Original subtitles

SO YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU'VE ONLY HAD

2 PREVIOUS COSMETIC SURGERIES.

2, YES.

MY NOSE TO CORRECT A DEVIATED SEPTUM,

AND MY JAW TO FIX A SLIGHT OVERBITE.

MR. DIAMOND, DO YOU MAKE A GOOD LIVING

IMPERSONATING MICHAEL JACKSON?

OH, YES. I HAVE A CONDO HERE IN MIAMI,

BUT I'M IN VEGAS FOR, LIKE, 45 WEEKS A YEAR.

I'M A HEADLINER.

HOW ELSE DO YOU THINK I CAN AFFORD

ANOTHER DEVIATED SEPTUM OPERATION?

AND IT LOOKS LIKE MICHAEL'S JUST HAD ANOTHER ONE.

HE'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PERSON.

[DIAMOND SIGHS]

WELL, HOW ABOUT A BLEACHING PEEL THEN?

MR. DIAMOND, I'M GONNA BE HONEST WITH YOU.

YOU NEED TO STOP HAVING SURGERIES,

PARTICULARLY RHINOPLASTY.

WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU:

LOOKING LIKE YOUR IDOL OR BREATHING?

EXCUSE ME, CHRISTIAN.

SEAN HAS A CONSULT WAITING IN HIS OFFICE,

AND HE JUST CALLED AND ASKED

IF YOU COULD STEP IN.

HE HAS AN EMERGENCY AT HOME.

WHAT KIND OF EMERGENCY?

DIDN'T SAY.

LIZ, IF YOU'LL ESCORT MR. DIAMOND OUT, PLEASE?

I LOVED YOU IN THE WIZ.

DR. TROY, I HAVE BEEN WAITING IN THE LOBBY

FOR 20 MINUTES!

MRS. GRUBMAN, YOU DIDN'T HAVE AN APPOINTMENT.

BUT AS YOU KNOW,

I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU.

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM.

THE PROBLEM IS, I DON'T KNOW HOW

YOU EXPECT ME TO RECOVER FROM A TUMMY TUCK

ON SHITTY SHEETS.

MRS. GRUBMAN, THE SHEETS IN OUR RECOVERY CENTER

ARE 250 COUNT FRETTE.

I PICKED THEM OUT MYSELF.

YOU CALL THEM 250 COUNT. I CALL THEM SANDPAPER.

FRETTE SHEETS ARE HOTEL SHEETS,

AND I'M SORRY, BUT IF I'M GONNA HEAL,

I NEED COMFORT, NOT DURABILITY.

MRS. GRUBMAN...

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT PRATESI, 400 COUNT?

DR. TROY, I EXPECT NOTHING LESS.

WHAT'S GOING ON, MATT? ARE YOU OK?

LOOK, I'M GONNA BE FINE, MOM.

RIGHT? I'M GONNA BE FINE.

TAKE THE ICE PACK OFF.

LET ME SEE. MM-MMM.

MATT, I CHANGED YOUR DIAPER HUNDREDS OF TIMES.

I'VE SEEN IT.

COME ON.

YOU TOOK A CHUNK OUT OF YOUR FORESKIN

AND LACERATED THE OPENING OF YOUR URETHRA.

I CAN APPLY A SLIGHT PRESSURE BANDAGE.

THAT'LL GET YOU THROUGH THE NEXT COUPLE OF HOURS.

AND THEN WHAT?

AND THEN LATER TODAY

YOU'RE COMING INTO THE OFFICE,

AND I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A PROPER CIRCUMCISION.

NO SHIT?

ON ONE CONDITION.

YOU START COMMUNICATING WITH ME.

IF THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR BODY

YOU WANT CHANGED,

ONE OF THOSE NIPPLE RINGS, WHATEVER,

WE TALK IT OUT BEFORE YOU TRY SELF-MUTILATION.

AND IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT SEX,

FOR INSTANCE, HOW TO FIND AND STIMULATE THE CLITORIS,

YOU COME TO ME.

I WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN YOUR LIFE, MATT.

DEAL?

DEAL.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

* AHH *

* MAKE ME *

* BEAUTIFUL *

* MAKE ME *

* A PERFECT SOUL *

* A PERFECT MIND *

* A PERFECT FACE *

* A PERFECT *

* LIFE *

MS. BABCOCK, TELL ME WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF.

EVERYTHING.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

DR. TROY? YES.

GRACE SANTIAGO.

I'M THE NEW PSYCHOLOGIST.

WE HAVE ONE ALREADY-- DR. PENDLETON.

I GUESS HE DIDN'T WORK OUT.

I DON'T WANT TO INTRUDE. I CAN COME BACK.

NO. NO, PLEASE.

HAVE A SEAT.

HI. GRACE.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

MS. BABCOCK, TELL ME SPECIFICALLY

WHAT YOU'RE INTERESTED IN HAVING DONE.

I--I NEED LIPOSUCTION

UNDER MY CHIN, EVERYWHERE.

I HATE THE BUMP ON MY NOSE.

I HATE MY BREASTS,

AND MY STOMACH HAS STRETCH MARKS.

THEY MAKE ME SICK.

I'D LIKE THOSE TO GO AWAY.

DR. TROY, COULD I SEE MS. BABCOCK'S PATIENT FORM?

MS. BABCOCK, YOU'RE INTERESTED

IN CHANGING A LOT OF THINGS.

WELL, I'VE BEEN SAVING UP MY MONEY FOR THIS.

