12,866 --> 01:06:14,367 [SIGHS] 1623 01:06:14,534 --> 01:06:16,369 [URINATING] 1624 01:06:16,536 --> 01:06:18,872 OH, HO. 1625 01:06:18,872 --> 01:06:21,374 OH, THAT'S PRICELESS. 1626 01:06:21,374 --> 01:06:22,876 OH, THAT'S GOOD. 1627 01:06:25,378 --> 01:06:27,380 WE'RE THE HARDY BOYS FROM HELL. 1628 01:06:27,881 --> 01:06:28,882 SHH. 1629 01:06:35,889 --> 01:06:39,392 Josh: [WHISPERING] Shh! Cut it out. 1630 01:06:45,899 --> 01:06:47,400 KONNICHI WA! 1631 01:06:47,850 --> 01:06:48,902 HEY, BUCKLEY. 1632 01:06:48,985 --> 01:06:50,403 WHAT'S WITH THE KNIFE? AAH! 1633 01:06:50,403 --> 01:06:51,404 WE CAN EXPLAIN! 1634 01:06:51,521 --> 01:06:53,907 CALL 911! CALL 911! 1635 01:06:54,190 --> 01:06:56,409 I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE MY FRIENDS! 1636 01:06:56,659 --> 01:06:57,911 GET BACK! 1637 01:06:57,911 --> 01:06:58,912 BUCKLEY. 1638 01:06:59,028 --> 01:07:00,413 YOU'RE IN ON IT? 1639 01:07:00,413 --> 01:07:02,415 YOU'RE WITH BILL GATES? 1640 01:07:02,415 --> 01:07:04,918 NO. NO. WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS. 1641 01:07:05,285 --> 01:07:06,419 WE LIKE YOU. 1642 01:07:06,419 --> 01:07:09,422 OH, MY GOD! 1643 01:07:09,422 --> 01:07:12,375 YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME. THIS IS GREAT! 1644 01:07:12,458 --> 01:07:13,927 Josh: NO. OF COURSE, NOT. 1645 01:07:13,927 --> 01:07:16,429 YES! IT'S THE SUIT! 1646 01:07:16,596 --> 01:07:18,631 THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING! 1647 01:07:18,631 --> 01:07:20,433 IT'S NOT IN MY HEAD! 1648 01:07:20,433 --> 01:07:22,936 DUDE, THOSE GUYS ARE FREAKS! 1649 01:07:22,936 --> 01:07:26,940 AAH! I'M GONNA TELL EVERYONE AND YOU'LL NEVER GET LAID! 1650 01:07:27,106 --> 01:07:29,442 WHOO! YES! I'M NOT CRAZY! 1651 01:07:29,442 --> 01:07:32,946 IT'S HAPPENING! GET ALL YOUR GEAR AND FOLLOW ME! 1652 01:07:32,946 --> 01:07:36,449 HA HA! I'M NOT CRAZY! 1653 01:07:36,699 --> 01:07:39,452 WELL, SO MUCH FOR YOUR GUY. 1654 01:07:39,452 --> 01:07:41,904 LOOK AT ALL THESE HAPPY PEOPLE STUDYING. 1655 01:07:41,988 --> 01:07:43,957 I HATE THEM. 1656 01:07:44,207 --> 01:07:46,459 FINALS ARE IN A WEEK AND WE'RE DOOMED. 1657 01:07:48,461 --> 01:07:50,463 OH, GOD. OH, LOOK, THERE'S MY ADVISOR. 1658 01:07:50,964 --> 01:07:52,465 SHE'S TALKING TO THAT PSYCH PROFESSOR. 1659 01:07:52,465 --> 01:07:53,967 THEY'RE PROBABLY TRYING TO KICK ME OUT. 1660 01:07:54,467 --> 01:07:56,970 WHAT WAS I THINKING LISTENING TO YOU? 1661 01:07:56,970 --> 01:07:58,972 JOSH, YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED TO DO? 1662 01:07:58,972 --> 01:07:59,973 GET STONED. 1663 01:07:59,973 --> 01:08:01,975 ALL MY GREAT IDEAS COME TO ME 1664 01:08:01,975 --> 01:08:03,476 WHEN I'M BAKED OUT OF MY SKULL. 1665 01:08:03,559 --> 01:08:05,478 WHEN HAVE YOU HAD A GREAT IDEA, HUH? 1666 01:08:05,478 --> 01:08:07,480 IT'S OVER. I'M OUT. YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY. 1667 01:08:07,981 --> 01:08:08,982 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 1668 01:08:08,982 --> 01:08:12,986 I'M GOING SOMEWHERE I'LL NEVER RUN INTO YOU. CLASS. 1669 01:08:13,236 --> 01:08:15,989 [SIREN] 1670 01:08:16,322 --> 01:08:18,824 Girl: HURRY UP! OVER HERE. 1671 01:08:18,824 --> 01:08:21,327 Boy: RIGHT THERE, MAN. 1672 01:08:21,493 --> 01:08:23,329 Girl: SOMEBODY'S IN TROUBLE. 1673 01:08:23,329 --> 01:08:24,330 WHAT HAPPENED? 1674 01:08:24,330 --> 01:08:26,332 HE WAS THROWING WATER BALLOONS OUT THAT WINDOW 1675 01:08:26,332 --> 01:08:28,334 AND THEN HE JUST FELL. 1676 01:08:28,500 --> 01:08:30,836 EXCUSE ME. OH, NO. 1677 01:08:31,036 --> 01:08:32,338 HE'S DEAD! 1678 01:08:32,338 --> 01:08:33,339 [GASPING] 1679 01:08:33,622 --> 01:08:35,841 COME HERE. COME HERE. 1680 01:08:35,841 --> 01:08:37,343 OH, MY GOD, WHAT A TRAGEDY. 1681 01:08:37,343 --> 01:08:39,845 I KNOW. WE WERE SO CLOSE. 1682 01:08:39,845 --> 01:08:42,348 COOPER, JEEZ. 1683 01:08:42,348 --> 01:08:45,851 POOR GUY. I MEAN, HE WAS SUCH A...FREAK. 1684 01:08:45,851 --> 01:08:48,303 WAIT! HEY, HE'S BREATHING. HE'S ALIVE. 1685 01:08:52,358 --> 01:08:55,361 OHH. WHERE DO YOU GUYS GET THIS SHIT? 1686 01:08:55,444 --> 01:08:57,863 DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? 1687 01:08:57,863 --> 01:08:59,865 THIS MEANS WE WERE ON THE RIGHT TRACK. 1688 01:08:59,865 --> 01:09:02,368 WE CAN'T GIVE UP NOW, ONE WEEK BEFORE FINALS. 1689 01:09:02,868 --> 01:09:04,370 I GOT ONE MORE GUY. 1690 01:09:04,870 --> 01:09:07,322 WE GET HIM TO OPEN UP A VEIN, AND WE'RE GOLDEN. 1691 01:09:07,406 --> 01:09:09,375 HERE HE IS. MATT NOONAN. 1692 01:09:09,375 --> 01:09:13,379 DEPRESSIVE, DEATH FIXATION, CONSTANT THREATS OF SUICIDE. 1693 01:09:13,796 --> 01:09:16,382 OK, NO DICK-SMACKING AROUND. LET'S GET HIM IN THE ROOM 1694 01:09:16,882 --> 01:09:19,334 AND SEND HIM ON HIS WAY TO THE NETHERWORLD. 