Original subtitles

What a long drive that was.

Now, it's nice that I brought one bad guy here about two years ago.

I know, honey, but, you know, I wasn't sure we were going to be meeting with

all these deans of admission and stuff.

Now, are you sure you want to go to college so far away from home?

I mean, that was a long drive up here.

Let's get into something more comfortable. We've been driving that

first guy really.

He was kind of a noose. I mean, you didn't like that still, right? No.

Let's kind of relax a little bit and get comfortable, and then we can kind of go

over some of the game plan of what we're going to do the next couple of days,

okay?

Now.

I know I didn't want to spring for our hotel, and this old college friend of

mine, it was very sweet of her to loan us her guest bedroom, but it's the

only bedroom she's got.

She was real nice, and she brought a pillow and a sheet.

I guess we'll make it work.

Hey, you know, when you do go away to college,

You probably end up sleeping on the floor a bunch. Yeah.

So this will be good training for you, okay?

Do I have to sleep on the floor?

Well, yeah, honey.

There's only one bed, and I am way too old to sleep on the floor.

Okay. Okay.

All right. Let's get into something more comfortable.

I'll use the restroom first and change, and then you can, okay?

Okay. All right.

Honey, will you take my suitcases in for me?

Are you serious?

Well, yeah.

Okay.

All right, honey.

And we're going to go tomorrow.

Now, this college year, I mean, they've got an athletic program.

They've got a music program. You'd like that.

Well, it's not co-ed.

What? Well, it's not co-ed, but it's got a great music program.

No.

No. You wanted to at least go to... There is a college... There's a girls'

college, you know, pretty close.

I don't know, though.

It's sort of like... It takes away from the whole experience.

You're going to college to learn, young man, not pick up girls. But it's part of

your whole thing.

Okay. All right. What about this one?

If we, I can afford this one without you having to get a part

-time job.

That's a plus.

Now, they've got a very good music program also, and there's a science

program. I mean, you know, look at this.

I mean.

I like that I wouldn't have to get a job.

Well, no.

You may have to, for your incidentals and stuff, get a job, but.

You know, you're going to be a little far away from me.

Especially if you're up here.

Who wants to go to college in the north?

Well.

Okay, well.

Now,

see, the curriculum, you don't have to get up early.

If you're taking the science and the music program, yep.

So that's not a bad deal.

So we'll...

No job and no getting up early. This is my favorite one so far.

Okay, well, how about if we go see them the day after tomorrow?

Okay. Okay, well, that's a definite bet.

Let's save that one.

All right, what about this one here?

What are you thinking?

I don't know. It kind of looks like a bunch of douchebags right now.

Douchebags?

Honey, listen, you are, you should be excited about going to a new

school, and these juice bags might be really cool, too. It looks a little bit

too exciting.

Well, okay, it is emotional. It's cool, I mean.

It's cool, but.

Is that Christian?

Christian? I'm too happy.

Well,

they do have church services.

Yeah. It might be a Christian.

It's gold.

I'm not so sure.

I don't know. Well, you know, but you'd look really cute in that uniform.

Come on. Couldn't I see you in a little letterman's jacket or something?

I don't think that was happening.

All right, all right, all right. All right, so we're going to go to this one

tomorrow and this one the day after tomorrow.

Okay. And this one we're...

What about if we just go look at the all-boys school?

Look at the campus. It's beautiful.

They're probably all gay together or something.

Sweetheart, they're not gay. Then why do they go to school where there are no

girls at all?

Well, it's because it's always been that way.

But I heard that there's a girl college right down the road, and they do mixers

and little social events.

Okay. So they try to find a way to make it work.

But you just won't be distracted, young man, during class.

That's really the only difference.

Yeah. Just not in class.

But there's plenty of girls, right? I mean, it's a cute little town that it's

in. Yeah.

We can look at that one.

Okay. Good point. All right.

Well, I am exhausted from driving all day.

Me too.

You were asleep the whole time. I was pointing out all the pretty...

roadside things and at least having something interesting to drive up here.

But no, you were back there snoring.

It just wasn't the same. It was like a light sleep.

I don't know. It sure weren't a whole lot of company to me.