I DROVE ALL THE WAY HERE FROM PORT LUCY.

I'M GOING TO MY 10-YEAR CLASS REUNION

IN A MONTH.

I WANT TO GO AS A NEW PERSON,

SOMEONE THEY DON'T RECOGNIZE AS A GIRL

THEY USED TO CALL "SASQUATCH."

WELL, I THINK WE CAN SEND YOU OFF

TO THAT CLASS REUNION

FEELING MUCH BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF.

REALLY?

YOU'LL HELP ME?

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW...

AAH! NO FOOD 12 HOURS BEFORE SURGERY.

MATT, YOU'VE NEVER EVEN HAD YOUR TONSILS OUT.

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS?

YEAH. IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME, MOM.

AND DAD AGREES, SO--

NO, I DON'T AGREE.

WHAT YOU DID HAS TO BE CORRECTED

BY A PROFESSIONAL.

I'M DOING YOUR CIRCUMCISION OUT OF MEDICAL NECESSITY.

BEFORE WE LEAVE, YOU NEED TO SHAVE

YOUR GENITAL REGION, MATT.

CAREFULLY.

AND THE HUMILIATIONS JUST KEEP ON COMING,

DON'T THEY?

I DON'T LIKE THIS.

HE'LL BE FINE. I PROMISE.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

I'LL GET IT.

GOOD MORNING. OFFICER STONE,

MIAMI-DADE POLICE DEPARTMENT.

COME ON IN.

MAY I SPEAK TO JULIA McNAMARA, PLEASE?

I'M JULIA McNAMARA. IS THERE A PROBLEM?

ACTUALLY, YES.

MRS. McNAMARA, THE STATE OF FLORIDA

HAS A HUGE PROBLEM WITH ANYBODY

WHO WOULD TORTURE AND KILL AN ANIMAL.

YOUR PLUMBER HAS NOTIFIED US

ABOUT HIS DISCOVERY AND FILED A COMPLAINT.

I'LL GET MY PURSE.

MS. McNAMARA, I'M NOT ARRESTING YOU.

SEE, IN THIS STATE, KILLING AN ANIMAL

IS NOT A CRIME. IT'S A MISDEMEANOR.

SO YOU HAVE THE CHOICE OF

ATTENDING AN ANIMAL ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASS,

OR PAYING A $5,000 FINE.

DETECTIVE, A HUGE MISTAKE HAS BEEN MADE HERE.

MY WIFE WON'T EVEN LET ME PUT A BUG ZAPPER

IN THE BACKYARD.

SHE DIDN'T KILL ANYTHING.

YES, SEAN, I DID.

JULIA KILLED FRISKY.

THIS IS VERY DISTURBING TO ME,

THAT SHE'S CAPABLE OF THAT.

GOT A SON WHO TRIED TO CUT OFF HIS PENIS,

A WIFE WHO FLUSHED A GERBIL.

IT'S LIKE I'VE MOVED BACK INTO HELL HOUSE.

SO ARE WE GONNA COMMUNICATE AT ALL TODAY,

OR ARE YOU GONNA CONTINUE TO POUT

LIKE A 6-YEAR-OLD?

KISS MY TAN, WAXED ASS, SEAN.

WHY DID YOU FIRE PENDLETON WITHOUT CONSULTING ME?

THAT WAS WRONG.

I SHOULD HAVE CHECKED WITH YOU FIRST.

BUT I WAS JUSTIFIED. I FIRED HIM

BECAUSE HE'S A RACIST.

BULLSHIT.

YOU FIRED HIM BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T

THE MOST BRILLIANT KID ON THE PLAYGROUND ANYMORE,

AND THAT BUGGED THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.

75% OF OUR PATIENTS ARE WOMEN, CHRISTIAN.

I THINK OUR CLIENTELE WOULD, IN MANY CASES,

BE MORE COMFORTABLE

DISCUSSING THEIR CONCERNS

WITH SOMEONE OF THE SAME GENDER.

THIS HIRE MIGHT JUST BE A BOOST

IN THE MARKETPLACE.

YOU KNOW, SEAN, I'M GONNA THROW YOU THIS BONE

BECAUSE HIRING A SHRINK GIVES YOU A MORAL COMFORT ZONE.

IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES FOR YOU

TO STAY IN THIS PROFESSION WITH ME, FINE.

I'LL TAKE THAT BULLET.

BUT BE HONEST HERE.

ADMIT YOU HIRED GRACE SANTIAGO

BECAUSE YOU WANT TO GET INTO HER PANTS.

[HEART MONITOR BEEPING]

UNCLE CHRIS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

YOU'RE THE MOST IMPORTANT PATIENT

WE'VE EVER OPERATED ON, MATTY.

WE'RE JUST TAKING EXTRA PRECAUTIONS, THAT'S ALL.

OK, GUYS, READY WHEN YOU ARE.

I'M AFRAID.

YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE, MATT.

I WOULDN'T DO THIS

UNLESS I COULD GUARANTEE THAT.

MATT, I WANT YOU TO COUNT BACK FROM 10, OK?

OK. 10...9...

ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO THIS.

CLAMP.

HEMOSTAT.

SCALPEL.

LET ME DO IT. YOU'RE NERVOUS.

THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE.

I'M FINE. I WANT TO DO THIS.

IT'S OK. WE'LL TRADE.

YOU DO GRUBMAN'S TUMMY TUCK AFTERWARDS, I'LL DO MATT.

