Original subtitles

You're still small now, so I'll fit you right here.

I'll give you more space later.

-Let me ride next to you. -Thanks.

I'm not too sure about you.

-Tea? -Please.

We're not married.

But can I stay over?

I'm not running a hotel. Come on.

This one, that one, or that one?

Which one do you think is hot?

This one for sure.

The bananas clash with my outfit, I think.

-Come on, Squirtle. -Sure.

Hug.

Hi. Why do I owe this pleasure?

Because I love you very much, Daddy.

That's what a father loves to hear.

-You must want something from me. -No.

Maybe my sister will tell me why you're being so sweet.

LOVING CURAÇAO

My baby sister.

Hey, baby brother.

-You keep surprising me. -Why?

Most dads don't want their pretty daughter working.

I do.

Good, because they hired me.

Good, baby. Well done. Hey.

-Where exactly? -I'm a waitress at Hotel Felicidad.

Hotel Felicidad? No way. No.

-Why not? -You're 14 years old.

You're not an exotic attraction for all the tourists.

Find a real job.

Did you hear what I said?

-Men can't be trusted. -Dad, not all men are like you.

Bull's-eye.

Your column was the most read article this week.

-We have to learn we're not... -Half of a couple.

"I'm not running a hotel."

-Very funny. -Yes, I write about my experiences.

So I'm setting up a budget for your project.

For Curaçao?

You'll go undercover on a singles' trip.

Let me be clear. I'm not planning to sleep with a pathetic loser

-to write an interesting column. -As long as you write about him.

-Then I want to be a regular columnist. -Let's just see how this pans out.

Baby, I was thinking...

Maybe we should discuss how we're going to tell her.

Let's finish this. It's a birthday present.

-Whose birthday is it? -A very sweet fan's

who's paying a lot of money to hear my opinion about fruit and vegetables.

-Because? He's writing about gardens? -Don't be jealous.

Those fans won't see what's meant for your eyes only.

Just take the eggplant.

Alright.

It's not impossible.

Okay, Louella.

Come on.

Luckily you're a good cook.

Let me help you.

Stop being such a macho brother. Thank you.

Forget it.

-Louella. -Auntie?

-What happened, Auntie? -I tripped over an iguana.

-How is the iguana doing? -It's resting in peace.

You said your mom is single.

-I am. Almost my entire life. -So what is that?

What do you mean?

Get out of there.

It's a sweet, wanted baby.

-Contrary to the father. -Ozzie, what are you saying?

Auntie. Watch it. No...

Ozzie, you should be a good brother and lend your sister some money,

so she can renovate this and turn it into a nice restaurant.

-Just convince her. I offered her money. -It'll make him even more arrogant.

Why I'm here, baby...

Look...

Could you take over the singles' tour, temporarily?

It's a bus tour to match desperate singles.

-That's not my thing. -How do you mean?

You're a single pregnant woman. And you could use the money.

-She's right. -Alright, I'll do it.

So you do want her money?

-Are there any nice guys joining the trip? -No, listen.

You can't eat from your own kitchen.

I won't have that.

500 FOR A SEXY PIC WITH A PEACH

Bokito? You have a fan who calls himself Bokito?

Oh, wow. And he's bidding 1,000 euros for me to go naked with a peach.

Maybe I can raise it to 2K.

-You weren't doing nude pictures. -I'm not, Squirtle.

Lars, come join us.

Over here.

-Who's with whom? -Boys against girls.

-Lars. -That's not fair.

Lars.

-I'll join the girls. -Lars, don't be such a child.

Your mom is waiting.

You're all tucked in nicely.

-Who is she talking to? -To her tomatoes.

-That creates a sense of connection. -So sad. Is she that lonely?

She calls herself autonomous. Independent.

So, lonely. Let's make her happy with our good news.

You keep on growing, babies. That's good.

-Hello. -Hi. What a beautiful bouquet.

Thank you.

Oh, you're here too.

Here you go, Mom.

Alright...

Coffee?

Lars wants to tell you something.

Yes. Well... Bella and I... We...

No. Is she pregnant?

-Pregnant? -No.

-Good. -No, we're getting married.

Oh, okay... That's so last century.

Yeah, we're very much on cloud nine.

Especially because we're moving to Spain after...

-Slow down. No need to rush. -Spain?

-Si, olé. -Coffee.

Spain.

You can't take your dad's place. She's got to find someone herself.

Yeah... She doesn't want that.

Of course she does. She just thinks she's old and ugly,

-but she's not that bad. -Okay.

Please, just don't talk about...

Alright. But I've got the solution for you. For her.

I booked a trip on a whim.

-A singles' trip? She'll never go. -Of course she will.

-She won't. -Wanna bet?

Lars, could you help me?

-Now. -Sure.

Just think about it.

You're so young.

I love this woman, Mom.

Dear Mommy Merel, because you never allow yourself anything

and you're just getting lonely among the plants,

we're sending you on a week-long trip

to Curaçao.

That far? All alone? No.

You're going, because I already booked.

