All language subtitles for Blue.Murder.Motel.S01E03.1080p.x264.eng

- Lovely day for it.

- You wanna say that again, mate?
- Yeah, I was just saying that
if my dog had a face like yours,

I'd shave its arse
and make it walk backwards.

Oh, hello, Constable.
- Oh, really, dickhead?
You called the cops, huh?

- Actually, this bogan
has been threatening me.
- Bullshit!

- Oh. Look at the tough guy with the
uniform holding him back.

- What on earth is happening?
Hi, I'm Teresa, the park manager.

- Well, this arsehole
threatened to smack my kids.
They're bloody terrified.

- Yeah, well, the little shits
and their endless buzzing.
They need a good smack.

- I'll smack you in a minute―
- Oh yes. You hear that?

That was a threat.
- Enough.

- will
sort all of this out, I promise.

- Yeah, you do that, while I go
and console my traumatised kids.

- Yeah, you got a lock on
your tent zipper, mate?

- Gene, you can't say
things like that.
- Oh God, Teresa.

It was just a joke.
There's no need to get hysterical.

- OK, let's all agree
this is a family holiday park.

- Look, I pay for my site, OK?
Just like the entitled arseholes
who swarm in here every Christmas.

- Can we at least
tone down the swearing?
- She's right. That's not cool, mate.

Not when there are kids around.
- Not when
there are kids around.

You know, I'm the one
who called you, Constable.
Yeah? I pay your wages.

Swanning around
on the taxpayers' coin.

- You OK, Teresa?

- Yeah. I'd be better
if his caravan rolled into
the ocean and floated away.

I didn't say that.

- What shall we do this weekend?
- Um...

I'll probably just hang out
with my husband,

because I don't know anyone else.

- Well, you know people.
- No, I mean friends.

I just...
- Yeah. Do you miss them?

- Cole, you are my favourite person.
- Hmm.

- But sometimes had
a girlfriend I could bitch about you
with when you annoyme.

- When do I annoy you?
- Oh boy.

- Hey. Fish and chips!

- Hey, Jamie.
- Hey.
- Everything all right?

- Yeah, I've just been at
the holiday park all afternoon.

- Oh. For fun, or...?
- Disagreement among
some of the campers.

- This calamari is
unbelievable.

- It's good. Eh?

- Anything serious
at the holiday park?

- It's just this time of year can
get a bit feral, but I sorted it.
It's all good.

- This looks nice. Don't you think?

- You hate camping.
- No, I don't.

- Vin, the one and
only time you went camping―

- I'm telling you, that was a snake.
- It was a blue-tongue.

- saw.
- Oop.

Does that look like
the transfer vehicle?

- Jamie said it was a vehicle fire.

- Guessing someone was in there.

- Gene Pratt.

He was 50 years old. He's been
a guest in the same caravan
every summer since he was a kid.

- Was this Gene guy involved
in the biffo you attended yesterday?

- Yup. Yeah, he was.
- Bit of a coincidence.

- Coincidence.
Yeah. Sticking with that theory.

- Until you can find anything
that suggests otherwise.
- Pretty much.

- I might, um...

- She does that.

- It doesn't look like
an electrical fire.

I did an apprenticeship
as a sparkie.

Didn't last long. Didn't love
crawling around in attics.

- Yeah, this looks more like
an explosion.

Usually you'd set the explosive
underneath.

Maybe, uh, use a remote trigger.

But this looks like
it began on the inside.

Wanna grab that?

- Looks like someone cut it.

- From the gas bottle box,
do you reckon?

- I heard he was involved
in an altercation yesterday.

- Gene was always involved
in an altercation.
- Ah.

You knew him quite well, then?

- His caravan was
a permanent fixture.

I mean, people aren't supposed
to live here, but some of them,
they just...

never leave.
- Ah.

We've got one of those. Maxine.

- You're Blue Motel.
- Yeah.

- Is it true you and your husband
never worked in tourism?