DR. TROY, I HAVE THE RESULTS

OF NANETTE BABCOCK'S BLOOD PRELIM.

SHE DIDN'T TEST POSITIVE FOR LITHIUM

OR ANY SIMILAR GENERIC.

HOW NOBLY EFFICIENT OF YOU.

I'M JUST TRYING TO DO MY JOB.

WELL, YOUR JOB IS NOT NECESSARY.

IS THERE A PROBLEM?

A POTENTIAL PATIENT'S BLOOD PRELIM

JUST CAME BACK. IN GOOD CONSCIENCE,

I DON'T SEE HOW WE OPERATE

ON A MANIC-DEPRESSIVE RESISTING DRUG THERAPY.

I WOULD AGREE WITH THAT DIAGNOSIS.

SEAN, I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU IN MY OFFICE.

NOW.

IS THIS HOW IT'S GOING TO BE?

YOU'RE GOING TO LISTEN TO THE CONCERNS

OF SALSA SPICE OVER THE JUDGEMENT OF YOUR PARTNER?

SINCE WE'VE AGREED TO HIRE A PSYCHOLOGIST,

I THINK WE HAVE AN OBLIGATION

TO FOLLOW THAT PERSON'S EXPERT ADVICE,

PARTICULARLY WHEN A CONSULT'S MEDICAL HISTORY

SETS OFF AN ALARM.

NANETTE BABCOCK COULD BENEFIT FROM SOME SELECT SURGERIES.

SOMETIMES GIVING A PERSON A NOSE JOB

CHANGES THEIR LIVES IN MORE PROFOUND WAYS

THAN A LIFETIME OF MOOD CONTROLLERS.

WE CAN'T TAKE ON EVERY PATIENT

WHO FILES THROUGH OUR DOORS.

OR ARE YOU FORGETTING WHAT TOOK PLACE

A MONTH AGO?

ARE YOU SAYING I HAVE NO ETHICS?

I'M SAYING YOU HAVE A HISTORY

OF LIKING YOUR MONEY.

SCREW YOU, SEAN.

I HAVE A DISCRIMINATING EYE.

TODAY, I TURNED DOWN MICHAEL JACKSON.

YOU KNOW THE DANGERS INHERENT

IN MANIC DEPRESSIVE PATIENTS.

YOU WANT MEDICAL STATS, SEAN, HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?

WOMEN WHO HAVE BREAST IMPLANTS

ARE 3 TIMES MORE LIKELY TO KILL THEMSELVES

THAN WOMEN WHO DON'T.

DOES THAT MEAN WE'RE NOT STUFFING

ANY MORE TITS IN THIS OFFICE?

CHRISTIAN, I'M SURE YOU'LL AGREE

THAT NOW IS NOT THE TIME

TO FLIRT WITH ANY DEGREE OF RISK.

DR. SANTIAGO MADE THE RIGHT CALL HERE.

DO YOU WANT TO CALL MS. BABCOCK,

OR SHOULD I HAVE HER DO IT?

* SHE HAS NO FATHER *

* NO HERO HUSBAND *

* TO HELP HER GATHER *

* HEREIN *

* SO SHE IMAGINES THAT *

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

* THE DEEJAY LOVES HER... *

[RING]

HELLO?

MS. BABCOCK, IT'S DR. TROY.

I'M AFRAID WE CAN'T DO YOUR SURGERIES ON MONDAY.

BUT I CAN'T RESCHEDULE.

I'M ON DEADLINE FOR MY REUNION.

I'LL BARELY HEAL IN TIME FROM THE BRUISING

AS IT IS NOW.

I'M NOT CALLING TO RESCHEDULE.

MS. BABCOCK?

LOOK, I KNOW I'M FAT,

BUT I HAVE BEEN WORKING MY ASS OFF...

LITERALLY.

NURSE LINDA TOLD ME I SHOULD TRY

AND LOSE 10 POUNDS BEFORE THE SURGERIES,

THAT I WOULD RECOVER FASTER IF I DID,

AND I'M TRYING.

THAT'S NOT THE REASON

WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO YOUR SURGERIES.

THEN WHY AREN'T YOU THEN?

YOU SAID YOU COULD MAKE ME LOOK BETTER!

I NEED TO LOOK BETTER!

MS. BABCOCK, WE'RE DECLINING YOUR CASE

BECAUSE WE FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS.

BUT EVERY DOCTOR HAS THEIR OWN CRITERIA.

I'D LIKE TO RECOMMEND MY COLLEAGUE DR. MARTIN HARGROVE.

I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO A CONSULTATION

AND THE SCHEDULING ALL OVER AGAIN!

I NEED TO LOOK DIFFERENT NOW!

YOU STOP PLAYING MIND GAMES WITH ME.

IF YOU WANT ME TO PAY MORE MONEY, I'LL PAY IT.

IT'S NOT ABOUT MONEY, MS. BABCOCK, IT'S--

I HOPE YOU GET CANCER!

[SLAMS TELEPHONE ON THE FLOOR]

* I'LL SELL MY SOUL *

* I'LL BE YOUR GEEK *

* I'LL RUN OUT IN... *

DID IT HURT?

YOU WERE WORTH IT.

THE STITCHES COME OUT NEXT WEEK.

WE CAN DO IT ANYTIME AFTER THAT.

MATT, HAVE YOU URINATED YET TODAY?

[LAUGHS]

BUZZKILL.

LATER.

BYE.

WHY DO YOU WANT TO SEE THIS?

