Original subtitles

Go. Go!

Oh. Um. Hi.

Uh. My name is Mary O'Reilly O'Toole O'Shea. And. Uh...

Don't be nervous.

Somewhere out there is the island my friend Muffy owns.

It's spring break...

and she's invited us over there for the weekend.

- And... - Uh-huh.

We're waiting for the ferry now to take us there. And...

I don't know what else to say.

Well. Why don't you tell us something about yourself?

Oh. All right. Something about myself.

Yeah.

I want to work with handicapped children.

And my parents are my best friends.

Oh. And I start convent school next semester...

and I fuck on the first date.

April Fool's.

Well. Nikki. baby. You're outrageous!

Ha. Now get out of here. you knucklehead.

All right. Uh. Kit. Kit. How about you?

- Uh. Pass. - Uh. Arch. Skip. Where are you?

- Yeah. Yeah. Uh. Yeah. - Come on. Help me out.

Yeah. Sure. Uh-huh. I fuck on the first date.

Didn't we? We did. On the first date.

- Didn't we. Honey? He's an animal. - Get off of me.

Oh. Shit!

Need any help down there?

No. Clara. Thanks. I'm just trying some last minute straightening up.

God. I don't think I've worked so hard in my life.

- Ow. - Sure you don't want me to stay?

There'll be nobody to help till the first ferry back Monday. You know.

No. Clara. You're a peach. This one's mine.

I told my father I'd do it. and I will. My way.

We don't want him to have any excuses.

All right then. Have a nice party.

Nice?

It's gonna be better than nice.

It's gonna be bloody unforgettable.

Good luck.

Here comes the ferry.

- Come on. - I call shotgun.

- Is this the St. John house ferry? - Yeah. Any second now.

Oh. Thank goodness. I didn't know if I was on the right road or not.

Here. Let me help you. Kit Graham.

- Nan Youngblood. - Hi. And that's Nikki Brashears.

Are you planning on staying a while?

Um. No. It's just some...

Some work for finals when we get back.

- I'm so far behind. - Hi. How's it going?

- I got it. Hi. Arch Cummings. - Hi. Nan.

- I've seen you around. Jewett Hall? - Yeah.

Chaz Vyshinsky. You've got great legs.

Chaz. Now that she already has her bags...

I only met Muffy this term in Drama Society.

I volunteered to do their costumes.

I like to sew.

- Did you see her in Ghosts? - No.

Oh. She was wonderful. She's so talented.

Yeah. She is.

Guy. Your fly is open...

and your Hostess Twinkie is hanging out.

Huh?

Come on if you're coming.

Um. Excuse me. Sir. But we're still waiting for someone...

This is Friday... my last run of the week. I don't get overtime.

But you have to wait because this is the only way over...

and if he misses this one. then how is he sup...

Wait up!

Go. Go. Go. Go!

Sorry. Guys. Nik. Chaz. Hi.

- Rob Ferris. Hi. - Hi.

Whoa! Hi. Harvey Hal Edison. Jr.

But call me Hal. Only my folks call me Harve. And I can't stand it.

Uh. Sure is a pretty spot here. isn't it?

You're friends with Muffy St. John?

Sure am. We sit together in Econ 345.

I let her copy my marginal utility curves.

Oh. I get it. That's a joke!

- Harve... - Hal! Springsteen! Still the Boss!

Okay. Let's go. We don't have all day.

You all. Uh. Buddies?

Except for Skip and Nan. They only just met.

But we will be.

Careful what you say to him. though. He's Muffy's cousin.

- Oh. No kidding! - Distant.

Over the horizon. Otherwise. I wouldn't have been invited.

Old money never mixes family with friends.

This is true. for as long as I've known her.

Or to protect her family. I guess.

No. To keep her friends.

Choose your weapons. Big guy.

- Hey. Hey. What's this? - You up for a game of stretch?

- Okay. - Skip. Your fly is open.

Eat it.

Ah. Rob.

Your fly is open.

Okay. Don't believe me.

Oh. Nice.

We're off.

Bye.

First round. The champ!

You know what I find amazing? Muffy's her real name.

I mean. My name's Harvey. but they call me Hal.

So I figured Muffy must stand for something... Muffin?

Muff-child. Moffo. the Muffster. Muff'n' stuff.

Muff dive.

Hi. What are you reading?

Uh. Milton's Paradise Lost.

For Professor Russo's course in English epic.

- Hmm. - You know. It's a shame.

- It's a dying form. - Dying.

Not too many people read it nowadays. Even in college.

Really?

What about you?

Oh. Treasure island. The history of pornography in America.

Kit. I'm a state university boy.

I don't have the perks like some of you private college kids do.

Don't give me that.

First. I'm hoping to interview with her daddy's company...

southern regional sales. next year before graduation.