-You went backpacking through Asia. -Over 30 years ago, with my husband.

You'll go with a man this time as well. Because you'll join her, Squirtle.

Me? On this trip?

-Squirtle? -Yes, it's that blue Pokémon.

-I know which one it is. -That cute one, with the fluffy tail.

Shouldn't she go by herself?

Sure, but I'll have you for the rest of my life.

It would be egotistical of me not to grant you this last week together.

I can't. I have my plants.

-I knew you were going to say that. -Yes.

I'll take care of them. I have a knack for fruit and vegetables.

-I'll go. -She's going.

A week together with my son.

It can only lead to good things.

Enjoy yourselves. Welcome to Curaçao.

Relax.

I'm sorry, I'm looking for Lovelines Tours.

-And the love of my life. -You've found it.

Welcome to dushi Curaçao. I'll be your tour guide for the next few days.

Thank you. Now I see it: Lovelines Single Tours. Great.

Alright, dushi. What is your name?

I'm Herbert, but I'll respond to dushi.

Is there a warranty on this trip?

-A warranty? On love? -Yes.

No, but the sun is shining.

your blood will get thinner because of the heat,

so you'll find love more easily.

Do you really think it will only take a week?

That's what I often say.

Love isn't only a chapter. It's an entire book.

Right. Let's start with the first chapter.

-Nice, isn't it? -Is that ours?

I think it's that one.

You'll go and get something to eat. I'll sort this.

-Oh, nice. Do you want anything? -No. You go.

Alright.

-Welcome. Enjoy. -Thank you.

-Hi. -Hi.

Merel and Lars de Groot.

Merel... Oh yeah. Mother and son. Both single.

Yes, but my mother doesn't know.

That you're single or that she's single?

That this is a singles' trip.

I'm not single. Just make a note of that.

But she is. You don't get them more single.

-What do you mean, she doesn't know? -She never would have come.

What?

Mothers always know everything.

You maybe. But she doesn't have a clue.

I just don't want her to be alone.

My dad died a while ago.

And I think she doesn't believe in love anymore.

You must love your mother very much. That's nice.

-Could you take that into account? -Don't worry.

-But you're going to tell her. -I will. Definitely.

-Alright. -Can I ask you something?

Yes. What is your name?

This is so old-fashioned. Way too stigmatizing. Singles.

-I'm sorry, my son is sitting here. -It's okay.

I'll just sit here.

Welcome.

Hi.

-Herbert. -Hi, Herbert. I'm Merel.

-Great, a trip with your son. -It is.

-You've got nice eyes. -Thank you.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

-Yes, very much so. -You do?

No, of course not. I'm sorry.

Funny too. What a wonderful woman.

We've got lots of time to get to know each other.

I hope you'll enjoy your trip, Herbert.

I think I will, Merel.

Welcome, everyone. To Hotel Felicidad.

Ozzie.

-Hey, man. How are you? -Everything alright? Follow me.

-Yes, 17. -That won't be a problem.

Dushi, look no further. I already found her.

Alright, I'd like my tip now, please.

-Tip? -Yeah, money.

You getting married is one thing.

But Spain?

I was looking forward to having a regular babysitting day.

Yeah... About that...

That's not going to happen.

I could move to Spain as well.

No. Bella... We...

I've decided to get a vasectomy.

-I'm sorry? What? -The snip. Sterilization.

I know what it is. Castration.

And that's for cats. So that they won't poop in your garden as much.

It's not for my son.

You're cutting off my potential grandchildren.

Bella says...

Bella and I think there's enough people in the world now.

In this day and age. Everywhere.

You love kids.

You wanted to be a teacher. Why didn't you pursue that?

-Bella thought it was boring. -What do you see in her?

What's not to see? She's a postmodern feminist.

And I respect her and her body.

I don't see that with her. That she respects your body.

If I ever change my mind, I can undo the procedure.

So then why do it?

Do you know if you can still ejaculate after that?

Mom... Keep it down.

You're as romantic as your father, I can tell you that.

He asked me to marry him after dating for just a month.

Can I tell you something?

She asked me.

Of course. A postmodern feminist.

Hotel guests from New York are interested in your art.

Good.

What can I help you with?

They all look so young.

That's right. It's like a restaurant where I'm not allowed to eat.

But I can look, right?

-I'm joining Dad on his Friday drinks. -That's my daughter.

-Seriously? -Could I serve at the stage?

I'll help you.

Could her shorts be a bit longer?

This is our hotel.

365 rooms on the right. Here's the bar.

You can order with the bartender.

Hello.

Your customers are over there, on the beach.

-What are you doing here? -Sir.

-What? -What are you doing here, sir?

-I'm higher in rank. -You're just trying to frustrate me.

-Miss? -What is it?

For you.

-I'm not wearing these. -You're working wearing these,

or you'll lose your job.

Gross.

Yuck.

-What a beautiful girl. -Who?

She was on the bus with us. Hello.

-Hi. -Mom.

Can I ask you something?

-Hi, Malti. -Hi, Malti. I'm Merel.

This is Lars, my son.