I HAD TO SUTURE YOUR URINARIUS,

AND I WANT TO MAKE SURE THERE'S NO BLOOD IN THE URINE.

THAT IT COULD BE A SIGN OF INTERNAL HEMORRHAGING...

AND I WANT TO BE HERE TO SUPPORT YOU.

WHY DO I NEED THAT?

THE FIRST TIME YOU PEE AFTER AN OPERATION

OF THIS NATURE, IT'S GOING TO FEEL LIKE

YOU'RE PISSING FIRE, MATT.

JUST PRESS DOWN ON MY HAND AND SCREAM IF YOU WANT.

NOBODY'S GONNA JUDGE YOU.

I--I DON'T NEED TO HOLD YOUR HAND, DAD.

AND, UH...

COULD YOU GIVE ME SOME PRIVACY?

OH.

VANESSA'S A LITTLE HARDBODY, MATT.

LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE DATING A FUTURE PROM QUEEN.

CONGRATULATIONS.

I CAN'T DANCE.

OK, WELL, LET'S COME BACK IN AN HOUR THEN.

NO, I, UH...

I MEAN I REALLY CAN'T DANCE.

YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THE PROM THING.

SHE'S ALREADY ASKED ME TO GO...

AND I DON'T--I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DANCE.

UH...

WELL, THAT'S OK.

NEITHER COULD I.

YOU JUST SAY, "IT'S NOT MY THING."

THIS WORKS?

I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO DANCE AT MY OWN WEDDING.

WOMEN LIKE IT WHEN THERE'S SOME MYSTERY THERE.

THANKS.

YEAH.

OH, SHIT, IT'S COMING!

UH, HAND.

YO HO HO. HA!

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

[BOTH CONVERSE IN SPANISH]

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

WHERE ARE YOU?

WE HAVE A HIS-AND-HER LIPO IN HALF AN HOUR.

CAR TROUBLE. I'LL BE THERE.

SINCE I'VE GOT YOU,

WHY DID YOU SCHEDULE ANOTHER NECK LIFT FOR MRS. GRUBMAN?

I DIDN'T SCHEDULE THAT OPERATION.

WELL, WHO DID THEN, THE FILOFAX FAIRY?

I'M SITTING HERE REVIEWING NEXT MONTH'S SURGERIES,

AND HERE IT IS IN PEN ON THE 15th.

I'M TELLING YOU, SEAN,

I DIDN'T SCHEDULE THAT OPERATION.

I SLICED THAT BITCH'S WADDLE OFF

15 MONTHS AGO.

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

CALL MRS. GRUBMAN AND TELL HER YOU MADE A SCHEDULING MISTAKE.

I'LL SEE YOU IN A FEW.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

DR. TROY, WHAT A NICE SURPRISE.

I'M HEALING BEAUTIFULLY.

WHAT A DOLL YOU ARE TO CHECK UP ON ME.

LISTEN, SINCE I'VE GOT YOU ON THE HORN,

HOW MANY AMBIENS SHOULD I TAKE IF I WANT TO

SLEEP THROUGH THE ENTIRE 8-HOUR FLIGHT

AND WAKE UP REFRESHED IN TAHITI?

MRS. GRUBMAN, WHO SIGNED YOU UP FOR ANOTHER NECK LIFT?

I DID IT MYSELF

WITH THE GIRL AT THE FRONT DESK.

YOU WERE WITH A PATIENT,

AND YOU MADE IT CLEAR I'M NOT TO INTERRUPT.

I DIDN'T APPROVE THAT OPERATION.

LOOK, I'M CO-HOSTING A BENEFIT

WITH BLAINE TRUMP NEXT MONTH,

AND I NEED TO LOOK MY BEST.

NEVER SCHEDULE ANOTHER OPERATION WITHOUT MY CONSENT!

AM I CLEAR?

I DON'T LIKE YOUR TONE, DR. TROY,

AND THE NEXT TIME YOU SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY,

TAKE A MINUTE TO REMEMBER WHO'S KEEPING YOU

IN THOSE GUCCI SUITS YOU LOVE SO MUCH.

[BEEP]

MA'AM, I NEED YOU TO CLEAR YOUR POCKETS

AND GO THROUGH AGAIN.

LOOSEN YOUR BRAIDS AND TAKE A LOOK, SWEETHEART.

DO I LOOK LIKE A TERRORIST?

MA'AM, I NEED YOU TO GO THROUGH AGAIN.

PUT YOUR PHONE IN THE CLEARANCE BASKET...

PLEASE.

MRS. GRUBMAN?

HOLD ON, DR. TROY.

[BEEP]

[BEEP]

MA'AM.

I AM KEEPING THE MAINTENANCE

AS SCHEDULED, DR. TROY.

NO, YOU'RE NOT!

IT GOES AGAINST A.S.A.P.S. GUIDELINES.

IT'S NOT ETHICAL.

PLEASE, DR.TROY. SINCE WHEN

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ETHICAL?

MRS. GRUBMAN, THAT'S IT. I'M CUTTING YOU OFF.

MY OFFICE WILL NO LONGER SCHEDULE SURGERIES WITH YOU.

[HANGS UP PHONE]

DR. TROY!

UH...HELLO?

MA'AM, I NEED--

LOOK, YOUR MACHINE IS BROKE!

I AM NOT MISSING THAT FLIGHT.

WE'VE GOT A RUNNER.

[DON'T BRING ME DOWNPLAYING]

OH!