- Ah. Guilty. Yeah.

- Well, I admire your bravery.
It's a tough business.

I mean, it's hard enough...

If people find out
that there's been a death,

an exploding caravan...
- It's OK.

Someone actually died at our motel
too, so...

- Yeah, I know. That's why everyone
in town calls you Blue Murder Motel.

- Oh. Do they?

- I don't think it's, like,
vindictive. It's just,
like, a bit of a laugh.

- It's not really funny, though,
is it? I mean, Shady Vista has been
in my family since the1940s.

It's our legacy.
- Mm.

It is a beautiful spot.
- I can't imagine being
anywhere else.

Hmm.
- You must feel like that
about Blue Motel.

- Well, we thought it was going to be
like being on holiday 24-7.

- That's if you want your holiday
interrupted by people complaining

that the toilet's overflowing,
or that the tide's out.

- We had this idea of, um, holding...

rock 'n' roll nights
in our old conference room.

- With a band, or...?
- No. No, um, we...

we bought a jukebox.
- That sounds fun.

I'd come to that.
I could tell my guests.

I mean, a good party could be
what people need right now.

- will keep you posted.
- Great.

- Oh, um... you― you said
Gene was always getting into scraps?

- That young dad yesterday was
ready to kick the crap out of him.

Constable Haira would probably
want a word with him.

- Definitely.

- He didn't even return
the facilities key.

- Well, you've got
his contact details, obviously.
- Yeah, of course.

I mean, why would he have
taken off like that?

- Good question.

He could be anywhere by now.

- Bounce, ball. Bounce.
- Bounce, bounce.

- Here, Hunter. Go wide.

Here, boys! Catch it!

- All right, come on, boys.

- Oh! Whoa! Oh, oh―
- Whoa!

- I thought this was
an adults-only motel.

- There's a swing set
and a trampoline.

Oi! There is a trampoline
around the corner.

Go bounce on that.
- Oh yeah! Let's go bounce on that,
have some fun!

- You and I ―
we're gonna be friends.

- I admire your optimism.

- There she is.

My glamorous wife.
- Ha.

- Anything?
- The guy who fought
with Gene yesterday ―

he and his kids have taken off.
- That's interesting timing.

- Mm. Teresa reckons Gene, the
victim, was always starting fights.

- Who's Teresa?
- The owner here.

She seems really nice.

- She shed any light?

- She didn't notice
anything unusual last night.

She said she was about to
go to bed when ― boom.

I'll check in with her again later
anyway. Maybe even get a drink.

- Have you made a friend?
- Teresa's an industry veteran.

We could learn a lot from her.

What about you? Anything juicy?
- Nah.

Someone broke into
Gene's gas storage locker.

There was a broken padlock...
on the ground.

Hey, look at that. They got charcoal
barbies as well as the gas ones.
- Uh-huh.

- We should get a charcoal barbie.
- Oh, honey, no one's got time on
holiday to faff about with charcoal.

- That's exactly when they've got...

time.

Huh.
- What is it?

- Ah.

Bit of wax. Probably nothing.

- Or maybe something.

- A letter? Document?

- There's usually only one reason
people burn stuff like this.

- They want it to disappear.

- What happened? Is the skipper OK?

- Uh, not really. No.

- Oh my God.
- Yeah, uh, there was a gas
explosion, and he was inside.

Mm. I'm sorry.

- Oh.

Oh no. Gene.

Uh, I'm his neighbour,
Alison Northey.

- Oh, you guys were close.
- No. He was a prick.

Sorry.

I always speak with honesty.

don't like you, you'll know.

'm attracted to you, you'll know.

Relax, junior.
I'm repelled by men in uniform.

- Uh, no worries. Hey, Allison,
uh, could I just grab a few details?

- Of course ― uh, let me dump
my stuff. I'll be right back.

- Neighbour's back.
Uh, I'm gonna grab a statement.

- Someone's had a bonfire
in one of the barbecues.