I don't want you to think he likes older women.

-Are you going to the welcome meeting? -The meat market.

Yes, the meeting for the organized trip.

-We're making couples for scuba diving. -Okay.

Good for you you're still up for this.

There's no age limit for a welcome meeting, right?

-There isn't, is there? -No, but it shows you're still hopeful.

Has it been long since you were in a relationship?

-That's very personal. -Very personal.

-But on a singles'... -Hey.

-A troupial, look. -A what?

A troupial. It's the symbol of Curaçao.

Yes, holidays... They're always so nice and hopeful.

-All you want is to see beautiful things. -Beautiful things?

That's one way to put it.

-For me, at least. -Interesting.

Alright. She's a nice girl.

-Could you just not. -Do you think she wants kids?

Ozzie? What are you doing here?

Your fault.

-Hi. -Look.

You go ahead and find a spot.

I'll join you in a bit.

-Does she know yet? -Not yet.

I want to keep it that way for a bit. I'm sorry.

Thank you.

What should I say instead of "single", then?

Why?

I know it sounds weird, but I'm trying to help someone.

If they want your help.

-Help them then. -Stop. Just stop it.

Alright. Welcome.

Dear autonomous people.

This week we'll all dive deep,

-which might be a bit scary. -What is this?

But if you're open to the great wide open,

you might even find a treasure all the way on the bottom.

Why is Auntie Louella talking about water so much?

Just let her. She can be weird sometimes.

This is also the island of airbeds.

Happily floating around, so someone can support you.

And no beach towels.

You're just there so that someone can land on you.

-Alright, let's introduce ourselves. -I think this is very weird.

-I think it's poetic. -Poetic?

Alright, the gentlemen can pick their partner.

-Yes. -Scuba diving partner.

-You know? Like a snorkeling buddy. -Oh no, snorkeling.

Just let the shoe decide.

-Madam, your slipper. -Hi.

-Yes, that's mine. -Yes.

Tell me something about yourself.

Where do you live? I live in Groningen.

But I wouldn't mind moving for love.

If it saves an hour of travelling, I'm good with that.

Then you'll be together longer. It would be a great idea, us both moving.

I've always wanted kids.

-I heard that bond is very special. -Yes, it is.

But what I'd love most, is to share a home with someone I love.

And to do everything together. Doing jobs around the house.

I find it hard to sit still. I like doing that.

And I'd like to have a boat, maybe. So doing a bit of sanding and fishing.

I can't be your snorkeling buddy.

Lars.

What's with those people being weirdly friendly?

You just haven't been on holiday for a long time.

-Did you find anyone to your liking? -It's not what I'm here for.

-Why are you here, then? -It's my son's idea.

Or his girlfriend's.

I would have been fine with watching SpongeBob all night.

But they wanted me to go on a trip.

It gives me time to make sure he doesn't marry that awful woman.

What's so awful about her?

She doesn't want kids, and that's why he...

Oh, that's terrible.

-I get why you worry about your son. -Exactly.

Quartet. I'm going to bed. Thank you.

Obie?

Obie?

Could I ask you

in which room this beautiful woman who's just left is staying?

You could, but I'm not telling.

But you're a lovely lady as well.

Wait a minute. Guys...

I'm suddenly feeling the jet lag.

In the Netherlands it's night. What was I doing?

Oh, Merel. I have to go after her.

Funny man. He's not giving up.

Good taste in women, as well.

Hands off for us. No eating from our own kitchen.

But you can't get more pregnant.

No, my purse.

Goddamnit.

Jesus.

2113, 2113.

-Lars? -Yes.

-Key. -Key?

-Wow. -What?

What?

-Are you one of mine? -Bella doesn't like a mess.

-Shall I get a new key? -You know what, I'll just sleep here.

-Sure, just get undressed, why don't you. -Don't be such a prude. Give me a shirt.

-Herbert was very much into you. -Yes.

He's probably a weird guy.

But not as much as Malti liked you.

It's quite a coincidence to bump into a nice guy here.

-Mom... -Don't be like that.

You've become such a whiner.

Okay, the coast is clear.

Don't.

Right.

So...

-What are you looking for in a man? -What kind of question is that?

It's not like I'm looking for a new man.

Okay, but Dad wouldn't want you to spend your life alone.

It's not about Dad. I'm just not looking for a relationship.

I've got you and I've got my life.

Imagine...

Imagine that I meet someone...

-A nice guy. Funny. -Funny.

-Is that important? -Yeah. A good sense of humor.

That got me through so many tough times.

Look at you. Everything is so dreary.

But I'm your son. I don't have to be funny.

No, that's clear.

Is this about Bella?

No, Bella is funny.

-Bella, blah, blah... -Mom.

Classic.

Are you taking this table?

Sure. Would you check on table seven?

-Bye. -Is that what I think it is?

It's not for guests.

Are you sure?

Hey...

-Are you a child of Curaçao? -Yes. My dad's side.

-What gave it away? -The ice-cream.

-You know exactly how to eat it. -My grandma used to make this for us.