AND AS YOU CAN SEE, HERE IS THE CAUTERY TIP

YOU LEFT INSIDE MY CLIENT'S STOMACH AFTER HER TUMMY TUCK.

WITHOUT DOUBT, THIS IS THE METAL OBJECT

THAT SET OFF THE AIRPORT SECURITY SYSTEM

AND LED TO THE ASSAULT OF MY CLIENT.

SHE HAD THE OBJECT QUIETLY REMOVED

BY HER PRIVATE PHYSICIAN

AT CONSIDERABLE PAIN AND EXPENSE.

MRS. GRUBMAN, LET ME BEGIN BY SAYING HOW TRULY SORRY--

DR. McNAMARA,

SEEING AS THIS INCIDENT, TOP TO BOTTOM,

WAS CAUSED BY YOUR PARTNER,

I THINK IT IS HE WHO SHOULD APOLOGIZE.

MR. AMBROSE, WHAT KIND OF REPARATIONS ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

$10 MILLION...

NOT A PENNY LESS.

GODDAMN IT!

YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE AN INSTRUMENT COUNT, LIZ!

I DID. THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE.

I AM ALWAYS SO CAREFUL.

APPARENTLY, NOT CAREFUL ENOUGH!

WE COULD LOSE THE BUSINESS OVER THIS!

I CANNOT BELIEVE YOUR INEPTITUDE!

SEAN--

HOLD ON, CHRISTIAN.

THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND HIM.

YOU EXAMINED GRUBMAN'S BELLY

AFTER I DID AN INSTRUMENT CHECK,

CORRECT, SEAN? I MEAN, THAT'S PROTOCOL.

WAIT.

ARE WE TO BELIEVE FROM YOUR SILENCE

THAT MAYBE YOU DIDN'T DO IT

BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO DISTRACTED

WITH YOUR SON'S CIRCUMCISION?

WHAT INEPTITUDE!

LIZ, LOOK...I'M UPSET.

SCREW IT!

I SHOULD NEVER HAVE COME BACK HERE!

I AM RESIGNING!

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

LIZ, PLEASE, CAN YOU GIVE US A MINUTE?

OHH.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

IRONIC, ISN'T IT, THAT AFTER YEARS

OF MY ENDURING YOUR "BE MORE RESPONSIBLE" LECTURES,

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SCREWED US?

LOOK, WE HAVE MALPRACTICE INSURANCE

PRECISELY FOR THIS REASON.

IF WE PAY OUT, WE ARE SCREWED, CHRISTIAN.

OUR RATES TRIPLE, AND THEN, BASICALLY,

WE'RE WORKING TO BREAK EVEN.

WHAT IF SHE GOES TO THE MEDIA?

OUR PROFESSIONAL LIVES ARE OVER!

YOU HAVE TO GO TO HER.

ME?

SHE LIKES YOU. SHE TRUSTS YOU.

IF YOU HADN'T CUT HER OFF,

SHE PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO VINDICTIVE.

HEY, I CUT HER OFF BECAUSE OF YOU.

OH, I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO DO THAT.

NO? YOU'RE THE ONE

WHO IS CONSTANTLY BERATING ME

ABOUT MY SUPPOSED LACK OF ETHICS.

YOU'RE THE REASON I DUMPED GRUBMAN,

AND YOU'RE THE REASON NANETTE BABCOCK

PULLED A GODDAMN GLENN CLOSE ON MY CAR.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I WANTED TO HANDLE THIS PATIENT DIFFERENTLY,

MAKE HER IN SOME WAY FEEL BETTER ABOUT HERSELF,

BUT YOU AND YOUR NEW PIECE-OF-ASS HIRE--

I AM NOT INTERESTED IN HER IN THAT WAY!

WENT ALL DRACONIAN ON ME,

AND SHE TRASHED MY CAR!

YOUR FINGERPRINTS

ARE ALL OVER BOTH CRIME SCENES, SEAN.

HOW MANY WOMEN HAVE YOU SCREWED OVER, CHRISTIAN?

A HUNDRED? A THOUSAND?

IT COULD EASILY BE ONE OF THEM.

SHE DID IT, SEAN.

YOU DEAL WITH GRUBMAN.

I'LL INVESTIGATE NANETTE BABCOCK...

WITH GRACE.

[POUNDING ON DOOR]

HELLO?

MS. BABCOCK?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

UH, I'M SORRY.

I KNOCKED ON THE DOOR, AND IT OPENED.

YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION.

THE DOCTORS AND I WERE WORRIED.

I CAME BY TO SEE HOW YOU WERE DOING.

I'M DOING MY LAUNDRY.

I'M MAKING MY LUNCH.

I'M NOT GOING TO MY REUNION.

THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING.

NANETTE...

YOU WENT OFF YOUR LITHIUM.

DOES YOUR TREATING PSYCHOLOGIST KNOW ABOUT THAT?

I QUIT SEEING HIM A MONTH AGO.

HE COULDN'T DO ANYTHING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.

THAT'S WHY I CAME TO YOU.

YOU GUYS DID A SHITTY JOB AT THAT, TOO.

YOU SEE WHAT I'M EATING?

BULLSHIT LOWFAT TURKEY WITH NO BREAD.

THE LITHIUM MADE ME GAIN WEIGHT.

I NEEDED TO BE THINNER FOR MY REUNION.

THAT'S WHY I QUIT COLD TURKEY.

JIM RECONIA WAS GONNA BE AT MY REUNION.