Some kind of, uh... letter.
- Mm.

- Someone's, uh,
burnt something on the barbecue?

Isn't that the point?

- Um, we've gathered it up,
so you should probably take―

- Do you want to, um...

- Morning.

- There's heaps of rooms
that need servicing.

- Yes, that's literally your job.

- The old owners
never had this many guests.
- Well, we like guests, Saffron.

That's―
- Oh.

- I should be getting danger money.

- You OK?
- Loving life.

- Hey.
You guys be careful with that, OK?

- OK.
- OK.

- Everything all right there?
- Oh. 'm the owner,
Vinny Coleman.

Your boys just hit my husband
in the head with a ball.

- Ha! Classic .

Oh. Xander Curtin.

- Oh. Um...

Teresa at the holiday park's
looking for you.

Said she needed to refund
your bond or something.
- Uh, yeah.

I think she's got bigger issues. Hear
about the guy that blew himself up?

Karma's a beautiful thing .

- Wow.
- Well, he was a piece of shit.
He was threatening my kids.

- And he's dead six hours later.
- So?

- So you bailed pretty fast.
- Well, yeah. I didn't want my boys
seeing anything.

Give 'em nightmares.
Fair enough, I would've thought.

- C'mon, give me it!
- Give it here!

- Oop!

- Oh. Gotta be careful
by the pool, mate. OK?

Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Make sure your dad's with you
before you come back.

OK.
- Dad!

- Hey.
- Hey.

- So, our new guy in Unit 4 ― the
missing dad from the holiday park.

- So he took off, but not too far.
- Mm-hm.

- You know what? Let's just
leave this one to Jamie, hey?

- Well, it's funny
you should say that.

Think it's about time.
- Ah. This Saturday.

Isn't that a bit...?

You know what?
We can pull it together.

Jeez, what did our doorbell do
to whoever the hell that is?

- Hey, hey, hey. This is staff only.
- Did you put hands on my son?

Did you hit Hunter?! Don't you ever―

Aargh!

- Honey, I thought we weren't
allowed to do that to guests.

- Stop. Stop, stop. Please stop.

- You good?
- Yes!

Aargh...

You could've broken my shoulder!
- One of your kids was about to
run into the deep end of the pool.

I stopped them.
- You're welcome.

- You know, if I wanted to,
I would shut you down.

Click my fingers
and shut this whole place down.

You have no idea
who you're messing with.

- Found him.
This is who you're dealing with.

- Alexander Curtin. Expert in real
estate development, debt reduction,

and portfolio amelioration.

- In other words, property investor.
- Hmm.

- So, of all places,
this rich guy could holiday,

why stay at some holiday park?
- Yeah, or here?

Oh, it ain't Four Seasons, Vinny.
It ain't even four stars.

- Oh―

- We should probably find out
why Xander's in Mowai Bay.
- Mm.

- Oh. Hi. Welcome to Blue Motel.

Oh. Hi.
- Here we go. It's all happening.
- Won't be a second.

Can you pass― Oh, wait.
You do this one.

Sorry, guys. It's just...

- Cheers.
- Big day.
- Mm-hm.

- Mmm. Mmm.
- There's your friend.

- Oh yeah.
- She say anything
about a boyfriend?

- Nope.
- They're coming over.

- Hi, Teresa.
- You've been stealing
all my guests.

- Oh. Uh...
- Sorry, um,
I don't think we've met.

I'm Cole.
- Well, for all I know, you two set
that fire to sabotage my business.

- Um, hold on. No. We, uh―

Um...

- Sorry about that. Um...

I'm Clint.
I stay in one of Tee's caravans.

A lot of people bailed
from the park today,
so it's been pretty rough on her.

- What are we supposed to do?
Turn people away?

I was gonna invite her for
a coffee sometime, or a wine.

- You'll make friends. I promise.

Men don't understand.

You guys are like, 'Oh,
we played cricket when we were 9.

'Let's be best mates for life.'