1695 01:09:20,386 --> 01:09:21,387 Josh: HERE HE COMES! 1696 01:09:21,887 --> 01:09:24,890 HERE HE COMES! SIT! 1697 01:09:30,345 --> 01:09:31,897 HEY! HEY! 1698 01:09:32,398 --> 01:09:34,400 YOU MUST BE OUR NEW ROOMMATE. 1699 01:09:34,400 --> 01:09:36,351 NEED ANY HELP MOVING IN YOUR STUFF? 1700 01:09:36,435 --> 01:09:37,903 [BRITISH ACCENT] I'M WEARING MY STUFF. 1701 01:09:38,320 --> 01:09:40,606 OH. 1702 01:09:44,910 --> 01:09:46,912 [PLAYING GUITAR] 1703 01:09:49,915 --> 01:09:52,918 ?? MY WORDS ARE MY SPERM ?? 1704 01:09:52,918 --> 01:09:54,920 ?? SPEWING FORTH MY-- ?? 1705 01:09:54,920 --> 01:09:56,422 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 1706 01:09:56,588 --> 01:09:59,425 WELL, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU TWO WANT? 1707 01:09:59,425 --> 01:10:00,426 ARE YOU A MUSICIAN? 1708 01:10:00,926 --> 01:10:01,877 ARE YOU IN A BAND? 1709 01:10:01,960 --> 01:10:04,430 KISS MY ASS. 1710 01:10:04,763 --> 01:10:05,931 WHAT? WHAT? 1711 01:10:06,381 --> 01:10:08,434 THAT'S THE NAME OF THE BLEEDIN' BAND. 1712 01:10:08,517 --> 01:10:10,936 OH. YOU'RE GONNA PLAY 1713 01:10:10,936 --> 01:10:12,438 THE BIG PRE-FINALS PARTY, RIGHT? 1714 01:10:12,855 --> 01:10:14,440 YEAH. 1715 01:10:14,440 --> 01:10:15,941 THAT'S RIGHT. IF I'M STILL AROUND. 1716 01:10:16,225 --> 01:10:18,444 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 1717 01:10:18,727 --> 01:10:21,947 AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? FUCKING KURT LODER? 1718 01:10:21,947 --> 01:10:24,950 CAN YOU PISS OFF AND SHUT MY FUCKING DOOR? 1719 01:10:25,150 --> 01:10:27,953 OH. 1720 01:10:28,070 --> 01:10:28,954 PISS OFF! 1721 01:10:29,121 --> 01:10:31,457 OH, PISS OFF. COME ON. 1722 01:10:31,457 --> 01:10:33,459 WHAT THE HELL DOES "PISS OFF" MEAN? 1723 01:10:33,876 --> 01:10:35,961 1, 2, 3, 4. 1724 01:10:36,128 --> 01:10:38,964 ?? MY WORDS ARE MY SPERM ?? 1725 01:10:39,965 --> 01:10:43,469 ?? SPEWING FORTH MY TRAGIC GERM ?? 1726 01:10:43,635 --> 01:10:47,473 ?? I'M MR. PARIAH, A SAD MESSIAH-- ?? 1727 01:10:47,473 --> 01:10:49,475 STOP! 1728 01:10:49,475 --> 01:10:51,977 PLEASE, GUYS, COME ON! 1729 01:10:52,144 --> 01:10:54,480 MATT, THAT WAS BITCHIN', MAN. 1730 01:10:54,897 --> 01:10:57,483 PRACTICE IS OVER BECAUSE THIS MUSIC IS CRAP. 1731 01:10:57,483 --> 01:10:59,485 IT'S TOTAL CRAP. 1732 01:10:59,485 --> 01:11:01,487 WELL, WANT TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT? 1733 01:11:01,487 --> 01:11:03,438 NO. I'M NOT HUNGRY. YOU CAN PISS OFF. 1734 01:11:03,522 --> 01:11:05,491 GO. THANK YOU. LOVELY. 1735 01:11:05,941 --> 01:11:09,495 THANK YOU FOR COMING. LOVELY. OFF YOU GO. 1736 01:11:09,495 --> 01:11:10,496 [CLAPPING] 1737 01:11:10,996 --> 01:11:11,997 GOOD ONE. 1738 01:11:11,997 --> 01:11:15,000 YEAH, YOU GUYS REALLY ROCK. 1739 01:11:15,083 --> 01:11:18,003 REALLY? MAYBE SOMEDAY I'LL BE FORTUNATE ENOUGH 1740 01:11:18,003 --> 01:11:20,506 TO ENTERTAIN MILLIONS OF SUBURBAN TEENY-BOPPERS. 1741 01:11:20,622 --> 01:11:22,508 MAKE MUSIC VIDEOS! 1742 01:11:22,591 --> 01:11:25,511 WON'T THAT BE "GROOVY"? 1743 01:11:25,511 --> 01:11:27,012 FUCK IT ALL. 1744 01:11:34,136 --> 01:11:38,023 TV: HA HA! THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU SAID! 1745 01:11:39,525 --> 01:11:41,527 [CARTOON NOISES] 1746 01:11:43,529 --> 01:11:46,031 TV: DON'T WORRY. THAT'LL COME OUT WITH CLUB SODA. 1747 01:11:46,031 --> 01:11:47,533 [LAUGHTER] 1748 01:11:47,533 --> 01:11:49,535 OOH! OUCH! CALL A DOCTOR. 1749 01:11:49,535 --> 01:11:51,036 I DON'T THINK HE KNEW IT WAS COMING. 1750 01:11:51,036 --> 01:11:54,039 [LAUGHTER] 1751 01:11:54,039 --> 01:11:56,041 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS. 1752 01:11:56,041 --> 01:11:57,543 [MATT CHUCKLING] 1753 01:11:58,043 --> 01:12:00,045 [CARTOON NOISES] 1754 01:12:10,055 --> 01:12:11,056 AHEM. 1755 01:12:11,056 --> 01:12:12,057 WHAT THE HELL? 1756 01:12:12,224 --> 01:12:14,560 WERE YOU JUST WATCHING TV? 1757 01:12:14,893 --> 01:12:15,561 NO! 1758 01:12:15,561 --> 01:12:17,563 I HEARD YOU LAUGHING. 1759 01:12:17,563 --> 01:12:19,064 LAUGHING? 1760 01:12:19,064 --> 01:12:22,517 YEAH. I'M A REAL BIG LAUGHER. PISS OFF! 1761 01:12:26,071 --> 01:12:27,573 JOSH! JOSH! 1762 01:12:27,573 --> 01:12:29,074 JOSH! WAKE UP! 1763 01:12:29,074 --> 01:12:30,576 WHAT IS IT? 1764 01:12:30,576 --> 01:12:31,577 I'M WORRIED. 1765 01:12:31,577 --> 01:12:33,579 I DON'T THINK THIS GUY'S WHO WE THINK HE IS. 1766 01:12:33,579 --> 01:12:37,082 WHAT? DIDN'T YOU HEAR WHAT HE SAID BEFORE? 1767 01:12:37,082 --> 01:12:38,584 "IF I'M STILL AROUND." 1768 01:12:38,584 --> 01:12:40,586 THAT MEANS HE MIGHT NOT BE AROUND. 1769 01:12:40,586 --> 01:12:43,088 AROUND MEANING "ALIVE." HE MIGHT NOT BE ALIVE. 1770 01:12:43,088 --> 01:12:45,591 BUT I DON'T THINK HE'S THAT DEPRESSED. 1771 01:12:46,041 --> 01:12:48,594 THIS GUY HAS WHAT IT TAKES, COOPER. 