I BET HE WOULD HAVE LOVED YOU,

YOU WITH YOUR PERFECT FACE

AND YOUR TIGHT ASS AND YOUR TITS

THAT DON'T SAG DOWN TO AN ELASTIC WAISTBAND

THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO WEAR.

I HATE GIRLS LIKE YOU.

YOU ALWAYS GET THE JIMS OF THIS WORLD.

WAS JIM A FRIEND OF YOURS, NANETTE?

HE WAS THE CLASS PRESIDENT.

I READ ON CLASSMATES DOT COM THAT HE WAS RECENTLY DIVORCED.

I THOUGHT, MAYBE IF I LOOKED PRETTIER...

LIKE ONE OF THEM...

HE'D NOTICE ME...

AND STRIKE UP A CONVERSATION.

BUT YOU RUINED THAT.

AND YOU RETALIATED

BY VANDALIZING DR. TROY'S CAR?

YOU THINK I WOULD DO THAT?

BECAUSE IF I'M UGLY,

NATURALLY I'M A CRAZY BITCH, TOO.

IS THAT RIGHT?

MS. BABCOCK, NOTHING THAT HAPPENS

IN A DOCTOR'S OFFICE IS PERSONAL.

YOU REJECTING ME AND RUINING MY DREAM IS PERSONAL!

YOU NOT MAKING ME THE BEST I CAN BE IS PERSONAL!

I GET REJECTED ALL THE TIME!

BUT WHEN I OFFER TO PAY AND STILL GET REJECTED,

THAT IS PERSONAL!

PLEASE LEAVE.

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING, DR. TROY.

I WAS HELD UP ON THE PHONE.

WELL, YOU KNOW HOW HYSTERICAL

YOUNG WOMEN CAN GET

WHEN THEY FIND OUT THEIR ONLY MOTHER

ALMOST DIED ON THE OPERATING TABLE.

NOW, MRS. GRUBMAN,

YOU DIDN'T ALMOST DIE ON OUR TABLE.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN SUFFER FROM SEPSIS OR--

OH, DROP THE TOUGH-LOVE BULLSHIT.

YOU DROVE ALL THE WAY TO PALM BEACH

FROM YOUR MIAMI BUTCHER SHOP,

AND I'M SURE IT WAS TO GROVEL, NOT TO LECTURE.

I'M SORRY.

YEAH, WELL, IT'S TOO LATE FOR SORRY.

DRINK?

ABSOLUT, NEAT.

A TOAST...

TO CLOSING YOU DOWN.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

YOU DON'T NEED THE GODDAMN MONEY.

YOUR HUSBAND LEFT YOU EVERYTHING

WHEN HE DIED.

I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE YOU BETRAYED ME.

I DIDN'T BETRAY YOU.

I WAS NEGLIGENT AND LEFT A CAUTERY TIP IN YOUR STOMACH--

I COULD GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT!

THEN WHY ARE YOU SUING ME?

BECAUSE YOU LEFT ME.

YOU LEFT ME AFTER I WAS LOYAL TO YOU.

OH, YOU THINK YOU MADE ME,

WITH YOUR IMPLANTS AND YOUR COLLAGEN

AND YOUR MAGIC SCALPEL.

BUT THE TRUTH IS, I MADE YOU.

I SENT YOU ALL MY SOCIETY FRIENDS.

I EVEN THREW COCKTAIL PARTIES

IN YOUR HONOR TO GET YOU KNOWN

IN ALL THE RIGHT CIRCLES.

AND NOW, DUMPING ME

LIKE ONE OF YOUR ONE-NIGHT WHORES

IS THE THANKS I GET?

I DESERVE BETTER.

GODDAMN THIS BRACE.

IT'S LIKE THE HANDS OF A KILLER

AROUND MY NECK!

MY DECISION WAS CORRECT, MRS. GRUBMAN.

I JUST WENT ABOUT IT THE WRONG WAY.

ACTUALLY, I STOPPED WORKING ON YOU BECAUSE...

BECAUSE YOU WERE MY MASTERPIECE.

THERE WERE NO MORE STROKES TO BE MADE ON YOUR CANVAS.

AFTER THE TUMMY TUCK, I REALIZED...

"SHE'S PERFECT NOW. MY WORK IS DONE."

YOU'RE A GODDAMN LIAR.

KEEP RUBBING.

BUT IF TRUTH BE TOLD,

THAT ALWAYS WAS MY FANTASY.

THAT YOU'D LOOK AT ME ONE DAY AND THINK I WAS BEAUTIFUL.

THAT YOU MADE ME BEAUTIFUL.

THAT YOU'D WANT ME.

NO MORE KNOTS. I THINK I'M DONE.

THINK AGAIN, DR. TROY.

DID SHE INTIMATE THAT IF YOU SLEPT WITH HER,

SHE'D DROP THE LAWSUIT?

ARE YOU ACTUALLY TELLING ME

TO STICK MY DICK IN THE CRYPTKEEPER

TO MAKE YOUR MISTAKE GO AWAY?

YOU'RE RIGHT.

YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT NANETTE BABCOCK, TOO.

WE NEED TO PUT OUT A RESTRAINING ORDER.

FILING A RESTRAINING ORDER

MEANS INVOLVING US WITH THE POLICE.

NOW IS NOT A TIME

TO FLIRT WITH RISK, REMEMBER?

OK, ENOUGH.

I'M GONNA DEAL WITH HER.

AND FORGET ABOUT GRUBMAN.