-But you don't speak Papiamentu? -A little.

No worries. Speak to me in Papiamentu.

No, it's embarrassing.

Clear.

Really? That young?

-Oh, no. This is my daughter. -Oh, sorry.

-See you tomorrow. -See you tomorrow.

So, Mr. Bartender,

wat do you recommend on this island?

I don't really fancy anyone that quickly.

That'll be tricky then. To find love within a week.

Can I tell you a secret?

I'm not here to find someone.

-Why are you here then? -I'm not telling you.

Everyone knows you can't trust a waiter.

Bull's-eye.

Can I tell you a secret?

I'm not a waiter.

-Aren't you? -Yes. I'm serious.

I'm undercover.

-Do you like it? -Very much so.

Thanks. It was a lot of work.

So this is what you do when you're not working undercover as a bartender.

Alright.

I'd love to be painted like that.

Well,

I can do that.

How many women a week do you paint?

He's going to be eating from his own kitchen.

What?

-Nothing. What are you doing? -I'm sleeping.

Sleeping together isn't really my thing.

Good night, bartender.

Check your bag. The side pocket.

Connect it to your phone.

Touch it.

It's Easter.

My bunny hid the egg.

And now I'll have to find it.

Give me some hints and make my egg vibrate, Squirtle.

-Do we need to do that now? -Yes. I miss you.

This way, we can be together. Come on.

-It's not a good time. My mom... -It's always your mom.

I just want you to make my egg vibrate. I want sex.

Okay.

But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks?

It's the east.

And Merel is the sun.

I feel you. Do you feel me too?

You're making me so wet.

You should feel it.

Have you got it?

-You have no idea. -Is it getting up?

-Oh yeah... -Come up and appear.

...fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

who is already sick and pale with grief.

-What are you doing? -I'm Romeo.

-Romeo? -Shakespeare's.

I'm going to surprise your mom.

Are you joining me, Lars. Do you think I'm hot?

Oh, yes. Oh, you're so hot, babe.

-Lars. -Merel?

-Lars, close the door, it's hot in here. -Just go to sleep, Mom.

Do it harder.

Push the little cross.

Hold me.

Not that button.

-I can't hold it anymore. -Me neither, Squirtle.

Me neither.

Mom, stop pushing.

It's happening, Lars.

I had an orgasm, babe.

Are you having fun?

It's not what you think.

-I was just watching porn. -The both of you?

-Yes. -No.

Alright...

I thought I was open-minded, but... Respect.

-What does your mom love for breakfast? -I don't know. A cheese sandwich?

A cheese sandwich... Alright.

-If there are any questions... -Good morning.

I have something for you. I made them especially for you.

-Lars said you loved these. -What?

That you loved cheese sandwiches for breakfast.

Lars.

Lars, why would you tell Herbert what I like for breakfast?

Is that private?

You shouted Bella wants me to snip my goods, for everyone to hear.

-Is that such a good idea? -Thanks.

Lars just wanted to help.

Or let me put it this way: he wanted to help love.

-What love? -The love we all crave.

That's why we booked this trip.

Herbert, where did you get those sandwiches?

At the supermarket.

I only visit places where they have normal food.

-So Texel, Vlieland and Curaçao. -One second.

-Mom... -I don't want to hear it.

-Herbert. -Yes, Merel?

What did you mean by "this trip"?

Lovelines. The singles' tour.

Look at me.

-Is this a singles' trip? -A singles' trip?

Answer me.

-Is this a singles' trip? -Yes.

You're a thorn in my side.

-I'm sorry, okay. It was Bella's idea. -Of course it was.

She means well. She doesn't want you to be lonely.

If you have kids and I can babysit them, I won't be lonely.

Mom, wait. We could skip the tour. We could spend some time together.

I love you, but you're the last person I'd want to spend time with, now.

No, too late.

If you could choose... Alive or death...

Who would you go on a far-away trip with?

Could we do this later? I'm feeling a bit rough.

Do you still have those sandwiches?

How long have you been single?

-That's not important, is it? -So you're still in a relationship.

No. Why would I have come here, then?

Who would go on a singles' trip when they're in a relationship?

It's Easter and my bunny hid the egg.

Alright, people. Let's go.

A coconut. Nice.

-Are you coming? -Yes.

-The view is supposed to be magnificent. -I'll be right there.

Me neither, Squirtle.

-Here. -Thanks.

It costs a bit, but it's worth it.

She's like a pornstar.

Yeah, times have changed.

It's different from when you were young.

-I don't doubt she's good in the sack. -It's not about the sex.

Fine. Live with her. Party with her. But marry her?

-Why do you even want to get married? -I love her.

-She wants to snip your vas deferens. -She doesn't want to use hormones.

Men should take their responsibility too.

I know. Your body is less important. I get it.

When it's about her, you're turning everything around.

You don't like her, and that's fine. But I love her. Okay?

Deal with it.

She wants to cut my penis.

-Your penis? -Who do you think made it?

That you have it on you, doesn't mean that it's yours alone.

I made it in my belly.

-You're crazy. -Probably.