1772 01:12:48,594 --> 01:12:51,597 YOU KNOW, I'M THIS CLOSE TO LETTING YOU GET YOUR OWN GUY. 1773 01:12:51,880 --> 01:12:53,098 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1774 01:12:53,098 --> 01:12:54,600 I NEED A BREATH OF FRESH AIR. 1775 01:12:55,100 --> 01:12:56,602 [INHALES DEEPLY] 1776 01:12:57,102 --> 01:12:58,604 THAT'S ENOUGH AIR. I NEED MY BONG. 1777 01:12:58,770 --> 01:13:01,607 NO. WE HAVE 3 DAYS. YOU NEED TO FOCUS. 1778 01:13:01,807 --> 01:13:06,111 YOU NEED TO FOCUS. GIMME THAT. 1779 01:13:06,111 --> 01:13:08,063 ARE YOU INSANE?! 1780 01:13:08,146 --> 01:13:10,115 HEY! STAY BACK! 1781 01:13:10,115 --> 01:13:11,116 WHAT? 1782 01:13:11,116 --> 01:13:12,117 NO MORE DISTRACTIONS! 1783 01:13:12,117 --> 01:13:14,620 NO MORE DRINKS! NO MORE BONG HITS! 1784 01:13:17,122 --> 01:13:18,123 COME ON, YOU IDIOT ! 1785 01:13:18,123 --> 01:13:19,625 THIS IS FOR YOU, COOPER! 1786 01:13:19,992 --> 01:13:20,626 UNH! 1787 01:13:20,626 --> 01:13:22,628 I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU! 1788 01:13:22,744 --> 01:13:24,880 NO, JOSH, NO! 1789 01:13:32,137 --> 01:13:33,138 WHY? 1790 01:13:33,639 --> 01:13:35,007 IT'S THE ONLY WAY. 1791 01:13:36,642 --> 01:13:39,645 I SAY WE MURDER HIM. 1792 01:13:40,145 --> 01:13:41,647 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 1793 01:13:43,148 --> 01:13:44,149 HEY. HELLO. 1794 01:13:44,399 --> 01:13:46,151 HEY, MAN. 1795 01:13:46,151 --> 01:13:48,153 DO YOU MIND IF I COME IN? 1796 01:13:48,153 --> 01:13:49,655 NO. COME ON IN. 1797 01:13:49,938 --> 01:13:51,657 THANK YOU. 1798 01:13:51,657 --> 01:13:54,159 Cooper: HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 1799 01:13:54,159 --> 01:13:55,160 I FEEL LIKE CRAP. 1800 01:13:55,610 --> 01:13:57,496 FEELS LIKE CRAP. 1801 01:13:59,164 --> 01:14:02,167 I'VE BEEN HAVING THESE CREEPY DREAMS LATELY. 1802 01:14:02,167 --> 01:14:05,671 KISS MY ASS PLAYED THE PRE-FINALS PARTY, 1803 01:14:05,671 --> 01:14:09,675 AND THEN AFTERWARD, I PUT A GUN IN MY MOUTH... 1804 01:14:10,175 --> 01:14:13,178 AND I PULLED THE TRIGGER. 1805 01:14:13,178 --> 01:14:15,180 BAM! 1806 01:14:15,681 --> 01:14:17,182 BAM! 1807 01:14:19,184 --> 01:14:22,187 IT'S SO REALLY REAL. 1808 01:14:22,270 --> 01:14:24,189 IF IT'S SO REALLY REAL, 1809 01:14:24,189 --> 01:14:26,692 I DON'T THINK YOU'D GET THAT SECOND SHOT OFF. 1810 01:14:26,892 --> 01:14:28,193 NO, I SUPPOSE NOT. 1811 01:14:30,612 --> 01:14:32,698 I THINK I HEARD A CRY FOR HELP. 1812 01:14:33,198 --> 01:14:35,200 DIDN'T YOU? 1813 01:14:35,200 --> 01:14:37,703 WELL...I GUESS I DID. 1814 01:14:37,703 --> 01:14:39,204 ALL RIGHT THEN. 1815 01:14:40,706 --> 01:14:42,708 IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY! 1816 01:14:42,708 --> 01:14:45,711 YES! YES! I'M GETTING STRAIGHT-As! 1817 01:14:45,711 --> 01:14:48,714 I'M GETTING STRAIGHT-As! SEE YOU AT THE PARTY! 1818 01:14:48,714 --> 01:14:53,218 AND, PROFESSOR! PROFESSOR, YOU'RE THE BEST! 1819 01:14:53,719 --> 01:14:54,720 HEY, GUYS. HEY! 1820 01:14:55,220 --> 01:14:56,722 OOH! OOH! YEAH! 1821 01:14:57,005 --> 01:14:59,725 PIZZA! HOW IS HE? 1822 01:14:59,725 --> 01:15:02,728 HE'S BEEN IN HIS ROOM ALL DAY. 1823 01:15:02,728 --> 01:15:04,229 I HAVE A REALLY GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS. 1824 01:15:04,229 --> 01:15:05,731 MAYBE HE'S DEAD ALREADY. 1825 01:15:05,731 --> 01:15:07,733 HEY. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS UP TO? 1826 01:15:08,183 --> 01:15:09,735 NOTHING. NOTHING. 1827 01:15:09,735 --> 01:15:12,237 ?? IN THE AFTERLIFE ?? 1828 01:15:12,237 --> 01:15:14,239 ?? YOU COULD BE HEADED FOR THE SERIOUS STRIFE ?? 1829 01:15:14,406 --> 01:15:16,742 ?? NOW YOU MAKE THE SCENE ALL DAY ?? 1830 01:15:16,742 --> 01:15:18,243 ?? BUT TOMORROW THERE'LL BE HELL TO PAY ?? 1831 01:15:18,243 --> 01:15:19,244 BATHROOM. 1832 01:15:19,244 --> 01:15:20,746 ?? IN THE AFTERLIFE ?? 1833 01:15:20,746 --> 01:15:24,750 ?? YOU COULD BE HEADED FOR THE SERIOUS STRIFE... ?? 1834 01:15:24,750 --> 01:15:27,753 NOW, REMEMBER, IF HE'S HANGING FROM HIS NOOSE, 1835 01:15:28,253 --> 01:15:29,755 TRY TO ACT SURPRISED. 1836 01:15:32,758 --> 01:15:35,260 JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY. 1837 01:15:35,260 --> 01:15:36,762 WE'RE JUST CHECKING UP ON YOU. 1838 01:15:36,762 --> 01:15:39,765 HEARD YOU GUYS WERE A COUPLE OF PERVERTS. 1839 01:15:43,268 --> 01:15:45,304 [BAND PLAYING] 1840 01:15:50,309 --> 01:15:54,446 THIS LAST ONE IS CALLEDSPERM. 1841 01:15:59,318 --> 01:16:02,821 ?? MY WORDS ARE MY SPERM ?? 1842 01:16:03,322 --> 01:16:06,325 ?? SPEWING FORTH MY TRAGIC GERM ?? 1843 01:16:06,325 --> 01:16:08,327 ?? I'M DYING TO KISS YOU ?? 1844 01:16:08,327 --> 01:16:10,829 ?? I SOIL THE TISSUE ?? 1845 01:16:14,833 --> 01:16:18,837 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. KEEP ON EYE ON HIM. 1846 01:16:19,254 --> 01:16:22,841 ?? AND EVERYTHING'S SWELL ?? 