I'M GONNA TELL HER I BOTCHED THE SURGERY.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO GIVE IN TO HER DEMANDS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT OUR OPTIONS ARE, SEAN.

IF I DON'T, SHE'S GONNA CLOSE US DOWN,

AND I'M SORRY, I'VE WORKED TOO HARD

TO END UP AT 40 SAYING,

"WELCOME TO CINNABON, HOW MAY I HELP YOU?"

I'M GONNA SETTLE WITH GRUBMAN'S ATTORNEY.

I NEED TO PAY FOR MY SCREW-UP.

GREAT, SEAN, BUT WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO PAY?

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY UPSTAIRS]

* I'VE GOT THE NEED, I'VE GOT TO FEED *

VANESSA!

* SO BABY, PLEASE, I'M DOWN ON MY KNEES *

* YOU SHOULD SEE IT'S AN EMERGENCY, BABY *

* IT'S AN EMERGENCY, BABY, OH *

* WHEN I'M ALONE, I FEEL NO CONTROL *

* 'CAUSE BABY, YOUR HANDS ARE LIKE ROCK 'N ROLL *

* I'M NOT IN CONTROL *

* I'M NOT IN CONTROL *

* 'CAUSE BABY, YOUR HANDS ARE LIKE ROCK 'N ROLL *

* IT'S AN EMERGENCY, BABY! *

* IT'S AN EMERGENCY, BABY *

* BABY *

* OH, BABY, OH, YEAH *

* YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH *

OH, WHAT A NIGHT! WHAT AN EVENT.

$4 MILLION RAISED FOR SPINA BIFIDA,

AND YOU ON MY ARM.

NOT TOO SHABBY.

GET ME A NIGHTCAP,

WOULD YOU, DEAR HEART, HMM?

[WHISPERS] Shit!

[ BOY FROM IPANEMA PLAYING]

[TAKES DEEP BREATH]

* TALL AND TAN AND YOUNG AND HANDSOME *

* THE BOY FROM IPANEMA GOES WALKING *

* AND WHEN HE PASSES EACH GIRL HE PASSES GOES... *

THANK YOU. * AHH *

* BUT WHEN HE WALKS HE'S LIKE A SAMBA *

* THAT SWINGS SO COOL AND SWAYS SO GENTLE *

* THAT WHEN HE PASSES

* EACH GIRL HE PASSES GOES AHH *

* OH, BUT I WATCH HIM SO SADLY *

* HOW CAN I TELL HIM I LOVE HIM? *

* YES, I WOULD GIVE MY HEART GLADLY *

* BUT EACH DAY WHEN HE WALKS TO THE SEA *

* HE LOOKS STRAIGHT AHEAD NOT AT ME *

* TALL AND TAN AND YOUNG AND HANDSOME *

* THE BOY FROM IPANEMA GOES WALKING *

* AND WHEN HE PASSES ME I SMILE *

* OH, I WATCH HIM SO SADLY... *

YOU WANT THE LIGHTS ON OR--

OFF.

* HOW CAN I TELL HIM I LOVE HIM? *

* I WOULD GIVE MY HEART GLADLY *

[MUSIC STOPS]

[SOBBING]

MRS. GRUBMAN?

[CRYING]

HEY. WHAT'S WRONG?

IT'S NOTHING. I JUST...

TELL ME.

I HAVEN'T BEEN TOUCHED

BY A MAN LIKE THAT IN 12 YEARS.

NOT SINCE MY MARVIN DIED.

OH, I KNOW I'M PATHETIC,

BRIBING YOU FOR AFFECTION.

BELIEVE ME, I KNOW THAT.

THE NIGHTS ARE THE WORST, YOU KNOW.

THAT'S WHEN I MISS HIM THE MOST.

WE USED TO HAVE A LITTLE RITUAL,

MY HUSBAND AND I.

I'D TAKE MY MAKEUP OFF IN THE BATHROOM AND...

AND I'D GET IN BED ALL CLEAN AND BARE.

HE'D LEAN OVER AND LOOK AT ME

AND HE'D SAY...

"YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL."

[CRYING]

OH, GOD.

[SOBS]

[BLOWS NOSE]

OH, HOW SAD YOU MUST THINK I AM.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, MRS. GRUBMAN.

UNFORTUNATELY, WE LIVE IN A WORLD

WHERE ONLY ONE KIND OF BEAUTY

IS RECOGNIZED ANYMORE.

BUT I'M TELLING YOU, TONIGHT,

THE WAY YOU WORKED THAT ROOM,

THE WAY YOU WOULD JUST FLIRT WITH THOSE RICH GUYS

AND BAT YOUR EYES AND WALK AWAY

WITH A $100,000 CHECK FOR A CAUSE THAT NEEDS YOU...

THAT...

WAS BEAUTIFUL TO ME.

THANK YOU.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I--

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE BEST

ABOUT YOUR WORKING ON ME, DR. TROY?

IT'S NOT WHEN THE BANDAGES COME OFF.

IT'S WHEN I'M LYING THERE ON THE TABLE

READY TO GO...

AND I LOOK UP, AND THERE YOU ARE.

AND YOU HOLD MY HAND AS I GO UNDER,

AND THE LAST WORDS I HEAR YOU SAY ARE...

"EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OK."

EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OK.

[BEEP]

MS. BABCOCK, THIS IS

SEAN McNAMARA OF McNAMARA/TROY.

YOU CAME BY LAST WEEK

FOR A CONSULTATION WITH MY PARTNER.