Honey, of course it's up to you, but love isn't a sex toy with a remote.

What do you know?

What is that? That your generation thinks we haven't gone through any hardships.

I'd love to have a holiday romance.

Kissing in the sun. I'd love that.

What's keeping you? He wants you.

Herbert doesn't want a holiday romance.

He wants someone permanent.

-Here. Look. -No, Herbert. Get a life.

She doesn't want my nuts.

Do you want one?

Well...

Do you love gardening too? I have to take care of these plants.

-Hey, babe. Enjoying the weather? -Shall I show you something?

-I wanted to talk to you about that. -Oh, my Squirtle wants his little Pikachu.

No, my mom...

We both saw the video with the vibrating egg.

-Yeah, I got so many views already. -Yeah, but...

It was a private moment, between us.

You and me. I thought we had an agreement.

No, but that's why I've thought of something for our wedding.

-Don't you think... -You won't believe it,

but 1,500 people have signed up for the wedding night already.

-The wedding night? -Yes.

They can watch for 1,000 euros per person. We are going to make serious cash.

-I don't want that. -Of course you do.

Oh, wait. Bokito is texting me. I'm sorry, I have to go.

Talk to you later, babe. Bye-bye.

Nice.

If it were finished, it would be, yes.

-I really think... -Oh no, not the railing.

This is really very dangerous.

If someone falls here, they'll break their neck.

Can't your husband fix this?

-I don't have a husband. -But you're pregnant.

-Are you saying I'm fat? -No.

Are you fat shaming me?

-No. -Just kidding.

He asked for directions and I was helpful.

Maybe a bit too helpful.

He wasn't a keeper, but this one is.

I could...

Sure.

-Hi, Mom. -Hello, baby.

I brought some fish. Sea bream and salted cod.

Nice.

He's not expecting anything in return, is he?

Don't be crazy.

-I'm pregnant. -Mom, seriously...

He is your type.

Here, taste it.

I'll wait for a bit. We could chat some more, first?

I'm planning on doing things differently. Working less, especially.

Meeting a nice woman, maybe with kids.

And just do nice things together.

Why does everything have to be nice with you guys?

"How are you doing?" "Nice." "How was your dinner?" "Nice."

"Shall we have a drink?" "Nice."

But dushi... With you everything often is dushi.

"Oh, pretty dushi, you're wearing such a dushi dress, dushi."

Right? Dushi.

Alright.

Here we go.

The taste of the island.

Or are you the type who sneakily gets a croquette from the machine?

I'm not. How highly do you think of me, dushi?

Here you go.

Alright.

Taste it?

Yes.

Good.

This is actually pretty good. It tastes like fish and chips.

Very dushi.

Do you know what I'll make next time? Iguana soup.

That's good for your potency.

Thank you.

-A rosé, please. -Of course.

-Here you go. -Thank you.

That's not good.

-Dad, two Piña Colada. -How old is that boy? That man?

Dad, relax.

If I see you talking to him again, you're out of here.

-You're just like mom. -I mean it. No fooling around.

No fooling around.

-Good afternoon. Hi. -Oh, hi.

I wanted to talk to you about yesterday.

I really didn't know this was a singles' trip. Is.

My son thought it was a good idea to bring me,

-but this really isn't for me. -I thought as much.

I'll be right there.

-I'm not here. -Alright.

Well, thank you for not being here.

-Look ahead and lie on your back. -Oh, wow. Is this a bad porn movie?

I just wanted to lie next to you. Talk about kids.

I was thinking about your son.

I thought: maybe he just thinks that you're lonely.

But I'm not lonely.

I've been together with someone for 27 years.

I'm not looking for the next.

-I'm sorry, what are we doing? -Do you see my daughter, over there?

Hi.

-No, don't wave. You don't know her. -I'm sorry.

It's okay.

-I have to keep an eye on her. -Okay.

-Because you don't trust her. -I do.

Was it a nasty divorce?

No.

He got ill and...

Oh well...

-I'm sorry. -Thanks.

It's been a few years. It's not that raw, anymore.

She's coming.

-Hi -Hi.

Hi. You just waved.

-Because you look so beautiful. -Oh, thanks.

-Are you with the group? -Unfortunately, yes.

-Did you find someone? -I'm not looking.

-You're not looking. -No.

If I could give you some advice... Love is about communicating and investing.

-Who says that? -All Ex on the Beach contestants.

And what about that handsome boy?

Him? I've got plans with him.

He makes music, but my dad won't let me see him.

Ah, dads... What do they know about women?

They should trust you and give you freedom, right?

I think so too. Would you like to order something?

No, just enjoy yourself. And good luck with that handsome boy.

Bye.

Yeah, man. Come and have a look.

Good luck with that handsome boy?

Do you want a towel?

-And another energy drink. -Energy drink.

-Here you go. -Thank you.

Wow, an overdose.

I need energy, because I'm going salsa dancing.

-Here you go. -Iguana soup?

-Good for your potency. -Let's skip the erections.

I really need to focus on the dancing.

Just do it.