1847 01:16:23,008 --> 01:16:27,346 ?? SUICIDE'S FREE ?? 1848 01:16:27,346 --> 01:16:30,849 ?? NEARING THE END ?? 1849 01:16:31,350 --> 01:16:34,853 ?? SUICIDE'S FREE ?? 1850 01:16:34,936 --> 01:16:38,357 ?? NEARING THE END ?? 1851 01:16:38,740 --> 01:16:40,359 HE'S SO INTENSE. 1852 01:16:40,359 --> 01:16:42,861 ENJOY HIM WHILE YOU STILL CAN. 1853 01:16:42,861 --> 01:16:44,863 WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 1854 01:16:46,331 --> 01:16:48,867 ?? NEARING THE ?? 1855 01:16:48,867 --> 01:16:50,369 END. 1856 01:16:50,369 --> 01:16:51,870 [GLASS BREAKS] 1857 01:16:52,170 --> 01:16:54,873 [APPLAUSE] 1858 01:16:55,006 --> 01:16:57,376 THAT WAS AMAZING. 1859 01:16:57,376 --> 01:17:00,379 FULLY. I LOVED IT. 1860 01:17:00,379 --> 01:17:01,880 WHATEVER. 1861 01:17:09,805 --> 01:17:10,889 I LIKED THAT. 1862 01:17:10,889 --> 01:17:13,392 YEAH. 1863 01:17:13,392 --> 01:17:16,445 LUCY, YOUR WIG. 1864 01:17:31,910 --> 01:17:35,881 ?? WHAT GOOD IS SITTING ALONE IN YOUR ROOM? ?? 1865 01:17:35,964 --> 01:17:38,917 ?? ?? COME HEAR THE MUSIC PLAY 1866 01:17:38,917 --> 01:17:42,421 ?? LIFE IS A CABARET-- ?? OH, FUCK ME! 1867 01:17:42,921 --> 01:17:43,422 WHAT WERE YOU DOING? 1868 01:17:43,889 --> 01:17:45,424 WHAT? NOTHING! 1869 01:17:45,424 --> 01:17:47,926 DON'T TELL ME NOTHING! YOU WERE SINGING A SHOWTUNE! 1870 01:17:48,393 --> 01:17:49,428 YOU'RE CRAZY. I'D NEVER DO THAT. 1871 01:17:49,811 --> 01:17:51,930 YOU CAN'T BE SUICIDAL IF YOU'RE SINGING SHOWTUNES! 1872 01:17:51,930 --> 01:17:53,932 WHAT?! I AM SUICIDAL! 1873 01:17:54,149 --> 01:17:55,434 YOU'RE NOT EVEN DEPRESSED! 1874 01:17:55,817 --> 01:17:57,436 OF COURSE I'M DEPRESSED! LOOK AT ME! 1875 01:17:57,436 --> 01:17:58,937 I'M VERY FUCKING DEPRESSED! 1876 01:17:59,321 --> 01:18:01,440 YOU FUCKING POSER! 1877 01:18:01,656 --> 01:18:03,442 [LOSES ACCENT] HEY, MAN, I AM NOT--OH! 1878 01:18:03,608 --> 01:18:05,944 YOU'RE NOT EVEN BRITISH! 1879 01:18:06,111 --> 01:18:06,945 MMM! 1880 01:18:06,945 --> 01:18:09,948 OH, GOD! HE'S NOT EVEN BRITISH! 1881 01:18:10,198 --> 01:18:11,950 [MUSIC BLARING] 1882 01:18:20,459 --> 01:18:21,460 EXCUSE ME. 1883 01:18:21,460 --> 01:18:24,463 COULD I TALK TO HER FOR A SECOND? 1884 01:18:24,463 --> 01:18:26,465 IT'S OK. PLEASE? 1885 01:18:29,468 --> 01:18:31,970 I'VE BEEN FLAKING OUT ON YOU, AND I'M SORRY. 1886 01:18:32,471 --> 01:18:34,473 I'M NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR EXCUSES. 1887 01:18:34,973 --> 01:18:38,977 DID YOU THINK I'D WAIT AROUND TILL YOU FOUND TIME FOR ME? 1888 01:18:39,060 --> 01:18:40,479 WAIT! RACHEL, COOPER AND I-- 1889 01:18:40,979 --> 01:18:44,483 NO, JOSH, I LIKED YOU. I REALLY DID. 1890 01:18:44,483 --> 01:18:46,485 I THOUGHT YOU WERE A REALLY GREAT GUY. 1891 01:18:46,868 --> 01:18:48,487 I WAS JUST WRONG. 1892 01:18:48,487 --> 01:18:49,988 NO. YOU WEREN'T WRONG. 1893 01:18:49,988 --> 01:18:52,491 I REALLY LIKE YOU, AND I'M A GREAT GUY. 1894 01:18:52,574 --> 01:18:55,494 Buckley: PEOPLE! I HAVE A RED ALERT! 1895 01:18:55,494 --> 01:18:59,498 ATTENTION! THIS IS AN EVIL MAN! 1896 01:18:59,498 --> 01:19:03,001 HE CAN'T BE TRUSTED. HE'S GOT FILES ON EVERYBODY. 1897 01:19:03,502 --> 01:19:06,004 HE'S TRYING TO CREATE A ONE-WORLD GOVERNMENT. 1898 01:19:06,004 --> 01:19:08,006 HE'S BAD NEWS, BABY. 1899 01:19:08,006 --> 01:19:11,009 IF YOU SEE THAT GUY, KICK HIM IN THE BALLS! 1900 01:19:11,009 --> 01:19:13,512 HEY, JOSH! JOSH! 1901 01:19:13,512 --> 01:19:16,515 I RAN BACK TO THE ROOM AND GOT MATT'S YEARBOOK. 1902 01:19:16,598 --> 01:19:18,517 HERE'S MARILYN MANSON IN HIGH SCHOOL. 1903 01:19:18,517 --> 01:19:21,436 I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM. 1904 01:19:28,026 --> 01:19:29,528 LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 1905 01:19:33,532 --> 01:19:34,533 HEY, FELLAS. 1906 01:19:34,533 --> 01:19:35,534 WHAT'S GOING ON? 1907 01:19:36,034 --> 01:19:36,535 WHAT'S WRONG? 1908 01:19:37,035 --> 01:19:37,536 LONG STORY. 1909 01:19:38,036 --> 01:19:40,539 YOU GUYS, I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. 1910 01:19:40,622 --> 01:19:41,540 YOU DO? 1911 01:19:41,540 --> 01:19:43,508 YOU'RE HAVING RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS. 1912 01:19:43,592 --> 01:19:46,044 NO, IT'S MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT. 1913 01:19:46,044 --> 01:19:49,047 I GOT YOU. I'M REAL TIGHT WITH MY UNCLE. 1914 01:19:49,047 --> 01:19:51,550 HE'S GAY LIKE YOU GUYS. 1915 01:19:51,550 --> 01:19:53,552 I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I AM COOL WITH IT. 1916 01:19:54,019 --> 01:19:55,053 WE ALL ARE. 1917 01:19:55,053 --> 01:19:56,555 YEAH. YEAH. 1918 01:19:56,555 --> 01:19:59,057 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 1919 01:19:59,190 --> 01:20:01,059 YEAH. 1920 01:20:01,059 --> 01:20:02,561 IT'S COOL. 1921 01:20:05,697 --> 01:20:10,068 WELL, LOOKS LIKE I'M A GAY TOILET CLEANER. 