Or, 'Oh, you've got a blue car.
I've got a blue car.

'Will you be best man
at my wedding?'

- Men don't understand

- Well, obviously I'm not
talking about you, Mr No Mates.

Oh, 'm sorry.
- It's fine .

- Anyway.
Plenty more fish in the sea, right?

- Or... in the deep fryer.

- Again? We have leftovers at home.

- Boring.

- Aw.
- Huh.

Leftovers it is.

- I'm proud of you, love.
- Aw. Thanks.

Just trying to be
the bigger person, you know?
- Mm.

Locals should work together,
not compete for guests.

- Hello.

I'm Alison.
- Uh, Pete Coleman. My wife, Vinny.

- Well, I heard you two used
to be private investigators.

Or still are?

- Uh― Something like that.

- Well, I bet you think Captain
Sook's death isn't on the level.

Am I right or what, Blue Eyes?

- She is all yours, Blue Eyes.

Hello?

- Now, I know you may have
heard stories about Gene and I.

But at the end of the day,
it was all pretty harmless.

I mean, there was the possum
incident, but no one was hurt.

Well, not badly anyway.

I mean, he deliberately sabotaged an
entire batch of candles that I was
making.

But I forgave him.

And yes, there was the dead fish
in his air conditioner,

but the old bugger had no sense of
smell, so that was a waste of time.

- No sense of smell.
- Cancer in his 20s ―

had his pituitary gland removed.

I also stole the entire
shipment of his book.

He was going bonkers.

- This book.
- Self-published memoir.

- Could I, um―

Could I get a couple of copies?

How did you go?
- She wasn't there.

I left the flowers on the counter.
Whatcha got there?

- This is Gene's
self-published memoir.

Alison had a whole box of them.

Apparently their war of
the roses was escalating.

- Oh. Plausible suspect, you think?
- Well...

- Can I help you?

- Oh. Teresa, hi. We're just, um,
coming to extend the olive branch.

- You've got a pair of bolt cutters
stashed under your desk.

- You've been snooping in my office.

- Gene's gas bottle container
was broken into.

Someone broke the lock
with a pair of bolt cutters.

- I have all sorts of tools.
There's a lot of maintenance
in my line of work.

- And a slim jim? You have one
of those in your office, too?

They're used to break into cars,
or caravans.

- And people get locked out
on a regular basis. Of course
I have a bloody slim jim.

Hey, Clint.
Can you tell these people to leave?

- Oh. Pfft. That's, um...
- It's fine. We-We're going.

- And I'd appreciate it
if you don't come back.

- Funny way of extending
the olive branch, love.
- You know I had to ask.

You also know, don't you,
that this wasn't―

- Probably wasn't
an accidental death.

- Oh, come on.
- And I just received a complaint
from Teresa about you.

- M―?
- Trespassing into her office.

- I was just dropping off
a bunch of flowers...

initially.

- Is the fish and chip shop
still out of calamari?

Well, look ―

if we keep digging without
permission, we run the risk of
making evidence inadmissible.

So we'll let you get on with it.
- Well ―

hold on. I might've found
a workaround in the handbook.

I can temporarily hire
retired officers as consultants

under, um, extenuating circumstances.

Don't we need to have
served in New Zealand?
- Didn't say.

- Does it define
extenuating circumstances?

- Nope. So I will organise
something official.

A card? Lanyards, maybe.
- Oh, you do love a lanyard.

- Well, don't celebrate just yet.
Your victim, Gene.

He had no fixed address,
no next of kin.

The closest thing he had to family
were the people at the holiday park.
And...

they all hated him,

which is super depressing
the more I think about it.

- Jamie,

we got you.

Felt like a win today.

- We got you?
- Pfft.

No.
- What?
- No. Sorry.

I didn't move to another country
to report to a junior constable

and get paid in fish and chips―
- Honey,

Jamie has been dumped here with
no one to show him the ropes. When
shit hits the fan, he needs help.

