Original subtitles

-Mail came. -Anything good?

-More bills. -Put 'em with the rest.

Ruben, help! These bills are crushing me!

They sure are.

Georgie, CeeCee's doctor bills just came.

Put 'em with the rest.

No!

Hey. What're you doing up so late?

Just had some ideas for the store.

"Tire Tuesdays?"

It's like Taco Tuesdays, but with tires.

And "Wheel Wednesdays?"

-It's like Tire Tues-- -I get it.

All right, I'm going back to bed.

"Lubey Tuesday."

You know, like Ruby Tuesday but for lube jobs.

-Hey! -Morning.

-Can I get some of that to go? -Sure.

Hey, when you were runnin' the store, did you ever dream about it?

Oh, yeah. All the time.

-Really? -Yeah.

Yeah, I used to have this one where I'm working late at night

and Ann-Margret comes in, dressed all sexy.

-Who's that? -Don't talk, just listen.

Anyway, she needs a new tire but doesn't have a way to pay for it.

Mr. McAllister!

So, w-we work out an exchange, which is okay 'cause Audrey's dead in the dream.

Thanks for sharing.

"Who's Ann-Margret?" That's just sad.

-Morning. -Morning to you, hot stuff.

Too early.

-This is your big idea? -One of 'em.

How much did it cost?

It'll pay for itself. Trust me.

Mi compañero es un idiota.

If you're gonna insult me, insult me in English.

-My partner's an idiot. -Thank you.

-Hey, Georgie. -Pastor Jeff.

That's quite a... thing.

Yeah, we're hoping to drive in some business.

-Reminds me of Darlene Shackleford. -I don't know her.

Sweet old lady, sang in the choir, had epilepsy.

Anything I can help you with?

Well, I have a bit of bad news and I didn't wanna do it over the phone.

W-what's goin' on?

Fred Fagenbacher offered us a great deal on the church buses,

so we're gonna have to go with him.

What kinda great deal? I-I-I'll match it.

Free.

And on that ominous note, you have a blessed day.

Fred Fagenbacher, please.

Georgie Cooper.

Sure, I'll hold.

I've got Georgie Cooper on line one.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Little busy here, Georgie, what's up?

You know damn well what's up?

You mean First Baptist? Yeah.

It does feel good to do good, don't it?

You're just tryin' to drive me outta business.

Which also feels good.

Two can play at this game, Fred.

Hey! Don't your mom work at that church?

Well, yeah. Why?

What do you mean, "Why?" She's an attractive woman.

A-and two can play at that game. Where's your mom work?

I'll see you around, Georgie.

Man, I hate that guy.

-What was that about his mom? -I might have to take her out for coffee.

-What? -It doesn't matter. We'll be fine.

-Just gotta tighten our belts a little. -What's a little?

Well, we just don't take a salary for a month or six.

Six?

I got rent. I got car payments. You live for free with your in-laws.

I pay an emotional price to live there.

How am I supposed to survive?

Well, you're always welcome to come over for dinner.

That doesn't solve anything.

What if we were to punch back at Fagenbacher?

How?

He stole some of our business, we steal some of his.

I'm listening.

What's he got, like, three tow trucks?

-Yeah, I think so. -What if he had none?

-So, you're sayin'- -I ain't sayin' nothin'.

-I'm in. -All right then.

I'm in for dinner too.

This is a pleasant surprise.

Thanks for having me, Mrs. McCallister.

Oh, please. After all these years, call me Audrey.

Thank you, Audrey.

-Should I start calling you Audrey? -No.

Connor, I hope I didn't take your seat.

That's okay. That's where he eats.

If you prefer the counter, I'll take the chair. You are the guest.

-I'm good. -You sure?

I got a lovely view of our neighbor's birdfeeder. Quite the show.

Maybe later.

So, how's things at the shop?

Great. Just great.

We got that new computer and a dancing balloon guy.

I don't know what that is.

It's a balloon guy that goes like this.

That does not help me.

Well, we're also talkin' about openin' up another shop in, in Nacogdoches.

-Wow! -Incredible.

When were you gonna tell me?

Well, there's nothin' to tell. We're just chewin' the fat.

-Chewin' the fat? -It's a thing. People say it.

Well, I am just delighted to hear that things are looking up.

Thank you, Audrey.

And let's not wait so long before you come back for another meal.

Great. What time's breakfast?

Sure. I'm joking.

-What are you doin'? -Well, I got a tow.

I didn't hear your pager.

Well, I mean, you were snoring pretty loud so...

Is something goin' on? -No, I'm just tryin' to make a livin'.

I know you're lyin' about Nacogdoches.

-What? Why would you say that? -You have a tell, Georgie.

I do not.

You get extra country when you're hiding somethin'.

Well, that's a whole heap of hogwash.

There's nothin' to worry about. Go back to sleep.

Love you.

Love you too.

You lying country bumpkin.

-Any cameras? -I don't see any.

-Okay, just like we planned. -Yeah.

-What are you doing? -Giving you a boost.

-I don't need a boost. -Well, excuse me for tryin' to be helpful.

-Would you like a boost? -I ain't too proud for a boost.

Careful.

Dude, there's razor wire under my nuts, I'm bein' careful.

Okay, your turn.

Kinda wish you took the boost now, don't ya?

I got this.

Can I ask you a question?

Sure. I'm not doing anything.