Maybe you'll sleep just fine.

Don't be looking at this bed. This is my bed. Come on, sweetheart.

I'll help you.

Get used to it. You're going to be doing this a lot.

I've got a nice little bedroll out for you.

I think, like, half my thought is, I'm not even a big guy.

Give me your sweetheart.

I'll tuck you in.

I feel really bad, but I think it would just be a little weird to...

Sit in the bed.

Okay.

See?

Perfect.

All right. All right, sweetheart.

Are you

comfortable,

sweetheart?

It's not that bad.

and comfortable.

Well, tomorrow will be a good day. We'll find the college that you want to go to.

It's all that matters.

It was the one that had the good music program, but it really was kind of a...

Yeah, I mean, I don't know.

Headmaster, I would just take.

Sweetheart. Can't talk about the elders that way.

Well, tomorrow, we'll go see the other one.

This one.

We like this one.

And then we'll see the one with the... No girl.

You might like that one the best.

I mean, I think it would be worse than today, I don't think.

No, I got to agree. I mean, I just didn't like the caliber of the two

teachers that I met. They just kind of didn't know.

I know.

They didn't know what they were doing. Yeah.

They have that, like, attitude, like they did or something.

Maybe they just think they're a little special.

So, I tell you what, I'll buy breakfast in the morning.

All right, well, did you sleep all right on tonight?

I mean, I'm tired, but not really.

I heard you down there kind of tossing and turning a little bit.

Yeah, it's not the same as my bed at home.

Well, nothing is going to be the same as your bed at home. That was a very

expensive mattress, but... Sorry, it's

going to be... I know.

I know, I know. All right.

You look so dejected.

I'm all right. I'm just tired and, you know, still in the big day.

Well, I feel guilty about making you sleep on the floor.

I'll tell you what.

I'm bringing a pillow up here.

I just feel bad about you sleeping down there.

Okay.

Put the pillow here.

You're going to sleep with me.

Okay, cool.

I need to have my jeans out, but that doesn't make things weird.

Don't cross that pillow.

Good night, darling.

I told you to keep this pillow between us. I didn't do anything.

Well, sweetheart, that was supposed to keep that pillow between us, but somehow

it's moved.

I didn't do it.

I don't think I did it.

Well, all right, you can sleep for a little while longer.

I'm going to get up and get dressed.

We still have more college to see today.

Well, I went shopping while you were talking to that last dean.

I thought I'd treat myself.

These shops are different up here.

So what did you think of today?

It was a good school.

I liked everybody there.

The curriculum seemed to be good.

What did you like about it?

I like... Well, it's good for you that way, but I like the fact that it's got

a good curriculum and it's got a good accreditation standing.

Right. So... That's all I did to you, I guess.

Boy, I'm going to miss you being up this far.

So... Are you all right?

All right.

Well... Now, I really want to make sure that you're okay with...

share in the bed with me tonight.

All right. Okay, all right.

Sure? Sure.

All right, well, pull the pillow down, put the pillow in between this.

All right.

Don't move at this time.

I didn't move it.

I'm really... Oh,

well, I'm going to miss you so much.

Here.

I'm just thinking about you being gone.

I'm really going to miss you.

A little bit.

Or... Or I'll come home and visit a lot.

Or maybe I can come up a bit with you.

Of a young man you've become.

And maybe... Maybe you're not quite ready for the

big bad world.

You're not.

I'm just holding you close.

Enjoying a little bit of time I've got left to spend with my, uh, my people.

Have you been having those same feel as I have?

Yeah, it's been really horny last weekend.

Horny for me?

I kind of dig you before last night.

I knew you did.

But that's okay. I enjoyed it too.

Oh.

God, are you...

Can I see?

Oh

wow.

Can you get the bar there?

Oh.

Yeah, you do.

I saw a lot of cops in my day.

Not quite as spectacular as yours.

But of course, I made this.

Does it feel good?

Here, you can have one, sweetheart.

Yeah.

Mmm.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, baby.

If you're found and determined to move up here to go to school,

I might just have to move with you.

I don't know why I said that.

It

wasn't

so bad sharing a room with your old mom, was it?

No. I did not expect this.