- And what,
the motel's just gonna run itself?

- Well, I feel like
we've got everything under control.

How's Gene's book?
- Uh...

A Sale of Two
Cities. From Auckland to Acapulco.

- It's a real page-turner.

- Hmm.
Well, if we wanna know who Gene was
or who wanted to kill him...

- Well, it's funny you should
say that. There's an entire chapter
about an angry seagull.

- Vin, is this, um...

Is this really what you wanna do?

Well, I know it's not exactly...

It's not exactly
where you saw yourself.

- I see myself

wherever you are.

Um...

Yeah, I wanna do this because...

if we can help, we should.

Right?

- Hey.

Hey.

We had a tough year

last year, but...

that's done.
We're still going strong.

OK?

- OK.

Mm.
- Mm.

- OK.

- Still think not enough notice.

- Well, I mentioned it
to a bunch of the new guests
from the holiday park.

They are into it.
- Hmm.

Nice spot, that Shady Vista. Almost
bought it a couple of years back.

Well, it came up for sale, and
I thought, perfect spot for me to
start a commune with allmy friends.

- What, it― it was for sale?
- Yeah.

But then I sobered up,
and I remembered that

I don't have any friends.
And no money.

And she wanted, like,
nine million for it.

- But Teresa said she'd never sell.

- Uh-huh.

- Uh― no, there is a listing here
from 2022.

Prime beachfront land.

Oi.
- Terrible reviews.

Uh ― 'other guests ―
rude, threatening.

'I'll never come back.' One star.

- 'Do not come here for a relaxing
holiday. We were harassed by a man

'who accused us of
talking too loudly.'

I'm guessing Gene.
- Mm.

And only one person
is harmed by those reviews.

- Mm.
- No wonder it's so tough for her.

- Why not just ask him to leave?

- Well, that's a question
only your ex-bestie can answer.

- Oh.

- Oh ho ho.

- Cheeky.

Neutral territory.
Since you don't want me trespassing.

Which is fair.

OK.

Just a couple of questions.

You said you'd never sell
the holiday park, but...

you listed it for sale
just a few years ago.

- Wow.

This feels like stalking.

Is Blue Motel really that quiet?

No, because you have all my guests.

That ― I was just testing the market.

- So it wasn't because of Gene?

We read the reviews. He was
scaring paying customers away.

- You know, when I met you,
I thought, 'Finally.
Someone who gets it.'

- do.
I know how important home is.

But if someone killed Gene,
don't you wanna know?

- Yes.

Because I just can't...

I can't believe that people might
not feel safe at my camping ground.

It breaks my heart, to be honest.
- Teresa, I wanna help.

Yeah, all right, then.

- Cheers.
- Ta.

- How long you been in
property development, Alexander?

- Done your homework, eh?

- Trying to.

So, um...
a death at the holiday park ―

is that the sort of thing that
reduces the value of the asset?

- OK, look, if you're gonna
keep bringing it up again―
- 'm only asking

because we just bought this motel
a few months back, and then, uh...

there was an incident.

- Honestly?

Won't help your resale value.
- Bugger.

We sank our whole retirement
into this place. You know?

- Yeah, property business, it's a...
it's a dirty game, but...

but murdering a man
for a better deal?

Now that'd take a monster.

- So you're not in town
trying to buy Shady Vista?
- Oh, nah, it's not for sale, mate.

No, I'm just trying to give the boys
a good old-fashioned holiday

that they'll always remember―

Sorry about this.
Christmas pressie, you know.

Which one of you two did this?

You want me to check the footage?
See who's lying? Huh?

- Hey ― were they using the drone
the night of the explosion?

- Well, I said to them
not to use it at night, so...

- And they do everything you say.

- Well, I haven't checked
the footage, so...

- Eh...

the quality's not great.

Stop.

There.
- Oh shit.

I can't make out whether
it's a man or a woman.

Uh, guess I gotta compile
a list of suspects.
- Mm...

might've already done that.