Do you think I ever sound extra country?

Seriously? You sound like if a banjo could talk.

I hope this works.

It will. My ex-girlfriend did it to my truck.

-She sounds crazy. -I have a type.

Serves him right for talkin' trash about my mom.

-What'd he say? -He called her attractive.

Her name was Charmaine.

Had bright red hair.

Like Annie?

-Who? -Little orphan Annie.

Hard Knock Life? Sandy, the dog?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

I usually don't like musicals, but that one is magical.

Let's go.

Climb, climb.

I'm climbing! I'm climbing!

Nice doggy.

-Hey. -Go back to sleep.

-Did you take a shower? -Yeah.

-Why? -W-what do you mean why?

Well, I wanna be clean before I get into bed with the woman I love.

-All right. What's going on? -Nothin'.

I just got some grease on me from the tow and I didn't wanna ruin the sheets.

I've seen you wipe your nose on the sheets.

I can't wipe it on my sleeve, I can't wipe it on the sheets, I cannot win with you.

Just tell me the truth.

I done told ya, ain't nothin goin' on.

Ya done told me?

I had some urgent tow truck business to attend to.

And I'm speaking like a Yankee so you know it's true.

Fine. Whatever.

-Don't be mad. -I'm not.

-Are you lyin'? -You bet your britches I ain't.

-Hello? -Back here.

-Hey! -Georgie's out on a tow.

-Actually, I'm here to see you. -Me?

Yeah, you.

Is Georgie in some kinda trouble?

Trouble? Gosh, I hope not.

He left around midnight. He said he had a tow.

Did he have a tow?

Hey!

Come on, Ruben. I know something's going on. You gotta tell me.

I got nothing to tell.

-Where were you last night? -Home.

-The whole time? -The whole time.

Then why did Georgie say you were with him?

-Nice try. -What?

You can't trick a guy who's seen every episode of Murder She Wrote.

It's my abuela's favorite.

All right, guess we're done here.

One more thing...

We also watch Columbo.

Georgie, you there?

Ten-four. Copy.

You can just say yes.

Yes.

Hey, I got a fender-bender on two-eighty-seven. You free for a tow?

I got one on the hitch. Did you holler at Fagenbacher?

Yeah. Apparently, they're out of commission.

You don't say.

Be there as soon as I can.

Baby did a bad bad thing

Baby did a bad bad thing

Baby did a bad bad--

-Thank you for your business. -Welcome.

-I'm serious. Means a lot to us. -Okay.

No one prepares you for the pressure of running your own shop.

What it takes to keep your head above water.

-I gotta go. -Sure.

Appreciate ya!

-Hey, thank you for your business. -Okay! Jeez.

Wanna help me get this Impala off the truck. I got another tow.

Your wife was here asking a lot of questions.

-What? About what? -About last night.

-What'd you tell her? -Nothing, said you were on a tow.

Oh, my God. Thank you.

-Weird. -What?

I showered, but I swear I can still smell the bleach.

Let me see.

-I smell banana. -I did have a banana.

There you go.

-Oh, so no bleach? -No. How about me?

I just smell rubber. And what is that? Old Spice?

Drakkar.

Nice, I should try some.

We can't smell the same. People will talk.

-Georgie? -Yeah?

Are you taking another shower?

My mom always said, "Cleanliness is next to Godliness."

Georgie, you're really starting to worry me.

Why?

Well, you're sneakin' out at night. You're takin' a bunch of showers.

So?

So, that's what people do when they're having an affair.

What? I ain't havin' an affair.

Well, then what the hell's goin' on?

Nothing.

I'm not stupid.

It's just work stuff, I promise.

That you won't tell me about?

I can't.

-Okay. -Mandy, come on.

Watching your man take a shower.

Nice.

Leaving to stay You're no good

You're no good You're no good

Baby, you're no good

I'm gonna say it again You're no good

Hey! Whatcha doin'?

Oh, just enjoyin' a little me time.

Oh, all right. I'll leave you to it.

No, no. Hop in.

-Music? -Please, no.

Okay.

How many of those you had?

"Why so many showers?" "Why so many beers?"

Does everyone in your family keep count?

I'm gonna go out on a limb here, son. Something bothering you?

Absolutely not.

Something goin' on at work?

-Yes. -Yeah.

-You wanna talk about it? -No.

Just didn't realize sometimes you gotta get your hands dirty to get things done.

I have been there.

What, you have?

Fella's gotta do what he's gotta do to take care of his family.

You sayin' you got dirty hands?

It was a long time ago. I was just getting started.

Does Mrs. McAllister know?

Nope.

Was it worth it?

Yep.

Phew. Good to hear.

But I will tell you there was a time when I had a full head of hair.

Dang.

Does Mandy know?

-I don't wanna worry her. -Good man.

I don't feel like a good man.

That's 'cause you're a good man.

When do you stop feeling guilty?

Well, for me, it's after a six-pack.

I'm bigger than you so drink accordingly.

-Ruben. -What?

-Come here. I got somethin' for you. -You come here to me.

It's money.

-Pay your rent, partner. -Oh, thank God.

-Dude... -Don't be weird. Just let it happen.

Hey, Mr. Fagenbacher.

I know.

-You know what? -I know what you did.

-Don't know what you're talkin' about. -You know.

This ain't over.

-What do you think? -Well, I think he knows.