I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WERE

AVAILABLE TO COME BACK TODAY

TO SEE ME, SAY 2:30?

LET MY OFFICE KNOW

IF THAT TIME WORKS FOR YOU.

THANK YOU.

AND DON'T LET THEM BUMP MY TIME.

I WANT TO BE THE FIRST ONE IN THE MORNING.

MRS. GRUBMAN.

DR. TROY, DON'T WORRY.

I'M NOT HERE TO REKINDLE

ANY OF THAT UGLY LAWSUIT BUSINESS.

I JUST CAME TO SCHEDULE SOME LIGHT BOTTOM LIPO.

I DIDN'T APPROVE THAT OPERATION.

OH, BUT YOU WILL.

AND CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, DR. TROY,

BUT FROM NOW ON,

NO MATTER WHAT THE OPERATION,

THERE'LL BE NO CHARGE.

I THOUGHT WE HAD AN UNDERSTANDING.

YES, WE DO.

YOU UNDERSTAND ME, AND I TREASURE THAT.

SEE YOU NEXT MONTH, DR. TROY.

PLEASE TELL ME SHE HASN'T DECIDED

TO REOPEN HER LAWSUIT.

WORSE.

WE HAVE A LIFETIME PRO BONO.

HUH!

NANNETTE BABCOCK'S HERE.

YOU WANT ME TO SIT IN?

NO. I NEED TO HANDLE THIS MYSELF.

I'D LIKE TO DO THE SURGERIES TOMORROW.

I FOUND THIS MAKEUP THAT COULD COVER THE BRUISES.

I COULD STILL GO TO MY REUNION.

BUT I THINK SINCE YOU'VE INCONVENIENCED ME,

YOU SHOULD CUT YOUR RATES.

I THINK THAT'S ONLY FAIR.

MS. BABCOCK, I DIDN'T CALL YOU IN TODAY

TO RESCHEDULE YOUR SURGERIES.

THEN WHY ARE YOU WASTING MY TIME?

I'VE TAKEN A PERSONAL INTEREST IN YOUR CASE, MS. BABCOCK.

I'D REALLY LIKE TO HELP YOU.

YOU CAN HELP ME BY FIXING MY FACE.

MS. BABCOCK, I SUSPECT THAT BECAUSE

YOU'VE GONE OFF YOUR MEDICATIONS,

YOU ARE IN OR ARE NEARING A MANIC EPISODE.

I'D LIKE TO RECOMMEND YOU VISIT DR. MARVIN SUMNER.

HE'S A FRIEND OF MINE WHO SPECIALIZES

IN MANIC DEPRESSION.

I'M NOT CRAZY.

I'VE ARRANGED FOR YOUR CONSULTATION

WITH DR. SUMNER TO BE FREE OF CHARGE.

I CAN DRIVE YOU THERE MYSELF, IF YOU LIKE.

LOOK, I'M REALLY TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING BY YOU.

THAT'S ALL I WANT TO DO.

I'D LIKE THAT DOCTOR'S NUMBER, PLEASE.

SO ANNIE JUST SHOWED ME THE FRISKY DOPPELGANGER.

HOW MANY PET SHOPS DID YOU HAVE TO GO TO

BEFORE YOU FOUND ONE THAT MATCHED?

4.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HER THE TRUTH?

BECAUSE SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY

FOR THE DAMAGE WE'VE DONE TO EACH OTHER.

I THINK YOU DID THE RIGHT THING.

YOU DO?

YOU'RE A GOOD MOTHER, JULIA.

YOU JUST PROVED IT.

SEAN, I'M NOT GOING TO BLAME YOU ANYMORE

FOR ME NOT BECOMING

WHO I ALWAYS WANTED TO BECOME.

INSTEAD OF BEING ANGRY,

I'M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL.

I THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

YEAH. YEAH.

BY THE WAY, ANNIE WANTS TO KNOW WHY FRISKY 2

IS DRY HUMPING FRISKY ONE.

OH, MY GOD!

DID I GET A FEMALE GERBIL BY MISTAKE?

MMM. YOU BETTER CHECK IT OUT.

OY!

[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

Sean: HEY!

COME ON IN HERE.

SO TELL ME.

TELL YOU WHAT?

HOW'D IT GO WITH VANESSA?

THE STITCHES ARE OUT.

I FIGURED YOU...

YOU KNOW.

IT WAS...GREAT, DAD.

JUST GREAT?

IT WAS EVERYTHING I WANTED IT TO BE.

AND I WANT TO THANK YOU

FOR JUST REALLY HELPING ME OUT

AND GIVING THAT TO ME.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

UH, I'M GONNA GO WASH UP FOR DINNER.

* WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ME? *

* ARE YOU QUITE PROUD OF THIS MAKE-BELIEVE *

* CURTAIN THAT HANGS AROUND *

* EVERYTHING YOU CAN ADMIRE IN THAT GIRL? *

* SHE'S SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL *

* BEAUTIFUL *

* I'LL SEE YOU BEFORE THE RACE YOU'VE RUN *

* AND JUMP AHEAD TO FIND *

* YOU'RE SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL *

* BEAUTIFUL *

* WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ME? *

* ARE YOU QUITE PROUD OF THIS MAKE-BELIEVE *

* CURTAIN THAT HANGS AROUND *

* EVERYTHING YOU CAN ADMIRE IN THAT GIRL? *

[GUNSHOT]

* SHE'S SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL *

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

* MAKE ME *

* BEAUTIFUL *

* LIE *