You know. He's worth more than 50 million over the counter.

But I don't think that's why she invited me. Do you?

I mean. My God. we're not going to be sheltered...

little college kids our whole life.

Wake up. Smell the bacon. Nan.

It's research that I can do all on my own.

And this is the best part.

I never get tired of it.

You wanna take a look?

Bruce's car was in the shop.

- I mean. It was really... - But that's not my point.

Fuck!

Oh. My God!

We're gonna spend a weekend there?

What are you. A fucking wimp?

Hey. I'm really not that interested anymore.

Come on. Man. Just one more! Double or nothing!

Here. Enough's enough.

- Oh. What? What are you. Scared? - Hey. I said give it a rest!

Oh. Fuck!

I'll get him. I'll get him.

- Where is he. Guys? - Where is he?

What you looking for?

We got 'em! Oh. Yeah. Did we nail 'em!

Ha. Ha. Ha. April Fool's. Very funny.

What's wrong with you? Somebody could have gotten hurt out there.

Oh. At least we don't go for "this shoelace is untied" crap.

You know that.

Oh. Great! Shit!

Okay. Buck. Come on out of there.

Come on. I'm gonna need some help up here.

No. No. I'll just do it from here.

Throw me the line.

- This one? - That's the one. That'll work.

Thank you.

Some hero you turned out to be.

I took off my jacket and shoes. What do you want from me?

There were three guys in the water.

- I'm only kidding. - Nikki. Can we borrow your towel?

Yeah.

You guys got to admit it was a hell of a trick.

- I loved it. - Unforgettable.

Buck. Iook out!

- Oh. Shit! - Call a medic!

Calm him down!

- We gotta get him to a doctor! - Cal!

- Cal! - The boat!

The boat!

Calm him down!

They did it! They did it!

What's going on? Sam. What happened?

Tricks. Pranks. Ask your friends.

- Is your dad around? - No. He's in Sutton Place. Why?

You haven't heard from him or anyone else?

Uh. Iook. I'm gonna have to borrow your boat to get back to shore.

We keep all the keys on a board in the kitchen.

But I think there's an extra one underneath the cushion there.

Look. You people.

Stay put. All of you.

If anything else happens or if anything happens to Buck...

I wanna know where to find you.

Skip. It's not your fault.

It was an accident. You didn't know.

Sure. Did you see his face?

Muffy. Nothing bad ever happens to her.

Well. There's an awful lot to be done with this place.

- You sound as if you own it. - I will.

If all goes well. next month. When I turn 2 1...

it's my first stage of inheritance.

First stage? What's your second?

Taxes. You may be talking to your future boss. Harve.

Nikki...

burn my bags. Baby.

I am home!

Oh. Yeah! I could get really used to this.

We used to spend all our summers here before my mother died.

This is a very special place to me.

It's like a dream.

On a clear day. you can see the Kennedys.

Wow! You guys. Iook at this.

Oh. Muffers! Our very own place settings...

with our very own place cards...

and a his and her little dolly!

- It's just like in Agatha Christie. - And sporks!

- "Sporks"? - And napkins with bunnies on 'em.

Gee. Muff. you really spared no expense.

Well. Now how do you think Daddy made his money?

The old-fashioned way... he inherited it.

I used to have all of her outfits.

Hold it! Now don't anybody move...

but before this night is over. somebody in this room...

will pull his wang.

"My first experience was. 'A. ' painful and degrading...

"'B. ' not so hot. but I really cared about him...

"'C. ' I was ready to try again...

or 'D. ' wildly exciting... I had an orgasm."

"A" and part of"B."

"Painful and degrading." "Not so hot. But I really cared about him."

Aw. That's so sweet!

I'll take "B."

"Not so hot. but I really cared about him."

Was it Rob?

Uh. No. It wasn't Rob.

Uh. What about you. Nikki?

Um. "A" and "D"...

"Painful and degrading." "Wildly exciting... I had an orgasm."

What can I say? Uh...

Anyway. "The one thing I haven't tried yet...

"but am intensely curious about is:

"'A. ' oral sex...

"'B. ' anal entry...

"'C. ' S and M. 'D. ' group sex...

'E. ' lesbian sex or 'F. ' all of the above."

What was "C"?

Hi. My name is Mary O'Toole O'Reilly O'Shea...

and I want to go to convent school and things like that.

Welcome. Welcome to my home...

and lifestyles of the rich and undeserving.

Uh. My name is Arch Cummings. and I'm on a mission here.

I'm on a mission to bed as many women as humanly possible.

Nan's out. To be honest.

Uh. She likes the theater...

and. Well. you know what I'm saying.

She's out of first round draft choices. If you know what I mean.

Poor boy can say. "Fuck you. Dad.

I'm my own person."

What's his father gonna do. kick him out of the house?