1922 01:20:10,068 --> 01:20:13,071 GUESS I'LL GO HOME AND PACK. 1923 01:20:13,071 --> 01:20:14,573 SORRY ABOUT YOUR BONG. 1924 01:20:14,573 --> 01:20:17,075 AH, IT'S OK. 1925 01:20:17,375 --> 01:20:19,578 Josh: CHEER UP, MAN. LET'S GO TO PICKLE'S. 1926 01:20:19,578 --> 01:20:22,581 I'LL USE HIS BLENDER, MAKE US SOME DRINKS. 1927 01:20:22,581 --> 01:20:24,583 PINA COLADA? MAI TAI? 1928 01:20:25,083 --> 01:20:25,584 MARGARITA. 1929 01:20:26,084 --> 01:20:28,086 MARGARITA IT IS. 1930 01:20:28,420 --> 01:20:30,922 [KNOCKING] 1931 01:20:30,922 --> 01:20:33,925 HEY, PICKLE, MIND IF WE MAKE OURSELVES SOME MARGARITAS? 1932 01:20:34,426 --> 01:20:41,399 UM, NO, GO AHEAD. IT'S IN THE BLENDER. 1933 01:20:42,434 --> 01:20:43,935 THANKS. 1934 01:20:45,937 --> 01:20:48,440 AHH, I'M GONNA MISS COLLEGE. 1935 01:20:48,740 --> 01:20:50,942 YEAH, ME, TOO. 1936 01:20:51,443 --> 01:20:52,444 WE HAD FUN, DIDN'T WE? 1937 01:20:52,744 --> 01:20:54,446 YEAH, WE DID. 1938 01:20:54,946 --> 01:20:57,949 I WAS GONNA END UP BEING A TOILET CLEANER ANYWAY. 1939 01:20:58,416 --> 01:21:00,952 WHAT AM IGONNA DO NOW? 1940 01:21:01,085 --> 01:21:03,455 WELL... 1941 01:21:03,455 --> 01:21:05,457 YOU CAN COME WORK WITH ME AND FLUSHLES. 1942 01:21:05,790 --> 01:21:07,959 YOU CAN BE THIRD IN THE SHIT-CLEANING COMMAND. 1943 01:21:08,460 --> 01:21:10,962 HMM. WHAT IS THIS? 1944 01:21:11,212 --> 01:21:13,465 "GOOD-BYE. CAN'T TAKE IT. 1945 01:21:13,882 --> 01:21:15,467 I'M SORRY"? 1946 01:21:18,470 --> 01:21:20,972 OH, SHIT. 1947 01:21:21,105 --> 01:21:23,975 OH, SHIT. 1948 01:21:23,975 --> 01:21:26,478 OH, SHIT! 1949 01:21:26,478 --> 01:21:27,479 SHIT! 1950 01:21:27,479 --> 01:21:28,980 WHAT? WHAT? 1951 01:21:31,483 --> 01:21:33,485 HE'S COMMITTED SUICIDE. 1952 01:21:33,485 --> 01:21:35,487 I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE WAS DEPRESSED. 1953 01:21:35,487 --> 01:21:38,490 DON'T YOU SEE? THIS IS THE HAND OF GOD HERE. 1954 01:21:38,490 --> 01:21:41,493 IT'S WHAT I'VE PRAYED FOR. THIS IS A MIRACLE. 1955 01:21:41,493 --> 01:21:45,497 PICKLE...DEAD. WE'VE GOT TO MOVE FAST. 1956 01:21:45,964 --> 01:21:47,499 GO TO HOUSING. FILE THE PAPERWORK. 1957 01:21:47,499 --> 01:21:50,001 JUST GET THE FILES WORKED OUT. GO ON, JOSH, PLEASE! 1958 01:21:50,001 --> 01:21:53,004 IT'S WHAT WE'VE BEEN WORKING FOR! WE'RE SET! 1959 01:22:05,016 --> 01:22:06,518 WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! 1960 01:22:06,518 --> 01:22:08,520 I LIVE HERE! WHO ARE YOU? 1961 01:22:08,736 --> 01:22:12,023 WHAT? KYLE! 1962 01:22:12,323 --> 01:22:15,527 NO, NO, NO. THEY MOVED YOU OUT. 1963 01:22:15,527 --> 01:22:17,529 SORRY, BUDDY, THEY MOVED SOMEBODY ELSE IN 1964 01:22:18,029 --> 01:22:20,532 SO...SAYONARA. 1965 01:22:21,533 --> 01:22:23,535 [KNOCKING] 1966 01:22:23,535 --> 01:22:25,537 WHO IS IT? 1967 01:22:25,537 --> 01:22:27,539 WHERE ARE MY POSTERS 1968 01:22:27,539 --> 01:22:30,542 AND WHO ARE THOSE 2 PEOPLE FUCKING IN MY ROOM?! 1969 01:22:30,542 --> 01:22:33,044 THERE'S PEOPLE FUCKING IN YOUR ROOM? 1970 01:22:33,044 --> 01:22:35,547 Matt: OH, SHIT! COME ON! 1971 01:22:35,547 --> 01:22:37,549 THOSE GUYS. 1972 01:22:38,049 --> 01:22:39,050 THEY THREW YOUR STUFF OUT 1973 01:22:39,551 --> 01:22:41,352 AND SAID TO TELL YOU TO GO FUCK YOURSELF. 1974 01:22:44,556 --> 01:22:46,558 KELLY... 1975 01:22:46,558 --> 01:22:48,560 COULD YOU WAIT OUT HERE FOR A COUPLE SECONDS? 1976 01:22:48,560 --> 01:22:51,563 I GOTTA...THANKS, BABY. 1977 01:22:51,563 --> 01:22:53,064 GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE! 1978 01:22:53,448 --> 01:22:55,567 Matt: YOU CAN'T KICK ME OUT. THIS IS MY ROOM. 1979 01:22:56,067 --> 01:22:57,569 COOPER, TELL HIM I'M YOUR ROOMMATE. 1980 01:22:57,785 --> 01:23:00,071 MY ROOMMATE IS A DEPRESSIVE ROCK STAR. 1981 01:23:00,071 --> 01:23:03,575 YOU ARE A CANDY ASS, SHOWTUNE-SINGING CHEERLEADER. 1982 01:23:03,575 --> 01:23:04,576 YOU'RE DEAD. 1983 01:23:04,876 --> 01:23:06,077 Matt: THAT'S MY GUITAR! 1984 01:23:06,077 --> 01:23:08,079 OFF WE GO. LOVELY. LOVELY. 1985 01:23:08,580 --> 01:23:09,581 [GUITAR SMASHES] 1986 01:23:10,081 --> 01:23:11,583 [SCUFFLING] 1987 01:23:17,088 --> 01:23:19,591 COME ON, PICKLE. COME ON. THROW UP FOR ME. 1988 01:23:19,591 --> 01:23:21,593 JOSH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1989 01:23:21,593 --> 01:23:23,561 COME ON. LET'S GET THOSE PILLS UP. 1990 01:23:23,645 --> 01:23:26,097 [PICKLE COUGHS] 1991 01:23:26,431 --> 01:23:28,600 Medic: COMING THROUGH. WATCH IT. 1992 01:23:35,106 --> 01:23:36,608 Cooper: WHAT THE HELL? 1993 01:23:36,608 --> 01:23:40,111 COOPER, HE WAS ALIVE. I COULDN'T LET HIM DIE. 1994 01:23:40,111 --> 01:23:41,613 THIS IS WHAT WE'VE BEEN WORKING FOR, JOSH. 1995 01:23:41,613 --> 01:23:43,114 THIS WAS OUR LOOPHOLE. 