Xander gave us the footage.
My gut says no.

Get a weird vibe from Clint,
Teresa's mate from the park.

- Wait, you mean Calamari Clint?

- What, he gets the...
For-For the fish and chip shop?

Well, we don't want it
to be him, then.

What about, um... What about
the neighbour ― the candle lady?

You know what? Gene's caravan
would've stunk from all that gas,

and she knew Gene
had no sense of smell.

- That's the autopsy report.
You tell me what jumps out.

- Severe burns,
traces of wax and...

residue.

Candle lady.

- Go on.

You're going back in.
- Ugh.

- Oh. Don't breathalyse me, Officer.

- It's Clint, right?
- Yeah, that's the one.

Rumour is you and your wife are cops.

- In another life.
- Mm. Good call.

Not everyone thinks the sun
rises and sets with the police.

- Hey, uh,
you live at Shady Vista, right?

I'm headed there now
to see Alison Northey.

- About Gene? Good luck with that.

- Were you there
the night of the fire?

- I was out in the water ― fishing.
- For squid.

Right, mate.

Big fan.
- Yeah. Dawn and dusk
are the best time for it.

- Right.
No calamari yesterday, though.

- Nope. Bad night. Happens.

- So, uh...

you said you were out of town
the night of the fire next door.

- Unplugged spirituality retreat.
No devices allowed.

- Alison, Gene's autopsy
showed he was covered in wax.

- Well, I did give him
a candle recently.

One from my intimate range.
Would you like to see?

- Um...

Very nice.
- Thank you.

Gene thought so too.

- Weren't you, uh...
Weren't you at each other's throats?

- Look.

Love and hate both come from
the same chakra.

You know?
- Ah.

Oh.

You-You two were...?
- Yes, we were.

Twice a week.

You know,
underneath all that bluster,

Gene really was just a big,

salty teddy bear.

You don't believe me?
- No, didn't say that.

- Mm. Stay there, handsome.

Here you go.
Taken in Gene's caravan.

Uh...

- And she said
she wanted you to keep this?

- You can see the, um―
There's sailing stuff there
in the background.

- The sailing stuff is what
you're looking at .
- Yes.

- Really?
- Yes, darling.
- OK. So ―

So she says,

'Please, take this
topless photograph,'

and you just...
- You try saying no
to that woman, Vinny.

- I wouldn't.

- Oh. Uh― No.
Saffron, you can't look at that.

- You guys are.
- Well, she wanted us to.

- Anyway, what we're getting is
that Alison and Gene were lovers,

and she was away the night he died.
- Which she can't confirm because
she was at a device-free retreat.

- She said that?
And you believed her?

The only reason people go on
a device-free retreat is so
they can post about it.

- So you think you can
confirm her alibi?
- 'Course.

I might need that for reference.
- No chance.

- You can't blame a girl for trying.

- I mean, where's the father,
for goodness sake?

- I― No!
- My turn. It's my turn.

- No!
- Oh yeah ―
can I have a look at that?

- Oh.

That's interesting.

Vanessa, Maxine. Hey.
Look, I'm just at the wine bar.

It is so a wine bar.
We do not call it a pub.

Hey, look, um...

may be witnessing
a real estate deal.

- Gosh. No secrets in this town.

- So you are selling, then?

- Mr Curtin made an offer.
That's all.

- You know Xander will flatten
the park, put townhouses on it?

- Well, let's face it ― it's
probably better use of the land.

- But― I mean...

ordinary people
who can't afford five-star.

The fact that they can come and
stay here in prime position, it's...

- Yeah, get it, Vinny.
I've been living it for years.

Working my arse off so strangers
can stay by the seaside.

- Strangers are just guests
who haven't checked in yet.

- I just made that up.
- Look at you.

Still in the honeymoon phase,
you and tourism.

My heart hasn't been in it for ages.

And with Gene finally gone,
maybe it's time.