Disinherit him?

His life won't have changed much.

He's got nothing to lose.

His father's love.

That was lost a long. Long time ago.

Skip. Blaming yourself won't make Buck any better.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Ta-da! - Boy. Muffy. You sure know...

how to make a guy look forward to dessert.

Please. God. let it be Ding-Dongs.

St. John hospitality taken to the extreme.

I think it's real friendly. Makes me feel right at home.

How are we gonna feel after these beans?

You guys!

Care for some beans?

I wonder how Buck's doing.

- Should call or something? - I'll call later.

I'm sure he's getting the best medical care available. Right?

You guys. let's change the subject.

Well. Uh...

Harve's got his job interview all figured out.

What about the rest of us? Does anyone know...

what they're gonna be doing after graduation?

- Good choice. Arch. - This is incredible.

Here we are. privileged. Independent...

the hope for the future right at this table.

None of us knows what we're gonna do with the rest of our lives.

- Rob knows. - Kit. Come on.

Rob is going to medical school.

No shit. You got early acceptance?

We can talk about this at some other time.

Why? You already had the meeting with your counselor.

Kit. I don't think he wants to talk about it in front of everybody.

- No. No. I don't mind. - We're all friends here. Right?

Sort of.

He said to forget it.

He said that my grades might be okay...

but. Well. Basically. I possess an essential lack of seriousness.

And that's what they look for.

Him too? That's what my guy said. I said. "You gotta be kidding.

"I mean. How can anyone be serious about anything...

"when some moron can steal a bomb or push a button...

and nuke us all until our shadows glow?"

He wasn't impressed with that. but...

Oh. What's this? Dom Perignon sparkling rose?

Smells like Ripple.

You have outdone yourself again. St. John.

Can I make a toast?

Well...

someone once said to me...

to cherish the friends you make in college.

I try to cherish all the friends I make.

- Stop it! - Because...

they'll be the friends you cherish most for the rest of your life.

So. Well. Here's to us.

And here's to my life...

because I'm very glad to be here...

and to be a part of all of you.

Muffy. Anything you want to add to that?

Why me?

Because you're the hostess.

Okay. In his Life ofJohnson...

James Boswell said...

"We cannot predict the precise moment when friendships are formed.

"As in filling a vessel. drop by drop...

there is at last one which makes it run over."

"So. In a series..."

"So. In a series of kindnesses...

"there is at last one... which makes the heart run over.

"So. With his toast...

may our hearts run over and our friendships be formed."

- All right. - Oh. Cheers!

- Cheers! - Going down.

- Oh. My God! - Oh. No!

April fool.

Wow. What is this. the bridal suite?

You like it? I thought you needed the room.

I'll find a use for it.

Um. I know you and Arch had something going before I met him.

Arch is sweet. but he only has two expressions...

collar up and collar down.

Yeah. I found that out.

Um. Guess what I'm trying to say now is...

Um. Well. You always seem to get there first...

but this time Chaz is mine. Okay?

What about Hal?

Harvey? Mr. Junior Achievement? Oh. Please!

Yuck!

Don't try to tell me you hadn't thought of me in that way. Muffy.

Why. I felt the spark between us...

the very first time we ever laid eyes on each other.

In Econ 345.

Why. Just think of it. Muffy.

With my talent...

and your...

money...

All right. Ladies.

We're gonna have some privacy.

You gotta be kidding.

Unless Muffy knows something about us we don't.

Hold me. Big fella. Hold me!

Just holster it. Cowboy. Will ya?

Let's play hide the sausage.

Giddyap!

- Oh. Hold me like a man. General! - Stop it!

Why. Just think of it. Muffers.

With my raw. Drivin' talent...

and your. Uh...

And your...

Wrong room.

Shit.

Aw. Come on.

Are you still angry with me?

About dinner?

No.

I'm sorry. I'm not angry at you. I'm just angry.

Ow! Jesus!

Very funny.

Boo! Muffy.

Arch.

- Hi. Muff. Hi. - Ah. Ah. Hmm.

Um. Do you know what time it is. Iove?

- Mm-hmm! - Oh. My God!

Good night.

Wait.

Real funny. You guys!

Better ride than you can give me!

Hello?

Shit.

Who's there?

Fuck! Jesus Christ!

Fuckin' cat.

Oh. God.

Mornin'.

I was having a nightmare about Buck. and I don't know what to...

Good morning.

I was just hungry.

I must look a mess.

- Oh! - Good morning. Muff.

I forgot to get dressed.

- So who made her night? - I don't know.

- Where's Skip? - That depends what he's on.

- You guys have gotta be kidding. - Bye-bye.

Hey. Nan. Nan. What about it? Come on.

No. Thanks.

Besides. I thought I'd wait to see what Muffy wanted to do.