You turn down the perfect guy just to annoy me.

I don't want a perfect guy.

Hey. You say "perfect guy" and here's Herbert.

Can I swirl your mom around on the dancefloor?

Sure.

I hate you.

Yeah, I'll make sure she doesn't fall.

He's dancing, but I don't see him having any fun.

And I don't see any dancing.

It's nothing.

We have to do something.

Good luck.

Do you know salsa?

Yes.

Of course.

-You don't believe me, do you? -No.

I have to get the hang of it.

Thank you.

Anita.

Do you want to go to her?

I should trust her and give her some freedom.

Shall I show you part of the island?

Great. Is your daughter showing us the route?

You got me. Is that bad?

No. Lars was always too much of a goody two-shoes.

-I've always wanted to do a teen chase. -Alright.

So what's Fuik?

-Don't you want to let go? -When I was younger, maybe.

Not anymore? Tell me.

I've been in love, I've been engaged and I've been married.

I used to be a womanizer.

That's a pity.

-Why? -Just because.

I would have wanted to be womanized.

That sounded really weird. I heard that too.

-I didn't say anything. Forget it. -No, wait.

How do I put this?

Ah, you're cute, okay? You're gorgeous.

I just promised someone to be a gentleman.

No eating from your own kitchen, and all.

Too bad. For you.

Wow.

-See you later. -Yes.

What do you like doing on the beach?

What do I like doing on the beach?

My mom thinks that there is only one true, all-encompassing love.

Do you believe that too?

My parents met in high school.

My dad literally fell.

He fell off his bike, right before my mom. Really.

And they stayed together until he died.

Wow.

-But were they happy? -It looked like it.

And do you see someone here that makes you want to fall of your bike?

Someone for you?

Oh, shit.

Our tower.

You hold it, I'll fortify it.

-A bit more here. -Like this?

There you are.

Am I interrupting?

-No, you're not. -No.

Oh, good.

I have two tickets for Booze Cruise. Will you join me?

-Have a good night. -Bye.

-I'll get you a key. -See you tomorrow.

Okay, bye.

Bye.

-Wanna play a game? -I thought you'd never ask.

-What's the word again? -I won.

Very good.

-Not bad for a woman. -For a woman?

Here, the game is being dominated by men.

That mural was yours too, wasn't it?

You're very talented.

Let's take it easy.

Lie still.

Don't move.

Dushi. Hi.

I'm not really getting anywhere with Merel. Do you have some love tips for me?

I don't think I'm the right person to give you love tips.

Well...

Do you know what helps? Looking.

If someone looks you in the eyes for three minutes, without saying anything,

-you'll fall in love. -Okay, good tip.

-What are you doing? -I'm starting now.

-Don't be crazy. -I have to practice.

Okay. I'll help.

-Do I need to wear anything special? -No, this is perfect.

Hi, Mom.

I have a present for you. From my colleagues.

I'll be back later.

-This is very intense. -I think this is going to work.

Great tip. You're the best tour guide ever.

I'm going to give you a lot of stars in the online review.

-But now you have to help me out. -Of course.

Here it goes.

Hello.

Good morning.

Nice.

Let's go on the boat.

We have to go to the left.

-Right. Left. I'm sorry. -Did we bring vodka?

That's really vital. We can't go without it.

Get on the boat.

I know how to sail. Yes, get on.

Who can't command a boat, ends up in the gutter.

Are you coming too?

Guys, Fuik in sight.

Oh, shit.

Malti.

-Malti. -I'm sorry.

Can I borrow this?

You're here too.

Taste. It's very delicious.

-Why are you in such a hurry? -She's with that singer. Idiot.

-Have you never been in love? -When I was 25? Absolutely.

But not with 14 year old girls.

Is there room for me?

Come on. Is there any liquor?

Are you all switching? Are you leaving?

Guys? Hello, guys?

You can't leave me here. Guys, come back.

Come back.

Julian.

-Thank you for not leaving me. -No problem.

How will we get back?

-I thought you knew how to sail. -No.

She won't leave the house in the next ten years.

How do you mean?

She's grounded, just like when we were young.

Come on.

Hey. Idiot.

Asshole. Stop this nonsense.

-Leave me alone. -Dad, what are you doing?

Tiffany, there's a ten-year age gap.

-It's over. -What?

Whatever you're doing. Do you think I'm stupid?

Stay there.

I wrote a song text. Maybe Julian can compose some music.

-Nonsense. -Nonsense? Just read it.

-Read it? -Yes.

I believe in love, but you're still far But in my dream, there you'll be

In F minor.

-F minor? -Yes.

F?

Okay. Let's hear it.

Julian, could you play?

Do you think I'm a bad dad?

Someone said: "A child is like an open wound. It always hurts."

You love her, so I get it.

You're still far.

You're still far

-But in my dream, there you'll be. -But in my dream, there you'll be

Come here.

Pick an anchor point and sail towards it.

That was surprising.

-It was awesome. -Yes.

-No one can know we're doing this. -What?

My sister wouldn't allow it. You're her guest.