My father wouldn't have
wanted me to be unhappy.

Or to turn down $7 million.

- Xander said he wasn't here to buy.

Was that bullshit,
or did I put the idea in his head?

- And she said,
'Oh, it would break my heart
to leave my family's legacy.'

Was that all bullshit?
- Wait. Hold on. He didn't
say he wasn't here to buy.

He said Shady Vista wasn't for sale.

- So he's got Teresa
at a vulnerable moment.

- Oh. Hello, Colemans.
- Oh.

- Peter, this book is riveting.

One man, the open waters...

It's actually very erotic.
- Uh...

Is there anything in there about
a, uh, a nemesis or a mortal enemy?

- Only the sea, darling.
Only the sea.

- You asked Maxine
to read Gene's memoir?

- I delegated.

No fixed address.

- Sorry?
- Jamie said Gene
had no fixed address.

Because the nine months of the year
he wasn't in Mowai Bay,

he was―
- Living on a boat.

- You sure about
the name of Gene's boat?
- Positive.

'The Malcontent'. Wanker.

- Definitely not a fan, then.

- There.

It's had a bit of a scrape.

- Who knows?
- No one's reported anything.

- Check with the harbourmaster
and Maritime New Zealand.

- Or... find the red boat
that left the scrape.

Work backwards from there.

- So, Candle Lady
might actually be the 1%
that leaves their phone at home.

- Meaning she could've been
anywhere the night Gene died.

- Yeah. I checked her business
Insta as well ― Wick Tee's.

- Hello, Blue Motel.

Uh-huh.

Oh. Your room wasn't serviced
yesterday. I'm so sorry.

- I was busy.

- The rock 'n' roll night?
Yes. That's tonight.

- Huh?

- Definitely. Yes. There will
absolutely be drinks and nibbles.

- Huh.

Can't believe I didn't
think of drinks and nibbles.

Oh. Honey.

- I've got a problem.

- Well, don't complain to me
when you get indigestion

halfway through the bunny hop.
- Hmm.

Doesn't taste right.

Present for ya.
- Oh. Finally.

It's back.

- I know, right?
- That's frozen.

- So, who do you think might've
had the boat crash with Gene?

- Oh man.

Calamari Clint.

Hello?

Clint?

- Anything?
- Yeah, I found Clint's boat.

- Is it red?
- It's blue now.

- Uh... Righto. Thanks, mate.

- So, do we really believe that Gene
was killed over a minor boat prang?

I just...
- Oh, sorry.

Thought there was a party going on.

She accepted my offer.
- Theresa? The―
The―The holiday park?

- Yeah. know she's had a few
developers sniff around the years,
but hey, right place, righttime.

- Be right back.
- Yeah.

- Great shirt.
- Oh. Heh.

- Right place, right time...

so what's suddenly changed?

- Hmm.

Honey, can you grab
that photo for me?
- What photo?

- Boobtastic from Gene's caravan.

- Why?

- The sailing stuff
behind on the― on the pinboard.

- Hmm.

Oh yeah. There's something
red there on the pinboard.

Can't quite see
what it says, though.
- Mm.

Hmm. Blue Eyes...

you know what you have to do.

- You want a digital copy?

Well, of course, Blue Eyes.

- Oh. There it is.

- Oh.

Gotcha.

- Hello,
I'm just on my way to your party.

Don't tell me you called it off.

Oh no.
Don't tell me that nobody came.

- No.
- People are coming.

- Oh.
- But we had to leave, because...

we figured out
what happened to Gene.

- Gidday, Clint.
- Heya. What's goin' on?

- Well, apparently these two
have some news about poor Gene.

What were you saying, Vinny?
- That it was about the boat
in the end.

Your boat.
- That used to be red,
but as of yesterday is blue.

- So?

What's this about?
- Well, why not just be honest
about your boat being off the water

instead of trying to pass off
frozen calamari as a catch?

- You couldn't get out on the sea,
Clint. And you tried to lie
about that.