1996 01:23:43,114 --> 01:23:46,117 DON'T YOU HAVE ENOUGH BRAINS TO RECOGNIZE A LOOPHOLE? 1997 01:23:46,117 --> 01:23:48,119 THE ONLY LOOPHOLE I EVER RECOGNIZED 1998 01:23:48,119 --> 01:23:50,622 WAS YOU GOT A RICH DADDY WHO BUYS YOUR WAY THROUGH LIFE. 1999 01:23:50,622 --> 01:23:54,125 OH! OH! CONGRATULATIONS, BUDDY. 2000 01:23:54,125 --> 01:23:56,127 NOW YOU CAN GO BACK TO INDIANA AND SPEND 2001 01:23:56,260 --> 01:23:57,629 THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN A BOWLING ALLY. 2002 01:23:58,129 --> 01:24:00,131 WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? 2003 01:24:00,131 --> 01:24:03,635 PEOPLE WHO MAKE IT IN THIS WORLD HAVE GUTS. 2004 01:24:04,135 --> 01:24:05,637 OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T HAVE ANY. 2005 01:24:37,168 --> 01:24:41,673 ?? MAMA GRIPPED ONTO THE MILKMAN'S HAND ?? 2006 01:24:41,673 --> 01:24:44,676 ?? AND THEN SHE FINALLY GAVE BIRTH ?? 2007 01:24:46,678 --> 01:24:50,682 ?? YEARS GO BY, AND STILL I DON'T KNOW ?? 2008 01:24:50,982 --> 01:24:54,185 ?? WHO SHALL INHERIT THIS EARTH ?? 2009 01:24:56,187 --> 01:24:59,190 ?? AND NO ONE WILL KNOW MY NAME ?? 2010 01:24:59,190 --> 01:25:03,695 ?? UNTIL IT'S ON A STONE ?? 2011 01:25:03,995 --> 01:25:06,698 ?? WHOA-OA-OA ?? 2012 01:25:06,698 --> 01:25:10,702 ?? THIS COULD BE OUR... ?? 2013 01:25:10,702 --> 01:25:14,205 Hank: DUDE, THERE'S SOME GUY OUT ON THE BRIDGE! 2014 01:25:14,205 --> 01:25:15,707 IT'S THAT GUY JOSH! 2015 01:25:15,707 --> 01:25:18,209 Boy: JOSH IS ON THE BRIDGE! HE'S GONNA JUMP! 2016 01:25:18,710 --> 01:25:20,712 [SIREN] 2017 01:25:21,179 --> 01:25:22,714 SLOW DOWN! SLOW DOWN! 2018 01:25:33,808 --> 01:25:35,226 GET A LIGHT UP THERE! 2019 01:25:36,944 --> 01:25:38,730 Cooper: JOSH! 2020 01:25:38,730 --> 01:25:40,732 JOSH, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING UP THERE? 2021 01:25:40,732 --> 01:25:42,233 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 2022 01:25:42,233 --> 01:25:43,735 I'M JUST LOOKING FOR A WAY OUT. 2023 01:25:44,152 --> 01:25:45,737 SERIOUSLY, COME DOWN. 2024 01:25:45,953 --> 01:25:47,739 WHAT'S THE POINT? MY LIFE'S OVER. 2025 01:25:48,156 --> 01:25:51,242 WHY? BECAUSE YOU'RE OFF YOUR TRACK? 2026 01:25:51,242 --> 01:25:53,745 OH, COME ON, JOSH. WHO CARES? 2027 01:25:53,745 --> 01:25:57,248 THAT'S SO FUCKING STUPID. ARE YOU AN IDIOT? 2028 01:25:57,548 --> 01:25:59,250 NO! SHH! 2029 01:25:59,250 --> 01:26:03,254 Cooper: LOOK, I UNDERSTAND. 2030 01:26:03,755 --> 01:26:05,757 MAYBE YOU WERE ON THE WRONG TRACK, JOSH, 2031 01:26:05,757 --> 01:26:09,260 BUT IT'S OK, BECAUSE NOW YOU CAN FIGURE OUT 2032 01:26:09,260 --> 01:26:10,762 WHAT YOU'RE REALLY SUPPOSED TO DO. 2033 01:26:10,762 --> 01:26:13,765 WHAT? BECOME A TOTAL FAILURE? 2034 01:26:14,265 --> 01:26:15,266 NO. NO. 2035 01:26:15,566 --> 01:26:17,769 YOU KNOW... 2036 01:26:17,769 --> 01:26:20,271 I SHOULD BE THE ONE UP THERE. 2037 01:26:20,772 --> 01:26:22,774 MY FATHER'S RIGHT. I'M A FUCKUP. 2038 01:26:22,774 --> 01:26:24,776 I'M A TOTAL FUCKUP. 2039 01:26:24,776 --> 01:26:27,278 YOU'RE ON THIS LITTLE HOLIDAY IN FUCKUPLAND, 2040 01:26:27,779 --> 01:26:29,280 BUT I LIVE HERE PERMANENTLY! 2041 01:26:29,280 --> 01:26:32,784 JOSH,I MESSED UP. 2042 01:26:32,784 --> 01:26:34,285 I MESSED EVERYTHING UP. 2043 01:26:34,285 --> 01:26:36,788 YOU JUST DID THE RIGHT THING AND THAT TOOK GUTS. 2044 01:26:36,788 --> 01:26:38,790 MORE GUTS THAN I HAVE. 2045 01:26:38,956 --> 01:26:41,292 YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND. 2046 01:26:44,796 --> 01:26:49,100 SO, PLEASE, JUST STEP BACK FROM THE LEDGE. 2047 01:26:59,811 --> 01:27:01,312 [CROWD MURMURING] 2048 01:27:01,646 --> 01:27:03,314 [APPLAUSE] 2049 01:27:12,790 --> 01:27:14,826 YOU'RE GONNA BE OK, MAN. 2050 01:27:14,826 --> 01:27:17,328 YOU THINK THEY BOUGHT IT? 2051 01:27:17,328 --> 01:27:18,329 BOUGHT WHAT? 2052 01:27:18,329 --> 01:27:19,831 THAT I'M SUICIDAL. 2053 01:27:20,248 --> 01:27:22,834 WH-WHAT? 2054 01:27:22,834 --> 01:27:24,335 WELL, I DON'T THINK THEY'LL THROW SOMEBODY SUICIDAL 2055 01:27:24,335 --> 01:27:25,837 OUT OF SCHOOL, DO YOU? 2056 01:27:26,337 --> 01:27:29,340 NO. NO, OF COURSE NOT. 2057 01:27:39,350 --> 01:27:44,355 YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD. 2058 01:27:44,355 --> 01:27:48,860 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE ME SAY ALL THAT STUFF. 2059 01:27:48,860 --> 01:27:50,361 THINK HOW PROUD YOUR DAD'S GONNA BE 2060 01:27:50,361 --> 01:27:51,863 WHEN HE FINDS OUT YOU'RE A HERO. 2061 01:27:51,863 --> 01:27:55,366 YOU ARE A GENIUS. 2062 01:27:55,833 --> 01:27:57,869 [CROWD CLAPPING] 2063 01:27:58,252 --> 01:28:01,873 OH, THEY MAKE SUCH A CUTE COUPLE. 