-Oh... Is it a secret date? -Yes.

That's a first.

-I'm really leaving now. -Okay.

I really am.

No.

"Tonight at seven. Wear something nice."

This way.

What? Him?

Little Merel, you make me such a happy guy.

Of course. Who else? He's nice.

Well, I'll get out of your hair. Enjoy.

Your eyes, your hair, your beautiful appearance.

I hope to enjoy you longer, without an abrupt disappearance.

Come, baby. Go with me, so I can show you I'm the man for you.

We have to look into each other's eyes for three minutes, without talking.

-You won't know what hits you. -Herbert?

Could you please stop? I'm not ready for this.

Alright. I'm a patient man.

-For how long? -Just stop.

-What? Sorry? What have you got? -What do you think?

-Two sixes. -What have you got? Go on.

Come on.

-Hi. -What will it be?

A mango ice-cream with sprinkles.

Stop.

-Merel? -Not now, Herbert.

I heard you. It's okay.

I'm not here.

I'm not pushy. We're just friends, aren't we?

Why is everything so complicated?

It doesn't have to be.

Sometimes I think: how many summers will I have? Ten? Maybe fifteen?

It would be a shame not to share them with someone.

Stop it. We'll have at least 30.

Can I show you something?

It's very special.

-Is this allowed? -Of course.

The lionfish has no natural predators.

So we're allowed to hunt it.

-And if it goes wrong? -I'm here, Merel.

I got it.

Oh, man. A bit stupid.

I'm so happy you came. That you were brave enough.

I had prepared everything for tonight. It's the last day.

-Shall we snorkel some more? -Yeah, let's do it.

What's this?

Are you writing about these kinds of things?

I want to write a novel, but it isn't very lucrative.

So until then, I'll write about these things.

-So... -Yes.

I'll be in your article too.

I write about my experiences and things that I see.

Like?

This. People who are scared to be alone.

Why? Why not something hopeful?

You must have been in love.

I just stopped hoping to avoid disappointment.

Emily Dickinson says hope is the only thing that never asks for anything.

Do you know her? It's the ending of one of her poems.

It's about always staying hopeful, because it won't cost you a thing.

Hope is the thing with feathers.

Because it flies away.

I didn't take you for someone who knows poetry.

I always wanted to become a teacher.

-Really? -Yes.

But I quit, because...

Because...

I'm not single. I have a girlfriend back home. She's my fiancée.

So we should stop this.

Lars.

Lars.

You have a girlfriend back home.

I could get a regular column if I write a good article about this.

I don't even have to know her name. And...

I'll change your name in my story. Okay?

-Leo. -Leo?

-Leffi? -Wait. That's not even a name.

-Levi. I don't know. -Not with an L. People will know.

-Okay, that's true. -How would you describe me?

As a guy who wants sprinkles on his mango ice-cream.

Good one.

As a boy with big dreams.

A preacher of that one true love.

But who secretly cheats.

Or maybe he discovers that one true love exists,

but that it's not the person he expected it to be.

-Don't. -Her name is Bella.

Sounds a bit like a stage name.

It is.

-Hey. -I've just been working out.

I ran six miles.

I'm sweaty, but I don't mind.

As long as I look good for our wedding night.

Can we just not talk about the wedding night?

I saw the picture.

-Online. With that guy. -You mean Shoesize 10?

He's a good client of mine.

-What does he want? -Foot fetish.

-2,000 euros. -For a foot?

It's just a foot.

And that foot was only thinking about you.

-Who's there? -My mother.

Did I wake you?

-Hi, Merel. -Hello, Bella.

How's the weather in the Netherlands?

She's just leaving. Getting coffee.

I want you right now.

Do you want to lick the sweat off me?

I think we have a bad connection.

I'll call you back later, alright?

Bye.

-SpongeBob, how are you? -Patrick, watch out. Banana peel. No.

When I saw Herbert with his cheese sandwiches,

-I knew it was never going to work. -I like cheese. Don't get me wrong.

Mom...

-Thanks. -For what?

For my penis and the rest.

But can we agree that from now on it's only mine?

And that you'll never say such things again?

Lars.

Surprise.

Hey, baby.

Bella is here.

Hi, Bella.

-Hi, Mom. -Hello.

I'm just calling you Mom. Merel sounds so official.

This song was written by a very talented lady.

A round of applause for Tiffany.

-Hi, Merel. I brought you a drink. -That's sweet. But I have to... I'm sorry.

-Hey. -Thank you. Really.

Would you get me a Pornstar Martini?

Hi.

So that's her? Your doll?

Yup.

And you think you'll ever have her all to yourself?

Sure.

You're not mad, are you?

I told you the truth.

Yeah... It was just sex.

Yeah, exactly.

Holiday... It didn't mean anything.

Get your hands off of him, you whore.

What?

Are you calling me a whore while you're flashing your tits to Shoesize 10?

Stop it. Bella.

-What? -Oh my God.

-What are you doing? Relax. -It's none of your business.

I thought you never liked anyone.

As if you don't put it in everything that moves, saying:

Don't tell my sister. It's a secret.