- What's happening, Clint?

- Yeah. OK. Yeah.

Gave my girl a paint job
because Gene, the old shithead,

was suddenly dead,
and I knew what people would think.

- You and your husband
both need to piss off.

Clint didn't do anything to Gene.

- We know that, Teresa.
We know he didn't.

- Why are you looking at me
like that?

- Because Clint's boat
was the final straw for you.

The way Gene treated
your friend that day

is what pushed you over the edge.

- The fighting with Xander,
the threatening little kids.

- This arsehole
threatened to smack my kids.

- Yeah, well, the little shits
and their endless buzzing.
They need a good smack.

- I'll smack you in a minute―
Oh―

- You couldn't take any more,
and, well, fair enough.

- So when you went for a drink
with Clint that night and heard
about the boat crash...

- You― You think I blew up
Gene because I was protecting Clint?

- Well, and the rest. Gene had been
making your life hell for years,

and couldn't understand why you
hadn't just kicked the bastard out.

- Because I'm not tough
like you, Vinny. I haven't
been a police officer before.

- But you could've called one.
- Unless Gene was entitled ― legally
entitled ― to be on yourproperty.

- And that's where the problem lies.
Isn't that right, Teresa?

Because Gene was
legally entitled to be there.

- It was an old contract,
but it was signed by your father
and Gene's father.

Gene was entitled to
that prime camping site
for the rest of his life.

- And if you tried to boot him, you
would've had a legal battle on your
hands which you couldn't afford.

- Look, chin up, mate. I'm so sorry.

- Hey, thanks. Appreciate it.
- Night. Sleep well.

- So that night,
when you were so angry
after the way he treated Clint,

you knew Gene was still at the pub.

- And then you all but
lit a fuse.

- He just...

loved making everyone miserable

and flaunting that piece of paper
in my face.

My stupid father lost a bet,
and I'm the one still paying it off.

- This has gotta be bullshit.
You could've subdivided or

sold the land around him―
- No, nobody would want it!
Who would want a prime piece of land

with a shitty caravan smack in
the middle? couldn't.

You two just wait.
You wait and see how hard it is.

- Bloody hell, Teresa.
What were you thinking?

Aargh! Fuck!
- Teresa! Stop!

- Aargh, fuck!

I should've blown that
bloody arsehole up years ago

before you got here
to ruin everything.

- I didn't ruin it. You did.

made a friend.

- Oh― Just...

- Huh.
- People actually came.

- Did they dance?
- Of course they did.

- To what songs?
- Old shit.
- Oh, shush.

I started a conga line. Like a
'cha-cha cha-cha cha cha'.

And it really went off, didn't it?
- Yeah. And I did some of
my breakdancing.

I'm low-key obsessed with Raygun.
- Come here, girl.
- OK.

- A cha-cha cha-cha cha cha!
- OK. We're off.
- A cha-cha cha-cha cha cha.

- Xander. What are you gonna do
with the holiday park?

Townhouses? High-rise apartments?

- Actually, nah. None of that.

I wanna give my boys
the same kind of holiday
I had growing up. You know?

Swingball, beach cricket, all that.

- Where are the boys now?
- Oh, they're in their unit
playing Minecraft.

Excuse me.

We missed it.
- We missed it.

- Oh...

- You know what?
We could try again next month.
- Yeah.

- And I'm, uh...
I'm sorry about your new bestie.

- Oh.
I don't need a new bestie, Cole.

Happy with the one I've got.

Mm.

- You guys need to
get out here, now.

- Suicide pact. But my instinct's
telling me something's not right.

- I'm meant to be with my
best friend. But she's dead.

- It's a tale as old as time, really.

- Romeo and Juliet
for the twilight set.

- A dying man, an old flame
that still burns.

- But you're doing really
well out of it, aren't ya?

- Pyew-pyew!

- I'll give it a minute or two
then see if I can get close.

- Argh!
- Get off me!

- That was awesome.