2064 01:28:02,874 --> 01:28:04,208 HUH? 2065 01:28:05,877 --> 01:28:07,378 Josh: IF THERE'S ONE THING I LEARNED IN COLLEGE, 2066 01:28:07,879 --> 01:28:10,381 IT'S THINGS DON'T ALWAYS TURN OUT LIKE YOU PLAN. 2067 01:28:10,381 --> 01:28:11,883 THE SCHOOL BENT THE RULES A LITTLE 2068 01:28:11,883 --> 01:28:14,385 AND GAVE ME ANOTHER SEMESTER TO RAISE MY GRADES. 2069 01:28:14,385 --> 01:28:16,387 I WAS ABOUT 13... 2070 01:28:16,387 --> 01:28:17,889 BUT I HAD TO SPEND 6 MONTHS 2071 01:28:17,889 --> 01:28:19,891 IN INTENSIVE THERAPY WITH PROFESSOR DURKHEIM, 2072 01:28:19,891 --> 01:28:22,393 AND I LEARNED I LIKED PSYCHOLOGY MORE THAN MEDICINE 2073 01:28:22,393 --> 01:28:23,895 SO I CHANGED MY MAJOR. 2074 01:28:24,395 --> 01:28:25,897 BYE, BOB. 2075 01:28:26,898 --> 01:28:28,900 COOPER'S DAD WAS SO PROUD 2076 01:28:28,900 --> 01:28:31,402 HE PAID FOR HIM TO STAY IN SCHOOL FOR ANOTHER YEAR. 2077 01:28:31,402 --> 01:28:33,905 HE STILL HAD TO SPEND VACATIONS WORKING AT THE COMPANY 2078 01:28:33,905 --> 01:28:35,406 AND HE SAYS, IF YOU'RE STONED ENOUGH, 2079 01:28:35,907 --> 01:28:38,409 SCRUBBING TOILETS CAN BE A ZEN-LIKE EXPERIENCE. 2080 01:28:38,409 --> 01:28:39,911 DURING THE SCHOOL YEAR, HE ALSO GOT A JOB 2081 01:28:40,411 --> 01:28:41,913 WORKING AT THE SUICIDE HOT LINE. 2082 01:28:41,913 --> 01:28:43,414 THE MEZZANINE? 2083 01:28:43,414 --> 01:28:46,918 CAN I EVEN SEE THE BAND FROM THERE? 2084 01:28:46,918 --> 01:28:48,419 HOW MUCH ARE THEY? 2085 01:28:48,419 --> 01:28:51,422 150 BUCKS?! ARE YOU INSANE?! 2086 01:28:51,889 --> 01:28:54,425 WHAT?! OH, DROP DEAD! 2087 01:28:54,926 --> 01:28:56,427 Josh: RACHEL AND I GOT BACK TOGETHER. 2088 01:28:56,427 --> 01:28:57,929 SHE LIKES HAVING A BOYFRIEND WHO'S UNSTABLE 2089 01:28:58,429 --> 01:29:01,399 BECAUSE IT GIVES HER INSPIRATION FOR HER CREATIVE WRITING. 2090 01:29:01,482 --> 01:29:03,935 BUCKLEY EVENTUALLY LEFT DALEMAN AND WAS ARRESTED 2091 01:29:03,935 --> 01:29:06,437 FOR THE ATTEMPTED ASSASSINATION OF BILL GATES. 2092 01:29:06,570 --> 01:29:08,940 I'LL BE BACK! COUNT ON IT! 2093 01:29:09,273 --> 01:29:10,942 KELLY BROKE UP WITH KYLE 2094 01:29:11,442 --> 01:29:13,945 AND HE SPENT THE REST OF THE SEMESTER IN CONFESSION. 2095 01:29:13,945 --> 01:29:15,446 Kyle: FATHER, I HAD MY WAY WITH MYSELF 2096 01:29:15,446 --> 01:29:16,948 IN THE FRESHMAN FACEBOOK. 2097 01:29:16,948 --> 01:29:19,450 I'VE JUST BEEN, LIKE--[SPITS] 2098 01:29:19,450 --> 01:29:21,953 JACKING OFF TO THIS THING, FOR, LIKE, 3 WEEKS. 2099 01:29:22,453 --> 01:29:23,955 OH, YEAH! 2100 01:29:23,955 --> 01:29:26,457 OH, LITTLE KYLE! 2101 01:29:27,458 --> 01:29:29,460 [UPBEAT] ?? MY WORDS ARE MY SPERM ?? 2102 01:29:29,677 --> 01:29:30,461 ?? HIS WORDS ARE HIS SPERM ?? 2103 01:29:30,928 --> 01:29:31,963 Josh: MATT AND HIS BAND GOT FAMOUS, 2104 01:29:32,213 --> 01:29:34,465 AND HIS ALBUM WENT STRAIGHT TO THE TOP OF THE CHARTS. 2105 01:29:34,849 --> 01:29:36,467 HE EVEN GOT INTERVIEWED ON MTV 2106 01:29:36,968 --> 01:29:38,936 BY HIS HERO KURT LODER. 2107 01:29:39,020 --> 01:29:41,973 PICKLE RECOVERED AND MOVED IN WITH US. 2108 01:29:41,973 --> 01:29:43,474 WE FELT SORRY FOR HIM, 2109 01:29:43,474 --> 01:29:45,977 PLUS WE FIGURED IF HE EVER GOT REALLY DEPRESSED AGAIN, 2110 01:29:45,977 --> 01:29:47,979 WELL, WE MIGHT AS WELL COVER OUR BASES, 2111 01:29:48,479 --> 01:29:49,981 IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 2112 01:29:51,983 --> 01:29:54,986 AS FOR CLIFF, CLIFF WAS ABOARD A PARTY CRUISE 2113 01:29:54,986 --> 01:29:58,489 THAT TRAGICALLY CAUGHT ON FIRE AND CAPSIZED. 2114 01:29:58,990 --> 01:30:03,494 HE REFUSED TO ABANDON SHIP, AND HIS BODY WAS LOST AT SEA. 2115 01:30:03,661 --> 01:30:05,997 COOPER SEEMED TO TAKE IT HARDER THAN ANY OF US. 2116 01:30:12,503 --> 01:30:14,005 AAH! AAH! 2117 01:30:14,005 --> 01:30:15,006 AAH! 2118 01:30:15,006 --> 01:30:17,508 BUDDY! COME ON DOWN! 2119 01:30:18,009 --> 01:30:19,010 NO! AAH! 2120 01:30:19,176 --> 01:30:20,511 HEY! OW! 2121 01:30:21,012 --> 01:30:23,014 GOD! YOU'RE KNEELING ON MY JUNK! 2122 01:30:23,014 --> 01:30:26,484 AAH! AAH! 2123 01:30:26,567 --> 01:30:28,019 AAH! AAH! 2124 01:30:28,152 --> 01:30:30,021 HE'S ON ME! HE'S ALIVE! 2125 01:30:30,521 --> 01:30:33,024 NO. IT WAS JUST A BAD DREAM. 2126 01:30:33,491 --> 01:30:34,525 FELLAS! 2127 01:30:34,859 --> 01:30:36,027 AAH! AAH! 2128 01:30:36,444 --> 01:30:39,530 NOW, THAT WAS A FUCKING BOAT RIDE! 2129 01:30:39,530 --> 01:30:44,035 AN ADVENTURE LIKE THAT MAKES ME FRICKIN' HORNY. 2130 01:30:44,335 --> 01:30:45,536 [WHIMPERING] 2131 01:30:46,037 --> 01:30:48,039 ?? IN THE AFTERLIFE ?? 2132 01:30:48,039 --> 01:30:50,541 ?? YOU WILL BE HEADED FOR THE SERIOUS STRIFE ?? 2133 01:30:50,541 --> 01:30:52,543 ?? NOW YOU MAKE THE SCENE ALL DAY ?? 2134 01:30:52,543 --> 01:30:55,046 ?? BUT TOMORROW THERE'LL BE HELL TO PAY ?? 2135 01:30:55,046 --> 01:30:57,048 ?? IN THE AFTERLIFE ?? 2136 01:30:57,548 --> 01:30:59,550 ?? YOU WILL BE HEADED FOR THE SERIOUS STRIFE ?? 