-As if you don't have secrets. -Alright.

My secret is that I'm undercover writing an article about sex, dating

and hopeless, lonely people on a singles' trip.

Are you happy now?

Oh my God.

Ozzie, what was the agreement with Auntie? No eating from your own kitchen.

And what do you do? You even lick two plates clean.

You don't know anything about it. Stop judging.

It was a very educational trip. I wish you lots of luck in marriage.

-Malti... -Squirtle. Here.

-Want a drink? Water? -Yes, please.

Can I talk to you? Just for a moment.

This is different, okay?

-Ozzie... -Wait.

The past days and nights were awesome.

-That's what I'm trying to explain. -No, Herbert.

What?

Did you...

-I thought you weren't ready. -I'm sorry.

I'm confused too.

-I'm sorry... -Yeah, but...

-Merel... -No, Herbert. There's no spark.

Merel.

Herbert.

Shit.

He's a beautiful person.

He was sweet, tender,

attentive, funny.

This one, that one or that one? Which one do you think is hot?

Okay, I'll choose, then.

-I forgive you. -For what?

Everyone gets to make a mistake.

It actually turns me on.

You and another woman.

Hey. Did someone die?

When I woke up, I instantly knew.

You're not a chapter. You're the prologue.

You're the epilogue. That's the afterword.

And you're the blurb.

Louella, would you be my little book?

Apparently, being single is so awful, you need to travel to a tropical island,

to meet the so-called love of your life.

I joined Louella's Lovelines tour,

and hoped it would be different from the swiping on apps.

"Apparently, being single is so awful..."

"...you need to travel to a tropical island..."

"...to meet the so-called love of your life."

Did you see what she wrote?

"These miserable souls have a long-term relationship with disappointment.

Desperate women, horny men. It's kind of like my fridge:

Half empty and what's in it is past its expiration date.

I met a horn-dog who's on display even though the store has long been closed.

A desperado with more ink under her skin than self-respect.

A surfer with whom even a houseplant isn't safe.

And a blonde whose net always comes up empty, even on a boat."

And now it's getting really good. My favorite:

"A son who is unable to let his mother live her own life.

The umbilical cord is cut, but he'll just reconnect it himself."

Whose idea was it to bring my mother on a singles' trip?

It was your idea. Because you think you have a say in everything.

If my mom is allowed to be single.

That we should move to Spain. What I should wear.

If I'll ever have kids.

You never ask what I want.

-I don't want this. -Baby...

No. You listen to me. I want a normal life.

I don't want to sell tickets to our wedding night.

I'm sorry. Tickets? Bella, what kind of a person are you?

I'm not marrying you.

-Not today. Not... -10K.

What?

I'll give you 10K to get married, to film our wedding night,

and I'll pay all your bills till the end of time.

-What are you? -Who?

This is the deal. We'll stay together one year.

Then we'll have a tragic break-up. We'll film our break-up sex one last time.

And then you're free to go, for 100,000.

Final offer.

100,000?

To pay for your tuition.

You want to be a teacher, don't you?

I hope you enjoy your bullshit.

Won't you go after her?

She really likes you.

When you're grown up, you'll see why that doesn't work.

Chloë and Zoë, just wait there.

Just look before you cross. No cyclists? Then you can go.

You've been playing football for seven years, and you're not even ten.

-Here you go. -Ice-cream.

Here you go.

Everyone can have one scoop and I need someone to take the order.

Berend, you can ask everyone what they want.

-When you're done, you can... -Here you go.

Thanks.

Are you writing an article on the dangers of sugar?

I could have, but no. I'm working here.

While I work on my novel.

Awesome.

How is your fiancée?

She's married.

But not to me.

-That was quick. -The wedding night was on offer.

I don't get it.

-Do you still want mango with sprinkles? -Yes, sprinkles...

And a bit of hope.

I shouldn't be this stubborn.

Alright.

I'll take the loan, but I'll pay you back every penny.

Of course.

It'll be alright.

Don't worry.

Let me do it. I won't let an amateur screw this up.

-I'll beat you with a homerun. -I like being cheeky.

Welcome to the family, little brother.

-Do you feel something? -Yeah. Here.

Is it a little butt cheek? A little foot?

...this melody. It's a song that transports you to a different place.

Come in.

I didn't forget.

I won.

Hope is free.

That's what this poem says.

It's everywhere and always. It won't fly away.

It flies along with you.

Yes, I do.

I do too.

The sun kisses the sea

My heart goes silent

It fills me with everything I want

I breathe calmly, I breathe new life

I feel the island has given me something

Feet in the sand, the salty air and no cold

The love I feel for you

For you

In love

In love on Curaçao

In love

In love on Curaçao

Dushi, mi alma

My life is with you

In love

In love on Curaçao

Swipe left, swipe right, but nothing feels real

But what I feel now, feels sincere

Your laugh breaks the waves, time falls still

Maybe this island is exactly what I want

Feet in the sand, the salty air and no cold

The love I feel for you

For you

In love

In love on Curaçao