2137 01:30:59,550 --> 01:31:01,552 ?? NOW YOU MAKE THE SCENE ALL DAY ?? 2138 01:31:02,053 --> 01:31:03,554 ?? BUT TOMORROW THERE'LL BE HELL TO PAY ?? 2139 01:31:03,554 --> 01:31:05,556 ?? PEOPLE, LISTEN ATTENTIVELY ?? 2140 01:31:05,556 --> 01:31:07,558 ?? I MEAN, ABOUT FUTURE CALAMITY ?? 2141 01:31:08,059 --> 01:31:10,061 ?? I USED TO THINK THE IDEA WAS OBSOLETE ?? 2142 01:31:10,061 --> 01:31:13,064 ?? UNTIL I HEARD THE OLD MAN TAPPING HIS FEET ?? 2143 01:31:13,064 --> 01:31:15,066 ?? NOW THE "D" AND THE "A" AND THE "M" AND THE "N" ?? 2144 01:31:15,066 --> 01:31:18,069 ?? AND THE "A" AND THE "T" AND THE "I-O-N" ?? 2145 01:31:18,069 --> 01:31:20,571 ?? LOSE YOUR FACE, LOSE YOUR NAME ?? 2146 01:31:20,571 --> 01:31:22,573 ?? THEN GET FITTED FOR A TWO-TONE FLAME ?? 2147 01:31:22,573 --> 01:31:24,575 ?? "D" AND THE "A" AND THE "M" AND THE "N" ?? 2148 01:31:24,575 --> 01:31:27,578 ?? AND THE "A" AND THE "T" AND THE "I-O-N" ?? 2149 01:31:27,578 --> 01:31:30,081 ?? LOSE YOUR FACE, LOSE YOUR NAME ?? 2150 01:31:30,081 --> 01:31:38,589 ?? THEN GET FITTED FOR A TWO-TONE FLA-A-AME ?? 2151 01:31:42,093 --> 01:31:42,593 [NEW SONG BEGINS] 2152 01:31:43,094 --> 01:31:44,095 ?? A DUSTY HOUSE ?? 2153 01:31:44,595 --> 01:31:46,097 ?? THROUGH MY DIRTY CLOTHES ?? 2154 01:31:46,097 --> 01:31:48,099 ?? SEATED IN A TOWN ?? 2155 01:31:48,099 --> 01:31:49,600 ?? ON THE VERGE OF EXTINCTION ?? 2156 01:31:50,101 --> 01:31:51,602 ?? STRUMMING UP THE TUNE ?? 2157 01:31:51,602 --> 01:31:53,604 ?? ALONE, I COMPOSE ?? 2158 01:31:53,604 --> 01:31:56,607 ?? A BITTERSWEET DITTY ABOUT AN EX-GIRLFRIEND ?? 2159 01:31:57,108 --> 01:31:58,609 ?? SO FUCK HER ?? 2160 01:31:58,609 --> 01:32:00,111 ?? AND HER PAINFUL MEMORIES ?? 2161 01:32:00,611 --> 01:32:02,113 ?? WHY TEAR OUT MY HEART ?? 2162 01:32:02,113 --> 01:32:04,115 ?? FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE? ?? 2163 01:32:04,115 --> 01:32:06,117 ?? WHY NOT GIVE OUR LOVE ?? 2164 01:32:06,117 --> 01:32:07,618 ?? A CATCHY MELODY? ?? 2165 01:32:08,119 --> 01:32:09,620 ?? BURNING UP THE CHARTS ?? 2166 01:32:09,620 --> 01:32:11,622 ?? SWEET SIMPLICITY ?? 2167 01:32:11,622 --> 01:32:13,624 ?? WE'LL DO IT IN THE END ?? 2168 01:32:19,630 --> 01:32:21,632 ?? GOTTA GET AWAY ?? 2169 01:32:22,133 --> 01:32:23,634 ?? MAYBE WE SHOULD STAY ?? 2170 01:32:23,634 --> 01:32:25,636 ?? SEATED IN A TOWN ?? 2171 01:32:25,636 --> 01:32:27,638 ?? ON THE VERGE OF EXPLOSION ?? 2172 01:32:27,638 --> 01:32:28,639 ?? NEW YORK AND L.A. ?? 2173 01:32:28,639 --> 01:32:31,142 ?? NO ONE LISTENING ANYWAY ? ? 2174 01:32:31,142 --> 01:32:33,144 ?? BUSY PREDICTING ?? 2175 01:32:33,144 --> 01:32:34,645 ?? THE NEXT BIG HIT ?? 2176 01:32:34,645 --> 01:32:35,646 ?? SO FUCK THAT ?? 2177 01:32:35,646 --> 01:32:37,648 ?? GET A CHANGE OF SCENERY ?? 2178 01:32:37,648 --> 01:32:39,650 ?? I'LL PACK UP THE CAR ?? 2179 01:32:39,650 --> 01:32:41,652 ?? AND MOVE TO CALIFORNIA ?? 2180 01:32:41,652 --> 01:32:43,154 ?? FIND A BETTER GIRLFRIEND ?? 2181 01:32:43,654 --> 01:32:45,156 ?? AND A CATCHY MELODY ?? 2182 01:32:45,656 --> 01:32:47,158 ?? PLAYING ALL THE CARDS ?? 2183 01:32:47,158 --> 01:32:50,161 ?? HAPPY HARMONY ?? 2184 01:32:50,161 --> 01:32:52,163 [NEW SONG BEGINS] 2185 01:32:53,664 --> 01:32:56,667 ?? SWEET, SWEET LOVE ?? 2186 01:32:57,168 --> 01:33:00,171 ?? AND MY BLISTERED FEET ?? 2187 01:33:00,171 --> 01:33:04,175 ?? IT AIN'T EASY ?? 2188 01:33:04,175 --> 01:33:08,179 ?? COME AWAY ?? 2189 01:33:08,179 --> 01:33:11,682 ?? I WAS FEELING FINE ?? 2190 01:33:11,682 --> 01:33:14,685 ?? I'M THE WATER'S FRIEND ?? 2191 01:33:15,186 --> 01:33:18,689 ?? I COULD STAY HERE ?? 2192 01:33:18,689 --> 01:33:22,693 ?? FOR THE DAY ?? 2193 01:33:24,695 --> 01:33:28,199 ?? WE CAN STAY HERE NOW ?? 2194 01:33:28,199 --> 01:33:31,702 ?? LIKE ANYONE, CAN'T YOU? ? ? 2195 01:33:31,702 --> 01:33:35,706 ?? WE CAN STAY HERE NOW ?? 2196 01:33:35,706 --> 01:33:37,708 ?? 'CAUSE HERE IT COMES ?? 2197 01:33:37,708 --> 01:33:39,710 ?? HERE IT COMES ?? 2198 01:33:39,710 --> 01:33:42,713 ?? IT'S A MUSIC SHOW... ?? 2199 01:33:42,713 --> 01:33:53,524 ?? IN A DISTANT SOUND... ?? 2200 01:33:53,524 --> 01:33:55,026 AAAH! 2201 01:33:55,026 --> 01:33:57,528 HOLY COW! HE'S ON FIRE! 2202 01:33:57,528 --> 01:33:58,529 A LITTLE HELP HERE! 2203 01:33:59,030 --> 01:33:59,530 PILLOWS! 2204 01:33:59,947 --> 01:34:00,781 OH! 2205 01:34:01,032 --> 01:34:02,533 WHAT HAPPENED? IT'S CLIFF. 2206 01:34:02,650 --> 01:34:03,534 ZEKE! 2207 01:34:03,534 --> 01:34:04,535 AAH! 2208 01:34:04,535 --> 01:34:06,037 COME ON, MAN! WE WEREN'T DONE! 2209 01:34:06,037 --> 01:34:07,538 NO! LET'S GO. 2210 01:34:07,822 --> 01:34:09,040 COME ON! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! 2211 01:34:09,490 --> 01:34:12,043 HE'S MINE, FELLAS! COME ON! 2212 01:34:12,043 --> 01:34:13,544 Zeke: OH, GOD! AAH! 145739

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